[FIXED] Episode 4: Castle Exploring Time 2: Stealthy Visit!
First, think of what you know won't work:
-The MGS box has failed you 3 for 3 so it's out.
-Applejack can sense changeling disguises so knocking out a guard and taking his/her identity probably won't work.
-Calling out your moves in combat: Good. Calling out your moves while sneaking... not so much (learned that the hard way when you tried to infiltrate a temple of ninja mules by dressing up like pirates and doing a musical number about how stealthy you are... In broad daylight... During a weapons demonstration... While masters from other temples were visiting. Understandably, it wase first (and only) time your ex-Queen ever allowed you to lead a squad)
You decide to go over everything you know won't work in sneaking into the castle.
Let's see, the Metal Gear Solid box has failed three to three now so that's out (plus I don't see any boxes or crates anywhere nearby). I doubt Twilight cast that changeling detection spell on Applejack considering that I'm 'dead', but I'll play it safe for once and I won't disguise myself as anyling here. Also, calling out my attack moves in combat: good. Doing that while sneaking around: Not so good. Learned that the hard way...
A couple of years ago, you lead a squad of changelings to infiltrate a temple of ninja mules by dressing up like pirates and doing a musical number about how stealthy you are... In broad daylight... During a weapons demonstration... While masters from other temples were visiting. Predictably it all went to Tartarus really quickly (you somehow got a pair of nunchuku, a sai, a katana, a few shrunken, and even a staff lodged into several parts of your body) and your ex-Queen had to personally come in and save your dumb flank. Understandably, it was the first (and only) time your ex-Queen ever allowed you to lead a squad in the field.
My teleport is worthless unless I feel like popping up in, I don't know, in a space station over run with a alien slave species that are controlled by a giant devil monster. So that knocks off... pretty much all my stealth skills besides my unexplained Pony's Creed-style parkour skills and- that's it. Now what can I do?
As you try to think of a way to sneak into the castle, you suddenly have a...
Remember another piece of sagely advice from your Gandbuggy.
"N-now 'hic' Bugshy, big ol' 'hic' plashes never gaurd za looooooosh...
And loooooosh mean 'hic' breweries, for full bladdersh. Now help me tie up my 'hic' parashute"
A flashback of your grandbuggys sagely advice...
"N-now *hic* %*^^$^, big ol' *hic* plashes never gaurd za looooooosh...
And loooooosh mean *hic* breweries, for full bladdersh. Now help me tie up my *hic* parashute so that I *hic* jump off this here cliff."
You never did understand what grandbuggy was trying to do. You and grandbuggy weren't even anywhere near a cliff! You were both inside the hive at the time and the "parachute" your grandbuggy was referring to was the queen's favorite pillow... at least what was left of it (let's just say grandbuggy really didn't like fluffy things and leave it at that). Of course you got this advice after your grandbuggy got drunk (he's almost as bad as you when he gets drunk... almost). But now you understand it... the 'sneaking into the castle though the brewery' part at least. So, with your new plan in mind, you hop out of the bush you where in and begin to stealthy sneak around the courtyard to look for a entrance to the "brewery".
5 MINUTES LATER
After five minutes of searching, you finally found the entrance to the "brewery" at the back of the castle. You use the term loosely because when you got in by sneaking in though a cellar door, instead of finding barrels of liquor you found that the entire room is filled to the brim with coffee. When you got out though another door on the other side of the room that led into the castle, you found a sign that read...
"CAUTION: PRINCESS LUNA IS NOT ALLOWED IN HERE, KEEP HER OUT AT ALL COSTS! FAILURE TO KEEP HER OUT WILL RESULT IN DESTRUCTION TO THE PALACE AND BODILY HARM TO THE PRINCESS BODY!"
When you read that you could't help but think,
What the?... Is Luna addicted to coffee or something?
You also couldn't help but think of this image and laugh like a maniac at it. After you're done laughing at the image, you begin to use your Pony's Creed skills as you begin to look around for the room full of window paintings. You look to your left to see a really long hallway, to your right is... another long hallway. You sigh as you look in front of you to see... another stinking long hallway! You sigh again and decide to use the best way to decide which way to go,
"Eenie meenie miney moe...."
12 MINUTES LATER
Your ingenious plan of deciding which way to go has led you to choose the left hallway. however as you're sneaking around, you...
While you walk through the castle and sneak through the corridors on the way to the hall of triumphs (that's what I'm calling that room with all the stained glass windows), you hear a splash. looking down you notice a large pool of water forming, as well as a lot of commotion coming from further down one of the hallways.
Deciding to see what's up, you find a mouse in a wizard's cap doing battle with an army of walking brooms as they poor water all over the floor.
Step in a puddle of water?
"What in the name of Luna?"
You look down in confusion as you see that the hallway is now flooding. Deciding to see what's going on, you follow the flow of the water to a closed door a little further down the hall. You are hesitant to open the door out of fear of getting soaked, but you bug up and open the door and see... a pony-sized mouse wearing a red robe and a blue wizard hat with white stars on it fighting off living brooms that have hands that are throwing buckets of water at the mouse. As you continue to stare, you can't help but mumble,
"What in the name of Luna am I seeing?"
You rub your eyes to see if you're imaging it all and when you look again you are saddened to see that you're still looking at the strange scene. Finally deciding that you've had enough of this strangeness and chalking it all up to whatever is causing all the other strange stuff that's been happening, you slowly turn around and whisper "Nope" as you quickly run away to the right hallway.
17 MINUTES LATER
Your Grandbuggery and his sagely advice rings in your ears
"Listen up Bugze, the best way to make everyling turn tail and abandon a place, like an amusement park or a castle, is to pretend to be a ghost, that way no one will bother you as you sneak about looking for treasure. As long as you don't run into any stoners, prom royalty, turtlenecked fillyfoolers or talking dogs, your plan will be foolproof. Damned kids and their dog, I would've gotten away with it too..."
The best way to cover your coat would be to find the royal kitchen (or any kitchen for that matter) and cover yourself in flour. That way if you are ever found out, you can claim to be the ghost of the Hooded Offender and scare everyone away. This plan is Genius!!!
You find yourself opening another door along the right hallway. You've been doing this stealthy for awhile now, hoping to find the hall full of window art the Doctor told you to meet him at. The door you just opened appears to lead to the royal kitchen. As you scan the room for any useful items, you spot a bag of flour in the corner of the room. Suddenly you get a great idea as some more of your grandbuggy's advice comes back to you...
"Listen up Bugze, the best way to make everyling turn tail and abandon a place, like an amusement park or a castle, is to pretend to be a ghost, that way noling will bother you as you sneak about looking for treasure. As long as you don't run into any stoners, prom royalty, turtlenecked fillyfoolers, or talking dogs, your plan will be foolproof. And I would have gotten away with it too, if it hadn't been for those meddling kids..."
Yeahhhh... you had to bail your grandbuggy out of jail for, and you quote "disturbing the peace by dressing up as a ghost and scaring hatchlings away from the park so that he could dig up old bug Mack's buried treasure" and you had a hard time explaining to your ex-queen's royal guards on where he got the flamethrower. Anyway, deciding to take your grandbuggy's advice you walk over to the bag of flour, pick it up, and after whispering a 'sorry' to your cloak, you dump the whole bag on your head. After looking into a nearby mirror to see if it worked (and it did as you recoiled in fright from your ghostly reflection) you continue looking for the window art hallway.
10 MINUTES LATER
Use your knowledge from Pony's Creed to sneak around the castle without getting caught! However, when you try to jump into a hay barrel the hay doesn't cushion you as much as it does in the game... Ow!
You are walking towards another door, when you suddenly hear hoof steps coming towards you. Thinking quickly, you run towards a nearby open window and dive out of it. You did this because you saw a pile of hay at the bottom of the three floor drop. You smile as you approach the hay barrel knowing it will be a soft landin-
*BONK* "Ow!"
You say in pain as you land on your face. You slowly get up as you mumble angrily,
"I refuse to believe that this wouldn't work in real life, so I will blame lady luck until someling tells me otherwise."
When you finally get up, you begin to head back to where you think the cellar entrance to the 'brewery', but as you're walking back, you look up and see...
Sneak around the castle until you see the stained glass windows from the outside. They're sort of high off the ground, so shoryuken yourself up there. As you gaze at the windows from the outside, you think for a second that the paintings on the windows seem to be moving. As you walk along the rooftop, trying to get a closer look, you accidentally slip and slide friendly towards the window. Bracing for impact, you crash through the window and find yourself starting at six surprised mares and one shocked Sun-goddess. You just stare back.
"Well, excuse me, I was just trying to deliver some exposition here," a distinctive voice snaps. You turn toward the voice to see a Dragon-like creature with assorted body parts from other animals (post a link here or something) starting at you from the stained glass. "Oh my," he says as he suddenly gets an idea. "You wouldn't happen to be the hooded offender, would you? I've heard a lot about you during my imprisonment. Aren't you just a brilliant little chaos-creator, not half bad for an amateur."
That the window art hallway is just a few feet away from you! You wonder how you missed that, but decide to worry about it later. For now you need to find a quicker way up there then the "brewery" way. You suddenly get a super dumb idea, but since your dumb ideas usually work, you decide to go for it. Putting your plan into action, you whisper "Psycho Crusher!" and send yourself spinning towards the windows. As you're heading towards the windows you swear you saw the paintings in the windows move, but you just shrug it off. But sadly for you, you realize the one flaw in your plan:
You have no bucking idea how to stop yourself. As you're about to hit the window you can't help but think,
I really hope the princess has insurance...
*crash* *shatter* *tumble*
"What the!"
"Oh my!"
"What in tarnation!"
"Is this a surprise!?"
"Sweet me!"
"Hey!"
As you look up from your crash, you see the Deadly Five, Fluttershy, and Celestia staring at you in shock and horror. You look at them in fear as you think,
Please tell me the whole "flour ghost" plan worked.
You're about to say something when you hear someling shout in annoyance,
"Hey, I'm trying to deliver some exposition here!"
You turn toward the voice to see a Dragon-like creature with assorted body parts from other animals looking at you from the stained glass.
"Oh my..." he says with his annoyance turning into a look of mischievousness in his eyes. "You wouldn't happen to be the ghost of the Hooded Offender, wouldn't you? I've heard a lot about you during my imprisonment. Aren't you just a brilliant little chaos-creator, not half-bad for an amateur. Especially that little show you put on during the Bland Boring Ball, which was just delicious! Tell me, how did you create those wonderful tails?"
As you look at the creature in both awe and confusion, you can't help but think...
This is gonna be a long day isn't it?
Outro
What do you do?
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Shart... okay, you have 2 actions available, run like a panzy or attempt to scare them all.
Hiss like a deranged cat and tell them "I will haunt you until the end of time!". Then use psycho crusher to smash another window, getting you away.
Twilight glares at you in frustration. "Oh great! This is just what we need right now!" her voice dripping with sarcasm. "First the Elements get stolen by Mr. Mish-mash over here," she motions to Discord, who casually waves at you all "And then you show up! Why are you even here?! You were supposed to be deader than Batmare's parents!"
Rainbow chidingly shakes her head "Too soon Twi."
"Well... I umm... ya see..." you stammer as you try to think of an answer that isn't ridiculous. Then you remember your now white cloak and an idea dings on inside your head. "I aaaaamm a Ghost noooooowwww!" You say in your best spooky voice "Aaaaallll of yooooouuu are the reason I diiiiieeeed. And nooowww I must haunt you for aaaaaalll eternity (Except on weekends and holidays)."
Twilight stares blackly at you before breaking into a smirk. "Oh please. Do you honestly think anyone would believe-"
She is then cut off by her friends screaming in terror. She turns around and you look past her to see the re-mane 5 huddled together in fear. Pinkie in particular is throwing bars of silver and cloves of garlic at your general direction, and Fluttershy (bless her fragile heart) is crying while begging for forgiveness for partially causing your noble sacrifice.
But then Discord gets everyling's attention once more so they can focus on the things he wants to do. "Ahem! Like I was saying before I was so-" he pauses and spawns multiple copies of himself that say "Rudely interrupted!" matter-o-factly before disappearing once more. "To retrieve your missing Elements, just make sense of this change of events. Twists and turns are my master plan. Then find the Elements back where you began."
He vanishes, and in his wake is Zecora (now with a multicolored mane and coat), who looks around a bit and then holds up a score card reading an 8.5
okay first you accept discords compliment then you attack discord with the falcon punch if that doesn't work which it probably wont you run from the crazy god you just ticked off and find the doctor and run into luna
I'm pretty much like Erised the ink-moth but with the added part of psycho punching another window/wall/door and get out of there and continue on his journey with chances of bumbing into Luna/Cadence/random maid...
You decide to pull out a portal reference again. You turn your voice robotic.
"Wait, before I get pummeled by you all, I think this appearance does require some explanation. Let me give you the fast version. AndmethodicallyknockingpeopleshatsoffthenIaccountitforhightimetogettoseaasfastasIcan." You say that so quickly that noling but Pinkie and Discord can tell what you said.
"There, if you have any questions, just remember what I said in slow motion. Test on your own recognizance."
They all give you a weird looks.
"I'll be right back." You run out of the room.
"Oh, no you don't!" Rainbow yells.
You slam the door in her face, but she breaks through, smashing into a wall.
"This door must not be calibrated to someling of your generous... ness. You seem to have defeated it's load-bearing capacity. I'll just get going now." You run away.
"Why are you here? Why haven't you passed on?"
"Oh, uh, the Heavens denied my self-invitation because I caused so much chaos just by EXISTING. I've even tried going to Tartarus for how lonely being dead is, but they also left me out because they thought my bad luck is contagious. The nerve of them! I've spent months going up and down to get to the gates of both places, but they only turned me away without so much of a second glance! My misfortune is Lady Luck's fault! Curse her. So, I decided to spend the rest of my unlife enacting vengeance to all those who gave me so much suffering in my short life."
"H-how old were you?"
"@&."
"T-that's not even all that long!"
my reaction to the ninja pirates:
*looks to the non-existent audience* and that boys and girls is assassin's creed black flag the musical. well, time to ride on the nope train to fuckthatshitville. *Jumps out window*
To supplement SnapDrakeGames and Erised,
Brush off the talking dragon creature as just more of the weirdness and "haunt" the mares while keeping an eye out for the Doctor.
While you're haunting the Mane 6, you decide to have some fun by also claiming that you're especially going to haunt Applejack (for all the non-pony creatures she lynched because of her species-ism) and Rainbow Dash (for her "indecent lifestyle")... Unfortunately, this is also the first tip-off that you're not a real ghost as same-sex marriage is legal and not even taboo in Equestria and Applejack is not a species-ist
-Twilight also points out that ghosts should be able to phase through things instead of smashing them and you respond that you're still trying to get a grip on the whole spirit thing.
Fluttershy glomps you out of joy that you're alive (
awesome), but the others think she's tackling you and join in on the dogpile (
not so awesome). They all hastily get off you when you sarcastically comment how dogpiling the bug that went on a berserker rampage through all of them at the GGG probably isn't the best idea.
When Twilight tries to make you come with them, you're about to just fight your way out, but you see how frightened Fluttershy is (that and/or she asks you) and stick around only for her sake.
When you all get to the maze, you panic along with the rest of the mares at your horns and wings going missing (although Discord allows you to keep your wings after pointing out that you can't fly anyway).
Favorite Discord moment, his divide-and-conquer psychological breaking of the Mane 6. I love efficient cunning villains and that moment showed off his cunning
When in doubt, Ham it Up and speak spookily.
This goat lizard monster thing looks evil, try to shift the blame to him, which he will find hilarious and laugh.
You: Wooooooo....I am the ghost of the Hooded Offender...And I have come back with a warning!!!!
Pinkie: (Interrupting) You're not the Hooded Offender. His coat was black, you're white.
You: (Annoyed) Pink one, Shut Up! I'm a Freaking Ghost! Have you Ever Seen a Black Ghost Before?
AJ: Ya, that definitely sounds like him
You: Now I gotta Start Over....Wooooooo....I've come back with a warning!
Rainbow Dash: Do you really have to use that voice?
Pinkie: Ya, it's kind of annoying
(Something in your brain pops since she's the one who said it)
You: Fine! (Annoyed) I've come back to warn you about...
Pinkie: What's the Warning?!
You: Shut up for five seconds and I'll tell you!
Pinkie: Oops, Sorry.
You: I mean, it's bad enough you killed me, but now I can't get a word in edgewise!
Rainbow Dash: Ya Quiet Pinkie, I want to hear what ghost jerk has to say
You: Thanks...(Ahem) now beware of...
Pinkie: Is this it?
You: Alright that's it...you're all haunted!
Rainbow Dash: Oh great, thanks Pinkie!
Fluttershy: p-p-please....what is the warning?....
You: Oh, just beware of this guy, he seems dangerous
Twilight: Ya, we kind of already figured that out!
Everyone Agrees
You: Oh! Then my job is done. Got Ghostly things to do that way (point down hall) Toodaloo!
Run down the hall wailing like a ghost leaving the mane 6 and Celestia with the weird freak monster thing. You gotta find the Doctor.
And Favorite Discord Part?
ALL OF THEM
"...Gotcha!" You say as you bop Celestia on the nose with a flour-covered hoof, leaving a little behind as she stares at you, stunned. "Sorry I ran into you on the train ride here." You add to Twilight, forgetting that El Hunko and the Hooded Offender aren't supposed to know each other and therefore the Hooded Offender couldn't have known.
Best Discord moment? "What fun is there in making sense?"
*nunchaku *shuriken