Never Letting Go

Discord has so much on his mind about his relationship with Fluttershy. Will his worries crack his mind or will her love keep him sane?

Art -me.
proofreader-Browneyedbagle

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Comments ( 12 )

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Gingerboyman

Gingerboyman #1 · Mar 22nd, 2015 · · ·

Short and qute. I like have some hearts

hhhhhhh

hhhhhhh #2 · Mar 22nd, 2015 · · ·

Cutesy!

Twilight Sparkle KAPOW

Twilight Sparkle KAPOW #3 · Mar 22nd, 2015 · · ·

DDDWWWAAA!! OH MY GOSH!! OH MY HEART! OH.......GAH.......MY FEELS!! SO SWEET!! I LOVE IT!!

misskoifishpony

misskoifishpony #4 · Mar 22nd, 2015 · 1 · ·

Dawww tehee what a fun Fluttercord one-shot And the cover art matches the adorableness of this story Is it just me or does Discord in the picture look like Scar? To me, he looks like the friendly version of Scar kissing Fluttershy, haha lol! Such a great idea having Discord change into lion and tickle her with kisses. I especially loved the fact that she had a dream about it, that makes it extra adorable. So does that mean that Fluttershy is the lamb in this situation? Haha lol yes she is, love it Fluttershy and Discord were in character, I wish that something like this happens in the show because it could.

fluttercord45

fluttercord45 #5 · Mar 22nd, 2015 · 2 · ·

5768392

Is it just me or does Discord in the picture look like Scar?

actually I found a pic of discord in scar lion (here a pic of it)

misskoifishpony

misskoifishpony #6 · Mar 22nd, 2015 · · ·

5768422
Whoa, that picture really does look like Discord as Scar Haha lol I just noticed that you're the fabulous artist for did the cover art for your story, excellent work

Karzox

Karzox #7 · Mar 22nd, 2015 · 3 · ·

Since it's only a short story, I'll keep my thoughts as to the point as possible; I only have one major complaint anyway. As a whole, their's nothing wrong with it really; it's a nice pace, it's written fine enough and I couldn't spot anything spelled incorrectly. Plus, it's Fluttercord; one of the many ships I love so.

But their's one thing that bugged me about this story; it's first person perspective... dosen't feel right. For a start, it didn't really feel like Discord was talking in first person; it felt more like somone was simply describing his actions. Now don't get me wrong, I know it's a hard character to get the voice of correct - I've read enough stories to see that - so points for trying, but I just don't get that Lord of Chaos vibe, or that Zany attitude. Granted I know he'd tone it down somewhat with a stable relationship - especially with Fluttershy - but it just feels TOO toned down.

The other problem is that this reads less like someones thoughts and more like somones monologue. To try and put it clearer, this feels like when a character adresses the audience in a Shakespeare play or similar; it's the characters thoughts and feelings yes, but their being directly addressed to somone rather than inwardly. Honestly, this COULD work for a character like Discord - someone who wouldn't give any damn's about the fourth wall - but when placed in conjunction with the first problem, it makes it sound weird and kinda takes me out of the stroy.

I'm honestly not trying to be mean; I don't think it's bad or offensive, it's a standard, ok ship fic. I just feel like next time if you worked on the characters narritive and the way you direct the story's perspective - make the first person perspective seem like it's actually inward thoughts - then I think you woudl have a pretty decent fic on your hands. Still, keep it up and you can only get better! Pratice makes perfect.

Perry Note

Perry Note #8 · Apr 3rd, 2015 · · ·

Aww!!!! That is so sweet!!!!!

discord go purrrrrr...................

Shine

Shine #9 · Apr 29th, 2015 · · ·

So cute!

Scooter Dracon

Scooter Dracon #10 · May 26th, 2015 · 1 · ·

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO CUTE!!!!!!! FLUTTERCORD MUST BE CANNON OR I WILL DESTROY THE UNIVERSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

samstermlp