A friend that she had fallen in love with yet never told her how she actually felt.

No, I'm bailing. I didn't sign up for shipping crap.

7500692

There is no shipping in this one!

This could be a nice one-shot chapter. I'm genuinely interested, though sorry to say, I won't follow it or anything, since I hate tragedy stories. You got my thumbs up anyways.

7500705

Thanks for the thumbs up and for being honest about why you don't want to follow the story I fully understand completely and fully do. This story won't be for everyone. again thanks very very much for the thumbs up!

As a Texan, your AJ southern speak is slightly off. But other then that, it seems interesting enough. :)

nice job!

7500776 yeah about that I got the speech for A.J. from a how to speak redneck generator I really really don't know how else to write for that character and I spent the last three weeks trying to find some sort of generator that would let me write for her. But that is all I could find so yeah I do admit it might be a bit off.

7500788

Thank you so much. That comment means so much to me.

Is this another suicide story? No offense, but the Anon-a-Miss suicide stories have been overdone.

7500857 no prob! can't wait to see more!

7500862

If I answer that I might ruin the story for those that are reading this. so I will leave it up to the reader right now to decide if it is or isn't. that way I don't ruin the story itself for those that are reading this.

7500867 There will be more I am however a bit confused though. What I need help with is knowing what date it would be if you count back six weeks while still trying to keep the students in school before Christmas and placing what happens in the first part of this shortly after Christmas.

7500878 wouldn't it be november if it was six weeks before christmas?

7500889 What I got from some online month to year calculator thing was December 13 but that really doesn't seem right to me I want this story to pick in the next chapter one week before Christmas starts. In order to keep the high school students still in school so that this makes a least a little sense.

7500916 thouse things are never reliable.

7500925 yeah I am so learning that.

7500936 six weeks from christmas would be november 24

7500958 So I might have to change it in order to get this to story time line thing to work,

7500972 yep!
hope i was able to help!

7500979 yes you where a great deal of help, thank you. now I have to find a date and day that would make sense for them to be in school six weeks prior to the events of the opening chapter

Do you know when or if at all the students would have gone back to School after thanks giving

7500990 i think school starts back up a week after thanksgiving

7500862

How many has there been? I count one where she did kill herself, the others were near kill herself and that about....three four?
no offense to you bu there ton of different stories where the characters go a dark path, or Twilight explodes at the wedding as a example.

anyways look forward t reading thsi oen even if it has Sunset taking her life, and glad to see The CMC getting prison time for this.
Guess Granny and Big Mac are upset at Apple Jack for helping cause this mess by not being there for Sunset.
Don;t eant to think how baddly they were effected by Apple Bloom involment.

7500993 so according to my calendar that should be about December fifth give or take a day or two

7501015 sounds about right

7501033 Then that should work then so I won't need to change everything around COOL! OK, so on with the next chapter then.

7501049 sweet!

Anyone but me think that uncool is a tad overused?

7501173 You wouldn't by chance know of another word that Rainbow would have used to describe herself as someone that is uncool and someone that wasn't loyal to Sunset I would love to hear your thoughts on this.

7501180 Lame comes to mind.

7501239 Thank You I will make the changes to it in just a quick second I didn't really know what else to put other than that so again thank you.

7501257 if you need more you could always use google.

7501293 Thank you I'll keep that in mind.

sorry no. don't like this at all.

...can Sunset get past this or will she sub-come to what her own inner voice is telling her?

The word is succumb.

When using a compound adjective (such as rainbow-haired or blue-skinned), make sure to add hyphens.

Applejack's brother's name is Big Macintosh, with a lower-case i.

This story is missing a lot of commas, and there are a good deal of commas (nine out of the twenty-two I found) incorrectly placed. That, in addition to the other grammar problems, made the story hard to understand. And Applejack's accent seemed a bit...much.

I certainly hope you fix these things from here on (perhaps find an editor), because I've always been a sucker for Anon-A-Miss stories, and I want to like this a lot. But in its current state, it's just too hard to take it seriously. I'll be tracking this, though, on the chance that you do improve and make this story great.

I hope this helps, and I wish you luck in this and your future endeavors .

7500878 Exactly six weeks before December 25 is November 14

7501966 Thank you for noticing that I didn't see that until now so again thank you very much.

7501966

As for Applejack's voice within this story I am not really sure how to write for her so I looked around on the internet and found a Red Neck speech generator thus I have been using that to help with her speech. I find her character one of the MOST difficult characters to write for mainly because of how she talks. As for an editor the last editor that offered to help with my other story was sixteen I had to turn them down flat because of what the story deals with. So unless I can find someone in their twenties I am not going to be able to find a good editor.

7501966 uh when I found how to spell his name because I wasn't sure myself I found two different ways to spell it one has the (I) in caps the other has it in lower case so I am not sure which one to actually go with.

7502431 OK and students should I think return to school the following Monday after thanksgiving. So I might have to change that if I want it to be able to keep the students in school yet have thanksgiving mentioned beforehand.

7502470 You're very welcome! I've got a lot of time on my hand, so if you'd like, I could give it a run-through and iron out those wrinkles. I'm 25 years old, so I'm fairly certain I fall within the mid-20s range . I can also work with Applejack's dialogue to make it easier to read but still stick with her accent.

7502899

Thank you so much! I would love to have you look at what I have for the opening and to try to fix it. Again thank you.

7502931 No problem. I'll run through it and get it to you tonight, though it may be late tonight, around midnight, Central Time.

7502971 oh, that's fine I am not sure how to grant access to the story with google documents though.

7502977 That's not a problem. I'll just edit in WordPad and copy-paste it in a PM to you.

Love it!

Nnope.

7502470 Yeah AJ has a country gal accent, which is a bit of light redneck and light blue collar. While the accent used here comes of more as dumb hillbilly.

Southern accents are actually very deep and varied.

"A friend that she had fallen in love with yet, never told her how she actually felt."

Oh god...

“YOU DIDN’T LOVE HER! I DID..I…”

“How dare y'all take all the blame fur ya’ll self Rainbow! Y'all are acting like a selfish cat that has gotten the canary! We are all of us here a-hurtin' right now Rainbow Dash! Me, Rarity, Fluttershy ayn' Pinkie all of us here are a-hurtin' because av this here! So don’t y'all go ayn' take all the blame fur this, because it ain't a-goin' ta work!”

Well nice to see that addressed at least.
It's well written at least, though AJ's accent seems slightly...stilted, I guess.

So... she's dead?

so is there an epilogue that happens RIGHT AFTER the 'Six Weeks Later' chapter?