Amateur writer, professional slacker.
Everything went wrong after Lightning Dust's little stunt. Spitfire is blamed for not seeing how reckless Lightning was and not stopping her. She is fired from the Wonderbolts.
Now she spends her nights drinking her problems away. One night, however, she is joined by a familiar face.
Rated teen for drinking.
Cover image by dizzee-toaster.
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Interesting little take on what could have happened after the Wonderbolt's Academy, though I wish you added a little more to it. Maybe bump it up to 2-2.5k words. Even then, pacing's good, no glaring errors or mistakes. Keep it up.
Nicely written
While short this is quite well written. I am excited for more.
This is a good start to a story, but it begs for more. There's a lot you could do with a concept like this, and one conversation really doesn't do it justice.
Very well written, possibly one of the best I've ever read. Quite short, though, but still great to read.
Really nice one, but as already mentioned a bit short.
Deserves expanding or sequel... just sayin'
I WISH FOR MORE CHAPTERS!
HOW'D IT GET BURNED
She got burned?
5503683
5504422
Just...both of the comments...
Pure Gold
i dislike
5504422 That's actually what I thought about when I chose the title. I was going to go with "Spitfired" but I thought that might suggest it was a comedy.
Strong message, it could also be portrayed as the rainbow falls incident too. Spitfire was in the wrong that episode for sure, but I guess it would have given the story a dramatic shift in tone.
I found it amazing, though I have a problem with it.
The other recruits didn't save the Bearers, Rainbow Dash did. Is that what you mean?
And Spitfire did know of the tornado, just did not react.
I'm sorry, I'm quite the OCD.
5510721 Didn't the other recruits catch Twilight and the others when they fell? And I thought Spitfire, while she saw the tornado, didn't know that people almost got hurt because of it. I might be wrong, it's been a while since I've watched the episode.
5510721
Didn't Thunderlane catch Rarity?
Or is my memory completely off?
5511248
5511091
Yeah, you two are correct.
My memory failed me.... Sorry.
5513417 No problem. You had me worried for a sec.
5513490
Heh heh.....
An interesting story, but I feel it was a little too short. Maybe a bit more development or talking would have made it a little better.
But as is, it's okay.
Interesting story, on a point that has potential. Canon really didn't handle it all that well.
IMO, Lightning Dust received far too much of the blame. It's the training officer's responsibility to let the cadets know what is and is not acceptable, and to keep civilians off the base so they don't endanger themselves and others. Spitfire really didn't do either of those. LD was praised for her previous actions - it's no surprise she was going to push further. And why the heck were some of the Elements roaming the training grounds in a hot air balloon?
(I could also ask why those six don't have guards, which would prevent them from doing something stupid, and help in an emergency.)
Honestly, it looked like LD was thrown under the bus in order to distract from the failures of other personnel. Though I think that Spitfire being thrown out of the Wonderbolts entirely is an overreaction, I can believe it, considering that's essentially what happened to LD in canon.
Wow older than I thought. Did that episode really air so long ago... Anyways my head cannon is that LD didn't get kicked out, or not permabanned at least. Interesting tidbit of a story even though I think RD probably woulda continued taking with or walkin with Spitfire