Anon-a-miss strikes causing Sunset Shimmer much pain and heartache.
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Oh, thank goodness!!!!
And like that...... Summer just caused Scootaloo to die.
Ah shit....Summer's back to being bitch #1.
And ah shit Rainbow's screwed!
8582378
That was my reaction as well! Also hope Sunset rips Rainbow apart.
Sheesh, don't you think you're overdoing it a bit with piling misery on your characters?
There is a point where it stops being tragic and just becomes plain silly.
Chrysalis being beaten up and raped by Sombra is tragic.
Chrysalis becoming an abusive mother, because of that trauma, would've been tragic.
Chrysalis shacking up with her abusive rapist, for the sake of her baby, and then becoming abusive, is just silly.
If she had been doing anything, for the sake of Crystalis, she would've kept as far away from Sombra as possible.
Being a single mom ain't easy, granted, but it's easier that sticking with your rapist.
As for Eventide, the abusive Grandfather and the complications from her Schizophrenia, would've done it for her time in the human world.
Considering all her trauma while in Equestria, that you haven't shown yet, adding an abusive mental hospital and a dead girlfriend to the mix, just again, feels too absurdly tragic to take it serious.
As for the things i did like, the character interactions were very well done.
The dialogue during the phone call scene and specially the way Rainbow yells at Pinkie.
That was a great bit of a person snapping under distress right there.
The fact that Mrs. Cake and the twins are alright, is also a nice, bright, little hope spot, in the grim darkness of this story.
8583531
How was Eventides grandfather abusive? Just because he had her train in martial arts doesn't make him abusive. Just because he made sure she could survive in the woods doesn't make him abusive.
8583533
The martial arts and survival training is fine.
It's the keeping her isolated from society and refusing medical treatment for her mental illness, that counts as abusive in my book.
Not to mention how that he blackmailed his own daughter, into letting him raise Eventide in the first place.
8583531
Its called Stockholm syndrome and in Chrysalis case Sombra mentally broke her. Sombra beat her so badly and mentally abused her so much that her mind snapped He would then go on to play the good husband only to return to what he did to her which was beating her. As for Eventide, I wanted there to be a few good reasons as to why she goes after her mother in the sequel her character is supposed to be both hero and villain. The grandfather was stricked with Eventide but he was in no way abusive just because he teaches his granddaughter how to fight, to live off the land, to build shelters in the woods and to hunt and track does not make him abusive. The reason Eventide was in the deer and elk skins was to keep her warm too keep her from freezing to death. but none of that makes him abusive towards his granddaughter.
8583540
Celestia has yet to tell Twilight that she too suffers from PTSD and as such her father didn't want her around the kid until she got her temper under control. He didn't keep his granddaughter isolated from society that was because his nearest neighbor is almost two days walking. The reason he didn't believe in mental illness is when it started to show up the kid was 10 so he thought it was just her having fun with an imaginary friend she never once attacked him or tried to hurt him. It was the doctors at the hospital that she was sent to after she attacked the cops for desecrating her grandfathers grave that really caused her to have problems. Eventide had a few good years with Fireheart (Pony version) and a few good months with Fireheart (Human version) she also had a good time with her grandfather as well. before he died.
8583542
I know how abusive relationships work. I question the fact that she followed him into one in the first place.
They weren't in a relationship before he brutalised and raped her. So what incentive did she have?
Stockholm Syndrom takes time to develope.
I already said that's not the problem.
If he'd just been the guy who taught Eventide how to fight and live of the land he would've been a cool Grandfather.
It's the blackmailing is own daughter, into letting him raise her alone, the keeping her isolated from society, and the refusing her medical treatment, that makes him abusive.
8583552
oh, then I completely misread what you had typed for that I am sorry. As for keeping her isolated that wasn't by choice that was because his nearest neighbor is a three-day walk off the mountain that he lives on. Again when Eventide started to show signs of it he thought she was just playing around and didn't realize until it was too late that there was something wrong. I plan on showing this when I do her actual story which will be a prequel to this one.
8583563
Fair enough i guess. Though that still leaves the part where he blackmailed Celestia.
8583572
Do you recall the chapter where Twilight sees a picture of Eventide at the age of seven and the child is getting stitches in her face the reason he took her was because of that photo. Celestia's father didn't believe for a minute that his daughter didn't do that to her own kid. He reported her to CPS as any parent should and as a result, they placed the granddaughter with him for a few days while an investigation was made. The officer who made the investigation was so overzealous that he put things into his report that made Celestia look like a horrible mother. Her father went to Chrysalis completely unaware of the relationship she had with Celestia he at first tried to get the child back to Celestia however when it was brought up in court that his daughter suffers from PTSD and that there have been times when she actually thought she was back in the war the state decided to take the kid for good. To keep this from happening Celestia's father offered to raise the child however he stated it in such a way that it forced Celestia to get help. Celestia didn't want to get help and thought there was nothing wrong with her she was still grieving the loss of her husband at the time being and really didn't see that there was a really big problem brewing. So her father had little choice but to force her to get help by taking the kid and he did it the only way he knew it would work.
Welp, Scoots’ dead. Though TBH, I would definitely loved it better if it was Applejack and Apple Bloom instead of Rainbow and Scootaloo since Apple Bloom started the whole thing. And also considering Apple Bloom said,
Sunset would have something special for just the both of them. But, that’s just my opinion.
8583682
TBH ? huh?
I have two more chapters to do before I show what Sunset will do to the CMC I look forward to reading your thoughts on it.
8583725
1. Cool.
2. TBH means “To Be Honest.”
And like that Celestia had to buy a new car lols
seems pretty good and still has a great progression.
I'm so happy to hear that Cupcake and her babies are okay!
Also...Summer...
You done bucked the hay up!
Man I was not expecting 4 characters to mess up in one chapter. Celestia follows Rainbow even though she knows Scoots will die if anyone else comes, Twilight ask Summer to prove she isn't sunset which results in a "oh crap" moment, Dash ditches the one ride to her sisters location to attack a person who looks like Sunset not knowing she's running out of time, and Summer ......well I think its pretty self explanatory. BTW why Rainbow dash only, I thought Sunsets plan was to have Twilight destroy her so she no longer feels the pain of this world?
8586455
divide and conquer. Sunset can't take on all of them at the same time so she needs to divide them up and take them on one by one
ironicaly, even after everything that she's done, sunset still has karma on ehr side, thats what makes this funny, she migth win simply because everyone agianst her has no karma advantage over her.
8587852
Thank you for the comment and you are right I look forward to what your thoughts will be once I get another chapter up and ready for review.
Sorry it took me so long to get here.
OK, so we have what happened to Crystalis, what happened to Eventide, as well as what happened to the family of Chrysalis, Sombra and a good chunk of Celestia. I didn't think we would go that deep into it or why they had such. Instead, we find out that things got worse before they ever got 'good' and there are plenty of unique challenges ahead. I really didn't expect the abuse to be so heavy or for the fact that Chrysalis was used by Sombra. Quite a rough time for them, but unluckily it probably does happen. Sombra at least can't go back to Japan without some pain, but that doesn't mean he won't try to mess up someone else soon enough. We'll see.
OK, now we have this little conflict of Rainbow scared, the girls worried, and the others getting ready to chase down someone that could kill them, but if they do so it won't matter what happens. Mmm still, Sunset may have some powerful forces on her side, but she's still deciding to do vigilante justice in a horrible and rough way..if she had gone after the Crusaders only still. Instead, no, she's going after her old friends. This really burns that she would choose her targets like this. I mean, I get that she's miffed that they abandoned, broke and destroyed what she had.
It's more the fact that she really did have bad luck doing this. She could have gone to the Principals office to deliver the Heart, telling them that it's only for the girls to make sure it never runs into evil hands..
There were a lot of stressed out moments that really made sure there wasn't anything good going on.
Summer, oh Summer Summer Summer. You were mad, you blew up a car and you made sure that there's going to be enough trouble coming your way that I'll be surprised if anything shows up for you again as 'good'. Well, onto next chapter. See you later, enjoy!
8609752
Thank you for the comment I look very much forward to what you will think of the next chapter once it is out and ready for review. Oh, by the way, Sunset was going to give the Demons Heart to the girls before she got stabbed with it and Rainbow or Applejack could have stepped in during that fight yet they chose not to do so. So in my honest opinion, they kinda have this coming to them.
8583531
You'd be surprised how often victims of abuse are convinced that staying with their abuser is the best thing for them. That's not silly. That's a tragic fact.
R.I.P. Celestia's car. You will be missed.
9171716
Thanks. I really like your comment and am eagerly awaiting to see what else you think of the other chapters