• Member Since 3rd Jul, 2017
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

Creativa-Artly01


I'm an MLP lover, artist, writer, ABBA fan, Disnerd, and Young Justicer. So yeah. I love everything cartoony. I'm also a Youtuber and Wattpadder.


T

Daybreaker and Nightmare Moon have taken over Equestria and the nation is in ruins. Ponies are starving. Unicorns are forced to entertain the rulers. Pegasi are forced to do aerial stunt shows on command for their entertainment as well. Everything is basically hell on earth. The only pony doing something about it is Twilight Sparkle. The only princess who has not yet been corrupted. She is destined to be Equestria's Savior. That much she knows to be true.

Chapters (13)
Comments ( 17 )

cell phone potion

Did you get that from the movie? Whatever its good! :rainbowlaugh:

8545204
Yes I got that from the movie since it was the best piece of comedy in the entire movie in my mind.

8545231
Is this a series of yours? Like more stories that explain these characters? I'm just wondering you know like how they look... call me a hypocrite because sometimes I can be vague at times.

8545256
I wasn't planning on making this a series. Why?

*shrugs*
The only thing I really like from this is the cover art.
And that's it.

8548311
Have you even given the rest of the book a chance?

8549193
Yes. And it still wasn't good.

8549429
Why don't you think it's good???

8550692
The writing is just sorta... Blah. Not enough zest... Just... Kinda... Flat I guess.

You need an editor and a pre-reader, sir. edit: Ma'am.
The chapters are ridiculously short, the plot itself seems interesting but it's moving far too fast to entertain. The emotions aren't clearly conveyed as one could expect and it's simplistically forced out and not sticking to anything or making any relatable connections.
You're telling what the characters are doing and saying but you're not showing through words what they're doing and how they're feeling.

The idea is interesting, it just needs more expansion on the detail.

8550845
I'm a Miss. Manners are important. Just a tip.

8551338
Again, nicknames and screens make it hard to tell the difference between a mister and a missus.
Also, I'm giving criticism, not rude manners.

8551832
I'm not mad at you about this I'm just telling you to be careful next time. My OC is clearly a female so that implies hat I am probably a female.

8551886
Most people who are male have female OCs.

8557884
Yes but mostly females have female OCs. I'm one of those where I'm a female with a female OC!

8557885
But no one would be able to know that unless you told them beforehand.

Login or register to comment