• Member Since 1st Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Between Lines

A purveyor of intelligent literary commentary some of the time, and whatever I feel like the rest of the time.



It was going to be the most awesome party ever.

Pinkie was making her rum cake.

Everypony in Ponyville was invited.

Rainbow Dash had even gotten the most awesome gift in history.

Then everything went wrong.

But it was still the most awesome party ever.

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 31 )

Nothing in the history of Rainbow Dashestria has ever been so awesomely Rainbow Dash. Except for Rainbow Dash and Rainbow Dash and Rainbow Dash and Rainbow Dash and Rainbow Dash and Rainbow Dash and Rainbow Dash... Oh Rainbow Dash, now Rainbow Dash sounds weird.

“I know, right?” Declared Shining Armor from the Cadance-mobile. “I’ve been saying it for years.”

Rainbow-mobile, huh? I'd buy dat.

Okay, just a question.


It was good, but still, what the flippety flop was that?

[flies off]

“Oh hell no!” Came the voice of Lieutenant Cadance as her car’s rear tire largely exploded off the rims. “You’re a loose cannon, Luna!”

“I get results!”

Terrific. Now I can't stop thinking of Luna as a hard boiled cop with nothing to lose.

Luna: You gotta tell them what you saw Pip.
Pipsqueak: But I'm so scared Luna.
Luna: You've gotta do this one for me Pip, Luna.
Pipsqueak: Okay, for you...Luna.

Not long after:
Cadance: Well Luna, Pipsqueak is dead! They slit his throat from ear to ear.
Luna: Hey! I'm trying to eat lunch here!

Not as good as the first one, in my opinion, but not bad.

5419668 The first one was just that, a one of a kind. If I'd rehashed the allcaps bombast, it just would have been a tired repeat. Honestly, the story is a victim of its own success. It was perfect the first time.

This isn't really an attempt to top it, so much as a fun continuation of the concept.

Bleh, I can't like this one as much as the original... :unsuresweetie:

Mind you, I did still like it, but based on the title and the description, I thought it was going to be something completely different, perhaps the polar opposite, which would have made things all the more satisfying. I expected RD to just eat some cake, and then for no reason start "figuring out the whole universe" or something...

That said, the semi-serious "philosophy" aspect was a welcome addition, and I kinda wish the story was more focused on something like that. And despite my misgivings, this was still a good read. Got a decent number of laughs from me... :duck:

5419788 Honestly, the "all light is made of rainbows" was my favorite aspect, and the driving force behind the fic. Personally, I think I would have liked to devote the entire fic to just that. Perhaps I should have, in retrospect.


It's a conundrum isn't it? You don't get the feedback suggesting the story ought to be different until after you release.

Now I'm half inclined to just overwrite the entire thing with the "philosophy heavy" version.



Nah, don't. Do it in your next fic maybe, but at this point, don't skin alive what you've already written... :ajsmug:

Like I said, this one is still funny, but next to the prequel, the appeal just isn't quite as strong. In my opinion, the best move would have been to do something completely different rather than "same but from a different perspective."

So... Maybe a sequel where Rarity gets some "sugar" in her tea? :trollestia:

5420269 Too late. Already banged out a "Deep" version. I knew exactly what I wanted to do with this, so there you are.

*reads the "deep version"*

Whoa... talk about a "jarring shift of tone"... :applejackconfused:

In fact, it's almost like the last two episodes of "Neon Genesis Evangelion" somehow... :derpytongue2:

But let it not be said that this is a bad followup. Quite the reverse: this takes the sheer ridiculousness of the former and twists it into an entirely new kind of context that, while doesn't exactly fit into "comedy", offers a very interesting experience nonetheless. It doesn't force the "philosophical" content whatsoever, nor does it do the stereotypical "omg what a weird dream" thing either, but instead employs a unique mix of the two. It dances just on the edge of becoming creepy, only to then pull back into a "friendship lesson" of sorts.

I can't really put into words how this fic makes me feel, but the bottom line is: it exploits the happy mood of the prequel and "turns it against me," creeping me out, only to let up right at the very end and tie things up nicely. In other words, it uses its connection to the prequel the right way.

Love it! :raritywink:

5421355 You know, once in a while you get a comment that justifies the effort wholesale. This was just such a comment.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you.


You know, once in a while you get a comment that justifies the effort wholesale.



I know that feel, Dash. I know that feel.

This was never going to outdo the original on sheer chutzpah and/or capitalization, but this was a great direction to take it, and kudos for writing a peyote trip that actually ends up sounding like a peyote trip.

Bad trip. :rainbowderp:

I think I actually prefer the original version, because of the way it head-fakes the comedy and then subverts its own premise to become surprisingly deep (not to mention the Rainbowification giving stronger context to the ending), but this was a worthy read as well.

Hmm. I think I prefer the less deep version, if only because I want to punch alicorn Dash in the face. There's just something about her taking whatever position that will inspire more doubt in her other self that rubs me the wrong way. Smug bitch.

Still, both were enjoyable reads. I do like that Twilight and Rainbow Dash each had a trip that the other would greatly appreciate. Thank you for this.


This is a nice fic.

In one of my story concepts, Rainbow was the inheritor of all reality, essentially. She was the Rainbow, and the Rainbow was her. She was immortal.

“Me?” Rainbow dash smiled, her expression surprisingly enigmatic.

"dash" should be capitalized. Now to read the deep version.

Someone's been reading Descartes's meditations. That someone probably wrote the fic, but we can't be absolutely certain of anything now can we?

Rainbow Dash on a spirit trip. Brings a tear to me eye.

If our world is only what we know, then are the worlds we dream up any less real than the one we wake up in? Is Pinkie Pie just as much a real person as you or I? If that is true, then what does it mean that we have dreamt up such horrors inflicted upon her as Cupcakes? Or did Cupcakes exist before we dreamt it, and we merely observered that world?

I wouldn't actually say this is the deep version. In fact, I would say this is the shallow version. In this one you tell us outright what you're trying to say, but the other one has more depth because the things you put in it could be interpreted as symbolism for so much more.

So did Rainbow Dash see God, who made Rainbow Dash in her own image? Is the real Rainbow Dash actually Rainbow Jesus? Or is Rainbow Dash herself God? Or, final theory, is all of it nonsense generated by Rainbow Dash's unconscious ego?

Though I prefer the less deep version of the story, both of them were enjoyable to read.

I don't understand. It could be that I'm very sleepy right now, but there seems to be more of a disconnect between the ending and the rest of the story in this version. I can't tell how it leads into Dash's last line in this chapter.

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