Anon-a-miss strikes causing Sunset Shimmer much pain and heartache.
Page generated in 0.03 seconds
Total duration
946 users online
240,307 hits today, 2,782,760 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Now this was A LOT better than a satanic attack on Trixie. Yeah the girl deserved punishment but not the kind of punishment that could most likely kill her
This was way better than that other chapter where Trixie dies.
8381958
Thank you, I'll try not to go that dark again.
8381935
Thank you, I'll do my best not to go as dark as I went before.
So you got rid of the violent torture chapter and replaced it with this. An author's note would have been good. Kinda confusing. I thought the chap would focus on Fluttershy considering the title.
8382026
no one liked the more violent one that I released and I couldn't think of anything to put into the author's notes so I just left it as you see it.
8382021
Let's hope Sunset doesn't kill the CMC
Aw Trixie, don't be hard on yourself. I can speak for the majority of us when I say: You're better off without that butthole anyways.
Anyways, this is much better than that cheap "Cupcakes" knockoff chapter.
It is funny that sunset named her animals after the mane 5
8382056
what cupcakes knockoff version?
8382063
Oh, that other chapter in general before this remake. I thought it was a blatant "Cupcakes" knockoff.
8382083
I still have no idea what you're talking about as far as I know I didn't use any cupcakes in any of the five versions that were typed up. but I am glad that you enjoyed this version compared to the other versions.
I enjoyed this chapter, Trixie was spared a horrible fate and she even tried to protect the CMC. All she got is being sprayed by a skunk and Sunset's number, could there be a potential romance there? I hope Trixie makes the call. I look forward to your next chapter.
8382063
Exactly
8382085 "Cupcakes" is a rather infamous grimdark fanfic where Pinkie Pie drugs, tortures, and kills Rainbow Dash to use her as clothing and as ingredients in her cupcakes, saying that she's done this to many ponies before Rainbow and will do it to many ponies after Rainbow. Really, it's just needless blood and violence and death.
8382099
Thanks, I look forward to reading everyone's comments on it I hope I got the titles right for what the next chapter shall imply
8382085
I'm confusing you. I'm sorry. I hope I can make it clear here. I just personally thought that other version that was up before you took it down was a ripoff of the creepypasta fanfic "Cupcakes" by Sergeant Sprinkles. Where Pinkie Pie tortured Rainbow Dash and ended up killing her so she can make cupcakes. It's an infamous fanfic in the brony community and I just found some things that Sunset did to Trixie in the other version about as similar to what Pinkie did to Rainbow in that story. Does it makes sense now?
8382125
Yes, and I was not aware of a story called Cupcakes. Either way, it was not my intention to rip off another writer by any means at all. I at first wanted to show how dark Sunset was becoming and I know I went a bit overboard with it. After seeing that no one liked my take on how dark Sunset was I decided to take it down and I rewrote it to come up with the version that you now see.
8382140
Okay then. Thanks. I glad I can clear things up for you.
So you replaced the hardcore kinky torture porn with softcore psychological torture porn.
I'd say thats a change for the better. While i didn't mind the hardcore kinky torture porn per se, this way it actually feels like there's some hope for Sunset to make it to the end of this story as something other than a monster. Exploiting someone phobias is evil, but not moral event horizon evil.
Also that Sunset gave the names of the elements to creatures that are generally considered to be revolting is interesting symbolism. Considering the tone of the story i guess it's supposed to be sad. Like she lost any positive views she might have had on those virtures.
In a more positive story this would actually be nice. Cause friendship can be found even amongst ugly, smelly, hairy people and stuff.
8382145
well, in that case, I look forward to your thoughts on the next chapter once it is ready for viewing that is.
I like the old one better, this chapter just felt childish.
Animal Symbolism!
Kindness the Snake
A snake is someone you think is kind/sincere but is really a backstabber.
Honesty the Spider
In greek Mythology, Arachne (Where we got the word Arachnid from) boasted that she could out weave Athena. Athena called her out on that bull and turned her into a spider.
Aj called Sunset her family (And we all know how much she cares for her family). But when sh*t hit the fan and Sunset tried to explain it could've been anyone of the girls or her family members Aj lashed out, boasting her family's honesty.
Loyalty the Skunk
There are two terms I found for skunk:
1.) A term used for a loved girlfriend or spouse (A pet name pretty much)
2.) A despicable person
Laughter the Opossum
Opossum are well known to fake out predators by playing dead.
In Sunset's case, Pinkie's friendship with her was fake.
Generosity the Rat
Rats have a rep for bringing the black death (The plague) to Europe.
Rarity gave Sunset an alcoholic drink which she got drunk on.
Rat's are also known as thieves but I don't know if Rarity robbed anything from Sunset
8382166
While I fully understand that this chapter might feel a bit childish very few people liked the other version which is why I rewrote it and posted what you now see. I also didn't want to risk getting booted from the site.
8382260
Rarity did still something from Sunset, Rarity stole her sense of friendship and her trust two things she can't get back.
8382292
That's right!
8382288
Yea, I know people didn't like it, but I enjoyed how evil it made Sunset.
The Demon Heart is supposed to turn the user into the ultimate evil, which means the older chapter make more sense.
It just seems to me like Sunset went from being as evil as Annie Wilkes from Misery to a generic Disney Channel Villain.
But I do understand why you removed the chapter.
I liked the old version better, it did a better job of portraying the Demon Heart afflicted Sunset than this version...
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
22:38_8/22/2017
8382355
8382444
The old chapter was a mess. There was no sense of pacing in the torture and Trixie would've been in shock and probably dead a quarter of the way through. It started off with the most brutal part and petered off from there. It wasn't evil Sunset torturing Trixie, it was a failed grimdark oc playing with a dummy that made screaming and crying noises. It didn't help that Dumbell got off much lighter than Trixie (there was no way whatsoever she would've survived that). Frankly, it was too unbelievable to be truly dark and trying to be shocking too hard to be funny. It was just dull.
There's so much more going on in this version than the old one. The way Sunset treats the animal was very interesting, the way she exploits Trixie's phobias, the ending, Trixie herself, and that there's still some Sunset in there. There's actually character and personality in this version and it was so much better paced. It's a huge improvement over the old version.
8382355
Those that hated the darker version were and are right to do so. There was no rhyme or reason for what Sunset did to Trixie while you and I may think she had every right to do what happened in that chapter. Many people thought I took things a bit too far and those people are and were right in that regard.
8382052
You could post it somewhere under "alternate episode".
8382750
I could but not on this website as it is way too graphic and far too dark for this website. Don't worry I'll blog a link to the site once I am done transferring this story to another website.
Personally, I wouldn't have had a problem if you kept the original chapter, but whatever satisfies you as an author.
8381962
Too late! You aready did the baby masscare remember.
Anyways kinda torn here, seems to make Sunset less evil, whenshe suppsoe to be very dark and revenge crazed.
I'm kidna glad Trixie alive, she alreadya broken woman due to accpeting ebing abused and making excuses for it be her fault.
but now i'm expecting you to have Sunset wimp out on getting revenge onthe CMC, what she going to do pull theri ears and called them naughty naughty girls?
8382765
No, she will still get her revenge I am not sure how though as I have not written that chapter.....yet.
8382026
Anything that will involve Fluttershy will have Fluttershy in the title of the chapter and yes there will be a Fluttershy style chapter and one shall be written soon.
8382140
I think this version of the chapter works a bit better. While Sunset had a personal vendetta against Dumbbell, Trixie was more of an irritant. Plus, the whole point of kidnapping her was to get information, not murder.
Two down.
I hope the CMC have something to say to Sunset because otherwise, their last day in Canterlot might just be their last day, period!
P.S. Is it wrong to find Sunset more attractive now?
8383428
No, it's not wrong to find her character more attractive now. I do plan on having a tender moment with Sunset and Fluttershy before all hell breaks out.
8383428
would it matter? they committed a crime and walked away from it, there no better then any rapist or murderer who gets off Scott free on a stupid technicality.
i was briefly worried for twist then my concern went out the window
9164038
Twist? I am not entirely sure I understand what you mean?