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Soarin and the Wonderbolts769 stories ·239 members
New cover image commissioned from rainbowfaux
While spending the day at a fair in Ponyville, Soarin' is injured and stays at the farm for a while. He develops feelings for AJ, but can't act on them. When unexpected circumstances turn AJ's world upside down, will Soarin' stay to help her through? Will he ever be able to tell her he loves her?
Please comment and critique.
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Nice start.
And then everything gets weird.
Tracking!
An Applejack story, but no Applejack character tag?
582170
I don't add tags until the character's first appearance.
Tracking and Upvote, please update soon it looks really good so far.
things can only get more traumatizing from here.
Well, we all know what happens to Scootaloo now....
img.ponibooru.org/_images/c9f2183ab36ea7e1d752e6e66d045340/114579%20-%20artist%3Amanateemckenzie%20falling%20help%20rainbow_dash%20scootaloo%20scootaloo_can't_fly%20scootalove.png
Hmm. Interesting....excited to see the development on this.
Wait! Lucky belongs to WildFire! Noooooo
668033
If you look on the wiki, Lucky has a twin. I put the twin up for a vote and suggested Clover, but they named him Felix. AJ's boyfriend is not Lucky, but Lucky will make an appearance
This fanfic should really get some more likes and reviews. I think that the story is really good, even better than some fanfics I know that have gotten way more likes than this.
I particularly like the character Soarin', and interesting twist you have there, BDbrony. AJ already has a coltfriend!
There are really not enough Soarin' fanfics in fimfiction.net. Other characters that are not the Mane 6 are for authors who do not believe in going with the "manestream"
(I know, bad joke), the non-manestream characters are considered ponies like Braeburn, Big Mac, Lyra, Bon Bon, Derpy, Doctor Whooves, and other fan favorites. Soarin' and Spitfire are not one of them. They are just nor done frequently enough.
Lyra's gaining popularity, and so id Derpy, especially shipped with Doctor Whooves. Big Mac appears frequently, and Braeburn has gotten more frequent.
Soarin' is not gaining any popularity. He is mostly shipped with Rainbow Dash, but I love the Soarjack pairing. Twisoar is also good, although I prefer Soarjack.
I like how this story is progressing. Keep working - there are still people out there who really appreciate your work!
Brohoof!
Clover made a bet with a pony named 'Lucky' and expected to win?
One plead in the next chapters soarin must meet dash plz
Finally, a story where Soarin is paired with a character other than Rainbow Dash, Spitfire, or Braeburn. I shall read this when I have more time.
I was wondering where you were going with this.
Ok, the chapter was overall pretty good, but i just felt like some parts were being rushed through. Dont worry it's not enough to throw off any readers, so you have no need to shoot your computer......yet.
Uh oh...Rainbow is going to go all 'Fan-Boy Rage' on AppleJack for keeping Soarin a secret
878240
It's Always Sunny in Fillydelphia
878240
Love, Loss and Apples
For Better or Worse
Here's a couple more with Applejack
Also, I've seen a couple pictures on DeviantArt of Soarin' paired with Octavia. I kind of liked that, so I threw in the tidbit about him dating a cellist in chapter 3
878240 Soarin have to get past Clover (make Applejack realizes that she likes/loves Soarin' instead). It would be painful experience for all company involved.
There is also Rainbow Dash, I have an feeling that she would be gunning for Soarin.
And last but not least- Spitfire, been his childfoal friend.
....
This gonna end badly enough...
1183200 How? I see no cliffhanger or problem for Soren...just no date.
Let's see here...
AppleSoar shipfic, not something I see often.
Applejack is already in a committed and happy relationship.
Oh.
Oh dear...
Oh dear...
My Troper senses are tingling. This will end in disaster...
:Pain and hurt inbound.
Hmmm... Poor AJ. Pitty I don't have any sympathy for what is about to happen as she is my least fave pony. Actually, I look forward to it. Please, may I request a good heart renching scene where Apple Jack gets picked up by Soarin'? That would be totally awesome. I like Soarin' (he's the reason I started reading this fic) so I'm hoping for a few epic scenes coming up with him. What made me consider this ship between AJ and Soar is his love of pie
and she would happily provide there for him too...
As a massive Fluttedash fan, may I be so bold as to ask that you either ship Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy together, quietly on the side or keep quiet altogether with them and focus on Soarin' and Apple Jack.
Missing i
Liked the chapter :)
Eleventh dimensional construct. Caught it!
Interesting...I'm hoping you don't plan on having Clover turn and become a total douche all of a sudden, since he's been portrayed as a pretty decent guy so far, which would make it a little out of character for him.
That made me think of some creepy dragon that collects pony eyeballs.
I know that I will have to reread the story now, for some reason I'm thinking the foal isn't Clover's, and AJ and Soarin'... well you get the point.
I agree with 1890459, don't make Clover a jackass that is horribly cliche and apparently make him OCC.
1891990
Dammit! I was really hoping that would not be insinuated.
My interpretation of Soarin is that he is an honorable stallion. He has certain code of honor that he lives by. One of his rules, which I tried to communicate in his guilt of his feelings for AJ, is that you do not go after someone else's girlfriend.
He may have feelings for her, but as long as she is with Clover, he will not pursue her.
The foal is most certainly Clover's.
1893978
I figured that, and I am sorry for thinking that. I retract my previous statement.
But fucking ouch, Soarin is trapped at that place; unable to allow his feelings for AJ to truly bleed through.
Let's see what happens from now on, in regards if AJ is truly pregnant or not. (I'm not sure yet).
Good chapter.
1995246
Element of honesty. Bad liar, especially if it's a big lie.
She is most definitely pregnant
I suppose it was good that AJ didn't tell them the full story, otherwise they would be planing a funeral instead of a wedding. Well so begins the drama, and Clover better hope none of the Bearers, the Princesses, or their Guards get their hooves on him.
2073195
Or even worse, Big Macintosh.
LOVE IT!!! you really need to update more
2073307>>2073195
I'm certain that Celestia would be merciful and not let it hurt too much when she sent him to the moon.
Big Macintosh, however...
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSSq5IkSNqBUrHqv-PPft1GUgQCREeomduR3hd5KCxRfR0lgS1Vng
2073391
Depends on how you interpret Celestia, mine would make sure he pays quite a bit it child support and maybe let leave with the ability to produce another foal.
Another excellent chapter... though what I feared would come to pass did in fact come to pass... alas Clover... you blew it and big time. You have messed with one of the largest families in Equestria, an Element of Harmony, a friend (and possibly more!) of a Wonderbolt and a dear friend of a certain unicorn who's brother is captain of the royal guard. You'll never get away ...
Can't wait for the next chapter!
uh, just letting you know, you missed the A/N box
2075515
I tried putting the Author's note in the box, but it didn't show up
2075829 I figured as much, I was just letting you know.
Hooo, boy, Clover's in for some punchy-punch now.
This is really good. Like one of the best fics I've read good.
pls keep updating!
Poor AJ... you know, when I first started reading this story, I honestly thought the tragedy that breaks poor Applejack would be Clover dying.
I feel a lot worse considering she's more of a traditional mare and she's pregnant and the father chose to run away instead of take responsibility for his actions. Luckily, Applejack has her friends, family, and Soarin helping her... at the same time leaving the other love triangle of this story open.
... You want to know what I find odd about your story and mine?
Though yours is by far the superior product, mine has around 60 likes compared to your 56.
I believe this calls for a recommendation on my part. I'll be sure to recommend your story in my own.
You certainly are far more deserving of the praise than I am chap. You have experience, elegance, and grace.
Where as I only have brute force, an original shipping, and a dubious story at best to offer.
... If you don't mind, I would like your critique on my character interpretations of Applejack and Spitfire.
It would be most immensely appreciated. Story is called "Farming in the Icy Inferno".
2296753
You flatter me. I am but a child in a world of adults.
I read the first chapter of your story and your characterization seems spot on.
You should watch the consistency with AJ saying 'I' and 'Ah', though. Pick one and stick to it.
You also seem to be much better at showing vs. telling than I am, so congrats on that.
2301518
... Really? Truly a surprise. I practically scrutinized each chapter's contents for quite some time. I am rather paranoid over the quality of each chapter, in a way that is OCD. To be honest, I was rather fearful of trying to nail down all the little things about each character, and describing their actions. For example, you know how romance stories have the little details added in between? That's what worried me. Without it, you would be hard pressed to flesh out a story. It add's character to each chapter, something to define the structure and make it stand out amongst the others.
Words do not come easy to me when describing feeling. One's interpretation of my own words could be vastly different than what I originally intended. It doesn't help that I don't have a proof reader to back me up on the issue.
As for the "Show, don't tell" thing? That was one of the things I least expected to nail down. Reasons being is that I don't have any idea of what kind of emotions I invoke with my own words. I NEED data in order for me to feel at least somewhat harmonious with my audience and characters, you see where I am going with this?
Ill regardless though, I look forward to a more in dept review from your audience.