ts_letter.exe
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic characters. They are owned by Hasbro.
I do not own Homestarrunner.com. It is owned by the Brothers Chaps.
“Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle!”
With a flourish of his quill, Spike finished writing out the friendship report that Twilight had dictated to him. “All set!” he announced and rolled up the piece of parchment into a tight bundle.
“Great!” Twilight cheered and gave a knowing nod to her assistant. “Go ahead and send it.”
“Roger!”
Concealed in some nearby bushes, a pair of eyes watched with growing excitement as Spike prepared to douse the letter with his magical breath. Luck was with the mysterious figure as Twilight and Spike had decided to write their friendship report outside rather than within the confines of their library. This would make the figure’s plan that much easier.
The figure tensed its body, ready to spring forward at the right moment. It held its breath as Spike let loose a stream of green fire that consumed the parchment, creating a magical cloud of ash that began to drift away.
“NOW!”
Twilight Sparkle and Spike jumped in shock as a multi-colored streak zipped past them. The duo gasped as they caught sight of Rainbow Dash speeding towards the retreating letter with a thundercloud in her front hooves. They could do nothing but stare as Dash flew in front of the magic ash, quickly place the thundercloud into position and gave it a mighty kick. A bolt of lightning erupted from the cloud and struck the ash. There was a flash of blinding light, forcing Twilight and Spike to look away. When they were able to turn back around there was no sign of the letter and only a pegasus laughing her head off on top of the thundercloud.
“I did it! Bwah ha ha ha! I’m so awesome!” Dash rolled around to get a look at the victims of her prank. “You-you should see the looks on your f-faces!” She once again lapsed into uncontrollable mirth.
Rainbow Dash’s victory laugh ended abruptly when the cloud she was laying on magically poofed out of existence. “Whoa!” she cried out before landing in a heap on the ground.
“Rainbow!” Twilight yelled down at her friend. She stood over the pegasus with a deep frown marring her muzzle. “Why did you do that?!”
Dash groaned and slowly picked herself up. She cocked her head side to side, causing a few pops in her neck to be heard, before addressing Twilight. “Chillax, Twilight. I just wanted to see what would happen if I could hit your letter with a little bit of lightning.
“And did you see that?” Dash continued. She pointed a hoof at where the letter used to be. “It went BANG! I wasn’t expecting that but it was so cool!”
Twilight wasn’t so amused. “Rainbow, you shouldn’t have done that. Now I have to write another report. Plus, there’s no knowing what could have happened to the letter. Or where it could end up.”
“Oh, relax, Twi. What’s the worst that could happen?”
Elsewhere...
“My little e-mail~
My little e-mail~
How I want to check you~”
CLICK!
“Dear Princess Celestia. Today I-”
The wrestling man stopped reading his computer screen and shook his head in exasperation. “It’s going to be one of those e-mails, isn’t it?”
Strong Bad, decked out in his customary red and black mask, red boxing gloves and black pants, gazed back up at his sleek and shiny Compé screen and sighed. “All right, I’ll play along. Ahem:
“Dear Princess Celestia,
Today I learned that friendship is a give and take. You have to give to your friends just as much as they give to you in order for friendship to work. It’s nice to receive a gift or a favor from your friends from time to time but you can’t forget to return the gester same to them. It doesn’t matter how big the favor is or the cost of the gift, just that the thought counts.
Your Faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle”
Strong Bad stared at the screen for a moment, letting the words sink in. Finally, he raised his gloved hands and began typing. While he typed, he said aloud, “Dear Twilight Dorkle. Today I’ve learned that I need to look into updating my spam filter. It’s this kind of crap that I’m trying to keep away from me.”
With a click of a button on his keyboard, Strong Bad brought up his latest spam program. On the screen it read:
Spammalot V0.000002 by Kristie
Programmed entirely in Dad’s Man Cave
“Ugh, not even out of beta yet,” Strong Bad grumbled. Another click and the screen changed back to his e-mail program. “Who were you trying to send this to? Celestia? Sounds like some kind of skin condition. Or a telescope.
“And what’s with the strikethrough? What, you felt too lazy to hit your delete key but you took the time to highlight it so you could show off your crazy WordPad skills? I hope for your sake that this princess of yours doesn’t keep an MLA handbook nearby.
“But you know, you might be onto something with this give and take thing, TwiSpi. The friendship levels around here have been dropping like a horse drops... well, let’s just say the Poopsmith has been working overtime lately. I suppose I should take your advice and try to get everyone around here to regain the magic of friendship. In fact... “ He stopped typing his response and hopped off of his stool, Chairscoot, and walked out of his house.
Strong Bad didn’t have to go far to find his first experiment in friendship. The Stick, a simple brown twig stuck in the ground, was always a good spot to find someone. “Hey there, Homestar,” the masked man greeted a tall albino dressed in a red shirt with a white star on it. Atop Homestar’s head was a blue, red, and white propeller cap. “Whatcha, doin’?”
“Oh, hey, Strong Bad,” Homestar Runner replied back and smiled down at the new arrival. “Oh, I was just standing around, waiting for something to happen. You know, the usual.”
“Well, you’re in luck as I’ve got something right here.” Strong Bad lifted up one of his gloved hands. A pair of old and moldy boxing gloves hanging from a thin string dangled from it. Homestar was the easiest mark around and would be perfect for what he had in mind. “I got an e-mail that said that friends need to share with each other. So, I’ll give you my prized set of boxing gloves if you give me a hundred dollars.”
“Really?” Homestar asked with growing excitement. “Well, that seems fair! I’ve always wanted to own a piece of authentic Strong Bad memorabilia! After all, friends got to care and friends got to share!” He stepped forward and a one-hundred dollar appeared before him.
Strong Bad quickly took the bill and stuffed it in his pants pocket. “Nice doing business with ya, Homestar! Here’s your boxing gloves!”
Homestar lovingly took the gloves and held them close to his chest. “It’s like a dream come true!”
“Yep!” Strong Bad agreed. He discretely hid a chuckle as he began walking away. “I can feel the friendship growing between us already!”
As Strong Bad searched for his next target to spread friendship, he spotted a pink figure hopping towards him. Strong Bad blinked when the figure reached him and was revealed to be a pony, with cotton candy mane and tail.
“Um,” Strong Bad said. “Are you some kind of new character around here?”
The wrestle man stepped back when the pony hopped into the air and gasped. The pony shot off into the distance without uttering a word.
“Why do I get the feeling that I haven’t seen the last of that... horse?”
Later in the day, Strong Bad staggered back into his computer room. His hands were full of gifts, food, trinkets, and other knick-knacks that he managed to swindle off the people he liked the least. It was all in the name of friendship and today marked a great stride in furthering its magic.
“Or at least it got me all this great swag!” Strong Bad’s muffled voice said through the pile in his hands. He dropped his new acquisitions next to his desk and sat back down in his seat to finish his e-mail.
“Thanks for the great advise, I Spi with my little Twi!” he typed and vocalized at the same time. “I can already tell that the camaraderie, togetherness, and all those other stupid words that go with friendship have risen through the roof. Things are definitely looking up around here. Why, next week, Marzipan’s going to hold a giveaway for arts and crafts and I’m going to give her a bucket full of termites! This giving and receiving thing really works!
Your troll,
Strong Bad.”
CLICK!
Spike watching in concern as Twilight completed her fiftieth revolution around the park fountain.
“Oh, where could it have gone? Who could have gotten it? What if the letter doesn’t reach the princess? I can’t think straight to write another letter!”
Spike had seen enough and he marched his way over to block Twilight’s path. “Twilight, you’re being silly again! I remember most of the letter; I can just write it out again.
“And who knows? Maybe the letter reached somepony that could really-BURP!”
Twilight shrieked and ducked her head to avoid the sudden burst of flame that came from Spike’s mouth. The pair starred as the flames began to coalesce and with a final flash of green, an envelope appeared and dropped down to the ground.
For a moment, neither of them moved. Then, Spike cautiously crept forward and picked up the envelope. On the front of the envelope there was a message that read, “Re: Give and Take.”
“What is it, Spike?” Twilight asked hesitantly as she walked up to him.
“I... think someone responded to your letter.”
“Really? Well, what does it say?”
Spike sliced the envelope open with a claw and pulled out the letter inside. He unfolded it and held it up so he could read it. “Ahem. Dear Twilight Dorkle. Today I’ve learned-”
“Twilight Dorkle?!”
Before Spike even knew what was happening, Twilight wrenched the letter out of his claws and levitated it over to herself. Her eyes scanned through the writing, her expression darkening the further she read. With a cry of rage, she crumpled up the letter and threw it to the ground.
“Who’s this Strong Bad?! How could he do such awful things to his friends?! Doesn’t he know that friendship is the most precious thing-?”
PREEEOW!
Twilight and Spike yelped from the unexpected sound right above them. They glanced up and beheld a giant piece of printer paper with the words, “Click here to e-mail strong bad,” typed across it.
Twilight blinked. “What... what does that mean?”
The End
Easter Egg:
“Wait! Wait! Don’t end the email yet!”
Pinkie Pie popped in between Twilight and Spike, knocking them over. “I’ve got everything ready for our Crossover Party!”
She looked up and noticed the paper hanging above her.
“Shoot!”
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Lulz.
Otherwise, good.
FIRST COMMENT AS I AM ACTUALLY FIRST :D
I don't always like crossovers, but when I do it's because nostalgia. You managed to hit every nail on the head as far as in-character dialogue and actions goes.
If you'll excuse me I'm going to go lament the lack of new Homestar stuff.
[youtube=Jpgy21r_dRE]
I'm putting this one on my main page so that it gets more views!
Read the whole thing aloud, didn't regret an instant. I'd blah about it being inaccessible to anyone who isn't a fan of either thing but right now I simply DO NOT care because I couldn't keep a straight face through the whole thing. Magic.
Also you nailed Strong Bad's dialogue. NAILED.
Wow, yeah, I agree with the commissar. That was an impressive imitation of the Chaps Bros style. I could practically hear Strong Bad's voice saying "In faaaact..." followed by da geddup noise, it's such a classic transition to the "middle part' of the email. Maybe the Chaps Brethren should hire you as a ghost writer since they're apparently too busy having, you know, actual LIVES and raising FAMILIES to update their internet cartoon website, *grumblecakes grumblecakes*
That's too awesome to exist. And yet it does. Excellent work.
OH GOD, YES.
lol
Excellent! Well done good... person! A thup from me, to be sure.
That was different.
If you'd asked me yesterday to think up a hundred possible crossover sources, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have come up with Homestar Runner.
Positively ingenious, I must say.
images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110907155061/spore/images/c/c2/Aww-Yeah-meme.png
Perfectly done! I must admit, I was surprised at how well you captured the essence of Strong Bad! Hmm... I'll bet that's marketable!
I wonder how people in the world of Homestar thought Strong Bad's actions were all some kind of joke?
This is fantastic and perfectly in character. Nice short story that was definitely worth the read. You deserve a like and favorite, good author!
I love it. Simply amazing.
803390
I'm down with a good lulzie.
803428
Hope this tides you over until they return. Let's hope!
803563
Thanks for that! Also, Twilight is still cute when she does that.
803570
Strong Bad approves of your comment. Now send him an e-mail!
803582
I just want some of those grumblecakes~
Let's raise the grumblestakes~
Let's hope that once their little guy is old enough, they'll return.
803584
The awesomeness makes its existence possible. Well, and a dash of rainbows.
803609
803639
803644
A thup? What am I going to do with a thup? Maybe Strong Sad could use a good thup.
803671
Honestly, I was surprised no one else has tried this before me. All I found was a Marzipan Answering Machine parody. Which I'm going to read like a boss.
803683
Thanks! I was worried that another, more talented author would get to it first.
803771
I actually had a scene where Pinkie meets Strong Bad while he's scamming his friends, but it just didn't fit well. The paper took up her slack.
803896
Woo Hoo! Thanks!
803916
Perhaps it's marketable, but he'd likely sue the pants off me. And then just settle out of court.
803980
Who knows? Some of the Homestar Runner characters aren't what you'd call... perceptive.
804033
Thank you! I'm glad you found this enjoyable!
804147
Thanks! I was worried that there wouldn't be a large enough Homestar Runner fanbase to get the jokes.
Thank you all for commenting! It's been a blast to see so many enjoying this silly story.
Knows next to nothing about Homestar. Still enjoyed the crossover.
Very nicely done.
Bwuahahaha, YES!
Good ol' Homestar Runner & Strong Bad.
Dear Strong Bad,
My friend Dashie wanted me to ask you something. How do you type with boxing gloves on your hooves? Whatever that means...
Your Friend,
Pinkie Pie
P.S. If you come to Ponyville, I can guarantee a super-dooper-looper party with cake and cookies and Pin the Tail on the Pony!
All of my yes.
I'm also a bit surprised it hasn't been done before. I guess that's just how Internet stuff goes, though. What was insanely popular 10 years ago is more or less dead today. Kudos for having the strangest fic I've read today which wasn't also terrible.
804433
That means I did my job to at least set the stage for what was going on. Awesome!
805735
They are a funny pair. No doubt!
805860
Dear Diana,
I'll only answer your question if you answer mine.
How do ponies carry things in their hooves? I mean, seriously.
Your Phoney,
Strong Bad
P.S. If your party has 88 hot girls there, I will be all up ons!
806211
And all of mine, as well!
806599
Thanks! I usually don't write such silly stuff, but it seems I lucked out with this one.
Once again, thank you all for commenting and enjoying!
Wow. That was excellent. I really could hear everything Strong Bad said in his voice. And the Chairscoot!
Very amusing, you really nailed this.
As the other commentors have stated, you did an excellent job with this! You got the character speaking styles and overall plot style of a SBemail down perfectly and the added 'sound effects' made the reading immersion even better. I don't know if it would be possible to pull off such a clean crossover if the fans of the two properties in question weren't as fanatical as they are.
812192
Chairscoot is best Geddup Noise!
821524
Thank you! I certainly wasn't sure how this would turn out when I started.
832499
The sound effects were the most worrisome since the SBmails are so visually necessary to get most of the jokes. There's some things that just don't translate well to the written word. But, I'm glad that everyone thinks I nailed it!
Dear Twilight,
How do you type with hooves on?
-Your best friend,
Trevor
Wow... My brain read that in 100% dead on homestar runner voices. It's like my auditory gland somehow got sucked all the way back to 2002. ...Not sure quite how I feel about that. Still, a wonderful read that will likely inspire me to waste several hours later today in a depths of flash based Internet nostalgia.
Oh yeah I totally did forget to favorite and comment here when I first read it. Same as everyone else, I'm basically just going to say you captured the Brothers Chaps style perfectly, and I was able to envision it as if it actually were a new update on site. If only~ Anyways, I really should stop procrastinating on reading the rest of your stuff, but... procrastinating is really easy.
845345
Dear Strong Bad,
Typing? Have you seen our typewriters? We have the best available! Only three keys! You need over 26 just to spell your name right. Top that!
Sincerely,
Twilightlicious
862050
Thanks!
885038
What better way to spend your time? I personally love the random button on the site and just let it run in the background while I do whatever. Good times.
887155
Why, thank you! I'm really floored by how well this story was received. There are more fans of this internet show than I was expecting.
Ugh, don't get me started on procrastination. I could have so much stuff done now if I just put away the distractions. They're just so... distracting.
Thank you all for commenting and enjoying my work!
Oh, how I miss Strong Bad and HR in general
I can't believe I never thought of this idea. It makes so much sense. And Strong Bad is just spot on perfect. Major kudos, man.
This is hilarious. Brings me back to my childhood. Kudos to you, man.
There needs to be a Trogdor fic...
914649
I miss new Homestar Runner stuff too. That's partially why I came up with this idea, just to have a little more Strong Bad in my life. Judging from the response, I think it worked!
954239
I'm not sure how I would work Trogdor in, especially since this is a one-shot. Though I suddenly have this image of Fluttershy staring down the Burninator in my head...
Thanks for the comments! I'm so glad so many people found this enjoyable!
That was hilarious! Haven't seen any Strong Bad emails for a while, so this was great!
I can't say it any better than the rest already have. As an avid fan of HSR back in the day, this was utterly flawless. I'm just glad I stumbled on this fic! You've earned a follower, easily.
954239
Why, should such a thing occur, do I have a very vivid mental picture of Discord confronting Trogdor about his shoddy impersonation?
959704
Thanks! I've been missing new emails too and wanted to try to fill the void by making my own. Glad you found it enjoyable!
1263536
Thank you! I'm just pleased as bunch that this came out and met readers' expectations.
As a bonus, here's my interpretation of a scene with Trogdor and Discord:
Trogdor: Puny spirit! I am the Burninator! I've torched all the thatched-roof cottages!
Discord: Yeah, but can you make them float upside down?
Glorious.
Oh, man, I LOVE Homestar Runner, and this just made my day. You kept Strong Bad totally in character. Kudos to you! =)
2541805
Glad you found this enjoyable! Hope the rest of your day goes just as well!
Three years. Never forget.
845345
Trevor? You're back? What happened? We thought they got you!
1263536
fc02.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2011/262/d/5/discord__s_older_brother_by_rmsaun98722-d4aa4yu.jpg
One of the best crossovers I've read on here for a while. I love Strong Bad and really miss him; hopefully the Brothers Chaps get to making a new one someday.
Have a like and a favorite.
I was reliving my childhood and I wondered, "Hm, I wonder if there's a pony crossover with this," and poof, here I am! Great work!
4004950
Heh, that's pretty much the thought process that went through my head just before I wrote this.
Also, if you're interested in more Homestar Runner hijinx, here's Twilight's Answering Machine.
Dear Princess Celestia,
Princess? Princess? What, was the 'Queen' upgrade out of your price range? You have this entire country that pretty much worships you and you still couldn't convince them to shell over some extra tax money for the bling necessary to pull that off? I mean, the of Town managed to get 'King' status and the closest thing we have to an economy is Bubs' Concession Stand.
Seriously, if a semi-senile glutton can get people to call him 'King,' it couldn't be that hard to tack 'Queen' onto your name and have it stick.
Sincerely yours,
Strong (we have real royalty) Bad
Love it. :D
Nailed it!
If it's okay, there's a dramatic reading of your story.
Looks like your hard work paid off there, good job.
6417112
Heh. Yeah, PresentPerfect notified me of it. Really good voice work!
Though I agree with PresentPerfect's review in that it's weird having some parts of the narration spoken allowed, particularly the spots where I describe Strong Bad typing on his keyboard (with boxing gloves on!).
6417170
. Again, I apologize.
Oh, sorry. Didn't know you already got it. Silly me
Congratulations by the way, you earned it.