Chapter 18 Horned one's second arrival. (Stupid-pill warning)
Blueblood manor's garden.
"How are things going in there Cid? You've been in there for an hour. Or are you jacking off in there?"
"Far from it snakebutt! Already did that earlier. And this engine still has some issues in it. Those said issues being some darn tits, that flew in here during our trip here from that excuse of a castle. Now I have clear those fried turd sized birds out of here, and I bet we don't want them messing up any exhaust or cause engine to blow up on the way home."
"Just get it fixed Cid. Hera is slowly starting to get a little homesick."
"I'll try, but will not be making promises."
This exchange was followed by a small explosion from the airship engine, where Cid had crawled in a while ago to do some repairs, accompanied with some black smoke as well.
"I'm alright! This smoke ain't nothing compared to what my daily cig's produce!" the pilot griffin called out, soon followed by the sound of wrench cranking on something.
Three of them had been staying at Bluebloods manor for a couple of days by now, none of them not really leaving to have a look around the Canterlot of their own choice. One the reasons being not wanting to deal with all of the potential "head-up-their-plot-"upper-crust"" of the city.
Luckily for them, Bluey had also stayed with them, while being a really good host for them.
Only news they have gotten about the Royal Sisters is about them, along with Twiggles and her merry band heading to Crystal empire soon after the ball. After them returning from there just yesterday, not much was told about the happenings from there, even when Bluey had asked about how the trip had gone. Only thing he could gather was that Celestia seemed to be really worried about something, apparently muttering something about Discord.
After waiting for an another explosion for a couple of minutes, Naja decided to go check up on Hera, who had gone to the second garden on the other side of the manor.
Her careful slithering on the connecting path was momentarily interrupted by a sound of breaking stone. One quick glance revealed a rather expensive looking marble bust of somepony, laying broken on the ground, thanks to her ample tail-side.
"Just so you know, that marble bust was maybe over a seven hundred years old..." came Bluebloods voice behind a tree next to the broken marble bust, followed by him coming out from behind the said tree, holding a book in his magic.
"And I absolutely hated it, due to it being an image of my family trees worst member, in my opinion."
"Oh? Who was he or she?"
"To put it 'nicely', the worst kind of blood-purist, maybe after the late King, who also thought that unicorns should kill any other species to 'gain their divine right as rulers of the world'. It didn't go anywhere luckily, and according to the family story he was hanged, drawn and quartered by his own slave-troops and descendants before my aunt could decide what to do about him... It was a crazy time, and almost no one remembers his name... So yeah, good riddance to a lump of rock, that had the displeasure of being carved to look like him."
"After hearing that, I'm rather inclined to agree. Have fun with the book, and mind my tail." Naja said to him, continuing her slithering.
"Will do. it is rather informative." Blueblood commented, while returning to his book, which seemed to some kind of a position guide for something intimate.
Naja found Hera in the second garden, meditating near a pond, with the Carbuncle happily hopping around her. When it noticed marilith approaching, it hopped on her tail a couple of times.
"Hello Naja. Is Cid still cranking his engine? And I mean the ships."
"Unfortunately there are still some burned up birds clogging the engine. So its going to take some more time, unless we want the exhaust smell like fried chicken."
"I wouldn't mind all that much, but I'm not the mechanic. So I trust Cid on this one."
With a nod, Naja coiled up next to Hera, joining in the meditation session. Both of them where serenely silent for an hour, until finally stopping. No zen-phase was reached on marilith's part.
"Have you ever wondered what might happen if another Red Materia was born out of your meditation? The only ones I know of are this one..." Hera asked, while subtly pointing at the said red materia orb of Carbuncle on her ornamental pin. " And 'the other one', that created the Badlands with just a warning shot... At least according to the stories."
"...I'm not sure, to be honest... It most likely would depend what it call forth, and who it would bond with, like Carbuncle seems to have done with your family, even though it is only been wielded by Hermes and you. If 'the other one' where to end up in hands of someone more or less wicked or zealous being, the world would be in serious trouble. Even a noble soul would be at risk without a proper training." was Naja's thoughtful answer.
"And in case of the Equestrian, they have a tendency of using magic in far too many places, seemingly crippling their country's nature, to the point that they now think their way of controlling it is 'natural'. Personally, I would not teach the art of wielding materia based magic to Equestrians. Ancestors have mercy if they even think of trying to use even one materia crystal in a wrong way at this time..." Hera concluded, before returning to her meditation, Naja following soon after.
Around an hour later, their shared meditating was interrupted by a polite cough from Blueblood.
"Sorry to disturb your session, but there is a royal guard with a message from Celestia. In short, she asks your presence at the castle."
"For what?"
"Guard said that Princess will explains it in private."
"... Very well then, I'll go see what she want's. Anything against it Hera?"
"No, other than that remember to be careful, just in case something goes sideways."
With a nod, Naja followed Bluey to the manors gate, where the guard was waiting to escort marilith to the castle.
Canterlot castle, Throne room...
It did not take that long for Naja to arrive to the throne room doors, and being let in to the room with a fancy golden chair, with the Sun Princess waiting there.
"Your majesty. Miss Naja has arrived." the guard announced.
"Thank you. Please, leave us. There are some thing's I'd like to talk with her in private."was Celestias official sounding order, which all the guards in the room followed, with some of them a little bit wary about leaving their princess alone with a presumed monster-grade creature.
After they where left alone, Celestia casted a faint barrier to ensure their privacy from potential eavesdroppers.
"Thank you for coming Naja. I was afraid you might not come." Celestia said, with a small smile.
"Well, here I am now. So how about we cut the excess pleasantries, and get down to business. So what do you want from me?" Naja answered, while folding all of her six arms.
"Very well then... An old enemy of Equestria, Lord Tirek, has escaped from his imprisonment from Tartarus and has begun stealing magic from our ponies. And to make the matters even worse, Discord has joined him in this vile task. Latest reports tell of him being capable of taking the magic from all three pony tribes, and I fear he is most likely coming after alicorn magic next." Princess explained, starting to sound a little bit desperate.
"And what exactly does this has to do with me?" marilith inquired, with raised brow accompanied with a head tilt.
"I have reason to believe, that Tirek might try to sway you to his side for some reason, maybe trying to gather allies for some purpose."
"And why would I join forces with anyone without a valid reason? Who is this Tirek anyway, and what does he even looks like? You forgot to tell that."
"He is a centaur from a distant land. And as for his appearance; he possesses red skin, white hair, dark fur, black horns, and cloven hooves. At least last time I saw him."
"Hmmm... Sounds familiar... Ah yes, he and his brother I think came to Tanah kahijian before the town was even named properly. They tried to attack and I was there to fight back, giving them a couple of slams from my tail and a shocking 'love tap' from my blades. That was luckily enough to make them leave... Sooo, after that, what makes you think I might ally with him? And where did you even got such an idea?"
"... I saw it in a vision, warning me of his return. And it seemed to include you in it as well with him in a non-aggressive manner."
"... That's it? Just saw it in a vision? And you're sure it wasn't something you ate?"
"Yes. It is not the first time when a vision warns me of something. But back to the main reason I requested you here... I am asking for your help in defeating and hopefully re-imprisoning Lord Tirek. Will you aid us?" Celestia asked from Naja, even giving her a humble bow, hoping for the best...
"...No." was Naja's simple answer, still keeping her arms folded.
"Wait, what??? But-" Celestia started clearly surprised, only to be interrupted by a raised hand from Naja.
"Now let me explain this a bit. First; this sounds A LOT like your problem from the past, that has come back to bite you. Second; as cruel as this might sound, I have nothing to do with this whole situation. Third; You have no official authority over me, due to me not being a pony or a citizen of Equestria, thus I have liberty to decline your request. And Fourth; I don't fully trust you yet. I may have forgiven you, but fully honest trust is still an issue, due to your fresh 'probation period'." Naja listed her reasons to a little aghast looking Princess.
"Oh, and fifth; You know from experience just what will be awaiting to defend Tanah kahijian and Southpost, besides me and my friends among the locals there, if he even decides to go there..." she added in a more serious tone.
Celestia clearly had no counter for that ready, with her going silent looking at the floor, obviously remembering the gargantuan magical machine, that leveled a mountain with a warning-shot. After waiting for a couple of minutes for an answer, Naja decided that it was time for her to leave.
"Now if there is not anything else to speak about, I'll return to you nephews home to wait for our ride home to get fixed, which should be soon-ish. Farewell. Good luck with solving this crisis." marilith said while turning to leave.
"I am sorry for this..." Celestia half-whispered, while lighting her horn like she was activating something. That something was a hidden magic-circle on the throne room floor, which had started to glow brightly.
"What in the name of Lakshmi's bo-!!" Naja called out, before her vision suddenly went dark...
Canterlot dungeons...
"...Whuh?... What in the hell happened?" Naja asked aloud when she finally gained her consciousness back.
"A powerful stun-spell, with a teleportation charm added to it in a maximum-sized amplifying circle I managed in a relative short notice." came Celestias voice nearby in front of Naja.
It took marilith a short moment to get her eyes open and hair out of their way, only to notice that she was chained up rather thoroughly, from her neck and arms to the tip of her tail. And to make the whole situation worse, the whole cell and even the chains felt extra cold.
"All right Celestia. Can you perhaps explain to me, just what in the seven hell's are you thinking?!"
"I'm sorry, but I simply cannot take the risk. The whole nation is at stake, and the vision-"
"Starts to sound more like a huge pile of bull! What exactly did you even saw me doing in that vision of yours!?"
"You where holding hands with Tirek, with rings on both of your ring fingers, all right!" Celestia snapped at Najas aggressive question.
"... Wait... That's it? Just our hands holding one another with a piece of jewelry on them?? And that's good enough for you to lock me up in some extra cold cell?! Do you have ANY idea how IDIOTIC that sounds??? If my hands where free, I would slap your mug six times... With each hand!"
"I do what I must as the Princess of Equestria to protect my ponies. Surely you would do something similar to protect the townsfolk of the two free towns of south?"
"In an extremely dire situation, yes. But I am NOT their ruler. Just a respected older individual who just happened to live there when they decided to settle there to get away from your precious ponies ancestors. And especially far away from your dear ol' daddy's supporters. Maybe even... From you..." Naja shot back at the Sun princess, her words gaining a little bit of a venomous tone, while trying to fight off her growing instinct to hibernate, due to cold in the cell starting to affect her.
"Don't worry, I will release you after Tirek has been re-imprisoned. I promise." Celestia tried to mediate the situation, while managing to hide her hurt expression behind her much practiced royal mask and starting to leave the cell.
"Celestia, I swear if you walk out and frigging leave me here to hibernate for longer than five minutes, I WILL burn your glorified arse-warmer of a chair into a pile molten slag and throw it-" The rest of Naja's words where cut off by the large armored cell-door closing behind Celestia.
"Do not allow anypony else but me to open this cell." Celestia ordered two heavily armed guards, who took their positions next to the door. With that unpleasant deed done, Celestia teleported back to the throne room to wait her sister, Cadance and Twilight to tell them her plan of hiding the alicorn magic from Tirek. All the while telling herself that what she just did was necessary... And having hard time believing it herself... And not noticing a tiny yellow eye with a red pupil peeking from the roof.
Canterlot dungeons, unspecified time later...
"Hey, Spear Runner?"
"Yeah, what Spiked Shield?"
"Do you ever wonder why we're here?"
"Following orders, and that joke is rather old."
"Oh, I think it still has some merit to it..." said a third voice, followed by both guards being frozen by someones magic, who turned out to be the Chaos spirit Discord, wearing a golden medallion around his neck.
"And now you're getting your magic taken by my buddy Tirek, who has some business here."
The guards could not do anything as the dreaded centaur arrived around the corner and proceeded to take their magic with no issues, leaving them in a severely weakened state on the floor.
"This is the cell where they're keeping her?" centaur half-demanded, pointing at the armored door.
"Yes sir. I saw her royal sunshine teleport her snakyness here with my own back-up-eye." Discord boasted, while picking up the said eye from the roof and put it back in his head, like some kind of odd contact lens.
Tirek merely grunted, and started to tear the door off its hinges, crushing it like it was made out of wet cardboard.
In the cell he saw a familiar figure of the six armed serpentine beautiful being, who had driven him and his traitorous brother away from a village long ago, even leaving some fur covered scars on both of them, just hanging in there asleep, bound in multitude of chains smelling of ice magic alongside the whole cell.
With a small targeted magic absorb, the chains and cell lost their coldness, followed by a careful telekinetic pull to break all the chains all at once, causing the serpent maiden to fall down on her side, still unconscious.
"Looks like shes still a bit frosty. Well a little warm up should help." Discord commented, while pulling out a hair dryer and started to thaw the little frost off from marilith, who did not react.
"Huh. Still sleepy it seems." draconequus said, before floating a bit closer and tried to boop snake lady's nose... Only to get interrupted by one of her hands snapping around his neck, causing an audible squeaky toy sound, while her eyes snapped open.
"Don't... Touch me...Discord..."
"O...K... Phleez... Need air..."
Now awakened Naja started to get up in a standing position, still holding gagging Discord, shaking some of the fresh moisture off from herself, hair flipping around a little bit. A sight that Tirek seemed look intently for some reason.
"Oh, you must be Tirek. doesn't seem like you haven't changed in looks that much." Naja said nonchalantly, while looking the centaur over in some kind of a critical eye, soon even putting two of her hands on his chest as if looking for something.
"Ah, the fur is just covering the spot where my blades gave you a shocker."
"Y-yes, it is. Mind letting go of Discord? I'd like to have a word with you somewhere more appropriate than a cold dungeon."
"Sure I guess. But try and make a wrong move upon my body and you will lose something..." Naja said while letting go of Discord, and lightly slamming her tail on the ground as if to emphasize her point.
"Very well. Discord? Mind taking us back to the throne room?"
"*cough* Sure thing."
And with a snap of discords fingers, all three of them where back at the throne room, now with several glass paintings switched up and one looking like it had just recently cooled off from being melted.
"Now then-" Tirek began.
"Hold on a moment. Just have to keep a little promise to the Sunbutt." Naja interrupted, turning to face Celestias golden throne, took a moment to look at it while lighting up a set of flames upon her palms... And shot six streams of concentrated fire at the fancy chair, which soon began to melt on its pedestal.
Not even waiting now molten slag to cool off on it own, marilith slithered closer, while summoning two of her blades, now coated in frozen air around them, and pressed them on the slag, rapidly cooling it. Next she proceeded tp pick up the cooled off pile of slag.
"Which window is closest to the royal carriage?"
"That one..." Discord pointed one the windows, while taking few steps away from it. And soon marilith threw the piece of slag through it outside, where it by some luck landed right on top of Celestias personal carriage.
"Ok. Now, you were saying?" marilith asked, while positioning all her arms differently; on her waist, behind her back and folded beneath her chest.
"Y-yes. I don't know for sure what your alignment to Equestria is, but if one would have to guess, rather neutral at best. But I will give you my word, that the towns and their citizens under your protection will be kept away from my plans. And... There is one more personal thing to ask... In private." Tirek said, giving Discord a visible sideway glance. Chaos spirit did take the hint and went somewhere to mess with reality a bit.
"All right... Lady Naja. You have in a way haunted my thoughts ever since me and my brother stumbled upon your protectorate. And for some reason, those thoughts were more of an anchor to my sanity than my plans for revenge on Equestrian princesses ever where. So to put my intentions simply... Uuh... When I am done with my goal of gaining magic the princesses hid from me... I would wish for a chance to... Court you..." horned centaur started to explain, growing oddly bashful-like, in a 'manly-way', when reaching his question to marilith, whose only visible reactions where a raised brow and a teensy bit of blush on her cheeks.
"Oh... I was honestly not expecting that... Let me think a bit..." was the only thing Naja could say, before starting to think several things over considering Tirek's request.
For the next five or so minutes Naja stayed quiet, visibly thinking her answer, which started to make Tirek a little bit nervous. And he did not intend to tell her to hurry it up, due to him still remembering the short beating she had given to him his traitorous brother and was not looking for a second one.
"...Sure, I guess." Naja finally answered.
"W-what, really? I was almost certain you'd say no." Tirek said clearly confused, yet having a hopeful sounding undertone.
"Yes really. For a couple of reasons. Firstly, pretty much a long as I remember, I've been single, and it is getting rather lonely in an actual potentially intimate relationship department. Second, due to my size, overall body mass and looks, potential picks for a capable, and physically sturdy enough, partner are overall rather slim. And third, I happen to find the feel of fur covered muscular body enticing. A rather freshly discovered thing I might add." marilith explained her reasons.
"But remember... If you go back on your word and hurt my friends, close associates or try anything on me without my express consent, I will be most disappointed. Got it?" she added in a threatening tone, even taking Tirek's nose ring between her fingers, giving it a light pull for emphasis.
"Yes." Tirek said, clearly not wanting a bloody nose in a rather unpleasant way.
"Good. Now if you'd excuse me, I should go check on my friends ride home that is parked at Celestias nephew's manor at the moment. I hope you and Discord have not hit there, have you?"
"Well, we tried, but neither of us could not get close enough. Something there was letting off so much smog that even being close caused some serious gag-reaction on me, and even on Discord."
"That would be one of my friends there, who just happens to be a chain smoking sonuva griffin of the highest order."
"Then I shall leave you to that. But I would appreciate if you could come to the field at the base of the mountain later. It has something to do with my homelands cultural things, nothing else."
"Very well then. You go do your thing, I'll go do mine."
After giving each other a respectful bow, Naja started to head back to Blubloods manor, while Tirek left to find Discord and proceed to go to Ponyville. The streets of Canterlot where a bit on the empty side, most likely previously evacuated of most ponies. Naja was not completely sure, due to trip from castle to the manor being on overall short side.
It did not take her long to arrive back to the manor, where she could smell some of Cid's smokes to the streets.
"Hera! Cid! Bluey! I'm back!" Naja called out, which was followed an invisible barrier going down, with plenty of cig stench assaulting her face. Aside from the smell, she felt something tackle, or at least trying to, her front.
"Thank goodness Naja you're all right!" Hera cried out happily. Cid and Blueblood came out soon after that. Two of the trio had an odd barely visible air-bubble on their head. A spell most likely.
"What happened? You where away at the castle nearly a full day." Bluey asked.
"Well, your dear auntie had a vision of me holding hands with that centaur fellow who is going around with Discord, and decided to put me on ice in some cell, after I said no to her request of me helping her deal with the situation. And I did tell her my reasons to it."
"..."
"..."
"...Wow... What that old bag of arse-fat has been smoking to see and decide something like that, and where I can find it, and burn it all to the ground?" Cid commented, before taking a long drag of his cig.
"That sounds like a rather extreme measure for saying no, despite the current situation. Even for my aunt... What did she do after that?" Bluey continued to ask.
"She just left me there to hibernate, promising to release me after Tirek has been re-imprisoned. Who knows if she was ever planning on actually keeping it, or maybe just sneakily transferring me to somewhere else and forget I exist for a thousand years and have some rag-tag group to try and fix her mess-up." Naja said, leaving the unicorn and the hippogriff momentarily speechless.
"How is the ship doing Cid?"
"Well, its ready to fly, but I might have to make a short flight first to make sure its pipes are working. Safety and stuff."
"Understandable. Now there is something else too I have to tell... Apparently Tirek is interested in me, considering he asked for a chance to court me. And I decided to at least give him A chance and see where it goes from there. Also he gave me his word to leave our towns in peace."
"...Wow. That is interesting... But I personally have nothing to judge you on that choice, due to me being on the interspecies relationship myself. Let's just hope others are as understanding." Bluey said with a slight nod.
"Well, even though he did try to take magic from our home in the past, I'm not going to stop you from reaching potential happiness with someone of your size-category. Past is past and now is now, or something like that I think." Hera commented.
"Thanks Hera and Bluey. What about you Cid? Any smartass comment?"
"...I don't know. If you wanna try and get some centaur dingaling in your snake hole, go for it, I ain't some overpaid couples therapist... So are we taking the safety-test flight or what?"
"Sure. I was asked to wait for something at the field at the base of the mountain by Tirek. He said something about some cultural thing. Think you can drop me there during the flight?"
"...Sure."
Later almost 400 feet above the field at the base of the Canterhorn mountain...
"F*CK YOU CIIID!!!!!!!!!!"
Aboard the airship 'Levea Kuljetus'/'The Flying Brick'
"Cid... I don't think she meant it literally when she asked you to drop her at the field."
"Hey Hera, she said 'drop me there during the flight', so I drop her during the flight. End of story."
"Well let's hope she is not angry at you for long, or you might lose some tailfeathers to her flames. So Bluey, enjoying the view?"
"Actually yes. This thing flies surprisingly smoothly compared to Equestrian airships. And looks like lady Naja has landed safely. Hmh? I wonder what that hand-gesture with middle-finger pointed up means? And why is she doing it with all of her hands?"
"Oh, princy boy. I'm gonna enlighten you a bit about the 'rude-gestures'..."
Field at the at the base of the Canterhorn mountain...
"There, that should be enough flipping the bird at that smoking bird." Naja muttered, while healing herself a bit in case of potential injuries.
"Well, guess I now just wait here. I really need some calming meditating now."
With that decision, Naja took a comfortable coiled position, and proceeded to shut out her surroundings and concentrated on her own breathing. Soon she started to calm down, continuing to shut out almost all outside distractions. Which even included loud booms of an epic magical battle with a certain centaur and a certain overclocked purple alicorn at a distance. And she did not even reach her zen-phase.
Some time later her meditating was brought to an end by a polite sounding cough. Opening her eye's, Naja saw Tirek standing in front of her, maybe a head taller than her now, keeping a polite distance from the marilith.
"Hello again Tirek. You got a bit bigger I see." Naja said, while rising up from her coiled position to be on the face level with the centaur.
"So, may I ask what's this cultural thing you mentioned earlier?"
"Yes that. There is a small tradition back home of giving a specially made wristband to someone, when they have given their permission of being courted." Tirek started explaining, during which he conjured up two simple metallic wristbands, with intricate carvings and a couple of decorative holes on them.
"The tradition also requires the asker to wear one as well, as a symbol of sorts." he continued while offering one of the bands to Naja, who accepted it, and after checking it a bit, proceeded to put it on one of her wrists.
"They do look nice. And these are worn for the duration of the courting?"
"Yes. The only magics in them are for the communicating if needed and fitting on wearer without being too loose or too tight." Tirek said while putting his band on.
"Good to know. Hmmm... I guess this deserves you a bit of physical contact." Naja commented, before proceeding to approach the centaur at a slow pace, confusing him a little. This confusion in turn allowed marilith to envelop him in a tender six-armed hug. And he found himself unable to resist it. He actually seemed to enjoy it.
Unfortunately the moment was broken by loud magic noises and bright light, which drew their attention, while ending the embrace.
Right there floating in the air in a colorful orb of light and rainbow stuff where Twilight and her friends, looking like they had some kind of magical-female power-up going on.
"How is this possible?! You have no magic!" Tirek called out, while taking position between Naja and the six ponies.
"You're wrong, Tirek! I may have given you my Alicorn magic, but I carry within me the most powerful magic of all!" Twilight called back, just before the swirling magic's around her and her friends began glow even brighter, before sending a beam of rainbows towards the centaur and marilith.
Before the beam could hit them, Tirek went to grab Najas tail, maybe at its halfway point, and managed to lift all of her coils up off the ground, surprising her with such physical strength. Naja had no time to react much when Tirek proceeded to throw her out of the rainbow beams way.
While flying through the air, Naja rolled up in some manner of a coiled ball out of instinct, which in turn softened her eventual fall to the ground.
By the time she opened up from her rolled up state, she noticed that Tirek was gone. And Twilight and her friends had started glow really brightly, almost blindingly bright. Followed by a huge magical shock wave, that ended up knocking Naja back quite a bit, making her hit her head on something hard.
And her world went black...
"Owww, my head..."
"Hey Spiked Shield. I think she's coming to."
"Yes Spear, I did hear her too."
Finally getting her eyes open, Naja saw rather familiar dungeon stone walls around her, only this time she was chained up even more, practically covered in chains. Only good thing was the absence of icy coldness in chains.
"Oh come on, seriously?!"
"Unfortunately yes. You should receive a visitor soon, if she hasn't started singing on her way here."
Huh, I wonder if that affected his vulnerability to Harmony?
honesty at this point she should declare war on equestria or at least forbid any equstrian from coming near her town
This description is filled with typos.
How in Gods name did this get featured?
10230210
Fixed typos that I could find (, english is not my first language) and as for the featured thing, your guess is good as mine.
Whelp time to go to war with Equestria
I feel that the next materia will be the big red for : THE WAR .
So... celestia pretty much declared war... I wonder how many mountains are gonna crumble! And if naja will be able to meditate in the dungeon? Maybe she'll get an extremely powerful red one?
Celestia always seems to fuck everythinmg up over superstition with little evidence at first and then jumps to conclusions later
Well. You can say bye to that which you hold dear Tirek. You kinda just blew your chance at a date
10230117
Except Blueblood, he's cool in this one.
10230350
yeah give him the throne
10230210
I think that its because of an interesting story plot as well as being one of the few stories where no one is trying to sniff Sun Buts flank.
Its been featured because, on premise alone I believe it deserves it.
If other Authors want to be featured, they need to stop copy pasting stories and come up with something new. Honestly, do we really need 1600 stories that all begin "Woke up in the ever free and instantly attacked by ____________, which is easily defeated, then ponies all scream "Monster" which gets Dashes attention, so she attacks OC for no apparent reason, then plot continues just like the other 1600 stories exactly like it."
Although I do have to admit its better than the stories from three years ago when every Author on the site lost their minds and overused the word "Chuckled" in every single story that was written during that period.
My point is that while not perfect, this story is still way better than many other stories on this site.
The Monk
“Hundreds of years,” Reflection muttered, enjoying the scratching. “That’s a lot of porn.” - Dropbear
This chapter is interesting. While the english is bad, it really doesn't distract from my enjoyment of the story. On some stories, the writing is just so bad that you just can't get past it to enjoy the story. I don't get that here with your writing. You really should consider hitting the writers forum here and asking for an editor. Im sure someone can help polish this a bit.
I love how you don't have Naja kissing Sun Buts flank. Although I really do think that you have her far too calm, considering just how badly she has been repeatedly treated by Sun Flanks and her sister. Also, I can't see someone walking into the den of a liar and back stabber without a few tricks up their sleeve. Even an 8 year old could see that walking into Sun Flanks castle was asking for a knife in the back.
Good story and Im looking forward to more.
The Monk
"Knowledge is power and power corrupts, so study hard and be evil." - Reykan
She can so easily get out of this one, she can just say she was playing along to get close enough to Tirek to stab him thanks to the vision Celestia had, which would confirm the possibility to kill him. Now she can be pissed that he was banished and not killed thus ruining her “plan” to be done with him once and for all!
I'm kinda hoping that naja breaks free/gets broken free and interrupts a really important diplomatic meeting between the world leaders to demand an explanation as to why celestia imprisoned her and threatens war! Because if she does this then equestria will lose a lot of face and I would imagine they would lose a few of allies...
Other then some pacing issues in the middle I loved it
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Or summoning matira
Celestia just want a war, I mean, even she can't be that stupid, she managed to get peace with Naja, and throw everything to trash without asking her fellow princesses.
Too bad the need to wait until July for next chapter
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I don't know what you're trying to say, but Tirek saved Naja from the judgement of the so-called 'harmony' that keeps the natural order of the world shackled and brought to heel beneath Equestrian hooves.
Was Carbuncle the fox spirit from Hermes materia? I forgot.
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What do you mean? That was pretty impressive case of desperation strength (AKA hysterical strength for some reason), lifting potential girlfriend and throwing her from out of the harms way. Pretty heroic for most people
Shouldn't more free time have opposite result? Where did the boredom come from? I am drowning in things to read here
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Thanks. I try to improve, which is semi-hard due to english not being my first-language(, which is finnish, so quite a difference between the two). And I guess I could try to look into some forums.
And as for Naja's calmness and heading to SunButts "den", Its somewhat of a side-effect of her meditation-life from her time alone in the jungle and her "forgive but not forget" attitude combined with a "three-strikes" system, and actually wanting to give Celestia a chance of earning/keeping earned trust. More in the future chapter...
Oh just Celestia picking a fight with another nation
That mare dosen't learn does she
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Kinda hard to date her if he’s locked in Tartarus don’t ya think? As for losing what he hold dear? Wouldn’t you hold your new fiancé dear?
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She just had too much time being the sole ruler with secrets and stuff, and "Visions NEVER LIE..."
It seems old habits really die hard. And she had so many reminders to not "f*ck up" recently. Were they actually for just that particular day?
And strange how no one commented about how Naja "called it" about discord switching sides. Although in your version of the story I feel Tirek had reason to be kinder to Spirit of Chaos, being able to bond over having a crush on someone. Did he still betray him? Shame.
Lot of people seem to demand war in the comments but I won't. What happened was to be expected at this point. What we should do is mention Luna what happened and convince that her sister has gone senile while she was on her... "extended vacation" at the moon. Migth be easier done than said to be honest given how spitefull and delusional Celly was already way back then.
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Yes, yes it was.
That's what I thought. Until the certain lack of routine of going to work and lack of seeing buddies outside of the house started to gnaw at inspiration to write and caused a level of boredom.
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Except, someone should tell her about self fulfilling prophecies... I wonder how the other princesses will react when they discover what Celestia did
Naja if I was you blow up ponyville as a warning and move on from there.
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Luna and Cadance won't be happy when they find out
Great chapter, I especially enjoyed how well you managed to write the curves and interception between events and let them blend with another, without feeling forced. Celestia's speech with Naja will be something I do not want to miss.
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who is going to add this in the personal list of Celestia top 10 f * ck up
because I know that I am
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Top 10 or Top 100?
Singing? Chrysalis? Cadence? Are the guards maybe changelings or are we staying on Celestia stupid-pill path? XD
OH yeah foreshadowing, that pony magic uses fucked up ponies view point of what natural weather is like or other natural stuff.
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Why July?
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Check the date of the last 3 chapters and you will see there is a difference of two months between each chapter
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It doesn't start out like that, but it later publishings do have that pattern.
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The price if quality
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true
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If that's what you were referring to, you should have quoted something about Tirek continuing to steal magic after proposing to Naja, instead. I'm pretty sure Tirek proved the sincerity of his proposal when he spared her from the fate of joining him in hell.
I hope to god that Naja is not going to just forgive Celestia like she did last time...
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Hell in the top 1000 maybe
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Well she was giving a chance for Celestia to earn her trust, but I guess Celestia flushed the option down in the toilet at this point
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This is why you don't rely on Mystic Visions & Prophecies. Most of the time, you end up causing what was foretold. Prime example: Celestia imprisoned Naja (again) because of a fear she had after seeing a vision of her standing next to Tirek. Meanwhile, Naja was willing to leave the entire situation alone and was planning on returning to Tanah kahijian without intentionally running into Tirek.
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Lets not forget that the vision was of a HAPPALY MARRIED COUPLE!! Fuking hell...
I say this with zero humorous intent but Celestia...she done f*cked up.
Because of this story I'm playing a marilith in a d&d campaign.
Loving this story
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Lucky you. Happy to inspire such.
I hope Discord actually gets properly punished somehow this time around. I'm sorry but the only thing good about him is that he's voiced by John de Lancie and I'm sick of seeing him get a free pass just because of that fact despite all the s**t he does. The character has proven time and time again that he doesn't care what happens to others even if he's the cause so long as it doesn't effect him (the few friends he has count towards that) and puts a whole new level to schaudenfraude.
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DM said i could use any race and class from d&d homebrew wiki.... so i did XD
much fun is being had and naja is the inspiration :D
also naja is awesome
I have the most distinct feeling that the ponies have just screwed up big time.