Discordian Revelations

by LemonDrizzle

Split Through The Middle

Split Through The Middle

He awoke to the soft, gentle, caring embrace of silk sheets and the inexplicably beautiful sound of song birds merrily chirping in his ear.

And it sickened him.

He hurt, his whole form hurt. The endless screaming pain drilled him to his very core, exploding tendrils of sharp, piercing agony ripping into him with a force that brought small tears to his eyes. The feeling of the sheets and the sounds of the birds was the only escape from the endless torrent of pain, the only attachment he had to the real world any more and so he focused on them, a small, pulsing ball of whispered, dark promises shivering in disgust inside his mind as he listened closely to the sound of the chanting birds.

The pain began to slowly, horribly slowly, seep out of him, agony still flaring through his body but now it was quietened down, less loud and rumbustious as pain gave way to confusion about his whereabouts.

Groaning in pain, great aching stabs tearing through his body and pure, yellow sunlight streaming onto his closed eyelids Discord shakily opened his golden orbs, wincing in pain as the sunlight burned his retinas before blinking as he began to survey where he was.

The room was smothered in yellow, flaring light that stretched across the whole area, dispelling any hopes of darkness or shadows, the light filtering though a high, glassed window that showed pure blue skies, red drapes lay at its side like the royal guards shouldering Celestia or the castle. The room was a shockingly bright white colour, snowy marble rising up around him that seemed to have been freshly dug up and formed, slight cracks tracing the length of the nearly perfect room's complexion.

A dainty wooden table stood at the far end of the room, draws tightly closed and surface completely barren of anything other then a single sheet of crisp, white parchment and a long feathered quill. A single, deep brown door lay slightly slanted against the wall, a small crack opened beside the hinge as if somepony was peaking in at his battered form. To his right lay a small, white quilted bedside table equipped with a clear, crisp glass of water and a small selection of various biscuits and vegetables, the brown crumbly food and the unsettling green nutrients intermingling on the small silver plate they rested on.

The rest of the room was surprisingly plain, only a rather obnoxious looking cupboard that looked beaten and worn along with a small, arched doorway that possibly led to a bathroom really stood out. The bed he was currently laying upon was a notched, brown one with a caressing, warm, fluffy white coat and a deep, dark red duvet that stretched from corner to corner magnificently. The pillows were the same snowy white colour, fluffed with goose feathers and embroidered with golden lace which, in turn, formed swirling patterns very similar to those Celestia wore on her golden necklace.

Discord groaned once more as the flashing, strobing, dappled sunlight continued to stream almost sadistically into the room and, most importantly, into his weary, bloodshot eyes. A loud, long, drawn-out yawn broke across the draconequus's face as he stretched out his mismatched arms with a series of loud pops and clicks, the bones cracking back together with a continuation of cringe-worthy sounds.

He took sight of the clear, orderly water that lay perfectly in the middle of the wooden table, smirking slightly as he raised his taloned hand and snapped his fingers, the water immediately turning a sludgy brown colour and the glass colouring a faint red and green colour as the chaos magic did its work. This simple piece of magic caused Discord to blink slightly in a daze that was similar to having all of the blood rush to your head at once, his eyes going slightly fuzzy as the magic withdrawal systems began to set in.

Discord growled in annoyance as the spinning wave of fatigue passed, angry at his apparent lack of ability to perform any real magic without experiencing poor effects. He reached out one hand to clasp the magically infused drink, throwing his head backwards as he drank the contents of the glass itself, feeling much more happy towards drinking the warm, fuzzy liquid then the cold, hard glass.

With a loud thump he rolled out of the pristine, perfect bed and hit the cold marble floor with a pained groan, grabbing his head with his mismatched hands as it slammed ruthlessly into the stone.

Grumbling incoherent curses to himself, Discord rose shakily to his feet, the sun's light still flaring around the room in a manner that would, and was, considered annoying to the light sensitive draconequus. Suddenly a loud, low rumbling split through the air like the sound of thunder as Discord glanced down at his hungry stomach in annoyance, sighing to himself as the loud noise of food lust failed to die down.

Noting the severe lack of truly edible products in the room, biscuits and vegetables be damned, Discord snapped his taloned fingers as trays of rather chaotic food burst into life around him, chocolate coated cabbages, jelly rubies and a large, mustard coated, cheese filled, mushroom smothered pizza doing happy jigs around the now woozy, drained draconequus.

With shaky, fatigued hands he grasped a small section of each food before he smashed them together to create one unholy abomination of chaotic cuisine before he devoured his new creation, licking his lips with one long, pink, snake-like tongue as the food fell into his now content belly. An immortal did not really need food, it was a trivial thing to have but long ago Discord had decided that to make the best of delicious tastes he would incorporate aspects of hunger into himself so that when he did taste food he would be able to fully experience its pleasures. He wouldn't die if he didn't eat food, he'd just be constantly followed by his rumbling tummy.

His so called hunger quenched Discord allowed himself to think back to the previous...hours? Days? Weeks? He no longer knew how long he had been staying in this room unconscious, perhaps it was merely for a few hours but with him being the immortal god of chaos it could have been years upon years, a body that never aged certainly had its flaws.

Discord sighed to himself, dragging a surprising soft lion paw across his face and stretching his features as his mind replayed the last few events that he could remember. His battle with his darker side, the freeing of Celestia from stone and then the return of his chaotic influence. He could still feel it now, hammering into his mind but he would give it no leverage over him, not after seeing what it could do if it was free. He wouldn't allow any of that to happen again, not as long as he lived and breathed.

Discord smiled softly, a stark difference to his usual mischievous smirk, as he looked around the rather plush room, noting the colours and the structure which labelled it as only one area. A guest room in the illustrious Canterlot Castle. His thoughts turned to that of Celestia and Luna swiftly as he beheld the room, wondering on their health and how Celestia was fairing after her...ordeal.

His brooding thoughts were soon interrupted by the heavy hoofsteps and clanking metal noises that could only lead to one distinctive type of creature, the golden armour clad royal guards of Celestia and Luna. Discord grumbled at the prospect of putting up with one of the kiss-ass, fun-ruining, annoyingly silent guards as the heavy clopping of armoured hooves drew closer and closer to his deep brown wooden door, halting just on the outside as if the guard was listening for movement within.

Discord calmly strolled over to the somewhat open door and yanked it fully open with astonishing speed, causing the leaning guard on the outside to stumble inwards and collide with the furry stomach of the draconequus who merely looked at him qith curiosity. The royal guard backed up and regarded Discord with a blank stare, detached grey eyes staring into golden ones as he spoke in a manner that would have easily disproved his embarrassing collision with the spirit of chaos.

“The Princesses wish to see you.”

The stallions voice was deep and mellow, the perfect tone for a royal guard. The guard himself was a grey furred and white maned pegasus, wings jutting out of his specially crafted armour as he continued to stare at Discord with an impassive glance.

“Best not to leave 'em waiting then.”

The stallion nodded sharply before he turned and trotted back through the open door, followed by a smirking Discord who was eyeing the colt with something that closely resembled sadistic pleasure, the odd pair trotting and hovering down narrow halls and cold alleys.

“So, what's your name, or can I just call you Sourpuss?”

The mischievous, baiting purr of a voice quivered from Discord's throat as he swirled upside down to stare into the guards eyes, gold mirth-filled eyes clashing against slate grey eyes as the royal guard halted in his steps suddenly at the surprising sight of the draconequus hanging in front of him. Swiftly enough, the stallion grumbled and continued on the journey, ignoring Discord's question and quickening his pace, hooves clapping on the hard floor.

“Sourpuss it is. So Sourpuss, how long have I been a-snoozin'?”

The guard grunted slightly as Discord barrel rolled around him, the walls flaring up into bright polka dot patterns that leaked glowing golden paint onto the wall, dripping down to the floor. The unfortunate escort had, of course, been warned of Discord's antics so he had braced himself for such an occurrence.

“Classified information.”

At this the painted, partially strobing colours on the normally white walls disappeared with a loud pop, the draoncequus spinning in his small flight to stare at the guard with unamused eyes and a trace of exhaustion.

“Awww, c'mon Sourpuss! Think of all we've been through, you can tell your dear friend Discord.”

“I have never met you before in my life.”

“I like to think it was a more spiritual bond really, like we were meant to be here right now, discussing my slumber.”

“I don't think that's going to happen.”

“Why?”

“Orders of the Princess herself.”

Discord smirked, dropping down onto the floor straight behind the guard with a light thump and a patter of wings before he extended both hands out to touch the parallel walls, feeling magic tingle and race through his fingertips, depleting his energy but for a good- no, funny- cause.

The guard had slowed down somewhat when he had heard the gentle flutter of wings stop as the sound of a small thump reached his ears but he was stopped stiff by what occurred next.

The wall to the right of him blazed a brilliant yellow for a split second, forcing him to blink just as the wall to his left blazed a deep, midnight blue. Opening his eyes he took in the spectacle that had become of the right wall, eyes boggling as he stared at the rather flattering display. On the right wall, in a rather suggestive flank wiggling image was Celestia herself, or a very clever copy of Celestia. From the pure white coat, to the pastel mane, the sun cutie-mark, the magenta eyes and the golden garments the 2-D image of Celestia bore her figure and likeness perfectly had it not been for the fact that she was currently jiggling her seemingly planet sized flank at the guard, causing him to blush and turn to his left.

To his utmost horror the left side was truly no better, perhaps not quite as dirty as the image of a possibly drunk dancing Celestia but still enough to make the guard's cheeks flood with heat. It was a stunning head picture of the Lunar Princess herself, flowing blue mane, captivating midnight blue fur, dazzling blue eyes and, most importantly, bright red reading glasses that only heightened the incredibly suggestive and seductive look in her eyes. With a wink of one eye, the figure of Luna blew a kiss in his direction, the guard falling onto his rump in suprise. The guard blushed vividly, head darting from side to side, trying to determine where he should look before ear splitting laughter sounded behind him, causing him to turn and face the noise maker.

Discord lay curled on the floor, tears dribbling from his eyes and hefty giggles escaping his throat as he rocked back and forth, disjointed voice calling out to the embarrassed guard as he chortled a question.

“S-so, wh-hich one of t-t-these lurvely mares w-wanted me to be le-f-ft in the dark?”

The swift glance the guard distributed to the swaying figure of Celestia was enough of an answer for Discord who just doubled his laughter as the guards face turned redder and redder, both from shame and anger. The hardened exterior of the guard shattered swiftly as the laughter began to pick up and draw the attention of the servants on other rooms who popped their heads out only to be met by the flattering flank of Celestia.

“STOP THIS AT ONCE! CAN YOU BE MATURE FOR ONE SECOND!”

The guard covered his mouth with one hoof nearly immediately, eyes widening in horror as the draconequus's head turned sharply to him and fixed him with a gaze that held a sadistic amusement, the guard both terrified of the god of chaos and terrified at the prospect of what would happen if the Princess were to find out he had yelled at her guest.

At the loud outburst from the guard Discord stopped his nearly endless laughter, the twin images of the Princesses disappearing as the spirit of chaos climbed to his feet and calmly walked towards the now shaking, nervous guard, a smile on the ancient draconian face, cleverly hiding his rapidly depleting magic with.

“Now where would be the fun in that?”

And with that Discord bopped the anxious, scared guard on his helmeted head with one claw, feeling his magic fizzle and change the unfortunate pony before him.

[.]

“Sister, he was supposed to be here five minutes ago!”

“Maybe he just got lost.”

“Hmph.”

“Come now Luna, surely he isn-”

The arguing goddesses were silenced quite abruptly as one of the small wooden doors to the right of the great, if somewhat trashed, throne room burst open with a loud bang, the door slamming into the marble wall with a force that caused it to buckle slightly.

In strode the mismatched, whistling, nearly dancing form of Discord, his eyes closed and his lips pursed as he continued his merry tune. His twin, oddity wings fluttered slightly on his back and his snake tail swept the ground in time with the peculiar beat he was whistling. The most prominent figure though was the small, pink balloon animal he held in his arms, cradled softly in his lion paw like an infant.

He carried on with his mindless whistling until he stood directly in front of the twin seated Alicorn's, one residing on her usual golden throne whilst the other sat upon a regal, ice blue throne that rivalled her sisters. The eyelids of the draconequus shifted open, revealing two gleaming pools of gold and mischief as he held out the pink balloon pony to Celestia with one hand, a smirk on his face.

“A little present for you Cell-Bell.”

Out of the right side of his eye Discord saw Luna pout slightly, her lips meeting together adorably in a sign of jealousy. Discord ignored her though, hiding his smile behind an impassive wall as Celestia took the balloon animal cautiously in one gold horseshoed hoof, eyes quizzical but glimmering with surprise at the gift.

“Why...thank you Discord. However, I see you are lacking your escort. May I ask where FeatherWing is?”

“Oh Sourpuss? He's floating around here somewhere.”

The tone that Discord used, a detached voice that simply glistened with suspicious activity, drew Celestia's attention as she frowned at him, followed by the glare of the Lunar Princess who may have thanked him in the field of battle but was far from forgiving him for his past crimes.

“Discord, what have you done?”

“Well, today I woke up to the lovely soun-”

“I mean with FeatherWing!”

“Ah, you see that's my next gift.”

Celestia's face morphed into a frown in a split second as Discord snapped his fingers before the pink balloon animal on her lap began to grow and change shape, melding back into the form of a particularly flustered, blushing guard.

“Surprise!”

The Solar Princess could only watch, completely and utterly stunned at the new arrival, as the guard turned a furious shade of red, wings fluttering and eyes bulging and frantically spinning in his head. Then came the flee.

The guards fluttering wings and red face disappeared rather quickly as the embarrassed, bedraggled colt sent himself blasting into the air to crash through the ceiling into the bright, clear blue skies. All of this passed in a mere matter of seconds but for Discord the expression on not only Celestia's but Luna's face would stay with him for the rest of his life as he curled into a tight ball and started to howl with laughter.

His unrestrained giggles were abruptly stopped as a strong, blue line of magic forced his lips together, choking off the noise mere seconds later as the Lunar Princess regained her mind, glaring at Discord with none of her previous warmth and gratefulness.

“Discord!”

The draconequus brought a pair of contrasting hands up to his lips, ripping off the magic with an audible squeak of pain before he responded in a calm voice.

“Yes Lu?”

“What is the meaning of this!? We expected thou's visitation, not a disrespectful handling of the guards. Thou will be puni-”

Luna didn't have time to finish her sentence, muffled by her own quiet shriek as Discord slithered towards her like a snake on caffeine, coming to rest directly before her and tapping her gently on the head with a yellow talon. Before Celestia could intervene Luna's whole form began to shiver, her eyes swirling with multiple colours, seconds later resetting to normal as Luna blinked rapidly, clearing her head, Discord still smirking in front of her and Celestia glaring at the draconequus, horn glowing yellow with suppressed rage and a prepared spell.

Discord backed up from the throne of the Goddess of the Moon rather quickly as her horn began to glow bright blue, wings flapping and eyes lighting up as she hovered in the air menacingly. Celestia braced herself for the barrage of yelling that was about to descend, Discord merely remained smirking, if somewhat cautiously, mere feet away from the hovering form of Luna.

“What did you do to me?”

The voice that whispered from Luna's mouth was not of high volume, nor even of old Equestrian. If anything, it seemed to be a normal, soft, satisfying voice that Celestia noted later to herself had sounded very good on her sister.

Luna herself seemed to recognize the change as well as she dropped to the floor, eyes wide and proceeded to produce a range of vocal sounds, ranging from the alphabet to speaking her own name and then to making a great variety of random noises that had Discord smiling widely in humour.

Luna glanced at the smiling draconequus, emotions rolling across her face as she struggled to decide whether or not what he did was a gift or a prank. Finally she sighed and once more resorted to resting on her throne, eyeing Discord warily whilst rolling her tongue around her mouth to see if anything had changed.

Discord watched Luna for another second before he turned to Celestia whose horn had stopped glowing by now, a small smirk on his face as he spoke up in a jubilant voice.

“Now that I've fixed Lu's little voice issue you can go ahead.”

With that Discord snapped his fingers and fell backwards right into his plush, red, chaotic throne that he had created so long ago, sinking into the throne with a content sigh, the magical after-effects muffled but not entirely hidden by the draconequus as his leg began to shiver from overexertion. Celestia frowned in confusion and tinges of worry as she beheld the almost sleeping looking spirit of chaos.

“What do you mean?”

“Y'know very well Cell-Bell. You can start thanking me now, I mean I did save the world~”

At this both Celestia and Luna sighed, hitting themselves with their own hooves in a way that would be entirely unexpected of the royal sisters.

“Discord, we did not call you here to say our thanks, not yet at least.”

At this Discord opened his eyes and peered at Celestia curiously.

“Then why, my dear, am I here?”

“To get rid of your chaos of course, did you think I had forgot?”

At this Discord blanched and turned a pale shade of white, the throne vanishing from underneath him as he shakily sprung up to his full height. Even now, ever after seeing all he could do, all he could become he still couldn't allow his chaos, his hated and yet loved chaos to die. It would drag him down with it, leaving a husk of the God he once was. And he simply couldn't allow that.

The air froze, cold chills blasting through the ruined throne room, flooding through the gaping voids in the walls. The sun itself disappeared behind a cluster of dark, grey storm clouds that had simply appeared flickering lightning, plunging the usually sunny, warm throne room into abysmal darkness.

Celestia herself visibly flinched as Discord serenely walked, walked, towards her, his golden eyes cold and harsh against his usual funny, mischievous self. In those cold, hard golden orbs she saw a creature on the edge of his breaking point, one who had been through so much only to find himself back at square one. And that scared her more then anything else.

Discord kept up his approach until he stood directly in front of Celestia, hot breath tickling her face as she looked into the blank, devoid eyes and shivered. Luna was similarly frozen, looking on in fear and nerves.

“No.”

Celestia gulped deeply, eyes switching to all sights apart from the draconequus before her dramatically as she spoke up in a shaky voice.

“B-but without our help you might-t turn back into that thing.”

“I'm not ready to die Celestia and that is exactly what would happen if you killed my chaos. It is a part of me and to tear that away, to burn it and destroy it, it would destroy me. My answer is no and I recommend you leave it at that.”

Celestia's face morphed from that of a scared, nervous filly to one of a confused, puzzled one quickly, surprising the spirit of chaos with the rather sudden change of character.

“Kill your chaos?”

Discord frowned, lips curling up into a vicious looking pout as he whirled around, eyes spread wide to emphasis his point.

“Yes Celestia, kill my chaos and I will not let you do- Wait, what is it?”

At first Celestia had sat stone still on her throne as Discord had raised his mismatched arms and had begun his speech before the soft giggles had started. From there it was only a matter of seconds before the flood barriers fell as the giggles converted into a full blown, rather un-princess like laugh that rung around the battered throne room heavily. Even Luna was getting in on the fun even if she didn't fully understand why her sister was laughing, light peals of laughter echoing out of her midnight blue throat equally loudly.

“What is so funny!?”

By now the God of Chaos had grown more and more frustrated at the antics of the two Princesses who had completely ruined the rather dark mood he had worked so hard to create.

Celestia wiped a tear out of her eye as she took in the sight of the aggravated draconequus, her sister still obliviously laughing to thin air.

“Oh Discord, did you really think I would kill your powers?”

“...”

“Did you really think I could kill your powers?”

“...Yes?”

At this Celestia let out a chuckle, her sister still guffawing in the background before she continued speaking in a giddy tone, happy at no longer being stared down in a terrifying manner that had chilled her to her old bones.

“The spell I was talking about was no destruction spell or kill curse. No, it was a mere modified blockade spell.”

Discord blinked one eye and then the other in a surprising comparison of a particular green alligator.

“A what now?”

“A blockade spell, normally used to halt or stop any oncoming objects of to block an area of land. It took a while but I managed to shorten the spell down to a smaller, more specific area.”

Discord blinked again, clear confusion on his face as he spoke up in a hazy voice.

“My noggin'?”

“Yes Discord, your, ahem, noggin'. The spell should put up a barrier of sorts between your chaos and yourself, not destroying your power but not allowing it control...

...It would effectively merely be a blockade against dark thoughts and evil intentions. Your powers would be decreased, you would no longer be able to call on your chaotic self but, even then, you would still be as powerful as myself or Luna...

...I know you better then you think Discord. I know that losing your chaos would be like me losing my horn so I came up with a simple, non-violent solution. But will you accept it?”

Discord blinked once more in a disturbing, serpentine motion before he raised one taloned hand to tug at his pristine white beard, eyes narrowed thoughtfully in contemplation of the question. His chaos would remain but be imprisoned, a type of death on its own. Was it truly worth it, getting rid of his chaos? He had kept it in check for millennia, never letting it get to bad but now, now the rules of the game had changed. Morbid couldn't be allowed access to his thoughts, his body again, even if it took total imprisonment to accomplish it.

Discord looked up from his pondering, golden eyes unreadable before he snapped his fingers, producing a pair of vibrant red sunglasses and a dart board-esque object that sat snugly on his chest, red and white circles spiralling around its soft wood.

“Well my dear, fire away!”

Celestia nodded whilst Luna looked on in rapt attention, recently recovered from her embarrassing fit of the giggles. Celestia closed her eyes and focused her power, feeling the magic build up in her now glowing yellow horn. A swirling mass of crackling magic danced around her horn as she opened her eyes, flooded with yellow light, and allowed a brilliant yellow bolt of magic to discharge from her horn and hit the nervous but disguised Discord straight in the chest.

Discord grimaced, not in pain but in discomfort as the creeping tendrils of magic wormed into his body and through his form to slither inside of his mind. The thick, golden projectile that had sprouted limbs was heavy and cold, chilling and smothering the fur of his chest like a vice. When the wriggling, squirming magic touched his mind like a probing serpent Discord hissed loudly, causing Celestia and Luna to back up as his eyes began to glow a sickly shade of red, body taut and stretched and head turned upwards to stare at the ceiling, eyes and mouth wide open.

There was no pain, no agony or screaming abuse of his body. No there was something much worse, something that Discord would gladly have chosen pain and suffering over. His privacy, his mind and his secrets were being torn open and tossed aside by the writhing magic, smashing and cluttering into his mind as it wormed its way towards its destination like a bull in a china shop. It felt, for all purposes, like a train had whipped through his mind and disrupted the organised chaos he had created so magnificently.

Not soon enough for Discord the probing, uncovering, seething mass of magic found its destination, plunking itself down between chaos and sanity with a resounding crack of power. Just realizing of the true situation at hand, Discord's chaotic influence flung itself at the barrier, shrieking and screaming much to the horror of Discord before it was cut off by the barrier fizzling, muting the horrid noises with a golden throb of energy.

The worst was yet to come for Discord as Celestia's powerful magical spell began to reforge Discord's twisted, shattered mind, fixing the damage it had done. Discord visibly bit his lip as the unpleasant sensation of resewing his mind fell upon his conscious, the barrier spell slinking and knotting all memories back together, re-shuffling them back to their originally places with an apparent lack of privacy. Its job done, its 'victim's' mind fixed and sorted the spell fell silent, shimmering slightly in a blockade of magic as Discord was forcefully yanked back to the world of the living.

Celestia and Luna were closer to him now, both had slunk off of their thrones early on into the stages of the spell to watch and to prepare for what may happen if Discord were to lose himself or the spell were to go wrong. Both visibly flinched as Discord's head suddenly sprang forward, a loud, choked intake of breath whistling through his open mouth as he sucked in air. The golden eyes were slits of swirling, mixing emotions, all of which were indistinguishable in the mess of feelings.

Great, heaving coughs racked Discord's body as he pitched forward to land on all fours before the twin Princesses, tears of discomfort streaming from his golden eyes as he retched loudly.

Celestia watched Discord hit the floor, eyes twinkling and blinking in guilt at the idea of her own spell causing the God this much discomfort as she stepped forward, ignoring Luna's cries of warning and protest until she stood directly before the floored spirit.

“Discord...?”

Those golden eyes flashed up to her for a second as the coughing seized his body once more.

“Did it...did it work?”

The coughing whittled down to deep wheezing as Discord rolled onto his back in a position that, were it not for his wide eyes and shivering body, would have looked like he was asking for a belly-rub. Slowly, even the wheezing diminished until all that remained was heavy breaths, Celestia desperately awaiting an answer to her question. She did not have to wait much longer.

“That was the single, most uncomfortable thing I have ever felt ever.”

Celestia backed up, a wide grin stretched across her features as Discord climbed back to his contrasting legs, mumbling as he did so whilst Luna looked on from a sensible distance. Celestia piped up in an obviously happy voice as Discord stretched, his muscles knotted from the extending and then coiling of his body.

“So, how do you feel?”

Discord looked at her with one eye, an eye that sparkled with the worldwide signs of did you really need to ask that?

“I feel like my insides have been replaced by snakes. There's no pain, just feels kinda...squirmy.”

At his rather odd simile, Luna blanched and paled slightly, images of her insides being turned into snakes causing her to turn a sickly shade of white. She barely even heard Celestia's voice once more speak up, this time slightly more subdued by the knowledge that her spell had caused some minor after effects.

“What about your...Chaos?”

Discord looked at Celestia and faintly, very faintly she could detect the glimmers of nerves in his eyes before he closed them and took a deep breath. She similarly held her breath as the God of Chaos continued to remain strangely silent, obviously searching for something within his own mind. She was mere seconds away from exploding out a deep breath of trapped air when he opened his irregular eyes as a gentle smile painted itself across his face.

“Silent. Its still there but I can't reach it and it can't reach me.”

Luna finally spoke in a creepily cheerful voice, both because of the triumph of the spell and because she had finally gotten rid of the horrible snake organ idea from her own mind.

“Well, this calls for a party!”

[.]

Pinkie Pie was hopping through the town of Ponyville, the constant spring in her step causing her pink form to bounce up and down instead of the usual tort that a pony would embark upon, when a sudden feeling came over her, causing her to shudder. With curious eyes she glanced up at the castle which had seemed to whisper the callings of a party to her before her eyes narrowed and burned with the light of a thousand parties.

“I sense a disturbance in the force.”

[.]

Both Celestia and Discord were looking at Luna rather quizzically, eyebrows raised as the midnight blue mare began to blush and stutter in embarrassment.

“I was j-just going to suggest w-we have a party...”

Just as Luna began to awkwardly shuffle her hooves in humiliation Celestia beamed a white toothed smile at the randomly timed suggestion whilst Discord merely looked on in shock, not expecting them to offer him anything, let alone a real party. A party for him. If he wasn't the God of Chaos, Discord would surely have let the dams fall by now but even his iron hard will and chaotic attitude could not stop the slight watering of his eyes as he realized that they wanted to host a party for him, not against him or over his defeat.

Celestia turned to Discord, who hastily wiped his damp eyes with one hand, smiling as she began to speak in a rich, clear voice that clearly showed her happiness and traces of smugness at pulling off the complex spell successfully.

“A party to celebrate your rejuvenation and you leaving behind your life of chaos and mischief. A perfect idea Luna!”

Discord snapped out of his blissful emotions as Celestia finished her little speech, observing the solar ruler with an amused expression that made Celestia shiver, not in fear or terror but in a deep expectation of events to come.

“Now Celestia, why on Equestria do you think I would leave behind my mischief?”

Celestia opened her mouth to deliver a sharp response before she was cut off by a shriek of terror behind her, causing the Goddess of the Sun to whirl around as Discord began to laugh hysterically.

Luna stood on tense, taut legs, hyperventilating wildly, eyes rolling around her head in fear and nostrils flaring up in terror. Her mane was a whipping inferno, her wings shivering and jutting out at her signs in a rapid response to danger, making her appear bigger. Her horn was lit up a bright, brilliant, bedazzling blue that shone with an incredibly light. All around her, the source of her fear and irritation lay, scattered and numerous. Great green rubber snakes, some upon her back and head, most sent careening across the throne room from the powerful shakes of the lunar ruler were strewn across the room haphazardly.

Celestia watched Luna in morbid fascination as the strong, resilient mare began to shudder and buck, eyes swimming with visions of snakes that brought back ideas of slippery, slithery snakes that wiggled around inside her.

Turning back with an expression that resembled something close to anger at the cackling draconequus, intent on dishing out a verbal lashing, she was quite surprised to be met with not one, but two lemon-meringue pies straight to the face, the crusts and filling exploding around her form.

Discord cascaded into more heavenly, heavy, rumbustious chuckles as he beheld the rulers of Equestria, one wriggling and trying to knock out plastic snakes with violent kicks and the other covered with pie and blinking at him rather forcibly, as if she didn't truly understand what had just happened. This just caused Discord to laugh all the harder as one of Celestia's large, golden clad shoes rose up to wipe and fling the remains of the pie from her face, her eyes still unreadable.

“Oh my dear Celestia, why did you think I would give up my mischief when its this much fun?”

For answer, Celestia smiled a soft, cold smile, Luna still vainly charging around behind her and shrieking, though all sounds were cut off as the lead ruler of Equestria began to speak in a somewhat hushed tone.

“Because you wouldn't want to get hurt.”

Discord smirked at the answer, oblivious to the slight tinges of smoking wafting from Celestia's mane.

“And what do you mean by that my Pie-faced Princess?”

At this Celestia smiled again, this time drawing Discord's attention with the levels of ice and irritation that rolled off of her.

“Every action has a consequence Discord...”

At this Celestia's mane burst into flames along with her tail, the heat licking up the floor and the sight causing Luna to halt her rapid running and Discord to flail backwards in terror, yelping loudly as the heat bit him. Celestia spoke in a loud, clear, cold voice that made Discord shiver with fear and with hints of amusement as he awaited the chase.

“Hello Discord,” the burning Celestia said as she stepped towards him, flames causing the marble floor to crack slightly, “you can call me Consequence.”

Discord backed up, sweat lacing his body and creating a sheen of sparkling perspiration just as his back hit the ruined wall of the throne room, causing him to turn his head around in terror and then whip it back, eyes widening as the flameball known as Celestia stepped closer to him, his voice whispering out with a fearful tinge in the entrapment of the castle.

“Well buck.”

A/N: Damn this chapter was a tough one to write. I'm still not entirely happy with it but I have made enough changes for now. Maybe I'll go back and change it a bit later but for now screw it, I'm tired.

Once again, tell me what you think.

Comments

[Symphony]

Chaos restraint? Pissed, flaming Celestia?

Feels awfully familiar...

NAH! This is a really good fic and I really like the execution and the humor in this fic. Keep up the good work!

[LemonDrizzle]

831911

You're onto me...
The whole chaos restraint thing had to happen at some point but, yes, I did take flaming Celly sorta from your story...
I feel like a bad person

[Symphony]

831929

Don't sweat it, this will be a hilarious addition

[Reader Wolf]

“I sense a disturbance in the force.”
Heh. Pinkie...

So, wait...Celestia has a Mr. Hyde too?
And it's not...you know...
That came out of left field.

[WrathOfGod519]

I found it both hilarious and heartwarming. Can't wait to see what happens next.

[Official Taco]

837307 Like The Story of Dr. Jekyll and Mr.Hyde, but I HATE the game on the NES!

[Starlight Nova]

Shouldn't the OC tag be highlighted, for Discord's father?

[Swirls]

787093 THAT'S MY LIFE!!

[headcrabnew]

Is this cancelled?

[QuillMaster]

Sometimes you can be too descriptive, and it takes away from the plot, but still an excellent story. Hope you continue it!