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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I think he really loves her. Please do not taker her away from him.
Yeah nice work so far, have you checked on my progress story? Its getting good so far plus with new weapons being introduced.
Verik, your mate wants to mate. Get to it!
i.ytimg.com/vi/iH12OJ0MrdQ/hqdefault.jpg
this needs to be said, to the both of them
They say rp is good for inspiration when writing tough chapters
9519641
I run things through my mind as to what they might say or do but writing something like this is completely alien to me. My experience falls into politics, history, logistics and military not love and teasing.
9519513
Yeah but wheres the fun in "and then they fucked" which basically summarizes most stories out there? I want to show how awkward things are for them.
9519323
They want each other quite badly but actually getting each other is proving to be difficult because of beliefs and differences in culture. Dont forget Sibi set them both up.
9519105
He wants a wife not a mate but you are seeing conflicting cultural norms when it comes to marriage. So... Who's will win?
9519101
I am not going anywhere near your story because I know how internet politics work and if I say "yeah I read X chapter" then comes the screaming and howling about how I am ripping someone else's ideas off and trying to profit from it. Not long after that comes the howling at admins about plagiarism. So I will pass, not going to walk into that minefield because one guy already tried to pull that shit on me.
9519943
lol my experience only falls in the latter, but I felt you did well for your first time.
9519946
Oh, sorry. Just figured you could check for yourself, and see if I need to improve or not. Also the part where Asha tried to get verik to do whatever, that part I did not get, mind explaining that to me?
9520732
Two conflicting cultures when it comes to public nudity in that Asha's culture does not care because going nude is quite normal due to the heat and general lack of clothing. Now Verik comes from Earth where running around nude will get you arrested and is something you only do in front of a spouse in American Culture. Asha, but namely Sibi, see this as an issue as he avoids most everyone quite a bit depending on their general state of undress for various reasons. So suddenly you have an issue where Sibi wants to help Asha by busting him out of this shell once and for all because of just how nervous he gets around Asha because she is basically naked 24/7. As Sibi said in the chapter: until they bust him out of his shell just getting him into bed will probably become a problem, truth is that is is not actually true. You just have two completely different views on the matter which will become more apparent in the next chapter.
You have two sides here, one thinks he is hiding because he is adverse to nudity (he is not, its just that he has to control his urges) but also because if the can just get him to make a move... ANY move at all... Then it will cement things. To him the duel did that but to Asha (namely Sibi) that does not really help if you cant get your pants off to make the next generation. Life is generally short and ends violently in this land so why take a vow of chastity till marriage? Make babies now and enjoy life vs. lets wait until things are more stable.
Sibi was behind this however because Asha was open to suggestion but a bit too embarrassed to do anything with a bit of pushing. This chapter also helps detail that Verik has been holding back from jumping her for all this time and she damn near sent him over the edge.
In short: Sibi's plan was to put them both in a really awkward situation which would hopefully result in them just doing it and getting it over with and she nearly succeeded. Asha on the other hand thought this whole "Sibi Plan" would simply help ease Verik into things and help him get over it only he was over it, just holding back.
The next chapter picks this up and carries things on from a different perspective.
9520354
Yeah well the hair raising part is I know the "wedding night" is coming down the pipes as I keep writing and you want to talk about not really knowing what to do or how to write it... I can meticulously describe a battle and how people are fighting, dying and the wounds, planning, fears, etc but sex? Gods help me.
9521823
Ok that makes since, and not to sound like your character, but later in the story could you 'please' put some clothes on her? Its getting hard to imagine her image at times.
9522845
I have my plans already laid. However, consider how impoverished they are at this point in time. Oh and you can see pictures of her (and others) by donating on my patreon or visiting my FA, the later is really out of date as its free.
9522880
I can't donate, plus last time I gave money on the laptop it won't upload total war Attila, so I not doing that again. Oh by the way, have you checked on my progress so far? It is coming together.
I was quietly laughing so hard while reading this chapter. And recently I was about to ask if there would at least be a comedy chapter or two in this otherwise dark and brooding story. Glad to know I didn't have to.
Well done.