• Member Since 16th May, 2015
  • offline last seen May 25th, 2018

Marshall_Evergreen


[Insert wise and profound philosophy]

Sequels1

T

"I dunno man, maybe it's not me. Maybe, it's...the rest of Equestria, ya know?"

Suffering badly from the almost inevitable rejection of his long time crush, Spike chooses to man up and cry in a bar instead of his bedroom. Looking to cheer him up, the squad assemble to help him realize he still has a place in the world; even if that place doesn't include Rarity.
Hopefully Soarin and Discord will be able to bring him around, as well as resolve some of the new tension between him and Applejack (who has had to put up with his insufferable brooding for four nights straight).
And what better a way to do that than over a couple pints of the Apple family's infamous Sweet Apple Cider.

Edit: This is meant just as a random, slightly mushy, humorous, light read. Just something that came to mind and thought I'd write just to see how it goes down. I have added a sentence or two and slightly revised the description, so that you all get a slightly better idea of what to expect. This does include Applespike.

Book 1 in the friendzoned series. Prequel has been written. The link is in the final chapter, 'The survival guide'.

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 52 )

That cover image is legendary! :rainbowlaugh:

Good start. I have been in poor Spikes place a few time. And it don't get no easer with age.

6193466 Indeed. One of my own creations that inspired this little story. :twilightsmile:

6193675
Awesome work! You're one for many seasons, I see.

Spikes carrying the weigh of the world on his back, , A marsh mellow monkey on his shoulders. . .

pre14.deviantart.net/9983/th/pre/f/2015/050/9/3/spike_rarity_splash_by_hillbe-d8iq6be.jpg

So this one isn't terribly long, just something to keep you occupied.

Its Bon appetit damn british who doesn't know his damn french

You are what is wrong with Canada!

(edit: I had forget the words know)

6203978 This has to be the best thing I've read all day! :rainbowlaugh:
I was so tired when I wrote this, now I can only laugh at how stupid that mistake was. This is what happens when I try :flutterrage: :twilightsheepish:
Oopsy.
well It's all corrected now though. :twilightsmile:
Thank you so much for pointing that out.
I'm just glad I'm not Canadian otherwise I probably would have taken that to heart XD

Comment posted by Marshall_Evergreen deleted Jul 14th, 2015

6203978 See people, this is constructive criticism! Have a mustache my good sir :moustache:

:raritystarry: Spike and you?

:ajsmug: How ya like them apples

:moustache: tasty

:raritycry: I messed up Nooooooooooooooooooooooo

I liked this!:pinkiehappy:
The spacing could use some work, but good never the less!:twilightsmile:
:moustache::heart::ajsmug:

Hey guys, I'm not too sure about the tags I'm using for this story. Should I change this from a teen to an everyone or just leave it. Kinda lookin' to expand my audience, ya know?
It's mainly rated T because that was my intended audience, also due to the alcohol.

6216891 I have just edited the layout of the story. Hopefully the spacing is a bit better this time :twilightsmile:

This is a pretty damm good story for a debut. Have a like, fav and a follow for your troubles dear sir. :moustache: I will be watching your progress with keen interest:pinkiecrazy:

6225217 muchas gracias seƱor! I thank you for your keen interest. Have a mustache :moustache:

6225166 Time for a re-read than.:twilightsmile:

Dude! 405 views and 42 likes...What is this strange sensation of euphoria I feel?
...Could it possibly be...
VICTORY!!!

As a huge ApplexSpike fan this already gets big ups, as a fan of fanfiction and a fellow writer I gotta say this is pretty darn good.:moustache:

Great stuff man

omg i loved this
so nice
maaaan i love this brotherly relationship thing between Discord and Spike
i always image those two being very good friends someday

Sweet tea and biscuits! :pinkiegasp:
5..55...559...5...559 views!!??
And how many likes...52...FIFTY TWO!!??

THIS IS AWESOME :flutterrage::pinkiehappy::rainbowwild:
Thanks for all the views and likes.
And a big thanks to those who have disliked. Evidently, I have something to improve on...SPLENDID!! :moustache:
Thanks again. I'm glad you guys enjoyed my work. :pinkiesmile:

Marshall Out.

Needs major polishing.

6413052 Yeah, that chapter was really added as an after-thought, mainly to steer people towards the second story in the series.
But if you were refering to the fiction as a whole, I still agree.
This certainly isn't the best story out there, and was more experimentory than official.
The fiction as a whole is probably rushed and I feel it very juvenial.
Fact is, as an author, you are rarely satisfied with your own stories... well this is true for me in any case; there's always some way to improve.
I've talked to other authors in the past who have felt the same with their own work. I'm just glad that some people have enjoyed it. The sequel kinda failed :rainbowlaugh:

As for this story, I might polish up the last chapter, but I'm gonna leave the rest. If anything, I can look back someday and hopefully see how far I've come. :twilightsmile:

In any case, I'd like to offer my sincere thanks for your feedback. I've rarely recieved constructive critism in the past and I really appreciate this. Though I love all the positive feedback, I still treasure these comments because they keep me challenged and motivate me to improve.

So thanks again! :twilightsmile:

6413388

No problem. My issue is with formatting of things such as dialogue.

Things like

Applejack had been working in the bar to score a couple extra bits for the farm. This meant she'd also been there the past four nights that Spike had come to sit, drink and cry. One night was understandable. Two was for good measure. Three, well that's great for business. But four! Now that's just pathetic. Of course she didn't mean to think of Spike in this way. He was good, kind and generous, always putting himself before others. But it did seem that when every he got hurt, he took it hard. maybe it just the frustration. Spike had gone through some pretty definitive changes these past years anyway. He'd began to mature physically and was, if anything, very intelligent. But he was still innocent, a child at heart. His crush on Rarity had been the one childhood trait he'd kept. Once that went...who was he supposed to be? What was his purpose?
Celestia, it was like the CMC all over again...

and this

Meanwhile, the squad had reached Spike, who was gurgling something to himself. Soarin appeared to be distraught by this while Discord rolled his eyes.
"I was pretty on point with Spike being a mess," Discord said with a tone of disgust, as he reached out both his arms to frame the spectacle, "this is getting ridiculous!"
Soarin merely nodded, "Bummer bro."
Discord produced a blow horn blasting it into Spike's ear.

and this

"Como estas?" Discord cried with glee.
Spike, merely growled allowing a cloud of smoke to escape as he snorted his response.
"C'mon dude, you've been here for days!"
Spike looked up with a stern expression cut across his sharp face. Then he started to pick himself up. Slowly. Very. Slowly. It seemed to take enormous effort just to pick himself up, before he came crashing back down on his chair, trying to relax somewhat.
They waited patiently before Spike spoke up.
"What?"
His voice sounded like the grinding of nails echoing from the back of his throat. There were clear bags underneath his eyes. Indeed, even to Spike, his voice sounded alien. Like something you'd expect from someone just waking up...oh wait, that was him. He snorted again, in clear annoyance.
"Well..." Soarin trailed off, trying to find a way to break it to Spike without causing more damage.
Thankfully, Discord was there tom pick up the slack.
"You've been cooped up in here far too long. You look dreadful! Have you no self respect? Or did Rarity take that along with all of your pride?"
Soarin winced, Applejack drooped the glass she'd been holding and gasped. They all looked at Spike, waiting for a response.

are unacceptable. You must change paragraphs every single time you change speaker. And either you indent every paragraph or you indent none of them. And you should always skip a line between paragraphs.

6413857 Holy crap, that's bad! :rainbowderp:
I did indent the paragraphs and tended to split each paragraph with a single space.
Much
Like
this.
When it should be:

like

this.

Noted. Thanks a bunch for correcting this. It's embarrassing to say that completely slipped my notice, :twilightblush: Which it did.

Oh well.
"A man who asks is a fool for five minutes, but the man who doesn't, is a fool for life."
It's embarrassing, yes. But in the end this will improve the story a lot.
Or atleast make it easier to read, in turn making more enjoyable
...hopefully.

I'll get to editing it right away. Should take 10-15 minutes tops. Hopefully it will satisfy you. :twilightsmile:

Thanks again.

6414331

No trouble.

If you're writing in Word, don't bother with indenting in the document, because Fimfic won't detect that, anyway; highlight the body of your story in the chapter edit view and use the Increase Indent button to get a consistent indent everywhere. You must manually create your skipped lines by pressing ENTER twice; just having the computer automatically double space it won't transfer over to Fimfic. Any bolding, italicizing, or underlining must be done in Fimfic with the tags , , and written out in order to show up in the story view. Fimfic automatically aligns left, can be made to align center, and cannot align right. It does not justify. If you want to use a specific text color, you must select it within the story editor. The same applies for fonts and sizes. Fimfic only has basic text editing capabilities, so anything fancy you might want to try is unlikely to work. All these limitations may apply for Google Docs, which does not always import perfectly. Always go over each chapter in the editor before you publish it. You will catch many errors you did not even know you made.

6414592 After revising the spacing, I was able to find a couple spelling mistakes and other kinks in the story. Nothing too major. But over all, I feel much more satisfied with this story.

It'll certainly teach me to be more careful with my other stories. :rainbowlaugh: Good to see I'm improving.

I need to thank you and 6216891 for pointing out the problems in spacing with this story, allowing this story to develop.

Thankfully, Discord was there tom pick up the slack.

Discord was there tom

Tom.

This threw me off, and stopped my entire brain for a moment. Dunno why. Might wanna get that fixed.

My favorite ship. And you pulled it off awesomely. I thank you for writing this. Very short and sweet.

I see that there is another chapter. I'll hold off on my rating til after

6426492 Thanks. Though, be warned, the last chap isn't part of the story, it's basically just a link to the prequel story...which kinda failed. :rainbowlaugh:

But thanks again for your comments. I deeply appreciate them. :twilightsmile:

Discord, you just got to love his randomness

Soarin and Spike's 'confession' - I just cracked up:rainbowlaugh: fave chapter :pinkiecrazy:

He was good, kind and generous, always putting himself before others.

If he puts himself before others, he's selfish. If he puts others before himself, he's generous.

Loving this so far.

6938455
...
...
...
Oh my...
HOW DID I MISS THAT!?!?!?!?!
fmrcjihegfulfbykughhj
:fluttershbad:

I am so grateful to you for pointing this out...
But I'm too embarrassed and humiliated to feel grateful right now.:facehoof:
It's been fixed.
Hope it didn't screw up the experience too much.

That was why he was here, drying to drink it away or cry it out,

Trying

I love your stories man, AppleSpike FTW :ajsmug::heart::moustache:

This was a well written story. One of the things I enjoy about these kinds of stories is the fact that there is some time put into building up the relationship. Also this is one of my favorite ships. Bravo! :pinkiehappy:

"I'm Pinocchio." I said, before magically enlarging my nose, just to prove my point.

:trollestia:

"RIP Friendzone."

Yes! I always hated that guy!:trollestia:

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