• Member Since 8th Jan, 2014
  • offline last seen June 24th

master18


(She/her) Nothing says happy birthday like summoning the spirits of your dead relatives

E

A story to answer some of the unanswered questions about Scootaloo's past including, but not limited to:

-Who are her parents?
-Why can't she fly?
-Why is she so obsessed with Rainbow Dash?

I saw the picture that I used for the story's picture and immediately fell in love with this idea and ran with it to create my head canon and eventually this story.

I'm more then open to constructive criticism, especially regarding how to end stories since I can never end them well it seems

Chapters (2)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 48 )

Intresting concept , i think it could be expanded a bit. Thw ending seemed rushed.

Why is there no chapter two? This has way to much left open in it.

4426460 Yeah, I'm bad at endings :twilightsheepish:

I am at a lost for word.
I do not know what to tell you to help you out.
Yes I liked it but I wanted to give you some constructive criticism.
It's not that its all good but most of the bad stuff is just nit picking in my view.
I mean I do have the feeling like you left us hanging we are worried for Scootaloo now, and you are left with questions like;
If she live in Ponyville now then why on the many Trips there didn't Spitfire see her? Yes it's an AU senora but you are left wondering.
You do make a good story to describe the picture and it was a fun read (Thumbs up)

Well I hope that helps.
Good luck best wishes

So r u going to make a sequel? This needs one!

WHAT?! SCOOTALOO GETS SEPARATED FROM HER PARENTS? REUNITE THEM PLEASE MY FEELS

4426477 I'm not very good at motivation. I'll have times when I have a good idea and write it, but I lose motivation to continue quickly. I might do an epilogue I had an idea for

4426483 Thanks, I'll try to fix that in the epilogue if I end up writing one

4426524 I might do an epilogue, but as I said before, I'm not good with continuing things

Well, that was a decent introduction - but there are chapters missing ... :derpytongue2::rainbowwild::twilightsmile:

"I'm starting to regret giving them those tickets now" muttered Spitfire. (Don't get her wrong, she loves her parents. And the letters they send. And the one thousand two hundred and fourth eight pictures they sent from the cruise, not counting the three hundred and twenty six they've sent since they left home. {I feel like this is awkward, I'm wanting to say since Spitfire, Soarin and Scoots left. Is that clear?})

Not sure why, but this part... bugs me for some reason. Maybe it's just my nitpicky self, I don't know.

Anywho, I really like this! It's hard to find one thing in particular to say about it because its all so good :derpytongue2: Good job!

... you dirty evil conniving... I agree with the others, there is a chapter missing. Good God there is so much here, a world that should be used

Am I the only one who finds downed-mane spitfire extremely glompable?

4426908 Oh crap, I meant to take out that note in the squiggly brackets, thanks. I know, I hated the way it sounded when I wrote it but I can't think of how to make it better. Any ideas? And thanks :twilightsmile:

4426836 4426957 What chapter would you say is missing?

4427075 Oh no, definitely not the only one

4427102
The last chapter in which Scootaloo is reunited with her parents

4427127 That sounds cliche.

4427127 Oh no, don't worry I have a little something something up my sleeve regarding that (sort of)

4427200 Nothing. Just think that sounds exactly like what one would expect.

4427200 4427205 Don't worry, no clich├ęs

4427214 *looks at your avatar for a moment* You scare me. I like you. Boop.

4427227 Me? Scary? Pfft, I'm not scary! Aha, why would you think that? :pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:

So Scootaloo was rendered amnesiac in a flying accident, that also may have permanently damaged her wings? I don't buy that, I mean she would have seen some reminders of her parents, since they are Wonderbolts, and if she was reported as a missing child, surely Spitfire and Soarin would have been looking through records of children missing their parents. It just doesn't make sense.

This story feels very much incomplete. I don't usually say this, but I demand moar :flutterrage:
A second chapter, a sequel, SOMETHING
I feel like nothing was concluded; after all, you ended so abruptly and with nothing regarding what spitfire and soarin did or anything else with scoots

If you do make a sequel...it would be nice to see a reunion... just sayin'

4429151 Don't worry, I have an epilouge of sorts in mind

There are a couple misspelled words, but a good read. However, I am curious if Soarin and Spitfire never found her or why they didn't try to bring her home with them.

4430689 Don't worry, that'll be answered in the epilogue

4430830 Well, that's a relief. Personally, I hope it's a very good reason.

It could use a second chapter or a sequel. It left an opening for one of the two.

Ehhh still leaning on a semi-cliff type ending :unsuresweetie:

My response is hovering between "How Dare You" and "You Dirty Bastard"

4433299 *deep bow* Why thank you! I take both of those as high praise :trollestia:

4433352

Which means yo had this planed all along... you dirty bastard

4433381 I did. I really did

4433398
You do realize that someone will try to write the actual reunion

4433446 I don't mind, I just don't think I could write a proper reunion well enough to do it justice and besides, if I wrote a proper reunion, I wouldn't get the warm fuzzy feeling of breaking people's feels and being called a dirty bastard

Comment posted by Matt11 deleted Aug 12th, 2014

I see you take the Chris Claremont approach to writing: "... take interesting, likable, wonderful characters and you turn their lives into Hell on Earth." (paraphrased) Bravo, good sir.

4434012 I like that. Yeah, I guess I do do that, don't I :twilightsheepish: Thanks :twilightsmile:

Scooatloo: Mom! DAd! It's great to see you again!

Spitfire: We missed you so much!

Soarin': We thought you were dead!

Scootaloo: Well, see ya.

GIVE AN ENDING WHERE EITHER SCOOTALOO REGAINS HER ORIGINAL MEMORY OR MEETS THE WONDERBOLTS INSTEAD OF JUST SAYING IN THE AUTHOR'S NOTES THAT SHE NEVERS MEETS THE WONDERBOLTS!!! WHY!!!:twilightangry2::ajbemused:





























thank you:derpytongue2:

4581580 Aha. Ahaha. Ahahahahahahahahahahaa no.

i rally like this story i really wish you make a sequel where they do meat thow

4707309 Sorry, I can't really do happy writing. Every time I try, it just sounds really dumb and I lose interest. Sorry :twilightblush:

4707435 oh okay i understand :fluttershysad::applecry::fluttercry: thank you so much for letting me know:twilightsmile:

I like to fire cannons at heads

"You know, you weren't looking at her. You were-"
"Looking out the window?" He asked, gesturing to the window. "Yes, so that she can't ask me for everything."

Rule #1 for any father: When all else fails, DON'T maintain eye contact.

You had a good story here with the first part, but in all honesty you really should have tried to make a resolution in addition to introducing your explanation of Scootaloo's problems, like reuniting her with her family.

But I need a sequel :applecry:

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!