Chapter 20 ???
Chapter 20 ???
Somewhere near the undisclosed location in the north...
Heavy travelling-cloak flapped gently in the cold wind, wrapped around a mysterious figure, watching from a distance of what the white alicorn with a rainbow mane was doing. She seemed to be casting something upon the icy cave entrance, before taking flight.
"Oh my dear, dear Tia... You where always gifted in receiving visions..." the figure muttered to herself, with a small head shake, like she was mildly disappointed in the white alicorn, who was now a distant speck in the horizon.
"...But had a habit of failing to look inward, when trying to start interpreting them... The threads of Fate will always find a way to correct any attempts to change them. Or maybe you are just unknowingly fulfilling the seen prophecy all on your own?"
After a moment of silent thinking, the stranger turned her blue eyes to look at the iceberg turned prison. Only to see it breaking off from the shoreline ice, starting to slowly float somewhere with the ocean currents.
"Hmmm... Looks like the tides of fate are moving..." she said, closing her eyes for a moment, before opening them. Only this time they had changed from blue into different colors. One being now the purest of white, and the other darkest of black, gazing into the vast expanse of fates and destinies, with small droplets of future peeking through. Even some magical side-effect wind was caused by this small peek into the threads, momentarily revealing a pair white wings under the travelling-cloak, covered more by a humble saddlebag, and a spiraling horn beneath the hood.
This mystical color change only lasted for a short moment, with the wind dying down as well, letting the cloak once more cover the stranger. Only the hood needed to be corrected by her a little bit in order to cover her red mane.
"Interesting... Very interesting indeed... The wheels are turning, and the pieces are moving. And all I can do, is wait and see. As all of those who can peek behind the Veil of fates should... Unmei ga anata o mekura ni sa senaide kudasai (Translation: Do not let destiny blind you)..." she whispered by herself, while starting to walk somewhere else to make a camp for the night.
-
-
-
"...Maybe I should have abolished Regalis Imperātum being hereditary before leaving?... Oh well, what's done is done..."
To be continued...
Surprise!
And yes before you ask, I plan on continuing the story in a second part that has been brewing for a long while. Almost since the original planning phase.
But now after... *checks something* pretty much two years of casual writing, I have finally finished my first "big story"... Well the first part of it.
Sooo... Should I continue this story with sequel now? Or maybe start another different one that's been brewing on the side? Or try write them both should the inspiration hit me gud? What do you think?
And hopefully you enjoyed the ride.
Edit: Sequel is out.
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Well donr
10306581
Yeah. I'm expecting that the vision Celestia had will be fulfilled, but with Celestia turning out to be the one who set the sky on fire and hopefully figuring out that she was the villian in her vision and Naja was the hero trying to save Equestria
go for the sequel i want more lore of this realm you have told us of (translation : give more in next thing cus you write gud )
More, although I wonder, is this story finished? And this you’ll continue it in a new story?
10306596
This part is finished. And my plan would be to continue this in a new story.. The other idea would be a different story altogether in a different Equestria.
continue this please
my one major critique of part 1 is that Naja was too forgiving celestia betrayed her again and again and Naja just kept giving her another chance, honestly after tirek and being locked up she should have broken out gone to her village and cut of all ties with equestria as the saying goes fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me
still i like to see where this goes
Wonderful story! I suggest to write both when inspiration hits for either
I have no idea on what this another story in supposed to be.
Because of this I want to see the sequel asap.
But the most important thing is: you not burning yourself out.
So, if you have this big story prepared that you want to write, then go ahead.
Just keep us up with Naja (even if monthly). I really want to see justice delivered.
Because regarding Celestia - a quote from one famous comedian: "You get what you fucking deserve."
well done well done. ......Please continue the story your story is geting good...
you should start the sequel now, while the story is still "fresh" in the mind of those following it and for new reader who might jump in as well, some peoples (me for example) often wait before reading a story when a sequel is expected but not released. that and this is some good stuff.
(-I predict celestia will go nightmare and burn canterlot and naja will actually come save her ass-)
Please continue with a sequel.
Of course, and now even if Celestia or anyone else wants to find Naja by going to the place Celestia went they won't find her... how much do you guys wanna bet Celly didn't even consider the ice breaking apart and floating away
The tides of the sea too
Correction my dear, you're choosing to just wait and see... also nowhere in that line does it say "Stand by and do nothing while your daughter make mistake after mistake that affects hundreds of thousands of lives in a negative way"
Ya think
Difficult to answer, while I definetly want to know what happens next I am also interested in what else you got up you're sleeves, and at the same time I know that it can be extremely difficult to multitask stories so I'm not sure that askign that of you is a good idea.
I'm conflicted and can't give you a good answer here sorry
“Should I continue with a sequel”
Umm yes, please? There is kind of a lot of unanswered questions that I’m pretty sure everyone is looking forward getting answered. Was actually a bit shocked and more than a little concerned seeing ‘completed’ with so much story left. As I’m sure others are thinking, please keep it going.
I can’t wait for the sequel.
Sequel please, Naja deserves better.
write them both
The constant imprisonments and do nothing attitude of the rest of the alicorns is becoming a little boring. Its also starting to get so bad that I'm beginning to hate Twilight, Luna, and Cadance for going along with Celestia even if they give a half assed attempt to say they arent on board.
Grammer has also taken a big hit/not seen improvement. If the sequel is going to be as contrived and redundant as the first I'm not sure I'll stick around.
..... I'd laugh if I could still draw breath.
A foolish Queen, and a moronic Princess. A match for the maker, like mother like daughter.
Truely, accountability is a foreign concept to the ideal personification of Pony society.
10306601
Yes, this bothered me quite a bit. Why didn't she leave after the first unlawful imprisonment?!
Is her brain empty? Are those cells half-dead from isolation? She could've escaped, by her own admission, why the fuck did she stay?
On one hand I want the sequel asap, but on the other I don't wand you to burn yourself out on this story. At the same time, if you were to do a different story instead of this one you might forget about this or lose the motivation to write it. And if you were to do both I have seen that cause a lot of strain on some authors causing them to put one or both stories on an indefinite hiatus or outright canceling them. So yeah, I'm indecisive and am just going to let you do whatever it is you feel like doing.
10306787
More of an unfortunate combination of sunbutt having one final "strike" left, and Naja not wanting to give any more ammo to the a-hole nobles and thinking that sunbutt would not try anything with so many witnesses present. Sure helped a lot.
Will Naja get out and get her justice? Will Big Karma finally bite down on Celestia's cake ass? And will Twilight stop being Celestia's bitch? Find out next time on Dragonball..uh.. I mean Serpent of the south!
disappointed on the white alicorn - disappointed in the white alicorn
Looks the tides of fate - Looks like the tides of fate
while starting walk somewhere - while starting to walk somewhere
Hmm, looks like Queen Mommy is off wandering the world on her own... While her eldest daughter seems to be dead set on following in the footsteps of her daddy dearest.
Also, good grief. LoL. Celestia imprisoned Naja in ice to use her reptilian nature against her. And now due to global warming, or perhaps an earthquake causing a fissure in the ice, Naja is now adrift at sea. I wonder how long it will take for her prison to melt? And just what she will do once she has her freedom this time? Something tells me she's far past letting bygones be bygones.
As for whether to write the sequel or start on something new? Follow your muse, no one will be happy if you aren't writing what you want. But whatever you decide to do, once you DO start the sequel please post an update link in this story so we can find it easier. Like, post a teaser chapter here showing what to expect in the sequel or something? Or perhaps just an author's note explaining that the new story is out.
well looks like as the saying goes we create our own monsters is true here as Celestia just keeps fucking up hope she gets the beating she deserves if you are making a sequel to this. I hope you are, I really loved the story until Celestia fucks up now I just kind of wish her little vision becomes true but next time she sees that it was her own action that made it true. well she will soon fall from grace by her own actions and nobles plus a snake lady and i can't say that i do not not wish to see Tia cry from her own stupidity cause I kind of want too.
I want to say do the sequel but do both dude so you don't burn yourself out while writing the sequel or the other story. In the meantime tho I will have the spongebob time later meme waiting when the sequel pops.
10306787
she did try to leave after the unlawful imprisonment but she promised triek to meet and got knocked out by the main 6
now the song begins with credits slowly appearing
It's been a treat reading how Celestia just keepa digging herself deeper and deeper, and I hope to see her realize just how much she's screwed the pooch with her actions. I hope that the sequel comes soon, I want to see just what a pissed off Naja can do.
please wright a Sequel!
Yes continue this story you've been blue balling me for a year
Please continue this story line in the next story you write.
Given we have effectively no details on the other story besides the fact that it would not be in the same equestria, I have to cast my vote on you continuing with the sequel to this. At the same time I feel that you shouldn't force yourself if you can't get inspiration. That being said if you don't feel that you'll burn yourself out, absolutely work on the sequel first. If you need time for the other story instead, that's also cool, but I'm hoping you can reach a compromise that works well for us as well as you.
YOU HAVE TO GO WITH THE SEQUEL
you can’t leave us with this cliffhanger
(please)
Hoping to see the sequel, though if you feel like you can juggle both stories you can try and alternate them.
Do the Sequel, cause this isn't finished. Heck nothing even happened yet. Naga was imprisoned before story started, and imprisioned after. Literally NOTHING changed, except Blueblood left. That's literally the ONLY Difference from Chapter 1, and Chapter 20. 'Things happened', but those things are just fluff that ultimately doesn't matter, and can be changed out and substituted in any form. In the end, Celestia still hates Naga, Naga still hates Celestia, and Naga is still Imprison. Really, you can say the only big change, is that the the Start of the Sequel, the level of hate Naga has and what she does when freed, SHOULD have been what she had and did in the beginning of this story!
Without even knowing what other story bits there are, I can safely say you could easily skip this story and read the sequel when it's written, and have no issues. That's how little the things that happened in this story mattered over all.
I agree with 8bitmadness best. I would like to see a sequel, but don't force it, an feel free to work on other stories as your muse provides
*sniff* This story, *wipes away a tear* is a masterpiece. J-90, when you write the sequel, please send me a message. I DESPREATLY want to know what happens next. Also nice job with the F**** cameo in this chapter.
Ending on a cliff hanger.
My readers would lynch me if i went to something else after doing that. Granted they wanted to lynch me any way even when i did plan to go to the second part.
Still my votes for the sequel
Tell us when the chapter of the next story is ready, because seriously, Celestia should know about self-fulfilling prophecies, she spit in everything and put herself as a tyrant, and if war is not coming, it will be from very hard work from the other princesses... Heck, Maybe they should give some of her medicine, with the help of Discord it could not be hard. Of course he will not do anything by himself but maybe Twilight can convince Fluttershy to suggest it
I just got stupidly hook on this, you gotta keep this train going, I'm loving this too much!!
You had better keep going, man! You can't just leave us with all of this, and then bugger off to another story!
... why do I have the feeling discord had a hand in setting Naja out to sea? And guys remember she is a displaced meaning eventually she will find a displaced token to summon other displaced so if one happens to appear and activate that would let Naja get free if possible.
Sequel please baja deserved better treatment also i want to see is there a riot on camterlot or other place
Please do a squeal of this, it feels so incomplete at this point.
Definitely go for a sequel. Maybe with some more inclusion of the crossover thing as I really enjoyed ffxv so maybe some astral’s?
Aah, I see. Like father like daughter then. They might not be humans but as the saying goes, "some people just want to watch the world burn" and Celestia is alicorn of the sun.
10307901
DO NOT EVEN SUGGEST THAT. Its crap like that, that ruins majority of these stories! I do not want to have bitter taste left on my mouth from this one too.
Need sequel yesterday.....
Like me gustó 👍👍👍👍
Finally caught up, and I would like to see this continue :)
media1.tenor.com/images/ac99ebc340222aef66de1a36cb413a81/tenor.gif
Will be waiting till then :)