You gotta kick at the darkness until it bleeds daylight.
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This story is a sequel to Divine Intervention
"Cool,/I'm just trying to be cool./It's all because of you." -Phoenix, 'Trying To Be Cool'
After seeing Spike in a brand new light and seeing him as more than just Twilight's assistant, Rainbow Dash wants to tell Spike. However, it seems she's too scared of being seen as uncool by doing such. Will she spit it out or just let it bother her?
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And now it's Dashie's turn to fall for Spike's Swag.
Well that was nice!
that was sweet. Short...but sweet.
Rainbow Dash seemed OOC, and there were a bunch of grammatical errors and stuff, but you've earned a like from me, pal.
I find myself telling so many people this: Spike ain't much younger than the Mane Six. If the Mane Six are all young adults (20-25), and Twilight is 25 (leader of the group, princess, etc.), Then that would Spike at around 20, because Twilight was probably 4-5 in that flashback in The Cutie Mark Chronicles (when she hatched Spike). I'd put Rainbow Dash on the younger end of the spectrum (20-23), so the age difference isn't really an issue.
3623354 I understand you comment about the out of character-ness of Dash, but that's a bit of the point of this story of how Rainbow is dealing with something that makes her act differently. But I am glad that you enjoyed it for what it is.
More SpikeDash?
I'm down with this on so many levels, you don't even know.
I literally fist-punched the air when I read that line. I'll try and ignore how pretentious this might sound, but one of the biggest issues I face with a relationship in real life is that girls don't really know much about me. They all say "Oh, I like / love you", and I'm just thinking "I mentioned I was a brony, right? And that I read and write shipping? And that I have a zillion plushies? And my room suggests I have an unhealthy obsession with ponies?"
The reality is that they've never seen my room, so they wouldn't know. Because they don't really know anything about me, they just like me because I deal out compliments like a vending machine.
But I digress, I can agree that Dash is a little OOC in this fic, but I dislike using the phrase "OOC" because let's be honest, characters change the way they act all the time. I'm almost certain I've written a very long-winded, rant-y thread on the subject. However, the reason why I use it here is that there's nowhere in the fic that Dash acts how she would ordinarily. There were some really nice, subtle touches such as Dash carelessly throwing the books out her bag, but she didn't have any of her usual brashness. I feel that she probably would have been more brash up until the point that Twilight mentioned Spike. After that, I liked your little foray into Dash's psyche.
I can see by reading this that you're actually a pretty strong writer; your grammar and sentence structuring is good, your descriptions weren't too long or too short, and your dialogue was almost spot-on. I do feel that Rarity was a little too... Rarity, but honestly Rarity can be a little tricky to nail anyway. I won't hold it against you.
My biggest wish for this fic was that it was longer. I liked how you separated it into three chapters that separated the three main scenes so well: the scene with Twilight, the scene with Rarity, and the scene with Twilight. You addressed all three characters who should rightfully be considered in a Spike shipfic and showed that Dash had their support.
My biggest peeve in this fic is that you threw the word "love" around pretty carelessly. I might have to write a thread on this subject, but the gist is that saying that you love someone should be a big deal. It shouldn't be something you mention in casual conversation to a friend before you've even admitted your feelings to the object of your affections.
I hope this comment provides any constructive criticism you may be looking for. Thank you for writing a SpikeDash. I do love this ship more than is healthy, to be honest.
Stay awesome, you!
3623831 First off, thank you for reading the fic. I was nervous on doing a sequel of the first SpikeXDash fic I created but it seems people really do like it.
I am honored about what you said about me and my writing. For that, thank you.
As for the OOC, it is something I wanted to write out more. I wrote her (from what I can tell) completely as she was in show for the first SpikeXDash, 'Divine Intervention', and this time, I wanted to show the other side of the coin, if you will.
I also admit, it has been a while since I wrote something due to school and what not. I was just happy I got to write this and finish it before I went to a concert last night.
And yes, your comment did provide constructive criticism, which I always welcome. So yes, thank you. And to be honest, I like the idea of these two a lot as well.
3623383 By OOC I meant OOC even in the situation...I couldn't Dash behaving the way she did throughout this story but I could see her having a crush. Try to play out the scene in your head; complete with MLP animation and everything, and having the characters say exactly what they do in the story. It just doesn't flow very well. Even Spike was a bit OOC...he was never one to simply accept insults, and he talks about more than books.
3623831 I actually cringed when Dash said 'love'. That had to be her most off-character moment in this story. My personal peeve was (as I mentioned before) that Spike was being taken for a lot younger than he is.
One thing I strongly dislike about Spike shipfics is when they don't deal with the fact that Spike likes Rarity, or when their relationship is simply dismissed as 'She was using him', but I think I'ma let it slide here just because it was short and told largely from Dash's perspective (that wouldn't usually be enough for me to do so, but there's something about this fic...).
Keep writing, my friend!
3624205 Well, I did what I could. I admit I was out of practice in writing for sometime.
Also, what did you mean by 'there is something about this fic'?
3624400
There is something about this fic that makes it awesome.
Probably the SpikeDash.
3624205
You probably place Spike a lot older than I. I like to believe that the main six are all early twenties late teenies, and Spike is around 14-15 - at that age where they haven't quite matured just yet.
If that were to be the case, then a relationship between, say, an 18 year old and a 15 year old would be an issue, whereas in a few years when it's an 18 year old with a 21 year old would not be a big deal.
As was the case with one of my previous relationships. Of course it's more acceptable for me to be in that same relationship because I'm now 18.
I always found age restrictions and social expectations a little silly, but them's the law, I guess.
I personally like how the author at least tried to address the age difference, even if he didn't really elaborate on why that'd be such a big issue. It reminds me of a silly yet serious idea I thought up where Dash ends up in court because Spike's underage, and her main defense is that Spike isn't a pony and is exempt from the law.
It was... a strange idea. Unfortunately, I'm not familiar enough with court cases to actually develop that one.
I'm not going to lie, this is something that I thought was odd that the author didn't address; he didn't signify that there had been any passage of time. Instead, Spike just seemed to have forgotten about it. I actually wrote a pretty big thread on the subject at one point.
3628045
For the Rarity aspect in this particular story, I see it as Spike realizing what he feels for Rarity is nothing more than a crush. Nothing more. I admit, I didn't really touch on that (and I should have at least touched) since it's not focused on Spike, rather on Rainbow.
And yes, their is a time passage since 'Divine Intervention', but I didn't say how long for a reason, letting you, the reader, interpret that.
So many parodied books & authors.
Oh great and you parody singers as well.
3631967
Yup. In the story that takes place before this one ('Divine Intervention'), there are far more book parodies. And I wrote a 'music article' for the Everfree Conbook that also has plenty of parodied musicians.
Purely romantic and most excellent. Kudos.
that last part
I ain't afraid of a stern Rarity, it is Psycho Pinkie that I am afraid of.
Idea for the final book in this SpikeDash saga:
]
the first chapter shows a couple of the many dates Spike and Rainbow Dash figure out more about each other,
+dinner date, a movie date, and finally a very romantic and STEAMY (PG-13) picnic in a secluded section of the town park( preferably near a stream, creek, or pond/lake).
chapter two would deal with meeting the rest of the family on both sides, then the engagement then, MARRIAGE!
final chapter would be set in the near future as it is shown that the entire SpikeDash Saga was told by spike to his and RD's two foals.[ and yes most if not all of the rest of the mane 6 will have families of their own
-well what do you think my friend?
-Sincerely,
Panzerbrony
4214570 Well, a second sequel isn't out of the realm of possibly, but at this moment, no promises if it will ever happen. But that's for your comments and for reading it.
4213608
Why? She'll only bake cupcakes with you
4419661 ahh! you get away from me phsyco! no I do not want to make cupcakes! flies awa
4419661 Hey, haven't seen you around some time.
Go be unexpected toward spike dash
If you hurt a single scale on him, you'll be answering to me
Stuff animal party
3619362 yep spike is the swag master.... He's as good at swagging as he is in spiking the punch
Ok I admit my joke really sucked
Ok I am more scared of rarity then I am of pinkie pie in smile hd, like seriously I have the image of rarity smacking blublood upside the head multiple times
:3 I'm going to sit in my room and have a fangirl moment now. _2 hours of crashing and breaking sounds later_
anyway, awesome job! great story! it was clear and descriptive. i liked it :)
4805610 I second that notion
And here we...go! This is going to be good, short but to the point.
What a twist, never thought Rainbow would go to Rarity of all ponies, really great job.
Now I want to see them go on dates and stuff, this seemed to end was to fast but it's a really good read, hoping for more.
How about a Shetland King novel about seven young ponies who are being followed by a nightmarish creature that morphs into each of their own fears?”
Wait until she gets to the part where all the guys have to have sex with the lone female in order to save the world! (Yes, that really happened in the book, because Stephen King is a little crazy). Make sure to have fun with the Stephen King drinking game!! (available at your local liquor store)
Boo! It is terrible! How does Twilight Sparkle even have a copy of that in her library?!
Now, Batmare comics, that would be amazing!
https://derpibooru.org/58530?q=monochrome