Peaceable Pancakes

by Twinkletail

Chapter 1

Peace was typically something that came easy to the Pancake Princessdom. But today, it was nowhere to be found.

It should have been easy to find peace today. After all, that was the entire point of a peace meeting. To have a peace meeting with no peace to be found was a true sign of a failed peace meeting, and Princess Pancake knew that fact. For as the ruler of the Pancake Princessdom, she had to be not only influential, but intelligent. And even so, it did not take an intelligent pony to realize that a peace meeting without peace was nothing but a plain old meeting.

To be completely honest, though, Princess Pancake had no earthly idea why a peace meeting was even needed. As far as she knew, neither she nor her people had done anything to offend their allies from Mapleopolis. In fact, Princess Pancake was quite positive that everypancake in town loved and cherished their sugary neighbors. For years, the two nations had coexisted quite peacefully. Even though the Pancake Princessdom was larger and fluffier than Mapleopolis, Princess Pancake still liked to let the Maples feel like they were on top. They had even proven useful in Princess Pancake's negotiations with Butterburg's Dairy Delegates, helping the Pancakes out of a potentially sticky situation. But clearly, something had happened between them in the interim, and Princess Pancake was determined to find out what it was and work through it.

The golden brown Princess of Friedship sat on her sugary throne, awaiting the arrival of Mapleopolis's tribe of Box Elders. She probably shouldn't have been surprised that they weren't here yet. They were often slightly late to any given meeting; they did have a tendency of moving a little slow. However, this seemed to be a bit late even for them. Luckily, the door to the meeting room opened moments later. Princess Pancake watched calmly as the four Box Elders of Mapleopolis wafted into the room. Their arrival was accompanied by the familiar sweet smell that always followed them wherever they went. Princess Pancake's face remained unmoving, the perfect picture of serenity, as she watched the Elders be seated. No matter what the cause for disagreement, she would not stop until it was overcome.

"Good afternoon, Box Elders," Pancake said, giving a small, respectful head bow. "It's a pleasure to see you again."

"We wish we could say the same," the oldest of the Elders said, spreading herself across her section of the table. "You and your people have left us in a bit of a sticky situation."

"I am aware that there seems to be a small stack of problems between our lands," Pancake replied, not letting the Elder's tone phase her. "I must admit, though, that I'm not quite aware of what the issue is. Whatever it is, I would very much enjoy if we could resolve our quarrels and get back to being allies." She watched the Elders carefully for a reaction, hoping that her words had moved them. Knowing what the problem was of the utmost importance to her, but gaining a quick and easy resolution without a debate, however strange and anticlimactic it would have been, certainly would have made things simpler.

"Enough with the corniness," the second-eldest Elder said, narrowing her eyes. "You should know why we have arrived at this impasse."

"I've tried to figure out why this is," Pancake said, steeling herself against the strong words of her opposition. "But each time, I've fallen flat."

"Galloping glucose!" the third-oldest Elder said. "Are you kidding?" Pancake sighed, but held her ground. The third-oldest Elder was always the most hot-headed of the bunch.

"If you'll just tell me, then I'll be glad to try to alleviate your worries," Pancake said. "Will money do? We have plenty of silver dollars to give if it means earning your trust back."

"Money isn't what we're after, sugar," the fourth-oldest, and also youngest, Elder replied. She was always the sweetest of the bunch, always willing to break more complex problems down into simple ones. "To be perfectly honest, we've been rather offended by your recent dealings."

"Dealings?" Pancake asked, tilting slightly to the side.

"Your dealings with the other Syrup empires," the eldest Elder said. "For years, our two nations have held a sacred trust with each other."

"We would be allies through and through," the second-eldest added. "But your talks with the various leaders of the fruit-based syrups have hardened our opinons of you."

"No one likes boysenberry!" the third-eldest shouted.

Princess Pancake sighed to herself. She hadn't expected such a backlash for those actions, or any backlash at all. To her, variety was important. It was true that Mapleopolis was the closest to the hearts of herself and her countrypancakes, but one could not live on a single flavor alone. She opened her mouth to reply, but one look at the faces of the Elders stopped her short. In truth, it was the partnership with Mapleopolis that really helped her nation in the long run. Sure, every once in a while a pancake would want to mingle with a seedy blueberry or a tangy strawberry, but as the saying went, "once you go maple, you try to leave but you ain't able." She did not quite agree with the saying's grammatical structure, but its point still stood. When it all came down to it, it was Mapleopolis that brought in the real money for the Pancake Princessdom. Variety was important, but the almighty silver dollar really did rule all. If giving up deals with the others meant keeping their partnership with Mapleopolis, then perhaps it was worth the sacrifice.

"Very well, Elders," Pancake replied. "You are absolutely correct. The Pancake Princessdom shall cease talks with the fruit kingdoms immediately. We are sorry if we have offended you."

The four Elders looked at each other, whispering between them for what felt like a painfully long time. Finally, it was the youngest elder that spoke.

"Very well, Princess Pancake," the youngest said. "If you will truly cease your negotiations with them, then we can return to our state of peace."

"Excellent," Princess Pancake said. "May peace spread across the land and unite all breakfast lands equally." She smiled, feeling light and fluffy over a successful peace meeting. One thing, however, made her stop. "But I have already ordered shipments of their products. What shall I do about those?"

"Oh, send them to the filthy Waffles," the Elders said in unison.

Author's Note:

Written in like an hour and a half. I apologize for nothing.

Comments

[JetstreamGW]

There's something wrong in your brain.

[zutor]

This is fantastic.

[RarityEQM]

This takes me back to the great Waffle War of '76.

[Hivemind]

There's something right in your brain.

[Carapace]

Friggin' waffles, amirite?

[Seether00]

Waffles are superior! All hail the Waffle Empire!

[horizon]

Here via You Might Like This. (I did.)

As the saying went, "once you go maple, you try to leave but you ain't able." She did not quite agree with the saying's grammatical structure, but its point still stood.

Brought a smile to my day.

[horizon]

5889214
I agree with this comment.
5890014
I agree with this comment.

[FanOfMostEverything]

The fools. If they do not band together, pancake and syrup and waffle alike, then the Toast Army will march from exotic France and pick them off one by one.

[Nivarion]

The golden brown Princess of Friedship

Hmm. Can't tell if typo, or pun...

Though if pun, it would be more fitting for the doughnut queen, don't you agree?

[Twinkletail]

5895136
Totally not a typo

[Fwelin]

Everything changed when the Waffle Nation attacked.

[Chaotic Note]

5892234
I thought we shoulda been watching out for McDonald's Breakfast specials.

[strangephantasm]

Ohhh... Oh mah gawd. Oh story, where have you been all my life?

"I am aware that there seems to be a small stack of problems between our lands," Pancake replied

Good lord, be careful where you sling that level of adorkableness! I almost exploded!

5900580
5897640
5892234

You people are blind. Blind! The Toast Army is nothing but a rumor, neigh, a myth. And those miserable Waffles are no threat at all. It's those conniving fiends over in Omeletopia that need worrying about!

[Chaotic Note]

6349129 What about the Cereal Killers?

[strangephantasm]

6349146

Well, most of them are locked up in the Pantrytentiary.

[Chaotic Note]

6349183 Really? I see them on top of the... Fridge... Box... Jail thing. With plastic bag parachutes

[Scyphi]

I was half-expecting this to end revealing this was all the ramblings and imaginations of a very sleep-deprived Twilight whilst sitting at the breakfast table while a very unimpressed Spike looked on, but maybe this was my brain's attempt at finding some sort of familiar normality to it all.

Also thought briefly that the Box Elders were standing in for the rest of the Mane 6 until I realized they were one too short for that.

Do have to agree with the Box Elders though; maple truly is superior. And to tartarus with the waffles!

[Themaskedferret]

Very cute and fluffy fun. Delicious the day after too I'll bet.