Chester the Cynical Adult is transported to Equestria by Twilight Sparkle, where he wreaks havoc on the poor unicorn and her Celestial teacher.
Warning: This story may offend the following:
-Most human in Equestria writers
-All printed forms of literature
-Hasbro
-Spammers
-Paypal customer service
-the homeless
-cute puppies
-Handegg place kickers
-Fans of Titanic
-Leroy Jenkins
-Of Monsters and Men
-Big Joe Turner
-Ponyfall Collaborators
-seismologists
-Ballerinas
-The Army
-Gay people
-Anybody who’s actually named Chester
-Gay people again
-The Arctic monkeys
-Duck tape
-Taser Victims
-Killjoy (Author of Three of Me: School Society)
-The creators of DBZ: Abridged
-The moon
-Homestarrunner
-Salsa dancers
Chapters (4)
This is good. I know I was offended at least twice in this chapter.
When you offend me, I'll let you know. (Good luck offending me. Nothing offends me.)
522812 Challenge accepted.
I... I know what you're trying to do here, but it comes across as "trying too hard". As humor it reminds me of those Disaster Movie / Vampires Suck / Epic Movie / etc. films that just go for offensiveness and weirdness without really coherently doing anything.
I guess this is my own preference for more abstract Mitch Hedberg and Monty Python sort of humor, but... not feeling it here...
Of course, I can't downvote you and I won't since you're such a close friend, but... dunno.
Due to the fact that I am a salsa dancer on the titanic as a taser victim and a seismologist, I am thoroughly offended.
587989 Good.
I can appreciate what you're trying to do here, and that's the key word; trying. The humor feels a tad forced and contrived, though you do make up for it with a nice writing style.
Err....
Not sure if want...
This is way too fast to really be any good (not to mention nothing has really happened), but I must commend you for being the first author, that I've seen anyway, to use Chester the Cynical Adult. He totally got shafted by Krastos.
588031 The thick, gooey plot is to come, my friend. And there may be Krastos later in the story!
Just kidding. There won't be.
I just only went WTF and laughed a little.
This is fucking amazing
588106 Religion doesn't need to be poked - it is a joke just the way it is.
well i can't say im offended but i can say i wouldn't have done what chester has done in this chapter, and trust me i'm a horrible person.
Like I said, my grandfather's name is Chester, and I am unnecessarilly offended by this.
dont love it but dont hate it either.... tracking.
hilarious by the way
trollfic is effective yet not. It's good but not great. and makes every self respecting HiE writer facehoof. Good work.
I am not offended. Tracking.
Chester seems to be more of a misanthrope than a cynic here.
It's "Duct Tape" not "Duck Tape".
This was amazing BandBrony, have I ever told you that I love you!
590420 I love you too!
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589100 The character "Chester the Cynical Adult" is from a comedy segment played on NPR a while back. Here's the link. I didn't really set out to make him a cynic or a misanthrope. I just wanted to make him mean.
592121
"Warning: This story may offend the following: ... -Killjoy (Author of Three of Me: School Society)"
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ALL OF MY WANT...and I thought I was the only one who disliked his...ahem...'story'.
It's about damn time somebody made a story using Chester the Cynical Adult.
The list of people this story may offend is all it takes to make me wanna read it.
Lol I'm liking the story so far. Though you made a few mistakes like having spike say "Why on earth" and you said that Twilight "planted her feet, and bowed her head"
I can't wait for the next chapter.
Though I am pretty concerned for all of Equestria. I wonder if Chester the moles- the cynical adult will change his ways and become nice or if he will just continue to punt random animals. lol.
Obsidian, if you're still reading this, you deserve a prize or something. Here, I baked you some muffins. They're muffin flavored.
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...
Chester, you better not give us all a bad image.
I am about to punch a hole in my computer in an attempt to hit Chester. *pulls hair out* No one can be this cynical! I hate the world, yet I don't go around announcing it!
627942 Prepare to be disappointed. It's only going to get worse from here on out.
628041 Oh god.
So far I'm loving Chester.
Please don't make him good in later chapters. I love a good old jerk in any fiction, and Chester is now one of my favorites.
I reward you with mustaches my good sir. Enjoy!!!!
627689 My computer is finally working again, and all's I can say, is I love it. This is freaking hilarious. Anyway, if you want to offend me, You'll have to do better. Search deep within yourself. I'll be waiting. MWuahahaha
638555 Oh Obsidian, I've failed you!
I'll try harder next chapter, I promise!
638582 It's ok man. I can see you're trying your hardest. It's just so funny. I have a line, and when you cross it, I'll let you know. I promise.
*pounding on desk laughing* Oh god, this pushes all the right buttons when it comes to my inner troll...
And for once, I can't find something in here that offends me!!!!
O W8....
655944 I'll add you to my "Offend at all costs" list.
OFFEND AT ALL COSTS
-Obsidian of Borg
-Cry Havoc
Dammit. F*** this guy. Twilight should evicerate him. Not Chester, he seems nice. This Obsardine of Bung guy.
663951 Nope. Obsidian is best pony.
664655
I was talking about his evil-goatee-verse doppelganger. Obsardine is worst goat.
Two things.
1) Chester's dialogue in this chapter was the funnest thing I've ever written.
2) Chester will not destroy the world. That would be a stupid ending, and you're stupid for thinking it.
Gay horse sandwich? It must taste delicious.
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The power of the troll is strong in this one.
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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
And may I point out, good sir, that I am once again NOT offended!!! Your little plan... HAS FAILED!!!!!! Muahhahahaha... Ahahaha.....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!
*strokes cat whilst puffing on a cigar, goose-stepping, yelling "OF COURSE!!!" and chopping down a rainforest*
oh hell no. I demand you make it so chester controls this anger, releases discord, and unleashes hilarious chaos upon the land. and pinkie would be their assistant... I believe the land is overdue for some chocolate rain
I'm stealing the puppy threat....
but your getting into my favorites because of it soooooo.....congratulations.
Im not cynical i just hate all you fuckers
Aghhh... I need to hire Pinkie to break the fourth wall and let me into this story. I will kick the shit out of Chester. Of all the people to go to their world, lol.
Hey, It's me, Obsidian of Borg. Anyway, you came pretty close to offending me with the puppy thing. You're getting closer!
674756 Yay! Progress!
672605 No. Already wrote the ending. So no. Go lick some paint, I hear it's delicious.
686777 alright wrote the ending.... yet didnt post another chapter.... Eeyup, a cynical brony has been spotted... never thought i'd find one