• Member Since 20th Jun, 2013
  • offline last seen April 4th

Valen


Like a moth flittering towards a flame.

E

Twilight Sparkle has been feeling strange, and these feelings seem to be centered on her friend, Rainbow Dash. After a few years of hanging out, reading together and so on it seems the simple feelings of friendship have evolved into something more. The easy part is recognizing that fact. The harder part is figuring out what to do now.

~ ~ ~

Thanks to the glorious A Dark Reminder for proofreading. Go check him out. He's a cool guy.

A short attempt at TwiDash.

Set between Season 4 and Season 5.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 36 )

5918062 Jesus, what even is that? xD

5918114
I believe it is an otter.

5918122 That picture is almost as glorious as you, buddy!

Eyyyyyyy.

:rainbowkiss:

Can't imagine what kind of dates someone like Rainbow would take someone like Twilight on but this was sweet. Initially thought Twilight was having a nightmare when she woke up alone but I am glad you didn't go that route.

5918242 Probably something awesome. :rainbowwild: Glad you enjoyed the story! Thanks for dropping a comment.

5918242

Initially thought Twilight was having a nightmare when she woke up alone

I thought the same.

Not bad at all.

I rather liked this. It wasn't anything new or groundbreaking in the grand scheme of things, but it was a nice little get-together story. I'll try and do a brief "review" here to give you an idea of what worked and what didn't. First, what worked. I appreciate that you didn't end this story with them making out and professing their undying love to each other. That's something that a lot of get-together TwiDash stories do, and in most cases it falls completely flat and creates an over-the-top ending to a story that didn't have the required build-up or emotional investment to legitimize such and ending. So, points for avoiding that.

I also appreciated how you made the story about Twilight's insecurities without going over the top and making her angst crippling like a lot of romance stories do. Twilight was in character and her concerns felt realistic and grounded, fitting for a post-S4 Twilight.

As for the less-good stuff, I have to say that Twilight's reasons for loving Dash feel kind of generic. There's no real depth to them, and we're kind of just thrown into it without seeing how deep those feelings go or feel why Twilight has them (especially if she's had them for over a year). The prose also felt clunky in a few places, and it could have been polished a little more to make it flow more smoothly. Overall though, I thought this was pretty nice. Well done, and best of luck in your future stories :twilightsmile:

5918314 First off, I'd like to thank you for taking the time to give me such great feedback. I really appreciate it.

In terms of what I can do better, yeah I see where you're coming from. Next time I'll keep that in mind, avoid the clunks and make things seem a little more natural. Huh, I thought I'd have a lot more to say in response. This seems a little short. Meh :P

Anyway, thanks again for the comment, my friend. :twilightsmile:

A short attempt to TwiDash.

Dear god man, I need a sequel or something. This shizell ain't enough! It was pleasing to read though.

5918426 Glad you enjoyed it! A sequel is entirely possible, but it may be prudent for me to go through and fix this one first. Not sure, but I could certainly make a few edits so as to have it flow better. :twilightblush:

5918437 As long as you make a sequel, your Noah's Ark model will not be used to escape the flood of water... but the flood of :moustache::moustache::moustache:

5918506 xD We'll see :raritywink:

Twilight replied her broad yet somewhat uncomfortable smile returning once more.Is there a better way of phrasing this, sounds kinda immature It wasn’t as though she’d been wanting to talk to Rainbow

Is this an editors comment?

Twidash is tops! Thanks for this wonderful, pleasant story. This relaxed/peaceful atmosphere is something I just can't get enough of.

5919224 Yes, yes it was xD Damn, I thought I got them all. Thanks very much for pointing it out :twilightblush:

5919533 I'm glad you enjoyed it, buddy! TwiDash is indeed the top. :rainbowkiss:

Love, love love! Oh gosh, it was so adorable at the end, great job buddy, I hope to see more? I know a sequel is frequently asked, but it is a good idea. :twilightblush:

5922556 Well, I can promise for a fact that there WILL be more TwiDash coming from me in the future. Whether or not it is a sequel is a different story. Either way, I'm very glad you enjoyed it, and hope you'll be around to see my next butchery of the English language :raritywink:

Thanks for the comment though! I always love to read what people have to say, it's great to see :twilightsmile:

I'm going to sue you for the CUTE ATTACK YOU JUST GAVE ME!! I COULDVE DIED!!!

5929662 xD Then I guess I'll see you in court! :rainbowlaugh:

She always loved hanging out with Rainbow. Ever since the two had discovered a shared interest in reading they had begun to spend a bit more time together. Now, after almost three years, it had beco

fc02.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/035/4/2/twidash_demotivational_by_norcon72-d4onjtj.jpg

5942132 You know it! :rainbowwild: Certainly the easiest point to work with :raritywink:

Daww! So much cute!:twilightblush::rainbowkiss:

5951097 Glad you think so! :pinkiehappy:

Great story. :twilightsmile::heart::rainbowdetermined2:

5959599 Thank you, Eddwar! :rainbowkiss:

With an eager nod, Twilight grasped them with her magic and pulled out a copy of ‘Rekindling’ a novel which had only recently arrived at the library. [...] A pony in patchwork armor, sitting down in front of a burning sword? Holding a freakin’ halberd?

Hmm, where have I encountered something similar? images.eurogamer.net/2013/usgamer/Dark-Souls-II-Header-01.jpg/EG11/resize/1024x-1/format/jpg

5964602 Yes! Somebody got it! :pinkiegasp: You, sir, have just earned a cookie.

5942132 You joke but before that episode everything was Rainbow slamming into the library, THEN Rainbow finding an interest in reading. That episode just removed a lot of justification :p

This was a really nice story. Not groundbreaking, but it has a lot more heart compared to most lately.

5971219 Yeah, I gotta admit we could use some spicing up. Either way, I'm glad you enjoyed it. :twilightsmile:

Here's my review:

:derpytongue2::derpytongue2::derpytongue2::derpytongue2::derpytongue2: out of :derpytongue2::derpytongue2::derpytongue2::derpytongue2::derpytongue2:

Great writing. I noticed like 1 mistake but I'm too lazy to bother with it. It's was only one word and it still flows without it, just a little more rough.

Sweet, cute, short, just as i like it:rainbowkiss:
Good luck:twilightsmile:

Especially with that amazing flank…
No! bad brain! Twilight shook her head frantically as she mentally scolded herself.

XD why do I love these mental battles that Twilight has with herself so much?

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