The Abyss
Joined 22nd Nov, 2012 ·
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Mmmmmmm clop the best way to start my morning. Thanks!
...Nothing witty to say to that.
Good job. Short and sweet.
I wonder what if Spike was watching?
What a straight forward title.
6701023 Haha yup. I hope that it doesn't give the wrong impression with its vagueness.
Hmmm, I wonder what it's about.
So... okay, I think I want to let you know why I ended up downvoting this one.
I mean, I get that you wrote this not to be anything great. You meant for this to be 1000 words of Twilight masturbating, and it delivered on that front.
However, just because it delivered on that promise doesn't mean that the promise is necessarily good. This is a story, and as a story, there's no point to it, meaning that there is no story here. It's a little snippet of something in some context that we don't know about, and while I get that it wasn't your intention to provide any of that, it doesn't mean that it amounts to anything worth reading. It would be like writing 1000 words of Twilight going to the market, buying some milk, and going home. Nothing happens. So, on the basis of judging this as a story, Imma have to give this one a red thumb.
6701038 I hope I wasn't too vague about it.
6701065 I didn't write this as a story, though, so why judge it as such?
pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw10939_medium.png
6701065 Call me crazy, but I do remember a fanfic, which was about Twilight shopping! And while it was really well written (if I remember correctly), it had absolutely no story. It might have even reached the featured box...
6701076
You could argue that since it is posted as a story, it is a story, but fair enough.
Personally? Even if I don't judge it as a "story" per se, I still read it and found it pretty pointless in that there's no substance to it. I disliked it for that reason.
6701131 Just because something is posted on this site doesn't necessarily mean it is a story. And yeah, that's fine. I don't expect every single one of my followers/friends to like everything I put up. ^^
6701038
It's about Mudkips.
img.pokemondb.net/artwork/mudkip.jpg
6701024
Hand tested.
Satisfaction guaranteed.
Mirror pool/10 would clop again.
6701131 you have a good reason to dislike some will just post junk reasons
This story offended me because it had masturbation in it. You should have done a better job with the trigger warnings.
Short, sexy, straight to the point, no fucking around in these parts, Abyss says Twilight masturbates, and she fucking masturbates got it?.... that is all.
6701199
Can you ever forgive me?
6701203
Oh, all right, then.
(I really liked the story, by the way. Short, sweet, and hot.)
6701211 Lol thanks.
6701213
No prob', Bob. Er, Abyss.
Really? I would've never guessed. Thank you for you're help.
6701354
Soooo...does this story contain masturbation?
6701439
No.
So... is the Romance tag added automatically when you add the Sex tag? This is more of a slice of life than a romance. Odd tagging aside, this delivered exactly what it promised. It was quite arousing.
Have a Twilight ahegao for a cute clop piece.
~KBO.
Nothing helps a bookworm like masturbation.
10/10, I really like how Twilight masturbated.
So… the lack of dialogue or description of the details of Twilight's body—not that you'd need to have those things, but still—pretty much makes this little more than "an anthro unicorn masturbates". If the two sentences about casting a spell were removed, Twilight's name would have been replaceable by anyone's (even just "Clarissa", or something) and the piece wouldn't change.
You don't really have Twilight because your Twilight is more a body than a person. You don't really have Romance because you don't have characters. In those senses, even as silly and minimalistic as the presentation of this story is, it feels flawed. More than that, the piece feels only remotely related to MLP.
6701689
People don't always talk when they're masturbating.
I disagree. I talk about her wings in one sentence.
You don't need more than one person to have romance. See? https://www.google.com/search?q=romancing+yourself&rlz=1C1ASRM_enUS647US647&oq=romancing+yourself&aqs=chrome..69i57.3359j0j7&sourceid=chrome&es_sm=93&ie=UTF-8
So... you want me to write about the magic of friendship while Twilight is fingering herself?
I have a massive soft spot for anthro and humanized stuff (one quick glance at my list and one can easily determine that), but I'm gonna have to remain ambivalent about this one. While there aren't nearly enough masturbation fics or anthro fics, and on that front, I'm glad someone's contributing, this one wasn't as thorough... but that's purely my own opinion. Dialogue isn't necessary in masturbation at all, but the narrative is a bit clunky and the imagery was... plain. Also, depending on what you were trying to do, clop is kinda hard to be written in a short wordcount, but again, that's just my opinion and my experience. Then again, you may have just decided to write something and push it out for the hell of it. I've done that before, so who knows.
I won't be upvoting nor downvoting this time because nothing was particularly bad and nothing was particularly outstanding, for me at least. You're an awesome writer; I feel you can do so much better than this.
6701751 All I really wanted to do with this was to see how much clop I could cram into exactly 1k words. I wrote it in about an hour, revised it a bit, then let it go live on the website. It definitely isn't my best work, nor is it my worst. This one was written merely for fun, and I always write stuff with the intention of publishing it.
If this little thing gets featured, I'll truly be astonished. XP
6701773 Okay that's what I was guessing at. In that case, fair enough, and feel free to disregard my comments below.
6701718
Taken in context, I was naming a way in which something the story lacked made Twilight not be readily recognizable as Twilight. Note how I also said you wouldn't have needed dialogue to accomplish that.
Ah, apologies. Then those three one-off sentences would have made her name replaceable by anyone's if they were cut.
You do need more than one warm body. A warm body that recognizably thinks about something other than itself might just be the bare minimum. Regardless, as a genre, romance focuses on emotional love rather than purely on the libido. There are any number of ways that Twilight masturbating alone could have been romantic—if she were shown to be fantasizing, or masturbating to the thought of someone, or even just luxuriating in colorful thoughts of herself—but you didn't really go for any of them, so surely Slice of Life would be a more appropriate genre to put this in? Even if it were romantic, this probably should've had the Slice of Life tag, because that's exactly what it is.
Your simultaneous decision to make this piece an anthro one and to not actually reference anthropomorphic aspects of her body outside of, like, four sentences gave it very little foundation in the series to start off with, and you didn't do anything to counteract that. I'll be charitable and say that maybe your presumably self-imposed word limit kept you from working in anything more than you did (and explains such boring, mood-killing portions as "[…] she continued edging herself for the next minute, then another."), but sarcastic quips aside, I'm sure you know things you could have done to relate it back to the supposed source material in tangible, sexy ways.
Yup, this was a story of... Twilight... masturbating...
...
That perfect minimum 1k words though.
6701776 Lol it got featured.
i.imgur.com/PMKYEeK.png
I'm at a loss for words right now.
6702055 Well shit.
i.imgur.com/N2yMYUW.jpg
Physical descriptions only. No emotions, build-up, or fantasizing. Warm body masturbates to orgasm... Okay...
6702078 With a limit of only 1k words, I had to prioritize what I wanted to show in this.
Title says all. Lol And how do you have the Twilight pony as mouse?
6702109 It's some userscript called interactive ponies. Search for the Usercripts group and you'll find it, plus many more add ons, in the forum.
I love the rational of some people. "I read a story called Twilight masturbates, and all it was was Twilight masturbating! RRRAAAAGGEEE!!! How dare you give me exactly what you said you would!!!"
Really? lol
That was short, sweet, and great!
Good job!
6702188 I guess they went into it expecting something else and got let down because of it. Happens to me quite a lot.
6701150
mlpforums.com/uploads/post_images/img-2892182-1-Princess_Luna,_Princess_Cadence_and_Princess_Celestia_by_artist-2snacks.png
Wait a protagonist that I can finally relate too?
Cause I masturbate too!
10/10 I can relate!
6701136
I mean . . .
i.gyazo.com/3f4d93c8e1754ab1db84d9194de8cb04.png
6702264 Lol.
Gee, I wonder what this fiction is about.
6702188
6702204
Fair enough, but the complaints are less 'Why did you give us what you said you would?' and more to the tune of 'Why did you give us this?', yeah? If I'm at the grocer's and I see a tin of pulped newspaper, then even if it's rightly labelled 'Pulped Newspaper', there's a larger issue.
6702383
I mean, do I need any other reason than I wanted to because I thought it was fun?