Gathered around the crystal table in the private dining room in the Crystal Castle were two alicorns, a unicorn, a unicorn with a (probably) cosmetic alternation to his horn, and a baby dragon. Spread out before them was a generic board game the name of which isn’t really important, and then dragon held the dice. But just as the dragon was preparing to throw and take his turn, he suddenly froze in mid claw shake.
“Wait a second,” Spike said. “I sent Princess Celestia a letter.”
“Oh, that’s right! When I was complaining about the state of the Equestrian education system!” Sombra exclaimed. His expression became considering for a moment. “Kind of sent it out of nowhere, too. I wonder if that caused any confusion.”
“Pops, this is Princess Celestia we’re talking about!” Twilight chimed in. “She’s got more experience navigating confusing situations than all of us put together. I assume, at least. I’m sure she’s got everything figured out.”
Back in Ponyville, inside of Rainbow Castle — that’s its name from now on — Princess Celestia stood in the Council Room, staring at the seven empty thrones along with a contingent of ten fully armored Royal Guards. They had started there, and then moved methodically between the kitchen, parlors, bedrooms, other miscellaneous rooms and ending back in the Council Room. With all available evidence gathered, Celestia was at last able to give voice to the question at the forefront of her mind:
“Where the frell is everyone?!”
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Besides being antithetical to the show's premise, that particular trope isn't terribly entertaining, either.
I guess it's an attempt to be like Arrested Development in that sense, but it doesn't work. With FiM, they're all supposed to be nice, so it doesn't work to make them terrible because their nature should help them. With AD, we know out of the gate that these are terrible people, so it works when they try to be good because their nature works against them.
It's funny when characters fail because of their nature despite their intentions, not when they fail because of their intentions despite their nature.
I think.
I have to promote this at some point. I must.
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Promote at some point? Why not now?
I mean, if it was a religious experience, do you not have an obligation to spread the word as far and as fast as possible? Just sayin'.
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Good point. I'll be sure to do that!
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Also, you've earned this award:
38.media.tumblr.com/dc316196c5eebacf32f011844b30a01f/tumblr_n9jw9wHYjN1s9gsu0o1_500.gif
That is, if I happen to be your Senpai.
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Outside, I appear calm and collected. Cool as a cucumber, even.
Inside?
This is fantastic. That is all I have to say.
I look forward to the sequel in which Sweetie Belle, taking inspiration from Twilight, makes her own Doomsday device.
With the rest of the CMC of course.
I'm quite sure tree sap will be involved at some point.
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There you are. Comment section was feeling a bit empty without you.
Now where's Crystal? I've heard from No. 1 Son, now I need No. 1 Fan to round things out.
Congratulations.
You have successfully broken my brain.
6332807 I'm here! I'm late, but I'm here. And it was a wonderful story to wind down for the night.
Actually, to be honest, even though it's in my favorites I never got an email it updated, and it got very rudely pushed aside by other stories I'm neglecting because I'm a terrible person. I just cleared a few out and saw this one had like four chapters unread. I binged them all just now. No regrets, 20lb gained, would binge again.
I don't normally enjoy the random genre, but it was the fact that the characters aren't so random as to be completely unbelievable. Each one had just enough of a morsel of themselves layered under the exaggerated hilarity to make it even more wonderful. I could actually imagine all of it happening in a mirror world.
Legitimately, my favorite part is still Sombra. Gosh darn Sombra. Every time I see fan art of him, I see this version. I also hear a distinct voice for him in my head that I can't place, but if I figure it out, I'll let you know.
Now to figure out what this word is my iPad autocorrected exaggerated into: expatriated. (One spinning Google logo later) Oh. I knew that word, just not as a verb. Huh. The more you know.
Anyway, thanks for the amusement and for the continued awesomeness that is Sombra Pops (now in three flavors, only banned in 47 states).
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This may clear up a few things.
Or it might not.
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You want to know a secret? A lot of people say that. I even have two — TWO — FiM Fiction celebrity endorsements. At least that many.
I've just kind of accepted that The Other Jake was the high point of my career here. What else can I do?
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Of course! All unicorns build doomsday devices!
You know, eventually.
And THIS is how to do a genuinely great "random" story, at least as far as I'm concerned. It's random, but it's random within the realm of reason. The characters need to have at least a core of their normal personalities for things to really hit home, or the "random" part just ends up feeling like a bunch of...well...random nonsense. And while I'm sure there are plenty who enjoy that, it just never really does anything for me. This story, on the other hand, managed to keep them just in-character enough to make it feel like the characters we've grown to love, while also preventing the randomness from going so far overboard that it fails to do what it's supposed to. Kind of like Discord: A fine balance of reason and chaos.
Also, this is quite probably one of my favorite depictions of Sombra in the fandom, if not THE favorite. So...yeah. Awesome job on the story.
I've been getting that a lot, actually. Clearly, I've hit on something.
What the hell XD That was great.
Genuinely the best use of Sombra I've seen in a while. Definitely the funniest. There's just something magical about his interactions with Shining Armour. I would read more about their Father/Son-in-Law adventures. (Spike can come along for the ride too)
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I might be working on exactly that.
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Begins with Powerman 5000 cover art.
Ends with a Farscape reference.
Beautiful stuff, PK.
Congrats on the site feature, mate!
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Thanks!
And also thanks. I might've been able to do it without your advice (and the advice of others), but it would've been substantially more difficult.
This was a delightfully silly romp.
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Mighta been!
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I'm glad both of you liked it. Be sure to check out some of the other stories in the same universe, even if they're maybe not as good.
I forgot to comment some days ago when I read this, but just wanted to say: thanks for one of the cutest, most random comedy stories I've read in a while!
Aww... I wanted more doom.
Alternatively, I want a unicorn who has never made a doomsday device and never will.
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Well, if I manage somehow to really step up my schedule, you'll get your wish.
Excellently done.
Bonus points for Sombra use.
And now I want to know what Rarity's doomsday device is. And Lyra's. And Minuette's... And...
I love it
I'm sad it's over though
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There's a couple more stories set in universe, which you can find here if you're not done reading yet.
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Yay, thanks for telling me
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Mainly just when being a dragon gets too complicated.
He spends a lot of time there.
Odd, fairly nonsensical and rife with editing mistakes.
But also enjoyable.
7529648 Did you know that if you reply to someone's comment on a different chapter than their original comment, they don't get the notification?
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Wait, seriously? That's actually the way the system's designed?
That's dumb.
7531358 Yes it is.
I found it quite hilarious. Kudos to you!
So this what it's like to be truly happy. That was beautiful.
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And so, almost 2 years after they're point out, I finally make these corrections.
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Not even one year since this was brought up! I believe you're thinking of antimatter.
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Fans are fickle creatures. A lot of junk gets popular while good content gets ignored, sad to say. That's why I never write anything on this site that I wouldn't get satisfaction out of composing even if no one read it. My Memoirs of My War is some of my favorite work, yet it didn't get much attention. All the same, I still felt better about life after writing it, so it achieved its purpose enough to satisfy me. It's rough not getting recognized, but always try to remember that the quality of something is not increased or diminished by recognition. If you write something good, take satisfaction in your success, even if no one else sees it.
Brilliant madness throughout... though I have to wonder about all the other unicorns in Equestria. Is there a doomsday device workshop at Celestia's school? What fabulous horrors lurk in the depths of Rarity's closet? Will Sweetie Belle conscript the other Crusaders as beautiful assistants?
Regardless, I wish I'd read this years ago. Thank you for it.
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Why stop now? There’s three more stories set in the Doomsdayverse. None of them are as good, but they’re there.
Ok, i've seen too much Dr. Who, because the title of this reminded me of the scene 'Anyone for dodgems?' with Capaldi(12th Doctor for the uninitiated/newbies).
Here is the scene
You can has review!
Really liked the editing mistakes. Proper running joke.
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I admit I'm pretty proud of those. Folks over at the Royal Canterlot Library weren't sure about them at first, but I drove them into the ground so hard that by the end, they couldn't imagine the story without that particular gag.
...very 2015
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... yowza, it really has been that long!
Hello! Have a review -- and a favourite. Effectively an extended, polished crackfic, and it has a huge advantage over many such in that it's really funny. I'm a big fan of good dialogue, and there was a bucketload here. The ending isn't the strongest, but it was just so much fun overall. I will be reading the sequel at some point.