• Member Since 17th Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen January 9th

CobaltDrake


"Sometimes the world doesn't need another hero... Sometimes what it needs is a monster." - Count Dracula

Comments ( 129 )

So... so... BEAUTIFUL!
I want to write a novel of the things I think about the story... but I can't find the words, not speaking of how giving a written form would ruin the feeling!
Well done, very well done, bravo!
I salute you, dear sir, bravo!

-Zeph

Comment posted by ShimmeringStallion deleted Feb 16th, 2014

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not speaking of how giving a written form would ruin the feeling!

Truth be told, my proofreading & editing sessions usually take extensive periods of time, and I mean REALLY extensive, like, several separate sessions on several separate days.

This one, took only a single session, and Cobalt even asked me a few times about why I was so quiet. Truth be told, I was just immersed in this story, and with minimal errors in it, I could remain immersed easily.

So I simply basked in the silence, enjoying the story, as I hope many others did and continue to do.

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This is exactly how I felt, the story was moving my fantasy and brought me into a near euphorical state. Only a few things could do that and this one is definitely one of them.
I wish I could find and read more stories of this level.
(Giving a shot to the other stories from Cobalt is an obvious choice now!)

I was thinking this was actually all a plan from cadence. She saw them and reversed their plan. Was waiting for that reveal.

I love it! I really want to see you continue it, you know for how Armor and Cadece act and since they new and went for them anyway I was believing to though that they plan that to play match makers, that all that was a test to see how depth was their friendship and made sure they were doing the right thing, Armor even sealing the deal with that confrontation.
I still think those 2 plan that, and now I want to see the lovely couple telling them that he knew and wanted to help them, help each other with the feelings, Cadence is the princess of love after all its her job play match maker after all.

And I also would like to see what will Luna will think, and if Drew will become a future prince, details like that, know of what could happen later own after their announce a couple.

Ahh, here we are again. ShimmeringStallion, you are doing yeoman's work keeping this man in line. :P

Cobalt, I had to look through a couple of your other fics to remember that you don't think that any Equestrian male deserves these mares. Because I have to say, I was sincerely hoping that, for a minute, you were going to work towards a Tia/Drew/Cadance & Shining Armor open-relationship foursome or something close. That would have been innovative, to some extent, and possibly interesting enough to propel this fic to another level. But, natch, Shining was an angry Nice Guy.

My feelings here were that Drew and Celestia gave up far too quickly on what they thought they wanted once they encountered the slightest disappointment. (I have this mental image of Cadance going, "What the *hell* was all that?") Because your two didn't seem to care that she & Shining were engaged, but threw that right back in his face the minute he showed any interest in Celestia. It seemed quite confusing to want someone, to try and draw them in, then rebuff them heavily for responding. Perhaps I missed something in the story?

Your sex scenes continue to improve, although this one was shorter than normal and almost perfunctory. It didn't *read* rushed, but they acted as if they were rushing through it. It had less heat than your Lightning Dust fic, I must say.

Glad you're still here.

I like it, but Shining seemed HILILARIOUSLY OOC in this. I half expected a scene where it turns out Cadence and him acted like that to get these two together he was acting so weird.

>8 comments
>63 upvotes
>wat

Love it :raritystarry: excellent flow and I was lost in it for the best part of 45 minutes while I read it well done

3954989 You hardly antagonize someone without making him occ

3954903 In the spirit of Valentine's Day, this focused more on the aspect of "love" than Chasing A Dust Storm, which not only focused on lust, but focused on sex in its most primal nature (which was usable thanks to Lightning Dust's taunting). Again, this was different in that the story, focused more on the romance between characters (or lack thereof when it comes to the other couple) than that which normally happens in CobaltDrake's stories.

The original idea I'd pitched involved Shining x Celestia, so I was surprised to see the change. As for what they wanted in comparison to what they got, Things had been going on for roughly three years in the story, without them really trying anything. The fact is, in the story, something occurs to make them no longer in the mood to "try" for what they thought they wanted. Give that a little while to simmer, and anyone's mood would be brought down from determined to dejected. As they each explain, the kiss was more or less the "moment of confusion". It wasn't "I don't want that anymore," it was more "I don't know what I want.", the "cheap suit" line regarding Cadence sorta reveals this from Drew's point of view. As for Shining, Celestia experienced jealousy when Cadence went dancing with Drew. Shining was just a douche at a point where Celestia didn't want to talk, and expected Celestia to comply out of simply "wanting it".

The main premise behind their actions, though, is that they came up with the idea together due to wanting what's best for one another, though this would end up as something that wasn't admitted until later. Consider this: Say "apple" once a second for sixty seconds. At the start, your mind naturally holds an image in mind of what you're saying. As it goes on, though, it loses meaning and just becomes "a word". The same applies for the ponies they think they love: They wanted them for so long that, by the time they get them, the circumstances surrounding it outweigh their desire (Cadence being somewhat of a tramp who likes most at the club, Shining being not only as forward as he was, but also as disrespectful as he was).

I WILL say this: While it could've been deeper in terms of Cadence and Shining (specifically the former), it was a sweet little romance fic that was made just for that: The aspect of romance for Valentine's Day. I would've suggested more sex, but truth be told, I liked it as it was: It kept me engaged in the story, and hell, it's hard for someone like me to remain in that state. :rainbowlaugh: Good to see 'ya, Norm. :twilightsmile:

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Good to see you, too!

Three *years*? Jeez, talk about pining. But it just felt a little bit like "We want them, let's let them know we want them, oh wait we didn't want them, we really don't want them" happened all in two days. Three years and then going through all that in a short time-frame must suck for the ego.

I can see why Celestia got annoyed that she thought Shining was only paying attention to her because she'd slutted up, but why the heck did *he* catch the flak for it instead of Drew, who put the thought in her head? (I know, you didn't write this. I strictly blame Cobalt for it. :P) Yeah, Shining was a horn-head about it, but whoops.

3955058 This is true, perhaps I should say his character feels disingenuous; it wasn't set up until the moment it was needed that he was willing to cheat on Cadence, so it feels really forced and just there to further the plot. Maybe if it was set up so he was constantly flirting with other mares, or oogling other ponies' dates when Cadence wasn't looking I'd believe it. Also, on the subject of Cadence, she seemed pretty happy to get in someone's pants as well for a woman (mare whatever) who has a fiance.

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The way that characters behavior is handled it's what make most of the one shots clopfics trash:rainbowwild:

I really enjoy these well written stories of yours, but who keeps adding them to the "Readin' it for the Plot" group? They don't really fit there at all.

Make an alternate chapter one that drew does it with cadence an shining with celestia and maybe in the same room. and this a decerves a full made story about drews life before this and/or aafter this

3955267 Um... yes?... How can I help you?

Edit: Sorry, sorry, you forgot to link the other story. *scratches head sheepishly*

Loved it! :pinkiehappy: A heartwarming romance story that will be thumbed by many I'm sure!

This story was very well written, I thought. Awesome job. The more that I look at it, the more that I think that this should be delved into more. The concept was pretty damn good, in my opinion. One thing though:

The two ponies who were supposedly getting married(Shining Armor and Cadance)really didn't seem to give a flying fuck about the other. I didn't really pay too much mind to this seeing as how it wasn't their story, but it just seemed off. Know what I mean? Anyways, great job Cobalt, Stallion, and Bob for keeping me entertained. I'll be re-reading this in the future!

3955267
Oh hey, I remember that fic!
Good show! :rainbowkiss:

Dude! Only anthro, not human! :trixieshiftleft:

And this lady's gentlemen and those of unspecified gender is an awesome story.
To be specific it's awesome level...

That was a beutifull romance fic bravo.

Congratulations on getting featured, mate! You deserve it.:pinkiehappy::twilightsmile:

I actually really really enjoyed their initial makeout- that was fucking EXCELLENT pacing.
The rest of it was kinda rushed, and Shining interrupting it kinda broke the flow for me in that regard... but taken as a whole, excellent story, only a few things I'd change regarding word-choice.

to summarize this story, here is REO Speedwagon

Well said... Sang I mean... Hell this was a good story, keep up the good work./)(\

Wow... This was damn good, man.

I really enjoyed it!

~Skeeter The Lurker

Loved the story, I would love to read a sequel

Hey you... Yeah you... So just to put it simply, I'll be sending you the hospital bill. You might ask "why are you sending me the bill?" That's because your story gave me diabetes.:ajbemused::trollestia:

I came for the clop (hehe) and I stayed for the feels.

Good job.

... So... Beautiful :fluttercry:

Shining Armor turns a blind eye to the guy trying to get with his wife-to-be, plus he decides to give Celestia the thing she's wanted for a long time but he never knew, and HE'S the jerk? I'd say he's right to never talk to them again.

I dunno, that aspect of the story really rubbed me the wrong way. Kinda put a damper on trying to enjoy the rest of it, it bugged me that much...

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I feel like if he'd mentioned afterwards that Shining and Cadence were trying to set Celestia and Drew up, it wouldn't feel quite so annoying.

3958868 I was honestly expecting that to happen, and was kinda disappointed when it didn't

3954989 Well the Alternate Universe sorta meant to allow the changes in character for the sake of telling the story.

I loved this!

I suppose it doesn't hurt that Celly is my favorite pony, but you did a fantastic job with the romantic buildup, and it didn't feel rushed at all.

Have a follow!

The main focus of this story was Celestia and Drew NOT Shining Armor and Cadence. It was supposed to be a romance, less rutting more love. This was a spur of the moment idea I got from watching the ending for Season 3 when Celestia sang. I teetered with the idea of a human or another anthro OC but decided on a human. I'm sorry if that rustled your jimmies.

Also for those of you who don't know, I harbor no good feelings for any of the male characters in the show, especially Sorrin' ( weird coincidence right?) I added the "Alternate Universe" tag because I can make the characters how I want them to be. I wanted Shining Armor to be a ass, and I wanted Cadence to be a slut because they're both so perfect in the show that I wanted to turn that upside down, and make them different.

For those of you who enjoyed the story for what it was I thank you. For those of you who were expecting something different, I'm sorry this didn't meet your expectations/standards/requirements/etc. Also please refrain from bad mouthing my editor and proofreader they don't deserve any flak from this. Thank you.


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Thanks you! I glad that all of you liked it and understood that the "Alternate Universe" tag applies to characters not having to be canon. Because some people seemed to miss that fact.

3954555

Thanks for sticking up for me while I was working my 12 hour shift looking for IED's Shimmering. Now that I am back and haven't been blown up yet, I hope I can somewhat answer some of these questions and complaints.

3954903

Hey Norm thanks again for commenting. I'm glad you enjoyed the story... I think. And Shimmering was right the main focus was Celestia and Drew in a more romantic sense. I'm happy you still have some interest in me even after editing one of my other stories. Thanks man.

3955004

Not sure if you mean this as a good or bad thing?

3956347

Hey man thanks for helping me out with this Fic, despite what others may say. I feel like I may have embarrassed you in some way but I regret nothing and I hope to continue working with you in the future.

3959941
And do you don't know if made a sequel to that story? I really want to know what happens next, specially with Cadence, I know next to nothing when you ask about woman, and even I know that if a slut that love and can have all the mens she wants, don't get attention…she could get a bit jealous

3959941

I meant that I am physically attached to you. :fluttercry::raritystarry::twilightoops::twilightangry2::pinkiesad2::pinkiesmile::fluttershyouch::pinkiehappy::trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright::trollestia::pinkiesad2::applecry::applejackconfused::applejackconfused::applejackunsure::applejackunsure::coolphoto:

As a man i love this story, as a critic
Jeb your not a critic, your a person i hired for no pay to read clopfics and give them a rating
that's a critic Eric
No its a............ Rater!
i rate this story as very good, if you want a story that has a decent storyline and isn't 24/7'wacking
~ Eric & Jeb

3960013

I'm going to go with my gut and guess that this is a good thing. As for the the ratio you addressed earlier, that is pretty normal for me. Comments to like/dislikes never really add up. If you didn't like the story I'm sorry and if you did then thanks for taking the time to read it.

3959941
Of course I keep an eye on you. You've got great potential. And I hope you're doing well on deployment.

The love I have for this story is endless, everything is so just perfect! And I can't say that I didn't see the relationship between Drew and Celestia becoming something more then just a simple friendship- though of them being lovers right when Celestia said "Why couldn't I have fallen for you instead?"

Hope to see more works like this from you soon!

...okay, this goes on my 'guilty pleasures' list. It's just so sweet.

It would be really nice if you planned to do a sequel!

This story was terrible in every conceivable way. Part of me wants to go through it and pull out and analyse all of the particularly awful lines, but there's so many of them to choose from. All of the characters in it are either awful people or cardboard or both. Stump Chunkman (or whatever mr-human-self-insert's name is) and Celestia's internal mental dialogue is hilariously overacted. Everyone is so OOC that you could literally change all four names involved to any other characters in the show and the story would make no less or more sense. You have wasted fifteen minutes of my life.


...And this story is still better than anything TittySparkles has ever stolen.

3960765
Luna, Cadance, Celestia, Shining Armor, and the human, there are five names, lol But for the most part, I agree. There is little to nothing outstanding about this story, other than anthro-celestia, Past that, the rest of it is pretty cardboard cookie-cutter bullshit, and the written in three hours bit shows. still, anthro-celestia is hot. So all in all, not the best, but almost worth reading, 2.8/5

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