- Member Since 2nd Dec, 2014
- offline last seen January 31st
Lord Despair
I am hate, I am fear, I am sorrow, I am DESPAIR!!!!!!!!
Lord Despair
Joined 2nd Dec, 2014 ·
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The five are obviously the 'gods and goddesses', but from the way they were reacting in previous chapters I doubt that they'd not be afraid of him. As nice as this story could be, you might want to find an Editor before posting the chapters. It's to difficult to read with all of those grammatical errors. You're best bet, if you can't find one, is to go to the group Looking For Editors. There's not really a way for him to react in a bad way to the so-called 5 gods/goddesses unless you change the previous chapters considering they were horrified to find out what he was, I'd imagine that it'd only get worse when he woke up, they also reacted rather calmly introducing themselves to one of the Harbringers of Death/Embodiments of War/Spirits of Revenge/Old Gods of Avalon.
Also, you might want to delete the Chapter 2 The Awakening Preview chapter, it's rather redundant now that Chapter 2 The Awakening is up.
5481620 I keep forgetting about the preview chapter I too notice the calmest they have...I'll need to fix that how you think they should act while the introductions
5481660 Honestly I'm probably not the best to ask that. I can find and point out issues in a story with relative ease most of the time, but I'm not one to ask on how to fix it unless it's a grammatical issue, sorry.
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/39/d1/73/39d1731430342aa6cfde4c878a3ffc23.jpg
5481695 k
5481704 thekenyonthrill.files.wordpress.com/2013/10/let-me-love-you-gif.gif
5481718 hahhaah
Noticed its flowing a bit better, but I think you should find an editor you, cause plants need water, sunlight and a little tender lovin care to grow.
5479654 no problem bro.
5482737 I know I'm looking for a editor today
yes it does flow better
5483344 k
You use 'an' when the word standing after it starts with A, E, I, O, U.
You use 'a' when it is not. (That aside, I'm sure you know how to use a/an)
Beside that, there are quite a few mispells and grammatical errors.
Sorry, but, I'm not in the mood to scour the chapter for those typos.
I suppose I will wait for the editor.
Here is some music hat might fit with certain parts of this chapter...No, the meaning of the lyric isn't exactly related.
6196288 damn it I thought I caught the errors this time why there's always errors I miss when I do last looks! But thanks for bring them to my attention Amethyst but have I improved in the writing this time round?
6196337 No, not really...Actually, yeah. I can actually make out what you meant. Still, those mistakes are glaring
English is not your mother tongue, yes?
6196359 English is my first language.....it just I have problems in the form of speech impediments, spelling and grammar had always my weakness points which is funny I can read almost any novel once I can recall any moment, characters and sometimes the very lines themselves for months even years in sometimes cases after just reading it once but I cant seem to catch errors in my own work
6196405 That's unfortunate. Well, try to keep it simple then. I can't help you with your situation. I'm not psychologist or doctor...
Another musical piece that would probably fit. Why I keep posting these? Why not?
6196421 I'm all for music so I don't mind you posting all these songs.......speaking about music have you seen my latest work Metal Domination? Nobody is giving a reason why for all the hate minus one guy but still I should get a reason why I mean 22 likes 23 dislikes it seems that the readers can't decide if it's a good fic or not plus the it has one of the best openings I ever wrote..
6196453 Oh...The story seem like it is interesting...One thing though.
Grammatical errors and mispellings (Though, not a lot)...Then there are the misused they're, their, there, it, it's, its...
6196489 Misused words? well that's a new one....- sigh- at least the grammar and spelling wasn't too bad. I'm doing something completely new with MD but it doesn't look good so far
Maybe instead of get your rocks off in front of females, you should be training more!
6203894 besides a few laughs she's not there for much
your translation is correct
6203919
I love this. Keep up the good work.
6248197 thanks, what was your favorite part of the story
I don't have so much a favourite part as I love the sense of grand scale adventure I'm getting from the back story and all these pieces falling into place.
6248316 ah but all the pieces had yet to arrive on the broad
6277064 Can sombody explain me how they are able to draw this kind of things?
6278500 I don't know how they draw em neither Lufer
6278507 silly Despair, Its obviously magic.
I'm ashamed of these people... They don't even comment on the March of Cambreadth being in there?! That song is perfect!
6303082 Aye my friend it seem nobody know the song.
6303672 I don't know though. Perhaps Battle Dawn would be a good theme for the Human God Grimmnjor.
6306042 maybe
Sucks major ballage.
6330807 what now?
Thank you for the chapter it was delicious!,
there are almost no mistakes now, only the occasional wrong word.
Loving your good work keep it up
6358794 yes! I finally got nearly all of the errors
6359197 thanks for letting me know about those errors
i'll give you a call the next time I'm doing french lines
This shits getting juicy
6366796
6359493 cool
6371045 Omg but what the hell is your profile picture suppposed to be?
6381278 its an animation on youtube made by Egoraptor named Awesome Reach.
Its laughing at the hype people had when they announce Halo Reach years ago in a...um...really hardcore way from lack of better words.
Anyway,if you want to see it,heres the link
But i must prevent you though.Its kind of explicit,hardcore and weird.
Sure nobody is naked in the video but you can't stop laughing because of how stupid it is
I took this picture because it present me well when i fond that my favorites stories got update.
Okay maybe not as hardcore but still
but really its just for his adorable face
6382674 That's the part of the internet that I try to avoid at all cost
6382674 what.....the fucking Hell
6382992 Lufer do you have any bleach I need to burn my eyes.......I just saw that video......
6383016 Sorry I used all of it
6383016
6383064
Boys and girls
Welcome to...THE INTERNET!!!
Common,you can't say you didn't laugh at least a little from the sheer stupidity of this video.
and that what make me laugh about the video
I know its trauma material but still.
But i think what i love the most about this video is that it present pretty well the OVER-HYPING SHIT that people had when they announced the game or any
FUCKINGgame for that matter.They just wouldn't/won't shut up about it
Now each time i see an over-hyped guy about anything i always think about this video
Hope you liked it
6385879 despite burning my eyes with bleach I get the lesson it teaches.............the internet is a dark place
6385894 indeed my friend indeed
6385901
GG