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// Perhaps it is not the cake that is a lie, but reality? (Deep version) 
// Story: Rainbow Dash Fixes Herself 
// by Between Lines 
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	Twilight Sparkle was lying on the floor, frothing. Pinkie Pie was busy learning the difference between hallucinogenics and baking ingredients. Octavia was wondering whether or not she could be held responsible for possesion when technically it had been Vinyl’s stash. Everypony else was just panicking, as per usual.
And Rainbow Dash was enjoying a slice of cake.
“Hey girls! Sorry I’m late!” She glanced at Twilight frothing on the floor, and sighed. “Ah mare, who told her I got her the actual Tome of Tetzlectial from Daring Doo and.. well, yeah, the Tome of Tetzlectial?” When nopony responded, she glanced up to find them all staring at her in shock. “Yeah, I know, pretty awesome, right?”
“Rainbow Dash,” Octavia began, again wondering why she’d ever thought a ponyville party would end anything but badly. “Please for the love of all that is, tell me you just decided to clean up Twilight’s plate?”
“Pffft! As if. She’d probably make me learn the sorting system for her trash. What’s the big… deal…?” She stared at the room that was staring at her.
The room that had stopped moving.
“Oooookay, come on. Maybe she doesn’t sort her trash, but I mean, it’s not that far off base?” She wilted a bit as the room continued to stare at her, stock still. “Seriously, what is up with you…” She then noticed that not only were the ponies frozen, but so was some of Twilight’s spittle. The spittle that was currently hanging in mid air.
“Okay, yeah, Pinkie put wayyyyy too much sugar in this thing.” Rainbow briefly considered her plate, before tossing it into the garbage. Only for it to freeze a foot after it left her hoof. Rainbow could only stare, a grin starting to split her face. “This… is.... AWESOME.”
Her eyes scanned the room, the scene turning to a playground in her mind. She immediately trotted over to Rarity, and lifted up her mane, peering at her roots as her grin grew even wider. With an amused snort, she dropped the mane back into place.
Only for it to shatter into pieces.
“Holy!” She frantically grabbed at the broken hairs upon the floor, every touch of her hooves scattering the hairs into smaller and smaller fragments. “Dammit, come on!” Again and again, she tried to grab at them, only for them to decay into powder as they slipped into the cracks in the wood.
She glanced up at Rarity, the broken jags of her mane standing mockingly on end. Hesitantly, she tried to brush them, only for her touch to begin the decay anew. She could only watch in horror as the rest of Rarity’s mane crumbled away, and her fur began to follow.
“No! Nonononono!” Frantically, Rainbow tried to push the dust back into place, but it slipped mockingly through her hooves. She scooped and pushed, trying desperately to maintain the form of her friend, like piling sand on a melting sandcastle. Though she managed some success, each press of her hooves made the situation worse, speeding the decay she tried to fight. “Come on! Please! It was an accident!”
“Having trouble?” Rainbow whipped around, only to find herself in the room. Only it was not herself, for upon her head stood a proud spiral horn. “Looks like you’re making quite a mess there.”
“What on…” A few grains of sand brushed her leg, and she whipped around to find Rarity beginning to sag under her own weight. Her eyes flicked from Rarity to the other Dash, panic filling them to the brim. “Help her!”
“Can’t you?” Rather than light her horn, she settled down on her belly, watching the growing catastrophe with nothing short of amusement. “That’s what you do, isn’t it?”
“I--I can’t!” Rainbow turned back to Rarity, just in time to see her collapse fully into a pile of white and violet sand. “No! Rares!” She dove at the pile of sand, trying desperately to pile it back into a pony, back into her friend, but every time it just slid back into a pile. ‘Why didn’t you help her?”
“Why didn’t you?” The alicorn Dash purred, that same amusement glued to her face, even as Rainbow lunged for her throat. She didn’t bother to dodge, or even react as Rainbow’s hooves closed around her neck. “I think it’s a valid question. She was your friend after all.”
“She was yours too!” Try as she might, Rainbow couldn’t throttle her other self. She wrapped her forelegs around, tried to choke and twist, but it was like assaulting a bar of iron. “You monster, you just let her die!”
“As opposed to killing her?” The alicorn’s grin only grew as Rainbow flinched. “Oh come now, don’t tell me all that brutish pawing was actually helping.”
“I had to do something!” She finally let go, chest heaving as tears brimmed in her eyes. “I couldn’t just stand there!”
“And yet if you had, she might still be here,” the alicorn laughed. “Ironic, isn’t it?” 
“Shut up!” Rainbow slammed her hoof into the alicorn’s face, earning herself nothing more than a shot of pain up her limb. “Dammit just shut up!”
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Or would you?” The alicorn rubbed her chin. “Really, I’m not saying anything you don’t already know.”
“Shut up! Shut up shut up shut UP!” Again and again she slammed her hoof into that face, even as it cracked open and began to bleed, she still kept slamming it in until the pain became blinding. She fell to the floor, the tears in her eyes as much physical as emotional. “I had to do something. I had to.”
“And yet you couldn’t. As I said, quite the conundrum.” The alicorn’s eyes turned to Octavia. “What about her?”
“Huh?” Dashed looked over as the alicorn gestured. As she turned to look at Octavia, a blue aura appeared around the chellist’s tail. With a sound like shattering glass, it snapped off and dissolved. “No!”
“Well?” Smirked the alicorn as Rainbow stared in horror. “Going to help her too?”
“You filthy nag!” Rainbow whipped a fierce roundhouse into the alicorn, only receiving a spray of blood from her broken hoof for her trouble. 
“Is that a no?” The alicorn asked as she wiped the blood from her face.
“I… I…” Rainbow shook with rage, simply raising her hooves and striking with everything she had. Over and over and over she pounded upon the alicorn, until the pain grew too great to even fly. She collapsed against her impervious foe, and began to cry. “I can’t! I just make it worse! I can’t do anything!”
“And yet, loyalty demands that you would. Or does it?” The alicorn stroked Rainbow’s mane slowly, the malice replaced with something almost maternal. “What is loyalty, really?”
“Wh-what?” Rainbow shook slightly with the effort of simply holding herself upright. “What’s going on?”
“The same thing that’s always been going on. Tell me, what is loyalty, to you?” The alicorn was sitting up now as well, facing Dash as an equal. 
“It… it’s always putting your friends first.” Dash sniffed, looking at the spot where Rarity had once been.
“Even if it makes things worse?” There was no teasing in the alicorn's voice, just curiosity.
“I…” Rainbow couldn’t tear her eyes away. “I don't know.”
“And there is the crux of the thing, isn’t it?” The alicorn shook her head sadly. “How can you put your friends first when you don’t know how?”
“I… don’t know?” Rainbow looked back at the alicorn, blinking blearily. “I mean, you have to try, right?”
“Do you? I mean, are these your friends?” The alicorn swept a hoof, taking in the entire room. 
“What? Of course they are!” A little of Rainbow’s old fire returned. “They’ve always been there for me, whenever I needed them to pick me up! They’d do anything for me, and I’d do the same for them!”
“Oh really? They’d do anything for you?” The alicorn turned to Pinkie. “Hey, Pinkie, I think your friend could use a hug.”
Pinkie merely sat there, frozen.
“Well, so much for that.” The alicorn shrugged. “I ask again, is she your friend?”
“That’s not fair! She can’t help me right now!” Rainbow looked helplessly at Pinkie, before glaring at the alicorn again. “It isn’t her fault!”
“But you just said your friends would do anything for you. And yet, your friends won’t do anything for you right now.” The alicorn tilted her head. “I ask again, are they your friends?”
“Of course! Just because they can’t right now, doesn’t change that they would! If they… could…” Rainbow glanced helplessly around the room. “What is going on?”
“We’re asking questions.” The alicorn looked around the room again. “Tell me something. Why do you think these are your friends?”
“I just said, because--” The alicorn held up a hoof, silencing her.
“No, why do you think these are your friends?” She pointed at Pinkie Pie. “I’ll accept why you think Pinkie Pie’s your friend, but why do you think that’s Pinkie Pie?”
“Because… what?” She stared at Pinkie, then at the alicorn. “She obviously is!”
“Really? You said your friends would do anything for you. I’ll accept that your friends would, but if these ponies here won’t, then how can you tell they’re your friends?” The alicorn raised an eyebrow.
“I can see her! She was talking to me, before everything… stopped.” Rainbow rubbed her head. “What are you going on about?”
“Something very important. Now focus.” Again the alicorn pointed to Pinkie. “So you’re saying that she’s your friend because you can see she is?”
“Yes! I just said that.” Rainbow yelped as she found a party banner wrapped around her eyes.
“What about now?” The alicorn asked, even as Rainbow flailed and cursed.
“Get this thing off me!” Rainbow tugged at the blindfold, but couldn’t dislodge its grip. “Of course she is! This is dumb!”
“But you said you can see she’s your friend. If you can’t see her, and she won’t do anything for you. Then she seems to fail all the criteria.” The alicorn finally released the blindfold, allowing Dash to glare at her. “Unless there’s more?”
“I just know dammit! Stop trying to confuse me with stupid games!” Rainbow thrust a hoof at the frozen ponies. “Fix this! You’re an alicorn, stop playing games and help them!”
“I think Twilight would be pretty disappointed right now. Nopony just knows anything. We know them for a reason, just as you know what I’m saying to be true.” The alicorn sighed. “You know apples are sweet because you’ve tasted one. You know your friends are your friends because they act as friends do. And yet these ponies don’t, and yet you call them friends.”
“Because they are!” Rainbow growled.
“Just like I’m you?” The alicorn asked, and Dash stopped.
“Well, that’s…” She found herself at a loss for words.
“Impossible?” The alicorn gestured to herself. “Why is it that you accept the impossible, but deny the obvious?”
“I…” Rainbow rubbed her head.
“Why do you insist these things are your friends? They do not act as friends do.” She reached out with her magic, and pushed over Pinkie, causing her to collapse into a pile of pink sand. “And yet you weep for them as though they were!”
“But… but…” Rainbow trailed off, staring at the pile of sand. “They aren’t my friends, are they?”
“Progress,” the alicorn said.
“But then… where are my friends?” Dash looked up at the alicorn, empty of hostility. All that remained was confusion.
“Right in here.” She tapped Rainbow’s head.
“What?” Rainbow touched her own head, prompting a laugh from the Alicorn.
“Look around you. They do not move, you cannot touch them, yet you alleged they were your friends. Even as Rarity decayed into a pile of sand, you continued in your insistence, despite tangible evidence to the contrary.” The alicorn stood, brushing a hoof across Rainbow’s head. “The world changed, but your ideas didn’t. And so you wept for a pile of sand in the shape of your friend.”
“I…” Rainbow took one last look around the room. “None of this is real, is it?”
“Is it?” With a burst of her horn, she scattered the ponies and the room, all of it blowing away as dust on the wind. Outside, it was a bright day in an empty field, the grass almost up to their heads as it waved gently. “What is real?”
“I… don’t know.” Rainbow took another look around. “This doesn’t seem like it, though.”
“Isn’t it? Can’t you touch it? See it? You seemed to need nothing more than that from your friends. And yet now you admit that they weren’t real.” The alicorn smiled softly a Dash struggled.
“But, they were sand things! You said it yourself! They weren’t my friends!” Rainbow clutched at her head, trying to fight down the growing headache.
“How do you know that? Twilight’s spells have done some pretty freaky stuff. And she was flipping out on the ground. Maybe they were?” The alicorn watched as Dash screamed.
“Stop it! Stop it! None of this makes any sense!” She took off into the fields, flying as fast as she could go, but every time she looked back, the alicorn was sitting just as far away. “I want to go home!”
“How do you know you aren’t already there?” The alicorn continued to smile. “You can’t see it, but we know that doesn’t mean anything. You can’t touch it, but we know that doesn’t mean anything either.”
“I don’t know! I don’t know!” Dash screamed, tearing at her hair.
“Then what do you know?” the alicorn asked.
“I don’t know!” Rainbow dash flailed around, tearing, screaming, falling. “I don’t know!”
“Do you know that for sure?” the alicorn asked.
“I don’t…” At that moment, Rainbow burst into hysterical laughter. “I don’t know anything! I don’t know anything at all!”
“Not even that you don’t know?” the alicorn asked.
“Not a damn clue,” Rainbow laughed. Suddenly, a sound cut through her laughter. The sound of clapping.
“And now, at last, you see.” The alicorn was smiling again, but now the expression was full of warmth.
“So, what?” Rainbow asked, settling back on the grass. “So, I know nothing?”
“Well that’s just silly. Obviously you know what ‘know’ means, or we wouldn’t be having this conversation.” The alicorn sat back down, patting the ground beside her. “So let’s go over what you really, truly know.”
“Okay.” Dash pulled up a seat beside her, and settled in. 
“So, you know what ‘know’ means, obviously.” The alicorn chuckled. “What else do you know?”
“I dunno.” Rainbow snorted. “Heck, I don’t even know I know what know means. I mean, I think I know what know means, but I thought I knew what prestidigitation meant too. Turns out I didn’t.”
“So would it be more accurate to say you know what you think know means?” the alicorn asked, sweeping a wing around Rainbow.
“...yeah. Yeah. I know what I think know means.” Rainbow rubbed her chin. “Actually, I know what I think.”
“Yes! Exactly! You know what you think.” The alicorn gave her a squeeze. “And what else?”
“Well…” Rainbow thought. Thought of everything she’d seen. Everything she’d felt. “Nothing, I guess.”
“Interesting, isn’t it?” The alicorn smirked, giving Rainbow a pat.
“Yeah, I guess so.” Rainbow flopped back. “So, what does it all mean?”
“You tell me,” the alicorn chuckled.
“It kind of reminds me of a dream, I guess.” Rainbow examined her hoof, staring at it in the sunlight. “Like I’ve just been asleep this whole time.”
“How do you know you haven’t been?” The alicorn continued to smile as Rainbow laughed.
“I guess I don’t.” Rainbow smiled. “I guess that makes me god, or something.”
“Well,” the alicorn smirked, leaning in conspiratorially. “That would explain one thing.”
“Oh?” Rainbow perked up. “What’s that?”



Slowly, Rainbow Dash opened her eyes. The steady beep of the EKG measured out a rhythm beside her, mirrored by another in the same room. She rolled over slightly, spotting Twilight sitting up with a book. At the sound of her movement, Twilight turned to her.
“Hey. Quite a party, huh?” Twilight only smiled as Rainbow grunted. “We really need to give Pinkie a food safety course.”
“So that’s why you were flopping around like that.” Rainbow leaned back into her bed. “Did anyone tell you what I got you?”
“Yep.” Twilight chuckled and held up her book, the very tome Rainbow had gotten her. “You really outdid yourself.”
“Thanks.” Rainbow paused for a moment. “Hey, Twi, what did you see, when you ate the cake?”
“Oh, uh.” Twilight coughed, suddenly blushing. “It’s kinda hard to explain. I think you would have enjoyed it.”
“Oh, huh.” Rainbow Dash nodded. “You’ll have to tell me sometime.”
“Sure thing, if I can ever get it straight in my head.” She rubbed her chin. “What did you see?”
“Me?” Rainbow Dash smiled, her expression surprisingly enigmatic. 
“Twilight, you ever wonder why all light is made of rainbows?”