[FIXED] Episode 22: STOP OW HITTING OW ME OW WITH OW THAT OW STICK!
Theme:
Remember what you said in "Episode 12: Time to Talk and Think!"
That's it, from now on if I ever get into a long awkward stare I'm just gonna slap myself to stop it.
Do that to break the awkward silence.
After awkwardly staring at each other for a bit (You can swear this is becoming a regular thing), you decide to break the tension before it solidifies.
You and Zecora continue to stare at each other in awkward silence. Your eye starts to twitch in annoyance as you think,
I swear to Luna this awkward staring thing is becoming a regular thing now! It's like some sort of running gag in a bad sit-com!
You suddenly feel a sense of irony at your though, but you ignore it as you think,
Wait a second, didn't I make a vow about this a couple days ago?
You suddenly get a flashback to a few days ago...
The two of you stare at each other awkwardly as you hear the TARDIS blink out of time. As you continue to stare at each other you can't help but think,
What is with me and long awkward stares with random ponies? I swear this is like the three-hundredth time this has happen to me. That's it, from now on if I ever get into a long awkward stare I'm just gonna slap myself to stop it. Speaking of which...
Taking your plan to heart, you hold up your hoof and...
*SLAP*
You mentally sigh as you think,
I really need to stop making painful vows. I'm gonna end up making one even stupider that'll end up with me getting killed. Oh well... This is gonna hurt...
You brace yourself for pain as you lift up your hoof and...
*SLAP*
Zecora looks at you in shock as you slap yourself, the force of the slap causing you to spin once. When you finally stop spinning you see Zecora holding back laughter. You give her a annoyed glare as she says...
Zecora takes a moment to compose herself before addressing you. "Greetings pony who has come to see me, I assume you require a remedy." she speaks in rhyme as always "But first I must find out from you, why you wear the clothes you do."
"Oh, you mean my disguise. One, because it's awesome, obviously." you brag about your Doctor's outfit "And two..." you look around. "It helps me stay hidden."
Zecora raises an eyebrow.
"It's me, Bugzy." you explain, to which her eyes widen and she quickly drags you inside.
"So it is true, I should have known that it was you. Since Canterlot you have returned, and many ponies you have spurned." She let's you know that she's aware of your "Equestria's most wanted" status, though she doesn't seem to angry about it. She continues "Though not from your own fault it would seem, a trickster's curse, blinding those unkeen."
"Yeah, I swear if Discord ever gets free I'm gonna punch him in the d- Wait. How do you know about that? I thought everyone was affected by that." You realize that Zecora knows about Discord's mind rewriting.
"My mind is a steel cage," she tells you "It would take much more for it to change."
"While that was quite the funny display,
I wonder the purpose of it, if I may?"
You chuckle nervously before you say,
"Oh that... heheheh. You see I made a vow that when ever I get into a awkward staring contest with somelin-I mean somepony, I would slap myself to end the awkwardness. I thought it was a good idea... at the time at least."
Zecora just chuckles at your explanation and says,
"Greetings pony who has come to see me,
I assume you require a remedy.
But first I must find out from you,
why you wear the clothes you do."
She gestures to your Doctor's Outfit (hmmm, that has a nice ring to it). You nod your head with excitement as you say,
"Oh, you mean my disguise. One, because it's awesome, obviously. I mean come on, look at this hat, oh and the scarf, never forget about the scarf. Scarf's are cool."
You gesture to your awesome 7th's Panama hat and the 4th's scarf for emphasis. Zecora just gives you a blank look, unimpressed by your awesome clothes. Your eye twitch's in annoyance as you think,
I swear to Luna one of these day's I'll meet someling who likes my fashion choices!
After making another vow that'll probably bite you in the butt later, you say to Zecora,
"And the other reason is..."
You look around cautiously before leaning in and whispering,
"It helps me stay hidden."
Zecora raises an eyebrow at your statement. You sigh as you lift you hat and lower your scarf and mask as you say,
"It's me, Bugze. The changeling you helped heal almost a year and a half ago."
Zecora's eyes widen and she quickly drags you inside.
"So it is true,
I should have known that it was you.
Since Canterlot you have returned,
and many ponies you have spurned."
She let's you know that she's aware of your "Equestria's most wanted" status, though she doesn't seem to angry about it. She continues,
"Though not from your own fault it would seem,
a trickster's curse, blinding those unkeen."
"Yeah, I swear if Discord ever gets free I'm gonna punch him in the d- Wait a minute..."
You realize that Zecora knows about Discord's mind rewriting.
"How do you know about that? I thought everyling was affected by that."
"My mind is a steel cage,
It would take much more for it to change."
You turn your back to her as you say,
"Well that's nice. At least your not out to kill me-*whack*"
Zecora does some of that sh%$ from the monkey lion king doing staff whacking.
(I don't know how to phrase anything...)
While bugze cries out things along the lines of "Stop", "Quit it" and the immortal "Ow!"
She gives you a whack in the head after you reveal who you are.
You: Ouch, Stop, Ow!
Z: You moronic insensitive jerk! You are some piece of work! How could you get it into your head, to make your friends think you were dead?
You: I had to, it was for the best. I did it to protect everyone. I'm sorry!
She stops whacking you and just shakes her head
Z: You are a very very stupid bug, (she then puts her arms out) Now come here, and give me a hug.
After embracing the mare who just attacked you, you go inside and catch up.
These and other words which can't be typed without me getting banned for life from this site are said as Zecora repeatedly whacks you on the head and face with a staff... This is gonna take awhile...
SEVERAL WHACKS TO THE HEAD LATER
Zecora stops her endless assault of her death stick and says to your pained form,
"You moronic insensitive jerk!
You are some piece of work!
How could you get it into your head,
to make your friends think you were dead?"
You shakily get up from the floor as imaginary flying pigs circle your head and you slur,
"I habd to, it fas for the bast. I vid it to protect everylung..."
You shake your head in an attempt to shake off the brain damage as Zecora shakes her head and says,
"You are a very very stupid bug,"
Zecora then drops her staff and then puts her hooves out,
"Now come here, and give me a hug."
You look at her in surprised, before smiling and saying,
"Remind me never to make you mad again. I don't think my skull can take another beat down... well from you at least."
You then hug Zecora back. After a couple of seconds, you and Zecora stop hugging and Zecora says,
"Now on that table my dear friend,
that potion should your pained skull mend."
You nod your head in thanks and stumble over to the table Zecora mentioned. You pick up a black liquid jar and drink it, when...
As you drink it, Zecora enter from the door and look to you.
"I think im late if you drink of that plate" Say Zecora
As you ask what she meaning she tell you that what you drink is a potion that....
E) It was a potion to increase your luck but was incomplete and because of that it give more bad luck that good luck
E) Even more bad luck for Bugze 
"No you misguided foo!
Do not drink from that bad brew!"
You stop drinking from the potion and give Zecora a confused look as you ask,
"What do you mean?"
Zecora sighs and says in rhythm,
"That potion you drank was from a bad brew.
Now it will bring bad luck to you."
You gulp in fear as you say,
"How much bad luck we talking here?"
Zecora sighs and says,
"More bad luck than Equestria has of good luck."
You can't help but think
Oh great...
Zecora pats you on the back reassuringly and says,
"Don't fret my friend, there's no need for scares
the effect only last till the day after the Night of Nightmares."
You head drops even more towards the ground as you think,
Oh BUCK...
You then sigh and say,
"It's okay, I'm already Lady Luck's punching bag, what's a potion gonna do?"
You would live to regret those words.
Suddenly, you remember a certain filly that you saw on the way here, so you ask Zecora...
Also, you comment about Applebloom
You: Oh and I think I saw Applebloom walking away from here, did she visit you
Z: Oh yes indeed, she came to me in a time of need
You: Is everything all right?
Z: She had a fall and broke a tooth, so I went and fixed it for the poor youth
You: Wait, You Fixed a Broke Tooth?
Z: Yes I did, with this potion in this sack (pulls out bottle), and it speedily regrew her tooth back.
You: Zecora, do you realize how rich you'll be if you patent that?
Z: (she looks confused) I decided to help Applebloom because she is young and has no bits, but now with this information its... this is just a home remedy. Ponies don't have this, is that what you are telling me?
You: Yep
Z: Oh wow, with my tonic, I could change everything, I feel so happy, that I feel I could sing. Truly you say, I will receive a lot in pay?
You: Oh heck ya, you're essentially regrowing bone! That's a miracle. Equestrian Healthcare sucks, I should know, I was once undercover as a Doctor with my Grandbuggy
FlashBack
Grandbuggy and you watched as every single illness and injury, from the flu, to broken bones was treated the same.
Bed Rest, and soup, and occasionally random Bandages.
G: These ponies know nothing, I can fix em up and have em out of here in 10 seconds. They just want more bits. Here watch
You: Wait, Grandbuggy I don't think...
Grandbuggy proceeded to then grab a pony in the waiting room and slam him on a table while injecting him with different things in needles, seemingly at random, even as the nurse tried to stop him
N: Doctor, please, stop!
G: SHUT UP NURSE!!! I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!!!
N: Doctor! This is an intern, not a patient!!!
The poor intern groaned in pain, even as he giggled at the things only he could see thanks to the drugs
G: Oh. My Bad
N: I'm going to have to ask both of you to leave. NOW!!!
G: SHUT UP NURSE!!! And make out with me...
N: Wha...mmff
Then Grandbuggy forcibly kissed her into bliss as you both ran away. Even in his old age, Grandbuggy had moves.
Present
You: And that's how we lost our pretend medical license
Zecora just stares at you in shock
You: (cough) anyway, ya copyright that stuff, and you can move out of this evil scary place.
Zecora: Perhaps I will do just that, but as for moving, I cannot just leave at the drop of a hat.
You: Well OK, food for thought, anyway, I'll see you around and...(slap your forehead) no wait, I came here for potions.
Get a potion to make NightShade's wings invisible so she doesn't always have to wear the vest,
some healing salves which she calls Estus and gives you in a flask. The stuff smells and tastes like Sunny D.
At some point, she seems confused because she keeps thinking she misplaced a potion of some kind. Heart's Desire or something. She said she was going to give it to a rooster or something.
"Oh and I think I saw Applebloom walking away from here, did she visit you?"
"Oh yes indeed,
she came to me in a time of need."
"Is everything all right?" you ask in concern,
"She had a fall and broke a tooth,
so I went and fixed it for the poor youth."
"Wait, You fixed a broken tooth?"
"Yes I did, with this potion in this sack,"
She pulls out a bottle before continuing,
"and it speedily regrew her tooth back."
You blink at her before asking,
"Zecora... do you realize how rich you'll be if you patent that?"
Zecora looks confused before saying,
"I decided to help Applebloom because she is young and has no bits,
but now with this information its..."
She then starts to look contemplative as she asks,
"This is just a home remedy.
Ponies don't have this, is what you are telling me?"
"Yep."
"Oh wow, with my tonic, I could change everything,
I feel so happy, that I feel I could sing.
Truly you say,
I will receive a lot in pay?"
"Oh heck ya, you're essentially regrowing bone! That's a miracle. Equestrian Healthcare sucks, I should know, I was once undercover with my Grandbuggy in a hospital..."
FLASHBACK TO SEVERAL YEARS AGO
Grandbuggy and a hatchling you watched as every single illness and injury, from the flu to broken bones, was treated the same; Bed rest, soup, and occasionally random Bandages. Grandbuggy was disguised as a dark grey unicorn with black mane, glasses, a pink mustache, and his signature Bowler hat while you were wrapped in bandages because your disguise spell has always sucked. Grandbuggy took you here because you came down with a flu that only ponies normally get, but after seeing more "treatments", Grandbuggy rolls his eyes and says,
"These ponies know nothing, I can fix em up and have em out of here in 10 seconds. They just want to save on bits, Here watch."
"Wait, Grandbuggy I don't think..."
Grandbuggy proceeded to then grab a random pony in the waiting room and slam him on a table before injecting him with random nearby needles even as a nurse tried to stop him,
"Doctor, please, stop-!"
"SHUT UP NURSE!!! I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!!!" Grandbuggy yelled as he started whacking the "patient" in the face with a fire extinguisher, "It's gonna be okay, cause I'm a doctor! I'm a brained medical professional! Brained? I'm prained in his brain... Drill in his brain? Into the brain. Into the brain! INTO THE BRAIN!!!"
Grandbuggy then raises a drill to jam it into the pony's skull before the nurse grabs his hoof and screams,
"Doctor! This is an intern, not a patient!!!"
The poor intern groaned in pain, even as he giggled at the things only he could see thanks to the drugs.
"Oh. My Bad." Grandbuggy says nonchalantly.
"I'm going to have to ask both of you to leave. NOW!!!" The nurse orders sternly.
"SHUT UP NURSE!!! And make out with me..."
"Wha... mmff."
Grandbuggy suddenly grabs the nurse and pulls her into a forceful kiss which she struggles against at first before melting into the bliss. Grandbuggy then abruptly drops the nurse, grabs you, and bolts. Even in his old age, Grandbuggy had moves...
BACK TO THE PRESENT
"And that's how we lost our pretend medical license." you conclude causing Zecora to just stare at you in shock. Snapping out of the flashback, you shake your head and continue,
"Anyway, ya copyright that stuff, and you can move out of this evil scary place."
"Perhaps I will do just that,
but as for moving, I cannot just leave at the drop of a hat."
"Well OK, food for thought anyway, I'll see you around and..."
You facehoof when you remember what you're here for,
"No wait, I came here for potions..."
"4 Transformation potions" (lasts for a week each) Added to Potion Sash
"3 Healing Potions" Added to Potion Sash
You thank Zecora for the potions as you add them to your Potion Sash. You hug Zecora and are about to leave when you ask...
You: So are you gonna come to Nightmare Night
Z: Oh yes I am, and I will see you there, that is if you dare (she chuckles mischeviously) I will give a presentation, that is sure to scare, so on that night, you best prepare.
You: Alrighty then (why is everyone being cryptic all of a sudden?)
"So you gonna come to Nightmare Night?"
Zecora laughs... evilly?
"Oh yes I am, and I will see you there,
that is if you dare.
I will give a presentation, that is sure to scare,
so on that night, you best prepare."
You give your best fake smile as you say,
"Alrighty then! Bye!"
As you leave Zecora's hut and head back towards the Apple farm for you and Nightshade's movie/anime marathon, you can't help but think,
Why is everyling being cryptic all of a sudden? Why can't they just speak straight to the point. What ever happened to 'yes' and 'no'?
ONE TREK LATER
Once you're back at the farm, you walk into the kitchen to get the popcorn ready for your marathon with Nightshade. Apple Bloom is there, about to take a drink a purple liquid in a vial.
"Mr. Tennant! What are you doing here?"
"What are YOU doing here? What is that stuff? You aren't drinking from the bottles under the sink, are you?"
She tilts her head. "Why would I drink from the bottles under the sink? Are they good?"
"What?! No, no, no! Never drink from the bottles under the sink!"
"That's what Aplejack said about eating all my candy at once last Nightmare Night! I ate it all, and I felt great!"
Applejack walks in. "What in tarnation is going on in here?"
"Applejack, can I drink from the bottles under the sink?"
"What? NO! B.S., what kind of BS are you telling my sister?"
"ME? Nothing!" You point at the vial. "I just saw that thing. What even is that?"
Apple Bloom hides the vial behind her back. "It's... something Pinkie Pie gave me. A new recipe."
You facehoof. "That's even worse! You can't trust that crazy mare!"
BAM!
Applejack slams into you, pressing you off your feet and against the wall with a foreleg. "Why did you say that?! If... if this is going to work I need you to get along with my friends!"
Oh, she has no idea what she just said, does she? Apple Bloom is looking back and forth between you two in confusion. You panic, and say the first thing that comes to mind.
"What?"
Not your smoothest moment, but it makes Applejack think. She blinks and lets you down, walking away with a blush and mumbled apology.
So THAT'S how all these girls can sweep you off your feet...
Shut it!
You arrive at the farm just before sunset, walk into the house, and said Hi to Granny Smith (who was sitting on her rocking chair knitting). You then go to the kitchen to get the popcorn ready for your marathon with Nightshade, when you see Apple Bloom sitting on a chair about to take a drink a purple liquid in a vial. She sees you, and she gets a shocked expression while saying...
"Mr. Tennant! What are you doing here?"
You look at her with a weird expression and say,
"What are YOU doing here? What is that stuff? You aren't drinking from the bottles under the sink, are you?"
She tilts her head in confusion,
"Why would I drink from the bottles under the sink? Are they good?"
You look at her horror while shaking you head back and forth in panic,
"What?! No, no, no! Never drink from the bottles under the sink!"
She tilts her head in confusion some more and says,
"That's what Applejack said about eating all my candy at once last Nightmare Night! I ate it all, and I felt great!"
You facehoof at her logic and are about to say something when Applejack walks in and says,
"What in tarnation is all that racket?"
Applebloom looks at Applejack and asks,
"Applejack, can I drink from the bottles under the sink?"
Applejack looks horrified and says,
"What? NO! B.S., what kind of BS are you telling my sister?"
You stutter, before you get angry and say,
"ME? Nothing!"
You point at the vial and continue,
"I just saw that thing. What even is that?"
Apple Bloom quickly hides the vial behind her back and says,
"It's... something Pinkie Pie gave me. Yeah! A new recipe."
You facehoof.
"That's even worse! You can't trust that crazy mar-!"
*BAM*
Before you could realize what happened, Applejack is suddenly pressing you off your feet and against the wall with a foreleg.
"Why did you say that?! If... if this is going to work I need you to get along with my friends!"
Did she just... Why did... Don't tell me... Is she planning to have me meet... HOLY MOTHER OF LUNA NOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU BAD LUCK POTION AND LADY LUCK, YOU CAN'T JUST HAVE HER KILL ME CAN YOU!
Apple Bloom is looking back and forth between you two in confusion. You panic, and say the first thing that comes to mind.
"What?"
Not your smoothest moment, but it snaps Applejack out of it. She blinks and lets you down, walking away with a blush and mumbled apology.
So THAT'S how all these girls can sweep you off your feet...
Shut it! At least I don't have twisted friendship beliefs!
They're not twisted, there true. I'm your only friend and that's the truth. Now go have fun with our daughter.
After you've concluded your business with Zecora, go back to Sweet Apple Acres just seconds before sundown, borrow the Apple's projector, butter, and salt (although they do express concern over the movies you're allowing Nightshade to watch), and have that marathon with Nightshade in your shed before you both fall asleep on the cot.
You just mutter in annoyance and yell after Applejack,
"Hey! You gonna tell me where the butter, salt, and projector are or are you gonna stuff my head into an oven this time?!"
Applejack just dumbly points in three different directions while continuing to walk away with a blush. Following her hooves, you grab the butter, salt, and projector and head to your shack. You cook the popcorn on the lantern as you set up the projector and put in the Alien/Aliens double-feature reel. When the popcorn is popped, salted, and buttered and the projector is set up, you take Nightshade out of the Inventory, but she wakes up when she smells the hot popcorn. That night was spent with making fun of cliches, screaming in terror at some of the nasty parts, and shouting at the awesome scenes (Nightshade devoured two of the bags of popcorn a third into the opening credits of Alien and you barely managed to stop her from eating the third, claiming it for yourself in spite of her pouting). You two fell asleep on the cot during the Death Notebook marathon.
THE NEXT MORNING
"B.S., GET UP!!!"
You jump out of bed in surprise and shout,
"AHHH HE HAS A CHESTHUGGER ON HIS FACE! KILL IT! KILL HIS ENTIRE FACE WITH FIRE FROM ORBIT! GAME OVER MAN!!! GAME-"
"Not now Mister Tennant! Applebloom needs your help!"
Your fatherly instinct kicks in as you run with Applejack into the house, up the stairs, and towards Applebloom's room. You ram open the door with your shoulder and see...
Applebloom tap dancing while twirling hoops on her tail and nose?
"Ahhhhh?" you say in confused uncertain terror.
Applejack just grabs you and yells,
"Yer a fixer! Fix her!"
Outro:
What do you do?
Stats
Page generated in 0.032 seconds
Total duration
891 users online
1,166,350 hits today, 1,996,409 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Throw a healing potion at her then say "Nope. use this, i ain't going near that!" and walk back to the shed, wake nightshade up and start applebucking again, when applejack comes running up to you and tackles you to the ground shouting "IT WORKED! THANK YOU B.S.T." And then does (Insert your chosen action here) to bugze, but unfortunately the rest of the evil 6 came running to check out what AJ was screaming about, and see her doing that. They get knowing smiles on their faces and you get the horrible feeling their planning something.
I agree with you Dalek idea. If he choose to scare the Doctor, the doctor might fry him with someyhing onhand, adding further to bugze's bad luck
Grandbuggy flashback.
because of equestrias magic ponies will sometimes burst into song and dance.
The only way to stop this is by joining in... But sing really badly and dance like a robot... Damn robots...
You see Apple Bloom with that strange ill or problem and you try a healing potion in Apple Bloom, but it don't work. After you see it don't work, you decide to try to search for the great wise of your Grandbuggy
Flashback
You remember one time you and your grandbuggy worked foalsitting
GB: Ahhh!!!! He is infected with magic!!!
B: What? Is only a little cold, I think he only need a little of dandelion soup and rest
GB: Idiot! That don't work! Magic must defeat Magic!
Say your grandbuggy and take out a strange mask, similar to the ones in Zecora house as he begin to do a strange dance around the poor foal and try and use a strange brown powder that smelled like cheese
End of Flashback
You take out the image of the Grandbuggy, as you remember that after that no one wanted you two foalsit.
"I can only fix something physical... Give me something broken and I could try to fix it... This is magic! As my Grandbug... I mean, grandpony say... Magic Must defeat magic!" Say Bugzee
"I told you, but you didn't listen!" Say Granny Smith
"Yeah... Yeah... So... Magic?" Ask Applejack
"Magic" You answer
Is then that you follow Applejack to the library, the little piece of Tartarus that is the home of that evil unicorn.
--------------
I vote for my idea, go as a changelling
5126302
evil, knowing, creepy, conspiring smiles...then say "I'm your cousin" then laugh (don't take this seriously)
As Applebloom frantically tapdances, more cutiemarks appearing, her sister lifts you over her head, picks up her sister and starts bashing the two of you together yelling "Fix it! Fix it! Fix it! Fix it! Fix it!... Fix it! Fix it! Fix it!"
"Stop that, it's not helping! Get a hold of yourself!" Bugzy screams and slaps her upside the head, to which she gives him a death glare. "Sorry."
"S'all right, just do somethin' quick! Mah sister's gonna get exhausted at this rate!" Applejack begs you.
"Dammit Jim- I mean Applejack. I'm a patcher not an exorcist! We need professional help!"
A lightbulb goes on over Applejacks head. "Twilight! I'm sure she can help with this magic mumbo jumbo. C'mon sis, we're gonna make you all better!"
You sigh to yourself "I guess we need crazy to cure crazy."
=====
Also, had an idea for an interaction between Applebloom and Nightshade:
Yet another cutiemark appears on Applebloom, this one taking the form of spiked-up anime hair. Applebloom, now speaking in Neighponese yells "{[You must help me! These cutiemarks are getting out of control!]}"
Everyone gasps. "Mah sister's talkin' Anime!" Applejack yells in horror.
"This is awesome!" Nightshade runs over to her friend "{[You speak Neighponese too now! We can start a club with Button Mash and watch all the classic monster battles! It'll be great!]}"
"What do you expect me to do about it? I fix buildings and stuff, not ponies!"
'Can't ya at least try?"
"...Fine." (Gives AB a potion from his pack)
I prefer the Changeling idea (Sorry but I know jack (beep) about Doctor Who, sorry man.
5126933 now that you say that... It make me wonder about a pony disguissed as the "Face of Boe" Also... If there is a Doctor, there will be a Torchwood and maybe a River Song?
P.S: I think i have the answer... The Problem of The Doctor... the thing that going to destroy everything... Pinkie is going to enter in the TARDIS in the middle of a Time Travel, the Pinkie Physics will destroy all the Laws of the universe around all the time, and because of that, Bugzee need to be friend with the mane six so that they are busy enough to make sure Pinkie don't enter in the TARDIS
You knew something was up with that potion! You start to panic and start rummaging through your bag. You find a strange potion that you didn't knew you had on you. It had a tag attach to it that read:
Restoration potion will be helpful, friend.
One sip will cause alteration to end.
~ Zecora
"Just what I needed! More riddles and cryptic words!" you yell as Applejack starts to panic by pacing back and forth.
Foolish fool who fools around foolishly! A restoration potion will cure any ailments. From poison to enhance effect on someone like the young filly over there
Right! Thanks, wifey!
You dont wait for a response as leap forward with the bottle in your grasp.
RUN AROUND SCREAMING THAT YOU FIX FENCES AND STUFF
You: Oh Dear Luna! When did this start?
AJ: Just now! She got her Cutie Mark today while you and Nightshade were watching films. She had two!
You: Two? That doesn't sound right
AJ: Well we thought she was super talented, but now she's got Three!
Applebloom suddenly gets a new one.
You: Oh NO! It's Spreading! This is how the Zombie Apocalypse happens, THE END IS NIGH!!!! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!
You scream like an unhelpful idiot until AJ smacks you upside the head
You: Sorry.
Nightshade offers her own two bits
N: Daddy, I think she's possessed!
You: You're right!
(You turn towards AJ and hold her by the shoulders and scream)
You: I need a young Celestian Priest, and an Old Celestian Priest!
AJ: Now where in the world am I gonna get those this time of night?
You: I DON'T KNOW!!! Fine I'll do it myself, I've done this before
AJ: You Have?
You: Well I watched The Exorcist, so I'm sure I got this
AJ facehooves
you turn towards Applebloom and begin to chant
You: Unholy Demon who hath infected this child, I call you out, in the Name of the Sun!
Applebloom gets another cutiemark
You: Curse you unholy Abomination, THE SUN SHINES ON ALL! THE POWER OF THE SUN COMPELS YOU! THE POWER OF THE SUN COMPELS YOU! IN THE NAME OF THE SUN I CAST YOU OUT!!!! PRAISE THE SUN!!!
Nothing happens, though you hear the DFV groaning in what sounds like pain before she shouts
DFV: Stop It! It's clearly not working, just stop you idiot! (pained/panicked)
Applebloom instead gets a sun cutiemark with a face in it.
AB: Hoho! Let us engage in Jolly Co-operation (she gets a sword out of nowhere and runs towards the door before AJ stops her)
AJ: No you don't young lady, What do we do now?
You: I don't know, I'm out of ideas...wait! Applebloom, did you drink that liquid after I told you not too?
AB: Yes...
You: AHA! I should have known. The Pink Menace did this!
AJ: Pinkie? But why would Pinkie Pie...
You: Applebloom said it was a new recipe, The Pink Psycho is testing it out and will soon unleash it onto the populace.
AJ: That don't make a lick of sense, why would she do that?
You: Because EVIL!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!
(You then run out the door and heads towards SugarCube Corner screaming your head off and leaving Nightshade with AJ and AB)
AJ: Wait Tennant! Grrr, that ain't gonna end well
AB: Pinkie can handle herself, please sis, I'm begging you help me
AJ: Fine, we'll get Twilight.
You kick down the door to Sugar Cube Corner and rush in.
You: Pink Menace! I call you out
Suddenly the lights come on
P: Surprise
You: Gaaahhh!!! (you fall back in fear, apparently she set up a party for you)
P: Hi, My Pinkie Sense told me someone was coming to surprise me, so I decided to surprise them first. Were you surprised? Were You?
You: Eee...heh heh(catching breath...viill
P: Hee Hee, no I'm Pinkie Pie. You came looking for a job, but I said we weren't hiring, but then I tried to throw a party for you since you were new, but you growled and said no and called me mean names and made me cry, but then I figured you were just having a bad day, but I still felt sad so I had Applejack pelt you with Apples and call it Dodge training, so now we're even, and look you finally came to your party!!!
You: I...What?
P: We also worked together to win the Apple Cider contest, nice moves by the way, and then you made Dashie cry, but then you were nice and made her like you a lot and you made AJ jealous and then we had more cider and...(you shove your hoof in her mouth)
You: Alright, enough talking Psycho, you are going to pay for your crimes. WHY DID YOU POISON APPLEBLOOM!
P: (GASP) I POISONED APPLEBLOOM?! OH NO! HOW COULD I HAVE DONE SUCH A HORRIBLE THING?! Wait, I haven't seen Applebloom since her friends brought her in for a party to cheer her up, but it didn't work.
You: Liar, she drank a purple liquid that she said she got from you and that it was your new recipe, and now she's growing cutiemarks and can't stop!
P: I did? I don't remember doing that. But if she says it was me, then I must've
You: That's right, and I'm here to stop you before you infect the others and take over Equestria with your insane hoof
P: Oh NO! What kind of Monster am I? I must be stopped! Take me in, please!
You: I won't stop untill...wait, huh?
P: Take me in.
You: ...I kind of thought we would battle or something
P: Why? If I'm making horrible super weapons and not remembering them then I need help before I hurt anyone else.
You: Oh...Well...OK Then let's...
You both hear a scream outside
P: Oh NO! What Have I done now?
You both look outside and see ponies running away in fear, and some with Hazmat suits on as Applebloom keeps doing different things and is covered in CutieMarks
You drag Pinkie to AJ, Twilight and Zecora who explains that the Cutie Pox vaccine is through a flower that only blooms with truth.
You: Alright then, Confess you fiend
P: It's true, I poisoned her and was planning on doing the same thing to the town even though I don't remember it...(she turns to you) right?
You: Right
Pinkie: Forgive me! (starts bawling)
The Flower doesn't bloom
AJ: Pinkie, only the truth will make this flower grow
You: That wasn't the truth?
P: I'm not a super genius criminal mastermind? Yay!
You: Dang it! So Close!
uuhhh? what needs fixing? what..( sees multiple cutie marks) i must still be dreaming
I still vote for Subject Delta/Big Daddy, if only for the extra armor and actual legs that go with it that might help if "Something" happens on Nightmare Night, but what are the chances of that
Reply: "Just cause I'm dressed like the Doctor doesn't mean I'm A Doctor!"
Nightshade walks in is excited/jealous that Apple Bloom has a Cutie Mark, but once she realizes the situation is NOT good, she solves the problem by doing what any calm rationally little filly would do:
Nightshade: "Hawokuishibaru!" (Clench your teeth!)
AJ, AB, and/or you: "What?"
Nightshade then proceeds to K.O. Apple Bloom with a Falcon Kick (bonus points if AB slams into Applejack)
5127508
Taking a page out of The Boondocks:
Bugze: "Okay, removing an evil pony spirit is as hard as beating Ghost N Goblins. We must gather the tools Faust has given us to fight pony spirits. Things that every pony fears: A transforming bipedal robot, a bipedal militarized action figure, and a bottle of glue.
Avoid conversation with the spirit. The spirit will lie. The spirit will make excuses. She will use words she don't really know. If she gets really desperate, she may break into a musical number. Now read, spirit, read!"
(Bugze takes out a copy of Fillyegans Wake, but AB gets an Irish Cutie Mark and starts reading it outloud)
Bugze: "Gah! It's more powerful than I thought! Quick! Everypony grab something and start hitting Apple Bloom while repeating after me with the holy phrase, "Zigger, get your striped flank out of-!" (get smacked out of it by Applejack)
------------------------
Hmmmm... as much as I wanted the "Bouncer" Big Daddy to be Bugze's costume, I'll go with Subject Delta.
B.s- oh noo did you drink the bottles under the sink I knew it whould do weird things to you
Ab- no I took a potion from zecora to get my cutie mark
B.s- oh that's ok but you should have shared with the other crusaders.
Aj- no she shouldn't have now fix her!!
Than continue with fusioncor3's idea.
Go as a changeling and have everyone try to prove he's a real changeling
The seeds of truth Zecora planted aren't sprouting! Ponies have been saying the truth, but nothing's happening!
Tell them you don't want to mate with Applejack.
I'm not going to say that!
So you DO want to mate with Applejack?
No! She's right there! And so are her hooves. And my face isn't far enough away from them.
Very well. Call Celestia a fat flank.
"I'm not going to call Celestia a fat flank!"
You freeze, realizing you just said that out loud. Incredibly, a stem of a flower grows from the ground.
Twilight gasps. "Discord's magic must still be taking an effect! The seeds of truth will only grow from lies now! Keep going, Mr. Tennant!"
You gulp. "Uh, my daughter was born in an alternate dimension inside my saddle bags?"
The flower grows again.
"I'm living my life indebted to a time machine riding immortal being!"
The flower begins to bloom.
"I once beat Contra without using the thirty lives cheat!"
The flower blooms in full, and you die a little inside, knowing that everypony will think that was a lie. No one will ever know your true greatness.
5130871 That would be really depressing.
Fix Applebloom huh? Well, duct tape some parts of her and spray WD-40 on others parts. That's what you usually do, and that tends to work.
TV Tropes page? That's awesome! It's like an achievement list for everything awesome in this story...