Epilogue
"You know, girls," Twilight said, taking a contemplative bite of one of Pinkie Pie's grass-cakes, "I can honestly say this is the most authentic Hearth's Warming I've ever had."
"You said it," Starlight agreed, glancing around the desolate snowy hills, then back down at the improbable little circle of grass surrounding the hot spring. "Just our new little community, and the friendship and unity of the holiday. No distractions. No possessions. No walls. And most importantly —"
"No presents," the other seven chorused.
"Yeah, uh, heh heh," Starlight said, then coughed and changed the subject. "Though location's important too. I mean, earth pony magic only goes so far when the ground for leagues in every direction is frozen solid."
"S-s-speaking of which," Spike said, teeth chattering, "s-s-so c-c-cold."
Rarity smiled and walked over to the baby dragon, leaning against him until his shivers subsided. "Personally, darling, I find this strangely liberating," she said. "For the first time since exiting my dam's womb, I am free of clothing, accessories, and the means to make them. I have serious doubts that I could continue such an existence indefinitely —" she gestured with a shudder toward their increasingly mud-smeared communal sleeping circle — "but I am also quite confident that I have no need to entertain such questions until after the Hearth's Warming season has expired."
Fluttershy sighed. "I'm just sorry I had to ruin it by bringing this old thing in."
"Ain't your fault," Applejack said firmly.
"Yeah!" Pinkie bounded over and hugged her, being careful not to jostle the forelegs where Fluttershy was still clinging to the cider mug. "No revolution can free itself entirely of the bonds of the old order," she intoned, then giggled. "But I'm sure we'll hear back from Princess Celestia any week now!"
"You know, Glimmy," Rainbow Dash said, stretching in the last rays of the winter sun as Applejack lowered her muzzle to return to grazing at their grass patch. "I gotta admit, with what happened to the last type of government you introduced us to, I had my doubts about this colony. But your … um … archy-princessism —"
"Anarcho-primitivism," Twilight corrected, sighing happily as she sank a little deeper into the steaming water.
"Yeah, that," Dash said. "In the right context it's pretty cool."
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I traditionally reserve first comment for author's notes. If I write up that retrospective over in Writeoff-land, I'll link it in here.
The epilogue primarily exists to meet the Writeoff prompt. I felt like the story ended a little stronger without it, but I wasn't quite willing to commit to deletion — so I moved it into a "bonus chapter", if you will.
Archy-princessism anarcho-primitivism!
...what kind of world is it where I wound up with the less destructive version?
Glorious madness through and through, especially the fantastic representation of what it is to be Pinkie Pie. It makes me tremendously glad that back when I was in retail, I started in January and quit in August.
Though I will say that I prefer Courier Nova as a name for maddened, literacy-themed Twilight.
In any case, thank you for this. I really do need to get back in the Writeoffs at some point.
I see a red door. . . .
8603856 Obviously...
I'm surprised Discord wasn't mentioned laughing his ass off somewhere.
Cool they all got punished for their exceedingly stupid idea
Since no one posted this video yet:
Why can't I like it twice?
That feel when you’ve been wanting to do a story based on a song and someone beats you to it, even if it’s just by using the song name as a title
feelsbadman.jpeg
8603879
That would work well for Muffins..
And I almost stopped breathing towards the end of the last chapter.
8603879
Funny thing, actually: I wrote that Pinkie Pie scene specifically thinking of you. (I got several complaints about it over in Writeoff-land. More fool them.) So I'm chuffed that you enjoyed the FOMEservice!
8604202
Knew I was missing something!
8604924
True story: When I wrote my Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock homage "Melt", I didn't know that Ambion had already written one of the site's most highly-rated stories under the same name.
Mine didn't get nearly that amount of attention, of course. But it ended up a while later with a Seattle's Angels feature, and it remains close to my heart. The moral of the story is: Don't let this one be a headwind! It'll be cool to see what you come up with.
8603856
I think the moral of the story is: Once horizon murders a poor innocent coffeepot, it only goes downhill from there.
8604990
None of that, now! I want you around for my next story!
8605088
LOL Yes, I can just see Discord making that face
Black Friday...also known as HELL
The Onion somehow made Black Friday...funny...in a morbid sense.
(P.S. They put this out EVERY Black Friday; since 2012 anyways)
The Onion...Black Friday
WARNING: Link contains descriptions of violence and death (please keep in mind that this is satire)
And so another chapter is added to the "Twilight Ruins Everything She Touches" anthology.
8605827 South Park's "Red Robin Wedding" was hilarious.
cdn-static.denofgeek.com/sites/denofgeek/files/styles/article_width/public/2016/08/south_park_black_friday.jpg?itok=2bYzkIp9
Hee hee, so much blood!
8605935
Ah yes...that was a PERFECT representation
8608681
And Pinkie, Discord, and Cheese Sandwich would have been involved in causing it, somehow.
(I think that the Great Molasses Flood has to be one of everyone's favorite silly (but actually pretty bad) historical events.)
8608790
Don't forget the Emu War. XD
8608790 8608928
My favorite Earth history AU is the one in which the Great Molasses Flood was an event in the Emu War.
Many brave emus died that day…
Twilight accidentally invented the worst day in existence. Funny that she never turned into Midnight.
Those types of people talking to one of their country's leaders and national hero... nothing describes how doomed they are.
8605935
[1000 yard stare] Never forget... Sales... Sales never changes...
8609294
:O Even better .... we need a fanfic where the Great Molasses Flood happened during the Emu War in Equestria
8610905
The emus knew what to sabotage to most harm the very fabric of Equestria: the baked goods and sweets industries. D:
8610905 8611152
Well, the emus had collaborators…
8612281
What a turkey :D
Oh so hilarious and horrifying
Nicely done!
8642895
Thanks!
It's good, also, thanks I hate it (epilogue is nice tho).
9950378
Thanks for reading!
"Thanks I hate it" is probably just about the sweet spot for this story.
8608928
I hate the "Emu War". It was literally just government dude getting a bunch of machinegunners. They were just culling the numbers of emus with machine guns.
Fun story =)