Family
Kev set his cane against the tree in the front yard and, with great difficulty, knelt beside it. The gentle breeze sapping away the late afternoon’s warmth seemed to rustle every leaf in the forest. Not even a hurricane could drown out the sound of the neighborhood kids, of course. School was out, and they’d all flocked to the playground just down the tree-lined street. How their voices managed to carry so well through what was essentially a city in the middle of a forest still made Kev wonder.
He regarded the base of the tree, the spot where he’d buried Dana’s rings and Tam’s favorite toy. “Hey, Dana. It’s been a whole year today. Sorry I don’t stop by as often as I used to… life just keeps getting busy. I got promoted last week, and… you probably don’t want to hear about work, do you?”
The wind whistled by, and Kev found himself glancing at the leafy canopy above. “You’d love how this place looks in the spring. Heh, but you’d hate the hunting ban. That’s what happens when you live in Equestria: you go vegetarian. That’s even true if you’re in a nameless borderland town like this one. Even the local griffons can’t snap up anything bigger than a worm. Anyway, I just wanted to say… thanks for moving in with me. I know you didn’t have a choice, but it was great getting to help raise Tam for a while. Keep reminding Jerek how lucky he has it, having you two back. Thanks for convincing me to marry a pony, too. Sure it’s not what I planned on, but… That’s life, isn’t it? We don’t get to plan it all out; you just have to hope you have someone to go through it with. Speaking of ponies—” he held up a bouquet of daffodils “—I don’t want to keep her waiting.”
The house always looked so big to him, like he’d accidentally walked into the yard of someone more important than a manager at a small-time fruit cannery. He snuck along the side, deftly avoiding the high windows on the oversized front room. By now the little desks inside would be deserted, but one of Morning Dew’s fellow teachers could still spot him if they hadn’t left yet.
At last, he reached the building’s side door, the entryway to the humble living area that bordered the school house. His cane didn’t make sneaking any easier. He’d lost track of the times that these little surprises turned into Morning Dew finding him face-down in the flower beds. Not today. Today, he’d taken care with every hoof fall. It wasn’t every day that he came bearing a bouquet of her favorite flowers, after all.
The sound of sniffling stopped him at the threshold. He held up an ear and listened to what could only be one of the little griffon kids, unless there was also a pony with a beak in the class. He worked with a few ponies with horns or wings, but none with beaks.
“You promise?” the little griffon said.
Morning Dew’s soothing voice came next. “I promise there aren’t any monsters in the forest, Martha. The big kids were just trying to scare you.”
“But… What if there’s monsters out there and we just don’t know it?”
“I’ll tell you what: if you ever see a monster out there, we’ll get big Mr. K to take care of it. He’s really good at that.”
Martha giggled. “Mr. K? He can’t do that.”
“Why not?”
“He’s too nice to scare monsters away.”
“That’s exactly why he’s so good at it. Real strength comes from kindness, Martha, and Mr. K is the strongest minotaur in the world.”
“Really?”
“Really. Why don’t you run down the street to the park and play with your friends? Your mom and dad will be there soon.”
Kev stepped to the side and out of sight moments before a tiny griffon ran out the door with her wings spread wide. She’d be flying to the park instead of running in a matter of months. He’d settle for being able to run. Walking was enough of a challenge these days.
Morning Dew stuck her head around the corner and grinned. “And who do we have here?”
Kev stepped out of his hiding place with a smile. “Just big Mr. K, checking for monsters.”
She came closer, sniffed the air, and nudged the hand he’d hidden behind his back. “I see. That’s an awfully nice smelling—”
He picked her up in his arms, being careful to put the weight on his good leg. She laughed and wrapped her forelegs around his shoulders as the flowers flew everywhere.
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Daww.
We skipped a year forward?
That's a nice ending.
This was a very good story
I believe there should be a sequel :) Great story hope for more
-Scythe
Well, that was a thing. I'd call it a "fun read," but given the topic and themes of it all, that would feel kind of inappropriate, true as it is. This is one of those rare few stories I've read here where I honestly would've liked a sequel, in a way, but I understand that there's really not anything left to tell. The story part is over and now they're just living. Still, it was surprisingly easy to get attached to these characters, as short as the story was. You did a good job there.
Stupid carnophobic ponies and their racist anti-carnivore laws.
About damn time this amazing little gem got featured on the home page!
And now I'm sad that it's done
Hurk!
(clutches chest, cries out for more)
Thanks for sharing this with us. Definitely one of the more unique stories I've seen in a while.
Congratuhappylations! :D
This was a really nice story. I'm definitely gonna give you a follow, and hope for a sequel, even if it may be hard.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
Interspecies romance is relatively common on this site, but its hard to find a good one.
This is a good one.
Its romantic aspects are very subtle, and I like that. There's no kissing or "I love you" here, but the bond between Kev and Morning Dew is more memorable than many other more overt romances I've read. It helped that I actually cared about the cast.
The ending was really nice. The scars of the past weren't erased or neglected, but the ending is hopeful and happy without feeling sappy.
Thank you for writing.
6933577 My sentiments exactly. What people call "romance" and "love", have recently become so shallow, superficial, and sometimes outright ugly. It is good to see honor, selfless love, and kindness on display in the subtle, but powerful ways in stories such as this one (and others that BlazingInferno has written).
You're my writing hero, BlazingInferno. I hope to one day be half as good with the written word as you are.
Well, I'll say this story has character and is beautiful in a low key way. Starts with spunk, grounded in the circumstances of reality. One of those stories with a unique quality. But that goes on the side of sadness and reality, more than joy and myth like fables do. But still nice going with a nice wrap up. I'll remember this one.
Alright, I've had this one on my to-read since you published it, and I'm finally starting to cut through my backlog a bit. Just read it in a sitting.
I'm … not sure how I feel, honestly. There's some nice worldbuilding and I do like the central issue. I like your characters, and you've got some strong moments, especially with the goats in the market.
On the whole, though, the story feels quite rushed. (Not in the sense of the prose quality — in the pacing.) There's a sort of Jenga tower of plotlines: you've got the question of whether Kev and Dew will reconcile, which stacks into the question of how the corporates will take his marriage, which is rendered moot by the gem vein discovery, which is rendered moot by the market conditions, which is rendered moot by the earthquake and ruined village, which is rendered moot by the murder charges, and then everything collapses all at once at the end. Problems that were interesting in their own right kept getting pre-empted by bigger problems before he ever had the chance to make meaningful decisions that drove character development, and so when we did finally dig back through the metaphorical rubble to resolve some of the earlier issues (like why they couldn't speak), the answer felt underwhelming to me. (Speaking of which, I do like the pony magic concept, but I'm having a lot of trouble buying how, if she was the one blocking it from working for him in the first place, the ability to read writing or talk to goats could possibly have carried over.)
So … eh. I've definitely read stories from you that I appreciated, but kinda bounced off this one. Keep it up though! (And I'll PM you back in a little while about the manuscript.)
Great little feelsy story. <3
*clap*
*clap*
*clap*
Bravo.
6944503
And here I was, waiting for someone to cry foul over foreshadowing (or lack thereof)
Plotline Jenga sounds like a most excellent (writer's) party game.
I think why I didn’t see things that way while writing is that I viewed (and view) Kev and Morning Dew's relationship as the central conflict without equal. Despite what PP said in his review, I considered this a romance that just happens to have a lot of worldbuilding for a fanfic. All the other conflicts were just to support or push their relationship in one way or another. So I saw the Jenga tower the other way around: Morning Dew prevented Kev from being charged with murder and gave him a reason to live after he loses everything that defines his life and identity (his job, his workers, his family, his mobility). Kev in turn offers Morning Dew an escape from fear, and from the ostracism she'd likely face in minotaur society.
As for the magic thing… I’ve got nothin’. It doesn’t translate well into non-magical logic, and is probably the strongest case for putting this story in a high fantasy setting to begin with. I originally had Dana give a more textbook description of how the magic worked, but that was out of place for her to say and risked giving away the twist from the start, that Morning Dew has some serious issues that shut down her desire to for him to understand. It’s more of an emotional block than a logical one. Sorry it didn’t work for you, but thank you for reading, and thank you for leaving an excellent critique to boot.
I miss the writeoff feedback
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Thank you all for reading
6952080
I'm probably gonna keep recommending this to people for the foreseeable future. It really stuck with that much.
Just read it all after seeing it on EqD. Very lovely little story you got here.
Though if you ask me, I wouldn't mind a sequel
I think you should go back and write some more in between this chapter and the last. As it is, this chapter is way too far in the future and doesn't really feel like it belongs to the story. It's a little difficult to believe that he'd just move to Equestria and quit eating meat and so on. It's interesting that it should be tied to a real story, but what there is doesn't quite suffice for a proper story on it's own. I also find it strange that despite having his wounds treated he is still using a cane. Honestly I expected his 'pony wife' to be part of the reason for the termination of the mine. It's not clear that it was costing the company all that much and it seems odd that gems would suddenly have no value...
6944503
Nice way of succinctly describing the problems I see with this story. Problems that normally lead to story arcs are resolved being rendered moot via authorial fiat. It makes the story seem incredibly contrived. Tangentially a little more backstory for Morning Dew would help. I imagine that knowing when the sun's coming up isn't a real useful talent although it does explain the name.
I really enjoyed this fic.
While Morning Dew doesn't have much overall screen time or dialogue, we still get a lot of her history from her actions and dialogue. Also liked that Equestria had some influence on their actions despite being in a different country and culture.
Then there is an explanation as to why Iron Will is in Equestria.
All in all, a great fic.
That was pretty friggin' great!
6977956
D'oh, yes. So many eyeballs have glossed over that…
Thanks!
Fantastachi! I'd give it another like if I could.
*Finish story* .....*clicks button* Annnnddd fav. It deserved to be remembered.
Beautiful.
This was beautiful and touching.
I always adore your stories. They strike the perfect balance of happy and sad, never feeling dark, gory and gritty for the sake of it.
It's also really refreshing to see minotaur perspective on life.
Is this story based off of the Adam Sandler movie The Waterboy?
9327013
Nope. There’s a small author’s note at the end about the story’s origins, but it’s not really tied to anything besides MLP.
Well, this was... this was a story. One of the "Completely emotionally conflicted in how to feel over but in all the best ways" types that, I'm not really sure what to say about it. An amazing balance of darkness, sadness, bad things happening, without ever really becoming a dark or cynical fic. It's not ABOUT the bad things happening, it's just a story where bad things, and good ones, happen. While the pacing might have been rushed, it works here because it prevents dwelling on day to day things that could be boring, or drawing out the bad things that happen.
This story was incredibly good, while leaving me utterly.... emotionally unsure the whole time. A story I can't say I loved reading, but I do love having read, if that makes any sense. And all around just, really well done.
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I definitely know that feeling. If you walked away feeling things then I'd say the story did its job
Thanks!