Nightshade enters the classroom filled with multiple students. Some are idly chatting with one another or getting out their supplies for class. She sees the teacher, Mrs.Cheerilee, at her desk looking over what must be the lesson plan for today. She decides to talk with her first.
OK Night Shade, this day is going to be wonderful, but first, you have to have to go through the mental checklist your dad gave you.
1. Don't out your daddy as the Hooded Offender or a Changeling
2. No talking about the shenanigans you've both been through
3. Be nice and respectful to the teacher
4. Don't eat anypony's lunch but your own
5. STAY AWAY FROM COLTS!!! (You wonder why he growled that last one in anger)
6. Have fun.
As Nightshade walks into the schoolhouse, she begins to list off all the things her daddy told her just before he dropped her off,
Let's see, what did Daddy tell me again... oh yeah!
1. Don't out Daddy as the Hooded Offender or a Changeling... I wonder why though, he's really nice, and he's my super nice awesome Daddy!
2. No talking about the super cool adventures we've both been through, but I really wished I could tell my fellow Cutie Mark Crusaders...
3. Be nice and respectful to the teacher.
4. Don't eat anypony's lunch but your own *whine*
5. STAY AWAY FROM COLTS!!!... I wonder why though?
Nightshade sees Miss Cheerliee and walks over to her,
Nightshade stands in the front of the classroom as Ms. Cheerilee introduces her. "Good morning, my little ponies! We have a new student today, and she's just moved her from Appleloosa. Please welcome Nightshade!"
Nightshade smiles and waves. The CMC whoop and cheer, and the rest of the class claps politely. Except one.
Diamond Tiara scoffs. "With that vest, it's more like... NightSHAME."
Cheerilee stamps a hoof. "Diamond Tiara, we've gone over this. I will not tolerate-"
"Excuse me," Nightshade says, "what did she do?"
"She... um, Nightshade, she just insulted you. It's a bad habit of hers, and-"
"That wasn't an insult." Nightshade grins at Diamond Tiara. "Was it, you little **** licking &$#%? You look like bubblegum, but I bet you're the one that likes to !@#$."
The class gasps. Cheerilee is horrified. "Nightshade! We don't say those things in school!"
"But I was just teaching her what an insult was."
"Never again, young lady!"
"But I have so many more!"
Nightshade stands in the front of the classroom as Ms. Cheerilee introduces her,
"Good morning, my little ponies! We have a new student today, and she's just moved her from Appleloosa. Please welcome
Nightshade!"
Nightshade smiles and waves, the CMC whoop and cheer, and the rest of the class claps politely. Except one.
"With that vest, it's more like... NightSHAME." Diamond Tiara scoffs.
Cheerilee stamps a hoof and reprimands,
"Diamond Tiara, we've gone over this several times! I will not tolerate-"
"Excuse me," Nightshade interrupts, "what did she do?"
Cheerilee replies in concern,
"She... um, Nightshade, she just insulted you. It's a bad habit of hers, and-"
"That's what it was? That wasn't an insult..." Nightshade grins at Diamond Tiara before continuing, "Was it, you little bullspit-licking motherbucker? Now shut that c*** mouth of yours or I'll come over there and buckstart your head!"
The class gasps in shock and Diamond looks like a Hydra just roared in her face as Cheerilee is horrified.
"Nightshade! We don't say those things in school!"
"But I was just teaching her what an insult was!"
"Never again, young lady!"
"But I have so many more!"
"Enough! To your seat, now!" Cheerille commands, pointing a hoof sternly at your desk.
You find your three friends Applebloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle, and they take you through the basics. Basically what your dad said, except the no colts thing, even they don't understand that one, and they add a new one. Watch out for two fillies named Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. Apparently they're mean.
Remembering #3 of what her daddy told her, Nightshade grumbles under her breath as she makes her way to the desk, but cheers up when she sees that she's seated next to Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle.
Score! Nightshade thinks as the CMC look happy at this placement as well. While Miss Cheerilee briefly reviews something from last week, Nightshade (figuring that since she wasn't there yet, it doesn't apply to her) leans over and whispers,
"Hey. Who was that foal?"
Applebloom whispers back,
"That thar is Diamond Tiara. She's a spoiled brat who's father owns Barnyard Bargins and the gray filly next to her is Silver Spoon, her friend. They keep making fun of us for not having Cutie Marks."
"Those motherbuckers-"
"Oh, and ya'll may want to cool it on the swearing." Applebloom quickly interrupts "Sweetie Belle said that her sister washed her mouth out with soap before grounding her with no dessert for a week!"
"NO DESSERT FOR A WEEK?! THAT'S TERRIBLE!!!" Nightshade screams, grabbing the attention of everypony in the room.
"Is there anything else you want to say, Nightshade? And without swearing?" Cheerilee asks in annoyance.
"Uh... Nothing Miss Cheerilee" Nightshade says sheepishly before Cheerilee...
Once you've been introduced to the class, and scolded for trying to help a pony learn insults, Cheeriliee points you to your desk; it's right next to your new friends the Crusaders! Score! They're quite happy about this as well as you take your seat next to them. Then you notice the teacher grab some papers from her desk, and how everypony else gets nervous as she does.
"Alright class, time for a quiz!" Cheeriliee sing-songs, and the whole class groans, some letting their heads flop to their desks.
"Man, ah hate these stupid things." you hear Apple Bloom complain from your right as a piece of paper gets passed to you, a mess off numbers and marks all over the front.
"Alright kids, we have about twenty minutes to finish, good luck!" Cheeriliee moves behind her desk and starts grading papers.
You pull out a pencil and look at your paper... and look at it... and keep staring, but darn it it's not making any kind of sense! But you don't want to fall behind, so you raise your hoof in the air; that's what you do when you have a question, it's what your daddy told you. But the teacher doesn't notice as she face-hoofs over one students homework. Looking around you see Scootaloo on your left, lazily looking out a window. You prod her with a hoof.
"Huh? What's up Nightshade?" she snaps out of her daydream.
"What's this thingy mean?" you point at the thought defying obstacle on your paper.
"That's a plus sign, it means add the two numbers together."
Eureka! It suddenly so clear to you! With your newfound knowledge of addition you quickly blaze through the first four questions.
But wait... What in the flying Tartarus is that?! Prodding your guide once again as she finally starts to look at her own quiz, you point to the new conundrum and pray for her to aid you.
"That's a multiplication sign. You take one of the numbers and increase it by itself the number of times as the second number." she explains "It's really hard. And we're supposed to add in letters next year! Why did anypony think that was a good idea?" she adds glumly.
You stare at her in horror at this news. "Is it time for lunch yet?" You ask hopefully.
Scootaloo just turns away and mumbles "I wish it was Shady, I wish it was."
Grabs some papers from her desk which causes everypony else in the room to get nervous,
"Alright class, time for a math quiz!" Cheeriliee sing-songs which induces groans from the whole class, some letting their heads flop to their desks.
"Man, ah hate these stupid things." Apple Bloom complains as paper get passed to everypony in the room. Nightshade looks at her paper to see... a mess of numbers and marks all over the front.
"Alright kids, you have the usual amount of time to finish, good luck!" Cheeriliee says before moving behind her desk to starts grading papers.
Nightshade pulls out a pencil and looks at her paper... and looks at it... and keeps staring, but darn, it's still not making any kind of sense! Not wanting to fall behind, Nightshade raises her hoof in the air as she looks around alertly.
Daddy said that if I have a question, I should raise my hoof... but watch out for spitballs, thrown textbooks, or stabbing attempts.
But the teacher doesn't notice as she face-hoofs over one student's homework. Looking around Nightshade sees Scootaloo lazily looking out a window. Nightshade prods Scootaloo with her hoof, snapping the orange Pegasus out of her daydream as she whispers,
"Huh? What's up Nightshade?"
"What's this thingy mean?" Nightshade asks as she points at the thought-defying obstacle on her paper.
"That's a plus sign, it means add the two numbers together." Scootaloo responds
Eureka! It suddenly so clear! With Nightshade's newfound knowledge of addition she quickly blazes through the first four questions.
But wait... What in the flying Tartarus is that?! Nightshade asks while prodding Scootaloo again as she finally starts to look at her own quiz. Nightshade points to the new conundrum and prays for Scootaloo to aid her.
"That's a multiplication sign. You take one of the numbers and increase it by itself the number of times as the second number." she explains "It's really hard. And we're supposed to learn fractions next year! Why did anypony think that was a good idea?" she adds glumly.
Nightshade stares at her in horror at this news.
"Is it time for lunch yet?" She asks hopefully.
Scootaloo just turns away and mumbles "I wish it was Shady, I wish it was..."
ONE QUIZ LATER
[insert comedic scenario here] + [insert slowmotion scene of awsome here] x [insert conflict here] + [insert tragedy here] + time = comment.
Wait, thats the formula of a Michael Bay movie.... Screw it have her write "comedy= tragedy + time" when cheer-i-dunno-how-to-spell-her-name ask for an example of a mathmatical formula.
Cheerilee goes over basic subjects like math and shapes, but given that Nightshade was home-schooled by Bugze (who we've already established as not that bright), she doesn't do too well...
"Alright class, pencils down."
Quite a few students (especially Nightshade who barely manages to stop herself from exclaiming "Buck!") groan before she continues.
"Now can somepony give me an example of a formula?"
Nightshade's hoof shoots straight up as she excitedly says,
"Oh, oh, I know! Talented actors - emotion + pretentious writing + cheap last minute twist x extremely slow pacing = terrible movie!"
"Um... Nightshade, that's not an actual mathematical formula."
"Really? Daddy always says that that's the formula for all of M Night Shymalamadingdong's movies."
Nightshade's comment causes the class to break out in laughter (even Miss Cheerilee tries to hold back her laughter as she comments, "So true..."), but before Cheerilee could respond, the bell rings for recess/lunch and everypony runs out of the Schoolhouse while putting their quizzes on Cheerilee's desk on the way out. Because Nightshade was the last one out, her quiz was on top of the stack,
"Let's see how well B.S. did on her daughter's home-school-"
Her jaw drops when she sees Nightshade's "work" and she worriedly says,
"Oh dear..."
At recess, a gray pegasus colt with a black mane and tail (Rumble) flies to the top of the jungle gym and declares himself king of the playground.
There's a mad scramble of colts and fillies that charge up to dethrone him, but they're all to busy fighting and knocking each other off. Nightshade is the only one to make it to the top.
"Not bad," Rumble says, impressed with her skills. "But there only room for one up top, and I'm faster than you are!"
Nightshade winks at him. "My daddy's a great fighter, and I've picked up a few things watching him. I even modified one of his moves. FALCON KICK!" She launches forward in a fiery blaze, and covers the distance in an instant. Her hoof slams into Rumble and knocks him off the top. He flaps his wings and recovers just before he hits the ground.
Nightshade soaks in the "oohs" and "aahs" from the crowd below, even from Rumble. She rears up and balances on her hind legs, spreading her front hooves to her sides. "Made it, Ma! Top of the world!"
As Nightshade walks out into the playground, a gray pegasus colt with a black mane and tail flies to the top of the jungle gym and declares,
"I'M THE KING OF THE PLAYGROUND!!!"
Suddenly, there's a mad scramble of colts and fillies that charge up to dethrone him, but they're all too busy fighting and knocking each other off. Using parkour skills learned by watching her father, Nightshade climbs, swings, and maneuvers around the the other foals and lands near the top of the gym with a flip.
"Not bad," The pegasus colt says, impressed with her skills. "But there's only room for one up top, and I'm faster than you are!"
Nightshade smirks at him and says,
"Well my daddy's a great fighter, and I've picked up a few things watching him. I even modified one of his moves. FALCON KICK!"
With that, she launches forward in a fiery blaze and covers the distance in an instant. Her hoof slams into the colt's chest and knocks him off the top, sending him tumbling before he manages to flap his wings and recover at the last minute before hitting the ground. Nightshade soaks in the "oohs" and "aahs" from the crowd below (even from the pegasus colt) as she rears up and balances on her hind legs, spreads her front hooves to her sides, and declares,
"Made it, Ma! Top of the world!"
MEANWHILE AT SWEET APPLE ACRES
You're in the middle of Falcon Punching an apple tree when you hear a dark whisper,
I feel motherly pride for some reason...
"Why do you keep thinking that you-"*THWACK* "Owwwww."
Unfortunately, the DFV distracted you long enough for a branch of the apple tree to fall on your head.
BACK TO THE PLAYGROUND
After some more cheering from the class Nightshade hears Scootaloo cheer,
"That. Was. Awesome!"
"Do you want to eat lunch with us?" Sweetie Belle asks.
Nightshade's eyes light up at the words "eat" and "lunch" and jumps off the jungle gym (accidentally landing on a gold-coated unicorn colt with aquamarine hair) before zipping over to the table where her friends are at.
At lunch, you eat all of your food supplies and are still hungry, but you promised daddy you wouldn't eat anyone else's (sigh)
Also, you and the CMC have an awesome conversation.
Applebloom: So Night Shade, what ya gonna be for Nightmare Night?
You: What's Nightmare Night?
The CMC's Jaws' drop at that
Sweetie Belle: How do you not know what Nightmare Night is?
Scootaloo: It's only like, the greatest day ever besides Hearth's Warming Eve
You: Oh, well we don't have it in Appleloosa I guess
Applebloom: Well that's a shame, my cousin's town needs to get their priorities straight
They all nod at that
You: So....what exactly is it?
Scootaloo: We all dress up in costumes and go door to door and get free candy! (excitedly)
You: (Your eyes dilate) Free...Candy!
Sweetie Belle: Yup, and we also can play pranks and scare others or get scared ourselves!
Applebloom: And then we get to go to the fair at night and play all kinds of games
You: Dear Sweet Luna, why have I gone my whole life without knowing this?!
Applebloom: I don't know, but now that you do know, we gotta try and figure out what we're gonna wear
Sweetie Belle: Ya, my sister is going to make us some costumes, and she kind of wants to know now sooner than later
Applebloom: Ya, we want to do a group costume this year, you included.
Scootaloo: I keep telling you guys, we should go as WonderBolts
Applebloom: You're the only one with wings Scootaloo, it wouldn't work for us
You: Heh heh, ya...(you shift your vest slightly)
Scootaloo: Fine...You got any idea Night Shade?
You: Hmm...Can it be anything?
Sweetie: mmhmm, anything you want, from harmless to scary
You: Scary huh?
The only scary movies you ever got to see were old black and white ones at Appleloosa, the classics as they call them here. Yeesh that place needs to get with the times. Yet there were some gems in there.
You : Why don't we go as the Universal Monsters?
Sweetie: Ooo, the classics.
Scootaloo: That's not a bad idea
Applebloom: Great Idea Night Shade
You smile as they start to call out
Applebloom: I call Bride of Manekenstein!Sweetie: I want to be DraculaScootaloo: Dibs on the Wolf Pony
Night Shade: Then I'll be a Mummy! This is gonna be so fun
You all bump hooves and yell
CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS UNIVERSAL MONSTERS YAY!!!
Nightshade takes out her lunch from her saddlebag before proceeding to wolf down the apples, spit out the cores, tear open the boxes of crackers, and rapidly dip the crackers in the peanut butter before machine-gun shoving them into her mouth. The CMC notice this and comment,
"Woah..."
"Holy mother of awesome..."
"Sweet Apples..."
"What...? (*chugs down water bottle in one go*) It's just a light lunch."
I'm still hungry, but I promised Daddy I wouldn't eat anypony's lunch. *Sigh*
Before Nightshade could dwell on her predicament, Applebloom asks,
"So Nightshade, what ya gonna be for Nightmare Night?"
"What's Nightmare Night?"
The CMC's jaws drop at that and Sweetie Belle says,
"How do you not know what Nightmare Night is?"
"It's only like, the greatest day ever besides Hearth's Warming Eve!" Scootaloo adds,
"Oh, well we don't have it in Appleloosa I guess."
"Well that's a shame, my cousin's town needs to get their priorities straight." Applebloom says as she and the other two CMC nod their heads at that
"So... what exactly is it?" Nightshade asks causing Scootallo to excitedly respond,
"We all dress up in costumes and go door to door and get free candy!"
Nightshade's eyes dilate as she says, "Muryō... Kyandi!"
Nightshade's eyes go back to normal when she notices the odd looks the CMC are giving her and she says,
"Oh, it's Neighponese for 'free candy'."
"Ohhhhhhh." The CMC all say in understanding.
"As we were saying," Sweetie Belle continues "we also can play pranks and scare others or get scared ourselves!"
"And then we get to go to the fair at night and play all kinds of games." Applebloom says,
"Dear Sweet Luna, why have I gone my whole life without knowing this?!" Nightshade says
"I don't know, but now that ya do know, we gotta try and figure out what we're gonna wear."
"Yeah! My sister is going to make us some costumes, and she kind of wants to know now sooner than later."
"Ya, we wan'ta do a group costume this year, you included."
"I keep telling you guys, we should go as WonderBolts!"
"You're the only one with wings Scootaloo, it wouldn't work for us." Applebloom retorts causing Nightshade to chuckle nervously as she slightly shifts her vest.
"Fine... You got any idea Nightshade?" Scootaloo asks her.
"Hmm...Can it be anything?"
"Mmhmm, anything you want, from harmless to scary." Sweetie Belle says,
"Scary huh?"
The only scary movies Nightshade ever got to see were old black and white ones at Appleloosa, the classics as they call them here. Bugze would frequently complain that "this place needs to hurry up and get with the gorram times", yet there were some gems in there...
"Why don't we go as the Universal Monsters?" Nightshade suggests,
"Ooo, the classics."
"That's not a bad idea."
"Great Idea Nightshade!"
Nightshade blushes and smiles at the compliments as they start to call out,
Applebloom: "I call Bride of Manekenstein!"
Sweetie: "I want to be Dracula!"
Scootaloo: "Dibs on the Wolf Mare!"
"Then I'll be a Mummy! This is gonna be so fun!" Nightshade says,
The fillies all bump hooves and yell,
"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS UNIVERSAL MONSTERS YAY!!!"
"Awww... Isn't that just adorably pathetic."
Hangs out with CMC and pranks Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon after they pick on the CMC.
Time to quote/paraphrase Coltablanca: “Of all the playgrounds, in all the schools, in all the world, they walk into ours…”
Or Tarantino:
-"Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie, or are you gonna bite?"
-"I'm curious, what makes you such a [] expert?"
Nightshade: "I'm curious what makes you so curious."
-Nightshade: "DumbflankSayWhat?"
Tiara: "What?"
Nightshade: "What" ain't no country I ever heard of! They speak Equestrian in "What"!?
Tiara: "What?"
Nightshade: Equestrian, motherbucker! Do you speak it!?
Tiara: "Wha-what I—?
Nightshade: "Say "what" again! SAY "what" again! I dare you! I double-dare you, motherbucker! Say "what" one more gorram time!
She has to do the "Say what again" skit. That would be so awesome
All four fillies turn to see Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon giggling arrogantly,
“Of all the playgrounds, in all the schools, in all the world, they walk into ours…” Nightshade mutters.
"Well well well, if it isn't the Blankflank patrol" Diamond Tiara taunts
"Yeah, and it looks like they have a new member" Silver Spoon adds in
"Oh yes, the Vest wearing tragedy"
"Heh, don't you know that vest went out last season?"
"It's actually one of my old worthless vests. It even still has that tear from where my Sugar Glider nibbled on it."
"Yeah. And it's still nowhere near as dirty as her mouth."
"Your daddy should wash your tongue out with-"
"DumbflankSayWhat?" Nightshade quickly says,
"What?" Diamond Tiara reflexively asks,
"'What' ain't no country I ever heard of! They speak Equestrian in 'What'!?"
"What?" Silver Spoon asks,
"Equestrian, motherbucker! Do you speak it!?" Nightshade says as she closes in on the two spoiled brats.
"Wha-what I-?" Diamond and Silver both stammer before Nightshade interrupts them,
"Say 'what' again! SAY 'what' again! I dare you! I double-dare you, motherbucker! Say 'what' one more gorram time!" Nightshade declares, now right in their faces.
"I..I mean...You can't... but"
"You... but... that's not... why..."
Both fillies both turn around and run away in embarrassment before the CMC say one after another,
"That."
"Was."
"AWESOME!"
They all high-hoof Nightshade.
*RING*
But the bell signaling the end of break goes off causing everpony to go back to class. On the way back to class...
During recess/lunchtime, accidentally bump into a brown colt with a caramel mane who seems to be wearing a propeller cap. Then proceed to converse with said colt in Neighponese (who, surprisingly, is fluent in the language himself). Despite the looks you're both getting from the uninformed fillies and colts around you, you and the colt calling himself 'Button' discuss the finer points of video games, film and popular culture.
Establish a relation with the one they call 'Button' through the language of Anime.
Nightshade should be careful not to let her wings be shown. That, and she totally gets off on the wrong hoof with Diamond Tiara and puts a pinecone on her chair as payback.
Nightshade bumps into a caramel-maned earth pony colt wearing a red and white beanie with a green propeller who says,
"Excuse me. Kon'nichiwa watashinonamaeha botan no masshudesu" (Excuse me. Hi my name is Button Mash)
"Sugoi hakuryoku! Anata mo Neighponese o hanasu?!" (Woah! You speak Neighponese too?!)
Nightshade and Button Mash continue to converse in Neighponese as they walk back to their seats,
"Un! Watashi wa ken ātoonrain no taba o mite kara mananda." (Yep! I learned from watching alot of anime and playing a bunch of NRPGs.)
"Hontōni? Watashi wa, kono zonbi no yōna anime no komedi o mitekara mananda? Soshite watashi no hanayome wa māmeidodesu" (Really? I learned from watching anime comedies like Is This a Zombie? and My Bride Is a Mermaid.)
"Hahaha! Watashi wa koko de, ano shīn, kare o oboete iru..." (Hahaha! I remember that one scene where he...)
The rest of the class look at Nightshade and Button Mash in mixtures of confusion and amazement as they continue to converse in Neighponese. Cheerlie is impressed some more from there so long conversion in a different language and gives them extra credit. Diamond complains and ends up sitting on a pine-cone that was conveniently in her seat. Nightshade looks away innocently, but Diamond just gives her the stink eye.
BACK ON THE FARM
Bugzy is sitting on the porch after his intense work... Granny Smith and him are sitting on the porch. You say "ssssoooooo this colt friend, what was his name I might know... My family being a bunch of fixers after all" he adds quickly.
"His name was Quick fix." She says calmly knitting a blanket.
'That was Grand Buggy's code name... so there's no douting it... my Grandbuggy taped that. He starts to turn green... "Yeah... I knew him..."
"Really? What happened to him." She looks... happy?
"To be honest I haven't seen him after the fail- the attack on Canterlot."
"Oh..." She says sadly
"You sound sad..." He says worriedly.
"It just... he and I were gonna get married a long time ago..."
His eyes widen... "I didn't know..."
"He just went into the everfree and never came out... I though he was dead..."
"..."
Granny Smith mentions that Grandbuggy and his Bowler hat just disappeared one day and comments that she must have went on a really hard Apple Pie a la mode binge as she gained a whole lotta weight and didn't lose it till 11 months later...
You're currently sitting on the porch patching Granny Smith's rocking chair as she knits nearby. You say,
"Ssssoooooo this colt friend, what was his name and what did he look like? I might know... My family being a bunch of patchers after all" you add quickly.
"His name was Quick Fix." She says calmly knitting a blanket. "He was an Earth Pony with a mustache, a bowler hat, and a duct tape Cutie Mark on flanks you can bounce a hoof full of bits off of of it. He also always walked around wearing a black leather jacket."
That was one of Grandbuggy's code names and I can't remember ever seeing him without his bowler hat... so there's no doubting it... my Grandbuggy taped that. You start to turn green before you force it down and manage to say,
"Yeah... I knew him..."
"Really? What happened to him?!" Granny Smith asks him excitedly,
"To be honest, I haven't seen him in a long time..."
"Oh..." She says sadly
"You sound sad..." You say worriedly.
"It just... he and I were gonna get married a long time ago..."
Your eyes widen... "I didn't know..."
"He just went into the everfree one day and never came out... I though he was dead..."
"..."
"I musta went on a hard apple ice cream binge cause I gained a whole lotta weight and didn't lose it til 11 months later..."
You both sit there in silence for some time. Finally, you got up and made yout way over to hug Granny Smith who returns the hug. When you break the hug you ask,
"Did we just bond?"
"Yeah... and if you tell my grandkids I got all upset over some runaway colt-friend i'll skin ya alive!"
"Don't worry, you have my word!"
A soft smile fell onto her face and she said,
"Good now GIT you should pick up your daughter."
You smile as you walk towards the schoolhouse and think,
Eleven months? Isn't that how long a mare is pregnant for? And when a changeling impregnates or even gets impregnated by a non-changeling, then by the Hive laws he or she would need to retrieve the baby using either a memory spell or more... extreme witness-removing measures...
You gulp as you remember the horror stories changelings told regarding half-changeling babies as you continue,
Wait... If my mother was Grandbuggy's only child, and if he impregnated Granny Smith before snatching the foal, then that means... I'm part Earth Pony!
You stop in shock at this revelation, but after a few moments of rebooting, you continue on,
Well, being part-Earth Pony would explain my orange mane and my higher-than-average durability. But, if Granny Smith is my grandmother, then that would mean Applejack is my... cuzzzzz...
When that realization hits you like a sledgehammer to the nuts, you run all the way to your daughter's school saying,
"Nope... nope... nope, nope, nope, nope, NOPE, NOPE, NOPE! NOPENOPENOPENOPENOOOOOOOOOOOOPE!!!!"
END OF THE SCHOOL DAY
When Bugze picks up Nightshade, Cheerilee complains about Nightshade's language, behavior, and poor schoolwork, but you accuse her of being prejudiced against Appleloosans and then bail while the schoolteacher is stammering defensively. As you leave, comment to Nightshade that you were never exactly a model student yourself.
When you reach the schoolhouse, Nightshade spots you and excitedly yells, "DADDY!" before running straight into your chest. Miss Cheerilee then comes up to you and asks,
"Uh, mister Tennant?"
"Yes?"
"You see there's a problem..."
"Oh no... Please tell me I don't need to sign any documents stating that I need to keep Nightshade a mile away from somepony."
Cheerilee gives a weird look as she says,
"No...that's not it."
"Oh Luna, did she set somepony on fire? Please tell me it was at least the fillyfooler!"
"Calm down Mr. Tennant! You see, Nightshade's basic math skills are... less than stellar and she said some very... detailed, as she called them, insults."
"We talking bodily insults or emotional insults?"
"Both"
"Oh um... LOOK A FIGHT IN THE PLAYGROUND!" you shout as you point a hoof behind Cheerilee.
When she turns around, you grab Nightshade and run. When you're both far enough away, you both start to walk home as
Nightshade tells you about her day. She tells you about her difficulty with "quizzes" ("Don't worry sweetie. I was never exactly a model student myself"), how she cursed out the bullies ("That's my girl"), Falcon Kicking a pegasus colt to become "Queen of the Playground" ("Nice move, I might need you to teach me that one day, but you should find out that colt's name and apologize to him. As a famous super said "With great power comes great responsibility".), meeting Button Mash, ("I would like to meet this colt some day...*snap* you know, to get to know him better..."), and the CMC's plans for Nightmare Night,
"Awww, that'll be adorable, I need buy a camera just so I can take a picture of it. Maybe I should go as a Big Daddy from Bioshock... Nah, probably cost to much. I"ll probably go as the Hooded Offender."
"But Daddy, you are the-"
"Shhhh, that's our secret, honey."
When Bugze picks up Nightshade, she comments that you really need a bath. You both run into a hippie Earth Pony who frequently puts "like" into every other sentence and looks stoned off his flank selling all-natural cosmetic supplies and you see that one of their products is "Goops for Stuff: Milk and Honey Bath Soak". Ignoring your grandbuggy's advice to "Slap/maim hippies on sight", you and Nightshade find the bath soak smells heavenly and it's only 4 bits a bottle (bubble bath soap at Barnyard Bargins was 12 bits a bottle) so you buy three.
-Reference to the My Little Pony Micro-Series Issue #3 comic
"*sniff* Daddy, you stink."
"Oh, I don''t smell that ba- *sniff* Whoa!"
Considering that you've haven't had a bath since Appleloosa, you've spent most of your time doing alot of fighting and running, and the fact that you're performing hours of manual labor outside in heavy clothing, you worked up quite a bit of stink. Coincidentally, you both come across an orange-yellow hippie Earth Pony who looks stoned off his flank selling selling all-natural cosmetic supplies. You get another grandbuggy flashback,
Now *&^@, if you ever you see a Hippie, SLAP THAT LAZY BUM ON SIGHT AND KEEP SLAPPING TILL HE GETS A HAIRCUT AND A REAL JOB!!! Now could you get me a shovel? I hear drum circles...
Deciding to ignore your Grandbuggy's advice this time, you look over his products and see that the "Goops for Stuff: Milk and Honey Bath Soak" is only 4 bits a jar (a bottle of bubble bath costs 12 bits a bottle at Barnyard Bargins), so you buy three.
3 Jars of 'Goops for Stuff: Milk and Honey Bath Soak' added to The Inventory
When you arrive back at the farm, you manage to convince Nightshade to go to bed in the Inventory (you owe her 5 Cherry-changas this time...) before getting back to work. After a supper of soup and biscuits with the Apples, you go back to your shed, take a bath in the washtub with your new bath soak (the bath is heaven and one bath only uses up 1/6 of a jar), and hit the hay.
THE NEXT DAY
*CLANG CLANG CLANG*
"Rise and Shine Mister Tennant! It's cider season!" Applejack shouts as she bangs pots together,
You dive out of the bed and scream,
"AHHHH! LunaBucker9001 IS USING THE 'ALICORN STRIKE' KILLSTREAK! SACRIFICE THE NOOBS BEFOR..."
After looking around and realizing that you aren't playing one of the Battlefield: Call of Honor video games, you calm down and say sheepishly,
"Um... I mean I'll be ready soon!"
"What ever you say Sugarcu-Ah mean Mister Tennant." Applejack says before leaving with what you swore was a slight blush on her face. You look at the door questionably, but shrug as you think,
Wait... what's Cider Season?
What do you do?
Bugze's grandbuggy is the best OC... He only *just* beats Bugze, but he's just that awesome... Nightshade is a close third. All of your characters are awesome!
You mentally shrink as you realize that Applejack has a crush on you...
Not sure if that happens next chapter, or a later chapter, but it's going to happen sometime. Dang, Applejack's in for a surprise...
So....I guess Applejack isn't exactly nemesis or something like that...just a really stubborn Earth Pony with issues...
And seem to have a crush on our little Bugze...That is....funny....Or she is a enemy that have a crush on Bugze...for whatever reason...
But, then again, if the story is true then Bugze is cousin of Applejack...
St s complicate and the plot is getting thicker...
as you go down the stairs and eat breakfast granny smith starts noticing somethings about you and the fact that you'r eyes aren't a birth defect so on the why out she confronts you on whether or not your a changeling when she founds out you are one but then you tell her that Grandbuggy was Quick Fix and the reason he left (you think) was for her own safety.
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Eventually you reilize that there actually stealing you apples.
So you do what any sensible person would do:
Jam the machine with a rock.
the contest is really kicking up now! but you feel complied to check cause just in case after a quick painful climb you look at the flim flam brothers from the tree real quick with zoom you see there horn glowing you feel like your in trouble now for some reason hmm? "vrrrr" weird now all the sudden the wind is kicking up..... o sweet luna!!! your dodging and jumping skills have gotten better! good for you! but jumping out of a tree? still dumb. so after a painful quick landing hold on to something the wind really picking up now! "shurk!" o celestia!! it just suck up a whole bucking tree!? thank bug you weren't in that tree just now! but o mother bug are you serious!? the hose of death is moving toward you again.... now elsewhere with nightshade!
Find a way to break the big glass bulbs on the machine without anyone knowing it's you.
Edit; best OC is probably Bugze's grandfather.
Hmmm. What if Chrysalis is grandbuggy's daughter and bugze's mother? Nope.
AH KNEW IT I KNEW HE WAS RELATED TO THE APPLES YEEEEEHAAAAW
Out of nowhere, a bout of neo-Luddism (read: philosophy opposing modern technology) washes over you and at some point, you have a strong urge to break the Flim-Flam Bros new-fangled machine, despite the fact that pretty much anything you did for entertainment involved some sort of machine. You justify this course of action by reasoning that the FlimFlam Bros apple harvesting machine is part of the 'Skynet' uprising from the Termarenator series.
As the door closes you begin to contemplate hings. If Granny Smith your grandmother and Applejack is your cousin, then that information could be useful in the future, life saving probably. You also realized something shocking, frightening even. Where are all the other changeling? Sure there might be fewer roaming around in equestria after the invasion, but still you would've ran into someling by now. You decide that worrying about that now would ruin your day. They're fine....probably.
---
Favorite OC in the fic? Grandbuggy obviously! Hes like grandpa who would do cool stuff with you and tell stories about the war!
Come on Hive Mind. We want the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy arc to last at least more than 1 chapter
Ask Applejack what Cider Season is and she explains it's when they sell their beloved cider and that good sales this year are very important as the cider sales will keep the farm afloat through the winter. When you ask about the sales of other Apple products, AJ replies that they put most of their efforts into the Grand Galloping Gala and we all know how that turned out (you cringe in guilt at that)
-(Sweet Apple Acres cider is a non-alcoholic beverage that was always your "Special Occasion Drink" back in Appleloosa)
Applejack also mentions that somepony left a package for you and hoofs it over. You open the package to see another note accompanied by the 4th Doctor's scarf so you happily put it on around your lower face and comment that all you need now is a sonic screwdriver, but you decide to improvise by starting to use your vise-grips as if it were a sonic screwdriver:
"We need to reverse the polarity of the neutron flow before the Cyperponies steal all the Fantastic jelly babies! Allons-y!"
You snap out of it when you realize that Applejack is still there when she giggles at your nerdy display
Fortunately, that bath from last night was absolutely invigorating so you get to work helping Big MacIntosh move the barrels of cider to a booth by the entrance of the farm and duct taping any leaks in the barrels. You see Applebloom there and ask her why she isn't at school and she replies that since she works for the Apple family and Miss Cheerilee really likes the cider, she gets the day off on cider season and you think that may apply to Nightshade as well.
Get vindictive enjoyment from the fillyfooler not getting any cider.
When the Flim Flam brother start singing their pitch song, you remember Grandbuggy telling you never to trust anyling that sells you something with a song and mentions being conned out of his bits by some hucksters in Vanhoover (he mentions getting back at them by stealing their quality hoof-rolled Zebran cigars and replacing them with exploding sausages and chuckles at the memory as he takes one out to light it... but you snatch it out of his hooves as you were trying to get Grandbuggy to quit smoking).
When the unicorn brothers leave, you spend the rest of the day helping the Apples create and move more barrels of cider, training with Applejack (she even gets Big Red to briefly help out and he blocks your Falcon Punch... With one hoof... Without moving an inch... Or even flinching... You are really glad you're on good terms with this stallion), take another bath, and go to bed before the Flim Flam brothers come back the next day and challenge the apples to a competition.
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Applejack has a crush on me?! But I'm her cousin for Luna's sake!
So? Royals often marry their cousins to keep the bloodline pur-
I'm not a Bucking Royal! Although she does have well-toned legs and it is called the cowfilly po- NO!!! BAD BUG!!! First Fluttershy, then Octavia and Vinyl, and now Applejack?! What next? The fillyfool-
You then start to laugh or gag at the thought
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Late in the competition, do what SnapDrakeGames suggests, but by either using the staff or a FUS RO DAH.
---------------------
Favorite OC, Bugze of course.
As you awake, you go to the kitchen to take a little food when suddenly you hear a explotion. Both you and Applejack run to the kitchen just to find smoke and in the middle of the kitchen, Nightshade and Apple Bloom
"IM sorry daddy, I was thinking in making you a little of juice with the help of Apple Bloom, but suddenly it exploded"
You look to Nightshade and Applejack look to Apple Bloom
"Are you both okay? What exactly happened?" Ask Applejack to Apple Bloom
"I don't know, It was like the incident with Sweetie Belle but worst" Say Apple Bloom
You look to both sisters confused
"Some unicorns have strange magic around them, and... long story short, is best that they don't try to cook" Explain Apple Bloom
"It's only that they don't know to cook sugarcube, not too much" Say Applejack
"But it's true... just think about that... Nightshade is a unicorn and Sweetie Belle is also a unicorn" Commented Apple Bloom
"Well... Now that you say it... I never see Twilight cooking, from what I hear, almost everything is done by Spike"
"So... Is she treating the dragon like a slave?"
You can imagine the image of the poor little dragon, being forced to work by the evil unicorn but it dissappear as Applejack begin to talk
"what? No! She treat him well, like a mother or a big sister" Comment Applejack
"Are you sure? I mean... How much you see about them? Who knows how she could treat him" Say Bugzee
"Well... No... But... I never suspect of one of my best friend, let's talk about other thing" Say Applejack
And then the conversation begin to change to gossip about the lavender unicorn, and you force yourself to stay awake to see if maybe you win some info about the leader of the Evil Five
....
Time later you see a strange machine and two unicorn as they drive the machine, you remember them, you meet them during your stay in Appleloosa as they managed to sell Braeburn a couple of "Magical seeds" he was depressed too much time and you know only because you see them when they did the trade.
You think they could do something worse to Granny Smith or Applejack, so as you look around to make sure no one see you, enter in the barn and take the hooded ofender suit.
"I not like this, but someone need to do this... I just hope nothing happens"
You put the hooded ofender suit and exit the barn, after that you wait the best moment to sabotage the machine, but you don't know how to do exactly and you decide to use a "No-Shadow Kick" you prepare to do the move when suddenly one of them, Flim if you don't remember bad, see you.
"So the rumor is true... The hooded ofender is here!! What are you thinking you do?" Ask Flim
"I... Well... Err... Look!! Is your lost third brother Flem!!"
You appoint to a direction and Flim turn to look
"Flem? Where? Since Hearth and Hooves day that I don't know about you..."
You decide to return to the barn and put out the hooded ofender suit before they catch you, as you exit the barn you see Flim still searching for Flem
"Flem? Where are you Flem!?
----------
The best OC is Nightmare Moon in the head of Bugzee, if cannot be called a OC, then...
- Nightshade
-Grandbuggy
-Bugzee
In the list of characters
You realize why you're so tired, the sun isn't even out yet.
You: Why are we up so early? Solar Flanks hasn't even done her job yet
AJ: Well we gotta get set up right fast, the lines already a mile long
You: Line?
She points outside to the east and see a line of ponies in the early dark. There even appears to be a a number of tents, with a pink one in the front.
You: Whoa, how did I miss that yesterday?
AJ: I don't know, you ran right by them yesterday when you went to pick up your daughter
Flashback to Yesterday
You run past countless ponies sitting in chairs in front of tents
Pinkie: Hey mister, you come to join the "Wait for Cider Season Camping Party?"
You: NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE!!! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING! SHE CAN'T BE MY BLOOD!!!! CURSE YOU LADY LUCK! CURSE YOU DOCTOR, I BET YOU KNEW!!! AND CURSE YOU GRANDBUGGERY!!! WHY COULDN'T YOU KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS!!!!
As you run away, Pinkie shakes her head and sighs
Pinkie: Ah, another poor soul gone mad because the wait for cider was too much.
Present
You: Heh heh...ya....
AJ: Well anyway, get a move on, we don't want to be late, this here is an Apple Family Tradition, even if you ain't kin that is
You: So far as you know (mumble)
AJ: What?
You: What?
AJ: Sorry, thought you said something sugarcube
As you walk with her, you can't help but feel weird since you both share a Grandmother so your own family has been trying to kill you this whole time.
You help roll the barrels to the front of the line as NightShade helps Applebloom at the tap. Even you admit that's cute now that you know they are cousins. You witness the fillyfooler complaining that she never gets to have any cider because of the pink one. You smile evily as you intend for her to not receive the golden deliciousness, whatever the cost.
When AJ tells the crowd they ran out, you take delight in seeing Rainbow tormented.
DFV: Yes, relish in her anguish. Never let her be satisfied...
You: Aaaannnddd you just made it creepy, way to go Baby Momma
DFV: What did you just call me?
You just laugh at her outburst.
When two unicorn brothers with stylish as all hell hats show up and start singing, the crowd gets into it, and you can't help but like it either. You suddenly have the urge to also buy a timeshare and give your money to a Neighgerian prince...wait, the heck are you thinking?
These guys have some sort of sway to them, but what? You look to their stylish hats once more and think about giving your money to an obvious pyramid scheme.
You: AHA! IT'S THEIR HATS! DESTROY THEM! DESTROY THEM BEFORE THEY GET ALL OUR BITS!!!
DFV: You are an imbecile you know that?
You rush up and during the musical number and swipe both hats off their heads before stomping them in and setting them on fire. They and the whole crowd are flabbergasted by what you just did.
Applebloom: Now what'd you go and do that for?
You: Their hats are evil I tell you, EVIL...EVIL!!!!
Everyone just stares at you funny, behind you you hear
Flim: Curses, how could he have known about the manipulator hats?
Flam: I don't know brother of mine, let's go with plan B
Flim: Lying and Smooth Talking?
Flam: Bingo
They keep trying to talk the apples into a shady deal, but they refuse. After Big Mac says Nope, you add in your own Two Bits
You: EEEVVVIIIILLLL!!!!
Flim: Alright fine, but you haven't seen the last of us
Flam: And we're billing you for those hats
You: YOU'LL NEVER GET MY MONEY!!! (You start throwing empty barrels like Donkey Kong as they run off)
Everyone disperses for the day, even as you scream Evil to the skies, to the point where AJ has to put you in a choke hold to calm you down, doing so causes her to blush again.
You: Why does she keep doing that?
DFV: Because she's attracted to you you idiot (she growls that one, almost as if she's jealous)
You: What? Nah that can't be... can it?
DFV: Fraid so
You: Oh dear Luna, the mare who has tried to kill me since day one, who I now find out is my cousin is also crushing on me?
Your head spins with that thought
You: What the heck is this, the Jockey Springer Show?!
And the Best OC is GrandBuggy of Course. We've never seen him in the present, but his influence over Bugze is like a drunken deranged Uncle Iroh in a way that has made Bugze who he is today
---
The Apples are a well-oiled machine when it comes to cider season, even with the whole town waiting for their mug, and there isn't much for a patcher to do but pitch in where you can.
You try to help Big Red move the cider barrels until he shouts "DODGE!" The combination of him using a normal word and the terror of what's coming makes you freeze... and nothing happens. He chuckles at his joke, and you go help Apple Bloom at the serving station.
You're first customer just happens to be Miss Cheerilee. "Good morning Mr. Tennant!" Her eyes burn a hole into your soul, yet her sweet smile roots you to the spot. "We didn't finish our conversation yesterday."
"Er, uh, um, I..." Sweet merciful Hive, this is what you sent Nightshade to? No wonder Twilight is so crazy! She spent her whole life in classrooms!
You shout, "Cider!" and toss a mug at her. She catches it, but the distraction is enough for you to run away again.
The mug collides with the back of your head, and you tumble head over hooves.
"Now, now, Mr. Tennant, did you think I don't know how to deal with flying objects? I'm a school teacher! I've seen more paper airplanes than... oh, who needs jokes? We have important matters to discuss."
You roll over to your back. Apple Bloom looks down at you in disappointment. "You really need to learn-"
"WORKING ON IT!"
Cheerilee stands over you. "Getting back on track, are you aware that your daughter believes 17 plus 12 equals 42?"
"About that-"
"And that she thinks 9 multiplied by 3 equals 42?"
"She-"
"Or that the square root of 16 is 42?"
You chuckle. "I taught her well."
Cheerilee is not amused. She leers down, inches away from your face. "I expect more from her, Mr. Tennant. And you." She smiles again. "Have a nice day!"
---
The best OC is that Flash Sentry guy we wrote about. He was really cool, and a real badass that fought off a entire swarm of changeling by himself. Wouldn't it be awesome if he was in the show?
thank you so much for putting grandbuggy in the story and making him tap that... I'm just so happy I could be apart of this amazing story! :) fwweekly.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/singing-in-the-rain.jpg
You know, Lady Luck hasn't reared her ugly head in a while... Let's have Granny Smith notice your true self due to a disguise malfunction in the kitchen.
The world has it out for you. And yet, things are going well. Lady Luck must be scheming something along with Lady Fate and Mistress Karma. If the shock of a species built for lying somehow got born into a family that prides itself in honesty and the inevitable backlash from the wall of lies made to hide that fact doesn't reek of their handy work, then you don't know who!
What's definitely certain in your life is that they'll make it slow and painful, and then make the killer Applejack for the sweet irony.
Anyways, you hope cider season isn't all that bad. But when you approached the stand that, you see TENTS! Single file. Going all the way past the line of that hill you saw in the distance. Cider Season isn't bad. It's a business.
You meet Rainbow Dash and found out about her "alcoholism". Plus, you get to chat a few words with ALL of your previous employers. Of course, you were sheepish.
You find yourself helping out with the cider sales, and things are going pretty well all things considered. Unfortunately, at the rate customers are coming, and counting the number of barrels left, there won't be enough for everypony in line.
Sure enough, the last barrel spits out its last few drops and there must be at least half of Ponyville still in line.
"Sorry everypony, that's it for today." Applejack informs the crowd, to which they immediately begin complaining about how this same thing happens every year. Rainbow Dash is especially intent on giving her
marefriendfriend (and just a friend) an earful.While Applejack explains that it takes time to make their cider the right way, and everypony argues that she's overused that excuse, a thought comes to mind.
"If this happens every year, and they know about how many customers they'll have, why don't they start making it early? That way they have more cider to sell and don't have to worry about a shortage."
You decide to ask Granny Smith about it, but she simply tells you "We've made our cider the same way for as long as I can remember. 's just no way to make it any faster, or any way to stop it from spoilin'."
But as she finishes telling you this, you soon find out that fate intends to prove her wrong, and it's armed with two con-stallions and their wacky contraption to do it.
Coming over the horizon, accompanied by a sound of honking, squeaking and hissing of valves, two unicorns with bacon hair introduce themselves in song as the Flim Flam brothers. And the contraption they ride upon is called the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000.
They claim that they can make all the cider the ponies could drink, to which the crowd is extremely pleased, especially Rainbow Dash.
However, the Apple family is not convinced. And that's reasonable, seeing as how it's the Cider Squeezy 6000 and not the Cider Squeezy 9001 (over 9000!), and furthermore, these Flim Flam brothers seem to have a distinct lack of Oompah-Loompah workers, nor even their cousin species, the Drinka-Linkas.
======
Also: you can't resist snickering to yourself as Rainbow Dash scoops a hoof-full of cider soaked dirt in her mouth.
Kono episōdo wa saikōdeshita. Omoshiroi mojidōri subete ga kare ni okotte iru tame saikō no OC wa machigai Bugzeta. Anata ga yoku hattatsu shita kyarakutā to sutōrī no mae ni kare no jinsei e no kanketsuna, shikashi kyōmibukai dōsatsu ni sore o tsuika shi, Soshite, anata wa, OC no kanpekina rei o motte iru.
My Japanese is a bit rusty so correct me if I'm wrong.
5087903 dude, Flash sentry is not an OC. He was a character in Equestria Girls and Rainbow Rocks.
Soooo, did Luna actually play battlefield? And the alicorn strike must be good.
Probably not but whatever.
I lol'd, 'tis was funny.
5090463
'Twas the joke.
Say; wait... Cider... As in ALCHOHOL!?
Have terrible flashbacks to the Hive...
All you had was one keg... It was just your luck you picked a vodka keg (who has kegs of that?!) You woke up the next day with half the hive covered in a sticky pink fluid which nobuggy could identify, sorrounded by lings with lampshades on their heads (with various faces drawn on), and a very pissed queen glaring at you with a hammer held aloft in her magic and a bandaged lump on her head.
Every time since that day it just gets worse with every alcohol black out you have...
Walk outside, being totally oblivious to the implications of the previously mentioned 'Cider Season'.
-"Barrels?"
Naturally, being a bug of Culture and Cunning, you use your Detective Skills to swiftly determine the true purpose of the Barrels;
-"DONKEY KONG!!!"
B-B-B-Bonus Level
And what's with all these ponies camping on the Road? Isn't that Illegal?!
Time for Bugze to clean up the Roads and send those Camping Noobs back from whence they came!
"And remember Kids, Tents really ARE that Flammable"
P.S The best OC is, obviously, the Mysterious
manwomanUnknown THING that gifted Bugze with the Cloak of AWESOME, and 'The Inventory'. And Bugze's grandbug runs a close second for best OC.P.P.S FimFiction REALLY needs a Changling Emoticon. Just Because of This story, and all its fans.
Someling should get to work on that.
Better than “Look, a distraction.”