*sigh*
You sigh for what feel like the hundredth time as you walk though the Everfree forest (you finally learned this stupid forest's name last month when you ran into the sign that said 'Everfree forest' at the forest entrance) towards Ponyville. Now I know what your thinking,
Why are you heading to the one place that has caused you nothing but trouble for the past year?
Well you see it's quite simple, yesterday you, Bugze the changeling, got a TARDIS-colored letter from the Doctor to come to Canterlot immediately so that you could pay off the 10,000,000,000,000,000 bits of debt you owe him (and also get a time out from Derpy for making her think you were dead). You decided that this would be a better way to pay off your debt than actually getting all those bits, so after a good night's sleep, breakfast, and telling Braeburn that you were off to visit a friend in Canterlot, you headed off.
Unfortunately for you, the train station in town has been closed for maintenance (you offered to help, you being "The Patcher" and all that, but they told you to leave it to the professionals) so you had to walk to the next train station to get a ride to Canterlot. Sadly, the closest train station is in Ponyville which is why you're now walking down the path in the Everfree forest towards it. You're sighing because you're supposed to be dead!
Ugh... I fake my own death to protect eneryling from what's inside of me so of course half a year later I have to go back into the thick of enemy territory through the worst forest in the world just to go to the front door of the sun and moon controlling goddesses who'd want me dead if they knew I was still alive! You'd think someone with a time machine which doubles as a spaceship would be able to meet somewhere more safe and convenient like an erupting volcano or the middle of a hoofball riot! Okay, game plan: get to the train station without anyling noticing me, hop on the next train to Canterlot ASABP (as soon as bucking possible), and lay low till Canterlot.
Right now you're wearing your "El Hunko" suit which is really annoyingly inconvenient for you since it's your best suit, but the suit's neck gait, pants, cape, and long sleeves do a good job of covering your changeling features (wings, fangs, holed limbs, etc.) since your shapeshifting power has repeatedly proven itself to be very unreliable. At least you're also wearing your favorite Stetson hat.
You also decided to pack some supplies just in case something happened on your way there. You've fought some of the creatures that live in this forest (a chickzard (which Nightshade would later inform you is actually a Cockatrice) and Ursa Minor to name a few and you even just defeated a pack of timberwolves a few minutes ago with just your staff), so you know that you should have some stuff with you. In addition to currently wearing your potion sash (Current Reserve: 2 Healing Potions and 3 Stink Bombs) around your chest beneath your suit and Nightshade is currently asleep in The Inventory (or her bedroom as she likes to call it), you are wearing The Inventory and you put this stuff in it:
INVENTORY
Brown pouch with 80 Bits in it
Your awesome hooded black coat (you may have retired as the Hooded Offender, but it never hurts to have a fireproof coat that has a hood that hides your face in darkness. Might come in handy)
"How to be A Gentle Colt 101" book (A little class could go a long way)
"Kung-Fu For Dummies" book (Learn some new moves on the trip to Canterlot)
All Four Sherclop Holmes Novels and all fifty-six short stories (You've gotten up to the last book in the novel series "The Valley of Fear")
Used History Textbook (You got it really cheap due to it being worn with many missing pages)
"Animals, Nature, and You" book (Nightshade's taken a shine to learning about animals and nature so you brought it along so she can continue her homeschooling)
Patching supplies (Vise-Grips, several rolls of duct tape, and several cans of WD-40. Never leave home without them)
List of all your powers and spells
Note with your debt to The Doctor
Nightshade's crayon drawing of you (You would have put it in a frame, but this picture will always give you hope when you look at it, so you decided to keep it)
Magic black staff with a red crystal on top of it (You're currently using it as a walking stick/thing-poker)
Pink "Lover's Jewel" Necklace (you haven't found a safer place to put yet, so you decide to keep it)
Orange Bandanna
Purple Top Hat (Normally goes with the "El Hunko" suit, but your Stetson is just more comfortable)
As you're walking towards the forest exit (you can see the light at the end of the path... No you're not heading towards that kind of light) you start to think,
Huh, it's been so long since I've been to Ponyville. Maybe if I'm lucky I won't be chased, shot at, tackled, punched, bucked, or set on fire this time. I could even visit Flut-No... They can never know. Fluttershy, Zecora, can never kno-What the hay...?
You stop your mental rambling as you walk out of the forest to see an... interesting sight. There appear to be pink clouds raining a brown liquid (you have the weirdest hunch that those are cotton candy clouds raining chocolate milk), but what's really interesting is the fact that a hoard of rabbits with super long legs are chasing after a mint green unicorn...
You just stare blankly at the scene for a few seconds before saying...
"Why do I get the feeling that I'm somehow going to get blamed for this..."
What do you do?
Stay hidden and continue with your endevour.
You stop and watch dumbfounded at this occurrence and proceed to go through the possible causes. After some thinking you decide that it's just mother nature, but a voice that sounds like Q from star trek continuously laughs at the back of your mind.
when you were thinking it was just mother nature you found out that you are in the middle of patch of poison joke and curse your luck.
I like the setting so far.
Discord + bugze = FUBAR. (F-ed up beyond all recognition)
Must resist... Urge to sing... Chocolate Rain!
Lyra says something about humans, hands, and/or worries about where Bon Bon is
Nightshade pops out and starts drinking the chocolate milk rain (while also being upset that she can't fly to eat the cotton candy clouds) before joining in on devouring the chocolate-milk-filled cotton candy clouds, popcorn field, and giant apples (it's been a while since breakfast so you join her, but the apples taste different with every bite for some reason)
After a brunch break, get on a train to Canterlot, only for the Mares to also be on that train
Speaking of the link, I propose OK GO's "Here It Goes Again" as the season's theme cause I get the feeling that Bugze's going back on the run (the story is still titled The Life of a Wanted Changeling) again and will probably have quite a few cases of deja vu hijinks. Plus the tone of the song fits the comedy tone of the story
Continue on. Maybe this is normal weather for this place. (You and I know it isn't, but he doesn't :))
this seasons theme song eh? hmmmmm how about dracovallis the return of the hero?
[youtube=mnukAhB6iEE]
You shout, "IT MUST BE RABBIT SEASON!" and No Shadow Kick into the hoard of rabbits chasing the unicorn, scattering them. You turn to the unicorn as smile, saying "If only there were some ducks around, too."
She looks at you blankly.
You chuckle. "'Cause then you could say, 'No, it's duck season.' And then I say 'Rabbit season!' And you say, 'Duck season' again. And..."
She quirks an eyebrow at you.
You sigh. "Just got back and I'm already 0-for-1 on the references. Brilliant."
You will get a copy of the Hitchhiker's Guide from Discord as well as a towel and the foreboding comment-"you're going to need these". Queue the Mane 6 thinking you're in league with the living embodiment of disharmony.
PS: Carefully collect some poison joke to use on the Mane 6 in case of emergencies.
First things first, let's try to get our bearings on the situatio- Is that a table and chairs made out of red velvet cake?
So after you and Nightshade consumed the red velvet cake furniture (which turned into blue velvet cake halfway through), you realize that everything is totally flipping bonkers today. Seriously, the ground is now a checkerboard, houses are flying through the air upside down, and you could have sworn you saw the sky get replaced by an error code for a few seconds. It's Chaos! Chaos everywhere!
fc07.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/165/2/3/chaos__chaos_everywhere__by_mykklaw-d53gusx.jpg
A few possibilities for how all this happened fly through your buggy head:
- The Doctor's time machine is malfunctioning and it's bringing all of Equestria down with it.
- Pinkie discovered how to use magic, and accidentally broke reality in an attempt to throw the biggest party the multiverse had ever seen.
- Aliens from space have invaded and as a result, disrupted the fragile magic balance that keeps the world in check.
- It's opposite day.
Each reason terrifies you more than the last, but whatever is going on, you realize that going unnoticed just became the least of your worries.
=======
Also, theme song suggestion!
You decide that A this isn't your problem and you shouldn't get involved and B this town is weird.
Thats when you somehow managed to slip up a path covered with soap and up a waterfall made of chocolate that seemed to come out of nowhere screaming then suddenly deposited out of said waterfall and into a what was once a spa, now flailing around screaming in s sea of poison joke and chocolate you suddenly swirled downward as if someone had pulled a plug on the 30 foot hot tub and you then felt your body move in ways never thought possible as you where then turned to pure liquid and sucked dowards though.the soil of the floating building as your body changed back into a phisical form with an audible pop you screamed once more as you crashed though a road made of incredibly strong soap ( the magic infused kind that burns as if it where acid so they send you something to bite on when you use it) you clawed your way to the surface (somehow the road had a river under it.) and climb out of the path desperately gasping for air. this is when you realized that C this just became your problem. "someling. is. about. to. pay." You say between clenched teeth. "but at least the suits clean...." You say looking over your sparkleing, strangely dry suit. *twinkling "el hunko" suit acquired. EFFECT: your suit, now (permanently due to over exposure) infused with magical soap made only in the cristal empire, now lost to the snow of the north, creates a paper thin shield around you similar to that of,a cristal pony that can block all damage and is immune to cold weather, however due to its thinness any thing stronger than a fillys buck will instantly shatter it but it regenerates every ten minutes or so. (also the air around you may be colder by a few degrees and cuase slight crystallization of your environment( excluding organisms).)
Sorry for bad grammer, i need to get off my lazy bum and walk to the computer rather than type with my phone.
I have just gotten back from school. I have some due stress to release.
Brain.EXE Set to: (Random Variant...);
Processing... Initiate Referential or non-referential one-liners.
"Saxon Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaale!"
"But I am your sandwich. My hoof, that is!"
"Here, hold this for me" *leaves lit bomb*
"Uh, the distraction thing doesn't work, uh— Look! It says "gullible" in the ceiling!"
"The hand go— I mean, HOOF gods has spoken! Prepare to get smacked!"
"Why in the creators are there ballerina dancing buffalo! You guys are suppose to be back at the desert!"
"There's only thing left to do: Touch fluffy tail!"
"Who's idea was it to teach Llama to drive?!" *Hey! We just as smart as you pony, insect... Thing.* "Well stop trying to run me over/stop driving towards a CLIFF!"
Processing incomplete. Please add sugar intake to continue. (Sugar Levels); unconfirmed. End? Y/N?
In terms of theme song.... [youtube=http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=0XS2Qm0Bblk] #NRGForceforever!! Oh, you have to be ducking kidding!!
You turn around about to walk away until you hear a scream.
Discord + bugze?
Brain.Exe has stopped working. Please hang up and try again.
Theme song? How about "Fife and Gun" from the movie Gettysburg?
Doctor Who theme song!
Mutter 'Not this time.'
and stay hidden for as long as neccersary.