- Member Since 23rd Dec, 2013
- offline last seen Sep 17th, 2023
FoxWithAMask
English geek, yep, that's me. I just want to spead joy with my stories and make people smileand I'm only just realising how cheesy this sounds. Meh.
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Yes.
I really like the concept.
Let's hope the chapters aren't simply him dying over and over again, shall we?
Suggestion: try to... decrease the swearing to less than a quarter of a chapter.
All in all, I enjoyed it.
Readers POV total death count: 14
So he is like The Nameless One from Planescape Torment, everytime he dies he simply wakes up again, that is an interesting concept for a HiE
HAHA, he keeps on dying. Must be he's lucky day....
8614094
And this is only the start of it.
8614341
Oh I know, just image what would the ponies think about it.
Ponies of Ponyville: What in the buck is that?!!
Human:hello
Ponies of Ponyville: Kill it, burn it with with fire!!!
Human:What?
Human: *Impaled by spears and hacked with swords.....and set on fire for good measure*
*Respawns*
Human: WHAT IN THE SHIT FACE!! *Dies again*
Will all the chapters just be him dying again and again?
8616402
No, there will be a plot to this.
XD this concept is exactly like the fic The Many Deaths of Rainbow Dash https://www.fimfiction.net/story/68479/the-many-deaths-of-rainbow-dash , a very good fic by the way, so the idea is unique but not new, at least the cursed one is a human this time XD.
I do think this is the first original idea I've seen in awhile.
How much yes do you want because I can give you all of it
Wow. I guess even people who can’t fight would win eventually if they just kept respawning. XD This is great.
What if he was depressed?
"I want to die, but I can't."
"Why?"
"I can't die."
8627750
that sounds like a conundrum
8627760
It'll just be an endless cycle of suicides.
8627776
well at least he doesnt have to fear going hollow
8627777
Yeah, that's true.
8627779
8627760
Although what happens when he dies of old age? Dies of heart failure, respawns, instantly dies again. Who's going to clean up all those bodies for the rest of eternity?
8627812
I'd hate to be the janitor.
8627812
thats easy have a never ending bonfire
XD this is great.
Okay, I have an issue here!
You didn't leave a kill count!
You should end every chapter with a kill count totalling both the number of deaths in the respective chapter AND the fic total!
8627906
Huh. I thought I'd already done that. Anyway, it should be there now.
8627921
Shweet.
MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Loving this.
8627750
You reminded me of this:
Ha
Who will hit 200 first? The body count or the story’s thumbs up?
Wait you forgot how he broke his neck on the stairs
ALSO!!! Celestia there's something called MANNERS dammit. Take yo head out yo ass and learn some EMPATHY. And SYMPATHY. Not everyone's an immortal alicorn like you!
8645367
Thanks, I forgot about that one. It should be fixed now.
Glad he can't die
Ponyville is.... well, it's Ponyville. What did you expect?
8645360
If it hits 50k words before 200 deaths, I'll be surprised.
Grammar and spelling could use a little more work, bit lovely none the less.
Nice story! I like your innovative thinking.
If the main OCs in this story were voiced, what would they sound like?
8645556
A younger Tom Hiddleston.
Hmm I think the body count is about to jump up a bit
I want more!!!!!
Oh this story is a treat...
8645948
But will they count if he has to kill his own ressurected bodies? I can see necromancy making thing interesting.
... I love Luna in this.
She respects him for his defiance.
I hope he comes to respect her before he does Celestia.
Loving this!
This chapter was... Really kinda annoying for me, actually.
Leon just seems like a jerk in this chapter, the princesses don't seem to understand basic decency. I can excuse the Royal Guard's incompetency. The whole thing of paying Leon that much to deal with sombra seems stupid. Just go with the plan you'd have gone with if he wasn't there. If he doesn't want to be reasonable, go with plan B - Get Twilight to do it. Not to mention the fact that Leon is obviously disinterested in helping - Who's to say he won't just abandon the mission or switch sides? I wouldn't trust him, I'd have him arrested or at least detained.
You're kinda just shoving him along in the plot, not actually giving him any real reason to be part of it. He's not really invested in these ponies. If he doesn't have any loyalty to them, he should have just said "Nah, fuck that," and went back to Ponyville. No need to spend his time and effort dealing with Equestria's problems if he doesn't have any loyalty to equestria or it's princesses. Maybe then have him go with Twilight when Twilight inevitably gets sent to the Crystal Empire.
Leon also doesn't understand that even though the princesses might not be his ruler, he's still residing in their country. He's still bound by their rules and laws. It works the same way "back home." He should know that. They should've dealt with him like they would a pony who did the same actions. He may be able to respawn, but if you deal with him nonlethally he can't do much about it.
8646618
Okay, you make some good points here. Let me address this. To your first point, yes, I admit Leon was a dick to Celestia and Luna. But from his point of view he'd been essentially kidnapped and was being forced into a situation that he honestly wanted no part of. Could he have handled it better? Yes, of course, but he has his problems, including issues with authority, and the fact that Celestia was acting like he'd already agreed to everything angered him.
Your other point about paying him being stupid is...not exactly wrong, but if you have two people, one not able to stay dead and the other readily able to die, which would you send first? Also that amount of money is nothing to Celestia. Money isn't his only reason for going, he may have been angry with Celestia but at the end of the day he is a decent human being.
Also, yes, he is living in their country, but as for "dealing with him the same as any other pony". What exactly did he do? He was extremely rude, yes. But otherwise all he did was speak his mind and demand that he be paid for any services he did. Celestia wanted to have him risk his life (yes, he can't stay dead, but he still dies) for nothing but basically getting a public thank you.
I hope this explains his actions and doesn't sound like I'm being snappish and nasty.
8646661
I can accept that. It just seemed a bit off-putting to me, and maybe a bit rushed. But, you can't please everyone all the time. I'll still be reading and enjoying this story.
Keep up the good work.
8647541
Nobody's perfect.
Needs comedy tag.
I like where this is going.