• Member Since 28th Oct, 2011
  • offline last seen 16 hours ago

KnightMysterio


I am the Storm Scribe. Let my words thunder across all creation! Let my imagination rain down and bring life to new worlds and adventures. Above all else, may you enjoy what meager gifts I bring...

T

A reboot of Waking Nightmares, taking the story in a different direction.

Celestia has been suffering from nightmares and her sister Luna cannot seem to stop them. Alongside this, the dreaded Queen Chrysalis has been caught and is finally standing trial, several world leaders attending to help decide her fate. On top of all this, nine ponies and a dragon have appeared, claiming to have been transformed and sent to Equestria by an insane wizard.

What else can go wrong?

Chapters (8)
Comments ( 160 )

I'm already enjoying this as much as the original!

is p gud

not going to bother comparing it to the original tho
theyre too different anyways

*bigge shrugge*

I'll keep reading

I'm sorry if this sounds or looks dickish, but I'd like to help you with your description and don't know how to phrase it any other way.

Current:

Celestia has been suffering from nightmares, and her sister Luna cannot seem to stop them. On top of things, the dreaded Queen Chrysalis and is finally standing trial, several world leaders attending to help decide her fate. On top of everything else, nine ponies and a dragon from another world have arrived, apparently sent there and transformed by an insane wizard.

Fixed:

Celestia has been suffering from nightmares and her sister Luna cannot seem to stop them. Alongside this, the dreaded Queen Chrysalis has been caught and is finally standing trial, several world leaders attending to help decide her fate. On top of all this, nine ponies and a dragon have appeared, claiming to have been transformed and sent to Equestria by an insane wizard.

It's obviously not 100% and needs rephrasing, but it's the best I can do :)

To be honest, it's better written than the beginning of the original, there was all sorts of "WTF is going on" feeling back then, and not exactly in a good way.

Also, regarding the title, is that, like, a Kingdom Hearts reference, or something else I'm not getting?

It's really nice to see that story as a whole is not dead. Keep going, sounds cool!

Not gonna lie, was expecting Pyro to be the dragon, this seems good too though

My only complaint is that there isn't more of it.

It's not even my birthday!

Though the 1,000 word chapter did kinda upset me. I missed it when it was 8-12k words long. :|

Oh well, I'm looking forward to this, mate~

JMP

Oh, Miss Pauling's in this now. Neat, I like her.

different from the original but still has the same fun.

This should be good.

Oh baby here we go

its just gonna get better and better

I will miss the original.

But I will give this a go. :)

I can already tell I'm going to like this. I see that miss Pauling is going to be joining this time around.:twilightsmile:

This is already starting off better than the first time around. And...Labrynna...

What nation is that, because there is an identically-named land in the Zelda series...

The Original was good, I'll give that you. It was like I saw my whole childhood/gaming life flashing in a story.

This however, i will give a try. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

8335020
The Minotaurs are lucky they never had to deal with Veran...

Anyways, this is a very interesting start, with poor Merasmus being just the first of ol' Slendy's many, many targets/victims.

8335183
......okay, now I'm REALLY intrigued...:rainbowderp:

Is it a Doctor Who antagonist? Cuz I admit I know next to nothing about what I hear is one of the most popular yet confusing shows ever...

so we got 10 highly trained killers and psychopaths in the magical land of Equestria when one of their worst enemies are standing trial:trixieshiftright:. anypony else think that od

8335558
Don't forget the Administrator. If Merasmus did to her what he did to them, she's probably somewhere in Equestria too.

8336260
holy Tartarus:derpyderp1: you are right and if I know the administration. she is now in the motion of forging deal whit the big bad

“...WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?” Miss Pauling screamed, her cry echoing into the night.

You're in a fanfic. And I'm EXCITED!

I like how this started up and I can't wait to see how adding Ms. Pauling and the Administrator will effect the story! The only thing I am confused about is why Scout is a changeling. I can understand why you had Spy just be a full changeling this time, but I guess I imagined Scout as either a pegasus or a griffin.

Anyway, I can't wait to see how this turns out. I was a big fan of the original Waking Nightmares and I believe you will give us good things in this rewrite!

8341777
Due to the official cannon of the tf2 comics, spy is scouts dad. So it would make sense for him to be like his father.

8342565
Oh, okay. That makes much more sense. I never read the comics, so that flew completely over my head. Thanks for the information!

8342958
No problem! The comics are pretty good in my opinion.

As an avid reader of the previous version, I have my full confidence in you.

YES, IT'S HERE! I haven't read it but I know it will be great!
EDIT: I see, so this is at least 2 years after season 7, maybe? Unlike the original where at first it took place during season 2 until you retconed it to be after season 3(which was clever, BTW). Now Miss Pauling is here and a Dragon and Scout's now a Changeling like Spy(is it because Scout's dad IS Spy?). The Administrator is dead and Poor Merasmus, I liked it when he was the ally of the RED team(are you still going to use 'RED and BLU are the same people')in the human world against Slenderman and Gray Mann(is this after the comics?). Good chapter, love the changes! A lot of ambassadors and delegates.

8359505

I see, so this is at least 2 years after season 7, maybe? 

AU with elements of all seasons.

is it because Scout's dad IS Spy?)

Yes. There's some character development I can do with that.

he Administrator is dead 

Administrator's not dead.

are you still going to use 'RED and BLU are the same people

Spoilers.

is this after the comics?

It's before the comics.

8335183
Slenderman/mane is not the villain here anymore?

8365250
I'm not dropping Slendy. I'm just doing something different.

the beginning is short sweet and to the point, cant wate to see spy try to woo twilight and fail epicly (at least I think he is going to do that) and miss pauling meet spike (that will be fun)

Okay... Considering the fact that this one has completely dropped the Comedy tag, and swapped out the Dark tag for Horror... I gotta ask. Does that mean this one is, on a whole, going to be much darker and more serious than the old one? And with less comedy to offset it?

8380871
As Long as Cheerilee's Garden doesn't ACTUALLY happen in this rewrite, I'm happy. It was narrowly avoided in the original, which is about the only reason I kept reading.

His chest seemed to have three dark blue crystals in them, his red eyes insect-like in nature. He also sported buglike wings and an odd tail which looked like another wing.

Right, New type Changeling then.

“Ten-thousand dollar customed-tailored Louis Crabbemarché suit, and now it has holes in the back...” he muttered.

Spy's freaking great.

“Yeah, about that. I'm not really likin' the implications of me and Creep Suzette here bein' the same species, so if we could just not focus on that point? At all? Ever?” Scout said.

Crepe Suzette. Unless that was a pun. In which case, never mind.

Engineer blushed. “Oh my word, darlin.' Y'done turned cute!” he said. “All your scars are gone, too!”

Pyro blinked. “Really?” they said.

This amuses me.

“I am a cuddly horsey! PYROLAND LIVES IN ME!!” They giggled, rolling around happily.

Equestria, technically but I believe it was called Ponyland in G1.

“...You didn't know?” Medic asked, genuinely surprised.

Not sure if you've noticed Medic, but Pyro's bodysuit is very androgynous.

“It was a stupid vote,” Sniper said, pacing back and forth. “Aliens...”

“Are real,” Miss Pauling interrupted. “The Administrator and I have been tracking the movements of an alien vessel for weeks that's been heading towards the Earth. Depending on how long we're here, we may miss first contact entirely.”

You're serious?

“...I would never do that,” Pyro said, looking a little sad. “I like you guys. You're my friends. We burn things together.”

Pyro is still one of my favorite characters. She's just as insane as the others, if not moreso in her own way, but she does like the others, and she's cute.

“PANICKING IS THE ONLY LOGICAL THING TO DO HERE!” Sniper almost roared. Spy and Miss Pauling winced, looking around worriedly, while the others seemed more amused by it. Sniper, so terrified was he, didn't realize that his flapping had taken him off the ground. “We are lost in a world of MAGIC, we have NO RESPAWN, we CAN'T HOLD OUR WEAPONS, and we DON'T KNOW HOW TO GET BACK!!”

“And now you're flying,” Engineer said.

You're just further proving his point.

“Oy'm Snoipah,” he said in a parody of Sniper's accent. “Oy'mma professional. Oy throw jars of piss at people and cry like a little boiby when magic does stuff Oy'm not prepared for.”

Your maturity is commendable.

“Maybe magic's common in all species?” Engineer suggested.

“Possibly,” Medic said. “Perhaps the wings are the focus for pegasi, while the horns are for unicorns like us.”

Smart man. Pony.

“Why? You were already a bug brain,” Soldier said, grinning,

Really Solly? Puns are meant to be my thing.

“A local lord?” Sniper said, thinking aloud.

Princess actually.

“Kill the incoming pegasus,” Miss Pauling ordered definitively.

Easy to forget that as funny as the mercs are, they're all cold blooded killers.

Engineer nodded. “You made two mistakes, Miss Pauling. The first one was not taking the terrain into account. A small town means that most folks will be familiar with the faces of their mail carriers. People will miss her if she's dead, where Spy could have just charmed her into leaving.”

He makes a good point.

“Because it's Soldier,” Demoman said. “I love the man like a brother but, well...” He chuckled sardonically.

He's an idiot?

“She bribed me with muffins,” Soldier said. The other mercenaries chuckled.

Muffins are great.

“Oh...” Derpy said. “Oh! Like the world Sunset Shimmer is from!”

Kinda, but with a lot more people getting filled with bullets, blown up, burned to death, beaten to death, stabbed, etc.

The mercenaries all brightened. “Well, that's one problem solved,” Scout said.

I doubt that.

“Drop dead, booze horse,” Scout muttered.

Oh how I've missed this.

“I object to the term 'mad,' though,” Medic said. “I'm really quite a happy person.”

“I like happy people,” Derpy said, smiling.

Well, Medic is usually quite happy. If, completely insane.

“This is Miss Pauling,” Demoman said. “She works for the supervillain who actually controls the two brothers. She specializes in covering up evidence and eliminating witnesses. She's a nice lass but probably more evil than all of us put together.”

Probably.

“Well, you're in love with me, so you're biased,”

Love does that.

“Ma'am,” Engineer said, “we don't know the culture, we don't know the local customs, we don't know the history, we don't even know how to hold things. ANY cover story we came up with would fall apart faster than the time RED Pyro destroyed Teufort that one time.”

Engie: Element Of Making A Good Point.

“We have a reformed leader of a cult that tried to suppress individuality by stealing cutie marks living in town. She also tried to destroy time itself one time, and now she's one of Princess Twilight Sparkle's personal aides,” Derpy said, smiling.

The mercenaries and Miss Pauling all stared at her.

“Also,” Derpy continued, “a god of chaos and mayhem occasionally visits to have tea. He's nice. He likes my eyes. Oh, and the changelings? They used to be a parasitic race that stole love from others to feed on before they reformed and learned how to feel love themselves.”

And said God of Chaos once drove the world, or at least the town, completely insane.

“Okay, so... one concern alleviated,” Miss Pauling said. “Compared to a god of chaos and a cult leader that wanted to... um... what are cutie marks?”

Essentially a physical representation of your special talent.

“Guys, I think I can still use my flamethrower,” Pyro said, holding the trigger end with her back hooves as she looked down the barrel. She managed to wedge a hoof in, only to accidentally trigger it, shooting a long burst of flame into her face.

Aside from a little soot, she was unharmed. “NOPE! Nevermind!” she said, giggling.

This is great. This is so much better than the OG Waking Nightmares.

Derpy giggled. “He's kinda dumb,” she said.

Yeah, but he's fiercely loyal and he's deadly with a rocket launcher and or shovel.

Scout shrugged. “We offer to help as extra security,” he said. “Big trial, big criminal, world leaders showing up... We ain't proven, but for an event like this I'd want every gun I could get.”

“...That makes sense,” Heavy said.

Scout may be young but he isn't dumb.

“On it,” Pyro said, her horn flaring. The Timber Wolf's wooden body ignited, becoming covered in flames.

It roared again, with more ferocity.

Fantastic, now it's a regenerating wolf who's on fire.

Before any of the mercenaries could react, a MASSIVE pegasus, so big she dwarfed even Heavy, slammed down in front of them. Her wings were massive, her body construction equipment yellow. She wore thick armor and a helmet that covered most of her face.

OK, that is a big pony.

The pegasus grunted. “I'm Barricade,” she said, she thundered. “Captain of Princess Twilight Sparkle's Friendship Guard. But you better believe that I'm not feeling friendly in the slightest bit right now. Somepony want to explain to me what in blazes just happened!?”

Ooh, Barricade! I remember you! Also, they were caught, tied up and blown up by a bomb that was supposed to send them to Hell by a psycho wizard with voices in his head.

Nice reference to the invasion update- and who knows, without Solder there first contact mightn’t even be peaceful.  

JMP

Hey, Barricade made into the rewrite! Loving everything so far.

8381265

Barricade's one of my favorite OCs. I wouldn't leave her out.

Liking the update so far, and despite losing the comedy tag there is still PLENTY of humor to be found.

I assume this time you'll be picking a baseline point in the show timeline and working from there rather than having new events in the show show up as hidden secrets from the past? Obviously we're somewhere in season 7 at a minimum. I would suggest having any new in-show events either play out in the background of the story or ignore them if they would derail the story entirely.

Remember, your story need not incorporate EVERYTHING new; especially if it causes more headaches than ignoring it because it doesn't fit. Your story need only be an approximation of the world at the time of first publishing, and need not keep pace with every change and development.

8381287
That's what I'm going for. I just want to the story to be a bit cleaner than it was.

8381267
Really enjoying the revamped story so far.
I really like that Twilight finally has a guard, I can picture a scene where someone remarks that after the third time some villain walked right in and endangered Equestria by either doing something to Twilight or the table, it was decided that guards where necessary......also a lock on the door.

Celestia shook her head. “Perhaps an outside force?” she suggested.

Well, considering Luna literally just said an outside force was blocking her, Celestia...

Is this a less serious version of the story?

“I object to the term 'mad,' though,” Medic said. “I'm really quite a happy person.”

Was that a Wolfenstein reference?

8382027
No. I am trying to avoid too many references this time.

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