• Member Since 19th Jun, 2013
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Grand_Moff_Pony


Author & Pre-reader; Chief Apprentice in Loyal's House of Fanfic; Lt. in the Army of Biscuit; Does Bad Things for Bad Horse

T
Source

Even more than smiles, there is one thing that Pinkie Pie wants more than anything in the world. Twice she has tried, and twice she has been brought to the precipice of success, only to see everything ripped from her at the last moment.

Now, it has happened a third time. And for a third time, she will avenge what they have done to her.
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Scored an Honorable Mention in EQD's More Most Dangerous Game contest.
Edited by Loyal and Silver Flare

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 43 )

Haunting. :rainbowderp: I swear, this story had the sick, twisted feeling I haven't read in stories in a long time, and that's a good thing. Excellent work. :moustache:

5544119 Thanks! I'm glad you liked it! :twilightsmile:

Well, that was sick and twisted. And wrong. And infuriating. It's kind of exactly why I don't read horror stories. I just hate the feeling a well-written horror story leaves me with. :fluttercry:

Congrats. That was well done.

5544273 Thanks for the read though. Glad you liked it. :)

jmj

Lol. That was pretty entertaining. It was pretty dark and had lots of little "Oh... Pinkie...." moments. Good work, sir. Good luck with the contest!:pinkiehappy:

5546224 Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. :twilightsmile:

Eesh... I got about... halfway through. Had to stop. Um. Wow. 'Scuse me while I go do something happy for a while.

Edit: Finished... had to. Damn. Darkie pie. Not sure what else to say... way darker than anything I've read before. Downright terrifying Pinkie. Insane. How long before it she slips up?

5548717 I'd like to think she'll slip up eventually and let someone get away, or go so far into left field that her mind turns on itself and transfers the blame back to her.

Thanks for giving it a read though. Sorry if it was a bit heavy for you, but I figured I'd keep to the dark nature of the original, only with a fleshed out rationale (twisted as it bay be) behind Pinkie's actions. :)

Considah yahself followed. I really... hm... perhaps enjoyed isn't the correct word. But I really did like the way this was written, and I feel you pulled off the rationale rather well.

5549166 Thank you very much! :yay:

I'm glad you enjoyed it!

This is what grimdark looks like when grimdark is written well. It shocks the system, causing the reader to gasp and squirm. Then it sticks to you, clinging to your consciousness for hours or days, haunting your thoughts.

GMP, Loyal, it was fun working with you both! Again, I was very fortunate that I had the spare time to give this a read-through when I did. I feel like I learned quite a bit on this adventure. Good luck in the contest!

5549812 Couldn't have done it without your (and Loyal's) help! :pinkiehappy: *high fives for all*

Well that was something. Though I feel sorry for him he broke one of the the brocodes don't stick your thing in crazy.

5551164 Lol. :)

Remember though, Pinkie wasn't nuts at first. She seemed to 'reset' herself each of the previous times, in the hopes of starting over and succeeding in her goal. Poor Thunder had no idea what he signed up for. ;)

5554179 Yep that's why I felt sorry for him, but pinkie is just naturally crazy. Fun to hang out with but not really stable for dating material.

5554219 Unstable? But her Match.com profile said she was totally cool as a cucumber! xD

5554223 That was funny as hell, and I forgot to say it in my last two comments but this was good. Like it was previously stated this is grimdark done right. I don't even like Grim dark, but this was done well. Thank youfor entertaining me.

5554280 No prob! *shameless plug* Feel free to check out my other stuff too; you might find more good stuff to read. :)

5554219
Because she's a slut with commitment issues? I can buy that.

5555210 Whaaaaaaat? That's not what I said at all, I meant as a friend and no not as a "friend with benefits" but someone to hang out with. Jeeze dude what the hell. Or I'm reading this situation completely wrong, and were you the one who down voted my comment, if so THANK YOU I love down votes they make me happy.

5555241
I was joking dude. and those were not from me downvoting is stupid why downvote when you can make a snarky comment instead. I was joking though this story is fucked up i think i am out of here O_O

I will not deny this is a fine piece of writing. Decent pacing and buildup, with just the right amount being revealed here and there to keep the story moving in a way that 'feels' right.

mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw340_small.jpg
But it is yet another thing I have to attempt to bleach out of my head.
GMP you are a terrible, awful person. But I still love you. :raritywink:

5618558 Sorry for the delayed response, but thanks for the compliment. ;)

I'm so glad you liked the story! :pinkiesmile:

It was well written for being completely f:yay::yay::yay:ed up. 10/10 it was ok. Better than cupcakes.

5651299 Lol, I'll take that as a compliment then. :)

I'm glad you liked it!

My fellow judges derided this one

Unfortunately, I was one of those judges, though for me, it wasn't for the reasons Jake listed.

Your story was close, I felt, but it ultimately fell flat for the same reasons I ended up not liking many of the other Cupcakes entries.

See, you did a lot to explain why Pinkie was acting the way she was. The issue was that it felt forced. It didn't really feel like I was reading about Pinkie, or even an altered version of Pinkie. It almost felt like a brand new character that shared the name. ...On second thought, that's quite the exaggeration, but it still serves as a pretty accurate representation of my thoughts on the matter.

Twisted. Very, very twisted. 'Twas a fun read, though it doesn't really make a lasting impression.

5730407 Thanks for giving it a read! :twilightsmile:

Ze wow... That was morbid!

I mean that little story about Pinkie and her inability to not only bear foals, but the fact that they'll come out dead either way it goes was bad enough... But then ya had to throw poor Thunderlane under the bus as well... I almost feel for him, almost.

5755233 I'm glad you liked it! :)

Yeah, someone had to go under the bus, but I forced myself to stay away from mane 6, just to keep it interesting. Plus, it gave me a chance to work with Thunderlane's character a bit.

Liek if you cri everytime

Guess that means that last time not only killed the foal but destroyed her womb and rendered her infertile.

5800445 Yes, but not entirely by itself.

The illness she got after the first incident is a nod to a real-life condition that can afflict female horses after miscarriages. If not treated promptly and properly, it is almost guaranteed to severely damage (and eventually end) their chances to carry to term at all. Ergo, her continued (and worsening) difficulties in round 2 and 3.

Thanks for the read though! I hope you liked it. :)

My rating decision for this one was a very close call. Expect the review out on the 13th.

6200146 Thank you very much! :)

6200154 OMG WTF DID I JUST READ IT WAS SO SO, FUCKING CRUCIAL BUT I...I...LOVE...IT:)

not the kind of gore I'm into but this was an alright story looking for pinkamena X but that got deleted this was an ok replacement for my excitement towards that ill be writing a gore story soon based off of cupcakes hope people here read that GL in future writings

Pretty good when it comes to being a Cupcakes-style fic.
Why Thunderlane?:applejackconfused:

7549093 Hi! Thanks for the note, and I'm glad you liked the story! :)

No specific reason for using Thunderlane. I just needed a male character, and decided to branch out from some of the more commonly used guys. ;)

Thanks again for the fave, and please feel free to check out my other stuff as well. Cheers!

7549377
Wonder if I should write a sequel where the SWAT knocks down Pinke's door.

Awww, i really enjoyed the story, but quite a shame you had to cut it when the important torture was about to begin.

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