• Member Since 3rd Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen 12 minutes ago

LoyalLiar


Co-founder of the Price of Loyalty universe.

E
Source

When rushing through the Everfree on a rainy day, Zecora falls victim to a danger when she really ought to know better.

The consequences are unexpectedly... poetic.

Winner of 1st Place in the Everfree Northwest 2015 Iron Author competition.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 17 )

Twas a different read indeed
More knowledge of Poe I think I need
To fully understand and appreciate.
But to cast these rhymes under such short time
Is a task most impressive and great!

Zecora seems like a really hard character to write dialogue for, and this is easily some of the best I've read.

I forgive you for having her break the fourth wall, but just barely.

How doth the stripe'ed zebra mare
Put on her trav'ling cloak
And look for herbal reagents rare
Amongst the poison joke!

Oh how her pride did overreach
Amid the toxic vines
She is bound up now in her speech
To awkward, stilted rhymes!
:moustache:

This was a fun read.
Good job with the Raven adaptation!

6057661

But to cast these rhymes under such short time
Is a task most impressive and great!

I will certainly say!
(Although a good rhyming dictionary works wonders...)

Congratulations, LL.
I've drifted quite far from the ponydom, but it's always great to see one of your favorite authors wining something.

I can see why this won. :twilightsmile: This is quite impressive for speed poetry!

Comments:
The repetition of "more"
The consistency is poor
As the usage grows and wanes across each stanza

I believe you cannot rhyme a word with itself
But for the rest drink to your health
For this story leaves me hungering for more

And out across the open sea,
we flew, and threw a ‘sea party’
that left me in a fouler mood than even twisted rhymes before.
I’d never been skysick before.

This was a really enjoyable read. It's easy to see how this won. I cracked up quite a bit at the though of poor Zecora stuck with Pinkie in a baloon while under the affliction of Poe.

I love the title of this story! I've read Edger Allen Poe's poem, "The Raven," and was quite impressed with how you played around with it. Have a thumbs up from me, good sir!

Did you read my mind? I was thinking about doing something like this.:pinkiecrazy:

Hah, brilliant, dude.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Spectacular, and even more so if you managed it in under two hours.

Actually... It occurs to me this may be more or less the only Zecora-centric fic I've ever seen/read.

Huh.

Rarity you silly foal:moustache:
In dragons hay you had to roll:raritywink:

Does Spike have a brother distant?:duck:
You know that dragons can make rocks pregnant?:raritystarry:

No time to waste we both must run:raritycry:
The price you pay for too much fun:facehoof:

pre09.deviantart.net/d5e0/th/pre/i/2014/348/9/9/oops__family_by_hillbe-d89w22a.jpg

Trochaic octameter!
And original as well, without mimicry.
Although I have written three Zecora stories in poetic verse, this is something I doubt I would have ever been able to do. And certainly not this well.
This was a true feast for the eyes.
VERY WELL DONE! :pinkiehappy:

I've been looking forward to reading this since I heard about it at Everfree NW. Very well done, sir!

Kudos to you for being able to write a poem in a meter that's most likely hard to use. Not only did it actually make sense, but it was entertaining! I'm sure Edgar would be proud.

As a sidenote, I like the idea of Ego's Weed. The fact that it only grows when it thinks it's being watched is intriguing. It definitely sounds like a plant that you would see in MLP.

Also, a few lines from the poem that I really liked:

those foul hydras could not stand to keep me from the herbal cure.
Of this fact, I must assure.

(and I must protest at just how hard it is to rhyme decor);

a swift and silent air balloon, not seen nor used since Season Four.

What’s with all of the trochaic
octameter? I don’t like it. Sounds depressing, that’s for sure!
Ooh, sounds spooky. Nevermore!

Good job!

:pinkiegasp: I'm the only one who can break the fourth wall!

Login or register to comment