Episode 60: THE LOVEOCALYPSE!
You peer your head around the corner for any signs of them. After seeing that none of them are in the area, you motion to your group to move forward. You stay back as you watch Flash, Spike, the CMC, and your daughter cross over to the next ally. You quickly follow behind them, just in time as a crowd of them just ran by. Spike sighs in relief as he asks,
"Okay, so we managed to get away from the town hall and we managed to distract them long enough to get far away from them, but now what do we do?"
Apple Bloom breaths deeply before saying,
"A'h think we need to find someplace safe first. An ally in the middle of town ain't actually love-zombie proof."
Scootaloo raises her hoof into the air as she says,
"I second that!"
You nod you head at them as you say,
"I agree, and luckily I know the best place to hide out for now. We just need to get to Sweet Apple Acres, then we can hide out in the Cutie Mark Crusader's clubhouse to think up a plan."
Sweetie nods her head at your idea, but then gets a confused look as she asks,
"But... how are we supposed to get there? The whole town is infested by love-zombies out for Mister Tennent's bloo-er heart. How are we gonna get past all of them?"
You put on your thinking face at this as you say,
"Well, if these were actual zombies we could cover ourselves in their guts and walk slowly by them and they wouldn't notice us. But since these are just love-sick ponies we can't do that since... well since it's murder and I don't wanna kill anypony... Again..."
Your eyes flash sadness and guilt for a second before it disappears as you say,
"I could teleport us there, but with my luck we would end up on the moon (or in her bathroom) rather than the girls' club house. If only Sweetie could teleport. Oh well I guess we can run for it. How long do you think it is from here to the cu-"
"Ahem."
You stop your rambling as you look over to Flash (who interrupted you) and ask,
"Ya Flash, you got an idea?"
He simply gives you a blank look as he points towards a...
Time to do what ever show eventually does...
TO THE SEWERS!!!
Sewer cover...
"Please don't tell me we have to-"
Flash interrupts you with a sigh before he says,
"Sadly, yes. I studied the layout of Ponyville before I came here-uh... for a research project back at Canterlot."
He quickly blurts out a excuse after you looked at him suspiciously for studying Ponyville. Even though you suspect it's a lie, you let it slide as you say,
"That's interesting, but how does that help us get to the apple orchard?"
Flag smiles as he says,
"There's a sewer tunnel that passes right by the field and to an outhouse just at the edge of it. We can get there without being seen, but we will mostly likely smell for a few months."
You, the CMC, Nightshade, and Spike look at him blankly before you just sigh and say,
"Ugh... Okay. We'll take the sewers. Ohhhh this is gonna suck..."
With that said, Flash and Spike lift the sewer cover as you and your group head down into the sewers...
ONE DISGUSTING SEWER TRIP LATER
You gasp for air as you get out of the outhouse. You run away from it as you breathe in the air while thinking,
Oh sweet sweet not-smelling-disgusting air. Never leave me again.
You look behind you to see that the rest of the group has gotten out of the sewer. Luckily, the sewer levels weren't that high, so the only thing covered in sewage for you and your group is your hooves. As soon as everyling has gotten a fresh breath of clean air, you all head towards the club house with Apple Bloom leading the way (you decline leading since your sense of direction sucks and you'd get everyling lost even if you'd already been there before).
AT THE CLUBHOUSE
After hosing off your hooves in the clubhouse, you say/ask,
"Okay. We got a town full of love-zombies closing in around us and the book doesn't have any useful quick way to un-love them. Basically what I'm saying is that we need a plan and FAST. Anypony got any ideas?"
There are a few moments of silence as you all think before Scootaloo excitedly breaks it.
"I got a great idea!"
"Great, let's hear... it?"
You look to where Scootaloo was, but see that she's gone. You're about to go after her when Flash reminds,
"Don't worry Mr. Tennant. The love-zombies are only after you so she'll be fine."
"Oh, oka- Wait a minute. If the love-zombies are only after me, why did the rest of you follow me into the sewer?"
The other ponies in the room go wide-eyed in realization before Spike says,
"I... guess it was the heat of the moment?" causing the rest of the ponies all sheepishly look at their hooves at their past stupidity.
"Anyway... Ideas. Need. Now. Go." you say.
You begin to think about what you could do to evade the loveocalypse
"Damn, they are going to trap me... What can I do?" Ask Bugzee
"Buck them all?" Ask Nightshade
"I will not hit them, they are not evil" Say Bugzee
-Clobber everypony?: Seeing how 50 Shades of Hay is a best-selling novel about to be turned into an Applewood movie, that would probably only end up making them lust after you more.
"Well, if ya don't want them in love with ya, why don't ya just just buck em all?" Apple Bloom asks.
"Woah woah woah! I'm saving it for marriage! Besides, I don't think even an alicorn would have enough stamina to satisfy-*smack*"
Flash smacks you upside the head with a glare before you rub the back of your head and ask,
"What? Oh... That kind of bucking..." you say in sheepish realization.
Flash rolls his eyes (while Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Nightshade, and Spike look in confusion) before Nightshade says,
"Yeah, why not just clobber everypony? You've done it several times bef-"
I concur. We should apply repeated blunt force trauma to every mare-
"They're not in their right minds so I'm not hurting them." you cut off Nightshade and Selena before they can say anymore, "Besides, with 50 Shades of Hay being a bestselling-novel-turned-Applewood-hit, beating up everypony would probably just make them lust after me more..."
As Flash smirks at your joke that goes over the heads of the foals while Sweetie Belle suggests,
"Uh, Maybe you could teleport?"
"My teleport spell is WAY too unreliable." you counter, "With my luck we'll all be teleported into a volcano."
"I know!!! I'll send a letter to Princess Celestia, she could help us!" Spike suddenly shouts as he takes a quill, writes a letter in record time, and sends it with his fire, but in a couple of seconds it's returned.
"Darn... I forgot, Celestia has a 'special tradition' every Hearts and Hooves Day and can't be contacted..." Spike remembers.
MEANWHILE IN CANTERLOT
"Come in..."
On that command, half a dozen strapping stallions with oiled-muscles and black bowties enter the Royal quarters as Princess Celestia lies on her bed.
"You know what to do..." Celestia says licking her lips.
On que, the stallions put down the HUGE heart-shaped box that they're carrying (psych!) and place it on the ground before Celestia's bed.
Celestia's usual "Hearts and Hooves Day" tradition is being given a HUGE heart-shaped box of chocolate (except with cakes made in the shapes/flavors of chocolates instead of chocolates in each compartment)
"Thank you my little ponies. You may leave."
With a nod, the stallions leave Celestia's chambers as the solar monarch levitates the lid off the large box, revealing chocolate-frosted cakes of various shapes, textures, and fillings in each compartment.
"I love this holiday..."
BACK TO THE CLUBHOUSE
*ding*
Wait, if they're all searching for Baker Sylvester Tennant, I can just take off my clothes and hide as a changeling or as the hooded offender!
Bad idea. You have a Royal Guard lieutenant, a baby dragon who communicates directly with the false sun goddess, and an earth pony who has personal reasons to hate the Hooded Offender and changeling aspects of your being. Selena points out.
Dang... If only there was somepony we could ask for help, somepony that knew all about love and love bi-products, maybe a certain princes-
*Ding*
"I know!" you proclaim, "Tom! What do we do!?" you asked a giant bolder that just happened to be lying just outside the clubhouse window.
...
Unfortunately, Tom is incapable of verbal communication... and also a giant rock.
"Well fine, be that way." you turn away indignantly in a huff, "Let's see if I have your back the next time you're in a fix. Now I need to think of somepony else that can-"
*Ding*
"Princess Cadance! Of course! Spike, write a letter to Cadance!"
"Sorry, but I can only send letters to Celestia and even then it's because of some super very hard ritual... or that is what Twilight told me." Spike explains,
"Horseapples..." you groan, ”If only we had another way of contacting Cadance- *ding*"
All these 'dings' are starting to make me feel like a pinball machine...
You grab a pen and crayon on a nearby table and rapidly start to write. As you write, the group gives you confused faces as Flash asks,
"Uh, what are you doing Mister Tennant?"
You give an annoyed grunt as you say,
"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm writing a letter."
"How's a letter going to help us snap everypony outta their obsession with you?"
You smirk slightly as you say,
"It's not the letter that's gonna help us..."
You put your finished letter into the canister Cadence sent you before casting a teleport spell on it. You hear a *pop* as well as see the canister disappear which means the letter has been sent.
"It's the pony that's gonna read it that's gonna help us."
...
"Why you write it in such a hurry? It's probably all sloppy with errors and mis-spellings too."
You eye twitches at Sweetie's remark as you say in annoyance,
"Hey! Those love zombies can find us at any moment, so I had to hurry Miss. Grammar Fascist."
...
"What's a Fascist?" Sweetie asks.
"What's a Grammar?" Nightshade asks.
You facehoof at Sweetie and Nightshade's questions as you think,
Cadence, please hurry up and read the letter.
WINSOME FALLS
Meanwhile in a luxurious camp located in scenic Winsome Falls, Cadence is sitting on hill under a shady tree enjoying the view while she waits for Shining to return with their lunch. Then, a letter arrives interrupting the peace and tranquility for something a bit more urgent.
Obviously Cadence opens the letter, only to find a few disjointed sentence fragments hastily written in crayon that read:
Love poison! Ponyville go crazy! HALP!
Bugze
At last! Cadence thinks to herself, This is the moment I've been waiting for, a chance to show my aunties that I'm not just some disposable pushover. There's a love crisis; something specifically for me to deal with, and on my favorite day of all days! Look out Ponyville, here comes Princess Mi amore Cadenz-
"Hey honey..." Shining's voice interrupts seductively, "Like what you see?"
She turns around to see Shining standing there holding a box of fried chocolates and a bouquet of flowers... and wearing mares' lingerie with a black bow-tie,
"I thought I'd give you a little something extra special for Hearts and Hooves day this year."
*POMF*
"Bugze can probably handle this one himself."
BACK WITH YOU
You smile at the familiar robotic tone as the canister appears before you. You smile widely as you pull out the letter and read it...
Sorry Bugze, having fun with the husband. Good luck with the love poison thing.
...
"BUUUUUUUCCCC-!"
Your cry of anger is cut short as Flash covers your mouth as he hisses,
"Quiet! You'll attract every love-zombie in the area if you yell like that!"
You nod your head as Flash removes his hoof from your mouth but before you can say anything, Sweetie Belle says,
-BURN EVERYTHING: Very tempting... but no.
"We could burn down Ponyville, I mean this is everypony's home so if we burn it down, everypony will hate you and they should be cured, right?"
You stare at Sweetie for a few seconds before you start to mumble,
"Yes... Sweet fiery blaze, burning all the wood to ash. Bright, orange and red cleansing the poison as it clings onto all it touches. So pretty, so beautiful, so pure. Hearing the wood scream in agony as it is consumed by magnificent cleansing flam-*cough* sorry."
You stop your pyro ranting as you notice everyling is giving you freaked out looks, so you decide to cover it up by saying,
"Sorry Sweetie, even though that idea is beautifully brilliant, I can't go through with it cause your sister, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and the rest of the town will kill me as soon as they put out the flames... Assuming they don't throw me into the fire first..."
"Can't we just wait here?" Spike asks,
"Because... " you're about to argue when you suddenly agree, "Yeah, you're right. Since we're at the edge of Sweet Apple Acres, nopony will find us-"
*crash*
Suddenly Sunshower Raindrops crashes through the ceiling of the clubhouse. When the dust settles, she gets up with hearts in her eyes as she screams,
"HUSBANDO-*pow*"
"Falcon Kick!"
Fortunately, Nightshade punts the pegasus out the hole she made in the ceiling.
"At this rate, the rest won't be too far behind." Flash comments.
You can't help but sigh in defeat as you say,
"You guys got any more ideas cause I'm ou-"
Notice that the Pink "Lover's Jewel" Necklace is glowing in the Inventory
You stop when you feel a tingling sensation from the Inventory. As the others throw around more ideas between themselves, you look into the Inventory to see that the Lover’s Jewel Necklace is glowing. Even through it's bottomless, you still manage to see it...somehow, so you can't help but think,
What the? Why is the Lovers jewel glowing? Oh! Maybe it's because it's Heart's and Hooves d-
"Hey guys! I'm back."
You stop your thoughts and smile at Scootaloo's voice as you turn around and see...
Scootaloo walking in with a grin,
"I found us some help."
You look to the door, and your heart sinks in your chest...
Colts!
Over a dozen colts follow Scootaloo into the clubhouse, a few (including Rumble and Button Mash) give you the evil eye.
Nightshade clears her throat,
"Scoot? What the BUCK are you thinking?!"
Flash laughs,
"We have an army of our own, now! That's what she's thinking!" He pushes you forward. "Well? Motivate your troops."
"Do what now?"
"We're outnumbered with just about every mare in town wanting a piece of your flank, and now we've got some numbers of out own. Give them the speech from Hurricane!"
"From what?" you ask in confusion.
"How do you not know-?! Whatever." Flash digs around in his guitar case and pulls out an Equestrian flag. "Here, hold this behind me."
"Why?"
"You really don't know this scene? It's from the greatest war movie ever made!"
You snort, "Spaceship Troopers might disagree with you."
He narrows his eyes,
"You did not just say that."
One of the colts raises his hoof,
"Scootaloo said we can break stuff and not get in trouble for it. Is that true?"
"Er..." you and Flash look at him, back at each other and back to him.
"More or less?" you both say uncertainly.
The colts break out into wild cheers.
"YES! YES! YES!"
"For freedom!"
"FOR WANTON DESTRUCTION!!!"
"We who are about to die salute you!"
You blink,
"Wait, What was that last one?"
"Doesn't matter!" Flash drapes a leg over your shoulders. "I have the greatest plan ever."
You hold your hoof up as you say,
"Wait before you do, I gotta say something."
Flash looks at you in confusion, but shrugs as he backs up. You smile as you look back at the colts (which you now see as soldiers and not daughter-stealers... at the moment) and say,
"Listen up!" You bark as you pace in front of the army of Colts like a drill sergeant,
"In the Lovepocolypse, there are many dangers. There's screamers, huggers, stalkers, husband-stealer haters, fillyfoolers, and insanely tough and fast ones... Which are pretty much all of them. Which is why I will be teaching you about one of high school's most notorious inventions: Stink Bombs."
Smoke Bomb Recipe Taught.
"Use these bad boys only for emergencies. Alright, Colts! Get into groups of three, and if you have extra or less, than that's fine, but you better be ready to rock! Now let's go!"
Ear shattering cheers shake the Clubhouse.
"Oh, and one more thing" you add as you slap your ear to regain your hearing, "Don't try to be an Old Bill and sacrifice yourselves. Your parents will kill me. Oh! Also, make sure you're shouting 'delete' as you destroy stuff, okay?"
All the colts nod their heads as they salute and shout-chant,
You and Flash share a look as you both smirk slightly and say at the same time,
"Doctor Whooves for life." Que hoof bump. Flash's suddenly frowns as he says,
"Now here's the plan..."
Well...
I guess I should...
Should what?
*sigh*
I'm gonna have to wreck everyone's favorite possessions.
...
"Yes..."
"I guess, we have to..." he says hesitantly.
"Should what?" you ask.
Flash sighs before saying,
"I guess we have no choice but to identify and destroy the favorite possessions of the citizens on Ponyville."
...
As the colts, Spike, and CMC start making smoke bombs, you say,
"I hope we survive this."
LATER IN PONYVILLE
You sprint through the streets of Ponyville, chased by the crazed mob.
"THIS IS THE WORST PLAN EVER!"
"THIS IS THE WORST PLAN EVER!" you scream as you sprint through the streets of Ponyville, chased by the crazed mob. While Flash's plan is working (as evidenced by several ponies crying over smashed treasured possessions... Note to self: Send them anonymous apology cards later), the lustful mob is still very large. Suddenly you feel a lasso around you and your yanked into an alley as you hear Rainbow Dash yell,
"HE WENT THAT WAY!!! FOLLOW ME!!!"
You open your eyes and see Rainbow Dash leading the mob away.
You give a sigh of relief as the love mob runs by. You turn around and can't help but smile as you say,
"Thanks dude. If you didn't lasso me in here who knows what would have happen."
"No problem... Sugarcube."
Your eyes widen as they recognize the voice, but before you can do anything, Applejack grabs your head, pulls down your scarf and face mask, and roughly kisses you. You taste apples in her kiss, but with a small flavor of cinnamo-
NO! BAD BUG!
You manage to pry yourself away and exclaim,
"Oh Buck!"
You begin to back away from the love sick farmpony, only to bump into something... fluffy? You slowly turn your head in terror to see what you bumped into only for another pair of hooves to grab your head and pull you into another pair of lips. This time you taste the hot rainbows they make in the weather factory (long story involving Grandbuggy, a mission to Cloudsdale, and some counterfeit hairpins), but at a temperature that felt just rig-
NO! FOCUS!!!
Again, you manage to break away and see it's Rainbow Dash with her wings stiff and pulsing again as she says,
"Hey there hot stuff, miss me?"
You jump away from the smitten Pegasus as you shout,
"DOUBLE BUCK!"
You look back and forth between the two heart-eyed ponies, but you soon realize that you’re trapped between a hick and a rainbow. You gulp in fear as they both slowly walk toward you, cornering you against the wall as they begin to speak one after each other, starting with Applejack,
"So Mister Tennant..."
"You must be tired after all that running..."
"Maybe ya should lay down and rest..."
"While we have a go around your..."
"Most important..."
They then say at the same time
"Tool."
*spurt*
You begin to shake in a combination of terror and guilty excitement as your nose bleeds, but you get a great idea! You smirk slightly as you look at Applejack and say...
“Hey Applejack, I choose Rainbow over you!”
“That’s OK sugarcube, whatever you want...”
“Heck ya!” shouts Rainbow.
“Say what now?” you ask taken aback.
“We’ve come to realize we both love you and each other, so all three of us will have each other forever!” Rainbow shouts.
“Yeah, we’re gonna need a bigger and stronger bed for all the nightly rodeos...” smirks Applejack with a lustful wink.
*SPURT*
Fortunately, a huge burst of blood from your nose launches you out of the alley and into another part of town. As you get back up, Selena comments,
That's strange...
What is? you think as you put your face mask and scarf back on.
Normally the love potion turns it's victims into imbeciles who do nothing but babble disgusting nicknames for each other, but the hick and the fiillyfooler were able to form coherent sentences and think of tactics.
Hmm... Maybe the fact that Nightshade mixed it with punch cut down the effect of the po- whoa...
Unfortunately, you've lost a lot of blood through nosebleeds and feel very light headed and woozy as you start to stumble. With the last of your consciousness, you manage to think of a plan and yell,
"TENNANT NEEDS OJ BADLY!!!"
"Here ya go!"
Just as planned, Pinkie Pie suddenly appears with 2 gallons of orange juice. You grab the gallons from her before chugging down the citrus-y goodness. Before you can thank her, you notice she's gone. You're about to question this when you hear,
"HUSBANDO!!!"
"GAH! How did they find me?" you yell in panic as you start to run.
Perhaps it was their collective deductive genius... or the fact that you just SHOUTED A REQUEST FOR CITRUS NECTAR!
"Not the time!" you counter as you continue to run, but as you look behind you, you see that the love-zombies are gaining on you (even worse now that Rainbow Dash and Applejack are rejoining the mob)! You start to gallop even faster as...
"Mister Tennant!"
You look up to see Rumble flying overhead dropping a framed picture. You catch it and see it's an picture of Rainbow Dash with the Wonderbolts, autographed by Spitfire herself.
Oh... Such a waste of a good autograph... you think as you hurl the picture at the nearest wall.
Suddenly a rainbow blur shoots by you and catches it. You see Rainbow lying on the ground, inspecting the frame for damage before she holds it to her chest and sighs,
I wanted to see it shatter. Crushing the fillyfooler's happ-
"Flower bed on the left!"
Selena's sadistic rambling is cut short by Spike's outburst as he leans out of an alley way and tosses a lit Molotov Cocktail to you. In one fluid motion (that you still can't believe you pulled off), you leap, catch the lit bottle, and hurl it onto a stone pathway on your left, settling the flowers on fire.
"No! Get the flames out! Get them out!"
You look back and see the Flower Trio snapping out of the love potion and dumping water on the fire.
"Burn in the name of the Prophet! AH HA HA HA!" you laugh evilly.
The chase takes you past the Carousel Boutique, and you spot three dressed-up mannequins outside. You bump into them causing them to tip over towards a mud puddle, but you hear Rarity shriek, and a blue aura catches them.
Hey, she actually put her heart and soul into making those. That was just mean. What kind of lowlife would try to-pfft HA HA HA! Sorry! I couldn't say it with a straight face! More! MORE!
Flash glides next to you and says with a smirk,
"Ready for a break yet?"
"THE BUCK DO YOU THINK?!"
He chuckles and grabs you, taking you up into the sky. More colts jump out of hiding and throw smoke/stink bombs into the crowd to blind them.
Oh, come on! You can keep going! I want to see the Solar Monarch’s pawns cry over their smashed treasures...
Flash carries you to a rooftop to rest,
"We've got the rest of the teams still searching for valuables. We'll be ready for phase 2 whenever you are."
As you catch your breath, you suddenly hear the sound of heavy robotic stomps. You and Flash look in the direction they're coming from and see...
Two groups of colts wearing pots on their heads and trash bin tops tied to their hooves with mini water guns taped to one of their hooves. As they near a group of love zombies, they suddenly stop and point the water guns at the group as they all say in a robotic tone,
"You shall be deleted!"
And with that they fire their water guns at the mob driving then back into a store, which the colts then block the door with some random stuff. The colts see you and give you a salute (this kind with their hooves over their chest) before they continue to walk down a street while chanting,
"Delete. Delete. Delete. Delete."
You and Flash stare in awe at what you both just witness, before you give a sniffle of nerdy pride as you say,
"That...that was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."
Flash has his own sniff of pride as he nods his head and says,
"I... I wish I had my camera."
Before you and Flash can continue your worshiping of what just happened, you both hear... crying? You and Flash share a look of confusion as you both look towards where it's coming from and see...
A mare was weeping silently at a bench.
"Is she even infected?" you asked.
Flash shrugged,
"I don't know. Although she doesn't seem love sick, she seemed... heartbroken. Maybe we have a survivor here."
With that Flash fly's you down to the ground near the weeping mare. As he begins to walk towards her (without you noticing), you can't help but comment
"...Are we even sure? I mean, zombie game instincts says otherwise."
But, so soon begin to realize that the mare’s blue coat and pink mane looks familiar...
Too late, Flash Sentry approached her to give some comfort when the mare suddenly tackles him and angrily screams,
"Husbano Stealer!" as she jumps into the air and performs a spinning piledriver on Flash, smashing him into the bench. Recognizing the accent you blurt out,
"Lotus?!"
Suddenly Lotus whips her head up from the fallen Pegasus with hearts in her eyes as she cries out in happiness,
"Husbano!"
It was a double trouble way of alerting your location.
I am so bucked...
Suddenly, an old stallion appeared out of nowhere screaming,
"My love!" as he comes in for a face hug as you scream frozen in horror.
"Falcon Kick!"
Luckily, Nightshade (also out of nowhere) Falcon kicked him in the nuts before it did.
"Thanks honey" you say, "Normally I don't advocate violence against the elderly, but maybe I'll cut down your grounding time."
Before Nightshade could reply, you both see more love-zombies incoming.
"Better run daddy!" Nightshade yells before darting off and you follow suit in the opposite direction.
"Why again?! Why?!" Still, you found yourselves running away from a Horde of Lovesick Zombies. "Holy buck, Holy buck, holy buck buck buck! Buck me!"
"YES!!! BUCK HUSBANDO!!!" cried the mob.
"No! I didn't mean it like that you idiots!"
"YEAH!!!"
You risk a look back and see Bulk "Snowflake" Biceps barreling through the mob with hearts in his eyes,
Ohh... Of all the ponies in this bucking town, why does HE have to be the bucking tank?! Honestly, how do you make a love-zombified juggernaut like him hate me?!
You start to double time it and the sound of your cyber-colts breaking stuff does help make the mob a little smaller, but you soon begin to tire out. You look up just in time to see Flash coming towards via the air. You smile in joy at about to be saved from the mob again, when...
Twilight decides to teleport inside.
"KILL THE HUSBANDO/WAIFU/WHATEVERTHEBUCKITISTHEREDAYS!"
You and Flash scream "BUCK THIS" and crash out the nearest window.
You see a purple flash above him! Your eyes widen in terror as you see Twilight appear right above Flash! And before you can warn him, Twilight gives a crazed shout of,
"KILL THE HUSBANDO... WAIFU... WHATEVERTHEBUCKITISTHEREDAYS!!!"
The next thing you know, she tackles Flash in midair and sends him crashing into a nearby building! Your eyes start to tear up as you give a cry of,
"NOOOO! FLASH! YOU WERE SUCH A GOOD SOLIDER! WHY'D YOU HAVE TO GO OUT LIKE THAT! IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN RAINBOW! IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN RAIN-"
DING DONG, THE STEALER IS DEAD!!! WHICH STEALER? THE WAIFU-STEA-
"SHUT THE BUCK UP!!!" you and Selena scream at the annoying voices.
Before you can continue your shouts of sadness, you see the love-zombie mob catching up to you! Your eyes widen in terror as you see Bulk leading the charge and you try to sprint faster, but as you do you hear Applebloom shout,
"DODGE!"
Instincts kick in as you jump to the left, just in time as a...
While running through the streets to find more valuables to break, in the middle of the chaos, a jar filled with a strange red substance flies past you and shatters on a nearby wall. Turning your head to look at it, you see that the remains have reformed to create a bloody version of the words that have haunted you so far.
THE NIGHTMARE COMES
A jar filled with cherry-flavored corn syrup sails past your head and shatters on a nearby wall. Turning your head to look at it, you see that the remains have reformed to create a bloody version of the words that have haunted you so far,
THE NIGHTMARE COMES
Your eye twitches in fear as you shout to the heavens,
"MOTHER OF LUNA NOOOOOO! GET AWAY FROM ME! WHAT DO YOU BUCKING MEAN!"
Unfortunately, this screaming gives the mob time to close in on you so when you snap out of it you think,
Well...there goes saving it for marriage. This is gonna suck... Maybe literally and I know Grandbuggy would say this is the best way to go NO! BAD BUG!!!
And with that thought you close your eyes and wait for the zombies to get you...
And wait...
And wait...
And wait...
Déjà vu much?
You open your eyes wondering why you're not being kissed, hugged, groped, and bucked to death and see...
Fluttershy using 'The Stare' to immobilize the whole mob.
“Wow, thanks Fluttershy I...” before using it on you. You get pinned down by Fluttershy's stare which is enhanced by the heart-eyes, and the look she's giving you is horrifying.
“There! I've finally caught you my hooded hero! And YOU’RE GOING TO LOVE ME!!!”
DEAR SWEET ME! AND HERE I THOUGHT THE PINK ONE WAS HORRIFYING! screams a terrified Selena.
“Fluttershy snap out of it!” you plead.
“Oh why would I do that?! I've wanted to do very naughty things to you for a long time, and now I finally will!"
Blood shoots out your nose as you notice her wings stiff and pulsing like the fillyfooler's as she slowly approaches you, but you gotta remain strong,
"F-Fluttershy, hold on a minute, you know I'm not exactly the best pony. Hay, I'm not even a actual po-"
"I don't care!" Fluttershy declares as she wraps her hooves around you, "I don't care that you're a murderer, I don't care that you're a changeling, YOU! ARE! MINE!!!"
“C’mon Fluttershy, I mean you're REALLY cute and sweet and good with Nightsh- Look, the point is REALLY think about this!”
“Oh I have thought about this for a long time.” She says as she pulls down your scarf and face mask, “Don’t worry, you can move in with me, I’ll help you raise Nightshade, and you can give me a baby, then MORE BABIES! Starting now!” she declares before kissing you with enough force to knock you both to the ground,
Oh dear Luna! Even sweet Fluttershy has fall... Woah, she's a GREAT kiss- NO!!! VERY BAD Bug...
Your resistance crumbles under Fluttershy's iron grip holding you in place and the power of her stare as your resistance starts to crumble. Fluttershy suddenly breaks off the kiss and says to you,
“Oh and don’t worry about 'Selena', The girls and I will use the Elements on her and get rid of her for good! Then you’ll be mine! MINE!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!”
Lightning crashes behind her as she laughs manically, *snap* but you feel yourself get pushed back in your head as your eyes glow and Selena comes forth and roars,
“IN YOUR NIGHTMARES, B!$*#!!! *WHAM*” as she headbutts Fluttershy hard enough to send her smashing through the frozen ponies behind her like a bowling ball.
“Stupid cowardly strumpet, thinking she’ll steal MY daughter! I told you telling her about me was a bad idea! I have half a mind to disem-”
You manage to take back control before yelling,
“You didn't need to hit her! She’s not herself at the moment,” you look at the other ponies coming out of the effects of Fluttershy’s stare and coming at you as you put your scarf and face mask back up, “Noling is!”
With that, you start to bravely flee.
You come across a tall ladder and quickly climb up it causing the ladder to fall over the fence. You see another group of love-zombies incoming so you retreat back to the other end of the ladder. What results is a series of shenanigans that culminates in you being catapulted into Sugarcube Corner.
After stopping to briefly coo over and make funny faces for the Cake babies (who you crash landed IN FRONT of), you rush out of the bakery and grab a glass of orange juice sitting on a table as you dash past it. After you down the OJ mid-run, you see Apple Bloom being chased by some cured ponies.
Looks like she got caught breaking their stuff...
Thinking quickly, you go back to a classic,
"LOOK, A DISTRACTION!"
As the ponies pursing Apple Bloom turn around, you quickly grab her and continue running (jumping over Scootaloo who zips by on her scooter) when...
*CRASH*
Applejack bucks Flash through a window, causing the Pegasus to curse,
“Aggghhh Stupid Bucking Mud Pony!”
“WHOA! WHOA! WHOA!” you shout at him offended while covering Apple Bloom’s ears. “What the Buck!”
He realizes what he’s said and starts sweating nervously,
“NO NO NO! It’s because she’s covered in mud! It was the heat of the moment, I didn't mean it any other way, I swear!”
You just shake your head in shame at him as Apple Bloom takes this opportunity to distract Applejack with a smoke bomb.
“I’M NOT A SPECIEST! I’M NOT A SPECIEST I SWEAR!” he frantically tries to convince you. “Look- Woah.” he points to Aloe (who currently has Vinyl in a Jujutsu omoplata lock... and looking rather hot while doi- *spurt*) and says,
“See! That mare is hot! I don’t care that she’s an earth pony! I’d rut her any da-*bonk*!”
You bonk him upside the head as you say,
“First of all, snap out of it, we’ll deal with your irrational phobias later, and secondly, that is one of MY hot stalkers, get your own!”
“Yes, I AM HIS!” shouts Aloe as Vinyl continues to flail in Aloe's lock.
“In your dreams hussy!” Octavia yells before delivering a Karate kick to the masseuse's head, forcing her to let go of Vinyl.
Taking advantage of this distraction, you and Flash run off
Eventually you somehow managed to get yourself trapped at the Ponyville stage. You look around you in fear and panic as you see that everyling in Ponyville was here for your heart (besides those not infected or already cured). As you begin to think it's the end (again) you see Flash coming straight towards you (you both got separated after getting away from another hoard). He lands next to you exhausted as he says,
"There's... too many... of them! We can't break their stuff fast enough without two more popping up! We've already lost squads 2, 6, and 8 to the cured love zombies. Apparently they decided to break their parents stuff first."
You sigh as you ponder,
"Come on... there's gotta be some way to cure them all at once. But how..."*ding*!
You look at Flash in determination as you say,
"Flash, I've got a plan to snap everypony out at once. All we need is a microphone, your guitar, a drum-set and somepony who can play the drums."
"Oh Oh Oh! I know how to play the drums!"
You and Flash jump in shock as you both turn around to see...
Eventually your group teams up with Pinkie
Pinkie giving you a smile as she sits in front of a drum set that was not there before. As Flash tries to understand what's happening, you just nod your head (you'd wonder how she did it later, for now you've got your hind to save) as you say,
"Thank's Pinkie. Now both of you huddle up, here's the plan."
And with that you, Pinkie, and a still confused Flash huddle up together as you whisper your plan to them...
Smashing things aren't working fast enough! Use an anti-love musical number (with Flash on guitar) to break the spell.
Flash plugs his guitar into the set of microphones nearby as you pick up a mic that someling left on the ground after using duct tape to fix Pinkie's drumsticks. After smacking the mike a few times to make sure it worked, you motion for Pinkie and Flash to get into position. They nod their heads at you as they get ready to play, while all you can do is think,
What's better than breaking somelings stuff to make them fall outta love with you...
You then smirk slightly as you continue,
By playing a anti-love song for them of course!
With that you speak into the microphone,
"This song is dedicated to all you lovely mares and dashing stallions out there!"
The insane crowd roars as some of the love zombies begin to climb onto the stage. You quickly give the signal to Flash, to which he starts to play his guitar,
I wake up every evening
With a big smile on my face.
And it never feels out of place.
You give a big fake smile under your face mask and scarf. You know they can't see it, but it's the thought that counts. You then start to walk across the stage as you continue.
And you're still probably working
At a nine to five pace.
I wonder how bad that tastes?
Flash and Pinkie kick it up as you smile evilly as you sing right into the face of a few mares and stallions,
When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell!
Hope it gives you hell!
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell!
Hope it gives you hell!
As soon as you finish singing that verse, the hearts in their eyes fade away as they look around in confusion. You smile smugly as you nod to your success before you continue to sing (the music now becoming softer).
Now where's your picket fence love?
And where's that shiny cart?
And did it ever get you far?
As you sing, you see Aloe and Octavia in the front of the row. You walk on over to them (as more hearts start to disappear around you),
You never seemed so tense love.
I've never seen you fall so hard.
Do you know where you are?
And truth be told I miss you...
You're inches away from kissing Aloe (which causes Octavia's hearts to disappear) but you stop and smile cruelly as you sing,
And truth be told I'm lying!
You hear heart's shatter as Aloe returns to normal. You smile as you back up and continue to sing,
When you see my face,
Hope it gives you hell!
Hope it gives you hell!
When you walk my way,
Hope it gives you hell!
Hope it gives you hell!
If you find a stallion that's worth a dang and treats you well
Then he's a fool you're just as well
Hope it gives you hell!
Hope it gives you hell!
Thousand's of hearts start to shatter as ponies around you begin to return to normal. You, Flash, and even Pinkie smile at this as you continue,
Tomorrow you'll be thinking to yourself,
Where'd it all go wrong?
But the list goes on and on...
Now you see Fluttershy and Vinyl, so deciding to risen and repeat you walk over to them as you sing,
And truth be told I miss you...
Your inches away from kissing Fluttershy (which causes Vinyl's hearts to disappear) but you stop and smile cruelly (again) as you sing,
And truth be told I'm lying!
You hear heart's shatter as Fluttershy returns to normal. You smile as you back up and continue to sing,
When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell!
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell!
When you find a stallion that's worth a dang and treats you well
Then he's a fool, you're just as well
Hope it gives you hell!
Soon almost half the crowd is cured, but you soon see Applejack walking towards you, still under the love poison's spell. You smile sadly and give false tears (one of the few things you actually managed to do right back at changeling school) as the music dies down to a sad tune as you sing sadly,
Now you'll never see
What you've done to me
You can take back your memories
They're no good to me
And here's all your lies...
Applejack's hearts begin to crack as you hold her head in your hooves and you make her look at you (gently of course) as you continue,
You can't look me in the eyes
With the sad, sad look
That you wear so well...
As Applejack's hearts shatter, you suddenly hear a whistle and you see all the heartbroken ponies from the ice cream shop marching up the stage while chanting,
When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell!
Hope it gives you hell!
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell!
Hope it gives you hell!
When you find a stallion that's worth a dang and treats you well
Then he's a fool you're just as well
Hope it gives you hell!
You smile at them as you wrap up the song,
When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell!
Hope it gives you hell!
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell!
Hope it gives you hell!
When you hear this song and you sing along but you never tell
Then you're the fool, I'm just as well
Hope it gives you hell!
When you hear this song
I hope that it will give you hell
You can sing along
I hope that it puts you through hell!
And with that final lyric, all the hearts shatter to pieces. You, Pinkie, and Flash hive hoof as all the ponies return to normal. As you, Flash, and Pinkie walk off the stage, you get surrounded by the colts, CMC, and Nightshade (along with the mares from the picnic and the rest of the Deadly Five), but as the ponies begin to regain their senses, the CMC realize something...
“Oh No! We forgot about Cheerilee and Big Mac!” cries Sweetie Belle.
“Well we were kind of running for our lives.” Scootaloo points out.
“Ya, but who knows what they got up to while this was going on...” says Apple Bloom.
“I’m sure they’re fine, they couldn't have gotten into that much trouble could they?” Nightshade comments.
TROUBLE...
Cheerilee wakes up next to Big Mac in a room wearing a wedding veil. Big Mac stirs awake too and sees he’s holding Cheerilee. They both feel physically exhausted and awkward as they realize they're in a wrecked room,
“Ummm... hi?” Cheerilee says awkwardly.
“Hi...” he answers awkwardly.
“Uh... Big Mac... did we...”
“He looks down at the wrecked bed and then back to her,
“Eyup.”
She looks at the wedding veil,
“Did we get...”
He looks at the hoof rings they’re both wearing,
“Eyup.”
“Oh... OK... How?”
“You both were hammered on something or another and got hitched by Mr. Waddles (after Nightshade kicked him of course). Since you were pulling my house for some reason, you kind of just confiscated my bedroom” says Berry Punch as she sits in an easy chair sipping a bottle of Jack Spaniels.
“How... long have you been sitting there?” Cheerilee asks hesitantly.
She takes a swig of the bottle,
“Since the beginning” she says with a smirk, “Nice show for a pair of amateurs.”
“Whelp... those girls are grounded” says Cheerilee.
“Eyup.”
BACK TO YOUR LOCATION
Ignoring the lost in thought CMC, Twilight holds her head in pain as she asks,
"Oooohhh, what happened? Last thing I remember was looking for the Cutie Mark Crusaders."
You chuckle slightly as you say,
"Don't worry Twilight. Me and Flash found them. As to what happened to you all, well you see..."
ONE EXPLANATION LATER
"...And then you ask me what happened and here we are."
The group of ponies nod their heads at the information (while Big Red and Cheerilee arrive on the seen as well, awkwardly not looking at each other) as Aloe asks,
"So... the whole reason why we turned into love zombies, as you called them, was because your daughter wanted to get revenge on you for burning her Heart's and Hooves day cards?"
As most of the mares present glare at you, you chuckle nervously as you say,
"Yes, and in my defense I was just defending my baby from heartbreak. I didn't want my sweet little girl to go through the stages of heartbreak, so I stomped out the seeds before they had a chance to bloom."
Just as you think your about to get away with that explanation, you hear Nightshade say,
"Still, it doesn't give you the right to butt into my love life Daddy! Even if I did have any interest in dating (which I don't since I'm not even 2) I should have the decision if I want to date somepony or not. Besides, they were just Heart's and Hooves day cards, so give it a break."
You sigh, trying to keep your anger in, as you say,
"Honey, you have to understand that this holiday brings nothing but bad news. Just today the Loveocalypse happened! You can't say that this holiday doesn't cause trouble!"
Nightshade growls as she yells,
"This problem wouldn't have happened if you DIDN'T BUCKING BURN ALL MY HEART'S AND HOOVES DAY CARDS! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO BUTT INTO MY LIFE!"
You growl as you shout back,
"I'M YOUR FATHER! IT'S MY JOB TO BUTT INTO YOUR LIFE! I'M JUST TRYING TO PROTECT YOU!"
Nightshade glares at you as she shouts back,
"PROTECTING ME DOESN'T MEAN RUINING ANY CHANCES OF BEING FRIENDS WITH COLTS BY ACTING LIKE A PSYCHO!"
"HONEY, IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICE YET I AM A BUCKING PSYCHOPATH WHEN IT COMES TO PROTECTING MY FAMILY!"
The crowd, who has grown bigger as the argument got larger, doesn't know if they should awww at this or cringe at the argument,
You growl even more as you shout,
"I DIDN'T TAKE ON ALICORNS, HYDRAS, TERRORISTS, AND BUCKING FILLYFOOLERS JUST TO LOSE YOU TO SOME PATHETIC COLT WHO CANT KEEP IT IN HIS PANTS!!"
Several mares cover the ears of their colts or fillies in scandalized shock as Nightshade has steam coming outta of her ears as she says,
"WHAT'S SO BUCKING BAD ABOUT DATING. WHAT, AM I GONNA GET HUMILIATED IN FRONT OF A BUNCH OF PONIES AND LAUGHED AT?!"
As soon as this is said, Big Mac (and anypony else that heard your story this morning) gasp in shock and you freeze in place as the memories of that night return to you as Applejack says,
"She's got a point Suga-Mister Tennant. Nothing like that will ever happen to her like tha-"
Your hatred of the holiday reaching it's peak, you *snap*
"THAT IS BUCKING IT!!! EVERYPONY BURNS!"
In a rage, you quickly tear upon your trenchcoat in a way that lights all the Fuse Bombs and Molotov Cocktails on our Potion Sash as you whip out the Power Glove which crackles with fiery lightning born from your rage. This causes the nearby ponies to gasp and recoil in shock and horror as you derangely yell,
"Go to your room honey cause DADDY'S 'BOUT TO GIVE EVERY MOTHERBUCKER IN THIS BUCKING TOWN A REASON TO HATE THIS BUCKING HOLIDA-*WHAM*"
Big Macintosh's hoof slams into your jaw knocking you out cold as your body falls on the Potion Sash extinguishing the flames. When everypony looks at him in shock he shrugs and says,
"He asked me ta knock him out."
"I've never seen a case of Cardiac-Breakus this bad." Quacksalver says as he examines your unconscious form (and by that we mean he's trying to jam a telescope into your ear)
"Cardio-what?" multiple ponies ask asks
"Cardiac-Breakus. A disease marked by torn cardiac muscles, elevated grump levels, a hatred for Hearts and Hooves Day, and suicidal killing sprees in it's most severe stages. Anypony remember the Hearts and Hooves Day Massacre?"
Several ponies gasp in shock until Twilight chimes in,
"Uh... That was actually the result of a gang war between feuding Manehattan crime families that just happened to occur on that day."
"Oh don't be silly Twibright-"
"Twilight."
"Yeah, sure, whatever. I already gave him the prescription so the next step is sedating this patient until the holiday is over so the ice cream can freeze his torn cardiac muscles back together and the chocolate sweetens his attitude nerves." Quacksalver says as he digs through his bag (throwing away a bloody rose and a empty bottle of whisky).
"Okay..." Twilight says, uncertain of Quacksalver's competence... or sanity, "Well if you're going to sedate Mr. Tennant, you're going to need this." Twilight says before levitating over "Sedation Rule Book"
"Isn't that rather... extre-?"
"I... want to burn... everyli-ling in the, hive..." you mutter in your sleep.
"Nevermind."
Just as your unconscious body is going to get picked up, Caramel (still under the love poison spell) jumps at you and shouts,
"HUSBANDO!"
But before he reaches you, your unconscious body instinctively yells...
Yell, "DELETED!" at the same time as you teleport one unfortunate pony somewhere far away (preferably someone trying to do you bodily harm).
"EXTERMINATE!!!" as you blasts Caramel and teleports him Luna-knows-where before going limp again.
LUNA-KNOWS-WHERE
We see Caramel holding on to a rock as he dangles above a volcano screaming,
"WHY DOES STUFF LIKE THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME?!!! I DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING!!!"
BACK TO PONYVILLE
"Um... I think I see Sassaflash in the distance and she doesn't look too happy..." Fluttershy says.
Big Mac gulps before quickly grabbing your body and making a run for your shack, with Nightshade right behind him...
A FEW HOURS LATER, NIGHTTIME
"Ugh... somepony get the number of that train..." you groggily say as you slowly open your eyes as you hold your head in pain. You feel as if you got hit by Discord, the Deadly Five, Lighting Chaser, and Solar Flanks at the same time. You groggily look around the area you're in and realize you're back in your shack cot. You also notice that Nightshade is adorably sleeping cuddled against you like a kitten to its mother. You stare sadly at her as you think,
Oh Luna...I can't believe I actually argued with her in public. That was our first big argument. I... I should apologies to her now.
With that thought in mind, you softly nudge Nightshade as you say,
"Nightshade... sweety... time to wake up."
Nightshade's eyes slowly open as she looks at you in confusion as she asks,
"Daddy...? What do you need?"
SnapDrakeGames comment
"Honey, listen... I'm sorry for yelling at you in public... And trying to burn down Ponyville... And burning your Hearts and Hooves Day cards."
"Oh... Well I'm sorry for siccing all those ponies on you."
"...You know Nightshade," you say. "I think what I said about not butting into other ponies lives counts for me too. So tell you what. I won't butt into your love life if you don't butt into mine."
"Really Daddy?" Nightshade asks.
"When you're 18," you add.
"...Fair enough," Nightshade says causing you both to laugh.
After calming down, you ask,
"But out of all the ways you could have pranked me back. Why a love potion?"
"Well... Originally it wasn't a prank at all. I saw how sad you were about today and I thought getting you a mare would make you happy. Also I wanted a mommy..."
This causes Selena to become upset, and righteously so since she has never once directly interacted with her own daughter as she sadly says,
I suppose it’s natural, I haven’t exactly been the best mother... she’s never even spoken to me...
Feeling empathy for Selena, you decide to let Nightshade know the truth,
“Listen Honey, your mother is in my head.”
“I know, you remember her always, but I...”
“No, she’s literally in my head.”
W-What are you doing?!
“I... I don’t get it.” Nightshade says in confusion.
“Honey, I need you to go to sleep and come into my dreams, you remember how to do that?”
“I... I think so, Daddy what’s going on?”
“You’ll find out, here look at this honey, I’ll be with you shortly.”
With that, you use the Luna Plushie...
DREAMSCAPE
You “Wake up” in the dreamscape and see Selena, worry on her face as she asks,
“What are you doing?!”
“I’m letting my daughter see her mother.”
“But... I thought you didn't wish for her to know of me...”
“You’re upset, this is the answer. If there’s anypony who has the right to know, it’s her. Besides, here’s your chance to make a first impression.”
“Daddy?” asks Nightshade
"Hi Honey, there's someling I'd like you to meet."
Selena turns around and gulps. Just as Selena's about to say something to her daughter, you all hear a cold, distorted voice say,
"Well well well, looks like the whole fake family is here. Who would have thought the thing I despised most would get that food-hogging brat to meet her supervillain mommy."
You three all gasp in surprise at the voice as you all turn around and see...
A figure in a half-torn Nobody cloak (the back is torn off, while the hood is still attached) just like yours with eyes glowing bright yellow. And there's darkness coming off him. Not like your Nightmare cloak, just... shadow. He also has your Cutie Mark, but with the colors reversed. For some reason you fear this creature even though you don't know who or WHAT it is. You stare at this creature in fear and shock as you ask in fright,
"Wha... who are you?"
The look-alike chuckles darkly as he looks towards the as he says,
"Heheheheheh... just how dumb are you? Wait, don't answer that cause I already know the answer. Well, I guess I'll just tell you. You see..."
The figure throws back his hood to reveal... you?
Wait, not you. I mean he looks like you; a changeling with the same orange spiky hair and build you have, but with glowing yellow eyes. He stares at you intently with his bright yellow eyes as he continues,
"I'm you and you are me. We're one and the same, you and I. I'm your Shadow!"
You, Nightshade, and Selena stare at... Shadow You in shock as you think,
What... what is this!?
What do you do?
Whoa! Kissing?! Shadow Bugze?! Nightshade and Bugze got into a fight?! WHAT'S GOING ON?!
Anyway Hive Mind, Shadow Bugze is going to be based on the Shadows from the Persona Series, more specifically the Persona 4 game. If you don't know what this is then heres the wiki. Also, here's a example of a Shadow scene from the read the wiki first before you watch this clip form the anime
Now last chapters question answer is...
All of them!
Seriously, all the answer's given were perfect examples of love gone wrong (personal faveorite's I hate for even thinking their love being 50 Shades of Grey and the Spongebob episode (seriously bucked up that one).
Today's question is...
What are your reactions to this episode?
Come on, one of you has got to have given one funny or strange reaction to one of the things in this chapter, why not tell me? BYE!
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I was laughing at first, and then I was too shocked. The last scene with Nightshade made me go 'aww' before the shadow came.
Let's kick his ass in triple-team!
EDIT: Oh, and I forgot:
You use 'buck' as 'rut'.
"Wait, if you are part of me...." you say as you pick up Shadow Bugze and levitate him toward you "Then that means you are also family"
"Group hug" you say as you then Selena and Nightshade wrap your hooves around Shadow Bugze.
"I'm gonna call you uncle Shadow" Nightshade says.
5655837 fighting Shadow Bugze may be a bad idea because of a possibility of causing his personality to split.
Instead, he should accept Shadow Bugze and whatever memories he has.
5655855 But in Persona it was possible to fight the shadows...
Question bombard him so that Shadow can't talk.
5655857 what would happen if Nightshade played the game and knew what a Persona is?
Bugze meets again the Drunk 'Bro' guard and this time he is out for revevange. Plus he seems to have a bandage on his left forelegg
HEY BRO -Shouts the Bro guard...
oh no -Bugze whispers
YEAH Bro Fight me like Real Stallion -Drunk Behemoth Bro guard
CANT you just go back to the Tavern? -bugze Shouted at the Brunk ''guard'' Wonder why he hasn't been fired from the guard yet...
BRO Do you Even lift? And Why are you a CHANGELING -Drunk stupid guard
Bugze decides he needs to Go away quickly... Throw him in Da River
MY REACTION IS
YEEEEEEEEEEES FINALLY A DOCTOR WHO THING TO DO WITH DALEKS
AND
OMG NIGHTSHADE NEVER KNEW HER MOM?
AND
A SHADOW? I LOVE DARKNESS!
This track should more or less sum up the chapter.
5656027 Nightshade would be in this case the jack of all trades
"If you're really me, what's my favorite food?"
"Peanut Butter, banana, and bacon sandwiches after Grandbuggy snuck us into a Rock-and-Roll themed Minotaur restaurant and we fell in love with the crispy bacon, sliced bananas, and creamy peanut butter between two slices of bread grilled in bacon fat."
"Okay... What's Nightshade's favorite food?"
"Any type of ramen or a whole bag of sugar."
Insert more questions...
"First of all, this place is a little too crowded..."
With that, Shadow Bugze uses FUS RO DAH to blast Selena and Nightshade away.
Shadow Bugze is your opposite right? So he says;
"Don't act so surprised, we met before after the pink psycho's party."
"Uh..."
Shadow Bugze looks at you in deadpan disbelief before saying,
"The party where you foolishly apologized for calling her the pyscho that she is."
"..."
"Uh... I tied you to a chair."
"..."
"Oh for the love of..." he snorts in annoyance before a yellow-version of the changeling flames appear and he turns into the headless pony from that nightmare ("Episode 26: I NEED A ADULT!")
"OH SWEET LUNA!" you yell in shock, "YOU'RE THAT HEADLESS PONY!!!"
"Nooooo, YA THINK!!!" he yells in annoyance.
"B-But how?!" you demand in panic.
I'm a CHANGEling you stupid motherbucker! It's in our bucking name!!! Wait, scratch that."
He changes back into you before smugly continuing,
"It's in MY name as you can't even pull that off.
"And what would your crazy coot of a grandbuggy say?!"
You get angry and yell,
"OI! Don't talk about my grand-"
"Wait, I do KNOW what he would say!"
Shadow Bugze then changes into Grandbuggy before taunting,
"*&@%. What the buck is WRONG with you! You got more mares than I ever banged lusting for you and you HAVEN'T rutted them all 42 rounds each by now! Are we even related?!"
"Wh-What?"
"Just the masseuse and athlete ALONE would have made for one hay of a threesome ya limp-horned idiot!"
"Masseuse and athelete? Oh, you mean Aloe and Rainb-*spurt*"
The image of what 'Shadow Bugze/Grandbuggy' is pointing out flashes in your mind and disorients you before you counter,
"B-but, I'm saving it for marriag-"
"Marriage?! Hah!", he changes back into you before taunting, "Those whorses don't even like YOU. They want to rut either the bad colt Hooded Offender or this 'Bullspit' person you made up. Who in their right mind would ever want to be AROUND a quarter-breed zombie mess of a freak like you without squashing you on sight!"
-Shadow Bugze claims that Nightshade and that "vow to Luna to be good" are all horesapples AND the source of all your problems and states that if you were smarter you would have used your power to get stinkin rich and live the high life of scarfing down sweets while playing the latest video game in a mansion somewhere.
When you wake up you decide to shake off that experience by getting to work, but run into the Mane 6/harem when you leave the shack while Applejack and Rainbow Dash are arguing (again),
"I kissed him first!" Rainbow Dash insists.
"Hold on there, partner, Mr. Tennant had his mask on when he kissed you. I kissed him WITHOUT the mask in the way!" Applejack counters.
"You were brainwashed by a love potion so that doesn't count!"
As the other mares keep their distance (some rolling their eyes while Fluttershy is blushing furiously as she tries to shrink away while muttering "Um... Well... Even if it as a love potion he kissed me back..."), Twilight tries to interrupt,
"GIRLS! Now is NOT the ti-"
"Wait, ah figured out how ta settle this." Applejack says,
"You thinking what I'm thinking?" Rainbow Dash counters with a determined smirk.
"Eyup."
They both turn to you and demand,
"Who's the better kisser?!"
You get SUPER-nervous now that all eyes are on you (and Selena is of no help either as she's also debating who is better) until Nightshade obliviously comes to your rescue by pointing out,
"Why are you asking Daddy? You were kissing each other so shouldn't you know that already?"
Que intense blushing/stammering from AJ and RD while the rest laugh.
The mares said they've found out why you hate the holiday so much and feel bad for you, but you brush it off by saying that you've more-or-less gotten used to despising that holiday and add that Grandbuggy knocks you out every "Hearts and Hooves" Day so that you don't go on a (another) pyro rampage.
Receive a mysterious packet in the mail with the words "Thanks bro" on it. You get annoyed and as you open it say,
"I swear if I see just ONE more Hearts and Hooves day card I'm gonna-"*spurt*
And the packet contains several... nosebleed-inducing pictures of the Hearts and Hooves fiasco (including Aloe in the middle of putting Octavia in a flying armbar, Rainbow Dash and Applejack in an... intense part of their make-out session, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy kissing you (fortunately, their lips cover your changeling mouth so nopony knows you're a changeling), and your unwanted harem in a mass mud wrestling brawl).
The mares and harem get angry at you and you defensively say the pictures weren't taken by you until Nightshade chimes in,
"They were probably taken by Rumble's brother."
"WHAT?!" everypony says as they turn to the filly.
"Yeah, Rumble says his brother is a bit mare-crazy and keeps magazines with mares wearing little pieces of clothing under his mattress."
Seeing an opportunity to get the mares off you (and remembering how that pervert didn't lift a hoof to help you from the love-zombies) you say,
"All in favor of kicking that lazy pegasus's flank, say aye."
"AYE!" The mares unanimously say.
Find a Hearts and Hooves day picture frame with your harem mares (Fluttershy, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Octavia, Vinyl, and Aloe) in it and think with a smile,
You know what? Maybe I don't hate Hearts and Hooves Day THAT much anymore...
Mt reaction: 1.Run Bitch! They Gonna Kill YOU!!!!t
2. DELETE! DELETE!
3. LOL threeway alert
4. Feels Incoming (the argument with his daughter)
5. (when shadow is revealed) Well, that escalated quickly!
Getting seriously annoyed by all the inappropriate references made. I'm in this for the comedy, not for sensual stuff. (counts as my reaction to this episode.)
Sorry. But if you could, please tone it down a little?
Try to get better information regarding this guy. Even if he says he's you, there's the possibility that he's lying, or else that he's telling you a half truth.
Walk up to him and say," Hey what's up Ling?"
Selena says," Greetings, strange one"
Nightshade says," Wow, now I have 2 daddy's!"
Shadow Bugze," ..."
My best reaction was when Fluttershy was about to do... things.
I fell out of my chair and spilled my coffee all over myself... worth it!
5656799
Nightshade's comment: lol to the max.
5656875
I will have to agree!
Answer: It was good, I give around 7 of 10
---------------------------
"Wait what? My shadow? How is this possible?" Ask Bugzee
The copy of Bugzee look to him and answer with a smile
"I am you, I am what you don't want to face, the side you try to supress and seal inside you, the side that is happy by causing evil, the side that hate your stupid friends and happy family, unlike you, the side that think that killing that stupid stallion that tried to use the name of the hooded offender is a great think, the side that, even if you don't want to admit, want to kill those Princesses" Say the Shadow
"What? I don't..." Tried to say Bugzee but the Shadow stopped
"Don't try to negate it, you know it's true, and unlike our friend here" He pointed to Selena "Im not a simple pushover that is happy just by doing nothing in a little side of your mind... And how much fun could you have if you just stop and admit it" Commented the shadow
"Fun?" Asked Bugzee
"Of course... I think the first we could do is visit our little shy pegasus friend, you know how much adult fun she could give us... Next could be that annoying Purple unicorn, just a saw and her magic will not become a problem... We could finish with Sunbutt, after we tell her what we did and give her the horn of her student as a present... She is going to pay for everything she did and tried to do to us" Commented like if it was nothing the shadow
Meanwhile, Bugzee and Selena face become green as they put their hoofs to not throw up, the only one that did seems to want to throw up was Nightshade that was a little confused about what was happening and did not understand really what the other Bugzee commented.
"How could you think something like that?" Ask Bugzee
"Ohh, Bugzee, Bugzee, Bugzee... You dissapoint me... Like I said, I'm you, all the evil you try to negate, all the bad things you don't want to think and try to seal... I AM YOU" Shout the Shadow looking to Bugzee
"And yes, I know what you are thinking, If I am you, and Nightshade is your daughter... Yes, she also have a evil side, but maybe she don't really need to seal it..." Commented Shadow Bugzee
"What do you say Nightshade? Are you not hurt that your daddy never tell you about your mommy? That he don't let you use all your powers? All the fun you could do, and he even force you to go to school with that stupid teacher and hide your wings... Who need a teacher? Is not like we really have one at the hive... Come to the dark side Nightshade... We have cookies and we could do what we want without worry, we can even kick the ass of Sunbutt... What do you think?" Ask Shadow Bugzee
"Go Away from my daughter!!! No-Shadow Kick!!" Shouted Bugzee as he tried to hit the Shadow Bugzee
"Come On... It's that all? No-Shadow Kick!!!" The shadow Bugzee answered with another movement and both of them ended with their moves neutralized returning to the same position
"We are the same Bugzee, you know that it's not going to work... Nothing to say, I asked Nightshade... She can decide for herself... Or are you going to decide over herself again like with the Heart And Hooves cards?" Asked Shadow Bugzee
Bugzee try again with a Falcon Punch, but it's the same, before he could do something, Luna appear from a strange hole
"Tennant, At last I find you... You don't know how hard is to find your dreams, sometimes I find somepony dreaming is Nightmare Moon and... Wait... Two Tennant? And Two Nightmare Moon? What strange dream is this?" Ask Luna
After Bugzee explain a little what happen, Luna look to Bugzee
"You need to Wake Up" Say Luna looking to Bugzee
"Say, What?" Ask Bugzee
"The battle with your dark self is not a battle you have to battle now" Say Luna
"Of course you say that Luna... Be a chicken Bugzee, do the simple thing, obey like a good pony, like a good changelling... Of course Luna is afraid" Say Shadow Bugzee
"Thou don't know what you say, we are not afraid" Shout Luna in Royal Canterlot Voice
"Of course you are, after all you tried and you failed... You failed because you are a chicken and weak, because of that, Nightmare Moon take control... But don't worry, Bugzee... Wake Up! Be a chicken, I can wait to next time, and the time after that, and the time after that..." Laughed Shadow Bugzee
Meanwhile Luna looked sad and then to Selena and Nightshade, tried to say something but in the end she could not speak.
...
After that Luna looked to Shadow Bugzee and angry shouted
"You forced me... I tried to be a good Princess but you forced my hoof... I will have to use... 'That'" Exclaimed Luna
"No... No please, don't you use 'that' Please!!!" Exclaimed Selena
Bugze, Shadow Bugzee and Nightshade looked to them confused
"What the buck is 'That'?" Asked at the same time Nightshade and the Bugzee's
Luna horn begin to glow and after a smoke screen, a strange banana appeared
"It's a Peanut Butter Jelly Time... It's a Peanut butter jelly time... It's a..." The banana begin to shout and dance at the same time
"Gaaaaahhh" Shouted Selena
"Nooooo!!!!" Exclaimed the two Bugzee
"Everypony save yourself" Shouted Nightshade
And then, they begin to flee each one to one direction
---------------------------
Maybe it's a little extreme, but it's how I imagine this "Shadow Bugzee"
I read this chapter and what little brain cells were left from the last chapter exploded with the force of Krakatoa combined with an extremely angry Bugze, all to the power of Rainbow Power squared.
But on the outside, my reaction was just 'meh'
Mere words cannot describe my reaction to this chapter, so
You ask again in confusion
“What are you? Are you me?“
What are you? Are you me?” he says in a mocking tone before laughing crazily. “You sound like a jerk!”
“Why are you doing this?” you ask.
“Oh you wanna know? Because the answer’s easy…I’m Bad Bugze, and you’re good Bugze…you’re a goody little horse shoes.”He then starts dancing in front of you singing “Little goody horse shoes, little goody horse shoes…”
“What the bu…” you try to say before he punches you in the face while still singing.
“Little goody horse (punch in the gut) shoes! Little goody (punch in the face again) Horse shoes!” he then starts laughing again before punching you in the gut once more.
You get annoyed by this and whip out your power glove, hey it’s your dream and shock him right in the face sending him flying after he says “goody little horse shoes” once more.
“Good, Bad, I’m the Bug with the Glove”
Shadow gets up with an evil smile, (and a bit of melted face) and starts laughing, before wiping it off like it was nothing.
He looks to Selena
“Don’t you recognize me? I’m all you hoped I could be. I am the warrior you sought dear little Selly.”
“You do not get to call me that filth, Begone now!”
Shadow Bugze shakes his head.
“You used to be so much fun, pushing and pushing for the blood and violence…I loved hearing your voice, before his weakness rubbed off on you”
“How wouldst though love my hoof jammed down thine throat?!” shouts Selena.
“Tsk tsk, gotta work on your threats, they are as pathetic as you look.”
“Hey leave her alone! I think she looks Bucking Awesome!” shouts Night Shade, causing Selena to swell with motherly pride.
“Oh and by the way why are you here Nightmare Moon? Not that I’m complaining or anything, but just curious” she asks.
“Well…I…you see…” Selena stammers
“We’ll…talk about that afterwards baby. Let’s focus on the evil me right now!” you shout.
When Shadow Bugze lets slip how Nightshade is the daughter of Selena she gasps.
“Whoa Whoa Wait a Minute!” she looks to Selena, “You’re my mommy?”
Selena sighs, “Yes Nightshade, I am your mother, I wish we could’ve talked about this under better circumstances, but yes, I am…”
“Wow, I can’t believe Princess Luna is my mom!” shouts Nightshade in excitement.
Selena freezes up with a look of shock on her face, not saying anything while you gulp in fear.
“Oho, that’s gotta hurt,” Shadow Bugze gloats “So how does it feel?...’Luna’”
SNAP
“AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!” Selena shouts in anger as she rushes Shadow Bugze and starts pummeling his face, startling you and Nightshade.
“The Buck? Why is she so…”
“Ya, listen honey,” you say as you put an arm around her, “Let’s not be using that L word around her OK?”
“But why?”
“Because she’s not Luna, and she kind of hates her.”
“But…that’s who Nightmare Moon is right?”
“Kind of, but not really. She and Luna were her together or something…, look it’s a long story, most of which I still don’t even know. Basically, she’s not really Luna nor Nightmare Moon completely, her name is Selena and she is your mother. There’s more but we’ll tell you all about it after we take care of Uncle Shadow over there.”
“OK.”
“I will gut you and feast on your entrails you bucking maggot!” shouts Selena as she strangles Shadow.
“Haha, that’s the spirit” taunts Shadow.
“She’s so bucking cool,” Nightshade says with a squee watching her mother work.
Maybe the way to defeat him is doing the opposite of what he is, “violence and death” Maybe you can kill him with love and affection
After defeating your Shadow, he starts laughing crazily
“Buck off already!” You shout at him.
“Ha ha ha ha, oh this is rich, you actually think you’ve won? I’ll always be here. Always…” he reaches out at grabs your hoof
“Every battle, every thought that you have, I will be there. The Crimson Knights, Discord…TRIXIE! You will listen to me then. There will be blood, oh yes…there will be blood…” he then continues to laugh as he melts into the darkness.
“Well I’m glad that’s over with,” says Nightshade.
“Me too baby, me too…” you say.
“Beating someone who looks like you senseless was very therapeutic for me, perhaps we should do it again sometime?” says Selena with a smirk.
You just roll your eyes but Nightshade giggles a bit.
“Heh heh he…soooo anyway, now that that is over, why don’t we try this whole reunion thing again” you suggest.
“Ahem…very well. Hello Nightshade I am your mother…”
“Hello Mom…I am your daughter?”
The conversation seems kind of stilted so Nightshade drops all precinct.
“Oh what they hay, MOMMY!!!” Nightshade yells as she wraps her arms around Selena’s neck.
She is shocked at first before her eyes begin to water and she wraps her own legs around her daughter.
“It is good to finally hold you my precious daughter.”
“Ya, I feel the same…Mommy…I have a kickflank mommy!”
You watch this heartwarming moment for a bit, almost makes you forget about your own personal “Dream Doctor”…almost. Speaking of that, you can probably ask The Doctor him about how he keeps his at bay when you next see him. Eventually Nightshade and Selena break their embrace.
“Oh boy, I have so many questions for you. First things first, WHY AM I ONLY JUST NOW MEETING YOU?!” she shouts
“I-well…Your father felt it best not to let you know of my existence. He and I haven’t always gotten along, and I have been trapped in his mind ever since your birth.”
Nightshade gives you a stink eye.
“Hey, don’t go blaming everything on me” you pout
“But rest assured Nightshade, both your father and I love you very very much.”
“OK, So are you the reason Daddy hulks out and smashes things when he’s angry?”
“I…yes. I am the cause” Selena admits.
“Oh…well thanks for all the times you kept us safe then,” she says with a smile before turning serious again, “But could you maybe turn it down sometimes? I don’t like when Daddy keeps hurting everling.”
You and Selena shudder remembering Fillydelphia, “I have been trying my dear, I have been trying.”
Nightshade smiles and nods at this.
“How come you’re trapped in daddy’s head?”
“Because I have no physical body to go into. Your father is the only reason I am still alive” she says with sincerity and thankfulness.
“Can’t you like make a new body or something with magic?”
A strange horrified look crosses Selena’s features that only you notice as she stutters
“NO! No…it doesn’t work like that!” she says as she looks nervous.
“Oh, dang…well we can figure something out, right daddy?”
“Uh…” you look to Selena “Ya, I’m sure we can figure that out eventually.”
“Awesome! Oh, I can’t wait to show you off to everyone. My Mommy is definitely tougher than all their’s combined, and she’s a Princess…*gasp* which means I’m a princess too!”
You both calm your hyperactive daughter down and break the bad news.
“Honey, you can’t tell anyone about your mother.”
“Awww why not?” she pouts
“Because our lives will be in even more danger should you go…” she looks at you with a sneer “spouting out my existence to others.”
"Hey it was only one, she's trustworthy"
"Yes, until her FlutterB!$%# persona comes through again" she counters
"OH what are the chances of that?"
Somewhere in a Labyrinth a Minotaur is inspired by Madame Irony
“OK fine I won't tell…even though I really want to...oh and how was I born if you're stuck in daddy's head?”
"Ya...how did that happen?" you ask her.
She looks around nervously before saying, "I'll tell you when you're older"
"AWWWWW" both you and Nightshade grunt.
Selena looks to you and says, "I will tell you eventually."
You feel yourself being shook awake in the real world.
“Uh-Oh, I’m waking up, you girls better wrap up quick.
“Oh, but I have so much more to ask. Can I visit you every time I go to sleep?” she asks.
“Maybe not all the time, but yes, you may, and I may visit you should you rest close to your father.”
“OK, see you tonight mom!”
You start to wake up to Big Red shaking you, but not before you hear Selena say to you “Thank you.”
"Bugzy,I am your fathe- I mean, Shadow."
"That's not true! That's impossible!" You yell defiantly at the shadowy figure before you. "I'm nothing like you."
"Oh really, are you so sure? Search your feelings; you know it to be true." it says in a gravelly, distorted, and droning voice "I think you'll find we have much more in common than you think. I'm the Bugzy who you always could have been, the Bugzy you still want to be. I have everything, I do as I please, Equestria bows down to me, and everyling accepts me or they feel my wrath! I even have a nice little harem of beautiful mares, gamer mares, at my beck and call. And all it took to get all that... was to put down a few problems that kept popping up." the Shadow gives a demented smirk "I believe you know their names... Twilight, Celestia and her Sister, Shining, as well as a few obnoxious others here and there."
"W- what? You killed them?"
"That's right. And I enjoyed it, just like you enjoy it. It's so much easier than trying to be a hero."
"No. NO, you're wrong! I'm not like that, and I don't want to be like you!"
The Shadow keeps on smiling as it replies. "No... you wanted to be a hero, right?."
"That's right!" you shout at it the imposter "I swore to Luna that I'd be a good bug, to protect those who couldn't protect themselves!"
"So... how's that working for you?" This catches Bugzy off guard and the Shadow continues. "How many lives have you actually saved compared to those you've destroyed, huh? If you were a hero, these ponies would love you, and yet they hunt you down like a beast. You're not a hero, and you never were; you're nothing but a monster and a heartless killer. But that's okay! You want to know why it's okay?"
"Okay, sure! Enlighten me on why anything that comes out of your bucking mouth is okay!"
"Because you never even wanted to be a hero, not really. It was all just a lie you told yourself to cover what you really wanted. The thing you wanted since you were a little squirming outcast in the hive that everyling always picked on." the Shadow sneers "You wanted to belong. To be accepted and loved. But that will never happen."
"N-no... you're wrong." you try to shout, but manage in little more than a whisper "I have friends, ponies who care about me. Fluttershy, Cadence..."
"Abandoned or tried to take advantage of you. You are all alone; no one cares about you, and no one ever truly will. You will never know love, Bugzy; you will never know friendship." the Shadow speaks in its harsh whispering voice as Bugzy shakes his head and tears spill down his cheeks "Unless... you take it. Stop pretending to be something you're not. Stop trying to please those who will always hate you, and dominate them with fear instead, a fear only you could weave into their very souls. Cast aside the mantle of a hero noling wanted, and take your place as an overlord that they will either accept... or they will... Diiiiieeeeee."
"NO!" you yell in a sudden burst of fury and punch the Shadow away "I am not a monster! I don't want to rule like a tyrant! And I will NEVER, EVER kill anyling ever again! I will nnever be like you, because you. Are. NOT. ME!"
======
Also, maybe sometime in the fight have his Shadow start talking about all the mares Bugzy likes, only it focuses solely on their bodies instead of their personalities. And when the Shadow starts getting to the naughty bits, it doesn't stop so the real Bugzy has to shut it up while yelling "NO, BAD BUG! VERY BAD EVIL BUG!"
Oh, and I loved every single bit of madness in this chapter
Quick Question though, How did Flash Escape? One minute he's tackled by Twilight and Bugze laments, then he's kicked through a window by AJ.
I read the first 1000 words or so
TOO HOT
TOO HOT
OH MY GOD
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Chaos, wonderful chaos...
Oh. Oh no. How entirely unexpected. What a shocking twist.