• Member Since 3rd Jul, 2017
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Creativa-Artly01


Epileptic-autistic eldest of four, artist, creative, and horse crazy girl who is obsessed with entertainment media and history among other things.

Sequels1

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Twilight Velvet tells Twilight, Shining, Cadence, and Flurry all about her time as the Disneigh Princess, Snow Veil (the pony equivalent of Snow White). The others listen on in curiosity. They are so excited to finally hear what Twilight Velvet did before she married Nightlight.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 7 )

This is fun idea for a story, but you really need to break up Velvet's reminiscences, and put them down into more manageable paragraphs. I enjoyed reading her recollections about working as Snow Veil, but the sheer size of the paragraphs made them into a wall of text that could put off other readers.

But still, I think this was a cute read, and I'm glad I found this story. Just needs a bit of polish, I think. :twilightsmile:

8750682
Thanks for the advice. I was trying to get the idea out before it left my mind, so I was speed typing and didn't think about spacing. I'll slow down next time. Thanks for the tip.

If this story gets to 10 likes, I will start early on the full-blown story of Velvet's life as a Disneigh Princess. Ok!!!

Okay... it's a good concept, but SHOW!!! DON'T TELL!!! Break it up into a collection of flashbacks.

8752367
If you read my current blog. This is a one-shot that goes before a more expansive story under the title Velvet's Time at Disneigh.

8752410
Ok. The full story will be started at 3:30 Saturday afternoon and the first chapter will be up by Sunday. Have a great Friday!

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