litanadraco
Joined 15th Aug, 2014 ·
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really cool story so far. Very interesting thanks for the great chapter! As I look forward to reading more!
LUNA!! NO EVESDROPPING! BAD LULU BAD!
Interesting. I really like the showdown between Lightning Master and Purgatory. This chapter is well written and now on to Chapter 2!
Good story but there are some things you need to edit
Some one is gonna wake up with the worst headache.
i would have expected twilight to be more shocked about her sister trying to get a human they just met into a date
I really like this story so far but one thing I noticed was that in it it say a emp wave and I was wondering if you knew that emp stands for a electromagnetic pulse the proper phrase would be emw(wave instead of pulse) if you read this, thank you and have a nice day
Ps I'm sorry if this sounds rude
PLS SHIP
Lol luna be creepin'
needs more editting, missing some words here and there its like im playing fill in the blanks here....
but great fic nonetheless!
woot!
im having a blast here playing fill in the blanks!
woot!
Kind of clichéd, but it has managed to grab my attention.
Ah, I see Luna's going with the good old 'socially awkward tsundere stalker' routine.
*Sniff, Sniff* I smell a threeway
7679374 Probs don't smell that good, aye?
Word of advice.
GET A PROOF READER AND FIX THE SPELLING ERROR'S HERE
btw. its called a test of strength. not a struggle of strength.
its ok.... you REALLY need an editor.. there is so much wrong with this. :(
It's "regent" not "reagent"
8415351
I can’t read this because of that. It’s too jumbled and the sentences are confusing.
What just happened?
Woohoo! A new chapter.
Yes!
Welcome back
Other than some logical mistakes, grammar mistakes and psychological mistakes this was ok, better than the other chapters anyway. Keep at it, you'll get better with age.
Ok.
I thinking more mare be in harem.
Sweet! new chapter! Please keep it coming.
I don't think the mares are getting their commueppance any time soon
this is a better remake of this chapter and better direction and i can see tonoe showing up soon hope to see a new chapter soon
I take it homophobia was the best way you can describe it? It sounds like he does love him romantically, but just isn't sexually into males.
I was thinking about it but I wasn't sure since I was thinking that that might make people question how Drake can be in a relationship with Gleaming Shield and Princess Cadance with them both being mares and having been in a relationship already before the three had met.
Sorry my friend, your is good, but I'm not in to the gay and tranny fanfiction. I still give you a 4/5 🌟 man.
This is awsome. I really like where you're going with the revap.
Can't wait for more.
first, I happy you planning to turn Tonoe from male to female and I like tonoe become female.
sec, if tonoe become female, make tonoe have M-Cup.
9083439 Not that I'm against it, why M-cups?
because, if be funny for tonoe play once turn in female and drake will nose bleed and fell in consine to see this.
There's a reason this was on my list.
Somehow I imagine the main character with a suit similar to 'Black Lighting' but with the personality of Spider-man
Homophobia? Not sure that’s the word I’d use but alright...
Press f to pay respects to Luna
xD
when we will read about tonoe change into woman?
9278046
Most likely in the next chapter or two
One of the worst problems here is that you forget characters in the background and just have them follow without talking. With so many people, we expect more dialogue. Also, some of your paragraphs are a bit long sometimes the run on and on. If you wish to further yourself then I suggest you read more. As you read more you will automatically pick up more mistakes in your writings. You also want to stick to higher level material. On this site that equates to around
20 : 1 (created this year)
25 : 1 (created last year to 3 years ago)
35 : 1 (created more than 3 years ago)
like to dislike ratio for pretty good stories.
9242718
Well, a phobia is usually associated with fear, and in his case it's not really hate, more like tension.
Boops da snoots.
loving the sires so far good work
Wow love this glad I found it today
Cool your on the feature page
When is the next chapter coming up
Reading the conversation between Drake and Tonoe, it was like someone wrote down the incoherent babbles of 12 year olds. You had no idea what anyone was talking about or what anything had to do with anything.