• Member Since 12th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday


My main source of sustenance is Dr Pepper. Several different factions know me only as "Duct Tape Guy." I am actually a secret informer for the pigeon army. That is all.


Pigeon Central · 7:46am Jan 6th, 2016


According to the Onion, (an entirely reliable source,) Baltimore was named the city with the best quality of life for pigeons. Obviously this highly informed news article also crosses over into Equestria, and therefore the Pigeon central command is clearly located in Baltimare.

Very little story relevance, just an interesting tidbit.

Report Hawattie · 367 views · Story: Peristeronic · #Pigeons

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An ode to Derpy in the C.C.C.P. fighting in badly rendered cgi spaceships against gods to save Mother Russia.

Derpy is a cyber knight of the Russian Space Program who fights the evils of the alien magics that invade our world from the beyond of our own little universe shell. Eldritch anomalies and the terrible beware! Derpy is here to save the day with her ship made of badly rendered hexagons to fight the space head of Enron, the eater of worlds, and to fight the boss battle and swerve the good swerve to escape from all the rolling barrels of the great many multicolored space asteroids that are up in super powerful flames. Then the third eye is opened from on the Eye of Enron and shows the light of a million suns, the beam goes out, is this the end? Derpy churned the ectoplasm suit, the robotic ghost control unit, her whole ship becomes a ghost to the attack within a second, she is saved from a devastating blow that rolls across the walls of the universe and leaves the other end open, as a gaping scar to the masses and hordes of the alien beings from beyond. They come down on their tendrils, across the expenses to meet with the magic of the world of Rquestria, an army of evil beings, they are surrounded on all sides by darkness and evil, whatever will we do? The russian Intelligence Agency alone will not be enough to stop them.
Suddenly Derpy sees coming up behind her the pony Sweetie Drops, aka Bon Bon, in her own poorly rendered spaceship made of hexagons, it was a large and circular ship, like a sphere with an opening at the front for Sweetie Drops to see through in a shade of orange glass, rather than Derpy's big triangle with the long sides uneven from the height of the very back. The minions of Enron exploded outwards from his mouth in a great guzzle, they all come out in great order, Sweetie Drops opens the foreword compartment of her ship and comes out with a blazing sword in her hand, that glows with a changeling magic, an ancient power of old, and transforms the world around it, creating illusions.

Everything is hidden, they trick the minions and hide form Enron as Enron becomes more and more enraged with them, looking out for their every movement with its large, stinging eyes, there is nowhere to hide, nowhere to escape to, no hope, no future if they cannot defeat Enron, for Enron will destroy their home. They hide in the cyber jungles of the lower orders of the world, behind a universe shell, for transposed in their universe are many other universes of all their possible dimensions.
Here they hide, as Enron tries to search for them, they must hide, and to take the entire world with them, so that, as this worlds Enrons finds their world, so it is masked in the illusions by the power of a trick against Enron's own magic, their world becomes engulfed in shadows and, finally, there is nothing there, as if a world was never there in the first place. But they have to act fast before Enron learns that in fact, he can affect and destroy all worlds if he only completely obliterates the world shell that the universe has no barrier to protect, in which case that difference will reverberate across all worlds and affect them all in their own worlds almost equally as the power of all magic from the other worlds around them floods in to corrupt them and destroy their futures, hopes and their dreams.


I love your avatar :rainbowdetermined2:

Thanks for giving Woundsalt a little love!

Me again, Hawt! Thanks a bunch for adding my story Children of a Lesser Dragon God Boy Whelp Thingy Guy to your Favorites bookshelf. I'm glad that you could enjoy it... despite all of the mustard, noodles, plungers, and fundamentalists!:twilightsmile:

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