Anon-a-miss strikes causing Sunset Shimmer much pain and heartache.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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ok, I wasn't exactly sure about your story till now since it was nearly a retell of the comic with some changes, but now it get's more interesting
looking forward to more
So, some wierd ghost fried Twily's brain? And I believe that thing is related to Sunset somehow... Also, while this chapter was good, it was a bit repetitive with the letter and the conversation between Twi and Celestia, please avoid that in the future, it makes the story boring.
7612248 Not entirely sure what part you where referring to I thought that if Celestia told Twilight to stay away from crystal ridge it would give a little mystery to the story. If you would be willing to show me what part within this chapter needs to be fixed I will be more than willing to fix it I am just however not sure what part needs to be fixed.
7612304 My mistake here. I've re-read the the letter Twi wrote to Celestia and then their conversation at the gardens. For some reason I thought Twi said the exact same thing she wrote in the letter. My bad.
Still, did Twily had her brains fried? Or something even more terrifying? If won't/can't answer it's fine, I just wanted to see if guess was right
7617043 I was actually trying to find a image of the five girls standing around Sunsets grave but couldn't find one. So then I thought if I looked for one where Rainbow is holding Sunset in her arms while it is down pouring out and Sunset looks lifeless that might work yet again I couldn't find that image either. So after several hours of searching I gave up and settled for the one that is shown. If however you know where I can get a image of Rainbow holding Sunset in her arms and Sunset looks like she is lifeless with Rain pouring down on the two of them that would be great.
7617149 Couldn't find much on Sunset tombstone's but I found this and had a laugh
derpicdn.net/img/2013/6/17/351038/full.jpg
And a generic suicidal Sunset pic
derpicdn.net/img/2015/5/9/892416/medium.png
Um... alright then.
Yeah so are you gonna explain how some ghost or whatever happens to know who twilight is? Or is stronger than an alicorn? Because that's kinda far fetched.
Okay, this chapter is totally screwy. Not only are there multiple dialog issues, but I fail to see why Celestia didn't TELL Twilight what was at Crystal Ridge and why it was so dangerous to be there. More importantly, why didn't Celestia send a letter telling Twilight what she needed to know? This feels like the literary equivalent of filler in a TV show.
8323016
I am not sure what you mean by Dialogue issues if you could explain I might be able to fix the issues?