Making the Stars Right
The day after Tirek's defeat, part of Twilight wanted nothing more than to curl up with a good book or twelve and read the day away. Soon after she had ascended, Fluttershy had assured her that any nesting instincts she might have felt were purely psychosomatic, but right now she still felt like literally burying herself in reading material and not leaving until the sun went down.
She had two reasons not to. Firstly, few books had survived the destruction of the Golden Oak Library, and replacements had yet to arrive. Secondly, curiosity and obsessive compulsion had ganged up on fatigue in her mind. Twilight had collapsed into her new bed last night, but now she couldn't rest without knowing the layout of her new castle. And maybe analyzing its magic. After all, it did seem to be the Tree of Harmony's offspring...
That did it. Twilight's brain wanted to go exploring, and her body had no choice but to follow. There wasn't much to see for the most part; the Tree had provided some basic furnishings, but many of the rooms were still waiting for a purpose.
The biggest surprise by far was in a room Twilight had already seen. Sitting on one of the seven thrones—Twilight's own, she couldn't help but note—was a unicorn stallion gazing off into the distance. He had no hat, and his robe was more of a colorless woolen blanket with a neck hole, but there was no mistaking the face she'd seen on countless busts and portraits. "Star Swirl the Bearded!"
He looked at her and smiled. "Twilight Sparkle. Princess Twilight Sparkle, I should say."
Twilight bowed. It seemed like the only thing to do when met with somepony so great. She stared at the crystalline floor for an uncomfortably long time.
Finally, Star Swirl said, "You're bowing to me, aren't you?"
Twilight gulped, but she didn't look up. "Er, yes, sir."
"Well, I'm doing the same." She could hear the grin in his voice. "One of us is going to have to get up first if we're going to continue this conversation. I suggest it be the alicorn princess."
"Right." Twilight brought her head back up, and her mind boggled at the sight of one of the greatest figures of history bowing before her. "Uh, rise. Please."
Star Swirl did so. "As you wish, Princess."
"And call me Twilight."
He nodded. "Certainly. I prefer Star Swirl myself. No sirs, as I am most definitely not your sire, and I came to you humbly." The old stallion tilted his head back to indicate his robe.
Twilight chewed her lip for a moment. "Not that this isn't a tremendous honor, but why are you here?"
Star Swirl looked around the room. "To remind myself that it was worth it."
"What was?"
He sighed, taking on that distant look again. "Do you know what happened to me, at the end?"
Twilight squirmed. "Um, should I tell you? I mean, knowing how you're going to..." She paused. "Well, actually, nopony is quite sure how you died. Er, will die, from your perspective."
"You are wise to hesitate with such knowledge, but that isn't what I asked."
Twilight tamped down her wonder as much as she could and thought about the question. "Do you know, si— Star Swirl?"
He shook his head. "I assure you, you know at least as much as I do in that regard."
"Well, your last appearance in the historical record was about a hundred years before Nigh... Er, before the fall of the Everfree castle. Even before then, you had a tendency to vanish for decades, even centuries at a time. But before your final departure, you told Celestia and Luna that you wouldn't be coming back, that you had nothing more to teach them." Twilight gasped, her eyes widening. "Does... does this mean—?"
"I have not returned to teach you, Twilight." Star Swirl gave a wheezy chuckle as he saw her ears droop. "Don't fret, now. Truth be told, you're the one who should be teaching me."
Twilight's jaw dropped. She took a step back. "I... I would never presume to—"
"You should, both in this case and in general. I've found a good presumption is an indispensable tool for a magical scholar who wants to actually use that knowledge." Star Swirl smirked. "I wouldn't be here otherwise."
Twilight held her head in her forehooves, trying to gather her whirling thoughts. "You said you wanted to prove something was worth... something?"
"Yes. I may have vanished from history, but that was only so I could watch over it."
After a moment, Twilight tilted her head. "I don't understand."
"I'm not surprised." Star Swirl frowned as he saw Twilight droop. "My apologies. I meant that I haven't tried to explain this to anypony before. Equish wasn't designed to express what I have seen. I will do my best with the tools I have." He frowned and muttered to himself for some time before saying, "To look upon the world from outside time is not an easily described experience. Picture, if you will, a vast space of everything that could be and a line tracing out the most probable path through those events, drifting like a winding river."
Twilight nodded. "I can see that."
"Well, that image is wholly wrong, but in a way that approaches a truth that we four-dimensional beings just aren't equipped to process." Star Swirl smirked. "At least, not most of us. Still, that realm without time, in all senses of the phrase, is where this story begins..."
Star Swirl the Bearded had never completed the destiny spell, but he had been able to apply some lateral thinking to the subject of immortality. Though he could not harden himself against time's flow through ascension, he could still take himself out of the timestream entirely. Now—for a given meaning of "now"—free from age and hunger and all of the other concerns that assume one's body is aging, he could look upon all of history at once.
It wasn't pretty.
The harmony of ponykind was an incredibly fragile thing from a timeless viewpoint. Star Swirl could see all the myriad ways that that light could be snuffed out. Ice ages, whether the products of windigos or an absent sun, froze the world solid. Heat from within and without the planet melted its very surface. Hatred and conquest laid waste to the nations of ponykind. Apathy and corruption rotted them from within.
If asked, Star Swirl would say he did not meddle. Not anymore. On occasion, he made some small change to ensure the best possible outcome. A briefly waylaid messenger here, a prominently placed tome there... Had it been attempted from within time, it could not be done, for the events either had or had not happened, and no effort from those who came after could change them. At least, not without magics that nopony in their right mind would cast.
From his current position, Star Swirl had much freer rein. It was not meddling, he would insist. Nothing good had ever come of his meddling. Given that and the obvious benefits of his minor adjustments as they rippled outward, the acts were demonstrably something else.
Once again—for even Star Swirl could not strip all linearity from his thinking—the bright line of what was, is, and would be strayed from his preferred path, and equinity was lost. He leaned in closer to the divergence point. It was a time of returns for both Princess Luna and the Elements of Harmony. There was the curious little curlicue of twisted time, splitting out of the main line like a thread out of a rope before feeding back in, that marked Twilight Sparkle giving herself a self-fulfilling prophecy. And there, just a bit afterwards...
Celestia gasped and sprang up in her bed.
Shadows in the corners of the room blended together, forming Luna. "Sister, are you alright?!"
Celestia put a hoof to her chest, trying to calm herself. "I've just had the most terrible dream."
"Why do you think I'm here?" Luna moved closer, her sympathetic look hardening as she said, "You know as well as I that this was not a dream, but a vision."
Celestia gave a grim nod and got out of bed. "Then we haven't much time." She sighed. "I fear Cadence and Shining Armor's honeymoon will have to be cut short."
Luna snorted. "If that is the worst that comes of this, then we should be thankful."
———
The sisters tabled their discussion until the next afternoon. Celestia dismissed her advisors from the throne room, leaving only Luna to stand by her side. Celestia's glowing eyes stared at nothing, the aura around her horn almost as brilliant as her sun.
Finally, she ended the spell and shook her head. "Nothing. Wherever Tirek hides, it is somewhere the sun's light cannot reach, even at high noon."
"Unsurprising. He is cunning when he must be, and has had centuries to contemplate our strengths and weaknesses. Still, your vision gave us a general area."
"Yes. The unnamed city of the Hollow Shades, where he can hide with dozens of other fugitives." Celestia sighed. "If I had had time to reform Discord—"
Luna rolled her eyes. "Sister, your sun would be red and bloated with age by the time he would be reformed. Let us focus on the monster of the moment."
"Agreed." Celestia stepped off of her throne and began pacing about the room, thinking aloud as she did so. "We can't just send the Guard diving in. All they'll do is alienate the Hollowfolk even more than usual. There are too many things kept hidden there, too many monsters. Just because one happens to be preying on pony magic doesn't mean they'll want our help before it's too late."
Luna scowled. "Did you not once say that you meant to wipe the Shades off the face of Equestria? What ever became of that?"
"I tried. They dodged."
"Ah." Luna cleared her throat. "That would explain why they're in a different part of the nation. And whence came that stretch of wasteland where they used to be."
"Monster of the moment, Luna," Celestia said flatly.
"Indeed. We could send forth the Bearers of Harmony. The Elements' power should be sufficient to stop Tirek."
Celestia shook her head. "There's no guarantee of that. Besides, we'd be sending two unicorns at him, one of whom is Twilight Sparkle."
Luna winced. "Aye, may as well just present him with a banquet and be through with it. I may mislike your plans for her, but I admit, another alicorn would be very useful right now."
"We'll have to employ the only other one we can spare. Cadence should be able to detect Scorpan's love for all living things easily. Wherever he is, she'll find him." Celestia came to halt before the throne, staring up at nothing. "He's our best hope against his brother."
"Now as before, yes. Tirek may anticipate it, but Scorpan will still be our—"
The doors to the throne room burst open as a guard charged in. "News from northern Equestria!" He took a step back as the scrutiny of the diarchs fell upon him. "Er, Your Highnesses."
Luna glared at him. "We gave strict instructions that we were not to be disturbed."
Celestia put a hoof on her sister's withers. "Unless it was vitally important." She turned to the stallion. "What is it, Lieutenant Diligence?"
He doffed his helmet. "I am simply to tell you that it has returned."
Both sisters stared at Diligence for just long enough to make his gut twist with anxiety. Finally, Celestia said. "Find Shining Armor and Princess Cadence immediately."
Diligence nodded, already backing towards the door. "At once, Your Highness." He turned and galloped back out, his helmet crookedly replaced.
Luna was still staring at the space he'd occupied for several more seconds. The light inexplicably dimmed around her as frost formed along her regalia. Finally, she hissed, "He planned this."
Celestia sighed. "Luna."
"It's just like him!" Luna began circling her sister, wings fully spread in agitation. "He knew this would happen. I don't know how, but he knew. He always had an infuriating sense of timing. Every move at the worst possible moment. And now, now he has the absolute, impertinent gall to return to this plane of existence when we already have one threat to our ponies to contend with. One where the lynchpin of our strategy is the one who must oppose him!" She came to a halt and pointed at Celestia. "Mark my words, Tia, Sombra knew this would happen. He knew and he is laughing at us."
Celestia wrapped Luna in a winghug. "Whether or not he is, we need another plan for Tirek."
"We have but one," Luna said as she fought her way out from under Celestia's plumage. "Without Cadence, the hunt for Scorpan could take months, if not years. Now more than ever, we do not have that luxury. We must confront the soul thief ourselves."
For more than a minute Celestia was silent. Finally she gave a slow nod. "Much as I wish otherwise, I must agree."
———
Shining Armor guided the Bearers and Spike back to the train station, the Crystal Heart's light making their shadows stretch out before them.
Shining grinned at Twilight. "You've gotta stop saving my rump like this. It's starting to get embarrassing."
"Allow me to assuage your concern."
All present looked up from their conversations. And up. And up. A titanic figure emerged from the haze of the windblown snow, an apelike torso grafted onto an equine body, standing tall as a house before taking its bull-like horns into account. Around its neck was an equally immense necklace, a horned head and wings over a glowing red gem.
Tirek grinned. "No one will save you ever again." He opened his mouth, inhaled, and strode past the insignificant husks. The last alicorn awaited.
From there, the course was clear. Enfeebling. Enslavement. Extinction.
It only took a matter of years before the ponies' overworked, magic-starved bodies gave out. Less than a century before all of their works were reduced to dust. And then, as he had long before, Tirek abandoned a wasteland, seeking a new place to consume.
Star Swirl cracked his neck. This one would take some finesse. Tartarus existed on a different temporal plane, to prevent the escape of those prisoners who could twist time or step out of it. That was how Tirek was able to cause such a drastic shift in the first place. Star Swirl would not be able to reach Tirek before the fiend made good his escape, nor could he access Cerberus before the guardian beast ran off. Though perhaps there was a way to keep the hound's flight short.
Star Swirl seemed to flicker, here one moment, gone the next, here again the third, though much more disheveled. Cerberus, it seemed, was in a blind rage. It would take the Bearer of Kindness or a similar pony to gentle him before he could be led back to his post. Star Swirl had even less talent with animals than he did with ponies, so taking her place was not an option.
However, he did have two well-trained alicorns...
Discord was sealed anew, and Equestria could rest... relatively easy. Celestia dragged herself to her bed, eager to begin her own recovery from the ordeal. Then she spotted the letter waiting on her pillow, smelling of dust and written in spidery hornwriting she hadn't seen in centuries.
Celestia couldn't help but groan a little as she lifted the paper closer.
Celestia,
I have located the Alicorn Amulet in the city of the Hollow Shades. It is imperative that you secure it before it falls into the wrong hands.
Yours,
SS
She sighed as she put down the letter. "I do wish we didn't have to meet like this anymore, old friend."
———
"Incredible," said Celestia as she took the box in her magic. She didn't need to open it. She could feel the Amulet's malice through mere proximity. "How did you manage to retrieve it so quickly?"
"In the shadows of your nation, zebras have a reputation. Why I went there, none dared ask for fear I would take them to task."
Celestia moved the box onto the back of the waiting Night Guard. They had kept her sister's holdings safe for a millennium. One more dark artifact would be simple enough. "I hope you didn't have to hurt anypony."
Zecora shook her head. "No damage dealt, no harm befell, no ponies left my sight unwell."
"I thank you, Zecora, as does all of Equestria. Twilight showed great wisdom in asking you to do this for us. Whatever you wish of me, you may ask for it." After a beat, Celestia grinned. "Within reason."
"There's no desire I can name." Zecora hesitated, her confident air giving away to uncertainty in stance and expression. "Though, will I grace a window frame?"
Celestia shrugged her wings. "Only if you want to."
Zecora shook her head. "My mission turned out rather plain. I doubt you'd like the windowpane." She smiled, her earlier poise returning. "A walk, a sale, a little bluff? Just knowing I did good's enough."
———
Months later, Tirek and Sombra's returns coincided. As Shining Armor, Cadence, and the Bearers trekked to the Frozen North, Celestia and Luna scoured the Hollow Shades, to no avail.
"I don't suppose our shaman friend could help?" asked Luna as they hovered over an especially dreary bog, an overcast sky over an equally grey region where not even the moss looked healthy.
"I suspect this may be a bit more than she can handle," said Celestia.
"A shame." Flocks of birds took wing beneath the sisters. The stagnant waters of the bog rippled. Luna's head darted about as she looked for the disturbance, her horn bright. "What in the name of the Moon?"
Celestia flew to her side in a familiar old formation, each sister watching the other's back. The elder frowned as she scanned the area. "I don't see any—"
"Move!" Luna supplemented her shout by grabbing Celestia in her magic and tugging her along in desperate flight. Celestia looked behind them and saw a hand reaching up from the bog beneath them, the limb blackened, dripping with muck, and big enough to grab either of them.
As the sisters collected themselves, they watched in horror as the rest of the creature emerged, dragging its broken horns up through the peat and bracken, shambling onto its gargantuan hooves.
Celestia winged back, ears flat and eyes wide. "What did Tirek do?"
Luna shuddered as she recalled ancient, forbidden lore. "You remember how you said the Shades dodged when you attempted to scour them? So desperate was he for power, Tirek attempted to consume that awareness." She gulped. "It would appear that it has consumed him."
Slowly, inexorably, the titanic figure turned, gazing upon them with dark, empty eyes. Its lips pulled back, revealing cracked and mossy teeth.
A beam of concentrated light slammed down from the afternoon sun and struck the horror right where its first waist met its withers, almost cleaving it in two. The bog flashed into steam, and much of the vegetation burst into flames.
Celestia glared at the steam cloud, the fires within casting strange lights. "Dodge that."
I D O N ' T N E E D T O .
The declaration wasn't an audible sound but a psychic assault, forming the words through newly formed gaps in the listener's sanity. The sisters reeled, struggling just to keep their wings spread enough to glide. Bog-preserved muscles creaked like old rope strained to the breaking point as a pair of undead jaws opened.
Star Swirl scowled and pulled the letter out of the timestream, watching as history returned to the earlier course. At least that version left something alive.
Loath as Star Swirl was to admit it, perhaps that idea about reforming Discord wasn't so crazy after all. Still, there was a slim sweet spot. Too soon after his return, and the Bearers would never agree to it. Too close to Celestia's vision, and he'd either side with Tirek or try to duel him. Either result was disastrous for ponykind. The wizard moved his next letter back and forth along the timeline, watching the future from that point.
Putting it right where he had estimated the optimal point's location... made things even worse.
Star Swirl scowled and examined the results.
"I have use for Discord's magic if it can be reformed to serve good instead of evil."
———
"Go on. Say it."
"Oh... friendshipismagic!"
———
"Yer brother's gettin' married?" Applejack beamed. "Congratulations, Twilight! That's great news!"
Twilight rolled her eyes. "Yeah, great news. That I just got from a wedding invitation! Not from my brother, but from a piece of paper!"
"And there wasn't even anything in the letter about how I would contribute to the occasion!" Discord cried, his head springing out of the picnic basket, making everypony but Fluttershy flinch back.
Twilight recovered first, glaring at him. "Discord!"
He quirked an eyebrow at her, his head staying stationary while the rest of him wriggled out of the basket. "What? Just because you're taking umbrage doesn't mean you can't leave some for the rest of us. Besides, not inviting a spirit of chaos to a wedding is terribly bad luck."
"You ain't gonna do some fool thing like start th' Trotian War, are ya?" Applejack said, scowling.
Discord turned to her, eyes wide for a moment before he smirked. "Let me guess. The only reason you know that legend is because there's an apple in it."
Applejack tilted her hat back to a better scowling angle. "More to a Manehattan education than which one's th' salad fork."
"The spoon-shaped one, obviously. But no, I have no intention of repeating myself, and I'm not feeling particularly female this century besides. No, I will do the worst thing I could possibly do." Discord let the statement hang in the air for a moment before deflating the word balloon and saying, "I am going to deny you all the privilege of my presence until this trite little ceremony is over with. Ta ta." With that, he vanished in his usual flash of light.
"Oh no," Twilight deadpanned. "Please. Don't. Anything but that."
Fluttershy frowned at her. "Now, Twilight, can't you tell his feelings were hurt?"
"Sorry, Fluttershy. He's... still more of a friend of a friend." Twilight shook her head. "Now, what was I— Right." She glared. "Really, Shining Armor?"
———
"Hmm..." Discord took in the scene. Undisguised changelings everywhere, green bursts of magic flashing like fireworks, the faint sounds of panicked screams audible even from up here when the updrafts from the burning buildings were right. "You know what this needs? More of an audience." With a thought and a flash, he summoned Fluttershy into his arms.
She squeaked with shock before looking around and up. "Discord! The others are trying to fight off the changelings, but there are just so many of them. Please, help us."
He tilted his head, considering this. "I'm not sure how I can help. There's very little room left for improvement down there."
"You may be enjoying this, but it's awful for everypony else."
"Awful? Look again, Fluttershy. Try to see it from my perspective." Discord pointed her at Canterlot and did something he would've never even contemplated before she befriended him.
He shared his power.
Fluttershy's sclera glowed, gradually shifting to match her mane. The explosions became beautiful, flowers blossoming and wilting in moments, dancing debris flying along a thousand elegant trajectories. "No..." The screams and hisses took on an eerily musical quality. "Please, no, I don't..." The intent behind the swarming changelings became clear to her, the purpose behind the seemingly random motion. It was horrible. It was breathtaking. "I... I..."
Her eyes locked on the carnage below, Flutterhsy squirmed, sometimes in ways and places that weren't anatomically possible. Wide-eyed, Discord let her go. She hovered under her own power despite her wings' slow, irregular flaps. Then she began to elongate.
"You see it, don't you?" Discord beamed as Fluttershy stretched and shifted. The feathers of one wing melded into the skin stretching across digits splitting out of the arm. The feathers of the other shifted to scales as the bones melted and the flesh reshaped itself. "The beauty of it all."
"I..." Fluttershy forced her eyes shut, only for her mutating skull to stretch in just the right way to pull her eyelids apart. Her pupils were gone, leaving just green on pink. "I do," she admitted, her words slurred by her shifting jaw. "It'sh shtill horrible... but I do."
Discord focused on a different beauty. What had been just another pegasus was now something truly unique. One wing a bat's, the other a butterfly's. Arms of a raccoon and a dragon, legs of a frog and a Saddle Arabian horse. The cutie mark was still there, but the pink and green had muddled together into a Horschach test that could mean everything and nothing. On one end, a shimmering fish tail. On the other, a pair of antennae, a moth's feathery apparatus and an ant's segmented probe. He took her in his arms. "Oh, my happy little accident. My Serendipity. The wonderful thing about chaos is that if you don't like something, you can change it."
Serendipity considered this. She smiled, revealing a set of teeth that, by sheer coincidence, perfectly matched those of her balding ape counterpart in a very different worldline. With an unhinged giggle, she snapped her fingers.
Star Swirl sighed and looked away. Love and chaos, the banes of reliable, reproducible results. He tore the second letter out of the timestream with a snarl and watched fate reorient around Tirek's triumph. Still terrible, yes, but the preferable scenario thus far.
The old stallion considered his remaining options. Direct confrontation was off the table, of course. Any attempt to strike Tirek down with unicorn magic would be like trying to swat parasprites with a wheel of cheese. It would be the last, most foolish thing Star Swirl would ever do.
A few more trials revealed destiny's intent. The Elements weren't enough. At least, not on their own. An attempt to direct them at Tirek resulted in him drinking in the rainbow, then smiting the Bearers for their impudence. Still, the six mares lasted far longer than they should have, fate itself trying to preserve them. Sadly, it only made their deaths that much more painful.
Star Swirl's mind raced through the implications. It would take direct intervention by the Tree itself to overwhelm the centaur's abilities, but once the Elements were returned to it, it would not relinquish them until it had fully recovered its own strength. That would not happen in Twilight Sparkle's mortal lifetime. Even if the Tree could be coaxed into action in time to stop Tirek, Twilight would never ascend, and so that path merely delayed the doom of ponykind. The Princess of Friendship was necessary for the future. She would lure Sunset Shimmer out of exile and set her on her own path to ascension. She would turn Starlight Glimmer—and what a headache she was!—saving the Crystal Empire and more besides. She would reignite the guttering stars and resurrect Equestria's dying magic. But with Tirek loose so early, Twilight didn't have the time she needed to fulfill that destiny.
Hmm. There was a thought. If time was the issue, perhaps Star Swirl could shorten the timetable. In the previous optimal timeline, Twilight ascended a few years after moving to Ponyville, but the relevant events covered less than one. If he could remove the chaff...
After a few adjustments, the timeline went skewing off into even worse territory. Eye twitching, Star Swirl peered into the new history.
Rarity and Applejack were visiting Fluttershy for tea. Neither of their own homes were suitable for guests at the moment, nor was much of the rest of Ponyville.
Rarity sipped and sighed. "Such a shame."
"She was such a nice pony," said Fluttershy.
Applejack snorted. "Nice, sure, but more trouble than a tinfoil plow."
"Applejack, really!" Rarity cried. "Is that any way to speak about a friend, especially behind her tail?"
"Were we friends?" Applejack raised her hooves as the others protested. "Hear me out, now. Sure, we had some good times together, but ever since Twilight came to town, it's just been one thing after another. Ah dunno 'bout you two, but Ah've barely had a moment's peace since the Summer Sun Celebration."
Neither other mare could look her in the eye after that. "It's a rather harsh way of putting it," said Rarity, "but..."
Fluttershy gave a reluctant nod. "It's true."
"Ain't no wonder she snapped. Filly was high-strung from the day she first got here. All that stress..." Applejack shook her head. "It's a darn shame, but Ah ain't surprised it happened."
"Nor am I, I confess." Rarity sighed. "I do wish she could've spared the town, though."
Fluttershy drooped, looking into her teacup. "And that poor Ursa Minor."
Applejack put a leg over the pegasus's withers. "Least Princess Luna's feelin' well enough that she could help you calm down its mama."
Rarity freshened her cup. "Well, hopefully with the summer behind us, things will be returning to normal."
Outside, the first flakes of raspberry gelato began to fall to the sound of soft, draconequine laughter.
Star Swirl winced as he pulled away from the scene. He had to admit, at this point, he had slipped back into meddling. He undid the previous changes until the timestream returned to the previous, mildly more favorable state.
"One more try," he said to himself, his words resonating oddly in the space beyond time. "One more try, for good or for ill."
Discord looked upon the land and saw that all was without reason or form. And it was good.
"My lord?"
Discord turned away from watching several pins playing an enormous ponyball machine, bringing his attention to a beard and its attendant unicorn. The beard regarded Discord with commendable confidence. The unicorn... well, at the very least, Discord was willing to give him points for his daring use of bells.
"Well now." Discord smiled. "Hello there, my little pony. How may I make your life more chaotic today?" He barked out a laugh. "Oh, listen to me. As if you had a say in the matter." With a snap of his talons—
The unicorn's horn lit up.
—snolat sih fo pans a htiW
Discord blinked and sniffed at his eagle limb, then smacked his lips as he considered the magic's bouquet. "A localized time-reversal field. Not centered on me, of course; not even I know what would happen then. No, you centered it on where my hand was in space and time. You even threw in some mediating factors to deal with how time-reversed matter is indistinguishable from antimatter. How thoughtful." He no longer looked amused. His expression now spoke of something far more dangerous: curiosity. He leaned on one arm of his throne as it rotated to face the pony. "Congratulations. You're interesting enough that I'm willing to listen to you for a few minutes."
The stallion bowed, making the bells on his hat and robe jingle. "Thank you, my lord."
Discord gagged. "I am not your lord. Lordship implies a far more organized hierarchy than my preferred model of me followed by everything else." He patted one of the throne's arms. "Even the chair's more to give lumbar support than act a sign of rulership. You may refer to me by any of my preferred appellations, such as 'Discord,' 'Spirit,' 'oh rut me, it's him,' or 'my lord.'"
This got a jingly nod. "As you wish, Discord. I am Star Swirl, called the Bearded One."
"I don't recall asking." Discord stroked his beard, which was lying on his lap and purring. "Why haven't I turned you into a nectarine, again?"
"You found me interesting."
Discord rolled over so he was resting on his chest, couching his face in his mismatched palms. "So I did. Finding somepony who can get a spell to work on me is such a rare treat." He twisted himself until he was floating above Star Swirl, looking at him from directly overhead. "I'm guessing you're not from around here. Or more accurately, from around now."
Star Swirl met his gaze, nothing in the pony's eyes but weariness. "You would be correct."
"Hmm. Well, that's quite interesting in and of itself. Past? Future? Alternate present?" Discord grinned. "No, don't tell me. It's more fun if I have to guess." His tufted tail produced a magnifying glass and brought it to his eye. He began orbiting Star Swirl, analyzing him from every angle. "Curious. Quite curious. Could go either way, really. I'm going to err on the side of future, though. There's no way that outfit could ever be forgotten. I suppose you come about during one of my vacations."
"Vacations?"
Discord shrugged. "What can I say? Unruling over a bunch of ungrateful horses gets old. At least, I assume it will. So, pop out for a few centuries, let them collect themselves, build up a few things it'll be fun to knock over. Seems like something I'd do."
Star Swirl gave a noncommittal grunt. "Be that as it may, I come seeking a boon."
Discord quirked an eyebrow. "Oh, you do, do you? Mister Fancy-Schmancy-Chronomancy here with his big blue robe, vworp-vworping his way about the timeline." He went muzzle to muzzle with the stallion. "Who do you think you are to ask me for favors?"
Star Swirl gave no visible reaction to the draconequus in his face. "Tell me," he said, "do you know how many ways ponykind can be brought to extinction?"
Never one to pass up a non sequitur, Discord flashed back to his throne and answered, "Not off the top of my head, but I'm sure I could think of a few dozen. Hundred. Thousand. Million." He tilted his head. "Not sure how well those last few would work, actually. Still, it's not like ponies have to worry about any of them. I know better than to break my toys beyond repair. After all, that's why I'm not doing any time travel. Sure, there's some paradox protection in place, but I could overwhelm it if I really wanted to. That would break the universe, and that's where I keep all of my stuff! And what would I do afterwards, make a new universe?" Discord stuck out his tongue. "That sounds unpleasantly like work."
"There are times when your beneficence does not protect ponykind," Star Swirl said with a straight face. "In those times, I have been guiding it from the shadows, keeping it on the most favorable course."
Discord gave a lion's-thumbs-up. "Good to hear it. I'm sure future me will thank you for looking after the place while he was out."
Star Swirl slumped a little. "But there is one force, for all my wisdom and trickery, that I am powerless against, for which I need your aid, o Spirit."
One of Discord's eyebrows rose. He grabbed it by the string before it floated off. "Go on..."
"Do you know of the one called Tirek?"
"Tirek, Tirek..." The word appeared above Discord's head, sprouted arms and legs, picked up a padded mallet, and rang a gong. Discord perked up, dislodging the name, and cried, "Ah, of course! Vorak's colt! Fell in with Sendak the Accursed, tried to learn magical vampirism." Discord shuddered. "There are some lines even I won't... cross..." His face fell, slipping to his midsection before he fixed it back in place. He shook his head. "Oh, tell me he didn't."
"He will," said Star Swirl. "Twice. The first time, I will defeat him, with the aid of my mistresses and his own brother."
Discord gawked, too surprised to make a gag out of his dropped jaw. "You turned Scorpan against his brother? He's the biggest toadie to ever grow warts! Even I'd have to brute-force that one. How did you manage it?"
Star Swirl dipped his head. "Through a power I barely comprehend, and that you know not of."
Discord tapped his eagle talons against an armrest."Since you're seeking my aid, you should know that I have very little patience for the 'vague wisdom' schtick."
"The power of friendship."
The draconequus made a flatulent noise with his lips. "Fine, fine, keep your secrets. So, that's the first time taken care of. I take it you can't do a repeat performance for the rematch?"
"There are six who are destined to defeat him," Star Swirl said, "but he breaks loose from Tartarus before they are ready to do so."
"Big whoop. Find someone else."
Star Swirl shook his head. "Destiny is firm on the matter. My attempts to circumvent it only lead to greater devastation."
Discord crossed his arms. "What, greater than Tirek sucking down every drop of pony magic?"
Star Swirl looked deep into his eyes. "My early, clod-hoofed intrusions wrought eons of suffering and tyrants the likes of which even you would shudder to witness. Death is a mercy compared to some of the paths down which I have unwittingly led equinity."
Discord found himself on the other end of abyss-staring for once, and blinked. "O... kay then. So what's the problem with the half-dozen heroes?"
"As with Tirek's first defeat, it must be the bonds between them that lay him low."
"Suuuure it must," Discord said with a snort.
"But they have fewer than two years from when they first meet to prepare, and they cannot be allowed to know that they are preparing, for that would defeat the purpose!" Star Swirl began to pace. "The moment they come together is set in temporal stone, so they cannot meet sooner! I cannot force them into readiness, for rushing them will destroy their friendships, not build them! They need times of peace, times when they need be only ponies, not heroes, but they cannot afford them!" Star Swirl hung his head, his breathing heavy. "And thus, o Spirit, I come to you."
"I don't know if you noticed, but 'friendship'..." Discord paused to gag. "Well, that isn't exactly my thing. How do you expect me of all conceptual embodiments to help?"
Star Swirl took a deep breath. "Render their time fluid."
Discord tented his fingers. "Explain."
"Effects will still follow their causes, but it will be unclear how unrelated causes relate to one another. Time will still progress, but it will be nigh-impossible to say how much."
"I think I get it," said Discord. "You can't beat the time limit, so you're making it irrelevant." He grinned. "You'd make a pretty good spirit of chaos."
Star Swirl shook his head. "I doubt any could confuse the two of us."
Discord snorted. "Don't flatter yourself. I said 'pretty good,' not 'sexily flawless.'"
"Will you aid me in this?"
"Hmm..." Discord gritted his teeth. "I hate to admit it, but you will need to lend a hoof. As I said, I haven't done much time magic."
Star Swirl nodded. "I will do so gladly."
"Then why not? Sounds interesting enough." Discord held up an eagle talon. "On one condition."
"Name it."
A grin crept across Discord's face, leaving a faint, mucousy trail. "We keep going."
Star Swirl took a step back. "What?"
"If this proves as fun as it sounds, then I see no reason to stop at some arbitrary milestone," said Discord. "I want to get as much entertainment out of this as I can."
Star Swirl glared at him. "And should it grow dull before Tirek falls?"
"You're making a deal with the draconequus." Discord twirled a pitchfork. "Surely you knew there would be risks."
"And you will let Tirek lay waste to your playthings?"
Discord snarled. "You play dirty."
Star Swirl smirked. "It is the only way to play against one such as you."
A chuckle. "True. Very well, I suppose I'll keep it going until these heroes of yours are on a solid footing." Discord wagged a talon. "But don't tell anyone about this. I have a bad reputation to uphold."
"As you say." And for the first time in far too long, even by the standards of a realm beyond time, a genuine smile touched Star Swirl's lips.
In Twilight's throne room, that smile did not repeat itself. Star Swirl bowed his head. "And so, there you have it. The whole dirty truth."
He felt something on his withers and looked up, tracking the hoof to Twilight's softly smiling face. "Star Swirl, you saved us from extinction."
"By ruining your lives several times and muddling the very fabric of your existence."
"And if there was any other way, I'm sure you would've found it."
Star Swirl shrugged off the hoof. "Your faith in me is appreciated but misplaced, Twilight. I am a meddler and a fool, as I always have been."
"You still saved countless lives."
"I merely set the stage for you to do so, in ways I oft could not conceive." Star Swirl took a deep breath. "Still... thank you. You are as gracious as you are wise." He stepped off of the throne. "But I must return to my post. Other threats from without time may yet threaten equinity."
"Well, we're in good hooves. And if you ever need a sympathetic ear, you know where to find me." Twilight giggled a little. "And when, I suppose."
Star Swirl hesitated for a moment, then nodded. "I suppose I do." He lit his horn and vanished, reality rippling in his wake.
Star Swirl reappeared in the same room, though emptier. He walked to the Throne of Magic, before the pony sitting there.
The other, earlier Star Swirl looked at him. "It is done?"
Star Swirl nodded. "It is."
"Would that we could tell her in a way that would stick."
"We know what would happen if we did."
"Yes, but..." The other Star Swirl sighed.
Star Swirl nodded, understanding as only he could. "At least we clear our conscience."
"As much as we can. Let us away before she finds us and we must drag a third into this."
And with that, he left time once more, memories melding into a seamless whole. And once more, he continued his vigil over the course of the future.
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Interesting concept, I liked it!
Marvelous, fascinating, and slightly brain-funky.
This is by far the best excuse for the insane time jumps and impossibilities in the show that isn't the actual reason!
Well done, well done indeed.
Though honestly, I prefer medium rare.
I don't think I read this in the writeoff. I'm almost glad, because it means I get to enjoy it for the first time now. I like it. A lot.
Man, this makes three WriteOff related fics uploaded today. What's goin' on?
7128676
All qualities I aspire towards, especially the brain funk.
7128699
Thank you, my good Weepintuff. I'm glad you approve.
7128707
(And yeah, doesn't look like you entered that round of the Writeoff.)
7128737
My current guess is that it's a ripple effect from Serendipity manipulating higher levels of reality to realize her own existence.
An excellent work. It's always fun watching people try to construct a sensible time line, a feat that has become increasingly difficult with each passing season and may now be impossible. In universe, anyway. Out of universe, the reason for all this is pretty clear: the writers couldn't care less about it; they make no effort at all to keep it consistent or plausible.
Good for Equestria that they have a sort of omniscient time wizard watching out for them. Just unfortunate for him that he alone has to bear witness to so many horrors so that the rest can sleep at night. As Starlight showed, so much could go wrong.
Interesting story and fun explanation for the show's wacky timeline. Based on how many holidays and seasons they go through, this makes as much sense as any. And huh, you even threw in a reference to Sunset ascending, always happy to see that.
Well done! I don't know what else to say besides how much I utterly loved this. Great job!
It was all I hoped it would be and more. Was not expecting Discord to play such a large role. Always appreciate when a writer uses him well.
I'll probably have to take this as headcanon if my own efforts to decipher the timeline come up for nought.
*Sees title*
Huh. Methinks someone is a Heinlein fan.
A brilliant method of explaining the... lax approach the writers have taken in regards to the timeline. Also, some of those failed timelines creeped the hell out of me.
Heh. When the best efforts at order fail, fail, and fail again, there's one last resort.
Time for a little chaos.
Does this in any way relate to Lazarus Long?
-ain, time travel is the cause and solution to an infinite number of problems. Once ag-
derpicdn.net/img/view/2014/3/29/588226__safe_solo_screencap_animated_smiling_cute_derpy+hooves_sitting_loop_derpabetes.gif
7129107
It's clear, yes, but I hate Doylist explanations for Watsonian problems. Plus, there is some continuity in terms of callbacks and personal plot arcs. (Heck, there was even an explicit reference to one of the G. M. Berrow books in "The Mane Attraction.") As such, I tried to create a model that accurately reflects the state of causality in Equestria.
7129116
If Sunset Shimmer ever does return to Equestria and doesn't have wings, I will be... well, not surprised. It's not like they ever spelled it out one way or another. But I will be disappointed.
7129370
I don't want you to give up your efforts, but I do love it when I give people new headcanon...
Eh, best of luck. If all else fails, you have a fallback position now.
7130094
Just because I'm mostly about wackiness and card games doesn't mean I don't have a dark side. There are many ideas I'll never write, many stories I'll never tell...
7130118
Sometimes all of the debugging in the world can't compare to giving the darn thing a good, solid whack.
7130177
Star Swirl would, in fact, dare to eat a peach.
7130391
Only in the most tangential sense, as mentioned in the author's note.
7130400
Ah, applauding Best Pony. The highest praise to which I can aspire.
7130118 Indeed, I still remember how my friend once punched his laptop when it froze after much debugging had failed. It worked!
It's here! ... What's with that ending? ... Starswirl's from the future or something?
I guess Twilight got a memory wipe... ... And Starswirl can't affect the events of
histhe past without a paradox, so he has to affect the future, where both 'past' and 'future' are from the point where he left time...There two typos somewhere, and one of them is an extra space... Ah:
"New(s) from northern Equestria!"
"in haled"
7130674
No, Star Swirl went back a few minutes to before Twilight found him, told himself he'd taken care of things, and left before she reached the throne room. I've adjusted that last scene to clarify matters.
I liked this one. The bad future segments and attempts to fix them were very creative, and earn a thumbs up all on their own. I could have done without shoehorning in an attempt to "explain" comic time at the end, but if that's where the inspriation comes from, that's where it comes from.
This is an excellent explanation of why FiM makes so little sense in time!
Well... the Serendipity timeline will certainly be unpredictable.
7130690
Ah, so that way Twilight doesn't remember Star Swirl.
I love time, it makes my brain smile. The sheer complexity of it.
Very interesting concept. I like how it explains stuff like Running of the Leaves and Winter Wrap Up, but also explains stuff like Elements of Harmony: A Reference Guide just happening to be in the library.
7130401
Accuracy is a seductive and Terrifying thing.
7130401 Yeah, from your other works I can tell you're really good at the dark stuff. Whenever you drift in that direction I'm usually left with a similar feeling to the first time I read Fallout: Equestria. The same feeling of "how could everything have gone this wrong".
neat!
7130805 Aside from the writers not doing their homework and remembering pertinent continuity.
Not many fandoms have gone to this length to explain away writing problems. Most fans just get pissed and rage-quit after a while in other show fandoms. Such as "Lost" and "Battlestar Galactica".
I am not sure that this is a good thing, though.
Of course, the typical causality paradoxes result from all of this, UNLESS the alternate universe view is in play... in which case it's all moot because all the possibilities are happening regardless and everything is pretty much pointless, really.
Time travel just doesn't end well.
7131533 You know, proving that you are smart and proving that other people are dumb are very different things. One raises you up. One pushes other people down. Now, let me ask you a question. Is it more easier to do a push up, or to push the earth down? They both have the same effect, but which would you do? If you really are smarter than the rest of us, it will show in your work and people will respect you for it. So go prove it. Make something awesome. I know you can, I for one believe that there's someone great behind that silly grey profile picture.
7131573
You're saying this to one of his comments which are actually quite tame and inoffensive. Since you were obviously saving this speech to use on him when you could, you should have waited for a comment of his which was actually sarcastic and offensive. You wouldn't have had to wait long anyways.
7132110 You know, you're right. I think I've got a bias about his comments, thanks for pointing that out. Sorry Alondro, if you look at this.
7131541
7131573 *Alondro raises his pinkie... and pushes the Earth down*
Both are equally easy... TO A LIVING GOD!!!
7132336 Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Norris. I didn't recognize you!
7132110 TRUMP 2016!!
(And I wrote it in chalk too! SCAAAAAARY!!)
7132336
You mean, to a student of relativity.
7132425 What's the difference? It's all relative to your perspective anyway.
7130862
Making brains smile is why I write.
7131533
Some look at an issue like this and gnash their teeth. I see an opportunity... after gnashing my teeth.
Discord... you went full Tzeentch and turned Fluttershy into a Chaos Spawn. FLUTTERSHY! INTO A CHAOS SPAWN!
new1.fjcdn.com/thumbnails/comments/Here+take+this+_1faf480825478c5762dc028c8e202a60.gif
7132411
Oh, are you the one who chalked that and "FEAR THE CHALK" on our bike path? Because I think someone tried to hose it off.
7133640
Sort of, yes, but a draconequus is very different from your standard 40k Chaos Spawn.
7133768 Doesn't look much like he turned her into a draconequus. Does look pretty horrible.
Mister Fancy-Schmancy-Chronomancy
I hope you took a moment after writing that name and just sat back and felt very proud of yourself. Because it's wonderful. As is Discord, and the creation of his Serendipity, which gave me the horrors.
7133637
No wonder I'm following you.
I guess that's one way to explain the seeming temporal impossibilities of FiM. I still prefer the 1 season = 1 year solution, if only to preserve my sanity
7133771
Well, ponies kept saying that whenever he showed up, so they must have been addressing him.
7134180
Writing Discord is always a delight, regardless of his moral alignment.
7135005
Bah. Who needs sanity when you can have wizards watching over Equestria from historical phase space?
7132425 *pushes the Earth into an alternate dimension, where mice are 10,000 feet tall and breath nerve gas. It's a very dismal existence...*
7133637 It's one thing to write fanfics to explain the issues away... it's another to defend the show's plot holes as acceptable and decry critics for pointing out the obvious.
One is being creative and trying to fix the broken story, the other is akin to religious fundamentalism.
I am quite firmly set against the latter, and cautious about the former, as such things after lend themselves to the proponents of the latter. Such was the case with the "Star Wars" prequel defenders utilizing secondary material to defend the terrible movie plots.
I tend to prefer satirical methods of pointing out story flaws, because then the fanboys can't exactly point to such material as backing up the canon when the satire is clearly lampooning the problems.
7137495
Anyone who does use this story as a defense has to admit it's a damn shoddy one, since it makes a point of pointing out all the reasons why the show's chronology shouldn't work. It can't even rely on "A wizard did it." The wizard tried and failed.