Discord has been trapped for a year now, anger and his sadness has been bubbling beneath his skin more and more on each passing day and soon enough he begins to doubt himself. When Celestia herself frees him from stone he starts to follow a new path. However, when an evil stirs from Discord's past will he be able to step forward and confront it or will he flee in terror from the darkest aspect of the Equestrian lands, the creature that was and still is, father to Discord.
This will contain some gore later, I'm not entirely sure how in depth it will be but better to be safe then sorry. Slight romance will also be seen later but between whom? Lastly, this is in fact my first fanfiction and whilst you probably don't care about that please be gentle. Needless to say, my body is not ready but I shall grin and bear the criticism. Just, please, don't go overboard.
...This ...This was A GREAT FIRST FANFICTION. I WANT MORE, MORE GIMME GIMME GIMME MOOOOOOOAAAAR... err.... I mean, this was a really good start to kick it off, it will be interesting to see where this goes. Have a fave and a like!
653108
Thank you so much!
You have no idea how high my heart soared when I found out that the writer of "When the wind changes" actually likes my story
As for the next instalment, expect it to be up by the end of the day. Its quite a long chapter at the moment and still unfinished but I'm getting there.
653120
When you write it, don't rush it. Take your time with it and be sure to make it even greater (if possible) than the first chapter. Good luck with it. I eagerly await more.
This is great!
Sympathy for the Discord. I thought I'd never see the day when I read it, and BELIEVED it.
I love this fic. MOAR NAO
This story is fantastic. Please, continue.
Well there's nightmare fuel for you.
I'm serious, though. Every bit of this chapter just oozes menace. Discord's revision to his dream world has to be one of the most chilling things I've ever read on this site.
You mentioned a similarity to one of the recent chapters of When the Wind Changes. In my humble opinion, you have completely blown that part of the story out of the water.
This...
Is...
EPIC!
This is honestly Brilliant, Epic and Intense! I have no words to express how much I'm enjoying it.
scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw3147-13303696519099.png
The story seems to be getting exponentially better with each chapter, the first was kind of slow, but it just got better and better from there untill with chapter five it reached Epic Level..
scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw2181-13263075877881.gif
Also, I love your realistic characterization of discord as a good guy.
Awesome-sauce. This is written in a very professional and high-quality manner, and I am just completely enamored by this.
And now, let us delve into epicness...
To answer your question, you did a very good job on the battle scene as It was pretty intense. However If I were you I'd used before more sparingly and find different ways to display what's happening. Use a greater variety of words is all, other then that the fight scene it'self was fantastic.
DAMN! That was epic!
get an ursa to finish it, that should be enough
Uhm. Yeah. What I shall say 'bout this?
I like how you describe Discords psyche in the first four chapters, with his possibilities to act with his environment and how he..alternates between his, um let's call it his "evil side" and his "good side". To forgive or not to forgive. That is the question. :3
But the delicious part in your story is that you not only let this conflict grow but also create a manifestation of these two sides, ending up in a badass fight.
Sadly I can't give a great feedback to this since I'm not used to read, uhm, 'action-stories' but I have to say, that the fight itself wasn't that boring to read as I expected. (Nothing against you, i'm just not a fan of it) It was well written as the rest of your story and there were also some exquisite turning points built in.
But the 'fact' that makes me wanna write something is the ending of this sixth chapter. We had an alsmost two chapters long fight between these two fractions and yet it seems that this is gonna to evolve another fight in Dissy's mind. Well, at one hand this could get a bit boring to read since it would be some sort of repetition. But on the other there is this question in my head if and how Dissy could find a balance between both. I think that the "I" of Dissy that stands between the "good-side" and the "evil-side" has to find a way, because after such a 'radical' movement it's hard to think that the Discord who 'rescued the word' is the original one. That could mean that the "true" Dissy is back with that fusion at the end of chapter six. And still the name of your next chapter could spoiler such a thing. You see, interest and attention didn't fell of the back with this epic fight. (Wee my english is soo guud :/)
So what's the conclusion? Well, I think that you built up a well written story here, including a solid base with the first 4 1/2 chapters and a big badass fight which doesn't eat up all the focus of the story and the interest that I have in this story. Great job!
I wrote this to give you a little insight of my VERY OWN impressions of your work till the sixth chapter. (Surprise, Surprise!)
Equality with objective statements aren't intended and are based on coincidence.
Whatever..keep up the good work, can't wait to see more
I can say with near absolute certainty, that since discovering fanfiction.net when I was 7, I have been on my computer reading for what must be almost 3/4ths of my life, and in that timeframe have read hundreds upon thousands of different stories by nearly just as many different authors. It was not always the easiest pastime to indulge in. At times, the stories I read were not well written, containing either abysmal grammar, to the point where I couldn’t even begin decipher what the author was trying to say in the first place, or poorly thought out storylines, riddled with plot holes, and a lack of proper story flow that would boggle one’s mind as to how the author could have ever believed it to be appeasing to the hungry mind. While small in number compared to the more well written stories, they are still enough to discourage the wandering eye, and cause a loss of faith in the progress of humanity, and it is only by the grace of the well written stories that one can find the heart to continue reading through sites like Fanfiction and Fimfiction. These two types of stories form the most common categories of writing found on these websites. Yours, kind sir, falls into neither of these. This tale, still only in the first stages of its creation, is already worthy of a far different and unfortunately rare category or story. A category that is composed of true works of art that restore the faith in humanity that was once lost. Yes, your story has flawless grammar, and a flow smoother than the skin of a newborn, but that is not what makes it truly great. The true beauty of your work is its’ ability to capture the eyes with a few sentences and feed the avid reader with just enough information and conflict to keep them begging for more. You don’t throw it all in at once leaving behind a lack of conflict that borders boring, nor do you stretch it out so thinly that it becomes tedious and inflexible. You have sewn together the base for a story that has the potential to be one of the best stories I’ve read to-date. Never rush yourself in an effort to appease the impatient, but I also hope you never let this diamond in the rough die. I am greatly anticipating your next installment and look forward to reading more.
If the story overtakes the readers senses it's one to be remembered.
In other words AWSOME, keep up the good work.
I'm working on an update to this, I promise but exams are draggin' me down
Chaos restraint? Pissed, flaming Celestia?
Feels awfully familiar...
NAH! This is a really good fic and I really like the execution and the humor in this fic. Keep up the good work!
831911
You're onto me...
The whole chaos restraint thing had to happen at some point but, yes, I did take flaming Celly sorta from your story...
I feel like a bad person
831929
Don't sweat it, this will be a hilarious addition
“I sense a disturbance in the force.”
Heh. Pinkie...
So, wait...Celestia has a Mr. Hyde too?
And it's not...you know...
That came out of left field.
I found it both hilarious and heartwarming. Can't wait to see what happens next.
837307 Like The Story of Dr. Jekyll and Mr.Hyde, but I HATE the game on the NES!
This type of Discord, I like, the "not really that evil, more of a jerk" what most don't realise is that chaos is needed, change, all that, the way I see it, Discord is the other side of the elements Harmony and Chaos, Yin-yang.. Balance,
Ok... Um.. They are both.. Well Discord.. so in essence, unstoppable force meets immovable object.. Right?
Shouldn't the OC tag be highlighted, for Discord's father?
787093 THAT'S MY LIFE!!
Is this cancelled?
This is
a littlevery corny.Sometimes you can be too descriptive, and it takes away from the plot, but still an excellent story. Hope you continue it!