• Member Since 20th Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen 9 hours ago

fluttercord45


E

Applejack has been asked by a special little dragon to help conquer his fears and ask the mare of his dreams on a date.

Will she succeed in helping a friend in need or will she find herself seeing the young drake as more than a friend?

editor/proofreader: fluttershyone &NINJA-PON3

Feature

*5/23/15
*5/28/16

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 37 )

“Spike, how? When did you do all of this!?!?”

Too many interrobangs!!!
There's a lot of minor errors through out the story, you may want to get a proofreader/editor. However, I think this story was pretty good. It's short and sweet.

:raritywink: So you gave Spikey a practice date, How did it go?
:applejackunsure: I'm pregnant. . .
:raritystarry:
:twilightoops:Wut!
:moustache: How?
:ajsmug: Gotcha!
:twilightblush::rainbowlaugh:

It's good but got a few boo boos in it. . .

img08.deviantart.net/c2cc/i/2015/105/0/9/i_lost_it_by_hillbe-d8ptaov.jpg

so Spike wants to be a good boyfriend for Rarity, so he goes to Applejack for practice.
you know for some odd reason, that sounds strangely familiar.
img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20141001224543/doblaje/es/images/6/6c/School_Days_Logo.jpg

It's fast paced, but not bad.

Proofreader might be a good shout, but I'll just put a few pointers here:

Always, always, capitalize the first letter in names, no exceptions! It also does a lot for your story, quality-wise. (Compare "spike" "rarity" to "Spike" "Rarity")

“What if she just laughs at my childish crush, and doesn't realize how much I love her?”

This sentence contradicts itself. Spike calls his feelings a "childish crush" and "love" at the same time. Maybe something like this might work:

“What if she just laughs at me, thinking it's just some sort of childish crush, and doesn't realize how much I love her?”

Also about question marks(?) and exclamation marks(!): try not to use more than two exclamation marks and more than one question mark.
Having more of these does not emphasize the point you're trying to make, and unfortunately just becomes an eye-catcher.
"!!" and "!?" are generally accepted forms, but some authors might even argue that one exclamation mark is more than enough!

This story practically sets up for another chapter, so I'm surprised to see it says "Complete". Might you consider making a second chapter instead of a sequel?

Whatever you may choose, I hope you write a continuation :twilightsmile:

6008492
We do not speak of the Days of School... Never.

6008492
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6009076
NEVER. SPEAK. ITS. NAME!

This remind me of a little comic of Tgweaver about AJ and Spike. Mmmmmm anyway, cool bro!

A few technical flaws that others have pointed out, but still a good story. Definitely worth a sequel or two. :pinkiehappy:

This was very cute and all...but I don't see why it's on the front page of the site for the day. O_O

I mean, among the fact that it's an AppleSpike (which I find that couple to be adorable), this is also just another awkward romance. I like those, to be honest, and find them absolutely adorable. However, the grammar here turns me off; I won't go on about it, because I'm sure you're sick of hearing the same thing over and over again, but it's true.

The story in itself? It could last up to three chapters at least. The build-up to Applejack's crush was kinda rushed; I would have accepted it as one sided, and just a childish thing (considering that it IS an AppleSpike), but a romance should never be rushed. It just clumps up the amazing potential that could have been used with an idea like this.

Other than that, we got a cute little AppleSpike story, that gave me bubbles in my tummy; either its gas, or I loved it. I'm going with the latter, of course. :3 I still don't understand why its on the front page of the website right now, but I'll take it. It's no offense to you, whatsoever. ^^;

Good job fella, i tip my hat to you.

6009257 School days, school days
Dear old golden rule days
Readin' and 'ritin' and 'rithmetic

6013327 :pinkiehappy: i love the song "School days" :pinkiehappy:
:pinkiesad2: can't understand why you don't :pinkiesad2:

6013348
NO! The song is fine, im talking about the ANIME School days. The song is great, but the anime called School Days is one of the most despised in history, and for good reasons.

6013355 :pinkiegasp: Tell me Tell me :pinkiegasp:
Was it Too many Tenticle monsters? :pinkiesick: Not enough?:pinkiesmile:
Too much Fan service.:ajsmug:

Not enough Pin cushions, or Tie fighters.

6013369
WEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL....The main character wants to go out with a girl right, so he does. Only to decided he doesn't like her as much so what does he do? Well rather then break up with her he ignores her and SLEEPS AROUND WITH LIKE 4 other girls! THEN he decides the girl he was cheating on was his 'true love' all along! HES KILLED AND HIS FIRST GIRLFRIEND WHO HE CHEATED ON KILLS HER MURDERER AND THE ANIME ENDS WITH HER TALKING TO HIS CHOPPED OFF HEAD!

6013387 WOW :pinkiehappy::pinkiecrazy: Sounds Higurashi meet's Ballzy Tenchi

need to read

Sweet Celestia, that ending... :applecry:

I demand MORE!

PLEASE CONTINUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :yay:

My God that was.. Outfeakingstanding, I would give you a standing ovation if I wasn't so comfortable.

WELL? WE'RE WAITING.:ajbemused:

You know, one month would've warranted an "on hiatus" from the story, why not just switch it?

I'm honestly surprised this ship isn't more popular. I mean, Spike has kissed AJ twice ("Easy there loverboy" and "What if you need help breathing?"). I do think the development of AJ's crush was a bit rushed, but other than that it's a cute story.

Cute. Please continue

Your never updating this story, are you? Pity.

Please continue. :fluttercry:

7255545 I'm surprised you'd read this… maybe some people just like getting ruthlessly shipteased?

7256790 everybody loves a good shiptease,:moustache:
:twilightoops: naked ponies! :ajbemused: that's normal Twilight we don't ware no close none.
:moustache: that's why I walk behin.......:raritystarry: Spikey! remember you're a gentle drake!:moustache:ladies first

YAY! An update!

Thanks for this, I've been running low on AppleSpike recently and had completely forgotten about this story. Kinda thought you'd never finish it...But you have! And it was a nice ending, so thanks for that and well done.

Upvoted and added to my library.:twilightsmile:

Ouch. That hurt a bit.

Short and sweet. Good job word-smith.

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