• Member Since 9th Sep, 2014
  • offline last seen Saturday


Me. Take it or leave it.



Hoofenmouth is starting out at a new school. Cool. The students there seem nice. Cool. Typical day for the first day, nothing to write home about. Cool.

But Hoof sees that a large number of girls in the student body—damn near all of them, in fact—are wearing short skirts or dresses. And seeing this makes the troubled boy perpetually horny.

Not cool.

Hopefully, Hoof's problem won't be too bad. Or at least won't come too quickly . . .



Rated "Teen" for some naughty thoughts and heavy, heavy implications of premature ejaculation and masturbating.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 185 )

Well.....that just happened.

I can't resist the obligatory musical reference:

This reminds me of the lonely islands "Jizzed in my pants"

As the duo, 3OH!3, once sang....."Nice legs, daisy dukes, makes a man go (whistle). That's the way they all come through, like (whistle)."

5988400 Almost, but not quite. :trollestia:

5988404 Yep. Poor putz never saw it coming. :ajsmug:

I feel his pain...

5988438 We were all horny teens at some point. Some still are. :twilightsheepish: Ain't no shame in that. :raritywink:

Poor guy. Bad enough he's a teen in a high school, even worse, it's a cartoon high school! None of the girls are ugly in cartoons! At worst, they're Hollywood Plain!

He'll get over it, though.

5988532 I'm sure he'll pull it off. :trollestia:

LoL, but seriously, thanks for the fave. Glad you liked it. :twilightsmile:

5988535 Not a problem, you routinely do good stuff. Plus, I can sympathize with, feel sorry for, and envy Hoof's plight, and that always helps.

I'd stay away from Adagio if I was him, however; he can do better.

5988544 He did do better, but in his own mind, if you know what I mean . . . :pinkiecrazy:

Hormones are a bitch. He'll get over them. And one day find a a pair of legs and a skirt that is right for him.

I keep imagining the TF2 heavy shout the title in the same way he shouts "SO MUCH BLOOD!"

Haven't read it yet, but congrats on the feature, Lightning!:pinkiehappy:

5988591 Hmm . . . didn't really think about that. :applejackunsure:

5988612 Feature? I got Featured?!

5988622 Don't worry, it's not a bad thing. I find it funny. :raritywink:

5988622 Yep, that's how I found this story, looking at Fim home page, and saw in the box a story with an interesting title, and here it is, by you
I think that box is for features,

5988633 The box on top of the page, that cycles through ten different titles? That box?

Well, I am never wearing a skirt again. :ajsleepy: And that sucks, because I hate pants.

5988655 LoL, thanks for reading. And don't let the products of my twisted mind discourage you from wearing what you like. :raritywink:

5988646 :eeyup: That's the one! Go look for yourself if you can see it

5988674 I must have missed it. It's not there anymore. :fluttershbad:

5988683 Turn off mature then look, it's still there on my screen

I have got no words just
:applejackconfused: :rainbowlaugh:

5988697 WOW!! :raritystarry: It really did get Featured! Thanks for showing me!

5988700 :twilightsheepish: I was high on my own endorphines most of the time I wrote this.

5988723 No problem! Since it did, I'm gonna read it when I get the chance, plus you made it so it's most likely good

Some of them wear decent skirts though

5988736 "Decent" can still be a turn-on. :raritywink:

If this was the prehistoric times (19th century and under), then this fic would be considered clop.
(Judging by the title and cover, that is)

5988912 We've come a long way, haven't we?

Wakka-wakka! :trollestia:

Hoofenmouth. Not German. SON I AM DISAPPOINT! Downvote. That is all! :pinkiecrazy:

I joke, that is not all!

The first thing he noticed was that nearly every student he saw walking around the main hall was female. Yes, there were male students, but their numbers in this part of the building alone paled by comparison.

Actually, in EQG there is a rather equalized amount of male to female students. Though the familiarity of most of the girls makes them stand out more.

Still downvote though. :trollestia: Feel the hate radiating off this comment and despair

5989010 It gets a little tough for a normal kid, but manageable. I'd like to think Hoof is a special case. :pinkiecrazy:

And thanks for the add. I'm glad you enjoyed it. :twilightsmile:

5988927 Gosh, there was a commercial where a mann was announcing to other men about how women are becoming 'hotter', and compared a girl's bathing suit from the 60's to... now... yeah, one day we probably won't even wear cloths... and socks would be considered porn?

5988964 'I has a sad now' :rainbowlaugh: dwaaaaa :rainbowkiss::rainbowlaugh::rainbowwild:

This story was creepy as hell, and not in a good way.

5988667 You're welcome! :twilightsmile: I'll keep that last bit in mind.

If I were hoof in that scene with rarity at the lockers, i probably would have done this but with my backpack and walked away
or i would just do this with my locker

5989158 Same here. :twilightsheepish: Just by herself, Rarity is foine. But after all that build-up? I know I wouldn't last a minute. :applejackunsure:

5989615 Glad to hear it! Thanks for reading! :pinkiehappy:

Well well well, I know you from Facebook.
Yeah you're right, this is racy in a serious way. :unsuresweetie:

Oh yeah...

5989657 Oh hai! :pinkiehappy: Thanks for reading!

5989672 Ahhh, the OTHER obligatory music reference. :rainbowlaugh: Thanks for reading, and thanks for the follow.

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