The Princess of Pool
Berry Punch’s grin had not faded in the slightest since our arrival, but then she had another feather for her wall. Seeing one of my lavender secondaries on a plaque behind the bar always put my teeth on edge. I understood in the abstract that to Berry I was Princess first and Twilight second, but that made it no less unsettling. In a way it lessened the bar in my eyes, Berry’s was special because of all the memories my friends and I had made there, not just because I had been there.
Still, I hadn’t found a reason to say no in time when asked and it was easy enough to wave it off in time. She’d never acquire a second; after all there was no logical reason for another Princess to visit Berry’s. Alas, that logic had proved to be in error, as fifteen minutes ago a single, impossible, white secondary feather had joined mine on the plaque.
The bar was quiet and dim, filled with the comforting scent of woodsmoke and the low buzz of conversation. Berry had few regulars on a Thursday evening and those who had braved the winter chill kept to their cups, leaving our little group well alone. I couldn’t blame them. First, nopony got near Pinkie Pie when she had a pool cue in her grasp, and second, well...
A crack echoed through the room as ivory struck ivory and Celestia let out a miniscule huff of annoyance as the eight ball bounced off the cushion. Applejack let out a throaty chuckle and ambled over to the table.
“Well, a mighty fine effort there Princess,” she said, smirking. “But Ah reck’n you haven’t quite knocked all the rust off yet.” With a flick of her hoof she lined up an easy shot on the corner pocket and sunk the eight-ball with a swift, sharp tap. “Ah think that means you owe us another round.”
There was something deeply unsettling about seeing Princess Celestia playing pool. She was a creature of marble halls, to be surrounded by stained glass and elegant tapestries. There was no world in which a creature of such grace and beauty stood in a dimly lit taproom—head slightly bowed due to a low hanging lamp—scowling at a faded pool table. I would have declared it impossible, no more likely than finding a van Goat hanging in an outhouse. Ponyville had a way of stretching impossibilities to their breaking point.
Princess Celestia shook herself. “Indeed. Ms Berry, another round for my friends please!” she called out, her voice cutting through the low buzz of conversation. “And mine should be a double, I think. It seems my luck has deserted me for the evening.”
“Oh shoot, Princess,” Applejack said, doffing her hat. “Ah’m sure it’ll pick up again soon. What do you say to a third time?”
A tiny frown crossed the Princess’ face and I fought down the urge to snap at Applejack for putting her on the spot.
“I’m sure the Princess has had enough for one evening,” I cut in briskly, stepping forwards. With a little luck we could wrap the ‘night on the town’ up before ten. If I could get her back to the castle in seven minutes we would still have time to go through the new translation matrices that I’d been working on for modeling high speed particles.
“No, I think one more,” Princess Celestia interjected, blocking me with a wing. “I need to win back some dignity tonight, not to mention maintain the royal finances. On that note, Applejack, what do you say about making our next game more interesting than just the price of a few cocktails?”
Applejack smiled, leaning her cue against her shoulder. “Oh shoot, Princess, my granny raised me better than that.” A broad smirk spread across her face. “Something about not taking candy from foals or some such.”
My jaw dropped. In Court a pony could lose their career for such a slight. I opened my mouth to protest but Princess Celestia got there first.
Her laugh was clear and pure, cutting across the bar like a struck bell. “Oh, I do believe those are, as they say, fighting words, Applejack.”
“Hey, what are we laughing about?” Pinkie Pie cut in, bounding back over with a tray of drinks balanced on one upturned hoof.
“Oh, just the Princess getting too big for her britches,” Applejack said, chuckling. She took her drink from the tray, a tiny glass of something she insisted was made from apples—well mostly apples—though I nursed the theory it was paint stripper.
I tried to ignore the remainder of the tray, even as I levitated off my peach cider. Pinkie’s enormous ice cream sundae, complete with licorice and bourbon glaze that tasted about as good as it sounds, was one of those oddities that I’d grown accustomed to. My mind kept skipping off the brightly coloured cocktail, however. Princess Celestia drank only the finest wines, not Grasshoppers, or she should have. At least I’d managed to expunge the memory of her suggesting she order a Screaming–
I took a deep gulp of my cider as I stamped down on that thought. There were some words you never wanted to hear from your Princess’ lips.
“Um, Applejack,” Pinkie stage whispered, holding up a hoof to shield her mouth from Princess Celestia. “The Princess isn’t wearing any britches.”
Applejack shot her a flat look and declined to dignify that with a response.
“My lack of pants notwithstanding,” Princess Celestia continued, a soft smile on her face. “I believe that I must ask you to put your money where your mouth is. Let us say... fifty bits.”
“Let's say a hundred, if you’re so keen on giving away your money,” Applejack shot back, knocking back her shot. “Ah’m thinking Team Pony’s on a hot streak.”
“Applejack,” I cut in, stepping around Celestia. “Can I talk to you for a moment?” I didn’t wait for a reply and seized the tip of Applejack’s ear in my magic, dragging her over to the bar.
“What are you doing?” I hissed, once I was sure we were out of earshot.
Applejack rubbed her head and shrugged. “Well, Ah was angling for a little tax rebate. Boy howdy, she may raise the sun but our Celestia stinks at pool.”
I felt my ear twitch. “You can't gamble with the Princess!” I exclaimed, stamping a forehoof.
“Oh come on, Twi,” she said, putting a hoof on my shoulder. “We play pool all the time. It ain't so different. Just relax and enjoy it, Celestia seems to be managing.”
“And I said oatmeal, are you crazy?” Pinkie’s voice and an accompanying polite titter from Princess Celestia drifted across the bar. I ignored them.
“Look, Applejack,” I pressed, pushing her hoof off of me. “You can’t fleece Celestia out of her money, you just can’t. It’s beneath her dignity.”
Applejack cocked an eyebrow for me. “Ah would have thought that’s something for her to decide. Besides, everypony loses a little money gambling in the bar now and again, it’s part of the experience.”
I bit back a retort that Princess Celestia wasn’t even supposed to be experiencing any of this. That perhaps I understood what the Princess should and shouldn’t be doing a little more than Applejack. That we were undermining a century of royal authority just by being here and probably traumatising the Princess of the Sun.
“Twilight, are you almost finished trying to talk Applejack out of losing?” Celestia enquired from just behind my shoulder. I leapt in surprise.
“P– Celestia. I didn’t... I mean,” I sputtered.
Applejack just laughed. “She’s trying your Highness, and Ah’ll be honest, if this is stressing out Twi so much, maybe we should just let it be.”
A disappointed frown crossed Princess Celestia’s face, but it vanished in a moment. “Oh, well that is probably for the best. As it turns out I don’t have a hundred bits on me.”
“Ack! Let’s not say that too loud now,” I cut in, visions of the Equestrian economy crumbling around our ears if it got out that Princess Celestia didn’t have pocket change. “How about we just accept Pony-Princess two-nil and head back to the castle?”
“I suppose,” Princess Celestia said, letting out a sigh.
I was unable to keep the relieved grin off of my face. At last, progress.
“Oh!” Princess Celestia’s face lit up as a thought occurred to her. “But I do have this.” She levitated the slim presence crown from her head and placed it on the bar. “I think this should more than cover a hundred bit bet, wouldn’t you say Applejack?”
My jaw dropped. The crown was a slim band of white gold with a plumb sized solar ruby set at the centre. It was not the formal crown of state but that hardly made a difference. My treacherous brain duly added up the numbers and estimated it to be worth more than forty thousand bits to the right collector. Applejack could have bought half of Sweet Apple Acres with that kind of money.
For a moment you could have heard a pin drop in the bar. Applejack broke the silence first with a long whistle.
“Phew~we, that’s Tartarus’ own offer there, Princess.”
“Oh my gosh!” Pinkie exclaimed, racing to the bar and stopping so suddenly her whole body shuddered. “It’s so pretty. Applejack, you’ve got to take this bet!”
“Now hold your horses Pinkie,” Applejack interjected, pushing Pinkie back a step and fixing the crown with a glare. “My granny always warned me about taking deals that look too good to be true.”
“And my granny always said, ‘Don’t look a pony giving you gifts in the mouth, Pinkie, because that’s just rude’. Also, she told me to ‘Carpe jugulum’!” She grabbed Applejack by the shoulders and dragged her forward until their faces were a mere centimeter apart. “You know what that means? Seize the day, Applejack! Seize the day!”
I declined to correct her ancient unicornian. The more I learned about granny Pie, the less I wanted to know.
Applejack pushed her off. “Okay, okay. Ah suppose Ah’ll do it. Apple Bloom has always wanted a tiara of her own, anyway.” She reached under her hat and withdrew a felt purse. Weighing it in one hoof for a moment, she tossed it onto the bar. “Right. Berry, if’n you’ll just keep an eye on these.”
Berry nodded enthusiastically and set her cudgel, Peacemaker, on the bar. She glared at all the other patrons with a wary intensity that would have put half the Royal Guard to shame.
“Come on,” Pinkie exclaimed, bounding over to the table. “Let’s do this.” She began to rack-up the balls with blinding speed. I intercepted Princess Celestia as she made her way towards the scene.
“P– Celestia,” I hissed, catching her foreleg with my own. A hint of panic had crept into my voice. “What are you doing?”
She smiled, gazing down at me. “Just having, as my sister would say, some ‘fun’.”
“Fun?” I echoed, my ear twitching again. “P– Celestia, you’re gambling with your crown. No, you’re going to lose your crown in a pool game. Don’t you see what’s wrong with this picture?”
“Relax, Twilight,” she said, her enigmatic smile widening. “It's just a crown.”
“But you don’t gamble,” I pressed, my grip tightening around her fetlock. “You’ve never done anything like this as long as I’ve known you.”
For just a moment, a shadow passed across Princess Celestia’s face. “Well, perhaps it’s time to change that. Relax Twilight, I know what I’m doing. I have to be lucky eventually after all.”
She stepped out of my grip and glided over to the table.
“That’s the gambler's fallacy,” I called after her. “Something that you taught me about!”
“Oh, don’t be a spoil sport bringing fancy math into this, Twi,” Applejack said, as she handed me a cue. “Now are you going to break, or do you want Team Pony to lead off?”
I glanced over my shoulder at Princess Celestia. She was paying no attention to us, however, too busy attempting to chalk up her cue. Judging by the alarming shade of blue the tip was going, she wasn’t going to stop until she had a full pound of dust on it.
Fighting down a shudder I turned back to Applejack. It was clear that Princess Celestia had gone insane and it was going to fall upon me, once again, to save Equestria. Reason and common sense had failed to win over the forces arrayed against me. So, to prevent a fatal loss of royal dignity that could undermine the very fabric of modern society, I was going to have to win a pool game despite Princess Celestia’s best efforts.
“I think Pinkie would enjoy breaking,” I said, a sly smile creeping across my face.
“Oh boy, would I!” Pinkie exclaimed. With far more enthusiasm than good sense, Pinkie reared back and in a single wild motion, slammed her cue into the white ball. The ball went sideways, ricocheted off a cushion, briefly caught air, and then slammed down onto the rack, scattering the balls across the table. Not a single one went down a pocket.
It was a fair start for Pinkie, at least this time she’d managed to keep all the balls on the table. Applejack pressed a hoof against her head and muttered under her breath.
Advantage to Team Princess it seemed.
I cast a quick eye across the table, estimating the best set of plays. The key was going to be keeping Applejack from achieving much while accepting Princess Celestia’s turns as a loss. My mentor was not a natural at the game, missing simple plays and going for wild long shots that succeeded far more due to luck than actual skill. As such, the logical solution would be to ensure I sabotaged Applejack’s shots, rather than push for a risky victory.
Picking the easier colour I swiftly sank two balls. My third shot was a little too optimistic and the nine ball bounced off of a cushion, the white spinning away into the middle of the table. I let out a groan as Applejack sauntered up to the table.
“Nice start Twi, gonna need more than that though.”
Applejack’s style of play was simple and honest, taking the easiest shot and setting herself up for the next with the minimum of fuss. With mechanical efficiency she potted three balls before finally coming up short on a tricky slice. Shaking her head, she stepped away from the table as Princess Celestia stepped forwards.
“Hmm, sorry, what colour where we going for again Twilight?” Celestia inquired, frowning at the table.
I managed to keep the horror from my face, even as Pinkie Pie broke out into giggles. “Stripes, P– Celestia,” I said. “Just the stripes.”
She smiled. “Ah, that’s right. Forgive an old mare for her absent mindedness.” She blew on the tip of her cue and took a wild shot at a distant ball. The white missed, bouncing off two cushions before somehow finding its way to strike the eleven ball. Miraculously, it dropped into a side pocket with a thunk.
Princess Celestia let out a delighted laugh. “Ah ha, there’s my beginners luck back,” she said, beaming.
Beside me, Applejack dropped her hat over her face to hide her smirk. “Reckon you’re not the only pony in town to have a crown in a few minutes,” she muttered to me, pitched low enough that Princess Celestia couldn’t hear.
Before I could answer there was an awful ‘twang’ from the table as Princess Celestia miscued and the white ball spiralled into a pocket. I groaned as Princess Celestia stepped back, frowning at her cue.
“Not enough chalk I guess,” she said, sighing. She glanced down at me and frowned. “Twilight, you shouldn’t worry so much, it’s only a game.”
“Only a game?” I echoed, a hysterical lilt creeping into my voice. “Princess. You could lose your crown!”
She laughed, even as Pinkie potted a ball. “I have a lot of crowns, Twilight. Relax. I know what I’m doing.”
The evidence suggested otherwise. Before I could verbalise that, however, there was a sudden crack and I had to catch the white ball as it leapt off of the table and towards my nose.
“Sorry Twilight!” Pinkie called, bounding around the table. “That last one was just a little bit tricky.”
I rolled my eyes and stormed up to the table. Team Princess was one down, a bad start but not impossible to overcome, and I slammed the ball onto the table. I couldn’t allow Princess Celestia to lose her crown, I just couldn’t. Perhaps nopony else cared about royal dignity but I would fight to the last to defend it.
My first shot was far too aggressive and, though the ball slammed into the pocket, the white went spinning halfway across the table. With a rattle of faux ivory it scattered the rest of the balls, setting me up for a incredibly tricky shot right up against the cushions. For a moment I considered whether time travel would be an appropriate response. Alas, ponies frowned upon that kind of magic in pool games, as well as teleportation, accuracy charms and telekinesis. The low hanging lamp was even charmed to prevent such cheating, though, it was a cheap charm and easy enough to circumvent.
I shook myself, trying to banish that train of thought. Even if nopony noticed, I would. Instead I took a deep breath and took the longshot, which missed utterly. Hanging my head I stepped back from the table.
Applejack sauntered up, eyeing the remaining four balls with a slight frown, and then smiled as she spotted an easy shot. With the metronomic regularity of apple bucking, three solid thunks rang out as she sank ball after ball, leaving her with just the eight remaining. My heart leapt to my throat as she took that final shot, but with four stripes to work around it wasn’t a simple one. Applejack rattled the two ball off the edges of the corner pocket and the faint hope for saving Celestia’s crown remained alive for another round.
“Twilight,” Celestia whispered, leaning down to put her head by my ear. “Breathe. It’ll be fine.” She wore a serene smile as she took up position by the table.
I took a shaky breath. We were doomed. Royalty in Equestria would be dead within three minutes and it would all be my fault. I put my wing over my eyes, unable to watch Princess Celestia’s crown slip away.
Crack—ka’thunk.
Hesitantly I peeked over my feathers. Princess Celestia was smirking, even as Applejack scowled at the table.
“Lucky shot,” Applejack muttered.
“Perhaps, though perhaps my luck is here to stay,” Princess Celestia replied. She glided around the table, lining up a tricky long shot on the thirteen. Putting a measure of spin onto the white ball, the Princess made it dance, sending the white sliding around the two and with another ‘crack—ka’thunk’ the thirteen vanished into the pocket. As if summoned, the white came to rest before Princess Celestia, whose grin had become decidedly smug.
“Of course, as I’ve always said one should make one’s own luck.”
She made her next shot without hesitation, sending the white gliding across the table. With a pair of rapid-fire cracks it struck the final two striped balls, which disappeared down the side-pockets leaving only the eight ball still to pot. Princess Celestia paused a moment to admire Applejack’s dropped jaw, before sighting down the length of her cue.
“Eight ball, in this pocket,” she said, pointing at the corner pocket the furthest from the ball.
Another crack echoed through the silent bar. The white ball sailed across the table striking the eight perfectly and, after a single bounce of the far cushion, it dropped into the named pocked with a satisfying clunk.
“And that’s the game,” Princess Celestia said, leaning her cue against her shoulder. “Care to make it double or nothing?”
Applejack shook herself, unable to tear her eyes from the table. “Holy hay,” she exclaimed. “Did Ah just get hustled by a princess?”
The world seemed to shift beneath my hooves. My throat was suddenly dry as the desert and my ears pressed flat against my head.
“By the Princess of Pool, specifically.” Princess Celestia smirked, it was an alien expression and only served to swell my rising panic. “Or at least that was what they called me back in eight-eighty two.”
“Well shut my mouth.” Applejack tipped her hat in respect. “Who’d have thought our Princess is a regular old pool shark.”
I opened my mouth to leap to the Princess’ defence but was cut off by a delicate laugh.
“Oh you flatter me,” Celestia said, waving off the insult as if it were nothing. Her horn flared and her crown and and Applejack’s bag of bits floated over from the bar. “I’m sure there’s Manhattanites who’d beat me with one hoof tied behind their backs. Still, it’s nice to know I’ve still got the knack. I don’t think I’ve had the chance to pick up a cue since I won the land grant for Ponyville off of the Duke of Trottingham back in your great-grandparents time. He fell for a similar trick.”
“You what!” I exclaimed, vanishing in a flash of light and reappearing before the Princess. I grabbed her by the shoulders, as if trying to assure myself that it was really her in front of me. “You, you, tricked a stallion out of Ponyville? How?”
Princess Celestia smiled. “The usual way. Offer the world in exchange for a sure thing and a pony will bet their own mother, and I did offer the good Duke Canterlot in exchange.”
My eyes shrank down to pinpricks and I staggered backwards, the world vanishing in a haze of grey as I began to hyperventilate. This couldn’t be happening. Princess Celestia never gambled. She never lied. She never drank.
“Twilight? Whatever is the matter?”
I looked up at Princess Celestia, saw the confusion and hurt writ across her face, and had to get out.
My magic flared and, in a shower of pink sparks I was outside, staring at Berry’s door. I stood frozen for a moment, my breath coming in ragged gasps, before I whirled and began to gallop away from the pub.
Princess Celestia’s arrival was blinding, magic rolling off her radiant form in waves as she teleported into the street before me.
“Twilight!” she boomed, casting around. “Wait.”
I dropped to the floor, covering my eyes with my forehooves and wings as memories of the ‘Smartypants Incident’ came rushing back. “I’m sorry, Princess!” I exclaimed. “I’m sorry I didn’t believe you. I’m sorry I...” I choked, trying to fight back tears.
“Stop.”
The words tumbling from my mouth stilled.
“Twilight,” she interjected in little more than a whisper. “Please, tell me what is wrong.”
I pulled my wings back. “I... I failed your test.” Seeing the Princess’ confusion I swallowed the lump in my throat and continued in a rush. “Because it had to be a test. You don’t do that–” I waved a hoof in the direction of Berry’s. “–you don’t do any of that!”
Princess Celestia let out a deep sigh that made my heart shrivel. “Oh Twilight, I’m so sorry. Please, stand up.” Her magic wreathed me, a comforting warmth that tickled my belly as she lifted me back onto my hooves. “You haven’t failed anything. There was no test.”
“W-w-what?” I blinked owlishly, struggling to believe my ears. “No test? I don’t understand.”
“Twilight.” Princess Celestia hung her head, the etherial winds that payed around her mane falling still. “Dear Twilight, is it so hard to believe that I just wanted to play a game of pool?”
I stared. “Yes! Yes it is. The game, the drinking, even the feather, they’re not you. They’re something the Princess Celestia I know would never do.”
A bitter chuckle escaped the Princess. “Never is a very, very long time Twilight. And I am a very, very old mare. There are few things that I have never been.”
She let out a deep breath and shook her head, her wings sagging at her sides. I’ve seen many terrible things in my time, but never before had I seen a pony seem so crushed by the weight of the world as Celestia did in that moment. And she was Celestia then, not the perfect Princess and mentor of my youth, just another pony.
I wondered how long it had been since a pony had ever seen her as more than the Crown. Equestria’s living idol. A porcelain doll. Perfect, unmarred by the world and to be protected from all its ills.
“Princess, I–” I began, immediately saying the wrong word.
“No Twilight,” she interrupted, straightening. As sudden as the moment of vulnerability had come it was gone again, vanished behind a wall of dignity. “If you’ll forgive me, I think that the alcohol has rather gone to my head. I should be going before Equestria ends up with the sun rising in the south again.”
“But, Celestia–” I stammered, leaping forwards before it was too late.
“It has been a pleasure, Twilight.” she said, with her standard warm smile. She held up a hoof to forestall me and I skidded to a stop. “We must do this again.”
Before I could say another word Celestia spread her wings and leapt into the sky. In a blaze of sunlight and magic she vanished into the night leaving me alone in the darkened street.
“–I... I’m sorry,” I finished lamely. Groaning I pressed my hoof to my head. “Urgh, stupid, stupid Twilight.” I punctuated each word with a harsh rap.
“Hey Twi, what’s going on out here?” Applejack’s drawl cut through the still air and jolted me out of my bout of self recrimination. She ambled over, Pinkie in tow. “What happened to Celestia? Last I saw she was chasing after you after you lit outta Berry’s faster than Opal in room full of rocking chairs.”
“She’s gone, Applejack,” I said with a deep sigh, tearing stinging my eyes. “Back to Canterlot I suppose.”
“Aww,” Pinkie added, bounding over. “I wanted to see if she knew any trick shots.” She paused next to me, cocking her head. “Twilight, what’s wrong?”
“I messed up.” I hung my head, swallowing the lump in my throat. “I think I really hurt her feelings this time. She must be so disappointed in me.”
Applejack put a solid hoof on my shoulder. “Twi, that mare has known you since you were knee high. Ah don’t think there’s a thing in the world you could say to the Princess that she wouldn’t forgive.”
I let out a bitter laugh. “She always does. I’m not sure it’s Princess Celestia I hurt, though.”
Pinkie and Applejack shared a knowing smile. “Well, sugarcube, it may not be mah lucky day, but it is yours. Ah know just how you can fix this.”
Celestia landed on her balcony with the grace of long practice, folding her wings at her sides. A deep sigh escaped her as she trod the familiar path across her darkened office and towards her private chambers. There would be no late night paperwork or midnight snack for once, lethargy dogged her step and she wanted nothing more than to drag herself into bed.
“You are back early, sister,” Luna observed.
“Eek!” Celestia shied back, with an unprincessly shriek.
Luna kindled her horn, banishing the pool of shadow that had wreathed her and the desk. She cocked a brow at her sister, sipping from a deep cup of coffee.
“Oh, Luna, you startled me.” Celestia let out a deep breath. “Were you reading in the dark again? I’ve told you before, it will ruin your eyes.”
“I am the Princess of the Night, sister,” Luna replied, fixing her with a flat look. “We doubt a little darkness will trouble us.” She glanced up at the clock. “You are back early, I was under the impression that you intended to carouse until dawn.”
Celestia covered her eyes with a fetlock. “Not ‘carousing’, sister. It was just drinks with Twilight and her friends, and a game or two of pool. ”
“Oh.” Luna cast an eye over her sister. “You do not appear to have been swimming.”
“Swimming...” Celestia shook herself. “Luna, you did read that book I recommended you, ‘Funnelcakes’ Fun Fundamentals’?”
“I skimmed it. It was a remarkably dry read.”
Celestia sighed, rolling her eyes. “Look up ‘pool’ sometime. Now, if you’ll excuse me I’m going to bed. It has been a very long day, I’m afraid.”
“Oh? Perhaps you would prefer to receive your mail before you do.” Luna lifted a scroll in her magic and waved it at Celestia. “I think you might be pleasantly surprised.”
“If it's about the flightpath for Cloudsdale again I–”
“Actually it came from Sir Spike,” Luna interjected. “Though, I don’t believe he realises I receive these scrolls in the moonlit hours.”
Celestia frowned. “I’m afraid I’ve laid too much at my faithful student's hooves tonight as it is. I’ll read it it the morning.”
Luna glared at her, a look Celestia bore with quiet serenity.
“Oh, pull the stick out of your plot and just read it already,” Luna snapped at last, tossing the scroll at her sister.
It bounced off Celestia’s head before she caught it in a shower of magic. Sticking her tongue out at her sister she unfurled the scroll.
Celestia,
Are you free the same time next week for the rematch?
Twilight
Her smile lit up the room.
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This was a good read. Not to mention, it was one of the better stories about Celestia I've read in a while. You deserve a like and one of these:
Fucking kek it was so obvious that Celestia was gonna hustle Applejack. Nicely done, was a good read.
Can we get a sequel where Luna has invented snooker because she always does everything differently than her sister?
Really sweet and funny. Always a treat seeing Celestia simply hanging out with the Mane 6 as friends.
I'd like to see Celestia teach Luna the pool ropes.
It is an interesting take on the dicotomy between how Celestia is seen by the populace (and by Twilight, that is increased by being her mentor and a mother-figure) - a perfect untouchable goddess-liek being - and how she wished to be seen - a pony like any other.
Not bad.
Describing the shots and atmosphere of the match felt very natural. Hard thing to do, I should think.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Well folks, ya got trouble right here in Ponyville. With a capital T, and that rhymes with P...
I see what you did there.
I see what else you did there.
Laying 'em on a bit thick, aren't we?
Two Pratchett references in 5,000 words is a fine density.
I like stories about Twilight learning to treat Celestia is an actual pony, and this is a good one.
Yeah, saw the hustle coming.
Also considering Celestia is over a thousand years old and Twilight has been alive for a tiny fraction of that, it's pretty presumptuous to think she knows what Celestia would never do. But I guess she always put the princess on a pedestal.
Still, I had fun with the story. Good going!
Now I want to see Celestia against Pinkie.
Using Mustrum Ridcully rules.
Should we make absolutely sure that Twilight is nowhere near that game at all, given Pinkie will be breaking the magical cheats as well?
7034766 Came here for this comment.
Aaww but reading in the dark is fun!
Anyway, this was a nice little story. Wish I could see that rematch though...
Hmmm. I find myself conflicted. On the one hand your repeated references to the Supreme Author and Wordsmith have pleased me greatly, on the other hand they're a touch thick and fast. I'm going to go with pleased. An excellent story, and I've always been in favour of Applejack knowing about drinks made from apples (well, mostly apples).
My avatar has decided that you deserve a favourite.
This shows how often the ones closest to us understand us the least. It's been established since the first episode that Celestia does gamble, with the highest of stakes, and with ponies instead of pool balls. Now, she's not a reckless gambler, and she takes great care to stack the deck in her favor and prepare everything in advance, but in the end, she will roll the dice and trust that they come up all suns for Equestria.
7035450
I read that and thought - who could you -
Ahh, yes.
As for the story...
I came for the delightful little references, but stayed for the surprisingly well written characters. Twilight manages to be a totally believiable villian-protgaonist of sorts, to the point of being frustrating and annoying, but in a way that does so nicely to bring us to the conclusion.
I'm really glad I stopped by this one - it's well worth the read.
Y'know, Celestia could've just said that she was playing billiards and Luna probably would have gotten it.
Just saying.
7033110 Thanks, glad you had fun.
7033271 Heh, got to love the old cons. Snooker I don't know, Luna strikes me as the bowling type for some reason.
7033675 "And why is the black ball so maligned sister?"
"Urgh, not this again."
7033935 Thanks. I thought it would be a fun take on immortality as seen from the outside.
7034597 God yes, extra thanks go to docontra for making sure all the numbers added up in this one.
7034766 Huh, that second one was unintentional. No appologies for the other two
7034971 Glad you had fun.
7035259 Yeah, it's easy done though. Twilight has seen just one Celestia for her whole life, it's easy to assume that that Celestia is the only one that has ever existed, even if it is like assuming teachers live in the school.
7035380 "Pinkie, it's traditional not to move the holes midgame."
7035395 They put Pinkie and Celestia on the same team, it didn't end well for spacetime.
7035450 Awesome, thanks a lot.
7036182 Very true. Its funny but from Twilight's perspective the risks Celestia takes must seem very minor as it all works out for the best, even though in reality she's dicing with the fate of the kingdom.
7036184 And I'm very glad you stopped by. Twilight's always my favorite when she's working against herself too.
7036219 I imagine Luna as being from wa~ay further back in history than that, though that's just me.
Anyone else think of The Prince of Tennis upon reading the title?
7035395
I suspect Pinkie's been holding back all this time so she can hustle a princess in the rematch.
So, does Tia have a niece in Bel-Mare? Because Celestia is best Uncle Phil.
7036513
Yes - it was very well handled! Doubley frustrating (in the good , must-keep-reading way is that she completely acknowledges the exact same predilection at the very start of the story. Twilight knows 2+2, surely, if only she'd think to add them!
Likewise, Celestia really comes across as, well - comfortable in her own skin. You play off her age as a legitimate, "been there, done that, got the crown" circumstance without spiralling into "woe is immortality" territory. She's lived long enough to get here, which also means she's lived long enough - presumeably - to figure stuff out and establish some kind of inner peace.
Applejack, too, deserves a mention of love - not sure if it was intended in the writing or not, but she really came across to me as being in the know - she's fully aware what's going on with Celestia's reasoning and decision making, and is giving her a good evening. Personally, I almost think she knowingly got herself shark'd just so Celestia could have the oppurtunity of doing it. Applejack's kinda great like that.
Imagine this, but with them :
7036184
Believe it or not, the very best authors on this site tend to be massive fans of the Wordsmith. Georg, The Descendant, Ghost Of Heraclitus, Pen Mightier, all are fans of the great Sir Terry Pratchett. The reason that no one dares try to truly emulate him is that they don't think they'd live up to the standard of a man who in his prime could make words stand up and dance to his tune. Or so they've told me anyway. I myself tried to write a story where Celestia and Vetinari simply stare at each other for half an hour. And another where Mister Vimes sneers at the royal guard in general (in their shiny, golden, undented armour) and Shining Armour in particular for not being a Suspicious Bastard. And another about Granny Weatherwax teaching Fluttershy how to stare (it's one thing to have animals obey you, it's another to have local geography optimise itself for your convienience). But I'm too whimsical to stick with a plot for more than a week, and I can't live up to what I feel is the standard of the greatest author of our generation either.
7037147
I've...actually had people describe my writing as reminiscent of STP on two seperate occasions, when they had no way of knowing I was a so-massive-as-to-be-approaching-critical-mass fan of Discworld (and Nation. And Bromeliad. And the Johnny series . And...). Very special moments for me.
And that was before I met people who appeared in the books.
I've met people for long hours' discussions who were personal friends of Terry's (the sort of people who thought of him as just that - when the rest of us think of him as The Creator, The Man In The Hat, or STP) so...sufficed to say... I don't worship the man, as I respect him too much for that.
I think in your case - in many cases: because we're all really just the same monkeys at our typerwriters - attempting to reproduce Shakespeare for eternity, or at least until the bananas run out and the keys get jammed up with poo...the important thing isn't to try to be great through your writing, no, it is to just try and have great fun with your writing.
It is, after all, the most fun thing a person can do by themselves.
GNU STP
I wasn't expecting the strike to my feels, and this pleases me! Everyone needs to let their mane down sometime, especially Princesses.
7036513
BOWLING NIGHT! Please! Please make that a sequel to this story!
I liked this. It was touching, especially towards the end. It was also funny too with Twilight freaking out like that about Celestia. It makes it hard to classify in my library.
I think what I enjoyed the most about this story is that it's simple. There is no grand plot, no dastardly villain, no untold magical power putting the world at risk. It was a simple, masterly crafted story about four mares, a pool table, and hustling. I guess if you wanted to get a little deep on it, then there is a lesson there about judging books by their covers. But it was a simple, utterly fun story that I think everyone needs every once and a while, to just calm things down.
Thank you so much for writing and sharing this story. It was a pleasure to read.
7037971 I actually have Luna pinned as a card shark. Slight of hand - slight of dreams kinda thing.
Man... Twilight has got some serious PTSD... Like, seriously... She needs to see someone about the obvious mental trauma she has from her idolization of her mentor...
7037997 Agreed! I could not in any way have said it better!
Cute and fun, bravo.
Dammit, billy, you promised me a wacky story about Celestia being terrible at pool! Now give me my heart back before you break it or something.
See Twilight, that's the problem, you only know one or two sides of her... there's a lot more there then you know or will let yourself believe.
7036582
You figured out her plan!
Seriously though, I could totally see that.
7036681 It's an old trick, but a good one for deflating a few egos.
7037028
Great to hear you liked the feather alusion. It was one of those bits that was tricky to make work but I really liked how it highlighted Twilight's cognative disonance.
Well she's had a lot of time to get used to it. Actually, one of the things I didn't dwell on, as this was Twilight's story, but want to use for another story is the sense of how much Celestia has changed since the days where she was 'Princess of Pool' and how much room there is to change in an imortal being. Celestia gets up as immutable in a lot of stories but I find it far more interesting to imagine a chracter who's been everything in her life, from Knight to drunk, from Princess to peasent.
Well, she might not have seen the bait and switch coming. Still, she was far more aware that Celestia just wanted to relax than Twilight ever was.
7037147 Okay, some of those ideas are just brilliant. I wonder if Celestia and Granny Weatherwax know each other?
7037637 Aww, thanks a lot.
7037971 No promises on a sequel, but it would be a fun oneshot.
7037997 Thanks Lord-Commander. This was actually a bit of a jump for me as slice of life is not my usual genre, I end up writing the stories about the dastardly villain all too often, but I had a lot of fun with it. Sometimes the little dramas are the most entertaining.
BTW, great work on the Empress Rarity series. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
7038238 I could see her cheating well, but maybe not playing so well. Card games might be a little contemporary for Luna.
7038708 We have have our blinkers.
7038894 Thanks!
7039389 No, it's mine and I'm keeping it with all the others
7039447 Over a thousand years worth. Its a terrifying amout of life when you think about it.
That, i believe would be Carpe Diem, Pinkie.
7039606 I have no idea what that means...
7039570
If you want to have a go with any of them you're welcome to try, I look forward to seeing what you'll do with them.
Other ones that I've considered but haven't attempted include Ponder Stibbons and Twilight Sparkle getting excited at each other about thaums, Nanny Ogg teaching Applejack how to make a drink made from apples (well, mostly apples) and then teaching Pinkie Pie a song about Hedgehogs, then Co-rewriting another song about Wizards Staffs and how rounded they are, to detail how sharp a Unicorn's Horn is. Also a Wizzard and his travelling truck being chased by everything and its auntie, Sybil and Cadence meeting for tea to discuss the problem with husbands who work in homeland security, and finally a man in a gold suit showing a dragon how to play the people game and how to be attractive to ladies who wear tight black dresses and who smoke like a chimney (my favourite, hence the avatar).
I don't think they would you know. Granny Weatherwax doesn't do "nice", she'd see Equestria and get even worse tempered than normal. Although they both have sister troubles, admittedly from opposite sides of the coin. Celestia wanted to redeem her little sister after she went bad, Granny resented her older sister for going bad because then she had to be the good one by the rules of narrativitum, and she could have been so much worse than her sister if she'd just had the chance.
this was a satisfying read.
itude meter. I wonder what will happen next?
it had a good pace, the humor was subtle, but spot-on, it showed a little of Celestia's fun side (which i absolutely love, btw) and had a satisfying ending.
10/10 on the
well that was fun. i always enjoy a good story that shows Celestia's other side.
Nice, but I think it beneath Celestia to fleece ponies at eight-ball.
She's more of a 14-1 or snooker type of gal, in my reckoning.
7035259 not to mention that Celestia is more responsible than to do that stuff in front of a filly. Now that Twilight is grown Celestia is treating her like a mare.
7039687 nope. Try again.
I loved this! Appealed to my pony love and my love of pool. It was a great realization for twilight to see celestia in a new light.
Ah - the great "what casual game does Luna partake of" debate -
Ok, it's not actually a great debate... but only because it hasn't become one, yet!
So far I see Bowling Luna,
Card Shark* Luna,
and - if I may weigh in - I've always rather fancied the idea of Croquet Luna. More contributions to this, please!
*trivia time! Sharp, not shark, was the original term, and shark came about as a mutation on that. It's now just as / even more prominent then the original terminology and, in any case, is just as / even more appropriate a term for the concept anyway.
7039570
That's exactly the thing! It's easy to jump on the immortal angst trope - many do - but it only stands to reason that, if you have enough time to be a mope, then, you also have just as much time to come to terms with that.
And - with Luna and Twilight and Cadence all around - Celestia likely has more time than ever to relax the reigns a bit and do her own thing, whatever that may be.
This story had barely started and I figured that Celestia was going to be a pool shark. Well done.
7039911 Blinkers is something you put on a horse to restrict there vision, but in this case it's say that there's always a few things people struggle to see, even when it's right in front of their nose.
7039926 Heh, I quite like the dragon idea. As for Weatherwax and Celestia I can see them shooting sparks, but they both have their patch of reality they look over and though they definitely wont agree on how the other run's it I can see them trading war stories.
Acutally, as a side note I was just thinking how well the alicorns map to the witches. You've got Twilight the maiden, Cadence now the mother, Luna is the evil sister and that leaves Celestia as the, um, other one.
7039976 Glad you had fun. I'm imagining somthing like: "Sister let me make that clear. You lost Canterlot in a pool game to Pinkie Pie?"
7040088 Thanks, I always try and bring a different perspective to things.
7040617 Ah, but then they see it coming. Suggesting you play snooker makes you look competent.
7040978 Awesome, great to hear you enjoyed it.
7042189 Drinking games, lots and lots of drinking games. Actually I imagine quite a lot of martial games for Luna, things like jousting, axe throwing and all sorts of other things that terify the guard.
7042620 Heh, I hoped a few people would pick up on it early. Celestia wasn't exactly subtle, but you have to know what signs to look for.
Wait..... how come Applejack or Twilight fully seemed to come to grips that Pinkie Pie was the huge team liability that Twilight thought Celestia was. Plus can't really see how Celestia should have been disappointed at Twilight thinking that there was some hidden test in the whole thing. My mean really; Celestia has put Twilight through dozens of hidden test in canon. So it really shouldn't have disappointed her that much.
Also Celestia is best shark.
7039570 I think Pinkie can actually make just about any shot she wants. The problem she found was that if she did, nobody would play her anymore and those that did play her would always end up unhappy. So instead, she plays some crazy variety of snooker that only she knows the rules to, so that a close look at the crazy break will reveal that the 1, 2, 3, and 4 balls all ended up as the nearest balls to the four corner pockets after each bouncing off a single wall. All her other shots follow similarly strange rules, ensuring that she only wins enough to break even on drinks and snacks. Unless, of course, someone who could actually present a challenge comes along...
Of course, I also like to think that her father bought his rock farm after a mysterious youth spent in griffon and minotaur lands- a pony version of Shawn Kelvin from the short story "The Quiet Man".
"Caprpe jugulum?" Twilight's wrong, this only makes me want to know more about Pinkie's grandmother.
seize the jugular?
also very well written