JackRipper
Joined 21st Apr, 2015 ·
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I'm totally down for this, though I am a FlashLight fan. I'll upvote ya and track for now.
8151735
Thank you!
8151736 I just hope this doesn't end horribly though. I am worried about the Sad tag, but I'll wait and see. Oh, and you're welcome.
Not sure about it being in the first person, but this is a start. Looking forward to the banter between Twilight and Flash to come, following this.
8151740
The "tragedy" tag is reserved for bad endings, if that's any consolation.
8151743
Thank you!
8151748 Okay. I'm down for that. Sounds good to me!
Why is this getting downvoted? There's nothing bad here!
8151948
You're sweet.
He's an unpopular character that very few people like, so it's not surprising that many people will dislike it.
8151953 That's stupid. That means they didn't even try to read it.
8151972
Well, I won't hold it against them either way.
I don't write for the people that don't like the story anyway, I write for the people who appreciate and like my work. Or at the very least, give me a reason as to why it's bad.
8151977 That's good. Sorry for acting like that.
8151980
Not at all, I appreciate that you care.
More to come within the next week or two.
8151983 Sounds good to me.
I like the twist in Flash's personality
8152273
Thank you.
I thought altering his personality would make him more appealing to the public, shows what I know I guess.
Stay strong, Jack. Biased as I am for having edited this story, ponies need to give it a chance, rather than suffer from the down vote Flash Sentry on sight syndrome
Message me in you need me, also you forgot about the bar, eheh.
8152309
I included the line, the bar scene is later.
I appreciate the sentiment. I'm turning it in for the night though, sleeping on it so I don't make any rash decisions.
A good start so far, this seems to have good potential. Have a like, and I'll be following this story to read more. Can't wait for more goodness
8153149
Thank you, I was typing out the next chapter right now as a matter of fact.
8153151 Oooooo, excitement intensifies
Not bad, not bad at all. You have good prose, your style is simple but effective, and you paint the characters well. I like the backstory you gave for Flash, and the relationship between him and Shining. I am wondering how this story is going to pan out if it's all going to be from Shining's POV, though.
Also, I'm a shameless Flashlight shipper, so how could I not enjoy that?
I'll be keeping an eye on this one. I doubt that you will disappoint me.
8153675
My editor may disagree with you on that one.
It switches between first and third person perspectives from multiple pony's POVs.
Given the amount of heat generated from this story already, you seem to be in the minority.
Thanks you for tracking, next chapter is in the works already!
8152309 Nah man, its too late. People will forever hate and downvote stories with his character. Its just something any writer who uses him will have to accept.
this story is unfortunately going to get a lot of dislikes no matter what just because flash is in it
Now I for one like this story and will add to my favorites
keep on keeping on man and don't let the hate get to ya
8155279
Working on it right now, thank you.
I'm already excited for the next chapter. Keep up the good work Jack. U deserve a like.
8174233
I appreciate it, the next chapter is in the making.
HA! Okay, that was funny. I like how Flash can immediately turn Pinkie down. I can't wait to see how much Twilight and Flash don't get along at all.
8179062
They certainly dislike each other, that's for sure.
Okay, I'm starting to get the idea that Flash has a "bully vision." Ergo, a societal self-defense perception which tells him that nearly everypony around is out to get him or harass him in any way possible. The only one he can really trust is Shining Armor who didn't do that when they interacted. In tough societies where such behavior is expected, it's one thing, but this is Ponyville. Which makes it a big hindrance for him to do his job without the sass. Or the attitude.
So I think that they were thinking that Flash needs to learn to let go of the bully vision and to start appreciating other ponies.
Just one problem here: It fees a lot like Flash here is a bit too similar to the protagonist of your Coco Pommel fic at the start. So I'm a bit unsure on how this works out.
But keep going. This is interesting and I am a FlashLight fan to begin with.
8179071
You're correct, he does have bully vision in a sense, and yes, it does get in the way of him doing his job. But whereas the main character in "Her Generosity" developed a stigma for the general populace of Manehattan, Flash's coping mechanisms have deeper origins, maladaptive behaviors driven from his rough childhood.
Unfortunately for him, this is a heavy psychological issue that cannot be regressed quickly or easily. And as you'll see in the next chapter, it only gets worse for him from here on out, and more context will be provided as to why he acts the way he does.
You see, the main character from "Her Generosity" developed a bleak outlook of society whereas Flash has developed a bleak view of life in general, almost in a state of subtle and repressed depression.
8179066 I can't wait to see where this goes because of the first bad impression here.
8179377
Next chapter is already in the process of being written, and if I'm being very ambitious, it'll be done before the end of next week.
8179380 AWESOME! Sounds great to me!
Hey Jack, how come u didn't add the tag Alternative Universe to the fic? Correct me if I'm wrong but wouldn't u think that it would make more sense to add that tag since this Flash Sentry is different, as well as the rest of the story is also different from the show itself? Oh yeah, and before I forget awesome chapter. I'm already excited for the next chapter.
8179438
This was something I asked people before I ended up writing the story, and the general consensus was that the world itself hadn't been altered enough to warrant an "Alternate Universe" tag. Flash Sentry is the only pony whose personality has been significantly changed, everyone else is the same for the most part.
And thank you, more on the way soon.
8179082 Sounds to me like you've adopted a very deep characterization for Flash, something that both makes him stand out as a character and a flaw for him to get over.
And I absolutely love that.
8179461
Something that I don't think a lot of people may understand at first glance is that I don't like Flash Sentry as he's portrayed in the show. He's just too perfect, and it makes him come off as being shallow in depth. It's why there's a stigma around him, he's not relatable.
I've taken it upon myself to rewrite him so that he's alive and real, I've given him a past that is psychologically traumatic and has made him who he is now. But the important thing to realize is that as the story progresses, he may just become what he's depicted as in the show, but not without me showing you just what he's capable of.
8179493 Absolutely. Hasbro really fumbled on Flash as a character (of course, he only had a small role in the movie, so adding more character to him would've probably wasted time). Adding more depth to him would definitely require going off-canon with him.
I personally think that a traumatic past can be a bit cliche at times, but it can work, and I really think that it will with you.
8179530
Unfortunately, when everything has already been written, a lot of apsects of writing become cliche.
It's just a matter of how it's handled, if you're the one that does it right, then you're the one that sets the precedent for future writers.
Anyone can write anything well if they just try hard enough, even ideas that have been done to death can still have their own flair if they know what they're doing.
You made flash into a great character and I can't wait to see how he develops.
8180053
Thank you.
Hmmm.... So far so good. The jaded guard with the troubled past is a bit cliche, but a marked improvement over the vanilla Flash Sentry. I can't wait to see where this goes.
8185818
Thanks!
I don't understand why the majority of people hates (pony) Flash Sentry it's like the Muffins incident all over again.
8190246
I think Derpy is actually a pretty likable character in comparison to Flash. The problem is that he was basically designed to be Twilight's love interest. He's too perfect in a sense, very nice and has little to no moments of weakness. That's why I changed him in my story to be more relatable, so that people may actually appreciate him for how he acts in my story. He's just more human now, in terms of realism.
There will still be people who down-vote the story just out of principle or spite, but it doesn't bother me much anymore. I don't cater to them, I write to make people who appreciate my story happy.
Twilight Sparkle may have OCD.
8193450
Maybe a little.
8193511 *beat box scoff* Excuse me a little?