• Member Since 22nd Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

The Abyss


Alone and afraid, Sunset Shimmer has been living off of the streets in Canterlot ever since she ran away from home. She is barely holding on as it is and winter is coming soon, and Sunset doesn't know how she's going to survive this one. On a particularly cold night, she's out searching for something to eat when she bumps into the last pony she expects to see walking through the slums: Princess Celestia.

Edited by Alcatraz
Cover art drawn by Dilarus

YouTube Reading!

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 106 )

Well I'm definitely going to have to get to this. Dilarus is awesome. It will be interesting to see what you've wrote to accompany that image.

Awww, that was an adorable ending!

A very heart warming story! :twilightsmile:

I feel like this is appropriate.

Thank you, Princess! I promise to never steal again!”

I feel so sad now because she promised to never steal again but in equestria girls she steals the crown with no hesitation at all.

6197986 Ought to have a sequel.

Maybe Sunset making up?

You seem to be good at this kind of story.

You should try a reconciliation sequel.

6198015 Ya know, you don't have to reply to my comment to get me to read yours. :P

And perhaps. If this does well enough, I might do so.

6198021 I would love to help.

If you'd allow me to of course!

Would you like to have a conversation?

PM me with anything you want to avoid as a topic.

Cute and all, but

I promise to never steal again!

Really made me laugh. A lot.:trollestia:

6198032 I'm a bit busy working on another story right now, so maybe later, okay? I have quite a few other stories I need to write before I can start thinking of writing a sequel for this, btw. :twilightblush: I've been meaning to write this one since September 2014.

I always wondered about Sunset past, probably the same as Twilight.
This story brought a few feelings.
I'm cursing that guard while I was reading, until he cleaned and gave her teddy bear back.
A small sequel would be nice, in my opinion of course, anyways I loved reading this one.

this is what I thought of when I read the title

6198044 I have so many stories on my list to write that it's not... actually it's sad kind funny.

Also, the PM conversation thing isn't that binding. Just respond as soon as possible which is usually a day to a week.

That story is exceptionally cute... to overcome all the sad feels with happy ones. :)

Curse you and your feels, I wanted to Hug Sunset so much and then give that Arse of a guard the Ol' One Two! there must be sequel good sir, there must!

this was very well written! As we all know, it's a shame future Shimmer can't honor her promise to Celestia, but as a filly, she's just too darn cute! Good job.

You gave me diabetes

6198489 Thanks! And I might just have to write her betrayal. It seems like quite a few people are asking for a sequel. :twilightblush:

6198523 that would be quite interesting! I look forward to it if it happens.

Skip to 29 seconds in.

6198646 Does somebody want a hug? I think somebody wants a hug.

That's so sweet! Though it definately complicates Sunset's betrayal later. You'd think someone who had hit rock bottom like that wouldn't be one to say the world owed them anything, so it will be more complicated to justify why she demands Celestia make her a Princess.

6198769 I disagree. Ultimately, it could be a combination of some deep seated distrust of others, and a desire to be a Princess, somepony powerful enough to pull her out of the gutter with a few words. A desire to help others, at odds with an internal idea that others are just not worth her time.

It's why she took only the element of magic. She didn't understand that it takes all six to make them work the way they're supposed to, and that she'd have to trust others enough to share the power with them. Which is something 'evil' Sunset couldn't do.

Why do you do this to me? You are a horrible, terrible person! You are bad, and you should feel bad! How DARE you make me sad and depressed and whatnot like this right before bed? For shame, good sir*! FOR SHAME...

*or Madam. Cannot brain atm which you are

6199018 B-but I ended it with dah happies and de snuggles!

6199034 It's just a reminder of how it gets *ed up down the path, and makes it all the worse that it happened, and makes us feel even MORE sorry for Sunset! It's still sad! *crosses forelegs stubbornly*


“Do you snore?”

“Like a derailed train falling down the side of a mountain,”

If that question is asked of me, that is an answer I can legitimately give. With a straight face. My snoring has been compared to a major car pileup before.

Thank you very much for my daily dosage of dawws! :twilightsmile:

Did Sunset's mom just commit suicide by overdose!? Anyway, it's been awhile since I've seen any Sundoption fics.

6199167 Thor would be proud!

Headcanon blindly and fully accepted.

But in all seriousness. Wow. I don't need to say anything else, really. Just... wow.

Comment posted by Falcata and her Author deleted Jul 13th, 2015


I felt my stress melt away from me like a stick of butter out in the summer heat. I nuzzled the princess’s side, eliciting a happy hum from her. “Thank you, Princess! I promise to never steal again!”


OH GOD... Poor Celestia and Sunset...

Wow. Just, I'm speechless. This brought tears to my eyes, made me giggle, and all around daaawww.
Yet another story from the Abyss that left people stunned.

I have a hard time fitting this into canon though. Imagining Sunset running away from Celestia after this, for any reason whatsoever, is impossible.

can not resist urge to DWAAAAAAAAAAAAA
dude really there needs to be a sequel

“Thank you, Princess! I promise to never steal again!”

She didn't pinkie promise ...

6200103 I can imagine it.

The only problem I saw was "another Chocolate chip cookie" when I don't remember her getting one prior. (just re-read that entire section to make sure I was not putting my hoof in my mouth......as some might say...I'm not a smart pony) The story is heart rending in such a way that you may wish to do hand springs at the end! Love your work! May I ask though.....In their conversations was Celestia somehow informed of Sunset's mother passing...especially since it was by her own hoof, a horror story to anypony especially a foal, leaving Sunset without any parents....just saying?

“Thank you, Princess! I promise to never steal again!”


Hmm. This story was a bit too saccharine for me to take seriously, and I'm not sure I can really get behind Sunset as a sweet and innocent homeless waif. (This is one of those "my headcanon about Sunset's childhood and her personality is different" complaints, so feel free to completely disregard it.)

Still, I found it enjoyable anyway. A good effort.

I'll I can say is, awwwwwwwwww! :scootangel: good job!

Bloody love the cover art, mate.

Rather than the generic "guard", you might want to pull a rank out of a hat. Just "guard" sounds awkward.

I don't like this story. I don't dislike it, either, but you're not getting a like for a fic where the protagonist is so removed from her 'real' self that she'd be better off as an OC. It's manipulative in its attempts to pull my heartstrings, and I hate feeling manipulated.
It's not poorly written, though.

This may or may not be intentional, but I think this universe's Celestia is much more benevolentlly depicted than she should be. It might just be because we're seeing it from Sunset's perspective, though.

Any Universe where poverty is such a problem (if not quantitatively, then in regards to the social attitude towards it) and Celestia is either not actively trying to fix it or is oblivious to it has a kinda crap Celestia. Not necessarily evil, but if not then she is stupid. Her guard is trained with the Instincts to beat the crap out of ponies that come across them!

(Edit: I can't English right now. Typos have been shot in the back room.)

I'm not sure why, but this didn't make me sad. It just made me think about the fresh prince of belair's childhood.

Oh, yeah. Nice story, by the way. A nice attempt to play my heart, but it failed like any other.

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