- Member Since 19th Mar, 2014
- offline last seen Dec 30th, 2023
King of Beggars
One of these days we'll form a union, and get the fair and equitable treatment we deserve. Then we'll go too far, and become corrupt and shiftless, and the Japonies will eat us alive.
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Well that was certainly.... something. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about that.
That said, it was disturbing and creepy and disorienting in all the good ways. Good job!
Well.
That was a story.
loving a changeling is making him suicidal?
I'd like to pretend that I totally wasn't into this fic, but i'd be lying through my teeth.
that honestly was not that bad of a story, I actually liked it, unlike some other changeling stories I read.
Changelings are better than cholera, I guess!
Great story.
That was pretty fucked up.
Damn, you gotta love a good dark romance. I do want to say I don't really like where the story ends though. I feel like it just ended before there was any sort of conclusion to the conflict of the story. Definitely want more.
It doesn't look like she knew what was going on. It makes you wonder, though... what would the changelings do if they discovered that they were killing the only ponies they had ever had a truly loving relationship with?
I guess requited love smells of bitter almonds as well.
This needs a sequel!
Wow.
I've never been drawn into a story that quickly, and had it be that compelling to finish in one go. This is one of the most gripping shorts I've ever read. Not what I was expecting, given your tendency towards a more feel-good ending, but as with everything else you've done, you did not disappoint.
Wow.... They both don't know the consequences are because it's never been examined. Kinda sad.
I imagine Twilight Sparkle as the doctor who saw a patient with such crippling morning sickness, so much so that she thought they weren't going to survive. Nothing she could do.
So she prescribes this woman a wonderful new drug, one that makes her healthy and well and wonderful and she'll carry the pregnancy to term now, and survive.
I imagine at this point of the story, this is the part where Dr Twilight loudly exclaims for all to hear; "Wow, this new 'Thalidomide' stuff sure is a miracle! I'm a great doctor!"
This is a very intersting concept, has a lot of possibilities in it. The way the sotry is decribed - not going into detail in anything yet making a strong character out of our protagonist - is something I rarely see. The whole idea that is explained in the ending is a real thought awakening one, I wish we could have more of those.
Oh, and great sex scene too! :D
-Zeph
5983294 agreed!
5983204 Bedbugs.
So... It's the sort of slow death that one enjoys--but it's still death.
And all it takes for it to NOT be death, is for a pony's changeling-wife to take a break from feeding occasionally.
But she doesn't, and claims she can't.
Yep--this is pretty dark stuff.
That was strange.
6476695
It might be that because she's pulling straight from the metaphorical well, she's drying out the source, not just the reservoir closer to the surface, to stretch the metaphor a bit.
holy hell that's dark.
Well... That was devoid of any plot resolution. I didn't really enjoy just watching them suffer like that. I would be more irritated by his inaction despite knowing what's happening but... Depression is like that. A lot like that. It's like you want to feel the pain and you don't care enough to even talk about it because that leads to people wanting you to do something about it and you just don't have the care or energy to do anything more than you already do.
The worst part is that she probably feels like he's falling out of love with her. She's probably blaming herself right now. She probably doesn't fully realize what's going on and if she found out she was basically draining the will to live out of him she would be crushed in a devastating way. What do you do if the thing you need to keep going is making you a monster?
I guess the end point I'm trying to make here is that the story has established a setting and a problem, but it's still early in the natural story progression and it needs a least another chapter or two to get somewhere satisfying. Right now it's just painful and raw.
6476695
I don't think they would be able to take a break without leaving their presence for at least a few days. Something like that likely takes time to recover from. The kind of depression he's in takes away the positive feelings about himself and his life and leaves only the negative and feelings tend to be a bit compounding. It's like once you get down so low, your mood starts to just go down because of your bad mood in some sort of recursive hell. You feel worse just because you feel so bad in the first place and it just keeps going. Eventually, even the high points and happy moments are laced with enough emotional pain to drag you down.