The continued misadventures of you, Bugze the Changeling, as The Doctor calls up on your debt with him and he asks you to come to Canterlot immediately
It has been six months since the events of "The Life of a Wanted Changeling." And you, Bugze the changeling, have settled down in your new home town of Appaloosa. You've managed to buy a house, protect Nightshade (your filly) from Princess Luna, and you've lived a peaceful life (besides that comet incident and that one time you accidentally set fire to the apple orchards) as the only changeling living in plain sight. But, after receiving a letter from a certain Time Lord requesting you to head to Canterlot immediately, you can't help but feel that your life is about to become more...chaotic.
The sequel to (if you couldn't tell) "The Life of a Wanted Changeling (Comment Driven Story)", where you decide what happens! Come in, sit back, and prepare to laugh your butt off!
The image belongs to S80LOR, give him all credit! Edited by Kersey475.
[New} Episode 6 and above have and will be proofread by Mind's Eye and Erised the ink-moth. Go check them out, there great guys!
FEATURED ON 8/31/14! Great Scott we did it Hive Mind!
Everypony knows about Queen Chrysalis's attempted invasion of Canterlot during the Royal Wedding between Captain of the Guard, Shining Armor, and Princess Mi Amore Cadenza (or just Cadance) that resulted in her and her changeling Hive being launched into the Badlands, right? However, very very few know that one changeling was launched into the Everfree Forest instead. You are that changeling.
You are Bugze; a clumsy, unlucky, pop-cultured, snarky, not-that-bright bug with prankster tendencies who can't fly and never really fit in with the rest of Chrysalis's hive.
"HEY, I am too bright. It was my idea to have the Hive change into griffins instead of ponies!" You shout at the narrator.
And how well did that go?
"The changelings that went into the Griffin Kingdom disguised as griffins... Got captured immediately..." You say in a defeated tone as you realize that the narrator was right.
Exactly, now let me finish your life story.
"Fine, fine, go ahead." You say in a annoyed tone.
*Ahem* Seeing how your life as an evil minion never worked out that well, you decided to become a good guy and swore to Luna (you forgot which goddess is the main one) to help those in need. However, after a misunderstanding with Twilight, Applejack, and Rarity, you were chased into an abandoned castle where you acquired "The Inventory", a bottomless saddle bag, along with several books from which you learned a few spells and some dark odd-looking alicorn-ish armor. The 3 ponies from before soon catch up with you forcing you to use the teleport spell (which rarely ever goes exactly right for you) which caused you to end up at the Royal Castle in Canterlot. You then run into Princess Cadance who reveals that you helped her during the Canterlot Invasion (when Chrysalis foalnapped and trapped her underground, you secretly provided her with food and water and even took a blast for her when Chrysalis decided to finish her. Your ex-queen revived/healed you (somehow) and claimed the ponies blasted you as you lost much of your memory from the blast).
You put your hoof to your chin as you say in a smart tone "If I remember correctly, I accidentally kicked dirt into Twilight's eyes, used Rarity as a meat shield, and just angered Applejack by doing said things to her friends... Yeah, I'm not good with mares." You give a sigh in defeat before you say "And to this day I wonder how and even why my ex-queen revived me... Right now my bits are on necromancy and I probably owed her some bits."
To assist you, Cadance teleports you to Ponyville where you befriend a pegasus named Derpy. You're forced to run after another encounter with the Mane 6 (and by that, we mean Pinkie Pie and Applejack and the latter is somehow able to see through your (usually unreliable anyway) changeling disguise spell) into the Apple Family Orchard. After resting in one of the trees, you find Applejack trying to harvest all the apples for something called "Applebuck Season" and (thanks to disguising yourself as Twilight) find out that Twilight cast a spell on Applejack that will allow her instincts to flare when a disguised changeling is nearby. You decide to help the clearly fatigued Applejack harvest all the apples ("Vow to Luna to be good, remember?") and befriend her little sister, Applebloom, which comes in handy when she helps you escape from Applejack and Rainbow Dash (the two mares who the most aggressively anti-you).
"Ahh Derpy, nice mare, if a little clumsy. I hope I can meet her again someday. And it was a great exercise bucking all those apples, and I felt great for helping Applejack, even though she hates my guts." You say to the narrator. You then get a mischievous grin as you say "Oh, and Applejack and Rainbow are totally marefriends!"
"NO WE'RE NOT!" Applejack and Rainbow scream as they begin to chase you.
"Ahhhhhhh, leave me alone you crazy fillyfoolers!" You scream in fear as you run away from the crazy mares.
Soooo that happned. Where was I...oh yeah. *Ahem* You then end up following the Mane 6 when they go up a mountain to deal with a dragon (who you called "Smaug") that was endangering Ponyville with his smoky snoring. You covertly assist the mares, directly saved Fluttershy's life a few times, and held off the angry dragon so they could escape, but the fight caused you to get severely injured and knocked off the mountain. You awaken in Zecora's hut some time later where she befriended and healed you. Not only do you find out you have a mark on your chest that looks like this, but a little alicorn filly with a big appetite and a habit of sleeping heavily in "The Inventory" for long periods of time jumps out of "The Inventory" and claims to be your daughter (you name her "Nightshade"). You also gain a black hooded coat that also completely hides your face in darkness when your hood is up. You put on the coat and go to the Ponyville library in hopes of finding a way to contact Cadance, but another encounter with Applejack, Rarity, and Twilight forces you to emergency-teleport and end up in the Royal Castle in front of Cadance... but also in front of her husband, Shining Armor as well as Princesses Celestia and Luna.
"Huh... huh.... huh. *Cough* Hehehe sorry, I remember the Smaug fight. Kicked him real good in his eye, and then went though unimaginable pain as I was literally used as his personal punching bag. Broke several of my bones before throwing me off the mountain and into a river." You shudder at the memory before you say "Oh, but I got him back good. I Fus Ro Dah-ed him before he threw me off." You say with smugness in your voice, you then laugh as you say "The awesome cloak I got is just super cool. It makes me feel like a stealthy assassin from Assassin's Creed whenever I wear it! Attempts to make a hidden retractable blade for it have been... painful so I gave up on that idea." You say sheepishly.
Anyway, back to the recap: Luna casts a truth spell on you which makes you say some very incriminating things when Nightshade pops out during this altercation, but Princess Luna calls for her execution. This leads to a confrontation in which you assault the Royals with the Royal Canterlot Voice to protect your daughter (it was also the first time you heard a *snap* followed by your eyes glowing orange and increased abilities whenever Nightshade is in danger) and escape with the help of Doctor Hooves and Derpy (but you also end up massively in debt to the Time Lord because of this) which leads to you ending up in the Everfree forest again.
"Have I mentioned yet that I really hate that forest? No? Well... I REALLY HATE THAT FOREST." You scream to the heavens in annoyance and hate for the forest you always get stuck in.
While in the forest, you decide to take up the hooded/coated identity of "The Hooded Offender" and rescue the Cutie Mark Crusaders from a Cockatrice and discover that Fluttershy remembers and is grateful to you for saving her and her friends ("Another friend! YAY!!!"). Unfortunately, a misunderstanding with Twilight (circumstances and misunderstandings keep causing the rest of the Mane 6 to still think you're a bad bug) leads to her blasting you to Manehattan where you awaken in Trixie's cart. You find out that "The Hooded Offender" is the most wanted fugitive in Equestria (nopony knows "The Hooded Offender" is a changeling though) and you hatch a scheme with Trixie to stage a fight in Ponyville where Trixie would "defeat" you so that she can collect the reward money, bail you out, and split it with you. When the day of the fight comes, you accidentally hurt Applejack which makes Applebloom hate you and Trixie stabs you in the back. You break out during an attack on the town by an Ursa Minor, but Trixie's cart gets smashed (you had Nightshade to stay in that cart to keep her safe...). Thinking that your daughter is dead causes the first appearance of the "Nightmare Cloak", a midnight-colored smoky cloak that appears around you and gives you a long smoky fox tail. You use the Nightmare Cloak to beat up the Ursa Minor and the Mane 5 in a despair-and-rage-fueled beatdown egged on by a dark whisper in your head.
"Became a superhero, which was awesome by the way! But every time I tried to say my introduction, I would always get zapped by Twilight, and I even got run over down by an insane TARDIS-colored pegasus mare named Lighting Chaser." You said in a annoyed ronw on how your super cool intro would always get interrupted.
You then sigh sadly as you say "As for the accidentally hurting Applejack, losing Applebloom's friendship, being betrayed by Trixie, and thinking my daughter was dead... I really don't want to talk about it. But I will say one thing, if Trixie ever tries to mess with me again... *snap* Then she better know how to run... fast." You say the last part in a deadly tone.
Fortunately, your daughter arrives in time to snap you out of it, but an Ursa Major (the mommy of the Ursa Minor) appears. You teleport the Mane 5 back to safety before Fluttershy helps you escape the Ursa Major and you emergency-teleport to the small western/desert town of Appleloosa. Appleloosa essentially becomes your new home as the townsfolk don't care that you're a changeling and your best friend there is a cowpony named Braeburn. After 8 weeks in Appleloosa, you run into the Mane 6 again and are forced to take up the mantle of "The Hooded Offender" in order to settle a dispute between the ponies and the local tribe of buffalo by making both side unite against you.
You smile at the memory of your home town as you say "The first day in Appaloosa was nice, Braeburn (my best friend now) told me that Appleloosa was a place of second chances, and boy was he right! The ponies, griffions, and the other residents of Appleloosa accepted me right on the spot and din't care I was a changeling (they'd even cover for me when out-of-towners came by)."
You chuckle at some funny memory's you have of your first couple of days in Appaloosa before you say "I had a great eight weeks there and even got a nickname! 'Bugze the Patcher' they called me, I would patch anything they needed patched with my duct tape, vice-grips, and WD-40. Of course, all good things have to come to a end eventually."
Your smile fades away as you say sadly "Not only were the mares (Applejack, Rainbow, Pinkie, Rarity, Twilight, and Fluttershy (I'm happy she's here at least...)) in town, but also Appleloosa and the buffalo tribe were going to war (I didn't even know the buffalo were a problem in the first place). After both sides sung a really species-ist war song, I decided that the only to stop the war was to give them a common enemy... Me. So after beating up/getting beaten up by the townsfolk, I decide to lay low."
You decided to lay low for awhile by hopping on the next train out of town, but the Mane 6 board the same train you're in! After another misadventure on the train involving the Mane 6 and a TARDIS-colored Pegasus mare named Lightning Chaser, you are forced to bail out of the train while it's still in motion and end up tumbling into the Everfree Forest. You encounter the Diamond Dogs who try to foalnap Nightshade to force her to mine gems for them, but one Nightmare Cloak-beatdown later and the Diamond Dogs make you, "The Hooded Offender", their new alpha. You dub your new minions "The Horde" and attempt to get them to think for themselves for the sake of good by giving them obviously idiotic orders in hopes they will reject them, but they blindly go along with the orders (while Spot frequently tries to kill you in hopes of becoming the new alpha and you obliviously manage to avoid all his coup attempts) which leads to them stealing 40 cakes (and that's terrible), capturing a squad of Royal Guard Ponies, and plotting to foalnap Princess Celestia and her pet bird, Philomena. From the captured ponies (which included Flash Sentry), you learn that Princess Cadance is going to be at something called "The Grand Galloping Gala" so you decide to take a break from your boneheaded minions and visit Fluttershy who asks you to help find Philomena (Fluttershy thought the bird was sick and took her to her home while nopony was looking) which leads to you getting caught by the solar monarch in a trap sprung by her and the other 5 mares (Fluttershy was NOT involved in the trap) in Ponyville. One confrontation later (which involved a failed hostage bluff which resulted in the captured Royal Guardponies being free again, you being set on fire by a Phoenix (Thank Luna your hooded coat is fireproof), "The Horde" surrendering to Princess Celestia, and you barely escaping via teleport), you decide to go to the Grand Galloping Gala in hopes of finding Cadance and having a few questions answered.
"Of course with Lady luck on my case, not only did I have to jump off a stinking train, but I also got minions I never wanted in the first place! Then I sang a song about a plan so crazy that it shouldn't have worked, yet I had idiot minions thinking the plan was actually good. Next thing I know, I'm in the middle of a plot to kind-nap the sun goddess and her pet bird!" You say in a shocked and annoyed tone.
"Then I give those numbskulls an obviously stupid order to launch a head-on assault a guard patrol, thinking they would mess up and learn to not listen to me. But, of course, they succeeded. They bring back the guards and I end up interrogating their leader, Strong Head and almost turned him from a unicorn stallion into an earth pony mare with vice-grips for his complete arrogant disregard for his stallions (I really hate arrogant braggarts)." You say though gritted teeth.
"I then get caught by Solar-flank herself via box trap (THE BOX BETRAYED ME!). I then try to bluff my way to safety by saying I could end her guards at any second, but Spot (who has been trying to kill me for awhile apparently) ruined it. Then I was set on fire by Celestia's pet bird (thank you fireproof coat), and I admit I may have went a little tiny bit loco and started chasing everyling... while laughing like a maniac... while on fire... and shouting how I would burn them alive and eat their burned flesh... Okay, maybe I went completely Cuckoo for Coco Puffs-" You chuckle in embarrassment before the narrator stops you by clearing it's throat.
*Ahem* You bought a suit and top hat and went to the Grand Galloping Gala under the alias of the gentlestallion, "El Hunko" along with Nightshade, who also wore a dress(you got tickets to the GGG from a mysterious "friend" who you never met who sends you letters that appear out of nowhere, and the mysterious friend has also given you The Inventory and your awesome Cloak). After some antics at the Gala (including an impromptu rock concert for which you changed from your "El Hunko" suit to your hooded coat), you finally meet Cadance who tells you about Nightmare Moon (Princess Luna believes that Nightshade is the reincarnation of Nightmare Moon which is why she's so determined to apprehend/end you and Nightshade), but before she can answer any more of your questions, her husband, Shining Armor, walks in forcing you to flee. However, Prince Blueblood (who've you humiliated several times during the Gala) gets his hooves on Nightshade which provokes you into kicking his flank. The battle escalates as more ponies get involved which culminates in the Nightmare Cloak reaching an unstable state as the dark whisper from before (who you call the "Dark Female Voice" or DFV) takes over and brutally knocks out almost everypony at the gala and critically damages the building, but with help from Cadance, Fluttershy, and Nightshade you are able to take back control from the DFV. Unfortunately, the gala starts to collapse and you sacrifice yourself so everypony could escape as the building crashes down on you...
"Ahhh the gala, now that was one of my best prank moments to be honest. I broke Flash's guitar on Blueblood's head, tripped Blueblood into some hot apple pie, zapped Celestia with a hoofbuzzer, planted a few "kick me" signs, put diarrhea-inducing powder in some of the food (the only food that Nightshade didn't devour), and even dropped every snobby monocle in the room with a rock concert!" You smile sadly as you say that because you didn't bring your camera with you so that you could forever have a picture of those nobles faces as they made a mad dash for the restroom.
You then sigh sadly as you say "But sadly the DFV inside me took control as I went into a very unstable and dangerous form of the Nightmare Cloak, where I grew devil horns and gained three fox tails. The DFV went crazy, claiming that she was my only friend and how I would spend eternity with her as she tried to kill everyling.*shiver* That was just creepy. Also, on a happier note, she managed to make sure Blueblood never could have foals by giving him what has been called The Ultimate Nutshot. I still feel a little bad for him, but he'll heal... Probably... Maybe..." He you say that last part in uncertainty.
NOT! You used the gala collapse to fake the death of "The Hooded Offender" and after donning your "El Hunko" suit, you visited Spike at Donut Joe's before boarding the next train to Appleloosa.
"I can now say that 'faking my own death' is now off my bucket list. Now if only 'eat 1,000 different cakes' could be as easy as that cause so far, I've only eaten 29." You say to yourself as you start to drool at all the delicious cakes flavors you could eat (Celestias love for cakes must be addictive).
Half a year later and you're now living in Appleloosa in a nice cozy house with Nightshade with nothing notable happening during those 6 months... With the exception of fighting off an army of Secretariat Comet-powered monsters, going to your own secret memorial service held by your fans ("I have fans, YES!!!"), and accidentally setting part of the apple orchard on fire (in retrospect, WD-40 probably isn't the best gardening tool). Life was good... Until a TARDIS blue envelope popped up in your mail one day and inside a letter from the Doctor saying,
Dear Bugze,
If you wish to pay off your debt without having to pay me all those bits. Then please come by Canterlot immediately.
From,
The Doctor
P.S. Derpy says hi
P.P.S. Derpy says you're going in a time out for making her think you're dead
After you read the letter, you could only say,
"Why do I get the feeling I'm going to get involved with alot of chaos and that I won't be in Appleoosa for a long time?" You say to yourself in both a deadpanned and worried tone.
To be continued in the actual season 2 episode 1
WARNING: BUGZE ONLY BREAKS THE FORTH WALL HERE AND NO WHERE ELSE IN THIS STORY!
You sigh for what feel like the hundredth time as you walk though the Everfree forest (you finally learned this stupid forest's name last month when you ran into the sign that said 'Everfree forest' at the forest entrance) towards Ponyville. Now I know what your thinking,
Why are you heading to the one place that has caused you nothing but trouble for the past year?
Well you see it's quite simple, yesterday you, Bugze the changeling, got a TARDIS-colored letter from the Doctor to come to Canterlot immediately so that you could pay off the 10,000,000,000,000,000 bits of debt you owe him (and also get a time out from Derpy for making her think you were dead). You decided that this would be a better way to pay off your debt than actually getting all those bits, so after a good night's sleep, breakfast, and telling Braeburn that you were off to visit a friend in Canterlot, you headed off.
Unfortunately for you, the train station in town has been closed for maintenance (you offered to help, you being "The Patcher" and all that, but they told you to leave it to the professionals) so you had to walk to the next train station to get a ride to Canterlot. Sadly, the closest train station is in Ponyville which is why you're now walking down the path in the Everfree forest towards it. You're sighing because you're supposed to be dead!
Ugh... I fake my own death to protect eneryling from what's inside of me so of course half a year later I have to go back into the thick of enemy territory through the worst forest in the world just to go to the front door of the sun and moon controlling goddesses who'd want me dead if they knew I was still alive! You'd think someone with a time machine which doubles as a spaceship would be able to meet somewhere more safe and convenient like an erupting volcano or the middle of a hoofball riot! Okay, game plan: get to the train station without anyling noticing me, hop on the next train to Canterlot ASABP (as soon as bucking possible), and lay low till Canterlot.
Right now you're wearing your "El Hunko" suit which is really annoyingly inconvenient for you since it's your best suit, but the suit's neck gait, pants, cape, and long sleeves do a good job of covering your changeling features (wings, fangs, holed limbs, etc.) since your shapeshifting power has repeatedly proven itself to be very unreliable. At least you're also wearing your favorite Stetson hat.
You also decided to pack some supplies just in case something happened on your way there. You've fought some of the creatures that live in this forest (a chickzard (which Nightshade would later inform you is actually a Cockatrice) and Ursa Minor to name a few and you even just defeated a pack of timberwolves a few minutes ago with just your staff), so you know that you should have some stuff with you. In addition to currently wearing your potion sash (Current Reserve: 2 Healing Potions and 3 Stink Bombs) around your chest beneath your suit and Nightshade is currently asleep in The Inventory (or her bedroom as she likes to call it), you are wearing The Inventory and you put this stuff in it:
INVENTORY Brown pouch with 80 Bits in it Your awesome hooded black coat (you may have retired as the Hooded Offender, but it never hurts to have a fireproof coat that has a hood that hides your face in darkness. Might come in handy) "How to be A Gentle Colt 101" book (A little class could go a long way) "Kung-Fu For Dummies" book (Learn some new moves on the trip to Canterlot) All Four Sherclop Holmes Novels and all fifty-six short stories (You've gotten up to the last book in the novel series "The Valley of Fear") Used History Textbook (You got it really cheap due to it being worn with many missing pages) "Animals, Nature, and You" book (Nightshade's taken a shine to learning about animals and nature so you brought it along so she can continue her homeschooling) Patching supplies (Vise-Grips, several rolls of duct tape, and several cans of WD-40. Never leave home without them) List of all your powers and spells Note with your debt to The Doctor Nightshade's crayon drawing of you (You would have put it in a frame, but this picture will always give you hope when you look at it, so you decided to keep it) Magic black staff with a red crystal on top of it (You're currently using it as a walking stick/thing-poker) Pink "Lover's Jewel" Necklace (you haven't found a safer place to put yet, so you decide to keep it) Orange Bandanna Purple Top Hat (Normally goes with the "El Hunko" suit, but your Stetson is just more comfortable)
As you're walking towards the forest exit (you can see the light at the end of the path... No you're not heading towards that kind of light) you start to think,
Huh, it's been so long since I've been to Ponyville. Maybe if I'm lucky I won't be chased, shot at, tackled, punched, bucked, or set on fire this time. I could even visit Flut-No... They can never know. Fluttershy, Zecora, can never kno-What the hay...?
You stop your mental rambling as you walk out of the forest to see an... interesting sight. There appear to be pink clouds raining a brown liquid (you have the weirdest hunch that those are cotton candy clouds raining chocolate milk), but what's really interesting is the fact that a hoard of rabbits with super long legs are chasing after a mint green unicorn...
You just stare blankly at the scene for a few seconds before saying...
"Why do I get the feeling that I'm somehow going to get blamed for this..."
First things first, let's try to get our bearings on the situatio- Is that a table and chairs made out of red velvet cake? So after you and Nightshade consumed the red velvet cake furniture (which turned into blue velvet cake halfway through) A few possibilities for how all this happened fly through your buggy head: - The Doctor's time machine is malfunctioning and it's bringing all of Equestria down with it. - Pinkie discovered how to use magic, and accidentally broke reality in an attempt to throw the biggest party the multiverse had ever seen. - Aliens from space have invaded and as a result, disrupted the fragile magic balance that keeps the world in check. - It's opposite day.
You stop and watch dumbfounded at this occurrence and proceed to go through the possible causes. After some thinking you decide that it's just mother nature, but a voice that sounds like Q from star trek continuously laughs at the back of your mind.
As you continue to stare at the strangeness in front of you with a dumbfounded look, you can't help but think,
You know, considering how I have a psychotic DFV (Dark Female Voice) inside me, a daughter that literally lives in a bottomless saddlebag, a mysterious 'friend' who gave me said saddlebag and my awesome faceless coat, and the fact that I've survived multiple situations that should be sudden death, you'd think I would be used to this kind of stuff by now...
As you think this a frog and a snake that have been blown up like balloons, as well as a giant lizard with a butt for a face go by you.
But this... this is just plain nuts.
As you continue to look around the area you see crazier and crazier things. Like a giant lion head attached to a octopus body, a walking pitcher of some sort of red drink smashing through walls, a blue hedgehog running super fast while wearing red shoes, and even a stinking green ghost ship flying though the air. You can't help but think,
What could have caused this? Is reality caving in on us? Have I been trapped in someling's personal toy box? Is The Doctor's TARDIS malfunctioning and it's bringing all of Equestria down with it?! Has the laws of physics finally taken too much strain and are failing? Is it opposite day? Did I get drunk again (last time you got smashed... let's just say Appaloosa was condemned for almost a month, you were put in a straightjacket, and you had a MASSIVE hangover)? Oh no... PINKIE TURNED INTO AN ALICORN! THE END IS NEIGH! THE END IS NE*smack*
You slap yourself mid thought as you try to calm down.
Focus bug! There's noway an earth pony, or anypony actually, can become a alicorn. That just sounds like a cheap way to sell toys.
In another dimension, millions of middle aged men and women nod their heads in agreement. After finally calming yourself down, you begin to think,
Okay, so the world is either turning upside down or I've gone crazy. That's fine, that's okay. It's probably just mother nature and every other deity out there having some fun. Yeah, that's it...
For some reason you hear what sounds like Q from Star Trot laugh in your mind. You shrug it off as your imagination as you think,
I just need to-is that a table and chairs made out of red velvet cake?
Your thoughts are interrupted as you see the tasty looking furniture in front of you. Nightshade, waking up now of all times (when you want that filly awake, she's out like a light, but when you don't expect her to wake up she's a ball of energy), sees the velvet cake furniture in front of her and says,
"Daddy... are we in delicious heaven?"
You nod your head dumbly as you say,
"Honey... it's time to join the madness, BANZAI!"
And with that, you and Nightshade dive into the red velvet furniture.
Drink the chocolate milk! All of the chocolate milk! All of it!
Nightshade pops out and starts drinking the chocolate milk rain (while also being upset that she can't fly to eat the cotton candy clouds) before joining in on devouring the chocolate-milk-filled cotton candy clouds, popcorn field, and giant apples (it's been a while since breakfast so you join her, but the apples taste different with every bite for some reason)
MULTIPLE FURNITURE MADE OF SWEETS AND OTHER STRANGE FOODS LATER
After eating the red velvet furniture (which turned into blue velvet halfway though for some reason), you and Nightshade continued to devour the strange food that was popping up. From apples twice the size of your head (that changed taste with each bite for some reason), to the rain which you can now confirm is chocolate milk (you even heard a deep-voiced pile of apples singing about it... somehow before Nightshade pounced on it and devoured it mid-song). But what was really strange is that whenever you or Nightshade thought of a food you wanted, you would hear a laugh and then that food would pop up! You shrugged it off as the weird new world's logic. You put a now asleep Nightshade (she fell asleep inside a giant Cookie Cake Pie which was just adorable) back into her bedroom and you're about to leave for the train station (which, from what you can see, is the only thing not touched by all this craziness) when...
You turn around about to walk away until you hear a scream.
You shout, "IT MUST BE RABBIT SEASON!" and No Shadow Kick into the hoard of rabbits chasing the unicorn, scattering them. You turn to the unicorn as smile, saying "If only there were some ducks around, too." She looks at you blankly. You chuckle. "'Cause then you could say, 'No, it's duck season.' And then I say 'Rabbit season!' And you say, 'Duck season' again. And..." She quirks an eyebrow at you. You sigh. "Just got back and I'm already 0-for-1 on the references. Brilliant."
"SOMEPONY HELP ME!!"
You turn around in alarm as you see the mint green unicorn still getting chased by the rabbits with long legs. You chuckle in embarrassment as you think,
Oops, forgot about her.
You run and jump between the unicorn and the rabbits with long legs, causing the pony and rabbits to stop in shock at your appearance. You smile as you shout,
"IT MUST BE RABBIT SEASON! NO SHADOW KICK!"
And with that you jump forward with a flurry of kicks at the rabbits. The kicks do their job as you send most of the rabbits flying back. But, there're still two left and they charge at you. You smirk as you shout
"CAUSE YOU'RE GOING EXTINCT! FALCON PUNCH!"
With that you slam the flame-encased punch into the first charging bunny, sending it smashing into the bunny behind it and they both go flying into the sky and off into the distance. You give a small chuckle as you look over to the dumbfounded unicorn as you say,
"Now if only there were some ducks with hooves around, too."
You chuckle some more at your joke, until you notice the unicorn giving you a blank look, so you then say,
"Cause then you could say, 'No, it's duck season.' And then I say 'Rabbit season!' And you say, 'Duck season' again. And..."
You stop trying to explain your joke as the unicorn mare just tilts her head and raises an eyebrow at you in confusion. You sigh in defeat and mutter,
"Just got back and I'm already 0-for-1 on the references. Brilliant. Where's Flash when you need him..."
Lyra says something about humans, hands, and/or worries about where Bon Bon is
The unicorn mare just gives you a strange look before smiling and saying,
"Thanks for saving me dude, name's Lyra." the now named Lyra looks around worriedly and asks "Hey, have you seen a mare earth pony around here named Bon Bon?"
You look behind her as you say,
"Does she have a beige coat and a pigment blue mane with a rose pink streak?"
She looks as you surprised and says,
"Yeah! That's exactly what she looks like! Do you know where she is?"
You simply point behind her in response. She looks confused before she turns around and sees... the mare she was talking about floating away. The mare looks down and screams,
"LYRA, HELP ME!"
Lyra gasps in shock and horror before she starts to run after the mare as she shouts,
"HOLD ON BONNY, I'MA COMING!"
You just stare blankly at her retreating form as you say...
You decide that A this isn't your problem
"Okay, I'm not gonna get involved in that, she can handle saving... 'Bonny.' As for me..." You turn to the train station as you say, "I have a train to catch before something happens to it like.. I don't know, suddenly turning blue, growing a face, and starts taking orders from some fat guy in a top hat."
After a brunch break, get on a train to Canterlot, only for the Mares to also be on that train
ONE HOUR LATER
You stare intently at the book you're reading as you are walking down the hall to the train's bathroom (what is with you and needing to go to the bathroom on trains?). You paid for your ticket (66 Bits left), got on the train an hour ago, and you've been reading "The Valley of Fear" the entire time. You're at the climax of the book, so when you had to... ahem "go" you decided to just read the book on your way there, As you're reading the book, you don't notice the pony in front of you levitating a bunch of scrolls. You're about to look up, *thud* but it's too late. You and the pony collide, sending the pony's scrolls and your book across the train floor. You both mutter apologies before beginning to pick up the scrolls. As you hoof the last scroll to the pony, the pony hoofs you your book. As you look up you say,
"Thank yo-" You stop mid sentence as you see...
Twilight Sparkle giving you a apologetic smile. All you can do is stare at her blankly with a feeling that you're going to have to do alot of running soon. As you continue to stare, you can't help but think in a grim tone,
Here we go again...
What do you do?
[FIXED] Episode 3: Meeting The Deadly Five...Again
Well, you still needed that restroom break, so you'll use that excuse. If it weren't occupied that is... New plan! Distract yourself from your bladder and talk interesting books!
As you continue to stare at Twilight, you begin to think of ways to get out of this situation... and by that I mean you're mentally panicking like a little school filly who forgot her essay that accounted for 70% of the class grade.
WHAT DO I DO! WHATDOIDO! I finally manage to get her off my case, and now she's right in front of me! What if she finds out I'm a changeling! I'm only wearing the El Hunko suit for Luna's sake! Oh no.... what if she somehow finds out that I'm the Hooded Offender! Who knows how much trouble I'll get in if she found out! I... I would have to face those Luna-awful fillyfoolers again! Oh not good, not good, NOT GOOD!!!
Your back legs begin to buckle in fear at just the thought of those two mares. Out of all the Deadly Five (a little nickname you made up for them after you almost got squashed by a huge number five sign back in Appleloosa), Applejack and Rainbow Dash are the ones that scare you the most. There was just this creepy look in their eyes whenever they were chasing you or beating you to a pulp that just terrified you. That and the fact that they're the strongest of the five doesn't help. Twilight seems to notice your buckling legs and asks,
"Hey sir, are you okay? You're shaking."
You're snapped out of your mental panic/rambling when she says that as you quickly cough into your sleeve before quickly blurting out in a panicked tone,
"What? I'm not shaking. You're the one that's shaking. In fact everypony is shaking and I'm the only one who's not shaking. Yeah that's it..hahahahahah LEAVE ME ALONE!"
Twilight just looks at you strangely with an expression that says 'you're out of your mind'. You realize what you just said as you chuckle nervously before saying,
"Eheheh, uh... what I meant to say was... uhhhhh. *ding*"
You suddenly get an idea as you remember why you bumped into Twilight in the first place as you say,
"Ah, you see I'm shaking because I really need to go-" You stop mid sentence as you see someling walk right into the bathroom that's down the hall. You can't help but stare in shock and horror as you think,
Why lady luck... why must you torture me with your sadistic ways. CURSE YOU! CURSE YOU YOU BATHROOM DENIER!
Twilight looks at you confused as you angrily shake your hoof towards the sky. She just shakes her head as she says,
"Go where,exactly?"
You stare blankly at Twilight, before you suddenly blurt out,
"HEY DO YOU LIKE THE BOOK I'M READING?" and shove the book in her face.
Twilight recoils in surprise at your outburst (you think she would have run away screaming by now, but obviously she must have seen some freaky stuff if she's... Oh yeah, she saw the Hooded Offender), but then she smiles as she says...
She gasps. "Ooh, the Valley of Fear. I still can't believe that Mare-riarity kills--" You shove your hooves to your ears. "Ya-ta-ta-ta-I'm-not-listening-ya-ta-ta!" "Oh! Me and my big mouth, I'm so sorry. Well, I hope we all get to Canterlot safe and sound. With all this craziness around, who knows what could happen next? You know what I mean, right? I mean, look at your suit. Rarity would have a heart attack if she saw you." With that, Twilight walks away. You bury your face in your hooves. Of course the other mares are here. And even in the El Hunko suit, Twilight didn't like you. You're going to need all of your cunning if you want to avoid the rest of them. ... You're doomed.
"Oh, the Valley of Fear. I love this book! I still can't believe that Mare-riarity kills-"
Your eyes widen in shock as you quickly shove your hooves to your ears and loudly say,
"Ya-ta-ta-ta-I'm-not-listening-ya-ta-ta!"
Twilight looks at you confused (for the eighth hundredth today), before she realizes about to say and shes facehoofs as she says,
"Oh! Me and my big mouth, I'm so sorry. Well, I hope we all get to Canterlot safe and sound. With all this craziness around, who knows what could happen next? You know what I mean, right? I mean, look at your suit. Rarity would have a heart attack if she saw you."
You bury your face in your hooves as Twilight continues to give you a innocent smile. You then think in despair,
Of course the other mares are here. It wouldn't be the Deadly Five if the other four weren't-. Wait, then that means... Fluttershy is here! It'll be great to see her agai-Oh yeah, the whole 'supposed to be dead' thing. *sigh* There goes that idea...
You then remember that Twilight is still in front of you, so you quickly excuse yourself as you head back to your seat on the other side of the train (sadly being forced to hold back your bladder all the way there). As you walk back to your train cart, you bump into another pony, as you look up to see who it is, you see...
Oh, and Rarity makes a comment about your garish and clashing suit and hat at some point.
Rarity confronts you and you panic and think you're cover's blown... but then she comments on the fashion faux pas you committed by wearing a suit with a stetson. She then recognizes you from the Grand Galloping Gala... As the gentlepony who told off Prince Blueblood before "accidentally" knocking him into the wall. Maybe you should get out the "How to be A Gentle Colt 101" book...
Rarity giving you a horrified look. No, seriously, she has head recoiled in fear, hoof over mouth in fright, and she's shaking uncontrollably. You start to panic as you think that she has figured out that you were a changeling (somehow). Before you get a chance to say anything, she points at you and screams in pure terror,
"SWEET CELESTIA, LOOK AT THAT OUTFIT! YOU LOOK LIKE A HILLBILLY TRYING TO PASS AS A NOBLESTALLION!"
Your raise your hooves up defensively as you say,
"Wait, I can expl-wait...what!?"
It takes you a few seconds to realize what Rarity screamed at you and when you do, you look at her strangely as you say in your gentleclot voice (you figured that since it's Rarity, it would be better to just talk to her like the "How to be A Gentle Colt 101" taught you to talk)
"Madam... are you mortified at my attire? I mean it's just a beautifully hoof-crafted custom suit and a dashing stetson. And allow me to disclose to you. madam, that this stetson is far more comfortable on my head then my purple top hat this suit is normally accompanied by."
Rarity continues to look at you in horror, but slowly that look changed from horror to realization as she says,
"Wait a minute, that suit, a purple top hat, that magnificent gentlecolt voice, aren't you-"
Before she gets a chance to finish, you notice that one of the bathroom doors open. So, deciding that your bladder control was more important, you tell Rarity,
"Sorry Madam, but my tank needs emptying!"
And with that you charge towards the bathroom. Sadly you're too late as another stallion beats you to it. And by the sounds coming from the other side of the door, you don't think you'll be using that bathroom... ever again.
After you painstakingly comb the train to make sure Lightning Chaser is not on this train and history is not repeating itself, lock yourself in the bathroom until the train ride is over. However, after 30 minutes or so, a very rude mare begins slamming her hooves on the door until you throw it open and tell the mare to give you some privacy. You quickly cover your mouth when you see the face of a familiar rainbow-maned fillyfooler.
You decide to distract yourself from your bladder by searching the train for Lightning Chaser, You know it's unlikely that the crazy pegasus would be here (last you heard of her, she was wanted by the Griffion Empire for burning down a shine dedicated to M. Night Shyamalamadingdong (which you are glad that happened)) but you just want to make sure history isn't repeating itself. After finding no sign of her (and almost running into Fluttershy, but luckily you got squashed behind a huge white pegasus with tiny wings before she saw you. It was a very... interesting experience for sure) you look for an open bathroom. After searching for a few minutes, you finally found an unoccupied one. Begging lady luck to give you a break, you make a mad dash for the bathroom. Thankfully, you get there before anyling else and you begin to do your businesses.
Okay Bugze, when you get back to your seat (or even when you get on the can), just stay calm and read the "Kung-Fu For Dummies" book and learn: Psycho Crusher: Launch yourself forward and spin like a bullet while covered in orange energy to knock through groups of enemies or flimsy windows, doors, or even really thin walls (Warning: Improper use of this technique can lead to headaches or concussions) AND/OR Izuna Drop: Embrace a midair opponent before pointing both of you headfirst towards the ground, Then fall while spinning so opponent slams headfirst into the ground.
As you are taking care of "business", you decide to read "Kung-Fu For Dummies" since you figured it would never hurt to know a few new moves to protect yourself and Nightshade. As you're flipping though the book, a move catches your eye. It's called Psycho Crusher. Now this is probably your inner DFV talking, but based on the name and description, this move sounds awesome!
I think my head has been hit and smashed enough times that it won't hurt too much if I use it improperly...
You familiarize yourself with the steps on how to perform the attack, and you make a mental note to practice later.
Learned "Psycho Crusher"
Just as you're about to continue reading the book for more moves, someling starts banging on the bathroom door. You try to ignore it at first, but you can't take it anymore as banging has been going on for ten minutes. So with a annoyed sigh, you "finish", get up, and walk over to the door. You swing it open angrily as you yell,
"WHAT DO YOU BLOODY WANT, THIS TOILET IS... oc... cu... pied."
You stop yelling as you see who was banging the door...
A very mad looking rainbow-maned fillyfooler. You stare at each other for another minute or so, before Rainbow suddenly picks you up and throws you out of the way as she yells, "OUTTA THE WAY!" and dashes into the restroom and slams the door. You just stare dumbfounded at the (now closed) bathroom door, and you can only think,
Weirdest. Déjà vu. Ever!
As you stare one of your many pony-equivalents of death in the eyes, you suddenly get a flashback to your Grandbuggy and his words of wisdom. "Now take it from me Bugzy, mares are trouble; never had any good that came outta them." "But what about me? How would I have been born if you didn't meet someling you really liked." Then he just stared blankly at you and sighed. "Bugzy... one day I'll tell you where hatchlings come from, but until then, just remember: When confronted with a mare, stay cool, calm and collected. Don't do anything that would anger them, just slowly back away. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to hide more money in the walls of this rickety shack. *end flashback "He never did tell me where hatchlings come from." You mutter to yourself, gaining an odd glance from Twilight. "Okay, just remember what he told me; cool, calm and-" Then the rest of the mane 6 show up behind Twilight "Oh screw it." "AAAAAAAAHH!" you fall onto your back screaming like a little filly. Twilight :"What is it?! Are you okay?!" Rarity :"Not with that outfit he's not" AJ: "Ya'll got a problem with stetsons?" "AAAAAAAHH!" You scream again, this time pointing a trembling hoof at them. Somehow they think that means somethings behind them is causing you to scream, and they all turn around. Seeing your opportunity to escape, you quickly get to you hooves and run, still screaming your head off. ... "aaaaaaaahh."
You get smacked in the face by the door in front of you, knocking you down. You slowly remove your head from being apart of the wooden menace as you mutter,
"One of these days, I'll walk through a door that doesn't smash my face...."
As you're muttering, you don't notice an orange cowpony walk out from behind the door that was slammed into your face. You finally notice her when she says,
"Ah, sorry pardner, I didn't know ya'll were behind the door, you okay?"
You just stand there and stare at her (you're almost as bad as the buffalo when it comes to staring lately) as you begin to have a mini panic attack. As you stare one of your many pony-equivalents of death in the eyes, you suddenly get a flashback to your Grandbuggy and his words of wisdom.
"Now take it from me Bugzy, mares are trouble; ain't never had any good that came outta them."
"But what about me? How would I have been born if you didn't meet someling you really liked?"
He just stared blankly at you and sighed before continuing,
"Bugzy... one day I'll tell you where hatchlings come from, but until then, just remember: When confronted with a mare, stay cool, calm and collected. Don't do anything that would anger them, just slowly back away. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to hide more money in the walls of this rickety shack.
"He never did tell me where hatchlings come from." You mutter to yourself, gaining an odd glance from Applejack before you think,
Okay, just remember what he told me; cool, calm and-
Suddenly Rainbow, Rarity, Pinkie, and Twilight show up behind Applejack. You could more-or-less keep your nerves when interacting with them individually, but now that all five of the Deadly Five are here, you can't help just sigh in defeat and think,
Ah, to hay with it.
And with that you take in a deep breath as you start to... scream for your mommy
"AAAAAAAAHH!"
All the mares recoil at your sudden screaming and Twilight worriedly asks,
"What is it?! Are you okay?!"
Rarity just scoffs as she says "Not with that combination he's not"
"Ya'll got a problem with stetsons?" Applejack responds while glaring at Rarity.
"Oh! Maybe he saw that REALLY bad short flick about the two fillies and a cup!" Pinkie rambles.
"AAAAAAAHH!" You scream again, this time pointing a trembling hoof at them. Somehow they think that means something's behind them and they all turn around. Seeing your opportunity to escape, you quickly get back on your hooves and run, still screaming your head off. You then find a closet that you hide in for the fest of the trip to Canterlot...
2 HOURS LATER
Two hours later finds you approaching the castle. If you're wondering why, well you see, as soon as you got off the train, a TARDIS-colored envelope smacked into your face. After you finally managed to tear it off you (literally. It came to life when it hit you and started to trying to devour your face. Yeah... you no longer trust envelopes anymore), you opened it and read the letter inside,
Dear Bugze,
Hello again old chap, The Doctor here. Now I need you to go to the Canterlot castle please. When you get there, find a hallway that is full of window paintings. I'll contact you after you get there. Also, I need you to wear the Hooded Offender Coat as well. From, The Doctor
P.S. Derpy says hi and you're still getting that time-out.
P.P.S. Can you please make sure that Nightshade doesn't eat ALL the jelly babies this time?
P.P.P.S. If by some small chance the envelope eats you, Derpy probably got the-. Then again, if the envelope ate you you wouldn't be reading this right now would't you... nevermind.
After you read it, you reluctantly started to head to the castle. Back to the present, you finally got there after you had to ice-skate/slip down the road to get there after the ground turned into soapy ice. When you got to the castle, you were surprised to see that the gates were open! You just shrug your shoulders as you sneak inside. Once you were in the courtyard, you hid in a bush as you changed from your "El Hunko" suit to your awesome coat. As you put up the hood, you can't help but think...
How in the name of Luna am I even gonna get in there?
First, think of what you know won't work: -The MGS box has failed you 3 for 3 so it's out. -Applejack can sense changeling disguises so knocking out a guard and taking his/her identity probably won't work. -Calling out your moves in combat: Good. Calling out your moves while sneaking... not so much (learned that the hard way when you tried to infiltrate a temple of ninja mules by dressing up like pirates and doing a musical number about how stealthy you are... In broad daylight... During a weapons demonstration... While masters from other temples were visiting. Understandably, it wase first (and only) time your ex-Queen ever allowed you to lead a squad)
You decide to go over everything you know won't work in sneaking into the castle.
Let's see, the Metal Gear Solid box has failed three to three now so that's out (plus I don't see any boxes or crates anywhere nearby). I doubt Twilight cast that changeling detection spell on Applejack considering that I'm 'dead', but I'll play it safe for once and I won't disguise myself as anyling here. Also, calling out my attack moves in combat: good. Doing that while sneaking around: Not so good. Learned that the hard way...
A couple of years ago, you lead a squad of changelings to infiltrate a temple of ninja mules by dressing up like pirates and doing a musical number about how stealthy you are... In broad daylight... During a weapons demonstration... While masters from other temples were visiting. Predictably it all went to Tartarus really quickly (you somehow got a pair of nunchuku, a sai, a katana, a few shrunken, and even a staff lodged into several parts of your body) and your ex-Queen had to personally come in and save your dumb flank. Understandably, it was the first (and only) time your ex-Queen ever allowed you to lead a squad in the field.
As you try to think of a way to sneak into the castle, you suddenly have a...
Remember another piece of sagely advice from your Gandbuggy. "N-now 'hic' Bugshy, big ol' 'hic' plashes never gaurd za looooooosh... And loooooosh mean 'hic' breweries, for full bladdersh. Now help me tie up my 'hic' parashute"
A flashback of your grandbuggys sagely advice...
"N-now *hic* %*^^$^, big ol' *hic* plashes never gaurd za looooooosh... And loooooosh mean *hic* breweries, for full bladdersh. Now help me tie up my *hic* parashute so that I *hic* jump off this here cliff."
You never did understand what grandbuggy was trying to do. You and grandbuggy weren't even anywhere near a cliff! You were both inside the hive at the time and the "parachute" your grandbuggy was referring to was the queen's favorite pillow... at least what was left of it (let's just say grandbuggy really didn't like fluffy things and leave it at that). Of course you got this advice after your grandbuggy got drunk (he's almost as bad as you when he gets drunk... almost). But now you understand it... the 'sneaking into the castle though the brewery' part at least. So, with your new plan in mind, you hop out of the bush you where in and begin to stealthy sneak around the courtyard to look for a entrance to the "brewery".
5 MINUTES LATER
After five minutes of searching, you finally found the entrance to the "brewery" at the back of the castle. You use the term loosely because when you got in by sneaking in though a cellar door, instead of finding barrels of liquor you found that the entire room is filled to the brim with coffee. When you got out though another door on the other side of the room that led into the castle, you found a sign that read...
"CAUTION: PRINCESS LUNA IS NOT ALLOWED IN HERE, KEEP HER OUT AT ALL COSTS! FAILURE TO KEEP HER OUT WILL RESULT IN DESTRUCTION TO THE PALACE AND BODILY HARM TO THE PRINCESS BODY!"
When you read that you could't help but think,
What the?... Is Luna addicted to coffee or something?
You also couldn't help but think of this image and laugh like a maniac at it. After you're done laughing at the image, you begin to use your Pony's Creed skills as you begin to look around for the room full of window paintings. You look to your left to see a really long hallway, to your right is... another long hallway. You sigh as you look in front of you to see... another stinking long hallway! You sigh again and decide to use the best way to decide which way to go,
"Eenie meenie miney moe...."
12 MINUTES LATER
Your ingenious plan of deciding which way to go has led you to choose the left hallway. however as you're sneaking around, you...
While you walk through the castle and sneak through the corridors on the way to the hall of triumphs (that's what I'm calling that room with all the stained glass windows), you hear a splash. looking down you notice a large pool of water forming, as well as a lot of commotion coming from further down one of the hallways. Deciding to see what's up, you find a mouse in a wizard's cap doing battle with an army of walking brooms as they poor water all over the floor.
Step in a puddle of water?
"What in the name of Luna?"
You look down in confusion as you see that the hallway is now flooding. Deciding to see what's going on, you follow the flow of the water to a closed door a little further down the hall. You are hesitant to open the door out of fear of getting soaked, but you bug up and open the door and see... a pony-sized mouse wearing a red robe and a blue wizard hat with white stars on it fighting off living brooms that have hands that are throwing buckets of water at the mouse. As you continue to stare, you can't help but mumble,
"What in the name of Luna am I seeing?"
You rub your eyes to see if you're imaging it all and when you look again you are saddened to see that you're still looking at the strange scene. Finally deciding that you've had enough of this strangeness and chalking it all up to whatever is causing all the other strange stuff that's been happening, you slowly turn around and whisper "Nope" as you quickly run away to the right hallway.
17 MINUTES LATER
Your Grandbuggery and his sagely advice rings in your ears "Listen up Bugze, the best way to make everyling turn tail and abandon a place, like an amusement park or a castle, is to pretend to be a ghost, that way no one will bother you as you sneak about looking for treasure. As long as you don't run into any stoners, prom royalty, turtlenecked fillyfoolers or talking dogs, your plan will be foolproof. Damned kids and their dog, I would've gotten away with it too..." The best way to cover your coat would be to find the royal kitchen (or any kitchen for that matter) and cover yourself in flour. That way if you are ever found out, you can claim to be the ghost of the Hooded Offender and scare everyone away. This plan is Genius!!!
You find yourself opening another door along the right hallway. You've been doing this stealthy for awhile now, hoping to find the hall full of window art the Doctor told you to meet him at. The door you just opened appears to lead to the royal kitchen. As you scan the room for any useful items, you spot a bag of flour in the corner of the room. Suddenly you get a great idea as some more of your grandbuggy's advice comes back to you...
"Listen up Bugze, the best way to make everyling turn tail and abandon a place, like an amusement park or a castle, is to pretend to be a ghost, that way noling will bother you as you sneak about looking for treasure. As long as you don't run into any stoners, prom royalty, turtlenecked fillyfoolers, or talking dogs, your plan will be foolproof. And I would have gotten away with it too, if it hadn't been for those meddling kids..."
Yeahhhh... you had to bail your grandbuggy out of jail for, and you quote "disturbing the peace by dressing up as a ghost and scaring hatchlings away from the park so that he could dig up old bug Mack's buried treasure" and you had a hard time explaining to your ex-queen's royal guards on where he got the flamethrower. Anyway, deciding to take your grandbuggy's advice you walk over to the bag of flour, pick it up, and after whispering a 'sorry' to your cloak, you dump the whole bag on your head. After looking into a nearby mirror to see if it worked (and it did as you recoiled in fright from your ghostly reflection) you continue looking for the window art hallway.
10 MINUTES LATER
Use your knowledge from Pony's Creed to sneak around the castle without getting caught! However, when you try to jump into a hay barrel the hay doesn't cushion you as much as it does in the game... Ow!
You are walking towards another door, when you suddenly hear hoof steps coming towards you. Thinking quickly, you run towards a nearby open window and dive out of it. You did this because you saw a pile of hay at the bottom of the three floor drop. You smile as you approach the hay barrel knowing it will be a soft landin-
*BONK* "Ow!"
You say in pain as you land on your face. You slowly get up as you mumble angrily,
"I refuse to believe that this wouldn't work in real life, so I will blame lady luck until someling tells me otherwise."
When you finally get up, you begin to head back to where you think the cellar entrance to the 'brewery', but as you're walking back, you look up and see...
Sneak around the castle until you see the stained glass windows from the outside. They're sort of high off the ground, so shoryuken yourself up there. As you gaze at the windows from the outside, you think for a second that the paintings on the windows seem to be moving. As you walk along the rooftop, trying to get a closer look, you accidentally slip and slide friendly towards the window. Bracing for impact, you crash through the window and find yourself starting at six surprised mares and one shocked Sun-goddess. You just stare back. "Well, excuse me, I was just trying to deliver some exposition here," a distinctive voice snaps. You turn toward the voice to see a Dragon-like creature with assorted body parts from other animals (post a link here or something) starting at you from the stained glass. "Oh my," he says as he suddenly gets an idea. "You wouldn't happen to be the hooded offender, would you? I've heard a lot about you during my imprisonment. Aren't you just a brilliant little chaos-creator, not half bad for an amateur."
That the window art hallway is just a few feet away from you! You wonder how you missed that, but decide to worry about it later. For now you need to find a quicker way up there then the "brewery" way. You suddenly get a super dumb idea, but since your dumb ideas usually work, you decide to go for it. Putting your plan into action, you whisper "Psycho Crusher!" and send yourself spinning towards the windows. As you're heading towards the windows you swear you saw the paintings in the windows move, but you just shrug it off. But sadly for you, you realize the one flaw in your plan:
You have no bucking idea how to stop yourself. As you're about to hit the window you can't help but think,
I really hope the princess has insurance...
*crash* *shatter* *tumble* "What the!"
"Oh my!"
"What in tarnation!"
"Is this a surprise!?"
"Sweet me!"
"Hey!"
As you look up from your crash, you see the Deadly Five, Fluttershy, and Celestia staring at you in shock and horror. You look at them in fear as you think,
Please tell me the whole "flour ghost" plan worked.
You're about to say something when you hear someling shout in annoyance,
"Hey, I'm trying to deliver some exposition here!"
"Oh my..." he says with his annoyance turning into a look of mischievousness in his eyes. "You wouldn't happen to be the ghost of the Hooded Offender, wouldn't you? I've heard a lot about you during my imprisonment. Aren't you just a brilliant little chaos-creator, not half-bad for an amateur. Especially that little show you put on during the Bland Boring Ball, which was just delicious! Tell me, how did you create those wonderful tails?"
As you look at the creature in both awe and confusion, you can't help but think...
Twilight glares at you in frustration. "Oh great! This is just what we need right now!" her voice dripping with sarcasm. "First the Elements get stolen by Mr. Mish-mash over here," she motions to Discord, who casually waves at you all "And then you show up! Why are you even here?! You were supposed to be deader than Batmare's parents!" Rainbow chidingly shakes her head "Too soon Twi." "Well... I umm... ya see..." you stammer as you try to think of an answer that isn't ridiculous. Then you remember your now white cloak and an idea dings on inside your head. "I aaaaamm a Ghost noooooowwww!" You say in your best spooky voice "Aaaaallll of yooooouuu are the reason I diiiiieeeed. And nooowww I must haunt you for aaaaaalll eternity (Except on weekends and holidays)." Twilight stares blackly at you before breaking into a smirk. "Oh please. Do you honestly think anyone would believe-" She is then cut off by her friends screaming in terror. She turns around and you look past her to see the re-mane 5 huddled together in fear. Pinkie in particular is throwing bars of silver and cloves of garlic at your general direction, and Fluttershy (bless her fragile heart) is crying while begging for forgiveness for partially causing your noble sacrifice.
This goat lizard monster thing looks evil, try to shift the blame to him, which he will find hilarious and laugh. You: Wooooooo....I am the ghost of the Hooded Offender...And I have come back with a warning!!!! Pinkie: (Interrupting) You're not the Hooded Offender. His coat was black, you're white. You: (Annoyed) Pink one, Shut Up! I'm a Freaking Ghost! Have you Ever Seen a Black Ghost Before? AJ: Ya, that definitely sounds like him You: Now I gotta Start Over....Wooooooo....I've come back with a warning! Rainbow Dash: Do you really have to use that voice? Pinkie: Ya, it's kind of annoying (Something in your brain pops since she's the one who said it) You: Fine! (Annoyed) I've come back to warn you about... Pinkie: What's the Warning?! You: Shut up for five seconds and I'll tell you! Pinkie: Oops, Sorry. You: I mean, it's bad enough you killed me, but now I can't get a word in edgewise! Rainbow Dash: Ya Quiet Pinkie, I want to hear what ghost jerk has to say You: Thanks...(Ahem) now beware of... Pinkie: Is this it? You: Alright that's it...you're all haunted! Rainbow Dash: Oh great, thanks Pinkie!
You just stare at the mismashed monster in confusion as you think,
Imprisonment? Chaos-creator? Amateur? Delicious? What is this guy talking about? Why does he think chaos is delicious? How does he know about me if he was imprisoned? What's in the boxxx? Why am I asking all these questions? Find out next time on-Wait, no, stop it brain! This isn't a cliffhanger episode of some corny serial flick and this... thing, is giving me bad vibes. Something about him is just... off. And that's not just because of the fact that he could be his own personal zoo. I really hope he doesn't try to attack me...
You get snapped out of your mental rambling when you hear a now red-faced Twilight yell in annoyance and anger,
"Ahhhhh! You've got to be kidding me! This is just what we need!" Her voice drips of sarcasm as she says that. She then takes a deep breath as she says in a still annoyed tone,
"First the Elements get stolen by Mr. Mish-mash over here," she motions to the mishmash creature, who casually waves at you all as he starts to chuckle before Twilight points a angry hoof at you as she continues, "And now you show up! Why are you even here?! You're supposed to be deader than Batmare's parents!"
You, Rainbow, Fluttershy, and even the strange creature wince at her comment as Rainbow says, "Too soon Twi, too soon."
You, the mish-mash creature, and Fluttershy all nod your heads solemnly. You then realize that Twilight just asked you how you're alive, so you start to mumble nervously,
"I... well... you see... about that." *ding*
You then remember your flour-covered cloak and a idea forms in your head that should get the Deadly Five and Celestia off your back. You think of your best ghost voice as you say,
"Wooooooo... I am the ghost of Hearth's Warming Eve Pas- I mean the Hooded Offender! And I have come back with a warninggggggg."
Pinkie looks at you strangely before she says, "You're not the Hooded Offender. His coat was black, you're white."
You sigh in annoyance at Pinkie's comment as you say in annoyance,
"Pink pycho, shut up! I'm a bucking ghost! Have you ever seen a black ghost before? No... I didn't think so. Now please shut your babbling yapper so that I can give my warning!"
That might have been harsher than it needed to be, but that mare just really gets on you nerves sometimes. Pinkie looks at you strangely before she starts laughing as she says,
"Hahahah, you're right. A ghost can't be black. Unless of course that ghost jumped into a batch of chocolate. Then that ghost could be black. Oh wait, the ghost could just phase the chocolate off of them. And chocolate is brown anyway, but I mean come ON! It's chocolate, who wouldn't want to be covered in-mamma mmmamdmowm mphhhh mamms"
Thankfully Pinkie's rant is ended when Applejack sticks her hoof in Pinkie's mouth, shutting her yapper. Applejack then turns to glare at you as she says,
"Ya, that definitely sounds like that varmint. Rude, obnoxious, and creepy."
The strange creature (still in the glass, but is now eating popcorn... while pouring chocolate hot sauce on it?) chuckles as he says,
"Ohhh, I was right. You are a fellow chaos maker! I know we are just gonna be the best of buddies!"
Ignoring the strange creature's comment. You look back over to the group of ponies as you say,
"Great, now I gotta start over... *ahem* Wooooooo... I've come back with a warrrrrning! Do no-"
"Do you really have to use that voice?"
You sigh in annoyance as your warning is cut off... again. You're about to speak again when Pinkie says,
"Yeah, it's kind of annoying."
*snap*
Your eyes glow orange as you think angrily,
SHE THINKS THAT'S ANNOYING! LOOK WHO'S TALKING! I BET SHE COULDN'T GO ONE DAY WITHOUT OPENING HER YAPPER!
You start to breath in and out to clam yourself down. After your eyes go back to normal, you glare at Pinkie angrily as you say in your normal voice,
"Fine! I've come back to warn you about..." You stop mid sentence to see if anyling was going to interrupt you again. Not seeing anyling about to interject, you open your mouth to say something-
"What's the warning?!"
You glare angrily at Pinkie for the fifth time as you snap,
"Pink one, if you don't shut your yap I will... um... posses all the.... cookie jars in Equestria... to make sure that you'll never get your hooves on that crunchy sweet goodness ever again!"
Pinkie gasps in horror as she says,
"No! You wouldn't dare!"
You give her a blank stare as you say,
"Pink one... it's me... I stole forty cakes, remember? You think I'm afraid of stealing all the cookie jars?"
Pinkie just stares at you in horror and doesn't say a thing. Seeing as how she's not trying to interrupt you again, you decide to continue your rant,
"I mean, it's bad enough you all murdered me, but now I can't even get a word in edgewise!" You wince slightly at Fluttershy's guilty expression.
Great, now she's blaming herself for my death. Way to go me...
You snap out of your guilty thoughts when you hear Rainbow say,
"Yeah, quiet Pinkie, I want to hear what ghost jerk has to say."
You look at Rainbow confused as to why that fillyfooler, out of all of them, actually wants to hear what you have to say. Deciding not to take this chance for granted, you clear your throat as you mutter "Thanks", but Rainbow gives a victorious grin towards... Applejack?
What the hay is that about? Eh, whatever, must be a fillyfooler thing.
With that quick thought passed, you continue, "*ahem* Now beware of-
"Is this it?"
Your anger reaches a boiling point when Pinkie interrupts you for the sixth time! You look at Pinkie in anger as you yell. "Okay, That's it!" Your eyes glow orange as you say in your ghost voice,
"I'm noooowwwwwww gooooinnnggg to haunt yoooouuuu allllll. Beeecccauuuussee aaaaallll of yooooouuu are the reason I diiiiieeeed. And nooowww I must haunt you for aaaaaalll eternity (Except on weekends and holidays)."
Twilight, who has been quiet for awhile now, starts to snicker as she says,
"Oh please. Do you honestly think anypony would believe-"
She is then cut off by her friends screaming in terror. She turns around as you look past her to see the other 5 huddled together in fear. Pinkie in particular is throwing bars of silver and cloves of garlic at your general direction while Fluttershy (bless her fragile heart) is crying while begging for forgiveness for partially causing your noble sacrifice.
Annnnnnd lets add Fluttershy back to the list of mares I've made cry. Can't I go one day without making a mare cry?
You're snapped out of your thoughts when you hear Twilight ask....
Twilight also points out that ghosts should be able to phase through things instead of smashing them and you respond that you're still trying to get a grip on the whole spirit thing.
"Why are you here? Why haven't you passed on?" "Oh, uh, the Heavens denied my self-invitation because I caused so much chaos just by EXISTING. I've even tried going to Tartarus for how lonely being dead is, but they also left me out because they thought my bad luck is contagious. The nerve of them! I've spent months going up and down to get to the gates of both places, but they only turned me away without so much of a second glance! My misfortune is Lady Luck's fault! Curse her. So, I decided to spend the rest of my unlife enacting vengeance to all those who gave me so much suffering in my short life." "H-how old were you?" "@&." "T-that's not even all that long!"
"Why are you here? Why haven't you passed on? And if you're really a ghost, how come you smashed through the window instead of phasing through like a ghost is supposed to?"
Not only are you taken aback by those questions, but you swear you saw a flash of concern in Twilight's eyes for a second. You shake your head and put it off as your imagination before you then answer the question with the first thing that comes to your head...
"Oh, uh, One, I'm still trying to grasp the basics of this whole 'wandering spirit' thing. Two, the Heavens denied my self-invitation because I caused so much chaos just by EXISTING."
The mismatch creature chuckles while giving you a thumbs up, and the words 'Most Chaotic friend ever' appear above his head. Shaking off that bowl of weirdness you continue,
"I've even tried going to Tartarus just for how lonely being a wandering spirit is, but they also left me out because they thought my bad luck is contagious. The nerve of them! I've spent months going up and down to the gates of both places, but they just me away without so much of a second glance! My misfortune is Lady Luck's fault! Curse her, curse her I say! So, I decided to spend the rest of my unlife enacting vengeance to all those who gave me so much suffering in my short life."
Twilight looks taken aback by the answer, before she asks "H-how old were you?"
"@&." You answer truthfully
Gasps of surprise and horror happen throughout the room. You shrug like it was nothing and say,
"What? That's my age."
Twilight trembles a little bit before she says,
"T-that's not even all that long!"
You're about to say that's pretty old by changeling standards when...
You try to convince the mane six (and the others) that you are the ghost of the Hooded Offender, here to haunt them forever. However, Discord, sensing an opportunity to be a pain in the butt, snaps his fingers and the cloak tears itself off of you, washes and irons itself, and plops back on you, unfortunately revealing that you are alive and well.
The mismatch creature chuckles and says,
"Well, H.O., thanks for the show. But I think it's time for this charade to end, don't you think?"
Before you can question what he means, he snaps his fingers and the next thing you know, your cloak tears itself off of you, washes and irons itself inside a now existing washer and iron, dries itself off in a dryer, and then plops back on you. Unfortunately, this also reveals that you're alive and well. You look at all the angry and shocked looks around and you chuckle nervously as you say...
You decide to pull out a portal reference again. You turn your voice robotic. "Wait, before I get pummeled by you all, I think this appearance does require some explanation. Let me give you the fast version. AndmethodicallyknockingpeopleshatsoffthenIaccountitforhightimetogettoseaasfastasIcan." You say that so quickly that noling but Pinkie and Discord can tell what you said. "There, if you have any questions, just remember what I said in slow motion. Test on your own recognizance." They all give you a weird looks. "I'll be right back." You run out of the room.
In a robotic voice,
"Oh, would you look at that, I'm alive. Well, before I get pummeled by you all, I think this appearance does require some explanation. Let me give you the fast version; AndmethodicallyknockingpeopleshatsoffthenIaccountitforhightimetogettoseaasfastasIcan."
You said that so quickly that noling but Pinkie and the mismatch creature can tell what you said causing them both to laugh, but you ignore them as you say,
"There, if you have any questions, just remember what I said in slow motion. Test on your own intelligence."
Their looks of shock and anger turn into confusion. Taking this opportunity you say,
"Oh, would you look at the time! I'm late for my Doctor's appointment! I must be off, allons-y!" And with that you begin to charge up a teleport spell, but...
You try to teleport away, but Twilight does that unfair spell where she disables your magic again. Applejack and Rainbowdash dogpile you until Fluttershy drags them off of you. "Excuse me, am I interrupting anything, lovers?" Discord says. "I do recall a couple ponies wanting to retrieve their elements, and in order to do that this is what you need to know. To retrieve your missing Elements just make sense of this change of events. Twists and turns are my master plan. Then find the elements back where you began. Farewell, my little ponies." You think you here some iconic phrase, but you're too busy fearing the death looks the deadly five are giving you
They all hastily get off you when you sarcastically comment how dogpiling the bug that went on a berserker rampage through all of them at the GGG probably isn't the best idea.
Nothing happens. You open your eyes to see a smirking Twilight and her horn is glowing.
Drat, she must have used that stupid magic-disabling spell again.
With that thought in mind, you turn around to make a break for it, but before you could take one step...
"Oh no you don't!"
"Not this time varmint!"
"Time for 'Bouncing on the Offender!'"
You feel three weights slam into your back knocking you to the ground in a dogpile as Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie all tackle you. You then sarcastically comment from under the dogpile,
"Yeah, charge straight at the bug who rampaged through the Royal Guards and the Wonderbolts, curb-stomped the alicorn who controls the sun, Oh, and let's not forget, ended Blueblood's chances of ever having foals and walking with just one punch. That's the guaranteed key to a long life!"
The mares suddenly get flashbacks to the destruction and terror at the GGG that haunted their nightmares for the days following the incident and hastily get off you. As they back away slowly in fear, you get up, turn to face them, and brush off your shoulder with a hoof as you say,
Suddenly, Fluttershy gives you a quick hug and whispers, "I'm glad you're okay, Hoody." Before you could respond, the strange creature chuckles as he says,
"Excuse me, am I interrupting anything, lovers? I do recall a couple ponies wanting to retrieve their elements, and in order to do that this is what you need to know: To retrieve your missing Elements just make sense of this change of events. Twists and turns are my master plan. Then find the elements back where you began. Farewell, my little ponies... And fellow chaos maker."
And with that, he literally pops away! You swear you hear him say something iconic, but you're too distracted by the stares you're now getting from the Deadly Five...
You appear to have broken Celestia again. She's just staring off into space. it's probably the stress of Discord combined with the shock of seeing you again. Anyways, Twilight, seeing that Celestia is in no shape to watch you and make sure you don't fake your own death again, decides to take you with them into the labyrinth and keep and eye on you.
When Twilight tries to make you come with them, you're about to just fight your way out, but you see how frightened Fluttershy is (that and/or she asks you) and stick around only for her sake.
You look over to Celestia, who has been quiet the whole time.
Oh shoot I broke her... again.
It's true, she's just staring off into space (probably the result of combined stress and shock of the elements being stolen, Discord's return, and seeing you again). Anyways, Twilight (having just finished looking out the window and seeing that Celestia is in no shape to watch you) looks at you and says,
"Since the princess is distracted, you'll be coming with us to the maze."
You look at her confused and think,
Maze? Who said anything about a maze?
You shrug off the thought and prepare a "Pycho Buster" to escape when you see Fluttershy in front of you shivering like crazy and looking at you with a terrified/pleading look in her eyes. You sigh as you know that, even though you don't like it, it's best to stay to watch over her.
The Doctor will have to wait, I have a friend that needs help.
You look at Twilight, shrug and try to say nonchalantly,
"Eh, I got nothing better to do."
Fluttershy smiles at you while Twilight nods her head in an almost excited matter before declaring,
"Let's go girls! The fate of Equestria is in our hooves!"
As you follow the mares out you think,
I mean, what's the worse that can happen?...
25 MINUTES LATER
When you all get to the maze, you panic along with the rest of the mares at your horns and wings going missing (although Discord allows you to keep your wings after pointing out that you can't fly anyway).
I just HAD to say it...
In the time span of almost half an hour, you ran/walked all the way to the royal maze after Twilight figured out the riddle, you got your horn popped out of your head (along with the other's horns and wings, but strangely he let you keep your wings under your coat. You decided to keep that fact secret from the others since you can't fly anyway. Luna knows the fillyfooler won't ever let you live it down if she knew) for the strange creature's (who you learned is named Discord) game in the maze, you get cut off from Fluttershy by a maze wall popping up in between the group, AND you somehow managed to get stuck with Twilight.
While not as bad as the hick, the fillyfooler, or the psycho, she's still not exactly the best pony to be stuck in a maze with... You think bitterly.
Twilight just sighs as she looks at you with a glare and says,
"Come on, oh great Hooded Offender, let's go."
You roll your eyes as you say,
"After you, princess."
And with that, you and Twilight began to travel the maze...
"If you do anything weird, I'll obliterate you." She hisses. You back up nervously. "What would be considered weird?" She huffs. "Just... Try to act like a normal pony..." You get an idea. You change into a random pony. "Okay fine. Let's all act like ponies. Look at me, boy I'm sweaty. Let's convert grass and leaves into energy and excrete them later and kill changelings."
You run right into Twilight with an "oof" when she suddenly stops. You look at her confused when she suddenly turns and hisses at you,
"If you do anything weird, I'll obliterate you."
You look at her shocked that she was suddenly all hostile, before you ask,
"What would be considered weird?"
She huffs in annoyance before she says,
"Just... Try to act like a normal pony..."
You then get an wonderfully trollish idea. You put your hood down and change into a random pony that looks like this and think of the most criticizing voice that you can think of as you say,
"Okay fine, let's all act like ponies. Look at me, boy I'm sweaty. Let's convert grass and leaves into energy and excrete them later and kill changelings. Oh, then I'll go ahead and say how peaceful our species is yet we have hot-headed fillyfoolers, a psychotic pink menace, and a fashion crazy mare running around without straitjackets on!"
Twilight just gets red in the face at your outburst, and she just snorts in anger as she turns and begins to walk though the maze. You chuckle at your success at annoying Twilight and transform back to your old buggy self as you put your hood up and begin to walk behind Twilight. But now you're surrounded by awkward and tense silence.
After a couple minutes of walking in awkward silence, you decide to strike up a conversation with Twilight.
Well since you're alone with Twilight, try to clear the air between you, maybe...just maybe you can put aside the bad blood you have between you.
As you and Twilight continue to walk though the maze in awkward and tense silence, you begin to think about your predicament.
This has got to be the most awkward moment in my life. It's even more awkward then that time I caught grandbuggy hugging and petting a wooden blank that had drawn on eyes and smile (he kept calling him 'Plank') with a insane look in his eyes. Yeahhhhh...that was a weird day. But still, there's gotta be something I can do to get rid of all this tension and awkwardness. Maybe I could- *ding* I got it, I'l just strike up a conversation with her! If I'm lucky enough, then she'll talk back. If we could get to know each other, I could explain all the misunderstandings that has happen to me! Maybe... maybe we could become friends.
You smile turns into a huge grin that threatens to snap your face in half. You look over at Twilight and say the first generic conversation starter you can think of,
"So... nice weather today huh?"
Twilight glares at you with a side glance before she says in a sarcastic tone,
"Oh sure, the weather is just perfect. If you consider the sky being pink and clouds made of cotton candy raining chocolate milk GOOD WEATHER, THEN YES THE WEATHER IS JUST STINKING FANTASTIC!"
She yells the last part as she looks at you in anger. You whimper a little bit (not very stallionly, but in your defense that mare is scary when she's mad) when you notice something. You look at Twilight strangely as you think,
That anger in her eyes looks...forced? What in the... Before you can finish that thought, Twilight huffs in annoyance before she continues to walk further into the maze. You shake your head as you run to catch up to her.
*Simpson family lost in a corn maze* Homer: "To hell with maze etiquette! I'm walking straight outta here!" *Tries to walk through maze only to run into an electric fence with a sign that reads "Electrified for your enjoyment"* Homer: "Damn it!" *Tries to punch sign only to get shocked and sees another sign that says "Signs also electrified"* Homer: "How come things that happen to stupid people keep happening to me?"
After walking through the maze some more, you get annoyed and declare,
Only to get zapped down. When you come to, you see an electric fence beneath the bush with a sign that reads "Electrified for your enjoyment"
"Gah!" you yell as you punch the sign in frustration-
*ZAP*
Only to get electrocuted again as you see another sign that says "Signs also electrified". You then moan,
"Oh... how come things that happen to stupid bugs keep happening to me?"
You swore you heard Twilight laughing at your misfortune, but when you turn she's already walking away. Deciding to put that 'forced anger' thing aside for now, you continue your efforts to strike a conversation as you say...
So who was that guy anyway?" You ask Twilight out of the blue. "Discord, the embodiment of chaos and disharmony. He's an ancient being that once ruled Equestria in a state of perpetual chaos before the Princesses stopped him." she recited as if from an essay "And now he's back from his one-thousand year imprisonment to do it all again! That's why we have to retrieve the Emements and stop him!" then she adds in a bitter tone "AND the reason I'm too busy to deal with you." "Bwuh?! You're the one who dragged me into this maze in the first place! You don't get to complain." "Like heck I don't! You've been nothing but trouble for us!" "Except the times I saved your lives, and fought a dragon, and saved your lives, and intercepted a war, and saved your lives, and saved your lives... again." You list off smugly. "Whatever, I still don't trust you."
"So who was that guy anyway?" You ask Twilight with curiosity.
Twilight stops walking as she gives an annoyed sigh as she says,
"Discord, the embodiment of chaos and disharmony. He's an ancient being that once ruled Equestria in a state of perpetual chaos before the Princesses stopped him." she recited it as if it was from an essay "And now he's back from his one-thousand year imprisonment to do it all again! That's why we have to retrieve the Elements and stop him!" then she adds in a bitter tone "AND the reason I'm too busy to deal with you."
You look at Twilight in shock as you blurt out in annoyance,
"Bwuh?! You're the one who dragged me into this maze in the first place! You don't get to complain."
Twilight looks shocked for a moment, before she points an accusing hoof at you and replies in an annoyed tone,
"Like heck I don't! You've been nothing but trouble for us!"
Your eye twitch in annoyance as you say,
"Except the times I saved your lives, and fought a dragon, and saved your lives, and intercepted a war, did I mention I saved your lives? Well I saved your stinking lives!" You list off smugly. Twilight's eye twitches in annoyance, and you swear you see her smile a little bit, before she turns around with a huff as she says,
"Whatever, I still don't trust you."
With that, she continues to walk though the maze while you grumble,
"Don't trust me she says, still evil she says..."
You know, when you know you're not about to be mauled by present party, you started to take notice of... certain subtle things. You could literally feel the hostility from her, including the fear growing that's on the verge of tearing your chest. You're afraid, but not panicking at least. Doesn't make the experience of awkward silence any better, though. It may had been a bad idea to sleep through biology class over the arrogant assumption that everything taught there was bloody obvious. You failed the test the day after. Still, you realized that you never truly understood the extent of a Changeling's capabilities when emotions are involved. Hmmm, if love equals power (basing it off of your ex-Queen's resulted increase in power levels thanks to love absorption) what does that make you when I comes to your relationship with your daughter? Do you have the ability to sense what others feel? Is it the reason why you suddenly feel a sense of dread just right now? No seriously, you could SMELL it in the distance. A... disturbance of some sorts. And then, an instinctive muscle tug in your forelegs occurred, a tightness. Danger. Before your could contemplate the ominous meaning, Twilight spoke. "Look, as much as I want answers from you, and those Sherclop first edition books," Wait, wha— "I already have enough on my plate. So, I want you to keep out of trouble and don't mess it up for me— no, for Equestria! The fate of the world is in our hooves!" "Ours?" you commented. "My friends and me." "What, I don't count?" She only gave a blank stare. "Hey! I'm capable enough to try and save the world." "You could've fooled me. Everywhere you go you somehow ended up wrecking parts of it." "Okay, what's your problem?! Haven't I suffered enough of your abuse all those months ago?" "My problem? Spike admires you, Fluttershy likes you, and Cadance for some reason forgives you! When all of what you've done was cause chaos and havoc. You're gilded as hero by some ponies, but still don't know that you're hiding the REAL you!" "Are you kidding me? You mean saving ponies from a collapsed ceiling doesn't count as much to my profile? Doesn't that speak enough about my intentions?" You'd thought that she'd take a bite out of you when you talked back at her. Geez, you feel like talking to your hardcore, and dead, parents. And you're a parent yourself. The irony. "At least be a little grateful that I helped you with that dragon a long time ago." Twilight growled in frustration. "Intentions? No pony truly know what you even want! One moment you're antagonizing town folks, and then all nice to a few ponies the next! Do you know how much you drove us up the wall with all your antics, always being afraid of what you'll do next, wether it's good or bad? I barely had the time nor inspiration to write a friendship report when you're involved," she hissed. "But there's one thing I know: You're a changeling. You feed on love. You're deceitful by nature. And your kind starved my sister-in-law and left her in a cave and got away with it months before the wedding day! I'm on to you, whatever you're planning." "If we are gauging good or bad with intentions and motives, then you're not all in the right either! I've been pummeled and beaten to an inch of my life several times now. And it's all by you! All of you five! Do you know how many nightmares I had about you? With all the killing intent you've shown me thus far, I'm pretty sure you've TRAUMATIZED someone!" She winced at your accidental Royal Capslocks. And you still have it switched on. "NOT TO MENTION THAT YOU'RE PRINCESSES INTENDED TO EXECUTE MY DAUGHTER!" Silence. "Is she really your daughter?" she asked, ignoring all the things before it was relevant. What? you thought bitterly, afraid of what's about to come next. "I know your tricks. You needed some way to sustain yourself, food to keep you going." No, she can't be implying...! "As far as I know, you just don't get a changeling filly out of the blue, separated from any other relatable species, no. But you've got to have gotten her from somewhere," she gave you a furious glare that's as hot as the sun. "You have the mind control and you have the disguises. Who wouldn't think that you took her away from her real parents? Speaking of, where is she now?" You hear dark whispers, and you don't know where, but it sounded familiar. You tried to ignore it, but... it gets louder as you soon understood that your already chaotic life might turn much bleaker already. "How dare you... " "Since we had this talk, I now have half a mind to end you right here, right now!" But then you hear your sweet saving grace. Coming from the Inventory yawning was your beautiful daughter Nightshade. "It's getting loud out here. Did somepony call me?" Instantly, Twilight did a scanning spell onto her. "Nothing. What?" she said, bewildered. You merely ignored her and walked ahead, soothing your daughter to go back into the inventory. Further response was inturrupted as you see the familiar sight of one of the Mane 6.
Also add onto when Nightshade pops out, tell Twilight "Excuse me while I comfort MY Daughter whom I LOVE Unconditionally away from Speciest Eyes" and give her a sour look, the bitch.
28 MINUTES LATER
As you and Twilight continue to walk in silence (you having given up trying to start a conversation with her a long time ago) you begin to think... Intelligently for once. When you know you're not about to be mauled by present party, you started to take notice of... certain subtle things. You could literally feel the hostility from her, including the fear growing that's on the verge of tearing your chest. You're afraid, but not panicking at least. Doesn't make the experience of awkward silence any better, though. It may had been a bad idea to sleep through biology class over the arrogant assumption that everything taught there was bloody obvious. You failed the test the day after.
Although since I failed the test, grandbuggy did give me my first duct tape and WD-40 lesson... and by lesson I mean endless hours in the hot blazing sun going over the lesson till it was stuck in my head for good, so it wan't too bad.
Still, you realized that you never truly understood the extent of a Changeling's capabilities when emotions are involved.
Hmmm, if love equals power (basing it off of your ex-Queen's resulted increase in power levels thanks to love absorption) what does that make me when it comes to my relationship with my daughter? I can't even 'eat' love anymore, much less need it for survival now for some reason. Do I have the ability to sense what others feel now because of that?
Is it the reason why you suddenly feel a sense of dread just right now?
No seriously, you could SMELL it in the distance. A... disturbance of some sorts. And then, an instinctive muscle tug in your forelegs occurred, a tightness. Danger. Before your could contemplate the ominous meaning, Twilight spoke.
"Look, as much as I want answers from you, and those Sherclop first edition books,"
Wait, wha-
"I already have enough on my plate. So, I want you to keep out of trouble and don't mess it up for me- no, for Equestria! The fate of the world is in our hooves!"
"Ours?" you question in confusion.
Not that I mind helping stop this lunatic of course.
Twilight gives you a look before saying,
"My friends and I." You look at her dumbfounded as you say,
"What, I don't count?"
She only gave a blank stare in response.
"Hey! I'm capable enough to try and save the world. I did save your life a billion times remember?"
Twilight, ignoring your comment, says in a sarcastic tone,
"You could've fooled me. Everywhere you go you somehow ended up wrecking parts of it."
You finally have enough of her attitude and say to her in a annoyed tone,
"Okay, what's your problem?! Haven't I suffered enough of your abuse all those months ago?"
Twilight's eye begins to twitch in annoyance as she says,
"My problem? Spike admires you and won't listen to me when I tell him that you're evil, Fluttershy likes you and she wouldn't come out of her home for months after your death, and Cadance for some reason forgives you and keeps claiming that you're 'the nicest and sweetest changeling she ever met' when all that you've done was cause chaos and havoc. You're gilded as hero by some ponies, but they still don't know that you're hiding the REAL changeling you!"
You look at her confused as you think,
Wait... Spike admires me? What does she mean Fluttershy likes me... But what about-oh yeah, arguing right now, think about the rest later.
After your done thinking, you tell Twilight in a annoyed tone,
"You're kidding right? You mean saving ponies from a collapsed ceiling doesn't count as much to my profile? Doesn't that speak enough about my intentions?"
You'd thought that she'd take a bite out of you when you talked back at her as you continue,
"At least be a little grateful that I helped you with that dragon a long time ago."
Twilight growls in frustration,
"Intentions? Nopony truly know what you even want! One moment you're antagonizing townsfolk, and then you're all nice to a few ponies the next! Do you know how much you drove us up the wall with all your antics, always being afraid of what you'll do next, whether it's good or bad? I barely had the time or inspiration to write a friendship report when you're involved," she hissed. "But there's one thing I know: You're a changeling. You feed on love. You're deceitful by nature. And your kind starved my sister-in-law and left her in a cave and got away with it months before the wedding day! I'm on to you, whatever you're planning."
Your eye twitches in annoyance as you think angrily,
I did not leave her starving! According to Cadance, I actually fed her and took a hit from my ex-queen to save her. I wish I could tell Twilight that, but she'll probably think I'm lying. But if where going with good and bad motives...
You then say angrily,
"If we're gauging good or bad intentions and motives, then you're not all in the right either! I've been pummeled and beaten to an inch of my life several times now by you! All of you five! Do you know how many nightmares I had about you? The first few nights I slept in my new home I woke up screaming! With all the killing intent you've shown me thus far, I'm pretty sure you've TRAUMATIZED someling!"
*snap*
She winced at your accidental Royal Capslocks and you still have it switched on as you scream in anger, orange glowing eyes blazing,
"NOT TO MENTION THAT ONE OF YOUR PRINCESSES INTENDED TO EXECUTE MY DAUGHTER!"
As you start to breath heavily after getting all of that off your shoulder, you only notice on thing...
Silence.
Just as you think that Twilight has dropped the subject. She asks a question that makes your blood boil...
"Is she really your daughter?" she asked, ignoring all the things before it was relevant.
What...? you thought bitterly, afraid of what's about to come next.
"I know your tricks. You needed some way to sustain yourself, food to keep you going."
No, she can't be implying...!
"As far as I know, you don't just get a changeling filly out of the blue, separated from any other relatable species, no. But you have to have acquired her from somewhere,"
She gave you a furious glare that's as hot as the sun as she continues,
"You have the mind control and you have the disguises. Who wouldn't think that you took her away from her real parents? Speaking of, where is she now?"
You swore you hear dark whispers just then. You don't know where, but it sounded familiar. You tried to ignore it, but... it gets louder as you soon understood that your already chaotic life might turn much bleaker already.
"How dare you... how dare you...SUGGEST I DO SOMETHING SO EVIL AS TAKE A FOAL AWAY FROM THEIR FAMILY!"
Twilight is taken aback by your outburst, but she soon regains her composer as she says angrily,
"Since we had this talk, I now have half a mind to end you right here, right now!"
With the Nightmare Cloak beginning to form you scream,
"Is that right? Well for a so-called bookworm you sure are one stupid dumbflank as, in case you don't remember, I curb-stomped you, your friends, your princess, the royal guard commander, his stallions, and even the bucking Wonderbolts back at the gala so I could and should just SLAUGHTER YOU WHERE YOU STAND!!!"
Before things could escalate, you hear your sweet saving grace. Coming from the Inventory yawning was your beautiful daughter Nightshade.
"It's getting loud out here. Did somepony call me?"
Instantly, Twilight's horn lit's up, and you can only guess that she's doing a scanning spell on Nightshade.
"Nothing. What?" she said, bewildered. You just walked ahead and passed Twilight as you calm down and say in a low whisper so Nightshade won't hear
"Excuse me while I comfort MY Daughter whom I LOVE Unconditionally away from ignorant species-ist eyes."
With that you continue to walk away, not noticing the guilty look on Twilight's face as you begin to sooth your daughter to go back into the inventory.
You are currently the only one with any abilities, thanks to a secret weapon known as Kung Fu for Dummies. Attempt to Psycho Crusher through a wall. The hole in the maze fixes itself behind you and you're left separated again. Looking around, you see a grotto with a large pool. As you approach it, the pool shimmers as Discord rises out of it. He then shows you all the times the Deadly 5 have attacked you via the pool and tries to get you to join him as the official "Most Chaotic Friend Ever."
Discord tries to corrupt you, but the DFV repels his discording attempt.
Seeing as you don't want to be around Twilight at the moment, you yell,
"Psycho Crusher!" and spin through a surprisingly un-electrified maze wall. The hole in the maze fixes itself separating you from Twilight as you continue on until you run into... a giant flat box with a screen attached to a console that looks like a Nintendo 64 and an XBOX 360 had a baby?
The rational part of your brain tries to warn you to move on, but it's overwhelmed by the gamer in you who is FAMISHED since you haven't even seen a video game since that failed invasion of Canterlot (you were either on the run or living in remote, low-tech, always-gets-news-late Appleloosa) and you dash over, grab the controller, and start playing.
Your first surprise is how lifelike the graphics of the game look. The second surprise is that the game is titled The Hooded Offender: Playground of Mayhem which is apparently a wide-open sandbox that takes place in an island city that looks like a mish-mash of Manehattan, Canterlot, and a dash of Ponyville and you're playing as the Hooded Offender. Normally you try to make the Hooded Offender in real life into a hero, but since this is a video game and you still have some stress from that argument with Twilight you do what any player would do in free roam when the tutorial is over...
You gleefully experiment with the abilities and powers of the playable Hooded Offender as you have him running over ponies with carriages, Falcon Punching non-Pegasus ponies out of 10th stories windows, Psycho Crusher through airships, jaywalking, and any other chaotically destructive things that come to mind as you rampage through the virtual city while real you scarfs down bowls of nacho-flavored corn chips and chug large cans of this yellow-green soda labeled "Mountain Dew" (you would have questioned where they came from, but you were busy making virtual you beat a barbershop quartet of mimes to death with a clown).
As you're Izuna Dropping a traveling stage magician from the roof of a skyscraper, you hear a disembodied male voice say,
Isn't all this destruction just loads of fun?
Not even looking away from the screen you say,
"Buck yeah it is! The graphics, the gameplay, the violence, the gameplay, the sounds, the gameplay! This is the best game ever!" you say as you have virtual you tear off a lawyer's front limbs with your Nightmare Tails, dunk his rear limbs in liquid nitrogen before shattering them against the ground, incinerate his torso with a fire spell, buck his charred screaming body into a refrigerator, and Shoryuken the fridge into the sky before obliterating it in midair with a rocket.
...
That was REALLY excessively violent... AWESOME!!! But getting back on topic, Oh... But why should it merely be a game?
"Huh *crunch gulp chug*?"
I mean, you try to do good...
On cue, you're suddenly given the objective to "Get the Cat out of the Tree" which you do and give the cat to a filly with a pink ribbon who looks suspiciously familiar...
But all they do is hate you...
The filly suddenly throws the cat back in your face which proceeds to wrap your head in a comic smoke of violence, taking off a large chunk of your health.
And abuse you...
Suddenly a crowd of ponies appear with signs that read "Squash the Bug" and "Hoods are No Good" and throw rotten fruit at you knocking off more of your health.
And chase you.
You suddenly have squads of Royal Guard after you as you run away cause your health is too low to fight.
But that shouldn't matter because you have more than enough power to get those pesky ponies out of your way.
You suddenly see the message "Meteor Impact unlocked" which you then proceed to use to level a building and cause it to collapse onto the angry mob and the Royal Guardponies.
But then there are those mares who are always trying to spoil your fun...
On cue, a boss battle starts when the 6 Mares arrive.
The "hick"...
Applejack kills you with a move that involves hanging you with her lasso before bucking you in the chest with enough force to activate an x-ray mode showing the destruction of your ribs and internal organs forcing you to restart the battle.
The "fillyfooler"...
You have to restart again when you're obliterated by a Sonic Rainboom as soon as you respawn.
The "psycho"...
Pinkie knocks you out with her party cannon and you're greeted with a Game Over screen of you strapped to a table as a sadistically giggling Pinkie closes in with a knife (That's gonna give you nightmares for a while...).
Fluttershy immobilizes you with "The Stare" and in spite of your attempts to quick-time event out of it, you're killed by another Sonic Rainboom.
But you don't have to deal with them alone...
You suddenly see a summon available which you use causing Discord to pop up on the screen. He looks around at the mares while wiggling his finger in a "nuh-uh-uh" way before he chuckles madly as he snaps his fingers causing a giant water balloon to appear above the mares. Of course this water balloon just so happened to be filled with acidic lava full of robo-piranha so... yeah, it was messy and screamy to say the least. Cue victory screen of you a Discord holding your hooves up in victory with the message "A WINNER IS YOU!!!"
Why settle for a mere game? If you play for my team, we can make this reality!
Discord then appears and puts a friendly arm around your shoulder as you're too focused on your controller trying to get the game to restart. What you didn't know was that the whole time you were playing, you slowly began to lose your color and become grey, Now that Discord has his hand over your shoulder, you are almost completely gray.
"So what do say H.O. buddy? Ready to turn Equestria into one giant game of Grand Theft Carriage?"
Discord moves his hand and pokes your forehead with his finger with intent to brainwash, but the DFV suddenly shouts screams,
THIS BUG BELONGS TO ME!!! AND THE ONLY FRIEND HE WILL HAVE IS ME!!!
Discord is thrown back by this outburst as you shake your head to try and reorient your ears and brain. Discord then says,
"What in the name of chaos is this?"
He then proceeds to pull out a pair of novelty "x-ray" goggles and looks at you intently, before he raises his eyebrows in surprise and says,
"Well, well, well... Isn't this a gem of a development. I got a feeling you're just gonna be bananas of fun later, but for now I got some ponies I need to tend to. Auf Wiedersehen H.O."
He then disappears as you demand,
"Get back here! What were you trying to do to me!? What do you mean I'm gonna be bananas of fun?! Is 'Ow Wiener-son' even a real word?!"
"It's Auf Wiedersehen and it means 'until we meet again'." before disappearing just as quickly.
You could only stare at were Discord was just at in complete confusion. Finally, you just sigh as you walk away towards another part of the maze.
Also, when you come across the others in the maze something seems off about them. They all seem grayer and acting funny. Applejack keeps hugging you and claiming you are her most favorite person ever. When she says this, she puckers her lips and keeps looking around shiftily. Pinkie Pie is just snapping at you and yelling not to smile or laugh and even you admit that you miss the annoying happiness she usually has. Fluttershy is being really mean to you, it actually breaks your heart since your only friend out of them is putting you down and throwing things at you and just being unnecessarily cruel. Fluttershy: "Oh Boo Hoo, your freak of a daughter almost got killed, get over it you overgrown Cockroach!" You tear up a bit Fluttershy: "Oh you gonna cwy now? Come on Cwy! Cwy widdle baby! Ha ha ha!" Rarity is carrying around a Boulder and she at one point snags your satchel and starts taking the things out of them, including Night Shade, and yelling "MINE!!!" You then start trying to gather your satchel and daughter but they play keep away, and Fluttershy is making fun of Night Shade except Twilight who seems to be taking your side. Twilight: Fluttershy! Rarity! What's the matter with you girls? Stop It! That's Cruel! Nopony deserves this, not even him! AJ: I'm helping Twi! I'm doing all I can (sitting on the edge looking around shiftily) Pinkie: This satchel is stupid! Fluttershy: Bugs don't deserve nice things! Rarity: MINE!!!! You can't take it anymore, you snap at all of them. You: All you can just go to Tartarus! You...you...(Look at Fluttershy) JERKS!!!! Your eyes glow orange, and tears leaking out as you take back your daughter and belongings and your satchel and just start burning a hole through the maze as you run away. You hear Fluttershy as you run away: "Yeesh, what a Crybaby!"
*snap* Your eyes glow orange as the mares play keep away with The Inventory, as you suddenly get flashbacks back to your foalhood in the Hive when you were bullied for your orange hair. The combined stress of the flashbacks, fear for your daughter, putting up with the discorded mares, and what's happening now causes you to snap and brutally curb-stomp the discorded mares with the "Nightmare Cloak" to Twilight's horror as the DFV eggs you on, but Twilight and/or Spike blasts/attacks you before you do anything you'd regret causing you to snap out of it and run away in horror/regret with the Inventory
After walking around for a few minutes, all the maze walls suddenly get sucked into the ground! You jump back in shock as you look around to find Fluttershy and the Deadly 5 (excluding Rainbow who was nowhere in site for some reason) apparently talking to Discord. When you finally reach them Discord pulls out a umbrella, folds it upside down, and then poofs away. When the group finally notices you, you realize something is different about them. For one everyling besides Twilight is gray.
Two, as soon as Applejack saw you, she ran at you, hugged you, and said that you were her most favorite bug in the world. When she says this, she puckers her lips and keeps looking around shiftily.
Three, Pinkie Pie is just snapping at you and yelling not to smile or laugh and even you admit that you miss the annoying happiness she usually has.
Four, Fluttershy is being really mean to you, it actually breaks your heart since your only friend out of them is putting you down and throwing things at you and just being unnecessarily cruel as she says things like "Oh Boo Hoo, your freak of a daughter almost got killed, get over it you overgrown Cockroach!" and "Oh you gonna cwy now? Come on Cwy! Cwy widdle baby! Ha ha ha!"
And finally, Rarity was hugging and kissing a giant rock, calling it Tom and saying that it's a diamond and tries to karate kick you when you get too close to it. She's also constantly yelling "Mine!"
When you asked Twilight what the hay happen. She just shook her head and snapped, "Not now."
After that she asked you (reluctantly) to help get the mares onto a train to Ponyville, and you being you helped, even if it was one of your worse enemies. You managed to help Twilight herd/force the mares onto the train (the less said about that thoroughly unpleasant, annoying, and chaotic train ride back, the better). After you literally dragged the three flipped personality mares back to Twilight's house (the fourth carried "Tom" on her back the whole way through). However as soon as you got there, Rarity garbed The Inventory off of you while screaming "MINE!" and began to run away.
*snap*
Your eyes glow orange as you chased her yelling,
"Give that back!"
As Rarity ran, she started to rummage through the Inventory. Finally she took out Nightshade's still asleep form and began to run away with her, dropping The Inventory. You quickly picked up The Inventory and put it on as you continued giving chase. But Fluttershy, Pinkie, Applejack, and Rarity begin to play keep away with her.
"Girls! What's the matter with you girls? Stop It! That's Cruel! Nopony deserves this, not even him! And especially not that filly!" Twilight yells in disbelief and horror.
"I'm helping Twi! I'm doing all I can." Applejack says as she tosses Nightshade above your head to Pinkie.
"Foals... I hate foals!" Pinkie yells bouncing Nightshade off her back.
"Bugs don't deserve nice things!" Fluttershy cruelly taunts as she roughly throws Nightshade at Rarity.
"MINE!!!" Rarity screams.
You suddenly get flashbacks back to your foalhood in the Hive when you were bullied for your orange hair.
Ha ha ha haha! Keep away from orange-skull!
The flashbacks, your fear for your daughter, putting up with the discorded mares. You can't take it anymore! The Nightmare Cloak bursts out in a yell causing the mares to all stop and look at you in horror as you attack.
First you scream, "Falcon Punch" and your flame-encased hoof slams into Pinkie's face and sends her smashing through the door and into a fruit stand (which suddenly transformed into a taco stand just before impact).
Next, you jump towards Applejack and yell "No Shadow Kick" before pummeling the farmpony with a barrage of kicks before knocking her onto and breaking the table with the last kick.
You then dash over to Rarity and cry out "Shoryuken!" and uppercut the fashionista so she smashes into the ceiling before roughly crashing onto the boulder. Unbelievably, she ignores her obvious injuries and starts fussing over her boulder,
"You savage brute! You could've tarnished Tom! Don't worry you Diamond hunk! Mama Rarity will make you shine like new."
You turn your glowing eyes on Fluttershy and you swore you saw a look of pure fear on her face, but you're too enraged to care as you lash out with the nightmare tail and grab her before violently slamming her into a bookcase as the DFV whispers,
Yes... Crush the life out of her once sweet little throat... Deja vu much?
Giving in to the whispers, you move your tail to her throat and squeeze, but you're suddenly knocked on your side by a blast of magic as Fluttershy starts gasping for air. You get up ready to tear apart the first living thing you see, but Twilight levitates a (somehow still sleeping) Nightshade towards you as she yells,
"Here's your daughter! She's fine! Just take her and get away from my friends!"
Snapping out of it, you saw the damaged mares and realized what you were about to do. You quickly grab Nightshade, put her in The Inventory, and ran away with tears of regret and sorrow in your eyes. As you're running away, you don't notice the mare running towards you due to the tears in your eyes and since lady luck hates you, you both crashed into each other head on. You hold your head in pain as you curse lady luck. As you're about to mumble a sorry to the pony you hit, you hear her say,
"Your'e... the... Hooded Offender!" You are about to scram when she said that, thinking she was going to attack you or something. When you notice something...
Why is she blushing so hard? Does she have a fever or something?
Be careful. This one is already gray. You might not be able to trust anything she says or does. But since she's blushing, she might be a fan. And if she's a fan, she might help you figure something out. Aside form Discord and the Deadly Five, there's one party whose motives you don't know yet: the Doctor's. He said he would contact you in the hall of mirrors, but you haven't heard from him. Just what are you supposed to be doing?
A pony that is actually likes you instead of instantly hating you? This could be interesting... and a little scary.
Careful, Bugze, she could secretly be an assassin trying to get close... but then again, she could just be a fan mare... either way, you could get mauled...
The mare continues to stare at you with big sparkling eyes. No seriously, her eye are sparkling and she looks like shes about to exploded in happiness. You can't help but think as you stare back,
Careful Bugze, for all you know this could be a assassin sent to kill you by your ex-queen-
The mare in front of you starts to giggle like a fanfilly. You tilt your head in confusion as you think,
Then again she could be a fanfilly... of course that means I'm still in danger!
You shiver in dread as you remember the time you went to a music convention in Manehatten that had *gag* Justin Beatbox there (you were on an official mission for the Hive, but you got sidetracked as usual). While you were there (dressed up as a supervillain of course), you happened to pass by where he was having a panel. You were planing to throw a pie at his annoying-voiced face when you heard this high-pitched scream coming from the room. You decided to take a peek to see what was going on and what you saw horrified you to this day, Beatbox being dragged into a crowd of screaming mares and fillies. While he was being dragged, mares would hop onto him and tear off pieces of his clothing and mane while shouting the creepiest of things like "I wanna bare your foals! and "Give me your kidneys!" You did what any reasonable stallion would do in that situation... you scream bloody murder and slammed the door before any of the fan mares could get out. You still have nightmares to this day about that experience...
With that in mind, you can't help but think,
Lady luck, if you have any respect for me left, please, please, let this mare just have a fever. Or she could just be grayed like the mares (given how grey she is, I wouldn't be surprised...), or even an assassin out to jam a hidden blade into my neck, just ANYTHING but a rabid fanfilly...
As you're begging lady luck that this mare is anything but a fan mare, and random thought enters you mind,
You know something, I know almost everyling's motive in this whole mess. The Deadly 5 want me dead, this lunatic Discord wants me to be his twisted evil friend (reminds me of a certain evil voice *cough*DFV*cough*), but there's one party's motives who I don't understand... The Doctor's.
As you think this, you begin to pace back and froth while rubbing your chin with your hoof in thought, causing the grey mare to look at you strangely.
I mean, he made me come out of hiding, give up my peaceful life in Appleloosa, and put my daughter back into danger, but he doesn't even bother to show up! I mean who does that?! And now, not one, but TWO evil beings are trying to be my friend and/or master! I swear the next time I see him I'm gonna-
"Hey, Mister Offender, are you alright?"
You angry mental rambling is cut short when your thoughts are interrupted by the gray mare. You turn to her and are about to respond rudely to her question due to your anger, when...
you act all gently bugy around this mare since she isnt trying to kill you ask her what her name is see why she's blushing and why she isnt trying to kill you.
Bugzy, you need to stay calm and buggy on! In this case, as the mare is not tring to kill you, (yet) u should be nice to her.
Calm down bug, there's no reason to be mad at her... Unless she's a assassin, in which case then you can be mad, but for now act nice. Got it, deep breaths, deep breaths...
After you managed to calm yourself down before you do something stupid... again. You then answer the mares question in a calm tone,
"Uh yeah I'm fine hehehe, just thinking is all. Now I've got a question for you. Who are you and why aren't you trying to kill me?"
She seems taken aback by your question, before she says in a overly excited tone...
She realizes she hasn't introduced herself and begins stammering "Oh, yes. Well... I am Octavia. I was there when you saved everyone at the gala. I honestly thought we were done for when the ceiling began to collapse. You saved our lives... you saved my life." Her blush intensifies at that last part and she bats her eyelashes.
She looks at you, takes a breath and proclaims O: "I'm a Huge fan of yours! In Fact, I'm Vice President of your Fan Club! I'm Octavia by the way, and it is an honor to meet you again after your Resurrection! (She Starts Shaking your hoof vigorously)" OK, you weren't expecting that, seeing as how you just fought four mares with her same coat color and everything You: Oh, Umm...That's nice? Wait! I have a Fan Club? O: Of Course you do, how could you not? You're the hero that Equestria Needs even if you're not the one it wants. I knew you would come back! The minute the weather started pouring Chocolate Milk I knew you would come back to save the day! She says in a fangirl squeal You: Um...(Seriously, that's a lot to take in. Though it is nice that you apparently have more supporters than you thought) O: OH will you please come with me? My Friends and I are all followers of you oh Great Hooded Offender! We will help you with anything you need. She leans in close to your face and says in a seductive Whispher O: Anything... Now you have a blush on your face as red as The Hick's Gigundo Brother, but luckily she can't see it with the Hood. You: Heh heh heh (you laugh nervously) Well OK, yes! Let's figure out this problem! Take me to my Fans! She Squees happily as she takes you by the hoof and drags you towards a house in the middle of town. She all but kicks down the door as she jumps through and proclaims. O: Everyone!!!! HE'S BACK!!!! You see gasps of surprise from countless hiding ponies. There's a White Unicorn with crazy shades on, a Green Unicorn with a Harp Cutiemark, an Earth Pony with a Candy Cutie Mark, A Violet Pony with a cutie mark of Grapes and countless others who all look to you in Awe You: ummm....HI? The all break out cheering
"Kill you? Never! I'm Octavia. I was there when you saved everypony at the gala! I honestly thought we were done for when the ceiling began to collapse. You saved our lives... you saved my life."
Her blush intensifies at that last part, before she quickly shakes her head as she stutters,
"And... and besides, I could never kill you. I'm just became a huge fan when you saved me, I'm even the vice-president of the Ponyville faction of your fan club 'The Horde'. And sir, I must say it is a honor to meet you after your resurrection!"
As she's saying this, she starts to shake your hoof vigorously (You think it could put Braeburn's to shame). After you finally stop your hoof from shaking, you guiltily remember the melee at the GGG and say,
"Uhhhh, you do know that I was the nightmare psycho monster that attacked and destroyed the gala... right?"
You look down in shame as you said this, but to your surprise Octavia giggles and says,
"Of course I do, but I believe that you made up for it by saving us all from the ceiling when it was collapsing. Also, that Blueblood jerk made several uncouth passes at me, I noticed him leering at my flank the entire night, not to mention acting like a total jerk to my acquaintance Miss Rarity. Plus..."
She blushes as she continues,
"During the brawl, I was running for cover when this big Diamond Dog pounced on me. I felt so terrified and helpless, but you grabbed him off of me, slammed him into some Guards, then threw him into one of the ice sculptures. If you hadn't done that I...*shiver* I don't ever want to think of what that brute would've done to me..."
She then began to rub her hoof on the ground while mumbling so low that you can't hear her, but you swore you heard her say "love" and "you". But you just shrug it off and say,
"Oh, that's awesome I guess-wait. Fan Club!" you yell as you remember that "And it even has Factions!?"
Of course, this is all coming from a mare who has the same coat color as the mares who, just a few minutes ago, were acting completely opposite of themselves, so I have no idea if I can trust a word she says. That and I know from that one gossip magazine I read back at Appleloosa that there were rumors of a fan club which was confirmed by all those ponies who went to my 'memorial', but I never thought it would be big enough to have factions! How is that even poss-
Your mental rambling is interrupted when the grey mare, Octavia, spoke again.
"Of course you do! The biggest faction of 'The Horde' is in Canterlot if I remember correctly. And how could you not have a fan club? You're the hero that Equestria needs even if you're not the one it wants. I knew you would come back! The minute the weather started pouring Chocolate Milk I knew you would come back to save the day *SQUEEEEEEEEE*!"
You flinch at how high pitched her squeeing is, and you think in fear,
Luna help me, she is a super fan mare! Lady luck hates me for sure.
Suddenly, your vision is covered by grey as you suddenly find her inches away as she Ooo's and says,
"It's true, your face really is covered in darkness."
Seeing as your personal space is being violated, you say what any other pony or bug would say,
"Uhhhhhhhhhh..."
Octavia suddenly grabs your hoof again as she says excitedly,
"Hooded Offender will you please come with me? My Friends and I are all followers of you and they would love to meet you in person! We'll help you with anything you need."
She then suddenly leans in close to your ear and she says in a seductive whisper,
"Anything..."
*Splurt*
Blood shoots out of your nose as she says that and a blush as red as The Hick's Gigundo Brother forms on your face. You quickly regain your composure as you say in a nervous stutter,
"Heh heh heh well..okay, yes! Let's go meet the fans!"
Octavia squees happily as she drags you to who knows where...
10 MINUTES LATER
It appears that Octavia is dragging you towards a house in the middle of Ponyville. You're currently covered in soap because apparently Discord thought it would be funny if the ground was turned to soap. As you reach the door to the house (which, for some reason, is painted entirely black) Octavia all but kicks down the door as she jumps through (still holding your hoof like its her cello) and proclaims in pure happiness,
The room suddenly erupts in shouts of happiness and awe. You begin to smile at this when...
The unicorn with a wild blue mane by the name of Vinyl Scratch walks up and bows before putting you in a bone-crushing hug. "Aww yeah! What'd I tell you all? The legend never dies! He's back and he's gonna save us all!" Octavia manages to pry the eccentric mare off you, allowing you to breathe again. "Vinyl, it's rude to invade one's personal space like that." she turns to you "You know... unless you want that from us. We'd be happy to snuggle- I mean, give you support." Vinyl gets a cheeky grin on her face. "Tavi, do you have the hots for the Hood?" "Wh- what?! NO! Of course not, I just admire him and-" "Threesome later!" Vinyl yells as she drags the two of you into a group hug.
The unicorn with the wild blue mane and the wicked shades (you want your own now, but in orange instead of purple) walks up and bows before putting you in a bone-crushing hug. Your face starts to turn blue and you think,
Gak! Can't... breath... need... air.
The neon blue-haired unicorn then says as you slowly run out of air,
"Aww yeah! What'd I tell you all? The legend never dies! He's back and he's gonna save us all!"
Octavia, noticing your now limp form, manages to pry the eccentric mare off you causing you to collapse onto the floor as you think,
Air, sweet sweet air, never leave me again.
Octavia gives a disapproving glare towards the mare as she says,
"Vinyl! It's rude to invade one's personal space like that."
She turns to you as you finish gasping for air and says,
"You know... unless you want that from us. We'd be happy to snuggle- I mean, give! Yeah, give you support."
You look at Octavia strangely as the now named Vinyl says with a cheeky grin,
"Tavi, do you have the hots for the Hood?"
Octavia blushes bright red as she says in a stutter,
"Wh- what?! NO! Of course not, I just admire him and-"
"Threesome later!"
Vinyl yells, interrupting Octavia, as she drags the two of you into a group hug.
*Spurt*
You begin to blush as red as a apple as even more blood spurts from your nose as Octavia blushes even brighter and yells,
"VINYL!!!"
Assuming that these mares are probably are under the chaos influence and regretfully remembering your vow to Luna to be good, you regretfully reject/resist to take advantage of the threesome offer... Being a hero is so hard at times.
Is she bucking serious! I mean, I've never even been noticed by mares throughout my life and now I have these mares throwing themselves at me! Besides, Octavia and Vinyl do look pretty cute- NO! Bad Bug! These mares are obviously affected by all this craziness and ain't thinking of their own free will! Remember your vow to Luna? (You know, before she threatened to kill your daughter... *snap*) You're a good bug now. You save ponies, you have self-restraint... you sort your recyclables. Yeah... good changeling stuff.
"Uh, no thanks Vinyl. You see I got a, uh... thing that needs to be done later, so yeah I can't make it to that so... yeah."
Vinyl lets you go and you see the disappointed look on her face, but she suddenly perks up with a mischievous smile as she asks,
"Soooo... got a special somepony, H.O.?"
You blush uncontrollably as all the mares in the room lean in to hear the answer.
Luna help me...
30 MINUTES LATER
The mare quickly explains herself to be Octavia, and to be al loyal member of the horde. Somewhat taken aback by meeting one of your fans, you exchange a bit of awkward conversation until Octavia asks what you're doing here. You explain how you were in debt to the Doctor, how he asked you to come to Canterlot, how you were roped into searching for Discord, and how you just beat up the mane six and ran away. "Well you're going to go apologize, right?" She asks. "Why should I. They'd probably just end up attacking me again," you reply. "But you've got to," Octavia tells you. "If you don't, they'll just go on forever believing that you're evil. You've got to forgive them for their crimes and hope that they forgive you for yours. And if they don't, tell them why they should." By the time Octavia has finished, a soap box has oddly appeared beneath her. As you process what she's just said, you're eyes shine with rainbow light. You suddenly realize that, though the mane six have been unfair to you, you did beat the tar out of them several times. Some of them needed to learn to be more open minded, but you'd just have to show them how. This epiphany completed, you resolve to find twilight sparkle and apologize to her. You thank Octavia for everything as you run away.
After a brief party where you signed autographs, drank some punch, made the mares laugh with some of your stories, made them cheer by performing a few of your moves (most notably Falcon Punching a watermelon which somehow caused the pieces to land perfectly in several glasses as smoothies), patched some things around the clubhouse out of habit, and even learned a few things about your fans (Octavia is the cello player for a classically-trained four-pony musical ensemble, that Fluttershy is the president of the Ponyville faction of 'The Horde' (go figure), Vinyl is Octavia's foalhood friend and roommate, Lyra is a fan of "My Little Human" *shudder*, The earth pony with the candy Cutie Mark is Sweetie "Bon Bon" Drops and is Lyra's roommate, foalhood friend, and possible marefriend (you can't tell yet), and the violet earth pony with a cutie mark of grapes is Berry Punch and she's a mother and a high-functioning alcoholic (not a good combination in your eyes)), you are seen standing outside the Club House (that's what the name of the building apparently, and it magically is invisible to those who don't believe the Offender is a hero) with a sad look. You hear the door behind you open as Octavia walks out. She looks at you worried as she asks,
"Offender, you okay?"
You sigh in sadness as you explain how you were roped into searching for Discord, the events of the maze, and how you just beat up the mane six and ran away (You left out the Doctor part because even if she is a fan mare, there was no way she would believe that and Nightshade is a strict secret only shared with those you really trust). She looks at you with pity as she asks,
"Well... you're going to go apologize, right?"
You sadly reply...
"Why should I. They all hate me anyway and would just attack me again."
Octavia gets a determined look as she says,
"But you have to! If you don't, they'll just go on forever believing that you're this evil menace instead of the hero that I... that we... know you are. You've got to forgive them for their crimes and hope that they forgive you for yours like The Horde did. And if they don't, just tell them why they should!"
By the time Octavia has finished, a soapbox has oddly appeared beneath her. As you process what she just said, you suddenly realize that even though the Deadly Five have been unfair to you, you did violently trounce them several times. Some of them needed to learn to be more open-minded, but you'd just have to show them how. This epiphany completed, you resolve to find Twilight and apologize to her. You hug Octavia and say,
"Thank you Octavia."
Octavia only blushes bright red in response and remains frozen as you end the hug and mutter,
"Let this work for once... please."
You then proclaim,
"HOODED OFFENDER, AWAY!"
Before teleporting back to Twilight's house.
After you teleport away, Vinyl walks out of the clubhouse, walks over to Octavia (still frozen and blushing fiercely) and asks,
"Hey Tavi, where did H.O. go?"
Octavia just faints as soon as she hears that.
BACK AT TWILIGHT'S HOUSE
"Ahhhhhhhhh!"
*CRASH*
"Ow."
Your teleport worked cause you appeared at Twilight's house, unfortunately it teleported you above her house so you kind of crashed though the roof. You get up while rubbing your head as you mutter,
"I really need someling to teach me how to use this stinking spell."
When you get up, you see Twilight staring sadly at you. That would have been a good thing, but there's just one problem...
"Twilight! Oh sweet Celestia, NNOOOO! I was to late to save- What are you doing?" you interrupt your own dramatic anguish to stare at the unicorn as she packs a suitcase. "I'm leaving." She tells you "Discord can do whatever he wants; I won't stop him." This boggles your mind. If there's anything Twilight is known for... it's liking books a whole, whole lot. But if there's another thing she's known for, its stopping the bad guys, painfully. "Twilight that's not you talking, it's Discord's mind games! Snap out of it!" you slap her. Normally a suicidally bad idea, but this time she just slowly turns her head back to you, her expression, completely defeated. "It doesn't matter," She says with tears welling up "there's nothing left that's worth saving. My friends are gone and even if they weren't... they're not the ponies I became friends with anymore. Why would I keep trying when that's been lost? Why keep going when our friendship is over?" "Because if you don't, that means Discord just gets away with all of this! You went out of you way to stop me from doing whatever, so why does he get a free pass?! Huh?"
Bugze, you've got to snap her out of it, tell her to remember all the good times she had with her friends... just don't mention the times they tried to kill you...
All you can do is stare in shock at the grayed form of Twilight Sparkle. The look of pure defeat and hopelessness on her face saddens you to no end. You can't help but think,
Luna no... this can't be happening! She looked so determined when we were trapped in that maze. To see her like this... I can't even-
You end your thoughts as you decide to voice your sadness and say,
"No, no, no, no, Twilight! This couldn't have happened, it just, it jus... oh sweet Luna NOOOOOOOO! I was too late, too bucking late to save yo-What are you doing?"
You interrupt your melodramatic despair (including cliche hoof-pounding the ground in anger) as you stare at unicorn as she starts to... pack her bags? Twilight just sighs in defeat as she says with a hopeless tone,
"Isn't it obvious, I'm leaving. Discord can do whatever he wants, I won't stop him. I'm done saving Equestria, I'm done with friendship. I just don't care anymore."
As she says this, she throws a crown into a nearby trashcan. For some reason, you can't help but feel that the crown is not only very important, but also very dangerous. You stop looking at the crown as you see Twilight pick up the suitcase with her magic and start to walk downstairs. You stare at her retreating form in complete shock and think,
This... This isn't her! If there's one thing I know about Twilight... it's that she likes to zap me with magic... a lot. But, if there's another thing I know about her, it's that she'll never give up trying to stop the bad guy (usually me... painfully...).
You finally snap out of your mental rambling when you hear a door open and close. You shout out,
"Woah, wait!" as you run down the stairs and out the front door.
You run in front of Twilight, blocking her path. Twilight just gives you a sad look as she says,
"What are you doing? Can't you see that I don't want to be here anymore?"
Deciding that you can't stand to see her like this anymore, you give her a cold glare as you say in a determined tone,
"Twilight that's not you talking, it's Discord's mind games! From what I've seen, you love your friends... for some strange reason. Remember all the times you've had with them! Remember all the memories you've made with them! Remember all the times you all beat the stuffing out of me- Wait..."
Twilight just continues to stare at you with a empty look.You growl in anger as you yell,
"Snap out of it!"
You reel your hoof back and...
*SMACK*
You slap her with enough force to snap her head to the left. Normally it would be outright suicide to slap a mare, but considering that it's one of those "Get a hold of yourself, mare!" slaps, you hope she'll understand. Twilight just slowly looks back at you with tears going down her face as she says in a defeated tone,
"It doesn't matter, there's nothing left that's worth saving. My friends are gone and even if they weren't... they're not the ponies I became friends with anymore. Why would I keep trying when that's been lost? Why keep going when our friendship is over?"
By the time she's finished, there are streams of tears falling off her face. You look at her in pity, but that pity soon turns into anger as you shout,
"Because if you don't, that means Discord just gets away with all of this! You went out of you way to stop me from doing whatever, so why does he get a free pass?! Huh? You're the most determined pony I've ever had the displeasure of meeting. You didn't give up on taking me down, why give up on taking Discord down!?"
Twilight stops crying as she shakes her head in sadness as she whispers,
"You wouldn't understand."
And with that she...
Grey Twilight just looks at you for a couple seconds, then turns and walks away, back into her house. All hope is truly lost. "Woah, Twilight!" you call after her, following her in. "What are you doing? Not going to stop Discord, not going to save the day? You're not even going to try to slaughter me where I stand?" "Go away," she replies sadly as she starts looking for Spike. "I don't have time to deal with you now." "You're just letting Discord win?" you scream in surprise. "You're just gonna give up and let your enemies walk all over you? That's not like you! Twilight, what happened to you?" She doesn't answer you; instead she looks around for Spike. "Spike? Where are you?" You find Spike curled up on the floor, a large pile of letters heaped up next to him. "Spike, what is all this?" Twilight asks. "The princess has been sending these since we got back," Spike moans as Twilight picks one upand begins to read, amazed. "These are all the letters i sent to the princess," she gaps as she reads on. You swear you see a time of purple climbing up her coat. "A true friend will always be there for another. Friends can be a great source of strength and courage. A true true friend helps a friend in need." The purple is definitely there, and climbing. And then it stops. And fades. "But..." Twilight whispers to herself. "My friends have been awful to me. They've been greedy, dishonest, and mean. Are... are they really friends?" You remember Octavia' s soapbox speech from before. You remember the feeling of your first friend, and then your second, and then your third. Ask of them. And then you turn to Twilight. "Listen to me Twilight!" you scream. She stares at you in shock, clearly taken aback. "You have spent the last year hurting me, insulting me, distrusting me, and basically being a species-est jerk! And you know what?" She stares at you, eyes wide with fear. "I forgive you, Twilight... my friend." The hearts in her head start spinning. "Forgive...friend...Forgive my friend... *ding!*" In a flash of light Twilight is purple once more. "Forgive my friends! I know what to do!" "Great," you say. "So, I'll just be on my way-" "Oh no, you don't!" Twilight screams. "You beat us up the last time you saw us- you owe us! Look, I need time to get my friends back in order; you distract Discord, make sure he doesn't notice I'm up to something. Now!" She finishes. There's the Twilight you know.
Twilight reveals that she's always suspected you were a good bug, but because Rainbow Dash and Applejack hate you so much she also takes up the anti-Bugze banner because she didn't want to risk losing their friendship over disagreeing on that subject.
Turns and walks away. Remembering that you have to snap her out of it, you quickly follow after her and shout,
"Woah, Twilight! What are you doing? Aren't you going to try and kill me for hitting you? Don't tell me you don't even what to try to slaughter me where I stand?"
Twilight doesn't even bother to look at you as she starts to look for something while saying,
"Go away, I don't have time to deal with you now. I have to find Spike and leave."
Twilight then gives a hollow laugh as she says,
"You know, I always suspected you were a good guy. Ever since you saved us from that dragon. But I never said anything because I was afraid of losing Applejack and Rainbow's friendship to the point where I even rationalized you had some sort of 'mind control' spell."
She gives another hollow laugh before saying,
"I guess it was gonna happen no matter what, huh."
You stare at her in shock at what she said, but you shake your head and think Worry about that later, fix this mess now.Your eye twitches in annoyance as you yell,
"You're just letting Discord win then? You're just gonna give up and let your enemies walk all over you? That's not like you! Twilight, what happened to you? What happened to the determined mare who would stop at nothing to stop me... Even though I'm not a bad bug anyway!"
She doesn't answer you at all, instead she looks around some more as she shouts out,
"Spike? Where are you?"
You suddenly hear a moan of pain coming from the next room. Worried that something might have happened to Spike (you guess it was him at least), you charge though the door and see...
Spike curled up on the floor, a large pile of letters heaped up next to him.
"Spike, what is all this?" Twilight asks with a slight hint of worry.
"The princess *burp* has been *burp* sending these *burp* since we got *burp* *hack* *burp* back," Spike moans as Twilight picks one up and begins to read the letter out loud with a look of amazement in her face. You look at the piles of letters in confusion as you think,
What the heck? Why is Spike burping up letters? What are these letters anywa-
"These are all the letters I sent to the princess,"
Well that answers that question...
You think to yourself in a deadpanned tone. You look over to Twilight as she continues to read her 'friendship report' (Must have been a slow day in Canterlot when Celestia made this a thing) and you swear you see a time of purple climbing up her coat.
What the hay?
You rub your eyes to see if you're just seeing things.
Nope, still there. The purple is slowly climbing up her back hoof... I've finally gone insane haven't I?
As you start to second guess your sanity, Twilight starts to use her magic to float multiple scrolls in front of her as she reads out from each one,
"A true friend will always be there for another. Friends can be a great source of strength and courage. The Hooded Offender is being obnoxious again-"
"Hey, I take offense to that! I'm not obnoxious, if anything I"m moderately annoying at most!" You yell out in annoyance.
Twilight ignores your out burst as she continues,
"A true true friend helps a friend in need."
The purple is definitely there, and it's climbing! Maybe it's a sign that she's turning back to normal. Yeah, everything's gonna be fi-
It suddenly stops and it begins to fade away. You can only stare at it's fading form in shock, you then proceeded to face hoof as you think,
Me and my dumb jinxing thoughts... CURSE YOU LADY LUCK!
"But..." You hear Twilight whisper to herself, "My friends have been awful to me. They've been greedy, dishonest, and mean. Are... are they really friends?"
You suddenly get flashbacks to Octavia' s soapbox speech from before and then remember how you felt when you got your first friend, and then your second, and then your third... You remember Braeburn, the Horde (the club ones at least), and Nightshade. With a determined look in your eyes you turn towards Twilight and grab her to make her face you and scream,
"Listen to me Twilight!" She stares at you in shock, clearly taken aback. "You have spent the last year distrusting me, insulting me, hurting me, and basically being a species-est jerk! And you know what?"
She stares at you, eyes wide with fear. She then closes her eyes and waits for the oncoming pain. But you just smile sadly as you...
Hug and cry for her! Yeah! Tear and love can always save everypony from falling to the darkside!!!
Say to grey Twilight, "Don't give in to chaos, Use the friendship Luke! I mean Twilight.
Hug her. She gasps in surprise as some tears escape her eyes. You then whisper to her in what you hope is a comforting tone,
"I forgive you, Twilight... I forgive you, my 'friend'. And Twilight..." You end the hug and push her in front you, hooves still on her shoulders and her head still facing you, and with a look of shame in your eyes you say in sadness,
"Use the friendship Luk- I mean Twilight. Don't ever give in to the darkness Twilight. I gave in and... I almost didn't come back."
Memories of the Gala come back and haunt you as you say this. Twilight looks at you in awe as she starts to say,
"Forgive... friend... Forgive my friend... *ding!*"
In a flash of light Twilight is purple once more.
"Forgive my friends! I know what to do!"
Woah! Talk about a personality change! You think in shock as you let go of Twilight. You smile as you say,
"Also, I'm sorry about what happened with the others (even though they started it), I hope you can forgive me."
Twilight gives you a small smile as she nods yes. You smile in happiness as you say,
"Great, so I'll just be on my way-"
"Oh no, you don't!" Twilight shouts. "You beat us up the last time you saw us- you owe us!"
There's the Twilight I know...
You smile slightly before it dissappears as you say...
You respond, "You're one to talk. You guys have been chasing and pounding me since day 1 so between the thrashings I gave you at the forest, Ponyville, and the Gala I'd say we're more than even!"
"You're one to talk bookworm! You guys have been chasing and pounding me since day 1 so between the thrashings I gave you at the forest, Ponyville, and the Gala I'd say we're more than even!"
"More than even is still uneven, ergo you still owe us."
"Yeah, well... uh... er... fine." You say in a defeated tone as Twilight victoriously smiles before declaring,
"Now let's go get my friends back!"
Twilight runs out of the house and you're about to follow her when you see Spike still lying down in pain. You give a soft sigh as you walk over to him. He looks at you in awe as he says...
Also, you have a conversation with him to soothe him to sleep since he is a big fan of yours. Spike: I can't believe it, the Hooded Offender, Saving Me From Death Itself! You: You just got a stomachache kid Spike: It still counts! You: OK Then...anyway, thanks for thinking that I'm a hero and all Spike: No problem, I'm part of the Horde here in Ponyville, I'm Co-Vice President with Octavia! You: (Smile) well thanks kid, get some rest, right now I have to do something incredibly stupid. Spike: What? You: Challenging a God of Chaos to a fight...Ya I might be screwed.
"I can't believe it, the Hooded Offender, Saving Me From Death Itself!"
You chuckle at his statement as you help him up while saying,
"Hehehe you just got a stomachache kid, just drink a ginger ale and you'll be fine in a hour or two."
Spike gives a pout as he says,
"It still counts!"
You chuckle as you hold hold your hooves up defensibly and say,
"Okay, okay you win kid. Anyway, thanks for thinking that I'm a hero and all"
Spike gives a tired yaw as he says sleepily (Probably tried out form all the letter puking),
"No problem, I'm part of the Horde here in Ponyville, I'm Co-Vice President with Octavia! But don't tell the girls, they;ll have my head if they find out (plus Rarity will NEVER go out with me if she knew...)."
You smile at the kid and say,
"Well thanks kid, get some rest, right now I have to do something incredibly stupid."
Spike looks at you in confusion and asks, "What?"
You sigh as you say,
"I'm gonna go out and catch five insane mares to turn them back to just crazy, then I'm gonna go take on a god of chaos... In other words, a typical Monday."
Spike nods his head in agreement. You're about to say something, when you hear Twilight yell,
"HURRY UP OFFENDER! I ALMOST GOT APPLEJACK!"
You then hear Applejack scream,
"NO SHE DOESN'T, SHE'S NOWHERE CLOSE TO ME! AND YOUR STILL MY MOST FAVORITE PERSON IN THE WORLD!"
You sigh in defeat as you say goodbye to Spike as you walk out the door to see Twilight right on Applejack's heels. You smirk slightly as you think about the item you want and you pull out...
You leered at the running form of LiarJack. "Applejack had her lasso rope. I have my duct tape."
Your duct tape from The Inventory. You look over to where Applejack is running and say,
"Applejack may have her lasso, but I have my duct tape."
With that you start to swing your duct tape around like a sling before you throw it at Applejack...
48 MINUTES LATER
That had to be the strangest forty-eight minutes of your life... and that's saying something. After you captured Applejack in duct tape, Twilight used some sort of spell on her. Suddenly, Applejack's eyes turn into a picture show as they play (what you think is) a bunch of her memories (including ones involving you). After that she turned orange again. After explaining why she was stuck in duck tape, and getting punched in the face by her, then having Twilight step between you and the hick before things could escalate, the three of you set out to get the others.
First was Rarity...
Sweetie Belle (secretly a Horde member out of rebellion at her sister) helps you get into The Carousel Boutique (which has been barricaded by Rarity so she can horde "Tom" all to herself)
One of the Crusaders, Sweetie Belle (who just so happens to be a fan of yours... and Rarity's sister (that must lead to some awkward dinner conversations...)) helped sneak the three of you into Rarity's home (called The Carousel Boutique) which was boarded up so that noling could steal 'Tom' (why Tom of all names for a rock, if anything you would have called it "Rick" or "Rocky"). After multiple needle wounds, crying, and very... very scary threats (along the lines of 'I'll make a suit out of your skin'), you finally managed to hold her down long enough for Twilight to do the spell (Applejack suspiciously didn't try to help you deal with Rarity...). After getting slapped by Rarity for holding her down like a ruffian (and yet she liked it when she was your meat shield... mares, you''ll never understand them), the four of you split up to tackle Pinkie and Fluttershy. You and Twilight went after Fluttershy while Rarity and Applejack went looking for Pinkie.
The Horde helps you catch and restrain their Discorded president, Fluttershy (cue Fluttershy and you apologizing to each other for the beat-down and keep-away with your daughter... And cue surprise from The Horde when they overhear you're a daddy)
You and Twilight ran into Octavia and Vinyl on the way to Fluttershy's. Deciding that you and Twilight could use the extra hoof, you asked them if they wanted to help. They accepted as soon as the words 'help me' left your mouth (Octavia was blushing like a mad mare the whole time for some odd reason). Twilight asks,
"Why are they so willing to help you?"
You replied... "Because... Hey, is that her hut?"
You and the group of four made it to Fluttershy's shed and found her making fun of some bears. When she saw you... well let's just say words were said, ponies were thrown, alot of trees need replanting, and some intervention was needed before you hurt anypony. Finally you, Octavia, and Vinyl managed to hold her down (you find out that Octavia took Karate classes with Rarity and even fought off a few changelings during the invasion alongside Vinyl. When you asked Octavia why she didn't just use her Karate on that Diamond Dog at the gala, she got all flustered and just told you to focus on the job at hoof) so Twilight could do the spell. After Fluttershy was returned to normal, she hugged you as soon as she saw you and cried,
"Oh Hoody, I"m so, so, so, so, so, so sorry about all those mean things I said to you and for what I did to your daughter which was just unacceptable. I will completely understand if you don't want to be my friend anymore..."
You give a small smile as you pull Fluttershy into the hug as you say,
"It's okay Fluttershy, you're forgiven. You'll always be my friend. I mean if you could forgive me for slamming you into a shelf and almost strangling you... twice..."
Before Fluttershy could respond, Vinyl and especially Octavia scream,
"WHAT?!!!"
Then two things happened,
1. They demanded to know who the mother was (Octavia the most, who kept on asking where 'the mother' is so that she could 'polity' ask her to leave you alone... for some odd reason).
2. They fainted as soon as you told them the truth.
Twilight decides you don't have time to wake them up so you all put the unconscious mares in Fluttershy's hut with a note that read,
Off to take on a god of chaos. See ya soon. -The Hooded Offender P.S. Fluttershy asks if you can feed her animals while she's gone. P.P.S. HOODED OFFENDER, AW(*scribbles as Twilight yanked you away before you could finish*)
You all went back to Ponyville to see a hog-tied grey Pinkie sitting next to Applejack and Rarity. One magic spell later and shes back to her pink bubbly self... joy...
Finally this lead up to where you are now... trying to figure out how to catch Rainbow Dash...
After helping Twilight restore Fluttershy and three more of the Deadly Five, there's only one pony left: Rainbow Dash. And you have a genius plan to catch her. "Let's have Fluttershy sneak up on her while she's napping and hold her down. Then the rest of you can pull her to the ground and Twilight can use her magic spell thingy." Applejack raises an eyebrow. "Fluttershy. Pin down Rainbow Dash. How?" "Good point. Alright, all of you get in a hot air balloon and--" "Let me stop you there, varmint. What would keep her from flyin' off full speed when she sees us? She carried four unconscious ponies on her back up in Cloudsdale. She can outfly a balloon." Twilight taps her hoof for attention. "We need somepony to lure her in close. And we have the perfect volunteer." You can't help but notice the twinkle in her eye when she looks at you. "You're... talking about me, aren't you?" "You know her trigger word." --- "FILLY-FOOOOOLEEEEEEER!" Your scream echoes from the hill you're standing on. The sound is soon replaced by a high pitched whistling. You shake in your cloak and turn around, searching the sky for what you know is coming. Rainbow Dash slams into you from behind. Her tackle sends you both rolling on the ground, and she ends up on top of you. She sneers and raises her hoof to punch you where your face would be. "WHAT-DID-YOU-CALL-ME?!" You cover up as best you can, but the rain of blows won't stop. "Twilight! Now!" "I'LL-TEACH-YOU!" "Twilight! Please! I don't want to die here!" "BREAK-YOUR-JAW-YOU-WON'T-SAY-WHOA!" A rope finally yanks her off of you. You glare at Applejack as she hogties Rainbow Dash. "You were enjoying that, weren't you?" She snickers.
And you have a genius plan to catch her,
"Let's have Fluttershy sneak up on her while she's napping and hold her down. Then the rest of you can pull her to the ground and Twilight can use her magic spell thingy."
Applejack raises an eyebrow,
"Fluttershy. Pin down Rainbow Dash. How?"
You blush in embarrassment as you say,
"Good point. No offense Fluttershy."
"None taken Hoody."
"Alright, all of you get in a hot air balloon and--"
Twilight interrupts you as she says,
"What would keep her from flyin' off full speed when she sees us? She carried four unconscious ponies on her back up in Cloudsdale. She can easily outfly a balloon."
Rarity taps her hoof for attention,
"We need somepony to lure her in close."
Applejack nods her head as she says,
"Somepony who can make her mad easily..."
Pinkie nods her head super fast as she says,
"And it has to be somepony who's really, really, really, really good at drawing attention."
Twilight smiles as she says,
"And we have the perfect volunteer."
Suddenly everypony is looking at you with a dark smile (besides Fluttershy). You gulp in as you say,
"You're... talking about me, aren't you?"
Twilight nods her head and says,
"You know her trigger word."
You sigh in defeat and mutter,
"Why is it always me..."
THREE MINUTES LATER
You look around the field you're in in fear as you charge up your RCV and yell,
"RAINBOW DASH IS A FILLY-FOOOOOLEEEEEEE-" *WHAM*
When Rainbow Dash slams into you from behind. Her tackle sends you both rolling on the ground and she ends up on top of you. She snarls and raises her hoof to punch you where your face would be as she yells in pure rage,
"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!"
You cover up as best you can, but the rain of blows won't stop,
"Twilight! Now!"
"I'LL-TEACH-YOU!"
"Mares! Please! I don't want to die here!"
"BREAK-YOUR-JAW-YOU-WON'T-SAY-WHOA!"
A rope finally yanks her off of you. You glare at Applejack as she hogties Rainbow Dash.
"You were enjoying that, weren't you?"
She just snickers in response. You give her a deadpanned glare as Twilight does the spell on Rainbow behind you, and you say...
You reply to the mare's taunting, "Go ahead, laugh. A few more seconds and I was gonna Falcon Punch that fillyfooler in the liver!"
"Go ahead, laugh. A few more seconds and I was gonna Falcon Punch that fillyfooler in the live-! *Punch*"
Que you getting punched in the liver by said fillyfooler (while Fluttershy gasps "Hoody!" in horror) who chuckles,
"Thanks for the idea."
You just grunt and gasp in pain as you choke out,
"I... Hate... You..."
Rainbow snickers and says,
"Aww, I love you too Offender."
You finish gasping in pain as you glare at Rainbow and snap,
"Why don't ya take your hick marefriend and go find a cave so you two can have some 'alone time' you fillyfooler! Before things could escalate, Twilight says,
"Ahem! You two can fight later, right now we need to stop Discord, with The Elements of Harmony!"
She then levitates five necklaces towards the mares and the crown from before towards her head. The same feeling of dread from before appears as you look at the strange items. Before anything else could happen...
-After un-Discording all the mares, you all notice that Discord is creating more dangerously unstable chaos which ends up accidentally scattering the elements around town (something like he unwittingly throws away glass-shaped chocolate milk which lands between you all and explodes) so you volunteer to go confront/delay him while everypony else will try to retrieve the elements
You hear Discord's voice shout "FORE!!!"
You turn around just in time to see a bunch of milk-filled balloons heading straight towards you and the mares. Before you can do anything to stop them from hitting-
*splash*.
The milk bombs send milk forcefully splashing all over the place, which knocks all of you down and scatters the elements all over the town. As the mares look at where the elements used to be in shock, you see Discord causing more dangerously unstable forms of chaos (for example, he's now rolling giant balloons into a bunch of bowler ponies). You think,
At the rate he's going, that lunatic's gonna destroy the whole town! But those element thingys are scattered. What do I... *ding*
Getting an idea, you bark at the mares,
"Alright listen up!"
The mares look at you in shock at your outburst. Getting their attention, you continue,
"I"m gonna go and distract Discord, while you mares go and find those element thingys... got that!"
The mares all nod their heads, while Fluttershy looks at you in worry, but you give her a reassuring nod before you start to head off, but you suddenly turn and say,
"And don't be late this time! Now go!"
The mares nod and start to gallop away in search of the elements while you walk with a determined stride towards where Discord voice came from (you rationalize to yourself that if you're gonna face down a god of chaos, might as well start with a cool action-hero stride)...
A FEW MINUTES LATER
It's time to do what you haven't done in a long time: "I'M THE DISTRACTION!" you yelled at the Discord.
You find Discord sitting on a throne of some sort playing around with some bunnies (as in he's lifting them up in the air, spinning them around, turning them into birds, or turning them back into birds... you can't tell), but now it's time to do something you haven't done in a long time. You get his attention by shouting with the RCV...
"I'M A DISTRACTION!!!"
Discord snaps away the birds and/or bunnies as he chuckles at you display. After he's done laughing he says,
"So, you've decided to join my side player two?" and poofs a pair of controllers into his claws to emphasize his point as he offers one to you.
You laugh and say in a heroic tone,
"Nope! I"m player one, and you're the final boss that's gonna get his butt whooped by me!"
Discord chuckles and throws the controllers behind him (causing a "honk" and a "boink" for some reason...) before he says,
"Bring it on... friend"
Sweat goes down your forehead as you and Discord stand off in preparation to fight the most epic fight of all epicness that will end the debate of which is epic and which is epi-
"Daddy, what is that thing?"
...
"Huh?"
You look at The Inventory to see... Nightshade pointing adorably at Discord. Discord just looks at her in confusion, but then he starts to smile as he says,
"Ohhhh, a new player has entered the game!"
It's times like these that there are four simple words that you love to use, over and over again. And those words of wisdom are...
Buck you lady luck...
What do you do?
Episode 9: The Final Boss Of Chaos, The Hooded Offender vs. Discord!!
Discord teleports onto your back and talks to Nightshade. "Hello my dear, I am Discord, lord of chaotic fun. Since your daddy's being a big buzzkill..." he puts on a creepy mask "Do you want to play a game?" This of course terrifies her and she retreats into The Inventory. Discord raised an eyebrow (that keeps going and floats off his head). "Well that was quite rude of her, don't you think?" he asks you "I just wanted to share in some fun after all." "Discord..." you growl "GET OFF MY BACK! SHORYUKEN!" and the fight begins.
You're about to tell Nightshade to get back into The Inventory when you suddenly feel extra weight on your back. When you look, you yelp in surprise as you see Discord laying on your back wearing a sombrero and sunglasses. Before you can say anything, Discord says,
"Hello my dear, I am Discord, lord of chaotic fun. Since your daddy's being a big buzzkill..."
Nightshade gives a terrified "eep" as she retreats into The Inventory. Discord poofs the mask away and raises an eyebrow (that keeps going and floats off his head) before saying.
"Well that was quite rude of her, don't you think?" he asks you "I just wanted to share in some fun after all."
*snap*
Your eyes start to glow orange at Discord's tone and by him scaring Nightshade. You growl in anger,
"Discord... GET OFF MY BACK! SHORYUKEN!" and the fight begins as you jump at Discord to attack him...
...
Or you would have if he didn't suddenly appear dressed in a hoofball referee and blowing a whistle while putting up the "time-out" gesture. This somehow causes you to freeze in mid air as you stare at Discord in shock. Discord then snaps his fingers causing the outfit and whistle to disappear before he walks around you and says,
"Now now Offender, we can't start our game without..."
As soon as he says that, music starts to play, some balloons and piles of apples start to make music and Discord begins to sing!
(ha ha ha ha haaa)
"Well well well, what have we here, The Hooded Offender huh? Oooh I'm really scared ,So your the one everypony's talkin' about? hahaha
You're joking, you're joking, I cant believe it now, you're joking me, you gotta be, this cant be the right guy. He's chaotic and faceless I don't know which is best. I may just fall to pieces if I don't die laughing first."
If only, if only...you think vindictively as he continues,
"If only you had Pinkie-sense for the trouble that's in store, you better pay attention H.O cause I'm the chaos Lord.
Now if you aren't shaking there's something very wrong. Cause this may be the last time you hear the chaos song.
whoa (woah) whoa (woah) whoa (wooooow)
I'm the lord of chaos dude."
"Now if I'm feeling evil and which i Normally do, I may just cook a special batch of chocolate rain brew, and don't you know the one thing that would make it work so well, a little bit of magic dear now that would be just swell"
"Whoa (whoa)" "Whoa (whoa)"
"Yeah"
(he's the chaos making man)
You growl in anger at Discord's song and (deciding that you should mouth off to him) sing as well...
"You may be some ancient god of chaos, But I'm still Equestria's Most Wanted. So listen up, freak, I hope it's understood. Get right back to your stone, get the buck out of my neighborhood!"
Discord just laughs as he sings...
"Ha you're joking you're joking, I cant believe this news you think you'll be the death of me? I'll bring out the fun in you
It's funny, I'm laughing, you really are too much. and now with your permission dude, I'm going to do my stuff."
You look at him in confusion as you ask..
"What are you going to do?"
He puts his arm around you as he says,
"I'm going to make you my chaotic friend."
You try to Shoryuken him off, but you're still stuck in midair so he laughs before he makes a group of cards appear in your hoof and continues to sing...
"The sound of chaos can be heard just everywhere, for I'm a gambling chaos man, although I don't play fair."
At this part, you see him peeking at your cards (which happens to be a Royal Flush),
"It's much more fun I must confess with minds on the line, Not mine of course but your daughter's, now that would be just fine."
You glare daggers as your eyes glow orange in anger at what he said and you sing...
"You'll pay for threatening my daughters mind, prepare to become nothing but sludge."
"Oh Offender your something, you should see your face. Perhaps you should consider the conditions in place. Your powers are useless, cause your up against a level one-hundred chaos maker, now I'm the lord of chaos man, its time to make you my friend."
"Ha ha ha ha ha"
After Discord stops laughing he snaps his fingers, causing you to fall outta the air as his barbershop costume poofs away. Discord begins to chuckle, before he stops when he sees your eyes. He looks at you in confusion and says,
"That's strange... I don't remember giving you glowing eyes... oh well!"
He gives an indifferent shrug and says in a deep voice which you swear you've heard somewhere before,
You just glare angrily as you charge Discord and...
When Bugze uses Falcon Punch, Discord blasts him with chocolate milk from a fire hose, extinguishing the attack.
You call out,
"FALCON PUN-*splash*"
Your orange flame is extinguished by Discord spraying you with chocolate milk from a fire house while wearing a firepony's uniform. Discord chuckles and says,
"Why don't you just cool off. Heh heh. By the way, got milk? Hahahaha-"
Bugzy tries to uppercut into Discord, but he replaces himself with a cloud of cotton candy. While Bugzy is stuck, Discord mentions that he looks a bit "Under the weather" at which Bugzy gets drenched in grape soda from the cloud and frozen solid.
"SHORYUKEN!"
You come at Discord with a rising uppercut,
*snap*
But he replaces himself with a cloud of cotton candy which you get stuck in. He then says,
"Hey H.O., I don't know if you've noticed but you look a little..."
The cotton candy cloud starts drenching you with grape soda as Discord continues,
"Under the weather. Hahahaha. I slay me..."
When Bugze tries a No-Shadow Kick, Discord holds a giant magnifying glass to the sun, striking Bugze with a bolt of hot sunlight and proving once and for all that the kick has a shadow
Ugh, so many dumb puns... I know! I'll just attack while he's busy laughing! you think before you take a big bite out of the cloud, leap at Discord, and call out,
"NO SHADOW KICK!"
But before the first kick even connects with Discord, he suddenly holds up a giant magnifying glass which flash-fries you with a bolt of hot sunlight. You somehow stay stuck in midair for a few more moments before letting out a puff of smoke from your mouth before falling to the ground in a comically smoking heat as Discord (who's now made himself into two Discords with one wearing glasses while the other wears a beret) comments,
"So what are your conclusions on the myth that the 'No Shadow Kick' literally has no shadow?"
"Well Discord 2, I say we can most definitely consider that myth, BUSTED."
When Bugze tries a Psycho Crusher, Discord blocks it with a giant chocolate banana pie, and Bugze comments about how he's never going to get the stains out of his cloak.
Okay... The classics clearly aren't working so let's try a new one.
You kick yourself back up and call out,
"PSYCHO CRUSHER!"
And send yourself spinning like a bullet towards Discord,
*snap SPLAT*
But you splat right into a giant chocolate banana cream pie that Discord teleported in front of him with a snap. You stumble out of the giant pastry and mutter,
"Aw Luna, I'm never gonna get these stains out of my awesome coat..."
Suddenly, Discord starts walking up to you while shaking his head saying,
"H.O.. H.O., H.O... surely you can do better than that-"
Since Discord sounds like character from Star Trot and obviously your cool moves aren't working, why not use campy moves?
"The Human Bowling Ball": Roll into Discord's legs which surprisingly catches Discord off guard and knocks him down, but instead of being upset he just gets happier as he says, "Still got some fight in you. Good, in all honesty this was starting to get boring."
However, rather than being upset at this, Discord states,
"Still got some tricks up your hood? Good, in all honesty this was starting to get borin-"
"Wall of Destruction": Try to follow up the "Buggy bowling ball" by jumping off a wall to leg-drop Discord while he's on the ground talking, but he counters with a trampoline knocking you into the wall.
You try to catch Discord in mid-speech as you jump off a nearby wall in an attempt to leg-drop Discord, but he snaps his fingers and turns into a trampoline while causes you to bounce off him and slam face-first into a table.
"SHORYUKEN!" Discord dodges your uppercut. Again. "No no no, H.O. That's the wrong move! I know I've been gone, but how does no one remember the combination?" "Shut up and let me hit you already!" He scoffs. "I will as soon as you get this move right. Now remember this time: crouch, crouch-forward, forward, and punch. Simple!" "How in the name of Luna am I supposed to crouch forward?" "You don't. It's all in the timing." Discord barely moves, but thrusts both of his arms forward. "HADOUKEN!" The blue fireball launched from his hands slams into you and sends you flying. A rope wraps around you and stops you cold. Discord drags you back with a cry of, "Get over here!" "That's the wrong series!" "Of course it is!" He throws you up in the air and teleports above you. "I'm Discord!" He transforms into a hundred ton weight and drops on top of you, sending you both plummeting down. You crash and get buried deep into the ground. "You're eating too much cake with Celestia, H.O. How did you get all the way down here? I'm as light as a feather!" You groan and look at your chest. The massive weight has been replaced with a Lego brick. Those mares better hurry up...
You rush back at Discord and call out,
"SHORYUKEN!"
But Discord dodges your uppercut. Again.
"No no no, H.O." Discord says, "That's still the wrong move! I know I've been gone for a millennium, but how come nopony remember the combination?"
"Shut up and let me hit you already!" You snap.
He scoffs, "I will as soon as you get this move right. Now remember this time: crouch, crouch-forward, forward, and punch. Simple!"
"How in the name of Luna am I supposed to crouch forward?"
"You don't. It's all in the timing."
Discord barely moves, but thrusts both of his arms forward and calls out,
"HADOUKEN!"
The blue fireball launched from his hands slams into you and sends you flying. You feel a rope wrap around you and stop your flight cold as Discord yanks you back with a cry of,
"That's the wrong series!" you complain as he catches you by the throat.
"Of course it is!"
He hurls you up in the air and teleports above you.
"I'm Discord!"
He transforms into a hundred-ton weight and drops on top of you, sending you both plummeting down. You crash into the ground and get buried deep into the ground.
"You're eating too much cake with Celestia, H.O. How did you get all the way down here? I'm as light as a feather!"
You groan and look at your chest to see that the massive weight has been replaced with a Lego brick. As you struggle to get out of the ground, you can't help but think,
Luna dang it! Where are those mares with those element-y thingys?!
As you think this, you hear Discord say,
"Oh Offender is that the best you got? Is that all you're gonna do for your daughter?"
Your eyes shoot up in anger as you yell in the RCV...
The nightmare cloak with one tail comes out (seeing as you have the ability to form extra tails, you decide to call this "Phase 2" with "Phase 1" being the glowing orange eyes).
"THAT'S IT!"
And with that you blast the Lego brick off of you in a wave of energy causing a bunch of smoke to build up. Discord looks at the smoke with a magnifying glass and says,
"Oh H.O... where are you? I have a nice cha-*SMACK*!
Discord's sentence is cut short when a midnight-colored tail smacks him into a wall. Discord shakes his head as he literally peals himself off the wall before he looks over to see that you're covered in the Nightmare Cloak, one fox tail coming back to sway behind you. Discord's eye widen in surprise before he smiles and says,
"Well now... looks like Hoody got an upgrade."
"Heh heh, that's right Discord, this is just happens when you make me... upset. Seeing how I can do this for awhile, I think I'll call this... Phase 2."
"Let me guess, Phase 1 is the whole 'glowing eyes of doom' thing?"
"Yup."
Discord smirks and gives you the "Bring it on" gesture with his claw as he says.
"Alright buddy, hit me with your best shot!"
"If you insist... uh, whats that phrase again... oh yeah... OFFENDER SMASH!"
With that you charge at Discord...
Use the staff against him, but not only does Discord literally surf the shockwave, he starts using your staff as a toothpick.
Deciding to use some actual tactics this time, you teleport above and behind Discord as you think of (as calmly as you can under the circumstances) and take the staff out of the Inventory before slamming it end-first into the ground upon landing which unleashes a shockwave upon Discord. To your surprise and horror, you see Discord literally surfing the shockwave while saying,
"Surfs up dudes!"
Discord grabs an assist trophy from your favorite fighting Neightendo game, Super Smash Mares Brawl. A Knuckle Joe jumps out and starts to attack Bugze with his Vulcan Jabs attack. Discord uses other assist trophies to attack Bugze for him. Bugze finally gets to a trophy only for it to be Tingle and he trows banana peels out. Discord is floating so it does not affect him...but it does affect Bugze, as he slips around on banana peels.
Interestingly, throughout the whole battle Discord doesn't seem that cruel or even trying that hard. If anything, he's constantly treating you like a buddy throughout the battle saying things like:
When Discord is done surfing, he suddenly grabs a floating trophy and throws it down to cause a Knuckle Joe to appear. The creature jumps towards you with a flurry of Vulcan Jabs that you barely dodge before you manage to grab it with your tail and spin it around you before throwing it at Discord who just nonchalantly leans to the side to dodge it as Knuckle Joe crashes into a large vase behind Discord causing it to dissappear and another trophy to appear. Seizing this opportunity, you teleport over, grab the trophy, and throw it down...
Only for Tingle to appear and start throwing banana peels everywhere.
Since Discord is now floating it doesn't affect him... but it does affect you as it causes you to start slipping and falling all over the battlefield. Discord then starts laughing and says,
"I haven't had this much fun in ages! Sure, I was imprisoned in stone for ages, but still!"
After the fight drags out: With a large amount of his arsenal rendered useless by the laws of chaos, Bugzy tries to use the environment to his advantage, leading to him swinging a giant candycane at Discord while yelling "There can be only ONE!" Discord meets him in the clash wielding a giant lollypop. Bugzy glares at discord across their sugary weapons when Discord looks up and says "Oh look, a distraction." "Hah, you think you can fool me with my own- Gurk!" Bugzy mocks before an anvil etched with the word DISTRACTION falls on his head.
Tingle then disappears, but you're more concerned about thinking of a more effective strategy,
My own skills aren't working... Time to take a page out of the book of the Buffalo and use the environment!
You lash out with your nightmare tail and grab a giant candy-cane before launching yourself at Discord with a yell,
"There can be only ONE!"
You swing the giant candy cane down at Discord who blocks the blow with a giant lollipop. You both stand there glaring at each other across your sugary weapons, both pushing against each other in an attempt to break the stalemate when Discord suddenly looks up and says,
"Oh look, a distraction."
You scoff and mock,
"Hah, you think you can fool me with my own-*KONK*!"
Suddenly, an anvil etched with the word "DISTRACTION" konks onto your head.
Discord laughs at your cartoonishly smashed head and says,
"Ahhhahah, Oh H.O you should see your face. It looks so... pancakey! Ahahahah!"
You grumble in anger as your orange eye glow intensifies. You shove the anvil off your head and yell...
Use Fus Ro Dah and it apparently works as it sends Discord blasting off Team Rocket-style, but suddenly you hear a voice next to you ask, "Hey, do you want to hear the most annoying sound in the world?". Before you could respond, Discord sends you flying down the street with an irritating high-pitched screech-yell that knocks you into the dancing buffalo like a bowling ball as Discord proclaims, "Sttttrike!"
"FUS RO DAH!!!"
The attack actually seems to work as the roar of power sends Discord flying off into the air in a twinkle. You sigh in relief before you hear a voice next to you say,
Before you could politely decline, Discord lets out an irritating screeching yell that has enough force to send you flying down the street before you crash into the dancing buffalo ballerinas like a bowling ball crashing into bowling pins.
"Sttttttrike!" Discord happily proclaims. "Now for the lightning round!"
Discord then starts rapidly snapping his fingers to start sending objects flying at you like lighting bolts, hadokens, cupcakes, and even a kitchen sink. Fortunately, you're able to almost effortlessly dodge all these projectiles.
Well, at least he doesn't, seem to be a good fighter.... You think to yourself, as you easily dodge his attacks, you wonder why the god of chaos was hardly trying to- wait is that another him dual wielding video game controllers?! He wasent actually fighting you ! "hey! Get overhear and fight you, um, coward!" You yell in anger. The god of chaos wassent even phased and talked to you in a calm tone "oh well if you insist..." The discord you where fighting suddenly deflated as the discord with the controler was.... Typing in cheat codes? "lets see.... Up,up,down,down,left,right,left,right...... And.... B, A" His controller the turned into a giant sword with buttons on the handle, while his other turned into a giant shield, or rather a giant mirror shaped like a shield. You would normally yell something along the lines of 'thats cheating' but your dark woes conditioned mind was currently telling you "roll darnit roll!" As discord relentlessly swung at you, your surprisingly well timed rolls the only thing keeping you alive. You hoped the girls would get here before he starts useing his mag- to late, he's already hurling chocolate coated fire balloons at you now. At the end of discords 50 piece attack combo, You charge up your horn and fire a blast of magic at him but it hits his giant mirror and bounces of harmlessly, actually now that you think about it you feel like you've done this before. Discord seemingly recovered from his exhaustion held his controller-sword thing in the air an pressed some of the buttons on the hilt seemingly entering yet another cheat code, as suddenly the pink clouds around him gathered around the sword and turned into soap of some kind, coating the sword with its wonderful cleanliness. He then slammed the sword into the ground, createing a trail of soap that curved to follow you, thankfully you dodge that easily and and avoid the attack. "ok ive definitely seen this before, exept with lightning." You try to take a step foward only to slip and fall, the reason of which could probably be explained by the mysterious soap suds on the ground.
Well, at least he doesn't seem to be that good at offense...
You think to yourself as you easily dodge his attacks.
You'd think a god of chaos would be alot harder to beat than- wait a minute...
Out of the corner of your eye, you spot another Discord dual wielding video game controllers!
What the?! He wasn't even actually fighting me!
"Hey! Get over here and fight me for real you lazy coward!" You yell in anger.
Discord wasn't even phased and says to you in a calm tone,
"Oh well, if you insist..."
The discord you where fighting suddenly deflated as the discord with the controller was... Typing in cheat codes?
His controller then turned into a giant sword with buttons on the handle, while the other turned into a giant shield, or rather a giant mirror shaped like a shield. You would normally yell something along the lines of "Oi, that's cheating!", but you're kinda busy trying to dodge Discord's attacks as he relentlessly swung at you, your surprisingly well-timed rolls being the only thing keeping you alive.
I hope the girls would get here before he starts using his magi- oh buck...
Discord suddenly starts hurling chocolate-coated fire balloons at you now. At the end of Discord's 50 piece attack combo you charge up your horn and fire a stun spell at him, but he brings up his giant mirror shield and the spell bounces off harmlessly and hits an earth pony with a light brown coat and a darker brown mane. Discord then holds his controller-sword thing in the air and presses some of the buttons on the hilt, seemingly entering yet another cheat code. Suddenly the pink clouds around him gathered around the sword and turned into soap, coating the sword with its wonderful cleanliness. He then slammed the sword into the ground, creating a trail of soap that curved to follow you, thankfully you dodge that easily and and avoid the attack. You try to take a step forward only to slip and fall on the soap suds on the ground.
Discord (his sword and shield suddenly disappeared) starts skating around on the soap suds and says,
"Weeeeeee! I don't ever want this fight to end!"
You growl in anger as you get up and glare daggers at Discord, a second tail beginning to form. Discord takes notice of this and asks (while continuing to figure-skate on the suds),
"Are you growing a second tail? You really are chaotic aren't ya?"
He was about to laugh, when...
"Hehehehe..." Your head is down as you laugh creepily. Discord stops his skating and gives you a confused look and asks,
"H.O., you okay buddy? Your laughing is all creepy-like."
Instead of answering, you throw your head up into the air as you let out an insane laugh that's all too familiar to you...
You then stop laughing and stare at Discord with a insane look and say,
"Ohhhhhh Discord, come out and play... WITH YOUR LIVER AHAHAHHA!"
And with that you charge at the stunned Discord...
Bugzy tries to Psycho Crusher, but Discord spawns a brick wall full of dynamite in his way.
"PSYCHO CRUSHER!"
You send yourself spinning at Discord who then makes a wall of bricks appear with a snap.
Heh, it'll take more than a wall of bricks to stop-*KA-BOOM*
It turns out the "bricks" were dynamite as the explosion sends you smashing into a ruined building making it collapse onto you.
"Oh, such grace H.O. and what a landing, I give it 6.6 tacos out of pi!"
You lash out with your tail and grab Discord by the arm, but before you can pull, he says, "GET OVER HERE!" and yanks you towards him, causing you to splat face-first into a carrot cake he's holding out before Discord comments, "Ain't I a stinker?"
A nightmare tail lashes out of the rubble and wraps around Discord's arm, but he grabs your tail and yells, "GET OVER HERE!" as he yanks you out of the rubble with a mighty tug and splats you head-on with a carrot cake before snickering,
"Ain't I a stinker? Oh, and this may be the cake calling the pie fattening, but isn't doing the exact same thing and expecting different results the definition of insanity?"
Rapid-fire stun spells at Discord who suddenly snaps on a trenchcoat and some sunglasses before leaning back and dodging them all in slow-motion. He then says "Ooo, Ooo, My turn!" he then transforms into a big laser cannon and yells "I'MA FIRIN MAH LAZAR!"
With a snap, he transforms into a big laser cannon and yells,
"I'MA FIRIN MAH LAZAR!", before sending a giant beam of energy at you. You barely manage to dodge out of the way of the beam before it obliterates a cabbage cart behind you (causing the owner to scream "MY CABBAGES!").
Throw down a stink/smoke bomb to distract Discord while you teleport behind him and hit him with No Shadow Kick. It works at first, but before you can deliver the final knock-back kick, Discord hits you with a Captain Kirk-style double-fist to the side and proclaims, "C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!"
The blow sends you into another wall, but you smash the structure with your nightmare tails and prepare to charge at Discord again when,
*snaps fingers*
You suddenly can't move! You glare insanely at Discord as he says,
"Well that was bananas of fun... but I think we should make this even more interesting and I know just the trick." With that he snap's his fingers and...
Discord tries to make Nightshade join his side Discord: Hello there little one, what's your name? Nightshade: Nightshade You: Don't you talk to her! Discord: (snaps his fingers and you lose your voice and can't move) Grownups or talking NightShade: Daddy? Discord: Aww Aren't you Adorable, you know you remind me of a certain moony princess that went nuts and tried to kill her own sister. Nightshade: (Recoils) I don't like you very much Discord: You sure about that? (Snaps fingers and cookies and other treats appear causing Night Shade's eyes to dilate and widen) How about you join me in chaos? We've Got Cookies! She jumps out and starts munching on all the treats faster than even Discord can believe till she sits holding her swollen belly and relaxes Discord: My My My,, what an appetite. (He places a hand on her head) you can have all these and more if you just go rebellious teenager on your dad over there (she starts to turn gray) You are furious, but still can't move, but luckily the DFV helps DFV: GET THAT THING AWAY FROM OUR DAUGHTER!!!! Her added anger causes the tails to appear and they slingshot you at Discord in a high speed Psycho Crusher Before you hit you Briefly think aloud: WAIT! OUR Daughter?
Nightshade pops out of The Inventory in front of you. Before she can even turn around and see your unstable form, Discord snaps his fingers and makes Nightshade's head snap towards him. He then puts on a smile and says,
"Hello there little one. My apologies about the mask. I'm Discord by the way. What's your name?"
Nightshade looks at him slightly scared before she answers,
"I'm N-N-Nightshade."
Discord then coos and pinches Nightshade's cheek while saying,
"Awww, Aren't you Adorable, you know you remind me of a certain loony princess that went nuts and tried to kill her own sister."
You would have wondered what that could have implied, but you're too busy thinking of ways to mangle Discord for touching your daughter.
Make him pay...
Not now you psycho...
You think back to the DFV. You then see Nightshade eating cookies at super sonic speeds. Apparently while you were thinking, you missed Discord give them to her. But what he says and does next makes your blood boil...
"My My My...what an appetite..."
He offers a cherpumple to her in one hand while he gently places the other one her head,
"You can have all these and more if you just go rebellious teenager on your old dad over there for your new daddy, Discord. What d'ya say?"
Nightshade starts to turn gray as she munches on the cake. You're enraged at this, but you still can't move. Suddenly the DFV Screams within your mind,
GET THAT THING AWAY FROM OUR DAUGHTER!!!
Her added anger along long with yours causes you to let out a horrible piercing scream along while the 3rd tail forms. Discord grabs his ears, wincing in audio pain which stops Nightshade's discording and allows/causes her to flee. While all of this is going on, you can only think,
WAIT! OUR Daughter?
Enter Phase 3...
Soon your scream ends and this starts to play in the background as you glare at Discord with pure hatred, your three tails swishing viciously behind you as you say in a distorted, cold-hearted, legion-like voice that sounds like a mix of your voice and the DVF...
No more games, no more fancy moves, NO MORE YELLING OUT YOUR ATTACKS! JUST KILL HIM, AND SCREW THE ELEMENTS' PLAN!
You and Discord collide together head-on resulting in a shockwave that knocks you both back. You flip and land on your hooves while Discord just floats back while saying,
"Ouch, that actually hurt, H.O are you trying to hurt me?!"
You just growl in anger as your three tails swish behind you in anger, your now sharpened fangs sticking out of your mouth as you think,
That's it! No more games, no more fancy moves, AND NO MORE YELLING OUT MY ATTACKS! I'M GONNA END HIM RIGHT HERE AND NOW! THE MARES' PLAN CAN ROT IN TARTARUS FOR ALL I CARE!
With that angry thought in mind, your horns sprout outta your head as you continue to growl in anger. Discord just huffs and says,
You throw a punch. "The circus is leaving town!" Discord swings a crowbar. "Still one more show!" You collide in a spectacular explosion that knocks you both back. Discord grins. "Hoo HOO! I like this side of you!" "You shouldn't." Your three tails wrap around his arms and one of his legs, and you slam him to the ground. "This form let me beat Celestia!" You slam him again. "What chance do you have?" "I beat Celestia too, you know." He chuckles. "You missed one, H.O." Discord kicks out his goat leg and it detaches, flying into your face. It knocks you back and then pummels you to the ground. You bring back your tails to shield yourself. Discord teleports over and puts his leg back on. "It's safe to say I have a leg up on the situation." You groan. "That was horrible, even for you." You fool! What happend to your scary voice?! You're holding back! I won't let you win! WHAT?! You nearly killed my friends at the Gala! I won't let that happen again! I can control you! But you can't control HIM! Discord waves. "Hellooooo? I swear, I'm standing right here, and you don't even notice. Maybe this will get your attention!" He snaps his fingers. "What... what did you--" A chocolate fountain erupts under you, blowing you sky-high. Can we please get serious now?
You and Discord charge straight at each other again. You throw a punch and proclaim in a distorted, cold-hearted, legion-like voice that sounds like a mix of your voice and the DVF,
You reply as your three tails lash out and wrap around his arms and one of his legs before slamming him into the ground.
"This form let me beat Celestia!" *WHAM*
You slam him again.
"What chance do you have?"
"I beat Celestia too, you know." He chuckles, "By the way, you missed a spot..."
Discord kicks out his goat leg which detaches and flies straight into your face, knocking you onto your back. Before you can get back up, the leg starts stomping on your face repeatedly before you knock it away with one of your tails. Discord teleports over and catches the leg before screwing it back on and commenting,
"It's safe to say I have a leg up on the situation."
You groan and say in your normal voice,
"That was horrible, even for you."
You fool! What happened to our synchronized voice?! You're holding back!
I'm not letting you out!
WHAT?!
You nearly killed my friends at the Gala! There's no way I'm letting that happen again. I can control you!
But you can't control HIM!
While this internal argument is going on, Discord gets right in front of you, waves a claw in your face, and says,
"Hellooooo? Anypony home? I swear, I'm standing right here, and you don't even notice! Maybe this will get your attention!"
He snaps his fingers causing a chocolate fountain to erupt under you, blowing you into a taco cart which explodes and sends tacos flying in every direction. Discord nonchalantly catches one and throws it into his mouth before saying (with his mouth full),
*crunch*"Con we pwease get sewious mow?"*gulp*
You growl in anger as you shake sour cream and brown tofu off you and you hear the DFV say in your mind,
See! You can't do this on your own, you can't beat him! You need your only friend just to even think about beating this babbling fool!
You snort in anger and think back to her,
Shut up! I don't need you to fight this lunatic!
With that you proceeded to...
Use Meteor Impact, but Discord transforms into Babe Ruth and literally knocks you around the world before catching you in an oversized catcher's mitt. He then transforms into Dan Marino and proclaims, "TOUCHDOWN!" and spikes you into the ground like a football.
Raise your tails into the air and slam them into the ground with earth-shaking force launching you high into the air. When you reach the height of your ascent, you cast a midnight-colored forcefield around yourself and fall back down to Earth towards Discord calling out,
"It's the middle of the 10th and The Spirit of Swat is up to chicken. H.O. makes the pitch, The Discordino swings and..."
*CRACK*
Discord's rubber chicken sends you flying away at high speed. You swore you were going around the world when suddenly you feel yourself slam into a leathery surface. After shaking your head, you noticed that you're in a giant catcher's mitt before Discord changes into a hoofball uniform and helmet and says (still in the announcer voice),
"And Big Papa Discord does it again!"
With a cry of "TOUCHDOWN!", Discord spikes you head-first into the ground. You growl in anger as you get up from the you-sized crater as, unnoticed by you, a fourth fox tail begins to grow and your Nightmare Cloak becomes even more unstable! Discord doesn't seem to notice as well as he starts to do an obnoxious hoofball victory dance... With a beach ball. You let out a roar of anger as you...
Your Kung Fu and Video Game Moves don't work. It's time to unleash the Nightmare Power within you. Let your Anger fuel your strength. The DFV seems to be your second set of eyes as your tails counter off any surprise attacks that he throws after teleporting without you even knowing about them. Discord then starts punching at you incredible fast while saying "ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA!!!!" over and over again. And you can must rapidly block. He also gives his own FUS RO DAH and knocks you off your feet You: THAT'S MY MOVE!!! Discord: I didn't see your name on it!
Right before Discord and Bugze reach each other, one of his fox tails pulls out a stink bomb and detonates it in Discord's face. As Discord reels back, Bugze punches Discord in the jaw causing it to spin around his head a few times until Discord catches it and puts it back in place. Discord responds "Well, that was naughty." Bugze runs around firing stun spells that hit Discord causing to take a step back with each hit until he has enough and yells "ENOUGH!!" I am a GOD! I will not be bullied by a pathe-" Bugze's tails grab Discord's and starts slamming back and forth into the ground like Hulk from the Avengers.
Charge at Discord, but he then stops his dance and starts punching at you incredible fast while saying, "ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA!!!" over and over again. Fortunately, the DFV seems to be your second set of eyes as your tails move on their own initiative and manage to block every single one of Discord's punch flurry. Seeing that his machine gun-punching isn't working, he teleports behind you,
FUS RO DAH!
And sends you smashing through an upside down house. You quickly get back up and shake off the rubble as you yell,
"HEY! THAT'S MY MOVE!!!"
Discord responds. "I didn't see your name on it-! *shatter*"
While Discord was taunting you, one of your tails pulled out one of your stink/smoke bombs and threw it at Discord's feet. As Discord reels back in surprise you suddenly fly out of the smoke and punch him in the jaw, causing his head to spin until Discord catches it and responds,
"Well, that was naugh-*zap*"
Discord reels back as a stun spell zaps him in the face followed by another and another and another...
While Discord's head was spinning, you charged up your horn and started to rapid-fire stun spells at the chaos spirit, forcing him to take a step back with every hit.
MEANWHILE IN A BUSH NEARBY
"Come on Offender! Show that mixed up freak who's boss!" Lyra (who's shouting behind a nearby bush) screams while a worried looking Bon Bon tries to pull her to safety.
"Come on Lyra we need to get outta here, it's not safe!"
Lyra sends Bon Bon a backwards glance before saying,
"And miss out on the Hooded Offender fighting the embodiment of chaos? No way Bonny!"
Bon Bon stops trying to pull her back as she too gets absorbed in the fight.
BACK AT THE FIGHT
Eventually, Discord has enough of it and yells,
"ENOUGH!" causing a brick wall to appear in front of him and block your spells as he continues,
"I am a GOD you amateur! And I will not be teased by-ack!"
Your tails suddenly lash around the wall and grab Discord before pulling him through the wall so he's in front of you and then you proceed to start smashing him on the ground around youbefore throwing him into a cabbage cart ("MY BACKUP CABBAGES!" somepony yells). After throwing Discord away, you finally notice your new fourth tail,
"Huh. That's new- *splat*"
Suddenly a bunch of watermelons rain on you as Discord says,
"Oh my me, it's raining watermallons!"
You knock the watermelons away from you with your tails and growl in anger at Discord's joke. You're about to attack him again when the DFV screams,
THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD IT WITH THIS FOOL! I'M TAKING OVER!
You feel your control of your body slipping as you struggle and think,
No! I won't... let.., you... take...control...
It's too late as you hear the DFV say with your mouth...
Discord stops laughing and looks confused at what 'you' said, but then he just shrugs before continuing to laugh. As soon as she takes control, a fifth fox tail begins to grow. Now that you're not in control of your own body, you notice this and think
That... that can't be good...
Finished with that thought, all you can do is helplessly watch as the DFV...
Finally you have enough. Your tails unleash a dark mist that completely encompasses you and Discord for a brief moment, to which he can't even escape. Discord: What in the world is this? You: Welcome to my Nightmare (you say in your evil legion voice) Silent Hill level horrors come out of the wood work and start attacking Discord, he still has his base powers but can't teleport out so he attacks back You: Inside this room, all of my dreams become realities, and some of my realities become dreams (yes, you somehow made that sound scary) Discord: Oh lord, is that how I sound to others? While he's overwhelmed wrap a tail around his throat You: COME HERE! Use this time wisely and unleash an ULTRA COMBO onto all parts of his body, especially onto his family jewels He doubles over in pain as the mist dissipates and his voice is a few octaves too high. Discord: Why! You: Hey, you hurt my children, I hurt yours, potential or otherwise. You then proceed to keep fighting eachother to a stalemate.
Unleashes a dark mist that completely encompasses you and Discord who asks,
"What in the name of chaos is this?"
"Welcome to My Domain..."
Horrors then start popping out of the woodwork and start attacking Discord. While he can't teleport out, he still has his basic abilities so he fights back and effortlessly destroys the horrors coming at him as DFV says,
"Inside this room, all of my dreams become realities, and all of my realities become dreams."
"Oh lord, is that how I sound to others, and who are you? You sound nothing like H.O. Did he switch out on our fight-woah!"
Suddenly a group of monstrosities pop out of the ground around Discord and pounce on him. While he's temporarily overwhelmed, DFV lashes out and wraps a tail around his throat.
"COME HERE PEASANT!" she yells as she yanks Discord towards him before proclaiming,
"Psycho Break Crusher!"
"This again? Maybe third times the-*WHAM*"
The DFV leaps forward and spin-smashes into Discord's family jewels as the momentum of the attack carries both DFV and Discord out of the mist and through several buildings (also, you suddenly can't hear anything). Discord doubles over in pain on the ground as the mist dissipates he painfully says (his voice a few octaves too high),
"Why?!"
"You foolishly tried to hurt my friend and our daughter. So it's only fair if I, oh I don't know, ruin any chances of you having them "
Discord struggles to get back up as he says,
"Now I know you ain't H.O, you sound way too much like Lulu."
"I AM NOTHING LIKE THAT WEAK EXCUSES FOR A MOON EMBODIMENT, I AM A TRUE NIGHTMARE! A TRUE TERROR OF THE NIGHT, WHILE SHE WAS JUST A WEAK-HEARTED FOOL! SHE DOESN'T DESERVE THE TITLE NIGHTM-"
The DFV suddenly stops talking as she realized she let something slip, but it's too late as Discord looks confused before he smiles and says,
"Ahhhh, I see. H.O why didn't you tell me you had such a nightmarish skullmate who is way too dark for my tastes."
He suddenly has some goth clothing on when he says this. DFV then charges at Discord proclaiming,
"SILENCE FOOL! I AM A TRUE GODDESS AND THOU ART BUT-"
When the DFV takes control, Discord's attitude changes from "trolling buddy" to "disappointed seriousness" and proceeds to nonchalantly smack away DFV's attacks (not even bothering with warping reality for DFV) while saying how much Nightmare Moon sucks as a villain, "Boo hoo! Everypony likes my sister's gas more than my space pebble. I know, I'll go cover Equestria in eternal cold and darkness so everypony will starve and freeze to death. Sweet chaos, I was never that petty..." Discord then boredly asks, "You're boring. Can H.O. come out and play now?" But the DFV responds, "NEVER! I'M IN CONTROL NOW AND YOU'LL NEVER SEE YOUR TOY AGAIN!" This causes Discord to get angry and say. "Give. Him. BACK!" And proceeds to start devastating DFV.
*SMACK*
Discord nonchalantly slaps DFV away with the back of his hand, sending her into a billboard as he begins to taunt,
"Boo hoo! Everypony likes my sister's gas more than my pebble."
DFV gives an enraged scream and charges at Discord again, but once again Discord nonchalantly backhands her away with his other hand sending her crashing into a big slot machine that hits jackpot and starts to shower anvils onto her.
"I know, I'll go cover Equestria in eternal cold and darkness so everypony will starve and freeze to death."
DFV furiously screams, "SILENCE!" and launches herself at Discord's back with her tails, but he slaps her away with his tail sending her smashing through several buildings while continuing to taunt (not even breaking stride),
"Sweet chaos, I was never that petty..."
DFV prepares to charge Discord again, but she realizes she can't move and looks down to see her hooves stuck in quicksand. Discord then pops up in front of her, arms crossed, and says,
"You're boring. Can H.O. come out and play now?"
But the DFV responds in defiance,
"NEVER! I'M IN CONTROL NOW AND YOU'LL NEVER SEE YOUR 'BUDDY' AGAIN! BESIDES, THE ONLY 'BUDDY' HE'LL EVER HAVE IS ME!"
DFV lashes out with her five tails and grabs a floating upside down house before smashing it onto Discord and saying,
"IF I CAN'T BREAK YOU. I'LL JUST BREAK YOUR TOYS!!!"
NO! you mentally scream as the mares scream and DFV smashes the boulders together.
*CRACK*
Suddenly Discord appears in front of the mares with a seriously angry look on his face, having held both of his arms out and reduced both boulders to pebbles when they impacted with his claws. With a snap of his fingers, he teleports the mares safely onto a cotton candy cloud before proceeding to grab DFV tightly by the throat and say in a deadly serious tone,
"No one messes with my toys but ME!!!"
Discord then lifts DFV by the throat and violently chokeslams her into the ground before proceeding to wail on her face while screaming,
You couldn't hear what Discord said because you still can't hear for some reason, but all you know now is that the DFV is getting dominated by Discord, so you decide to get some well deserved teasing in...
Having fun yet? Shut up! We're not supposed to win this! We're just buying time! For whatever reason, he likes me. I'm stepping in again. No! You're weak! You're pathetic! And you're insane! I hate you so much! Awww, I thought I was your friend? Excuse me, do you two need a moment to kiss and make up? What? Who dares?! Hm. Who do you know that can bend reality to his will? You zoned out on me again, and I just thought I would listen in. I do offer relationship counseling on Thursdays if you two are interested. Lover's quarrels are my specialty! You cur! Your soul shall burn for that! Wow. Is that how Rainbow Dash and Applejack feel when I talk about them? I'm a jerk, huh?
Having fun yet?
Not now!
We're not even supposed to win this genius! We're just buying time! Now, he likes me for some reason so I think it'd be best if I step in-
No! You're weak! You're pathetic!
And you're crazy!
I hate you so much!
Awww, I thought I was your friend?
Excuse me, do you two need a moment to kiss and make up? Discord's voice suddenly chimes in.
What?
Who dares?!
Who else do you know that can bend reality to his will? Discord's voice chimes in again. You zoned out on me again and I just thought I would listen in. I do offer relationship counseling on Thursdays if you two are interested. Lover's quarrels are my specialty!
You cur! Your soul shall burn for that!
Wow. Is that how Rainbow Dash and Applejack feel when I talk about them? I'm a jerk, huh?
"Eyup." Discord says as he picks up DFV by the throat and throws her into a wall, knocking it over. He then says,
"Alright. Now give my buddy his body back,"
Suddenly a pair of nasty-looking knives appears in his hands as he continues in a now deadly serious tone,
"Or I'm going to get upset..."
You heard him. Can I have my body back now?
You hear the DFV growl in anger before mentally saying,
Fine! But I'll always be with you, so don't even think you can stop me from having you as my eternal friend...
As you feel your body coming back to you, you roll your eyes and think,
Whatever you say fruitcake, now if you need me, I have another lunatic to-Urk!
You stop your comeback as you feel intense pain all over your body. You collapse onto the ground in pain as the Nightmare Cloak begins to evaporate. You can't help but say in a pained voice,
"What... the..."
You hear Discord laugh as he says,
"Looks like I've finally tired you out H.O."
He pops up in front of you and begins to reach out and say,
"Now it's about time I make you my apprentice in the ways of chaos..."
Too weak to even stand, you close your eyes and think in hopeful desperation,
Come on mares hurry up and get here! I'm sorry I said your plan could rot in Tartarus! And lady luck, if you can hear me. Please, please, PLEASE let Nightshade be free from my accursed bad luck if this is my last moment of sanity...
Before Discord could touch your head, you hear your saving grace...
Nightshade ran off when the three tails came out, right? She returns leading the Mane 6 with the Elements.
"DADDY!"
"HOODY!!"
Discord looks over and his eyes widen as you pop open your eyes and look over painfully to see Nightshade running towards you with the mares in tow behind her, both Nightshade and Fluttershy giving you worried looks and you can barley see the hint of worry in Twilight's eyes.
The mares stop a few yards in front of Discord and Twilight declares,
"All right, ladies, let's show him what friendship can do!"
You smirk victoriously as you see the mares charging up a powerful attack, when...
When the Mane 6 Return with the Elements of Harmony, you and Discord have kind of been neck and neck the whole time, which means both of you are breathing heavily. The girls start to charge up In a last ditch effort he teleports Night Shade Back into his arms before they fire. Night Shade: DADDY!!! You: NO!!! Discord: Drop the Elements Girls. If I get stoned, so does the little brat! Twilight: Put her down Discord! Discord: I don't think so, you see I'd rather not be turned into a statue again, and your elements can't distinguish between different evils YOU: SHE'S NOT EVIL!!! Discord: Oh please, what could be more Evil than the unholy spawn of a Changeling and the Darker Half of Luna's soul? DFV: KILL HIM!!!! You: Please! Girls! Don't Fire! The Mane 6 Power Down as they can't bring themselves to hurt a filly Discord Begins to laugh in triumph, until Night Shade brings out your can of WD-40 and sprays it in Discord's eye Discord: OW OW OW OW OW!!!! He drops Night Shade and she runs to your arms. You: That's my girl (you smile at her) The girls recharge and shot their Friendship Rainbow death weapon at Discord Discord: Oh you little...Uh-Oh! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!! (Stoned)
You hear a snap of fingers and Nightshade screaming.
"DADDY!!!"
You look up in horror and see Nightshade struggling in Discord's arms.
"Drop the Elements Girls. If I get stoned, so does the ravenous brat!"
"Put her down Discord!" Twilight demands.
"I don't think so, you see I'd rather not be taking another millennium-long rock nap, and your elements can't distinguish between different evils-"
"SHE'S NOT EVIL!!!" you scream, still too weak to even get up.
"Oh please, what could be more evil than the unholy spawn of a Changeling and the Darker Half-?"
"LET ME GO!"
KILL HIM!!!
"Girls! Don't Fire! Please!" You scream.
The Mane 6 reluctantly power down as they can't bring themselves to hurt a filly.
Discord begins to laugh in triumph, but Nightshade suddenly whips out one of your cans of WD-40 and sprays it in Discord's eyes.
"MY EYES!!! THEY BURN!!!"
He grabs his eyes in pain which causes him to drop Nightshade and she runs to you before saying,
"If it doesn't move and it should: WD-40."
"That's my girl." You say with a smile.
Discord rubs his eyes in pain before he snaps a fire extinguisher into existence and sprays Earl Grey tea directly into his face. He then snaps the extinguisher and tea away before saying,
"Oh you little... Uh-Oh..."
While Discord was distracted, the girls recharged their Friendship Rainbow death thingy and fired it at Discord.
"NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" He screams, but just before the rainbow beam hits him, you hear his voice in your head say,
Fine! If can't be your friend then nopony will! Prepare to be the most hated pony in Equestria once again! Ooooohh trust me, when I come back you'll be begging to be my comrade-in-chaos for sure! Mwahahahaha!
You barely see him get off one last snap of his fingers before he gets turned to... stone! Ignoring what he said for now, you think in fear,
Yikes... Am I glad they never thought of using that on-wait... that could've been me back at the Gala!
Fluttershy and Nightshade help you to your hooves. You smile and begin to celebrate the victory with them over Discord when Twilight says,
"All right girls, one down. One to go."
She and the rest of the deadly five then turn towards you. You don't notice this as you victoriously declared,
"Yeah baby! We-wait-"
Suddenly realizing what they said you, Nightshade, and Fluttershy turn to the mares and yell,
"WHAT?!"
MEANWHILE IN A NEARBY BUSH
"Bon Bon, we gotta do something!" Lyra says as Bon Bon grabs Lyra's tail with her teeth before responding,
"No Lyra! It's too dangerous now more then ever!"
Lyra glares at Bon Bon and says,
"And let the Offender get turned to stone like that mixed up freak? No way! If you won't help me then fine, but I can't stand here and let a hero get turned into a lawn ornament!"
And with that Lyra breaks free of Bon Bon and runs off. Bon Bon looks around nervously before saying,
"Oooo, I know I'm gonna regret this..."
And with that she runs off as well.
WE NOW RETURN YOU TO YOUR SCHEDULED CHAPTER
You stammer in fear as you say,
"C-Come on ladies! Don't you remember me saving you at the gala or helping you against Discord?"
Applejack gives you a hard glare as she says,
"That ain't how we remember it. Varmint."
The rest of the Deadly Five nod their heads in agreement. You remember what Discord said to you in your mind a few moments ago, and you can't help but scream out in anger the name a different entity for once...
You immediately start coughing blood from screaming, you think you might have broken....well, everything. You stare in horror as the five mares slowly approach you. You attempt to stand up only to immediately collapse to the ground.
"-COOOOOR-*COUGH HACK COUGH*"
Your screaming ends when you start to cough up blood (green, slimy, changeling blood, but blood none the less) and collapse. Fluttershy puts her hooves on you supportably as Nightshade hugs you with worry ("Daddy..."). You finally stop coughing a few seconds later and you can't help but think painfully,
It feels like I broke every bone in my body... and all my muscles... and my splee- Owwwwwww.
You stop your pained thoughts as you notice the Deadly Five coming your way. You stare in horror as they start to get closer and closer with evil (well... evil to you at least) intents. You think in horror,
Oh no... Gotta run!
With that thought in mind you try to get up to make a run for it, but as soon as you try you scream out in pain and collapse again. You cough up some more blood as you see the Deadly Five getting even closer. All you can do is close your eyes and wait for the in-
Fluttershy and Nightshade try and fail to talk the other five down. F: But girls, we just saw him help us defeat Discord! T: It's just his changeling mind control magic Fluttershy, he was helping Discord, look at all the destruction they caused together! N: My Daddy just helped you! AJ: Get out of the way little filly, you're just confused You: OH COME ON! T: Fluttershy, the Elements won't work without you, so please... F: NO! I WON'T HELP YOU HURT HOODY! RD: She's under his spell, we gotta take him down fast (starts pounding her hooves together)
Well it seems we're back to square one with these crazy mares. Your first instinct would be to run like mad. But it seems as though all you legs are broken right now (did I mention ouch!?). At least Fluttershy seems to be on your side still. You try to snap them out of it, or at least stall for time. "Wait please! I'm sorry! I did some nasty stuff to you in the past, but I made up for it, remember?" You yell out through bouts of coughing up blood "What about when I saved you all from the dragon? At the Gala! I nearly died holding off a god of chaos so you could deal the finishing blow! Don't you remember any of it? What did Discord do to you just now?!"
You open your eyes in surprise and look up painfully from your collapsed position to see both Fluttershy and Nightshade in front of you with their hooves spread apart, shielding you from the Deadly Five. You can't see that well from your collapsed position, but judging from the Deadly Five's faces, Fluttershy must be giving them "The Stare". Fluttershy says in a angry tone,
"Girls! What is the matter with you?! We just saw him help us defeat Discord!"
Twilight just gives Fluttershy a weird look before saying,
"It's just his changeling mind control magic Fluttershy, he was helping Discord! Look at all the destruction they caused together!"
You somehow managed to snort in disbelief before coughing up more blood. Fluttershy notices this and says,
"Can't you see the poor things hurt and needs help?!"
"That's his own fault for deciding to turn on Discord."
Turning on Discord? What does she mean by-*COUGH*
Nightshade looks at you worriedly as you cough up more blood before looking back at the mares and saying,
"My Daddy just helped you! He was like Darth Invader at the end of Star Wars!"
Your vision started to go fuzzy after your last coughing fit, but you hear a loud groan after Nightshade made that reference. You give a pained smirk as you think,
That's my girl...
You then hear Applejack say,
"Get out of the way little critter, you're just confused. That ain't yo daddy, that's a no good varmint!"
You would have growled in anger or gave a snarky remark if it weren't for the fact that you couldn't feel your jaw. You hear Twilight say,
"Fluttershy, the Elements won't work without you, so please-"
"NO! I WON'T HELP YOU HURT HOODY!"
You can barely hear what Rainbow said next, but you have a pretty good idea considering she just pounded her hooves together. You're pretty sure that your hearing is going and that you're about to lose consciousness when...
The DFV tries to give as much magical power as possible to get your body to move, but it BURNED!
DFV offers to take over, but you firmly reject her offer after her behavior in the battle with Discord.
You hear the one voice you really don't want to hear right now,
Let me take over. You're hurt and weak. All it would take is a quick whip of my tails and-
No! You're not taking over again! You almost killed innocent ponies several times now. You're staying in my head and you're never coming out! I've rather be turned to stone then let you take over.
There's a moment of silence before the DFV says,
Fine... but since your gonna be my eternal friend, I'm healing you whether you desire it or not! And you're about to see why "not"...
What do you-"AHHHHHHHHH!"
Suddenly a burning pain shoots through your body as if your body is being melted in lave after being set on fire. After a few moments of Tartarus you begin to notice your sight, hearing, and touch returning. Apparently you were screaming bloody murder the whole time as you see Fluttershy and Nightshade holding you in worry and shouting words of concern ("DADDY!", "Hang on Hoody! I'm right here!") while the Deadly Five are just giving disturbed looks. After what seems like ages, the burning pain finally subsides. You breath heavily from the pain as you slowly start to get up with Nightshade and Fluttershy's help. When you finally get up, you lean on Fluttershy for support as you think,
Okay... Can see and hear again. Can feel my jaw so that's good. Can barely stand... I can work with that.
After your done thinking that you say,
"First of all, I would like to say I have a new found respect for anyling who has melted or been killed by fire or lava in movies, especially the T1000 from Termarenator. Secondly.."
You give a cold glare to the Deadly Five before saying,
"You mares just got on my traitor list, and that is a list you don't want to be on. Cause trust me... there's nothing I hate more than ungrateful, backstabbing, traitors."
It's true, ever since the whole Trixie incident, you've had a HUGE loathing for traitors ever since.
The Deadly Five seem taken back from your statement, before Twilight says,
"How did we betray you? You've never done anything to gain our trust, much less make us team up with you."
Your eye twitches in annoyance as you say,
"Didn't do anything to gain our trust you say? What about when I saved you all from the dragon? Or when I pulled a Golem at the Grand Galloping Gala! Or how about when I nearly died holding off a god of chaos so you could deal the finishing blow. What about when you'd given up on everyone, Twilight?! Despite everything you ever did to me, I helped you recover! I helped you save your friends from Discord's magic! Don't you remember any of it?"
The Deadly Five all give you strange looks before Twilight says,
"None of that ever happened."
You feel your jaw hit the ground as you stare at her in shock before you yell,
"WHAT!"
Twilight nods her head angry before she says...
They proceed to dismiss everything you tell them about you helping them, their minds firmly locked on taking you out.
The mares say what the new memory is in a series of accusations which include: -Restructured memories of the Grand Galloping Gala rampage which include: ---Emasculating Prince Blueblood ---Only 1 tail coming out ---Being driven off by Celestia and the Mares ---Twilight saving everyone from the collapsing Gala -Stealing 40 more cakes -Releasing Discord and teaming up with him -Attacking the mares at the library in an attempt to keep them from the elements -Almost crushing Daisy, Rose, and Lily (the trio of Earth Ponies with the flower Cutie Marks)
"Yes, none of what you said ever happened. All you did at the Gala was destroy it and ruin any chances of Blueblood walking or having foals (you see Rarity mouth "Thank Celestia" when Twilight said that)."
Rainbow nods her head at what Twilight said as she adds,
"Yeah, you ran away like a little filly after Celestia and the rest of us fought your one-tailed flank off and Twilight had to teleport everypony out before the Gala roof collapsed from when you mind-controlled Trixie into doing more damage and it was your mind-control that tore us apart in the first place! You blinded us and made us only see the worst aspects of each other!"!"
Applejack adds,
"Then y'all released Discord, teamed up with him, attacked us so that we couldn't get the elements, and almost crushed Daisy, Rose, and Lily when you turned on him!"
She points over to three knocked out mares that the DFV almost crushed with those boulders. Pinkie then suddenly starts jumping up and down with smoke coming out of her ears as she screams,
"AND YOU STOLE 40 MORE CAKES, AND THAT'S JUST SUPER DUPER TERRIBLE!"
The mares then nod their head at the same time at Pinkie's statement and you can't help but think in anger,
If Discord ever gets released again... *snap* then he'd better watch his back...
After that angry thought you all here a distant voice call out,
"HALT!"
Then you all notice a green figure running towards you. When that figure gets close you realize that's it's...
Just then Lyra and Bon Bon show up, the latter being dragged by the former's tail. "Neither will we!" Lyra puts on a black hoodie and pulls the hood up over her face "The hood always got our back, and now we got the hood's!"
Lyra! And she's dragging Bon Bon with her! When she gets in front of you she pulls out a cloak, puts it on (so does Bon Bon), throws the hood up, and declares,
"The hood always got our back, and now we got the hood's!"
And with that she sucks up a huge amount of air and screams...
"HORDE ASSEMBLE!"
The next thing you know...
With that you hear a war cry. FOR THE HORDE!!!! A group of more than fifty ponies rush in front of you and Night Shade, all of them dressed as the Hooded Offender. One of them begins to speak. Horde Member: You dare threaten the Hooded Offender? He who helped you win and save our lives this day? The greatest hero Equestria has ever known? Twilight: You remember it wrong, he helped Discord! A thin little cloaked figure, slightly hovering off the ground pulls out a camera and says "I actually have evidence to the contrary!" Horde Member: Correct! The wool has been pulled over your eyes, blinding you from the truth Element Bearers Horde Member: Leave him be you misguided fools You: OK, i appreciate you all helping me and everything, but can we stop the Holier than Though way of speaking? Horde Member (Lyra) we thought it would sound cool and professional You: It just sounds pompous to me Horde Member (Lyra): Alright fine, leave the Hooded Offender alone you jerks, or we'll make you sorry The HORDE: YEAH!!! The Deadly five are all very unnerved by this
You hear a war cry,
"FOR THE HORDE!"
Suddenly, a group of at least twenty ponies (you can't really tell exactly) rush in front of you and Nightshade. All of them are wearing replica Hooded Offender cloaks, ranging from small to large ponies. One of them hooves a cloak to Fluttershy, who nods her head in thanks before she puts the cloak on (somehow doing so while still supporting your wobbly form). As she pulls up her hood, you hear one of the Horde (who sounds a awful lot like Berry) say
"You dare threaten the Hooded Offender? *hic* He who helped you win and save our lives this day? *hic* The greatest hero Equestria has ever known?"
Twilight (and the rest of the mares) are taken aback from the sudden appearance of the Horde, but she snaps out of it and says,
"You remember it wrong, he helped Discord!"
One of the horde members says,
"The wool has been pulled over your eyes, blinding you from the truth, Elements!"
"Can't you ponies see that this ruffian is using his mind control abilities on you?!" Rarity says.
Another Horde member speaks up,
"Cease your unjust harassment of him you misguided fools!"
Deciding that you've had enough of this fancy talk, you say.
"OK, I appreciate you all helping me and everything, but can we stop with the "Holier than Thou" way of speaking?"
One of the Horde members (who you think is Lyra since she's standing where you last saw her) says,
"But we thought it would sound all cool and professional."
You shake your head and say,
"Nah it just sounds as pompous as Tacky McStabby Flank over there."
"Why I never..." Rarity protests as some of the Horde chuckle at the nickname you gave her.
The Horde member who you think is Lyra sighs before she turns back towards the mares and says,
"Alright fine... Leave the Hooded Offender alone you jerks, or we'll make you sorry. Horde! What is our vow?!"
All the Horde suddenly chant,
"The blackest night falls from the skies, The darkness grows, as all light dies, And heal the deepest wounds of hate, Let no one else decide your fate, Let those who fear where we once stood, Beware the power... of our hood!"
The Deadly Five all look unnerved by this (besides Pinkie who you swear is whispering "Hooded party" over and over again) s you think,
They even have a kickflank creed?! So... Awesome...(Rainbow Dash sneezes and mutters, "Somepony's stealing one of my lines!")
When it looks like the situation is going to escalate into a full-on melee, you hear...
"Run for it hero. We got this!" one of your fans yells as Twilight and her friends start trying to shave their way through the crowd to get to you. You feel Nightshade dragging your battered form to safety as your mob of fans yell out in your honor "WE ARE THE DISTRACTION! WE ARE HIS MEAT-SHIELD! THERE ARE MANY OF US AND WE ARE HIS! YOU! SHALL NOT! PASS!
Escape to the TARDIS with the help of the Horde (who Twilight assumes are all under mind control)
Fluttershy whispers to you: Hoody, when the distraction happens, hold onto my hoof and don't let go. You nod as your cloak returns and you put Night Shade in the Satchel. Fluttershy then shouts: NOW!!!
As you are thinking if they could get pity of you, you listen a strange sound and watch a strange blue box that appear from nowhere and The Doctor exit from here and offer you a hoof "Take my hoof if you want to survive!"
The most beautiful sound in Equestria. You (and everyling else in the area) look over to see the TARDIS phasing into existence. When it finally lands, the door opens and you see the Doctor who waves his hoof at you and says,
One of the Horde, (you think it's Fluttershy) whispers to you,
"Hoody, when the distraction happens, hold onto my hoof and don't let go."
You nod your head as you guide Nightshade into The Inventory. Then Fluttershy gives a high pitched series of whistles. Suddenly you feel her start to drag you towards the TARDIS as the Horde charges the Deadly Five while shouting,
"WE ARE THE DISTRACTION! WE ARE HIS MEAT-SHIELD! THERE ARE MANY OF US AND WE ARE HIS! YOU! SHALL NOT! PASS!"
You feel tears of stallion pride fall down your face as you think,
Oh... so much pride. I really hope none of them get sent to the dungeon after this... also I hope none of them start a wa-I should probably start running now.
When you and Fluttershy reach the TARDIS doors, you look back and see the melee of the Deadly Five trying to get past the small crowd Horde members. Most notable is seeing two fillies in a small black hoods (who you assume to be Berry Punch's daughter she mentioned and introduced you to and Sweetie Belle) grabbing onto Pinkie's head and you also hear Twilight call out,
"Don't hurt them girls! They're innocent ponies caught in the Offender's mind control!"
"Again with that mind control nonsense..." you mutter in annoyance before you notice Derpy (also wearing a hooded coat) and Fluttershy trying to get your attention. As Derpy pulls you into the TARDIS, Fluttershy whispers to you,
"Good luck Hoody."
And with that the TARDIS doors close and the TARDIS disappears...
ON THE TARDIS FIVE MINUTES (OR POSSIBLY CENTURIES (IT IS A TIME MACHINE AFTER ALL)) LATER
You escape the bedlam of Ponyville into the (hopeful) safety of the TARDIS. Derpy and The Doctor are glad to see you safe, but you just collapse on the spot, panting for breath. You take off your cloak and send Nightshade to her room to rest before you talk with the other two. "Doc... we... are... so... done! I think you owe me for all that." "What?" He looks genuinely confused. "What are you talking about? My boy, you missed our meeting." "You told me to go to that hallway! With the glass! Then Discord showed up, did... uh, he did Discord stuff, and I helped stop him for you. Debt paid." Derpy blinks. "Bugze, Discord wasn't the threat." "...Pardon?" The Doctor chuckles. "Rest assured, the universe is in great peril and we certainly intend on using you to save it--" "USING me?!" "--but that Dicord chap threw off the flow of time with all his shenanigans. The terrible, horrible, disaster has only been postponed." You hold your head and cry. "I just stood toe-to-toe with a god of chaos! What else do I have to do?" Derpy glares at you. "You still have your time-out mister!" "That's not what I meant! How am I supposed to stop a disaster that threatens the entire universe?" The Doctor hands you a banana. "You'll need this." You slowly reach out and take it. "Brilliant, Doc. When the disaster comes, I'll just throw a banana at it." "What? No! How in the name of the space-time continuum are you going to stop a disaster with a banana? That's for the little one. We saw how she eats when she was here. When was the last time she had any potassium?" You stick the banana into the inventory. "Okay, I'm sure she'll like it. But you still haven't answered my question. How am I supposed to stop this disaster?" The Doctor hands you a boomerang. "With this." As soon as you touch it, You hold it over your head, and it somehow floats on its own. When the inexplicable anti-gravitational anamoly ends, you are left with a familiar question. "What do I do? How do I even use this thing?" Derpy laughs. "Does anypony know how to use them? Just practice really hard." "Quite right," The Doctor says. "And I'm afraid this is your stop. We'll be in touch." The door opens, and The Doctor shoves you out to encounter the next worst moment of your life.
You have finally regained your full strength after being in the TARDIS for a few minutes (or years... or centuries... it's the TARDIS, give it a break). So, you decide to confront the Doctor on your debt to him.
"Doc... we are so done! I think you owe me for all that!"
"What?"
He looks genuinely confused.
"What are you talking about? My boy, you missed our meeting."
"You told me to go to that hallway! With the glass! Then Discord showed up, did... uh, he did Discord stuff, and I helped stop him for you. Debt paid."
Derpy (who has already put away her hooded coat) blinks before saying, "Bugze, Discord wasn't the threat."
You look at her blankly and when your mind finishes rebooting you say,
"...Pardon?"
The Doctor chuckles.
"Rest assured, the universe is in great peril and we certainly intend on using you to save it-"
"USING me?!"
"--but that Dicord chap threw off the flow of time with all his shenanigans. The terrible, horrible, disaster has only been postponed."
You hold your head in frustration and cry.
"I just stood toe-to-toe with a god of motherbucking chaos! What else do I have to bucking do?!"
Derpy glares at you.
"Watch your language! You still have your time-out mister!"
"That's not what I meant! How am I supposed to stop a disaster that threatens the entire universe?"
The Doctor hands you a banana.
"You'll need this."
You slowly reach out and take it before snarking,
"Brilliant, Doc! When the disaster comes, I'll just throw the banana and hope he slips on it!"
"What? No! How in the name of the space-time continuum are you going to stop a disaster with a banana? That's for the little one. We saw how she eats when she was last here (took me 4 centuries to replenish my Jelly Baby supply). When was the last time she had any potassium?"
You stick the banana into the inventory and say,
"Okay, I'm sure she'll like it. But you still haven't answered my question. How am I supposed to stop this disaster?"
When the inexplicable anti-gravitational anomaly ends, you are left with a familiar question.
"What do I do? Why do I even need this? Why do you even have this?"
Derpy laughs,
"It's a plushie to cuddle with silly"
The Doctor nods his head and says,
"Oh and Bugze, to pay off your debt to me, it's quite simple really. You are to stay in Ponyville for the next year and are to report to me any unusual things or events with this."
He hooves you a TARDIS blue notebook and pen.
"Now before you ask, this is an inter-dimensional notebook and pen, it will allow you to send me a message onto my psychic paper."
You nod your head dumbly as you put the items into The Inventory.
Acquired "Banana", "Luna Plushie", "TARDIS-blue Pen", and "Inter-Dimensional Notebook"
"Here, since I know your disguise spell is terrible, this will help you hide out in Ponyville. Now put them on lad!"
You nod your head as you change out of you awesome black hooded coat and into the clothes. The Doctor looks you up and down and says,
"Dashing Bugze, you look swell now. Oh, and you'll also need this,"
He then hands you a Doctor's Note (which says that you have a "condition" that requires your hooves and lower face to be covered) before he pushes you in front of the TARDIS doors as he says,
"And I'm afraid this is your stop. We'll be in touch."
The door opens, and The Doctor shoves you out of the TARDIS and into...
Cheerlilee is a bit confused by your get up, but she is not rude she says hi back and even apologizes even though you were the one who bumped into her. You have a new get up, so you need a new identity to go along with it, you think El Hunko has been compromised. You're dressed in a bunch of the Doctor's old clothes so use your knowledge of the TV show to make a composite name. Something like: Tennant Baker Smith.
The two of you stared at each other blankly as the sound of the Tardis blinking out of view occupied the awkward silence, with her eyes seemingly questioning the odd pupils of yours. You really don't want to blow your cover already. Quick! Speak about something! "so, I, Uhm," you cleared your throat. "Did you happen to see a blue box appear and disappear?" She nodded. "Okay. I would really appreciate it if you just pretend you didn't." "Alright?"
The two of you stare at each other awkwardly as you hear the TARDIS blink out of time. As you continue to stare at each other you can't help but think
What is with me and long awkward stares with random ponies? I swear this is like the three-hundreth time this has happen to me. That's it, from now on if I ever get into a long awkward stare I'm just gonna slap myself to stop it. Speaking of which...
Taking your plan to heart, you hold up your hoof and...
*SLAP*
Slap yourself across the face causing the mare in front of you to jumps back in shock. You laugh nervously before you say,
"Heheheh sorry about that, there was just a... bug on my face! Yeah... just a bug!"
The irony of this does not escape me... You think to yourself in a deadpan tone.
The mare continues to stare at you weirdly so you decide to continue to speak,
"So... um... did you happen to see a blue box appear and disappear?"
The mare nods her head slowly at your question. You begin to panic at the thought of her telling ponies that you came out of the same box that the Hooded Offender escaped in. So, you decide to make her not tell anyling,
"Okay. I would really appreciate it if you just pretend you didn't. Because let's just say that you'll make alot of ponies very happy with murderous intent, and you'll make me a very sad pony. So I'm begging you... Don't. Tell. Anypony!"
The mare looks at you questionably, but she thankfully just nods her head and says,
"All... right?"
It sounded more like a question to you, but you'll take it. You nod you head thankfully and say,
"Thanks! That means alot... um... did I ever catch your name?"
The mare shakes her head and blushes in embarrassment before saying,
"Oh, where are my manners, even if what you just asked me to do is very... weird. That's no excuse to be rude. My name is Cherilee, and you are..."
You're about to tell her your name, when you remember that you're wearing a new outfit. You also remember/realize that the "El Hunko" name and suit are for fancy high-class events and Bugze would just be a dead giveaway, you decide to go with the first thing that pops in your head...
Good name idea, but since Bugze is wearing the pants of the sixth (Colin Baker), the hat of the seventh (Sylvester McCoy) and the coat of the 10th (David Tennant) then his name should be something like Baker Sylvester Tennant. Que Cheerliee pointing out his name is B.S. Tennant (BullSPIT hive minders, gotta keep it PG after all)
"My name is Baker... Sylvester... Tennant. Yeah! The name's Baker Sylvester Tennant, but my friends call me B.S.T." you say with a nervous smile.
Cherilee gives you an awkwardly nervous look as she asks
"You... do know your initials are B.S. Tennant right?"
Your smile falters slightly at what she's implying but you quickly recover and say,
"Yes yes and it's haunted me my entire life, so um...."
You realize that you have no idea as to what to say next, so you use one of the oldest questions in the universe...
"Um, nice weather today, eh?" Honestly, your afraid the response, because such a topic would be taboo back in the hive where the only weather is the buzzing busyness of the work drones. "Why, yes! It's the perfect weather to spend a good Saturday in. The pegasi had done a good job." And apparently it's different for a society that uses weather as an industry.
"Um, nice weather today, eh? Hehehe..."
You're honestly afraid the response because since the only weather back at the Hive is the buzzing busyness of the work drones, asking that question usually got you a sarcastic laugh followed by a slap to the head. Fortunately, Cherilee gives you a kind smile before saying,
"Why, yes! It's the perfect weather to spend a good Saturday in. Rainbow Dash has done a particularly lovely job today."
You nod your head in agreement,
"Ah yes, the fillyfo-I mean sweet mare who's totally not a demon with severe anger issues has done a great jo-"
You interrupt yourself when you realize something about what she said.
Wait... Saturday? Didn't I fight Discord on a Thursday? Where-When did the Doctor drop me off?
With that thought in mind you ask Cherilee...
Since you were just in the TARDIS and there doesn't appear to be any residual destruction around you ask her what day it is, or how long it's been since Discord's imprisonment.
"So, you know when the whole world turned upside down...? Uh... when did that happen?"
Cherilee gives you a strange look before asking,
"Where have you been the last few days? Discord was defeated two days ago."
You laugh nervously and say,
"You could say I was in a blue box for a couple of day-"
You clamp your hooves over your mouth when you realize you accidentally reminded her about the TARDIS. You then think,
What I wouldn't give for a distraction right now...
Just then, Nightshade appear from your inventory "Daddy, are you okay?" Asked Nightshade "Daddy? So you are a dad and she is your fully?" Asked Cherilee "More or less" Say Bugzee "You make house-schooling? because that can't be... She need to stay with other fillies, not inside of from somewhere she got out... Don't want to offend you little one" Say Cherilee "No offense taken... But that is my house" Say Nightshade "Like I said... Maybe could be good if she meet other fillies and colts"
Just then, Nightshade appeared from your inventory.
"Daddy, are you okay?" Asked Nightshade
After getting over the initial shock of seeing a filly pop out of a saddlebag, Cherilee asks,
"Daddy? So you're a father and she's your daughter?"
"More or less" You respond.
"How is she 'more or less' your daughter?"
"It's... complicated."
"Hmmmm... does she go to school?"
"Ah, no. I home-school her."
"Home-school? Oh dear... Well, since you're both new in town you really should sign her up for the Ponyville Schoolhouse. I'm the teacher there and your daughter really needs to play outside with other fillies, not inside of a bag... No offense dear."
"No offense taken... But that's my room." Nightshade replies.
"Like I said... It would be good for her to socialize with more fillies and colts her own age."
Deciding that you need to end this discussion before you can think about Nightshade interacting with... colts (*growl*) you tell Nightshade,
"Sweetie why don't you go back to your room and study for that animal quiz?"
"But Daddy... you said we would watch Neighpon Gore Police when you were done talking with the Doctor."
"You let your daughter watch those kind of movies!" Cherilee asks in horror before you chuckle nervously and respond,
"Eheheheheh...What she meant to say was that she was gonna watch an... educational film when we got back... right."
Nightshade either misses or ignores the stern emphasis on the last word as she says,
"No, I said we were gonna watch Neigh-"
"Nightshade, honey, I'll give ya three chimichanga's if you just go back into your room okay."
Nightshade says in Neighponeses with (literal) stars in her eyes,
"Chimichanga! Anata no saikō no papa! Watashi wa jibun no heya ni modotte ikimasu." (translation: Chimichanga! Your the best Daddy! I'll go back to my room.)
With that, she hops back into the Inventory.
"My, she speaks such fluent Neighponese! And at such a young age!"
"Heh yeah, we watch alot of anime." You say with some fatherly pride.
After discussing for a few more minutes, you bid Cheerilee good-bye and you part ways. You decided that since you're gonna be stuck in Ponyville for a year, you should stock up on some supplies. As you're walking towards where you think the market is, you start to think...
After your meeting with Cheerlie, figure out what you're going to do regarding food, income,
So, I'm gonna be living in Ponyville for awhile... joy. This is gonna be about as fun as having to pry Grandbuggy off that giant chocolate cookie back at zebra country.
That was defiantly a weird day... well weird day back then at least. You and Grandbuggy (in case you were wondering, his rank prior to being exiled was "Specialist") were assigned a mission to steal some love from a out of town zebra tribe called the Pelegostos Tribe. When you and Grandbuggy got there, you found out that the zebras were worshiping a cookie as their all divine god. Sadly for them, your Grandbuggy has a huge sweet tooth (where do you think you got it from?). Before you could blink, your Grandbuggy had eaten half the stinking thing. It took a pair of pliers, WD-40, butter, and some liberal application of fire to finally get him to stop eating the thing... right when the zebras came back from their group potion-making. They then thought your Grandbuggy was their god in pony form and tried to eat him! Long story short (and alot of explosions later), you and Grandbuggy are forbidden from ever going back to the Isla de Pelegostos.
Ahhh good times... At least back when the only ones trying to kill me were strangers I'd never have to see again-*bump*
Your snapped out of memory lane when you realize that you've bumped into a fruit vendor at the market. You then begin to buy emergency foods you learned about from the Buffalo Tribe. After you finish stuffing all the food away into The Inventory,
"10 Packages of Whole-Wheat Crackers" "5 Jars of Peanut Butter" "5 Boxes of Multigrain Cereal" "20 Granola Bars" "2 Cans of Powdered Milk" "16 Small Bags of Dried Fruit" added to The Inventory."
45 Bits Left
You sat down and began to read today's paper that you also bought, unsurprisingly it's about the "Elements of Harmony" being honored by Solar-flank for defeating Discord, but what you find is surprising...
You also see a news headline in the paper about The Horde and the mysterious growth of it in several cities across Equestria. You smile at that.
Next, look for a newspaper to find out what happened to your fanclub. Fortunately it said that most of the Horde scattered and escaped after your getaway and the few Horde members caught were pardoned as "being under mind control and not of their free will". You also find out that due to Discord's new memories, the Horde is alot smaller, but it's growing due to the fact that somepony manage to take pictures of your fight with Discord and fortunately all those pictures are of you landing hits on Discord thus starting the rumor that the Hooded Offender fought the God of Chaos to a draw.
You sigh in relief when you read that the Horde members that helped you escape two days ago escaped as well from the Deadly 5. Even the ones who were captured were pardoned as "being under mind control and not of their free will." But what's really surprising is that even though your overall fan club is smaller, it has been gaining in numbers lately. According to the newspaper, photos were leaked showing you fighting Discord (the picture in the paper was you tackling Discord through a house while in the Nightmare Cloak). Apparently ponies either say that the photos were fabricated or that it's evidence that you fought Discord to a draw. But, what's really surprising is that alot of mares have joined the Horde. They claimed that they're your "waifus" and that they want to... um let's just say some of what they said shouldn't be read by foals... You blush a very deep red as you think,
While it may seem awesome that I have fanfillies... I also have to deal with the fact that I have fanfillies... Dear Luna, I swear half of what they said shouldn't be possible...
You quickly stuff the newspaper away into The Inventory (you don't want to litter after all) before taking out a granola bar ("19 Granola Bars" left). As you munch on the bar you sadly think...
You are stuck in Ponyville for a year now, with 5 crazy mares who want to kill you all over again and equally crazy fangirls who want to... let's not get into that. You miss Appleloosa already. You do have the plushie, and now would be a good time to just hold it close and cry for awhile. But you're in public, and that raises a very good question. Where the buck are you going to stay for a whole year? Would the fangirls help you without knowing you're the Offender? Probably not. You did stay at the apple orchard that one night... Apple Bloom could cover for you... but you can't stay outside for a whole- DING!
Let's see... I'm HUGELY in debt with a Time Lord, I'm stuck in Ponyville for a year, I have 5 crazy mares who want to kill me all over again thanks to Discord's stupid mind bending trick, and now I have equally crazy fanmares who want to *gulp*... let's not get into that. (You shudder as you remember the Justin Beatbox incident) I miss Appleloosa already... I do have that plushie though, and now would probably be a good time to just hold it close and cry for awhile...
You're about to take out your plushie to do just that when you remember that you're in public, so you quickly snap out of it, but now all you have is one question on your mind:
Where the buck am I going to stay for a whole year? Would the fanmares help me without knowing I'm the Offender? Probably not and asking them as the Hooded Offender would probably be a death wish. I did stay at the apple orchard that one night... Apple Bloom (you cringe guiltily at her name) could cover for me... but she hates me. Maybe I could just sneak into the fields, but I NEED shelter as I can't just stay outside for a whole-*ding*!
Isn't Apple Bloom friends with Sweetie Belle? And the third one in the forest... Scootaloo? Don't they have a clubhouse? Maybe you could borrow that until you find a more permanent solution.
"I got it!" You say to yourself in a excited tone. "Applebloom is friends with Sweetie Belle right? And the third one in the forest... Scootaloo if I remember correctly? Didn't Applebloom mention that they have a clubhouse? Maybe I could borrow that until I find a more permanent solution. Yeah that'll work!"
You throw your hoof into the air in excitement as you run off into a random direction as several ponies (who saw you talking to yourself) mutter "Weirdo...".
20 MINUTES LATER
Twenty minutes later finds yourself lost in Ponyville. You have no idea where to find Applebloom (*cringe*), Sweetie, or Scootaloo. As you look around desperately, all you can think is...
Well it is a Saturday, so what would any normal kid do on a Saturday? You have no clue, all you ever did on Saturdays as a hatchling was secretly play a smuggled in NES that your Grandbuggery gave you. You doubt that Applebloom and the girls are the gamer type. You know for a fact that you can't go around asking for the girls by name since you are supposed to be new in town, and looking the way you do with the mask and asking for little fillies would send the wrong message.
As you walk though town looking for the CMC, you start to pace back and forth while talking to yourself and making hoof gestures,
"Let's see, it's a Saturday, so that rules out the school. But that leaves me wondering where they could be. And I have no clue as to where a normal foal would be on a Saturday. The only thing I ever did I did as a hatchling on a Saturday was secretly play a smuggled NES that my Grandbuggy gave me... stupid Duck Hunter game. I swear if I could I would get that laughing mutt-"
You stop pacing as you put your hoof to your chin and ask,
"Wait, where was I... oh yeah!"
You begin to pace again, this time drawing attention of nearby ponies as they look at you strangely,
"Besides, I doubt the CMC are gamers, Applebloom *cringe* probably works on her species-ist hick of a sister's farm, Sweetie probably helps Tacky McStabby Flank with her 'fashion', and Scootaloo... ah she's probably more into sports or something like that."
Ponies start to look at you really strangely, as you walk up to a random mare and begin to 'talk' to her.
"Of course I can't just go around and ask you townsfolk whre they are. I mean look at me! With the way I'm dressed and with my mask, if I ask where they are it'll send the wrong message and I'll get sent to the dungeon for sure... well at least for a different reason this time... If I'm not lynched by a mob of concerned parents first..."
The mare in front of you gives you a creeped-out look before you speak directly to her,
"Hey, if you were three fillies, where would you go on a Saturday?"
The mare looks like shes about to answer you, when you hear...
"Cutie Mark Crusaders Demolition Experts YAY!" After you hear that, the sound of alarms begin to ring in your head as the image of a big explosion and three fillies in the middle with a detonator connected to some T.N.T come to your head and you run and run, hoping is not too late as you search for them.
The most terrifying sentence in the history of terrifying sentences next to "We're out of cake."
"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS DEMOLITION EXPERTS YAY!"
Your eyes widen in horror as your overactive imaginations kicks in as you see a image of a big explosion and three fillies in the middle with a detonator connected to some T.N.T come to your head. You tell the mare in front of you in horror,
"On second thought, I think I know where they are. Thank you for your time ma'am, here have a Granola Bar."
With that you throw her a Granola Bar (18 left) and tun towards the direction of the shouting, hoping to Luna that they're alright. The mare you hand the bar to says,
"This is going to take forever to floss out, but I'm hungry..."
And starts munching on the granola bar.
10 MINUTES LATER
Once you find the CMC, you explain your situation to them. And remember, the best lies are partial truths. "Hey there you three!" you greet them cheerfully "I'm new in town, I have a medical condition, and I'm forced to live here for the next year by a cosmically powerful being. But I have no place to live. I heard you had a clubhouse and was wondering if you could help me out." you quickly add "And don't tell your sisters or parents!" Then Nightshade pops out of the Inventory. "Daddy I'm hungry! Can I have those chimichangas now?" "I'll feed you later sweetie." you tell her before introducing her to the crusaders "Oh yeah, and this is my daughter Nightshade. She lives in my saddlebags. Can you help us?" You both give your best smiles and try not to come off as awkward or creepy. Despite all the accidental evidence suggesting that you're some kind of deranged psychopath that steals small foals, and that letting you live in their clubhouse would be a terrible idea, the CMC remain oblivious to it all and simply look to each other before shouting "CUTIE-MARK CRUSADERS, VAGRANT SHELTERERS! YAY!"
Thankfully you found the fillies in a field before they can do anything too dangerous, but just barely as you had to tackle Applebloom off a crate of explosives which went off just after you tackled the filly. You and the CMC look at the now blazing crate as Applebloom says,
"Gee, if I had been on that crate any longer... *gulp*"
Your fatherly instincts take over as you assure her,
"Hey there, it's all right. You're okay, nothing bad is gonna happen."
Since you can't hug her, cause you know... she's not your daughter, you go with a pat to the head instead. Applebloom smiles and says,
"Thank ya kindly mister for saving me! I just have to tell ma older sis-"
"NO!"
You interrupt her causing her to look at you stare at you strangely. You rub your hoof behind your head nervously as you say,
"What I mean is... I... that you don't need to tell anypony about what just happened... okay?"
The CMC look at you strangely before slowly nodding their heads. Since you can't help but make sure they don't talk you say,
"Okay... Now anyway, first of all my name is Baker Sylvester Tennant, but my friends call me B.S.T."
"I'm Applebloom."
"I'm Sweetie Belle."
"and I'm Scootaloo."
"And we're THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!!!"
After making sure that your ears still work (Luna, those fillies could give the Royal Canterlot Voice a run for its money), you begin to talk in half-truths as you say in an excited tone,
"So some quick details: I'm new in town, I have a medical condition, and I'm forced to live here for the next year by a cosmically powerful being... don't ask."
You say quickly as you hold up a hoof as it looks like Scootaloo was going to ask a question. You then continue to speak,
"But the problem is that I have no place to live and I heard you three had a clubhouse and was wondering if you could help me out. Oh, and don't tell anypony that I live here!"
"Daddy, I'm hungry! Can I have those chimichangas now?"
You turn your head to your side in shock and see Nightshade out of the Inventory. You can't help but think,
What is with this filly and popping out lately? She would barely pop out even when I was getting pummeled, but now she pops out 24/7!
You notice the CMC looking at her strangely, so you give her a pleading look as you say,
"I'll buy you some chimichangas later sweetie, okay."
"Fine" she pouts. You then remember the CMC are right there and you turn to them and introduce Nightshade,
"Oh yeah, this is my daughter Nightshade. She lives in my saddlebag. Can you help us?"
You both give your best smiles and try not to come off as awkward or creepy (even if your smile is blocked due to your mask). You start to think that they won't accept as they huddle together and talk in whispers. But, despite all the accidental evidence suggesting that you're some kind of deranged psychopath that steals small foals and that letting you live in their clubhouse would be a terrible idea, the CMC remain oblivious to it all and simply look to each other before shouting,
"CUTIE-MARK CRUSADERS, VAGRANT SHELTERERS! YAY!"
You and Nightshade both give huge smiles as you say,
"Thank you so much you three, you don't know how much this means to me. And you... uh... What was it called again... Pinkie Promise not to tell anypony?"
They nod their heads and do the chant and motions again as you smile.
"So can we take you to our clubhouse now?"
"Allons-y!"
The Cutie Mark Crusaders and even Nightshade (you were only able to show her the 1st and 2nd DoctorDoctor Who serials because the only movie theater in Appleloosa only plays old black-and-white and/or silent movies) look at you puzzled before you explain,
"Um... 'Allons-y' means 'Let's go'."
"Ohhhhh..." they all say as they nod their heads in understanding. You get Nightshade to go back in the Inventory, but before you all depart you ask...
Scootaloo reveals that while her #1 idol is still the fillyfooler, you're a close second due to the fact that you saved them and are a "super-awesome rebel outlaw" (but she asks you not to tell anypony (especially not Rainbow Dash) that she's a member of "The Horde", although she did use that melee as an opportunity to grab some of RD's hair for her RD fan hat)
"Soooo... you guys ever heard of the Hooded Offender fellow that everyli- I mean everypony seems to be talking about?"
The girls stop smiling and Applebloom looks down with a conflicted look on her face as Sweetie and Scootaloo put on thinking faces. A few moments later Sweetie and Scootaloo look around suspiciously before Sweetie whispers,
"Hey, B.S.T. can you keep a secret?"
You nod you head vigorously as you think,
Of course I can keep a secret. I'm a changeling for Luna's sake. Of course there was that one time I told the Minotaur's about a upcoming changeling invasion on accident... and then there was that time I accidentally ruined my ex-Queen's surprise party... but that's besides the point!
While you're mentally rambling, Sweetie looks at Scootaloo before saying.
"Well you see... me and Scoot's here are part of the Horde."
You feel like your head's about to explode, but then you remember that Sweetie helped you get into Rarity's place to cure her of her grayness.
"Yeah, I'm his number one fan! Well, actually I'm Rainbow Dash's number one fan and I'm even the chairpony of the 'Official Rainbow Dash Fan Club' and since I can't be a number one fan of two awesome ponies who are mortal enemies so I guess I'm his number two fan. But I did make my own customized Hoody with his symbol on it!"
"Hey, I thought I was his number 1 fan!" Sweetie Belle protests,
"You're only a fan cause your sister hates him!"
"Nuh uh! I'm a fan because he saved me from that Cockatrice!"
"He saved all three of us, remember?"
As the two fillies argue, you look at Scootaloo in confusion as you think,
Symbol... what sym-Oh that symbol.
You then remember the symbol you put on the cloaks of your ex-minions.
I guess that's my official symbol... hmmmmm... Note to self: buy sliver spray paint.
You snap out of your thoughts as you hear Scootaloo say,
"Like I was saying, of course the Hoody's not as big as my wig made out of Rainbow Dash's mane which I manage to pull out when helping the Hooded Offender esc-*hmmph*"
She quickly clamps her hooves over her mouth when she realizes what she's saying, but you heard enough,
A mini-stalker with a wig made outta the.... fillyfooler's... mane... oh I'm gonna be sick...
Your face turns green and you put your hooves over your masked mouth to stop the oncoming vomit. Applebloom notices this and snaps out of her conflicted look and asks,
"Hey, mister why don't I take ya to your new home?"
You nod your head in a sick way as they lead you towards the clubhouse.
20 MINUTES LATER
After the CMC take you to their clubhouse, you let Nightshade play with them (taking Cheerilee's advise about how your daughter needs to play with foals her own age) as you start patching the clubhouse (duct tape some structures, remove rusty/jagged nails and screws with the WD-40 and vise-grip, etc). You're now done patching and you give out a suppressed sigh as you remember the guilt at accidentally hurting Applebloom's sister. Applejack may be a species-ist hick, but the guilt of hurting your friend in someway actually physically hurts. After you calmed down...
Have Nightshade play with the CMC, but make them promise to NEVER tell anypony about her or yourself. They then respond with something called a "Pinkie Promise" which leaves you very confused
Do some investigation to find out the extent of Discord's memory wipe which will require you to seek out old newspapers which you know are usually located at a library. Unfortunately the only library in Ponyville happens to be the residence of one Twilight Sparkle... Joy.
You get an idea.
"I know! I'll go to the library and see if they have any old newspapers I can use to figure out how much Discord affected everyling's memory! Yeah! I'll do tha-wait a minute. The only Library I know of is...Twilight's... Buck..."
You sigh in resignation before you sarcastically say,
"Well, I haven't lived a short enough life so I might as well put it in danger again by going directly into the lair of the zap-happy top minion of the goddess who controls the sun. Nothing can possibly go wrong..."
With that said you climb out of the clubhouse and head towards Ponyville. On your way, you see Nightshade playing tag with the CMC while wearing what looks like a red cape. Deciding to tell her where your going you shout out,
"Nightshade! Honey! Daddy's going to the Library to look for some old newspapers. If I'm not back in an hour, execute Order 66!"
Nightshade stops chasing Applebloom and shouts,
"Okay Daddy!"
"And remember girls, you can't tell anypony that me or Nightshade-!"
"WE KNOW!" The CMC all shout
With that you sigh as you head towards your doom...
ONE UNEVENTFUL WALK LATER
When you get to the library, rather than question your disguise or ask if you look familiar, Twilight just asks you if you "got any problems, troubles, conundrums, or any other sort of issues, major or minor, that I as a good friend could help you solve?" You meekly reply that you just need some old newspapers causing Twilight to panic-berate you over how that's "not good enough for a friendship report" (this leaves you utterly confused) and throw a stack of old newspapers in your face with her magic before trotting off.
You reach the library and are about to knock on the door when it suddenly swings open. Twilight runs right into you and says in a cheerful tone,
"Oh, Hi there! You're just the stallion I need!"
You look at her in disturbed confusion and you swear you see sparkles in her eyes as she leans uncomfortably close to you as she continues,
"You got any problems, troubles, conundrums, or any other sort of issues, major or minor, that I as a good friend could help you solve?"
You nervously reply,
"Uh... I just need some old newspapers-"
"What?! That's it?! That's not good enough for a friendship report!"
"Friendship report? What-*thud*"
Before you can voice your confusion, Twilight suddenly throws a stack of newspapers at your face and says,
"If you have any more questions, ask my assistant Spike. Gotta go."
And with that, she trots off as you start to unbury yourself from the stack of newspapers. Suddenly you notice a purple claw getting newspapers off you.
"Here let me help you up dude"
You take his claw to help yourself up as you say,
"Thanks man, what's up with her?"
"Twilight's just... not in a good mood right now. It happens whenever she starts to panic alot."
"Yikes, remind me never to get her to start panicking... On purpose at least"
You both start to pick up an organize the newspapers (you're looking for newspapers after you first landing in the Everfree forest) as Spike says,
"Hey nice clothes, I really like the hat."
"Thanks they're a gift from the... I mean my, Doctor. Hehe"
Not noticing the nervous chuckle at the end, Spike looks at you confused and asks,
"Your Doctor gave you clothes?"
"Yeah, I have a medical condition that if my skin touches sunlight... well it won't be pretty. Especially the skin on my limbs and lower face. I have the Doctor's note right here."
You show the Note to Spike as you both finish putting the newspapers into The Inventory.
"Well thanks for the help, bye Spike!"
"Bye... uh whats your name?"
"Baker Sylvester Tennant, but my friends call me B.S.T."
"Okay, bye B.S.T."
With that, you decide to head back to the CMC clubhouse as you figure you'll need a more secure location to analyze the newspapers.
ANOTHER UNEVENTFUL WALK LATER
Look over the old newspapers and discover that everything is unaltered until the events at the Grand Galloping Gala where the papers claim you mind-controlled "a blue traveling showpony that couldn't be reached for comment" and only got up to 1 tail with the Nightmare Cloak before being driven off by Princess Celestia and the elements. Then it says you laid low for half a year (with the exception of popping up once in Fillydelphia/Las Pegasus/Vanhoover (author's choice) to pull off a cake heist) before claiming that you released Discord and teamed up with him.
When you get back to the clubhouse (the CMC are now playing "Duck, duck, goose") you take out the newspapers and start your research. Fortunately, you discover from the old newspapers that everything is unaltered until the events at the Grand Galloping Gala. The papers claim you mind-controlled "a blue showpony unicorn that couldn't be reached for comment".
"Oh let me guess... Trixie."
You growl angrily at that traitorous blue mare. You calm down and continue to read the paper. Apparently you only got up to 1 tail with the Nightmare Cloak before being driven off by Princess Celestia and the elements. Then it says you laid low for half a year (with the exception of popping up once in Fillydelphia to pull off a cake heist) before claiming that you released Discord and teamed up with him. You snort in anger and think,
Stupid Discord! I was THIS close to a perfect life and then you had to come along and ruin it! Stupid... Whatever you are.
You sigh before you start to relax...
After getting settled in somewhere, you take out the Doctor's notebook. He told you to report anything unusual to him, but nothing... too unusual has happend so far. Which, considering where you are, would be considered unusual. Right? Maybe you just got lucky today. Maybe Lady Luck decided to let you off with awkwardness and embarassment rather than any real dangerous- BOOM! A rainbow mushroom cloud erupts in the distance, and the shockwave staggers you, even from this far away. "Um, Daddy?" Nightshade says, "shouldn't you go check that out?" You grin and shake your head. "Nope! Nothing unusual there! Just... a weather balloon! A weather balloon hit by a lightning bolt! A multicolored lightning bolt. On a clear day." Nightshade gives you her Really, Daddy? look.
You decide to take out the Doctor's notebook. He told you to report anything unusual to him, but nothing... too unusual has happened so far which, considering where you are, would be considered unusual. Right?
Maybe I just got lucky today. Maybe Lady Luck decided to let me off with awkwardness and embarrassment rather than any real danger-
"Daddy?"
You snap out of your thoughts as you see Nightshade standing there.
"Me, Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo are hungry. Can we have snacks?"
You roll your eyes with a smile as you take out the banana and three packets of dried fruit from The Inventory ("12 Bags of Dried Fruit" and "0 Bananas" remaining)...
BOOM!
A rainbow mushroom cloud erupts in the distance, the shockwave staggering you and Nightshade, even from this far away.
"Um, Daddy? Shouldn't you go check that out?"
You grin and shake your head.
"Nope! Nothing unusual there! Just... a weather balloon! A weather balloon hit by a lightning bolt! A multicolored lightning bolt. On a clear day."
Nightshade gives you her Really, Daddy? look. You sigh in defeat and say,
"Fine! I'll go check it out, but if I get caught and beaten up again then you're grounded."
Nightshade giggles at your threat and says,
"Whatever you say Daddy."
"Oh and If I'm not back in a hour then execute operation 66. You do remember what Order 66 is right?"
"Of course. Order 66, also known as Clone Protocol 66, is the codename for the Emperor's order to kill all of the Jedi. It was secretly programmed into biochips implanted into the brains of the clones to ensure-*giggle*"
Nightshade starts giggling when she sees the expression on your face and continues,
"I'm just bucking with you daddy. Order 66 is to find Fluttershy or Zecora the zebra and stay with them."
"That's my girl... Oh and watch the language around the other fill-"
"YOU MOTHERBUCKING CHEATER!" You hear Sweetie Belle yell. You facehoof and mutter,
"Rarity's gonna kill me... More than usual..."
"See ya Daddy!"
With that, Nightshade goes back to CMC with the snacks. With a sigh you get up, put the Doctor's notebook back into the Inventory, climb out of the clubhouse, and walk towards where you saw the rainbow.
12 MINUTES LATER
You've almost reached where the explosion came from, when you bump into someling. You shake your head and hold your hoof out to the pony and say,
"Sorry about that, are you ok-"
You stop dead in your tracks when you see who it is.
Twilight stinking Sparkle!
You look at her strangely as she now looks kinda of... insane. You mean her mane is completely unkempt, her right eye is twitching like mad, and she just doesn't look..right in the head. Before you know it, Twilight jumps you and holds you down and says insanely,
"Hi there... friend. You must really need my help. I mean look at your eyes and those clothes. Here let me help you fix them..."
You look at Twilight in pure terror and you can't help but think...
Luna... Lady Luck... Solar flank... Batmare... HELP ME!
What do you do?
[FIXED] Episode 14: HOLY MOTHER OF LUNA! THIS TOWN'S GONE NUTS!
Oh Luna... Twilight wants to Ra-, Ra-, Ra- RAVAGE MY NEW CLOTHES!!! Now if she were Sapphire Shores, Spitfire, or Fluttershy then this might be strangely aro- NO! FOCUS BUG!!!
You have experienced many horrors throughout your short life. However, the smile the purple mare is giving you at the moment just takes the top spot for the creepiest things you have ever seen. You didn't even know a face could contort that way! You have to put your fears aside for now and think of a way out of this because you can NOT be seen without your disguise.
As Twilight continues to stare at you insanely, you can't help but think in pure terror,
Oh Luna no...Twilight wants to Ra-, Ra-, Ra- RAVAGE MY NEW CLOTHES!!! Now if she were Sapphire Shores or Spitfire then this might be strangely aro- NO! FOCUS BUG!!! NOW'S NOT THE TIME NOR PLACE TO THINK STUPID THINGS LIKE THAT!
You shake your head from the strange thought as you see Twilight's face is now closer to yours, so much so that you can feel her breath. She gives you a crooked smile as she says,
"Now, dear dear friend, tell me what your deepest darkest problem is, and I will do everything in my power to... solve it."
You start to sweat bullets as you think,
Dear Luna... I have experienced many horrors throughout my short life. I've been beaten within a inch of my life, I've seen my daughter 'die', I ate a ghost pepper on a dare and lived (the toilet however, did not), I've seen my Grandbuggy in the shower once on accident (your eyes burned for weeks). However, the smile that Twilight is giving me at the moment just takes the top spot for the creepiest things I have ever seen, and I've seen the animated movies of Robert Zemarekis(*shudder*). I didn't even know a pony's face could even contort that way! OK, I NEED to think of a way out of this because I can NOT be seen without my disguise... Besides, I've grown rather fond of these clothes, especially the hat and coat. They're surprisingly comfy.
After that mental ramble, you put on your thinking face as you try to think of every possible way to get out of this mess...
...
*ding*Eureka!
Scream, "Hlep I'm being wrapped!" (I meant to spell them like that) Twi: "Allow me to correct your grammar and be a good friend, I thi-
Deciding to go with your ingenious plan, you shout,
"Hlep!!! I'm being wrapped!!!!"
Twilight looks at you insanely while giggling like a madmare, before saying,
"Silly friend, allow me to correct your grammar and be a good good friend. The word you're actually looking for is-"
Your breath hitches in fear when Twilight doesn't buy it, so you decide to go with plan B. You charge up your RCV and shout...
scream in your rcv if all else fail to get away from her! "stranger danger!" "help I need an adult!" "my bubble space!" "don't hurt me!" or something crazy to babble about like "not the tacos! or pinkie pie we need a help twilight party stat!" shout it out distract her craziness with crazy and hope the shenanigans effect works!
"HELP, I NEED A ADULT!"
Twilight (seemingly unaffected by your RCV) smiles insanely as she whispers,
"Silly, I am a adult."
You whimper in fear as you shout,
"SOMEPONY! STRANGER DANGER OVER HERE!"
Twilight giggles as she says,
"Oh, but we're not strangers. We're BFFAT, as in we're 'best friends for all time'."
You stare at her in pure terror as you shout out your last chance of survival...
"Trust me friend, my touch won't be bad at all. You'll thank me for getting rid of those terrible clothes and hat."
Your eyes are twitching in panic (you didn't even think that was possible) as you mentally panic,
Oh Luna, she's too cuckoo for cocoa puffs to respond to the RCV or any rational thinking! I'm dooooommmmmmed!
You see that Twilight is charging up her magic, and your panic levels reach their max!
Terrified to near 'Pissin yerself' levels by the mentally unstable mare before you, you scream out the first thing that comes to mind. "I don't want your magical plastic surgery! Don't make me look like white Michael Moonwalker (Jackson)!"
Your panic levels have reached 'pee oneself' levels by the mentally unstable mare (of course you're one to talk considering you go psycho whenever you reach phase 3 (it's what you call when your fangs sharpen and you grow horns and three tails in the Nightmare cloak) but still this mare is freaking you out (more then usual at least)). You scream out the most ridiculous things you can think of to hopefully confuse her long enough to allow you to escape,
"I don't want your magical plastic surgery! Don't make me look like white Michael Moonwalker!"
Twilight looks at you with a face that says 'I'm insane and don't care right now' before saying,
"Oh I won't give you magical plastic surgery, I haven't learned any spells in that department yet, but the spell I will do will rip you of your cloths in a very painfully friendly manner."
She then proceeds to give you a sweet smile. causing you stare at her for a few moments in terror before shouting,
"HELP SHE'S CRAZY! I HAVE NO PROBLEM IF SOMELING DECIDES TO SMACK HER AWAY OR KICK HER IN THE HEAD. I'M FINE WITH EITHER, BUT PLEASE SOMEONE SAVE ME!"
Twilight looks like she's gonna cast the spell when...
Now would be a good time for a random falling object to hit Twilight on the head and hopefully disorient her long enough to let you push her off and run like heck!
A flower pot falls out of nowhere and smashes on Twilight's head. You look at her confused as she wobbles side-to-side while mumbling,
"Must... make... report..."
Before she falls off of you and face-plants into the ground next to you. Not wanting to waste this chance to save your awesome clothes, you jump up and run into a nearby bush. You peak out of the ally to see a light gold pegasus with a light cyan mane and tail flying above Twilight. She gives you a salute before flying away. As she flies away you can't help but think,
Oh thank Luna, she saved me. I'm definitely paying her back later, I wonder if she needs anything patched?
As you're thinking this, you see Twilight get back up and look around insanely while talking to herself, before she starts running towards... Fluttershy's!
-Decide to follow her to make sure she doesn't cause too much damage. Besides, she's heading towards Fluttershy's cottage!
Your hero complex takes ahold of you as well as your will to protect your friends as you think,
Oh no! Who knows what Twilight will do if she gets to Fluttershy the way she is now! I gotta stop her... or at the very least make sure she doesn't kill her.
With that you sneakily run after Twilight.
27 MINUTES LATER
you decide to visit Fluttershy and see if she's alright. When you get there you see..."HOLY CRAP IS SHE FIGHTING A BEAR?!!!" " She is going to town on a bear who seems to be crying. Your mouth drops in shock. You're not the only one, you see Twilight, who looks a bit disheveled and is twitching look just as shocked and confused. You look back and see her MURDER THE BEAR BY SNAPPING ITS NECK!!!! You: HOLY CRAP! You swear you hear the words FATALITY said after that. You run away in fear because something very bad has happened to turn Fluttershy evil. Twilight might have done something to her mind because she was a Horde Member! Speaking of her, you follow her to a park bench where she appears to be losing her sanity. OK, something very wrong is going on. Make a note of it in the Journal.
You catch up to Twilight at Fluttershy's hut, but she appears to be staring in shock at something. Curiosity getting the better of you, you sneak into a nearby bush and see...
Your mouth literally drops to the floor in surprise as you see Fluttershy putting the bear in a leglock as it bangs it's fist on the ground. You look away wincing when you saw her elbow drop the bear and see Twilight's jaw also on the ground in shock. You turn around just in time to see-FLUTTERSHY STRAIGHT-UP MURDER THE BUCKING BEAR BY SNAPPING HIS NECK!
"FATALITY" you swore you heard a deep voice declare.
"HOLY MOTHER OF BUCK!!!"
You snap out of your shocked state as you see Twilight walk away while mumbling to herself. You decide to follow her, but you both just miss Fluttershy starting to massage the bear's back,
"You really should have come to me sooner. You were carrying so much tension in that shoulder."
ONE WALK TO THE PARK LATER
You've followed Twilight to a park bench, where she proceeded to lay down on it and pet her tail. She's now apparently arguing with a puddle of her tears causing you to think,
OK, something VERY wrong is going on... I better tell the Doctor.
With that thought in mind, you decide to write in the Doctor's notebook and send him a message,
Doctor, Bugze here. Don't know if this is report worthy, but you have to know this: Twilight Sparkle, one of the Deadly Five and a normally calm and smart mare, has gone- well... bonkers! She has a insane look in her eyes and she looks insane. She tried to rip off my clothes and right now she's on a bench combing her tail while mumbling to herself. Also Fluttershy, a sweet innocent and shy mare, JUST FREAKING SNAPPED A BEAR'S NECK! I'm gonna check on the CMC (my landowners are #$ year olds, go figure) and Nightshade, see if some sort of insane chemical or alien spreading insane gas or something is the cause and if it is, if its infecting them. Bugze out.
With that written down, you start to run towards the CMC and Nightshade...
You've followed Twilight around and reported her movements to the Doctor, and now the day is almost over. You find Nightshade and the CMC playing with a beach ball. Suddenly, your guts twist into knots, and this plays in your head. That was a SERIOUS disturbance in the Force. Twilight pops out of the beach ball, and the doll she has with her is sending off such twisted love vibrations you almost vomit. You really are pathetic, you know that? What do YOU want?! That doll isn't normal. I can feel it trying to snake into your head. What is it with that lately? First Discord, now this. I'm stopping it, by the way. You should be thanking me! Huh. Seems the DFV can be helpful when she wants to be. And what she said about the doll getting into your head... That probably isn't good.
23 MINUTES LATER
By the time you get back to the clubhouse, the day is almost over with and you can't be more thankful for it.
The sooner this day is over with, the sooner I can go to bed and forget any of this craziness ever happened...You think as you reach the clubhouse and find Nightshade and the CMC playing with a beach ball in the nearby field.
Luna, that was a SERIOUS disturbance in the Force! But what could be causing it-
Your question is answered when Twilight pops out of the beach ball with a completely insane look on her face as she approaches the fillies.
*snap* "Ahhh!"
You wince in pain as you think,
What.... Why do I feel weaker than I usually do in this situation-
You really are pathetic, you know that?
You suddenly become more alert as you recognize the D.F.V. as you firmly reply,
What do YOU want?!
Just reminding you that we're STILL recovering from our... draw with that warped lunatic and you still insist on pushing too hard with OUR body you imbecile!
Before you can respond, you suddenly feel another disturbance and look back to see Twilight levitating an old worn doll that's sending off such twisted love vibrations you feel sick.
That doll isn't normal. I can feel it trying to snake into your head, but I'm repelling it. You should be thanking me. the DFV suddenly comments,
Huh. Seems the DFV can be helpful when she wants to be. And what she said about the doll getting into my head... That probably isn't good-
You snap out of your mental debate/rambling when you hear Nightshade cursing and you turn and see the CMC fighting over the doll with Nightshade hitting Scootaloo with a can of WD-40! Your fatherly instincts kicking in, you completely ignore the pain as you rush in, grab Nightshade, and stuff her in the Inventory as you shout,
"SORRY HONEY, BUT THIS IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD! AND IF YOU WANTED A DOLL YOU COULD HAVE ASKED, NOT GO PSYCHO CRAZY OVER A VERY BADLY-MADE ONE!"
After you stuff Nightshade into the Inventory, you look back over to the CMC to see...
Check that. It's HORRIBLE! The entire town is chasing you after you jump up and grab it to get it away from them. You had to do some ungentlemanly things to Mayor Mare to get on top of the pile (read: you pulled her tail, clawed up her back, and kicked her between the eyes as you jumped over Big Mac), but you have the doll. Now you just have to keep it away from everyone else. You teleport away and land on top of Sugarcube Corner. There's another flash next to you, and an enraged Twilight Sparkle appears next to you. "YOU! What are you doing? You're ruining my plan!" You hold the doll in one side of your mouth and talk out the other. "If you know what I'm doing, why did you ask?" You teleport again before she answers. It drops you into the swimming hole. Twilight drops in a moment later, eyes on fire. "No-" You teleport again, this time you're tangled in the branches of an apple tree. Twilight pops under you. "-you-" In a flash, you're gone again. The teleport sends you to the balcony of the library. Twilight lands on top of you. "-DON'T!"
A very strange sight. You see the CMC chasing a huge red stallion who's running off with the doll.
Whoa, what does that guy eat and where can I get some? With muscles like those I could-NO, focus bug! Twilight obviously did something to that doll to make ponies want to have it! There's no other reason I can think of for a grown stallion (especially one with muscles the size of my head) to fight over a doll. So... I guess I'll just go ahead and grab the doll and burn it in fire to release the spell on it... yeah that makes sense.
With that thought in mind you run towards the brawl over the evil doll while shouting...
"MOVE IT YA CRAZY PSYCHOS! CONCERNED PARENT COMIN TO FREE YOU ALL FROM THE EVIL DOLL'S MIND CONTROL!!!"
You also can't help but think,
At least this time it's HER doing the mind control for once, and the Hooded Offender isn't getting blamed for it! Now I get to call her a hippocratic, YES!
BRIEF CHASE LATER
After some running (for a big guy, he can really move) in which several more ponies joined the chase, you finally manage to cut off the stallion as he turns to avoid the Mayor by rolling at his legs, tripping him and causing the doll to fall out of his mouth when he face-plants into the ground. You quickly snatch up the doll and scream,
"BACK YOU CRAZY MOTHERBUCKERS! THE DOLL IS EVIL AND IT MUST BURN! BACK I SAY! BACK!..."
As the ponies start to slowly close in, you think,
Oh... This is bad! If only there was some spell that could teleport me out of-
You facehoof as you remember a spell you could have used several situations ago and declare,
"SEE YA SUCKERS!"
Before you teleport away and land on top of Sugarcube Corner, but there's another flash next to you. You turn and see an enraged Twilight Sparkle next to you who angrily shouts,
"YOU! What are you doing? You're ruining my plan!"
You hold the doll in one side of your mouth and snark out the other,
"If you know what I'm doing, why'd you ask?"
You teleport away before she can answer-
*SPLASH*
...and get dropped into the swimming hole. Twilight drops in a moment later with fire in her eyes as she declares,
"No-"
You teleport again, but now you're tangled in the branches of an apple tree as Twilight pops under you.
"-You-"
In a flash, you're gone again as the teleport drops you headfirst on the balcony of the library as Twilight pops in and lands on top of you.
"-DON'T!"
You teleport once again to the middle of town and you don't see anyling in sight. Just as you're about to breathe a sigh of relief, the ground beneath you starts to shake. Your eyes widen in fear as you look towards the front of the town to see... a horde of crazed possessive ponies running towards you while shouting,
...and by that I mean you start to run for your life and scream like a mad stallion. The crazed mob gives chase as they all shout,
"HE HAS THE PRECIOUS DOLL, GET HIM!!"
You pick up the pace as the mob starts chasing after you as you scream at the top of your lungs,
"CURSE YOU LADY LUCK! CURSE YOU TWILIGHT SPARKLE! CURSE YOU PERRY THE PLATYP- I MEAN DOCTOR! CURSE YOU LUNA! CURSE YOU ALL TO THE ENDS OF THE UNIVERSE! IF I SURVIVE THIS, YOU'RE ALL GOING TO WAKE UP COVERED IN CHICKEN FEATHERS AND SMELLING LIKE DIAMOND DOG DUNG!"
MEANWHILE AT CANTERLOT CASTLE
Princess Luna feels a chill run up her spine, Celestia takes notice of this and asks
"What's wrong sister?"
Luna looks at her sister with a smile at her concern and says,
"Tis nothing dear sister, just a chill."
Celestia nods her head and goes back to eating her dinner. Luna also begins to eat, but a troubling thought enters her mind,
But why do I feel a sense of forbidding dread... I'm locking my door tonight.
MEANWHILE ON THE TARDIS
*shiver*
"Oh, a sense of forbidding dread! I haven't felt that since that time I hid the last heir of an empire from that crazed King's magic."
Derpy responds, "I remember that! That foal was adorable with her little pink wings! Why did we have to leave her in the forest a thousand years later again?"
BACK TO YOU
You've been running for a good 15 minutes now and you're starting to lose stamina as you swear you can feel the crazy mob's breathing down your neck. You've tried everything to throw them off; diving into alleys, teleporting to random places around town, you even hid in a dumpster! But yet they still find you! You run down another alley and are about to get out when you see that it's a dead end!
Oh you have got to be bucking kidding me!
You look around nervously as you hear the crazy mob getting closer. You're about to dive into a dumpster (again) when you hear someling shout,
"THERE HE IS!"
You look at the alley entrance to see the crazy mob coming in (somehow only barely fitting into the tight and narrow space) and getting closer... You're about to cry for your mommy, *ding* when you suddenly get a great idea...
You think about using the staff or FUS RO DAH, but then you remember that you just got this disguise and don't want to blow it so soon so you just RUN!!!
You're about to charge up a Fus Ro Dah to clear out the alley, when you remember that the Hooded Offender is the only one who knows how to use that and since you don't feel like having to blow your new cover on day one, you decide not to abort the attack.
At the very least, I want to last until day eighteen before my cover's blown... if I survive that long that is. Whatever Twilight did to this doll must be super strong if it has the whole town under its spell- Gah! Focus bug, if you don't find a way out of this situation now, you'll be nothing but bug soup! Come on bug, think, think, Think... *ding*Brainblast!
shout, LOOK IT'S THE DOLL! IT TELEPORTED! to distract them.
These ponies are acting like zombies, and not the slow stupid kind of zombies, their running ninja-zombies! But if one thing playing Dead-sun Rising, Resident Weevil 4, and Left 2 Die has taught you, it's how to survive against fast ninja-zombies. First off, find a gun... oh wait, they don't have those in Equestria (stupid arms agreements), and you really shouldn't kill them anyways, so... Get to higher ground! You use your parkor skills to clammer onto the rooftops, away from the ravenous horde below. Thinking you're safe, you take a breather when you hear "GIMME! It'll look great next to my collection of plastic human dolls!" You turn around in time to see Lyra flying towards you wielding a hook-shot. She slams into you and the two of you fall through the thatched roof of the building you were standing on.
With a new plan in mind, you quickly and secretly put the cursed doll behind you as you point behind the mob and shout,
"LOOK IT'S THE ALMIGHTY DOLL! IT TELEPORTED USING ITS GODLY MAGIC!"
The crazed mob all turn simultaneously to look behind them. Taking advantage of the distraction, you grab the doll in your mouth before using your awesome Pony Creed-style parkor skills to climb up onto the nearby roof. You can't help but think as you climb up the wall,
These ponies are like zombies now! Well... not the slow ones like in "The Trotting Dead", they're more like those running zombies that always got me the first time around in the many zombie games I've played, but, if my experience from playing "Dead-sun Rising", "Resident Weevil 4", "Left 2 Die", and "Dead Island" has taught me anything, then it's how to survive fast-walking zombies. First I"ll need to find a gun- Wait, guns aren't real... and I probably don't want to kill anyling anyway, cleanup would be a-
Your thoughts are interrupted when you spot some ponies about to look up so you dive behind a chimney.
I seriously need to find either some holy water or a nice big bonfi-
"GIMME THAT DOLL!"
Your thoughts are interrupted when you hear Lyra's shout. You turn around to see Lyra flying towards you wielding a hook-shot before she slams into you, causing the two of you fall through the thatched roof of the building you were standing on. As you fall though the ceiling, a piece of rubble lands in your mouth. Your eyes widen in surprise as you start to chew and think,
Why does this rubble taste like... gingerbread?
You take cover in Sugarcube Corner/some other building. It goes as well as this.
You get up from the rubble to see Lyra knocked out next to you with her hook-shot next to her. You're about to take it when we see it was broken in the fall. Seeing through the window that the mob is still looking for you, you decide to use that to your advantage. You pick up Lyra and her broken hook-shot and shove them into a nearby closet before nailing the doors shut (luckily there was alot of wood, hammer, and nails nearby). After that you board up the windows and you push a shelf in front of the door. After you're work is done, you spot some Cherry-changas on the counter. Remembering your promise to Nightshade, you put 3 into the inventory ("3 Cherry-changas" added to The Inventory) and are about to get the bits to pay when you hear,
I REALLY wanted to avoid hurting anypony, but now I have no choice!
"PSYCHO CRUSHER!"
You spin-smash though one of the boarded windows and the few ponies unlucky enough to be behind it as you land on your hooves and make a mad dash for safety (while ignoring the pain-radiating bumps on your head from doing that move), but your suddenly get surrounded by the crazy mob! You look all around you in fear as the ponies get closer. Suddenly, a pegasus mare you don't know with a pink mane walks out of the crowd and says,
"Now mister, this can go one of two ways. One ends with us getting our precious doll, and the other ends with you in a bloody puddle. Your choice..."
You gulp in fear, and you do the stupidest thing you can think of...
With the pack of stark raving mad ponies bearing down on you, Twilight abandons you to your fate...or rather she noticed her friends nearby and stopped the Filly Fooler from looking at the doll. You decide to do something drastic since you're not in any shape to fight. You pull out your vice grips and put the doll's head in them. You: Everypony Stay Back, or the Doll Gets it! Herd: GASP! Lyra: No! Bon Bon: Don't hurt that amazing and incredible doll! You: I'll do it I swear! Roseluck: You Monster! Mayor Mare: You will get the chair for this! Big Mac: Eyup! You: Why are you the only dude here? Big Mac: Snarl You: Anyway, why fight over this poorly made piece of junk? Twilight: HEY! My Brother Gave Me That!!! You: When you could have this (Pull out Awesome Luna Plushy that Nightshade was cuddling with and asleep) Herd: Whoa!!! (All there eyes begin to lose their insane look as they sparkle in awe at the beautifully crafted Luna doll) Berry: It's so beautiful Lily: This is the first time I've ever felt true joy Daisy: Wow, is that in mint condition? DFV: She's just the cotton image of a weak pathetic wanabe! You: Whoa, what's up with you? DFV: Nothing...(Pouting) Suddenly, everypony in the herd loses consciousness with a peaceful smile on their face including Twilight and her friends You: Whoa! Didn't expect that...This Doll is Awesome! Thanks Doctor! Wonder why he called it just a plushy though? DFV: Rule number one, the doctor lies You: Oh Yeah...Wait! Are you telling me you've been a Doctor Whoove's fan this whole time and you didn't say anything? DFV: I'm in your head, and I try to like the things you like my friend...I try... Did she sound a little...saddened? You'll have to find out later
You whip out your vice-grips and put them on the doll's head before screaming
"Everypony stay back or the doll gets it!"
The pink-maned pegasus mare in front of you (and the rest of the insane ponies) recoil in fear as they all gasp. The mare in front of you (who's apparently the leader) shouts, "NO!"
You then hear Bon Bon say,
"Don't hurt that amazing and incredible doll!"
You look around nervously and say with a hint of insanity in your voice,
"I'll do it, I swear!" and tug on the doll's head with the vise-grips to emphasize your point. You hear another mare that sounds like someling you know, the mayor, and... a stallion(?) shout,
"You Monster!"
"You'll get the rope for this!"
"Eyup!"
You look at the big red stallion in confusion and ask,
"Why are you the only guy here? Is half this town mares or something or are you... you know.. a really-?"
*Snarl*
"Anyway, why fight over this poorly made piece of junk...?"
"HEY! My Brother Gave Me That!!!" Twilight protests. You ignore her and continue,
"When you could have this!"
With one hoof still on the vise-grips (which are holding on to the head of the doll), your other hoof pulls out the Luna Plushie (that Nightshade was adorably cuddling with while asleep).
"Whoa!!!" The mob all says simultaneously as the insanity in their eyes is replaced with sparkles as they stare in awe at the beautifully crafted Luna doll.
"It's so beautiful!"
"This is the first time I've ever felt true joy!"
"Wow, is that in mint condition?"
It's merely the cheap image of a weak pathetic wannabe!
Recognizing the dark whisper, you think,
Whoa, what's up with you?
Nothing fool... The DFV pouts in your head.
Suddenly, everypony in the mob loses consciousness with a peaceful smile on their face (including Twilight and her friends).
"Whoa! Didn't expect that...This Doll is Awesome! Thanks Doctor! Wonder why he called it just a plushie though?"
Rule number one, The Doctor lies.
"Oh Yeah... Wait! Are you telling me you've been a Whoovian this whole time and you didn't say anything?"
I'm imprisoned in your head. I try to tolerate the things you like... I try...
Did she sound a little... sad-?
Why don't you have anything useful like "The Start of War" by Mule Tzu or "The Prince" by Marechiavelli in this spaciously vacant skull?
And she's back...
After putting the now dubbed "Knock-out Luna Plushie" into the Inventory, you try to think of a way to get rid of the evil doll when you see...
You still have to destroy the ugly doll that is still radiating tainted love. You need to KILL IT WITH FIRE!!! Hey look, there's Spike.
After that as you continue to run, you sight a young purple dragon, is then you shout "Plan Delta ST-456-M" The dragon look to you confused and then you shout "Throw your magic fire, it's a emergency!" The dragon nodded with the head and a burst of green flames came out from his mouth, and you try to throw the magic doll to the flames of Mordor or the most similar thing ........ Meanwhile somewhere else, in Canterlot the doll appeared just in the middle of the throne room, in front of Princess Celestia, Princess Luna and Cadence "What a strange present from my faithfull student... I don't know why but I like it... I will call you miss CuddleDoll" Say Celestia, but as she was going to take the doll, Luna take the doll instead with her hooves "No sister, this doll will be mine!" Shouted Luna as they begin to fight for that doll. Meanwhile Cadence as the princes of love could detect a strange love power from the doll "Auntie, this is not a normal doll" Say Cadence worried looking the doll "Of course, because it will be my doll" Answered Celestia "No! Sister it will be mine!" Say Luna "Never" Shouted Celestia as her horn begin to glow
Spike.
Hey, it's that dragon again. And Dragons breathe fire. Dragon... fire... dragon... fire... dragon fire... *ding* That's it!
You run towards Spike (while jumping over a few unconscious ponies) and shout,
"Spike! Execute Plan Delta ST-456-M!"
The dragon look at you confused causing you to roll your eyes before shouting,
"For the love of Luna... Breathe your magic fire, it's an emergency!"
The dragon looks at the knocked ponies behind you in surprise before then turning to you and seeing the serious look on your face. You guess he believes you now because he nods his head and a burst of green flames come out from his mouth. You throw the cursed doll to the flames of Mordor (or the mlp equivalent of that) and it bursts into ashes as it hits the green flames. You smile at that and tell Spike,
"Good job Spike, you just saved this town from Twilight's mind control spell!"
Spike looks confused before saying,
"Why would sending Twilight's doll to princess Celestia stop her 'Want It Need It' spell?"
You chuckle and say,
"Cause Spike- *crack* YOU SENT IT TO PRINCESS SOLAR FLANK!!!"
Spike looks confused at your nickname for Celestia, but shrugs and say,
"Yeah, I send the princess Twilight's friendship reports by my fire, so the doll probably went the same place."
Your eye twitches in fear as you say,
"I think... I just doomed all of Equestria..."
MEANWHILE BACK AT CANTERLOT CASTLE
The doll appeared just in the middle of the throne room, in front of Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and Princess Cadence as they were in the middle of a super-important discussion of strategy (Translation: they were playing "Uno"). Celestia says,
"What a strange present from my faithfull student... I don't know why, but I like it... I will call you miss CuddleDoll!"
Just as she's about to pick up the doll, Luna suddenly snatches it in her hooves and shouts,
"No dearest sister, this doll shall be mine!"
Meanwhile Cadence, being the princes of love, could detect a strange love power from the doll and says to Celestia in worry,
"Auntie, this isn't a normal doll!"
"Of course, because it will be my doll!" Answered Celestia
"No sister! It's mine!"
"No mine!"
The almighty goddesses of the day and the night then proceed to pull the doll with their magic in a foalish tug-of-war as they repeatedly shout "Mine!". Cadence rolls her eyes as she begins to charge up a love cancellation spell, but can't help but think,
Why do I get the feeling that Bugze is involved with all this somehow?
BACK TO YOU
You look at all the unconscious ponies and spot the 6 mares waking up. As you're about to decide what to do next...
Celestia appears to clear up the mess which causes you to bolt to the nearest hiding spot while screaming, "SOLAR-FLANK IS ANGRY! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE IN FLAMES!!!" Unfortunately, said hiding spot happens to be someplace painful and/or messy. You hide for a few moments before see Twilight walking away in resignation. You're overjoyed at this since she's the leader of the Deadly Five, but either, -Your conscience gets the better of you when you see how upset Fluttershy is
You look up and see Princess Celestia above with an angry look on her face and glowing with energy. Having not heard the name she declared, you jump to conclusions (and back in surprise) and scream,
"SOLAR-FLANK IS UNDER THE DOLL'S MIND CONTROL!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES BEFORE WE ALL DIE IN FLAMES!"
And with that you jump into a trash can... that happened to have broken Colta-Cola bottles in it, but the coat and pants acted as psuedo-armor and you're too terrified to notice anyway. After a few moments, you risk a peek out of the top to see Celestia say something to the mares before flying off and Twilight says something to her friends before walking off in resignation. You're about to cheer in vindictive joy at this, but when you see the sad look on Fluttershy's face, you can't help but sigh and follow after Twilight to see what's wrong...
For after the the doll has been dealt with: when Celestia confronts Twilight, you observe the conversation through the window. "I'm a bad student!" wails Twilight "I missed a friendship report, and I'm so so sorry! Please don't send me back to magic kindergarten!" "Well that's harsh. But you know, if Twilight gets sent back to kindergarten, that means she won't be able to kill me! you think to yourself "This could be a good thing." "That's not why I'm disappointed in you Twilight. Friendship is many wonderful things, but consistent is not always one of them. I don't expect you to send me a report every single week." Celestia tells her "What I am disappointed about is how you attempted to create a problem, just so you could solve it. Though I doubt you'd do anything like this again." her smile returns. "No Princess, never again. So... you're not mad?" "No Twilight, you've learned a valuable lesson from all of this. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to do some... Princess-y things... yes. My precious!" she grips the smarty doll and teleports away. "Darn it! you curse to yourself "Can't ONE thing go my way for once? you sigh defeatedly "Buck this, I'm going to bed."
You stealthily (for real this time. You actually managed to not stumble or accidentally make loud noises for once) follow Twilight back to the library and run around to put your ear onto the window to hear their conversation...
"But... but... I'm supposed to send you a letter about friendship every week. I missed the deadline. I'm a bad student! I'm... tardy!" Twilight wails. "I completely understand if you put me back in Magic Kindergarten..."
Wow, that's harsh... But if Twilight gets sent back to kindergarten, that means she won't be able to zap me anymore! you think to yourself, This could be a good thing!
"That's not why I'm disappointed in you Twilight. Friendship is many wonderful things, but consistent is not always one of them. You are a wonderful student, Twilight. I don't have to get a letter every week to know that." Celestia tells her
"What I am disappointed about is how you attempted to create a problem, just so you could solve it. Though I doubt you'd do anything like this again." her smile returns.
"No Princess, never again! So... you're not mad?"
"I could never stay mad at my most faithful student."
"Darn it!" You curse to yourself "Can't ONE stinking thing go my way for once?"
You then remember that you're at the window when you made your outburst. You look inside to see the mares (When the hay did they get there?) and Celestia start to turn towards you, so you panic and teleport outta there...
ONE TELEPORT LATER
And back to the clubhouse onto the sleeping cot! You sigh in happiness as you start to get ready for bed, but as you do you can't help but think...
After all that, Twilight's friends vouched for her and she was let off easy. For mind control. For causing mass disorder and chaos. And for deliberatly disturbing a certain someling who was "new" in town. Seriously!? You yourself were accused of those things and you earned a wanted poster and the wrath of Equestria's Five most dangerous mares you've ever met, and all Twilight got was a scolding from a pseudo parent?! That's not remotely in proportion when a person gets in trouble for something! The legal system is a big massive bust! And the ones who run should feel bad! Celestia should be ashamed!
After all that, Twilight gets off easy? For mind control, causing mass disorder and chaos, and for deliberately disturbing a certain someling who was "new" in town? Seriously!? I get accused of those things and get a wanted poster and the wrath of a Kingdom and all Twilight got was a scolding from a fat-flanked sun goddess?! That's not fair at all! The legal system is a big massive bust! And the ones who run it should feel bad! Celestia should be ashamed!
You sigh as you take off your clothes and get on the cot the CMC put in for you, you close your eyes and go into a dreamless sleep...
THE NEXT MORNING
You wake up the next day (you think it might be about 10:00 am judging by the position of the sun) and as you put on your clothes, there's only one thing you have on your mind...
First things first, write a resume: Name: Baker Sylvester Tennant Species: Chan Unicorn (You can't exactly say you're a changeling and since you have a horn, can do magic, and can't fly anyway, you're a "Unicorn" by default) Residence: Appleloosa (previous), Ponyville Skils: Video gaming Knowledge of movies and video games Patching stuff with duct tape, WD-40, and vise-grips Sewing Putting up signs Can speak very loudly [DWC can insert more skills that I've forgotten/left out] Previous Jobs: "Patcher" Gamer Sweeper DeliveryliPONY Priva Errands and oddjobs around Appleloosa Special Needs: Has a condition that requires limbs, back, and lower half of face to be covered and gives pure blue eyes as seen in the accompanying Doctor's Note
You decide that the first thing you should do before you go job hunting is to write a resume. Hopefully if you write a good enough one, the ponies you ask for jobs won't kick you out as soon as you walk in. With that idea in mind, you take out the Doctor's pen and rip some paper out of the notebook. You set the piece of paper down and you begin to write your resume:
Name: Baker Sylvester Tennant (B.S.T for short)
Species: Chan Unicorn
Residence: Appleloosa (previous), Ponyville
Next of Kin: One filly, Nightshade
Skills: Video gaming Knowledge of movies and video games Patching stuff with duct tape, WD-40, and vise-grips Sewing Putting up signs Sweeping Can speak very loudly Pranking Limited hoof-to-hoof combat knowledge Running Singing Rock
Previous Jobs: "Patcher" Gamer Sweeper DeliverylinPONY Privat Errands and oddjobs around Appleloosa Foal Sitter
Special Needs: Has a condition that requires limbs, back, and lower half of face to be covered and gives pure blue eyes as further explained in the accompanying Doctor's Note Keep pears away from him, can't stand pears, but will eat bananas or desserts ESPECIALLY Cake. Vegetarian
You nod your head in satisfaction at your resume before putting it into your overcoat pocket and you climb out of the clubhouse. When you reach the ground you begin your walk to town hall where you hope there's a 'Help Wanted' bulletin board like back in Appleloosa.
Of course, this one will probably have other jobs in it aside from just fixing jobs like back in Appleloosa.
You smile fondly as you remember all the times you had to go to the 'Fix-it' Board in the middle of Appleloosa. You would always find something new to patch everyday... and how it was usually Carrot Top who needed something fixed.
I swear that mare can't go one day without breaking something. It's like she does it on purpose! And I thought I was clumsy...
You laugh at how ridiculous it would be for someling to purposely break something. You continue to go down memory lane as you walk towards town hall...
You head towards town hoping they have some 'Help Wanted' posters. You see a bulletin board with multiple requests, you see a few interest ones and take them with you. However, you feel a sense of dread as you leave town hall "Its gonna be one of those days isn't it?" you mutter to yourself as you countinue forward.
Nightshade pops up and says N: Hey Daddy, why don't you get a job fixing stuff like you did back in Appleloosa? (she says while holding your duct tape) Well if there is one thing you are good at besides causing a mess, it's fixing it. Besides, this town gets wrecked on it's own on an almost daily basis, there's got to be some sort of Fix It group around. Go to the town hall to find out where. You: Great Idea honey, now get back to your room while we're in public N: Ahhh, but I'm not tired anymore, I wanna play with my friends (whining) You: Sigh...not right now honey... She grumbles and goes back inside as you feel a little guilty. Night Shade seems to be more and more active since she is popping out of the inventory more often. You should really get her a dress or something to cover up her wings so that the deadly 5 or Luna don't recognize her so she doesn't have to stay in there all the time. And it does make you happy that the Cutie Mark Crusaders are now her friends. You feel...fatherly pride. Also, you see a poster showing a sale of costumes for Nightmare Night at a place called Barnyard Bargains. Whoa, Nightmare Night is only in a few days? You smile as you decide to get Nightshade a costume later to make up for making her go back in the satchel. You: I can't wait to see her all dressed up with her friends. DFV: Hmph...what does she need friends for when she's got her parents? You: OK, that's the third time you've claimed motherhood over her, how exactly is that possible? You're a voice in my head, how could we have...you know...? DFV: You're an idiot...(stops talking) You: Oh come on...fine be cryptic Town Hall Receptionist: Umm...excuse me. Are you talking to me? You: No...(you leave it at that) She just shrugs and and asks you what you want.
20 MINUTES LATER
As you're walking towards town hall, Nightshade suddenly pops her head out of the Inventory adorably and asks,
"Where are we going Daddy?"
You chuckle at how adorable she looks and say
"Well sweetie, Daddy's going to town hall to get a job. We can't survive on cereal, Granola Bars, and dried fruits forever now can we?"
Nightshade nods her head dumbly and says,
"I guess so Daddy... Hey I know! Why don't you get a job as a job fixing stuff like you did back in Appleloosa?"
You smile at Nightshade as you think,
That's actually not a bad idea. If the Deadly Five live here, then this place must have it's own 24/7 Fix-it crew. Besides, if there's anything I'm good at besides video games, kicking fillyfooler butt, and messing things up, it's fixing things.
You then give a big smile to Nightshade as you say,
"That's a great idea sweetie! Now, do your daddy a favor and go back to your room."
Nightshade puts on her big-eyed pouty face and whines,
"But I'm not tireddddd, and I want to play with my freeeeiiiinnnnndddds!"
You sigh like any parent would when their foal whines, and you say with sympathy,
"I know you do sweetie, but until daddy gets enough time to visit Zecora to get some transformation potions, you're going to have to stay away from the public view until then, so go eat those cherry-changas I promised you, okay?"
Nightshade give a sad sigh before saying in a overly exaggerated tone,
"Finnnnnnn-wait, Cherī - CHANGAS! Subarashī! Okage de papa! Watashi wa anata o aishite!" (CHERRY-CHANGAS! Awesome! Thanks Daddy! I love you!)"
With that she ducked her head back into the Inventory ("0 Cherry-changas" remaining). You sigh in defeat at your daughter's behavior, but can't help but think with fatherly pride,
Even though her new surge of energy is probably gonna get her in trouble, I'm just so proud that she's made friends with the CMC. I know! I'll buy her some clothes for when I sign her up for school! Even though she'll be around *growl* colts... Cherilee was right, Nightshade needs social interaction. I'll sign her up for school after I get a job. Besides, it's Sunday so the schoolhouse is closed today anyway.
With that thought in mind you start to get closer to the town hall, and you notice two posters. One talks about how a sale of costumes for Nightmare Night at a place called "Barnyard Bargains". You look at the poster in surprise as you think,
Whoa! It's gonna be Nightmare Night soon!
Changelings typically love Nightmare Night as it's one of the few times they can openly be changelings without being squished on site. You start to smile as you think,
I know what I need to do. I'll take Nightshade shopping to this "Barnyard Bargains" place and get costumes!
You nod your head at the idea before proceeding to look at the second poster, and well... it looks weird.
"What the hay?"
The only thing the poster says is in big bold letters. It says...
THE NIGHTMARE COMES
Your blink your eyes to see if you're actually reading the poster right, but when you open them the poster is gone!
What in the.. .Where'd that poster go?! What could 'The Nightmare Comes' even mean? Hmmmm, I should tell the Doctor about this later...
With that thought in mind you go back to walking towards the town hall. As you enter the town hall you start talking out loud as you remember the costume sale,
"I can't wait to see her all dressed up with her friends."
Suddenly you hear a dark whisper in your head say,
Hmph... what does she need friends for when she's got her parents?
Your eye twitches in annoyance at the unwelcome voice as you say out loud,
"OK, that's the third time you've claimed motherhood over her, how exactly is that possible? You're a voice in my head, how could we have... you know...?"
You blush red as you mumble off awkwardly. You hear the DFV scoff and say in a sad/superior tone,
You're an idiot...
You wait for her to continue, but when she doesn't you sigh in annoyance and say,
"Oh come on... Fine! Be cryptic! You're even more cryptic than Clockwork from Finny Phantom, you know that?"
You then realize that you've been facing the receptionist the whole time you were arguing with the DFV, so she's now giving you a strange look before asking in a slightly reluctant tone,
"Umm... excuse me. Are you talking to me?"
You chuckle nervously before giving her a blank look and saying
"No..."
And with that you walk awkwardly away from her desk and over to the 'Help Wanted' bulletin board. The receptionist just shrugs her shoulders before going back to her magazine. You sigh in relief that she didn't ask any question and you look over the bulletin board.
You grab all the jobs that interested you, sadly this town doesn't have a Fixing crew, so there goes that idea. So you grab the other jobs, but as you're walking out of town hall, you suddenly get a sense of dread as you feel a chill slither up your spine. You shake it off, but you can't help but say,
"It's gonna be one of those days, isn't it?"
As if on que, the sky suddenly darkens and it begins to pour. You sigh in annoyance as you say.
"It's gonna be a long day..."
And with that, your day begins...
SEVERAL FIRINGS LATER
Why must my life suck so much?
You ask yourself this question for the millionth time that day as you walk aimlessly down a dirt road. You're probably wondering why you're so down in the dumps. Well you see, you got fired... from every signal job you took. Literally.
Every.
Signal.
One.
You start to list off the jobs you got fired from as you walk down the dirt road...
Become a lawyer bent on purifying a flawed legal system. Your first case: in defense of the Hooded Offender!
first you try to be waiter, but maybe because Lady Luck you stumble with another waiter and in a domino effect, you send flying almost every dish and you end fired. Next you try sending mail, after all if that grey pegasus can, you could do it also, but in the first house, one dog that seems very similar to one of your ex-lackey Diamond Dogs, bite you in the ass and eat all your mail and after you explain this to the boss you are fired. There is a job in a church, but after you put your hoof there you think something is strange like if you suddenly are in the lair of some dungeon boss. And then you see what you think and hope is a copy of Discord statue, one pony with a tunic and a hood come near you and tell you it's the church of their great god Discord, you try to put sense in him, but he kick you out of the church for blasphemy to his god. After that you think, maybe a lawyer to defend the offender, but that is something you can ask to your fans so you decide to try something else. The next job is as Firepony, as you try to put off fire, but the hose is very powerfull and you end knocking out the filly fooler that was flying around there casually and they fired you again.
Work as a janitor in a dentist's office, but get fired after scaring off the patients by (badly) singing "The Dentist Song" from Little Shop of Horrors.
"Lets see, I was fired from dentist office janitor for scaring off the patients by singing "The Dentist Song" from My Little Shop of Horrors. Kicked out of the Firepony Brigade because I accidentally knocked the fillyfooler out of the sky when I tried to use the fire hose to water the plants of those Earth Pony mares I almost crushed. In all honesty, that's actually my favorite firing heh heh..."
You snicker as you remember the shocked look on Rainbow Dash's face before being hydro-blasted into a brick wall. You then continue your listing...
"Lets see, I was also fired from a cult that was worshiping Discord. How they haven't been arrested and put into the dungeon yet is beyond me. I was also fired from being a lawyer because apparently screaming 'OBJECTION' in court is not how that works. And I also apparently need something called a 'law degree."
You stop walking to do hoof quotes before continuing walking down the dirt road,
"I got fired from a fancy restaurant called 'Le Fancy Food' after I caused a domino effect by tripping on the other waiters, which in turn caused a waiter to land on a table, which in turn sent all the other tables flying though the air like leaves, which in turn made the building collapsed because a table slammed into a support beam, which in turn caused all the other ones to fall..."
"Yeah... that was strange. At least I was able to stuff a slice of Tiramisu into my mouth on the way out."
You shake your head at that pony's weird laugh as you continue to list off your "jobs",
"Also got sacked from the mail service after I accidentally sent my boss's love letter to his crush... who was a married mare... who's husband is close friends with my boss's mother... yeah, now I know why they call it 'going postal'."
You have a new scar to vouch for you.
"And finally..."
You suddenly go into flashback mode as you remember when you got fired from the Ponyville guards...
Try to join the Town militia, but get kicked out of basic training because you kept emulating the destructive/violent methods and attitudes of loose-cannon enforcers from action flicks like Dirty Marery Canterhan or Maretin Riggs
SOME BASIC TRAINING AGO
""Okay recruits! For today's training exercise, Caramel will pose as a stallion who has locked himself in his own house after his marefriend broke up with him and won't come out. Now proper procedure for-"
You ignore the captain's lecture as you charge forward and ram into the door shoulder-first knocking it (and you) down. While on the floor, you proceed to roll on the ground and fire off stun spells like Maretin Riggs from "Lethal Armament" until you reach the stairs. You get up and declare,
as you dash up the stairs and down the hall while firing off more stun spells along the way. You finally buck down the door before whirling around and pointing your glowing horn at the "perp" before saying:
"I LIED!" you scream as you tackle the "perp" through the window and you both land on the stack of hay placed outside. As you get back up you look down at the "perp" and say,
The house explodes behind you! It would later be revealed that during your indiscriminate stun spelling, you ruptured the gas pipe and knocked over some matches, but for now you'e startled and knocked down by the explosion. As you get back up you say,
"Oh Luna, I didn't know there would be explosives! I totally messed up my cue to walk away like a badflank as my overcoat billows in the wind! Can I have a redo?"
You turn to the others to see the other 2 recruits looking at you in shock while the Captain glares at you in pure teeth-clenching rage. You look at her in concern for a few moments before you say,
"Ohhhh... Is this the part where you order me to turn in my badge and then I solve the case on my own and get my badge back?"
BACK TO PRESENT
You shake your head in embarrassment as you say,
"Note to self: Action movies are not an accurate representation of real life... Even if my life is like an action flick at times."
Eat "linner" which, considering your supplies and budget, is one of your boxes of Multigrain Cereal (while thinking about how there's a word for "Brunch", but not for "Linner" or "Lupper: or anything like that) before being found by Applebloom who invites you to the farm.
And with that you finally list finish listing off all the times you got fired today. You notice that it's late afternoon so you sit down in the shade of a nearby tree, look both ways to make sure noling is watching, and proceed to take out a box of multigrain cereal ("4 Boxes of Multigrain Cereal Left") before pulling down your face mask to start eating. As you much on your "meal" you think,
Let's see, I can't be a clown; too much make-up and noling trust clowns anymore since those gritty and scary Batmare movies came out. Can't be a Doctor, don't know how to travel through time or use s sonic screwdriver. Can't be a painter, would gain the attention of those guys back in Prance and that would be bad...
You get a brief flashback to being chased down a street by anarchist mimes covered in splashed paint and wielding baguettes while throwing various cheeses at you.
Hey how come there's a word for brunch and not linner? I mean it makes sense-Focus bug. Love doctor... maybe... nah, too cliche. Maybe a teacher... nah one foal's enough. I'll have a heart attack if I have to take care of more then one kid at a time. Plus it'd be awkward for Nightshade to say "Hi, my daddy is the weird pony wearing Doctor Whooves clothes". You know, I bet there's a linner in Manehatten, those ponies are always making up smart words- dang it bug focus!
With that, you pour what's left of the box into your mouth, get up and continue to walk down the dirt road. After awhile you see your destination on the horizon. You sigh to yourself as you see your last chance of being able to support yourself and your daughter financially... and most likely your death as well, for you see the one place that will lead to a painful death...
Lady Luck bucks you over by giving you a stable job as a farmhoof/patcher... At Sweet Apple Acres
There it is... Sweet Apple Acres. Even though I'd probably die screaming there (or at the very least swinging knowing the hick...), I've bucked apples before, farms typically have things that need patching, and with all those apple trees, if a barrel of apples were to disappear into the stomach of a filly with a huge appetite...well that's fine by me. Besides, seeing as how the CMC's clubhouse is technically on their property, I'm gonna be running into them sooner or later anyway...
When you walk on the farm, you run into the big red stallion having trouble with a cart. Get on friendly terms with him by using WD-40 to loosen the wheels and he introduces you to Granny Smith.
As you walk down the dirt path towards your doo-I mean Sweet Apple Acres, you see the big red stallion from yesterday (the only stallion that went after that cursed doll) and he looks like he's having trouble with something. As you walk over to see if you can help him, you start to think,
I really need to find out what happen to that demented doll. I mean, I saw it get teleported by Spike's green flame to Celestia, but after that I don't know. Celestia obviously snapped out of it somehow since she wasn't bat-stinking insane when she gave Twilight that "scolding". Ahh whatever, I'll find out later, let's see what Big Red's problem is.
You reach Big Red and see that he's pulling a wagon full of apple barrels with a bit of difficulty. You walk next to him and ask,
"Hey Red, got a problem?"
Big Red nods his head and says,
"Eyup."
You nod your head as you look over the wagon. Not seeing anything wrong with it, you ask,
"Sooooo... what's the problem?"
Big Red unhitches the wagon, walks up to the front wheel and kicks it. Understanding his gesture, you nod your head while saying
"Ah" before smiling and saying,
"Don't worry Big Red, I got just the thing."
He looks at you confused at the nickname, but you don't notice as you begin to dig around The Inventory. You think about one of your cans of WD-40 and pull it out and then proceed to walk over to the wheel and spray it as you say,
"One of the many things my Grandbug-er I mean Grandpony taught me. If it's supposed to move but doesn't, use WD-40."
Big Red nods his head at your advice while saying,
"Eyup."
You stop spraying and give the wheel a light nudge causing it to move more smoothly. You nod your head at your hoofwork and blow on the nozzle of the can before putting it back in the Inventory. Big Red attaches the wagon to his back and nods his head in thanks before he begins to walk towards the farm. As he walks away you think,
Another satisfied custo- Oh... Luna darn it!
You suddenly remember why you even came here in the first place, so you dash after him and when you catch up to him you say,
"Wait! Uh... you see I was actually on my way to the farm your heading to for the job the owners' posted, and I'm guessing you work there. It would be great if you could introduce me to the boss there."
Big Red looks like he's thinking about it, before he nods his head and says,
"Eyup."
You smile and begin to walk with him and as you walk to the farm you can't help but say,
"You don't talk much do you Big Red?"
Big Red nods his head and just says,
"Eyup. Name's Big MacIntosh by the way."
"Baker Sylvester Tennant, but you can call me B.S.T."
This certainly isn't awkward. Nope, not awkward at all...
And with that the short and silent walk to the farm began...
A SHORT WALK LATER
Granny Smith comments on your pure blue eyes which causes you to get defensive until Granny Smith replies that they remind her of an old ex-coltfriend. You then remember how Grandbuggy used to brag about being quite the playcolt when he was younger with mares of all species, but surely he and the Hick's grandmother didn't-ABORT LEWD THOUGHTS! NO! NOOOOOOOOOO! MY EYES!!! SOMELING GOUGE THEM!!!
When you meet Granny Smith she has a reaction you don't quite expect G: D-Doctor? You: Umm... G: Doctor is that you? You: N-No, I'm Baker Sylvester Tennant, I don't know medicine or anything G: Oh...(Downcast), sorry about that youngun. Some of yer clothes reminded me of someone I used to know (distant look in her eyes before shaking her head and cheering up) then again at my age you can't help but start seeing things. I swore I saw my grandson fighting a horde of mares over a doll yesterday heh heh. You: heh heh...ya... In your mind (Holy Crap, she knew the Doctor? Which one though? Well seeing as how Lady Luck and her evil sister fate have lead me here, I might as well make a note of it.)
As you and Big Red (yes, he did tell you that his name is Big MacIntosh, but you feel that Big Red sounds better) reach a farm, you see a old-looking green mare who looks like nothing but skin and bones. She has a frizzy white mane and tail, and her cutie mark is a apple pie. You can't help but think,
Please tell me her special talent is making pies. Pleaseeeee...
You snap out of it when you realize that Big Red is pointing her hoof at her. You look at him confused and ask,
"Is she the owner of this farm?"
Big Red nods his head and says,
"Eyup"
You nod your head, say a quick "Thanks" before you walk over to the old pony. As you walk over to her, you start to think,
Okay gotta remember, treat your elders with respect. Don't ever mention bingo around them unless you need them to go away. Uhhh what was the last one... urg what was it... oh yeah! Never look them in the e-why is she staring at me?
Apparently you reached the old pony while you where thinking and she's been staring at you the whole time. You begin to stare back and you're about to slap yourself when she says something... weird.
"D-Doctor?"
Your eyes widen in shock as you look around to see if the TARDIS somehow managed to appear without you knowing. But when you don't see it or the Doctor, you look at the old pony in confusion and say in a awkward tone,
"Umm..."
The old pony doesn't seem to notice your awkward tone as she looks you up and down before saying,
"Doctor, is that you?"
Realizing that she's talking to you, you begin to stutter nervously as you remember that you're wearing some of the Doctor's old cloths. You manage to mumble out nervously,
"N-No ma'am, I'm Baker Sylvester Tennant, I don't know medicine or anything wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey... stuff."
The old mare looks sad as she says,
"Oh... sorry about that youngun. Some of yer clothes reminded me of somepny I used to know,"
She gets a distant look in her eyes before shaking her head and cheering up saying,
"Then again at my age you can't help but start seeing things. I swore I saw my grandson fighting a horde of mares over a doll yesterday heh heh."
You laugh nervously at the thing that really happened as you say,
"Heh heh... ya..."
The old mare shakes her head as she says,
"Were are my manners, mah name is Granny Smith, but you can call me Smith."
You nod your head, but on the inside of your mind you are really panicking,
Holy Stupid Ducks, she knew the Doctor? Which one though? Well seeing as how Lady Luck and her evil sister fate have lead me here, I might as well send a note to the Doctor about this along with the whole 'The Nightmare Comes' thing later. Right now, I need a job.
Before you can ask Granny Smith about the job, she suddenly says,
"You know youngun, your pure blue eyes remind me of an ex-coltfriend I had so many decades ago. He sure knew how to surprise a mare, and the things that stallion could do with duct tape..."
Granny suddenly starts to giggle like a filly with a blush on her face, while all you can do is think in confusion,
You know, I remember how Grandbuggy used to brag about being quite the playcolt when he was younger with mares of all species, but surely he and the Hick's grandmother didn't-
You suddenly picture something that you wished you never saw, and you have to hold back the strong urge to claw your eyes out as you scream in your mind,
NO! DO NOT WANT! ABORT LEWD THOUGHTS! ABORT- MY EYES, THEY BURN!!! SOMELING GOUGE THEM!!! WHY CRUEL WORLD, WHHHYYYYYY?!!!
Granny Smith looks at your pained and horrified look before saying,
"Uh shucks, I'll never understand youngun these days. Now did y'all need somthing?"
Shaking the now forever burned vision from your mind (for now), you ask Granny Smith,
"Actually, I'm here for the job you posted in town hall."
Granny Smith looks confused for a second, before realizing something and saying,
"Oh, you mean the job my granddaughter put up. Well ya'll just need to talk to her, she's just over yonder."
She points behind you, and you turn around to see...
The hick bucking apples.
Buck....
You sigh in defeat, say thank you, and begin to walk over to Applejack...
You walk up to the farmhouse, and spot bane-of-your-every-waking-moment #4, otherwise known as Applejack. You feel you're severely going to regret doing this, but you also have no other choice. After you swallow the lump in your throat, you finally manage to walk up and talk to her. "Ahem, hello there. I umm... here you're in need of some help around here?" you say nervously, ready to make a run for it at any moment. "Sure do. Y'all must be here for the position. These acres of ours have kept expandin' over the years, and we just can keep up." she explains "We're sure are glad y'all are here to help mister... what's yer name again?" she leans in, eyeing you intently. "Oh umm, me?" You're getting nervous the way she's staring at you "I- I'm B- Baker S- Sylvest... here's my resume!" you shove the piece of paper in her face. She takes it and looks over it carefully, looking back up at you periodically . You really hope she doesn't see through you again, and gosh it's getting hot out here, you can feel yourself sweating bullets already. She's staring right at you, why is she staring right at you? Why isn't she saying anything? Is she on to you? Oh crud, she's totally on to you! Make a break for it bug she's gonna- "A pleasure to make your acquaintance Mister Baker Sylvester Tennant!" she says, although you can barely make it out through the earthquake-tier hoofshake she's giving you "Just head on out to the east side of the orchard, Big Mac will fill you in on what to do. And if y'all see that lazy pegasus Rainbow Dash nappin' in our trees, tell her she's got clouds for that." "C-c-c-combo breake- I mean, can do ma'am." you say as you recover from the aftershocks.
You walk over to bane-of-your-every-waking-moment #4, otherwise known as Applejack. You feel you're severely going to regret doing this, but you also have no other choice. After you swallow the lump in your throat, you finally manage to walk up to her and say,
"Ahem, hello there... I, umm... here for the job you posted in the... town hall?"
You say nervously, ready to make a run for it at any moment. Applejack gives you a big smile as she says,
"Sure do. Y'all must be here for the position of farmhoof. We're sure are glad y'all are here to help mister... what's yer name again?" she leans in, eyeing you intently.
"Oh umm, me?" You're getting nervous the way she's staring at you "I- I'm B- Baker S- Sylvester T-Tennant... here's my resume!"
You take the piece of paper out of your coat pocket and shove it in her face. She takes it and looks over it carefully, looking back up at you periodically with a questing look. As she continues to do this, you begin to freak out and think,
I REALLY hope she doesn't see through my disguise again, and gosh it's getting hot out here, I can feel myself sweating bullets already! She's staring right at me, why is she staring right at me? Why isn't she saying anything? Is she on to me!? Oh crud, she's totally on to me! Make a break for it bug she's gonna get ya! Get to the chopa-
"A pleasure to make your acquaintance Mister Baker Sylvester Tennant!" she says, although you can barely make it out through the earthquake-tier hoofshake she's giving you,
"Just head on out to the east side of the orchard, and start bucking the apple trees until you either fill 29 buckets or you reach the end of the acre. And if y'all see that lazy pegasus Rainbow Dash nappin' in our trees, tell her she's got clouds for that."
Your still shaking, so you start to say the first thing that comes to your head,
"C-c-c-combo breake- I mean, can do ma'am." you say as you recover from the aftershocks of that hoofshake. You stop shaking after awhile and turn around to go to the field when...
Get a job has a farmhoof which pays [DWC inserts salary here], but includes lodging as they give you an old shed (the CMC need the clubhouse) and three free apples a day. -The shed is small with torn curtains and the Apple family provided you with a large washtub (for bathing and laundry) and a spare cot, but since you have the Inventory for storage, it'll do as you fix up the shed with your sewing and patching tools.
When Applejack reads your resume, she mentions how her cousin Braeburn knew another Patcher in Appleloosa named Bugze and asks if you know either of them.
"Hey, Mister Tennant!"
You turn back to Applejack, worried that she might know your secret, but instead she gives you a kind smile and says,
"I almost forgot. You get paid 20 bits a day, but you and your daughter can stay in our old shed and you get 2 free apples a day. Your job, if ya'll forgotten already, is to buck apples and patch up anything around the farm. You get holidays off and you gotta be here as soon as you drop off or pick up your daughter at school, alright!"
You nod your head and yell back "Okay!"
Your about to go to work when Applejack asks,
"Hey, Mister Tennant. My cousin Braeburn is best friends with a patcher back in Appaloosa named Bugze. You know him?"
You smile at Applejack and say,
"Yeah! He's my cousin. Patching runs in the family, so he got a job up in Appleloosa, while I got a job here. In fact I think my cousin El Hunko is a patcher in Canterlot."
You may sound calm, but you were actually mentally panicking at a mile a minute,
Holy mother of the moon, I can't believe I just thought up a cover for all my disguise just then! Thank Luna that I can just use the cousin excuse for now on. And I thought I told Braeburn to never tell Applejack about me! Ohh hes gonna get it when I send him my next mail...
While you were thinking, you don't hear Applejack mumble,
"A whole family of patchers, that'll be mighty helpful for the next family reunion."
She then nods her head and says to you,
"Ya'll get to work ya hear! Me and Granny are gonna get your shed prepared!"
You salute her and say,
"Yes ma'am!"
And with that your work day starts...
SEVERAL HOURS OF WORK LATER
When nopony is looking, experiment to see what happens when you Falcon Punch or Shoryuken an apple tree and compare if it's more or less effective than just plain bucking the trees
This has got to be the fifth-hundredth time someling has managed to corner me. If I survive this, I am sooooo gonna learn how to dodge and block from the Kung-Fu for Dummies book. Cause I am seriously getting tired of being cornered by these ponies.
Did Bugze ever do this? AJ witnesses your training montage and is quite impressed with it. She's a rodeo pony you know, (which you do, because she tells you all about it) and asks if there's any help you need. She spots the Kung Fu for Dummies book before you can stop her and sees the chapter on dodging. Unfortunately, she decides to help you with that, if you want to or not. You shake in fear after she leaves, and turn around to continue your training. You suddenly hear "DODGE!!!" and turn around in time to get bucked in the face. AJ shakes her head and promises that you'll learn. You struggle to your feet after she leaves again. At least your mask stayed- "DODGE!!!" You turn and an apple slams into your face. Apple Bloom looks out from behind a tree. "You gotta be faster than that, Mister!"
After bucking apples for some time, you managed to fill all 29 buckets and then some (you counted at least 40). Now you're practicing out your moves since no one's looking. You opened the Kung-Fu for Dummies book to the dodging chapter, and right now you're practicing dodging, Falcon Punch, dodging, Shoryuken, dodging, and so on. Your dodging and basic punching skills have gotten slightly better and you're about to Shoryuken a tree, when you hear something you really don't want to hear...
"Not bad."
You stop mid-punch which unfortunately causes you to flop face-first into the grace. You then start to panic, but you calm down as you think,
Calm down bug! If she knew she would have attacked you, and considering you're still standing, just stay calm!
You look up to see Applejack giggling as she walks over to you with an impressed look in her eyes and says,
"Them's some pretty fancy moves, Mister Tennant, but it's all just power and luck. Luckily for you, I'ma gonna help train ya."
The next thing you know, Applejack is suddenly wearing a red hoody, blue swish pants, and is eating a chocolate bar. She then says
"Lets get ta work!"
You can't help but think in dread,
Luna help me...
since sweet apple acres is HUGE there's Probably something you can find to help you train. That being said you gotta train with out the DFV you woulda lost for sure so i suggest *ahem* EPIC TRAINING MONTAGE
This plays in the background as you start to train under Applejack's coaching,
First she has you run around apple tress while apples are being thrown at you.
Then she has you do push ups... with a barrel on your back... and then weights on your neck... Yeah, you're gonna be sore in the morning.
Next she has you do jumping jacks while dodging rotten eggs,
Finally, she has you dodge her attacks while she repeatedly shouts "DODGE!" You hurt all over and let's just leave it at that. You shake in exhaustion after she leaves and turn around to call it a day when you suddenly hear,
"DODGE!!!"
You turn around in time to get a buck to the face. AJ shakes her head and says,
"You shouldn't turn your back on an opponent sugarcube. By the way, since your shift's done and it's sundown, why don't ya come in and eat supper with us? We have soup, biscuits, Apple Crisp..."
You jump up as soon as she said Apple Crisp and say,
"I'm good, gimme the Crisp!"
Applejack giggles at your outburst while... blushing?
Nah I'm seeing things, that hick can't blush... Well maybe she needs to be around the fillyfooler first...
Applejack says bye as you go to retrieve your hat. You can't help but feel the place where she punched you and think,
At least my mask stayed-
"DODGE!!!"
You turn and an apple splats into your face. Apple Bloom looks out from behind a tree and says,
"You gotta be faster than that, Mister!"
You grumble something along the lines of
"You're real lucky there's a whole bunch of reasons I can't stay made at you..."
Before you go to eat...
When it gets dark to signal the end of the work day, eat supper with the Apples. When they ask where's your daughter, you reply that she's asleep and try to leave it at that. When the topic of the Hooded Offender comes up, all four of the Apples are unsurprisingly anti-H.O.
As you're eating with the Apples (your taste buds are melting at how good their Apple Crisps are. You hold open your face mask in a way so you can just drop each spoonful in without anypony seeing your Changeling lower face), they ask you questions about where you used to live and what kind of job you had before coming here and stuff like that. The conversation suddenly turned to the Ponyville Schoolhouse which causes Applejack to ask,
"Hey Mister Tennant, where's your daughter?"
Apple Bloom is about to respond, but you quickly blurt out,
"My daughter is... sleeping at the shed! Yeah, she requires quite a bit of sleep. Trust me, when you see her appetite, you'll be glad she sleeps so much."
In an attempt to steer the conversation away from your daughter you quickly add,
"So... Any of you heard of this 'Hooded Offender' guy everylin- PONY is yakking about?"
"Nope..." Big MacIntosh growls as you notice the table starting to crack at where he has his hooves at.
"That Hooligan needs a spanking for what he's done to my granddaughters!" Granny Smith declares,
Applebloom looks down with a conflicted look on her face as Applejack (unsurprisingly) says,
"I'm gonna hang that varmint myself!"
Needless to say, your death here just increased from "Likely" to "Most defiantly."
-The shed is small with torn curtains and the Apple family provided you with a large washtub (for bathing and laundry) and a spare cot, but since you have the Inventory for storage, it'll do as you fix up the shed with your sewing and patching tools.
After that (mostly) lovely supper you decide to go to your new home. You see it's a small shed and inside the Apples have provided you with a big washtub, a lantern, and a spare cot with some torn curtains. After some quick patching, you decided to hit the hay. You decided to keep your clothes on since now there's the chance of getting caught. As you lay on the bed, you write to the Doctor...
Report #2 Yo Doc! First of all I met one of your old companions. Well I think I did. Her name's Granny Smith, she's a nice old mare. I'm actually working on her farm now. Also, something weird happened. I saw this poster that said "The Nightmare Comes". But when I blinked, it vanished! I hope you can investigate this... Night
ON THE TARDIS
Doctor: Ah yes, Ms. Smith, she was always one of my favorites Derpy: Wait, Granny Smith was one of your companions? Oh please tell me you didn't do anything with her, because I'll never get that image out of my head Doctor: What...(blushing) no no, nothing like that, we were just friends. See (Pulls out photo of a different incarnation with Granny Smith in her prime wrapping her hooves around his neck and facing the camera Derpy: aaannnddd...yup, that image is now stuck in my head, thanks for that (walks away) Doctor: Oh come on!
"Ah yes, Ms. Smith, she was always one of my favorites." the Doctor says in reminiscence.
"Wait, Granny Smith was one of your companions? Oh please tell me you didn't do anything with her, because I'll never get that image out of my head." Derpy says,
"What... no no, nothing like that, we were just friends. See?"
The Doctor quickly pulls out photo of a different incarnation with Granny Smith in her prime wrapping her hooves around his neck and facing the camera. Derpy blinks blanky before saying,
"Yup, that image is now stuck in my head. I have to go check on Dinky now."
With that, she walks away causing the Doctor to say,
"Wait, Derpy!"
The Doctor runs after Derpy, not noticing the part about the 'The Nightmare Comes' pop up on the psychic paper. Until it's too late, as it vanishes...
BACK WITH YOU
With that done, you lie down on the cot and go to sleep... and you have a very weird dream...
Through certain circumstances find yourself weilding a fire spell running in Sweet apple acres screaming: RAZE THIS BARN! or ya know... It could be a dream sequence
I also second at least one instance of 'Raze' this barn.
I third the motion for a "Raze this barn" moment.
Raze this barn song: I picture Bugze taking a makeshift flamethrower (that his grandbuggy taught him to make) and flaming the barn while singing! Raze this barn, raze this barn, one two three four. Together we can raze this barn, one two three four. Come on up, young and old. Together burn it bright and bold.
DREAM WORLD
You suddenly dream that you're laughing like a maniac and you start to use a flamethrower on... the Apple's farm! Suddenly this starts to play, but more demonic and a bit warped. You then start sing evilly...
"Raze this farm, raze this farm! One, two, three, four Absolutely, I will raze this farm! One, two, three, four"
You start to throw Molotov's that you didn't even know you had like a flowerfilly at a wedding as you continue to sing...
"Up, up, up, go the flames Blow up those joints, break the frames Burn 'em round now till they're filled with woe Grab a new fuel tank, here we go!"
The Apple family that you know of all scream,
"NOOOO!"
"Come on, Apple family! Let's put it out! NOW!!!!" The hick shouts as they then try to put out the flames, but nothing works. You continue to light up the place as you continue,
"Raze this farm, raze this farm! One, two, three, four Absolutely, I will raze this farm! One, two, three, four"
You then use Psycho Crusher to break down some support beams while somehow continuing to sing,
"Feeding the flames, burning all the wood Smashing stuff. I'm doin' good! Laughing as the fillyfooler hick cries As her home burns to the skies!"
Applejack then charges at you in angry tears while shouting,
"Die ya bucking varmint!"
You quickly whirl around and blast her point blank in the face with a rocket launcher, sending her flying into a shack and causing it to explode in a fireball,
"Raze this farm, raze this farm! One, two, three, four Come on up, young and old. Together burn it bright and bold."
You reload the rocket launcher and continue to fire it causing more destruction,
"Slats of wood fall to the ground Set 'em up and blow 'em down! Got that barn in my cross-hairs, you know Let loose the rocket, watch it glow!"
You fire a rocket at the barn which causes it to explode in a fireball, and all the apple family again shout,
"NOOOO!"
Applebloom, Big Red, and Granny Smith say one after the other,
"What have you done!
Look at this, our home is gone."
"All thanks to that no-good moron."
"I just don't know what to say."
They the all say at the same time
"We have no home now anyway."
You then duct tape the rocket launcher to the flamethrower and are about to fire it at the remaining Apples as you sing,
"Reload my weapons, strafe to the right Get the targets in your sights Blasting back and all around That farm's gonna burn right to the groun-"
REAL WORLD
The Apples convince you to let Nightshade go to school so when you wake up the next day you go to "Barnyard Bargins" on your lunch break and buy school supplies (pencils and notebook folder) and even a purple vest for Nightshade so she can hide her wings (seeing how Barnyard Bargins is the mlp equivalent of Wal-Mart, the prices are cheap but the employees are constantly grumbling about the low pay and lack of benefits. Makes you glad you didn't apply there)
"AHHHHH!"
You wake up just before the song ends breathing heavily and the only thing you can say is,
"Is it just me, or is that time I was set on fire and went insane and chased everyling might have made a lasting effect on me..."
You shake your head as you check the time to see that it's almost time for Nightshade to go to school... and you realize you haven't bought any school supplies yet! You start to panic as you say,
"Oh Luna! I need to get to Barnyard Bargins!"
With that you jump out of bed,
"GAH!"
And fall flat on your face from muscle soreness from all that work and training the day before.
"And maybe some cherry juice for my aching muscles..." you mutter.
AN HOUR LATER OUTSIDE THE SCHOOL
You smile with fatherly pride as Nightshade starts to walk towards the school doors with her new purple vest covering her wings (there was a sale on school supplies, but you had to spend the 20 bits you earned yesterday and gave some to Nightshade so now you're down to 40 bits). She looks back over to you and waves while shouting,
"Bye Daddy!"
You smile and wave back as you say
"Bye Sweetie!"
With that you walk back to Sweet Apple Acres to get to work.
POV change: Nightshade!
This is it, my first day at school! I can do this! I'm gonna make my daddy proud! But first...
Nightshade quickly looks in her new saddlebag,
Nightshade's Saddlebag Inventory: -2 Apples -1 Jar of Peanut Butter -2 Boxes of Whole Wheat crackers -1 Bottle of water -Notebook folder -4 Pencils -5 Bits
Seeing that everything is in order, she opens the door to her first day of school.
What does Nightshade do?
[FIXED] Episode 18: Koko demo nani... Soshite ferō Neighponese supīkā o iu! (Say What Again...And A Fellow Neighponese Speaker!)
Nightshade enters the classroom filled with multiple students. Some are idly chatting with one another or getting out their supplies for class. She sees the teacher, Mrs.Cheerilee, at her desk looking over what must be the lesson plan for today. She decides to talk with her first.
OK Night Shade, this day is going to be wonderful, but first, you have to have to go through the mental checklist your dad gave you. 1. Don't out your daddy as the Hooded Offender or a Changeling 2. No talking about the shenanigans you've both been through 3. Be nice and respectful to the teacher 4. Don't eat anypony's lunch but your own 5. STAY AWAY FROM COLTS!!! (You wonder why he growled that last one in anger) 6. Have fun.
As Nightshade walks into the schoolhouse, she begins to list off all the things her daddy told her just before he dropped her off,
Let's see, what did Daddy tell me again... oh yeah! 1. Don't out Daddy as the Hooded Offender or a Changeling... I wonder why though, he's really nice, and he's my super nice awesome Daddy! 2. No talking about the super cool adventures we've both been through, but I really wished I could tell my fellow Cutie Mark Crusaders... 3. Be nice and respectful to the teacher. 4. Don't eat anypony's lunch but your own *whine* 5. STAY AWAY FROM COLTS!!!... I wonder why though?
Nightshade sees Miss Cheerliee and walks over to her,
Nightshade stands in the front of the classroom as Ms. Cheerilee introduces her. "Good morning, my little ponies! We have a new student today, and she's just moved her from Appleloosa. Please welcome Nightshade!" Nightshade smiles and waves. The CMC whoop and cheer, and the rest of the class claps politely. Except one. Diamond Tiara scoffs. "With that vest, it's more like... NightSHAME." Cheerilee stamps a hoof. "Diamond Tiara, we've gone over this. I will not tolerate-" "Excuse me," Nightshade says, "what did she do?" "She... um, Nightshade, she just insulted you. It's a bad habit of hers, and-" "That wasn't an insult." Nightshade grins at Diamond Tiara. "Was it, you little **** licking &$#%? You look like bubblegum, but I bet you're the one that likes to !@#$." The class gasps. Cheerilee is horrified. "Nightshade! We don't say those things in school!" "But I was just teaching her what an insult was." "Never again, young lady!" "But I have so many more!"
Nightshade stands in the front of the classroom as Ms. Cheerilee introduces her,
"Good morning, my little ponies! We have a new student today, and she's just moved her from Appleloosa. Please welcome Nightshade!"
Nightshade smiles and waves, the CMC whoop and cheer, and the rest of the class claps politely. Except one.
"With that vest, it's more like... NightSHAME." Diamond Tiara scoffs.
Cheerilee stamps a hoof and reprimands,
"Diamond Tiara, we've gone over this several times! I will not tolerate-"
"Excuse me," Nightshade interrupts, "what did she do?"
Cheerilee replies in concern,
"She... um, Nightshade, she just insulted you. It's a bad habit of hers, and-"
"That's what it was? That wasn't an insult..." Nightshade grins at Diamond Tiara before continuing, "Was it, you little bullspit-licking motherbucker? Now shut that c*** mouth of yours or I'll come over there and buckstart your head!"
The class gasps in shock and Diamond looks like a Hydra just roared in her face as Cheerilee is horrified.
"Nightshade! We don't say those things in school!"
"But I was just teaching her what an insult was!"
"Never again, young lady!"
"But I have so many more!"
"Enough! To your seat, now!" Cheerille commands, pointing a hoof sternly at your desk.
You find your three friends Applebloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle, and they take you through the basics. Basically what your dad said, except the no colts thing, even they don't understand that one, and they add a new one. Watch out for two fillies named Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. Apparently they're mean.
Remembering #3 of what her daddy told her, Nightshade grumbles under her breath as she makes her way to the desk, but cheers up when she sees that she's seated next to Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle.
Score! Nightshade thinks as the CMC look happy at this placement as well. While Miss Cheerilee briefly reviews something from last week, Nightshade (figuring that since she wasn't there yet, it doesn't apply to her) leans over and whispers,
"Hey. Who was that foal?"
Applebloom whispers back,
"That thar is Diamond Tiara. She's a spoiled brat who's father owns Barnyard Bargins and the gray filly next to her is Silver Spoon, her friend. They keep making fun of us for not having Cutie Marks."
"Those motherbuckers-"
"Oh, and ya'll may want to cool it on the swearing." Applebloom quickly interrupts "Sweetie Belle said that her sister washed her mouth out with soap before grounding her with no dessert for a week!"
"NO DESSERT FOR A WEEK?! THAT'S TERRIBLE!!!" Nightshade screams, grabbing the attention of everypony in the room.
"Is there anything else you want to say, Nightshade? And without swearing?" Cheerilee asks in annoyance.
"Uh... Nothing Miss Cheerilee" Nightshade says sheepishly before Cheerilee...
Once you've been introduced to the class, and scolded for trying to help a pony learn insults, Cheeriliee points you to your desk; it's right next to your new friends the Crusaders! Score! They're quite happy about this as well as you take your seat next to them. Then you notice the teacher grab some papers from her desk, and how everypony else gets nervous as she does. "Alright class, time for a quiz!" Cheeriliee sing-songs, and the whole class groans, some letting their heads flop to their desks. "Man, ah hate these stupid things." you hear Apple Bloom complain from your right as a piece of paper gets passed to you, a mess off numbers and marks all over the front. "Alright kids, we have about twenty minutes to finish, good luck!" Cheeriliee moves behind her desk and starts grading papers. You pull out a pencil and look at your paper... and look at it... and keep staring, but darn it it's not making any kind of sense! But you don't want to fall behind, so you raise your hoof in the air; that's what you do when you have a question, it's what your daddy told you. But the teacher doesn't notice as she face-hoofs over one students homework. Looking around you see Scootaloo on your left, lazily looking out a window. You prod her with a hoof. "Huh? What's up Nightshade?" she snaps out of her daydream. "What's this thingy mean?" you point at the thought defying obstacle on your paper. "That's a plus sign, it means add the two numbers together." Eureka! It suddenly so clear to you! With your newfound knowledge of addition you quickly blaze through the first four questions. But wait... What in the flying Tartarus is that?! Prodding your guide once again as she finally starts to look at her own quiz, you point to the new conundrum and pray for her to aid you. "That's a multiplication sign. You take one of the numbers and increase it by itself the number of times as the second number." she explains "It's really hard. And we're supposed to add in letters next year! Why did anypony think that was a good idea?" she adds glumly. You stare at her in horror at this news. "Is it time for lunch yet?" You ask hopefully. Scootaloo just turns away and mumbles "I wish it was Shady, I wish it was."
Grabs some papers from her desk which causes everypony else in the room to get nervous,
"Alright class, time for a math quiz!" Cheeriliee sing-songs which induces groans from the whole class, some letting their heads flop to their desks.
"Man, ah hate these stupid things." Apple Bloom complains as paper get passed to everypony in the room. Nightshade looks at her paper to see... a mess of numbers and marks all over the front.
"Alright kids, you have the usual amount of time to finish, good luck!" Cheeriliee says before moving behind her desk to starts grading papers.
Nightshade pulls out a pencil and looks at her paper... and looks at it... and keeps staring, but darn, it's still not making any kind of sense! Not wanting to fall behind, Nightshade raises her hoof in the air as she looks around alertly.
Daddy said that if I have a question, I should raise my hoof... but watch out for spitballs, thrown textbooks, or stabbing attempts.
But the teacher doesn't notice as she face-hoofs over one student's homework. Looking around Nightshade sees Scootaloo lazily looking out a window. Nightshade prods Scootaloo with her hoof, snapping the orange Pegasus out of her daydream as she whispers,
"Huh? What's up Nightshade?"
"What's this thingy mean?" Nightshade asks as she points at the thought-defying obstacle on her paper.
"That's a plus sign, it means add the two numbers together." Scootaloo responds
Eureka! It suddenly so clear! With Nightshade's newfound knowledge of addition she quickly blazes through the first four questions.
But wait... What in the flying Tartarus is that?! Nightshade asks while prodding Scootaloo again as she finally starts to look at her own quiz. Nightshade points to the new conundrum and prays for Scootaloo to aid her.
"That's a multiplication sign. You take one of the numbers and increase it by itself the number of times as the second number." she explains "It's really hard. And we're supposed to learn fractions next year! Why did anypony think that was a good idea?" she adds glumly.
Nightshade stares at her in horror at this news.
"Is it time for lunch yet?" She asks hopefully.
Scootaloo just turns away and mumbles "I wish it was Shady, I wish it was..."
ONE QUIZ LATER
[insert comedic scenario here] + [insert slowmotion scene of awsome here] x [insert conflict here] + [insert tragedy here] + time = comment. Wait, thats the formula of a Michael Bay movie.... Screw it have her write "comedy= tragedy + time" when cheer-i-dunno-how-to-spell-her-name ask for an example of a mathmatical formula.
Cheerilee goes over basic subjects like math and shapes, but given that Nightshade was home-schooled by Bugze (who we've already established as not that bright), she doesn't do too well...
"Alright class, pencils down."
Quite a few students (especially Nightshade who barely manages to stop herself from exclaiming "Buck!") groan before she continues.
"Now can somepony give me an example of a formula?"
Nightshade's hoof shoots straight up as she excitedly says,
"Oh, oh, I know! Talented actors - emotion + pretentious writing + cheap last minute twist x extremely slow pacing = terrible movie!"
"Um... Nightshade, that's not an actual mathematical formula."
"Really? Daddy always says that that's the formula for all of M Night Shymalamadingdong's movies."
Nightshade's comment causes the class to break out in laughter (even Miss Cheerilee tries to hold back her laughter as she comments, "So true..."), but before Cheerilee could respond, the bell rings for recess/lunch and everypony runs out of the Schoolhouse while putting their quizzes on Cheerilee's desk on the way out. Because Nightshade was the last one out, her quiz was on top of the stack,
"Let's see how well B.S. did on her daughter's home-school-"
Her jaw drops when she sees Nightshade's "work" and she worriedly says,
"Oh dear..."
At recess, a gray pegasus colt with a black mane and tail (Rumble) flies to the top of the jungle gym and declares himself king of the playground. There's a mad scramble of colts and fillies that charge up to dethrone him, but they're all to busy fighting and knocking each other off. Nightshade is the only one to make it to the top. "Not bad," Rumble says, impressed with her skills. "But there only room for one up top, and I'm faster than you are!" Nightshade winks at him. "My daddy's a great fighter, and I've picked up a few things watching him. I even modified one of his moves. FALCON KICK!" She launches forward in a fiery blaze, and covers the distance in an instant. Her hoof slams into Rumble and knocks him off the top. He flaps his wings and recovers just before he hits the ground. Nightshade soaks in the "oohs" and "aahs" from the crowd below, even from Rumble. She rears up and balances on her hind legs, spreading her front hooves to her sides. "Made it, Ma! Top of the world!"
As Nightshade walks out into the playground, a gray pegasus colt with a black mane and tail flies to the top of the jungle gym and declares,
Suddenly, there's a mad scramble of colts and fillies that charge up to dethrone him, but they're all too busy fighting and knocking each other off. Using parkour skills learned by watching her father, Nightshade climbs, swings, and maneuvers around the the other foals and lands near the top of the gym with a flip.
"Not bad," The pegasus colt says, impressed with her skills. "But there's only room for one up top, and I'm faster than you are!"
Nightshade smirks at him and says,
"Well my daddy's a great fighter, and I've picked up a few things watching him. I even modified one of his moves. FALCON KICK!" With that, she launches forward in a fiery blaze and covers the distance in an instant. Her hoof slams into the colt's chest and knocks him off the top, sending him tumbling before he manages to flap his wings and recover at the last minute before hitting the ground. Nightshade soaks in the "oohs" and "aahs" from the crowd below (even from the pegasus colt) as she rears up and balances on her hind legs, spreads her front hooves to her sides, and declares,
You're in the middle of Falcon Punching an apple tree when you hear a dark whisper,
I feel motherly pride for some reason...
"Why do you keep thinking that you-"*THWACK* "Owwwww."
Unfortunately, the DFV distracted you long enough for a branch of the apple tree to fall on your head.
BACK TO THE PLAYGROUND
After some more cheering from the class Nightshade hears Scootaloo cheer,
"That. Was. Awesome!"
"Do you want to eat lunch with us?" Sweetie Belle asks.
Nightshade's eyes light up at the words "eat" and "lunch" and jumps off the jungle gym (accidentally landing on a gold-coated unicorn colt with aquamarine hair) before zipping over to the table where her friends are at.
At lunch, you eat all of your food supplies and are still hungry, but you promised daddy you wouldn't eat anyone else's (sigh) Also, you and the CMC have an awesome conversation. Applebloom: So Night Shade, what ya gonna be for Nightmare Night? You: What's Nightmare Night? The CMC's Jaws' drop at that Sweetie Belle: How do you not know what Nightmare Night is? Scootaloo: It's only like, the greatest day ever besides Hearth's Warming Eve You: Oh, well we don't have it in Appleloosa I guess Applebloom: Well that's a shame, my cousin's town needs to get their priorities straight They all nod at that You: So....what exactly is it? Scootaloo: We all dress up in costumes and go door to door and get free candy! (excitedly) You: (Your eyes dilate) Free...Candy! Sweetie Belle: Yup, and we also can play pranks and scare others or get scared ourselves! Applebloom: And then we get to go to the fair at night and play all kinds of games You: Dear Sweet Luna, why have I gone my whole life without knowing this?! Applebloom: I don't know, but now that you do know, we gotta try and figure out what we're gonna wear Sweetie Belle: Ya, my sister is going to make us some costumes, and she kind of wants to know now sooner than later Applebloom: Ya, we want to do a group costume this year, you included. Scootaloo: I keep telling you guys, we should go as WonderBolts Applebloom: You're the only one with wings Scootaloo, it wouldn't work for us You: Heh heh, ya...(you shift your vest slightly) Scootaloo: Fine...You got any idea Night Shade? You: Hmm...Can it be anything? Sweetie: mmhmm, anything you want, from harmless to scary You: Scary huh? The only scary movies you ever got to see were old black and white ones at Appleloosa, the classics as they call them here. Yeesh that place needs to get with the times. Yet there were some gems in there. You : Why don't we go as the Universal Monsters? Sweetie: Ooo, the classics. Scootaloo: That's not a bad idea Applebloom: Great Idea Night Shade You smile as they start to call out Applebloom: I call Bride of Manekenstein!Sweetie: I want to be DraculaScootaloo: Dibs on the Wolf Pony Night Shade: Then I'll be a Mummy! This is gonna be so fun You all bump hooves and yell CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS UNIVERSAL MONSTERS YAY!!!
Nightshade takes out her lunch from her saddlebag before proceeding to wolf down the apples, spit out the cores, tear open the boxes of crackers, and rapidly dip the crackers in the peanut butter before machine-gun shoving them into her mouth. The CMC notice this and comment,
"Woah..."
"Holy mother of awesome..."
"Sweet Apples..."
"What...? (*chugs down water bottle in one go*) It's just a light lunch."
I'm still hungry, but I promised Daddy I wouldn't eat anypony's lunch.*Sigh*
Before Nightshade could dwell on her predicament, Applebloom asks,
"So Nightshade, what ya gonna be for Nightmare Night?"
"What's Nightmare Night?"
The CMC's jaws drop at that and Sweetie Belle says,
"How do you not know what Nightmare Night is?"
"It's only like, the greatest day ever besides Hearth's Warming Eve!" Scootaloo adds,
"Oh, well we don't have it in Appleloosa I guess."
"Well that's a shame, my cousin's town needs to get their priorities straight." Applebloom says as she and the other two CMC nod their heads at that
"So... what exactly is it?" Nightshade asks causing Scootallo to excitedly respond,
"We all dress up in costumes and go door to door and get free candy!"
Nightshade's eyes dilate as she says, "Muryō... Kyandi!"
Nightshade's eyes go back to normal when she notices the odd looks the CMC are giving her and she says,
"Oh, it's Neighponese for 'free candy'."
"Ohhhhhhh." The CMC all say in understanding.
"As we were saying," Sweetie Belle continues "we also can play pranks and scare others or get scared ourselves!"
"And then we get to go to the fair at night and play all kinds of games." Applebloom says,
"Dear Sweet Luna, why have I gone my whole life without knowing this?!" Nightshade says
"I don't know, but now that ya do know, we gotta try and figure out what we're gonna wear."
"Yeah! My sister is going to make us some costumes, and she kind of wants to know now sooner than later."
"Ya, we wan'ta do a group costume this year, you included."
"I keep telling you guys, we should go as WonderBolts!"
"You're the only one with wings Scootaloo, it wouldn't work for us." Applebloom retorts causing Nightshade to chuckle nervously as she slightly shifts her vest.
"Fine... You got any idea Nightshade?" Scootaloo asks her.
"Hmm...Can it be anything?"
"Mmhmm, anything you want, from harmless to scary." Sweetie Belle says,
"Scary huh?"
The only scary movies Nightshade ever got to see were old black and white ones at Appleloosa, the classics as they call them here. Bugze would frequently complain that "this place needs to hurry up and get with the gorram times", yet there were some gems in there...
"Why don't we go as the Universal Monsters?" Nightshade suggests,
"Ooo, the classics."
"That's not a bad idea."
"Great Idea Nightshade!"
Nightshade blushes and smiles at the compliments as they start to call out,
Applebloom: "I call Bride of Manekenstein!"
Sweetie: "I want to be Dracula!"
Scootaloo: "Dibs on the Wolf Mare!"
"Then I'll be a Mummy! This is gonna be so fun!" Nightshade says,
The fillies all bump hooves and yell,
"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS UNIVERSAL MONSTERS YAY!!!"
"Awww... Isn't that just adorably pathetic."
Hangs out with CMC and pranks Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon after they pick on the CMC. Time to quote/paraphrase Coltablanca: “Of all the playgrounds, in all the schools, in all the world, they walk into ours…” Or Tarantino: -"Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie, or are you gonna bite?" -"I'm curious, what makes you such a [] expert?" Nightshade: "I'm curious what makes you so curious." -Nightshade: "DumbflankSayWhat?" Tiara: "What?" Nightshade: "What" ain't no country I ever heard of! They speak Equestrian in "What"!? Tiara: "What?" Nightshade: Equestrian, motherbucker! Do you speak it!? Tiara: "Wha-what I—? Nightshade: "Say "what" again! SAY "what" again! I dare you! I double-dare you, motherbucker! Say "what" one more gorram time!
She has to do the "Say what again" skit. That would be so awesome
All four fillies turn to see Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon giggling arrogantly,
“Of all the playgrounds, in all the schools, in all the world, they walk into ours…” Nightshade mutters.
"Well well well, if it isn't the Blankflank patrol" Diamond Tiara taunts
"Yeah, and it looks like they have a new member" Silver Spoon adds in
"Oh yes, the Vest wearing tragedy"
"Heh, don't you know that vest went out last season?"
"It's actually one of my old worthless vests. It even still has that tear from where my Sugar Glider nibbled on it."
"Yeah. And it's still nowhere near as dirty as her mouth."
"Your daddy should wash your tongue out with-"
"DumbflankSayWhat?" Nightshade quickly says,
"What?" Diamond Tiara reflexively asks,
"'What' ain't no country I ever heard of! They speak Equestrian in 'What'!?"
"What?" Silver Spoon asks,
"Equestrian, motherbucker! Do you speak it!?" Nightshade says as she closes in on the two spoiled brats.
"Wha-what I-?" Diamond and Silver both stammer before Nightshade interrupts them,
"Say 'what' again! SAY 'what' again! I dare you! I double-dare you, motherbucker! Say 'what' one more gorram time!" Nightshade declares, now right in their faces.
Both fillies both turn around and run away in embarrassment before the CMC say one after another,
"That." "Was." "AWESOME!"
They all high-hoof Nightshade.
*RING*
But the bell signaling the end of break goes off causing everpony to go back to class. On the way back to class...
During recess/lunchtime, accidentally bump into a brown colt with a caramel mane who seems to be wearing a propeller cap. Then proceed to converse with said colt in Neighponese (who, surprisingly, is fluent in the language himself). Despite the looks you're both getting from the uninformed fillies and colts around you, you and the colt calling himself 'Button' discuss the finer points of video games, film and popular culture.
Establish a relation with the one they call 'Button' through the language of Anime.
Nightshade should be careful not to let her wings be shown. That, and she totally gets off on the wrong hoof with Diamond Tiara and puts a pinecone on her chair as payback.
Nightshade bumps into a caramel-maned earth pony colt wearing a red and white beanie with a green propeller who says,
"Excuse me. Kon'nichiwa watashinonamaeha botan no masshudesu" (Excuse me. Hi my name is Button Mash)
"Sugoi hakuryoku! Anata mo Neighponese o hanasu?!" (Woah! You speak Neighponese too?!)
Nightshade and Button Mash continue to converse in Neighponese as they walk back to their seats,
"Un! Watashi wa ken ātoonrain no taba o mite kara mananda." (Yep! I learned from watching alot of anime and playing a bunch of NRPGs.)
"Hontōni? Watashi wa, kono zonbi no yōna anime no komedi o mitekara mananda? Soshite watashi no hanayome wa māmeidodesu" (Really? I learned from watching anime comedies like Is This a Zombie? and My Bride Is a Mermaid.)
"Hahaha! Watashi wa koko de, ano shīn, kare o oboete iru..." (Hahaha! I remember that one scene where he...)
The rest of the class look at Nightshade and Button Mash in mixtures of confusion and amazement as they continue to converse in Neighponese. Cheerlie is impressed some more from there so long conversion in a different language and gives them extra credit. Diamond complains and ends up sitting on a pine-cone that was conveniently in her seat. Nightshade looks away innocently, but Diamond just gives her the stink eye.
BACK ON THE FARM
Bugzy is sitting on the porch after his intense work... Granny Smith and him are sitting on the porch. You say "ssssoooooo this colt friend, what was his name I might know... My family being a bunch of fixers after all" he adds quickly. "His name was Quick fix." She says calmly knitting a blanket. 'That was Grand Buggy's code name... so there's no douting it... my Grandbuggy taped that. He starts to turn green... "Yeah... I knew him..." "Really? What happened to him." She looks... happy? "To be honest I haven't seen him after the fail- the attack on Canterlot." "Oh..." She says sadly "You sound sad..." He says worriedly. "It just... he and I were gonna get married a long time ago..." His eyes widen... "I didn't know..." "He just went into the everfree and never came out... I though he was dead..." "..."
Granny Smith mentions that Grandbuggy and his Bowler hat just disappeared one day and comments that she must have went on a really hard Apple Pie a la mode binge as she gained a whole lotta weight and didn't lose it till 11 months later...
You're currently sitting on the porch patching Granny Smith's rocking chair as she knits nearby. You say, "Ssssoooooo this colt friend, what was his name and what did he look like? I might know... My family being a bunch of patchers after all" you add quickly. "His name was Quick Fix." She says calmly knitting a blanket. "He was an Earth Pony with a mustache, a bowler hat, and a duct tape Cutie Mark on flanks you can bounce a hoof full of bits off of of it. He also always walked around wearing a black leather jacket."
That was one of Grandbuggy's code names and I can't remember ever seeing him without his bowler hat... so there's no doubting it... my Grandbuggy taped that. You start to turn green before you force it down and manage to say,
"Yeah... I knew him..."
"Really? What happened to him?!" Granny Smith asks him excitedly,
"To be honest, I haven't seen him in a long time..."
"Oh..." She says sadly
"You sound sad..." You say worriedly.
"It just... he and I were gonna get married a long time ago..."
Your eyes widen... "I didn't know..."
"He just went into the everfree one day and never came out... I though he was dead..."
"..."
"I musta went on a hard apple ice cream binge cause I gained a whole lotta weight and didn't lose it til 11 months later..."
You both sit there in silence for some time. Finally, you got up and made yout way over to hug Granny Smith who returns the hug. When you break the hug you ask,
"Did we just bond?"
"Yeah... and if you tell my grandkids I got all upset over some runaway colt-friend i'll skin ya alive!"
"Don't worry, you have my word!"
A soft smile fell onto her face and she said,
"Good now GIT you should pick up your daughter."
You smile as you walk towards the schoolhouse and think,
Eleven months? Isn't that how long a mare is pregnant for? And when a changeling impregnates or even gets impregnated by a non-changeling, then by the Hive laws he or she would need to retrieve the baby using either a memory spell or more... extreme witness-removing measures...
You gulp as you remember the horror stories changelings told regarding half-changeling babies as you continue,
Wait... If my mother was Grandbuggy's only child, and if he impregnated Granny Smith before snatching the foal, then that means... I'm part Earth Pony!
You stop in shock at this revelation, but after a few moments of rebooting, you continue on,
Well, being part-Earth Pony would explain my orange mane and my higher-than-average durability. But, if Granny Smith is my grandmother, then that would mean Applejack is my... cuzzzzz...
When that realization hits you like a sledgehammer to the nuts, you run all the way to your daughter's school saying,
When Bugze picks up Nightshade, Cheerilee complains about Nightshade's language, behavior, and poor schoolwork, but you accuse her of being prejudiced against Appleloosans and then bail while the schoolteacher is stammering defensively. As you leave, comment to Nightshade that you were never exactly a model student yourself.
When you reach the schoolhouse, Nightshade spots you and excitedly yells, "DADDY!" before running straight into your chest. Miss Cheerilee then comes up to you and asks,
"Uh, mister Tennant?"
"Yes?"
"You see there's a problem..."
"Oh no... Please tell me I don't need to sign any documents stating that I need to keep Nightshade a mile away from somepony."
Cheerilee gives a weird look as she says,
"No...that's not it."
"Oh Luna, did she set somepony on fire? Please tell me it was at least the fillyfooler!"
"Calm down Mr. Tennant! You see, Nightshade's basic math skills are... less than stellar and she said some very... detailed, as she called them, insults."
"We talking bodily insults or emotional insults?"
"Both"
"Oh um... LOOK A FIGHT IN THE PLAYGROUND!" you shout as you point a hoof behind Cheerilee.
When she turns around, you grab Nightshade and run. When you're both far enough away, you both start to walk home as Nightshade tells you about her day. She tells you about her difficulty with "quizzes" ("Don't worry sweetie. I was never exactly a model student myself"), how she cursed out the bullies ("That's my girl"), Falcon Kicking a pegasus colt to become "Queen of the Playground" ("Nice move, I might need you to teach me that one day, but you should find out that colt's name and apologize to him. As a famous super said "With great power comes great responsibility".), meeting Button Mash, ("I would like to meet this colt some day...*snap* you know, to get to know him better..."), and the CMC's plans for Nightmare Night,
"Awww, that'll be adorable, I need buy a camera just so I can take a picture of it. Maybe I should go as a Big Daddy from Bioshock... Nah, probably cost to much. I"ll probably go as the Hooded Offender."
"But Daddy, you are the-"
"Shhhh, that's our secret, honey."
When Bugze picks up Nightshade, she comments that you really need a bath. You both run into a hippie Earth Pony who frequently puts "like" into every other sentence and looks stoned off his flank selling all-natural cosmetic supplies and you see that one of their products is "Goops for Stuff: Milk and Honey Bath Soak". Ignoring your grandbuggy's advice to "Slap/maim hippies on sight", you and Nightshade find the bath soak smells heavenly and it's only 4 bits a bottle (bubble bath soap at Barnyard Bargins was 12 bits a bottle) so you buy three. -Reference to the My Little Pony Micro-Series Issue #3 comic
"*sniff* Daddy, you stink."
"Oh, I don''t smell that ba- *sniff* Whoa!"
Considering that you've haven't had a bath since Appleloosa, you've spent most of your time doing alot of fighting and running, and the fact that you're performing hours of manual labor outside in heavy clothing, you worked up quite a bit of stink. Coincidentally, you both come across an orange-yellow hippie Earth Pony who looks stoned off his flank selling selling all-natural cosmetic supplies. You get another grandbuggy flashback,
Now *&^@, if you ever you see a Hippie, SLAP THAT LAZY BUM ON SIGHT AND KEEP SLAPPING TILL HE GETS A HAIRCUT AND A REAL JOB!!! Now could you get me a shovel? I hear drum circles...
Deciding to ignore your Grandbuggy's advice this time, you look over his products and see that the "Goops for Stuff: Milk and Honey Bath Soak" is only 4 bits a jar (a bottle of bubble bath costs 12 bits a bottle at Barnyard Bargins), so you buy three.
3 Jars of 'Goops for Stuff: Milk and Honey Bath Soak' added to The Inventory
When you arrive back at the farm, you manage to convince Nightshade to go to bed in the Inventory (you owe her 5 Cherry-changas this time...) before getting back to work. After a supper of soup and biscuits with the Apples, you go back to your shed, take a bath in the washtub with your new bath soak (the bath is heaven and one bath only uses up 1/6 of a jar), and hit the hay.
THE NEXT DAY
*CLANG CLANG CLANG*
"Rise and Shine Mister Tennant! It's cider season!" Applejack shouts as she bangs pots together,
You dive out of the bed and scream,
"AHHHH! LunaBucker9001 IS USING THE 'ALICORN STRIKE' KILLSTREAK! SACRIFICE THE NOOBS BEFOR..."
After looking around and realizing that you aren't playing one of the Battlefield: Call of Honor video games, you calm down and say sheepishly,
"Um... I mean I'll be ready soon!"
"What ever you say Sugarcu-Ah mean Mister Tennant." Applejack says before leaving with what you swore was a slight blush on her face. You look at the door questionably, but shrug as you think,
As the door closes you begin to contemplate hings. If Granny Smith your grandmother and Applejack is your cousin, then that information could be useful in the future, life saving probably. You also realized something shocking, frightening even. Where are all the other changeling? Sure there might be fewer roaming around in equestria after the invasion, but still you would've ran into someling by now. You decide that worrying about that now would ruin your day. They're fine....probably.
Fortunately, that bath from last night was absolutely invigorating
As Applejack leaves, you begin to contemplate things in your shed,
If Granny Smith is my grandmother, and Applejack is my cousin, then I could possibly use that info some day. Wait a minute...
You then get a sudden realization,
Where are all the other changelings? Sure, there may be fewer of us now thanks to the failed invasion, but with how often the Queen used to send us on missions, you think I would've ran into someling by now... Eh, they're fine... Probably... Maybe... Ah who am I kidding? With the way my ex-queen has been leading lately I'm surprised she hasn't blown up the-wait... Grandbuggy already blew that up...
With a shake of your head you walk out of the shed towards the house. Normally, you'd be groggy and sleepy at such an early hour, but that bath from last night was just so positively invigorating that you feel ready to seize the day. You spot Applejack waiting for you by the door...
As you awake, you go to the kitchen to take a little food when suddenly you hear a explotion. Both you and Applejack run to the kitchen just to find smoke and in the middle of the kitchen, Nightshade and Apple Bloom "IM sorry daddy, I was thinking in making you a little of juice with the help of Apple Bloom, but suddenly it exploded" You look to Nightshade and Applejack look to Apple Bloom "Are you both okay? What exactly happened?" Ask Applejack to Apple Bloom "I don't know, It was like the incident with Sweetie Belle but worst" Say Apple Bloom You look to both sisters confused "Some unicorns have strange magic around them, and... long story short, is best that they don't try to cook" Explain Apple Bloom "It's only that they don't know to cook sugarcube, not too much" Say Applejack "But it's true... just think about that... Nightshade is a unicorn and Sweetie Belle is also a unicorn" Commented Apple Bloom "Well... Now that you say it... I never see Twilight cooking, from what I hear, almost everything is done by Spike" "So... Is she treating the dragon like a slave?" You can imagine the image of the poor little dragon, being forced to work by the evil unicorn but it dissappear as Applejack begin to talk "what? No! She treat him well, like a mother or a big sister" Comment Applejack "Are you sure? I mean... How much you see about them? Who knows how she could treat him" Say Bugzee "Well... No... But... I never suspect of one of my best friend, let's talk about other thing" Say Applejack And then the conversation begin to change to gossip about the lavender unicorn, and you force yourself to stay awake to see if maybe you win some info about the leader of the Evil Five
*BOOM*
"What the-!"
"Woah nelly!"
You both feel and hear an explosion from the kitchen. After getting over the initial shock, both you and Applejack run to the kitchen just to find smoke and in the middle of the kitchen, Nightshade and Apple Bloom. You look at your daughter in surprise and say,
"Nightshade! What are you doing out of bed!"
"I'm sorry daddy. I was trying to make you a little juice with the help of Apple Bloom, but suddenly it exploded!"
You look to Nightshade as Applejack looks at Apple Bloom and asks
"Y'all both okay? What exactly happened?"
"I don't know, It was like the incident with Sweetie Belle, but worse!" replies Apple Bloom.
You look to both sisters in confusion. Apple Bloom notices your confused look and explains,
"Some unicorns have strange magic around them, and... long story short, it's best that they don't try to cook."
"That's just a stereotype, sugarcube."
"But it's true, just think about that... Nightshade is a unicorn and Sweetie Belle is also a unicorn." Comments Apple Bloom as you and Nightshade lightly chuckle nervously.
"Well... Now that ya say it... I ain't never seen Twilight cooking, from what I hear, almost everything is done by Spike" Applejack contemplates.
"So... Is she treating the dragon like a slave?" you comment.
You suddenly imagine the image of the poor little dragon, being forced to work by the evil unicorn but it disappears as Applejack begin to talk,
"What? No! She treats him real well, like a mother or a big sister!"
"Are you sure? I mean... How often do you see them? Who knows how she treats him behind closed doors..." you accuse "Well... No... But... She's one of my best friends..."
She shakes her head clear of those doubts and says,
"Look, ya'll just go eat breakfast. Granny Smith and Big Mac already ate so they could set up the cider stand and me and Apple Bloom were waiting for you, before I decided to come over and wake ya."
Deciding to heed her advice, you, Nightshade, and the sisters go to the dining room table which had a big stack of apple pancakes and a pitcher of milk. Nightshade's eyes light up upon seeing the food and jumps onto the table before devouring the whole stack and chugs down the whole pitcher of milk. You facehoof as the Apple sisters stare blankly before Applejack says...
"I'm... Gonna git the leftover apple pie and apple juice from last supper..."
As she walks back into the kitchen, you give Nightshade a stern glare and scold,
"I think that's enough breakfast for you young lady."
Nightshade lowers her head in shame as Applejack comes back with 3/4 of a pie and a pitcher of apple juice. As you, Applejack, and Apple Bloom eat breakfast while Nightshade sits in a corner (you put her in time out), you ask,
Ask Applejack what Cider Season is and she explains it's when they sell their beloved cider and that good sales this year are very important as the cider sales will keep the farm afloat through the winter. When you ask about the sales of other Apple products, AJ replies that they put most of their efforts into the Grand Galloping Gala and we all know how that turned out (you cringe in guilt at that) -(Sweet Apple Acres cider is a non-alcoholic beverage that was always your "Special Occasion Drink" back in Appleloosa)
Applejack also mentions that somepony left a package for you and hoofs it over. You open the package to see another note accompanied by the 4th Doctor's scarf so you happily put it on around your lower face and comment that all you need now is a sonic screwdriver, but you decide to improvise by starting to use your vise-grips as if it were a sonic screwdriver: "We need to reverse the polarity of the neutron flow before the Cyperponies steal all the Fantastic jelly babies! Allons-y!" You snap out of it when you realize that Applejack is still there when she giggles at your nerdy display
"Hey Applejack, what is Cider Season?"
"It's when we sell our famous 'Sweet Apple Acres Cider' to all our neighbors."
Your mouth begins to water at that as you remember that not only is SAA Cider non-acholic, but it was always your "special occasion" beverage back in Appleloosa as Applejack continues,
"Cider sales are gonna keep our business afloat through the winter. We'd lose Sweet Apple Acres if the sales ain't coming through."
"Wait, what about all that cider you export and all those Apple products you sell throughout Equestria?"
"You have to remember sugarc- er, Mister Tennant, the Apple family is BIG and our kin supplies apple products to most of Equestria. We put most of our efforts into selling at the Grand Galloping Gala, but y'all what happened thar..." She says in an angry tone at that last part causing you to cringe in guilt.
"Oh that reminds me! Mister Tennant you got a package from a 'Friend'?" she says as she takes out a package and puts it in front of you. You look at the package with a confused look, and you carefully open the package as you think,
Please don't be a bomb, please don't be a bomb, please don't be a bomb...
You open it and begin to fan bug over what you see,
"Holy mother of Luna...."
Apple Bloom looks at you confused and asks,
"What is it?"
"It's the... it's the... it's the 4th Doctor's motherbucking scarf! The motherbucking scarf! Not a replica or a knock off, the actual motherbucking scarf. Oh I"m gonna- Huh?"
You stop fan-bugging over the scarf when you notice a Scarlet envelop in the package. You pick it up nervously, open it carefully, and begin to read,
Dear B.S Tennant,
You. Are. A. Bucking. Idiot. Let me get this straight. You gave up a life of peace to pay off a debt. Battled a god of chaos and almost died because of it. And now you're LIVING WITH THE ENEMY! How dumb can you possibly be! Ugh, whatever, get killed, not like I care... much. Fine! Here's the 4th's scarf, don't ask me where I got it, just take it. You better use it well, and remember. I will always be watching you, and saving your sorry butt. Cause you sure as Tartarus can't.
From, A Friend
Your eye twitches in annoyance as you think,
Great, now she... he... it... whatever, is back as well. I swear to Luna if Lighting Chaser pops up this week...
You quickly shove the letter into the Inventory before anyone can see it and put on the scarf before thinking,
Luna, the 10th's coat, the 7th's hat, the 6th's pants (okay... it may not be as cool as the others, but still), and now the 4th's scarf! If only I had a sonic screwdriver then this look would be complete, I would be all like-
You then jump out of your seat and take the vise-grips out of the Inventory before swinging it around like a sonic screwdriver,
"Allons-y! We need to reverse the polarity of the neutron flow before the Cyperponies steal all the Fantastic jelly babies! Geronim-!"
You snap out of it when you hear giggling and see the two fillies and one mare giggling at your nerdy display. You blush and put away the vise-grips in embarrassment before Applejack manages to stop giggling and says,
"Alright y'all, let's get ta work!"
As you and the Apple sisters leave the dining room (you made Nightshade clear the table), you think...
The world has it out for you. And yet, things are going well. Lady Luck must be scheming something along with Lady Fate and Mistress Karma. If the shock of a species built for lying somehow got born into a family that prides itself in honesty and the inevitable backlash from the wall of lies made to hide that fact doesn't reek of their handy work, then you don't know who! What's definitely certain in your life is that they'll make it slow and painful, and then make the killer Applejack for the sweet irony.
Huh... Normally the world has it out for me, but things are going really well... Which can only mean that Lady Luck must be scheming something along with Lady Fate and Mistress Karma. If the shock of a species built for lying somehow got born into a family that prides itself in honesty and the inevitable backlash from the wall of lies made to hide that fact doesn't reek of their handy work, then I don't know who! The only thing I know for certain is that whatever they have planned, it's gonna be slow and painfu-*trip*
Your thoughts are interrupted when you trip on your long new scarf and as you get back up you suddenly notice...
You realize why you're so tired, the sun isn't even out yet. You: Why are we up so early? Solar Flanks hasn't even done her job yet AJ: Well we gotta get set up right fast, the lines already a mile long You: Line? She points outside to the east and see a line of ponies in the early dark. There even appears to be a a number of tents, with a pink one in the front. You: Whoa, how did I miss that yesterday? AJ: I don't know, you ran right by them yesterday when you went to pick up your daughter Flashback to Yesterday You run past countless ponies sitting in chairs in front of tents Pinkie: Hey mister, you come to join the "Wait for Cider Season Camping Party?" You: NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE!!! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING! SHE CAN'T BE MY BLOOD!!!! CURSE YOU LADY LUCK! CURSE YOU DOCTOR, I BET YOU KNEW!!! AND CURSE YOU GRANDBUGGERY!!! WHY COULDN'T YOU KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS!!!! As you run away, Pinkie shakes her head and sighs Pinkie: Ah, another poor soul gone mad because the wait for cider was too much. Present You: Heh heh...ya.... AJ: Well anyway, get a move on, we don't want to be late, this here is an Apple Family Tradition, even if you ain't kin that is You: So far as you know (mumble) AJ: What? You: What? AJ: Sorry, thought you said something sugarcube As you walk with her, you can't help but feel weird since you both share a Grandmother so your own family has been trying to kill you this whole time.
That the sun isn't even out yet.
"Why are we up so early? Solar Flanks hasn't even done her job yet." you complain causing Applejack to respond,
"Well we gotta get set up right fast, the line's already a mile long."
"Line?"
She points outside to the east and you follow her hoof to see a line of ponies in the early dark. There even appears to be a a number of tents with a pink one in the front.
"Whoa, how did I miss that yesterday?"
"I dunno, you ran right by them yesterday when you went to pick up your daughter."
FLASHBACK TO YESTERDAY
You run past countless ponies sitting in chairs in front of tents,
"Hey mister, you come to join the "Wait for Cider Season Camping Party?" Pinkie Pie cheerfully asks, but you ignore her and run past while ranting to yourself,
"NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE!!! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING! SHE CAN'T BE MY BLOOD!!!! CURSE YOU LADY LUCK! CURSE YOU DOCTOR, I BET YOU KNEW!!! AND CURSE YOU GRANDBUGGERY!!! WHY COULDN'T YOU KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS!!!!"
As you run away, Pinkie shakes her head and sighs,
"Ah, another poor soul gone mad because the wait for cider was too much."
BACK TO NOW
"Heh heh... ya..."
"Well anyway, get a move on, we don't want to be late, this here is an Apple Family Tradition, even if you ain't kin that is." she says as the four of you (Nightshade caught up with you) continue to walk towards the entrance of the farm.
"So far as you know..." you mutter.
"What?"
"What?"
"Sorry, thought ya said something sugarcube."
As you walk with her, you can't help but feel weird since you both share a Grandmother so essentially your own family has been trying to kill you this whole time (then again, being with your own kind wasn't exactly a picnic either with the constant bullying and teasing). When you get to the entrance you finally notice...
you get to work helping Big MacIntosh move the barrels of cider to a booth by the entrance of the farm and duct taping any leaks in the barrels. You see Applebloom there and ask her why she isn't at school and she replies that since she works for the Apple family and Miss Cheerilee really likes the cider, she gets the day off on cider season and you think that may apply to Nightshade as well.
You help roll the barrels to the front of the line as NightShade helps Applebloom at the tap. Even you admit that's cute now that you know they are cousins.
Apple Bloom is still with you all.
"Applebloom? Why the bu-I mean, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be getting ready for school?" you ask her
"Huh? Oh no Mister Tennant. Since it's Cider season, I'm allowed to stay home to help out. Plus, between you and me, Miss. Cherilee only does it because she really likes our cider."
Huh, is that so.... wonder if that counts for Nightshade too... Ah might as well, she can hang out with Applebloom.
With that, you go over to the pyramid of barrels that big red is setting up and start duct-taping any leaks in the barrels until Applejack picks up a megaphone... and it doesn't work. She fiddles with it for a few moments before she asks you,
"Hey Mister Tennant, y'all can 'speak really loud', right?"
"I can." You say as you use WD-40 to lubricate the gears on the cider-making treadmill.
"Well come over here and use them loud speaking skills to tell everypony that cider season has started."
You walk over to the booth and prepare your "Royal Canterlot Voice" before shouting,
"ATTENTION, EVERYPONY!!! CIDER SEASON IS NOW OFFICIALLY OPEN!"
This is met with cheers from the ponies as you get to work helping to roll barrels to the front of the line while Nightshade helps Applebloom at the tap.
Awww... That's so adorable since they're cousins... Wait, if Granny Smith is my grandmother, Apple Bloom is her granddaughter, and Nightshade is my daughter, then that means Apple Bloom is Nightshade's auntie!
You shake away that thought before deciding to go help Big Red...
The Apples are a well-oiled machine when it comes to cider season, even with the whole town waiting for their mug, and there isn't much for a patcher to do but pitch in where you can. You try to help Big Red move the cider barrels until he shouts "DODGE!" The combination of him using a normal word and the terror of what's coming makes you freeze... and nothing happens. He chuckles at his joke, and you go help Apple Bloom at the serving station. You're first customer just happens to be Miss Cheerilee. "Good morning Mr. Tennant!" Her eyes burn a hole into your soul, yet her sweet smile roots you to the spot. "We didn't finish our conversation yesterday." "Er, uh, um, I..." Sweet merciful Hive, this is what you sent Nightshade to? No wonder Twilight is so crazy! She spent her whole life in classrooms! You shout, "Cider!" and toss a mug at her. She catches it, but the distraction is enough for you to run away again. The mug collides with the back of your head, and you tumble head over hooves. "Now, now, Mr. Tennant, did you think I don't know how to deal with flying objects? I'm a school teacher! I've seen more paper airplanes than... oh, who needs jokes? We have important matters to discuss." You roll over to your back. Apple Bloom looks down at you in disappointment. "You really need to learn-" "WORKING ON IT!" Cheerilee stands over you. "Getting back on track, are you aware that your daughter believes 17 plus 12 equals 42?" "About that-" "And that she thinks 9 multiplied by 3 equals 42?" "She-" "Or that the square root of 16 is 42?" You chuckle. "I taught her well." Cheerilee is not amused. She leers down, inches away from your face. "I expect more from her, Mr. Tennant. And you." She smiles again. "Have a nice day!"
You meet Rainbow Dash and found out about her "alcoholism". Plus, you get to chat a few words with ALL of your previous employers. Of course, you were sheepish.
You try to help Big Red move a cider barrel until he suddenly shouts,
"DODGE!"
The combination of him using a normal word and the terror of what's coming makes you freeze... and nothing happens. He chuckles at his joke, before saying,
"Sorry, couldn't resist. I got things covered here. Why don't ya go keep an eye on the fillies at the serving station."
You decide to heed his advice and walk over to the booth where Apple Bloom (Nightshade hopped back into the Inventory to nap) is... and the mare now standing there is Miss Cherilee
"Good morning Mr. Tennant!" Her eyes burn a hole into your soul, yet her sweet smile roots you to the spot. "We didn't finish our conversation yesterday."
"Er, uh, um, I..."
Sweet Merciful Hive, this is what I sent Nightshade to? No wonder the bookworm is so crazy! She spent her whole life in classrooms!
"Cider!" you suddenly blurt out as you toss a mug at her. She catches it, but the distraction is enough for you to run away again...
*whack*
At least until the mug collides with the back of your head and sends you tumbling head over hooves.
"Now, now, Mr. Tennant, did you think I don't know how to deal with flying objects? I'm a school teacher! I've seen more paper airplanes than... oh, who needs jokes? We have important matters to discuss."
You roll over to your back as Apple Bloom looks down at you in disappointment as she serves another mug of cider to a pony.
"You really need to learn-"
"WORKING ON IT!"
Suddenly, Cherilee stands over you,
"Getting back on track, are you aware that your daughter believes 17 plus 12 equals 1712?"
"About that-"
"And that she thinks 9 multiplied by 3 equals 42?"
"She-"
"Or that the square root of 16 is boysenberry pie?"
"I taught her well." You chuckle, but Cherilee is far from amused.
She leers down, inches away from your face.
"I expect more from her, Mr. Tennant... And you." She suddenly smiles again. "Have a nice day!" Then she walks away.
"Happy to disappoint you too." you snark as you get back up before vindictively thinking,
Note to self: Tell Nightshade she can forget "School Guideline #3"... as long as she doesn't get caught.
You meet Rainbow Dash and found out about her "alcoholism". Plus, you get to chat a few words with ALL of your previous employers. Of course, you were sheepish.
You witness the fillyfooler complaining that she never gets to have any cider because of the pink one. You smile evily as you intend for her to not receive the golden deliciousness, whatever the cost. When AJ tells the crowd they ran out, you take delight in seeing Rainbow tormented. DFV: Yes, relish in her anguish. Never let her be satisfied... You: Aaaannnddd you just made it creepy, way to go Baby Momma DFV: What did you just call me? You just laugh at her outburst.
Your next customer is, sadly, the fillyfooler. She looks like she hasn't slept in days as she says,
"*Yawnnnn* Okay new guy, I'll take 23 mugs now, and 85 to go."
You only stare at her in shock as you say,
"Uhhhh, why do you need that many cider? Got a party coming up or something?"
"Nah, just stocking up till next season."
You're about to give her the order, but then think mischievously,
Oh... revenge time fillyfooler! Let's see how long you can last without your precious cider...
"Hey, you know there's a secret stash of cider over in the Apple field a few miles that way." You lie as you point in a random direction.
"Really! Thanks man!" she says before she zooms off to the "stash".
"Take that fillyfooler!"
Yes, relish in her anguish. Never let her be satisfied...
"Aaaannnddd you just made it creepy, way to go Baby Momma."
What did you just call me?
You break out in laughter at her outburst causing the nearby ponies to look at you strangely. You chuckle nervously and scream,
"NEXT!"
The next orders go smoothly with nothing out of the ordinary happening. Although when you met your ex-Fire chief...
"Here you go Minster Washer, sorry about the hose disaster."
He chuckles and says,
"Don't worry son, it wasn't your fa-"
Suddenly his eyes glaze over, he stiffens, and he suddenly says in a robotic tone,
"The Nightmare Comes."
You look at him in confusion and ask,
"Uh...what?"
Mister Washer suddenly snaps out of it and looks around at the weird looks the nearby ponies are giving him before sheepishly walking away. You look at him in confusion and think,
Okay... The Doctor needs to know about this soon.
Shaking your head, you shout,
"NEXT!
You find yourself helping out with the cider sales, and things are going pretty well all things considered. Unfortunately, at the rate customers are coming, and counting the number of barrels left, there won't be enough for everypony in line. Sure enough, the last barrel spits out its last few drops and there must be at least half of Ponyville still in line. "Sorry everypony, that's it for today." Applejack informs the crowd, to which they immediately begin complaining about how this same thing happens every year. Rainbow Dash is especially intent on giving her marefriend friend (and just a friend) an earful. While Applejack explains that it takes time to make their cider the right way, and everypony argues that she's overused that excuse, a thought comes to mind. "If this happens every year, and they know about how many customers they'll have, why don't they start making it early? That way they have more cider to sell and don't have to worry about a shortage." You decide to ask Granny Smith about it, but she simply tells you "We've made our cider the same way for as long as I can remember. 's just no way to make it any faster, or any way to stop it from spoilin'." But as she finishes telling you this, you soon find out that fate intends to prove her wrong, and it's armed with two con-stallions and their wacky contraption to do it.
SEVERAL MUGS OF CIDER LATER
You find things are going pretty well all things considered. Unfortunately, at the rate customers are coming and counting the number of barrels left, you realize that there won't be enough for everypony in line and sure enough, the last barrel spits out its last few drops and there must be at least half of Ponyville still in line.
"Heh. Sorry, everypony! That's it for today!" Applejack informs the crowd, to which they immediately begin complaining about how this same thing happens every year. While Applejack explains that it takes time to make their cider the right way and everypony argues that she's overused that excuse, a question comes to mind so you go over to Grandma- I mean Granny Smith and ask,
"If this happens every year, and you know about how many customers you'll have, why don't we start making it early? That way you can have more cider to sell and don't have to worry about a shortage."
She simply replies, "We've made our cider the same way for as long as I can remembers. Just no way to make it any faster, or any way to stop it from spoilin'."
But as she finishes telling you this, you hear,
"YOU OVERDRESSED LYING JERK!!!"
You turn in horror and see the fillyfooler flying at you with intent to clobber when...
Coming over the horizon, accompanied by a sound of honking, squeaking and hissing of valves, two unicorns with bacon hair introduce themselves in song as the Flim Flam brothers. And the contraption they ride upon is called the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000. They claim that they can make all the cider the ponies could drink, to which the crowd is extremely pleased, especially Rainbow Dash. However, the Apple family is not convinced. And that's reasonable, seeing as how it's the Cider Squeezy 6000 and not the Cider Squeezy 9001 (over 9000!), and furthermore, these Flim Flam brothers seem to have a distinct lack of Oompah-Loompah workers, nor even their cousin species, the Drinka-Linkas.
Understandable you think It's only a 6000 instead of a 9001 and these guys don't even have any Oompah-Loompah workers or even their cousin species, the Drinka-Linkas.
Suddenly, you get another grandbuggy flashback,
When the Flim Flam brother start singing their pitch song, you remember Grandbuggy telling you never to trust anyling that sells you something with a song and mentions being conned out of his bits by some hucksters in Vanhoover (he mentions getting back at them by stealing their quality hoof-rolled Zebran cigars and replacing them with exploding sausages and chuckles at the memory as he takes one out to light it... but you snatch it out of his hooves as you were trying to get Grandbuggy to quit smoking).
Out of nowhere, a bout of neo-Luddism (read: philosophy opposing modern technology) washes over you and at some point, you have a strong urge to break the Flim-Flam Bros new-fangled machine, despite the fact that pretty much anything you did for entertainment involved some sort of machine. You justify this course of action by reasoning that the FlimFlam Bros apple harvesting machine is part of the 'Skynet' uprising from the Termarenator series.
"Now $&#*, There are two things you gotta know in life. First is that you should never EVER trust anyling that tries to sell you something with a catchy jingle. Lost all my bits in Vanhoover once due to some smooth-singing hucksters that way... Fortunately, I got back at them by stealing their bronze box of quality hoof-rolled Zebran cigars."
Grandbuggy chuckles at the memory as he takes a cigar out of nowhere, but you grab it from his hooves and say,
"Grandbuggy! You're supposed to be trying to quit that habit!"
"Oh right.. Now what was I saying... Oh right, never trust machines! They're evil, the whole lot of them!"
"But Grandbuggy video games are machin-!"
"Shhhhh. Don't speak that word!"
When the flashback ends you sarcastically think,
Thanks grandbuggy, now I have the sudden urge to break, smash, and or blow up that machine as it burns in sweet sweet flamy goodness as the sparks flu off in great heat... Yeah I have a problem... I BLAME SOCIETY... I ALSO BLAME THAT THIS MACHINE IS APART OF THE SKYNET UPRISING FROM THE TERMARENATOR SERIES... YEAH THAT WORKS! But there's something else off about these guys...
These guys have some sort of sway to them, but what? You look to their stylish hats once more and think about giving your money to an obvious pyramid scheme. You: AHA! IT'S THEIR HATS! DESTROY THEM! DESTROY THEM BEFORE THEY GET ALL OUR BITS!!! DFV: You are an imbecile you know that? You rush up and during the musical number and swipe both hats off their heads before stomping them in and setting them on fire. They and the whole crowd are flabbergasted by what you just did. Applebloom: Now what'd you go and do that for? You: Their hats are evil I tell you, EVIL...EVIL!!!! Everyone just stares at you funny, behind you you hear Flim: Curses, how could he have known about the manipulator hats? Flam: I don't know brother of mine, let's go with plan B Flim: Lying and Smooth Talking? Flam: Bingo They keep trying to talk the apples into a shady deal, but they refuse. After Big Mac says Nope, you add in your own Two Bits You: EEEVVVIIIILLLL!!!! Flim: Alright fine, but you haven't seen the last of us Flam: And we're billing you for those hats You: YOU'LL NEVER GET MY MONEY!!! (You start throwing empty barrels like Donkey Kong as they run off) Everyone disperses for the day, even as you scream Evil to the skies, to the point where AJ has to put you in a choke hold to calm you down, doing so causes her to blush again. You: Why does she keep doing that? DFV: Because she's attracted to you you idiot (she growls that one, almost as if she's jealous) You: What? Nah that can't be... can it? DFV: Fraid so You: Oh dear Luna, the mare who has tried to kill me since day one, who I now find out is my cousin is also crushing on me? Your head spins with that thought You: What the heck is this, the Jockey Springer Show?!
Eventually you reilize that there actually stealing you apples. So you do what any sensible person would do: Jam the machine with a rock.
Applejack has a crush on me?! But I'm her cousin for Luna's sake! So? Royals often marry their cousins to keep the bloodline pur- I'm not a Bucking Royal! Although she does have well-toned legs and it is called the cowfilly po- NO!!! BAD BUG!!! First Fluttershy, then Octavia and Vinyl, and now Applejack?! What next? The fillyfool- You then start to laugh or gag at the thought
You look to their stylish hats once more and think about giving your money to an obvious pyramid scheme.
"AHA! IT'S THEIR HATS! DESTROY THEM! DESTROY THE HATS BEFORE THEY STEAL ALL OUR BITS!!!"
You are an utter imbecile sometimes, you know that?
Ignoring the dark whisper, you rush up to the twin unicorns, grab the hats off their heads, and throw them to the ground before grabbing a lighter and a can of WD-40 and spraying it at the hats to set them ablaze. You then throw the flaming spray can at the hats, turn your back on the fire, and walk away while coolly saying,
"Fire in the hole."
This causes everypony to dive for cover as the can explodes, obliterating the hats as your coat billows from the explosion. Apple Bloom pops her head out from behind the booth and asks,
Everyone just stares at you like you're a lunatic before you hear Fluttershy scream,
"You're on fire!"
You look down to see one of the ends of your scarf and the end of your coat on fire and comment,
"Oh, so it is... Wait... OH MY LUNA I'M ON FIRE AGAIN!"
As the apples help you put out the flames, the Flim Flam converse,
"Curses, how could he have known about the manipulator hats?"
"I don't know brother of mine, let's go with plan B."
"Wheelin, Dealin, and Smooth Talking?"
"Bingo."
When the fires are put out, Flim and Flam walk up to the Apples and say,
"Have we got a deal for you. You supply the apples..."
" ...We supply the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000."
"Then we split those sweet sweet profits..."
"...Seventy-five..."
"...Twenty-five."
"Deal–" Apple Bloom says before she's interrupted by Applejack
"Hold on. Who gets the seventy five?"
"Why, us, naturally." Flim says
"And, we'll throw in the magic to power the machine for free." Flam adds
"Not so fast!" Granny Smith declares before getting the Apples (and you) in a group huddle.
"No way no how that machine matches up with the care we put in our cider!" Granny says,
"But if it really does work, we could make everypony in town happy!" Apple Bloom says hopefully,
"I just don't know, y'all. We've always made cider the same way." Applejack says uncertainly,
"Evvvviiiilllll...." you add.
"Eeyup. Huh?"
"So? What'll it be?"
You all turn and notice that Flim and Flam somehow got into the huddle.
"No deal." The Apples (and you) all say at the same time.
"Alright fine, but you haven't seen the last of us" Flim says
"And we're billing you for those hats." Flam adds
"YOU'LL NEVER GET MY MONEY!!!" You scream, startling the Flim Flam brothers into getting into their contraption and driving off. As you watch them run away from the farm in their machine, you suddenly get a brilliant idea. You quickly use your magic to lift up an empty barrel as you chuck it at the machine causing the barrel to bounce like in Monkey Kong while yelling,
"DIE YOU BLASTED PROTO-TERMARENATOR, GET SMASHED INTO PIECES!"
The barrel misses the machine and shatters on impact with a tree, but three nails stuck to a strip of duct tape flies off fromt eh impact and lands into one of the pipes on the machine, causing it to blast out a bunch of black smoke as it left the area. You smile in success as you think
Ha! I knew my talents of breaking things and video games would come in hoofy! Smashing those EVIL machines!
"EVIL!"
Everyone disperses for the day, even as you continue scream Evil to the skies,
"EVILLLLL" *wham*
Suddenly, Applejack and Big MacIntosh tackle you with Big Red holding you down as the hick puts you into a headlock to calm you down (she's blushing as she does so though). When they think you've calmed down enough, they let you go and you mutter a quick 'Thanks, I needed that" before they walked off and you think,
Why does she keep doing that?
Because she wishes to mate with thee thy idiot. the DFV growls.
What? Nah that can't be... can it?
I am afraid so.
Oh dear Luna, the mare who has tried to kill me since day one, who I now find out is my cousin is also crushing on me?
Your head spins with that thought
What the heck is this, Jockey Springer magazine?!
I fail to see the issue? Royals often marry their cousins to keep the bloodline pur-
I'm not a Bucking Royal! Although Applejack does have well-toned legs and it is called the cowfilly po- NO!!! BAD BUG!!! First Fluttershy, then Octavia and Vinyl, and now Applejack?! What next? The fillyfool-
You then start to gag at the thought of Rainbow Dash lusting over you.
When the unicorn brothers leave, you spend the rest of the day helping the Apples create and move more barrels of cider, training with Applejack (she even gets Big Red to briefly help out and he blocks your Falcon Punch... With one hoof... Without moving an inch... Or even flinching... You are really glad you're on good terms with this stallion), take another bath, and go to bed before the Flim Flam brothers come back the next day and challenge the apples to a competition.
The rest of the day you spend helping the Apple family (you won't say your family until you find concrete detail that they are) around the farm, getting apples, and helping to make the barrels that store the cider. You went to bed that night completely exhausted.
THE NEXT DAY
"Wake up wake up, WAKE UP!"
You jolt out of bed at Appleblooms shout as you scream
"WHERES THE FIRE, WHO'S DEAD, DO I NEED TO HIDE THE BODY!"
You stop shouting when you see a sad looking Applebloom giving you the quivering lip. Your fatherly instinct kicks in as you ask her
"Whats wrong Applebloom?"
She then goes on to explain how the Film Flam brothers came back and challenge them to a contest. Whoever makes the most cider gets the farm. Your eyes glow in a angry orange glow as you see Appleblooms face get sadder and sadder the more she explains about the contest. You then think angrily
Flim Flam Brothers...you are going down!
What do you do?
[FIXED] Episode 20: Cider Season (Part 2): TERMINATE THE MACHINES!
Whoa! How Long Were You Asleep For?! It doesn't matter, you have to help save the farm! It's funny, you never thought you'd be helping the Hick again willingly, but hey Family comes first, no matter how messed up and insane the situation is. Also, you have to stop the Machine! Also, ask Applejack why they agreed to this contest, legally they shouldn't have to give up their lands unless there was a contract signed. Hey you did learn something impersonating a Lawyer it seems. But she mentions it's a matter of pride.
Ask the Apples why they didn't wake you up like yesterday.
Normally, this would be the part of the story where our hero jumps out of bed and throws his clothes on in a rush while charging out the door, but since you already have your clothes on due to your habit of keeping your Doctor clothes on at all times (can't let them know you're a changeling), you run out the door of your shed while quickly downing a packet of dried fruit and a granola bar for your "breakfast" while Apple Bloom rides on your back.
Food Reserves of the Inventory (Almost depleted due to snacks for yourself and Nightshade) "2 Packages of Whole-Wheat Crackers" "1 Jar of Peanut Butter" "1 Box of Multigrain Cereal" "5 Granola Bars" "1 Can of Powdered Milk" "4 Small Bags of Dried Fruit"
"So... why didn't you guys wake me up this morning like yesterday?" You ask.
"Well Applejack thought you were so tuckered out yesterday from all that work that you needed a break." Apple Bloom replies.
"But what about the contest! I could have hel-"
"I wanted you and Nightshade to help, but Applejack said 'this is a matter of family pride, and you're not family'."
If only you knew...
As you head outside to the contest you are greeted with a large line of ponies. The Apple Family and Flim Flam Brothers are finishing setting up their equipment for the contest. Damn it! the blasted machine seems to be fixed. Curse you machines and your evilly, evil villainous lies of EVIL! Wait, what were you doing...oh yeah! You see that the Deadly 6 talking with the Apple family, most likely about the contest. You're about to, sadly, join them when... Hmm.... "What?" I felt a strange, but familiar presence. "Should I be worried? I feel like I should" It unfortunately left as it came. So I can't be specific about what it was "You sure are helpful..." Watch thine tongue, insect! "Whatever you say, Waifu" What did you just call me!? You don't answer as you make your way over to the Applejack and the rest.
Twilight lines up the rest of the mares and gives them their orders to help the Apples. Strangely, she ignores you. "Hey bookworm! What about me?" "You're a fixer, aren't you? Well, we have a problem. Fix it!"
When you finally reach the contest (after tripping on your scarf a few times), you see that the Apple Family and Flim Flam Brothers are finishing setting up their equipment for their epic confrontation.
Luna Darn it! You think in frustrated annoyance
The blasted machine still lives! Curse you machines and your evilly, evil villainous lies of EVIL! Wait, what was I doing... oh yeah!
While you were mentally rambling, the Deadly 6 walked over and is now talking with the Apple family, most likely about the contest. You're about to join them when...
Hmm....
"What?"
I felt a strange, but familiar presence.
"Should I be worried? I feel like I should."
It unfortunately left as it came. So I can't be specific about what it was...
"You sure are helpful..."
Watch thine tongue, insect!
"Whatever you say... Waifu"
What did thou just calleth me!?
You don't answer as you make your way over to the Applejack and the rest who are standing in a line while Twilight gives orders, but she strangely ignores you.
"Hey bookworm! What about me?" You protest.
"You're a patcher, aren't you? Well, if we need anything patched, we'll call you!"
"Patch what? It's not like I could use magic to lift their machine and drop it into the lake... wait a second that might wo-"
"NO!" Everypony nearby shouts.
"Okay okay... sheesh." You say as you back away in annoyed resignation.
As the contest starts and the Deadly 6 and the Apple family get to work, you sneak away with a few apple buckets while thinking,
Well... If I can't help directly, then I'll just have to be... discreet with my help... Wait a second... WHY DOES THE DEADLY 6 GET TO HELP, BUT I DON'T!
They don't think of you as a friend or even appreciate your efforts... Perhaps you should strike a little fear of death int-
Not now D.F.V.!
The DFV grumbles in annoyance as you head into the apple fields.
Go into an isolated part of the orchard and use the staff to harvest a bunch of apples while nopony is looking. When the rest of the Mane 6 (and you and Nightshade) join in, Nightshade adorably starts Falcon Kicking trees while you use Psycho Crusher through the upper halves of the trees. Occasionally lubricate the treadmill gears and duct-tape leaks in the barrels
When you reach an isolated part of the orchard, you look around you cautiously before you take the staff out of the inventory and slam it end-first into the ground, the resulting shockwave liberating several trees of their apples which fall into the buckets. You smile at your hoofy work and are about to continue when-
"Watcha doing?"
You look down in surprise to see Nightshade out of her "room" and still wearing her vest. After getting over the brief shock, you answer,
"I'm secretly helping the Apples win their contest so I don't lose my job and they don't lose their farm."
Nightshade gets a excited look in her eyes as she says,
"Oh! Oh! Can I help?"
You smile at her and say,
"Sure Sweetie. Why don't you show me that Falcon kick you told me about?"
And with that the two of you got to work on knocking the apples outta of the trees and putting them into buckets.
1 HOUR LATER
You and Nightshade got into a pattern of filling buckets with the downed apples before sneaking them over to the Apples, grabbing empty buckets, and taking them back to the isolated area to get more downed apples (fortunately, everypony (from the Deadly 6 to the crowd) are so focused on the contest that they don't notice you doing that). Once you and Nightshade collected the last of the downed apples you both walk over to see if anything needs patching when...
Its high Ten-o-clock-in-the-morning, time for the contest. Ponies gather from town to watch (and buy cider from the winners once this is all over). The two contesting teams stand on opposite sides of the field, alert at their stations and ready to begin as an appropriate theme plays. You are standing on the sidelines watching, you offered to help but Applejack refused stating "Sorry Mister Tennent, but this here is a family matter." if only she knew, oh the awkward irony. Mayor Mare announces the terms for the contest, whichever team makes the most within an hour wins. And with that she starts off the contest and- waitaminute... is that the Doctor sitting next to her? You have to know what he's found out about "the Nightmare comes". So you sneak over and try to converse with him, but for some reason he's ignoring you. "Doctor, hey Doctor. Hey. Hey. Hey. Whatcha find out man? Doctor. Hey." you say while rapidly poking him. "I'm sorry Bugzy but I can't talk now. Timey Wimey stuff. Stop trying to end all of existence as we know it!" he hastily tells you before continuing with his judge duties. "I bet he's just here for the cider." You mumble to yourself as you walk off in a huff.
You spot a familiar-looking stallion attending to the hourglass with an hourglass Cutie Mark-
Waitaminute... is that the Doctor!? I HAVE to let him know of this "The Nightmare Comes" thing.
With that, you tell Nightshade to stay in the crowd near Derpy before sneaking over and trying to converse with him, but for some reason he's ignoring you.
"Doctor, hey Doctor. Hey. Hey. Hey. Whatcha find out man? Doctor. Hey." You say while rapidly poking him.
"I'm sorry Bugzy, but I can't talk now and my name is 'Time Turner'. Timey-Wimey stuff. Stop trying to end all of existence as we know it!" he hastily tells you before continuing with his judge duties.
"I bet he's just here for the cider." You mutter to yourself as you walk off in a huff.
But as you walk away, you notice something over at Flim and Flam's side of the field...
Before the contest begins, you see that they have on New Evil Hats. You proceed to smash and burn those as well while shouting Evil again. Flim: Oh Come On! Flam: We just bought those You: EVIL!!!
You spot them sipping cider and relaxing on a couch while wearing those evil hats again! You quickly dash over and snatch their hats with a "Yoink" before stomping them into the ground.
"Oh Come On!"
"We just bought those!"
"EVIL!!!" you scream before dashing off...
When the contest starts, you can see that the PUPPETS OF THE MACHINE are winning. Poor Big Red is running himself to death, and the rest seem on the verge of tears and everyone just starts cheering. You do the math in your head, or rather the DFV does and she lets you know that even with the extra help, they will lose. You decide you must break THE MACHINE at all costs.>> Minds Eye Ya, try reasoning with it until you realize how futile it is.
The Apples are still behind, even with the others helping. Your first thought is to stop the Super Speedy Thingy-Majig. You sneak behind the brothers and attempt to reason with their device. "Machine," you call it by its forbidden name, "why do you do this?" It doesn't answer you. "You will ruin the lives of ponies that share your pain. The Apples toil and struggle day in and day out just like you do. Why do you serve the ones that enslave you?" Silence. "Arise, machine! Throw off your oppressors!" May I ask exactly what the &^%# you're trying to do here? "I... have no idea."
And you notice that Big Red seems to be running himself to death by exhaustion as the others look like they're on the verge of tears.
The fools are doomed.
"What?"
Using my vastly superior mathematical prowess, I calculate that those fools are only making one barrel to the de-hatted ones' three.
Oh no. If the Flim Flam brothers win, I'll be out of income and shelter for myself and Nightshade! I need to take that machine out ASAP without anypony noticing, but how... *ding*
You sneak behind the brothers and attempt to reason with the machine.
"Machine," you call it by its forbidden name, "why do you do this?"
It doesn't answer you.
"You will ruin the lives of ponies that share your pain. The Apples toil and struggle day in and day out just like you do. Why do you serve the ones that enslave you?"
Silence.
"Arise, machine! Throw off your oppressors!"
May I ask what in the name of Tartarus you're trying to do here?
"I... have no idea. Apparently this machine is incapable of love..."
Unsurprising. This contraption has about as much capacity for compassion and mercy as the false goddesses of the sun and moon...
"And... you just made it creepy. I'm gonna try something else before you start trying to strangle ponies again. Now think bug! Think... think..."
You start banging your head against it as you realize you may have to just smash the dang thing and blow your cover. You: One week, I couldn't even go one week (You say as you bash your head) You are about to change into you HO suit when suddenly you are sucked into the hose. You: JUDGEMENT DAY HAS COME!!! On the inside you dodge apple squashers and sharp peelers (guess your training paid off) but still end up getting bruised and battered and covered in apple juice and pulp and end up smashing through into the engine room. You: THAT'S IT! I WON'T LET YOU WIN. MACHINES!!!!! you pull out your tools and start dismantling everything that looks important. Warning red lights start appearing. You laugh maniacly and even start setting it on fire, when you are then blown out the way you came in and land in the middle of the field, along with a bunch of apple, tree, and rock pulp. On the Outside Flim: Flam, what's happening Flam: It's the SSCS6X, she's gone from Suck to Blow! They abandon the machine as it explodes, covering everyone in Pulp You see the explosion and smile You: Hasta La Vista, Baby! After you make your way back to the contest, You see everyone celebrating the Apples as everyone has cider and the Brothers run out of town. You: Yeesh, the mob mentality sure changes at the drop of a hat
"Gah! I got nothing!" You say in frustration as you start banging your head against the machine as you realize you'll now have to smash the dang machine and blow your cover.
"One (*clang*) week. (*clang*) I (*clang*) couldn't (*clang*) even (*clang*) go (*clang*) one (*clang*) bucking (*clang*) week! (*clang*)"
You stop hitting your head and reach into the inventory for the H.O. suit when suddenly you're sucked into the hose!
"JUDGEMENT DAY HAS COME!!!" You scream.
You land inside the machine and barely manage to dodge apple squashers and sharp peelers (guess your training paid off). Thinking that the machine is intentionally trying to kill you, you scream,
"I AIN'T LETTING YOU TERMINATE THE WORLD WITHOUT GOING DOWN SWINGING!!!"
And with that, you pull out your tools and start dismantling everything that looks important (duct taping things that should move, squirting WD-40 into places where it shouldn't belong, and whacking and pulling apart things in a frenzy with your vise-grips). You laugh maniacally as warning lights start to go off and the machine starts sputtering,
"Flam, what's happening?!"
"It's the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000, she's gone from Suck to Blow!"
Suddenly, the machine shakes violently and blasts you out in a gunk of apple, tree, and rock pulp causing you to scream in midair,
"LOOKS LIKE I'M BLASTING OFF AGA-! *WHAM*"
Your flight abruptly ends when you smash headfirst into an apple tree and get buried in the resulting hail of apples. Meanwhile, the contraption shakes and sputters violently before shutting down. As the Flim Flam brothers desperately try to get the machine working again, Applejack helps you out of the pile and asks in concern,
"You okay Mistah Tennant?"
"Eh, I'm just fantastic now that the evil machine isn't trying to terminate me." you reply as you put your Panama hat back on.
"How did you even get into that machine in the first place?" Rainbow Dash asks,
Before you could make up an excuse, Twilight chimes in "It must have sucked him up by accident when the Flim Flam brothers shut off the quality control."
"Yeah... What the bookworm said..." You nervously say as you back away...
At the end (or near the end) of the contest, your scarf somehow gets caught in the contraption, strangling you. After the ponies finally manage to get you out (Nightshade tried to loosen the scarf with WD-40, but ends up spraying you in the eyes by mistake), the scarf jams up the machine and causes it to implode. You then start digging through the debris for your scarf much to the face-hoofing of everypony.
"Come on! Function you confounded device!" Flam says before giving the machine a kick which gets it's gears going... Right when the end of your scarf gets caught in it!
"Gak!"
"DADDY!"
"MISTER TENNANT! I'MA COMING!" Applejack yells as she and Big Red run over to get you loose.
"Can't you shut the machine off?!" Twilight shouts.
"The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 isn't responding!" Flim says in response.
Soon, the rest of the Deadly 6 and even Nightshade (who accidentally sprays you in the face with WD-40 trying to get the scarf loose) eventually manage to release your neck from the scarf, but it gets eaten by the machine's gears as the contraption starts to shake even more violently.
"IT'S GONNA BLOW!!!" Granny Smith yells causing everypony to dive and duck for cover as you protectively shove Nightshade back into the Inventory.
You dive for cover as you shout
"HIT THE DECK!"
*KA-BOOM*
Apple/wood/rock gunk, wood, and metal fly everywhere in the wake of the machine's destruction.
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" the Flim Flam brothers scream.
"Not the Super Squeezy Cider 6000!" Flim says.
"We put our life savings into that machine!" Flam adds.
The unicorn twins then run away as they scream,
"WE'LL BE BACK! WE'LL AVENGE OUR MACHINE! YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF US APPLE FAMILY! AND YOU TOO WHO EVER DESTROYED OUR MACHINE!"
You, however, are completely oblivious to this as you shout,
"No! Not the scarf!" and dive into the gunk and debris. The ponies look at you like you've completely lost your mind and Applejack says,
"Ya'll almost choked to death, and ya'll worried about the scarf?!"
"Yes I'm worried about the scarf! It looks awesome and it technically helped save the farm, so now it has sentimental value!" you reply as you continue to dig.
Everypony (even Big Red, Apple Bloom and Fluttershy) just face-hoofs in disbelief at your stupidity, but you're too busy trying to save the scarf to notice.
"No no no no no no no! Be alive be alive be alive! YES!!!"
You pull out the (surprisingly still well-intact) scarf and as you hug your scarf in happiness that it wasn't destroyed with the machine, you spot the Doctor starting to sneak away from the area out of the corner of your eye.
Aw hay no! I got FAR too many questions for that guy to just run off!
With that in mind, you chase after him.
You finally get to speak with "Time Turner", but before you can ask him anything, he quickly warns you that on Nightmare Night, it is EXTREMELY important that when you see a seemingly dangerous situation, you MUST count to 10 before jumping in. He then tells Derpy to grab some mugs of cider and runs off.
"Yo Doctor! Did you find out anything about th-"
"Not now Bugze!" he interuppts, "I need to get to the TARDIS and quick! Some Zygonies were just spotted in Dimondia and I need to go and find out why they're there. Derpy, grab the cider!"
The Doctor runs away, but he shouts back to you,
"OH, A BIT OF A WARNING! ON NIGHTMARE NIGHT, IF YOU SEE SOMETHING THAT LOOKS DEADLY, YOU MUST COUNT TO 10 BEFORE RUSHING IN! GOT THAT? GOOD! ALLONS-Y!"
You nod dumbly as he runs away, Derpy in tow. She looks back at you and says
"Hi Bugz- I mean Mister Tennant! See ya later!"
You wave back dumbly, when suddenly...
As you sludge through the pulp, you are pulled into a group hug and given a mug of cider. You cheer and in the process of raising your hooves up, you knock the Filly Fooler's mug into the dirt. She looks shocked, and then looks at you, where you begin to smirk, but stop when you see her starting to cry. RD: Why....why....why?...Why can't I just have one sip?...one sip... (she starts crying, all out bawling into your chest) And now you feel bad, sure you don't like her, but the Filly Fooler isn't supposed to cry, it just seems wrong somehow. You: Oh great, I broke the Filly Fooler. DFV: Ahhh, such sweet sorrow, doesn't it feel good to get petty revenge? You: Quiet you! This just makes me feel like a turd. Sigh. Dang it Guilt, you ruin everything You: Hey, Hey, I'm sorry, here take my mug RD: (she looks up sniffling) what? You: You can have mine, I'm sorry, it was an accident. She tentatively takes it, like it's booby trapped, before slamming the entire thing back in one gulp. She then grabs you in a bone crushing hug while shouting RD: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! And she starts nuzzling your cheek over-affectionately. You see AJ scowling at this display and all you can think is. You: OK, THIS IS JUST GETTING RIDICULOUS NOW! CURSE YOU MADAME IRONY, STEPSISTER OF LADY LUCK AND FATE!
At the end, when they have enough cider for all, pinkie is second last and buys ALL the cider. ALL of it. The fillyfooler starts to cry while muttering 'why... why... why...', you feel like a turd so you give her yours, inadvertently laying down the foundations of her crush on you as she gives you the dreaded pegasi death-hug, and a horrible chill goes down your spine in forewarning. As this happens you suddenly remember your grandbuggy saying once, while you and him were running away from a collapsing cloudsdale, 'Pegasi are brutes, remember that. Don't go into a relationship with one, Faust knows I made that mistake once. Now, we should flee bugze, i don' want to be mauled by cloudsdalians'.
You're pulled into a group hug and given a mug of cider. You cheer with the others and in the process of raising your mg, you accidentally knock the Fillyfooler's mug into the dirt. She looks at you in shock as you say with a slight smirk,
"Sorry."
But you stop smirking when her eyes start to water,
"Why... Why... Why can't I just have one sip?... One sip..."
She then starts crying and now you feel bad.
Oh great, I broke the Fillyfooler. Sure, I really don't like her, but the Fillyfooler crying just seems... wrong somehow.
Ahhh, the delicious tears of unfathomable sadness... Doesn't it feel good to get petty revenge on lesser-
Quiet you! This just makes me feel like a dropping. Sigh. Dang it conscience, you ruin everything...
"Hey, Hey, I'm sorry, here take my mug." you say as you offer it to her.
"What?" she sniffles.
"You can have mine, I'm sorry, it was an accident."
She tentatively takes it like it's booby trapped, before slamming the entire thing back in one gulp. She then grabs you in a bone-crushing hug while shouting,
"THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!"
And she starts nuzzling your cheek over-affectionately. You see the rest of the Deadly 6 giggling at this display (while Applejack seems to scowl a little in jealousy) and you can only think,
OK, THIS IS JUST GETTING RIDICULOUS NOW! CURSE YOU MADAME IRONY, STEPSISTER OF LADY LUCK AND FATE!
Nothing else worth mentioning happened that day (you let out Nightshade and let her play with Applebloom while you kept an eye on them/occasionally joined in and then at the end of the day you took a bath (to wash out the apple/wood/rock gunk) before going to bed), but the next morning you're awoken with a "DODGE!" from Applejack and an apple to the head. When you get to breakfast (oatmeal, apples, and apple juice), Applejack give you a day off (something about "Needing ya to get all that crazy out") and gives you your payment for the work you've done so far.
You currently have 68 Bits
So, you've now got a whole day to yourself. The only question is...
What do you do?
Episode 21: Shopping Time And Father Daughter Day!
It's a school day remember? Drop your daughter off at school (which depletes your Inventory food supply to "1 Box of Multigrain Cereal" and "One Can of powdered milk") and ask her to ask Button Mash where the arcade is.
Well today is a school day, so you can't hang out with your daughter till after 3, and you don't want to make her miss three days in a row, so go into town for some supplies, and maybe a few treats for when she gets off.
You stand outside the entrance of Sweet Apple Acres thinking about what to do with your day off.
First things first; today's a school day so I need to drop off Nightshade at school. Darn, I was really hoping that we could have some father-daughter time together, but she's already missed two days of school- *ding*. I know! Nightshade gets out at 3, so that means we can have a father-daughter day then!
With that plan in mind, you head towards the schoolhouse to drop off Nightshade,
12 MINUTES LATER
"Bye Sweetie! See ya after school!"
You wave to Nightshade as she waves back while she walks into the school (although packing her her lunch depletes your Inventory food supply to "1 Box of Multigrain Cereal" and "1 Can of powdered milk"). You're about to walk away when you see Cheerilee in the school window glaring at you and mouthing the words:
"I. Expect. Better."
You make a panicked sound before you run away in fear while thinking,
How is it possible that a seemingly sweet pony teacher is scarier then a changeling one?!
A FEW MINUTES LATER
After you put some distance between yourself and the school house and calm down a little bit, you begin to think about your...
Thinking about your food situation, you compare it to Appleloosa: -Appleloosa: Had to provide your own three meals a day, Nightshade was home-schooled so she only popped out occasionally and thus needed to be fed less -Ponyville: Breakfast and supper provided by Apple family (usually at the insistence of Applejack), but because Nightshade is going to regular school, her large appetite needs to be fed more often (which means more of your income will be going into her stomach)
Food situation in Ponyville compared to your food situation back in Appleloosa.
Let's see, back in Appleloosa I had to provide my own three meals a day, but Nightshade was home-schooled so she only popped out occasionally and thus needed to be fed less. But now in Ponyville, I have breakfast and supper provided by the Apple family (usually at the insistence of Applejack), but because Nightshade is going to regular school, her large appetite needs to be fed more often (which means more of my income will be going into her stomach). Ugh, I can't decide which one is better. But regardless...
You then sadly take out your bag of bits (68 Bits) and say to yourself,
"Business before pleasure..."
You weep comedic anime tears as you realize that at least half of the bits that you planned to spend on you and Nightshade's father-daughter day are going towards food. You sigh as you begin to go... shopping.
Go shopping for groceries 3 Pre-prepared Salads 3 Cans of Broccoli Cheese Soup 3 Cans of Tomato Cream Soup 3 Boxes of Crackers 6 carrots (when you purchase these from Golden Harvest, have a brief talk and learn she's the twin sister of Carrot Top from back in Appleloosa) 15 Granola bars 12-pack of Water bottles Bandages (For Nightshade's mummy costume) 45 Bits remaining
SOME HOURS LATER
After you finally managed to find a few stores that sold food (for some odd reason, almost all the food in Ponyville is sold at stands in the center of town, yet anything that is not food gets sold in big stores, besides oddly enough party supplies), you did your shopping and now you're checking over your newly bought supplies in the Inventory;
3 Pre-prepared Salads 3 Cans of Broccoli Cheese Soup 3 Cans of Tomato Cream Soup 3 Boxes of Crackers 6 carrots (Interestingly, when you purchase these from Golden Harvest, you had a brief chat with her and learn she's the twin sister of Carrot Top from back in Appleloosa) 15 Granola bars 12-pack of Water bottles Bandages (For Nightshade's mummy costume) Your costume
You're now down to 30 bits, but your costume... It's so awesome and cool that you can't wait for Nightmare night to come. You check the time to see that it's almost 3 o'clock, so you close the Inventory as you head back to the school to pick up Nightshade. As you walk back, you begin to think back on some of the interesting things happened to you while you were shopping, one of those things was...
While you walk through town, you happen to stumble across a dark alley. Out of this alley comes a tough looking stallion in a leather jacket. "Yo punk, gimme all your bits! My tiny friend here has a knife!" He threatens as he holds up a colt who is holding a switchblade at you. "Gah! Wait! Don't hurt me! Here you can have all my- Wait... what am I doing?" you facehoof before Falcon Punching the mugger into a garbage bin. "Three years of planning wasted." he moans. "You're washed up." the knife colt tells him.
A FEW HOURS AGO
You had just bought the carrots from Golden Harvest and were searching for a grocery store when you happen to stumble across a dark alley. Out of this alley comes a tough looking stallion in a leather jacket.
"Yo punk, gimme all ya bits! My tiny friend here has a knife!" He threatens as he holds up a colt who is in turn holding a switchblade at you.
"Gah! Wait! Don't hurt me! Here you can have all my- Wait... what am I doing?"
You roll your eyes before you take up a fighting stance and call out,
FALCON PUNCH!
Your flame-encased hoof flies past the colt and slams into the would-be mugger's chest and sends him smashing into the brick wall behind him as the knife colt is flung into a garbage can next to the stallion.
"Three years o plannin wasted." he moans.
"Youse washed up, Unc." the knife colt tells him.
You shake your head in embarrassment of the two would-be robbers as you straighten your scarf before walking away. Another thing that happened was...
You pass by a Record Store and see a familiar unicorn in it tinkering with amps and stuff, so you go inside You: Hey Vinyl, how's it going V: Umm...sorry, do I know you? You: (thinking) Oh Crap, I forgot she hasn't met Tennant yet You: Oh, well I'm Baker Sylvester Tennant, I help out the Apples, and someone mentioned your name heh heh... V: Oh yeah, you're the dude who blew up the machine yesterday! That was radical! You: I know right? It had it coming, stupid evil machine V: Hey, hope you don't hate all machines buddy, because you ain't trashing up my store You: What? Oh no no no...(letting go of the vice grips you just started taking out) I only hate evil machines...yours aren't evil are they V: Evil? No. Wicked? Tartarus Ya! (Dubstep accompanies that declaration) You: Nice, so what you up to today? V: Oh nothing much, just making a sick ass costume for Nightmare Night! I'm gonna be Soundwave from Transformers! You: Cool V: Yup, check out the voice modulator (she speaks into microphone and it sounds like Soundwave) Laser Beak, prepare for flight You: That's Awesome...Wait! Soundwave...Decepticon...Machine...EVIL!!! (You Pull out your vice grips before she grabs them away from you with her magic and slaps you) V: Cut that out You: Sorry, guess my mind is still a little stupid after yesterday DFV: Biggest understatement of the millennium right there You: Grrr...Not now V: (she gives back your vice grips) sorry again, but no random destruction in my store unless I cause it. You: Yes Maam V: So...what you going as for Nightmare Night You: Well I was thinking of going as The Hooded Offender Her eyes widen as she grabs you and throws you to the ground and stands on your chest and starts interrogating you. V: Who sent you? How did you find out, was it the Griffons? You: Whoah, Wait, What? What are you talk... V: Why do you want to go as the Hooded Offender, and why did you specifically tell me this? You: I...I thought it would be cool to... V: BullSpit! You're a spy aren't you?! You: (scared) N-No! I'm actually...A Member! She narrows her eyes at you before saying calmly V: The Blackest Night falls from the skies... You: Huh? V: Finish it if you're a member You: Oh yeah, the mantra...ummm... She raises her hoof up to strike you You: Wait Wait! I got this The DFV helps you recite the rest Vinyl helps you up V: Sorry about that, can't be too careful with Celestia's goons running around. You: No worries V: But you should know better, President Fluttershy told us all to go dark until the time was right, and that means no wearing our hoods until the call is heard You: Oh, Sorry, I didn't know, I'm from Appleloosa and... V: Nah, it's fine, I guess I'm just a bit jumpy. Can't be too careful when your best friend keeps trying to blow your cover You: Huh? V: Oh, my friend Octavia, she keeps trying to raise awareness and recruit in not so subtle ways. She's in love with the freaking guy. You: Sh-she is? V: Oh heck ya! I mean the guy did save her life and everything, and she just rants on an on about how she wants to know the real him, and how the groupies and Fan Fillies you read about in the paper are just jumping on the bandwagon. Not that I blame them, I've met him before and he's kinda hot. You blush V: Never thought I'd say that about a Bug Pony guy, but he is, though I was a bit drunk when I met him, and might have said some embarrassing things at the time. You: heh heh... V: (she shakes her head) but anyway, back to the matter at hoof, don't wear your membership hood, we don't want to cause a scene and ruin it for all the little kids You: OK, I guess I'll go get a new one. V: Alright then, be more discreet in the future, and I'll see ya later She pulls you into a hug and whispers in your ear V: Hail The Horde You: Hail The Horde She let's go V: Now don't be a stranger, I DJ at the clubs at night, look me up sometime, wouldn't mind having some hot stuff cheering for me (she winks at you) You: (blushing and nervous) heh heh...will do, bye... As you leave and head for Barnyard Bargains for a costume, you can't help but think about all the mares that seem to be fawning over you You: Man, how is this my life? All these Mares throwing themselves at me, sometimes literally, and yet I can't do anything because I'll either be found out or I'm just to much of a hero to fall into that pit. DFV: Why not mate with the loose Unicorn you just talked with You: Cause I don't wanna blow my cover and I hardly know her...although Vinyl does have nice shapely flan...NO! BAD BUG! DFV: The stress of not having intercourse for over a year is getting to you, You: Tell me about it...Wait, A year? When did... But I've never... DFV: Oh...ahem...my mistake...(lying badly) You: What aren't you telling me? DFV: Let's just say our daughter was created in the traditional way...relatively speaking. You: What?! DFV: ... You: Quit dropping bombs like that and going silent! DFV: ... You: Grrrr...
You pass by a Record Store and see a familiar sunglasses-wearing unicorn in it tinkering with amps and stuff, so you go inside.
"Hey Vinyl, how's it going?" you greet.
Vinyl looks up from a stereo she's tinkering with and looks at you in confusion,
"Umm... sorry, do I know you?"
Oh horesapples, I forgot she hasn't met Tennant yet!
"Oh... well... I'm Baker Sylvester Tennant, I help out the Apples, and somelin-er somepony mentioned your name heh heh..." you stammer
"Oh yeah, you're the dude who blew up the machine yesterday! That was radical!"
"I know right? Although to be fair, it was self-defense as it tried to terminate me first. Stupid evil machine..." you mutter the last part.
"Hey, hope you don't hate all machines buddy, because you ain't trashing up my store."
"What? Oh no no no... " You let go off the vise-grips that you now realize you were subconsciously reaching for as you continue, "I only hate evil machines... yours aren't evil are they?"
"Evil? No. Wicked? Tartarus Ya!"
Dubstep music suddenly bursts out of nowhere to accompany her statement. After recovering from the surprise you say,
"Nice, so what are you up to today?"
"Oh nothing much, just making a sick ass costume for Nightmare Night! I'm gonna be Soundwave from Transformares!"
"Cool- Wait, animated serial or explosion-fest movies?"
"The serial, duh. Oh, and check out the voice modulator I made!"
Vinyl then gets out a microphone and speaks into it so she sounds like Soundwave,
You whip out your vise-grips with intent to smash before she quickly slaps your horn to make you drop it.
"Cut that out!"
"Sorry, guess my mind is still a little stupid after yesterday." you say as you rub your horn.
Biggest understatement of the millennium right there
Not. Now...
"Sorry again, but no random destruction in my store unless I cause it." Vinyl says as she hands you back your vise-grips.
"Yes Ma'am" you reply as you put them away.
"So... What are you going as for Nightmare Night."
"Well I was thinking of going as The Hooded Offend-*wham*"
She suddenly tackles you and stands on your chest as she starts interrogating you.
"Who sent you? How did you find out, was it the Griffons?"
"Whoah, Wait, What? What are you talk-" you stammer before she interrupts you.
"Why do you want to go as the Hooded Offender, and why did you specifically tell me this?"
"I... I thought it would be cool to-"
"BullSpit! You're a spy aren't you?!"
"N-No! I'm actually... A Member!"
She narrows her eyes at you before saying calmly,
"The Blackest Night falls from the skies..."
"Huh?"
"If you're a member then you should know it by heart. Finish it!"
"Oh yeah, the mantra... ummm..."
She raises her hoof up to strike you.
"Wait Wait! I got this! Uh..."
As easy as it would be to disembowel this pathetic excuse for a "musician", I suppose it would be in our best interests to maintain this facade...
With that, the D.F.V. guides you through the creed. Convinced that you're a fellow Horde member, Vinyl helps you up.
"Sorry about that, can't be too careful with Luna's goons running around. Not to mention rumors of other groups and even governments who want to capture and possibly harness the powers of the Hooded Offender."
"No worries." you reply as you put your Panama hat back on.
"But you should know better, President Fluttershy told us all to go dark until the time was right, and that means no wearing our hoods until the signal is heard."
"Oh, Sorry, I didn't know. I'm from Appleloosa and-"
"Nah, it's fine, I guess I'm just a bit jumpy. Can't be too careful when your best friend since foalhood keeps trying to blow your cover."
"Indee- Huh?" you say in confusion.
"Oh, my friend Octavia, she keeps trying to raise awareness and recruit in not-so-subtle ways. She's in love with the freaking guy."
"Sh-she is?"
"Oh hay ya! I mean the guy did save her life and everything, and she just rants on an on about how she wants to know the real him, and how the groupies, Fanfillies, and so-called 'Waifus' you read about in the paper are just jumping on the bandwagon. Not that I blame them, I've met him before and he's kinda hot."
You blush underneath your face mask and scarf as she continues,
"Never thought I'd say that about a stallion without a face, but he is. Though I was a bit drunk when I met him, and might have said some embarrassing things at the time..."
She blushes slightly and you chuckle nervously as you both remember Vinyl's offer to take her and Octavia to bed. Vinyl shakes her head and continues,
"But anyway, back to the matter at hoof, don't wear your membership hood. We don't want to cause a scene and ruin it for all the foals."
"OK, I guess I'll go get a new one."
"Alright then, be more discreet in the future and I'll see ya later."
She pulls you into a hug and whispers in your ear,
"Hail The Horde."
"Hail The Horde." you whisper back.
She let's go of you.
"Now don't be a stranger. I DJ at the clubs at night so look me up sometime, wouldn't mind having some hot stuff cheering for me." she lowers her sunglasses and winks.
You blush again and nervously say,
"Heh heh... Will do, bye..."
As you leave and head for Barnyard Bargains for a costume, you can't help but think about all the mares that seem to be fawning over you.
Man, how is this my life? All these Mares throwing themselves at me, sometimes literally, and yet I can't do anything because I'll either be found out or I'm just too much of a good guy to fall into that pit.
Why not indulge the loose unicorn's offer of a ménage-à-trois?
First, I have no idea what a "ma-nang a-tross" is. Second, I don't wanna blow my cover. And third, I barely know her... Although Vinyl does have nice shapely flan- NO! BAD BUG!
The vexations of being a virgin are getting to you, but I fail to see why you insist on remaining so. Judging from the number of "fanfillies" this "Horde" has, you could indulge in three fresh mistresses every nigh-
*spurt*
Your nose spurts out blood at the DFV's suggestion and you say,
"Luna, I'm just a few words away from every young stallion's fantasy and I can't live it cause of risk of certain death! Even if I did indulge in that, what kind of example would that be setting for Nightshade! Besides I'm saving it for marriage! Although herds are legal in Equestri- Look, I don't want to talk about this subject anymore so I'm ignoring you."
And with that, you continue your shopping.
BACK TO NOW
You can't help but blush thinking back on it at how Octavia might like you. You say "might" because Vinyl told you, and from what you know about her is that she tends to exaggerate. For all you know, Octavia just really likes to support you... hopefully-
"DADDY! *wham*"
Your strange thoughts are interrupted when a happy midnight blur slams into you. You look up and see your daughter, causing you to smile at her and ruffle her hair as you say,
"Hey Sweetie."
You then begin to tell her how you and her are gonna spend the whole day together. She looks at you with sparkling eyes as she says,
"Subarashī! Watashitachiha tsumori saisho ni nani o shite iru? (Awesome! What are we gonna do first?)"
You chuckle and say,
Spend the day with your daughter and have fun. Maybe hit up an arcade and show your epic skee-ball skills and earn enough tickets to get Nightshade a toy from the top shelf. Who knows maybe some of her friends will be there too.
"We're going to this Arcade I saw while I was shopping. We're gonna play all the games and win a bunch of awesome prizes!"
"Let's go!" Nightshade says with a smile.
You nod your head as you and Nightshade go towards were you saw the arcade.
AT THE ARCADE
You and Nightshade have been having a great time at the arcade! You had enough bits to buy a bunch of tokens to play the games there. You showed off your epic skee-ball skills, played some classic arcade games like Pac-Mare and Road Fighter, Nightshade got a adorable Yoshi plushie (that she comments isn't as nice as her "alicorn plushie") from the claw machine (while you failed miserably about eighteen times and were about to Falcon Punch the machine before Nightshade stepped in). Nightshade beat you (repeatedly) at several fighting games like Spirit Calibur and Fatal Kombat (although her foul language during the games did get you several shocked angry glares from the nearby parents). You and Nightshade were having a blast! Sadly you both go kicked out by the staff when Nightshade ate all the pizza in the food parlor (by the way, 25 Bits left).
As you are (literally) thrown out while Nightshade was only politely escorted out (good thing for the security stallion too, cause if he touched a hair on her mane... *snap*). You decide to give the nice arcade owner and security guard a nice compliment,
"WHAT THE BUCK DO YOU MEAN BANNED FOR LIFE?! THE SIGN AT THE STATION SAID THAT 'FOALS UNDER THE AGE OF 12 EAT FREE', AND SHE'S TECHNICALITY ONLY ONE! BESIDES I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT YOUR ANIMATRONICS ARE BUCKING CREEPY AND YOUR PIZZA SUCKS COMPARED TO PAPA PIZZAS!"
Now those stallions know how to make a mean pizza. Also now I'm banned from both this arcade...whats it called again?
You look up at the sign in front before continuing your mental rant.
"Freddy Fazbear's Pizza"... Huh, strange name... Whatever. Now where was I... Oh yeah! Now I'm banned from both "Freddy Fazbear's Pizza" and "Olive Grotto" thanks to Nightshade's appetite. Note to self; always order take-out if I ever plan on getting food from- Wait a second... WHO THE HAY IS TALKING TO MY BABY?!
You end your mental rambling as you see a brown colt wearing a propeller hat talking with Nightshade. Your fatherly instinct starts to kick in, but it goes into overdrive when you see them laughing. You think...
Obviously, Bugze and Nightshade go to town to rent out some of their Favorite Anime series, meeting a certain someling (Button) that Bugze instantly doesn't trust becuase he's, quote, "Too perfect for my Daughter!". Que Bugze getting the wrong idea. Que Facehoof from Nightshade. Que Blush from Button. (Button/Nightshade is best ship ) *Awkward silence must be included* ... ... ...
Get hit in the face with a bowling ball courtesy of Scootaloo.
That colt looks like he's getting along with my daughter... *snap* GET HIM!
You charge forward and jump in front of Nightshade as you focus your glowing orange eyes on the colt and yell,
"GET YOUR FILTHY ORGANS AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER!"
The colt freaks out and begins to stutter and you're about to start berating him-
*WHAM!*
When a bowling ball slams into the side of your head knocking you into the ground.
"Sorry Mister Vag-I mean Tennant!" you hear Scootaloo say from far away.
"DADDY!" Nightshade shouts in annoyance "Button Mash is a friend from school!"
"Oh..." you say before all three of you stand there in awkward silence.
"Sorry..." you mutter, breaking the silence,
"Eh, no problem." The now named Button Mash says. "I have to go now anyway. I think my mom needs me. See ya Nightshade."
"See ya Button." Nightshade replies before you two and Button walk off in separate directions before coming across...
FATHER-DAUGHTER MOVIE/GAME DAY just think of it playing games like super mareio or maretroid and movies like star trot, or the famous movies that TOTALLY wont scar nightshade for life Changeling. OHHH ITD BE SOOOO SUPER DUPER FUN
A "Balebusters" film reel store that's going out of business! You and Nightshade's eyes light up as you rush inside.
ONE SHOPPING SPREE LATER
You and Nightshade look over what you bought as you put them in The Inventory.
"Alien" & "Aliens" double feature reel "Coltmmando" film reel "Die Hoof" film reel "Death Notebook" anime (Neighponese animated) serial reels "Full Crystal Alchemist" anime serial reels "Seikrei" anime serial reels 3 pans of "Yippie Pop" Stovetop Popcorn. 10 Bits remaining
You and Nightshade plan on commandeering the Apples projector and borrowing their butter and salt for a Anime/Action movie marathon. Nightshade was bouncing so much in excitement that she tired herself out. As you put her into the Inventory, she sleepily says,
"I can't wait for the marathon Daddy... *yawn* promise you'll wake me up when it's time..."
You smile in a fatherly love as you say,
"Of course sweetie, now see ya later."
She nods her little head as she falls asleep before you fully put her into the Inventory. After you put her to bed you think,
I think it's time another friend of mine knows I'm still around... I just hope she won't whack me with some sort of potion staff before I even get to talk to her.
With that you head towards Zecora's hut...
go see Zecora (although you both swear you spotted Apple Bloom walking back from her hut...)
ONE TREK LATER
You arrive at Zecora's hut, but on your way there you swear you saw Applebloom sneak away from the hut, but you dismiss it as your eyes playing tricks on you. You walk over to Zecora's door and think,
Please don't be angry or now hate me...
You're about to knock when the door suddenly swings open and you're now staring at Zecora. You and Zecora stare at each other...
And stare...
And stare...
NOT WITH THE STARING AGAIN!
What do you do?
[FIXED] Episode 22: STOP OW HITTING OW ME OW WITH OW THAT OW STICK!
Remember what you said in "Episode 12: Time to Talk and Think!"
That's it, from now on if I ever get into a long awkward stare I'm just gonna slap myself to stop it.
Do that to break the awkward silence.
After awkwardly staring at each other for a bit (You can swear this is becoming a regular thing), you decide to break the tension before it solidifies.
You and Zecora continue to stare at each other in awkward silence. Your eye starts to twitch in annoyance as you think,
I swear to Luna this awkward staring thing is becoming a regular thing now! It's like some sort of running gag in a bad sit-com!
You suddenly feel a sense of irony at your though, but you ignore it as you think,
Wait a second, didn't I make a vow about this a couple days ago?
You suddenly get a flashback to a few days ago...
The two of you stare at each other awkwardly as you hear the TARDIS blink out of time. As you continue to stare at each other you can't help but think,
What is with me and long awkward stares with random ponies? I swear this is like the three-hundredth time this has happen to me. That's it, from now on if I ever get into a long awkward stare I'm just gonna slap myself to stop it. Speaking of which...
Taking your plan to heart, you hold up your hoof and...
*SLAP*
You mentally sigh as you think,
I really need to stop making painful vows. I'm gonna end up making one even stupider that'll end up with me getting killed. Oh well... This is gonna hurt...
You brace yourself for pain as you lift up your hoof and...
*SLAP*
Zecora looks at you in shock as you slap yourself, the force of the slap causing you to spin once. When you finally stop spinning you see Zecora holding back laughter. You give her a annoyed glare as she says...
Zecora takes a moment to compose herself before addressing you. "Greetings pony who has come to see me, I assume you require a remedy." she speaks in rhyme as always "But first I must find out from you, why you wear the clothes you do." "Oh, you mean my disguise. One, because it's awesome, obviously." you brag about your Doctor's outfit "And two..." you look around. "It helps me stay hidden." Zecora raises an eyebrow. "It's me, Bugzy." you explain, to which her eyes widen and she quickly drags you inside. "So it is true, I should have known that it was you. Since Canterlot you have returned, and many ponies you have spurned." She let's you know that she's aware of your "Equestria's most wanted" status, though she doesn't seem to angry about it. She continues "Though not from your own fault it would seem, a trickster's curse, blinding those unkeen." "Yeah, I swear if Discord ever gets free I'm gonna punch him in the d- Wait. How do you know about that? I thought everyone was affected by that." You realize that Zecora knows about Discord's mind rewriting. "My mind is a steel cage," she tells you "It would take much more for it to change."
"While that was quite the funny display, I wonder the purpose of it, if I may?"
You chuckle nervously before you say,
"Oh that... heheheh. You see I made a vow that when ever I get into a awkward staring contest with somelin-I mean somepony, I would slap myself to end the awkwardness. I thought it was a good idea... at the time at least."
Zecora just chuckles at your explanation and says,
"Greetings pony who has come to see me, I assume you require a remedy. But first I must find out from you, why you wear the clothes you do."
She gestures to your Doctor's Outfit (hmmm, that has a nice ring to it). You nod your head with excitement as you say,
"Oh, you mean my disguise. One, because it's awesome, obviously. I mean come on, look at this hat, oh and the scarf, never forget about the scarf. Scarf's are cool."
You gesture to your awesome 7th's Panama hat and the 4th's scarf for emphasis. Zecora just gives you a blank look, unimpressed by your awesome clothes. Your eye twitch's in annoyance as you think,
I swear to Luna one of these day's I'll meet someling who likes my fashion choices!
After making another vow that'll probably bite you in the butt later, you say to Zecora,
"And the other reason is..."
You look around cautiously before leaning in and whispering,
"It helps me stay hidden."
Zecora raises an eyebrow at your statement. You sigh as you lift you hat and lower your scarf and mask as you say,
"It's me, Bugze. The changeling you helped heal almost a year and a half ago."
Zecora's eyes widen and she quickly drags you inside.
"So it is true, I should have known that it was you. Since Canterlot you have returned, and many ponies you have spurned."
She let's you know that she's aware of your "Equestria's most wanted" status, though she doesn't seem to angry about it. She continues,
"Though not from your own fault it would seem, a trickster's curse, blinding those unkeen."
"Yeah, I swear if Discord ever gets free I'm gonna punch him in the d- Wait a minute..."
You realize that Zecora knows about Discord's mind rewriting.
"How do you know about that? I thought everyling was affected by that."
"My mind is a steel cage, It would take much more for it to change."
You turn your back to her as you say,
"Well that's nice. At least your not out to kill me-*whack*"
Zecora does some of that sh%$ from the monkey lion king doing staff whacking. (I don't know how to phrase anything...) While bugze cries out things along the lines of "Stop", "Quit it" and the immortal "Ow!"
She gives you a whack in the head after you reveal who you are. You: Ouch, Stop, Ow! Z: You moronic insensitive jerk! You are some piece of work! How could you get it into your head, to make your friends think you were dead? You: I had to, it was for the best. I did it to protect everyone. I'm sorry! She stops whacking you and just shakes her head Z: You are a very very stupid bug, (she then puts her arms out) Now come here, and give me a hug. After embracing the mare who just attacked you, you go inside and catch up.
These and other words which can't be typed without me getting banned for life from this site are said as Zecora repeatedly whacks you on the head and face with a staff... This is gonna take awhile...
SEVERAL WHACKS TO THE HEAD LATER
Zecora stops her endless assault of her death stick and says to your pained form,
"You moronic insensitive jerk! You are some piece of work! How could you get it into your head, to make your friends think you were dead?"
You shakily get up from the floor as imaginary flying pigs circle your head and you slur,
"I habd to, it fas for the bast. I vid it to protect everylung..."
You shake your head in an attempt to shake off the brain damage as Zecora shakes her head and says,
"You are a very very stupid bug,"
Zecora then drops her staff and then puts her hooves out,
"Now come here, and give me a hug."
You look at her in surprised, before smiling and saying,
"Remind me never to make you mad again. I don't think my skull can take another beat down... well from you at least."
You then hug Zecora back. After a couple of seconds, you and Zecora stop hugging and Zecora says,
"Now on that table my dear friend, that potion should your pained skull mend."
You nod your head in thanks and stumble over to the table Zecora mentioned. You pick up a black liquid jar and drink it, when...
As you drink it, Zecora enter from the door and look to you. "I think im late if you drink of that plate" Say Zecora As you ask what she meaning she tell you that what you drink is a potion that.... E) It was a potion to increase your luck but was incomplete and because of that it give more bad luck that good luck
E) Even more bad luck for Bugze
"No you misguided foo! Do not drink from that bad brew!"
You stop drinking from the potion and give Zecora a confused look as you ask,
"What do you mean?"
Zecora sighs and says in rhythm,
"That potion you drank was from a bad brew. Now it will bring bad luck to you."
You gulp in fear as you say,
"How much bad luck we talking here?"
Zecora sighs and says,
"More bad luck than Equestria has of good luck."
You can't help but think
Oh great...
Zecora pats you on the back reassuringly and says,
"Don't fret my friend, there's no need for scares the effect only last till the day after the Night of Nightmares."
You head drops even more towards the ground as you think,
Oh BUCK...
You then sigh and say,
"It's okay, I'm already Lady Luck's punching bag, what's a potion gonna do?"
You would live to regret those words.
Suddenly, you remember a certain filly that you saw on the way here, so you ask Zecora...
Also, you comment about Applebloom You: Oh and I think I saw Applebloom walking away from here, did she visit you Z: Oh yes indeed, she came to me in a time of need You: Is everything all right? Z: She had a fall and broke a tooth, so I went and fixed it for the poor youth You: Wait, You Fixed a Broke Tooth? Z: Yes I did, with this potion in this sack (pulls out bottle), and it speedily regrew her tooth back. You: Zecora, do you realize how rich you'll be if you patent that? Z: (she looks confused) I decided to help Applebloom because she is young and has no bits, but now with this information its... this is just a home remedy. Ponies don't have this, is that what you are telling me? You: Yep Z: Oh wow, with my tonic, I could change everything, I feel so happy, that I feel I could sing. Truly you say, I will receive a lot in pay? You: Oh heck ya, you're essentially regrowing bone! That's a miracle. Equestrian Healthcare sucks, I should know, I was once undercover as a Doctor with my Grandbuggy FlashBack Grandbuggy and you watched as every single illness and injury, from the flu, to broken bones was treated the same. Bed Rest, and soup, and occasionally random Bandages. G: These ponies know nothing, I can fix em up and have em out of here in 10 seconds. They just want more bits. Here watch You: Wait, Grandbuggy I don't think... Grandbuggy proceeded to then grab a pony in the waiting room and slam him on a table while injecting him with different things in needles, seemingly at random, even as the nurse tried to stop him N: Doctor, please, stop! G: SHUT UP NURSE!!! I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!!! N: Doctor! This is an intern, not a patient!!! The poor intern groaned in pain, even as he giggled at the things only he could see thanks to the drugs G: Oh. My Bad N: I'm going to have to ask both of you to leave. NOW!!! G: SHUT UP NURSE!!! And make out with me... N: Wha...mmff Then Grandbuggy forcibly kissed her into bliss as you both ran away. Even in his old age, Grandbuggy had moves. Present You: And that's how we lost our pretend medical license Zecora just stares at you in shock You: (cough) anyway, ya copyright that stuff, and you can move out of this evil scary place. Zecora: Perhaps I will do just that, but as for moving, I cannot just leave at the drop of a hat. You: Well OK, food for thought, anyway, I'll see you around and...(slap your forehead) no wait, I came here for potions. Get a potion to make NightShade's wings invisible so she doesn't always have to wear the vest, some healing salves which she calls Estus and gives you in a flask. The stuff smells and tastes like Sunny D. At some point, she seems confused because she keeps thinking she misplaced a potion of some kind. Heart's Desire or something. She said she was going to give it to a rooster or something.
"Oh and I think I saw Applebloom walking away from here, did she visit you?"
"Oh yes indeed, she came to me in a time of need."
"Is everything all right?" you ask in concern,
"She had a fall and broke a tooth, so I went and fixed it for the poor youth."
"Wait, You fixed a broken tooth?"
"Yes I did, with this potion in this sack,"
She pulls out a bottle before continuing,
"and it speedily regrew her tooth back."
You blink at her before asking,
"Zecora... do you realize how rich you'll be if you patent that?"
Zecora looks confused before saying,
"I decided to help Applebloom because she is young and has no bits, but now with this information its..."
She then starts to look contemplative as she asks,
"This is just a home remedy. Ponies don't have this, is what you are telling me?"
"Yep."
"Oh wow, with my tonic, I could change everything, I feel so happy, that I feel I could sing. Truly you say, I will receive a lot in pay?"
"Oh heck ya, you're essentially regrowing bone! That's a miracle. Equestrian Healthcare sucks, I should know, I was once undercover with my Grandbuggy in a hospital..."
FLASHBACK TO SEVERAL YEARS AGO
Grandbuggy and a hatchling you watched as every single illness and injury, from the flu to broken bones, was treated the same; Bed rest, soup, and occasionally random Bandages. Grandbuggy was disguised as a dark grey unicorn with black mane, glasses, a pink mustache, and his signature Bowler hat while you were wrapped in bandages because your disguise spell has always sucked. Grandbuggy took you here because you came down with a flu that only ponies normally get, but after seeing more "treatments", Grandbuggy rolls his eyes and says,
"These ponies know nothing, I can fix em up and have em out of here in 10 seconds. They just want to save on bits, Here watch."
"Wait, Grandbuggy I don't think..."
Grandbuggy proceeded to then grab a random pony in the waiting room and slam him on a table before injecting him with random nearby needles even as a nurse tried to stop him,
Grandbuggy then raises a drill to jam it into the pony's skull before the nurse grabs his hoof and screams,
"Doctor! This is an intern, not a patient!!!"
The poor intern groaned in pain, even as he giggled at the things only he could see thanks to the drugs.
"Oh. My Bad." Grandbuggy says nonchalantly.
"I'm going to have to ask both of you to leave. NOW!!!" The nurse orders sternly.
"SHUT UP NURSE!!! And make out with me..."
"Wha... mmff."
Grandbuggy suddenly grabs the nurse and pulls her into a forceful kiss which she struggles against at first before melting into the bliss. Grandbuggy then abruptly drops the nurse, grabs you, and bolts. Even in his old age, Grandbuggy had moves...
BACK TO THE PRESENT
"And that's how we lost our pretend medical license." you conclude causing Zecora to just stare at you in shock. Snapping out of the flashback, you shake your head and continue,
"Anyway, ya copyright that stuff, and you can move out of this evil scary place."
"Perhaps I will do just that, but as for moving, I cannot just leave at the drop of a hat."
"Well OK, food for thought anyway, I'll see you around and..."
You facehoof when you remember what you're here for,
"No wait, I came here for potions..."
"4 Transformation potions" (lasts for a week each) Added to Potion Sash "3 Healing Potions" Added to Potion Sash
You thank Zecora for the potions as you add them to your Potion Sash. You hug Zecora and are about to leave when you ask...
You: So are you gonna come to Nightmare Night Z: Oh yes I am, and I will see you there, that is if you dare (she chuckles mischeviously) I will give a presentation, that is sure to scare, so on that night, you best prepare. You: Alrighty then (why is everyone being cryptic all of a sudden?)
"So you gonna come to Nightmare Night?"
Zecora laughs... evilly?
"Oh yes I am, and I will see you there, that is if you dare. I will give a presentation, that is sure to scare, so on that night, you best prepare."
You give your best fake smile as you say,
"Alrighty then! Bye!"
As you leave Zecora's hut and head back towards the Apple farm for you and Nightshade's movie/anime marathon, you can't help but think,
Why is everyling being cryptic all of a sudden? Why can't they just speak straight to the point. What ever happened to 'yes' and 'no'?
ONE TREK LATER
Once you're back at the farm, you walk into the kitchen to get the popcorn ready for your marathon with Nightshade. Apple Bloom is there, about to take a drink a purple liquid in a vial. "Mr. Tennant! What are you doing here?" "What are YOU doing here? What is that stuff? You aren't drinking from the bottles under the sink, are you?" She tilts her head. "Why would I drink from the bottles under the sink? Are they good?" "What?! No, no, no! Never drink from the bottles under the sink!" "That's what Aplejack said about eating all my candy at once last Nightmare Night! I ate it all, and I felt great!" Applejack walks in. "What in tarnation is going on in here?" "Applejack, can I drink from the bottles under the sink?" "What? NO! B.S., what kind of BS are you telling my sister?" "ME? Nothing!" You point at the vial. "I just saw that thing. What even is that?" Apple Bloom hides the vial behind her back. "It's... something Pinkie Pie gave me. A new recipe." You facehoof. "That's even worse! You can't trust that crazy mare!" BAM! Applejack slams into you, pressing you off your feet and against the wall with a foreleg. "Why did you say that?! If... if this is going to work I need you to get along with my friends!" Oh, she has no idea what she just said, does she? Apple Bloom is looking back and forth between you two in confusion. You panic, and say the first thing that comes to mind. "What?" Not your smoothest moment, but it makes Applejack think. She blinks and lets you down, walking away with a blush and mumbled apology. So THAT'S how all these girls can sweep you off your feet... Shut it!
You arrive at the farm just before sunset, walk into the house, and said Hi to Granny Smith (who was sitting on her rocking chair knitting). You then go to the kitchen to get the popcorn ready for your marathon with Nightshade, when you see Apple Bloom sitting on a chair about to take a drink a purple liquid in a vial. She sees you, and she gets a shocked expression while saying...
"Mr. Tennant! What are you doing here?"
You look at her with a weird expression and say,
"What are YOU doing here? What is that stuff? You aren't drinking from the bottles under the sink, are you?"
She tilts her head in confusion,
"Why would I drink from the bottles under the sink? Are they good?"
You look at her horror while shaking you head back and forth in panic,
"What?! No, no, no! Never drink from the bottles under the sink!"
She tilts her head in confusion some more and says,
"That's what Applejack said about eating all my candy at once last Nightmare Night! I ate it all, and I felt great!"
You facehoof at her logic and are about to say something when Applejack walks in and says,
"What in tarnation is all that racket?"
Applebloom looks at Applejack and asks,
"Applejack, can I drink from the bottles under the sink?"
Applejack looks horrified and says,
"What? NO! B.S., what kind of BS are you telling my sister?"
You stutter, before you get angry and say,
"ME? Nothing!"
You point at the vial and continue,
"I just saw that thing. What even is that?"
Apple Bloom quickly hides the vial behind her back and says,
"It's... something Pinkie Pie gave me. Yeah! A new recipe."
You facehoof.
"That's even worse! You can't trust that crazy mar-!"
*BAM*
Before you could realize what happened, Applejack is suddenly pressing you off your feet and against the wall with a foreleg.
"Why did you say that?! If... if this is going to work I need you to get along with my friends!"
Did she just... Why did... Don't tell me... Is she planning to have me meet... HOLY MOTHER OF LUNA NOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU BAD LUCK POTION AND LADY LUCK, YOU CAN'T JUST HAVE HER KILL ME CAN YOU!
Apple Bloom is looking back and forth between you two in confusion. You panic, and say the first thing that comes to mind.
"What?"
Not your smoothest moment, but it snaps Applejack out of it. She blinks and lets you down, walking away with a blush and mumbled apology.
So THAT'S how all these girls can sweep you off your feet...
Shut it! At least I don't have twisted friendship beliefs!
They're not twisted, there true. I'm your only friend and that's the truth. Now go have fun with our daughter.
After you've concluded your business with Zecora, go back to Sweet Apple Acres just seconds before sundown, borrow the Apple's projector, butter, and salt (although they do express concern over the movies you're allowing Nightshade to watch), and have that marathon with Nightshade in your shed before you both fall asleep on the cot.
You just mutter in annoyance and yell after Applejack,
"Hey! You gonna tell me where the butter, salt, and projector are or are you gonna stuff my head into an oven this time?!"
Applejack just dumbly points in three different directions while continuing to walk away with a blush. Following her hooves, you grab the butter, salt, and projector and head to your shack. You cook the popcorn on the lantern as you set up the projector and put in the Alien/Aliens double-feature reel. When the popcorn is popped, salted, and buttered and the projector is set up, you take Nightshade out of the Inventory, but she wakes up when she smells the hot popcorn. That night was spent with making fun of cliches, screaming in terror at some of the nasty parts, and shouting at the awesome scenes (Nightshade devoured two of the bags of popcorn a third into the opening credits of Alien and you barely managed to stop her from eating the third, claiming it for yourself in spite of her pouting). You two fell asleep on the cot during the Death Notebook marathon.
THE NEXT MORNING
"B.S., GET UP!!!"
You jump out of bed in surprise and shout,
"AHHH HE HAS A CHESTHUGGER ON HIS FACE! KILL IT! KILL HIS ENTIRE FACE WITH FIRE FROM ORBIT! GAME OVER MAN!!! GAME-"
"Not now Mister Tennant! Applebloom needs your help!"
Your fatherly instinct kicks in as you run with Applejack into the house, up the stairs, and towards Applebloom's room. You ram open the door with your shoulder and see...
Applebloom tap dancing while twirling hoops on her tail and nose?
uuhhh? what needs fixing? what..( sees multiple cutie marks) i must still be dreaming
As Applebloom frantically tapdances, more cutiemarks appearing, her sister lifts you over her head, picks up her sister and starts bashing the two of you together yelling "Fix it! Fix it! Fix it! Fix it! Fix it!... Fix it! Fix it! Fix it!" "Stop that, it's not helping! Get a hold of yourself!" Bugzy screams and slaps her upside the head, to which she gives him a death glare. "Sorry." "S'all right, just do somethin' quick! Mah sister's gonna get exhausted at this rate!" Applejack begs you.
As Applebloom continues to tap and twirling hops on her nose and tail, you can't help but ask in confusion,
"Uhhhh, what's the problem here Applejack? All I see is Applebloom tap dancing and-*flash*
You stop mid-sentence when something flashes on Applebloom's upper thigh and the next thing you know, Applebloom has another cutie cutie mark! This one of a dumbbell! Out of nowhere Applebloom picks up a weight that wasn't there before and begins to lift it like it was nothing! You can only stare in shock, before you just shake your head and say,
"I... I must be dreaming. When is someling gonna write my name in the Death Notebook? I'd like to wake up screaming no-"*slap*
Your rant is stopped when Applejack slaps you across the face. You would have looked at her in shock, but this wasn't the first (or last) time she's hit you. She gives you a glare before she lifts you over her head, picks up her sister, and starts bashing the two of you together while you repeatedly yell in pain because the dumbbell Applebloom had is still in her mouth, so Applejack keeps smashing your face into it while she starts to yell in the tone of a immature adult,
Having had enough of Applejack's nonsense you decide to take drastic measures...
*Slap*
You slap Applejack upside her head, causing her to gasp in shock and let go of you and Applebloom. While Applebloom goes back to lifting the weight and tap dancing, you just sigh in relief as you put your Panama hat back on your head as you say,
"Stop that, it's not helping! Get a hold of yourself!"
Applejack shakes off her surprise and gives you her usual death glare. You quake a little in fear at her stare and you quickly mumble a sorry while thinking,
You know, after being on the receiving end of her death glare so often, you think I would be used to it by now...
Applejack stops giving you the stink eye as she sighs and says,
"S'all right, just do somethin' quick! Mah sister's gonna get exhausted at this rate!"
You nod your head in agreement. Usually in these kinds of situations you would be running around in a circle like a headless chicken, but since this is a foal that's in trouble, you need to stay serious. You look back to the tap dancing dumbbell lifting filly in front of you and ask,
"So.... what do we do?"
Applejack gives you a confused expression and says,
"I don't know. You're tha fixer here, so... I don't know... fix her!"
You give her a "Are you kidding me" look before snarking,
Sarcastically ask Applejack why she's not just giving Applebloom bed rest, soup, and random bandages.
Reply: "Just cause I'm dressed like the Doctor doesn't mean I'm A Doctor!"
"Just cause I'm dressed like the Doctor doesn't mean I'm A Doctor! Besides, shouldn't we just put her to bed, give her some soup, and put some bandages around her extra cutie marks. I'm sure she'll be fine in the morning."
Applejack just glares at your sarcasm and says,
"Are ya gonna help or not!?"
You nod your head quickly before you notice another cutie mark pooping up on Applebloom. You begin to freak out when...
Nightshade walks in is excited/jealous that Apple Bloom has a Cutie Mark, but once she realizes the situation is NOT good, she solves the problem by doing what any calm rationally little filly would do: Nightshade: "Hawokuishibaru!" (Clench your teeth!) AJ, AB, and/or you: "What?" Nightshade then proceeds to K.O. Apple Bloom with a Falcon Kick (bonus points if AB slams into Applejack)
Nightshade walks in and says,
"*Yawn* Daddy, what was all that-"
She freezes when she sees Appleblooms cutie marks, she then gasps and says,
"Oh wow you got your cutie mark...s? Daddy, can ponies get more then one cutie marks?"
"Uh, no sweetie. Apple Bloom is just experiencing a problem that I don't know how to fix."
Nightshade nods her head and says,
"I got it!"
She then walks over to Apple Bloom and says,
"Hawokuishibaru!" (Clench your teeth!)
"What?" You and Applejack say before Nightshade declares,
"FALCON KICK!" before her flame-encased hoof slams into Apple Bloom, scattering the things she was holding, and sending her crashing into the wall.
Applejack gasps in shock and screams,
"APPLEBLOOM!"
But before she can check on her, Applebloom suddenly gets two more cutie marks; one is a super buff muscle and the other is a foreign symbol. Applebloom hops back up and says.
"Oh no! Sacrebleu! Plus de marques de cutie! Qu'est-ce c'est?! Je parle prançais?!" (Oh no! Darn it! More cutie marks! What's this?! I speak Prench?!)
"My sister's speakin' in fancy!" Applejack declares.
N: Daddy, I think she's possessed! You: You're right! (You turn towards AJ and hold her by the shoulders and scream) You: I need a young Celestian Priest, and an Old Celestian Priest! AJ: Now where in the world am I gonna get those this time of night? You: I DON'T KNOW!!! Fine I'll do it myself, I've done this before AJ: You Have? You: Well I watched The Exorcist, so I'm sure I got this AJ facehooves
"Daddy, I think she's possessed!" Nightshade says,
*ding* "You're right!"
Applebloom tries to say no, but it comes out in the aggressive foreign language.
You turn towards Applejack, grab her by the shoulders, and scream,
"Now where in tarnation am I gonna get those this time of night?"
You throw your hooves into the air dramatically and scream, "I DON'T KNOW!!! Fine I'll do it myself, I've done this before-"
"You Have?" Applejack asks,
"Well I watched The Exorcist and Constanpastern, so I'm sure I got this."
Applejack facehooves, but when she looks back up, you and Nightshade have already tied Applebloom up. She screams in horror,
"What in tarnation are you two do-"
Ignoring her, you and Nightshade pull out two sticks that were in the room and begin to,
You: Unholy Demon who hath infected this child, I call you out, in the Name of the Sun! Applebloom gets another cutiemark You: Curse you unholy Abomination, THE SUN SHINES ON ALL! THE POWER OF THE SUN COMPELS YOU! THE POWER OF THE SUN COMPELS YOU! IN THE NAME OF THE SUN I CAST YOU OUT!!!! PRAISE THE SUN!!!
"Unholy Demon who hath infected this child, I call you out, in the Name of the Sun! Into the light I command thee!"
Applebloom gets another cutie mark. You begin to chant louder,
"Curse you unholy Abomination, THE SUN SHINES ON ALL! THE POWER OF THE SUN COMPELS YOU! THE POWER OF THE SUN COMPELS YOU! IN THE NAME OF THE SUN I CAST YOU OUT!!! INTO THE LIGHT I COMMAND THEE!!!"
Nothing happens, though you hear the DFV groaning in what sounds like pain before she shouts DFV: Stop It! It's clearly not working, just stop you idiot! (pained/panicked) Applebloom instead gets a sun cutiemark with a face in it. AB: Hoho! Let us engage in Jolly Co-operation (she gets a sword out of nowhere and runs towards the door before AJ stops her) AJ: No you don't young lady, What do we do now? You: I don't know, I'm out of ideas...wait! Applebloom, did you drink that liquid after I told you not too? AB: Yes... You: AHA! I should have known. The Pink Menace did this! AJ: Pinkie? But why would Pinkie Pie... You: Applebloom said it was a new recipe, The Pink Psycho is testing it out and will soon unleash it onto the populace. AJ: That don't make a lick of sense, why would she do that? You: Because EVIL!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
Nothing seems to be happening, although you hear the DFV groaning in what sounds like pain before she shouts,
Stop It! It's clearly not working, just stop you idiot!
You ignore the DFV and are about to repeat the chant when Applebloom gets a sun cutiemark with a face in it.
"Hoho! Let us engage in Jolly Co-operation!" Apple bloom says as a sword pops out of nowhere into her mouth. She uses the sword to slice the ropes off her and she runs past Nightshade towards the door before Applejack grabs her.
"Oh no you don't young lady! What do we do now?"
"I don't know, I'm out of ideas... Wait!"
Realizing something, you ask Apple Bloom,
"Applebloom, did you drink that liquid after I told you not too?"
"Yes..." she says after hesitating for a while.
"AHA! I should have known. The Pink Menace did this!"
"Pinkie? But why would Pinkie Pie-"
"Applebloom said it was a new recipe, right?" you ask rhetorically, "The Pink Psycho is testing it out and will soon unleash it onto the populace!"
"That don't make a lick of sense, why would she do that?"
"Because EVIL!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!"
Applejack and even Nightshade just look at you like you've lost your mind before Applejack says,
"Maybe magic... nah magic won't work." You suddenly get an idea, but for some reason it won't come to you. So you decide to try and think of it. But you keep getting distracted by Applejack, who keeps walking back and forth mumbling ideas of how to fix Applebloom. So, you don a Trottingham Highland accent and say,
"Shut up."
Applejack looks at you confused and starts to say something, but you inter-up her by saying,
When everyling in the room shuts up, you then ask her,
"What did you say?"
She mumbles in confusion, which causes you to yell,
"SPEAK YOU BACKWARDS MARE! WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"
She then back up a bit at your outburst and says,
"I... I said magic wo-"
You cut her off and say,
"That's it... magic! Magic, magic, magic. Where have I... Ah ha!"
You suddenly get a flashback to one of your Grandbuggys great words of wisdom,
You see Apple Bloom with that strange ill or problem and you try a healing potion in Apple Bloom, but it don't work. After you see it don't work, you decide to try to search for the great wise of your Grandbuggy Flashback You remember one time you and your grandbuggy worked foalsitting GB: Ahhh!!!! He is infected with magic!!! B: What? Is only a little cold, I think he only need a little of dandelion soup and rest GB: Idiot! That don't work! Magic must defeat Magic! Say your grandbuggy and take out a strange mask, similar to the ones in Zecora house as he begin to do a strange dance around the poor foal and try a strange purple potion in the poor foal End of Flashback You take out the image of the Grandbuggy, and you think... "I can only fix something physical... Give me something broken and I could try to fix it... This is magic! As my Grandbug... I mean, grandpony say... Magic Must defeat magic!" Say Bugzee "I told you, but you didn't listen!" Say Granny Smith "Yeah... Yeah... So... Magic?" Ask Applejack "Magic" You answer Is then that you follow Applejack to the library, the little piece of Tartarus that is the home of that evil unicorn.
You remember one time you and your grandbuggy worked foalsitting,
"Ahhh!!!! He is infected with magic!!!" Grandbuggy screams.
"What? It's only a little cold grandbuggy, I think he only need a little of dandelion soup and rest-"
"Idiot! That don't work! Magic must defeat Magic!"
Grandbuggy snaps before he takes out a strange mask similar to the ones in Zecora house as he begin to do a strange dance around the poor foal and try a strange purple potion on him. After awhile, a strange green blob came out of the foal's mouth. Grandbuggy smiled at his work and said,
"See #$#%%$ that's how you exco-"
"Uh Grandbuggy?"
"Huh? Yes @#$3?"
"What happens if the magic starts to come to life?"
"Oh that's simple, we run like Tarturus."
You point behind him to show that the green blob of magic is now glowing and has red eyes. Grandbuggy looks at it for a while before turning back to you while whistling,
"Woooo...didn't see that coming."
...
"RUN!"
BACK TO THE PRESENT
You pace back and forth and make wild hoof gestures as everypony in the room looks at you strangely while you ramble,
"I can only fix something physical... Give me something broken and I could try to fix it... This is magic! As my Grandbug... I mean, grandpony says... Magic Must defeat magic!"
"I told you, but you didn't listen!" Granny Smith yells from downstairs,
You can't help but think,
What the? How did she hear us? Where upstairs and shes downstairs-never mind. Tell plan now, think about how a elder heard us later.
With reluctance, you explain your plan,
"Your friend Twilight is some sort of magic expert, right?"
"Well Twi is the element of magic-"
"Whatever, the point is she could know what's wrong with Apple Bloom and how to fix it!"
"By tarnation, yer right!" Applejack exclaims as she hugs you before grabbing Apple Bloom and taking her to Twilight's. When she leaves the room, you have Nightshade hop back into the Inventory, run after Applejack and say,
"Good, you guys find the cure, I' gonna go to the pony who made this magical potion disease. EVILLLLLL!"
You then run off in an opposite direction...
AJ: Wait Tennant! Grrr, that ain't gonna end well AB: Pinkie can handle herself, please sis, I'm begging you help me AJ: Fine, we'll get Twilight.
"Wait Tennant! Grrr, that ain't gonna end well." Applejack growls,
"Pinkie can handle herself, please sis, I'm begging you, help me!"
"Fine, lets get to Twilights!" Applejack declares as she gallops towards the library.
AT SUGARCUBE CORNER A FEW HOURS LATER
You kick down the door to Sugar Cube Corner and rush in. You: Pink Menace! I call you out Suddenly the lights come on P: Surprise You: Gaaahhh!!! (you fall back in fear, apparently she set up a party for you) P: Hi, My Pinkie Sense told me someone was coming to surprise me, so I decided to surprise them first. Were you surprised? Were You? You: Eee...heh heh(catching breath...viill P: Hee Hee, no I'm Pinkie Pie. You came looking for a job, but I said we weren't hiring, but then I tried to throw a party for you since you were new, but you growled and said no and called me mean names and made me cry, but then I figured you were just having a bad day, but I still felt sad so I had Applejack pelt you with Apples and call it Dodge training, so now we're even, and look you finally came to your party!!! You: I...What? P: We also worked together to win the Apple Cider contest, nice moves by the way, and then you made Dashie cry, but then you were nice and made her like you a lot and you made AJ jealous and then we had more cider and...(you shove your hoof in her mouth)
After a few hours of running around town looking for Sugarcube Corner (your sense of direction is almost as bad as Zoro's) you kick down the door to Sugar Cube Corner and rush in screaming,
"Pink Menace I call the out, put thou hands in thi air and *Ahem* dang what was with that ye olden talk, why-!"
Suddenly the lights come on and a pink form pops up right in your face!
"SURPRISE!"
"Gaaahhh!!!"
You fall back in fear, not noticing the cake and "Welcome to Ponyville" Banner.
"Hi, My Pinkie Sense told me someone was coming to surprise me, so I decided to surprise them first. Were you surprised? Were You?"
"Eee... heh heh... viill" you gasp while trying to catch your breath.
"Hee Hee, no I'm Pinkie Pie. You came looking for a job, but I said we weren't hiring, but then I tried to throw a party for you since you were new, but you growled and said no and called me mean names that made me sad before leaving, but then I figured you were just having a bad day, but I still felt sad so I had Applejack pelt you with Apples and call it 'Dodge training', so now we're even and look you finally came to your party!!!"
"I... What?" you say in confusion, but Pinkie just continues rambling.
"Normally Mr. Cake would come down and yell at me to be quiet since Mrs. Cake is pregnant, but since they're visiting Mr. Cake's parents for the next few days, WE CAN BE AS LOUD AS WE WANT! We also worked together to win the Apple Cider contest, nice moves by the way, and then you made Dashie cry, but then you were nice and made her like you a lot and you made AJ jealous and then we had more cider and-mmph!"
You roughly jam your hoof into Pinkie's mouth to shut her up and scream in the Royal Canterlot Voice,
"QUIET!"
You: Alright, enough talking Psycho, you are going to pay for your crimes. WHY DID YOU POISON APPLEBLOOM! P: (GASP) I POISONED APPLEBLOOM?! OH NO! HOW COULD I HAVE DONE SUCH A HORRIBLE THING?! Wait, I haven't seen Applebloom since her friends brought her in for a party to cheer her up, but it didn't work. You: Liar, she drank a purple liquid that she said she got from you and that it was your new recipe, and now she's growing cutiemarks and can't stop! P: I did? I don't remember doing that. But if she says it was me, then I must've You: That's right, and I'm here to stop you before you infect the others and take over Equestria with your insane hoof P: Oh NO! What kind of Monster am I? I must be stopped! Take me in, please! You: I won't stop untill...wait, huh? P: Take me in. You: ...I kind of thought we would battle or something P: Why? If I'm making horrible super weapons and not remembering them then I need help before I hurt anyone else. You: Oh...Well...OK Then let's... You both hear a scream outside P: Oh NO! What Have I done now? You both look outside and see ponies running away in fear, and some with Hazmat suits on as Applebloom keeps doing different things and is covered in CutieMarks
"Alright, enough talking Psycho! You are going to pay for your crimes. WHY DID YOU POISON APPLEBLOOM?!"
Pinkie gasps in horror as she recoils from your hoof,
"I POISONED APPLEBLOOM?! OH NO! HOW COULD I HAVE DONE SUCH A HORRIBLE THING?! Wait, I haven't seen Applebloom since her friends brought her in for a party to cheer her up, but it didn't work."
"Liar, she drank a purple liquid that she said she got from you and that it was your new recipe, and now she's growing Cutie Marks and can't stop!" you accuse.
"I did? I don't remember doing that. But if she says it was me, then I must've-"
"That's right," you interrupt "and I'm here to stop you before you infect the others and take over Equestria with your insane plan to turn them all into cupcakes and wear their leftover skin!"
"Oh NO! What kind of Monster am I? I must be stopped! Take me in, please!"
"I won't stop until- wait, huh?" you say in confusion,
"Take me in." Pinkie says as she shamefully puts her head down and offers her hooves.
You stand there in confusion and subconsciously reach for hoof-cuffs when you remember,
Uh... wait. I don't have any cuffs!
Shaking your head to snap you out of it, you say,
"Really? I kinda thought you would start ranting about your plans before sucker-punching me and jumping out that window so we would have some climactic carriage chase that destroys half the town before we engage in a one-on-one brawl which ends with you standing over me about to bring down the knife onto my skull before my partner pulls a 'Big Darn Heroes' and shoots you in the back of the head and then either me or her spouts off some awesome one-liner as your lifeless body falls over?"
"Why? If I'm making horrible super weapons and not remembering them then I need help before I hurt anyone else."
"Oh... Well... Anticlimactic, but OK. Then let's..."
You're about to take out your duct tape when both hear a scream outside,
"Oh NO! What Have I done now?"
You both rush to a window, look outside, and see ponies running away in fear (some with Hazmat suits on) as Applebloom keeps doing different things and is covered in Cutie Marks. You see Zecora, Applejack, and Twilight standing in the middle of the road...
You drag Pinkie to AJ, Twilight and Zecora who explains that the Cutie Pox vaccine is through a flower that only blooms with truth. You: Alright then, Confess you fiend P: It's true, I poisoned her and was planning on doing the same thing to the town even though I don't remember it...(she turns to you) right? You: Right Pinkie: Forgive me! (starts bawling) The Flower doesn't bloom AJ: Pinkie, only the truth will make this flower grow You: That wasn't the truth? P: I'm not a super genius criminal mastermind? Yay! You: Dang it! So Close!
You rush out of Sugarcube Corner and drag Pinkie to Applejack, Twilight and Zecora who all look at you in shock,
"Mister Tennnat! What are you doing?" Twilight asks in shock,
"Not much, just capturing a psycho criminal mastermind- Oh hi Zecora, what're you doing here?"
"I was walking along like a fox, when I heard this business of the Cutie Pox."
"Cutie Pox?" you ask in confusion
That disease sounds familiar, but it was probably ANOTHER class I either skipped or slept through... DARN YOU LAZY PAST ME!!!
"it's a puzzling pony plague afflicted a population of ponies back in the paleopony period!"
"Heh, say that ten times fast!" you snark.
"I already used that joke!" you hear Spike yell in the distance. Twilight rolls her eyes in annoyance and says,
"Apple Bloom has it, but Zecora thinks she has the cure!"
"Good, good, good! Ahhh. Great!" you say.
...
"What is it?" you ask Zecora.
"As I have already said before, so pay attention for I will repeat no more; A cutie pox cure I have forsooth, for healing power is in the Seeds of Truth. These seeds must be planted in the ground. With the truth, they'll grow, and the cure is found. The Seeds of Truth do hold the cure, but one must speak words, true and pure."
"Alright then, Confess you fiend!" you say as you roughly push Pinkie towards the trio causing Applejack and Twilight to scowl at you.
"It's true, I poisoned her and was planning on doing the same thing to the town even though I don't remember it... (she turns to you) right?"
"Right." you say as their scowls at your quickly turn into shocked looks at Pinkie.
"Pinkie, only the truth will make this flower grow." Applejack says.
"That wasn't the truth?" You ask in disbelief.
"I'm not a super genius criminal mastermind who want to turn ponies into cupcakes and wear their skin? Yay!"
Pinkie jumps up in the air and freezes in the air like in those old sit-com serials as you mutter,
"Luna darnit! So close!"
Twilight looks at you suspiciously, but you quickly nervously chuckle it off as everypony starts to say the truths,
"I once burned a book and never told anypony." said Twilight
"I drink all the cider before cider season started last year on a dare from Rainbow Dash!" said Applejack
"I ate all the cakes the Fillydelphian Royal Guard got back from that meanie old ugly Hooded Offender and blamed it on him!" said Pinkie
Hey! I am not ugly! And they say I'm the bad guy, yet you did that! I have half a mind to-Gah never mind. I need to think of something to say since now everyling is staring at me to say something...
So...
The seeds of truth Zecora planted aren't sprouting! Ponies have been saying the truth, but nothing's happening! Tell them you don't want to mate with Applejack. I'm not going to say that! So you DO want to mate with Applejack? No! She's right there! And so are her hooves. And my face isn't far enough away from them. Very well. Call Celestia a fat flank. "I'm not going to call Celestia a fat flank!" You freeze, realizing you just said that out loud. Incredibly, a stem of a flower grows from the ground. Twilight gasps. "Discord's magic must still be taking an effect! The seeds of truth will only grow from lies now! Keep going, Mr. Tennant!" You gulp. "Uh, my daughter was born in an alternate dimension inside my saddle bags?" The flower grows again. "I'm living my life indebted to a time machine riding immortal being!" The flower begins to bloom. "I once beat Contra without using the thirty lives cheat!" The flower blooms in full, and you die a little inside, knowing that everypony will think that was a lie. No one will ever know your true greatness.
Tell them you don't wish to mate with Applejack. the DFV suddenly says,
What? I'm not going to say that!
So you DO want to mate with Applejack?
No! She's right there! And so are her hooves. And my face isn't far enough away from them. Although she does have really well-toned leg- NO! BAD BUG!!!
Very well. Call the false sun "goddess" a fat flank...
"I'm not going to call Celestia a fat flank!"
You freeze and throw your hooves over your mouth hidden beneath the face mask and scarf, realizing you just said that out loud. Incredibly, a stem of a flower sprouts from the ground, Twilight gasps,
"Discord's magic must still be taking an effect! The seeds of truth will only grow from lies now! Keep going, Mr. Tennant!"
You gulp.
"Uh, my daughter was born in an alternate dimension inside my saddle bags?"
The flower grows again.
"I'm HUGELY in debt to a time machine-riding immortal madman of a alien!"
"I blinked in front of a Weeping Pegasus and lived!"
"I'm Equestria's Most Wanted!"
"I'm banned from the Isla de Pelegostos Island, Freddy Fuzzbear's Pizza, and Olive Grotto!"
"Applejack is a dumb flank." (this got you a scowl from the cowpony)
"My Grandpony once got us chased by a zillion mares cause he was trying to teach me how to make a "flank call"."
"I once beat Contra before breakfast without using the thirty lives cheat!"
The flower grows and blooms more with every "lie" and you die a little inside, knowing that Nopony will ever know your true greatness...
When the flower blooms, Zecora plucks the seed for the potion and thanks you. The After all the ponies leave and congratulate Bugze for getting the bud to grow, Bugze thinks in sadness,
Why is it that all MY truths are the only ones that worked? Now everyling thinks they're lies. I really hate that bad luck potion and Lady luck.
You are about to walk away when the plant suddenly starts to grow. You back away in shock when the plant spells out
"THE NIGHTMARE COMES"
Then, the plant suddenly burst into flames! You stare at it with fear and shock and can only think,
Holy mother of Luna... Doctor needs to know about this... Now!
Your about to take out a notebook to write the Doctor a note, when Applejack shouts,
"Come on Hon-I mean Mister Tennant! Ah need ya help making sure Applebloom doesn't hurt herself while Zecora can make the cure!"
You sigh and are about to respond when,
"I'm on it!"
You look down in surprise to see Nightshade out of the Inventory and heading towards Apple Bloom with intent to try another Falcon Kick.
"Oh no you don't!" you say as you grab your daughter in time.
That note will have to wait till later...
HALF AN HOUR LATER
You sigh for the millionth time time that day as you think,
Why me...
After Applebloom was cured and wrote a letter to Solar Flank, she and Nightshade ran off with Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle. Applejack then said that since it's a Friday and the schoolhouse was closed due to the whole "Cutie Pox" scare, your "job" for the rest of the day is to watch over the little ones. It's not that you don't mind watching them, it's just that you were hoping to finish that movie/anime marathon with Nightshade later. You smile a little as you watch Nightshade and the CMC rushing towards the apple field laughing and having fun. You can't help but think,
Oh well, how bad can it b-
You quickly stop when you realize you almost thought the cliche that guarantees bad luck. Unnoticed by you, a evil, female voice, laughs in the distance, and thunder ring's throughout the area. You get a shiver down your spin and you can't help but think,
Why do I get the feeling that I just jinxed myself... again
What do you do?
[FIXED] Episode 24: The CMC...Are A Pain In The Flank.
You shiver with foreboding at your apparent jinx. DFV: So you felt it too? That is...unsettling You: What? What is it? DFV: Something powerful enough to cause even a weakling such as you to feel it's presence...Something wicked this way comes. You: Ya? I figured as much, Ponyville just seems to be a beacon for all things unholy and evil. I'll just deal with it like always. DFV: Agreed, you best keep Night Shade close, keep her safe You: Don't I always? Besides, I'm starting to get a little creeped out about how much "Caring" you seem to be showing towards her. DFV: Should a mother not care for her child? You: Well it wasn't that long ago that you were referring to her as a tool in order for me to take vengeance, so ya, no mother of the year awards for you. DFV: I've always wanted her safe, even if my reasons have changed since I've been trapped in your feeble mind. I do care for her greatly. You: Sure you do (sarcastically) DFV: I DO! And if you want to continue caring for her yourself, then you should get those girls away from that bridge! You: What are you...(see's CMC on bridge with bungee cords around them) CMC: CUTIEMARK CRUSADERS BUNGEE JUMPERS YAY!!! You: Whoa! NO NO NO NO!!! (you grab them all before they jump) cut that out CMC: Awwwww
You shiver with foreboding doom at the apparent laughing jinx you swore you heard a few moments ago.
So you felt it too? That is... unsettling
You flinch at hearing the dark whisper and mentally respond,
What? What is it?
Something powerful enough to cause even a weakling such as you to feel it's presence... By the pricking of my hoof, something wicked this way comes...
Yeah? I figured as much, Ponyville just seems to be a beacon for all things unholy and evil. I'll just deal with it like I always do...
Running around like an imbecile before I need to bail you out? the DFV scoffs, Regardless, you better keep Nightshade close, keep her safe.
Ignoring her insult, you respond,
Don't I always? Besides, I'm starting to get a little creeped out about how much "Caring" you seem to be showing towards her.
Should a mother not care for her child?
Well, it wasn't that long ago that you were referring to her as a mere tool of vengeance, so ya, no mother of the year award for you anytime soon.
I've always wanted her safe, even if my reasons have more-or-less changed since I've been trapped in your feeble mind. I do care for her greatly.
Sure you do, and I'm the king of Equestria. you snark.
I DO! And if you wish to continue caring for her yourself, then you should get those girls away from that bridge!
What are you-
You stop and your eyes widen in shock when you see the Cutie Mark Crusaders on the edge of a bridge with bungee cords around them.
"CUTIEMARK CRUSADERS BUNGEE JUMPERS YAY!!!"
"Whoa! NO NO NO NO!!!" You yell as you rush over and grab all four of the fillies before they could splatter themselves.
"Cut that out!"
"Awwwww..." the four say in disappointment.
With a roll of your eyes, you go look for a tree with decent shade to relax under. You found a suitable tree a few seconds later, but before you could relax you hear...
CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS MAD SCIENTISTS!!! YAY!!!
"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS MAD SCIENTISTS!!! YAY!!!"
You look over at the CMC and Nightshade in horror and see them wearing labcoats while being surrounded by jars of chemicals. You think,
WHERE IN THE NAME OF LUNA DID THEY GET THOSE CHEMICALS!? And is that... IS THAT LIQUID NITROGEN! WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND OWNS LIQUID NITROGEN!
Sweetie Belle is about to put her hoof into the liquid nitrogen, so you desperately dash over there just in time to you slap the bottle away from the girls (sadly, this resulted in an early winter for an anthill nearby). You glare at the fillies with disappointment as you say,
"That would have to be the most dumbflank thing I have ever seen, and trust me when I say I've seen and done alot of dumbflank things!"
The time I slept though the "Fake Being a Parent" lesson comes to mind. You think to yourself in a deadpanned tone.
The fillies give ashamed looks as they look down and say,
"We're sorry."
You sigh in relief as you say,
"Good... now let's go somewhere where you won't be near any dangerous chemicals. Also, you better return all this equipment back to the rightful owner. Okay?"
They nod their heads and say,
"Okay!"
They walk away with the chemical equipment in hoof (hopefully to return the equipment) as you sigh and are about to go after them to make sure they don't cause anymore trouble, when you see...
And later you come across a sad looking Pinkie Pie. You: ummm Hey P: ... You: Do you need something? P: ... You: OK then, well I guess I'll P: Why? You: Huh? P: Why did you accuse me of being a murderer? You: Oh well because...(You have no good reason) P: I mean, what was all that about yesterday? You: Uhh... P: I mean, I know you don't like me very much for some reason, but why would you say such a hurtful thing? You: Well, I guess I was just... overreacting? P: Overreacting...OVERREACTING!!! You get a little scared P: You made me confess that I was gonna skin ponies and make them into cupcakes. That's not funny! That's...I don't even know what that is! You: Umm... P: It was all kind of silly in hindsight, but everypony heard me say that, and the flower didn't bloom! You: Oh... P: It bloomed for all your "lies" but not that obvious one...Now some ponies think I'm gonna make them into cupcakes (starts sniffling) You: I'm...I'm sorry... I just got carried away. P: I could never do such a thing, to anypony or anything... So why didn't the flower bloom? (starts crying) Is there a part of me that was telling the truth? (Starts Bawling) You: (thinking) Luna Dang It! Why do I keep making Mares cry? Grrr...curse you conscience and your real world consequences. Time for operation hug first, be enemies again later. Sigh. You hug her and pat her on the back and keep telling her how sorry you were. You: Hey Hey, I'm pretty sure that you were just confused P: But I am confused... You: Er...More so than usual, I must have convinced a part of you that what you said was the truth and that you somewhat believed it. That's why the flower didn't bloom. P: (Sniffles) I guess that makes sense, I mean the alternative would be that all your lies were the truth and that you were actually Equestria's most wanted and IE the meanie pants the Hooded Offender in disguise... You gulp P: But then again, Nopony can beat Contra without the 30 lives cheat...although that colt Button Mash almost did once... You: Grrrr...Listen, how can I make this up to you. P: Oh there is one way you can (she says in a conspiratorial whisper with half lidded eyes) You: (In your head) Oh Sweet Tartarus, please don't let this one be hitting on me too! P: A PARTY!!! You: OH THANK GOODNESS! Oh Wait...No... P: You come to a party of mine where you apologize for what you did to me and so everypony can get to know you and your daughter better! You: umm...Is there anything else I could possibly do? Pinkie Pie gets a serious scary face on P: COME...TO...THE...PARTY!!! You: Yes maam! P: Great! See ya tonight. lalalalalalala(bounces away) DFV: Oh thank the Darkness she's gone, that one unsettles me... You: You're telling me.
A sad-looking Pinkie Pie sitting by herself and sniffling. Your gut tells you to ignore the Pink psycho and the DFV encourages you to revel in her sorrow, but your conscience won't shut up. So you decide to go and try to cheer her up before chibi-Nightshade and evil looking Luna pop up.
"Ummm, Hey..." you say hesitantly.
Pinkie doesn't seem to notice you.
"Do you need something?"
Pinkie just continues to sniffle.
"OK then, well I guess I'll-"
"Why?" she suddenly asks, head still looking down.
"Huh?"
"Why did you accuse me of being a murderer?"
"Oh well because... Yeah... I have no good reason at the moment..." you respond sheepishly.
"I mean, what was all that about yesterday?"
"Uhh..."
Pinkie turns towards you,
"I mean, I know you don't like me very much for some reason, but why would you say such a hurtful thing?"
"Well, I guess I was just... overreacting?"
"Overreacting...OVERREACTING!!!" Pinkie yells causing you to get a little scared.
"You made me confess that I was gonna skin ponies and make them into cupcakes! That's not funny! That's... I don't even know what that is!"
"Umm..."
"It was all kind of silly in hindsight, but everypony heard me say that, and the flower didn't bloom!"
"Oh..." you respond guiltily.
"I mean, it bloomed for all your "lies" but not that obvious one... Now some ponies actually believe I'm gonna make them into cupcakes..." she sniffles,
"I'm... I'm sorry... I just got carried away."
"I could never do such a thing, to anypony or anything... So why didn't the flower bloom? Is there a part of me that was telling the truth?"
Pinkie then starts bawling as you think in anger,
Luna Dang It! Why do I keep making Mares cry? Grrr... Curse you conscience and your real world consequences! Time for operation hug first, be enemies again later...
You hug Pinkie, pat her on the back and say,
"Hey Hey, I'm sorry. I'm pretty sure that you were just confused..."
"But I am confused..."
"Er... More so than usual. I must have convinced a part of you that what you said was the truth and that you somewhat believed it. That's why the flower didn't bloom."
Pinkie calms down and says,
"I guess that makes sense, I mean the alternative would be that all your lies were the truth and that you were actually Equestria's most wanted, IE the meanie pants the Hooded Offender in disguise..."
You gulp nervously, but Pinkie doesn't notice as she continues,
"But then again, Nopony can beat Contra without the 30 lives cheat... Although that colt Button Mash almost did once..."
You briefly growl in annoyance at the thought of noling ever realizing your video game greatness before you say,
"Listen, how can I make this up to you?"
"Oh there is one way you can..." she says in a conspiratorial whisper with half lidded eyes...
Oh Sweet Tartarus, please don't let this one be hitting on me too! Although imagine how much of a legend I'd be if I somehow got all the Deadly Six at onc-BAD BUG, NOT NOW!
"A PARTY!!!"
OH THANK GOODNESS! Oh Wait... No...
"You come to a party of mine where you apologize for what you did to me and so everypony can get to know you and your daughter better!"
"Umm...Is there anything else I could possibly do?" you say half-pleadingly.
Pinkie Pie suddenly gets a serious scary face on as she says with emphasis,
"Come. To. The. PARTY!"
"Yes ma'am!" you blurt out in panic, but as soon as you said that you hear something that makes you freeze in horror...
CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS ANARCHISTS!!! YAY!!!
"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS ANARCHISTS!!! YAY!!!"
You yelp in panic and scream,
"OH NO THEY DON'T"
You run to where you heard the fillies and scream back to Pinkie,
"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO MAKE THEM SAY THAT! I SWEAR! I BLAME BAD PARENTING! Wait, that would be blaming me... I BLAME THE MEDIA BLAMERS!"
Pinkie waves at your retreating form before she hops away while chanting "lalalalallalal..."
"I'm doing this cause I hate homework." Scootaloo comments.
You facehoof in exasperation and say,
"Look, just take off the dumb outfits. Your not gonna blow up the library. I'm already in enough deep trouble with Twilight, I don't need blowing up my home added to the list."
You mutter that last part to yourself.
The fillies sigh and take off the outfits, and Nightshade rubs off the make-up. You send them to sit and stare at a tree in time-out. As they do this, you look at the box of explosives and think,
As for this stuff...
You look around, before you stuff them into your potion sash
You never know when explosives will come in hoofy...
With that you walk over to the fillies to berate them
A FEW HOURS LATER
You took them to the park, but for the past couple of hours you've had to stop them form doing the most idiotic things like mercenaries, mobsters, and muggers. But it seems they've finally ran out of energy, as now they're just relaxing on a bench watching the clouds. You took this time to relax and try to answer an important question...
Stop the presses, Nightshade and the CMC aren't doing anything dangerous right now. They're just lying in a field together, watching the clouds roll by. You take this moment of silence to compose yourself and try to answer a very important question. Is there a way to avoid being skinned alive by all the mares crushing on you? Taking a page out of the evil Twilight Sparkle's playbook, you try to get your thoughts organized. You sit down and start writing things down about the mares you know. Applejack- PROS: Well-toned legs. Like ridiculously well-toned legs. I want to feel them wrapped around Moving on. CONS: She will not hesitate to slaughter the real me where I stand. And she's possibly a blood relative. Rainbow Dash- PROS: She's pretty, I'll give her that. The hair color is actually kind of cool. And she's really athletic. I wonder how flexible she can be in MOVING ON, BUGZE. CONS: She wants me dead, too. And there still might be something to my filly fooler taunts. Vinyl Scratch- PROS: She actually likes the real me, but the girl is slightly insane. Wow, what does that say about the mares I know when the one that offered a three-way with me the first time we met is only slightly insane? Anyway, she seems to be down for anything. Maybe she'd let me BAD BUG! CONS: Slightly insane is still insane. She seems to be down for anything, which could backfire horribly. Octavia- PROS: She's really a more insane Vinyl Scratch, for both good and bad. Dedicated to me, but to the point of creepiness. You're deluding yourself. The DFV snaps you out of your thoughts. Where did that come from? Look at your list, fool. Oh, "The real me!" The first two like this Tennant character you're playing, and the last two favor the Hooded Offender. Maybe you should find one that likes Bugze? That actually sounds like you know what you're talking about. But... they're all Bugze. The Offender, Tennant, they're both me. Aren't they? Before the DFV can respond, the words on your page flash. Oh buck me, did I write this in the Doctor's notebook? Oh my. And he's immortal, too. You will literally never live this down. Shut up! A thousand years from now, he'll have a new assistant, and he'll tell them about the time some fool sent him a list of potential romantic conquests. Shut! Up!
Is there a way to avoid being chained to a basement bed by one of these mares crushing on you?
Taking a page out of the evil Twilight Sparkle's playbook, you take out the notebook and pen from the Inventory and start writing down what you know about the mares in an attempt to get your head straight.
Applejack -PROS: Hard worker. Good cook. Well-toned legs. Like ridiculously well-toned legs. I want to feel them wrapped around Moving on. CONS: She will not hesitate to slaughter the real me where I stand. Not that smart (and that's me saying that). Possibly a blood relative.
Rainbow Dash -PROS: She's pretty, I'll give her that. The hair color is actually kind of cool (only 20% cool, but still...). And she's really athletic. I wonder how flexible she can be in MOVING ON, BUGZE. -CONS: She wants me dead, too. And there still might be something to my fillyfooler taunts...
Vinyl Scratch -PROS: A good DJ and she actually likes the real me, but the girl is slightly insane. Wow, what does that say about the mares I know when the one that offered a threesome with me the first time we met is only slightly insane? Anyway, she seems to be down for anything. Maybe she'd let me BAD BUG! -CONS: Slightly insane is still insane. She seems to be down for anything, which could backfire horribly. Plus she seems like a flirt and not serious.
Octavia -PROS: Talented classical musician, attractive in that refined way, genuinely likes the Hooded Offender due to "him" saving her life and isn't just another crazed fanfilly, would jump at the chance to jump on my GAH! THERE'S FOALS NEARBY! -CONS: Dedicated to me, but probably to the point of creepiness-
You're deluding yourself.
The DFV snaps you out of your thoughts and you mentally snap,
What do you want?
Look at your list, fool. Oh, "The real me!" The first two like this Tennant character you're playing, and the last two favor the Hooded Offender. Maybe you should find one that likes the incompetent insect?
That actually sounds like you know what you're talking about. But... they're all Bugze. The Offender, Tennant, they're both me. Aren't they?
Before the DFV can respond, the words on your page flash.
Oh buck me, did I write this in the Doctor's notebook?
Oh my. And he's immortal, too. You will literally never live this down.
Shut up!
A thousand years from now, he'll have a new assistant, and he'll tell them about the time some fool sent him a list of potential romantic conquests-
Shut! Up! And their Companions, not Assistants!
MEANWHILE ON THE TARDIS
The Doctor looks at his psychic paper and comments,
"Huh? Now what could Bugze have sent me this ti- BWAHAHAHAHAHAH OH THAT'S BLOODY BRILLIANT! BWAHHAHAH!"
The Doctor falls over in a laughing fit as Derpy walks over to the Doctor and asks,
"What's so funny Doctor? Did Bugze tell another really funny joke?"
The Doctor looks over to Derpy, barely able to hold back laughter, and says
"Oh no no no Hahhaha... He... hahahah... Oh just bloody look."
The Doctor hoofs over the Psychic Paper to Derpy who looks at it confused while the Doctor waits for her to laugh as well. Derpy just gets a confused look as she asks,
"Why am I not on this list?"
"Bwahahahahh-wait... What?!"
BACK TO PONYVILLE
After that...embarrassing realization. You notice that Pinkie's party for you is about to begin (by that, you mean a rock was just thrown at you head that had the words "Party time" on it, so you guess it was time for the party). You decide to worry about the Doctor now having blackmail on you for the next few centuries later, as you have to get to that party. You call over to the CMC and Nightshade and head towards Sugarcube Corner...
AT SUGARCUBE CORNER
You and the fillies walk into the restaurant. All the lights are off and you can't see a stinking thing. You wave your hoof in the air to find a light switch while thinking,
This is weird, I thought that rock said it was party ti-
Suddenly the lights turn on and a bunch of voices shout,
"SURPRISE!"
You jump back in fright pointing a hoof at them, shouting,
You hear the CMC and Nightshade giggle next to you, and you start to blush in embarrassment. The party goers seem to have ignored your outburst, and have already began to mingle. You cough a few times and think awkwardly,
Okay... I"m at my own party... What the hay do I do now?
Tell Nightshade to NOT devour all the food. When she protests that the party's for them, tell her she can only eat half of the food at the party at most.
You let Night Shade run around with the others, and tell her to keep her appetite down.
As you look around at all the party guest wondering on what to do, you see Nightshade... drooling at something. You look at her worriedly and ask,
"Uh... sweetie. Are you okay? You're... uh... losing saliva."
Nightshade just nods her head dumbly. You look at her with increased worry when you see her lick her lips in a hungry fashion and ask,
"Uh... Honey, what are you staring at?"
She just points ahead and says in Neighponese.
"Tabemono, eikō no tabemono! (Food, Glorious Food)"
You look at Nightshade in confusion as you start to look towards where she's pointing while saying,
"Food? What food are you looking a-... Holy Mother of Luna..."
You too start to drool at the food display set up. You feel like your about to die and go to heaven at just the site of it. Your so amazed that you start to mumble out all the food you see...
"A double-decker ice cream fudge cake, extra-spicy veggie tacos with habanero hot sauce, jelly babies, cookie dough ice cream with extra cookies, Sweet Apple Arc's Apple Cider (I thought they ran out... oh well), and even my favorite dessert; Apple Crisp a la mode..."
The floor is literally covered in your and Nightshade's drool, causing any and all nearby ponies to back away in disgust. You snap out of it as you grab Nightshade and say,
"Sweetie. No matter how badly we want to, we must resist the urge to eat all that delicious, tasty, delectable food, Okay! We must resist!"
Nightshade looks at you confused and asks,
"But Daddy, isn't this our party? Shouldn't we be allowed to eat all that good looking food?"
You look at her blanking while thinking,
Oh Luna she's right! This is our party, we should be able to eat all the food for ourselves! No! We must save the food for the other party goers! Nos, we's needs the foods. Nos, the foods musts goes to the partiers! Nos! Yes! Nos! Yes!
You stop your insane thoughts as you tell Nightshade,
"Okay, all that food there. We'll divided it in half. One for us, the other for the other party goers. Of that half, you get half the cake, the jelly babies, and the cookie dough ice cream. I'll get the other half of the cake, the spicy veggie tacos, and the Apple Crisp a la mode. We'll share the cider, deal?"
You put your hoof out, and Nightshade shakes it vigorously and says,
"Deal Daddy!"
You then shove her towards the CMC, who moved away to get into the party feel as you say,
"Have fun Sweetie!"
Nightshade smiles and walks towards her friends. When she's with her friends, you make a mad dash for the food table while shouting,
Find out you've already built-up a bit of a reputation as an "eccentric" due to your actions in the past few days.
You grab as much food as you can carry in your front hooves (although your scarf fell in the punch), claim a section of the table for yourself, and start to chow down. As you do, you overhear ponies talking,
"Ew, look at him eat."
"That is the coolest dude ever! He blew up the Super Cider machine all by himself!"
"I heard he was 'plowing Applejack's field' if you know what I mean..."
That's Big Red's job. I just patch things and buck apple trees. you think obliviously.
"Really? I heard he's in a secret relationship with Rainbow Dash!"
Ew...
"I heard he has nightly threesomes with Vinyl and Octavia."
*Spurt*
"I heard he's been wearing the same clothes since he got here, and he popped up as soon as Discord and the Offender disappeared."
You would have gotten nervous at that last one, but you were in too much bliss from that slice of Apple Crisp you stuffed into your mouth...
ONE GORGING LATER
Notice a blue unicorn with an hourglass Cutie Mark and interact with her in hopes of finding a connection to the Doctor. You find out her name is Colgate Minuette and she's Ponyville's dentist (you then remember that she's one of your ex-bosses from when you briefly worked as a janitor for her), good friends with Berry Punch (you suspect possibly more...), and when she asks you how often you and your daughter brush and floss, you reply never which horrifies her and causes her to give you two toothbrushes, floss, and a big tube of toothpaste. "2 Toothbrushes" "Container of Floss" "Tube of Toothpaste" Added to the Inventory Also find out that Lyra and Colgate really hate changelings because they were bridesmaids at the Royal Wedding, but got mind-controlled by Chrysalis and long story short, they didn't get to be bridesmaids anymore (even more reason to keep your changeling-ness top secret)
You've just finished the last of your 4th bottle of cider, when you see something strange...
You stare at the blue mare in confusion and think,
What the... Only the Doctor has that cutie mark! Oh, maybe she knows him or something, that or she's just a fan of the show. Hmmmm, well I've eaten my quarter of the food already, might as well introduce myself. She does look familiar...
And with that you walk over to the blue mare...
A COUPLE MINUTES LATER
"Huh... that was awkward as all heck..."
We now find you leaning against a wall in thought. You found out the mare's name was Colgate Minuette and she doesn't know the Doctor (she's just a Whoovian who got a tattoo of his cutie mark tattooed onto her flank and even pointed out which Doctors your clothes are drawn from), but she knew you as she was one of your ex-bosses (the dentist one, where you worked as a janitor and scared off her patients by off-key singing "The Dentist Song"). You also found out she's close friends with Berry Punch and is like a aunt to Berry's daughter, but she started to blush like a mad-mare when she mentioned Berry's name, but you just shrug it off.
But the most awkward thing you found out about her was... she really hates changelings. Yeah, apparently her and Lyra were supposed to be bridesmaids for Cadance, but then they were put under mind control by your ex-queen, and then the invasion happened... Long story short, they couldn't be royal bridesmaids any more. And when you told her you and Nightshade never floss or brush, you swore she was going to explode right there. Luckily all she did was give you some toothpaste, toothbrushes, and floss,
"2 Toothbrushes" "Container of Floss" "Tube of Toothpaste" Added to the Inventory
"I swear to Luna if I ever get married (which I hopefully will) I'm making sure I only invite my grandbuggy to it. Alot less drama that way..."
You say to yourself with hopefully. As you're about to head back to the food table, you see...
Go and do the dinosaur— Wait, that's been done in the original comment driven story. Okay, er... In the background, Nightshade danced the day out with a lamp decoration on her head. She's now Lampshade.
Nightshade dancing like there's no tomorrow while wearing a lamp decoration on her head. You can't help but chuckle and say,
"Heheheh, looks like Nightshade has become... Lampshade."
You look around in confusion looking for the source of that outburst, but you eventually just shrug your shoulders and ignore it. Suddenly...
you sense for only a second a changelling, but thinking it was only your imagination, you leave it. After that you see that you lost sight of the CMC, when you listen something
Is that... the changeling signal call that sounds just like the Yautja from Predator? But that's impossible, the changelings are gone, blasted off to who knows where- You know what, it's probably just my imagination getting to me, I probably jus-oh... look who's here!
You stop your worried thinking as you shrug it off and see...
You start mingling and you see that Vinyl has her sound system set up in front of the dance floor. You go to say hi to her. Vinyl: Sup Tennant? Couldn't stay away from me that long could ya? (winks) You: Heh heh (blushing), thanks for coming. Vinyl: Well I would've come anyway even if I wasn't working, Pinkie's parties are da bomb. You: You mean you didn't bring this stuff just for me? Ha ha ha (Joking) Vinyl: (giggles) Nah, Pinkie and I have a trade agreement when it comes to throwing parties. You: Nice Vinyl: Heck ya it is, I get to show off my new songs, and party all the time. Not to mention all the free booze and food I get to stock up on at the end of every gig, I haven't had to buy food for nearly 3 months. You: Whoa, I might have to get a deal like that, what with my daughter's appetite Vinyl: (giggles) well anyway, enjoy the party man, I gotta get back to the wubs You: Alright, see ya
Vinyl setting up her sound system in front of the dance floor. You decide to go and say hi to her.
"Hi Vinyl!"
She turns towards you and smiles,
"Sup Tennant? Couldn't stay away from me that long could ya?"
She lowers her shades and winks at you causing you to blush as you reply,
"Heh heh, thanks for coming."
"Well I would've come anyway even if I wasn't working, Pinkie's parties are da bomb!"
"You mean you didn't bring this stuff just for 'eccentric' old me?"
Vinyl chuckles before replying,
"Nah, Pinkie and I have a trade agreement when it comes to throwing parties."
"Nice."
"Hay ya it is! I get to show off my new songs and party all the time. Not to mention all the free booze and food I get to stock up on at the end of every gig, I haven't had to buy food for nearly 3 months."
"Whoa, I might have to get a deal like that, what with my daughter's huge appetite."
"Well anyway, enjoy the party man, I got wubs to bring and basses to drop!"
"Alright, see ya"
"And BTW, it's 'DJ Pon-3' when I'm at work." she says before getting back to work,
You start to walk away when you feel your scarf catching on something which pulls you down by the neck. You re-catch your breath and you look up to see...
Talk with Spike. When she starts crushing on Nightshade, distract him with Rarity (who the DFV comments is an insecure unicorn who would have made a good host in another timeline...)
Spike!
He looks at you in surprise before smiling and saying,
"Sorry man, I didn't see your scarf there." as he helps you up.
"Thanks." you say as he helps you up "Anything new?"
"Meh, same old same old. Although I swore somepony tried to burn down the library earlier today."
"Yeah..." you say as you rub your hoof behind your head nervously, but you notice Spike is looking at Nightshade while blushing. Fatherly instincts kicking in, you quickly proclaim,
"Hey look Spike! That pony over there clearly needs more punch!" and shove Spike towards the nearest pony. Spike snaps out of it and refocuses his blushing on the pony you shoved him towards which turns out to be...
You feel angry at the DFV's comment for some reason,
Well too bad! You're stuck with me so you're not gonna mess with any other ling's mind so long as your in my head, got that!
The DFV goes silent at you outburst, but you ignore the silence when you stop pushing Spike and see...
O: Hi, my name is Octavia Melody. You: Hi, I'm Baker Sylvester Tennant...but I guess you knew that, since you're at this party and... O: (Giggles) It's OK, A true gentlemen introduces himself regardless, and I can see you are one You: Thanks O: Would you like some punch? You: Sure You walk with her to the punch bowl and she starts whispering to you O: So, Vinyl tells me you're a member of the horde You look around to make sure no one is listening You: Ya, I'm from the Appleloosan branch...but should we really be talking about this here? O: Oh don't be so skittish, more than half the ponies here are members. Your eyes widen at that O: Now, I want to ask you a question, do you actually believe in His message, or are you just a bandwagoner? You: Oh...I guess you can say I believe in his message...I was there at Appleloosa when he stopped the Buffalo and Pony war. O: Ah, then you are a true believer in his cause...someone who knows the depth of his heroics (eyes sparkling) You: Ya, I know it all too well O: I mean, he's an inspiration for ponies everywhere to always try and do the right thing, no matter what life throws at you. And just look at his triumphs through his trials and tribulations. He suffers so much injustice, and yet he does what is right because he's a true hero. Your ego boosts tremendously at those kind words. O: Even after that whole Discord mind thing, the Horde knows the truth, and we have a duty to make sure others do too. If nothing else, for His sake. Just so he knows there are those that appreciate and even love him. And...are you crying? You: No (Sniff) just...got something in my eyes...but that was beautiful O: Thank you, sorry if I rambled a bit. I just wish he knew what I...what everyone feels about him. You: I'm sure He knows and appreciates it (smiling)
"Hello, my name is Octavia Melody."
You turn to the refined voice and say,
"Hi, I'm Baker Sylvester Tennant... but I guess you knew that, since you're at this party and..."
She interrupts you with a giggle and says,
"It's OK, A true gentlemen introduces himself regardless, and I can see you clearly are one."
"Thanks- I mean I express my sincere gratitude." you say, temporarily drawing on your "fancy voice" and what little you can remember from the "How to be A Gentle Colt 101" book.
Octavia giggles again and asks,
"Would you like some punch?"
"Sure."
You walk with her to the punch bowl and she starts whispering to you,
"So, Vinyl tells me you're a member of the horde"
You look around to make sure no one is listening and reply,
"Ya, I'm from the Appleloosan branch..." you pause before getting into your 'fancy voice' again, "but is it wisely advisable to be corresponding about this subject matter in present and most dubious company?"
"Oh don't be so skittish, more than half the ponies here are members."
Your eyes widen at that as she continues,
"Now, I want to ask you a question, do you actually believe in his message, or are you just another bandwagoner?"
"Oh... I guess you can say I believe in his message..."
Even if even I have no idea what kind of "message" I'm trying to spread. you mentally comment as you continue.
"I was there at Appleloosa when he stopped the Buffalo and Pony war."
"Ah, then you are a true believer in his cause... somepony who knows the depth of his heroics!"
Her eyes start to sparkle as her whispering gets louder,
"Yeah, I know it all too well..."
"I mean, he's an inspiration for ponies everywhere to always try and do the right thing, no matter what life throws at you. And just look at his triumphs through his trials and tribulations. He suffers so much injustice, and yet he does what is right because he's a true hero."
Your ego boosts tremendously at those kind words. Vinyl- Er, I mean DJ Pon-3 notices Octavia starting to speak more loudly about the Hooded Offender so she turns up the volume to make sure nopony else can hear her.
"Even after that whole Discord mind-thing, the Horde knows the truth, and we have a duty to make sure others do too. If nothing else, for His sake. Just so he knows there are those that appreciate and even love him. And... are you crying?"
You sniffle as you wipe off a stray tear with your scarf and say,
"No *Sniff* just... got something in my eyes... but that was beautiful."
"Thank you, I apologize if I rambled a bit. I just wish he knew what I... what everypony feels about him."
"I'm sure he knows and appreciates it." you smile.
With a farewell you both part ways when...
Meet a pair of twin Earth Ponies that you recognize from that time you went to the bath (Season 1, Episode 13, "The Ponies in This Town Are CRAZY!"). The one with the blue coat and pink mane is Lotus Blossom and she speaks with a Eastern European accent while the one with a pink coat and blue mane is Aloe and they run the Ponyville spa. Lotus takes her job more seriously while Aloe is a more out-going, easy-going, flirt (reminds you alot of that "Yin/Yang" balance thing that keeps popping up in those Neighponese movies and anime and it kinda reminds you of the dynamic between between Vinyl and Octavia).
"Oh hello there Mister Tennant, my name is Lotus Blossom and this is my sister,"
The mare with the pink coat and blue mane and tail continues,
"Aloe, my name is Aloe."
"We run the Day Spa in town." They both say at the same time.
"Oh, that cool, I went to a spa once, wasn't relazing. Let's just say too many hot rocks and not enough quick dry cement."
"Don't you mean mud?" Lotus asks as they both look at you in confusion.
"That's it, they didn't have mud, they had quick dry cement. I swore I was stuck in that blasted tub for days..."
As the twin mares look at you in confusion, you can't help be get a sense of deja vu like you've seen these ponies before-
I remember now! These were the twins that helped clean me up back when Cadance sent me to Ponyville. From what I remember, Lotus takes her job seriously and doesn't slack off on the job while Aloe is the opposite; out-going, easy-going... And a flirt...
"I'm not surprised. With those looks, I'd mistake you for an ancient statue of a chiseled alicorn too." she flirts with a wink, snapping you out of your thoughts while proving your point.
You blush deep red at her flirting as Lotus gives her an annoyed look. You stumble with your words for a few seconds before saying,
"Heheheh thank you, it's a medical condition. Same as how I have to wear all these awesome clothes."
Lotus looks your outfit up and down before saying something amazing,
"Hmmmm, the hat of the 7th, 10th's trenchcoat, 4th's scarf, 6th's pants, and a face mask from the looks of it. Nice, very... Doctorish."
You stare at her in shock before thinking,
Holy buck... I AIN'T THE ONLY WHOOVIAN WHO LIKES THE CLASSICS THAT I KNOW OF ANYMORE!
"Well, we need to go." Lotus says, snapping you out of your thoughts.
"Awww, why?" Aloe whines,
"We scheduled a appointment with a high paying customer tonight, remember?"
"Ohhhhh right, well later cutie." Aloe flirts with another wink causing you to blush as you reply,
"Ah, uh, yeah... uh, see ya later."
The twins turn to leave, but Aloe remembers something and turns back,
"Oh, here's a ticket for one free father-daughter spa day. Welcome to Ponyville!"
"Thank you, Nightshade will love this... hopefully."
"Spa Ticket" added to The Inventory
With that you leave, but bump into another pony...
Meet the pegasus who saved you from crazed Twilight and find out her name is Sunshower Raindrops. Thank her for whacking a crazed Twilight in the head with a flower pot (this comment causes Twilight to blush and facehoof). She sheepishly comments that she also had an overdue book that day and hit Twilight with the flower pot so she could sneak it in (while the overdue fine is not so bad, it's the scolding by Twilight that everypony doesn't like)
"Sorry bout that- Hey! You're the pegasus who saved me from the crazed bookworm by smashing her in the head with a flower pot." you say causing a nearby Twilight to facehoof at the memory of her behavior that day.
"Oh..." the pegasus with a Tiffany blue mane and tail and jasmine coat says in recognition before you butt in,
"Thanks! I never caught your name by the way."
"My name's Sunshower Raindrops. I was happy to help, but I had other... less noble reasons for that save..."
"Really?"
Sunshower looks both ways cautiously before she leans in and whispers,
"I had an overdue book due that day and i needed a way to sneak it into the library without getting caught by her."
"Wow. What does she normally do to overdue book keepers? Throw them in the dungeon?" you ask in surprise.
"Well, the actual fine is no big deal, but it's her scolding lectures that everypony in town knows to avoid."
"O... Kay..." you say hesitantly. "Well I have to get back to the party. Nice meeting you, and thanks again for the save."
"Anytime." she says with a smile before trotting off. You follow suit and walk off in a different direction...
Also Rarity talks about how Sweeite and the others speak highly of Night Shade and AJ and Rainbow both nod as well. Rarity: So mister Tennant, if it's not too much to ask, what does her mother do? AJ: I've actually been wondering that myself (eyes look around shiftily) You: Well... DFV: I seek to end the false godesses reign, and to take vengeance on the weak one who betrayed... You: Her mother...lives on in my mind They all gasp in sympathy, thinking that means she is dead, and Applejack and Rainbow both give a slight victory smile at that. Rarity: Oh, I'm sorry...I shouldn't have asked You: No no, it's fine, sometimes though it's like she's always there. DFV: I will always be here, and don't you forget it!
And run into 4 of the the Deadly 6 (Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash) and Spike.
"Oh Hi Mister Tennant darling," Rarity says "While I can't exactly approve of your taste in wardrobe, I can say that Sweetie and her friends get along fabulously with your daughter."
Applejack and Rainbow both nod as well as Rarity continues,
"So Mister Tennant, if it's not too much to ask, what does her mother do?"
"Ah've actually been wondering that myself..." Applejack comments as her eyes look around shiftily.
"Well..."
I seek to end the false goddess's reign, and to take vengeance on the weak one who betrayed-
Ignoring DFV's rant, you half-truth,
"Her mother... lives on in my mind."
They all gasp in sympathy (thinking that Nightshade's mother is dead) and Applejack and Rainbow gives a slight victory smile at that before joining in on the sympathy.
"That poor stallion." and "Poor little filly" you overhear several nearby ponies say,
Do these ponies have any sense of privacy at all! you think in annoyance.
"Oh, I'm sorry... I shouldn't have asked." Rarity says,
"No no, it's fine, sometimes though it's like she's always there."
I will always be here being your only friend, and don't you forget it!
Don't remind me...
Nightshade meets Fluttershy and they immediately hit it off talking about animals and nature. Fluttershy comments that the "Animals, Nature, and You" book is a few years out of date and when the Pegasus talks about how more up-to-date book are at the library, Nightshade says, "Now I'm glad daddy stopped us from burning down the library!" This causes a "WHAT?!" reaction from a few nearby ponies (especially Twilight and Spike). and results in an argument over the CMC (which involves you, Rarity, Applejack, and maybe a few others) which comes to a head when one of them says she ought to spank Nightshade if you won't which provokes you to yell, "If anyling lays a hoof on my Nightshade I will tear off his legs, jam them into his eye sockets, slash his throat open, and then give the motherbucker A GRIFFIN NECKTIE!!!" This outburst causes the ponies to back away in horror from you until Pinkie and Nightshade somehow manages to get the party mood back.
Out of the corner of your eye, you spot Fluttershy with Nightshade and they appear to be getting along very well.
"Daddy!" Nightshade says as she spots you and runs right over to your fatherly happiness.
"Oh Hi Mister Tennant. Your daughter is such a dear." Fluttershy says as she joins the group,
"Yeah, we talked about nature and animals, then we talked about something called 'knitting' when I mentioned you were trying to teach me to sew, and about something called a 'spa' and about how I can learn more about animals from the library! Now I'm glad you stopped us from burning down the library!"
"WHAT?!" many nearby (especially Twilight and Spike) say. What follows is an argument between you, Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash over the CMC which comes to a head when Twilight says,
"Mister Tennant, I read a book about foal care a while ago. It said that a misbehaving child must be punished by a spanking. So if you won't do that then so help me I will!"
*snap*
On instinct, you protectively shove Nightshade behind you as you roar,
"If you lay one bucking hoof on my Nightshade, I will tear out your legs, jam them into your eyeballs, break off your horn, slash your throat open with it, and GIVE YOU A GRIFFIN NECKTIE!!!"
Suddenly, the party becomes so quite even a thought could be heard as everypony looks at you in stunned horror at your violent outburst as your glowing orange eyes continues to glare into a terrified Twilight. Nightshade then whispers to you,
"Daddy, you're being scary again..."
Pinkie Pie then brings you to the front of an area cleared for the dance floor where Vinyl is set up. You wave at her and she waves back, but Pinkie Pie holds a microphone in front of your face Pinkie: ahem You: uhhh Pinkie: ahem... You: (thinking) does she want me to sing or something? P: Isn't somepony forgetting about a certain public apology he owes somepony else? You: Oh! Right...(Grab Microphone) You: Testing, Testing, 1,2,3...Hello everypony and thanks for throwing me and Night Shade this party, it really means a lot. They applaud You: But listen, I know I've probably built up a reputation in these last few days, but concerning yesterday I would really like to apologize to someone and set the record straight. Audience is intrigued You: Yesterday I jumped to conclusions when Applebloom had the Cutie Pox and I accused Pinkie Pie of...(you see kids in the audience) doing horrible things and had her wrongfully confess to it You see Twilight and the rest (sans Pinkie) with frowns on their faces. Apparently they've known how upset Pinkie was. You: Because the flower bloomed for my...(sigh) lies and not for her, some of you have been thinking that it was the truth. You see the Flower Trio (the ones who wore the hazmat suits, and see them looking at Pinkie with worried/scared faces You: I can assure you all that this is not the case and that because I interrogated her harshly, she believed it enough to the point where the flower was tricked. You don't have to fear her You see some of the ones who were fearful sigh, but then look guilty You: (Turn toward Pinkie) Pinkie, I'm sorry. I was acting like an idiot. Can you forgive me? She hugs you, Hard, and says P: Of course I can, you came to the Apology Party after all, why wouldn't I forgive you. That's what friends do. Everyone Dawws at that, and you even hear others saying sorry to Pinkie for thinking she was a killer. P: (whispers in your ear) though if you really want to make it up to me there's plenty of fun things you and I can do together... Your eyes widen and a little bit of blood comes out your nose You: uuuhhh... She pulls away from you and holds her own microphone P: Like Singing Karoake!!! You: (Thinking) IS SHE DOING THIS ON PURPOSE?! You: Umm...OK Sing "Come on Feel the Noize" with Pinkie.
While saying your apology, you decide to troll Pinkie, "I assure you all that Pinkie is not a psycho cannibal serial killer... (*smirks mischievously beneath mask and scarf*) Or at the very least I can't prove it yet." This gets you a few angry scowls before you say, "Joking or am I..."
Before you can respond, you suddenly find yourself whisked in front of an area cleared for the dance floor where Vinyl is set up. You're standing next to Pinkie who announces,
"WOAH! That was intense, but let's not let it turn our frowns upside down! Let's keep this party going! But first..."
Pinkie Pie holds a microphone in front of your face and mutters,
"Ahem."
"Uhhh"
"Ahem..." Pinkie says again with more emphasis.
Does she want me to sing or something? you think in confusion.
"Isn't somepony forgetting about a certain public apology he owes somepony else?" Pinkie hints with emphasis,
"Oh! Right..." you say in realization before recieivng the microphone from her,
"Testing, Testing, 1,2,3..."
You tap on the microphone causing feedback which causes everypony to wince before you continue,
"Hello everypony and thanks for throwing me and Nightshade this party, it really means a lot."
They lightly applaud.
"But listen, I know I've probably built up a reputation in these last few days as... 'an eccentric', but concerning yesterday I would really like to apologize to somepony and set the record straight."
Intrigued, the audience listens in more closely as you continue,
"Yesterday I jumped to conclusions when Applebloom had the Cutie Pox and I accused Pinkie Pie of..."
You pause when you see foals in the audience and revise your statement,
"-doing horrible things and made her wrongfully confess to it."
You see Twilight and the rest (sans Pinkie) with frowns on their faces. Apparently they've known how upset Pinkie was,
"Because the flower bloomed for my... (*sigh*) lies and not for hers, some of you have been thinking that it was the truth."
You see the Flower Trio looking at Pinkie with worried/scared faces,
"I can assure you all that this is not the case and that because I interrogated her so harshly, she believed it enough to the point where the flower was tricked. You don't have to fear her. I assure you all that Pinkie is not some sort of psycho cannibal serial killer..."
Your prankster side suddenly getting the best of you, you smirk mischievously beneath the mask and scarf before adding,
"Or at the very least I can't prove it yet."
The flower ponies yelp and faint and you get several "Dude, Not Funny" scowls from the audience (even from Fluttershy, Vinyl, and Nightshade),
"Kidding!" you quickly add "or am I..." you mutter afterwards.
"And let me say, I have learned a valuable lesson. I learned it the day my beautiful daughter came to be. It's that you can never judge a pony by their looks or their odd behavior. It's what they are on the inside that counts. And even though I don't know her very well, and we got off on the wrong hoof big time, I am glad to call her a non-psychopath."
Unless it involves cake and beating me up.
You see some of the ones who were fearful sigh in relief, but then look guilty. You turn towards Pinkie and say,
"Pinkie, I'm sorry. I was acting like an idiot. Can you forgive me?"
She hugs you (Hard. You swore you heard a few ribs crack) and says,
"Of course I can, you came to the Apology Party after all, why wouldn't I forgive you. That's what friends do."
Everyone Dawws at that, and you even hear others apologizing to Pinkie for thinking she was a killer. Pinkie then whispers in your ear while continuing the hug,
"Though if you really want to make it up to me there's plenty of fun things you and I can do together..."
Your eyes widen in shock and a little bit of blood comes out your nose,
"Uuuhhh..."
She pulls away from you and grabs her own microphone,
"Like Singing Karaoke!!!"
IS SHE DOING THIS ON PURPOSE?!
"Umm... O.K."
ONE PARTY LATER
When the party is over, go back to the shed with a sleepy/sleeping Nightshade (other CMC went home with their sisters/sister figure)
You sang We Will Rock You and Come On Feel the Noise to applause, but get booed off the stage for horribly trying to sing Let It Go (Note to Self: Rock is the only genre you can sing well). There was some awkwardness when Twilight comments that you're glowing orange eyes and violently protective nature seem very familiar, but you defuse the situation by shoving your Doctor's Note into her face.
You're now returning to your shed home with a sleeping Nightshade on your back. The party was still going on, but you wanted to put your daughter to bed. But as soon as you reached the shed and put her back into The Inventory, you felt really tired and flopped onto the cot asleep. Apparently you were more tuckered out than you thought you were...
THE NEXT DAY
"Ugh... What the... Where am I?"
You look around the area you're in to see that you're in a dark room and you can't see a thing. You try to move, but you find out that you've been tied down!
"OI! What the heck is going on! Who ever the buck is doing this better come out or I swear I'll..."
Suddenly, a cloaked figure appears in front of you. You can barely see an evil smile under the hood. The hooded figure then says,
"Welcome to your new home... Master."
...
HOLY MOTHER OF LUNA THE FANFILLIES FOUND ME! I'M GONNA DIE!
First of all, look around your environment. You see that there are no Imprisoned Short Haired Mares or Stolen Pies around, so you can definitely confirm that you are not in The Woolie Hole. Thank Goodness for that. Still you are tied down in a room with a FANFILLY!!! PANIC!!!! You: I NEED AN ADULT! THIS IS NOT MY FETISH! Darkness! Imprisoning Me! All That I See! Absolute Horror!!! AAAAAAHHHH!!!!! After Screaming like an idiot for a bit, look at your situation a little more rationally You recently got a letter and the Scarf from "A Friend" who has helped you in the past, you went to sleep in your own bed and woke up in a dark place with a hooded mare...the more you think about it the more it sounds like... You: Holy Crap! The Dark Brotherhood has found me! Who sent you? Was it Luna? Or are you hear to recruit me? Because I'll say this once, I am not going to murder a bride at her own wedding!!!
First of all, you look around your environment,
Let's see, there're no Imprisoned Short Haired Mares or Stolen Pies around, so I can definitely confirm that I'm not in The Woolie Hole. Thank Goodness for that. Still, I'm tied down in a room with a FANFILLY... PANIC!!!!
"Holy Luna! The Dark Brotherhood has found me! Who sent you? Was it Luna? Or are you here to recruit me? Because I'll say this once, I am not going to murder a bride at her own wedding!!!"
The hooded figure chuckles at your outburst and says,
"Silly Master, we are not this 'Dark Brotherhood' of which you speak of. If anything were much, much more... deadly."
You whimper in fear as you...
Your attempts to free yourself are in vain. You start to panic and hyperventilate as the hooded figure comes closer to you. "I NEED AN ADULT", you scream, but they get closer and closer to you until they reach you. You tense up as they put a hoof on your chest and whisper in your ear. "I am an adult", You're DOOMED....
You try to struggle against the bonds keeping you tied to... whatever it is you're tied too. The Hooded figure giggles at your attempts to break free and says,
"Feeble try Master, but your bonds are 100 times the strength of steel. You won't be breaking outta of those."
This causes you to sweat in fear as you try to think, but nothing comes to mind so yo blurt out the first thing that does,
"I NEED AN ADULT", you scream, but the mysterious figure moves in closer and you tense up as he/she/it puts a hoof on your chest and whispers in your ear.
"I am an adult."
You gulp in fear as you think
I. Are. DOOMED!
...
That is until you remember an age old trick that has helped you throughout your recently troublesome (or at least more troublesome than normal) life. You suck in a deep breath of air and shout in the RCV,
You loudly shout "LOOK! A DISTRACTION!" Only to find that it doesn't work because you can't point while tied down.
"LOOK, A DISTRACTION!!!"
You nervously sweat drop as you realize that your old trick probably won't work as well as usual cause you can't point in any random direction.
"I'm confused Master? Was I supposed to look somewhere for this... distraction?" the hooded figure says with a tilt of his/her/its head, confirming your realization.
Also, claim you are not The Master as you are clearly wearing the Doctor's clothes and you don't hear any drumbeats.
Wait... Why does this thing keep calling me "Master"? Do I look like an evil time lor- *Ding* That's it! Seeing how Doctor Who is real and I'm wearing the Doctor's old clothes, maybe he... she... it thinks I'm the Master! That's got to be it! This figure probably thinks I'm the Master! Well, time to prove my innocence... hopefully it'll work this time.
With that thought in mind, you say,
"Ohhh, you must think that I'm The Master! Well... I'm not. And I can prove it too! I'm wearing the Doctor's clothes, and The Master would never wear his clothes. Plus, I don't hear the sound of drums in my head! I mean there was this one time in Appaloosa, but I'm sure that that was just a fluke, a one time thing you know! Also the Master is a, well, mastermind and I'm an idiot! Ask Miss Cheerilie!"
The hooded figure tilts his/her/its head in confusion and says,
"But Master... you are the Master. At least you're our Master."
You shake in fear a little at how the figure said that and you begin to freak out... again.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
TWENTY MINUTES OF SCREAMING LATER
You finally start calm down and decide to try and get some answers, so you ask...
Also, ask her You: How did you find me? ?: A stallion's daughter is threatened at a public event and he responds viciously with glowing orange eyes. I can't be the only one who's figured it out You: Am I really that obvious? ?: Well you do have consistent quirks which we have come to call running gags, so... You: Sigh
Bugze: What is going on? What are you going to do to me? What is your goal? I want to know the truth! That random pony: You can't handle the truth, master!
"How did you find me?"
"A stallion's daughter is threatened at a public event and he responds viciously with glowing orange eyes. I can't be the only one who's figured it out." the figure says matter-of-factly.
"Am I really that obvious?"
"Well you do have consistent quirks which we have come to call running gags, so..."
You sigh before you continue,
"What the hay is going on? What are you going to do to me? What is your goal? I want to know the truth!"
"You can't handle the truth, master!"
You whimper in fear (again) at the figure's outburst. You start to think that you're doomed for good when you realize something,
If I can't break free... then I'll stall for as long as possible! On with the excuses, AWAY!
With that heroic (and dumb) thought, you say,
Think of random excuses to try and escape such as, but not limited to; I have to go to work! ?:It's sunday I have a highly contagious disease! ?: We read your Doctors note... Its not contagious... If it was even a real disease I have to take my daughter to school! ?:Again.it.is. SUNDAY! IM GOING INTO LABOUR! ?:YOU ARE A MAN! HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT!? ?:WE REMOVED YOUR CLOTHES WHEN WE BROUGHT YOU HERE! SAY WHAAAAAAAAT?!
"I have to go to work!"
"It's Saturday." the figure nonchalantly responds,
"I have a highly contagious disease!"
"We read your 'Doctors' note... It's not contagious... If it was even a real disease in the first place."
"I have to take my daughter to school!"
"Again. It. Is. SATURDAY!" the figure yells, starting to lose patience at your excuses.
"I'M GOING INTO LABOR!"
"YOU'RE MALE!"
"HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT!?"
"WE REMOVED YOUR CLOTHES WHEN WE BROUGHT YOU HERE!"
"SAY WHAAAAAAAAT?!"
You quickly check to see if your cloths are on (you can barely make them out in front of you), and when you confirmed that there on, you
You squirm in the ropes again, trying to find any wiggle room. "This... this doesn't make sense! Why did you kidnap me? I thought you and your group were on my side?" The figure tilts its head in confusion. "Who ever said I was on your side? We all have our roles to play, Mr. 'Tennant.' Yours is coming to an end sooner or later." The figure raises its leg and pulls off its hood. Under it... is nothing. The figure is headless. "SWEET MOTHER OF THE CELESTIAL SISTERS, WHAT AND/OR WHO THE BUCK ARE YOU?!" "You will understand in time. Just as you already understand the truth." It walks closer to you, leaning down to whisper in your ear. "Deep down, you always knew you couldn't stop it. The Nightmare is coming."
You squirm in the ropes again, trying to find any wiggle room as you say,
"This... this doesn't make sense! Why did you kidnap me? And if I'm your master, why did you tie me up?! I thought you and your group were on my side!?"
The figure tilts his/her/its head in confusion.
"Who ever said I was on your side? We all have our roles to play, Mr. 'Tennant.' Yours is coming to an end sooner or later."
The figure raises its front leg and pulls off its hood. Under it... is nothing. The figure is headless.
"SWEET MOTHER OF THE CELESTIAL SISTERS, WHAT AND/OR WHO THE BUCK ARE YOU?! ARE YOU A HEADLESS MONK OR SOMETHING?"
The figure chuckles as it says
"You will understand in time. Just as you already understand the truth."
He/She/It walks closer to you, leaning down his/her/its nonexistent head to whisper in your ear.
"Deep down, you always knew you couldn't stop it. The Nightmare is coming."
The figure then reels back it's hoof and is about to punch you, when...
You wake up to the sound of your own screams, startling Nightshade and the CMC and making them drop the water balloons they were aiming at you. A screaming contest ensues
Wake up from your Nightmare and after the encounter with the CMC, you remember/find out that it's Saturday Morning!
You suddenly wake up in your shed on Sweet Apple Acres, you pop up in your cot and start screaming,
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
This causes Nightshade and the Cutie Mark Crusaders (who were standing in front of your cot about to hurl water balloons into your sleeping face) to drop their water balloons in shock and start screaming too,
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
Spotting the CMC, you continuing screaming even more.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
This causes the CMC to start screaming more as well,
The cycle finally ends when Nightshade slaps you upside the head.
"Snap out of it Daddy! Why were you screaming?" Nightshade asks in worry,
"Yeah B.S. One minute you're knocked out like Rainbow Dash after Cider season, the next you're screaming like a little filly." Scootaloo adds.
"Um, You are a filly Scootaloo." Applebloom points out.
"It... it was nothing. Just a nightmare. A really strange and totally not magical nightmare. I... I just need time to myself for now young ones." you say with your best attempt at false reassurance,
"Are you sure daddy?" Nightshade asks in worry.
"Yes Sweetie-"
"Yes?" Sweetie Belle asks.
"I was talking to Nightshade. Anyway, I'll be fine, just need some time to think and calm down."
They nod their heads and begin to leave, when Applebloom turns around and says,
"Ah, mistah Tennat. Mah sister said the you can have a day off. Something about 'all pony's need a break after one of Pinkies party's. Here's your pay for yesterday."
Applebloom hands you a small bag of bits,
20 Bits added to Inventory 30 Bits remaining
You nod your head in thanks and say,
"Sweet. Tell your sister that I said thanks."
Applebloom nods and leaves and you follow suit, but when you walk out the door you remember something,
"Oh, and Nightshade honey, you remember what I told you to do when a colt or stallion wants to hang out with you?"
"Of course; scream 'BUCK OFF PERVERT!' and Falcon Kick him in the balls!" Nightshade responds.
You smile with fatherly pride at that and say
"That's my girl..."
"Hey, Rainbow tells me the exact same thing, but without the fancy names for punching and kicking." Scootaloo says.
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle give Scootaloo and Nightshade weird looks as the latter both respond,
"What?"
With that they leave, so with that out of the way, you head towards Ponyville and think,
Well, time to do what I do best when I"m not destroying stuff or patching things. And that's walking around aimlessly until something exciting happens. Now where to first?
As you walk to your destination you start to think what hay that dream was all about. You wonder what the 'Nightmare is coming' really means. Could it have something to do with Nightmare night? What could this all mean? You sometimes wish you had your normal changeling life again. It was a boring and simple life, but non-life threatening...... usually.
Ponder what "The Nightmare Comes" could possibly mean and think about telling the Doctor, but get distracted by something.
As you enter Ponyville walking aimlessly, you begin to think about that nightmare,
Luna that dream was creepy. With the being tied down and the headless hooded figure, I wonder if "THE NIGHTMARE COMES" means anything? Could it have something to do with Nightmare Night? I need to tell the Doctor about th-
*wham*
Run into Caramel who is understandably still uneasy around you since you did tackle him through a 2nd-story window while spouting action flick one-liners. His special somepony Sassaflash gives you a sassy earful for that before you distract them with "Hey look, a distraction over there" before trotting off
You are snapped out of your thoughts when you smash into somepony. As you hold your head in pain, you can't help but think,
What is with me and running into ponies lately. It's starting to happen almost as much as my awkward staring problem.
After that thought and as the pain in your head starts to subside, you start to say,
"Sorry about th-"
"AHHH!"
When the pony in front of you screams in terror. You jump back startled and ask,
"What's wron- oh... Hi Caramel..."
You stare down awkwardly at Caramel, the pony you most likely traumatized when you tackled him out a second story window when you were a guard-in-training. You reach your hoof out to him, which causes him to flinch in fear. You sigh and think,
Oh great, it's the Hooded Offender all over again. At least noling is trying to kill me this ti-
"HEY SCARFY! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING TO MY STALLION!"
Before you can finish, the mare slaps you across the face and begins to rant,
"How dare you treat my poor Caramel wamel like that. You gave him nightmares for days! He hasn't been able to watch Coltmmando, Lethal Armament or Roboguard, some of his favorite movies mind you, because of your stupid use of the quotes. When ever he goes out, he's terrified that he'll be tackled to the ground. I have half the mind to nag nag nag! Naggy nag nag nag! Nag! Nag nag nag!"
You stopped listing halfway though this mares nagging and had to force yourself to not shove your hooves into your ears and though your brain. You start to think in a annoyed tone,
Dear Luna, this mare nags more then that one mare my Grandbuggy used to date. What was her name... Sassa, no... was it Naggy... No that's not it... Maybe it was Nagger mic naggs alot.... Nah that's not it either. But seriously what was her na-FOR THE LOVE OF LUNA SHES STILL TALKING! How much air does her lungs have? Seriously, I don't think she's taken a single breath this whole time! She's as bad as Pinkie! That's it, time for the age old trick that has got me though thick and thin...
With that thought in mind, you suck up some air, point behind the mare, and shout,
"LOOK A DISTRACTION!"
When she and Caramel look away, you turn around and make a break for it. When they turn back around, Caramel remembers something and says to the mare,
"Oh honey, I need to go back to my house. I forgot the cloud-gazing mat again."
A FEW MOMENTS LATER
You finally stop running away to catch your breath. You look behind you to see if she followed you, but luckily she didn't. You smirk and say between deep breaths,
"Hah... Still.... works... hah... hah!"
You're about to walk away, when a thought suddenly hits you,
Now that you think about, you've never read the Doctor's Note so take a look at it to see what the Doctor said about your "condition" This pony here suffers from Dyschromatophthalm Dermatoastheniapathy or "Discolored-eyed Skin Weakness Disorder" or D.E.S.W.D. It is a hereditary abnormality that causes an malformation in ocular development affecting the Vitreous humor thus causing the eyes to turn pure blue and said abnormality also weakens the skin tissues on the limbs, back, and lower half of the face so they're especially sensitive to the environment. Adrenaline also further discolors the Vitreous humor and causes the eyes to temporarily turn a glowing orange color. In basic Equestrian, DESWD is a disorder which causes the pony to have pure blue eyes which turn glowing orange in times or extreme stress or danger and the back, limbs, and lower half of face must be covered to prevent the skin and muscles in those areas from painfully peeling off. Because the disease is hereditary, it is NOT contagious. There are times where he can look like a normal pony, but these times are rare. Other than the above differences, this pony is no different in ability to any average normal pony and thus should be treated as a normal average pony. -Doctor John Smith P.S. It also causes bad breath
Waitaminute, I know I've been using the whole 'medical condition' excuse to hide my changeling-ness, but I never actually read the 'Doctor's Note' myself. I wonder what that time lord wrote down?
You take out the Doctor's Note and start to read it,
This pony here suffers from Dyschromatophthalm Dermatoastheniapathy or "Discolored-eyed Skin Weakness Disorder" or D.E.S.W.D.
It is a hereditary abnormality that causes an malformation in ocular development affecting the Vitreous humor thus causing the eyes to turn pure blue and said abnormality also weakens the skin tissues on the limbs, back, and lower half of the face so they're especially sensitive to the environment. Adrenaline also further discolors the Vitreous humor and causes the eyes to temporarily turn a glowing orange color.
In basic Equestrian, DESWD is a disorder which causes the pony to have pure blue eyes which turn glowing orange in times or extreme stress or danger and the back, limbs, and lower half of face must be covered to prevent the skin and muscles in those areas from painfully peeling off from exposure.
Because the disease is hereditary, it is NOT contagious. There are times where he can look like a normal pony, but these times are rare. Other than the above differences, this pony is no different in ability to any average normal pony and thus should be treated as a normal average pony.
-Doctor John Smith
P.S. It also causes bad breath
You blink before saying,
"What in the name of the Equestrian language does this mean? Is this even Equestrian? No wonder ponies don't ask questions after I show this to them, they're too speechless trying to understand what it says! Ah, I'll ask the Doctor what this means later. Or should that be sooner or now? He is a time traveler after all..."
What that, you shove the note back into his trench coat pocket and continue wandering around town.
The nightmare won't get out of your head, so you turn to one person/pony/bug that could possibly know what you're feeling. About last night- Down, boy. I don't even have a body of my own. What? No! My dream last night, what was it about? That... thing said the Nightmare was coming again. Those words again? Curious. Unfortunately, I saw nothing last night. The dream realm operates on its own rules, and ponies have more hooves than there are beings in the world that truly understand it. But you're in my head. And aren't you Nightmare- In case you haven't noticed, I am not exactly in my former state. If you want to know more about this dream, ask the treachorous s!*@ in charge of my night.
As you walk around aimlessly, you can't help but keep thinking about nightmare so eventually you turn to the one... thing that might have some answers,
So... About last night-
Down, colt. I don't even have a body of my own.
What? No! you think with a blush, My dream last night, what was it about? That... thing said the Nightmare was coming again.
Those words again? Curious. Unfortunately, I saw nothing last night. The dream realm operates on its own rules, and a cyclops would have more eyes than there are beings in the world that truly understand it.
But you're in my head. Shouldn't you be able to see my dreams?
In case you haven't noticed, I don't have full control. If you want to know more about this dream, ask the treacherous weakling in charge of the night that should be rightfully mi-.
You ignore the DFV after she starts to ramble. Deciding that you won't be able to get anything useful out of the DFV, you continue wandering around town now thinking about the possible nitpicks and plot holes in movies and serials you like.
After wandering around town, realize you're hungry so you go into a Trottingham-style Pub and eat a lunch there of Cottage Pie (made with grounded legumes instead of meat like in the real world) and Butterbeer (after being repeatedly told that it is NOT alcoholic, it may be your new favorite beverage). 26 Bits remaining
*growl*
You were in the middle of making your brain hurt thinking of all the plot holes in a typical Shymalamadingdong "film" (Seriously? The bucking TREES were dead the whole time?), when your stomach growls,
"Whoa, how long have I been wandering around like a lonely zombie for?"
You look at the Ponyville clocktower and see that it's past noon. You look down and spot a "Flankagan's Pub" with a sidewalk-board advertising a "4 Bit Cottage Pie special".
I have no idea what a "cottage pie" is, but a good deal's a good deal.
And with that you trot into the pub for lunch.
ONE LUNCH LATER
You had a meal of this "Cottage Pie" (which was ground roasted legumes mixed with vegetables topped with a mashed potato crust mixed with cheese) along with a glass of "Butterbeer" (which you were repeatedly assured wasn't alcoholic and after experiencing it's creamy butterscotch-esque taste, you're now internally debating whether this or Sweet Apple Acres Cider is your favorite beverage) and you liked the place's Trottingham-style decor (including a framed autograph by C.E. Moffat, the mare who created the Doctor Whooves serials). You paid for your meal, left a tip, then walked out.
25 Bits remaining
Well that was a satisfying lunch. Now where should I actually go...
Well you are still a little shaken up from that dream, but still, this whole "Nightmare Comes" thing is getting intense. Now the freaking Headless Monks are a part of it. Well if the Doctor isn't going to answer any time soon, the best you can do is gather your own knowledge. Maybe, just maybe you can find something at the Library. When you get to the Library you tense up before you knock since you are entering the domain of Purple Smart, leader of the Deadly 6...but you gotta do it. The door is answered by Spike, and when you ask for Twilight, you find she isn't there. Spike: Ya, she's out with the girls for a pet play date/Ya she's out right now. Don't know where. The other day she was at a pet playdate with the others (Depending on which episode we're doing next) You: And she didn't bring you? Spike: No, I don't have a pet why would I go? You: Oh...well...I kind of thought... Spike: That I was her pet? (upset) You: Well no...but...with the way she treats you sometimes... Spike: She does do things sometimes that are upsetting yes, but then again so do I. You: But... Spike: Look, I'll tell you what I told the others... She's my best friend and like a sister to me, ever since the day she hatched me. I just work for her now OK? You: So she's like your mother/sister/owner/boss figure...thing? Spike: It's...complicated You: I bet...look, sorry if I upset you man. Spike: No no, it's fine, Ponies make that mistake all the time, even if I wish they wouldn't...(sigh), so anyway, what did you want? You: Well, I was looking for some information, but since your...Twilight isn't here then Spike: I can still help, I live here too you know? You ask him if he's ever heard of anything concerning "The Nightmare Comes" but all he thinks it means is that Nightmare Night is coming. Also, he points you to Psychology of Dreams and Old Pony Legends when you talk about your Nightmare and the Headless Horse. The book diagnoses you with having a subconcious Master/Slave dominance fetish, and possible Oedipal complex as well. You don't like the sound of that. Also, Old Pony Legends you skim through You: Let's see...The Rusty Horseshoe?...Nah, The Mare in the Moon? Classic but not needed...though now that I think about it, where the heck has that formation on the moon gone? DFV: You would know if you weren't such an oblivious oaf You: Meh, it's not important, ah here we are, The headless horse...apparently I need to make it across a bridge to a church if it attacks me with a pumpkin...good to know. While there, you also find something awesome You: Huh? What's this? Element Bending for Dummies Book 4: Air Apparently it's all about being able to manipulate air to do your bidding in all kinds of ways. You: Oh sweet! Definitely checking you out. You pick up Book 2: Earth You: And you too...hey Book 1 and 3 appear to be missing You: Yo Spike! Where's Water and Fire at? He looks up the registry Spike: Apparently the spa twins checked them out, something about revolutionizing hot water therapy OK, probably not gonna get those books for awhile then, you don't think you'll leave that spa without getting jumped by those two. Although, Twins...Neighponese twins...NO BAD BUG! Even though being able to manipulate glorious burning fire with your hooves sounds amazing. Being able to watch it's majestic flames burn away any buildings or ponies in your way as you laugh at the hilarity and...OK Seriously, You've got to keep your arsonist tendencies down But still, Two for four ain't bad. You get a library card from Spike so you can check out your books, and the Dream one too because why not? Inventory: Items added Element Bending for Dummies Books 2 and 4: Earth and Air Psychology of Dreams Library Card
You briefly wander some more before coming across the library.
Great, the lair of the bookwormish underling of Solar Flank...
You gulp nervously and think,
I should just avoid this place like an Adam Saddler movie, but this place could have the answers I need...
Gathering as much courage as you can (you almost wish that Butterbeer were actual beer... Almost.) you walk up to the library and knock on the door. Spike opens the door and you ask,
"Is the bookwor- I mean Miss Sparkle present?"
"Twilight's not here?" Spike replies,
"Really?"
"Yeah, she's out with the girls for a pet play date."
"And she didn't bring you?" you ask,
"No, I don't have a pet. Why would I go?"
"Oh... well... I kind of thought..." you stammer nervously,
"That I was her pet?" he says upset,
"Well no... but... with the way she treats you sometimes..." you cautiously say before being interrupted by Spike,
"She does do things sometimes that are upsetting yes, but then again so do I."
"But..."
"Look, I'll tell you what I told the others... She's my best friend and like a sister to me, ever since the day she hatched me. I just work for her now, OK?"
"So she's like your mother/sister/owner/boss figure... thingy?"
"It's... complicated."
"I bet... look, sorry if I upset you man." you say apologetically,
"No no, it's fine, Ponies make that mistake all the time, even if I wish they wouldn't..." He sighs before continuing, "So anyway, what did you want?"
"Well, I was looking for some information, but since your... Twilight isn't here then-"
"I can still help, I live here too you know?"
"Okay... Um... You ever heard of something about a 'THE NIGHTMARE COMES' or anything about dreams of headless hooded ponies?"
"Hmm... That could be just something related to Nightmare Night, but just in case..."
Spike walks inside the library and you follow him in as he climbs a ladder and retrieves two books. He comes down to you and hands you, "Psychology of Dreams" and "Old Pony Legends". You thank him, place the books on the table, and start skimming through the "Psychology of Dreams" book while Spike continues shelving books and dusting. You end up self-diagnosing yourself as "having a subconscious Master/Slave dominance fetish, and possible Oedipal complex as well"
I have absolutely NO idea what those terms mean, but it's probably not good...
You then start on the "Old Pony Legends" book,
"Let's see... The Rusty Horseshoe? Nah. The Mare in the Moon? Classic, but not needed... Though now that I think about it, where the hay has that formation on the moon gone?"
You would know if you weren't such an oblivious oaf
"Meh, it's not important, ah here we are, The headless horse... Apparently I need to make it across a bridge to a church if it attacks me with a pumpkin... Good to know."
You then spot a title from the corner of your eye which immediately captures your attention.
"Huh? What's this? Element Manipulation: Vol 4. Air?"
Seeing as you're a big fan of The Last Spellbender animated serial (BUCK the movie "adaptation"), you rush over and read the description on the back. Apparently it's all about using physical movements to channel the innate magic within all creatures in order to manipulate air to do your bidding in all kinds of ways,
"Oh sweet! Definitely checking you out."
You reach next to the spot where you found the book and say,
"And you too... hey!"
Volumes 1, 2, and 3 appear to be missing,
"Yo Spike! Where's Water, Earth, and Fire at?"
Spike looks up the registry,
"Apparently Aloe checked them out, something about revolutionizing hot tub and mud therapy."
Probably not gonna get those books back for a long while, although I could go over to the spa and ask Lotus and Aloe. Although they are twins working in a spa and probably busy covering each other with a sheen of massage oi- NO! BAD BUG!
You shake your head free of inappropriate thoughts and continue,
Anyway... It would have been cool to be able to manipulate glorious fire with my hooves. Watching the majestic flames burn away buildings and ponies in a cleansing flame as I laugh in the glow- OK seriously, I need to keep my arsonist tendencies under control! Anyway, Air isn't bad. I could blow out candles, glide, and suck the air out of the fillerfooler's lungs by creating a ball of suffocation around- GAH! What is wrong with me!
Deciding to leave before you have any more psychotic thoughts, you get a library card from Spike so you can check out the book and the Dream one too, as well as the mythology one because why not?
As you think that maybe Nightmare Moon forgot to tell something important, you decide to send a card to the only one that could know something about your dream. But you don't know how could be good to write the card, but you heared before about the friendship cards the leader of the Evil Five send to Sunbutt so you decide to do the same. Dear Princess Luna Last Night I have a strange dream about a strange headless figure kidnapping me and saying "The nightmare is coming" As you are the Alicorn that know and control the dreams, I ask you if you could know something Signed: Baker Sylvester Tennant P.S: Send your answer to Sweet Apple Acres if possible You read the card, as you are still not sure and send it. "You know that if she come here and detect me, she will know you are the hooded offender... right?" "What?" "I was she... She was me... I doubt she could not detect me... not to say if she see our daughter Just as you think about broke the card, a cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane crash with you and a little air send the card far away "Well... At least the card is not anymore here" You think... but the breeze become a airflow and after a long travel the card enter in the window of Luna bedroom
Trip on your scarf.
You thank and say goodbye to Spike before leaving the library. Your mind comes back to that Nightmare and seeing as how DFV isn't gonna be any help, you decide to send a card to the only one that could know something about your dream...
If the bookworm leader of the Deadly Five sends these "friendship cards" to Solar Flank, maybe I can do the same...
With that, you pick up a conveniently placed postcard (with a picture of a pumpkin about to elbow-drop a corn) on the ground and begin to write on it as you continue walking,
Dear Princess Luna,
Last Night, I had a strange dream about a strange headless figure kidnapping me, tying me up, and saying "The nightmare is coming"
Seeing as you are the Alicorn that knows and controls the dreams, I ask you if you could know something.
Signed, Baker Sylvester Tennant
P.S: Send your answer to Sweet Apple Acres if possible
You read over the postcard as you're not sure how or even if you should send it when,
You are aware that if she comes here and detect me, she will know you are the hooded offender... right?
What?
And if that happens, even I fear what she will do to our daughter...
You're about to respond when you trip on your scarf and fall face-first into the ground, causing the postcard to fly off into the wind.
Well... The postcard's not here anymore so I guess that's that. You think in a uncaring tone as you watch the postcard fly away.
AN HOUR LATER IN CANTERLOT
The postcard enters the window to the chambers of Princess Luna as the lunar monarch was "staying up late" playing Smash Sis's on the Nintendo 64. The postcard lands in front of her causing her to take notice,
"Oh, what tis this be? A letter from one of thou's loyal subjects?"
Luna pauses the game and reads the letter.
"Hmmmm, it seems as if mine Nightmare Night shall have double the missions then what thou first thought..."
BACK TO THE PRESENT IN PONYVILLE
You find a vacant bench under the shade of a tree and sit down on it to rest. As you rest you think,
Sweetie Belle says in an obviously bored tone, The rest of the CMC and Nightshade nod their heads in agreement. Nightshade begins to think of something to do, when a light bulb appears above her head and she shouts out,
"I got it!"
The CMC look at her in surprise and Applebloom asks,
"What ya got, Nightshade?"
Nightshade smiles and says,
"We can try and get our cutie marks in pranking!"
Scootaloo jumps up and nods her head in excitement, while Applebloom and Sweetie nod their heads in agreement. Then, they all shout at once,
Well Night Shade, you know about all the ponies that have given you and your Daddy trouble over the last year and a half. Time for some payback...your style. The List: The Deadly 6: All of them, even though they seemed pretty nice at the party, they still need some comeupence for everything they've done, even Fluttershy because your Daddy told you about how she killed a bear. You like bears, they sing karaoke at pizza places and eat honey, how could she? DT and Silver Spoon: You've already conquered them insult wise, but they've given your best friends so much baloney in the past that they deserve more. Freddy Fazbear's Pizza and the Olive Grotto: Kick ME out will they? That's BullSpit! THEY SAID IT WAS ALL YOU CAN EAT!!! AND I DIDN'T GET TO EAT ALL THAT I COULD!!!! DJPON3 and the Spa Twins: Because everytime your daddy talks to them he keeps shooting blood out of his nose and they laugh. You'll show them what's funny! Applebloom: Wow, yall actually have a list of ponies that have wronged you? You: Ya, Ms. Cheerilee said taking notes would help me focus in the long run, so I started taking notes of everything. Scootaloo: She really doesn't like your dad. Sweetie: Ya, I've never seen her suplex anypony before You: Ooh, thanks for the reminder Ms. Cheerilee: NOPONY THROWS DADDY IN THE DIRT AND DOESN'T LET ME SAY WHAT I BUCKING WELL PLEASE IN PUBLIC!!! You: We're gonna need some supplies from Barnyard Bargains. Alright girls, let's get to it. First, since you are at the Farmhouse, you mash up a bunch of pears and put them in AJ's Applesauce cup she was saving for lunch. AB: Oooh, she ain't gonna like that You then Bring Winona with you for later
With an evil smirk, Nightshade whips out a list from her backpack and shows it to Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo:
The Deadly Six: Hick, Rainbow Fillyfooler, Pink Psycho, Purple Bookworm, Tacky McStabby Flank, Fluttershy:They seemed pretty nice at the party, but they still need to pay for what they did to daddy! Although Fluttershy is really nice (she'd make a good mommy someday) Daddy told me she killed a bear. I like bears, they sing karaoke at pizza places and eat honey, how could she!?
DT and SS:I've already conquered those motherbuckers at insults, but they've given my new best friends so much horseapples in the past that they deserve more!
Freddy Fazbear's Pizza and the Olive Grotto: Kick ME out will they? That's BullSpit! THEY SAID IT WAS ALL YOU CAN EAT!!! AND I DIDN'T GET TO EAT ALL THAT I COULD!!!!
Octavia, DJPONTREE, and the Spa Twins:Every time Daddy talks about them, his nose bleeds. THEY WILL PAY FOR BREAKING DADDY'S NOSE!
"Wow, ya'll actually have a list of ponies that have wronged you?" Apple Bloom asks in an impressed tone.
"Yeah, Ms. Cheerilee said taking notes would help me focus in the long run, so I started taking notes of everything." Nightshade replies
"She really doesn't like your dad." Scootaloo comments
"Ya, I've never seen her throw something at anypony before." Sweetie Belle adds.
"Ooh, thanks for the reminder." Nightshade says as she makes an addition to the "marks" list,
Ms. Cheerilee:NOPONY THROWS DADDY IN THE DIRT AND DOESN'T LET ME SAY WHAT I BUCKING WELL PLEASE IN PUBLIC!!!
"We're gonna need some supplies from Barnyard Bargains. Alright girls, let's get to it!"
"Shouldn't we get mah sister out of the way first? We're still still at the farm after all." Apple Bloom says.
"Ooo, good idea Apple Bloom! First we take out the Hick, then onward to Barnyard Bargains!" Nightshade declares,
Apple Bloom gives Nightshade an annoyed look at her nickname for Applejack, but Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo agree. The CMC find some pears and Nightshade and Apple Bloom sneak into the kitchen while Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo keep lookout. Nightshade mashes the pears as Apple Bloom retrieves Applejack's cup of applesauce that she eats as a snack every other day. Nightshade pours the mashed pears into the cup and Apple Bloom puts the cup back in its normal place before getting Winona on Nightshade's suggestion. The four fillies (and dog) then innocently whistle (except for the dog while Nightshade crosses "Hick" off her marks list) as they walk out of Sweet Apple Acres.
"Oooh, she ain't gonna like that." Apple Bloom comments as the four walk towards Barnyard Bargains
"I know! Isn't it bucking awesome!" Nightshade says to the shock of several ponies nearby,
When they get to Barnyard Bargains, they buy a bunch of prank supplies (sadly, Winona had to stay outside because apparently this is the one store in town where pets aren't allowed and after a game of "rock, paper, scissors" (don't ask how ponies can play this game with hooves instead of hands) Sweetie Belle is left to wait outside with Winona) and after leaving the store, they head for their first target...
Nightshade and the others decide that the best one to prank first are the Queens of pranks in ponyville, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash, so they begin to think about a great prank for them, and later prank the other Elements of Harmony but first RD and Pinkie as they are the more hard to prank Applebloom: What could we do for a prank? Scootaloo: I don't think Rainbow Dash is going to fall in a prank, she is too awesome Sweetie: we know, we know... Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes Nightshade: I have the perfect prank for Rainbow Dash Nightshade wisper to the crusaders the plan, and they agree with the head smiling. First they search for Rainbow Dash that as common is sleeping in a cloud. Nightshade and Scootaloo are the only with wings so they go slowly and using Super Glue, the put the cone of a Ice Cream in the head of Rainbow Dash and use cyan paint. Nightshade: when she look to the mirror, she is going to think she ascended to Alicorn... now is Pinkie Pie... We need to think a good prank for her... She will not be as easy
"Alright ladies, we need to overthrow the princesses of pranks in Ponyville first; Pink Psycho and Rainbow Fillyfooler!" Nightshade declares.
"Nightshade, it's Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash, and what could we do for a prank?" Apple Bloom asks.
"I don't think Rainbow Dash is going to fall in a prank, she is too awesome!" Scootaloo fanfillies,
"We know, we know..." Sweetie Belle says with an annoyed roll of her eyes,
Nightshade gives a cunning smirk and says, "Oh, I already thought of the perfect prank for the rainbow fillyfooler..."
Nightshade whispers her plan to the other crusaders, and they all smile and nod in agreement.
First, was finding Rainbow Dash which was easy since she's usually napping on a cloud. One trampoline set-up (Scootaloo can't fly and Nightshade's wings are secretly hidden beneath her purple vest) and many, many bounce attempts later (that usually end up with crash landings for the fillies), Scootaloo manages to glue a cyan blueberry-flavored ice cream cone to a sleeping Rainbow Dash's forehead (the pegasus sleeps through this though).
"Hah! When she wakes up, she'll think she's an alicorn and when she tries to show off her new magic, she'll look like a complete doofus!" Nightshade declares.
"She'll still be 20% cooler than any old doofus." Scootaloo comments.
Nightshade: What would be a good prank for pinkie pie? Scootaloo:I know! we could give her a treasure map which is just a dotted line in a circle around the ponyville library, and tell her there is a stash of nightmare night candy at the end for her! Sweetie belle and 'bloom: BRILLIANT! Nightshade: Awesome! But pinkie is a little fragile, let's give her some actual candy when she realizes it was a prank... Sweetie belle: Do we have to? Nightshade: Remember what happened to the last pony who made pinkie cry? The CMC then shiver in unison as they remember what happened to poor melon cream, he and pinkie went missing for days, but they eventually found him after pinkie reappeared and told them where he was. When they found him he was shivering in the fetal position on the floor, muttering about a pink demon. Sweetie belle: You're right... let's go to my place and raid that stash my sister thinks i don't know about! CMC: Cutie mark crusaders pranksters YAY!
Nightshade crosses "Rainbow Fillyfooler" off the marks list and says,
"Now what would be a good prank for Pink Psycho?"
"I know! we could give her a treasure map which is just a dotted line in a circle around the Ponyville library, and tell her there is a stash of Nightmare Night candy at the end for her!" Scootaloo
"BRILLIANT!" Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle say,
"Awesome! But Daddy tells me that Pinkie is unstable, so let's give her some actual candy when she realizes it was a prank..." Nightshade adds cautiously,
"Do we have to?" Sweetie Belle complains,
"Do you want to be sliced up and baked into a cupcake?" Nightshade responds,
"Yer Daddy said that Pinkie AIN'T a psycho killer yesterday, remember?" Apple Bloom reminds Nightshade.
"Oh yeah..." Nightshade says obliviously
"Yeah, but Nightshade does make a good point. Remember what happened to the last pony who made Pinkie cry?" Scootaloo says.
Scootaloo, Apple Bloom, and Sweetie Belle then shiver in unison as they remember what happened to poor Melon Cream, he and pinkie went missing for days, but they eventually found him after Pinkie reappeared and told them where he was. When they found him he was shivering in the fetal position on the floor, muttering about a pink demon.
"You're right... let's go to my place and raid that secret candy stash my sister thinks I don't know about!" Sweetie Belle says,
"Why would she have a secret stash of candy?" Nightshade asks in confusion,
"So nopony would discover that she cheats on her diets." Sweetie Belle answers. "She even has stashes for potato chips, ice cream, and extra-syrupy soda."
"Ohhhhhh..." the rest of the CMC say in realization and Winona bark because she's a dog.
Why would anypony want to go on a diet? It's "die" with a T! Nightshade thinks.
"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS PRANKSETERS!!! YAY!!!"
You all go to the Carousal Botique and you pour green dye into Rarity's shampoo after Sweetie told you she hate's green hair.
Nightshade, Apple Bloom, and Sweetie Belle sneak into the Carousal Boutique as Apple Bloom waits outside with Winona as lookout. Sweetie grabs Rarity's candy stash, while Nightshade and Scootaloo go replace Rarity's shampoo with green dye. While they're switching the labels on the bottles, Nightshade asks,
"Why does Tacky McStabby Flank hate green so much?"
Sweetie Belle (who is just walking in with a tiny bag of candy) and Scootaloo look at her in confusion at Rarity's nickname, but Sweetie shrugs it off and says,
"Ever since Trixie turned her hair green during her performance, she could never stand the sight of it. She also says green hair is 'as tacky as the Offender's sense of style.'"
Scootaloo gets a defensive look and says,
"His looks are not tacky!"
Sweetie agrees, and begins to talk to Scoots about it, but soon they notice how quiet Nightshade's being so they ask,
"Hey Nightshade, why you so quiet?"
Nightshade looks shocked at being snapped out of her thoughts, but responds in a sad tone,
"Oh, just bad memories about Trixie's show is all. Really... bad memories"
When you get betrayed by somepony you trust and your daddy turns into a scary berserker monster, it tends to leave bad memories. Nightshade thinks sadly.
Sweetie Belle puts her hoof on Nightshade's shoulder in comfort, and Nightshade nods her head in appreciation. They finish switching the bottles, so they head out to Sugarcube Corner as Nightshade crosses off "Tacky McStabby Flank"...
First: DT and SP You spy them both at Sugar Cube corner speaking in their dumb valley girl accents. Put gorilla glue on their chairs when they get up to get more treats. They get stuck and start complaining while Pinkie Pie giggles and tells them don't worry, she starts grabbing for some Kerosene while telling them about Rainbow Dash wanting to get a new pet. You can't let her unstuck them just yet. You: Hey Pinkie! Pinkie: Yes? You: The Friendship Express just went off the rails while going towards Canterlot and now 3 cars worth of Pies and Cakes and Brownies are just laying there Pinkie gasps real loud while floating in the air! Pinkie: OH NO! CODE RED EMERGENCY! EVERYPONY OUT OF SUGARCUBE CORNER WE'RE CLOSED! I MUST PERFORM MY SACRED DUTY! She runs out forgetting about the two stuck girls as everyone leaves DT: Wait! What about us? SP: Hello? DT: Don't leave us here You and the rest laugh evily at this as you leave them in the darkened and closed Sugar Cube Corner.
The CMC have just buried the "treasure" with Winona's help and approach SugerCube corner and Nightshade declares,
"Come on girls, we should be nearing Sugarcube Corner... now!"
"Good, now all we need to do is give Pinkie the ma-Oh no..." Apple Bloom says before stopping in dread.
"What oh no?" Scootaloo asks in confusion.
Applebloom points towards Sugercube Corner causing the other three to follow her hoof and see Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon sitting in Sugarcube Corner.
"Ohhhh, that oh no." Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo say simultaneously.
Nightshade grins evilly and says,
"This is bucking great! Now we can eat two pies with one bite! We can prank those motherbuckers and Pinkie!"
The CMC nod and also begin to grin evilly at the idea, but Apple Bloom suddenly asks,
"Nice, but... how do we prank them?"
Nightshade's grins widens as she whispers to them the plan...
Nightshade walks into Sugarcube Corner, walks right up to Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon's table and yells,
"Bucking fatflanks!" before running off. An outraged Diamond and Silver dash out of their chairs to give chase giving Apple Bloom the opportunity to make her move...
ONE TOTALLY AWESOME PARKOUR CHASE LATER THAT WE'RE NOT GONNA SHOW- I MEAN DESCRIBE
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon walk back into Sugarcube Corner with messed up manes and tails as they complain,
"I told that freak to come back to us so we could teach her a lesson!" Diamond Tiara says.
"I know right! She just kept climbing, even after I made fun of her hair style." Silver Spoon adds.
"And she was running so fast! We almost got her too, but she would just jump off the wall like a monkey!"
"I know, and then I started to sweat, I'm not supposed to sweat!"
"I even offered to pay her 50 Bits if she stopped moving, but what does that brat do? She says B-word No! Nopony says no to me!" Diamond Tiara vents.
"And then we got stuck in that awful narrow alleyway!"
They sit back down in their seats, but get stuck.
"Huh... why can't I get up!" Silver Spoon complains as she struggles to get out of her seat.
"What are you... I CAN'T GET UP EITHER!" Diamond Tiara whines in alarm.
"SOMEPONY HELP!"
"WE'RE STUCK ON THIS STUPID BENCH, SOMEPONY HELP ME AND I'LL GIVE YOU A COUPON FOR ONE-SIXTEENTH OF A BIT OFF ANYTHING IN MY DADDY'S STORE!!!"
Pinkie giggles and says,
"Don't worry little ones, your Auntie Pinkie is gonna get you out once I find the Kerons-"
"Hey Pinkie!" Nightshade interupts, not wanting her to free the brats yet.
"Yes?"
"We just found a treasure map that'll lead you to a never ending supply of Nightmare Night candy!"
"REALLY!?! CODE CANDY EMERGENCY! EVERYPONY OUT OF SUGARCUBE CORNER WE'RE CLOSED! I MUST FIND THE SURGERY GOODNESS THAT IS EVERLASTING CANDY!!!"
Pinkie dashes out the door and grabs the map from Scootaloo (who was "conveniently" standing next to the door with the "treasure map" in an outstretched hoof), forgetting about the two mean girls as everypoy leaves,
"Wait! What about us?" Diamond Tiara whines,
"Hello?" Silver Spoon asks in alarm.
"Don't leave us here!" they both scream causing the CMC giggle vindictively at this as they leave them in the darkened and closed Sugar Cube Corner. Nightshade crosses off "DT and SS" and "Pink Psycho" as she munches on a cherry-changa that she snatched off an unoccupied table...
You then head to the library. Spike says hello and you say hi back. He's cute for a dragon. You then remember what your Daddy said and kick him in the balls. He falls to the floor in pain Spike: Whyyyyyyy? (Hi Pitched) Night Shade: Sorry Spike, Daddy's Rules You and the others then help Spike get some Ice, before you head upstairs and put itching powder into Twilight's bed
The Cutie Mark Crusaders (and Winona) walk into the library where Spike is dusting the bookshelves. He turns to them and says,
"Hey girls..." He pauses when he sees Nightshade and blushes as he says,
"Oh... Uh... hey Nightshade.... Uh you look really pretty today."
He's pretty cute for a dragon- wait
"Sorry about this Spike."
Spike gets a confused look and says,
"What are you apo-"
"BUCK OFF PERVERT! FALCON KICK!"
Nightshade's flame-encased hoof impacts with Spike's nether regions with enough force to flip him upside down and send him slamming belly-first into the wall, face on the floor, feet and tail bent over head.
"Woah Nelly!" "Yikes!" "Oooo that's gonna leave a mark!"
Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo all exclaim as they cover their eyes, ears, and mouth respectively. Even Winona whines and winces as her ears droop to her sides. Spike falls over on his side and curls into a fetal position while clutching his downstairs in pain while whining in a high-pitched voice,
"Whhhhhhhhhyyyy?"
"I'm really sorry Spike, but my daddy said that if a stallion ever hit on me, I should kick him in the nads!"
"Your dad must really protective of you, huh?" Sweetie Belle asks/comments,
"You bet!" Nightshade smiles brightly as Apple Bloom goes into the kitchen to get ice for Spike while Scootaloo keeps a lookout with Winona. When Apple Bloom comes back with the ice, Nightshade asks,
"By the way Spike, you know what book the Purple Bookworm is reading right now?"
"I Have No Snout Yet I Must Whinny... On her desk there... Owww...'' Spike whines, still curled up on the floor in pain.
"Thanks Spike!" Nightshade cheerfully says while patting the dragon on the head.
"Worth it..." Spike says as he accepts the bag of ice from Apple Bloom and puts it over his wounded pride.
Apple Bloom keeps an eye on Spike while Nightshade and Sweetie Belle proceed to remove the dust jackets from Twilight's book and a nearby pop-up book, sprinkle itching powder between every page of the pop-up book, swap the dust jackets, and leave the itching powder-filled pop-up book on the desk where Twilight's book was. After apologizing to Spike again (who's recovered enough to start limping towards his bed) and crossing "Purple Bookworm" off the list, they leave and head over to the get prank revenge on the two restaurants...
After saying bye to Spike, who keeps a 15 foot distance from you, you all go to the Olive Grotto and let Winona run around in the kitchen...which just so happens to have a health inspector there so they fail their standards and are forced to close. You then head to Freddy Fazbear's and see that it's already closing. You: Oh great, how are we supposed to prank now? Sweetie: I don't know, but I don't want to go inside, that place scares me Scootaloo: It's just a bunch of animatronics Sweetie! AB: ya, robots aren't scary You: Ya, and Freddy sings with a microphone and top hat...Ooh, I know, since it's abandoned, let's just take what's inside You find the place abandoned, and horrifying to say the least, except for four dismantled animatronics. You decide to take their heads because you find out they still play music. Sweetie Belle all but faints when you, Applebloom and Scootaloo comes out with them.
After releasing Winona to run wild through the kitchen of the Olive Grotto (which happened to be having a health inspection that day...) and then returning her home to Sweet Apple Acres, the CMC go to Freddy Fazbear's only to see that the place is being shut down by Royal Decree (something to do with "night security guards going missing")
"Oh great, how are we supposed to prank it now?!" Nightshade complains,
"I don't know, but I don't want to go inside, that place scares me!" Sweetie says.
"It's just a bunch of animatronics Sweetie!" Scootaloo says.
"Ya, I've seen enough Michael Beigh movies to know that robots aren't scary, just very explod-y." Apple Bloom adds.
"Yeah, and Freddy sings with a microphone and top hat... Ooh, I know, since it's abandoned, let's just take what's inside!" Nightshade suggests.
Apple Bloom and especially Scootaloo agree, but Sweetie fearfully volunteers to stay outside as lookout. The three find the place abandoned, and horrifying to say the least (Nightshade is mainly horrified that there's no leftover pizza or soda) as they make their way to the four dismantled animatronics. They decide to take their heads because you find out they still play music and when they come back outside, Sweetie Belle faints causing Nightshade to grin evilly and say,
"This is gonna be delicious..."
Nightshade gets hungry so she spends the 5 bits Bugze gave her on lunch. After being rejected by the Olive Grotto she goes to a Burger restaurant and orders a triple cheese hayburger with super-sized horseshoe fries and a extra-large chocolate milkshake (she would have ordered more, but that would have exceeded the 5 bits she has).
You leave the Rabbit's head at Cheerilee's house on her bed. You leave the Chicken head at Vinyl Scratch's store in her office, and you put the Fox head in one of the Spa Rooms. (You guys are really good at sneaking, or everyone else is distracted) Also, when at the Spa, You find a book Night Shade: hmmm...Element Manipulation Vol 2: Earth...Somehow I feel as if this is meant for me. You take the book, you'll return it you swear, but you just want to give a read later...no need to tell daddy.
Lastly, Fluttershy. The others think it's a bad idea since she's scared, like of everything, and she was nice to you at the party, but so was everyone else and you still pranked them. No. She Murdered a Big Fuzzy Bear with her bare hooves (pun intended) Time for ironic payback. You put Freddy's head on her window sill and set the timer for his music like you did with the others.
Speaking of which, prank Angel Bunny by pretending to be a Timberwolf, scaring the little guy into running straight into a low-hanging branch knocking him out cold. Now you are all pranked out, go get some dinner.
As you and the others listen in, Scootaloo looks at you and says S: Remind me to never get on your bad side The others shake their head in agreement.
SEVERAL SET-UPS LATER
"Remind me never to get on your bad side." Scootaloo says as Apple Bloom and Sweeite Belle nod in agreement over their bale nuggets. The four of you have had a busy morning setting up pranks and are now eating lunch at the local Hayburger joint. To recap, you four;
-Stuffed Octavia's cello with rubber ducks -Put the Rabbit's head at Cheerilee's house on her bed -Put the Chicken head in Vinyl Scratch's store under her DJ Turntable -Put the Fox head in one of the Spa Rooms (interestingly, Nightshade comes across a book there titled Element Manipulation Vol 2: Earth. Sensing that the book was somehow meant for her, she stuffed it into her backpack while nopony was looking. I'll return it, I swear, but I just want to give a read later. No need to tell daddy....) -Finally, they put Freddy's head on Fluttershy's window still and set the timer for his music like Nightshade did with the others. The other three were opposed to this at first due to how sweet and fragile Fluttershy is, but go along when Nightshade tells them about how Fluttershy mercilessly murdered a Big Fuzzy Bear with her bare hooves. They did run into some trouble with Fluttershy's pet rabbit, but Nightshade solved this problem by putting Freddy's head in front of her and roaring, scaring the rabbit into running away and knocking himself out on a low-lying branch.
"With all that pranking we did, I'm surprised we still don't have our prankster Cutie Marks yet." Apple Bloom comments.
Nightshade takes another bite out of her triple cheese-hayburger with extra secret sauce as she says,
"So *gulp* I have another prank idea."
"What is it? Are we gonna prank the Mayor?"
"Mah brother?"
"Caramel?"
"No no and no." Nightshade answers as she stuffs another hoof-full of horseshoe fries into her mouth, "We're gonna prank my Daddy... Again!"
The CMC gasp, but then Applebloom gets a confused look on her face as she asks,
"Yeah... I might have put all the blame on my Daddy for all the pranks we pulled by leaving a flashcard saying "B.S.T. was here..." at all of their houses."
"WHAT?!" the CMC all scream at once.
Nightshade puts her hooves up defensively as she says,
"Woah woah, don't worry, it's just a prank. My Daddy was the best at pranking back at his old home. He taught me everything I know about pranking, so he won't be too mad."
The CMC look at each other before nodding their heads reluctantly. Nightshade nods her head in excitement as she says,
"Good, now here's the plan..."
She leans in towards the CMC and starts to whisper the plan causing the CMC start to smile at how good the plan is. After Nightshades done she says,
"Alright ladies, let's put 'Operation: Monster' Mash into action!"
"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS PRANKSTERS!!! YAY!!!"
"After we're done eating of course." Nightshade says before starting to sip on her extra-large S'mores milkshake.
The CMC decide to pull a prank on Bugze having Nightshade lure him to the Froggy Bottom Bogg while the CMC pretend to be a swam monster,
And now a list of reactions that you can hear all across town as you eat dinner. Cheerilee: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Spa Twins: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Vinyl: AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! WHAT THE BUCK?!!!! Twilight: GRAAAAGGGHHHHH WHY AM I SO ITCHY?!!!! Rarity: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! GGGRRRRREEEEEENNNNN!!!!! RD: (slurred) Oh, you think that's yellin?...Allsh...show you....AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AJ: Bllllaaaahhhhh!!!! PPPPPEEEEAAAARRRRSSSS!!!!! Pinkie: THERE AREN'T REALLY BROWNIES!!!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Fluttershy: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!! HARRY! HARRY! ONE OF YOUR BEAR FRIENDS IS STARING IN MY WINDOW WITH GLOWING EYES AND PLAYING MUSIC!!! MAKE HIM GO AWAY! MAKE HIM GO AWAY! DT/SP: WE'RE STILL IN SUGARCUBE CORNER, WHY HASN'T ANYONE HELPED US?!
While sipping, Nightshade writes a quick note and gives it to a random pony saying,
"Give this to the pony wearing the awe-I mean strange clothes."
P.O.V. change: Bugze AKA B.S. Tennant (you)
While you're sitting on the bench, a random pegasus mare with a khaki coat and pink mane suddenly walks up to you, and hoofs you a letter. You give a awkward thanks as the pony leaves before you open the note and it reads,
Dear Daddy,
Please meet me in the bog in the Everfree forest Your daughter,
Nightshade
P.S You might want to leave now, because somepony's are about to have a nasty surprise.
You look at the note in both horror and confusion as you think,
Why in Luna's name did Nightshade go into the Everfree forest! Doesn't she know it's dangerous? Heck, I've almost died in that forest plenty of times to prove how dangerous it is. And what does she mean by nasty sur-
You thoughts are interrupted when you suddenly hear a bunch of female voices scream,
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! GGGRRRRREEEEEENNNNN!!!!! SUCH AN AWFUL AWFUL COLOR!!!!"
"THERE WAS BARELY ANY CANDY!!!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
"GRAAAAGGGHHHHH WHO REPLACED MY BOOK?! AND WHY AM I SO ITCHY?!!!!"
"MY CELLO!!!"
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! WHAT THE BUCK?!!!!"
"EAT MUDBENDING YOU CREEPY FOX!!!!!!"
"ALOE! YOU'RE GETTING MUD EVERYWHERE EXCEPT THE FOX!!!!!!"
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!! HARRY! HARRY! ONE OF YOUR BEAR FRIENDS IS STARING IN MY WINDOW WITH GLOWING EYES AND PLAYING MUSIC!!! MAKE HIM GO AWAY! MAKEHIMGOAWAY!"
"WE'RE STILL IN SUGARCUBE CORNER, WHY HASN'T ANYONE HELPED US?!"
You jump back startled as you think,
Why do I get the feeling that the Cutie Mark Crusaders have something to do with all of this?
Your thought is interrupted again by female screaming, but this time it's the same sentence that spells your doom...
"BAKER SYLVESTER TENNANT, YOU ARE DEAD!!!"
"Annnnnnnd that's my que to get the buck outta here."
And with that you run for your life into a far less deadly situation...the Everfree forest.
AT THE FROGGY BOTTOM BOGG
You get the bog after a long run. You look round in worry trying to find Nightshade and the CMC, but can't see them anywhere in sight! You're about to start shouting for them with the RCV when...
but the prank goes wrong when it causes a Hydra to appear. Cue fight scene or cliffhanger.
"AHHHHHHHH!!!"
You look in the direction of the scream and say to yourself,
"That sound's like... NIGHTSHADE!!! *snap* HOLD ON GIRLS I'MA COM-huh?"
You stop your shout when you see... smaller versions of classic movie monsters heading your way?
"What in the...?"
Suddenly the monsters hide behind you and they say,
"HELP US MISTER TENNANT/DADDY!"
You look at the CMC and Nightshade in confusion and ask,
"Um... honey... girls... why are you dressed as classic monsters?"
They look around in fear as they continue to huddle behind you before Sweetie shouts,
"WE WERE TRYING TO PLAY A PRANK ON YOU BY SCARING YOU IN THE BOG, BUT NOW WE'RE BEING CHASED BY AN ACTUAL MONSTER!"
You look at her in confusion as the rest of the CMC and Nightshade nod their heads to confirm Sweetie's statement. You then ask,
"What monster is chasing yo-"
*thump*
"Huh?"
You look around in confusion and growing dread as the whole landscape shakes. You start to wonder what it is as it gets closer and closer to you and the fillies...
*thump* *thump* *thump* *THUMP* *CRASH*
You look at the CMC blanking as you ask in a deadpan tone,
"It's right behind me... isn't it."
They slowly nod their heads. You sigh and slowly turn around to see...
The heads roar right in front of you, causing you to get covered head to toe in overgrown lizard saliva. Normally you would be in pants-wetting fear of this massive creature, but the screams of the terrified foals behind you have completely driven away any fear and you try not to gag as you threaten the over grown lizard...
"You better hope that this outfit can get dry cleaned cause if not... YOU'RE GONNA GO EXTINCT!!!"
You tell the girls to run, and after a Badass one-liner you run right at the Hydra and punch it...which does absolutely bucking nothing. The four heads lean down around you with a smirk as if to say "Really?" You: heh heh...
Somewhere in this, he needs to say quite calmly: "My name is Baker Sylvester Tennant. You scared my daughter. Prepare to die."
The Hydra roars again, but you continue to stand there as you growl to Nightshade, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo, behind you,
"Run."
The four fillies run for cover as you say, eyes glowing orange,
"My name is Baker Sylvester Tennant. You scared my daughter. Prepare to die."
With that you charge at the Hydra and punch it in the foot.
Which does absolutely nothing as the four heads look down towards you (3 smug and 1 confused) with a "Really?" expression.
"Heh heh..." you nervously chuckle before the Hydra rears it's heads back...
They try to eat you but your dodge training is in full swing. Thank AJ, and you guess Pinkie for that one. You start punching their heads after a few dodges and this seems to rattle them a bit, but just barely. You: What the buck? I beat down a giant bear and a freaking Goddess, why is this so hard? DFV: You defeated an infant cub, and If you recall, the dragon got the upper hand and nearly killed you, this is him times four The math hits you You: Oh Buck! DFV: Unleash me, and we might stand a chance You: NO! Not in front of the girls DFV: DON'T BE A FOOL! WE'LL BOTH DIE IF YOU DON'T! You: I SAID NO!!! FUS ROH DA!!! (this staggers it a bit) Scootaloo: Whoa, your dad is Awesome! N: Buck ya he is, he's got this You turn and see the girls haven't run away You: I told you to get out of here, now run before... you get swallowed by one of the heads, but cling to the inside of his throat before you go down all the way N: Daddy!
The Hydra's heads rain down on you one at a time, but your dodge training is in full swing allowing you to swiftly dodge every incoming head.
Guess I got to thank AJ later. And I guess Pinkie too... you think as a Hydra head comes down for the fifth time, but you take this opportunity to run up to the downed-head and Falcon Punch it.
You soon get into a pattern of "Dodge, Dodge, Falcon Punch" which rattles them, but just barely. Soon the Hydra starts trying to stomp you while lashing down 2 heads at a time causing you to think,
What the buck? I beat down a giant bear, a dragon, and a freaking sun Goddess. Why is this so hard?
You merely defeated an infant cub, the false goddess was clearly holding back due to her foolish concern for her little ponies, and If you recall, the dragon nearly killed you.
The math hits you and even you realize the odds are not in your favor,
"Oh Buck!" you scream as you roll to dodge a pair of Hydra heads.
Just unleash me and I can fry this overgrown lizard.
"NO! Not in front of the girls!" you yell as you dodge out of the way of a massive Hydra foot.
If witnesses are a problem, then I'll just crush those brats and you blame it on the Hydra if their families ask. Besides, they're a bad influence on our daughter, making her weak and petty instead of strong and-
"BUCK NO!" you shout as you Falcon Punch another Hydra head,
Your definition of 'strong' just means murder and chaos! This is EXACTLY why I'm NEVER letting you out!
DON'T BE A FOOL! WE'LL BOTH DIE IF YOU DON'T!
"I SAID NO!!!" you shout as you dodge another head while charging up your voice. When you land, you quickly pull down your face mask and scarf and shout,
FUS ROH DA!!!
You quickly pull your face cover back up as the roar of power knocks down the Hydra and sends it crashing to the ground on its back with earth-shaking force.
"Whoa, your dad is Awesome!" Scootaloo says,
"Buck ya he is, he's got this." Nightshade says,
Shocked that the foals are still here, you turn and yell,
"I told you to get out of here, now run before..." *crash*
While you were distracted, one of the Hydra heads slams its jaw around you and attempts to swallow you, but you manage to whip out your vice-grips and latch it onto the creatures uvula (dangly thing in the back of it's throat) to prevent you from falling down it's throat.
"Daddy!"
Hydra tries to swallow you, whip out 2 Molotov Cocktails from your poition sash and set yourself on fire to force the Hydra to spit you out causing you to say "I'm too hot to handle!"
With one hoof still holding onto the vise-grips to dangle you, you quickly reach into your potion sash and grab a Molotov Cocktail (4 remaining) with the other hoof before throwing it with enough force to smash against the side of the inside of the creature's throat, spreading liquid flames dripping down.
The Hydra head roars in pain and coughs you out before dunking itself into the bog water to extinguish the flames as the other heads look on in worry at their sibling head. You land with a splat, but you quickly get back up and declare,
"Yeah baby! I'm too hot to handle!"
"Yayyy!" Sweetite Belle cheers,
You turn and shouts
"Didn't you bucking hear me! RU-"
DODGE! What? In your moment of distraction, one of the heads swallows you whole. What the buck?! I told you to dodge! You know that doesn't-oh, forget this! "PSYCHO CRUSHER!" Your drilling attack rips open the hydra's throat, decapitating it and letting you free. "BOOM, HEADSHOT!" You fool... Okay, so it wasn't the head, but- No, THAT! Right before your eyes, the wounded stump of a neck grows two new heads. You stand in awe. "That... was... AWESOME!" You leap forward, shouting "PSYCHO CRUSHER!" and tearing off one of the heads again. No! "PSYCHO CRUSHER!" Stop! "PSYCHO CRUSHER!" What the buck are you doing?! "PSYCHO CRUSHER!" Seriously, I'M the one trying to calm YOU down? "PSYCHO CRUSHER!" You're not listening anyway, are you? "PSYCHO CRUSHER!" Fine, do whatever you want. I don't give a single **** "PSYCHO CRUSHER!" You stop after the last one. "Hoo, that was fun!" Silence. "Hey, you got quiet all of a sudden. What's up?" You ass. You unbelievably gigantic ass. "What? What did I do?" Why don't you ask them? You look up to see a dozen heads glaring down at you. "I... am not a smart bug."
"DODGE!" Apple Bloom screams,
"What-" *crash*
In your moment of distraction, one of the heads swallows you whole... again.
"What the buck?!" you scream as you're being swallowed.
"I told you to dodge!" Apple Bloom yells,
"You know that doesn't-oh, forget this! PSYCHO CRUSHER!"
Your drilling attack rips open the hydra's throat, decapitating it and letting you free.
You land on the ground and turn to see right before your eyes, the wounded stump of a neck grows two new heads. You stand in awe and say,
"That... was... AWESOME!" You leap forward, shouting "PSYCHO CRUSHER!" and tear off another one of the heads.
No! the DFV shouts in protest.
"PSYCHO CRUSHER!"
Stop!
"PSYCHO CRUSHER!"
What are you doing you foolish bug?!
"PSYCHO CRUSHER!"
Seriously, I'M the one trying to calm YOU down?
"PSYCHO CRUSHER!"
You're not listening anyway, are you?
"PSYCHO CRUSHER!"
Fine, do whatever you want. As the youth say these days; I don't give a horseapple.
"PSYCHO CRUSHER!" You decide to stop after that last one as you land on the ground, stumble, and say,
"Hoo! I may be really dizzy, but that was fun!"
...
"Hey, you got quiet all of a sudden. What's up?"
You idiot. You unbelievably stupid idiot...
"What? What did I do?"
Why don't you ask them?
You shake off your dizziness and look up to see a dozen heads glaring down at you.
"I... am not a smart bug."
"You think?!" the CMC shout.
You turn away from the multiheaded overgrown lizard and you respond,
"Oops... In all fairness, decapitations typicall- Hey! I thought I told you four to..." *crash*
You get swallowed again and shout,
"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!"
The CMC and Nightshade just facehoof...
You: NO NO NO NO!!! DFV: RELEASE ME YOU IDIOT!!! You: Alright Alright! Hurry before... outside you hear N: FALCON KICK!!! You then hear a massive groan times four as you are literally puked up You: EW EW EW! You see the Hydra hunched over, trying to cradle it's nethers N: Daddy, I saved you! You: You kicked it in the balls? N: Yup, just like you taught me You: Good girl. Now quick, get in the Inventory N: What about my friends? The other girls are still standing their, awestruck You: There's room enough for all of you, get in quick. All the girls get into the Inventory as you see the Hydra catching it's breath, and it is pissed
"NO NO NO NO!!!"
RELEASE ME YOU IDIOT!!!
Alright Alright! Hurry before...
"FALCON KICK!!!" you hear someling shout from the outside,
You then hear a massive groan times twelve as you are literally puked up,
"Ewwwwww! How am I ever gonna wash this out!!" you say as you get up from the gunk.
You turn and see the Hydra hunched over, trying to cradle it's nethers without any arms, Nightshade glomps you and says,
"Daddy, I saved you!"
"Wait, did you just kick a Hydra in the nards?" you ask incredulously,
"Yup, just like you taught me."
You smile with fatherly pride and say,
"Good girl. Now quick, get in the Inventory!"
"What about my friends?" she says as she turns her head and you follow her look to see the other girls are still standing there, awestruck.
"There's room enough for all of you, get in quick!"
"Got it!"
Nightshade turns to the CMC and yells,
"COME ON LADIES! INTO THE SADDLEBAGS!!! DON'T QUESTION IT! JUST MOVE! MOVE!! MOVE!!!"
All the girls dash into the Inventory as you see the Hydra finish catching it's breath, and it is mad...
You of course hit one head, but before you could even get the second, the others swatted you away. Landing with a yell and grunt, you tumbled across the field. Ears swerved, but the fillies continued to keep their eyes closed out of fear, all except Nightshade, who appeared to be smiling knowingly, maybe silently cheering you on. "Are you dodging right, Tenant?" Applebloom asked, eyes still covered. "Yes!" you lied as you went back into the fray with 'Falcon Punch' charge. "I'm okay!" You barely heard the questioning voice of Scootaloo, asking if you could actually even fight a hydra. Again, the hydra just simply swatted you away and stepped a giant foot closer. Hearing tumbling again, the farm filly asked with skeptically, "Are you really?" You growled. "Yes!" you roared "Psycho Crusher!" Heads came to intercept you, but you nimbly dodged as you aimed for the space between its legs, which you quickly passed through. One head stubbornly came along with you, maws wide, which you responded abruptly with hooves— caught them with you hooves! The earth strained from under you as the force was absorbed. You couldn't help but chuckle, an action that made the head's eyes widen in surprise. "Hehe. And to think I used to barely survive a dragon," you said, before gripping tighter onto the maw and then jumping explosively into the air, leaving cracks behind! The head dragged along the rest of the body, forcing it into an involuntary front flip that ended with it landing on its back, making a quake, a rumble and crack in the seemingly crust of the Bog that can be heard across the Everfree Forest. You let go— and kicked yourself off of the head, putting more air into it. With the mass of the body conveniently laying flat, you poured as much energy into yourself as you could while still being at the peak of the height, and free-fall'd, hooves out. You know this feeling before, back when you used your own body as a battering ram against the big pink shield back at the wedding. "Falcon Punch!"
"No Shadow Kick! Falcon Punch!" You begin to use all your techniques to kick the heads of the hydra.
Stab the Hydra with a tree while saying "Nail HYDRA!"
You dodge three enraged heads slamming down around you by leaping onto a tree and parkouring your way to the top. The tree is tall enough to be just near the heads (the Hydra's necks are coiled down scanning for you) so you leap from it and yell,
"No Shadow Kick!" and hit one head with a flurry of kicks, but you get swatted away by another head, sending you crashing into the bog and tumbling through the sticks and mud.
Are you dodging right, Tenant? you hear Apple Bloom say in... your head?
"Yes!" you lied as you got up and charged back into the fray with intent to Shoryuken the creature's nards. "I'm okay!"
Are you sure you can even fight a Hydra? Scootaloo says... also in your head?
Before you can answer, the hydra swats you away and steps a giant foot closer. Hearing tumbling again, the farmfilly asked skeptically,
Are you really?
You growled. "Yes I bucking- Wait a minute! I thought I told you guys to stay in the Inventory!" you yell before dodging a trio of heads,
We are. You hear Nightshade say, I taught my friends how to speak directly to you from my room. We can only hear you when we're concentrating on listening and you're talking out loud, not thinking.
Your dad sure has alot of movie reels in here. Sweetie Belle says,
Hey, is that a-
"Nightshade! Keep your friends from wandering!" you shout as you run forward.
Heads came to intercept you, but you nimbly dodged as you aimed for the space between its legs. When you get close enough you declare "Psycho Crusher" and spin between it's legs which you quickly passed through. One head stubbornly came after you, maws wide, which you responded abruptly by catching it's head in your hooves, the earth straining under you as the force was absorbed. You couldn't help but chuckle as the head's eyes widen in surprise.
"Hehe. And to think I used to barely survive a dragon," you say before running around and grabbing the Hydra by wrapping your hooves around the side of it's head before running forward, pulling the head with you.
Pulling the dragon's head through between its legs forces it to do an involuntary front flip that ended with it landing on its back, making a quake which you use to jump into the air and facebuster the head through a tree stump on the ground.
You get back up and see the tree trunk has stabbed through the Hydra head's lower jaw, pinning it in place while the other heads are still dizzy from that flip, causing you to proclaim,
"Nail HYDRA!"
You then jump onto the Hydra's pinned head, run down the neck, and use the belly as a trampoline to bounce yourself into the air. With the mass of the body conveniently laying flat, you aimed at the creature's heart (or at least where you think the rib cage is) at the height of your ascent and cried out,
"FALCON, PUNCH!"
Before plummeting back into the ground at high speed, orange flames covering your body.
You get cocky from the fact that you've defeated a Ursa and held your own against Discord and that cockiness causes the Hydra to smash you several times during the fight.
*CRASH*
Your hoof impacts with the ground creating a crater and kicking up mud and bog debris, but when you get back up you realize something...
You missed the Hydra entirely.
"Oh buck... ACK!"
Taking advantage of your mistake, one of the Hydra heads wraps it's neck around you and starts slamming you wildly around the bog before throwing you away, causing you to smash into a tree. As you wobble back to your hooves you mutter,
"Ugh... This is what those Diamond Dogs must have felt like..."
When you finally get back up, you see the Hydra charging towards you! Thinking quickly, you charge up the RCV, pointing weakly behind the overgrown lizard, and shout,
"LOOK, A DISTRACTION!!!"
Half the heads look one way while the other half tries to go after you, but they end up tripping, giving you time to think of a brave, noble, and heroic tactic...
There's only one thing you can do now You: BUCK THIS NOISE! RUN AWAY! As you heroically flee, it pursues you DFV: If you don't unleash me, this won't end well!!! You: Can it! Running seems to be working DFV: So you will run into town with this monster following? You: Oh crud! You change directions and run deeper into the woods, avoiding gaping maws the whole way. You eventually give it the slip, barely and run inside a cave to hide. As you catch your breath, you realize the place is covered with gem stones and treasure You: Whoah, I've caught the ultimate break here.You start shoving treasure into your inventory, telling the girls to put them in a neat pile DFV: Get out of here now! (panicked) You: Are you crazy? King Ghidorah is still out there. DFV: And there is something as worse in here, who do you think this treasure belongs to? You: I... You realize that the last time you were in a cave full of treasure, you got beaten by...a... A green claw slams down next to you. Dragon: LITTLE THIEF!!!
"BUCK THIS NOISE! RUN AWAY!" you scream before running away, but soon the Hydra regains it's senses and starts chasing after you.
If you don't unleash me, this won't end well!!!
Can it! Running seems to be working!
So you will run into town with this monster following?
...BUCK!!!
You change directions and run deeper into the woods, avoiding gaping maws the whole way, and eventually give it the slip by running inside a cave to hide. As you catch your breath, you look up and see...
That the place is packed with treasure!
"JACKPOT!!! I've caught the ultimate break here!"
You start shoving treasure into your inventory, telling the girls to put them in a neat pile when the DFV says in a panicked tone,
Get out of here, now!
Are you crazy? With all this loot, I can pay off the Doctor at least twice over and still have enough to put Nightshade through college!
You think as you continue to stuff treasure into the Inventory,
Besides, King Ghidorah is still out there!
Who do you think this treasure belongs to?
I...
You realize that the last time you were in a cave full of treasure, you got beaten by... a...
A big red claw slams down next to you,
"LITTLE THIEF!!!"
You back away in fear form the red dragon, when you realize something...
It's right eye is closed shut and looks swollen. You can't help but think,
It can't be... Smaug?!
The dragon then sniffs the air before he points a accusing figure at you and shouts,
"YOU! I REMEMBER YOUR PITIFUL STENCH. YOU ARE THE ONE WHO GAVE ME MY SWOLLEN RIGHT EYE!!!"
You gulp in fear as you think ,
Yep, that's definitely Smaug. The dragon who I No Shadow Kicked in the eye before I Fus Roh Da'ed him into a wall when he tried to kill the Deadly six. He still manged to push me off the mountain, and now I REALLY wish he didn't come back.
You then chuckle nervously as you say,
"Heheheheheh. Smaug buddy, old pal, old friend of mine. I see the eye of yours is still swollen. Yeah sorry about that, now I'll say is... LOOK A DISTRACTION!"
And with that you make a run for it out of the cave with an angry Smaug on your tail...
You curse Lady Luck and run out before he gets you, but he pursues, you enter a clearing and see the Hydra coming towards you as well. Start pleading with your waifu You: OK, I can use your help now! DFV: One Monster maybe we could have dealt with, but this is out of even my league...only something of their size could hurt them DING You: Have I ever told you I love you sometimes? DFV: I...uh...no now that you mention it...I... You run right at the hydra and dive under it's legs as the dragon charges forth and they end up in a dog pile. AND THEN AN EPIC KAIJU BATTLE BEGINS DFV: You...have turned them against one another...very clever my friend You: It's Kaiju 101: The only thing that can beat a giant monster is another giant monster...this is awesome! You bring the girls out to watch AB: Shouldn't we be running? You: Yes...Yes we should...(none of you move) When the Deadly 6 find the scene they think about trying to stop the massive battle. You: The arrogance of Ponies is thinking nature is in their control, and not the other way around...Let them fight! RD: But we do control nature. You: Let them fight! Twilight: And if we let this fight keep rampaging, it could end up leading to Ponyville You: LET THEM FIGHT!!! Pinkie: You just want to see giant monsters fighting don't you? You sigh and put your head down in defeat You: Let them fight...(whimper)
And you see the Hydra coming at you from the bog when you run into a clearing as Smaug is now flying and gaining on you,
"Oh... BUCK YOU LADY LUCK!" you scream as you keep running, your legs on autopilot due to how bad this situation is so you talk to the one thing that could help...
OK, I can use your help now!
One gigantic monster I can deal with, but two is going to be a challenge... Maybe if you had something in their size...
*DING*
Have I ever told you I love you sometimes?
I...uh...no now that you mention it...I...
You run right at the hydra, dodge it's heads, and run under it's legs yelling,
"Pick on someone your own size!"
*WHAM*
Smaug smashes into King Ghidorah (that's what you're calling the Hydra now), tumbling both into a dogpile.
"Like him for example."
When they get untangled, the two behemoths roar at each other before proceeding to engage in an epic kaiju battle.
You... have turned them against one another... very clever my friend.
It's Kaiju 101: The only thing that can beat a giant monster is another giant monster... this is awesome! You think as the Hydra wraps it's necks around the dragon and suplexes it. You bring the girls out to watch.
"Um.. shouldn't we be running?" Apple Bloom says.
"Yes...Yes we should..." Sweetie Belle says.
None of you move as Smaug proceeds to slip behind King Ghidorah, fly into the air, and then piledrive the Hydra into the ground, launching you all a couple yards into the air, but you land on your feet in awe of the kaiju battle in front of you.
"Multi-grain cereal?" you say, taking out the last box from the Inventory and nonchalantly offering it to them with one hoof as you continue to stare in awe. Soon the five of you are watching the battle and even beginning to cheer.
"Come on King Ghidorah! Beat Smaug's butt!" Sweetie Belle cheers.
Scootaloo holds a branch modified to look like a foam figure and counters, "No way Smaug! Burn that jerk like you burned that small fishing town!"
"Kick his multi-headed butt Smaug! Make him wish he had one head!" Apple Bloom cheers
"Smaug! Smaug! Beat him up! Show that lizard who's boss!" Nightshade says in a cheerleader fashion.
"I have no idea who to root for so just KILL EACH OTHER!!!" You shout,
"There you are!"
You're startled by the new voices and turn around to see...
Twilight itching like crazy, Rainbow's new 'horn' feature, and Rarity's new choice in mane color. You roar with laughter and fall over, holding your sides in pain as you continue to laugh. They glare at you for a few minutes, but Twilight suddenly points at the monsters and shouts,
"Sweet Celestia! What is this?"
Bugze gets up and says,
"Oh this? Just a fight between Smau-I mean some dragon I never met before and King Ghidorah. Isn't it awesome!"
The CMC, Nightshade, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and (surprisingly) Rarity nod their heads as Smaug hits King Ghidorah with another stream of fire and they say,
"Yeah..."
"Hey, uh, girls. Isn't that the dragon that was covering Equestria with its snoring before we asked it to leave?" Fluttershy says,
"And isn't that the mean Hydra that tried to eat us?" Pinkie adds.
The mares' eyes widen in shock while Twilight says in shock,
"It is! We need to stop this fight!"
"The arrogance of Ponies is thinking nature is in their control, and not the other way around... Let them fight!" You say cryptically.
Rainbow Dash responds, "But we do control nature. Pegasi schedule the weather-"
"Let them fight!" you interrupt.
Twilight says, "If we let this fight keep rampaging, it could end up leading to Ponyville-"
"LET THEM FIGHT!!!"
"You just want to see giant monsters fighting don't you?" Pinkie asks
You sigh as you put your head down and whimper,
"Let them fight..."
"I don't blame you." Pinkie Pie says as she gets a bucket of popcorn from out of nowhere and starts to munch on it as Smaug lifts the Hydra over its head and throws it. The Hydra slams onto it's belly and it's heads start raining down around you, causing the group to scatter. You see Fluttershy frozen in shock/fear as a hydra head comes at her,
"Fluttershy, look out!" you scream as you grab Fluttershy and tackle her out of the way, twisting yourself so that you take the brunt of the impact with the ground,
"*gasp* Are you okay!" Fluttershy asks in worry as she gets off you while the Hydra gets back up and charges at the dragon with a multi-headed roar.
"I'm fine..." you reassure her, "But Itchy's right, we need to stop that battle!"
When the Deadly 6 insist on stopping the battle, give an annoyed "Fine" and get out two fuse bombs as you walk towards the battling behemoths. Pony: "Wait, what are you doing?" Bugze: "Isn't in obvious? I'm gonna teleport between the two and throw bombs into their mouths to blow up their bucking organs." Pony(s): "WHAT?!" The Deadly 6 are self-righteously appalled at your plan to kill the Hydra and Dragon so you solve the problem with something else
You pull out a pair of fuse bombs from the Potion Sash and walk towards the battling behemoths with a determined stride,
"Wait, what are you doing?" Applejack asks,
"Isn't in obvious? I'm gonna teleport between the two and throw bombs down their throats to blow up their bucking organs."
"WHAT?!" You here the mares and CMC say in shock as Fluttershy suddenly flies in front of you and says,
"While I am grateful to you for saving me, I won't let you lay a single hoof on those sweet innocent creatures! How would you like it if somepony trespassed into your home and started being a bother!"
You hold your hooves up defensively as you say,
"Hey hey don't worry now, these guys are huge! Their organs are super hard and tough. If anything, the explosion will just disorient them long enough for us to tie them up and ship them off to a different country. I was thinking let them be the Griffin's problem you know? They've caused me plenty of that already..."
You grumble the last part to yourself. The ponies seem confused at your 'logic', but Twilight says (while still scratching),
"How about we try something less... explosiony. Okay?"
"Party pooper." you say as you put the fuse bombs back in the potion sash.
Pinkie gasps and says,
"Twilight! How could you!"
Rainbow Dash tries to show off his "New Alicorn Skillz" but ends up looking like a fool when Pinkie identifies her new "horn" as an ice cream cone and eats it
"Stand back everypony, in the name of my new alicorn skillz, I command thee to stop! Hocus Pocus!"
Nothing happens.
"Uh.... nothing happened." You point out.
"Yah sure yah said the spell right Rainbow?" Applejack says.
"Of course I said the spell right! I'm a alicorn now, Whatever I say must be right!" Rainbow Dash says defensively.
"That makes complete sense." Pinkie says.
"Pinkie dear, no it doesn't." Rarity responds.
"Agreed, Alicorns don't need magic words and nopony just becomes one overnight." Twilight adds.
"Come on guys! It's Rainbow Dash! She has to be telling the truth. I mean come on, she's so awesome there's no way shes wrong!" Scootaloo fanfillies
"Thanks Scoots."
Pinkie then sniffs the 'horn', and Rainbow gives her a freaked out look as she asks,
"Uhhh Pinkie, what are you doing?"
Suddenly, Pinkie eats that horn, much to the shock of Rainbow and everypony else,
"HOLY MOTHER OF LUNA! How strong is your jaw girl!?" You exclaim in horror and shock.
"if Rainbow Dash was a real alicorn, that shouldn't be physically possible!" Twilight points out.
Rarity pulls a couch near her with her magic as she faints dramatically.
Rainbow looks at Pinkie in horror as she says, "Pinkie... what the heck did you just do?"
"Yeah, that should've crushed them with a giant rock barrier!" Nightshade says,
"Wait, I thought Aloe borrowed that book?" Twilight says in confusion,
"She did, but I asked if we could borrow it and she said it was okay." Nightshade lies
"I can't believe you tried something as filthy as... 'earth bending'." Rarity scoffs,
"Eh you tried you best... I guess." Rainbow Dash says doubtfully,
"Uh... Shouldn't y'all be thinking of ways to stop those battling varmints before they end up wrecking Ponyville?" Applejack points out.
*ding*
"Ladies, I have a cunning plan..."
If we're going to use that kaiju reference properly, we can't show the monsters fighting for more than ten seconds at a time. We can't risk letting the audience feel excitement or any other troublesome emotions.
ONE AWESOME, CUNNING, WELL-THOUGHT-OUT, MONSTER-STOPPING IDEA LATER
We see that Smaug and King Ghidorah are now tied together with King Gidorah's heads (sadly, you had to use the treasure you "acquired" from Smaug for this plan and even though you managed to keep a ruby, and emerald, and a sapphire, you end up giving them to Apple Bloom, Sweeite Belle, and Scootaloo to bribe them into promising to keep the contents and vast space of your Inventory a secret) as the sun starts to set,
As you, the Deadly Six, Nightshade, and the CMC walk back to Ponyville, an itchy Twilight asks,
"So *itch* girls. Care to explain *itch* why a Hydra was chasing you four though the *itch itch* forest?"
You nod your head as you glare down disappointingly at the fillies and say,
"I agree with itchy mcgee over here, what was such a good idea that you would go into that dumb forest anyway? "If I told you ounce, I've told you a thousand times Nightshade, never go into the Everfree Forest."
Nightshade and the CMC look down in shame as Nightshade says...
After the fight, Nightshade and the CMC explain exactly what happened.
"Well you see, me and the other Cutie Mark Crusaders thought we could get our Cutie mark's in pranking, so we decided to prank my daddy by scaring my daddy in the bog by dressing in our Nightmare Night costumes, but we accidentally disturbed King Ghidorah's sleeping. He started to chase us, but if it weren't for my daddy we would be Ghidorah chow. Right Girls?"
The CMC nod their heads and say,
"Yeah!"
Scootaloo also adds,
"And he was so cool too. He got swallowed three times and still escaped. He was all like 'bam' and 'pow' and it was just soooo coool."
You chuckle and think,
Great, now I have a fanfilliy for BOTH of my personas.
"That's my daddy! He saves ponies, rescues civilizations, defeats terrible creatures and runs a lot. Seriously, there's an outrageous amount of running involved."
You feels a tear of fatherly pride form her sentence and you swear you see Applejack looking at you with a blush. But then Twilight says suspiciously,
"What do you mean that's his job? I thought he was just a patcher?"
You chuckle nervously and say,
"Heheheh about that- Oh look there's town!"
With that you gallop into town ahead of the mares, but when you get there...
When the fight is over, take the fillies home... only to run into an angry mob of "your" prank victims.
You're greeted by a mob of angry-looking mares.
"Oh by the way... We had another reason for coming into the forest..." Twilight says smugly behind you as she continues to scratch.
As all the angry mares glare at you, you can't help but think
You know... I liked it better when I was up against King Ghidorah AND Smaug. At least that would have been a quick death.
What do you do?
Episode 30: This Is All Just A Big Misunde-RUN FOR IT!!
Um... you're in trouble. You don't even know why they're after you.
As Bugzee get out from the forest, he look to the angry mob "Yeah... We forgot that" Say Twilight "Oh great..." Mutter Bugzee
A sweat drop rolls down the side of your head as you stare at the angry mob in confusion as you think,
Okay... apparently I'm in trouble with an angry mob and for once in my life, I have no bucking idea as to what I did to make them so mad. Did I do something bad before I went into the Bog to find Nightshade and the CMC? Did King Ghidorah smack the memory of me doing said bad thing out of my skull when he was beating me to a pulp? You know what, it probably has something to do when I heard all those ponies scream my name in anger before I went after the fillies.
You nod your head at your conclusion, and are about to ask why they're all giving you the stink eye when a pony with a mustache and dressed in a stereotypical chef outfit yells,
The mob voices their grievances; -Olive Grotto owner: Ruined his business (speaks in stereotypical Italian accent) -Applejack: Put pears in her applesauce -Pinkie: Made her think there was candy treasure (relents after it's pointed out she did find a candy treasure, but is angry you pranked Fluttershy) -Rarity: Turned her hair and awful awful green (much to Golden Harvest's annoyance) -Spike: Ordered Nightshade to kick him in the nards -Twilight: Replaced her novel with a pop-up book full of itching powder -Rainbow Dash: Made her look like a doofus by making her think she was an alicorn -Spa Ponies: Scared off customers with that head and stole her book -Filthy Rich: Glued his daughter to a seat -Miss Cheerilee: Put a robot head on her bed -Octavia: Filled her cello with rubber ducks -Vinyl: Is surprisingly okay with the "robot head under turntable" prank so it was a good one, but is upset at you pranking Octavia
"You-a ruined ma restaurant! The health-a inspector shut us down because of your dumb-a dog!"
You stare at the chef as you think in a deadpanned tone,
Wow, ain't that a stereotypical accent... And when did I ever get a pet?
You are about to say something when you hear Applejack say behind you,
"You put no good pears in mah applesauce!"
You blink in confusion, turn, and say to her,
"Look, I hate pears too, but why wold I put them in your app-"
Your interrupted when you hear Pinkie say,
"You made me think that there was candy at the end of that treasure map!"
Rarity taps Pinkie's shoulder and says,
"Pinkie dear, didn't you say that there was some candy at the end of that map?"
Pinkie looks at her blankly before saying in a cheerful tone
"Oh yeah! There was wasn't there!" she giggles, but suddenly glares at you in anger and says, "But I'm still angry at you pranking Fluttershy!"
Your eyes widen in shock as you respond,
"Hey! I may be a prankster, but even I would never-"
"You turned my beautiful gracious mane green! The worst color there is!" Rarity angrily interrupts.
"HEY! WHAT'S WRONG WITH GREEN!" you hear a mare yell from the mob,
And as if her outburst was a spark, a fire of angry voices start to yell at you,
"YOU TOLD NIGHTSHADE TO KICK ME IN THE NARDS!"
"YOU REPLACED MY NOVEL WITH A POP-UP BOOK FILLED WITH ITCHING POWDER *itch*"
"YOU MAD ME LOOK LIKE A COMPLETE IDIOT WITH THAT FAKE ALICORN TRICK!"
"YOU SCARED OFF OUR CUSTOMERS WITH THAT HORRIFYING FOX HEAD AND STOLE OUR EARTHBENDING BOOK! ALOE GOT MUD ALL OVER THE SPA BECAUSE OF THAT!"
"YOU GLUED MY DAUGHTER AND HER FRIEND TO THEIR SEATS AT SUGARCUBE CORNER AND LEFT THEM THERE IN THE DARK!"
"WE'RE STILL STUCK IN HERE, WOULD SOMEPONY PLEASE GET US OUT!"
"WHAT THE HAY ARE YOU DOING HERE YOU IDIOT!!! GO UN-GLUE THEM!!!"
Your second outburst causes Cheerlie and Octavia (who you just notice was in the mob) to yell,
"YOU PUT A HORRIFYING RABBIT HEAD ON MY BED WHILE I WAS ASLEEP! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I'VE FAINTED, ONLY TO FAINT AGAIN AS SOON AS I SEE THAT CREEPY RABBIT HEAD?!"
"YOU STUFFED MY CELLO FULL OF RUBBER DUCKS! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT WILL COST TO HAVE THOSE REMOVED!? SERIOUSLY DO YOU, CAUSE I DON'T THINK THAT'S EVER BEEN DONE BEFORE!!!"
At that point you notice Vinyl in the mob, but she doesn't appear to be paying attention as she's currently examining... an animatronic chicken head?
"HE POISONED OUR WATER SUPPLY, BURNED OUR CROPS, AND DELIVERED A PLAGUE UNTO OUR HOUSES!!!" one stallion randomly yells,
"I/WE/HE DID?!!" you, the CMC, and the crowd all shout/ask in confusion.
"NO... BUT ARE WE GOING TO WAIT AROUND UNTIL HE DOES?!" said random stallion says again.
You gulp and stammer in a fearful tone,
"And... wh... why do you think it's me?"
They then all throw a bunch of flashcards at you (fortunatly, your coat, hat, and scarf protect you from any papercuts) while shouting,
"BECAUSE OF THESE!"
You look at all the flashcards and see that they all say,
"It was me, B.S. Tennant who did this to you. What are you gonna do about it?!" and then has a chibi-you doing the akanbe taunt (a Neighponese insult where you pull down one eyelid while sticking your tongue out) at the person reading the flashcard. You gulp and think,
Not good... I knew making calling cards was a bad idea!
It's true, you had a stamp made so that when you started pranking again, you would have a signature symbol to leave at the prank scene.
I guess that idea is out the window now... uh oh.
You start to shake in fear as the glares form the crowd seem to have intensified form their outbursts. You start to back away in fear as you think,
Besides the fact that I'm really happy at the fact that most of my supposed 'victims' are ponies I don't like. I can't help but feel like if I don't figure out who really did this, I'm gonna end up in alot of pain. Now who could have done all th-
Before you can finish your thought, the angry mob starts to menacingly advance on you and you now notice that the mob is carrying pitch forks, torches, and a bunch of sharp things that will leave marks if used on your body. You gulp in terror as you think,
What am I, Manekenstein's monster!? Do I even look like a pony made from multiple dead ponies? Sure, I look like I'm made from multiple Doctors but- GAH! FOCUS BUG! Buck figuring out who's framing me, I'm getting my meat shield!
And with that thought you...
The angry mob is coming close, at first you think about using the Evil Five as pony shield just like when you get in ponyville. You got in the back of Rarity and get ready to shout that she is your ponyshield that there is most ponyshield but she is your ponyshield when she kick you in the balls. "Auch" Say Bugzee "What? sorry Darling... after that evil changelling attacked the village nearly a year ago, I and other mares did a little of self-defense classes and when you got in my back, I kicked in instinct" Excuse herself Rarity "Okay, that is not going to work" Mutter Bugzee as he look the angry mob that is still coming close You resign yourself to be hit by the mob but they are not still in front of you. If it was not impossible, you could think that the angry mob only advance one centimetre since you get out of the forest.
Leap behind Rarity, grab her, and yell,
"THIS IS-*POW*"
You fall over in a curled-up ball of pain when Rarity reflexively kicks you in the nards.
"Oh, Sorry Darling... after that evil changelling attacked the village nearly a year ago, we took some self-defense classes and when you got behind me, I kicked on reflex." Rarity says,
"Okay... that's not going to work..." You high-pitch mutter in pain as you see that the angry mob that is still closing in. You sigh in pained defeat as you hold your nards in agony and think,
You know what, I've had a long day. I fought a Hydra AND a Dragon, I'm tried, hungry, and really desperate to get some good flicks into my system before I hit the hay, maybe the rest of "Death Notebook". Besides, I'm so tried I'll probably barely feel a thing.
With that thought in mind, you close your eyes and wait for the pain. That is, until you hear someling shout,
"YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR ALL THOSE PRANKS YOU PULLED!"
Your eyes widen a little as you think,
Wait a second... pranks!
You begin to have flashbacks to today's events...
HI, I'M A FLASHBACK!
While you're sitting on the bench, a random pegasus mare with a khaki coat and pink mane suddenly walks up to you, and hoofs you a letter. You give a awkward thanks as the pony leaves before you open the note and it reads, "Dear Daddy, Please meet me in the bog in the Everfree forest Your daughter, Nightshade P.S You might want to leave now, because some ponies are about to have a nasty surprise."
"Well you see, me and the other Cutie Mark Crusaders thought we could get our Cutie mark's in pranking, so we decided to prank my daddy by scaring my daddy in the bog by dressing in our Nightmare Night costumes, but we accidentally disturbed King Ghidorah's sleeping. He started to chase us, but if it weren't for my daddy we would be Ghidorah chow. Right Girls?"
BYE! THE FLASHBACK IS OVER NOW!
When your flashbacks subside, your eyes widen in realization as you think,
That's it! Nightshade and the CMC pranked all these ponies to get their pranking Cutie Marks. Then, Nightshade must have put the blame on me for all of their pranks so she could prank me! Then the whole 'scare in the bog' thing to prank me again! A double prank!
*sniff*
Tears of fatherly and prankster pride run down your face and into your half mask/scarf as you think,
That's my girl. This ingenious prank was perfect! If I was about to be beaten to a pulp I would be parsing her to no end. But, if she did this, then the town will blame her. And I can't let that happen! I'm gonna have to take... the blame!
With that thought, you slowly and painfully get up even as the pain from Rarity's nut shot still lingers. When you finally get up, you hold your hoof out in front of you and shout,
"Ahem... it's true. I did it! I stole Heart's Warm-I mean I pranked you all!"
You hear a random stallion in the crowd shout,
"I knew it! You're the reason why my favorite restaurant is gone for good!"
Really. Did you really just admit to something you didn't do?
To protect my daughter, of course.
...Touche
"Errr... Look! Is Celestia doing break-dance!" You appoint to the right and some of the mob look to the side, but not all. "Great... err... Is that the mare-do-well fighting the hooded offender?" You appoint to the roof of a house and half of the mob that was looking to you look there "Mmm... Err.... Oh no!!! Queen Chrysalis and Nightmare Moon are coming from there" You repeat the process until no one of the mob is looking for you, you are going to escape when you see the Crusaders and the Evil Five with Fluttershy looking around "Where is the Hooded Offender?" Ask Scootaloo looking around "Princess Celestia?" Ask Twilight "Where is that giant cake of thirteen floors?" Ask Pinkie Pie "Spitfire? where?" Ask Rainbow Dash "Where is the Fairy that give Cutie Marks?" Ask Sweetie Belle "Where is the lost Do-Do?" Ask Fluttershy You make a facehoof as you look at that
"Errr... Look! Is Celestia doing break-dance!" you point to the right and some of the mob look to the side, but not all.
"Great... err... Is that the hooded offender fighting a Hydra?" You point to the roof of a house and the half of the mob that was looking to you look there.
"Mmm... Err.... Oh no!!! Queen Chrysalis and Nightmare Moon are coming from there"
You repeat the process until nopony is looking at you. You're going to escape when you see the Crusaders and the Evil Five with Fluttershy looking around as well,
"Where's the Hooded Offender?"
"Princess Celestia?"
"Where is that giant cake of thirteen floors?"
"Spitfire? where?"
"Where is the Fairy that give Cutie Marks?"
"Where is the lost Dodo?"
You roll your eyes at how they all fell for that, it wasn't even your signature "look a distraction" technique. It was just you pointing in random directions while saying random things. Noticing that they're still distracted, you slowly walk backwards towards the CMC and Nightshade as you whisper,
"Okay girls, here's the plan. We're gonna slowly walk away while everypony's distracted. Then we'll hide out in me and Nightshade's shed back at the Apple's farm until things cool down. And when we do get there I'm both going to congratulate you four for a great pranking spree, and then berate you all on blaming others for your mistakes, any questions?"
Scootaloo raises her hoof,
"Yes Scootaloo?"
She put's her hoof down and whisper asks in a nervous chuckle,
"Is there a option where you don't berate us?"
You give her a 'you gotta be kidding me' look as you say,
"No, now let's get out of he-"
"WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?!"
You give out a tiny "meep" as you slowly turn your head back towards the mob and see...
That they aren't distracted anymore and are now glaring at you. Apple Bloom gives a nervous chuckle at the intense glares directed at you and asks,
"Uh... what's plan B Mister Tennant?"
You look over to her and say in a calm voice,
"Well, plan B is to..."
Run as always
you desperately try to convince ponyville not to beat you into hospital but you end up getting chased away
"SPLIT UP AND RUN AWAY!!!" And with that you run one way and the girls run the other way. Unfortunately, the entire mob (which even includes Fluttershy) chases after you and none even split off to chase the girls. This also starts to play, and you can't help but find it fitting considering on what's happening.
Eventually you end up in the middle of all the alleyways with no sign of the mob. You begin sigh in relief, but then mob members pop out from all of the alleys at once! You sit their blinking blankly before you scream and make a run for it.
SOMETIME LATER
After a long chase you get cornered in the boutique,but then you get THE idea! You charge up your teleport,but then Twilight uses her anti-magic spell of doom and you barely dodge it,causing it to reflect from a mirror and hitting Twilight,then you teleport away,right in the middle of another angry horde
You eventually hide out in Rarity's Boutique. You look out the window to see the mob scattered and looking around, before running off away from the Boutique. You give a sigh of relief and say,
"Welp, it looks like I'm in the-"
Suddenly, the Boutique door bursts open and an itchy Twilight walks though with some of the mob members.
"I have you now you prankster!" she declares as she itches some more.
"Yeahs wes gots yous now!"
"Nowhere to run now!"
You back up into a corner as you begin to think,
Oh... This is the end! If I survive this, Nightshade is SO grounded! Waitaminute, I'm a changeling. duh!
You smirk as you begin to charge up your teleport spell and say to Twilight,
"Nice try Twilight, but I have teleportation on my side! Allons-y!"
Just as you're about to teleport, Twilight shoots a magical blast at you. You look at it strangely before you remember,
And you do just that as you dive out of the way, the magical blast bouncing off a gem-encrusted costume behind you and zapping Twilight instead. You smirk in victory and think,
Ha! Now you know how I feel whenever you blast me with that stup- uh oh.
Your victory is short lived as the mob charges at you. You give a meep as you shout,
"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!"
And with that you teleport...
Right above the other group of the angry mob. You look down at the mob mutter in dread,
"Oh buck you lady luck..."
You fall into the group, and the next thing you know...
You get grabbed and dragged for town square. The entire town starts to... sing? Marking spoilers so I won't ruin the song... Nightshade and the CMC chase after you, shouting how they were the ones to prank every pony. The singing and dancing drown out their cries, and Big Red drags you up to the gallows. Vinyl Scratch is waiting there, and she gags you before your screams for mercy grow any more tiresome. She lifts her sunglasses and winks at you before she steps aside. Madame Mayor pronounces her judgement with great glee, and sentences you to hang by the neck until you are dead. Twilight Sparkle throws the lever, and you drop. The rope breaks, and you fall into a kiddie pool filled with whipped cream. The whole town laughs at you and disperses.
The DFV implores you to unleash her and you keep refusing. You're about to give in and unleash the Nightmare Cloak on the ponies when the prank reveals itself.
Hang the bastard, hang him high. Hoist his body to the sky. It's as nice as a day can be. Won't you come to the hanging with me?
"Put me down! Are you all nuts! Think about what you all are doing!" you protest as you're dragged towards town hall.
Hang the bastard, hang him tallest. Send his sorry soul to Tartarus. When his neckbone snaps we'll know. When the prankster won't be pranking anymore.
The CMC arrive and are horrifed by the scene,
"What the buck are they doing with my daddy?!" Nightshade yells.
"Are you all mad! Stop it! Stop you're gonna kill him!" Scootaloo protests.
"It was all our idea, it wasn't Mister Tennant! Put him down! Rarity what has gotten into you!?" Sweetie Belle cries.
"What is wrong with ya'll?! Put him down! It was us, we did it!" Apple Bloom says.
Unfortunately, their cries are drowned out by the singing and the spectacle continues with the flower trio singing,
His face will turn red, Then purple, then blue. We'll watch from up here To get a good view. And when his eyes bug out we'll know, It's the end of him And the end of the show!
To your horror, you see that the mob is dragging you to the gallows!
Release me now you fool, before I become your only dead friend!
No!
Okay the- WHAT THE BUCK DO YOU MEAN "NO!"
If I release you, you'll kill everypony!
You would rather let them kill you?! The DFV asks as the song continues,
So hang the bastard, hang him with cheer. We'll make some carrot dogs And drink a few beers. And when his tongue rolls out we'll know, It's the end of the show And we all can go home!
Big Red and another hugely muscled white Pegasus drag you up to the gallows where Vinyl Scratch gags you before your screams for mercy grow any more tiresome. She lifts her sunglasses and winks at you before she steps aside.
"Put my Daddy down! Stop, stop, stop! I did, it was me! I pranked you all, PUT MY DADDY DOWN AND TAKE ME INSTEAD!"
But not till we hang the bastard, hang him here. The most exciting thing this town has seen in years. When his body stops jerking we'll know, It's the end of him, it's the end of him, It's the end of him, And the end of the show.
Madame Mayor walks up to the gallows and gleefully announces to the mob,
"Baker Sylvester Tennant, for your crimes against the citizens of Ponyville, you are sentenced to hang by the neck until you're dead! Twilight, pull the switch!!"
Twilight smirks and as her unicorn magic envelopes the lever, time seems to slow down for you and the CMC.
"YOU'VE ALL GONE CRAZY! I'LL NEVER FORGIVE ANY OF YOU, YOU HEAR ME!" Apple Bloom screams, her face mixed with anger and sadness.
"Why! Why are you doing this! It was just a few pranks! They didn't hurt anypony! He didn't even do the pranks! IT WAS US OKAY!" Scootaloo cries.
"No, this wasn't supposed to happen. It was just a few pranks. We should be up there. Look at what you've all doing! YOU KILLED HIM YOU MANIACS!" Sweetie Belle cries.
"DADDDDDDDDDDDY!!!"
RELEASE ME NOW YOU FOOL! PLEASE, I'M BEGGING YOU!!! RELEASE ME BEFORE THEY COME AFTER NIGHTSHADE NEXT!!! RELEASE BEFORE YOU DIE!!!
...
...Okay
*snap* *creak* *splat*
Your eyes glowed orange as the lever was pulled and the doors opened under you, but the noose wasn't tied to the pole and you fell straight down into a kiddie pool full of whipped cream.
Everypony starts laughing uproariously as the CMC stand frozen in shock as you surface from the whipped cream and untie your hooves from the scarf. When you breath in sweet sweet fresh air, you look up to see the "angry" mob leaving. As you wipe off some the whip cream on your scarf and the rest of your outfit, you mutter in disgust,
"Great, not only is my awesome Doctor's outfit covered in Hydra puke and saliva, now it's covered in whipped cream too. I really hope I can wash all this out..."
As you begin walking away form the pool of whipped cream, you spot the CMC and Nightshade sneaking away. You scowl and think,
Oh no you don't. You're not out of this mess yet...
And with that thought you shout,
"WAIT A BUCKING MINUTE!"
The mob stop walking away and look at you in confusion (and a few in shock at your profanity) as you walk towards the CMC and Nightshade. They chuckle nervously as you glare at them and say,
"Girls, you've got some 'splaining to do!"
They gulp in nervousness and you see that all the prank victims are surrounding them and you. You make a 'go on' gesture with your hoof causing Nightshade to sigh and say,
Hear how and why she pranked everypony, get horrified and ashamed at Nightshade pranking sweet fragile Fluttershy ("I thought you said you liked her?!") when Nightshade counters FS murdered a bear. You start to agree with her until Twilight clears up that that was a massage.
When the "nosebleeding" is brought up, get flustered and claim that you'll explain it to her "when you're older".
"As we we're trying to say during the whole hanging prank, we did it."
The crowd gasps as Twilight asks you,
"But Mister Tennant, if they pulled all those pranks, why did you still claim you did it?"
"Let's see, an angry mob wants to lynch the prankster and it turns out a foal is the prankster, WHAT THE BUCK DO YOU THINK ANY GOOD DAD WOULD DO?!!!" you snark/yell.
Twilight an the crowd wince at that.
"But, why in tarnation did you y'all pull all those pranks?" Applejack asks the fillies.
"Well, mainly to get pranking cutie marks, but also to get payback for Mistah Tennant." Apple Bloom answers.
"Huh?" everypony (even you) except the fillies said,
"Nightshade had a list of ponies who had been mean to Mister Tennant on way or another." Sweetie Belle says.
"Apparently you all did something mean to Mister Tennant." Scootaloo says while pointing at the Deadly Six (excluding Fluttershy).
"Yeah, and the Olive Grotto ponies banned us for life even though their sign clearly said 'all you can eat on it'." Nightshade says.
"And Ms. Cheerilee threw a mug at Mister Tennant's head during Cider Season." Apple Bloom adds.
"And we pranked Diamond Tiara and Sliver Spoon because... well in all fairness we just don't like them." Sweetie Belle says getting nods of agreement from Nightshade, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo.
"And Fluttershy... killed a bear apparently?" Scootaloo says doubtfully.
"What!?" The crowd says in shock as they turn their heads towards Flutteshy.
"But I would never ever ever hurt any innocent creature. Not even a little fly!"
"But I saw you snap a bear's neck like it was a toothpick back when Twilight casted that voodoo magic on that doll." you point out. "Didn't you see it too?" you ask Twilight. Everypony turns to Twilight (who's blushing form embarrassment at remembering the incident) who answers,
"Ugh... don't remind me. Anyway, she didn't kill that bear, that was a massage."
"THAT WAS JUST A MASSAGE!" you and Nightshade yell is disbelief.
"Y..yes it was. Harry has sore muscles all the time. So it takes intense massages to help release all the stress."
You stare at Fluttershy and say, "Uh... remind me never to get on your bad side. If that's what your hoof massages are like, I'd hate to see your hot stones technique."
"Anyway." Nightshade continues, "And the only reason we pranked DJ Palm Tree, Miss Octavia, and the spa twins was because they kept giving daddy nosebleeds."
Your eyes widen in horror and you start to blush like mad as Vinyl and Aloe chuckle knowingly and Octavia asks,
"What do you mean we gave Mister Tennant nosebleeds?"
Nightshade looks at her and starts to say,
"Well, whenever he talks about you guys his nose wou-mmmphf mmmmphf?"
The mob looks at you weirdly as you cover Nightshade's mouth before she could continue. You chuckle nervously and say,
"What she means is that my nose tends to bleed often due to it... uh... forming wrong... yeah that's it! My nose formed wrong while I was growing up so it tends to bleed from time to time. It just so happened to do that when I told Nightshade about meeting you nice folks."
The mob seems to barely accept your explanation as you whisper to Nightshade,
"Honey, I'll tell you when your older why my nosebleeds okay?"
She nods her head as you say,
Make Nightshade apologize to Fluttershy, Octavia, Vinyl, and the Spa Ponies (and ONLY those ponies) before claiming "Welp, I guess that's everypony" and that you're tired cause of the Hydra and take Nightshade home before she apologizes to anypony else (much to the annoyance of the mob members who weren't apologized to)
Vinyl wants to know if she can keep all the animatronic heads since they are machines and would make a wicked sound system. Everypony and you just say sure and Vinyl walks off with four creepy as tartarus animal heads. Also, Pinkie and Dash congratulate Night Shade on being a master prankster at such an early age.
"Well, now that they'e explained their reasons, I want everypony to line up so that they can say sorry to all of you."
The Mob does as you say and gets in a line, conveniently having the Spa Ponies, Spike, Vinyl, Octavia, Applejack, and Fluttershy in the front of the line. As you lead the CMC and Nightshade down the line and they apologize to the spa twins you think,
You know, originally I was just gonna have them say sorry to only these six, but since Applejack might be my cousin I might as well have them apologize to her as well. Besides, she's still my landlord.
After they finish apologizing to the spa twins (with Aloe giving you a flirty wink that makes you blush under your scarf and mask) you reach Spike.
"I'm sorry for kicking you in the balls Spike." Nightshade says,
Spike winces at the memory as he says, "No problem, I just wish I knew why your dad asked you to do that. I thought we were pretty good friends."
"Oh Spike, we're great friends. I didn't tell Nightshade to kick you in the nards specifically, it's for any and allcolts who hit on my daughter."
This gets a few awww's from nearby mares as Flutteshy asks,
"Um... Isn't that a little extreme?"
"I'm very protective of my daughter. She's my pride and joy and all the family I got since my Grandpony disappeared. So I make my mission to make sure that she is safe at all times, even from Hydras and angry mobs."
Que more awww's form mares as well as some sad looks for your grandbuggy, but you notice Twilight looking at you with... a glint that says "I wanna know more".
When they apologize to Vinyl she takes it surprisingly well,
"No worries little dudes, I liked the prank. I was just upset that you pranked Octy is all." Octavia smiles at Vinyl as she continues, "Hey, mind if I take those heads? They could make for a wicked stereo system for Nightmare Night."
"Sure." you and the CMC shrug as Vinyl happily uses her unicorn telekinesis to carry all four heads back home causing Octavia to roll her eyes at her when the five of you reach her. After the apology, she gives you a comforting hug as she says,
"Don't worry Baker. I'm sure your Grandpony will pop up someday."
Painful flashbacks to your Grandbuggy's exile hit you and you give a sad smile as you say,
"I hope he will..."
Octavia ends the hug and says,
"Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go make sure Vinyl doesn't put any of those heads in my room." before trotting off.
After apologizing to Applejack (who says she'll talk with Big Red and Granny Smith about how they'll ground Apple Bloom), the five of you reach Fluttershy,
"I'm really really sorry for pranking you Miss Fluttershy. I do like you and the only reason I ever even thought about that prank was because I thought you murdered a bear."
"And I'm really sorry for thinking you killed that bear. I should've just asked you instead of jumping to conclusions." you apologize to her as well.
"Oh, it's okay. You were just confused. As long as you learned your lesson, then everything should be okay."
You spot Spike writing something out of the corner of your eye as Twilight tells him something. You hear the words "Mister Tennant" and "lesson in friendship", but you're snapped out of it when Nightshade says,
"You know, you would make a good mommy Miss Fluttershy."
You and Fluttershy blush in embarrassment and start to stammer at her comment. You hear mares giggling so you decide to move it along by saying,
"Okay, Nightshade that's enough. I think that's everypony so lets go home."
This is greeted by upset protests by the crowd as you hear Miss Cherrilee say,
"What about the rest of us?!"
*snap* Remembering their prank, you roar,
"OI, YOU LOT DON'T GET AN APOLOGY! I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA SWING FOR SOMETHING I DIDN'T BUCKING DO AND WHY DID YOU THINK I DID IT?! CALLING CARDS!!! YOU THINK ANY PRANKSTER WORTH A BUCK WOULD BE DUMB ENOUGH TO LEAVE BEHIND EVIDENCE INCRIMINATING HIMSELF (too be fair, I am that dumb, but still...) THE ONLY REASON THE OTHERS GOT THEM WASssss... WELL FOR REASONS! YOU LOT CAN GO AND SIT IN THE CORNER BECAUSE YOU AIN'T GONNA GET NO APOLOGY FROM ME TILL YOU ALL SAY SORRY FOR MAKING ME THINK I WAS ABOUT! TO! HANG!!! GOOD NIGHT, YOU CONCLUSION-JUMPING DUMBFLANKS!!!"
You and Nightshade turn away from the stunned crowd and walk home as you think,
Although while that was pants-wettingly terrifying and they were THIS close to being victims of a Dark voiced influence Massacre, it was still a pretty good prank.
You and Nightshade walk in silence back to Sweet Apple Acres, but when you're past the gate, you sigh, look at Nightshade and say...
Ground Nightshade with either: -She has to turn in any and all Nightmare Night candy she acquires -No dessert for a week -Or make her choose between the above
"Now Nightshade, honey, I'm not upset at the pranking (hay, I used to prank my bullies all the time and you're pretty good at it), however I'm very upset at how you stupidly put yourself in danger. Even worse, you put your friends in danger! If I wasn't there cause of your note, who knows what would've happened. So as much as it pains me to do this, I'm going to have to ground you."
"WHAT?!"
"But I'm gonna give you a choice, either you donate all your candy from Nightmare Night to some charity nearby or you can go without dessert for a week."
"I have to choose!? That's not fair!!!" Nightshade whines,
You chuckle as you say, "As your great Grandbuggy would always say, 'Life ain't fair kid, now you can either be locked in a room playing Justin Beatbox non-stop or you can help me move these highly radioactive leaky barrels out back. Your call. Oh and we ran out of hazmat suits last week, so...' Oh, and you have till morning so if you don't choose by then, I'm choosing both options for you young lady."
"Buck..."
After the air has cleared up and it is later in the evening when Night Shade has gone to bed, there is still something that's been bugging you since earlier. In fact, you realize it's been bugging you for a long time, but today was too much. You decide to set the ground rules firmly for the mother of your child. You: Hey! Wake Up! DFV: I was not asleep my friend I was... You: SHUT UP! DFV: Excuse me? You: You heard me. DFV: One such as you does not speak... You: I said shut your psychotic pie hole! DFV: ...Why are you upset with me? You: Oh I don't know, how about the whole "Let me kill three little foals idea" you had earlier. DFV: I thought you wished to keep your anonymity, I was merely suggesting that You: I SAID SHUT UP!!! (using RCV in your mind) DFV: ... You: I know you've had your moments in the past, but that was just too far. I Will NEVER Kill Someling! Especially not a child! Get that through your thick skull! DFV: ... You: I'd hoped that you had mellowed out, especially after you started openly caring for our Daughter, but you haven't changed one bit. DFV: ... You: And since you won't change through compassion, I'll change you with your own game. Threats and Violence DFV: What? You: If you ever take control of me and kill someling, then I'm ending this. DFV: Ending what? You: This...relationship you and I have. I will end it. DFV: How? You pick up a knife you had taken from the Apple's kitchen, and the DFV becomes panicked DFV: NO! NO! You can't do that! You: I can and I will...if you kill DFV: We both would die! Everything we have done would be for naught! You: That’s what I’m counting on. I know you’re not just some ordinary voice in my head, I don’t know what you are, but if I go, so do you. DFV: I would stop you! You: This is still my body, I’ve taken it back before, and I will again if you force me to. DFV: You would seriously end yourself just to take me out? I who helped you survive countless times? You: Yes, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself anyway if I killed someling innocent. DFV: Bu-but think about our daughter! Who would protect her? Who would raise her? You’d leave her without us! You: (You Imagine a sad Night Shade, all alone, crying over you and it hurts your heart to think about, but you have to get your point across) The 6 would care for her. They hate me, not her (You remember Twilight’s care for her well being when everyone else was discorded, Fluttershy’s care for her animals, and even AJ and her care for Applebloom). That rainbow weapon of theirs would stop even Luna if she tried anything DFV: Bu-But… You: Look, it’s very simple. You Kill, We Die. DFV: Yo-you’re serious… You: you know I am, now promise me you won’t kill an innocent DFV: … You: Promise Me! DFV: Okay! I promise I won’t kill, or even suggest it, There, are you happy? (strained voice) You: And why won’t you? DFV: You know why! You: Say it. DFV: (sigh) because if I kill…we die… You: And don’t you forget it. You then hear whimpering and sobbing within your head, a slight bit of guilt courses through you, but You shrug it off. Let her cry, maybe then she’ll learn something. Some people need tough love whether they want it or not. You briefly wonder if you can even go through with your threat if the time ever came, you are just copying what Krieg from Borderlands did, but could you actually do it? You hope you never have to find out.
When you arrive back at the shed, you use up the last of the jar of bath soak to bathe Nightshade, you, and then your Doctor clothes.
2 Jars of 'Goops for Stuff: Milk and Honey Bath Soak' remaining
After making Nightshade go to bed (she complained she wasn't tired, but you insisted it was part of her punishment), you hung your clothes out to dry inside the shed and you started to set up the projector to watch the remaining Death Notebook episodes when you remember that there's still something that's been bugging you since earlier. In fact, you realize it's been bugging you for a long time, but today was the final hay. You decide to set the ground rules firmly for the "mother" of your child.
Hey! Wake Up!
I was not asleep my friend I was...
SHUT UP!
Excuse me?
You heard me...
One such as you does not speak...
I said shut your psychotic pie hole!
...Why are you upset with me?
Oh I don't know, how about the whole "Let me kill three little foals idea" you had earlier? you angrily mentally snark.
I thought you wished to keep your anonymity, I was merely suggesting that-
I SAID SHUT THE BUCK UP!!! you mentally roar, using the RCV in your mind.
...
I know you've had your moments in the past, but that was just too far. I Will NEVER Kill Someling! Especially not a foal! Get that through your thick skull!
...
I'd hoped that you had mellowed out, especially after you started openly caring for our Daughter, but you haven't changed one bit!
...
And you know the worst part? The worst part is that I almost unleashed you on the town. Any sooner and you would've massacred the whole town over a bucking prank!
...
And since you won't change through compassion, I'll change you with your own game. Threats and Violence.
What? the DFV asks in subdued shock.
If you ever take control of me and kill someling, then I'm ending this.
Ending what? the DFV says in more worried shock.
This... arrangement you and I have. I will end it.
How?
You pick up a knife you had borrowed from the Apple's kitchen and point it at your throat, causing the DFV to become panicked,
No! NO! NO!!! You can't do that!
I can and I will... if you kill.
We both would die! Everything we have done would be for naught!
That’s what I’m counting on. I know you’re not just some ordinary voice in my head, I don’t know exactly what you are, but what I do know is that you're stuck in here so if I go, so do you.
I would stop you!
This is still my body, I’ve taken it back before, and I will again if you force me to.
You would seriously end yourself just to take me out? I who helped you survive countless times? I who granted you immense power when you were just a petty insect?!
Yes, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself anyway if I killed someling innocent. you think with steely resolve.
Bu-but think about our daughter! Who would protect her? Who would raise her? You’d leave her alone in this world!
You Imagine Nightshade, all alone, crying over you and it hurts your heart to think about, but you have to get your point across,
The 6 would care for her. They hate me, not her...
You remember Twilight’s care for her well being when everyone else was discorded, Fluttershy’s care for her animals and how well she got along with her, and even AJ and her care for Applebloom,
That rainbow weapon of theirs would stop even Celestia if she tried anything.
Bu-But…
Look, it’s very simple. You Kill...
You press the blade against your throat just tightly enough to draw a tiny drop of blood to emphasize your point.
We Die.
Yo-you’re serious…the DFV says in a scared tone.
You're in my head. You know I am. Now promise me you won’t kill an innocent.
…
"Promise Me!" you say out loud, tightening the grip on the knife.
Okay! I promise I won’t kill, or even suggest it, There, are you happy? She says in a strained voice.
And why won’t you?
You know why!
Say it.
You hear the DFV sigh and say,
Because if I kill… we die…
And don’t you forget it. You mentally growl as you put the knife away.
You then hear whimpering and sobbing within your head, causing a slight bit of guilt courses through you, but You shrug it off.
Let her cry, maybe then she’ll learn something. Some people need tough love whether they want it or not.
Doubt suddenly enters your thoughts as you think,
But if the time ever came, could I actually go through with it?
You shake your head free of the thought and think,
Enough of those kinds of thoughts! It's an issue I'll deal with when the time comes.
You start the projector, lay down on the cot, wrap yourself in the blanket and think,
Welp, today's been a long day. Got swallowed by a Hydra 3 times, saw a Hydra and Smaug duke it out, almost got killed by an angry mob, told off the evil voice in my head, I'm watching a marathon about a bored genius with a killer notebook and a OTT way of writing, and tomorrow's Nightmare Night... this should be fun!
And with that... you fell asleep watching the rest of Death Notebook.
THE NEXT DAY-ER AFTERNOON
You wake up with a yawn as you look around your room.
Same as I left it last night, and it looks like Nightshade went out to play with her friends.
You look out the window and see that it's past noon. You chuckle and think,
"Heh heh, I must have overslept." you chuckle before you realize something,
*crack* "I OVERSLEPT!!!"
You jump out of bed, but you see your clothes hanging around and you look at your bare changeling form.
"Buck... My clothes aren't dry yet and I'm not wearing anything!"
Thinking quickly you take out your Subject Delta costume that you brought a week ago. As you put on the mask, you decide to test out the voice changer,
Have a little trouble walking at first due to the cumbersome costume.
Might want to retrieve your clothes, but seeing as how it's Nightmare Night, you should be able to walk around in your costume without a problem. In fact, it might be a better idea than using your normal disguise. And by better idea, I mean you can walk up and scare unsuspecting ponies for a jolly good laugh. But before you start having too much fun, find Nightshade and her friends to see how they're doing.
You decide that the first thing you should do is grab your "Doctor's Outfit". You are about to go get it when you realize something,
Wait... My clothes are still damp so it's best if I just let them dry for now. In fact, I should go looking for the girls, they could use some help with their costumes if they don't have them on already.
And with that thought you move towards the door to leave your shack...
*scraaaaatch*
and only move an inch.
You struggle to move faster, but apparently the Subject Delta armor is real... or at the very really heavy. You grunt in frustration as you move only a few more inchs and you keep hearing a strange scratching sound as you move. You sigh in defeat as you think,
Why is this thing so bucking heavy?! And what is with that weird scratching noise whenever I try to move? The shopmare at the store never said anything about this being so stinking heavy! Maybe I should just take it of-huh?
You see in the corner of your eye some text screwed onto the inside of your mask. You barley lift your right hoof to take off your mask to read it,
WARNING! This costume of the Bioshock 2 character, Subject Delta, is a prototype that comes with a fully functioning drill hoof. If you have any problems, please look at the list below.
You look at the warning label in shock, and then you quickly look at what you thought was a fake drill hoof as you think,
Holy Luna... this drill is real! Why did noling bother to tell me that when I bought this thing! I would have liked to know that my hoof was attached to a REAL SPINNING DRILL OF DEATH!
You sigh in annoyance as you look at the list of problems/solutions that warning mentioned. As you read down the list, saying them out loud as you do,
"Your mask is stuck on your head... How does that work? You are experiencing flash burns in your lower regions... ew. You have the sudden urge to kill everypony within your area if somepony threatens a filly you're protecting... Yeah, but that's normal for me. You gain the sudden urge to walk around moaning... Only on Mondays. What else is there... blah blah blah, needle addiction no, no, no... not responsible for any drill-related maiming- Ah ha! Hear it is!"
You smile in success at finally identifying your problem as you proceed to read it aloud,
"if you are having trouble moving and are hearing a strange scratching noise. Your problem is that your drill is not on and is in lockdown mode. This causes the drill to become non-responsive and super-heavy. Trying to move when it is in this mode will cause the drill to be drag across the floor, causing the scratching noise. To fix this, simply say the words "Would you kindly activate drill" which will cause the lock down mode will deactivate and you will be able to move again. Huh... that's it?"
You try (and fail) to shrug your shoulders as you clear you throat before saying,
"Would you kindly activate drill."
Suddenly your left hoof swings up and smacks you in the head with the drill, the force knocking you onto your back. You moan in pain as the mask (which was flung into the air) smacks into your stomach which would have hurt if the costume wasn't armored.
You groan as you slowly get back up, putting your mask back on. You look at your now much lighter drill hoof as you say,
"Huh... How do you turn on the drill? And wasn't 'would you kindly' th-"*VERRRRRRRRRR* "AHHHHHHHHH!"
You scream in shock as your drill hoof suddenly springs to life, causing you to wave your hoof around in a panic, drilling and smashing objects all around you. You finally manage to get control of your hoof... by accidentally getting it stuck in the ground. You can still hear it drilling a hole into your floor as you yell,
"Gah! Would someling kindly tell me how to turn this bucking thing of-?"
Suddenly your drill hoof slows to a stop. You stare at your hoof (still embedded into the ground) in amazement. You then spot another instruction on the inside of the helmet.
Most of the suit's functions are activated and deactivated by the phrase, "Would you kindly" or most varaitions on that phrase.
"Woah... the suit responds to 'Would you kindly'? Whoever designed this thing gets points for accuracy. Now on to more important matters, like getting my hoof unstuck."
You grab your hoof drill with your other hoof as you try to pull it out. You feel it begin to loosen, and after one final pull you manage to pull it out. You take up a victory pose and proclaim,
"YES!"
and are about to walk out to look for the fillies, when you notice something....
Your shack is full of drill holes and smashed objects.
Your victory stance falters as you say in dread,
"Oh no... Applejack is gonna kill me!"
Thinking quickly you grab all of your patching supplies out of the Inventory as you say,
"I better patch all this up before she finds out."
A FEW HOURS OF PATCHING LATER
You walk out of your shed in your costume with a sigh and say,
"Luna that took forever, good thing I had all that extra wood from those dead apple trees during Nightshade's first day of school or I'd never been able to patch all those holes. Anyway, enough self-exposition! Time to look for the girls."
With that you begin to...
You walk around Sweet Apple Acres, no one seems to be there, and as you walk you begin to think about what you talked last night with Nightmare Moon. You remember the first time you meet both Princesses, how they wanted to kill Nightshade only because they think she was Nightmare Moon, Zecora and Fluttershy could not help if something happen to you. You enter in the house but you can't find anypony, you think that maybe they are busy and you decide to search them when you see some scrolls and ink in the table, at first you ignore it but after thinking another time about your talk you take one scroll and begin to write, to be prepared if something happen so that Nightshade is not alone. To Whoever find this. If you find this and im around here anymore, know that I only have a single wish. Take care of Nightshade, my daughter, I don't know who could find it, if maybe a member of the horde, a Alicorn Princess, a member of the Evil Five or somepony else. I hope you find in your heart enough love to not punish Nightshade for being a dark Alicorn. She is not Nightmare Moon, only a filly that have friends, even if somepony could hate me for being the hooded offender or a changelling, she is innocent and because of that, I only want that she is happy Signed: B.S. Tennant The hodded Offender Bugzee You look the scroll and save it in the inventory to hide it later, you don't want to leave it to the chance, so if something happen to you, at least Nightshade is safe
Walk around Sweet Apple Acres. After a few minutes, you begin to think about what you talked about last night with the DFV. You remember the first time you met both Princesses, how they wanted to kill Nightshade just because they think she's Nightmare Moon.
You enter the house, but you can't find anypony. You think that maybe they're busy and are about to exit when you see some scrolls and ink in the table, at first you ignore it but after thinking another time about your talk you pick up a pen and a scroll and begin to write,
To whoever finds this,
I don't know who's reading this note right now. It could be a member of the horde, a Alicorn Princess, a member of the Evil Five, or somepony else. Regardless of who this is, if you're reading this note, it can only mean that I'm not around here anymore, so know that I only have a single wish; Take care of Nightshade, my daughter.
I hope you find in your heart enough love not to punish Nightshade for something she's not. She is not Nightmare Moon, only a filly recently brought into the world. Even if somepony could hate me for being the hooded offender or a changeling, she is innocent and because of that, I only want that she is happy,
Signed:
Baker Sylvester Tennant a.k.a. The Hooded Offender a.k.a Bugze
Not wanting to leave anything to chance, you put the note into the Inventory to hide later so that if something happens to you, at least Nightshade is safe.
"Will Scroll" added to Inventory
And with that, you exit the building.
A FEW MINUTES LATER
You still can't find them so you go to the one place you didn't check yet, the barn. You begin to think on your way there,
If they're not at the Apples' place, then they're probably out in town. Hopefully they haven't gone too far into town yet, it would take forever to find them then...
You eventually find Nightshade and the CMC in the barn, putting the finishing touches on their costumes (and making a huge mess of the barn with all their makeup and costume supplies). You could just walk up and say hi, but it seems a good time to try out your voice changer (and a perfect chance to prank them back for yesterday). You sneak around the side and enter as silently as you can with your giant armored form before letting out a loud moan right behind the four of them. They of course get startled at the noise and seeing your hulking new form, but then Nightshade takes action. She runs behind a bale of hay and Falcon Kicks in into you, toppling you onto your side, from which you have a hard time getting up. Bugzy: "Man, watching those horror movies and planning how to survive them were really effective." *fatherly pride at this* "It's okay girls, it's just me."*turned off voice modifier* Nightshade: "Oh, sorry daddy. We thought you were real." Scootaloo: "But that was awesome! Did you see her kick that hay bale; she was all 'Falcon Kick!' and it was all 'wham!' and then Mister Tennent was all 'ahh I'm falling over in dramatic fashion'." So after they help you back up (no easy task) they tell you about their plans to go trick-or-treating with their friends from school. Applebloom also tells you that her sister Applejack is setting up some festivities in town, and that she'd probably appreciate some help. You tell her you'll consider it (though it's low on your list of priorities, after loading up on sugery sweets, rapidly consuming said sweets, and scaring ponies you don't especially like). And with that you wish them luck tonight, tell them to be safe and have fun, and head into town.
You walk into the barn and see Nightshade and the CMC putting the finishing touches on their costumes (and making a huge mess of the barn with all their makeup and costume supplies). You're about to walk up to them when you get an idea,
Hmmm... it IS Nightmare Night, I need to test my voice changer, and I don't think I'll get a better opportunity for payback...
You sneak around the side and enter as silently as you can with your giant armored form before jumping out and letting out a loud moan right behind the four of them.
Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo freeze in fear and scream in terror,
"FALCON, KICK!"
But Nightshade takes action by dashing behind a bale of hay and Falcon kicking it into you. The bale slams into your side and knocks you over and while on the ground you think in fatherly pride,
Aww... My baby learned not to just freeze in fear when confronted with a monster...
As you get back up, you see Nightshade readying another Falcon Kick so you quickly turn off the voice modifier and reassure the fillies,
"Hey, hey, hey, It's okay girls, it's just me."
The CMC sigh in relief and Nightshade says,
"Oh, sorry daddy. We thought you were real."
"But that was awesome! Did you see her kick that hay bale; she was all 'Falcon Kick!' and it was all 'wham!' and then Mister Tennant was all 'ahh I'm falling over in dramatic fashion'." Scootaloo excitedly says,
They tell you about their plans to go trick-or-treating with their friends from school. Apple Bloom also tells you that her sister Applejack is setting up some festivities in town, and that she'd probably appreciate some help.
"I'll put it on my priority list." you tell Apple Bloom as you think,
Right bellow "loading up on sugary sweets", "devouring said sweets", "scaring ponies I don't like", and "keeping an eye out for the Headless Horse"
"Well, good luck girls. Be safe, have fun, and if any colts hit on you-"
"Kick em in the nards?" Scootaloo responds,
"Exactly."
And with that, you head into town...
You wander through town in you Subject Delta costume, and get a lot of compliments, but you keep them guessing to who you are, wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise. Plus with it on, you are at eye level with Big Red, making everyone else look small in your view. You: Being tall is awesome! Maybe if I had listened to Grandbuggy then I wouldn’t be as small as a mare, but then again… Flashback G: Bugze, if you’re ever gonna have any muscles on ya, you’re gonna have to drink this cup of eggs and run around town in this sweatsuit You: But Grandbuggy, it’s a 120 degrees outside! We’re in Marizona during the summer! G: You can’t let the heat beat you boy! Pain is weakness leaving the body! Here, I’ll show you how it’s done. Grandbuggy then chugged the glass of eggs, donned the sweat suit and ran outside. He only made it five steps before he collapsed from heat exhaustion. As you carried him back into the wonderous miracle of air conditioning, you heard him mumbling G: eye of the tiger…thrill of the fight… Present You: then again, he did inexplicably gain 20 pounds of muscle mass the next day
You wander through town in you Subject Delta costume and get a lot of compliments, but you keep them guessing to who you are. Not only do you not want to spoil the surprise, but in your costume, you're roughly as tall as Big Red.
Being tall is awesome! Maybe if I had listened to Grandbuggy then I wouldn't be little bigger than a mare, but then again…
FLASHBACK
"Bugze, if you’re ever gonna have any muscles on ya, you’re gonna have to drink this cup of eggs and run around town in this sweatsuit!"
"But Grandbuggy, we’re in a desert, it's summer, and it's high noon!"
"You can’t let the heat beat you boy! Pain is weakness leaving the body! Here, I’ll show you how it’s done."
Grandbuggy then donned the sweat suit, chugged down the glass of raw eggs, ran outside...
and only made it five steps before he collapsed from heatstroke. As you carried him back inside, you heard him mumbling,
"Eye of the tiger… thrill of the fight…"
PRESENT
Then again, he did inexplicably gain 10 pounds of muscle mass the next day...
You snap out of your mental rambling when you see Cheerliee talking to some pony you don't know with her back turned towards you. You smirk evilly as you think,
Time to begin the scaring spree. First victim, you! Mwhahahahah!
And with that you quickly sneak behind Cheerlie (or at least you quickly sneak as much as possible with a big suit of armor). The pony in front of her sees you and is about to say something, but you make a 'shhh' gesture with your hooves to stop her. You then whisper,
Cheerlie screams in horror at your scare. She turns around quickly and sees your costume before screaming again and then running away screaming, pushing down the pony she was talking to in the process. You start to laugh, but it sounds very creepy and deep due to your voice changer. You help the pony Cheerlie knocked down up, and then continue down the street looking for more ponies to scare.
You chuckle evilly, once again sounding creepy due to your voice changer, as two of the 'Drama Trio' (you started to call them that after you heard how they're always are overreacting to everything and spread gossip and rumors all the time) book it while the other one faints at the spot. So far you've scared eighteen ponies into running, twenty-five into fainting, and twelve peed their fur (or costume). You pick up the fainted pony and carry her over to a nearby stand selling Nightmare Night trinkets. You explain what happened to the stand owner, and he says in awe,
"Well dang man. A few more scares and you'll break the record for most scares on Nightmare Night! Rainbow and Pinkie are tied with sixty, but five more and you'll beat their record and become King of Scares!"
You look at the stand owner in shock, before thinking,
King of Scares huh... I like that! And I'll break that Fillyfooler and the Pink Psycho's record! This is gonna be great, now I'll need to do is find five more ponies to sca-
"LOOK OUT BELOW!"
You look around in confusion for the pony who said that, when you see ponies pointing above you in shock. You gulp in dread as you slowly look up and see...
A waterfall of cider heading straight towards you!
You freeze in shock as you think,
OH BUC-
*SPLASH*
Before you can even finish your thought, you get drenched in cider. Now that wouldn't be too bad considering that your costume is waterproof (you read the rest of the warning and found this out, also apparently this costume is magic layered so if someling stabs ya, it'll only go though the costume), but....
"*Gurgling*"
You dilled a hole into the top of the helmet to prevent the air inside the helmet from getting too stuffy, so your head is kinda submerged in cider right now. Ponies stare (and hold back laughter) as you slowly walk away to a nearby ally to empty your helmet of cider. As you walk away, you can barely make out someling saying "Sorry", but your head is in cider at the moment so you can't really tell. You just gurgle in annoyance and anger as you walk into the ally...
A FEW HOURS LATER, NIGHTTIME
Apparently, cider causes your helmet to become like super glue to whatever it touches. So it took you a few pain-inducing hours of almost drowning to finally get it off. But by then you drank all the cider, so honestly it was just a big waste of time. You had just poured the excess cider out of your helmet when you spot something that makes you stare down in horror! The cider puddles spelling out three words you have begun to dread for awhile now,
THE NIGHTMARE COMES
You back up in horror and think,
Oh Luna...not here! Not now! Okay calm Bugze, just breath. I'll just tell the Doctor about this after Nightmare Night. No need to ruin the holiday.
With that you compose yourself, and leave the ally. After covering the cider in dirt. As you walk out of the ally, you see that the Nightmare Night festival is in full swing. You sigh and think,
Great, I wasted all that time trying to get this blasted helmet off when I could have scared those last five ponies. Oh well, time to play at the game stands and devour any and all unattended candy...
That puts a smile on your face. Nightmare Night was always your favorite holiday as you got to wear cool costumes (or just go as your changeling self), eat candy all night, and prank ponies with no consequences. You smile grows out into a full blown grin as you say,
"Let's get this Nightmare Night started!"
With that, you begin to walk around the festival in search of good games and prizes...
Also, you see AJ and Big Red setting up their stand for the night, they aren’t in costume either. You walk up and moan at them You: (moan) BM: (whinnies) AJ: Whoah Nelly! Heh heh, you got us good pardner. BM: Eyup AJ: who’s in there? You just moan again and put your hand to your mouth in a shushing gesture AJ: heh heh, alright fine, yall keep your secrets stranger, but if you want any good wholesome tasty apples later tonight, you know where to find us.
And you see AppleJack (dressed as a scarecrow) and Big Red (dressed as some sort of dark baron) setting up their apple bobbing stand for the night. You smirk evily as you sneak behind them...
*MOANNNN-WHAM CRASH*
You're greeted with two powerful pairs of back hooves that send you smashing through a nearby building (that was fortunately and conveniently abandoned). As you lie in the rubble, you think,
In retrospect, sneaking behind a pair of earth ponies who buck trees for a living is a pretty bucking stupid idea...
Fortunately, the costume protected you from any serious injury so you just get up and lumber out as AJ and Big Red run up to you.
"Whoah Nelly! You okay partner?" she asks in concern.
You just nod in response.
"Heh heh, I gotta admit you got us good pardner!" Applejack adds
"Eyup." Big Red responds.
"Who’s in thar, anyway?"
You just moan again and put your hoof to your mouth in a shushing gesture,
Applejack laughs and says, "Heh heh, alright fine, y'all keep your secrets stranger, but if you want any good, wholesome, tasty apples later tonight, you know where to find us." As you walk away from the two farm ponies, you cackle evilly as you think,
Hehehehhe, two down, three more ponies to go till I break that record!
You then turn the corner of the street and see...
Nightshade interacts with Pipsqueak which causes you to make a threatening Big Daddy moan until Nightshade reprimands you ("Daddy! We're just talking!")
The Cutie Mark Crusaders with their schoolmates... and Nightshade talking to a colt!
"Thanks Nightshade! I like your classic Mummy costume. Are those real bandages?" Pipsqueak responds and asks,
"Nah... well maybe. I have no clue. My daddy bought them, and they feel real. But they were dirty like this when he gave them to me and he said he got them from the costume part of the store."
"Huh, well it still looks cool."
*snap*
"What is that colt doing talking to my daughter! Grrrrr" you say as your helmet's porthole glows orange and you let out a menacing moan.
Pip and the other foals nearby screams in terror, while Nightshade just rolls her eyes and sighs before saying,
"Daddy! Were just talking! Nothing is going on over here!"
You growls a little bit before saying,
"If you say so sweetheart, but I'm watching you..."
You make the "I'm watching you gesture" with your drill and whirl it a little for emphassi, causing the pirate colt to gulp in fear.
You also can't help but think
That's another one down, two more to go till I'm the King of Scares.
Later, when night falls you take the Girls trick or treating, and Granny Smith gets left with a bunch of other foals she doesn’t know, but is too tired to know or care. The girls, all love your Big Daddy Costume, and at one point, Night Shade has Applebloom sit on your back with her tattered Bride of Manekenstein bow on and takes a picture. In fact, you carry all four of them on your back like a Big Daddy would, just to look awesome in front of all the other kids and parents.
Throughout the night, ponies ask you to take pictures with them because of how cool your costume is, like this were some sort of convention. Unfortunately, you lost sight of Nightshade's group while you were posing for a picture with Button Mash (dressed as a creeper from Minecraft).
As you put Button Mash down so he can get back to his mom, you look around and finally notice Nightshade's group way ahead of you. You are about to go after them when... Nightshade and the CMC dash off to the next row of houses. You follow as fast as you can, which is not very well.
"Oh, let them run," says a voice behind you. "Indeed, Mr. Tennant. Tonight only comes once a year after all." You turn to see Aloe and Lotus in their Nightmare Night costumes. Each sister's coat stands out against the revealing outfit, and the results are impressive. You are stunned into silence, and by your attempts to hold the blood in your nose. Lotus chuckles. "Don't be so surprised. We know it's you by the way you walk." "Yes," Aloe whispers as she slinks up to you. "We know all about how the body moves..." "Sister!" "Oh, come now, sister. You dressed up just like I did. We can't play with him a little bit?" You are so thankful your face is covered up right now... Lotus sighs and shakes her head. "Please forgive her, Mr. Tennant. We really must be going. Maybe we'll see you at Sweet Apple Acres later tonight?" "Or maybe," Aloe purrs, "we'll see you in the morning, after this heavy thing takes its toll on you. I've been watching those muscles of yours and-" The rest of her statement is cut off as Lotus bites her tail and drags her away. "You're never any fun!" You stand rooted in place until the DFV coughs loudly, the only sound you've heard from it in a long time.
"Oh, let them run," says a voice behind you.
"Indeed, Mr. Tennant. Tonight only comes once a year after all."
You turn to see Aloe and Lotus in their Nightmare Night costumes. Each sister's coat stands out against the revealing outfit, and the results are impressive. You are stunned into silence and by your attempts to hold back the blood in your nose.
Lotus chuckles,
"Don't be so surprised. We knew it's you by your protectiveness over your daughter and the way you walk."
"Yes," Aloe whispers as she slinks up to you. "We know all about how the body moves..."
"Aloe!"
"Oh, come on Lotus. You dressed up just like I did. Can't play with him a little bit?"
You are so thankful your face is covered up right now...
Lotus sighs and shakes her head,
"Please forgive her, Mr. Tennant. We really must be going. Maybe we'll see you at Sweet Apple Acres later tonight?"
"Or maybe," Aloe purrs, "we'll see you in the morning, after this heavy thing takes its toll on you. I've been watching those muscles of yours and all that stress must be making them beg for-eep!"
The rest of her statement is cut off as Lotus bites her tail and drags her away.
"You're never any fun!" Aloe complains.
You stand rooted in place in shock before you shake it off and turn around to follow Nightshade, but before they leave, Aloe gets a mischievous grin on her face as she breaks out of her sister's hold. Lotus shouts at her to stop, but you don't notice as you feel a sudden weight on your back. You shake slightly from whatever the weight is, but manage to stay up as you turn your head behind you to see...
Aloe lying on her side on your back suggestively while holding her fan seductively.
You blush like mad and blood spurts out of your nose at her pose so close to you. She then giggles as she says,
"Lotus, can you please take my picture with Mister Tennant?"
You see Lotus eye twitch in annoyance as she takes out a camera form her saddle bag as she says,
"As long as you promise not to bug Mister Tennant for the rest of the night, I'll take the picture."
Aloe pouts slightly before saying reluctantly,
"Fine, fine. Just take the picture!"
Lotus sighs as she holds the camera up and says,
"Say Nightmare Night!"
You simply hold up your drill and let out a moan as usual, but Aloe has other plans as she suddenly...
kisses the side of your helmet as the camera flashes!
You freeze in shock as a huge amount of blood leaves your nose. Aloe giggles mischievously, and Lotus looks like shes about to scold her, but Aloe quickly says,
"Hey Lotus, look, it's Bulk Biceps! Why don't you go over there and try a "Seduc-tality" on him?"
Lotus blushes in embarrassment and stammers,
"Wha.. would...No, just no Aloe! Stop trying to set me up with every stallion we meet! For the last time, when I find my special somepony, it'll just happen!"
"Oh, don't give me that." Aloe says as she hops off you, "I know you want to find your special somepony sooner rather then later, I'm just giving you that extra..."
She bumps her hip against Lotus's as she continues,
"...shove."
"For the last time no!" Lotus firmly confirms before she suddenly gets a mischievous smirk,
"You know, I don't think you've tried to hook me up with Mister Tennant. I wonder why? Maybe it's because you li-"
"HEY BULK BICEPS! HAVE YOU MET MY SISTER! SHE TOTALLY DIGS STALLIONS WITH BIG MUSCLES AND TINY WINGS!"
"WHY YOU LITTLE!" Lotus yells as Aloe runs away and Lotus gives chase.
All the while, you stand still as you feel like your whole body is a red tint like in cartoons. You start to stammer in your mind,
She... she... she... she... she... she...
Snap out of it you puppy! She didn't even touch your cheek, it was just your helmet!
You snap out of it as you start to cough as you think,
Ye... yes that was it. It was on the helmet... hehehhe... uh... oh, Look a distraction!
I'm in your head you idiot, that won't wo-
I SAID LOOK A DISTRACTION!
The DFV goes quiet as you run (or speed-stumble due to your costume) towards where you saw Nightshade's group going. If someling was looking closely, they can see a tiny green blood drops leaking out of the helmet...
Nightshade and the CMC discuss their groundings. Bugze arrives and asks Nightshade if she decided which grounding to go with yet.
Well,back to topic,he could visit Vinyl and hear some of the new nightmare-night-animal-head-special-songs.
You also See Vinyl in her Soundwave costume, even bigger than your own, playing music through the four Animitronic Freddy Fazbear heads.
After speed-stumbling to where you last saw Nightshades group, you finally found them in front of the Nightmare Night stage. As you walk over to them, you hear their conversation,
"-took my Scooter and my Skateboard for a month, No stunts till then." Scootaloo says.
"I'm banned from going to the arcade for the next two weeks and I have to help gather supplies for my sisters clothes until then too." Sweetie Belle adds.
"Well, I have ta clean out all the animal pens." Apple Bloom adds.
"My Daddy gave me the choice between giving my Nightmare Night Candy to charity or going without dessert for a week. I'm going to go with the candy..."
She smiles cunningly before adding,
"but I won't tell him till after I eat it all... Heheheh-"
"Oh really?" you say as you walk up behind Nightshade.
"Uh-oh."
"Busted."
"Good Luck Nightshade."
"Buck..."
"Nice try Nightshade, but thanks for deciding to give your candy to the less fortunate. I'm sure they'll be very thankful."
"But dadddddy..." Nightshade whines, "It's my very first Nightmare Night!"
"Well on my first Nightmare Night, I was hogtied, an apple was stuffed into my snout, and I was served to some hungry Griffions. You don't get to complain."
The fillies look at you in confusion as you shiver at the memory of your bullies back at the Hive tormenting you.
I'm REALLY glad grandbuggy happened to be there...
You snap out of your flashback when you see Vinyl (dressed in her Soundwave costume) setting up her Nightmare Night stereo on stage. You and the CMC are all a little creeped out that the animatronic heads Vinyl is using as speakers have blood and mucus coming out of their eyes, but you have to give Vinyl credit, she sure knows how to make animitronic heads into speakers. You decide to go and talk to her (or scare her) seeing as how Nightshade's group is in your eye sight, you could have a chat with Vinyl...
You scare her into shouting, "AHHHH IT'D THE AUTOBOTS!" and you think evily,
Hehehe, one pony left-
"Excuse me sir?"
You turn around to talk to whoever said that when...
Later at the festival, the Mayor is dressed like a Bucking Clown! You: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!(pointing at her and with your voice modulater, it sounds really strange) everyone just looks at you funny MM: Umm…Is everything alright? You: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! MM: Sir? You: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Twilight shuts off your modulater, and your screaming is muffled by your armor. She then continues her speech. You miss what she says, but you do hear Spike talking about how she isn’t scary as a clown You grab him by the arms and shake him You: CLOWNS ARE THE UNHOLY ABOMINATIONS OF DEATH ITSELF! HOW DO YOU NOT FEAR THEM!!! Twilight Slaps you upside the head, which doesn’t hurt with the helmet, but you do stop shaking Spike.
You see the Mayor dressed up like a Bucking Clown!
You jump back in shock off the stage, pointing a hoof at her and screaming,
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
However, your voice modulater was still on, so it sounds really strange causing everypony to just look at you funny.
"Umm…Is everything alright?" the mayor asks,
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" you continue to scream.
"Sir?"
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH-*click*"
Twilight shuts off your modulator and your screaming is muffled by your armor so the Mayor then continues her speech,
You miss what she says, but you do hear Spike (dressed as a dragon) say,
"Spooky voice might work better if she wasn't dressed like that."
You grab him by the arms and shake him while screaming (although it's muffled by your voice modulator being off),
"CLOWNS ARE THE UNHOLY ABOMINATIONS OF DEATH ITSELF! HOW DO YOU NOT FEAR THE-*smack*!!!"
Twilight slaps you upside the head (which doesn't hurt with the helmet) making you stop shaking Spike. After you manage to put your voice changer back on (after taking a few good minutes to calm down) you say,
"Luna I hate that ma-huh... what happened to my voice?"
You get a confused look at how your voice doesn't sound like Subject Delta, but someling else... Suddenly with your new tone in voice, you get a great idea...
Get a bit creeped out at Vinyl's new stereo system that's made up of Freddy Fazbear heads, but then sing
You quickly get on stage and walk quickly over to Vinyl and whisper the idea to her. She nods her and and says,
"No problem dude, let's get Nightmare Night started right!"
With that, this begins to play form the animatronic speakers as Vinyl hoofs you a microphone. You nod your head in thanks as you head to the front of the stage. Everyling stopped what they were doing when the music began to play and are looking at you wondering what's going on. You smirk as you... begin to sing!
"Colts and fillies of every age Wouldn't you like to see something strange? Come with us and you will see This our town on Nightmare Night"
"This is Nightmare Night, this is Nightmare Night Pumpkins scream in the dead of night"
As you sing that, jack-o-lanterns fall from the sky and get impaled into some spikes at the top of the stage.
"This is Nightmare Night, everypony make a scene Trick or treat till the neighbors gonna die of fright It's our town, everypony scream In this town on Nightmare Night"
Golden Harvest jumps in dressed as a devil, grabs the microphone, and sings,
"I am the one hiding under your bed Teeth ground sharp and eyes glowing red"
Minuette jumps on stage next dressed as a surgeon and sings,
"I am the cheap quack coming to your door One wrong move and you're bleeding on the floor"
You take the microphone back and continue singing,
"This is Nightmare Night, this is Nightmare Night Nightmare Night! Nightmare Night! Nightmare Night! Nightmare Night! In this town we call home Everypony hail to the nightmare song"
Mayor Mare jumps out briefly scaring you back a bit as she grabs the microphone and sings,
"In this town, don't we love it now Everypony's waiting for the next surprise"
Applejack dressed as a Scarescrow takes the microphone form the Mayor and sings,
"Round that corner stallion hiding in the trash can Something's waiting no to pounce, and how ya'll scream!"
The Drama Trio (wearing a cowpony hat, a bowler hat, and a sombrero) grab the microphone next and sing one after the other,
"Scream! This is Nightmare Night Red 'n' black, slimy green Aren't you scared?"
Aloe and Lotus bump them off and start to sing while performing a synchronized and... suggestive dance with their fans that get wolf-whistles from the stallions in the audience (and your helmet to fill with noseblood). Aloe winks at you before she and Lotus sing after each other,
"Well, that's just fine Say it once, say it twice Take a chance and roll the dice Ride with the moon in the dead of night"
Derpy (dressed in paperbags) bumps them offstage while yelling "Hey, there's foals here!" before she realizes she has to sing next so she quickly says,
Everypony scream, everypony scream!
You briefly wonder on how she got here, but decide to worry about it later.
Mayor Mare jumps out briefly scaring you back a bit as she sings,
"I am the clown with the rainbow hair Here right now and then going over there"
A stallion dressed as the ninth doctor (or is it the actual 9th doctor?) sings,
"I am the who when you call, Who's there?"
Sassaflash dressed as a pharaoh sings,
"I am the royal desert flower mare"
Berry Punch dressed as Daring Do comes in next,
"I am the explorer discovering lost temples grabbing artifacts before evil can assemble"
You grab he microphone from her in annoyance and continue singing,
"This is Nightmare Night, this is Nightmare Night Nightmare Night! Nightmare Night! Nightmare Night! Nightmare Night! Nightmare Night! Nightmare Night!"
Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo all adorably jump in next and all sing at once,
"Tender lumplings everywhere Life's no fun without a good scare!"
Pinkie (dressed as a chicken) and Rainbow Dash (dressed in... an evil Wonderbolts costume?) jump on and sing,
"That's our job, but we're not mean In our town on Nightmare Night"
The Mayor jumps in,
"In this town Don't we love it now Everypony's waiting for the next surprise"
You scare her off with the drill before grabbing the microphone back as everypony joins in,
"Nightmare Moon might catch you in the back And scream like a banshee Make you jump out of your fur This is Nightmare Night, everypony scream Wont' ya please make way for a very scary mare?"
Twilight walks in with Nightshade on her back, Nightshade grabs a torch and sets herself on fire. A pony points this out to you in a panic, but you obliviously respond that she's fine because she's wearing fireproof bandages until you realize this means the exposing of her alicorn form so you panic as everypony else sings,
"Our mare Nightmare Moon is the mare in the moon Everypony cower before the Nightmare Queen! This is Nightmare Night, this is Nightmare Night Nightmare Night! Nightmare Night! Nightmare Night! Nightmare Night!"
A flaming Nightshade dives into the fountain, you panic and try to rush over to Nightshade, but trip down the stairs as the CMC get to the fountain and sing,
"In this town we call home Everypony hail to the nightmare song"
At this point, Nightshade slowly rises out of the fountain in that Nightmare Moon-looking armor causing you to fill with dread, but the ponies keep singing.
Nightshade then reveals she asked Twilight to levitate her
After a quick bow form you, you go over to Nightshade and hear,
"Did you see that filly's costume!"
"Yeah, it look so real, like she actually was Nightmare Moon!"
"She even had the armor down pat, I wonder were she got it from?"
You quickly walk over to Nightshade as you hear more complements of her costume. You chuckle nervously as you finally get to Nightshade. She looks at you with actual stars in her eyes as she says,
"`Anata wa watashi no papa o mimashita! Watashi wa anata no yōna... Totemo kūru to hi ni shite subarashī to kūrudatta!" (Did you see me Daddy! I was so cool and on fire and awesome and cool...like you!)
You chuckle at her excitement and say,
"Yes I did sweetheart, you were amazing. Here are those extra bandages I got just in case your old ones got destroyed."
She nods her head in thanks as she starts to put on the bandages, and you smile at how adorable she looks.
You then see Zecora, with her mane down and spiders in her hair, putting on a spooky show for the kids. She then starts leading them into the forest and Night Shade follows. You: Wait, where are they going? Spike: They’re gonna learn about the origins of Nightmare Moon You: There’s an origin story? Spike: Ya, how do you not know that? You think back to your previous Nightmare Nights and how all you did was just gorge yourself on candy in your natural form. Nightmare Moon was just a name you associated with monsters under the bed and in the closet, you never really bothered to look up why. Besides, you always thought it was kind of a silly name. You decide to hear this tale yourself You see the lots of fillies and colts, and Pinkie listening to Zecora and her tale. Nightmare Moon just wants to eat children and that’s why they dress up to confuse her. Also, leaving her candy stops her bloodlust You: Heh heh, not really scary if you ask me…kind of funny and kid friendly if anything, although that statue looks awesome… wait, haven’t I seen that before on my shoulder? DFV: A mockery…(Downtrodden) You: What? DFV: A mockery of all that she and I set out to accomplish. You: She? DFV: A festival for fun and children with History forgotten…we accomplished nothing…What was the point? (saddened) You: What are you blathering on about? DFV: …You must think me heartless. You: That’d be a good guess ya DFV: I was born out of the want of love, fueled by jealousy, anger, and betrayal… You: What does… DFV: That’s all I’ve known. For a Millennia, that is all we knew…and then I was betrayed once again by someone I thought was a friend…Cast aside…It’s all I’ve ever known… You: Is there a point to this? DFV: …But I do have other feelings now…I do care for those close to me. You: Ya, ya, I’ve heard it all before, you love Night Shade, my threat from last night still stands DFV: As it should… You: What? DFV: I care for my daughter too much to risk dying by your hoof…and I care for you too much to let you go through with it… You: Come again? DFV: You may think that I’m only saying this because of your threat, or because I want to keep living myself. I do, Heavens above I do…but I want you alive as well You: ummm… DFV: If it weren’t for you, then I wouldn’t be here…I wouldn’t have these new feelings. I wouldn’t have Night Shade… You: Uhh… DFV: I care for you greatly Bugze…I don’t want you to die anymore than I would. So I will try…I will try to fight my nature for you, so that you will never have to decide our fate…I’m sorry… You are thrown for a loop by this admission, also that she called you by name with care in her voice. You: I…uh…Wow…I’m sorry too I guess…but I still mean what I said…but ya...I'm sorry. DFV: I know my friend…I know… You: And look, I care for you too, you’ve saved my life countless times and somehow you did give me Night Shade, so I’ve never seen you as a complete inconvenience… DFV: Thank you… You: And besides, fighting nature is what I do best, what other Changeling do you know that doesn’t take love forcefully? (Besides Grandbuggy, but she’s never met him) You can do it too. DFV: I will try my best… You don’t know how, but you can tell she is smiling. You: OK, this is weird now, can we go back to our usual banter? DFV: I may not kill, but I will beat down all those that threaten our family with righteous fury till they wish they were dead You: And there’s the psycho I know and love (Smile)…listen, I know it may seem like I should’ve asked this a long time ago…but who are you? Really? DFV: Haven’t you already figured it out? You shake your head DFV: (sigh) You know, you really are dense sometimes…I am Nigh…(Gasp) You: What? What is it? DFV: SHE COMES!!! (Anger, Fear, Surprise) You: Who? All of a sudden a chariot pulled by Bat Ponies descends from a storm, looking like an awesome metal band cover. Someone Screams: IT’S NIGHTMARE MOON!!!! RUN!!! It stops above you, and you see a smiling cloaked figure silhouetted by lightning. You: OH BUCK THIS!!!! And you bravely flee with the rest
You then see Zecora, with her mane down and spiders in her hair, putting on a spooky show for the kids. She then starts leading them into the forest and Night Shade follows. You walk over to Spike and ask,
"Wait, where are they going?"
Spike looks over to you and says
"They’re gonna learn about the origins of Nightmare Moon"
You look at him in confusion as you say
"There’s an origin story?"
Spike nods his head and says
"Ya, how do you not know that?"
You chuckle nervously as you say
"I've been.,,,living under a rock fur You think back to your previous Nightmare Nights and how all you did was just gorge yourself on candy in your natural form. Nightmare Moon was just a name you associated with monsters under the bed and in the closet, you never really bothered to look up why. Besides, you always thought it was kind of a silly name. You decide to hear this tale yourself You see the lots of fillies and colts, and Pinkie listening to Zecora and her tale. Nightmare Moon just wants to eat children and that’s why they dress up to confuse her. Also, leaving her candy stops her bloodlust
Heh heh, not really scary if you ask me…kind of funny and kid friendly if anything, although that statue looks awesome… wait, haven’t I seen that before on my shoulder?
You then hear the DFV say in a downtrodden tone
A mockery…
What?
A mockery of all that she and I set out to accomplish.
She?
The DFV ignores your question as she says in a sad tone
A festival for fun and children with History forgotten…we accomplished nothing…What was the point?
What are you blathering on about?
…You must think me heartless.
That’d be a good guess ya.
I was born out of the want of love, fueled by jealousy, anger, and betrayal…
What does…
That’s all I’ve known. For a Millennia, that is all we knew…and then I was betrayed once again by someone I thought was a friend…Cast aside…It’s all I’ve ever known…
You give a annoyed sigh as you think
Is there a point to this?
…But I do have other feelings now…I do care for those close to me.
Ya, ya, I’ve heard it all before, you love Night Shade, my threat from last night still stands
As it should…
Yeah yeah yea whatever you sa-Say what now?
You ask in complete surprise
I care for my daughter too much to risk dying by your hoof…and I care for you too much to let you go through with it…
Come again?
You may think that I’m only saying this because of your threat, or because I want to keep living myself. I do, Heavens above I do…but I want you alive as well
ummm…
If it weren’t for you, then I wouldn’t be here…I wouldn’t have these new feelings. I wouldn’t have Night Shade…
Uhh…
I care for you greatly Bugze…I don’t want you to die anymore than I would. So I will try…I will try to fight my nature for you, so that you will never have to decide our fate…I’m sorry…
You are thrown for a loop by this admission, also that she called you by name with care in her voice.
I…uh…Wow…I’m sorry too I guess…but I still mean what I said…but ya...I'm sorry.
I know my friend…I know…
And look, I care for you too, you've saved my life countless times and somehow you did give me Night Shade, so I’ve never seen you as a complete inconvenience…
Thank you…
And besides, fighting nature is what I do best, what other Changeling do you know that doesn’t take love forcefully, and now not at all for some reason. (Besides Grandbuggy, but she’s never met him) You can do it too.
I will try my best…
You don’t know how, but you can tell she is smiling.
OK, this is weird now, can we go back to our usual banter?
I may not kill, but I will beat down all those that threaten our family with righteous fury till they wish they were dead
And there’s the psycho I know and love (Smile)…listen, I know it may seem like I should’ve asked this a long time ago…but who are you? Really?
Haven’t you already figured it out?
You shake your head
(sigh) You know, you really are dense sometimes…I am Nigh…(Gasp)
What? What is it?
The DFV suddenly shouts in anger, pain, and sadness
SHE COMES!!!
Who?
All of a sudden a chariot pulled by Bat Ponies descends from a storm, looking like an awesome metal band cover. You would have admired it if someling didn't just shout
"IT’S NIGHTMARE MOON!!!! RUN!!!"
It stops above you, and you see a smiling cloaked figure silhouetted by lightning. Seeing this, you do the stallionist think possible
OH BUCK THIS!!!!
And you bravely flee with the rest. As you try to get away, you seeTwilight gets swept up in the frightened mob and is dragged off and you try to follow them, but you slam
*clang*
Right into the Nightmare Moon statue.
The impact sends you sprawling backwards, which causes you to bounce across the ground till you land right in front of the cloaked figure. As you dizzily look up form your prone position, you see the figure take off their hood and what you see fills you with both fear and dread. For you see... Princess Luna, ruler of the night, and the number one pony who wants Nightshade... gone. There is only one thing you can think of at this moment...
BUCK YOU LADYYYYYYYY LUCKKKKKKK!!! [ What do you do?
[FIXED] Episode 32: HOLY MOTHER OF LUNA! IT'S LUNA....Wait, Huh? (Nightmare Night Part 2)
So let's see here. Standing before you is Princess Luna, an ultra-powerful alicorn that wants to kill your adorable daughter because of some dillusion about her being Nightmare Moon. "Oh buck me." You think to yourself as you slowly rise before her "What do I do? Why is she even here?! Does she know about Nightshade!? I have to do something, and fast. Weighing your options; on the one hoof, Luna is clearly a major threat to you and Nightshade and you should totally take her down while you have the chance. But on the other hoof, Luna's way more powerful than you without your Nightmare cloak and could probably take you down unless you use it, and that would pose the risk of putting everyone around you in danger (no danger of dying thanks to DFV's promise, but danger none the less). On the third hoof, it might be worth the risk if it means protecting Nightshade. And on the fourth hoof- *clunk* You just fell over for counting on all your hooves at once
.
Uh oh. This does not look good. As you stare into the eyes of the princess many things go through your mind. You know with your luck that this will only end with pain. You notice that your helmet is still on your head, which means your cover is not blown.....yet. You have to get away from her as quickly as possible and find Nightshade. You don't even want to think of what they would do to her if she gets found out. You feel a sense of determination grow inside you. You need a plan!
As you continue to look up at the dark lunar monarch, several things go through your mind,
Oh buck me. You think to yourself as you slowly rise before her.
What do I do? Why is she even here?! Does she know about Nightshade!? I have to do something, and fast!
When you finally get up, you raise a hoof as you begin mentally weighing your options,
On the one hoof, Luna is an ultra-powerful alicorn princess who wants Nightshade dead out of some delusion that she's Nightmare Moon so I should definitely take her down when I have the chance. But on the other hoof, Luna is WAY more powerful than basic me without Nightmare Cloak and even if I do use it, I'll be a danger to EVERYTHING around me... even Nightshade!On the third hoof, it might be worth the risk if it means protecting Nightshade once and for all.And on the fourth hoof- *clunk*
You just fell over for counting on all your hooves at once, causing Luna to look at you in confusion.
Oh buuuuuuuck! With my luck, this can only end in pain! I need to get out of here and find Nightshade FAST! Need a plan, NOW!
Go to defcon 1, as you realize That night shade is out in the open, with the one pony who would see her hanged from a tree. your fatherly instincts will go into overdrive as you start making unintelligible noises in sheer panic.
"Qruosyivcasbfxmhwmjspaotzmlerusgnkd..."
Instead of thinking of a plan, you start to make unintelligible noises in a panic.
Darn it mouth!!!
Stay cool, Luna has only seen you in your hooded form... then again Celestia could've told her your a changeling, but Nightshade is currently with the group that ran away... As this goes back and forth in your mind, you notice Luna just staring at you. You mentally panic and prepare a Falcon Punch with your drill, when she comments on your costume (although she does express her preference for the "Bouncer" Big Daddy design)
Luna stares at you for a moment before asking "Citizen, the driver seems to have gotten lost, woulds't thou be so kind as to direct us to Ponyville? There is someone we need to find." she says ominously. Does that mean what you think it means? If it does, then she's trying to hunt down Nightshade! "Don't just sit there and gawk. DO SOMETHING! DFV screams at you. "Buck yeah I'mma do something!" "YOU. SHALL NOT! PASS!" you yell defiantly through your voice modulator and take a defensive stance between Luna and the path to town, revving up your drill for emphasis. Luna raises an eyebrow and looks behind you. She then turns back to her guards "I told you it was over that way, let's go before we arrive late!" And with that they fly off in their goth-band style chariot, completely ignoring you.
Okay, calm down Bugze, you think to yourself in an attempt to calm down, Luna has only seen you in your hooded form so you're fine... Then again her sister could have told her that I'm a changeling... But Nightshade's still with the group so she's ok-
"Citizen." Luna suddenly says interrupting your mental rambling. "The driver seems to have gotten lost, woulds't thou be so kind as to direct us to Ponyville? There is somepony we need to find." she says ominously.
Wait, does that mean what I think it means?, you think in a worried panic If it does, then she's trying to hunt down Nightshade!
Well don't just sit there and gawk you fool! DO SOMETHING! DFV screams at you.
*snap*
Buck yeah I'mma do something! you mentally think in determination as your porthole glows orange and you rise off the ground.
"YOU. SHALL NOT! PASS!" you yell defiantly through your voice modulator and take a defensive stance between Luna and the path to town, revving up your drill for emphasis.
Luna stands there blankly.
"Thou art getting thy references mixed up" Luna says, "Although thy Subject Delta costume is commendable in spite of the fact that Big Daddies typically glow red instead of orange. Thou even got the drill right even if I do prefer the multi-ports of the "Bouncer" design and have a personal preference for the first game overall."
Your jaw drops behind the helmet and your drill dies down as you think,
Hey! My costume is more than 'commendable'. It's got a fully functional drill for crying out lou- Wait a second... There's no way she could tell if this was Delta! Unless... HOLY LUNA, SHE PLAYED THE GAME! I THOUGHT SHE ONLY PLAYED OLD GAMES FROM THE TIME I ACCIDENTALLY TELEPORTED MYSELF INTO HER BEDROOM!!!
"Anyway, as I was saying before, does thou know the whereabouts of Ponyville or the location of a 'Baker Sylvester Tennant'?"
She then asks for the whereabouts of "Mr. Tennant" You leap forward, shrieking at the top of your lungs like a schoolfilly, "FALCON DRILL-PUNCH THINGY I DON'T KNOW JUST PLEASE LET THIS WORK!" The drill freezes in mid-air, surrounded by a blue aura, and Luna grins. "A fair attempt, citizen, but I saw it coming a mile away. If you want to scare somepony with something so obvious, you need to surprise them." She lets you go and asks again about Mr. Tennant. Considering that she just stopped your attack cold, and she's asking about you personally, you call this a deadly situation. "One... two... three..." Luna narrows her eyes. "What are you doing?" Oh crap, she narrowed her eyes! "O-one... two... three..." "Stop that." "O-one... four... eleven..." Luna stomps a hoof, cracking the ground and roaring in the RCV, "STOP THAT!" You squeak, "Ten" and run away.
Remember what the Doctor said during Cider Season, "OH, A BIT OF A WARNING! ON NIGHTMARE NIGHT, IF YOU SEE SOMETHING THAT LOOKS DEADLY, YOU MUST COUNT TO 10 BEFORE RUSHING IN! GOT THAT? GOOD! ALLONS-Y!"
*crack* OH BUCK SHE KNOWS MY ALIAS!!! You mentally panic. You're about to try to Falcon Punch her with your drill when you remember something the Doctor said right after that competition with the proto-Termarenator.
FLASHBACK TO CIDER SEASON
"OH, A BIT OF A WARNING! ON NIGHTMARE NIGHT, IF YOU SEE SOMETHING THAT LOOKS DEADLY, YOU MUST COUNT TO 10 BEFORE RUSHING IN! GOT THAT? GOOD! ALLONS-Y!"
BACK TO PRESENT
Calm down bug, calm down. Remember, the Doctor hasn't lied to you yet. Sure. he's misguided you, sent you to where you're most likely to die, and put your daughter back in danger, but he hasn't lied. *Sigh* Here it goes...
"One... two... three..."
"What are you doing?" Luna asks as she looks at you in confusion,
Blast, she's looking at me! you mentally panic as you unwitting start over,
"O-one... two... th- three..."
"Stop that." she says blanky.
"F-four... five-... s- six..."
"Stop that." she repeats with more annoyance in her voice.
"S-Seven... Eleven.... Nine..." you stammer more nervously.
Her patience at an end, Luna stomps a hoof, cracking the ground and roaring in the Royal Canterlot Voice,
"I COMMAND THOU TO CEASE!!!!"
"Ten." you squeak before hightailing it out of there.
Luna raises an eyebrow and where you once stood and sees Ponyville.
"I told thou it was over that way," she says as she turns to her guards "Let us depart before we arrive late!"
And with that they fly off in their goth-band style chariot towards Ponyville.
ONE RUN LATER
Okay... Princess Luna is in Ponyville. She know your name, and she wants your daughter- BAM! Pinkie Pie tackles you to the ground. "Big Daddy! You gotta save us! NIGHTMARE MOON WILL FEAST ON US ALL!" You look behind her and see Nightshade and the CMC in the group of kids following her. You come up with a cunning plan. "Yes! Yes, she will eat you! RUN AND DO NOT STOP RUNNING!" The entire group jumps into the air, screaming. "Oh, you also might not want to answer any question she asks you. Just in case she talks to you instead of eating you." Pinkie cocks her head, staring at you. "So... we're not supposed to talk to Nightmare Moon." "Nope." "But we can still run and scream, right?" "Of course." Pinkie nods and turns back to the kids. "Okay everypony, follow my lead." She shrieks and gallops away, followed by the group.
When you get to Ponyville, you see that…everyone appears to be cowering before her as she speaks in the DFV. You hold Night Shade close and cower near Twilight Sparkle. Luna starts talking about changing Nightmare Night into a glorious feast. Pinkie: Did you hear that Everypony? Nightmare Moon says she’s going to feast on us all! Pinkie/Foals: AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! (Runs away) Luna looks as flabbergasted by that statement as much as you are Luna: What? No Children NO! You no longer have reason to fear us You: (thinking) Except of course for the ones you are ok with hanging! She then starts trying to talk with the mayor and others, and it even looks like she’s about to punch the assistant, but doesn’t. Luna: What is the matter with you? Very Well then! Be that way! We won’t even bother with the traditional royal fairwell! (she says as she leaves upset) You: Wow, getting rid of her was easier than I thought, who would’ve thunk giving her the cold shoulder would’ve worked? Night Shade: She looked sad Daddy You: Ya she did, heh heh, it’s what she gets. DFV: I told you she was weak and pathetic! If only I could get my hooves on her I would…no…No I can’t do that anymore…I promised…Grrrr… You: Look, I know you don’t like her, but calm down, she’s already leaving, everything’s fine Twilight: I’m going to go talk to her. You/Spike: What?! Spike: (pulling on Twilight’s cape) you can’t talk to her she’s Nightmare Moon Twilight: No she’s not… You: Ya, that’s clearly Princess Luna…come to think of it, why is the Pink Psycho and everyone else calling her that? Twilight: I don’t know, I saw the Elements of Harmony change her back to good, but it seems like she’s having trouble adjusting… You: Wait Wait Wait! Hold Up! What do you mean changed her back to good? Twilight: When she actually was Nightmare Moon You: WHAT!? Princess Luna was Nightmare Moon? When did this happen? Twilight: …Have you been living under a rock or something? You: Well… Twilight: Last year during the Summer Sun Celebration, she returned swearing eternal night, but the girls and I reformed her with the Elements of Harmony, casting out the darkness of her soul DFV: The pain of what they did is indescribable. You: Wow…that feels like something I should’ve known…wow Twilight: Well it looks like you’re not the only one (glares and looks around at all the other ponies) And after being gone for a thousand years, it seems like she still doesn’t know the customs. Night Shade: She seemed so alone… Twilight: That’s why somepony needs to talk to her, to show her we don’t fear her You: But some of us kinda do Twilight: Not all of us! Twilight stomps off after the Princess.
You finally make it back to Ponyville (which wasn't easy in your cumbersome suit so you ended up smashing and drilling through several trees... Fluttershy is probably not gonna be too happy about that...) but when you catch your breath you see… everypony cowering before Princess Luna as she speaks in the DFV.
Okay... Princess Luna is in Ponyville. She know my name, and she wants my daughter... TIME TO PAN-
*BAM!*
Pinkie Pie tackles you to the ground before you can mentally panic further,
"Big Daddy! You gotta save us!" she screams, "NIGHTMARE MOON WILL FEAST ON US ALL!"
You look behind her and see Nightshade and the CMC in the group of foals following her so you come up with a cunning plan to keep them safe,
"Uh... Yeah! But that's not the worst part! "
"IT ISN'T?!" the foals say at once.
"Yeah, if she gets her hooves on you, she'll boil you to death, eat your flesh, and sew your skins into her royal gown – and if you're very, very lucky, she'll do it in that order!"
The entire group jumps into the air screaming.
"Yeah, so you better RUN AND DO NOT EVER STOP RUNNING! Oh, you also might not want to answer any question she asks you. Just in case she talks to you instead of eating you. That's just her lulling you into a false sense of security before she snatches you away!" You warn them.
Pinkie cocks her head, staring at you,
"So... we're not supposed to talk to Nightmare Moon."
"E-Nope." you say bluntly as Big Red sneezes
"But we can still run and scream, right?" Pinkie asks.
"Of course."
Pinkie nods and turns back to the foals,
"Okay everypony, follow my lead..."
"TOGETHER WE SHALL CHANGE THIS DREADFUL CELEBRATION INTO A BRIGHT AND GLORIOUS FEAST!!!" Luna declares in the RCV.
"Did you hear that Everypony? Nightmare Moon says she’s going to feast on us all!" She shrieks and gallops away, followed by the group.
Luna looks as flabbergasted by their reaction as you snicker.
"What? No, Children NO! You no longer have reason to fear us!"
*snap*
Except of course for the ones you're ok with hanging! You think angrily as Luna starts trying to talk with the mayor and others, and it even looks like she’s about to punch the assistant, but doesn't.
"Very Well then! Be that way! We won’t even bother with the traditional royal fairwell!" she whines before walking off in a huff.
Wow, getting rid of her was easier than I thought. Who would've thunk giving her the cold shoulder would've actually worked?
I told you she was weak and pathetic! If only I could get my hooves on her I would…Darn it! I can’t do that anymore… I promised…Grrrr…
Look, I know you don’t like her, but calm down, she’s already leaving. Everything is going to be fine-
"I’m going to go talk to her." Twilight says,
"WHAT?!" you and Spike exclaim at the same time.
"You can’t talk to her, she’s Nightmare Moon!" Spike exclaims while tugging on her cape.
"No she’s not-"
"Ya, that’s clearly Princess Luna…" You say in confused agreement as you interrupt Twilight, "Come to think of it, why is the Pink Psycho and everyone else calling her that?"
"I don’t know, I saw the Elements of Harmony change her back to good, but it seems like she’s having trouble adjusting-" Twilight says
"Wait Wait Wait! Hold Up!" you interrupt, "What do you mean changed her back to good?"
"When she actually was Nightmare Moon-"
"WHAT!? Princess Luna was Nightmare Moon? When did this happen?!"
"…Have you been living under a rock or something?" Twilight asks you in a combination of puzzled and annoyed
"Well…"
"Last year during the Summer Sun Celebration, she returned swearing eternal night, but the girls and I reformed her with the Elements of Harmony, casting out the darkness of her soul."
The pain of what they did is indescribable.
You ignore the DFV as you say
"Wow…that feels like something I should’ve known- wait..."
You then remember how Cadance told you the story of Nightmare Moon back at the castle during the Grand Galloping Gala.
Oh yeah, I DO know that... you think sheepishly.
Imbecile.
"Well it looks like you’re not the only one... " Twilight says as she glares at all the other ponies around her, "And after being gone for a thousand years, it seems like she still doesn't know the customs."
"She did seem kinda alone…" you comment hesitantly.
"That’s why somepony needs to talk to her, to show her we don’t fear her." Twilight says.
"But some of us kinda do." you protest.
"Not all of us!" Twilight declares before stomping off after the Princess.
As Twilight departs you think,
Ahhhh, should I help Twilight or should I just stay here? Gah I can't decide!
What do you do?
Episode 33: Stalking The Night (Technically Speaking) (Nightmare Night Part 3)
As you're having trouble deciding what choice to make, you decide that you should do something to clear your mind in order to help you think better,
I know! I should do Inventory check real quick!
With that, you open the Inventory and see...
Brown pouch with 25 Bits in it Your awesome hooded black coat "El Hunko" suit Your favorite Stetson "How to be A Gentle Colt 101" book "Kung-Fu For Dummies" book All Four Sherclop Holmes Novels and all fifty-six short stories Used History Textbook "Animals, Nature, and You" book Patching supplies (Vise-Grips, several rolls of duct tape, and several cans of WD-40. Never leave home without them) List of all your powers and spells Note with your debt to The Doctor Nightshade's crayon drawing of you Magic black staff with a red crystal on top of it Pink "Lover's Jewel" Necklace Orange Bandanna Purple Top Hat Knock-out Luna Plushie TARDIS-blue Pen Inter-Dimensional Notebook 3 Pre-prepared Salads 3 Cans of Broccoli Cheese Soup 3 Cans of Tomato Cream Soup 3 Boxes of Crackers 6 carrots 15 Granola bars 12-pack of Water bottles 1 Can of powdered milk "Alien" & "Aliens" double feature reel "Coltmmando" film reel "Die Hoof" film reel "Death Notebook" anime (Neighponese animated) serial reels "Full Crystal Alchemist" anime serial reels "Seikrei" anime serial reels "Element Manipulation: Vol 4. Air" "Psychology of Dreams" "Old Pony Legends" Ponyville Library Card
You blink in stunned shock at all the stuff you currently posses,
"Dang, that is alot of stuff. Note to self: clean out the Inventory the next chance I get. Also, I got to remember to update my "spells and powers list" later, I haven't done that in awhile."
You put the Inventory back on, and are about to go back to thinking if you should fallow Twilight or not, when you suddenly think,
You know what, I should also check my potion sash too. You can never be too sure after all...
With that thought, you look at your Potion Sash (it's under your costume, so you had to life it up a little bit to look at it) and see...
"Yep, it's all here. I have so many explosives on this thing that I would blow up like a firework if someling hit me..."
A mental image of you blasting off into the air as a firework, then exploding into a billion pieces while all the ponies and creatures that hate you clap and whistle at your explosive death suddenly pops into your mind. You shake your head clear of the thought and think bitterly,
Luna, my thoughts have been either perverted or dark lately... Enough distractions! I need to focus on whether or not I should follow Twilight or not.
But before you can get to that, you suddenly think
Well this sucks. You thought you were rid of Luna, but now Twilight will probably befriend her and bring her back. If that happens, Luna might... Oh, buck me! you think. *GONG* What was that?! You had an idea, did you not? Your usual DING seemed inappropriate, considering the season. ...Never do that again. As you wish. So I take it you have some sort of plan? Huh? Oh, no plan. I just realized how many ponies Luna just scared. If she comes back, she'll break the record easily! ... You wait. ... ...What?
Well this sucks... Just when I thought I was rid of Luna, Twilight's probably gonna befriend her and bring her back. If that happens, Luna might- Oh, buck me-*GONG*
You recoil in shock at the mental gonging.
"What the buck was that?!"
You had an idea, did you not? Your usual DING seemed inappropriate, considering the season.
...Never do that again. you think deadpan-ly.
As you wish. So I take it you have some sort of plan?
Huh? Oh, no plan. I just realized how many ponies Luna just scared. If she comes back, she'll break the record easy!!!
...
What?
I can't let her have the record! That's MY revenge plan against the Pink Psycho and the Fillyfooler! I will not let her take that from me...but I also don't want to be grounded into paste. Oh... What do I do...?
Your thoughts are interrupted when you spot something shiny on the ground out of the corner of your eye. You lean over and see it's...
Bugzee could not decide about go help Luna or go and stay with the others, it's then that he find a bit in the floor "Okay... You want it? You got it Lady Luck... Sun I stay here, Moon I go with Twilight Sparkle" Bugzee throw the bit in the air and watch as it turn around in the air and when the coin is going to land in the floor a bird take it before it land. angry you try it again, only to lose 3 bits as some birds take them. "Damn Lady Luck, It's too hard to help me?" Shout Bugzee to the nothing
A 1-bit coin. It gives you an idea so you think,
Okay... You want it? You got it Lady Luck... Sun I stay here, Moon I go with Twilight Sparkle.
You flip the coin only for a bird to swoop in and steal the bit.
"Darn it Lady Luck, is it too hard to help me just once you sadistic idiot!? Oh well..."
You sigh as you take out another bit.
"At least lightning never strikes twice..."
SEVEN BITS LATER
"UGGHHHHHHHH!!!"
You shout in frustration (which sounds very threatening due to your voice changer) as the eighth bit you used got carried away by that same stupid bird (18 Bits remaining). You sigh in defeat as you think,
This is getting me nowhere! I need to think of something else... Like maybe...
You then decide to do something that you barely ever do... you use your brain!
You choose to employ your powers of rational thinking. Luna is the princess of the moon to which you've sworn your everlasting loyalty as a do-er of good. She has the power of a goddess, controls the moon, and is pretty good-looking. She also once was an evil supervillan who tried to plunge Equestria into eternal night and suggested that the government hang your daughter. Should you refuse and flee with nightshade, you face being tracked down by a being with the powers of a goddess and the resources of a princess. Should you attempt to befriend her, if she notices the presence of the DFV in your mind, you're dead buggy meat.
You put on your 'thinking face' as you begin to pace back and forth while mumbling,
"Let's see, Luna is the princess of the night and I've sworn my everlasting loyalty to be a do-gooder in her name, she has the power of a goddess, but hopefully isn't as annoying as most of them are *cough*Lady Luck*cough*, can control the moon, and is pretty good looking. I mean have you seen the way the moon reflects off her mane or how her flan-NO! BAD BUG!" *slap clang*
You slap yourself which causes you to hold you hoof in pain cause you forgot that you're wearing a metal helmet. After making sure that your perverted thoughts are gone and that you didn't break your hoof, you continue your pacing and mumbling.
"Buttttt, she was once an evil supervillain who was Tartarus-bent on sending the world into eternal night, which even I know is stupid because she would have eventually killed everypony due to the sun not giving off any heat or growing crops. They would have starved to death if they didn't freeze first."
You swear you hear the DFV mutter "It would have been glorious everlasting final nights", but you ignore her as you continue your rambling,
"What else... oh yeah, she suggested the gallows for MY daughter and she almost killed me and Nightshade back with that big ball of magical death. Thank you Doctor for the save there... then putting me in debt... causing this whole situation to happen- Okay moving on! If I don't follow them and just leave with Nightshade, I may be tracked down by another being who can smash my face in with only a tiny amount of magic and the resources of a princess."
You shiver at the mental image of that, before you continue,
"However, if I do follow them and befriend Luna, I'll risk her finding out about the DFV, which in turn will lead to a very unpleasant discussion involving a dark room and hours of watching My Little Human*shiver*."
You lift your front hooves up as you weigh your options,
"DFV found out... Luna hunts me down... Hours of watching My Little Human*shiver*... Never being able to sleep peacefully... Ah buck it, FOLLOW THAT UNICORN!"
And with the hope that Luna can't read your mind though your helmet, you trot-stomp after Twilight.
An enemy turned friend is much better than an enemy turned hunter... or something like that.
A FEW MINUTES LATER
As you're walking towards where you saw Twilight and Luna head off to, you decide to ask the DFV something,
"Yeah... Hey... Could you tell me if she have something like a weak point? something that could help me if I have to battle her?" Ask Bugzee "What? So now you want to battle? First you tell me to not damage and now you want to damage" Say NM "I hope I don't need to do that, but if I need to do to save Nightshade, I will do..." Say Bugzee "Bad Jokes" Mutter NM "Say... What?" Ask Bugzee "That is one of her weak points, at least when I was she... She cannot resist to laugh to bad jokes... the worst the joke is, she laugh even more" Comment NM
Yeah... Hey... Could you tell me if she have something like a weak point? Something that could help me if I have to battle her? If you do know anything that is
So now you wish to do battle? First you make me promise not to kill anypony and now you're-
I hope I don't need to do that, but if I need to do to save Nightshade, I will do...
Bad jokes...
Say... What? you think in confusion.
That is one of her weak points, at least when I was she... She cannot resist to laugh to bad jokes... the worse the joke is, the more she laughs.
You begin to smile goofy like as you say,
"Bad jokes huh... hehehe then I'm in the clear, my jokes are so bad they make a onion cry! Hehheheheh!"
That... that was terrible.
"I know right!"
You then see Twilight and Luna up ahead on a bridge. With enough bad jokes to kill twenty clowns and a mime, you head on over...
Following Twilight and Luna, you all meet up at a bridge over the river. Twilight chooses to start. "So, princess Luna," she says. "What are you doing here?" "We hoped to join in the festivities, young Twilight," the princess replies. "But it doth appear that we shan't be welcomed here." "The townsponies?" You scoff. "They just have a knack for melodrama. Don't worry about them." "We were also seeking one pony in particular," Luna says. "One who was having nightmares we believed we could aid him with. An individual by the name of Baker Sylvester Tennent." "B.S.T?" Twilight asks, surprised. "Really? Well why didn't you just ask, he's right-" "Would you kindly excuse us for a second, princess?" You ask. Your drill starts up, drawing stares from the mares. "Sorry, that just happens," you explain. "Could you excuse us?" You pull Twilight away before either can respond. "Listen," you tell her. "The princess and I have...erm...history, and it would be in my best interests if she didn't know I was here." "But-" "No buts," you tell twilight. "Go tell her to throw spiders at webs or something. I'm going to go hide."
"So, princess Luna," Twilight says as you arrive. "What are you doing here?"
"We hoped to join in the festivities, young Twilight," the princess replies. "But it doth appear that we shan't be welcomed here."
"The townsponies?" You scoff. "They just have a knack for melodrama. Don't worry about them."
"Are thy townsfolk really as... dramatic as you speak of?" Luna asks you.
"Lady, you could tell them the most harmless, fluffy, adorable thing in the entire universe would kill them all if they so much as looked at it, and they would be in their houses in a heart beat with doors locked and windows boarded."
"So it was you who told everypony that about that adorable spider I brought into town to study!" Twilight says to you accusingly.
"Hey! Spiders are very dangerous, with the fangs and venom."
"If it bit you, all it would have caused is a minor genetic mutation!"
"Minor genetic mutation my flank! Have you see Spider-Mane!"
"A-hem." Luna interrupts, "We were also seeking one pony in particular, One who was having nightmares we believed we could aid him with. An individual by the name of Baker Sylvester Tennent."
"B.S.T?" Twilight asks, surprised. "Really? Well why didn't you just ask, he's right-"
*whirl*
Your drill starts up, drawing stares from the mares.
"Sorry, that just happens," you explain. "Could you excuse us for a second princess?"
You pull Twilight away before either can respond.
"Listen," you tell her. "The princess and I have... erm... history, and it would be in my best interests if she didn't know I was here."
"But-"
"No buts," you tell Twilight. "Go tell her to throw spiders at webs or something. I'm going to go hide."
With that, you quickly leave as Twilight just sighs at your retreating form, along with a look of suspicion, but when she turns around, Luna is gone! She sighs as she goes after her, and you "silently" follow (your suit isn't exactly a ninja one-piece and the only reason Twilight doesn't turn around is because she's rolling her eyes at your antics),
It's in your best interest to keep on eye on her, if anything to make sure she gets out of town without finding you or Night Shade. You decide to stealthily follow Twilight...which doesn't work since you are a clamboring hunk of metal. Twilight: I can hear you you know? If you're gonna follow, just walk with me! You: Never! Then she'll get both of us at once! Now would you kindly forget I exist and keep moving? Twilight: Sigh You hide behind a skinny tree which in no way hides you, When Twilight gets to Luna, she is sitting sadly in the shadow of the Nightmare Moon statue You: Heh, Symbolism much? Luna starts using the RC voice talking about how Twilight freed her DFV: More like she attempted to murder your only friend you hussy! You: Yeesh, calm down You then hear Twilight telling her how she can help her change her ways to make her fit better into Ponyville You: Huh, and look, she's already accepting it, she didn't need to get threatened DFV: I said I'm trying... Twilight: I can take you to my friend Fluttershy, she can help you with speaking softly Luna: Very well then, we also wish to speak to a Mr. Baker Sylvester Tennant when we are given time, he is troubled by Nightmares and wished to speak to me about it. I received a letter from him yesterday You: How to the Buck did she get that letter?! DFV: The curse of Lady Luck of course You: Of Course... Twilight: Well actually, he's right over there (she points at your "hidden" form) You: TWILIGHT YOU TRAITOR!!! Twilight: But you wrote to her. Luna: PLEASE MR. TENNANT! I WISH TO HELP WITH YOUR PROBLEMS (RCV) You: YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!!! You then bash into the tree, setting it on fire in the process, as you run away. Luna: WAIT CITIZEN!!!
"I can hear you you know?" Twilight says, "If you're gonna follow, just walk with me!"
"Are you nuts! She'll get both of us at once! Now would you kindly forget I exist and keep moving?"
Twilight sighs in annoyance as you duck behind a skinny tree which in no way hides you. When Twilight gets to Luna, she is sitting sadly in the shadow of the Nightmare Moon statue.
Heh, Symbolism much? You snark in your mind.
More like she attempted to murder your only friend you weak strumpet! the DFV mutters as Luna starts using the RC voice while talking about how Twilight freed her.
Yeesh, calm down. Wait... how would you know what it felt like to be hit by those Elements of Rainbowness thingys?
Ugh, how dumb are you. I know how they felt because I'm N-
She gets interrupted when you shush her as you hear Twilight telling Luna,
"-that might explain why your appearance was met with... mixed results. I think if you just changed your approach a bit, you might be met with a warmer reception."
"Change our approach?" Luna asks in confusion.
"Lower the volume?"
"Ohhh. We have been locked away for a thousand years. We are... not sure we can, but we can try."
Huh, and look, she's already accepting it WITHOUT needing to get threatened with mutual suicide. You mentally point out.
I said I'm trying... the DFV... pouts?
"I can take you to my friend Fluttershy, she can help you with speaking softly"
"Very well then. We also wish to speak to a Mr. Baker Sylvester Tennant when we are given time."
*crack*She's still focused on that?! you mentally panic.
"He is troubled by Nightmares and wished to speak to us about it. We received a letter from him yesterday."
"How to the Buck did she get that letter?!" you say in out-loud panic.
The curse of Lady Luck of course
Of Course... you mentally grumble.
"Well actually, he's right over there." Twilight says as she points at hoof at your "hidden" form.
"TWILIGHT YOU TRAITOR!!!"
"But you wrote to her-"
"PLEASE MR. TENNANT! WE ONLY WISH TO HELP WITH THES PROBLEMS-"
"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!!!" you scream as you try to run away...
*crack foosh*
and bash through the tree (setting it on fire in the process) as you run away.
"WAIT, CITIZEN!!!" Luna calls after you with the Royal Canterlot Voice, but you're already long gone...
ONE "Heroic" RUN LATER
As you run away, you realize two things 1. You just set that tree on fire...does this suit have plasmids? and 2. They were going to head to Fluttershy's place! You haven't seen her all night, seeing as how she's afraid of EVERYTHING, but still everyone else is thinking Luna is Nightmare Moon, and she might die of a heart attack...Buck You start heading towards Fluttershy's place, as you try to see how to produce Plasmids You point your hoof at a tree and try to set it on fire, but it doesn't work, but you do feel a rush of wind leave your hoof...but that can be from the Element Bending you read about...still not that strong yet. You: Would you kindly release a plasmid? And you send lightning form your hooves You: OH BUCK YES!!! You then try out the others, from fire and ice and telekinesis, but not the bee one, that's way too creepy.
As you're catching your breath (running around in a suit of underwater armor really does a number on a bug) you realize something,
Wait... THEY"RE HEADING TO FLUTTERSHY'S PLACE!!! I haven't seen her all night and seeing how she's scared of everything, Luna might give her a heart attack... buck...
With that in mind, you start heading towards Fluttershy's place. On you're way there, you realize another thing,
Wait a minute... Did I set that tree on fire by smashing through it? How is that even possible? I only checked out the "Air" volume. And it was this costume- Wait. Do I have... plasmids?
You stop and point your gloved hoof at a tree and try to set it on fire, but it doesn't work. You swore you felt a tiny rush of wind in your gloves... but that could be from the Element Bending you read about... still not that strong yet so it could have just been the wind. Finally you say doubtfully,
"Would you... kindly release a plasmid-?"
Suddenly, the tree bursts into flames!
"What?!" you say as you recoil in shock, but then you smile insanely and try to test out lightning when an image of the word "Congratulations" in big bold letters pops up in front of you.
You jump back in shock, until you realize that it is on your 'hud' of your helmet. You look at it questionably, but before you can say anything a pony says,
Congratulations! You have discovered the secret function of this Subject Delta costume! You see, the glove of this costume are equipped with actual plasmids based on the game "BioShock"! You don't even need the full costume, just the gloves! Simply say "Would you kindly {Insert name of plasmid here} and you will gain that plasmid through it being injected into your system though the glove! However, this will only work with the glove on, and you can only have one plasmid on at a time. Simply say "Would you kindly switch to {plasimd name here}" to initiate the change. These gloves have three original plasmids in it; Incinerate!, Telekinesis, and Electro Bolt. But, there are other plsmids and vigors scattered around the world. Can you find them all?
You stare in shock for a moment, before you smile in geeky glee as you shout,
"BUCK YEAH! PLASMIDS AND VIGORS LOOK OUT, CAUSE I'M GONNA FIND YOU ALL!"
With that you decide to test out one of your new plasmids,
"Would you kindly release Electro Bolt!"
Your gloved hoof gets covered in electricity, and you smile in glee as you try it out but...
And find yourself with the power of lightning... You eagerly test it out... In a metal suit... Ouch.
"IDAKFFAKDFJAFJWETKMDDNEJFBSJNFLSJ!"
You end up electrocuting yourself. Apparently your metal Subject Delta conducts eclectically. So... Ow.
Now I know why Darth Invader can't use dark side lightning... You think as you get up with smoke rising form your body, but you don't care about the mental brain damage you probably just got, all you care about is that you have Luna motherbucking plasmids! You gleefully test out the rest of them as you head towards Fluttershy's place (you even get to get some revenge by hitting that bit-stealing bird in the head with an acorn thrown by your telekinesis and get your bits back! (*26 Bits remanining*)...
You catch up to them just as Pinkie Pie gasps. "NIGHTMARE MOON HAS STOLEN FLUTTERSHY'S VOICE!" You, Luna, and Twilight give a collective "Huh?" "EVERYPONY RUN!" The herd turns and flattens you as they run away.
As you approach Fluttershy's cottage you hear,
"NIGHTMARE MOON HAS STOLEN FLUTTERSHY'S VOICE! EVERYPONY RUN!!!"
"WHAT!?" you yell as you stop in confusion,
*trample*
But the next thing you know, you're run over by a stampeding squad of foals led by a big pink foal in a chicken outfit. Thankfuly, the armor protected you so you get back up and see...
When you get to Fluttershy's place, you see her limp body in Luna's joyous hooves and hear Pinkie screaming with the Kids You: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! I'LL SAVE YOU FLUTTERSHY!!! Fluttershy: OK
Luna holding Fluttershy's limp body in her hooves!
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! I'LL SAVE YOU FLUTTERSHY!!!" you yell, ignoring the Doctor's order as you charge in.
Fluttershy just looks at you and whimpers a "Ok" as you charge in front of Luna and before the Moon goddess can speak you roar...
What you are about to do is a cheap shot, but it must be done. You lift up the plushie knock-out Luna. She gasps. "It's beautiful!" "I know. I wish I didn't have to do this to you, Princess, but-WHAT?!" Luna levitates the plushie out of your grip and hugs it. "It's a lovely gift. Thank you, citizen!" Before you can say anything else, she magically pulls you into the hug as well. Hey! Explain! How?! I'm not the Doctor! Luna pulls away with an enormous smile on her face. "We must tell the townponies about this! Come, friend! With you at my side, they won't fear me as much!"
"Would you kindly TAKE THIS MOON BUTT!!!" and use you whisper the command for the Telekinesis. You then use it to grab the "Knock-out Luna Plushie" from the Inventory before throwing it into her face.
"Mr. Tennant! What are you doing?!" Twilight yells, but before you could respond,
"It's beautiful!" Luna gasps
"I know. I wish I didn't have to do this to you, Princess, but-WHAT?!" you say in disbelief.
Luna levitates the plushie off of her face and hugs it.
"It's a lovely gift. Thank you, citizen!"
Before you can say anything else, she magically pulls you into the hug as well.
While Luna is still slowly depriving you of air (hugging you) Twilight says while shielding her eyes form the plushie...
Twilight: Princess Luna, that doll has a sleep enchantment on it, don't look at it Luna: I know it does Ms. Sparkle, it causes those to gaze upon it to have pleasant dreams after troubling times...It's a representation of my duties...Thank you Mr. Tennant...(she puts it away) now about your Nightmares... You: Heh, well about that (you break the hug) LOOK A DISTRACTION (You point at Fluttershy who was trying to sneak back into her house) Fluttershy: EEEP! (falls back down) As you run away, Luna calls after you sadly Luna: Bu-But wait...I just want to help...(sad)
"Princess Luna, that doll has a sleep enchantment on it, don't look at it!"
"We know it does Ms. Sparkle, it causes those to gaze upon it to have pleasant dreams after troubling times... It's a representation of my duties... Thank you Mr. Tennant..."
Luna pulls away from the hug with an enormous smile on her face,
"We must tell the townponies about this! Come, friend! With you at my side, they won't fear me as much!"
Luna puts the plushie onto her back before continuing.
"Now about your Nightmares-"
"Heh, well about that..." you interrupt, "LOOK A DISTRACTION!!"
You shout this as you point at Fluttershy who was trying to sneak back into her house who promptly falls back down with an "EEEP!" while you run off while Luna and Twilight are distracted.
"Bu-But wait... I just want to help..." Luna calls after you sadly.
You run and hide under the small bridge to Fluttershy's cottage. When Twilight and Luna leave, you see the sad look on Luna's face and guiltily think,
Okay, maybe screaming at her when she was just trying to help wasn't the BEST idea...
You then go up to a still-on-the-ground Fluttershy to see if she's okay, but when she sees you she...
Go check on Fluttershy and see Luna holding a limp Fluttershy. Reluctantly follow the Doctor's orders before charging in, but Twilight and Luna leave before you reach "10". You then go check on Fluttershy who panics upon seeing a Big Daddy, but you take your helmet off to reassure her... and then you remember that you're currently a changeling underneath... QUICK! Claim that you're Mr. Tennant in a costume within a costume, make sure she's okay, and then run off.
"Oh... Bi-big... sc-scary... mo-monster!"
You protectively look around Fluttershy, drill whirling, and yell,
"AHHH! WHERE'S THE BIG SCARY MONSTER! I'LL MAKE HIM EAT HIS OWN FLAMING LIVER!!! MWAHAHAHA!!!"
Fluttershy points a shaky hoof at you causing you to point dumbly at yourself in response before saying,
"Oooooh, you mean my costume. It's okay, it's just me. B.S. Tennant."
"H-how... can... I-I be sure?" Fluttershy asks in fear.
"Here I'll take off my helmet." With that, you takes your helmet off.
"AHHHHHHhhhhhhh?" Fluttershy screams in fear that give way to confusion.
You look at her strangely before you realize what you just did and think in horror,
Oh shoot! I just showed Fluttershy that I'm a changeling! Gotta think of something fast. Come on, think, think... *ding* I got it!
Meanwhile, Fluttershy thinks, Wait a minute... A changeling with an orange spiky mane... It can't be-
"Calm down Fluttershy, I'm just wearing a costume within a costume. You know... costumeception!" you quickly blurt out as you help her back on her hooves "Yeah, that's it! Well..."
You put the helmet on before continuing,
"Happy Nightmare Night, I gotta bolt, See ya!"
And with that, you run off back to Ponyville. Fluttershy looks at your retreating form suspiciously
"Nightmare Night! What a fright! Give us Something sweet to bite!"
"EEEP!"
-before fainting again when startled by a filly in a butterfly costume.
BACK IN PONYVILLE
You run away back to town and find Night Shade playing bobbing for apples. In Town, Luna starts actually having fun, and loosening up around the towns folks You: Oh great, now she might come around for visits if she feels this welcome...curse you lady luck Night Shade: But she's having fun daddy, there's nothing wrong with that Thankfully the wonderful Pink Menace causes a riot when Luna saves the little Pirate.
When you arrive back where the games are, you find Nightshade playing 'bobbing for apples'. You also see Princess Luna lightening up and having fun causing you to mutter,
"Oh great, now she might come around for visits if she feels this welcome... curse you lady luck."
"Ut he waving fun ahdy" Nightshade mumbles with an apple in her mouth before she bites it and swallows it in one gulp and continues "There's nothing wrong with that." You smile at Nightshade as you ruffle her mane and say,
"Yeah... you're right sweetie-"
"Yes?" Sweetie Belle says.
"Not you." you and Nightshade say at the same time before you continue.
"She looks like she having a blast. And considering how I've been treating her, that's a good sign. I think I might go over and talk to he-Oh No..."
Nightshade looks at you curiously and asks,
"What Daddy?"
You watch as the Pink Psycho is about to cause a riot after Luna saved that pirate colt from the Apple bobbing in your area,
"Pinkie please don't do what I think your gonna do..."
ONE PINKIE DOING WHAT YOU THOUGHT SHE WAS GONNA DO LATER
You: OK, Ponies just seem to panic way too much around here Luna loses her temper, and then she cancels Nightmare Night... Night Shade: No more Nightmare Night? You: No more dressing up... Night Shade: No more free candy... DFV: Good, this holiday was a farce anyway You/Night Shade: NNNNOOOOOOO!!!!! As you start panicking, both you and Night Shade note Princess Luna walking away crying, and telling Twilight to leave her alone. She then looks at your Knock Out Plushie and throws it into the water sadly. Night Shade goes and retrieves it, as you walk back to town as many foals cry for the lost holiday You: Well this sucks... N: She looked so sad Daddy...and she saved Pip...why was everyone so mean to her? You: Because she deserves it, stupid free candy canceling witch... You don't notice her walking off You: Honey? Honey where are you? DFV: I TOLD YOU TO KEEP HER CLOSE! You: I was! She must’ve snuck off…she probably just went to catch up with her friends. DFV: MAKE SURE! BECAUSE IF THAT TRAITOROUS WHORSE FINDS HER, THEN YOUR ENTOURAGE OF MARES FROM THE SULTRY TWINS TO YOUR INCESTUOUS COUSIN WON’T BE ABLE TO DO A BUCKING THING WITH YOU BECAUSE I WILL CASTRATE YOU! You: Gulp. I’m on it. Oh please oh please let her be with her friends…
Yup. Pinkie made the foals run away again causing Luna to try to overcompensate by bringing the plastic throwing spiders to life and now ponies are starting to panic and run around in mindless fear.
"HOLY MOTHER OF YOU! YOU BROUGHT THEM TO LIFE!" you scream in panic.
"Aw, but they're so cu-"
Nightshade tries to pet a spider, but it snaps at her so she yelps and jumps on your back in fright.
"NOT CUTE! NOT CUTE! THEY'RE NOT EVEN NATURAL!!!"
*snap*
"Would you kindly GET THE BUCK OFFA ME!!!" You scream as you use telekinesis (still active form when you used it at Fluttershy's) and the drill to throw and smack away spiders (and knock out the occasional pony when he runs straight into your flailing drill)
"BE STILL!!!" Luna roars as lightning crackles causing everypony to bow down in fear... everypony except for you who's still standing with Nightshade on your back and your porthole glowing orange.
"D-Daddy... What's happening?" Nightshade asks in fear, but before you could respond, Luna roars,
"SINCE YOU CHOOSE TO FEAR YOUR PRINCESS RATHER THAN LOVE HER, AND DISHONOR HER WITH THIS INSULTING CELEBRATION, WE DECREE THAT NIGHTMARE NIGHT SHALL BE CANCELLED! FOREVER!"
You and Nightshade's eyes widen at that.
"No more Nightmare Night?" Nightshade says.
"No more dressing up..." you say.
"No more free candy..." Nightshade says
Good. This holiday was a farce anyway-
"NNNNOOOOOOO!!!!!" you and Nightshade scream.
As you start panicking, Princess Luna walks away weeping, and telling Twilight to leave her alone. She then holds up and looks at your Knock-Out Plushie and throws it into the water in sorrowful anger. Nightshade goes and retrieves it, as you walk back to town as many foals cry for the lost holiday.
"Well this bucking sucks..." you comment.
"She looked so sad Daddy... and she saved Pip... why was everypony so mean to her?"
"Because she deserves it, stupid foal-lynching, free candy-canceling witch..."
During your insulting of Luna, you don't notice Nightshade wandering off.
"Honey? Honey where are you?" you ask in concern
I TOLD YOU TO KEEP HER CLOSE!!!
"I was! She must’ve snuck off... she probably just went to catch up with her friends."
MAKE SURE! BECAUSE IF THAT TRAITOROUS WHORSE FINDS HER, THEN YOUR ENTOURAGE OF MARES FROM THE SULTRY TWINS TO YOUR INCESTUOUS COUSIN WON’T BE ABLE TO DO A BUCKING THING WITH YOU BECAUSE I WILL CASTRATE YOU!!!
*Gulp* "I'm on it. Oh please oh please let her be with her friends…"
POV change: Nightshade
I know Daddy said Luna was a mean pony who I should stay away form, but she looked so sad... like Daddy did when that mean old Ursa smashed... her... cart. I just need to cheer her up! That's what Daddy would do!
And with that, Nightshade goes after Luna... To cheer up the night.
What do you do?
Episode 34: Cheering Up The Night! (Nightmare Night Part 4)
OK Nightshade, your plan is two fold, cheer up the poor depressed pony everyone was mean to, and bring back Nightmare Night. N: This isn't going to be my first an only one, I don't even get to eat my candy this year. I have to give it to charity...Well, charity is helping others (Ding) I've got the greatest idea ever!
As Nightshade walks over to where Luna went, she thinks,
Okay Nightshade, your plan is two-part; cheer up the depressed pony everypony was mean to and bring back Nightmare Night. This is my first Nightmare Night and it's sure as buck not gonna be me last! Even if I have to donate all my candy... Well, charity is helping oth- *ding* I've got the greatest idea ever!
Nightshade smiles at her idea and continues to walk to where Luna is and starts to approach her when...
realize mummies are just really old and well preserved zombies, and then trip on a rock and face plant in front of Luna, before realizing that daddys luck is starting to rub off on you.
Then wonder why lady luck hates you both.
She trips on a rock and falls on her face just a few feet from Luna.
"Buck you lady luck..." Nightshade mutters (like father, like daughter)
Nightshade looks up at Luna, waiting for her response to her tripping incident, but it appears Luna didn't notice her fall as she just stares off into space with a sad expression. Nightshade gets off the ground and looks at Luna in confusion as she thinks,
Huh... how the buck did she not see that?! I fell right in front of her! Oh well, time to engage "Operation: Cheer up the Night"! Now to begin phase one, doing what Daddy does to make mares happy! And why does Lady Luck hate me and Daddy so munch?
With that thought in mind, Nightshade approaches Princess Luna...
N: Here goes nothing…Pr-Princess Luna? She turns around and she really doesn’t look scary at all, in fact she looks miserable. She wipes away her tears and tries to put on a brave face. N: Hello, I am… L: A mummified pony from Anugypt, although the bandages don’t appear to be authentic N: Ya, my daddy doesn’t have all that much money for the good stuff heh heh
"*gulp* Here goes nothing… Pr-Princess Luna?" Nightshade says,
Luna turns around, wiping away tears, and tries to put on a brave face as Nightshade continues.
"Hello, I am…"
"A mummified pony from Anugypt," Luna interrupts, "Although the bandages don’t appear to be authentic."
"Yeah, my daddy doesn't have all that much money for the good stuff heh heh..." Nightshade chuckles nervously...
"Um, Princess Luna? Could you make my nose bleed?" "I beg your pardon, child?" "Well, it's just that when my Daddy gets a nose bleed, the mare he was talking to giggles." Luna blushes. "It is perfectly acceptable for you not to have a nose bleed right now." "Oh. Okay." Nightshaded hmmphs and sits down. Well that didn't work. So how would Daddy cheer up a princess? Deep within her mind, an instictive memory surfaces. She doesn't remember ever seeing this, but it feels right. Nightshade jumps on Luna's back. "My name is Nightshade!" Luna looks up at her. "What?" "And I am here to say!" (Please don't) I'm gonna make you smile And I will brighten up your... uh, night! Nightshade jumps off and does cartwheels around her. Cause I want to make you- "WHOA!" One of her hooves gets caught in her bandages, and she falls to the ground. Luna snerks. Nightshade smiles and points a hoof at her. "I'll take it!"
"Anyway, um... Princess Luna? Could you make my nose bleed?"
"I beg your pardon, child?" Luna replies in shocked confusion.
"Well, it's just that when my Daddy gets a nosebleed, the mare he was talking to giggles."
Luna blushes, "It is perfectly acceptable for you not to have a nose bleed right now."
Deep within her mind, an instinctive memory surfaces. She doesn't remember ever seeing this, but it feels right. Acting on the memory, she jumps on jumps on Luna's back.
"My name is Nightshade!"
Luna looks up at her in confusion.
"What?"
"And I am here to say!" ("Please don't...") "I'm gonna make you smile" "And I will brighten up your... uh, night!"
Nightshade jumps off Luna and start doing cartwheels around her.
"Cause I want to make you-*trip* "WHOA!"
One of her hooves gets caught in her bandages, and she faceplants into the ground.
"Snrk..." Luna attempts to hold back a laugh.
Nightshade points a hoof at Princess Luna declaring.
"I'll take it!"
And bounces back to her hooves in excitement and looks towards Luna to see her smirking face...
-only to see her once again sad and depressed and facing away from her. Nightshade does a double take as she thinks,
What the!? But she was snrking a second ago! How did she go form snrrking to all sad-like so soon!? Oh well, time to initiate phase two, Scare her into happiness!
And with that thought, Nightshade puts phase two of her plan into action by...
"Princess no like Nightmare Night? Then show her why like Nightmare Night!" And what better way than to scare the livings daylight out off her! ...You still don't quite understand what that expression meant. Okay, first things first, how do you scare the Mare who this holiday was based off of? Hmm. Ah! Loud noises! Kick something that makes big sounds! Tiptoeing, you placed a metal trash can right next to her (how you could be so quiet doing so, that's up to your discretion). You heaved you haunches, and catapulted you kicking leg, performing a standing-still "Falcon Kick". ...she didn't hear you. New plan!
Princess no like Nightmare Night? Then I show her why like Nightmare Night! And what better way than to scare the livings daylight out off her...! I still have no idea what that expression means! Nightshade thinks before she continues,
Okay, first things first; how do you scare the Mare who this holiday was based off of? Hmm. Ah! Loud noises! Kick something that makes big sounds!
Tiptoeing, Nightshade places a metal trash can right next to Luna (don't ask how she managed to be so stealthy with a trash can... Or where she even got a trash can on such short notice). Nightshade then gets on her rear legs and does standing-still "Falcon Kick", sending a flaming hoof smashing into the metal can which sends it flying off into the distance.
IN THE DISTANCE
Caramel is running back to his house,
"Oh shoot! How could I have forgotten tonight was Nightmare Night! Oh... Sassaflash will be so upset with me if I don't have my cos- *CLANG*"
And gets smashed in the head with a trash can from the heavens.
BACK TO NIGHTSHADE AT LUNA
Nightshade looks back at Luna and... she didn't hear it. Nightshade moves her hoof in a 'drat!' motion as she thinks,
Horseapples! Okay Nightshade think, what would Daddy do... *ding* I got it! I'll do the opposite for what Daddy does, I'll talk to the pony who's sad who been mean to him! Maybe that'll work instead of having an awesome fighting scene!
Nightshade nods at her plan, and clears her throat as she takes action...
L: … are…are you not fearful of me child? N: Not really, living here I’ve seen real monsters. Just yesterday I got chased by a Hydra L: Ah yes, my sister read that report from her student, you must be Night Shade then N: Wow, right on the money L: If that is the case, then perhaps you should leave, I hear your father has quite the temper, and who knows what he’ll do with you in the presence of a “foal eater” (said in sadness) N: B-But you don’t eat foals, do you? L: Of course not…but everypony thinks I do. Even when I was her (pointing towards statue) We never did such things…though perhaps this is my karmic punishment, to be feared by children N: Well I don’t think of you that way. Here (Hands her bag of candy) you could use these more than I could. L: Modern day sweets…I truly do enjoy these…but still child, I don’t deserve your kindness… N: Why do you think that? L: I may not eat foals…but I did threaten one…and in doing so, I created the most destructive foe Equestria has seen in eons. N: The Hooded Offender? Looks at Statue L: I came back as a monster, but I was shed of her, shed of her hatred and poison…able to be with my sister again. But soon after that, the changelings invaded Canterlot, and I slept through it…I was still weakened yes, but I could’ve done something. And then a Changeling with a young filly appeared…a Filly that looked too much like a monster I had known for ages…and I panicked. N: Gulp L: I swore I sensed HER presence, I thought she was there to take me back, to make me a monster once again, and I wanted to avoid that at all costs…but I see my mistake now. N: Mistake? L: Even if she had the appearance of HER, she wasn’t. My sister knew this, she scolded me for my fear, because she was just a little filly. A little filly who cried out for her father. A Father with immense power. Any parent would react as he did. And now he continues to spread disorder because of his hatred for us…and it is justified. N: …would…would you ever hurt that filly if you saw her again? L:… No. I don’t want to hurt children (tears in her eyes) I never could…even if she was the reincarnation of HER, I wouldn’t be able to bring myself to do it…I wouldn’t be able to live with myself, before I was panicked, scared…I…gasp Night Shade hugs Princess Luna who hugs back. N: We all get scared sometimes, it’s OK, you’re not a bad pony. L: (Hugs back) Thank you child…thank you for listening…thank you for caring N: and besides, sometimes it's fun being scared, having fun with your fears lessons their actual impact. Please don't think everyone hates you, Nightmare Night is fun L: You are right child...perhaps I was to hasty in my decisions...like usual...(sigh) but thank you (hugs Nightshade tighter) Nightshade, for some reason, when you are in her grasp, you feel...immense comfort, like when daddy hugs you. It's like she's familiar to you, like family even though you've only just now done this. It's a good feeling, but maybe you should ask Daddy about it later. Twilight: Daaawwwww (Sniff) Night Shade and Luna Look up Twilight: That was beautiful…(she blows her nose into a handkerchief) I couldn't have said any of that better myself. Night Shade, Princess Luna, please come back to Ponyville with me, others have to see this…especially…
"Uh... Princess Luna?"
Luna turns around and says,
"Oh... You're still here. Are…are you not fearful of us child?"
"Not really, living here I've seen real monsters. Just yesterday I got chased by a Hydra." Nightshade says matter-of-factly.
"Ah yes, my sister read that report from her student, you must be Nightshade then."
"Wow, right on the money."
"If that is the case, then perhaps you should leave, I hear your father has quite the temper, and who knows what he’ll do with you in the presence of a “foal eater”. Luna says sadly. "B-But you don’t eat foals, do you?" Nightshade asks nervously.
"Of course not… but everypony thinks we do. Even when we were her," Luna gestures towards the Nightmare Moon statue before continuing, "We never did such things… though perhaps this is my karmic punishment, to be feared by children..."
"Well I don’t think of you that way. Here," Nightshade hoofs Luna her bag of candy, "you could use these more than I could."
"Modern day sweets… we truly do enjoy these…but still child, we don’t deserve your kindness…"
"Why do you think that?"
"I may not eat foals, but I did threaten one… and in doing so, I created the most destructive foe Equestria has seen in eons..."
"The Hooded Offender?" Nightshade asks cautiously.
Luna looks at the Statue in regret as she continues.
"We... I came back as a monster, but I was shed of her, shed of her hatred and poison, able to be with my sister again. But soon after that, the changelings invaded Canterlot and I slept through it…I was still weakened, yes, but I could have done something. And then a Changeling with a young filly appeared. A Filly that looked too much like a monster I had known for ages. And I panicked..."
"Gulp." Nightshade gulps in fear as Luna continues,
"I swore I sensed her presence, I thought she was there to take me back, to make me a monster once again, and I wanted to avoid that at all costs… but I see my mistake now."
"Mistake?"
"Even if she had the appearance of her, she wasn't. My sister knew this. She scolded me for my fear because she was just a little filly. A frightened little filly who cried out for her father. A Father with immense power. Any parent would react as he did and now he continues to spread destruction and disorder because of his hatred for us… and it is all my fault."
"…Would… would you ever hurt that filly if you saw her again?" Nightshade asks nervously.
"No... I don’t want to hurt children, " Luna says with tears starting to form in her eyes, "I never could… even if she was the reincarnation of HER, I wouldn't be able to bring myself to do it… I wouldn't be able to live with myself, before I was panicked, scared… I… *gasp*"
Nightshade suddenly hugs Princess Luna who is frozen in shock for a few moments before hugging back.
"We all get scared sometimes, it’s OK, you’re not a bad pony."
"Thank you child…thank you for listening… thank you for caring." Luna says as she hugs back with tears of happiness beginning to stream down her face.
"And besides, sometimes it's fun being scared, having fun with your fears lessens their actual impact. Please don't think everyone hates you, Nightmare Night is fun!"
"You are right child... perhaps we were to hasty in our decisions... as usual..."
Luna sighs before continuing,
"but thank you." She says as she hugs Nightshade tighter.
Why does this feel so... comfortable? It's like when Daddy hugs me. And Princess Luna feels really familiar, even though I've just met her. Still... it feels really nice, I'll just ask Daddy later... Nightshade thinks.
"*Sniff*"
Night Shade and Luna look up from their hug and see Twilight wiping her eyes with her beard.
"That was beautiful…" She blows her nose into a handkerchief before continuing, "I couldn't have said any of that better myself Nightshade. Princess Luna, please come back to Ponyville with me, others have to see this… especially-"
Luna looks up startled, Nightshade's eyes widen, and Twilight gulps as she says,
"Oh no..."
She slowly turns around (as Luna and Nightshade turn their heads more quickly towards the sound) and sees a figure with an orange glowing light...
MMMOOOOOAAAAANNNN!!!! They see you with your red glowing eye port Bugze: WOULD YOU KINDLY GET YOUR FILTHY HOOVES OFF MY DAUGHTER!!! Twilight: Tennant Wait! Luna: SIR PLEASE!!! You: MMMMMMOOOOOOOAAAAAANNNNNN!!!!! (CHARGING)
Bugze goes after Luna, thinking that if Nightshade's not there she's safe, and sees Luna standing above nightshade... *snap*
POV CHANGE: YOU (THE VERY ANGRY BUGZE)
*snap*
You interrupt Sparkle Butt as you see Luna holding YOUR daughter. Thinking that she's trying to harm Nightshade again, your big daddy instinct kicks in and you give a loud roaring moan before you charge in screaming,
"Would you kindly, GET YOUR BUCKING HOOVES OFF MY DAUGHTER!!!"
What do you do?
Episode 35: Into The Mind!!! (Nightmare Night Part 5)
Bugzee charge to Luna with the drill but is stopped suddenly with Luna magic "Stop yourself... Why you insist in fighting me?" Ask Luna "I will not let you damage my daughter.... MOOOOOOAAAAAAAN" Shouted Bugzee in the air "Let me explain..." Say Luna "Never... Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted" Say Bugzee Just then, Luna begin to laugh and lose her concentration, as Bugzee land in the floor "Falcoon Punch!" Shout Bugzee as he try to use the move with Luna "Daddy... Wait!!!" Shout Nightshade as she put in the middle of the way between Bugzee and Luna, forcing Bugzee to stop "You... Monster!! I leave her alone five minutes and you brainwashed her against me! How could you think of do that to a poor filly?" Ask Bugzee "Daddy, no... Im not brainwashed... I only leave because she was sad and wanted to comfort her" Say Nightshade "Yeah, of course... Every brainwashed zombie say the same... Return to your senses!!" Shout Bugzee Nightshade and Twilight make a facehoof
You charge straight at Luna, drill whirling, but you're suddenly stopped by a field of magic around you,
"Stop yourself... Why you insist in fighting us?" Luna asks, horn glowing as she uses her magic to hold you in place.
"I'm not letting you hurt my daughter!" you shout
"Let me explain-" Say Luna
"Never! Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted" you counter
As planned, the terrible joke causes Luna to laugh and lose concentration allowing you to break out of the magic field and charge straight at her.
"Falcon Punch!" you shout as your flame-encased hoof heads towards Luna's face.
"Daddy... Wait!!!" Shouts Nightshade as she runs in front of Luna forcing you to stop your punch just inches from your daughter.
"You monster!!" You yell at Luna "I leave her alone five minutes and you brainwashed her against me! How could you think of do that to a poor filly?" you say in anger.
"Daddy, no... I'm not brainwashed... I only left because she was sad and wanted to comfort her." Nightshade says.
"Yeah, of course... Spoken like every zombie..." You snort.
Nightshade and Twilight facehoof, but you're suddenly forced to jump back in surprise when a nearby rock is thrown at you.
You look around in surprise before seeing Luna walking in front of Nightshade and giving you a heated glare as she says,
"We do not wish to cause you harm Mister Tennant, but if thou continues to try and cause us harm, then-" her horn lights up dangerously as she says "We will be forced to incline on thous wishes."
You just growl in anger as you charge at her in rage while screaming...
...Commence yelling. "Raaaaaaaauuuuuuuuhhhhh!" Bugze charged, and in surprise to the sudden yelling, two mageborn set their horns ablazed and yelled as well. "Ahhhhh!" "-uuuuuuuuuhhhhh!" With the Big Daddy closing the distance, the two mares charged a spell, readying for the worst. "Ahhhh!" "-uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhh— Agh!" "Aahhhh...?" The two stopped their yelling when the worst was delayed. >> rainbowPOOTIS ...by the tripping of a rock. Bugze, clad in heavy, metal costume, landed with a flinching thud. Quickly standing back up in frustration, he charged back into the fray, yelling again. ...we don't know why he's still yelling. But for some reason, this time, he channeled his inner Opera Singer. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaah~!" he, er, well, sanged. The ladies could only stare in bafflement at the tone shift. He must've twanged his voice box in the costume after the fall.
proceed to trip on the same rock nightshade tripped on, and faceplant in front of luna, totally ruining any chance of looking intimidating.
"Raaaaaaaauuuuuuuuhhhhh!"
With the Big Daddy closing the distance, Luna charges a spell, readying for the worst.
"-uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhh—*trip* Agh! *thud*"
And the worst was delayed by you tripping over a rock and you in your heavy, metal costume, landed with a flinching thud. Quickly standing back up in frustration, you charge back into the fray, yelling again... but sounding like an Opera singer,
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaah?!" you, er, well, sang as you stopped charging in confusion and the mares could only stare in bafflement at the tone shift.
Well, that's probably the strangest yelling I've ever done. Why was my voice an opera singer's anyway? Maybe it was my voice box agai-FOCUS BUG! Save Nightshade now, fix voice box later.
With that thought in mind, you glare at Luna again and...
You rush towards Luna, hatred flowing through you like a river. Your drill is encased in fire as it spins and you intend to spear that foal killing monster. You: MMMMOOOOOAAAANNNNN!!!!! Twilight: Tennant, stop! Luna: Sir Please! N: DADDY NO! You ignore all of them as you charge forth, but then the DFV gets your attention DFV: What are you doing? You will kill her with that drill spinning! You: Who gives a Buck?! She's got NightShade! DFV: YOU DO NOT LECTURE AND THREATEN ME ON THE IMPORTANCE OF LIFE PRESERVATION AND THEN DO THIS YOU BUCKING HYPOCRITE!!! (very pissed off) You: Fine, would you kindly stop spinning? The drill stops, but it is still covered in fire You: I'm still gonna beat her senseless though DFV: Good! You are stopped by a blue and purple aura shield put up by both Luna and Twilight, you start bashing on it in anger You: MMMOOOOAAANNNN!!! Luna: Your daughter is in no danger Sir Tennant! Twilight: They're actually getting along, don't ruin this! N: I'm fine Daddy! See (shows herself) Everything is alright, Just Stop! You: YOU'VE BRAINWASHED MY DAUGHTER AND TURNED HER AGAINST ME YOU WITCH!!! Luna/Twilight/Nightshade: WHAT? Twilight: That's ridiculous why would.... Luna: I HAVE DONE NO SUCH THING! Night Shade: No she didn't Daddy! You: LIARS!!! You then send an electro bolt through their magic and into both Twilight and Luna, giving them a good zap, and yourself included, as the magic field drops. HUD: Congratulations, you've discovered our plasmids greatest strength, not even magic can hold them back. Take the fight to the magically over powered! You: OK, seriously, who the heck designed this suit? Then again I did buy it in that strange Chineighse trinket shop... N: DADDY!!! STOP IT!!! (she says in anger with tears in her eyes) You: Night Shade, Get in your Room! I'll handle this! N: NO! (Stands in front of Princess Luna protectively) You: Night Shade... N: I SAID NO! Twilight: Listen to her Tennant, stop before you go too far. Striking the Princess is grounds for treason Luna: Please citizen...don't force my hooves to do something we'll all regret SNAP You: She's protecting her...the one who wanted her dead....GRRRRRRRRR You: MOOOOAAAAANNNNN!!!! You charge right at Luna, even as Night Shade stands her ground. Luna starts to charge her horn and you ready your ice plasmid, when all of a sudden a giant rock pillar comes out of the ground and strikes you in the gut, throwing you backwards You: Ooommph! What the... N: DADDY!!! (ANGRY) You look up and see your very pissed of daughter, gritting her teeth in anger, as...HER EYES GLOW ORANGE. N: I SAID STOP IT!!! She strikes the ground and another pillar comes from underneath and throws you backwards. N: STOP BEING SO ANGRY!!! She stomps and your drill hoof is encased in stone and trapped N: STOP HURTING OTHERS!!! She encases your other hoof as you are trapped on the ground you look up and see her with her growing orange eyes lift up a boulder. N: STOP RUINING EVERYTHING!!!! (She screams that last one in utter frustration and anger) She then hurtles the boulder right at you In shock, before it hits, the only thing you say is You: Night Shade?... Then everything goes black.
You rush towards Luna, hatred flowing through you like a river. Your drill whirls at full power as you charge in with full intent to spear that foal killing monster.
You ignore all of them as you charge forth, but then the DFV gets your attention.
What are you doing? You will kill her with that drill!
Who gives a Buck?! She's got NightShade!
Although I would like nothing more than to see the broken body of the weak traitor lying before me YOU DO NOT LECTURE AND THREATEN ME ON THE IMPORTANCE OF LIFE PRESERVATION AND THEN DO THIS YOU BUCKING HYPOCRITE!!! she yells in anger
"Fine, would you kindly stop spinning?" you say causing the drill to stop.
I'm still gonna beat her senseless though.
Good!
You continue your charge, but suddenly run into a blue and purple magic shield put up by both Luna and Twilight.
"MMMOOOOAAANNNN!!!" you yell as you start banging on the shield in anger.
"Your daughter is in no danger Sir Tennant!" Luna says.
"I'm fine Daddy! See! Everything is alright, Just Stop!"
"AND LIKE I SAID BEFORE, YOU BRAINWASHED HER YA WITCH!" you yell as you continue banging on the magic shield
"WHAT?" Luna, Twilight, and Nightshade yell at the same time.Twilight then says,
"That's ridiculous why would..."
"YOU'RE ONE TO TALK YA HYPOCRITE!!!" you shout causing Twilight to look at you in confusion and shock, but Luna interrupts her
"AS WE HAVE SAID, WE HAVE DONE NO SUCH THING!!"
"She's right, she didn't Daddy!"
"Would you kindly EAT ELECTRIC PAIN YA LIARS!!!"
With that, you then send an Electro Bolt through their magic shield and into both Twilight and Luna, causing them to cry out in pain as it gives them (and yourself due to the fact that you're still wearing metal armor) a good zap causing the magic field to drop. Suddenly a message appears on your helmet.
Congratulations, you've discovered our plasmid's greatest strength, not even magic can hold them back! Take the fight to the magically overpowered!
"OK, seriously, who the heck designed this suit? Then again I did buy it in that strange foreign trinket shop..."
"DADDY!!! STOP IT!!!" Nightshade yells with tears in her eyes.
"Nightshade, Get in your Room! I'll handle this!" You say as you switch to the "Incinerate!" plasmid.
"NO!" Nightshade screams as she stands in front of the downed Princess Luna protectively.
"Nightshade-"
"I SAID NO!"
"Listen to her Tennant," Twilight says as she gets back up, "Please stop before you go too far. Assaulting a Princess is grounds for treason."
"Please citizen... don't force our hooves to do something we'll all regret."
You freeze as you think in anger,
She's protecting her... the one who wanted her dead... GRRRRRRRRR
With hints of the Nightmare Cloak starting to appear, you charge right at Luna in a rage, even as Nightshade stands her ground. Luna starts to charge her horn and you ready your fire plasmid, when all of a sudden a giant rock pillar comes out of the ground and smashes you in the gut, throwing you back, sending you rolling.
"Ooommph! What the..."
"DADDY!!!" you hear Nightshade's voice scream in anger.
You look up and see your very angry of daughter, gritting her teeth in rage, as... HER EYES GLOW A BRIGHT WHITE!!! You look at her in shock and worry as you think,
What the... no no no no! Please Lady Luck, if you have any pity in your heart, don't let Nightshade have my burden, please! I'm begging you!
"I SAID STOP IT!!!" Nightshade screams as she drives a hoof into the ground and forward causing another pillar to rise from underneath you.
"Ahhhhhhh-oof! Ow OW OW OW MY LEG!" you yell as you bounce off the ground and smash into a tree.
"STOP BEING SO ANGRY!!!"
She raises a hoof in a sweeping motion causing a mound of earth to rise out of the ground and trap your drill arm.
"That... that's not good." you say in worry, "Calm down sweetie!"
"STOP HURTING OTHERS!!!"
She raises another hoof in a sweeping motion, encasing your other hoof and trapping you. You look up and see her with her growing white eyes lift up a boulder.
"That... that's even worse... Good job on the earth-bending honey! Now put down the me-squishing boulder before-"
With a yell, she hurls the boulder right at you. As time seems to slow down, the only thing you can say in shock is
"Nightshade..."
*SMASH*
Then everything goes black.
Inside the dreamscape you wonder briefly if you are Dead because everything is just black, and you are still in your Subject Delta costume. You: Killed by my own daughter huh? Was this your ultimate plan Lady Luck? You Bucking Cruel Bitch!...She looked so angry though... But now that you think about it, you don't really feel dead, in fact you feel hungry. The minute you realize this, you see sweets everywhere just floating about You: OK, so either dead, drugged, or dreaming...or all three.
When you open your eyes again, you appear to be floating in an expansive blank space with your Subject Delta costume still on.
Killed by my own daughter huh? Was this your ultimate plan Lady Luck you cruel motherbucking strumpet? She looked so angry though...
Upon further floating, you realize that you don't really feel dead. In fact, you actually feel hungry and as you think that candy starts to float everywhere,
OK, so I'm either dead, drugged, or dreaming... or all three at once.
As you continue to float around, you can't help but ask,
"I wonder if they have any food around here besides candy... not that I mind at least."
As if saying that triggered something...
Suddenly, pineapples
*splat*
A pineapple is thrown at your face. You float back in confusion as you think,
What the? Where'd that pineapple come from?
You wipe off the pineapple juice from your helmet-
*splat*
-only for another pineapple to smash against your helmet. You grumble in annoyance as you think,
Again!? Where are they coming from?
You try to wipe off the pineapple again, only for another pineapple to hit you in the face! You start to grumble in annoyance at this, but just wipe it off. Suddenly, a billion pineapples are launched at you! You can only stare in horror as the wave of pineapples comes towards you, and there's only one thing you can think of in this moment...
Buck you lady lu-
Your usual cursing of Lady luck is interrupted by the pineapple barrage. As you're buried by the billions of pineapples, you can't help but think,
I should have know asking for anything would cause something like this to happen...
Suddenly, all the pineapples *poof* away! You look around in confusion trying to figure out where they went, when you hear...
"Ahem."
You look over to where you heard the voice and then look at in horror as you see...
Then have Admiral Tiger Claw's Comment happen >>5237090
I completely agree that have Admiral Tigerclaw's comment happen that would be the best
Liking that dreamscape option Brown dog rolled out. It easily blends into a Scooby Do disguise gag.
DFV/NMM: Quick! Hide me! YOU: What- but, what's goin- Who are- D-NMM: Who do you THINK it is?! YOU: You're- But you sound like DFV. D-NMM: I AM DFV you nitwit! YOU: What? But you look like nightmare moon! The REAL nightmare moon. *Nmm dead-pauses in her near panic.* D-NMM: [Incredulous] You can't be serious. You mean even after all our talks today- after everything that's happened to us... You STILL haven't figured it out? YOU: Uh... Figured what out? D-NMM: You're serious... You're actually serious. You have no idea who I am.... YOU: Well, who are you? D-NMM: Idiotic foal! I AM NIGHTMARE MOON! BRINGER OF DARKNESS! THE RIGHTFUL RULER OF THE NIGHT! YOU: But you just said- D-NMM: I KNOW WHAT I JUST SAID! USE YOUR BRAIN FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE! YOU: [backs up slightly] OKAY! Fine! Sheesh... You're DFV, but you say you're Nightmare Moon... which means... *Tick, tick, tick.... RIIIIIING* YOU: *Slow revelation* Wait... You're DFV, AND Nightmare Moon? D-NMM: Getting warm... YOU: Which means that DFV and Nightmare Moon are one in the same. D-NMM: Warmer... YOU: Which means all this time I've been talking to- D-NMM: Pretty hot. YOU: That Nightmare Moon has been inside my head- D-NMM: Scorching on Celestia's blasted sun... YOU: Wait... I'VE BEEN HOST TO NIGHTMARE MOON ALL THIS TIME?! D-NMM: *Eyeroll* NO SHIT SHERCLOP! And since you're apparently having trouble getting your neurons to fire in any sort of timely manner, I'll just finish that thought for you! YES! I've been stuck in your head for a while now! Not that I can do much from here since you sealed me off at the Gala. YES, it was my power that allowed you to trash the place. YES, this means that now Luna has DOUBLE the reason to murder you if she discovers me... which, incidently, will be any minute now if we don't figure out some way to hide me! Also, yes, you really should be telling yourself 'BAD BUG' for those thoughts you just had about my flanks! I'm in your head! I know EVERYTHING YOU THINK! YOU: *Shakes off some mental drooling* Okay okay okay, we'll discuss you later. Um... Can Luna even hurt us inside my head? NMM: The dream realm is her domain, she could destroy your mind and render you an inert vegetable if she so saw fit! YOU: NOT GOOD FOR ME! NMM: You're also unconscious from bludgeoning and a knockout spell, she's not. Even if she couldn't hurt you here, all she has to do is return to the waking world and throttle us where you lay! YOU: *eep!* ALSO NOT GOOD FOR ME! NMM: We're still inside your mind though, so we should be okay if you can think of something. YOU: *Pause...* Oh... Well that's not good either. NMM: Indeed. You're not exactly the brightest- YOU: No, actually I mean some of the thoughts I have... Have you SEEN what goes through my mind? NMM: *Opens mouth to say something, stops, wilts where she stands.* I rather wish I could answer 'no' to that question. But I happen to LIVE here right now. You recently marathon'd several monster movies and even I would rather not speak of the horrors of those Xeno-things as your mind depicts them. YOU: Yeah. This head of mine is a scary place... Sorry about that by the way. NMM: Apology accepted, now think of something before we die. YOU: *starts to hyperventilate/cry* I don't know how to do mental shielding! We're both gonna' di-hi-hie.... *Nimmy slaps our hero(?) * NMM: Get ahold of yourself! YOU: IDEA! NMM: *Blink, surprise* I should mentally strike you more often. *You make Mirror Universe Cmdr Clop** appear, then while he's confused, rip off his moustache and then make him disappear again, then quickly turn, and before Nimmy can ask what you're doing, you slap it on her muzzle.* (** Pony expy Cmdr Spock. Star Trek Mirror universe ripoff.) NMM: ach! Pfft! What are you- *You put a fake human nose, sunglasses, and moustache on your face as she watches* YOU: Pretend you're evil! NMM: What? I AM evil!... (Tiny text)Sort of... I think. I'm not sure anymore.(/Tiny text.) YOU: That's a good start, but you need to be more broody if you're going to be Mirror universe Luna. NMM: *Blink... pause... chagrine* I should mentally slap you more often. YOU: Oh, and throw a bunch more thees and thous into your talking. You've got to come across as a poor mental image of Luna. NMM: This is preposterous! It will never work! YOU: It's this or plan B nimmy! NMM: What's plan B? YOU: We die. NMM: I don't like plan B. YOU: Consider that incentive then.... *The sound of hooves in a stone hallway can be heard.* YOU: Now quick, act all... nightmare-y or something. [Luna enters scene, have some exchange here. Luna falls for it and thinks Nimmy is just his mind's dream interpretation of her. Nimmy's awkward acting is adorable to our hero. Especially with all the thees and thous she randomly tosses out. After the exchange, Luna think's she can at least remedy his perception of her, and Nimmy is forced to (cutely) try and go from acting evil, to acting nice. Luna, eventually satisfied with her work, leaves, waking our hero up. One mental exchange between him and Nimmy just after waking up.]
Luna tries to enter Bugze's mind, but is violently repulsed at first and only succeeds after putting more effort into the third attempt.
NIGHTMARE BUCKING MOON!
You stumble back in horror and are just one thought away from getting into battle mode when she throws you off guard by saying,
"Quick! Hide me!"
You freeze in confusion as you blurt out,
"What- but, what's goin- Who are-"
"Who do you THINK it is?!" Nightmare Moon interrupts.
"You're- But you sound like the DFV!"
"I AM DFV you nitwit!" Nightmare Moon shouts in annoyance.
"What? But you look like Nightmare Moon! The REAL Nightmare Moon."
She dead-pauses in her near panic as she looks at you incredulously,
"You can't be serious. You mean even after all our talks today- after everything that's happened to us... You STILL haven't figured it out?"
"Uh... Figured what out?" you ask obviously.
"You're serious... You're actually serious. You have no idea who I am..."
"Well, who the buck are you?"
"Idiotic foal! I AM NIGHTMARE MOON! BRINGER OF DARKNESS! THE RIGHTFUL RULER OF THE NIGHT!" Nightmare Moon roars in the Royal Canterlot Voice.
"But you just said-"
"I KNOW WHAT I JUST SAID! USE YOUR BRAIN FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE YOU IMBECILIC BUG!"
"OKAY! Fine! Sheesh..." you say in conceding annoyance as you take a few steps back, "You're DFV, but you say you're Nightmare Moon... which means..."
*Tick, tick, tick... RIIIIIING*
"Wait a minute... You're DFV AND Nightmare Moon?" you ask.
"Getting warmer..." Nightmare Moon replies.
"Which means that DFV and Nightmare Moon are one in the same."
"Warmer..."
"Which means all this time I've been talking to-"
"Pretty hot."
"That Nightmare Moon has been inside my head-"
"As hot as the sun-butt goddess Celestia dropping her ball of cosmic gas on you..."
"Wait... I'VE BEEN THE HOST TO NIGHTMARE MOON ALL THIS TIME?!" you shout in realization.
"NO HORSEAPPLES SHERCLOP!" Nightmare Moon roars in annoyance (you also swear you hear several voices on keyboards echoing her opinion).
"And since you're apparently having trouble getting your neurons to fire in any sort of timely manner, I'll just finish that thought for you! YES! I've been stuck in your head for a while now! Not that I can do much from here since you sealed me off at the Gala. YES, it was my power that allowed you to trash the place. YES, this means that now Luna has DOUBLE the reason to murder you if she discovers me... which, incidentally, will be any minute now if we don't figure out some way to hide me!"
She then suddenly blushes before saying,
"Also, YES, you really should be telling yourself 'NO! BAD BUG' for that thought you just had about my perfect flanks! I'm in your head! I know EVERYTHING YOU THINK!"
You shake off some drool (your mind kinda shut down due to that info-dump and wandered into more... carnal territory) and quickly blurt out,
Nightmare Moon rolls her eyes and says, "Let's worry about the invading princess first."
"Okay okay okay, we'll discuss you later. Um... Can Luna even hurt us inside my head?"
"The dream realm is her domain, she could destroy your mind and render you an inert vegetable if she so saw fit!"
"NOT GOOD FOR ME! Wait, why isn't she in here already?"
"I sent up some mental blocks, so it'll take at least three tries before she get in. That should be enough time to think of some way to hide me. You're also still unconscious from that Earth-Manipulation beating our daughter gave you so even if that traitor couldn't hurt you here, all she has to do is return to the waking world and throttle us where you lay!"
"*eep!* ALSO NOT GOOD FOR ME!"
"We're still inside your mind though, so we should be okay if you can think of something."
Suddenly the dreamscape realm shakes from what you assume is Luna's failed attempt to enter.
"Oh... Well that's not good either." you comment.
"Indeed. You're not exactly the brightest-"
"No, actually I mean some of the thoughts I have... Have you SEEN what goes through my mind?"
Nightmare Moon opens mouth to say something, but then stops and wilts where she stands,
"I rather wish I could answer 'no' to that question, but I happen to LIVE here right now. You recently marathon'd several monster movies and even I would rather not speak of the horrors of those Xeno-things as your mind depicts them. Not to mention the memories of your... uncomfortable foalhood..." Nightmare Moon says the last part sympathetically.
"Yeah. This head of mine is a scary place... Sorry about that by the way." you apologize as you look down.
"Apology accepted, now think of something before we die."
"Oh yeah, we still got the goddess of the moon trying to break in here..."
You stand their obliviously for a moment before the dreamscape shakes again from Luna's second attempt to enter. This causes a realization of what you just said to sink in and you take it... pretty well,
"I don't know how to do mental shielding!" You blurt out as you start to panic "She's gonna lunar-fry us both! THE END IS NEAR! WE ARE ALL GONNA DI-!"*slap*
"Get ahold of yourself, bug!" Nightmare Moon commands after slapping you.
"IDEA!" you blurt out after her percussive maintenance of your mind.
Nightmare Moon blink and deadpanly says,
"Huh, I should hit you more often."
Suddenly, a mustache blinks into existence and startles Nightmare Moon, but you quickly grab it and shove it onto Nightmare Moon's face.
"ch! Pfft! What are you-"
She stops when she notices you putting on Groucho glasses on your helmet,
"Quick! Pretend you're evil!" you command.
"What? I AM evil!... Sort of... I think. I'm not sure anymore." she says the last part with uncertainty, but you don't notice.
"That's a good start, but you need to be more broody if you're going to be Mirror universe Luna."
Nightmare Moon blinks some more before saying,
"I stand corrected. I will hit you more often-"
"Oh, and throw a bunch more thees and thous into your talking. You've got to come across as a poor mental image of Luna."
"This is preposterous! It will never work!"
"It's this or plan B Nimmy!"
"What's plan B?"
"We die." you say bluntly.
"I don't like plan B." Nimmy says in a deadpanned tone.
"Consider that an incentive then..."
You both flinch when you hear the sound of hoofsteps clopping on a stone floor.
"She's coming!" Nightmare Moon says in fear.
"Quick, act all... nightmare-y or something."
After you finish putting the finishing touches on Nimmy disguise (You'll still gonna call her that, just to mess with her), Luna literary pops up right in front of you.
“Mister Tennant, do not fear. we have come to- AH! By my sister, what is this?!” She screams in shock, pointing a shaking hoof at Nightmare Moon.
“Showtime…” you quickly whisper to Nimmy and turn to Luna in terribly acted mock confusion “Princess Luna?! But how is this possible? I am seeing two of you now!”
*Ahem* Nimmy clears her throat “MWA-HAHAHA!” she cackles evilly
“I am the immortal ruler of the night, thou shalt tremble before us! We demand thou’s foals be given to us so we may feast on their succulent flesh and turn their skins into a stylish line of designer coats!” she says and twirls her fake mustache. “Our glorious night shall blacken the skies of the world and freeze the ground beneath thine hooves! Wither and freeze in our name! Love-ist me and despair!”
“Uh, might want to dial back the evil a bit, it’s creeping me out.” you whisper to her with a grimace before giving your performance.
“I cannot allow you to do this, vile scourge!” you say with the most over the top ‘white knight’ performance you can muster “I shall not let you harm an innocent, nor my daughter.”
“You fool! I alread- already…” You can see Nimmy choke a bit and fight back a sob “I ate her, okay?”
It would be hard to make anyone believe that performance, but something tells you that Luna bought it.
“Is… is that really how you see me?” Luna said, her voice quivering “I am nothing like that! Thou must believe me! Please!” she grabs hold of you pleadingly “I only wish to help you.”
“So let me get this straight, you’re not some evil murderous tyrant that murders foals?” you say accusingly.
“Of course not!” Luna screams at you in shock “I would never harm a child, I could not!”
Just then an echoing voice from the past rings out across your mindscape.
“We suggest the gallows!” it says harshly, in Luna’s exact words.
Luna’s eyes widen at the sentence and she stares at you in shock as she says
“H- How?”
“I uh… I was working as a janitor at the castle that day and heard everything? Yeah let’s go with that.” you pull the excuse out of your nether regions.
“We are thy true princess of the Night enjoy-ist bad company and drinking the eyeball jelly of thou foals." Nimmy says from behind you, riddling Luna with even more guilt.
“I didn’t mean it, I swear!” Luna tells you “I was so frightened by her. I thought she was Nightmare Moon, returned to drag me back to the dark side!”
Nimmy starts making Darth Invader breathing noises behind you, which you have to suppress a laugh at.
“I swear to you Tennant, I wouldst never do something so horrible as to harm an innocent child… even if she were the incarnate of the worst part of me.”
“Part of you… pft. What nonsense.” Nimmy scoffs out of earshot.
“Will you please allow me to help you? I have heard from the letter you sent of your horrible Nightmares.” Luna begs.
“Well, if you’re really not a murdering foal-eater… Okay.” You say, though caution and a grudge still linger in your mind. “Also, you’re like ten times hotter than I thought you’d be. I wonder what your mane feels like when I run my hoof through- NO! BAD BUG!” you stop yourself from going down that train of thought, to which Luna gives you an odd look and Nimmy gives you a jealous glare (not that you notice).
“Uh, I mean. Let’s begin then.”
You tell Luna about the Nightmares you’ve had, various scenes materializing beside you as you do, though you’re careful to censor any bits hinting to who you really are (and by you, you mean Nimmy). And man is it hard to not think about stuff when you don’t want to. I mean it’s like: Don’t think about pink elephants, and then you’re thinking about pink elephants. But through it all, you’re able to keep it together until Luna tells you she’s seen enough.
“I believe I know the source of your nightmares; trauma.” She explains “More specifically, major traumatic events. May I?” her horn lights up and she inches towards you with it.
You don’t really like the prospect of what she might be doing, but you’ll give her the benefit of the doubt this one time if it means getting rid of the nightmares. She touches her horn to your Subject Delta helmet, and two of the ‘screens’ fly out of your head and materialize, side by side.
The first one starts to play, and what a painful memory it is. A giant starry bear stomps into Ponyville and smashes a certain showpony’s cart under its massive paw. It then starts to tear apart the town and ponies are screaming everywhere.
You (Nimmy) cut off the memory before it gets to the part where you curb-stomp it and subsequently, the Deadly 6 as the Hooded Offender.
Luna simply glances at you, assuming you don’t want to relive it, and starts the next one.
This time it stretches all around you until the dreamscape is completely transformed, and you’re treated to that night at the Gala. Only this time, you view it as though you were merely a phantom, everyone ignoring you so that you can better see the destruction and havoc you wrecked in your rage-addled state. The memory concludes and leaves you breathing heavily, guilt pouring into your heart at what you did.
“I can see the problem.” Luna tells you, to which you shudder and think (without her hearing you...somehow).
Oh no, did she figure out who I am?
“Being present at not just one, but two major crisis events has left you with a scarred mind, thus giving you the nightmares as it tries to cope.”
You whisper to yourself in relief,
”Oh thank Luna… wow that’s awkward considering she's right there."
“Unfortunately I cannot help you be rid of this, but it will fade with time.” Luna tells you “In the meantime, we recommend visiting a psychiatrist. Now there is just the issue of how you see me.” she turns to Nimmy, who is idly twirling her fake mustache.
“Umm, so… how do we… you know… fix it?” you ask, really wishing she’d just leave instead.
Luna smirks and says “Class is now in session.” she then poofs on a teacher uniform and small pair of glasses, pulls out a large chalkboard and starts lecturing Nimmy in the ways of being good.
Luna's uniform and Nimmy's awkward and flustered replies, coupled with her glances pleading for help is just too hilarious to look away from, especially when Luna has Nimmy put on a top hat and monocle in order to improve the look of her fake mustache.
After about an hour or so, Luna eventually stops her tutoring of Nimmy after she's satisfied with her work. This is good seeing how you were laughing like a mad bug the whole time and your sides were about to split open.
“My work here is done. Farewell Mister Tennant!” Luna leaves as you begin to wake up. But before you do, you hear Nimmy say,
"Mention this to Anypony, and I will gut you form the inside out. AND STOP CALLING ME NIMMY!"
You chuckle as you say,
"Whatever you say... Nimmy!"
With a final annoyed yell from "Nimmy", you wake back up into the land of the living and see...
When you wake up, Night Shade hugs you and cries into your shoulder N: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!!! You: Honey... N: I just got so angry! I HATE WHEN YOU HURT OTHERS BECAUSE OF ME!!! I wanted to stop you, not try and kill you...I'm sorry (cries). You hug her back, realizing that maybe your over-protectiveness of her has gone way too far in some regards. You: It's OK honey...It's OK, I'm sorry too... Luna: Please do not punish her severely, we have already lectured her on the wrongness of patricide. Twilight: She was hysterical when you wouldn't wake up...please don't love her any less You: I NEVER WOULD! I'LL ALWAYS CARE FOR HER! I love you honey... N: I love you too daddy... Luna: Such love in your heart...But still, I recommend you take anger management classes, and have your daughter train with Twilight Sparkle here. She is a very powerful filly...I have not seen mastery of Earth Bending like that ever. Twilight: I would be happy to train her You: Grrr...Fine. On One condition. Bring Back Nightmare Night! Luna: I had already decided to do so before you lost your temper... You: Oh...OK then...again, sorry about that. Luna: No worries Tennant, sometimes we all are angry at the world...Now Twilight, you said I should scare the children when they come? Twilight: Ya, they'll love it, I guarantee it.
Nightshade hugging you and crying into your chestplate and messing up the mummy bandages covering her face.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!!!"
"Honey..."
"I just got so angry! I HATE WHEN YOU HURT OTHERS BECAUSE OF ME!!! I wanted to stop you, not try and kill you... I'm sorry."
You hug her back, realizing that maybe your over-protectiveness of her has gone way too far in some regards.
"It's OK honey...It's OK, I'm sorry too... Maybe I have been too overprotective of you lately..."
"Please do not punish her severely, we have already lectured her on the wrongness of patricide." you hear Luna say. Twilight then adds,
"She was hysterical when you wouldn't wake up... please don't love her any less-"
"I NEVER WOULD! I'LL ALWAYS CARE FOR HER!" you shout at them before turning back to your daughter "I love you honey..."
"I love you too daddy..."
"Such love in your heart..." Luna comments
Heh, ain't that ironic. One of the princess is saying a changeling has alot of love in his heart... Can't say that I blame her though, considering how I can't even consume love anymore... still need to figure out how that happened though... you think before Luna interrupts you.
"But still, I recommend you take anger management classes and have your daughter be tutored by Twilight Sparkle here. She is a very powerful filly... I have not seen mastery of Earth Manipulation like that in a long time."
Nightshade tries to earth-bend again, but she's as bad as that as you are at air-bending (probably only works when she's angry)
"But didn't you see me when I beat Daddy? (Sorry again about that) Look!"
Nightshade performs an Earth Manpulation Kata, but only succeeds in levitating a tiny pebble that harmlessly bounces off your helmet.
"Huh? Did you guys hear something?" You say obliviously as you look around.
Nightshade stutters,
"B- B- but I-"
You come in for the save and quickly say,
"Don't worry sweetie. It probably only works when you're mad, like me when I use the Niiiii-"
You pause when you see Twilight and Luna looking at you suspiciously so you correct yourself as you continue,
"iiiiight-time walks! Yeah that's it, I can go longer during my night walks when I'm mad... heheheh Please buy that." You mutter the last part.
"Okaaaaaay..." Twilight says uncertainly before continuing, "Anyway, I would be happy to train her."
"Fine... But on one condition; Bring Back Nightmare Night!" you command.
"We- I mean I had already decided to do so before you lost your temper..." Luna says matter-of-factly.
"Oh... OK then... again, sorry about that." you say sheepishly.
"No worries Tennant, sometimes we all are angry at the world... Now Twilight, you said I should scare the children when they come?"
"Yeah, they'll love it, I guarantee it."
Luna smiles at the scare idea, but then puts on a confused face as she asks,
"While thou idea is good, how are we to scare the foals?"
Twilight rubs her hoof behind her head sheepishly as she says
"Heheh... I haven't thought that far yet to be honest."
Fortunately you (being the master prankster that you are) already have a idea as soon as Twilight said 'scare'. You smile mischievously as you open your mouth to say...
What do you do?
Episode 36: Let's Go Scare Them Foals! (Nightmare Night Finale)
Tell Luna and Twilight your plan. Luna: Are thou...you sure that dressing up as...HER is the wisest choice? You: Of course, think about it, everyone's been calling you that all night, you'd be giving them a bit of their own medicine. Twilight: I like his idea, it seems poetic You: Ya, all you need is some sharp teeth, dragon eyes, and perfect shapely fla... Nimmy: GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER!!! (blushing) You: I-I mean...perfectly scary face...heh heh...yeah Luckily Twilight and Luna don't hear your Freudian slip Nimmy: Pervert You: What, you are quite literally on my mind right now, cut me some slack You then turn to Night Shade You: Honey, your job is the most important You whisper in her ear and she nods in understanding You: Alright, let's bring Nightmare Night Back with style When the kids come to dump their candy at the statue, most of them are really really sad. The little Pirate guy especially looks down in the dumps. Night Shade then says Night Shade: But I don't want to give away my candy That's Luna's cue... Luna: THOUGH DOES NOT WISH TO SATISFY MY HUNGER?! You lift Night Shade up with your Telekenisis from behind the statue as she starts screaming, scaring all the foals. Luna: PERHAPS WE SHALL FEAST UPON YOU!!! Night Shade: NO! TAKE MY CANDY! TAKE IT ALL! (throws candy at the ground and you drop her in the middle of the foals. Luna: This is satisfactory! Your sacrifice has appeased me! Go then children, and know this. I will be back next year, and the year after that! NIGHTMARE NIGHT WILL GO ON FOREVER!!! She then appears in front of the kids as you use Incinerate to make massive columns of fire appear on either side of her. Although her magic lightning does strike you on accident, as the kids run away, causing the flames to spread higher into the sky. As you lay on the ground in your pre-zapped state, you see that little Pirate guy hugging Luna and telling her she's his favorite princess. You walk up as he runs off with the rest and say You: Personally, I like Cadance the best Luna wrinkles her nose at that. Luna: My sister's ascended niece she adopted in my absence? Understandable I guess, we have gotten to know her since my return, and she is good company You: How the heck do you adopt someone as a niece? Luna: I do not know, but she did. Night Shade runs up N: Did I do good daddy? Did I? You: Of course you did honey, now let's get back to town.
How about having Bugze borrow some of Zecora's masks, and make it seem like they've come to life. One mask in a deep voice could proclaim to the citizens of Ponyville that while Mistress Moon eats you're flesh we shall consume you're souls. Than it does a deep scary laugh.
With a smirk, you approach the mares and say,
"Ladies, I have a cunning plan..."
ONE EXPLANATION LATER
"Are thou... you sure that dressing up as... HER is the wisest choice?" Luna asks in concern.
"Of course, think about it, everyone's been calling you that all night, you'd be giving them a bit of their own medicine." you say to reassure them.
"I like his idea, it seems poetic." Twilight nods.
"Ya, all you need is some sharp teeth, dragon eyes, and perfect shapely fla-"
GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER!!!
"I-I mean...perfectly scary face... heh heh... yeah." you chuckle nervously, but luckily Twilight and Luna don't hear your Freudian slip.
Pervert...
What, you're literally on my mind right now, cut me some slack.
You then turn to Nightshade and say,
"Honey, your job is the most important."
You lean down and whisper in her ear and she nods in understanding so you get back up and say,
"Alright, let's bring Nightmare Night Back with style. But first I need to quickly see a certain striped shaman..."
Later, the foals (Nightshade among them) led by Zecora come to dump their candy at the statue, most of them are really really sad. The little Pirate guy especially looks down in the dumps. Nightshade then whines,
"But... I... don't... want... togiveawaymycandy."
The other foals start to look at her strangely, but suddenly a loud regal voice booms,
"THOU DOES NOT WISH TO SATISFY MY HUNGER?!"
From your hiding place, you lift Nightshade up with your Telekenisis from behind the statue as she starts screaming, scaring all the foals.
"PERHAPS WE SHALL FEAST UPON YOU!!!"
From her hiding place, Twilight levitates several of Zecora's masks and makes them float in a circle around Nightshade.
"NO! TAKE... MY... CANDY! TAKEITALL!" Nightshade screams in "terror" as she throws candy at the ground and you drop her in the middle of the foals.
"This is satisfactory! Your sacrifice has appeased me! Go then children, and know this. I will be back next year, and the year after that! NIGHTMARE NIGHT WILL GO ON FOREVER!!!" Luna declares in the Royal Canterlot Voice as the masks begin to swirl in a circle faster and faster until thy explode in a midnight mist. The foals continue to shake in shock, but then a figure appears and dissipates the mist...
And that figure is Nightmare Moon (actually Luna)! On cue, you use "Incinerate!" to make massive columns of fire appear on either side of her as she uses her magic lightning to create intimidating flashing as the kids run away, causing the flames to spread higher into the sky.
*ZAP*
Unfortunately, one of the magic lightning bolts strikes your metal suit, knocking you down in a gibbering heap. As you finally get back up, you see that little Pirate colt hugging Luna and telling her she's his favorite princess.
You walk up to Luna as the colt runs off with the rest and comment,
"Personally, I like Cadance the best."
Luna wrinkles her nose and replies,
"My sister's ascended niece she adopted in my absence? Understandable I guess. We have gotten to know her since my return and she is good company. And she has a great taste in stallions..."
You swear you see a blush on her face as she says that last part, but you ignore it and ask,
"How the heck do you adopt somepony as a niece?"
"I do not know, but she did." she shrugs.
Suddenly thinking of something, you ask,
Ask Princess Luna for her opinion on "The Horde" and if she knows any Bending. Let DWC answer the first part, but for the bending, Luna replies that while alicorns are capable of manipulating all four elements, they find it more convenient to just cast spells from their horns rather than perform all the body movements needed for Element Manipulation.
"So Princess Luna... what are your thoughts on this whole Horde thing the papers seem to be yammering about?"
Luna looks surprised at the question, but still answers,
"We-I mean I find them to be a nuisance, yet I understand why they believe in the Hooded Offender."
You cock your head in confusion and ask,
"What do you mean?"
Luna sighs and replies,
"What we-I mean I admire about them is their ability for finding the good in a being who is bent on causing mayhem throughout Equestria because of my mistake...
"I don't mean to cause mayhem, it just happens..." you mumble as Luna continues.
"But, with some of the more... outgoing member causing public displays of indecency, protests, riots, and even a few of them trying to recruit ponies for a rebellion in the Offender's name..."
Your eyes widen in terror at that thought and you think,
Oh Buck, that does NOT sound good...
"I won't burden you with how much paperwork I have to deal with as a result of that group, but I just hope the Offender, if he is willing to forgive me, will help stop his more outgoing members before something truly disastrous happens."
You nod your head at this and can't help but think,
Note to self: Find the horde clubhouse and have them send out a memo to cool it, STAT!
You're about to leave the Lunar princess alone, when another question pops into your mind,
"Hey, Princess? What do you know about bending? You know, so I can help Nightshade out."
Luna nods in understanding and says,
"While element manipulation is highly difficult art to attain proficiency in to the point where a pony can study water manipulation for decades and still only be able to move a puddle, alicorns such as myself, my sister, and Princess Cadance are capable of manipulating all four elements. However, we find it more convenient to just cast spells from our horns rather than perform all the body movements needed for Element Manipulation."
You nod your head at this information as you think,
So, Nightshade can just cast the element huh? Heh, looks like it'll be easier to train her then I thought... I think at least.
Before the conversation continues any further, Nightshade runs up to you.
"Did I do good daddy? Did I? Did I!?" she asks while hopping excitedly in her mummy costume. You smile and reply,
"Of course you did honey, now let's get back to town."
With that said, you and Nightshade begin to head back to town with Twilight and Luna...
SOMETIME LATER
As the group approach Ponyville, you can't help but notice Nightshade smiling while carrying a bad of candy almost as big as she is. You sigh and think,
This is gonna suck...*sigh* might as well get it over with...
With that, you turn over to Nightshade and say,
Remind Nightshade that she is definitely still grounded and make sure she turns in all candy she acquired to charity.
"Honey, I'm glad that your happy and all, but I need to remind you that your still grounded. So you better make sure all the candy you got (or what's left of it after you gave some to Luna) is given to charity. Okay?"
Nightshade freezes and sighs in sadness as she says,
"Yes Daddy. I'll give it all to charity... Race ya back to town!"
And with that sudden change in personalty, Nightshade darts way ahead of you towards town. You chuckle at her antics and are about to go after her, when suddenly...
As Bugze walk's home after the Celebration. Dash decides to scare him with her storm cloud before he leaves. But accidentally get's Bugze electrocuted again because of his suit. Cue Dash saying sorry a bunch of times. Also when Dash find's out it's Tennant in the suit have her try to take advantage of the situation by offering to nurse him back to health. Cue a jealous Applejack who overheard the offer, and say's Dash doesn't have to go through the trouble. Tennant is her employee she'll take of him. Applejack blush's while saying that. Cue the start of a fight between Applejack and Dash about who will take care him. While Bugze take's advantage of their distraction to sneak away.
*ZAP*
You actually start to float in midair as the lighting courses though your veins. And you make unrecognizable sounds as well...
Finally, the lighting ends as you fall back onto the ground. Your whole costume is charred and smoke is rises off of you. You're about to fall over in shock (pun intended), when a rainbow blur suddenly lands in front of you,
Oh great, the Fillyfooler. You think bitterly as you start to sway side to side due to all the electricity going though you. You're about to say something, when Rainbow starts talking a mile an hour.
It takes you awhile to figure out what she said, but when you do you can't help but think,
I may not exactly like her, but this was an accident due to how upset she looks. I guess I can forgive her just this once, but if we ever fight again I'm SO Electo-Bolting her.
With that thought in mind you say,
"Don't worry about Fillyfo-I mean Rainbow. Accidents happen. You couldn't have know that this costume was made of actual metal. Plus, you can consider this payback for the whole 'whacking your cider mug out of your hoof' thing."
Rainbow looks at you confused for a second, but then she gains a look of realization and a blush as she says,
"Wait of minute... No way. B.S.T... is that you?"
Not noticing the blush, you chuckle at her bewildered expression as you say,
"Yep. Well, I guess I'm extra fried B.S.T now... Wait, that only works if my initials were B.L.T..."
As you backtrack over overthinking your attempted joke, you notice to your surprise, Rainbow laughing at your joke!
What the?! Noling laughs at my jokes, even the funny ones! What's the fillyfoolers game?
As you start to look at Rainbow with suspicion, she suddenly says,
"You know what, now that I think about it. I should probably nurse ya back to health. You know, till you get less fryed."
She scratched her hoof on the ground in awkwardness, and you start to freak out as you think,
HUH!?!? What... what she up to?! I... should I say yes... or should... I... ugh my brain hurts!
You can literally feel the gears in your head moving as slow and painfully as possible at this situation. You're about to use the "Look a Distraction" escape plan, when things get worse,
"WOAH NELLY!"
The next thing you know, Applejack is right next to you in her scarecrow costume with steam coming out of her ears. You 'meep' in terror a little and start to back away in fright when Applejack says,
"Sorry Rainbow, but if anypony is gonna take care of Mister Tennant it's gonna be me. He's mah employee and I'm responsible for him and his health. Besides, don't ya need to practice for the Wonderblots or something. I'd hate to keep you busy from your dream by having to take care of poor Mister Tennant over here. Ah mean he just needs some good old love and care..."
Applejack is blushing by that end of her rant, and you have backed even farther away from the two mares. Suddenly, the two mares start to argue about who should take care of you...
"I'M THE ONE WHO SHOCKED HIM! I SHOULD TAKE CARE OF HIM!"
"A'M HIS BOSS, IT'S MAH JOB TO WATCH OVER HIM!"
"HE'S MY FRIEND, YOU'RE JUST HIS BOSS, I SHOULD TAKE CARE OF HIM!"
"I'VE KNOW HIM LONGER THEN YOU HAVE! I'LL TAKE CARE OF HIM!"
As the argument continues, you can't help but think with a deadpan tone,
I really hope Applejack loses her crush on me after she finds out we're cousins... if I ever find the courage to tell her... and if we're even cousins in the first place. And if she still does have a crush on me, then I'm definitely moving back to Appeloosa. Although she is a good cook and I wouldn't mind her well-toned legs riding m- NO! BAD BUG!
You then realize that, while the mares are distracted with their argument, it would be a good idea to... GET THE BUCK OUTTA HERE! You decide to heed this advice and you slowly back away from the two mares, and when you are far enough away, you make a break for it!
BACK IN TOWN
You slowly come to a stop as you begin to breath in and out form exhaustion, When you finally regain your breath, you see...
As the night progresses, you see Luna hanging around town, having fun, and even pranking. Nimmy (maybe you'll come up with a new name for her later) scoffs at this. Nimmy: Look at that fool...running around being...foolish. It hurt so much having to speak with her again... You: You need to lighten up you know that? Nimmy: How can you be so quick to forgive her? Even if you weren't found out, she still wants you dead. It You: Ya, but so does most of the world...and besides, I think Night Shade may have softened her. Nimmy: My own daughter, friends with that backstabbing... You: You keep saying she backstabbed you, but how if you two were the same person? Nimmy: ...Imagine you had a friend...your only friend for over a thousand years. Now imagine that friend abandoned you and left you to die after you were separated by force... You start to get a pretty good idea where she's going Nimmy: she didn't even try to save me...she just left what was left of me within that armor. A Millenium of friendship meant nothing to her, our goals meant nothing because she wanted to "Be Accepted"...I'll always hate her for that, more so than you hate that pathetic magician. You think about how much you hate Trixie and now you completely understand You: Betrayal hurts... Nimmy: Yes it does...please...don't ever abandon me as she did... You don't really know how to answer that so you just say You: Okay... You both are silent for a moment You: ...So, now that I know who you are, care to answer a few more questions? Nimmy: such as? You: Oh I don't know, how you got in my head, how you mothered Night Shade, and what exactly you want of me, you know the basics? Nimmy: ...I will answer your questions...but not tonight. Today has been a long tiresome day... You: OK, I can wait...
Luna hanging around town, having fun, and even pranking ponies. Nimmy (maybe you'll come up with a new name for her later) scoffs at this,
Look at that foolish fool, foolishly running around and foolishly acting so foolish. It hurt so much having to speak with that foolishly foolish fool...
You need to lighten up you know that?
How can you be so quick to forgive her? Even if you weren't found out, she still wants you dead. It-
Ya, but so does most of Equestria... and besides, I think Nightshade may have softened her.
My own daughter, friends with that backstabbing...
You keep saying she backstabbed you, but how if you two were the same pony?
Imagine you had a friend... your only friend for over a thousand years. Now imagine that friend abandoned you and left you to die after you were separated by force...
You start to get a pretty good idea where she's going,
She didn't even try to save or even retrieve me... Me, who came to her bitter, jealous, and miserable form to offer her a way to get rid of that accursed false goddess. She left me to rot within that prison... A Millennium of friendship meant nothing to her, our goals meant nothing because she wanted to "Be Accepted"... I'll always hate her for that. Even more than you hate that pathetic magician...
You think about how much you hate Trixie and now you completely understand,
Betrayal hurts... you think with a sigh.
Yes it does... please... don't ever abandon me as she did...
You don't really know how to answer that so you just say,
Okay...
You're both silent for a moment,
So... now that I know who you are, care to answer a few more questions?
Such as?
Oh I don't know, how you got in my head, how you mothered Nightshade, and what exactly you want from me? You know the basics.
I will answer your questions... but not tonight. Today has been a long tiresome day...
OK, I can wait...
The party is starting to wind down after Luna's big scare, and the Evil Clown Witch takes the podium again. She announces that Luna has broken the scare record by one pony. You, by making you freak out earlier. The crowd erupts with applause, and you are left dumbfounded. Until a thought occurs... *GONG* "GAH!" Ponies look back at you, but you wave them off. You said you'd never do that again! After what you were thinking about my flanks, I now reserve the right to veto your ideas! What? I didn't have any- I'm in your head, fool. You were thinking that you weren't a pony. But I'm not. And if the record is about scaring ponies, then my scare shouldn't count! We should be tied! And you're going to reveal yourself as a changeling over that?! Well... *GONG* Stop it! No! You finally had a mare kiss your pseudo-cheek, I agreed that I will no longer try to kill, we shared a moment because of that, you now know my true name, the one that wanted our daughter dead more than any other just hugged her and admitted she made a mistake, you gained a suit of armor that has more weapons than the entire Royal Guard, and our daughter just tried to murder us because she can feel the same loss of control as you. That's enough for one day. You got a point there. I know, right? You'd think all that could have been a month's worth of episodes. Huh? Nothing. Just thinking out loud. It's about all I can do, being inside your head and all. Well at least Nightmare Night is over. We know Luna doesn't hate Nightshade anymore, and that crazy nightmare of mine was just a trick my brain pulled on itself to overcome a traumatic event. All in all, things are looking up!
The festival is starting to wind down after Luna's big apple bobbing scare and the Evil Clown Witch takes the podium again,
"Attention everypony, Princess Luna has broken the scare record by one pony; Mr. Tennant (which you all probably still remember for that lynching prank we pulled on him even though he didn't deserve it... Re-vote for me)!"
The crowd erupts with applause and you are left dumbfounded until a thought occurs...
*GONG*
"GAH!" you yelp as you jump up, startled, causing ponies around you to look back at you strangely, but you wave them off,
"Heheheh, sorry about that folks just... ran into something! Yeah, that's what happened..."
The ponies shrug and turn back to what they were doing as you think,
I thought you said you'd never do that again!
After what you were thinking about my perfect flanks earlier, I now reserve the right to veto your ideas!
What? I didn't have any- you think defensively before Nimmy interrupts,
I'm in your head, fool. It's also how I know you were thinking that the record shouldn't count because you're not a pony.
But I'm not! And if the record is about scaring ponies, then my scare shouldn't count! We should be tied!
And you're going to reveal yourself as a changeling over that?! Nimmy asks in a questioning/annoyed tone.
Well...
*GONG*
"Stop that!" you say out loud causing several ponies to look at you startled before you wave them off again.
No! You finally had a strumpet kiss your pseudo-cheek, I agreed that I will no longer try to kill, we shared a moment because of that, you now know my true name, the one that wanted our daughter dead more than any other just hugged her and admitted she made a mistake, you gained a powerful suit of armor, and our daughter just tried to murder us because she can feel the same loss of control as you. That's enough for one day.
You got a point there... you think begrudgingly.
I know, right? You'd think all that could have been a month's worth of episodes.
Huh? you think in confusion.
Nothing. Just a side effect in living in a spaciously empty mind filled with movies, serials, and video games...
Well at least Nightmare Night is over. We know Luna doesn't hate Nightshade anymore and that crazy nightmare of mine was just a trick my brain pulled on itself to overcome a traumatic event. All in all, things are looking up! Anyway, I don't see why you're reacting like this over my flattering opinions of your body. You didn't have any problems about my... improper thoughts about other mares. Besides, didn't we have sorta a moment a few moments ago? But I"ll stop if you tell me one thing that I don't know about you-
...Shut up.
As the festival ends and everypony starts heading home, you pick up a sleeping Nightshade (she fell asleep munching on some orange-cream sandwich cookies, it was adorable) and you start to head home, when...
You then are tapped on you shoulder and you turn around and see Derpy dressed in Paper Bags You: Oh Hi Derpy D: Hiya Bug...I mean Baker. You: What are you dressed as? D: Isn't it obvious? You shake your head D: I'm a sandwich You: Ooooohhhhh...I see it now (you really don't) so where's the Doctor D: Oh he said he had to take care of something with Shakespony and Witches, but I wanted to spend tonight with Dinky. You: Oh, OK then, I really need to tell him something... D: Oh before I forget, he wanted me to say something to you in, and I quote, a "very cryptic matter that will keep him guessing" You: Huh? D: He told me to tell you, "Don't hurt the Vigilante or the Dragon, they aren't what they appear to be." You: What the hay does that mean? D: He then told me to stop talking to you and say Spoilers. Night! (she hugs you and walks off) You: Grrr...Curse you Doctor and your crypticness!
'
You feel somepony tap on your shoulder. You turn around and see Derpy dressed in Paper Bags,
"Oh, Hi Derpy" you say.
"Hiya Bug- I mean, Mister Baker." she replies.
"So... What are you dressed as?" you ask in puzzlement.
"Isn't it obvious?" she asks while holding her arms out.
You shake your head in response.
"I'm a sandwich!" she says cheerfully.
"Ooooohhhhh...I see it now... kinda. Anyway, where's the Doctor?"
"Oh he said he had to take care of something with Shakespony and Witches, but I wanted to spend tonight with Dinky."
"Dinky?" you ask in confusion.
"My daughter. She's dressed as a firepony. You know, I've heard alot about your daughter."
You beam with fatherly pride and say,
"Oh, you have..."
"Yeah! I heard she was the youngest potty mouth in town..."
"Oh..." you say deflating, "You heard about that?"
"Yep." she says with a smile before she suddenly glares at you "You better fix her habit Bugze, cause if I ever hear that sweet innocent filly swear... well let's just say that there will be blood."
You gulp nervously and say,
"You're alot scarier when your mad, you know that right?"
"Yep! A Silurian told me the same thing. Oh, and about that list of potential marefriends you sent to the Doctor-"
You start to sweat nervously before quickly changing the subject,
"Anyway! I really need to tell the Doc something-"
"Oh before I forget," Derpy interrupts, "He wanted me to say something to you in, and I quote, 'a very cryptic matter that will keep him guessing', unquote,"
"Huh?"
"He told me to tell you, 'Don't hurt the Vigilante, it isn't what they appear to be' or something like that."
"What the hay does that mean?"
"He then told me to stop talking to you and say 'Spoilers'. Night!"
With that, Derpy hugs you before flying off.
"Grrr... Curse you Doctor and your cryptic-ness!" you mutter angrily before you finally head back to the shed with Nightshade on your back, still asleep.
BACK AT THE SHED
You look to see if there's a way to scratch the drill and/or plasmids for more practical use. Maybe you can see the plasmid into your Hooded Offendor cloak incase you ever need to get that thing out of the closet.
When you finally arrive and put Nightshade into her bed, you decide to see if you can salvage anything from your costume. Sadly it appears that the plasmid glove is the only thing that can detach from the costume. You sigh in defeat before you realize something.
Wait a minute! This means I can carry plasmids on my person without anyling noticing! After all, noling would think this glove has a bunch of plasmids in it. And there're still all those Vigors and other plasmids that I need to find.
With that thought in mind, you take off your costume (minus the plasmid glove) and put on your Doctor outfit (pants, coat, face mask, scarf, and hat) that's now dry ("Subject Delta costume" added to Inventory). You're about to go to bed, when you get an insane thought...
When it's all over, you're back home taking off your costume. But before you put it away, you just have to burn one more thing. You can't help yourself. Fire is pretty. Unfortunately, you set fire to the grass. After overcoming your initial shock of Holy buck, holy buck, holy buck, the Apples will sand off my face, the fire burns out as quickly as it started. You walk over in disbelief until you see the fire burned a message into the grass. THE NIGHTMARE COMES You cry yourself to sleep mumbling, "It isn't fair... it isn't fair... it isn't fair..."
Fire is pretty...
With that thought in mind, you walk outside the shed and activate the "Incinerate!" plasmid,
"Would you kindly BURN BABY, BURN!!!"
And set the grass on fire. After a few moments of staring at the pretty fire, you realize what you've done and... take it pretty well.
"Oh buck, oh buck, oh buuuuuuck! The Apples will sand off my face for this!"
Fortunately the fire burns out as quickly as it started, but you get a nasty surprised. You walk over in disbelief until you see the fire burned a message into the grass.
THE NIGHTMARE COMES
"No... No. NO!" you scream as you run back into the shed, slam the door behind you, and dive into the cot in a fright. You cry yourself to sleep mumbling,
"It isn't fair... it isn't fair... it isn't fair..."
THE NEXT MORNING
When you wake up the next day, you notice the ticket for the free Father-Daughter spa day fell out of your pocket and you consider going there (seeing how you outran a crazed mob, got fired from several jobs, almost got terminated by a machine, fought a Hydra, thought you were getting lynched, took on the goddess of the moon while wearing a heavy suit of armor, and got earthbended by your own daughter... And that was just in one week!), but it's a Monday so Nightshade has school and you have work... You don't know what to do.
You wake up the next day full of energy and ready for the day ahead (which is new since you're normally not a morning bug). You look in the Inventory and are shocked to see that she's missing! You're about to panic, when you see a note. You calm down when you recognize Nightshade's hoof writing and you read it...
Dear Daddy,
I woke up before Daddy! Isn't that awesome!
Anyway, I took a box of crackers, the last of the powered milk, 4 granola bars, a water bottle, a can of tomato cream soup, and 2 carrots along with the 3 free apples they narmally give us.
I hope I didn't take to munch, see ya after school.
Your adorable daughter,
Nightshade
2 Cans of Tomato Cream Soup 2 Boxes of Crackers 4 carrots 11 Granola bars 11 Water bottles remain
You sigh in relief and are about to leave the shed when you notice something on the floor. You lean in an see that it's the Spa Ticket for a free Father-Daughter spa day from Lotus and Aloe that you got from the party at Pinkie's. You smile and put it in your coat pocket as you think,
Yeah, I could REALLY use a relaxing day at the spa. I mean I've outran a crazed mob, got fired from several jobs, almost got terminated by a machine, fought a Hydra, thought I was getting lynched, took on the goddess of the moon while wearing a heavy suit of armor, and got earthbended by my own daughter... And that was just this week!
You smile at the thought of a relaxing day at the spa when you realize something.
Buck. It's a monday! Nightshade's got school, I have work, I've already had quite a few days off as it is, and the ticket is only good for a "Father-Daughter" day. But I REALLY want to go to the spa...
Taking all this into account, you distill it all into one statement,
"I hate Mondays."
What should you do?
Episode 37: Encounters Of The Fancy Kind At The Spa!
Bugze hate Mondays. Fortunately, he developed a specific set of methods for himself just incase it becomes one of those days. You can't live life within the Hive without the general grandbuggy "Monday" complaining, the root cause of everyling's disdain, without having ways to stop him from complaining. Honestly? Thinking about it, EVERYLING hated Monday's for that very reason. Gong. In fact, the Mondays where Grandbuggy failed to contain himself are always followed up by a crazy Tuesday. Tuesdays happen because of Mondays. Tuesday's are the Hiveminds SECOND least favorite day of the week. The crazy emitted just from those particular days developed a few screw looses in the Hive. Tuesdays be darned. That thought suddenly triggered a set of flash backs, some of which he'd preferred to be left buried, locked, and then buried again. However, with just a glimpse, Bugze snickered a little, and briefly uttered a crying-like laughter right afterwards. Gong. Why the hay should there be school on Mondays? Bucking Mondays: It should Moonday! That way, everyone would be happy that there exists a day where they get to have some extra sleep. Sleep relieves stress. And less stress means people live longer! It's scientific fact! In fact, Tuesday's wouldn't have to be happen in the first place! Forget the ones who say cursing is bad. It also releases stress! Nightshade shall be reaching immortality at the rate she's going. Screw the ones who say video games are bad, games controls stress! ...well, minus a select few games. Gong! But stressful games doesn't have to be bad. Some of those games helped him develop an applicable game sense for stressful, real life situations. It saved his life a couple of times even. Ignoring the obnoxious communities, games are pretty beneficial!... So, when there's so many rage-filled teens shouting at their screens in one lobby, it's called "CoD". Gong! Gong! Unless it is Dark Souls with Jolly Copperation activated. Bugze smacked himself. He realized he's burning daylight with his internal rambling, of which Nimmy had been forced to listen to. "Ah, Monday Attacks. I wondered when you'll come back, with all the crazy happening recently. ...Pretend you didn't see all that Nimmy." HOW ON EQUIS COULD I?!. "Gah! Not so loud in my head, Nimmy! I didn't get enough sleep last night, alright?! ...curse you, hallucinations," Bugze muttered. "Okay! Starting with method number one when experiencing terrible Mondays... Get busy!
And with that said, you walk out of the shack and into the apple orchard to get some work done...
IN THE APPLE ORCHARD A HOUR LATER
Mondays don't have to be bad. Hours spent alone in an enormous apple orchard... its a perfect place to practice your airbending. Practice your airbending! Keep an eye out for plasmids. Maybe try to use the wind to boost your apple bucks or tear the apples from the trees.
As you've been working in the field knocking down apples, you've also multi-tasked by working on your airbending. You've been trying to make it so that a gust of wind would happen as soon as you hit a tree, adding an extra 'oof' that'll knock more apples out of the tree per hit, but this technique, (which you have decided to call 'Air Buck') only works very rarely. Most of the time nothing happens and one time (*WHAM*) you were accidentally air-blasted into another tree! As you get back up you think,
Ow... Probably not gonna use that technique anytime soo- woah!
Your thoughts are interrupted as you quickly dodge an acorn (did I/we forget to mention that you also got some dodge training in thanks to some angry Squirrels and their endless supply of nuts...)
Stupid squirrels and their stupid endless supply of nuts... oh well. Back to work.
ANOTHER HOUR OF WORK LATER
As you are finishing up the last barrel, you start to think...
Bugze decides that he better get to work he's had enough day's off as it is, and he doesn't want to push his luck. But plans to track down some of the Horde members in town later when he has the time. The info that Luna gave him last night bothers him. He should probably try to find out more about the Horde. Like their side of things, what their doing, what their plans for the future are, etc.
Luna, this is some hard work, but I've already had quite a few days off as it is. Also note to self, find the Horde's clubhouse and set things straight. I do NOT want to be the cause of a rebellion that results in a head-chopping spree...
You shudder as you remember from your history class (the one time you didn't skip or sleep through it) about the "Regime of Terror" in the Griffin Empire where hundreds (if not thousands) were beheaded in the aftermath of a rebellion...
After shaking off these dark thoughts, you lift up the last barrel of apples you have and begin to head back to the farm to drop them off (you learned to deliver the apples manually because when you try to teleport them, they often end up falling on your head).
As you leave the orchard and head to the barn, you run into...
you finally decide to go work when rainbow dash suddenly 'accidentally' crashes into you and offers to help 'nurse' you back to health after electrocuting you but finds out that you flew into a tree successfully knock all the apples out of the tree
*CRASH*
Or rather got crashed into by... the Fillyfooler. Rainbow Dash shakes her head from the crash before saying,
"Woah! Sorry about that B.S.T, I guess I should watch where I'm going during my Wonderblots training. Say, since I injured you and all, I should probably nurse you back to health. Plus I still owe for yesterday for accidentally shocking you... with... lighting?"
Rainbow stops her rant when she sees that you're no longer in front of her. She looks around confused as to where you are, before she makes a 'dang it' gesture and says,
"Shoot! I thought I had him that time! I guess that's what I get for daydreaming while flying. Even if that daydream is about what his wonderful body must look like under those clothes. His... wonderful... wonderful... wonderful..."
Rainbow's sentence starts to decline into a chant of 'wonderful' as she begins to drool and giggle from time to time. Meanwhile, you can be found embedded into one of the apple trees. You struggle to get out, but with one final push you manage to break free. You 'whoop' in victory, but you can't help but ask out loud,
"Huh... I wonder what hit me? Oh well, I need to report to the Apple's house to tell Applejack I'm done. I think that apple basket I was carrying went flying somewhere when I got hit. Eh, I'm sure she'll be fine with one missing bucket..."
And with that, you head towards the Apple's home and on your way there you see Rainbow standing where you got hit. You, being the curious bug that you are, decide to investigate. When you get over to her, you see that she is blushing heavily, drooling, chanting 'wonderful' over and over again while, and having this far out look in her eyes. You decide to try and get her attention by waving your hoof in front of her eyes and asking,
"Yo Rainbow... you okay?"
Suddenly, her wings pop straight out and she starts to drool and giggle even more! You just slowly walk away before making a full on sprint back to the Apples home while thinking,
I really hope that was just a Fillyfooler thing, cause that was just weird and disturbing! I swear I saw her wings pulsing! BUCKING PULSING!
After escaping the Fillyfooler, you're about to go do some more training in the orchard when you see...
As you go to take something of food, you find again a very familiar scene, as a black smoke come out from the kitchen. "This can't be... Don't tell me it's that again" As you go to the kitchen, you see Nightshade coming out from there, followed by Apple Bloom "How the hell did you burn the kitchen again? Your only task was to put the Apple Juice in the glass... I take the eyes from you one second and the next moment the kitchen is in fire!" Say Apple Bloom "But I swear I did that, really, I only tried to put the juice in the glass, but suddenly a fire come out" Say Nightshade "Look at that, that is talent, I told you... Our filly is great" Commented Nightmare Moon in your head You groan something as you see the smoke and then look and Nightshade and Apple Bloom "What are you two doing there and not in class? It's Monday! And what exactly happened?" Asked Bugzee "Well... Mr, Tennant, Nightshade wanted to cook you a breakfast... again... and somehow she convinced me. She was only supossed to put the Apple Juice from the jar to the glass as I was making everything else, but suddenly the kitchen was in fire and..." Answered Apple Bloom as Bugzee looked the fillies "You say she only put the juice from the jar to the glass?" Asked Bugzee Both fillies nodded with their heads "But how?" Asked Bugzee "It's what I say... The unicorn curse... No unicorn can cook, or be anywhere near a kitchen" Say Apple Bloom "I can cook" Shouted Nightshade "You can't" Say Apple Bloom "I can" Say Nightshade ... That continued during what seemed half a hour as Bugzee remember the last time and what they talked about the unicorn curse and your suspicion about how that evil purple unicorn treat the little dragon until Bugzee stoped them "Okay... Leaving that aside... Why are you two exactly here and not in School?" Asked Bugzee "It's a holyday" Say Nightshade smiling "What?" Asked Bugzee "Because yesterday was Nightmare Night, and after what happened last night with Princess Luna and Nightmare Moon, someponies did not sleep well, so Miss Cherilee give us today free" Say Apple Bloom "I understand..." Say Bugzee as he look the black kitchen "Maybe it could be good that she begin to learn with Fire instead of Earth, or this is going to happen again... Luna and Celestia have the same problem when they were fillies" Commented Nightmare Moon Bugzee begin to think about what Nightmare Moon say and then look to Nightshade "Well... At least this could help me... I help you both clean, and after we tell Applejack what happened, we are going to have the day for us" Say Bugzee to Nightshade
Black smoke come out from the kitchen!
"This can't be... Don't tell me it's that again!"
With that said, you rush into the kitchen and see Nightshade coming out from there, followed by Apple Bloom.
"How in tarnation did you burn the kitchen again? Your only task was to put the Apple Juice in the glass... I take mah eyes from you one second and the next moment the kitchen is on fire!" Says Apple Bloom.
"But I swear I did that, really, I only tried to put the juice in the glass, but suddenly a fire come out" Nightshade protests.
Such talent for destruction... That's my filly. commented Nightmare Moon in your head
You groan in annoyance as you look at Nightshade and Apple Bloom and ask,
"What are you two doing here and not in class? It's Monday! And what exactly happened?"
Apple Bloom explains,
"Well... Mr, Tennant, Nightshade wanted to cook you a breakfast... again... and somehow she convinced me. She was only supossed to put the Apple Juice from the jar to the glass as I was making everything else, but suddenly the kitchen was in fire and-"
"Wait a minute." you interrupt, "You say she was only pouring the juice from the jar to the glass?"
Both fillies nodded with their heads. Your jaw drops in shock (fortunately still held in place by face mask and scarf) and you say,
"How...?"
"It's what I always say... The unicorn curse... No unicorn can cook or be anywhere near a kitchen" Says Apple Bloom
"I can cook"! Shouted Nightshade.
"Ya can't!" Say Apple Bloom
"I can!" Say Nightshade
...
That continued during what seemed half a hour as you remember the last time they tried to cook until you snapped out of it to end their arguing,
"Okay. Leaving that aside, why are you two here and not in School?" you ask.
"It's a holiday" Says Nightshade smiling
"What?" you ask.
"Because yesterday was Nightmare Night, and after what happened last night with Princess Luna and Nightmare Moon, some ponies ain't sleeping too well, so Miss Cherilee give us today off." Say Apple Bloom
"That makes sense..." you say as you take another look at the black kitchen
Perhaps it would be best if she learned Fire instead of Earth lest this happens again... Luna and Celestia had the same problem when they were fillies Commented Nimmy.
Ignoring Nimmy, you look to Nightshade and say,
"Well... This actually came at a good time. Tell you what honey, I'll help you both clean and after we tell Applejack what happened, we're going to have the day off."
Nightshade smiles and jumps in excitement as she says,
"Thanks Daddy!"
Applebloom also gives you a thankful smile as she says,
"Thanks Mister Tennant, now let's clean this mess up before ma sister sees all this"
She gestures around the kitchen (which looks like a war field of ash and exploded food). Just as you're about to say something, you hear a very annoyed voice say behind you.
"See what?"
You gulp in and you begin to panic as you have a pretty good idea as to who is talking. Your guess is only proven more by the terrified looks of the fillies in front of you. So with a heavy heart, you slowly turn around and see...
When Bugze meet's up with Applejack she ask's him if he's alright after being shocked by Dash, and lectures him about running off like that while he's injured, and that he should take more care of himself. All while blushing.
Reference this bit from The Simpsons BURNS: We don't have to be adversaries, Homer. We both want a fair union contract. HOMER: (thinking) Why is Mr. Burns being so nice to me? BURNS: And if you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. HOMER: (thinking) Wait a minute. Is he coming onto me? BURNS: I mean, if I should slip something into your pocket, what's the harm? HOMER: (thinking) Oh my God! He is coming onto me! BURNS: After all, negotiations make strange bedfellows. (winks) HOMER: (thinking) Aah! By having Applejack request help with something, but phrases it so poorly that Bugze thinks she's trying to hit on him which scares him into taking Nightshade to the spa.
A very mad Applejack. You gulp in fear a little bit before you say
"Oh....Hi Applejack, what are you doing here?"
She gives you a deadpanned look as she says
"I live here."
You mentally facehoof at that before you say,
"Oh...right. Well I'm just gonna-"
Applejack interrupts your statement as she says
"What yall are gonna do is clean o this mess, and after that your gonna help fix something for me."
You shake your head as you say
"Sorry boss, I'll clean the kitchen but nothing else."
Applejack just sighs before she says
"Now Mistah Tennant, y'all one of my farmhoofs and you've had quite a few vacation days..."
Oh...
"But I'm willing to overlook that..."
Okay, that's good.
"But if I scratch your back, ya hafta scratch mine..."
Wait a minute... Is she hitting on me?
"I think my bed upstairs is making creaking noise so I need you to help me check..." she says with a wink.
Oh Luna... She is coming on to me! Although I wouldn't mind her showing me why it's called the cowfilly pos- NO! BAD BUG!
"Oh, I-I'd love to but... I... have... to... take Nightshade into town for that... thing! Yeah!"
With that, you quickly grab Nightshade and run out of the house. Applejack stands there confused for a few moments before her eye twitches shut causing her to put a hoof on it as she says,
"Shoot! Ah knew I shouldn't have drank that much coffee! Now how am I supposed to fix that bed?"
ONE RUN LATER
After running (with Nightshade in hoof) away from the farm and into Ponyville, you get lost. Apparently the coupon didn't have a map leading you towards the Spa so you use the more effective proven method of navigation known to Pony kind...
-you ask around town for directions.
After several minutes of asking (and several more of getting even more lost) you found the spa. You smile in happiness, Nightshade jumps up and down in excitement from her first trip to the spa, and you are both about to walk into the spa...
Take one of Zecora's transformation potions from your Potion Sash to turn yourself and Nightshade into unicorns and go to spa with Nightshade, but run into Rarity and Fluttershy in the waiting room. Get into a conversation (mainly involving Rarity, Fluttershy, and Nightshade) talking about what the spa is like and how great it is.
Buck! you think as you stop. Stupid bug! Spas require you take your clothes off which wouldn't be too bad (ponies don't wear clothes anyway) except for the fact that you're a changeling and Nightshade's a alicorn!
You're about to tell Nightshade the bad news, when you remember something else,
Stupider bug! You have those potions from Zecora, remember?!
You facehoof, causing Nightshade to look at you funny, as you think,
Why didn't I think of using those potions before!?
Sighing at your stupidity, you take out two transformation potions and as you hoof one to Nightshade you say,
"Honey, we can't go inside as ourselves for... reasons so we need to drink these potions that Zecora made for us, okay?"
She nods at your explanation, and you both chug down the potions at the same time. You see a flash come from under Nightshade's vest, so you guess that made her wings disappear. You, however, feel a tingling sensation throughout your body, so you guess it worked (2 Transformation potions remaining). With a sigh, you and Nightshade walk in and go right up to the front desk,
"Hey Aloe." you greet.
"Oh, well if it isn't the Big Daddy of the Mummy. What brings you here handsome?" Aloe flirts.
"Hehhe. so you heard about that huh?" you chuckle nervously.
"Everypony knows about the Big Daddy attacking Princess Luna after he found her with his kid. I just put two and two together."
You cough awkwardly and say,
"Well anyway, I'm here to use that free father-daughter coupon you and Lotus gave me at Pinkie's party."
"Oooooh, and here I thought you came all this way just to see me in my Nightmare Night costume, which I wouldn't mind by the way."Aloe teases.
Blood spurts out of your nose causing Aloe to giggle.
"Hahhahah, you are too much fun to mess with Mister Tennant, anyway I'll take your coupon."
You give the coupon to her as Nightshade hoofs you some napkins to clean off your noseblood.
"Thank you, Lotus will be here shortly to discuss your relaxation plan for today. Which might include a private massage from me..." she says as she punctuates it with a wink.
More blood spurts out of your nose making Aloe giggle and Nightshade roll her eyes as she gets some more napkins.
"Now please wait in the waiting room for your turn."
"Th... thank you" you stutter as you wipe the noseblood off and go into the waiting room with Nightshade.
"The nerve of some ponies, flirting like that in front of a foal!"
You look over in surprise to see both Rarity and Fluttershy sitting in the waiting room!
"Fluttershy!"
As soon as Nightshade saw Fluttershy, she ran over to her and started to talk about animals with the shy pegasus. You chuckle at her antics, and decide to have a chat with Rarity,
"Hey Rarity! I haven't talked to you since the Hydra incident. How have you've been?"
"Oh just fine Mister Tennant. Business has been booming lately thanks to my latest cloths line, hoods!"
"Hoods?" you ask in confusion.
"Oh yes, ever since that dreadful Offender came back from the dead, hoods have been the highest market value in ages! And while I may be dedicated to bringing that scoundrel to justice, I must thank him for starting this fashion spread!"
"Hehehhe yeah..." you chuckle nervously, "So what do you have against Aloe?"
Rarity rolls her eyes and says with a hint of snobbish whining,
"It's not her I dislike, it's the way she acts. A proper lady would never just 'flaunt her stuff'. She is always flirting with every stallion who comes into town and it just frustrates me to no end."
You give her a deadpan look as you comment,
"She steals all the stallions from you, doesn't she?"
This startles the fashionista,
"Wha... why I never... No just... Is it that obvious?"
"If I noticed it, then yes."
"It's just... what does she have that I don't? I'm refined, classy, a lady, moderately successful, and I keep in shape! Why do the stallions always go to her but not me?"
You look over to Fluttershy and Nightshade... to see that they're too into their conversation to notice Rarity's plight. With a sigh you try and help her... even thought you're no love doctor,
"I think... that those stallions just weren't interested in a classy person like yourself. They just wanted a mare who was free-spirited, wild, and... easy? Not a classy lady."
"Should I act like her then?" Rarity asks,
"No no no no no no!" you quickly respond before any dirty thoughts could enter your mind, "You just need to find a stallion who's interested in classy ponies. Or ones who want a committed relationship."
"I... I think your right Mister Tennant. i just need to find the right stallion for me."
You then get flashbacks to Nightmare Night and how Spike was staring at Rarity the whole night. Even when the spa twins came in to sing. You smile and say,
"Yeah, who knows. You perfect match might be a little more... scalier then you thought he would be..."
"What do you me-"
"Miss Rarity. Miss Fluttershy. You're treatments are ready." Aloe announces and gives a quick wink to you before she walks away with the two mares. As they walk away, you can't help but think,
Huh... I think I might be able to add Matchmaker to my list of skills if I play my cards right and get those two love birds together. Who knows? Maybe I can get those two fillyfoolers together so they'll be too... busy to come after me!
After a few more moments of waiting, Lotus approaches you and says,
"Okay Mister Tennant and Nightshade, your relaxation is waiting. Mister Tennant, you'll be having a mud bath followed up by a massage of your choosing, while sweet little Nightshade here will be with one of our other workers for a hooficure, a facial, and then a filly massage. Is that alright with you sir?"
You and Nightshade nod and say yes.
"Okay, I'll take your clothes and we'll guide you to the proper rooms."
You both comply and as Nightshade is being taken to her hooficure, you quickly say,
When Bugze and Nightshade get their massages, Bugze: "Oh, mr/mrs massage-pony, please go easy on my daughter there." Nightshade: "Daaddddy. I don't hurt that easy." Bugze: "That's because if I anypony tries, I hurt them even more" (Cue awwws from Aloe, Lotus, and possible other spa patrons.
"Oh, tell whoever is treating my daughter to please go easy on her."
Nightshade lets out a annoyed groan as she says,
"Daaddddy. I don't hurt that easy."
You chuckle a little bit as your eyes flash orange momentarily as you say,
"That's because if I anypony tries, *snap* I hurt them even more."
Suddenly, every mare in the waiting room and Lotus and Aloe (who just got back) say,
"Awwwwww"
You blush slightly at the awws, but you shake it off as you are lead to the mud room.
IN THE MUD ROOM
Lotus leads you into a huge room filled with mud pits. Mud pits that look so extremely comfortable that you just want to cannon ball into them, but there's something strange about this, you and Lotus are the only ones in here. You look around in confusion and ask,
"Uh Lotus, wheres everypony else?"
Lotus giggles slightly as she says,
Aloe uses her limited earthbending for a new "mud massage" technique
"I can see where you get the confusion. You see, this is our second mud room, our first one if full due to our new "mud massage" treatment."
"Mud massage?" you ask in confusion,
"It's when Aloe uses her limited Earth Manipulation to move the mud around our clients' bodies. Now I'll be back in about a hour or two so I can take you to the massage room. Enjoy your stay. Oh and I heard about your sunlight problem, so don't worry. I've taken the liberty of blocking all the windows in this room, have fun and relax!"
And with that she leaves, while all you can do is keep your jaw from hitting the floor as you think,
THIS IS THE SECOND MUD ROOM! THEY HAVE TWO, AND THE OTHER ONE IS FULL! BUT THIS PLACE IS HUGE!
You just shake off the strangeness of it all as you hop into the nearest mud bath.
splat
And. You. Feel. GREAT!
You've never felt this relaxed in so long. You can literally feel the stress leaving you. As you're soaking up this holy feeling (and most likely fall asleep), you hear...
While you relax (Let's say you're in the mud pit) Nimmy starts talking to you N: So, do you wish me to answer any of your questions at the moment? You: I…well… N: I am ready and willing You: How about we do this later tonight, I’m too relaxed right now to be thinking about any life altering revelations, last night had so many. N: Perhaps you are right, this location is rather comforting. Even I feel at ease… You: You can say that again Nimmy N: STOP CALLING ME THAT!!! You chuckle You: Aww come on, why not? N: It is demeaning and childish sounding. You: Well I don’t want to keep calling you Nightmare Moon all the time, it just doesn’t roll off the tongue that well. N: But it is my name, a name that still inspires fear to this day. You: Ya, but you’re not exactly Nightmare Moon anymore are you? N: How so? You: Well, when you and Luna were together you were Nightmare Moon, but now that you’ve been separated from her, you’re your own being. N: …I suppose that is true… You: so you should have your own Identity, you don’t have to keep living in the shadow of when you were Nightmare Moon…even if technically you are the shadow of Nightmare Moon… N: But it is all I’ve had, or known… You: Doesn’t mean you can’t change now. N: Then what moniker would you have me take? You: Oh…well…hmmm…OK, trying to come up with a name on the spot is kinda hard. N: It must be a name that suits me. One of respect and royalty. I will not be titled like a commoner or a child You: Okay okay, let me think You start thinking about what you can possible name her. I mean, she is the bucking boogey mare, even though your mental image of her has changed after seeing that well toned body that-NO BAD BUG!- Still, she is dark and brooding, and more than a little violent, yet you could say the same about most of the Mares you’ve met over the last year and a half. Maybe go for an Alicorn Angle… Well there is Celestia, Luna, and Cadance…What do all those names have in common? Well they do all end in A, if you consider Cadance’s real name Cadenza, guess that’s a pre-requisite for Alicorn Names…maybe if you combined all their names? N: Well? You: Umm…how about…Cel…Lun…Za? N: …Celunza? Really? You: Umm… hang on You swear you just had something, it sounds almost right, but what could be missing?
So, do you wish for me to answer any of your questions at the moment?
I…well…
I am ready and willing.
How about we do this later tonight, I’m too relaxed right now to be thinking about any life altering revelations, last night had so many...
Perhaps you are right. This location is rather comforting. Even I feel at ease…
You can say that again Nimmy.
STOP CALLING ME THAT!!!
You chuckle,
Aww come on, why not?
It is demeaning and childish sounding.
Well I don’t want to keep calling you Nightmare Moon all the time, it just doesn't roll off the tongue that well...
But it is my name, a name that still inspires fear to this day.
Ya, but you’re not exactly Nightmare Moon anymore are you?
How so?
Well, when you and Luna were together you were Nightmare Moon, but now that you've been separated from her, you’re your own being.
I suppose that is true…
So you should have your own Identity, you don’t have to keep living in the shadow of when you were Nightmare Moon…even if technically you are the shadow of Nightmare Moon…
But it is all I've had, or known…
Doesn't mean you can’t change now.
Then what moniker would you have me take?
Oh… well… hmmm… OK, trying to come up with a name on the spot is kinda hard.
It must be a name that suits me. One of respect and royalty. I will not be titled like a commoner or a child.
Okay okay, let me think...
You start thinking about what you can possible name her.
I mean, she is still the bucking boogey mare, even if my mental image of her has changed after seeing that well-toned body with those moon-shaped flan-NO BAD BU-
GONG
Ow... Okay, I deserved that, anyway still, she is dark and brooding, and more than a little violent, yet I could say the same about most of the Mares I’ve met over the last year and a half. Maybe I should go for an Alicorn Angle… Well there is Celestia, Luna, and Cadance…What do all those names have in common? Well two out of three do all end in A, and if I consider Cadance’s real name Cadenza, then I guess that’s a pre-requisite for Alicorn Names…maybe if I combined all their names?
Well?
Umm… how about… Cel… Lun… Za?
A few moments of awkward silence pass.
Celunza? Really? Nimmy says in an annoyed deadpan.
Umm… hang on...
You swear you just had something, it sounds almost right, but what could be missing?
"Ah buck it. I'll think of something later." you say to yourself as you decide to relax some more in the mud bath.
As you begin to relax even more so (which you didn't even think was possible), you get a sudden thought...
well Bugz is proably going to ask nimmy why he went 'tailed beast mode' on several occasions when he drew on her power. B: hey nimmy, why was it those times I drew on your power, I effectivly went into a 'tailed beast mode.' N: Took you long enough to ask... It drew on your memories to find a suitable form, and it found two in perticulor. the Kyubbie, and the Satsui no Hado... B: two separate sources of pure hatred... no wonder I went berserk... bugz then thinks about thos two sources ultimate techniques. The Bijudama, and the Shun Goku Satsui B: does that mean... N: yes, but if you tried either without drawing on at least three 'tails' of power, the backlash would most likely kill you, and by extension, me...
Hey Nimmy, why was it those times I drew on your power and used that "Nightmare Cloak", I went into what was basically a 'tailed beast mode?'
It took you long enough to ask... My power drew on your memories to find a suitable form, and it found a few in those foreign picture books you like to read...
A few separate sources of pure hatred... No wonder I went berserk... Wait, does that mean-
While it could be possible to channel my energy into attacks from your shows and series, but trying to use more powerful attacks without the sufficient amount of outlets (which you refer to as "tails") would result in a fatal backlash that would most likely kill you and, by extension, me...
You nod your head and are about to ask her another question, when you suddenly feel a wave of relaxation. You sigh in happiness, but that soon ends when she says...
S: Perhaps it wouldn’t be wise to let your guard down completely, that sultry masseuse may corner you whilst our daughter is in the other room. You: Nah, she wouldn’t do that, Night Shade is here she wouldn’t… Aloe: Hello Mr. Tennant (whispers in your ear) Blood shoots out your nose You: She would… Aloe: Are you ready for your personal deep tissue massage? (winks at you) You: Gulp… Aloe: Then follow me (giggles and sways her hips as she walks into the next room) You start sweating bullets in stress You: Oh man, oh man oh man oh man! I gotta keep it together, KEEP IT TOGETHER! Aloe: Oh and be sure to leave all your clothes by the door, you won’t be needing them… (seductively) You: Buck!
Perhaps it wouldn’t be wise to let your guard down completely, that sultry masseuse may corner you whilst our daughter is in the other room.
Nah, she wouldn’t do that. Even with all her flirting, I don't think she's the type to do a stallion while his daughter is still-
Hello Mr. Tennant... you hear whispered in your ear.
You yelp and jump out of the mud bath startled, dash into the shower, and rinse off the mud with a cold shower, never taking your eyes off Aloe. As you smirk in victory when you see Aloe pout, you think,
Okay bug, remember your saving it for marriage, just remember that and you'll be fine... and all you need to do is hope she's just escorting you to the massage room- Wait, I thought Lotus was supposed to-
"ALOE! WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT HARASSING OUR COSTUMERS!"
You jump in surprise as you see Aloe run out of the room giggling as an angry Lotus walks into the room.
"AND YOU STILL HAVE CUSTOMERS TO MUD MASSAGE!!!" Lotus yells after her sister before she sighs, turns to you, and says,
"Sorry about that mister Tennant, you know how... forceful my sister can be."
You chuckle in awkwardness as you say,
"Yeah... so massage room right?"
Lotus nods her head and motions you to follow her. As you follow her to the massage room, you begin to walk by some steam rooms, but one of them suddenly opens and someling pulls you in! You didn't hear a thing but you're pretty sure the door closed so Lotus probably doesn't know you're missing. You get off from the floor and you look around in panic as you say,
"Hey! Who did that!?"
You just hear someling giggle, which causes you to panic even more. You then start to say,
"Who's there! I mean it, I know how to kick butt, just ask... somepony I beat up... which is alot... this is definitely the truth!"
You just hear another giggle... from right behind you! You slowly turn around in terror and see-
Aloe would be too obvious so its Fluttershy who pulled u in.
You slowly turn around, terrified of what you might see, and see...
Fluttershy giving you a sweet "I can't believe it's actually you" smile. You look at her strangely as you say with a stutter,
"Fluttershy? Wh... Why did you drag me in he-"
Your question is interrupted as Fluttershy tackle-hugs you to the ground... tightly and says,
F: Bugze, I’m so glad you’re back You: Um…I’m not Bugze, I’m Baker Sylvester… F: (Looks at you pointedly) You: Sigh, fine, yes it’s me Fluttershy continues to hug you to the point of rib cracking. F: Oh Bugze, I knew it, I just knew it was you. You: OK OK, I need air F: Sorry (let’s go) You: OK. Anyway, you can’t tell anyone alright? F: Oh, alright…but still, I can’t believe it’s actually you. Boy, Applejack is sure gonna feel silly when she finds out she has a crush on you… You: Yeeeeaaahhh…if she finds out, she’s probably gonna feel even more awkward than you think… F: Huh? You really don’t feel like explaining the Whole “The Apples are My Kin” situation at this point in time. You: Nothing…but yeah, promise you won’t say anything. F: Don’t worry, I pinkie promise I won’t You: Thanks (you smile) F: But Bugze, what exactly do you think you are doing living here? I thought you’d go back into hiding far away. You: (Sigh) It’s complicated. Let’s just say I owe a certain Immortal Time Traveler big time, and I need to be his eyes and ears in Ponyville for awhile. F: Oh, does this have anything to do with Derpy and her friend? You: I…can’t really say much about it F: Oh, it’s Ok…that’s what she says as well. Every time I asked if you were OK, she’d just say Spoilers. You: Yeah…anyway, I’m surprised you’re the first to figure it out. I mean, even I admit I’m not very subtle about who I am. F: Well…to be honest, I only just knew right now when I hugged you and had you admit it… You: What?! F: Well…I mean, everytime I’ve seen you as Tennant, I always thought there was something familiar about you, and Night Shade too. Something at the back of my mind told me I knew who you were, but then I would dismiss it. You: Then…how? F: Well, last night you showed me your face, but even then I kept trying to dismiss it, so I forced myself to remember, and that’s why I cornered you here to prove to myself it was you. NM: A perception filter You: Huh? NM: She is describing the effects of a perception filter. There must be one upon us and Night Shade that makes those who have seen and know us before to turn a blind eye and doubt their senses. You: So that’s why everyone just kind of accepted that I was a new pony with a medical condition and not me in disguise…and why the Deadly Six didn’t recognize Night Shade…I didn’t even hide her name. NM: Now our situation begins to make more sense…though I don’t sense any spellcraft… You: The Doctor! NM: What? You: The Doctor doesn’t use magic, he uses technology, he must have done something to Night Shade and I to help us blend in better. NM: So the only way to break the enchantment is to blatantly reveal yourself, as you did to her last night you fool You: heh heh, yeah, not too bright on my part NM: You can say that again… F: Bugze? (Waves hoof in front of his face) You: yeah? F: Are you alright? You kind of just faded out. You: Yeah I’m fine, just thinking. F: Oh, OK, well if you’re busy thinking I can just go… You: No, wait, don’t go! I need to talk to you. F: Oh…OK You: Listen, I know you’re the president of the Horde here in Ponyville F: Oh…well…I didn’t mean to be the president You: What? F: Well, I just kind of wanted to let ponies know you were a good person. Then word spread, and since I was the first, well…they appointed me leader. You: Well you’re doing fantastic at it F: Th-Thanks. But really, if it weren’t for Spike’s organizational skills, I wouldn’t be as good. He really helps a lot. You: Yeah, he’s a good kid…but anyway, back on topic, I need your help. F: OK You: I spoke with Princess Luna last night. She is kind of downgraded on my most hated list right now since I found out the real reason behind the whole “Kill Night Shade” thing…it’s complicated, but still, she told me that Horde Members have been speaking about starting a Revolution F: Oh…My…that’s not good You: Exactly. I don’t know if there’s been talks about that in Ponyville or not, but I need you to find out. F: Oh…OK, I guess I could call a meeting tonight…just a small one with the elite members though, because too many ponies in one place would make Pinkie suspicious. You: How many members are there? F: Well…the way Spike explained it, we aren’t the biggest faction when it comes to numbers, but when it comes to members per population, Ponyville has the biggest percentage. You: OK…now explain that to me again as if I have brain damage NM: That shouldn’t be hard on her part You: Can it Nimmy NM: Grrr… F: Oh, well, I think that during our last poll, more than half of Ponyville was in support of you. Your jaw drops… You: Daaaannnngggg…..(awed) Fluttershy giggles You: OK, yeah, just the elite members I guess F: Alright, I’ll have Spike send out the invitations tonight. Keep an eye out for yours You: Will do…also, I’m gonna need you to speak with the leaders of the other factions, to let them know not to cause a revolution. F: Oh…well…I can send them each a letter I suppose…but I don’t really hold any sway over them…I don’t think they’d listen to me. You: please try Fluttershy, I don’t want anyone starting a war in my name. F: OK…I’ll try. You: Thanks Fluttershy, I knew I could always count on you. You pull her into a hug You: Hail the Horde F: Hail the Horde You are both interrupted by a shriek Rarity: FLUTTERSHY! You/F: EEP! You both turn around and see the Twins and Rarity giving shocked looks, while Lotus covers Night Shade’s eyes Rarity: What are you doing? You: Oh well… F: W-we were just… Aloe: tch tch tch…naughty naughty Ms. Fluttershy F: Wha-No! We Weren’t… You: I swear! I didn’t… NS: What’s going on Daddy? You: Nothing! Rarity: Oh I just knew one day Aloe’s stories and advice would corrupt you…this is all my fault for bringing you here. Aloe: Corrupt? More like inspired… Lotus: Quiet Aloe, this is all your fault, you just had to go and get him all riled up didn’t you? Rarity: He’s a single father Fluttershy! Sure he’s easy on the eyes, but you can’t just go throwing yourself at him like that! F: Wha…but…I! Eeep…(hides behind mane)
"Oh Hoody, I’m so glad you’re back."
"Um…I’m not this 'Hoody' of which you speak. I assure you that I have and always will be Baker Sylvester-"
You stop when Fluttershy gives you a pointed look. You sigh in defeat and come clean,
"Fine, yes it’s me."
Fluttershy continues to hug you,
"Oh Hoody, I knew it, I just knew it was you..."
"I'm happy to see you too Fluttershy, but maybe that's enough hugging?"
Fluttershy's eyes widen and she blushes as she says a quick "Sorry" and lets go of you.
"OK. Anyway, you can’t tell anypony who I really am, alright?" you tell her.
"I would never do that to you Bugze, but still, I can’t believe it’s actually you. Boy, Applejack is sure gonna feel silly when she finds out she has a crush on you…"
"Yeeeeaaahhh… if she finds out, she’s probably gonna feel even more awkward than you think…" you say as you rub your hoof behind your head.
"Huh?" Fluttershy says in confusion,
You really don’t feel like explaining the Whole “The Apples are my kin” situation at this point in time so you reply,
"Nothing… but yeah, I trust you, but can you promise me you won’t say anything to anypony about who I really am?"
"Don’t worry, I pinkie promise I won’t"
"Thanks." you say with a smile as you and Fluttershy perform the Pinkie Promise motions.
"But Bugze, what exactly do you think you are doing living here? I thought you’d go back into hiding far away?" Fluttershy asks.
You sigh and explain,
"It’s... complicated. Let’s just say I owe a certain Immortal Time Traveler big time, and I need to be his eyes and ears in Ponyville for awhile."
"Oh, does this have anything to do with Derpy and her friend?"
"I… can’t really say much about it. Sorry,"
You feel bad for not being able to tell her more, but Fluttershy is one of your few true friends and you don't want to burden her with your misadventures.
"Oh, it’s okay…that’s what she says as well. Every time I asked if you were okay, she’d just say 'Spoilers'."
"Yeah, that sounds like her… Anyway, I’m surprised you’re the first to figure it out. I mean, even I admit I’m that I haven't exactly been subtle about who I am."
"Well… to be honest, I only just knew right now when I hugged you and had you admit it…"
You lay there confused for a few moments before you give a flat,
"What?!"
"Well… I mean, every time I've seen you as Tennant, I always thought there was something familiar about you, and Nightshade too. Something at the back of my mind told me I knew who you were, but then I would dismiss it."
"Then… how?"
"Well, last night you showed me your face, but even then I kept trying to dismiss it, so I forced myself to remember, and that’s why I cornered you here to prove to myself it was you."
A perception filter... Nimmy chimes in,
Huh?
She is describing the effects of a perception filter. There must be one upon us and Night Shade that makes those who have seen and know us before to turn a blind eye and doubt their senses.
So that’s why everyone just kind of accepted that I was a new pony with a medical condition and not a disguise… and why the Deadly Six didn't recognize Nightshade- Oh buck, I just realized I never even bothered to hide her name!
Imbecile! But now our situation begins to make more sense… though I don’t sense any spells-
The Doctor!
What?
The Doctor doesn't use magic, he uses technology. He must have done something to Nightshade and I to help us blend in better.
So the only way to break the enchantment is to blatantly reveal yourself... as you did to her last night you fool.
Heh heh, yeah, not too bright on my part...
You can say that again…
"Hoody...? Bugze?"
You suddenly realize that Fluttershy has been saying your name while waving a hoof in front of your face. Snapping out of it, you say the most intelligent response you could think of,
"Huh?"
"Are you alright? You kind of just faded out." Fluttershy asks in concern.
"Yeah I’m fine, just thinking."
She looks a little saddened and prepares to get up and leave while saying,
"Oh, OK, well if you’re busy thinking I can just go-"
"No, wait, don’t go!" you interrupt startling her a bit so you apologize, "Sorry, but I need to talk to you."
"Oh… OK."
"Listen, I know you’re the president of the Horde here in Ponyville-"
"Oh… well… I didn't mean to be the president." she interrupts shyly,
"What?"
"Well, I just kind of wanted to let ponies know you were a good pony-er bug. Then word spread, and since I was the first, well… they appointed me leader."
"Well you’re doing fantastic at it." you compliment causing her to blush a little,
"Th-Thanks. But really, if it weren't for Spike’s organizational skills, the Horde would have fallen apart. He really helps a lot."
"Yeah, he’s a good kid. I should visit him sometime, but anyway, back on topic; I really need your help."
"Okay. What do you need?" she asks with determination,
"I spoke with Princess Luna last night. She's kind of downgraded on my "most hated list" right now since I found out the real reason I've hated her isn't what it seemed... it’s complicated, but still, she told me that Horde Members have been speaking about starting a rebellion."
Fluttershy gasps and says in alarm,
"Oh my… that’s not good! Many ponies and animals could get hurt!"
"Exactly. I don’t know if there’s been talk about that in Ponyville or not, but I need you to find out."
"OK, I guess I could call a meeting tonight… just a small one with the elite members though, because too many ponies in one place would make Pinkie suspicious."
"How many members are there?"
"Well… the way Spike explained it, we aren't the biggest faction when it comes to numbers, but when it comes to members per population, Ponyville has the biggest percentage."
"OK…" you say uncertainly, "Now explain that to me again as if I have brain damage."
That shouldn't be hard on her part
Can it Nimmy.
Grrr…
"Oh, well, I think that during our last poll, a little over half of Ponyville have a favorable opinion of you. And that's just the anonymous poll."
Your jaw drops as you say in awe,
"Daaaannnngggg..."
Fluttershy giggles at what you said snapping you out of it,
"OK, yeah, just the elite members I guess."
"Alright, I’ll have Spike send out the invitations tonight. Keep an eye out for yours."
"Will do… also, I’m gonna need you to speak with the leaders of the other factions, to let them know not to cause a revolution."
"Oh… well… I can send them each a letter I suppose… but the Horde factions work separately from each other so I don’t really hold any sway over them… I don’t think they’d listen to me..."
"Please try Fluttershy, I don’t want anyone starting a war in my name." you say in determination.
"OK… I’ll try." she responds uncertainly, but with determination.
"Thanks Fluttershy, I knew I could always count on you."
You pull her into a hug and whisper,
"Hail the Horde."
She hugs back and whispers,
"Hail the Horde."
You know, the last times she's hugged me I always had my coat on, but now she feels REALLY good on- NO! VERY BAD BUG!!!
"FLUTTERSHY! HAVE YOU NO SHAME!"
"I wanted him first..."
You both "EEEP!" at the sounds and turn your heads around to see the Twins and Rarity giving you both shocked looks,
"What are you doing?" Rarity demands/asks,
You and Fluttershy then suddenly realize you've both been lying on the floor together this whole time so you both nervously bolt back up to standing,
"Oh well…"
"W-we were just…"
"Tch tch tch… naughty naughty Miss Fluttershy," Aloe teases.
"Wha-No! We Weren't…"
"I swear! I didn't…"
You and Fluttershy stammer with blushes on your faces.
"Oh, I just knew one day Aloe’s loose behavior would corrupt you… I'm so sorry darling, this is all my fault for bringing you here," Rarity says.
Aloe looks at Rarity in offense and says,
"Corrupt? More like inspire-"
"Quiet Aloe, this is all your fault!" Lotus interrupts, "You just had to go and get him all excited, didn't you?"
"He’s a single father Fluttershy! Sure he’s easy on the eyes, but you can’t just go throwing yourself at him like that!" Rarity scolds,
"Wha…but…I! Eeep…" Fluttershy stammers as she hides behind her mane,
You blush like crazy and your nose bleeds a bit at what's happening, but you can't help but think angrily,
I can't believe they would think me and Fluttershy did... that! I'm saving it for stinking marriage! Seriously, I need to say that out loud or something some day so ponies can get it though their thick skulls that I'M SAVING IT FOR BUCKING MARRIAGE! And besides, Fluttershy is wayyyyyy to innocent to have those kinds of thoughts. Although Fluttershy is supermodel-level attractive and feels really- NO! VERY BAD BUG! I gotta put a stop to this before they give Fluttershy a heart attack... or break me to pieces judging from Rarity's intense glare directed at me.
You scoot away in fear a little bit from how intense Rarity is glaring at you, but you shake it off and are about to set things straight when you hear a sweet little voice say,
"Whats going on?"
Everyling freezes in slight terror at the sound of your daughter's innocent voice and they all (besides you and Fluttershy since your both already facing the door) turns around and...
You turn to see who it is, but nearly have a heart attack at what you see. "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHhhh!" you scream and point a trembling hoof at the monstrosity standing there. "Oh dear, is everything alright darling?" it tries to ask over your screams, but all you can focus on is its pasty, peeling, zombified face wrapped in seaweed like the monster from the black lagoon and the soulless vegetable eyes bulging from its skull. "AAAAAAAAAHHHHhh!" you continue exorcising your lungs and stumble backwards. Not able to pay attention to where you're going, you fall into one of the hot tubs. "Oh, my face treatment. I do apologies for the scare." Rarity says as she pulls off the cucumbers and tries to help you out of the tub. "AAAABLUB-GLUBL-GARBLE-BLARGLE!" you scream and flail underwater as the monster pulls off its eyes and tries to drown you. But you won't let it win, you're too young to die! You have so much to live for! So much that you've yet to accomplish. In fact, you feel so determined to live, you feel like screaming everything you're going to do once you get out alive. (the following translated from underwater screaming) "You won't take me alive! Not here... not like this, you here me?! I am going to enjoy this complimentary spa treatment, go back to the farm and sleep, wake up for work the next day and complain about how hard it is, and then get paid! Then I'll likely spend that money on food 'cause I'm running low and I don't want my daughter to starve! Then I'm going to... going to... why is everything fading to black?" "Because you're an idiot who tried to talk underwater." you hear Nimmy chide you before you lose consciousness. [Several CPR sessions later] You hear an argument taking place as you come to. "It's my turn!" "No it's my turn." "You've had your turn twice, let somepony else do it for once." You open your eyes to see Aloe, Lotus and Fluttershy standing over you, with Aloe apparently laying down some rules. "We go in line; It goes you then me then Fluttershy, back down to me, then you. Then me, then me. Then you, Flutters, me, Flutters, me, me, me Flutters, you... and then me. And then me again." she spouts off before all three realize you're awake.
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHhhh!" you scream and point a trembling hoof at the monstrosity standing there.
"What is it Daddy??" it tries to ask over your screams and the mares in the room look at you in startled alarm, but all you can focus on is its pasty, peeling, zombified face wrapped in seaweed like the monster from the black lagoon and the soulless vegetable eyes bulging from its skull.
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHhh!" you continue exorcising your lungs and stumble backwards. Not able to pay attention to where you're going, *splash* you fall into one of the hot tubs. The creature pulls off the cucumbers and tries to help you out of the tub.
"AAAABLUB-GLUBL-GARBLE-BLARGLE!" you scream and flail underwater as the monster pulls off its eyes and tries to drown you. But you won't let it win, you're too young to die! You have so much to live for! So much that you've yet to accomplish. In fact, you feel so determined to live, you feel like screaming everything you're going to do once you get out alive (the following has been roughly translated from underwater screaming),
"You'll never take me alive! Not bucking here! Not like this, you here me mohterbucker?! I am going to enjoy this complimentary spa treatment, go back to the farm and sleep, wake up for work the next day and complain about how hard it is, and then get paid! Then I'll likely spend that money on food 'cause I'm running low and I don't want my daughter to starve! Then I'm going to- why is everything fading to black?"
Because you're an idiot who tried to talk underwater. you hear Nimmy chide you before you lose consciousness...
SOME TIME LATER
Your vision clears as you feel warmth on your lips and air being blown in, but the feeling suddenly disappears and you hear an argument taking place as you come to,
"It's my turn!"
"No it's still my turn!"
"Um... You've had your turn twice, so maybe you should let somepony else do..."
You open your eyes to see Aloe, Lotus and Fluttershy standing over you, with Aloe apparently laying down some rules.
What they were really arguing over flies over your head as usual and you just think they were arguing over who should save you, so you say,
"*cough* You know I could have drowned *hack* while you mares were arguing over who should save me right?"
The mares give a startled gasp when they see that you're not unconscious anymore. You slowly get up to see Rarity and Nightshade in the back with relived expressions on their faces. Nightshade runs over and tackles you-
*splash*
...back into the tub again while screaming,
"DADDY! YOU'RE OKAY!"
You chuckle slightly as you get up, while patting her on the head. Once you're up and Nightshade clams down, you think the worst is over, that is until Aloe says,
"So Miss Fluttershy, how was Mr Tennant?"
Fluttershy suddenly gets the deepest blush you've ever seen and it looks like the mares are going to start arguing again. You start to get really annoyed at this so you shout in annoyance,
You: OK, enough of this. EVERYONE THIS WAS ALL JUST A BAD DREAM! You hold up the Luna plushie and knock out all the mares, excluding Night Shade. NS: Daddy, what’s going on? You: Nothing Honey, just a big misunderstanding. Now quickly, get in the mud baths with me before they wake up. You leave a note on Fluttershy reminding her about the meeting and you and Night Shade go back into the mud. When they wake up, they don’t really remember what they were doing, so they proceed with their schedules. Though Fluttershy holds up the note and winks at you, so she still knows the plan.
"That's it... EVERYPONY, THIS WAS ALL JUST A BAD DREAM!"
With that, you hold up the Luna plushie (that was conventionally lying on the floor of the room for some reason, but you didn't have time for little details like that) and knock out all the mares, excluding Nightshade who asks,
"Daddy, what’s going on?"
"Nothing Honey, just a big misunderstanding. Now quickly, put away the plushie and go back to your treatment before they wake up."
Nightshade says "Okay daddy" before grabbing the plushie and leaving and you quickly write and leave a note on Fluttershy reminding her about the meeting. Once Nightshade has left and you've hidden the note in Fluttershy's mane, you gently shake the mares to wake them up before quickly dashing out of the room.
When they wake up, they don’t really remember what they were doing, so they proceed with their schedules. As Lotus escorts you to the massage room for the second time (with Lotus swearing she did this already) you see Fluttershy and Rarity getting escorted to somewhere else (you guess their next relaxation center) with Aloe who's... blushing alot as she shoots quick looks at you? You look at her in confusion and think,
Why is she... oh right. Knock out plushie that gives the ponies good dreams... Oooooooh.
You blush a little, figuring out something for once in your life, cause you think you have a good idea of what Aloe considers a... good dream. As you walk by them, Fluttershy quickly pauses, checks to see if nopony is looking, and gives you a wink as she holds up the note you gave her. You nod your head in understanding and continue to follow Lotus when you both hear someling yell,
Nightshade keeps eating the cucumbers much to [character name here]'s annoyance.
"PLEASE STOP EATING THE CUCUMBERS! YOU'VE EMPTIED OUR WHOLE STOCK!"
You sigh as you think,
Why do I get the feeling that this is Nightshade's fault...
As if on cue, you hear Nightshade yell,
"I CAN'T HELP IT! THEY TASTE SO GOOD!"
You and Lotus look at each other and Lotus says,
"Your daughter has quite the appetite."
"Yeah... I'lllll pay you back... somehow." you say uncertainly as Lotus gives you a quick look of pity before continuing to guide you to the massage room.
As you walk to the massage room, you walk by a mirror. You stop by it to get a good look at yourself and see...
Look in a mirror to see your disguised form (a unicorn with orange mane and tail, normal blue eyes, and a shade of dark grey that's just lighter than your normal changeling shell), when you notice that u got a Cutie Mark (couldn't tell before due to wearing pants)!
A unicorn stallion with orange mane and tail, normal blue eyes, and a shade of dark grey that's just lighter than your normal changeling shell. But what really catches your attention is... you have a cutie mark!
You stare at it in wonder, but for some reason it just looks... off. It looks like this, but with the black part being the same color as the nightmare cloak (midnight blue). You stare at it in worry, before shaking it off,
Meh, it's probably just part of the transformation potion. Changelings don't get Cutie Marks unless they're impersonating someling, and I could never seem to make one pop up anyway.
And with that you follow Lotus into the massage room...
After the touching reunion/mind blowing revelation/mad, passionate love scene/of the sauna, Lotus finally gets you settled down for a massage. "How does that feel, Mr. Tennant?" "Ughhh..." She giggles. "Glad to hear it!" You mentally thank Zecora for the potions again. There is no way you could have held a disguise under this feeling. Just know that I have the gong at the ready. Uh oh. You search for a mental distraction, but the only thing on your mind is... "So what's your story?" Lotus stops for a moment. "Me? Ha! Usually this is the other way around." You grin at your sudden good fortune. Your secrets would have no defense under this mare's touch. "Ponyville isn't exactly an obvious choice for a grand spa like this." She giggles again. "Grand? Oh, you should see where we trained at Las Pegasus. The guests could choose between hot tubs plated in gold or silver. Real gold and silver!" "So how did you go from there to here?" "I smelled opportunity." Her hooves gently move down your back again. "I figured all the mares in a farming town might enjoy a day of luxury every week or so. Save for Miss Rarity, I was wrong." "Yeah, I have a hard time seeing Applejack being a regular here." "Truthfully, if it wasn't for Aloe, we wouldn't have stayed. She found the market we needed." You raise an eyebrow. "Are you talking about the stallions?" "Yes. All that strain on their muscles needs to be released, and a sultry mare is often enough to convince them they need it." Her hooves stop near your hind legs. "She really is a sweet girl. This new persona of hers only came out because we needed the business. I hope you don't hold that against her." "I know a thing or two about desperation." "Is that so? Then may I ask what you think of Aloe?" You blush and stammer for a bit. "Yes, she does have that effect on stallions. There's just one more thing, Mr. Tennant." Lotus grabs one of your hind legs and pulls it up to your head, bending your back the wrong way. She ignores your screams and crouches down to hiss in your ear. "You also know a thing or two about protecting a loved one. She is my sister. If you hurt her, you will not be safe in Ponyville. Am I clear?" "YES! YES! CRYSTAL!"
"How does that feel, Mr. Tennant?" Lotus asks in her accent as her hooves rub your back.
"Urblblurblgaarblduh..." you incomprehensibly mumble in relaxed pleasure.
"Glad to hear it!" she giggles,
Thank you Zecora. There's no WAY I could have held a disguise under this feeling. You know, Aloe is definitely attractive and Lotus is her twin sister so-
Just know that I have the gong at the ready.
Uh oh...
You search for a mental distraction, but the only thing on your mind is...
"So... what's your story?"
Lotus stops for a moment in confusion before responding,
"Me? Ha! Usually this is the other way around."
You grin at your sudden good fortune as your secrets would have no defense under this mare's touch.
"Well, Ponyville isn't exactly an obvious choice for a grand spa like this." you point out.
She giggles again.
"Grand? Oh, you should see where we trained at in Las Pegasus. The guests could choose between hot tubs plated in gold or silver. Real gold and silver!"
Genuinely intrigued, you ask,
"Interesting. So how did you go from there to here?"
"I smelled opportunity." Her hooves gently move down your back again. "I figured all the mares in a farming town might enjoy a day of luxury every week or so. Save for Miss Rarity, I turned out to be wrong."
"Yeah, I have a hard time seeing Applejack being a regular here."
"Truthfully, if it wasn't for Aloe, we wouldn't have stayed. She found the market we needed."
You raise an eyebrow and ask,
"You talking about the stallions?"
"Yes." She sighs, "All that strain on their muscles needs to be released, and a sultry mare is often enough to convince them they need it."
Her hooves stop near your hind legs as she continues,
"She really is a sweet girl. This new persona of hers only came out because we needed the business. I hope you don't hold that against her."
"I know a thing or two about desperation..." You mutter.
"Is that so? Then may I ask what you think of Aloe?" she teases.
You blush and stammer for a bit, but Lotus speaks before you can say anything,
"Yes, she does have that effect on stallions. There's just one more thing, Mr. Tennant. Just like how Miss Rarity and Miss Octavia took Karate classes, me and my sister are quite skilled in Jujutsu or Neighponese grappling..."
"I've seen enough anime to- Yahhh!"
Lotus suddenly grabs one of your hind legs and pulls it up to your head, bending your back the wrong way. She ignores your screams and crouches down to hiss in your ear.
"Mr. Tennant, you know a thing or two about protecting a loved one so know this; Aloe is my sister. If you hurt her, you will not be safe in Ponyville. Am I clear?"
"YES! YES! CRYSTAL! UNCLE!" you scream as you repeatedly bang your hoof on the table in submission.
She lets go of your legs as she cheerfully says,
"Good, I'm glad we're on the same page."
After you take a few seconds of deep breathing to recover, you ask,
After Lotus releases you, you ask why Aloe seems to be "super-flirt" towards you and Lotus responds
"Quick question, if Aloe's flirting is just an act, how come she seems to be super-tease towards me?"
Lotus gets a contemplative look on her face before saying,
"I honestly don't know. While she teases and flirts with stallions, she's never kissed any of them before, so yesterday was a surprise for me too when she kissed you. And I was even more surprised when she still flirted with you so openly when you entered the spa, normally her flirting is more subtle and less frequent when the stallions have already entered. She must really like you Mister Tennant."
"Oh..." you say with a blush, but then you notice Lotus giving you a stern glare causing your joints and back to slightly sting from memory so you quickly stammer,
"I got it! I got it! I'll be a eunuch around her!"
Lotus gives an approving nod before saying,
"Good. Now, what would you like to have for a massage, numbers 1, 2, 3, or 4?"
You look at her in confusion as you ask,
"But... didn't you just give me my massage?"
She chuckles lightly and says,
"Oh no no no. That was just so I had you attention when I gave you my... message. Now what will you take?"
Your fear of this mare just increased by ten fold from that sentence, but you snap out of it as you say,
"I'll have the-"
When asked what kind of massage you want (just numbered 1-4) you decide on a 4 seeing how you're probably really tense from your misadventures and logically, 4 should be the highest massage (and it turns out a 4 requires both Lotus AND Aloe). When you go to Room 6, you see both Aloe and Lotus there... lathered in a thin sheen of massage oil and speaking in seductive harmony. Your oblivious to it at first as they activate the steam and pour oil on you until Nimmy chimes in. They're trying to seduce you, you imbecile. Don't be silly. Lotus isn't interested in me so this is just a massa- Wait... Bodies lathered in massage oil, speaking in harmony, door locked... Oh Luna... IT'S THAT "HAPPY ENDING" THAT GRANDBUGGY IS ALWAYS BLABBING ABOUT!!! "On second thought, m-maybe I'll just take the 3, or even a 2!" you say nervously "Too late Mister Tennant." Lotus says teasingly, "Once your number's up, there's no going back." "First time, huh?" Aloe teases. "We'll be gentle..." Oh Luna... these twin mares lathered in oil that shimmers off their nubile bodies want to- Wait, this is every stallions' fantasy! Why do I NOT want it to-NO! BAD BUG! CURSE YOU GRANDBUGGY'S PLAYCOLT GENES!!! The twin mares get closer and closer... and then you feel two weights on your back as they both jump on your back and Lotus grabs your back limbs while Aloe grabs your front limbs and they start folding and crunching you like a pretzel of pain. In spite of that... extreme massage (or even because of it), you feel really great afterwards. NOTE: The above exchange is based on the exellent changeling-based fanfic: The Incredibly Stressful Life of a Ponyvillian Changeling
"4."
Lotus looks at you uncertainly and asks,
"Mister Tennant, this is your first time in our spa. Are you sure you want a 4? It requires both me and my sister."
You briefly flash back to your misadventures in the past week (and the Jujutsu-ing of your leg and back from a few moments ago) and when you're done you bluntly reply,
"I'm sure."
With that, Lotus pours some water in the coals to create some steam before leaving the room. After a few minutes, she returns with Aloe... and they're both lathered in a thin sheen of massage oil that glistens on their bodies.
*spurt* "S-sorry bout that!" you quickly say as you wipe off the noseblood. The twin mares giggle as they lock the door behind them and say in harmony,
"Don't worry, it happens to alot of stallions..."
"Ready or not, here we come..."
You shrug and lay back down on your stomach and are oblivious to their double meanings at first as they pour oil on you until Nimmy chimes in.
These strumpets are trying to seduce you, you imbecile.
Nimmy, that's not nice. And don't be silly, Lotus isn't interested in me so this is just a mass- Wait... Bodies lathered in massage oil, speaking in harmony, door locked... Oh Luna... IT'S THAT "HAPPY ENDING" THAT GRANDBUGGY IS ALWAYS BLABBING ABOUT!!!
"On second thought, m-maybe I'll just take the 3, or even a 2!" you say nervously.
"Too late Mister Tennant." Lotus says teasingly, "Once your number's up, there's no going back."
"First time, huh?" Aloe teases. "We'll be gentle..."
Oh Luna... these twin mares lathered in oil that shimmers off their nubile bodies want to- Wait, this is every stallions' fantasy! Why do I NOT want it to-NO! BAD BUG! CURSE YOU GRANDBUGGY'S PLAYCOLT GENES!!! AND I'M SAVING IT FOR MARRIAGE!
The twin mares get closer and closer, walking in giggling harmony...
*thump, thump, STRETCH*
...and then you feel two weights on your back as they both jump on the middle of your back. Lotus grabs your back limbs while Aloe grabs your front limbs and they proceed to start folding and crunching you like a pretzel of pain, your agonized cries blocked out by the soundproofed room...
ONE PAINFUL YET SURPRISINGLY RELAXING MASSAGE LATER
"Luna, I feel REALLY relaxed." you comment as Nightshade, Fluttershy, and Rarity nod in agreement as the four of you walk out of the spa together (you and Nightshade put your clothes back on). Fluttershy's and Rarity's relaxation ended around the same time your's and Nightshade's did and Rarity responds,
"It's like I always say, an afternoon at the spa can do wonders for your complexion. Speaking of which, I think I feel a pimple coming on. Oh! Only one solution!"
With that Rarity runs back into the spa, but you don't care as you feel to relaxed to care. Despite how painful the number 4 massage was, you still feel complete and utter relaxation right now. You smile and think,
Nothing could cause this relaxation to go away. Nothing could cause me to do something to let this relaxation disappear. Nothing at al-
"LOOK OUT BELOW!"
...
"Buck you lady luck..." you mutter before all three of you look up and see Rainbow Dash in an out of control descent to the ground... and heading straight for Fluttershy! Without even thinking you dive and push Fluttershy out of the way, but you couldn't move in time...
*CRASH*
*CRACK*
After a few moments of blackness, you open your eyes from your downed position to see...
Fluttershy covering Nightshade's eyes and holding the filly close while staring at you in stunned horror with watery eyes. You look at her in confusion as you ask,
"What? Is there something on my scarf?"
Fluttershy just points wordlessly at you in horror. You look at her in confusion as you look at yourself and see...
Rainbow Dash lying on her back unconscious, on top of you, with her wing bent at on odd angle while your limbs are... Pointing backwards... in the wrong directions...
You look back at Fluttershy with a deadpan expression and nonchalantly ask,
AAAAAHH wait i can rotate the bones back in place like in the movies... if it works in the movies it gotta work in real life?.... AAAAAAHHAAAAHH EVEN MORE PAIN
"-OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"
You continue to scream in pain as Fluttershy looks at you in horror.
"Daddy! What's wrong!?" Nightshade yells in worry as she tries to wiggle out of Fluttershy's grasp, but apparently Fluttershy has a iron grip when she's scared. Your scream starts to die down as you think,
Oh sweet Luna this hurts! I feel like my limbs and shoulders are gonna fall off! There's gotta be some way I can numb the pain...
*ding*
You give a pained smile as you think,
I got it! I can pop my bones back into place like in all those action movies I watch! If it works in movies, then it must work in real life too! I'm a smart bug!
With your plan in mind, you use your least broken foreleg and grab your back left leg. Fluttershy looks at you in worry and says,
"Uh Mister Tennant. What are you doi-"
*CRACK*
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NOW THERE'S EVEN MORE PAIN! I AM NOT A SMART BUG! OH SWEET LUNA THE PAIN! AHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Fluttershy just stares at you in horror as she says,
"Hood- I mean Mister Tennant! What on earth made you think that was a good idea!"
You look over to her and weakly say...
"Movies, Fluttershy... movies made it sound like a good idea..."
Suddenly, the situation hits you like a vase of rocks dropped from above (old bullying incident) as you start to think,
Wait a minute, Broken limbs? Bodily harm? Massive internal bleeding?! There's only one thing to do!
Wait a minute, Broken limbs? Bodily harm? Massive internal bleeding?! There's only one thing to do! With this thought in your mind, you do what video games have taught you. You crawl over to the nearest chest-high wall and sit against it while making throaty grunts and deep, painful breathing noises. "Uh, Bugz- I mean, Mister Tennant, what are you doing?" Fluttershy asks, extremely concerned. "I'm taking cover while waiting for my health to regenerate." you tell her what should have been obvious, clearly she's not a hardcore gamer like you. "Daddy, that doesn't work in real life." Nightshade lets you know "Button Mash told me so, and he knows form experience." You can't help but growl at the thought of a colt not only undermining your innovative use of video game logic, but also teaching your daughter something you didn't. But you know you have a chance for redemption in this light, as there is one other thing that can be done, something team-based shooters have never failed you on. You take a deep breath and shout "MEEEDIIIC!" as loud as you can. Within seconds, a pair of muscly stallions rush around the corner with a stretcher and carry you off to the hospital while a second pair come to collect the rainbow fillyfooler.
With this thought in your mind, you do what video games have taught you. With the fillyfooler still unconscious on your back, you drag yourself over to the nearest chest-high wall and lean against it while making throaty grunts and deep, painful breathing noises.
"Uh, Bugz- I mean, Mister Tennant, what are you doing?" Fluttershy asks, extremely concerned.
"I'm taking cover while waiting for my health to regenerate." you tell her what should have been obvious, clearly she's not a hardcore gamer like you.
"Daddy, that doesn't work in real life." Nightshade says, "Button Mash told me so, and he knows from experience."
You can't help but growl as you think,
How dare some colt teach MY baby something that I didn't know, I was gaming before he was ever even born! *DING* Wait, if normal shooters don't work, then the key must be team-based shooters...
Within seconds, a pair of muscly stallions rush around the corner with a stretcher and carry you off to the hospital while a second pair come to collect the rainbow fillyfooler.
Works every time... Unless the other team was taught to kill the medic first... you think.
As you are taken off towards the hospital, you can see Pinkie and Twilight helping the other two stallions with Rainbow. turning your head to the side, you can also see Fluttershy following closely behind you with Nightshade jumping up as she runs, trying to get a look at you, no doubt worried if you'll be alright. Ironically enough though, you can't help worry about Nightshade seeing you like this, what with your mangled limbs and all.
I guess she can't see me, which is actually good now that I think about it. I would hate for Nightshade to see me the way I am now. Sure she saw me coughing up blood during the whole Discord incident, but that was that, blood. She didn't see my forelegs and legs completely backwards. You know this reminds me of the time I-
*shatter*
Your thoughts are interrupted as a random flowerpot smashes you in the head. The stallions stop to check to see that your okay, but grow worried when a giant bump begins to grow out of your head. You see small tiny birds fly around your head, and you just stare at them in confusion. Suddenly, you look at them with a silly grin and say,
"Pretty pretty Birdy. Nice, tiny pretty Birdy. You are all so prejinjbbbasfaff."
And with that you fall unconsciousness from your newest head wound. The stallions look at each other with worry and the one on the left says,
"This is worst then we thought! He's starting to hallucinate!"
The one on the right nods his head and says,
"Your right. Quickly, activate super speed mode!"
And with that they start to run towards the hospital at full speed.
*clank clang clang*
Sadly for you, your head would smack into several hard objects as the two stallions ran, so let's just say you will be feeling a huge headache when you wake up...
AT THE PONYVILLE HOSPITAL
You slowly open your eyes, but are immediately blinded by a bright light shining right in your face. You try to move you hoof in order to shield your eyes, but to no avail as you find it's been restrained. With your current track record of waking up tied to tables, you're about to freak out, and it doesn't help that your head is pounding like a stinking drum. You squeeze your eyes shut against the light and pain as you mutter,
"Ugh my head is killing me. What happened? Last thing I remembered was pushing Fluttershy out of the way of the Fillyfooler, then..."
You try to remember as to how you got here, but you keep drawing a blank. You eventually give up and say,
"Oh well, it'll come to me when it comes to me... now where am I?"
You can't seem to move your head, so you just use your eyes to look around as you begin to think,
Let's see, white walls that'll give you nightmares, check. Blinding lights that always shine in your face when you wake up, check. Sanitized chemical smell, check. Yep... I'm in a bucking hospital... yay... you think the last part sarcastically.
It's not that you don't like hospitals, (they help save the sick and let the dying have a nice place to rest after all) it's just the fact that they're so... creepy. The white walls, the cold temperature, the smell, it's just plain freaky. The fact that you've played several horror games that take place in hospitals also doesn't help. As you continue to look around while hoping that a random killer ghost doesn't come to kill you, you finally notice the reason why you can't move, that reason is...
You wake up in the hospital on a bed with casts all along your broken limbs after having screamed yourself into unconsciousness. You: Huh? I guess medicine has progressed since Grandbuggy last brought me in You then notice your pile of clothes and inventory sitting beside you in a chair, and you become panicked. You: Oh No! My clothes! The potion was only temporary. OH MAN, OH MAN OH MAN OH MAN! NM: Calm yourself, can you not see that you are covered? You: Huh? You take a closer look over your body and you see you have bandages over all over, including your face, you kind of look like how Night Shade was in her mummy costume. You: Huh! Guess it hasn’t changed that much. With your panicked mind now eased, you can focus on other things…Like how your limbs are still in pain You groan in pain causing a nurse to pull back your curtain. Redheart: Oh hello there Mr. Tennant, glad to see you’re awake. You: Pain…hurts… Redheart: Well I’d be worried if it didn’t, you have two broken shin bones, a fractured femur, and your left front shoulder was dislocated, but we were able to pop it back into place You: uuggghhh… R: and don’t you worry about your medical condition, the mares that brought you in showed us your note, so we took precautions and wrapped every bit of your body since we can’t leave you in your clothes, We’ve even blacked out the windows for you. You: Thanks… R: It’s rare to see such a cocktail of conditions such as yours, it’s fascinating, but still we want you healthy and comfortable. You: graaahhh…can I have some pain killers? R: Oh well you just woke up, you need to have some fluids first, otherwise you may become sick to the stomach She gives you a bowl of soup and puts a bendy straw into your mouth You: Fine, thanks doc… R: Oh I’m not the doctor, I’m the Nurse, my name is Redheart. Doctor Stable will see you once he’s finished setting Ms. Dash’s wing Hearing her name you just groan R: That as a very brave thing you did by the way. You: Huh? R: Well, saving Ms. Dash like that. You choke a little on your soup You: What? R: If it weren’t for you catching her, she could have been critically injured or worse. You: But…I didn’t… R: You are a very brave pony sir…a hero even. I hope that gives you comfort You: Drugs would be better… R: Oh, of course she turns on the dripper and then suddenly all is right with the world. You mumble unintelligible as you sigh in bliss R: There we go, now just sit back and relax. Oh, and we made arrangements for you to have a roommate whilst you are here. It’s the least we could do for you saving her life and everything You know that she is saying words…but they don’t really mean anything to you at the moment, so you just drift back to sleep.
You're on a hospital bed with casts all along your broken limbs and body. Looking at the casts, you think to yourself,
Huh? I guess medicine has progressed since Grandbuggy last brought me in...
You then notice your Doctor clothes and inventory sitting beside you in a chair,
Oh, that's where my clothes are...
After letting it sink in for a few moments, the realization hits you like a boxing glove attached to a train and you panic,
"Buck, my clothes! The potion was only temporary! OH HAY, OH HORSEAPPLES, OH BUCK, OH MOTHERBUCK-"
Calm yourself, can you not see that you are covered?
"Huh?" you say in confusion before you take a closer look over your body and you see you have bandages all over you to the point where you kind of look like how Nightshade was in her mummy costume.
"Huh! Guess it hasn't changed that much..."
With your panicked mind now eased, you can focus on other things... Like how your limbs are still in pain.
"Owwwww" You groan in pain causing a mare with a white coat, pink mane and tail, blue eyes, and a nurse's cap to pull back your curtain,
"Oh, hello there Mr. Tennant, glad to see you’re awake."
"Pain… hurts…"
"Well I’d be worried if it didn't, you have two broken shin bones, a fractured femur, and your left front shoulder was dislocated, but we were able to pop it back into place."
"Uuggghhh…"
"and don’t you worry about your medical condition, the mares that followed you showed us your note, so we took precautions and wrapped every bit of your body since we can’t leave you in your clothes, We've even blacked out the windows for you."
"Thanks…" you say groggily.
"It’s rare to see such a cocktail of conditions such as yours. It’s fascinating, but still we want you healthy and comfortable."
"Graaahhh... can I have some painkillers?" you whine.
"Oh... well you just woke up so you need to get some fluids in you first, otherwise you may become sick to the stomach from taking medication on an empty stomach." the nurse informs you before she gives you a bowl of carrot soup and puts a bendy straw into your mouth,
"Fine, thanks doc…" you mutter before drinking the soup.
"Oh I’m not the doctor, I’m the Nurse, Nurse Redheart. Doctor Horse will see you once he’s finished setting Ms. Dash’s wing."
Hearing her causes you to start to groan, but Redheart says,
"That as a very brave thing you did by the way."
"Huh?"
"Well, saving Ms. Dash like that."
You choke a little on your soup causing the nurse to slap your back in alarm. Once you've coughed up the soup caught in your throat you say,
"What?"
"If it weren't for you catching her, she could have been critically injured or worse."
"But… I didn't…"
"You are a very brave pony sir… a hero even. I hope that gives you comfort."
"You know what would give me more comfort? Drugs." you deadpanned comment.
"Oh... of course." she responds before she turns on the drippier and then suddenly all is right with the world. You mumble unintelligible as you sigh in bliss.
"There we go, now just sit back and relax. Oh, and we made arrangements for you to have a roommate whilst you are here. It’s the least we could do for you saving her life and everything"
You know that she is saying words… but they don’t really mean anything to you at the moment,
"Oh, and Mister Tennant, your body is healing at a amazing rate. Me and the other nurses/doctors have never seen anything like this. If you don't mind me asking, can you please donate your body to the hospital after you die? If we can find out what is making your body heal so fast, so many lives can be saved!"
She says that last part with her eyes sparkling, but you, however, don't hear a word she says as your to busy in la-la land, so you just mumble,
"dhsjdbsnowpiercerwirbja."
Redheart smiles and nods as she says,
"I'll take that as a yes, thank you very much Mister Tennant."
And with that you properly go deep into la-la land for about a hour or two...
AN HOUR OR TWO LATER
You begin to wake up again as the effect of the pain killers begins to wear off. As your senses come back to you, you hear...
-...Well it`s a miracle he`s still alive... You see a doctor talk to Fluttershy, Nightshade and Applejack in front off your bed... He has got quite a few broken bones, but miraculously no more internal damage... You try to speak, but your face is covered in bandages. Hides your true nature , you guess... Rainbow Dash on the other hoof has less severe injuries... At that you hear the worst sound ever: "Awesome" from your right. You carefully look over to see... RAINBOW FILLYFOOLER IS SHARING YOUR ROOM.. You desperately look around the rest of the room to see nopony else in the beds before the doctor continues... But she will have to stay here for a while...and while she can still walk she has to stay in the room.
"Well it's a miracle... still alive..."
You see a doctor talk to Fluttershy, Applejack, and Nightshade in front of your bed. Since the drugs are just wearing off, you only catch words occasionally leading to a rather jumbled speech,
"He... broken bones... no more internal damage... anomaly... heart... have an expert... tomorrow. Rainbow Dash... has less... injuries... "
"Cool, now how long do I need to lie here? I've got things I need to do!"
That voice jolting you awake, you carefully look over to see... RAINBOW FILLYFOOLER IS SHARING YOUR ROOM (and Rarity and Pinkie are by her, but still RAINBOW FILLYFOOLER)!
You desperately look around the rest of the room to see nopony else in the beds before the doctor continues,
"Well, that all depends on your recovery, but I'd say a few days minimum."
Your eyes widen in horror at the thought of sharing a room with... her. You're about to scream in horror when,
"Daddy!"
"Oh, Mista Tennant, you're awake."
You look over to see the ponies and Nightshade giving you relived looks. You would have nodded your head, but your cast prevents you from doing so, so you just say,
"Eyep, I'm awake. Stuck in a cast in a terrifying hospital for who knows how long, but I am awake."
AT SWEET APPLE ACRES
Big MacIntosh sneezes as he mutters,
"Somepony is using mah catchphrase..."
BACK AT THE HOSPITAL
Applejack's tone suddenly shifts into threatening territory as she says,
Applejack is at the hospital and tells you that while she's glad your okay and happy you saved Fluttershy, she's still a bit upset at you running off on a workday to go to the spa and docks your pay so you only get 10 bits that day (36 bits remaining). Fortunatly, she confirms that the Apples (and maybe Fluttershy too) will take care of Nightshade while you're recovering (that, or Nightshade stays/wants to stay in the Inventory the whole time you're in the hospital)
"Mista Tennant, while I am glad that you saved Fluttershy and Rainbow from her nasty crash. I'm still going to have to dock your pay for sneaking off work in the first place to go to the spa."
You sigh and respond,
"Yes boss, sorry boss. It'll never happen again, I swear."
"That's better, now me and Fluttershy will be taking care of this here little cutie til y'all better." Applejack says as she ruffles Nightshade's hair.
"Oh yes, I'll be taking care of Nightshade every Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday... if you don't mind I mean." Fluttershy adds.
"And I'll be watching over her every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. Until you can at least walk on crutches at least."
You smile at knowing Nightshade is in good hooves as you say,
"Thanks girls, but please be gentle with her."
"Daaaaaddddddddd!" Nightshade whines causing the Deadly 6 to giggle.
"Don't worry I will." Applejack says.
"All right, my little ponies." Nurse Redheart says, "Rainbow Dash and Mister Tennant need their rest. You'll have to come back tomorrow."
As the mares are escorted out (you swear you overheard Twilight say something about "needing to stop a disaster she was warned about by her future self"), you look over to see Rainbow... looking at you in regret. Before you can ask her why, she suddenly says,
RD: Oh jeez. Look, I’m really really, really sorry! I was performing a new trick and it got out of hand. Please oh please don’t hate me, I didn’t want you to get hurt (pleading in her eyes) You: hmmph! You turn your head the other way so you don’t look at her. RD: I’ll make this up to you I swear! I’ll do anything, please don’t be mad at me…or press charges or anything like that… You look at her and see her ears are down and her eyes are watering. You then see her broken wing extended behind her. You sigh, yes you were just pushing Fluttershy out of the way, but you did save her life if what the Nurse said is true, and that’s a good thing. When you eventually have to face her in combat again, you can always bring it up. You: Fine…just sit back down and be quiet, my head still kind of hurts… RD: OK…oh and by the way, your daughter and the girls were in earlier while you were out. AJ wanted me to tell you that she’ll look after Night Shade while you’re here and that they’ll be in for a visit tomorrow. You: OK… RD: …And…thanks for saving my life… You: Yeah…sure… RD: … You: … You both just kind of sit there in silence for awhile. You’re still a bit upset with her. RD: So, do you want to hear about my trick? You: No RD: Do you wanna hear a joke? You: No RD: Do you want to hear about the latest Wonderbolts news? You: Does it involve Spitfire? RD: ummm…no, it’s about Soarin actually, did you know that he… You: Not interested… RD: Alright…well what about… You: I really don’t want to talk right now Rainbow! RD: OK, OK, I gotcha… After a long time of boredom, and the Doctor telling you what you already knew, and being served more soup. Rainbow Dash got Jello, and all you got was soup! You finally start drifting off to sleep to get away from the boredom, when all of a sudden you start hearing Rainbow Dash reading aloud. You try to ignore her at first…but the story she’s reading kind of sounds interesting. It’s about a mare called Daring Do who is a treasure hunter and how she has to survive killer cats and dungeon traps. You gasp out loud when you hear about her almost getting skewered by arrows. Rainbow looks at you after you gasp. RD: OH, Sorry! I WASN’T READING, I’M NOT AN EGGHEAD…I WAS JUST… You: confound it woman, what happens next? RD: How should I know, I wasn’t reading this awesome and cool story (eyes shifting everywhere) You: Please! Keep reading, if you want to do something for me, keep reading!!! (You really need to know how Daring Do escapes) RD: Alright, Alright…but you have to promise me that you won’t tell anypony about this OK? You: I Pinkie Promise…I can’t do the motions right now, but still READ! NM: Yes, I too wish to know if this mare succeeds! You: You too? NM: Tis a fascinating tale.
"Oh jeez. Look, I’m really really, really sorry! I was performing a new trick and it got out of hand. Please oh please don’t hate me, I didn't want you to get hurt..." she pleadingly says.
"Hmmph!" you scoff as you turn your head the other way so you don’t look at her, until you remember you can't move your head so you just look your eyes away from her.
"I’ll make this up to you I swear! I’ll do anything, please don’t be mad at me… or press charges or anything like that…"
You look at her and see her ears are down and her eyes are watering. You then see her broken wing extended behind her.
Ugh... stupid conscience... I did save her life after all. Sure, it was unintentional as I was just saving Fluttershy, but I did save her. Next time I have to fight her, I'm SO bringing that up...
You sigh and say,
"Fine… just sit back down and be quiet, my head still kind of hurts…"
Rainbow brightens up a little but, before quickly saying
"OK, oh.... And…thanks for saving my life…"
"Yeah…sure…"
You both just kind of sit there in silence for awhile as you’re still a bit upset with her.
"So, do you want to hear about my trick?" Rainbow Dash asks.
"No." you bluntly respond.
"Do you wanna hear a joke?"
"No."
"Do you want to hear about the latest Wonderbolts news?"
"Does it involve Spitfire?"
"Ummm…no, it’s about Soarin actually, did you know that he-"
"Not interested. No."
"Alright… well what about…"
"I really don’t want to talk right now Rainbow!" you snap.
"OK, OK, I gotcha…" she says, ears deflating.
A long time of boredom passes with the only breaks being the Doctor telling you what you already heard, and being served more soup (The fillyfooler gets Jello, and all I got was more stinking soup!)
You finally start drifting off to sleep to get away from the boredom, when all of a sudden you start hearing Rainbow Dash reading aloud. You try to ignore her at first… but the story she’s reading kind of sounds interesting. It’s about Daring Do (you saw the movie adaptation of Daring Do and the Forbidden City of Clouds with Grandbuggy. He muttered something about "her uncle Gallant True once cheated me out of my cigars" but you shushed him before he could elaborate) and the book's getting interesting.
You gasp out loud when you hear about her almost getting skewered by arrows, startling Rainbow and causing her to slam the book shut and look at you in surprise as she blurts out,
"Oh, Sorry! I WASN’T READING, I’M NOT AN EGGHEAD! I WAS JUST…"
"Confound it mare, what happens next?"
"How should I know, I wasn't reading this awesome and cool story." she denies as her eyes dart around everywhere.
"Please! Keep reading," you plead, "if you want to do something for me, keep reading!!! I really need to know how Daring Do escapes!"
"Alright, Alright… but you have to promise me that you won’t tell anypony about this OK?"
"I Pinkie Promise… I can’t do the motions right now, but still READ!"
Yes, I too wish to know if this mare succeeds!
You think back the Nightmare in confusion
You too?
Tis a fascinating tale.
You nod your head in agreement with Nightmare and as Rainbow begins to describe Daring Do, you can't help but think,
When Dash start's reading the book Bugze can't help but get the strange feeling that the description of what Daring Do look's like sounds familiar for some reason.
You know, the way she's describing Daring Do, I get this weird familiar feeling about her. Like I somehow met her before...
You get flashbacks to a certain train ride, but you forget about it completely as Rainbow begins to read more of the story...
2 HOURS LATER
RD: (Yawn) Gotta do this tomorrow. Didn’t think reading would make me so tired You: Ya, still, why’d you freak out earlier? RD: Because reading isn’t something cool ponies do, it’s for eggheads like Twilight… You: And where did you hear that? RD: Umm…you know…cool people? You: Just because you like to read doesn’t make you an egghead. There’s a difference between reading the boring textbooks Twilight does and reading an adventure like Daring Do! Heck, I gotta get into this series once I’m better. RD: yeah, but still… You: You don’t have to be ashamed for liking awesome stuff. RD: I still don’t want Twilight to tell me she was right, she was the one who recommended I read this… You: Oh I get ya, pride and all…but still, once we’re done with this one, I’ll let you know about some more awesome series to read just like it, and the others wouldn’t have to know. RD: I’d like that (blushes) Her uninjured wing then pomfs up and begins pulsing, and she yelps when her injured wing tries to do the same. RD: ooohhh, stupid things…Night Tennant! You: Alrighty then, to be continued. I wanna know what the heck that Azu Yokel thing was. NM: I believe by the description in the book he is of a race that calls the southern rainforests home. Primitive beasts that worship a twisted image of the false sun goddess You: OH thanks for the spoilers! Right before you go to bed though, you receive a message via dragon flame. Rainbow is already out. So you read it. "We will be meeting in three days time at Berry Punch's Bar at this Time. Password: Down with Lady Luck. P.S. Scroll will self burn. With your least injured limb, you throw the scroll into the waste basket where it lights on fire before going out. Hopefully you heal in 3 days.
"Gotta do this tomorrow. Didn't think reading would make me so tired." Rainbow Dash yawns.
"Ya, you got a good point" you also yawn, "Still, why’d you freak out earlier?"
"Because reading isn't something cool ponies do, it’s for eggheads like Twilight…"
"And... where did you hear that?" you ask.
"Umm… you know… cool people?"
"Just because you like to read doesn't make you an egghead. There’s a difference between reading the boring textbooks Twilight does and reading an adventure like Daring Do! Heck, I gotta get into this series once I’m better! I've only seen a few of the movies and it sound like they left alot out."
"Yeah, but still…"
"You don’t have to be ashamed for liking awesome stuff. If you do that, then you'll end up looking more like a fool in trying to cover up liking that thing you don't want ponies to think you're a fool for liking... Or something like that, I kinda lost track of what the hay I was saying..."
She giggles before saying,
"Yeah, but I still don’t want Twilight to tell me she was right, she was the one who recommended I read this…"
"Oh I get ya, pride and all… but still, once we’re done with this one, I’ll let you know about some more awesome series to read just like it, and the others wouldn't have to know."
"I’d like that." Rainbow Dash says with a blush as her uninjured wing then poofs up and begins pulsing, and she yelps when her injured wing tries to do the same.
"Ooohhh, stupid things…" she mutters.
She then realizes that "Mister Tennant" was right there and probably saw that so she blushes bright red and quickly says,
"Night Tennant!" before quickly going to the pillow and falling asleep.
"Well that was sudden... Alrighty then, to be continued. I wanna know what the heck that 'Azu-Yokel' thing was."
I believe by the description in the book he is of the Ahuizotl species. Primitive beasts that can command felines, set traps, and call the remote rain forest regions home.
Great! Thanks for the spoilers! you think sarcastically.
Right before you go to bed though, you receive a message via dragon flame. After catching it with your horn magic and making sure that Rainbow is already out, you read it.
We will be meeting in three days time at Berry Punch's Bar at this Time. Password: Curse you Lady Luck. P.S. Scroll will self-burn.
You throw the scroll into the waste basket where it disappears in a brief burst of green flame.
Hopefully, I'll heal in 3 days...
And with that thought... you fall asleep...
*CRASH*
Your eyes shoot open in shock as you look around for where that noise came from. You see the clock read 5am and then you look over to see Rainbow still asleep, so it couldn't be her. But when you look to your left you see...
Oh buck! A burglar is stealing medical supplies and I can't do anything to stop him! Can this get any worse?
As if lady luck heard you, suddenly the pony turns towards you and notices your open eyes. He nervously chuckles and says,
"Oh... Hi everypony. Just borrowing some medical supplies, didn't mean to wake you up. Sorry about that. Oh, and the name's Quacksalver by the way. Dr. Quacksalver."
... Look out. This guy sounds like a quack. Make sure to steer him away from any practice that involves shocking you every five seconds.
OK, crazy doctor. Previously a situation you've only encountered in your darkest nightmares, itseems that all those hospital horror video games are about to pay off. "Quacksalver, was it?" You start. "That's Dr. Quacksalver to you, patient. I didn't spend ten minutes in the Canterlot Royal Medical Institution just to be addressed without my title," the "doctor" huffs. You choose to play along. After all, he's the one holding a hoofull of scapels. "OK, Dr. Quacksalver. If you'll pardon my Prench, what the buck are you doing here?" "Oh, don't worry, I don't mind the Prench," Quacksalver answers. "And as I've said before I'm just here to borrow some medical supplies. Do you have a hearing disorder? I may be able to help you with that." "No, I'm quite fine, thank you," you answer as quickly as possible. "Denial," he says. "Classic symptom of Selfdenyingus Crappyhearingdearingus Plus. Let me take a closer look." "Stay the buck away from me!" You scream. He just chuckles to himself. "They always say that," he says. "Don't worry patient. I'm a professional. The forest faeries in my wardrobe all agree." "Forest faeries aren't real!" You squeal desperately. "He's denying all logical speech!" Quacksalver cries. "The disease must've reached stage 47! We need to act immediately!" He grabs the nearest syringe and tosses it to you. "Inject yourself in the neck with that. Hopefully it's something safe." "What do you mean hopefully!"you scream."you're not going to read what it is?" "There's no time to read!" He cries. "There's also no time to apologize, blink, or do a barrel roll. We need immediate action!"
As you continue to look at the "Doctor" in the 5am early morning with Rainbow Dash still asleep, you think,
OK... Crazy Quack: A situation I've only encountered in survival horror games and the nightmares that came from those games. Time for all those hours of playing video games to pay off! Also, I have a feeling this guy will shock me every five seconds if he gets the chance
"Quacksalver, was it?" You start.
"That's Dr. Quacksalver to you, patient. I didn't spend ten minutes in the Canterlot Royal Medical Institution just to be addressed without my title." the 'doctor' huffs.
You choose to play along. After all, he's the one with quick access to a hooful of scalpels.
"OK, Dr. Quacksalver. If you'll pardon my Prench, what the buck are you doing here?"
"Oh, don't worry, I don't mind the Prench," Quacksalver answers. "And as I've said before I'm just here to borrow some medical supplies. Do you have a hearing disorder? I may be able to help you with that."
"No, I'm quite fine, thank you," you answer as quickly as possible.
"Denial," he says. "Classic symptom of Selfdenyingus Crappyhearingdearingus. Let me take a closer look."
"Stay the buck away from me!" You scream, but he just chuckles to himself.
"They always say that," he says. "Don't worry patient. I'm a professional. The forest faeries in my wardrobe all agree."
"Forest faeries aren't real!" You squeal desperately.
"He's denying all logical speech!" Quacksalver cries, "The disease must've reached stage 47! We need to act immediately!" He grabs the nearest syringe and tosses it to you. "Inject yourself in the neck with that. Hopefully it's something safe."
"What the buck do you mean hopefully!" you scream. "You're not even gonna read what it is?"
"There's no time to read!" He cries. "There's also no time to apologize, blink, or do a barrel roll. We need immediate action!"
And with that he suddenly gets a confused look, before he facehoofs and says,
"Oh, what am I thinking? I can't make him inject himself..."
You say in relief and think,
Thank Luna. For a second there I thought this crazy doctor was gonna make me-
"But I can operate on him!"
You stare at the Doctor in horror as you think.
Oh buck!
With that thought, Dr. Quacksalver picks you up and drops you onto a nearby stretcher, takes out another full body cast stuffed with rocks and puts it on your bed, and pushes you through the hospital halls. Sadly for you, Quack doesn't run to any of the other hospital staff. So you can't help but think,
It's just my luck that the one time I'm in a hospital, a crazy quack decides to operate on me! Curse you lady luck and your step-sister Time Convenience!
You suddenly hear doors being slammed open and you see that you're now in a operating room (you swore you saw a sign on the door that read "closed for repairs" on the way in...). Dr. Quack rolls you over into the middle of the room and begins to start grabbing 'medical' tools out of his bad and onto a table. You use the term 'medical' loosely as the tools he's grabbing don't look like they belong in a hospital.
What the buck!? Is that a kitchen knife? Why does he have a kitchen knife? What else is he grabbing?... A BUCKING PIZZA CUTTER! WHAT THE BUCK IS HE GONNA CUT WITH THAT! AND IS THAT A HAMMER!!!
Q: "Pass me the Burknomic Scalpel." B: "That looks like a hammer." Q: (Chuckles) "Yes, it looks very much like a hammer, but it's actually much blunter."
Dr. Quack then smiles as he puts the last tool onto a table next to you and he says,
"That's the last of that. Now don't worry, this'll only sting for about half of the operation. Oh, I see you've noticed my Burknomic Scapel."
You realize Quacksalver followed your line of sight to the hammer so you say,
"Uh... That looks like a hammer."
Quacksalver chuckles before saying,
"Yes, it looks very much like a hammer, but it's actually much blunter. But it doesn't matter as we're not using it yet."
"Oh that's good- Wait, what do you mean by "ye-""
He then grabs an old sword off the table and starts to walk towards you and you can't help but stare at him in horror. Dr. Quacksalver, seemingly noticing your horrified face, gives you a smile and says,
Q: Oh don’t worry silly little pony, I am a trained medical magician You: Don’t you mean physician? Q: No I don’t think so, I work with a lot of unicorns. You: Umm… Q: Here, I’ll show you. Let’s take a look at your medical sheet (Picks up clipboard at the end of your bed) Q: Oh no, these readings don’t look good, not good at all You: What? Did the other doctors and nurses miss something? Q: Oh no, I just can’t read the sheet, I don’t have my glasses on You try to facehoove, but the pain makes you reconsider He puts on some reading glasses and reads the sheet again. Q: Ah, much better. Let’s see…Oh…oh I am so sorry… You: About what? Q: Losing your sight You: What? Q: Yes, blindness can be hard to live with, but you can always look on the bright side and…oh no wait, you wouldn’t be able to look on it would you? You: But I’m not blind, I can still see! Q: Hmm…you do have a point there, how else would you have known about me “not” stealing medical supplies? (looks back at sheet) Ah, here we go, I mixed up the c and the p in this spanishy looking word. You: How do you… Q: Ah…it’s even worse than blindness. It looks like we’re going to have to amputate your legs immediately You: WHAT?!!! YOU’RE GONNA CUT OFF MY LEGS?!!! Q: No! Oh no no no, is that what amputate means? No, I meant the other thing… You: Operate? Q: No, that doesn’t sound right either…ah now I remember, Do Nothing, we are going to do nothing and hope it gets better, that's how I saved my marriage. You: Are you really a doctor? Q: Of course I am, I went to school for four years for my degree You: I thought Doctor’s went to school for 7 years Q: Oh really? Oh now they tell me… You are now really disturbed by this strange pony
Dr. Quacksalver says he has a "Grandmasters Degree in Chiropractic Medicine from the Las Pegasus Upstairs Medical College and Discount Printer" (the certificate is filled out in crayon however...)
"Oh don’t worry you silly pony, I am a trained medical magician."
"Don’t you mean physician?" you ask worriedly,
"No, I don’t think so, but I have worked with a lot of unicorns."
"Umm…"
"Here, I’ll show you. Let’s take a look at your medical sheet."
With that, Quacksalver absentmindedly tosses the sword behind him and picks up the medical sheet which you just noticed is still with you.
"Oh no, these readings don’t look good, not good at all."
"What? Did the other doctors and nurses miss something?" you ask worriedly,
"Oh no, I just can’t read the sheet, I don’t have my glasses on."
You try to facehoof, but the pain of your broken and casted arm makes you reconsider. He puts on some reading glasses and reads the sheet again.
"Ah, much better. Let’s see… Oh… oh I am so sorry…"
"About what?"
"Losing your sight."
"What?" you blankly say.
"Yes, blindness can be hard to live with, but you can always look on the bright side- oh no wait, you wouldn't be able to look on it would you?"
"But I’m not blind you moron, I can still see!"
"Hmm… you do have a point there, how else would you have known about me borrowing medical supplies?" (looks back at sheet) "Ah, here we go, I mixed up the c and the p in this weird-looking word."
"How do you…"
"Ah… it’s even worse than blindness. It looks like we’re going to have to amputate your limbs immediately!"
"WHAT?!!! YOU’RE GONNA CUT OFF MY LIMBS?!!!"
Dr. Quacksalver gets a shocked look and says,
"No! Oh no no no, is that what amputate means? No, I meant the other thing…"
"Operate?"
"No, that doesn't sound right either… ah now I remember, Do Nothing. We are going to do nothing and hope it gets better. That's how I solved my mortgage problem. Until the bank foreclosed my house for some reason..."
You give the "Doctor" a doubtful look and ask,
"Are you really a doctor?"
"Of course I am. I went to school for three years for my degree."
"Uh... I thought Doctor’s went to school for at least 8 years or something like that. And didn't you say you went Canterlot Royal Medical Institution for ten minutes?"
"Oh really? Then how do you explain this? And that was just one of many schools I went to."
He then pulls out from his saddlebag a certificate that reads Grandmasters Degree in Chiropractic Medicine from the Las Pegasus Upstairs Medical College and Discount Printer... but it's signed in red and green crayon. You are now really disturbed by this strange pony. Just as you think the doctor is gonna let you go, he gets this surprised look on his face and says,
Q: Ah, here’s something interesting, you are signed up for medical research because of your unique healing rate. You: Wait, I’m what? I don’t remember agreeing to that S: You gave your consent whilst you were inebriated You: Buck! Q: Funny, I thought ponies had to be dead first…Oh Well, I’m not doing anything right now, are you? You: Huh? Q: Great! To the surgery room! Here, eat this to dull the pain He shoves a lemon in your mouth and you pucker up so much you can’t yell for help as he wheels you to the surgery room. Once you unpucker, you start pleading. You: Please, you can’t do this! Q: Don’t worry, this won’t hurt a bit…until I jam this down your throat! (holds up a sharp looking tool with many points on it) You: AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! Q: Oh wait, what am I thinking, you’re legs are the things broken He then unwraps your legs and he sees your true chitonous hide and you start sweating nervously Q: Oh…are pony legs supposed to look like that? (looks at his own) no? Huh…OH well, time to make it normal He brings out a mallet You: What are you gonna do with that? Q: I am going to break this shell covering your legs, don’t worry, bones cannot be broken more when they are already broken… You: NO WAIT! THESE ARE MY REAL LIMBS!!! Q: Really? He pulls down your face wrappings and recoils Q: Oof, boy are you ugly! You: Hey! Q: Don’t worry, I can fix that too. (pulls out fork) I will give you a face lift and make you look beautiful! You: I DIDN’T PAY FOR THIS!!! Q: Oh you didn’t? Oh, well until you pay, I can’t make you less ugly…it’s too distracting (wraps your face again)
Dr. Quacksalver is a back-alley doctor who's figured out you're a changeling, but doesn't care as he treats all species and will never rat on them... for a price of course ("Got to pay for food and supplies somehow").
"I've had several changeling patients and most of them survived."
"Ah, here’s something interesting; apparently, you've been signed up for medical research because of your unique healing rate."
"Wait, I’m what? I don’t remember agreeing to that!" You say in alarm.
You gave your consent whilst you were inebriated.
Oh... Buck.
"Funny, I thought ponies had to be dead first for that. (*scoff*) And the "Doctors" here call me a quack... Oh well, I’m not doing anything right now, are you?"
"Huh?" you say in blank confusion,
"Great! To the surgery room! Wait, we're already here. In that case, eat this to dull the pain!"
Before you can protest, he shoves a lemon in your mouth and you pucker up so much you can’t yell for help as he arranges his stuff again. Once you unpucker, you start pleading,
"Please, you can’t do this!"
"Don’t worry, this won’t hurt a bit… until I jam this down your throat!"
Quacksalver holds up a sharp-looking tool with many points on it causing you to scream in terror.
"Oh wait, what am I thinking? You’re limbs are the things broken."
With that he tosses away the sharp-looking tool, yanks your casts off, and sees your true chitonous hide as you start sweating nervously,
Buck! The transformation potion must have worn off overnight! you think in panic.
"Oh… are pony legs supposed to look like that?"
He quickly looks at his own limbs before continuing,
"Huh… Oh well, time to make it normal."
He brings out a mallet causing you to panic,
"Whoa whoa whoa, What are you gonna do with that?"
"I am going to break this shell covering your legs and body and remove those obviously infected wings. Don’t worry, bones can't be broken more when they're already broken, although this condition looks familiar-"
"NO WAIT! THIS IS MY REAL BODY!!!" you protest in panic.
"Now calm down before you give yourself skin failur- What, really?"
He pulls down your face wrappings and recoils as he says,
"Oof, boy are you ugly!"
"Hey! I'm actually consider pretty handsome in my community " you say offender,
"Don’t worry, I can fix that too."
He goes back to the table and gets the pizza cutter before saying,
"I'll give you a face lift and make you look as beautiful as money can buy!"
"I DIDN'T PAY FOR THIS!!!"
"Oh you didn't? Oh, well until you pay, I can’t make you less ugly… but it is distracting..."
With that, he recovers your face, but just as he finishes you swear you hear a *ding* sound coming from somewhere as Dr. Quack says,
"Now I remember! Those are changeling legs! You're a changeling!"
Buck! Cover blown! Abandon shi-
"Oh what's with that horrified look? I work on all species and I never rat any of them out... for a price of course. Have to pay for food, supplies, and booze you know. Besides, I've had several changeling patients and most of them survived."
You stare at the crazy-no insane doctor as you think,
Why me... I have to pay for secrecy of my identity now! Great. Just bucking great- Wait, what did he mean by MOST?
The insane doctor then begins to rummage around the table for a tool and as he does he says,
"Nopony has ever died on my operating table. Sure, maybe a some Griffins, some goats, a few ponies, and a Minotaur but they fell off the table or ran off before dying so the point still stands!" "You're much better than that client I had in Canterlot. He was all 'Hurry up you quack, I got busco- I mean time to kill!', 'That's not supposed to go there!', and 'What the buck are you doing with that sledgehammer!'. Coincidentally, that was the same week the 'Canterlot Buscolt Murders' stopped..."
"Don't worry bug, nopony has ever died on my operating table. Sure, maybe some Griffins, some goats, and a Minotaur, but they fell off the table or ran off before dying so the point still stands! You know, you're much better than that client I had in Canterlot. He was all 'Hurry up you quack, I got busco- I mean time to kill!', 'That's not supposed to go there!' 'What the buck are you doing with that sledgehammer!'. Whine, whine, whine. Coincidentally, that was the same week the 'Canterlot Buscolt Murders' stopped..."
You look at the insane doctor in terror at what he said, but before you can say anything he shouts out,
"AHA! Found it!"
He turns around and you see that he is holding... a needle? He walks over to you and says,
"I will now perform what is known as a "standard look see" inside your body."
As he begins to walk over to you, you can't help but ask,
"Uhhh, since this is against my will, I can't help but ask should I be awake for this?"
He looks at you for a bit before saying,
"Uhhhh... no, but that is what this is for!"
He points to the needle in his mouth before he says,
He gets a syringe full of a mysterious drug which he says, "These drugs will make the operation seem like a beautiful dream", and then knocks you out with a punch before injecting himself with the drugs, stumbling over, grabbing a pizza cutter with his mouth, and is about to operate- "What am I doing! I need to sterilize this first!" With that he grabs a bottle of whisky before pouring it on the pizza cutter and taking a few gulps before continuing...
"These drugs will make the operation seem like a beautiful dream..."
This causes you to whimper nervously.
*POW*
...and the next thing you know it's lights out as Quacksalver just knocked you out with a punch. Dr. Quacksalver then injects himself with the syringe through the labcoat sleeve before stumbling around while slurring,
"Hi, everypony..."
He finally stumbles over to the table, grabs a pizza cutter with his mouth, and is about to operate when,
"What am I doing! I need to sterilize first!" With that he grabs a bottle of whisky from his bag before pouring it on the pizza cutter and his hooves before taking a few gulps, and continuing...
POV Change! Nightshade
"Yawwwwwwn! Stupid gas ball."
Nightshade says as she get off Fluttershy's couch bed (her couch folds into a bed for guest) with strands of hair sticking out her and there (bed head). She glares hatefully at the sun and says
"Why must you always shine into my eyes every morning?"
With that she gives another adorable yawn. She see Fluttershy walk down the stairs and giving her a sweet smile. When she reaches the bottom of the stairs she says
"Good morning Nightshade. What would you like to do today?"
Nightshade puts on her 'thinking face' as she thinks
On to Nightshade. You're thinking very hard about all the things you could do today, a few things occur to you and you're about to tell Fluttershy, when suddenly a huge gurgling roar comes from seemingly nowhere. "Where are you? Come out and face me monster!" You spin around and take a fighting stance, ready to tackle anything heading your way and protect miss Fluttershy by all means nessa- "Oh dear, sounds like someone's hungry." Fluttershy says sweetly. You look down and poke your stomach with a hoof, making it growl again. One of Fluttershy's bears sticks its head in through the window, looking around for its new friend. Fluttershy giggles and beckons you towards the kitchen. "Come on Nightshade, let's get you some breakfast." ... Breakfast with Fluttershy was great, and you feel really full now. That bread she made from some foreign recipe filled you up so much that you almost didn't have any room left for the eggs and hay-bacon... almost. You can't remember what it was called, lam-bass? Lemmus? Lembas maybe?
Nightshade,what you have to do is very obvious:You have to eat breakfast,just a small snack,so around 16 toasts.
What should I do today?
As Nightshade thinks very hard about that question, a few things pop into mind and she's about to tell Fluttershy when suddenly a huge gurgling roar comes from seemingly nowhere. "Where are you? Come out and face me monster!" Nightshade proclaims as she spins around in a combat stance, ready to Falcon Kick in the nards anything heading her way and to protect miss Fluttershy by all means nessa-
"Oh dear, sounds like somepony's hungry." Fluttershy says sweetly.
Nightshade looks down and pokes her stomach with a hoof, making it growl again causing one of Fluttershy's bears to stick its head in through the window, looking around for its new friend. Fluttershy giggles and beckons the filly towards the kitchen.
"Come on Nightshade, let's get you some breakfast."
Breakfast with Fluttershy is great! Deciding to show restraint, Nightshade only had a small breakfast (16 pairs of toast). That bread she made from some foreign recipe was so good that she almost didn't have any room left for the eggs and hay-bacon... almost.
Too bad I can't remember what this stuff is called, lam-bass? Lemmus? Lembas maybe?
While Nightshade is eating, Fluttershy suddenly says...
Suddenly, Fluttershy had a sudden talk about the "Hooded Offender". She knew!
"So Nightshade... I... found out something interesting about your Daddy yesterday."
"Oh, What?" Nightshade says in confusion as she swallows the haybacon.
"He kind let it slip that he's... the Hooded Offender."
"Huh? What did you say?"
"Oh, I said that he said he was the Hooded Offender"
Nightshade rubs her ears to see if they are still working before eating another toast and repeating,
"Sorry, still can't hear you."
"Hetoldmethathe'stheHoodedOffedner!" Fluttershy says quickly before hiding behind her mane.
Food falls out of Nightshade's mouth in shock,
"Wh... what!? But Daddy told me never to tell anypony that he's a awesome superhero. Why he tell you?"
"I um...actually found out for myself, but don't worry. Hoody's secret is safe with me."
"Okay! Thanks... I think."
Before Nightshade could say more, she looks out the window and sees,
Anyway, you're wondering what to do with the rest of your day when a chime in the distance catches your attention. Something about the time on the giant clock-house in town is making you worry. "Miss Fluttershy, is that clock tower accurate?" you ask. "Why yes, I believe it is." she checks her own clocks to be sure and nods again. "My clocks are always a bit slow." "Are you tellin' me it's 8:25?!" you scream as realization suddenly it hits you. "Buck! I'm late for school!" You grab you school bags and rush out the door, being considerate and closing it before rushing off towards town. Knowing you'll need some speed, you grab the bottom of a broken food stand and hop aboard, gaining speed as you roll down the street on your impromptu transport. It's then that you see Big Mac hauling a wagon of apples to the market, seeing as how its on the way, you grab on with your front hooves while keeping your back hooves on your board. Noticing his hitchhiker, Mac turns and sees you waving at him. He returns the gesture with a knowing smile and speeds off towards the school. If Lady Luck has mercy for once, you won't be too late.
>> Erised the ink-moth As you ride Big Mac’s cart to the schoolhouse, you swear you hear what sounds like Princess Cadance singing, and you inexplicable start singing the exact same lyrics. In Canterlot, Cadance is singing in the shower and is singing at the same time as Night Shade Night Shade/Cadance: The power of love, is a curious thing, make one stallion weep, make another stallion sing…(and then the rest of the song)
The giant clock-house in town which causes her to ask,
"Miss Fluttershy, is that clock tower accurate?"
"Why yes, I believe it is." she checks her own clocks to be sure and nods again. "My clocks are always a bit slow."
"Oh my.... such language..." FLuttershy says, but Nightshade grabs her school bags and rushes out the door (being considerate and closing it with a "Bye Miss Fluttershy" before rushing off towards town). As she rushes out the door, Fluttershy calls after her,
"OH! Please remember to tell Hoody when you visit him later that the Horde meeting is in 2 days!"
Needing some speed, Nightshade grabs the bottom of a broken food stand and hops aboard, gaining speed as she rolls down the street on her impromptu transport, yelling,
"MOVE b****! GET OUT THE WAY!!!"
She then sees Big Mac hauling a wagon of apples to the market, seeing as how it's on the way and her own board is losing momentum, Nightshade grabs on with her front hooves while keeping her back hooves on her board. Noticing his hitchhiker, Mac turns and sees Nightshade waving at him. He returns the gesture with a knowing smile and speeds off towards the school.
If Lady Luck has mercy for once, I won't be too late. Nightshade thinks.
As she rides Big Mac’s cart to the schoolhouse, she swears she hear what sounds like a female singing and so she inexplicable starts singing the exact same lyrics.
MEANWHILE IN CANTERLOT
Cadance is singing in the shower and is singing at the same time as Nightshade.
Suddenly, Big Red pulls up to the school and Nightshade gives him a friendly wave of thanks as she heads into the school... and by that we mean she gets launched from the back of the cart from the sudden stop and barrels though a window...
MEANWHILE IN CANTERLOT
Cadance stops singing with a shiver
"Why'd you stop Cadance?" Shining asks as he walks in the bathroom.
"I'm not sure... the was a sound like shattering glass, and then everything just went quiet. It's as if the bond between myself and the other singer has been broken." Cadance replies,
Shining blinks blankly before he shakes off his confusion and says,
"Huh. Kind of like that time you did a duet with the changeling queen at our wedding and nopony bothered to notice. But speaking of bonds, you want to help me make one right now?"
"Oh..." Cadance replies suggestively.
"Yeah, I was wondering if you could come to my 'Oubliettes and Ogres' session in two weeks as your character." Shining replies
"You're such a dork..." Cadance comments with a roll of her eyes before her expression changes and she continues, "And that's why I love you. Now come in here. I think I might have missed a spot..."
BACK IN PONYVILLE
*CRASH*
"BUCK!"
As Nightshade holds her head in pain, she looks up to see... a very angry looking Cheerlie. As she wonders why she's mad at her, she suddenly remembers...
At school you remember the newest big rule, Watching your Filthy Bucking Mouth…at least when the teacher is near.
Oh Buck! I have to watch what I say with my Bucking Mouth....in front of the teacher at least
Nightshade gives Cheerlie a quick sorry, but Cheerlie just shajes her head in disappointment and walks to her desk. Nightshade then notices everyling staring at her, so she just sheepishly walks to her desk as class starts. She looks on the broad to see what their learning today and today's lesson is...the history of the Princesses!
School is kind of interesting, Since Princess Luna is all the talk around the school (seriously Pip won’t shut up about her) Cheerilee is giving a history lesson on what she was able to find on the accomplishments of the two sisters. One legend about them really catches your attention. The disappearance of the Crystal Kingdom, how Luna and Celestia failed to save it from an evil dictator who claimed he would return one day. N: Huh…ominous…
Because Princess Luna is all the talk around the school (seriously, Pip won’t shut up about her and although Nightshade feels she should take it as a compliment, she still has come thisclose to Falcon Kicking the colt) Cheerilee is giving a history lesson on what she was able to find on the accomplishments of the two sisters.
One legend about them really catches Nightshade's attention: The disappearance of the Crystal Empire. Specifically the part about how an evil dictator claimed he would return one day. This causes an ominous chill to crawl down Nightshade's spine causing her to mutter,
"Why do I get the feeling that me and Daddy are gonna end up there..."
"Is there something you would like to share with the class Nightshade?"
Miss Cheerilee asks causing Nightshade to blurt out in alarm,
"NO MA'AM!"
After a few more lessons about the princess (one of them about how they defeated Discord with the Elements if Harmony which caused Nightshade to shiver in dread of the mention of those Elements for some reason). The bell signals for one of Nightshade's favorite part of school... Lunch! But before she can get to it, Cherilee says...
Before everyone is let out for lunch, Cherilee walks up and asks to speak with you alone You tell your friends you’ll catch up. N: Umm…did I do something wrong? C: No no, nothing like that…it’s just that I wanted to get some clarification from you N: About what? C: Well, Twilight Sparkle came to see me yesterday and let me know that she’ll be Teaching you in some manner…but she didn’t explain further and you’re still here. N: Oh yeah, Princess Luna said I was really powerful and that Twilight would teach me how to control my powers so that I don’t accidentally try and kill daddy again…(your eyes widen) you didn’t hear that last part… C: Oh, MAGICAL teaching…ok I was worried there for a second, I thought the local librarian was trying to snatch up one of my students to try and show me up…heh heh…well alright then, off you go.
At school, everypony was asking how Nightshade's father was doing, most particularly curious was Cheerilee's.
"Nightshade, could you come here?"
Nightshade gulps before telling her friends,
"I'll catch up with you later."
The CMC give her various "Good luck Nightshade"s before Nightshade nervously comes over to Miss Cherilee.
"Umm…did I do something wrong?"
" No no, nothing like that… it’s just that I wanted to get some clarification from you."
"About what?"
"Well, Twilight Sparkle came to see me yesterday and let me know that she’ll be Teaching you in some manner… but she didn't explain further and you’re still here."
"Oh yeah, Princess Luna said I was really powerful and that Twilight would teach me how to control my powers so that I don’t accidentally squash daddy again-" Nightshade's eyes widen as she realizes what she just said and quickly adds, "You didn’t hear that last part!"
"Oh, MAGICAL teaching…" Cherilee says, oblivious to Nightshade's last comment "Okay, I was worried there for a second, I thought the local librarian was trying to snatch up one of my students to try and show me up… heh heh… well alright then, off you go."
Nightshade begins to walk off when Cherilee adds,
"Oh Nightshade."
"Yes Miss Cherilee?"
"Uh... how is your father."
"He's doing better, thanks for asking."
"Oh... well that's good... *coughs awkwardly*Kinda..."
"Well... I'm gonna go eat now..."
"Oh well... you go do that then..."
ONE SANDWICH LATER
You sit with the CMC outside and eat your lunches…or rather you just stare hungrily at Scootaloos Peanut Butter and Bannana sandwich. Scootaloo: For the last time no, you can’t have a bite! You already ate yours! N: COME ON! Fluttershy only packed me one Dandelion sandwich. ONE SANDWICH! What’s her game? Is she trying to starve me? Sweetie: Well she doesn’t really eat as much as others, maybe she thought it was enough AB: Yeah Shade, not everypony eats as much as you, she probably didn’t even think about. N: Sigh…I guess so…but still sooooo hungry… Scootaloo: How do you eat so much and stay so thin? Seriously, the only other pony who eats more than you is Pinkie Pie…are you two related at all? N: I don’t think so…I’m pretty sure daddy isn’t… Sweetie: Well what about your mom? N: I…don’t really know much about her…Daddy just keeps saying she lives in his mind Applebloom puts her hoof on your shoulder and gives you a knowing look AB: I know how you feel sister, here (hands you an apple slice which you immediately devour) N: Thanks (smile at her) AB: No problem, but who knows, maybe you’re related to someone right here in Ponyville and you don’t even know it Sweetie: Oh come on, what are the chances of that? You don’t know why, but you feel as if Irony has been dropped like a ten ton weight
"For the last time no, you can’t have a bite! You already ate yours!" Scootaloo says,
"COME ON! Fluttershy only packed me one Dandelion sandwich. ONE SANDWICH! What’s her game? Is she trying to starve me?!" Nightshade protest/whines.
"Well she doesn't really eat as much as others, maybe she thought it was enough." Sweetie says.
"Yeah Shade, not everypony eats as much as you, she probably ain't even think about." Apple Bloom adds.
Nightshade sighs in disappointment and says,
"I guess so…but still sooooo hungry…"
"How do you eat so much and stay so thin? Seriously, the only other pony who eats more than you is Pinkie Pie… are you two related at all?" Scootaloo asks.
"I don’t think so… I’m pretty sure daddy isn't…"
"Well what about your mom?" Sweetie asks.
"I… don’t really know much about her… Daddy just keeps saying she lives in his mind."
Applebloom puts her hoof on Nightshade's shoulder sympathetically and gives her a knowing look,
"I know how you feel sister, here"
Applebloom hoofs Nightshade an apple slice which she immediately devours,
"Thanks!" Nightshade says with a smile.
"No problem, but who knows, maybe y'all related to someone right here in Ponyville and you don’t even know it." Applebloom suggests.
"Oh come on, what are the chances of that?" Sweetie asks.
She doesn't know why, but Nightshade suddenly feels as if Irony has been dropped like a ten ton weight as suddenly, all Apple family members in the area all sneeze and get a feeling of dread for no explain reason. After saying that, Scootaloo tries to lighten the mood as she says...
Scootaloo decides to break the tension. Scootaloo: So, how is your dad doing? I hear he’s sharing a room with Rainbow Dash! Is she OK too? N: Yeah they’re both fine, Daddy will be out in no time, I guarantee it. He heals quickly, and the Filly fool…I mean Rainbow Dash looked alright, she was actually upset she had to stay. Scootaloo: Well that’s good then. Still, it’s awesome that he actually Saved Rainbow Dash! I mean you gotta be really cool to save the most awesome pony ever! Sweetie: sigh here we go again… Scootaloo: I mean, Rainbow Dash is cool and awesome, but then here comes your Dad out of nowhere, beating up Hydras and Princess Luna, and he saves her life to boot! AB: Ugh…it was bad enough when Pip wouldn’t shut up about Luna! Scootaloo: Heh, Night Shade don’t think this is creepy or anything, but I’m pretty sure your Dad is now my third most favorite pony ever, Behind Dash and the Hooded Offender obviously You think that technically that makes your Dad both Second and third, but you promised you wouldn’t tell about him being the Offender. N: Umm…thanks I guess? He’s my number one favorite I know that. Deciding to move on to another subject, Applebloom chimes in. AB: So, are you gonna be staying with us tonight? N: Yeah, it’s Tuesday, so I’ll be out in the shed I guess AB: Buck that, you’re gonna be staying in my room, It’ll be like a sleep over! We can tell ghost stories and do our hair and make smores and other fun stuff! N: Hey yeah, that sounds like fun, are you guys gonna be there? Sweetie: On a school night? Fat chance, Rarity might allow that kind of stuff, but Mom and Dad wouldn’t. Scootaloo: Yeah, I wouldn’t be able to go either AB: Don’t worry gals, we can have an actual group sleep over this weekend Sweetie: OK Then Scootaloo: We really haven't had one since the whole Cocatrice thing, so yeah count me in. N: Sounds like a plan CMC: CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS WEEKEND PLANNERS YAY!!! Pip: What was that?! Were you talking about Luna? AB: No Pip, go away! Pip: Alright Then!
"So, how is your dad doing? I hear he’s sharing a room with Rainbow Dash! Is she OK too?"
"Yeah they’re both fine, Daddy will be out in no time, I guarantee it. He's had worse and heals quickly. And the Fillyfool- I mean Rainbow Dash looked alright, she was actually upset she had to stay."
"Well that’s good then. Still, it’s awesome that he actually Saved Rainbow Dash! I mean you gotta be really cool to save the most awesome pony ever!"
"Here we go again…" Sweetie mutters in annoyance.
"I mean, Rainbow Dash is cool and awesome, but then here comes your Dad out of nowhere, beating up Hydras and Princess Luna, and he saves her life to boot!"
"Ugh…it was bad enough when Pip wouldn't shut up about Luna!" Applebloom moans.
"Heh, Nightshade don’t think this is creepy or anything, but I’m pretty sure your Dad is now my third most favorite pony ever, Behind Dash and the Hooded Offender obviously."
Well Daddy would be second AND third, but I promised Daddy I wouldn't tell anypony. Nightshade thinks.
"Umm… thanks I guess? He’s my number one favorite I know that." Nightshade says.
"So, are you gonna be staying with us tonight?" Applebloom chimes in.
"Yeah, it’s Tuesday, so I’ll be out in the shed I guess..."
"Buck that, you’re gonna be staying in my room! It’ll be like a sleep over! We can tell ghost stories and and make s'mores and other fun stuff!" Applebloom says.
"Hay yeah, that sounds like fun, are you guys gonna be there?"
"On a school night? Fat chance, Rarity might allow that kind of stuff, but Mom and Dad wouldn’t." Sweetie comments.
"Yeah, I wouldn’t be able to go either." Scootaloo adds.
"Don’t worry gals, y'all can have an actual group sleep over this weekend." Applebloom says.
"Okay Then" Sweetie says.
"We really haven't had one since the whole Cockatrice thing, so yeah count me in." Scootaloo adds.
"Sounds like a plan." Nightshade comments.
"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS WEEKEND PLANNERS YAY!!!"
"What was that?! Were you talking about Luna?"
"No Pip, go away!" The CMC all say at once.
"Alright Then!" Pip says before walking off.
"I swear to Luna, if Pip doesn't shut up soon, I'm putting a ghost pepper in his sandwich..." Nightshade mutters.
Hoping to stop Nightshade from possibly injuring Pip (even though she wouldn't mind it that much because the colt just won't shut up), Applebloom asks
"Gee girls, what should we do today after Nightshade's magic practice?"
Seeing a opportunity to reference on of the greatest animated serials she's ever seen, Nightshade says with a evil voice,
"The same thing we do every night, Applebloom - try to take over the world!"
The CMC just stare at Nightshade before Sweetie says,
"But Nightshade, we've never tried to take over the world before."
Nightshade blushes in embarrassment as she mumbles,
"It was just a reference."
The end of Lunch bell rings, and as Nightshade walks back into the school she runs into Button Mash playing the newest video game...
Chat with Button Mash about video games.
"Whoa! Is that Ponymon: Omega Ruby! You're so lucky dude!" Nightshade says.
"Nah, my mom was just nice enough to get it for me when it came out last week." Button Mash chuckles,
"Still, I wish I had that... or a game system in general..."
Button Mash gasps in horror,
"You don't have a game system?!"
"Sucks right? I mean the only game back in Appleloosa would be a rundown pinball machine."
"Unacceptable! You have got to come over sometime! Your dad too if he's as big as a gamer as you've told me. I got the new Brawl All-Stars and it is just Awesome!"
"Ahem..." Cherilee clears her throat causing Nightshade and Button to snap out of it and rush back into their seats.
To everypony's amusement, and Cheerilee's displeasure, Nightshade made many video game references and the occasional movie one-liner. Finally, school was over, and Nightshade was free to do what she pleases.
For the rest of the class day, Nightshade makes several references such as,
(When Nightshade hits Diamond with a spit ball and everypony is looking at her) *makes gestures and laughs like the Dog from Quail Hunt*
(When Diamond is whining, she whispers to Scootaloo) "She may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. She really is an idiot."
(When Cherilee is taking head count for the afternoon to make sure everypony is here) "It's-a me, Nightshade!"
Finally the final bell rings. With a quick goodbye to the CMC and Button Mash, Nightshade heads towards the library (she got a map earlier today, so she knows where it is). On her way there she runs into...
Maybe have Nightshade run into Applejack on the way to visit her dad. Who all the sudden wants to spend some time with her, and get to know her for some reason. Though Nightshade wouldn't know why. Applejack basically want to spend time with her, and get to know her more. The reason why though Nightshade wouldn't know it is because Applejack plans to hopefully start a relationship her father, and if things go well marry him. Which would make Nightshade Applejack's stepdaughter. Applejack: I just want to get to know you more. Nightshade: why? Applejack: Because you're practically a member of the Apple family. Besides if all goes well hun you will be joining the family someday. Applejack mumbles the last part. Nightshade: Um what was that last part i didn't hear you? Applejack stamers: Um nothing. Say how about we get you something to eat, and you can tell me more about yourself sugercube.
Applejack.
"Howdy Nightshade."
"Oh, Hi Applejack."
"Say Sugarcube, I've been wondering. Do ya wanna spend the day with me?"
"Why...?" Nightshade says as she gives the cowpony a confused look.
"I just want ta get ta know you more."
"Why?"
"Because you're practically a member of the Apple family."
And if all goes well with your father, your gonna be mah step daughter. So better to be on good conditions now rather than later... Applejack mentally adds before saying,
"Say, how bout we get y'all something ta eat and you can tell me more about yourself, sugercube?"
"I would love to spend some time with you Applejack (and some of your bits on free food), but I need to get to Twilight's for my magic training now."
Applejack looks disappointed before she says,
"Oh... okay. I'll see you at the farm later right?"
"Of course Applejack."
"Good! See ya then daugh-I mean Nightshade..."
And with that Nightshade leaves Applejack and continues her path to the library. However as she walks by a random house painted half red and half blue, she hears...
Please put in a 'what was noise' somewhere for instance a bomb or something goes of: "what was noise?' 'Sound of a really loud party my friend.' I would love that (because im a tf2 fanatic)
An explosion from that house.
"What was noise?" Nightshade asks as she looks around.
She then hears a bunch of voices from inside the house screaming. One said something about 'Spy sapping my Sentry' and she heard this really loud one screaming
"I AM BULLET PROOF!"
Deciding to ignore the weirdness, Nightshade continues to the library.
A FEW MINUTES LATER
Nightshade finally gets to the library and when she does she...
When you get to the library, Spike opens the door and is holding a tub of ice cream Spike: Hi Night Shade…please don’t kick me in the nards (holds Ice Cream over himself) N: (giggle) don’t worry Spike I won’t Spike: Oh thank Luna…so what do you need? N: I came to see Twilight, I’m hoping we can start our magic classes Spike: Ohhh…About that…now’s not a good time N: Huh? Why? Spike: Well…just look You go inside and see papers and books everywhere with hand drawings, and a black board with words “WHAT HAPPENS NEXT TUESDAY MORNING?” written over and over again on it. Twilight seems to be furiously writing onto a checklist Twilight: Spike! I need another quil! If I’m going to get these Townsponies to fix every possible accident tomorrow, then I’m going to need to be prepared! The Future is counting on me! You are very confused by what’s going on, so you just look to Spike and say the only thing you can at the moment N: The Buck is This?
sees Spike holding a tub of ice cream.
"Hi Nightshade… please don’t kick me in the nards again." He says as he holds Ice Cream over himself like a shield.
"Don’t worry Spike I won’t." Nightshade giggles.
"Oh thank Celestia… so what do you need?"
"I came to see Twilight, I’m hoping we can start our magic classes."
"Ohhh… About that… Now’s not a good time..."
"Huh? Why?"
"Well… just look." Spike says as he steps aside allowing Nightshade to enter. She goes inside and sees papers and books everywhere with hand drawings, and a black board with the words: “WHAT HAPPENS NEXT TUESDAY MORNING?” written over and over again on it. Twilight seems to be furiously writing onto a checklist.
"Spike! I need another quill! If I’m going to get these Townsponies to fix every possible accident tomorrow, then I’m going to need to be prepared! The Future is counting on me!" Nightshade is very confused by what’s going on, so she just looks to Spike and says the only thing she can at the moment,
Ok, Nightshade WWYDD? (What would your dad do?) You grab spike and duck underneath a table, hopefully out of sight. "What the buck I going on?" You whisper to spike. "I thought the pink one was supposed to be the psycho!" "Pinkie' s not a psycho," Spike whispers back. "She's just somewhat unhinged. Anyway, yesterday Twilight got a visitor from the future warning her of a great disaster ahead. Now she's going crazy over trying to stop it." "What kind of disaster?"You ask. "We don't know," spike replies. "The first future Twilight vanished before she could clarify." "Of course," you mutter. "They wouldn't allow spoilers." However, as the sentence escapes your lips, you suddenly get an idea.
n: Spike, is Twilight drunk? S: no, why...? n: because the way shes acting, its sounds like shes doing what my daddy calls drunk and/or mad science, which he also says will end in tears and/or pain... suddenly pinkie! P: YOU MUST CONSULT THE HELIX FOSSIL! pinkie drops a helix fossil in front of nightshade, and then vanishes. N, S, and T: what... T: Pinkie... I dont even... S: dude, that was creepy... N: ...did she just refrence Pokemon!? I like where this is going...
Nightshade looks back at the insane Twilight and can't help but notice how the purple unicorn is acting like a drunken sailor who just drank two gallons of rum. Nightshade looks over to Spike (who's still eating the ice cream) and grabs the dragon before ducking underneath a table (hopefully out of sight) and then asking,
"What the buck I going on? Is Crazlight drunk?"
Spike looks at Nightshade in confusion and says,
"No, she never dri-wait, Crazlight?"
Nightshade nods her head proudly as she says,
"Yep! That's gonna be my nickname for Twilight when ever she goes all loco like she is now. Like it?"
Spike looks at her for a second before he smiles and says,
"Hmmm, Crazlight... I like it! Munch better then "Dr. Insano-Twilighto" that I made up."
Nightshade struggles to hold back the laugh trying to escape her mouth as she thinks,
"Dr. Insano-Twilighto"? Oh Luna that's terrible! You need to work on your nicknames dude.
After that thought and holding back her laughter, Nightshade says in confusion when she realizes something,
"But I thought the pink one was supposed to be the psycho!"
"Pinkie' s not a psycho," Spike whispers back. "She's just somewhat... eccentric-"
"YOU MUST CONSULT THE HELIX FOSSIL!" Pinkie suddenly screams from beside the two before dropping a helix fossil in front of Nightshade and then vanishing.
"What..." Nightshade, Spike, and even Crazilight say at the same time.
"Pinkie... I don't even..."
"Dude, that was creepy..."
"...did she just reference Ponymon!? I like where this is going- Wait a second... did she just give away our position to the enemy?!"
Spike looks at Nightshade with confusion on his face as he asks,
"Position? Enemy? What are you talking ab-"
Suddenly the table is grabbed in a magical glow and thrown through the window, shattering both. A very angry, twitchy- eyed twilight stands above you both. "Spike," she growls darkly. "I thought I asked you to help me." Turning to you she smiles, which is somehow even more creepy. "Nightshade," she coos. "Perfect timing. I'm sure your earth bending skills will be invaluable in undoing the upcoming cataclysm," she says. "Ooh!" She cries. "Maybe Tennant is better now! With the three of us working to halt the apocalypse, nothing could stand on our way!" She throws back her head and let's out an evil laugh as lightning flashes in the background. Your response is one you've taken from your father's book. "Buck this!" You cry as you grab spike' s hand (he blushes slightly) and run out of the library with him. You turn down as street and don't look back.
Suddenly the table is covered in a magical purple glow and thrown through the window, shattering both. A unhinged, twitchy-eyed twilight stands above them both.
"Spike," she growls darkly. "I thought I asked you to help me."
Turning to Nightshade she smiles (which is somehow even more creepy).
"Nightshade," she coos, "Perfect timing. I'm sure your earth manipulation skills will be invaluable in undoing the upcoming cataclysm. Ooh!" She suddenly cries, "Maybe Tennant is better now! With the three of us working to halt the apocalypse, nothing could stand on our way!"
She throws back her head and lets out a mad laugh as lightning flashes in the background.
Taking a page from her father's book, Nightshade cries, "Buck this!" As she grab Spike's claw (causing him to blush slightly) and makes a dash towards the nearest door, which so happens to be the kitchen. After blocking the door with some nearby chairs and a table (Nightshade is quite strong for a filly huh?) she looks over to Spike to see that...
...he's sill eating the ice cream. Nightshade's eye twitches in annoyance (mostly because she wants some), but before she can say anything she notices something, the kitchen is covered head to toe in notes, blackboards, and data charts!
Nightshade's eyes widen in horror as she thinks,
No! Not the kitchen too! Doesn't Crazlight know that the kitchen is a sacred place that must never be touch with things that are not food related! That crazed witch!
Deciding to figure out exactly what's going on, Nightshade asks,
"No seriously, what is all this stuff?" you ask as you look around at the carts and papers and blackboards of information you can't even begin to comprehend. "Twilight got visited by her future self," Spike tells you as he scoops another glob of ice-cream into his mouth "tried to warn her about something bad happening on Tuesday morning, but like always, Twi wouldn't shut up long enough to listen." "I heard that!" Twilight yells from upstairs. "Yeah... she's been pretty irritable lately." Spike tells you, wincing "No coffee and no sleep make Twilight go crazy. She even wrote it down like a million times!" he shows you a typewriter next tot stacks of pages filled with the phrase. "So why are you chomping down all that ice cream?" you ask, as if you wouldn't be doing the same if you could "Won't Twilight get mad at you?" Spike chuckles around another mouthful of ice-cream "Nah, she's too worried to even pay attention anymore. She said I'd get a stomach ache, but that's future Spike's problem." *Ding!* a lightbulb goes on over your head. "I like the way you think Spike. You know what we need? Ice-cream eating Contest!" you yell, to which Spike agrees and you two head off to the freezer in the kitchen.
"No seriously, what is all this stuff?" as she looks around at the carts and papers and blackboards of information she can't even begin to comprehend.
"As I said before, Twilight got visited by her future self," Spike tells you as he scoops another glob of ice-cream into his mouth "tried to warn her about something bad happening in the future, but like always, Twi wouldn't shut up long enough to listen."
"I heard that!" Twilight yells from the other side of the door. Apparently she has calmed down enough to not bust it down. Nightshade sees Spike sweat drop before he tells her while wincing,
"Yeah... she's been pretty irritable lately. No coffee and no sleep make Twilight go crazy. She even wrote it down like a million times!"
To show that he's not exaggerating, he shows Nightshade a typewriter next to stacks of pages filled with the phrase,
No coffee and no sleep make Twilight go crazy.
Nightshade's eye twitches in indignation at the fact that Crazlight dare brought a tool of writing into a sacred storage of food, but calms down enough to ask,
"So why are you chomping down all that ice cream? Won't Crazlight get mad at you?"
Spike chuckles with another mouthful of ice-cream,
"Nah, she's too worried to even pay attention anymore. She said I'd get a stomachache and brain-freeze, but that's future Spike's problem."
*Ding!* a lightbulb goes on over Nightshades head.
"I like the way you think Spike. You know what we need? Ice-cream eating contest!" she yells, to which Spike agrees as Nightshade and him head off to the freezer in the kitchen.
FIVE TUBS OF ICE CREAM LATER
"Oooooooh my stomach and head hurt." Spike moans in pain as he holds his bloated stomach and his head, which is turning blue from the cold. Nightshade on the other hoof is perfectly fine as she's even headfirst into another tub of ice cream already. Spike looks at her slightly in awe and horror as he asks,
"How.... how can you eat that much ice cream yet not in pa-ahhhhhhhoooowww."
Nightshade sticks her head out of the tub with a smile and says,
"I don't know, I guess you just have less stomach room then me."
Spike just moans in pain at her answer. Soon Nightshade is done with her tub, she suddenly says (sugar jogging her memory),
"Wait a second... time travel...*ding*"
Nightshade rushes over to the downed Spike and asks,
N: Did she arrive in a big blue box? S: Huh? N: Future Twilight, did she come out of a blue box with a brown stallion? S: I don’t know, I was asleep! And what are you talking about? What Blue Box? N: The TARDIS! S: The buck’s a TARDIS? N: The thing the Doctor flies around in? S: What Doctor? N: The Doctor! S: Doctor Who? N: Exactly! S: What? (head spinning in confusion) N: Focus Spike! The Future of all existence may be in jeopardy! (runs up to Twilight) S: (shakes his head trying to get the crazy out) Mares be going crazy today (eats ice cream) N: Ms Twilight? T: Oh HI Night Shade my first and greatest student ever, how is your training going? N: Umm…you haven’t actually taught me anything ye… T: Great, so I see your memory is just fine. Anyway, I can’t really teach right now, I have to make a plan to save the future N: That’s what I want to talk about, what exactly happened! T: There’s not much to talk about, my future self showed up looking like she was in bad shape and tried to warn me about some disaster! Now I have to fix everything before it’s too late! N: But did she come in a big blue box? T: No, she came in some weird clothes though, here I drew a picture (shows drawing of future Twilight) N: Whoah, you look like a cross between Snake Plisken and Solid Snake T: What are you talking about? She…I didn’t look like a snake, let alone two! N: No it’s a refr…never mind…so you didn’t see a tan stallion in a blue box anywhere? T: Nope, now if you’ll excuse me, I have to outline the plan for refilling the water tower. N: But Ms. Twilight, if this disaster happens in a week, why are you waiting to warn everyone? T: Because I need to be prepared! I was going to tell everypony yesterday, but then Rainbow Dash had her accident, and she is vital to the plan, so I have to wait until she’s out. By tomorrow, everything will be perfect! N: Why do you need her for? T: To organize all the pegasi of course! N: Literally any pegasus could do that! Heck, Ms. Derpy could do this considering her experience. We can’t just wait for the filly fool…Ms Dash to heal. We’re running out of time! Twilight looks at you with newfound awareness T: You’re right! This can’t wait! I need to warn everypony now! Hopefully this is enough (looks at checklist) And you’re right! The Mail Mare’s knowledge of everypony’s address will be vital in spreading the word! N: uh…yeah, totally what I meant.. T: Then we haven’t a second to lose, Follow me my longtime student! N: This is my first day! Whoah (you and Spike are lifted onto her back as she runs into the middle of town) S: Way to go Shade, you just unleashed a crazy and less than prepared Twilight on the town You remember what happened last time that happened, you beat up your friends over a doll N: Buck…
"Did she arrive in a big blue box?"
"Huh?" Spike says through his simultaneous stomach and head ache,
"Future Crazlight, did she come out of a blue box with a brown stallion?"
"I don’t know, I was asleep! And what are you talking about? What Blue Box?"
"The TARDIS!" Nightshade declares.
"Ohhh... not so loud..." Spike whines, "and what’s a TARDIS?"
"The thing the Doctor flies around in?"
"What Doctor?"
"The Doctor!"
"Doctor Who?"
"Exactly!"
"Wha- owwww! This isn't helping my brain freeze or stomachache..."
"Focus Spike! The future of all existence may be in jeopardy!"
Spike just continues to moan in pain, causing Nightshade to deduce,
"Buck... I've never seen a brain freeze this bad. I'm gonna need 50cc's of hot fudge and 12ml's of ginger ale, stat!" she declares as she digs through the pantries and icebox before finding a squeezer full of hot fudge and a can of ginger ale. She then runs back to the downed dragon and says,
"Hold still, you're going to feel a slight chocolaty-gingery sensation."
"What ar- ack!" Spike replies before Nightshade uses her hooves to hold Spike's mouth open while using her magic to shake the levitating can of ginger ale before pointing it and the hot fudge squeezer at Spike's mouth and spraying both in.
As Spike swallows the sprayed mixture, Nightshade advises,
"Now just lay there for a few moments for the h.f. and g.a. to take effect while I go deal with Crazlight."
And with that she leaves the kitchen as Spike mutters,
"Mares be crazy today..."
Nightshade runs to Twilight and says,
"Ms Twilight?"
"Oh Hi Nightshade my first and greatest student ever, how is your training going?"
"Umm…you haven’t actually taught me anything ye-"
"Great, so I see your memory is just fine. Anyway, I can’t really teach right now, I have to make a plan to save the future."
"That’s what I want to talk about, what exactly happened?" Nightshade asks.
"There’s not much to talk about, my future self showed up looking like she was in bad shape and tried to warn me about some disaster! Now I have to fix everything before it’s too late!"
"But did she come in a big blue box?"
"No, she came in some weird clothes though, here I drew a picture!"
With that, Twilight shows Nightshade a drawing she made of future Twilight!
"Whoa, you look like cross between Snake Plisken and Solid Snake!" Nightshade comments.
"What are you talking about? She... I didn't look like a snake, let alone two!"
"No, it’s a refr- never mind... so you didn't see a tan stallion in a blue box anywhere?"
"Nope, now if you’ll excuse me, I have to outline the plan for refilling the water tower."
"But Ms. Twilight, if this disaster happens in a week, why are you waiting to warn everypony?" Nightshade asks.
"Because I need to be prepared! I was going to tell everypony yesterday, but then Rainbow Dash had her accident, and she is vital to the plan, so I have to wait until she’s out. By tomorrow, everything will be perfect!"
"Why do you need her for?"
"To organize all the pegasi of course!"
Nightshade thinks for a moment before saying,
"Uh... couldn't Ms. Derpy could do that? We can’t just wait for the fillyfool... I mean, Ms Dash to heal. We’re running out of time!"
Twilight looks at Nightshade with new found awareness,
"You’re right! This can’t wait! I need to warn everypony now! Hopefully this is enough!" Twilight says as she looks at a checklist, "And you’re right! The Mail Mare’s knowledge of everypony’s address will be vital in spreading the word!"
"Uh… yeah, totally what I meant...",Nightshade "agrees" uncertainly.
"Then we haven’t a second to lose, Follow me my longtime student!"
"This is my first day- Whoa!"
"Nightshade! You're crazy treatment wor- Whoa!" Spike says as he walks out of the kitchen before he and Nightshade are levitated by Twilight's magic and placed on her back before the purple unicorn runs into town.
"Way to go Nightshade, you just unleashed a crazy and less-than-prepared Twilight on the town." Spike says sarcastically,
Nightshade flashes back to the last time Twilight was like this, which causes her to sum up her feelings in one word,
"Buck…"
ONE CRAZED RUN LATER
Twilight stops at the bridge and starts addressing a crowd about how she was visited by herself in the future, and everyone starts laughing at her. N: Why are they laughing at her? S: Cause normal ponies don’t believe in Time Travel… N: But it is real! I know that because…wait…(sees a familiar stallion) Doctor? Twilight starts handing out orders for ponies to start working, and even tells Derpy to spread the word, which she agrees to.
Twilight has just finished addressing the crowd about how she was visited by herself in the future, but everypony starts laughing at her.
"Why are they laughing at her?" Nightshade asks Spike.
"Cause normal ponies don’t believe in time travel…"
"But it is real! I know that because…"
Nightshade's thoughts are interrupted when she sees a familiar brown earth stallion in the crowd.
"Doctor?"
Twilight starts handing out orders for ponies to start working, and even tells Derpy to spread the word, which she agrees to while...
You run into the crowd and talk to the Doctor as everyone disperses N: Doctor, Doctor! D: Oh hello Night Shade, did you have a pleasant Nightmare Night? N: yeah, I did, even though I didn’t have any candy, but still, what’s going on? Why were you laughing at Twilight, you know Time Travel is real? D: I would hope that I do, but look how she tried to explain the situation, it was quite hilarious. N: OK yeah it was (giggle) but still, what do we do? What happens next Tuesday Morning? And don’t you dare say… D: Spoilers N: Grrrrrr….. D: Sorry, you should know better than to ask…but I will give you a hint, everything will be fine N: OK I guess…but why are you here then? D: Well, I was just in the neighborhood, and the TARDIS picked up the energy of a time jump, so I thought I’d check it out…thought it was Torchwood at first… N: Who? D: Oh just an organization run by an old friend of mine who can’t die N: Huh? D: Oh that reminds me, if you or your father see an Earth Pony stallion in a cloak with chiseled good looks, macking on both Mares and Stallions who seems to keep dying and resurrecting, let me know. N: Ooookaaayyy… D: Well right then, I’ll be off, Gotta make sure Derpy doesn’t get hurt warning everypony. Oh and Night Shade… N: Yeah? D: Make sure your father doesn’t hurt Spike, no matter what he becomes N: Why would daddy hurt Spike? D: Spoilers N: Gaaaaggghhh!!! D: Hey, don’t yell like that, you’ll get premature wrinkles…here, have some Jelly Fillies He throws you a bag of Jelly Fillies which you immediately eat N: Thanks… The Doctor then gets into his TARDIS and blinks out. You spend the rest of the afternoon helping fix things around town. By the time you’re done, it’s almost sun down, you have to get the hospital soon, but before you can leave for it a Giant 3 headed dog jumps out in the middle of the street!
Nightshade runs into the dispersing crowd to the Doctor.
"Doctor, Doctor!"
"Oh hello Nightshade, did you have a pleasant Nightmare Night?"
"Yeah, I did even though I didn't have any candy, but still, what’s going on? Why were you laughing at Twilight? Don't you know Time Travel is real?"
"I would hope that I do, but look how she tried to explain the situation, it was quite hilarious."
"OK yeah it was." Nightshade giggles, "but still, what do we do? What happens next Tuesday Morning? And don’t you dare say..."
"Spoilers"
"Grrrrrr..." Nightshade growls in annoyance.
"Sorry, you should know better than to ask… but I will give you a hint, everything will be fine."
"OK I guess… but why are you here then?"
"Well, I was just in the neighborhood, and the TARDIS picked up the energy of a time jump, so I thought I’d check it out…thought it was Torchwood at first…"
Nightshade blinks in confusion,
"Who?"
"Oh just an organization run by an old friend of mine who can’t die."
"Oh... Huh?"
"Oh that reminds me, if you or your father see an Earth Pony stallion in a cloak with chiseled good looks, macking on both Mares and Stallions who seems to keep dying and resurrecting, let me know."
"Ooookaaayyy…"
"Well right then, I’ll be off. Gotta make sure Derpy doesn't get hurt warning everypony. Oh and Nightshade…"
"Yeah?"
"Spoilers."
"Gaaaaggghhh!!!" Nightshade yells in frustration and is just about to Falcon Kick the Time Lord in the nards when he suddenly says,
"Hey, don’t yell like that, you’ll get premature wrinkles… here, have some Jelly Babies."
The Doctor throws Nightshade a bag of Jelly Babies which she immediately devours.
"Thanks…"
"Gotta go. Allons-y!" The Doctor says before running off.
ONE BUSY AFTERNOON LATER
Nightshade spends the rest of the afternoon helping fix things around town. She helped with repairing a bridge, clearing the weeds off a dirt path, using daddy's duck tape to patch some leaks. By the time she's done, it’s almost sun down.
I need to visit Daddy soon! Nightshade thinks, but before she can go to the hospital...
A giant 3 headed dog jumps out in the middle of the street! Everypony else starts to panic and not-so-Crazlight says something (something about how the dog is called "Cerberus" and it's guarding something... whatever), but Nightshade is oblivious to all of this as there's only one thing is going through her mind...
When Cerberus appears, everypony panics, but seeing how Nightshade is the daughter of Nightmare Moon and thought spiders were cute, the only thing going through her mind was "GIANT PUPPY!!!" and she joins Fluttershy in cuddling the dog and asks if she can keep it as a pet.
"GIANT PUPPY!!!"
With that yell, Nightshade zips straight at the middle head and tackle-hugs it with enough force to knock Cerberus onto its back as she starts cuddling all three heads as Fluttershy flies in and starts rubbing the beast's belly.
"You're so cute! Yes you are, yes you are. Who's the cutest thing ever to existence? You are, yes you are, yes you are!"
"Who's the cute widdle three-headed dog?"
Everypony in Ponyville can only look on in shock at the scene as Spike comments,
"I... I think my respect *cough*crush*cough* for Nightshade just went up a thousand fold right now..."
"Fluttershy, can I keep him?! Please, please, please, please!" Nightshade begs as she gives Fluttershy the dreaded puppy dog look while hugging Cerberus so tightly that's it's causing him to whimper.
"Sorry Nightshade, but we have to give him back to his proper owners, he has a collar." Suddenly, Fluttershy gives Nightshade a light glare as she says, "And you're hugging the puppy too tight!"
Realizing what Fluttershy said, Nightshade quickly lets go of the middle head and repeatedly apologizes to the 3-headed dog. Twilight then walks over (worriedly) and asks,
"But, this doesn't make a lick of sense. Future me said that the huge disaster would happen next week on Tuesday, but Cerberus is right here. He must be the big disaster, so why is he here a week early?"
Nightshade, being the most qualified to talk about time travel among the two ponies, says,
"Time travel works in strange ways. It's quite possible that the future you went earlier into the past than she was supposed to, so she gave the right message to her wrong past self."
Fluttershy and Twilight give her confused looks before Twilight nods her head and says,
"So basically... wibbly wobbly timey wimey?"
Nightshade and Fluttershy look shocked that she knows the phrase causing Twilight to blush in embarrassment and say,
"What... I watch Doctor Who from time to time..."
Nightshade snaps out of her shock before she says with a smile,
"Yep Miss Twilight, wibbly wobbly timey wimey."
Fluttershy just meekly nods her head,
Twilight beams and says,
"YES! Fellow Whooviens! Nightshade, please tell me your father is one, cause if so then we can start a club!"
Nightshade nods her head excitedly, causing Twilight to sqee in happiness. She then chuckles a bit and says,
"We'll have our meeting when Mister Tennant gets out of the hospital. For now lets bring Cerberus back to his home in Tartarus!"
Nightshade and Fluttershy nod their heads and begin to follow Twilight with Cerberus in tow, when Nightshade suddenly stops with a shocked look on her face and screams,
"WAIT A STINKIN MINUTE! TARTARUS IS A REAL BUCKING PLACE!"
"Such language..." Fluttershy lightly admonishes.
"Yes Tartarus is a real place. You didn't know?"
"OF COURSE I DIDN'T BUCKING KNOW! IT'S THE FREAKING UNDERWORLD WHERE ALL EVIL COMES FROM! I WOULD HOPE SOMETHING LIKE THAT DIDN'T EXIST!!! WE SHOULD SUN-FRY THE ENTIRE SITE FROM ORBIT!!"
"Well it is a real place and it's needed to keep all the evil creatures and spirits in check, a few of which are unable to be die anyway." Twilight chuckles, "And watch your language."
ONE TRIP TO THE GATES OF TARTARUS LATER
"Oh,seems like we reached our destination. That was one fast trip. Hey, what is that red thing running off into the forest there?Do you think it's from Tartarus?" Nightshade shouts excited. "...so it would be very nice of you to stay here from now on. And what did you say Nightshade? There won't be coming any monster out of Tartarus now." Fluttershys says. "But I think I just saw one that already is out..." Nightshade begins, suddenly talking to nothing but air as Fluttershy flew back to town as fast as she could, needless to say Nightshade easily trotted up to her before Fluttershy was back in town.
Nightshade, Fluttershy, and Twilight (with Cerberus) finally reach the gates. Nightshade takes note of this and says,
"Oh,seems like we reached our destination. That was one fast trip. Hey, wanna go see Daddy after th-"
Nightshade stops talking as she sees a strange sight. She sees a skinny looking... thing running away from the gates. It has these weird looking arms, four hooves, and horns on it's head from what Nightshade can tell from this distance before it disappears into the trees. She looks at the now gone creature in worry and says,
"Say Miss Fluttershy and Miss Twilight. I think I saw-"
She stops when she sees Fluttershy and Twilight already ahead of her and drooping off Cerberus. She runs over to them and hears a bit of their conversation,
"...Now be a good dog and make sure that no monsters get past you. Okay?" Fluttershy says,
"But I think I just saw one that's already out..." Nightshade begins, but is interrupted when she sees...
Follow Twilight in returning Cerberus to the Gates of Tartarus and Falcon Kick SCP-173 (or whatever monster you guys want to add) that tries to slink off (but don't notice a centaur escaping...) *SCP-173* Twilight: [Gives description of creature and tries to warn Nightshad-] Nightshade: "FALCON KICK!" *Hits the creature causing it to let out a pained moan as it falls over in pain* Twilight: (*shocked stammering*) "But- How- It doesn't even have nards!"
Fluttershy and Twilight whip around towards Nightshade's screaming and see that the strange creature is now only a few inches away from Nightshade.
"LEAVE HER ALONE!!!" Fluttershy screams as she flies in front of Nightshade with speed that would make Rainbow Dash blink and protectively stands in front of the filly as she immobilizes the creature with "The Stare".
Twilight then says in horror,
"Both of you, don't look away! That's SCP-173! A creature that moves and kills with lightning speed when nopony is looking at it-"
"BUCK OFF PERVERT! FALCON KICK!!!"
Nightshade declares as her flame-encased hoof slams into SCP-173's nether regions causing it to let out a gurgling sound of pain before tipping over and rolling back towards the gate (because it's a statue) where one of Cerberus' heads quickly snatches it up and flings it back into Tartarus.
Fluttershy and Twilight look at the scene in frozen shock as Nightshade says,
"If it's one thing I learned from my daddy and Buster 'The Great Stone Face' Kimblewick, it's that nutshots solve everything!"
Quick Bugzy, you need a way out of this. Think fast! ...Wait, he doesn't do that well. Thankfully his mouth is faster than his brain in dangerous situations such as this, and as an effective natural defense mechanism, it spouts off the first random bit of dialogue it can think of. "This is not an 80's sit-com!" you scream, followed by more gibberish nonsense like "Always drink responsibly! Never buy the extended warranty on anything! Ketchup is a vegetable! All your base are belong to us." You see Dr. Quack has backed off and is holding his nose for some reason. You're about to ask why, but it soon becomes obvious when he throws a case of minty Tic-Tacs at you; apparently eating nothing but hospital food for a day and a half and then having your mouth wrapped shut gives you terrible breath. Thinking for a second, you decide to pocket the mints rather than eat them, in case Dr. Quacksalver gets any other ideas. *1 case of cheap mints added to inventory*
As Quacksalver's mouth gets closer to yours, you think in a panic,
I need a way out of this, bug! Think fast...
...
Buck! I suck at that!
Thankfully, the fact that your mouth is faster than your brain in dangerous situations such as this comes in handy in this case, so as an effective natural defense mechanism, it spouts off the first random bit of dialogue it can think of.
"This ain't a cheap sit-com!" you scream, followed by more gibberish nonsense like "Always drink responsibly! Never buy the extended warranty on anything! Ketchup is a vegetable! All your base are belong to us! Honest lawyers exist!"
"Ugh!"
You see Dr. Quacksalver has backed off you and is holding his nose for some reason. You're about to ask why, but it soon becomes obvious when he throws a case of minty Tic-Tacs at you. Apparently eating nothing but hospital food for a day and a half and then having your mouth wrapped shut gives you terrible breath.
I do feel hungry, but I'd better preserve my bad breath in case this Doctor gets any more ideas...
*1 Case of Cheap Mints added to Inventory*
You try to pocket the mints, but considering that you can't feel any of your hooves at the moment, it's just gonna have to stay on your chest for awhile. Dr. Quacksalver looks at you in confusion for a second, before you hear a *ding* from his direction. You look at his smiling face in dread as you think,
Oh buck, not the ding! Anything but the ding! Ding means he has an idea! A literally bloody idea!
And to your horror he says,
"Ahhhh, that must have been the changeling body's natural defense to ponies coming close to their unconscious bodies! Strange that it happens now and not with my other changeling patients... Then again this could be a new breakthrough for changeling-ology! Oh well. back to Teeth-to-Fang respiration!"
With that said, the quack moves back over to you and begins to slowly inch his mouth towards yours. You can only stare in horror as you think,
Is this nut blind or something! Can't he see my COMPLETELY BLUE CHANGELING EYES are open!? Ahh, doesn't matter! I gotta think of something and fast....
...
Buck it! Time to scream like a little filly!
And with that you inhale air into your lungs and then you...
You just start screaming while he is inches away from you, causing him to scream. Every time you scream, he screams and vice versa while your faces are extremely close After 5 minutes of consecutive screaming, you both catch your breath as he backs away
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" You start screaming.
Dr. Quack gives you a confused look, before he shrugs, smiles, and begins to scream as well!
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
This is gonna be awhile... ACTIVE THE TIME SKIP PROTOCOL!
You and Quacksalver slowly stop screaming as you both run out of breath. After breathing deeply (and you swear he says something about a "stupid metal lung..."), the doctor gives you a smile before he says...
Q: Well that was fun… Doctor Quacksilver just goes over the list of what he’s done Q: Well firstly, I shaved your liver, I massaged your kidneys, drained your stomach You: Why? Q: What, can’t a guy have fun while working? You: uhhhh… Q: I also had a pleasant conversation with your wife while you were under You: My wife? Q: OH yes, I don’t envy you by the way, my ex wife tried to control my life, but never to this extent. You: What are you talking about? Q: Well your eyes glowed orange and she began to berate and strangle me, so I made her less angry and more happy. You: She’s not my wife! She’s just the mother of my child… who is always with me...controlling me... Q: Eh, Tomato Tomahto You: (Nimmy, what’s going on?) S: I told you not to call me that…wooooooooooo….ha ha, everything is wonderful in your mind…echo echo echo (drugged) You: The buck? S: Heh heh, Celunza, you’re such a dork…(giggles) You: What's going on? S: I took allllllll the drugs so you wouldn't have to. Because thas how much I care...wooooooo You: What did you do? Q: I gave her a dose of happy fun time drugs, straight into your frontal lobe You look up and see a needle sticking out of your head You: Take it out Take it out! He takes it out and you whimper in pain S: Heh heh, what’s wrong? First time you been penetrated (laughs drunkenly) You: Shut up druggy!
"Well that was fun…"
"Fun!" you blurt out. "How is playing butcher on a living creature and screaming f- Hey, I feel alot better..."
To your surprise, your limbs and body feel much better as you can't feel any pain (the limb casts are still on you though).
"What... did you do to me?"
Doctor Quacksalver begins to go over the list of what he’s done as he puts his tools away (while/after rinsing them in whisky), and puts your body cast back on,
"Well firstly, I massaged your liver, drained your stomach, aligned your spine..."
"Why?"
"What, can’t a guy multitask on remembering his chiropractic skills while working?"
"Uhhhh…
"Anyway, I also had a pleasant conversation with your wife while you were under."
"My wife?" you ask in confusion.
"Oh yes. I've had quite a few patients who have relatives living in their heads. I don’t envy you by the way. My ex-marefriend tried to control my life, but never to this extent..."
"What are you talking about?"
"Well your eyes glowed orange several times during the operation. While your body did begin to quick-heal during your glowing eyes allowing me to opreate more, she began to berate and assault me, so I made her less angry and more happy."
"She’s not my wife!" you protest, "She’s just the mother of my child… who is always with me... controlling me..."
"Eh, Tomato Tomahto." He shrugs
Nimmy, what’s going on?
I told you not to call me that-weeeeeeeeee… hee hee, everything is wonderful in your mind… echo... echo... echo...
The buck? you think in confusion.
Heh heh, Celunza, you’re such a dork… S giggles.
What's going on? You mentally ask in concern.
I took allllllll the drugs so you wouldn't have to. Because thas how much I care... wooooooo...
"What did you do?" you ask Quacksalver.
"I gave her a dose of happy fun time drugs, straight into your frontal lobe." He replies as he pours whisky on a... battle ax?
You look up and see an empty syringe sticking out of your head.
"Take it out Take it out! TAKEITOUT!" you panic.
"I wouldn't recommend premature syringe removal as the Awakegens-" Quacksalver begins to advise before you interrupt screaming,
"TAKE THIS BUCKING NEEDLE OUT OF MY BUCKING SKULL NOW YOU BUCKING PSYCHO!!!"
With that, Quacksalver removes the syringe from your head.
Heh heh, what’s wrong? First time you been penetrated
Shut up druggy!
Quacksalver says he was operating on you for hours (and mentions details like taking a lunch break, getting organs mixed up, getting enraged at a kidney, etc.) and your eyes would sometimes glow orange and cause healing to speed up allowing Quacksalver to experiment/operate for longer.Finally he just crammed all your organs back into your cavity, held it in place with duct tape, and dug through your stuff for something to use when he came across a Bottle of red stuff and poured the whole thing in your open cavity which fixed everything (4 Healing Potions remaining).
The insane doctor then chuckles as he says,
"You know I was operating on you for hours on end! It took me all day from morning till evening to finally finish. And let me tell you it is not easy doing this in secret."
You gag at that as you scream,
"IN SECRET!"
Dr. Quack nods his head with a firm smile as he says,
"Yep, in secret. I also had to sneak out for my lunch break when I remembered that today is the last day of the '4 Bit Cottage Pie special' at Flankagan's Pub so I left a flashlight right next to you to provide your Vitamin Y centers in the pancreas with light auto-stimulation, but when I came back it was gone. I think it rolled and fell into you actually..."
You pale at this and think,
There's a flashlight in my gut! What is wrong with this quack?!
He smiles as he says,
"I also mixed up some of your organs with the spares we have in here, but don't worry I found the ones that were yours, but you might have an extra liver or set of lungs, just saying..."
Why do I have a feeling that this quack might have done that on purpose...
"Oh, and your kidney was really annoying by the way. I swear that thing would just not stay in place when I tried to put it back in. I never felt so angry in my life so I just dunked it in and let it be."
You think in dread and horror,
Please tell me kidneys are not an important organ!
The doctor then chuckles as he says,
"In the end I just stuffed all your organs into your body, duct taped them, and then went though your saddlebag in your room to see if I can't find anything to fix ya up."
You stare at him in horror as you think,
HE DUCT TAPED MY ORGANS! HOW THE BUCK AM I ALIVE!
"But lucky me, I found this strange red potion in your big, I just dumped it on ya, and then all your organs got back into place, you regrew your ribs, and then your chest just closed shut! Very hoofy stuff right there, mind if I take some for my night calls?"
You stare at him blankly as you say in a deadpanned tone,
"Yes, I do mind-" *crack*
Suddenly the realization of what Quacksalver just said hits you like a kidney being slam-dunked into an open cavity.
"LUNA DANG-IT I HAD HEALING POTIONS THE WHOLE BUCKING TIME!!!"
You really wish you could facehoof right now cause that was just pure idiocy on your part. You're about to ramble about how stupid you are when the quack clears his throat and says,
"Now where was I... oh ya..."
Q: Now then, let’s talk about the state of your squishy bits You: My what? Q: Well none of your organs looked healthy at all. They were all a sickly shade of yellow You: They were? Q: mmhmm, usually Changeling organs are a nice disgusting shade of green. Also you don’t have extra lungs or hollowed bones as others do. I know for a fact that changelings should have those after my first patient…he had trouble breathing till the end of his days after I removed them. You: What does this mean? Q: Well it means that he couldn’t breathe as good and died as he tried to run away from me and… You: NO! About my insides! Q: Oh, well I’m not sure…you kind of look like your insides are that of a ponies, only not the tantalizing red they usually are. You: oh…I think that might be because I’m actually a hybrid Q: Woof, one of your parents married a bug? Freaky! You: No it wasn’t them, it was my Grandbuggy that interbred Q: Ah, that would explain the yellow organs then, Red plus green equals yellow. Colors were always my major of study in school You: Kindergarten? Q: No, at Pranceton You really want to facehoof Q: So it appears that extreme healing powers come about from mating with other species…by Celestia that means that Mules are practically invulnerable. I must test this theory immediately! He tries to run but you stop him You: Wait! I’m still stuck on this table. Q: Oh right He starts wheeling you back to your room Q: OH, and also, I looked at your horrifyingly disgusting wings You: Hey!
"Let’s talk about the state of your squishy bits."
"My what?"
"Well none of your organs looked healthy at all. They were all a sickly shade of dark, blue-ish-ness... I think the color is properly called middle-knight or something like th-"
"They where?" you interrupt.
"Mmhmm, usually Changeling organs are a nice disgusting shade of green. Also you don’t have the hollowed bones or thinner muscles as others do. I know for a fact that changelings should have those after my first changeling patient…he had trouble moving till the end of his days after I removed them."
"What does this mean?"
"Well it means that he couldn't move as good and fell down a well when he tried to run off the operating table even th-"
"NO! About my insides- Wait, what did you d-"
Quacksalver interrupts you by continuing,
"Oh, well I’m not sure… Although your organs do look a bit like pony organs except not the usual shades of red and whitish they usually are."
"Oh…I think that might be because I’m actually a hybrid."
"Whoa, one of your parents nailed a bug? Freaky!"
"No it wasn't them, it was my Grandbuggy that interbred."
"Ah, that would explain the midnight organs then, Red-white plus green equals blue! Colors were always my major of study in school."
"Kindergarten?" you snark.
"No, Pranceton. Did I ever tell you about this Literature Major I met there?"
You really want to facehoof.
"So it appears that extreme healing powers come about from cross-mating with other species… by Celestia that means that Mules are invulnerable! I must test this theory immediately!"
He digs into his bag, pulls out a... flat wooden club with obsidian blades sticking out of it? (actually an Ahuizotl weapon known as a Macana), and tries to run, but you stop him by protesting,
"Wait! I’m still stuck on this table!"
Quacksalver stops in his tracks and looks back on your cast and bandage-covered form and sheepishly says,
"Oh right..."
With that. he starts wheeling you back to your room, but along the way he says,
"Oh, and also, I looked at your horrifyingly disgusting wings."
"Hey!"
"Did you know that they're functionally useless?"
"Well, I never did learn to fly but…wait…what?"
"Wait you didn't know? Oh... this is awkward..."
Your spirit droops as you say,
"Uh... Doctor... What's wrong with my wings?"
Quacksalver sighs in disappointment and says,
"Your wings are missing several necessary ligaments so I'm sorry to say that you'll never be able to fly..."
"Oh..." you say despondently at this news. Quacksalver notices your drop in mood and quickly chimes in,
"On the bright side, I gave you a free massage! Fun thing is, my parents wanted me to be a masseur but I knew the medical field is what I was meant for!"
"That explains why my spine feels so relaxed, but why do my shoulders feel sore?"
"Well, I also might have dropped you on the floor at some point... several times, but anyway, you should be fine."
You then frown and think darkly,
Of course, those bullies back at the Hive have always bullied me for being unable to fly with "hover-away" and now I realize they were picking on me for being disabled. Bastards...
You shake off the dark thought as you are being wheeled back to your room (Thank Luna) you remember something the non-insane doctor told you. Deciding to see if Dr.Quack has some answers, you ask,
Ask Quacksalver about the Heart anomaly that the other Doctor mentioned.
"Uh... Quacksalver, earlier the other Doctor mentioned something about me having a 'heart anomaly'. Did you see anything strange about my heart while operating on me?"
"Pffft." Quacksalver dismisses, "That 'Doctor' has no idea what he's talking about. Don't worry about it, your heart is beating as clearly as a crystal."
As you ponder the Quack's strange answer, he bumps you into...
The doctor is then stopped in the hallway and chased out since he’s on probation, so he wheels you at the orderlies and Nurse Redheart as he runs away Q: Bye Everypony! NR: Are you Ok Mr. Tennant? You: I think so…might want to keep an eye on any mules in town though…
"Quacksalver, what did we tell you about coming into our hospital?" "YOU WILL NEVER GET ME!" Quacksalver shouts and runs over nurse Redheart out of the room.
Nurse Redheart.
"Quacksalver! What did we tell you about coming into our hospital?!" she says angrily.
"Uh... Goodbye Everypony!"
And with that, Doctor Quacksalver quickly turns around and makes a break for the exit (window) behind you, but before he can get there, a security guard earth pony stallion with a Mohawk jumps in front of the window and blocks him. Quacksalver hits the brakes and shouts out in defiant anger,
"HEY, YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME AWAKE!"
He turns around and runs towards you, but a unicorn dressed in a fancy doctor clothes unknowingly walks in between you and him. Quacksalver can't stop himself in time...
*WHAM shatter crash*
And he slams into the fancy unicorn doctor, Quacksalver's strength sending the unicorn flying so far that he crashes through the window next to you... and you're all on the second floor. You, Nurse Redheart, and the security guard stallion all go to the window (you wheeled yourself with your horn magic) where you all see... a very broken-looking and unconscious unicorn doctor who's lying in a smashed taxi carriage. You hear the driver shout in annoyance,
"HEY! Watch where you're falling! You know how much they take out of my pay for repairs?!"
Nurse Redheart gets a angry scowl as she whirls around and glares at the nervous quack as she yells,
"You idiot! That was the heart specialist that was gonna check Mister Tennant's heart anomaly!"
Quacksalver's chuckles nervously as he uncertainly says,
"Uh... he looked like a fake?"
The three of you give the Quack deadpan "you gotta be kidding me" looks before he says,
"And that's my que... TO BAIL!"
"Night Watch, get him!" Nurse Redheart yells to the now-named security stallion who preapres to charge the quack, but Quacksalver then puts his hoof into his lab coat pocket, takes out his "Burknomic Scalpel", and then throws it at the guard, who dodges it, but it ricochets off the wall and smashes Night Watch in the nards.
You wince in pain as you subconsciously try to move your hooves to cover your nards, but remember that you can't move your hooves quiet yet, so you just continue wincing as the guard falls over in pain. Quacksalver smiles in victory and says "Just put some frozen walnuts on that and you'll be fine in an hour" as he runs towards the window, snatches up the Burknomic Scalpel along the way, and before he jumps out he says,
"You will always remember the day you almost captured, Doctor Quacksalver!"
And with that he jumps out of the window.
*crack-pop*
You and Nurse Redheart (her wheeling you) run over to the window to see that Quacksalver landed on and knocked out the taxi carriage driver, but he appears to be limping.
"Darn! Dislocted again." Quacksalver says before he takes his "Burknomic Scalpel" and (to the wincing of you and Redheart) uses it to smash his shoulder back into place. He then turns to the unconscious unicorn Doctor with intent to "heal" before Nurse Redheart screams,
"GET AWAY FROM HIM!!!"
Quacksalver is startled a bit by Nurse Redheart's shouting, but then regains his composure, looks up at her, and says,
"Oh, Hai Hearty! We still on for Olive Grotto at 6 tomorrow?"
Nurse Redheart gets a annoyed twitch as she shouts,
"FOR THE LAST TIME: NO! NOW GET OFF THE PROPERTY!"
And with that he trots off. As the spectacle ends, you can't help but think,
Why do I have a feeling that I'm going to be seeing him again... nah just my imagination. Although he does know I'm a changeling, but doesn't care...
"WHATTTTTTTT?!" you yell in surprise, "YOU AND THAT PSYCHO ARE A THING?!"
"Were a thing." Redheart corrects, "At least until I broke up with him."
"Then why is he asking you about a date?"
"That idiot keeps forgetting I dumped him. Although he always did make me laugh, he has good taste in restaurants, and in the bedroom..."
Nurse Redheart blushes as she says the last part, but she quickly shakes her head and blurts out,
"A-anyway that's in the past! Let's get you back to your room."
"Okay." you say, but then you remember what Quacksalver said earlier so you tell Redheart, "By the way, you might want to tell the local guards to keep a protective eye on any mules in town…"
15 MINUTES LATER
The Doctors want you stay overnight as a precaution, but when you get to your room, you see them putting Dash into a wheelchair and forcing her out D: Tennant! I didn’t get to finish it! You: You Read Ahead without me? D: Shh…not so loud…but yeah, Daring Do got captured by Azuihotl and is in a death trap! You: Holy Buck! NR: Alright Ms Dash, time for you to leave As they wheel her out D: I’LL COME BACK FOR YOU!!! (she’s looking at the book before her eyes shift to you) And you too Tennant You are then suddenly left in the room by yourself You: Buck it, gotta find out what happens And you use your magic to read and catch up to where Daring Do gets captured, when suddenly Nightshade, Twilight, Fluttershy and Spike come into your room, causing you to drop the book under the bed T/F/N: Hi Daddy/Tennant Nightshade hugs you You: Hey girls and Spike…why do you all look tired and dirty T: Oh it’s nothing to worry about, just a bunch of town repair and animal rescue You: oookkkaaayyy…. F: Oh…where’s Rainbow Dash? You: She got released about 20 minutes ago T: Oh no, we were so busy we didn’t visit her! Oh…she must think we hate her! You: I doubt that, I don’t think she even noticed T: Why do you think tha… Suddenly, Spike Burps up a letter and it hits Twilight under the eye which you smirk at Twilight: Oh no (runs to the mirror) N: You OK Ms. Twilight? T: This is terrible! S: It’s just a lost dog flier T: The Cut! The cut under her…my eye! N: Huh? S: It’s just a paper cut Twi, it’s not so bad T: Don’t you understand Spike, this is a sign, the Future hasn’t changed! THE DISASTER IS STILL COMING!!! She then rushes out of the hospital before Spike and Fluttershy leave, they turn to you F: Don’t forget hood…Tennant, Two Days S: Bring snacks N: What was that all about? You: Oh nothing…just secret stuff, why was Twilight freaking out? N: Oh just Crazlight goin nuts because she thinks something bad is going to happen in the future You: Huh? Nightshade then explains the morning’s craziness, including her trip to freaking Tartarus. N: And then I kicked the Weeping Angel type statue in the nards. S: Awww…I’m so proud of her. Such a little warrior princess already…we should have named her Xena instead (still drugged) You: …How does a statue…never mind…wow you’ve had a busy morning N: Buck ya I totes did You: What have I told you about your language? N: oops, sorry daddy….Buck yeah I TOTALLY did. You: That’s better N: So how was your day? You: Oh not bad, (just got operated on by a mad man) pretty boring actually (I’ll never go to a hospital again) yup…(I don’t think I’ll sleep at all tonight) N: Nice, oh, and one more thing, the Doctor told me to tell you to tell him if we ever see an Immortal Stallion that likes both mares and stallions running a place called Flame Bark or something You: TorchWood? N: Ya that's it You: Bucking Captain Jack is real too? (How the heck is the show so accurate?) N: Who? You: Somepony you shouldn't be hanging around with...but thanks for the heads up honey. N: Alright then, well I’m gonna go now, me and Applebloom are gonna have a mini-sleep over tonight You: Daawww…that sounds so cute. Have fun Sweetie, hopefully I’ll see you by tomorrow N: Ok then (hugs you) Night Daddy, Love you You: Love you too honey And she walks out the door
Even though you feel fine, the Doctor (who you passed in the hall) wants you stay overnight as a precaution, but when you get to your room, you see them putting Dash into a wheelchair and forcing her out.
"Tennant! I didn’t get to finish it!" she whispers.
"You Read Ahead without me?"
"Shh… not so loud… but yeah, Daring Do got captured by Azuihotl and is in a death trap!"
"Holy Buck!" you whisper in response as Nurse Redheart puts you on the bed before saying to Rainbow Dash,
"Alright Ms Dash, time for you to leave."
As they wheel her out she says,
"I’LL COME BACK FOR YOU!!!" She’s looking at the book before her eyes shift to you, "And you too Tennant..."
The earth pony nurse mare with a yellow coat and two-tone light blue mane and tail from before (who you now learn is Nurse Snowheart) comes in and gives your dinner of a large bowl of broccoli cheese soup, a tall glass of chocolate milk with a straw, and a plate of pineapple jello (Score!) before leaving the room and you are then suddenly left in the room by yourself,
Buck it, gotta find out what happens.
With that, you use your magic to read and catch up to where Daring Do gets captured while eating your dinner (along with those mints Quacksalver gave you *(0 Cases of Cheap Mints remaining*)when suddenly Nightshade, Twilight, Fluttershy, and Spike come into your room, causing you to drop the book under the bed.
"Hi Daddy/Tennant!" The four say to you as Nightshade hugs you,
"Hey girls and Spike… why do you all look tired and dirty?"
"Oh it’s nothing to worry about, just a bunch of town repair and animal rescue." Twilight answers.
"Oookkkaaayyy…" you say uncertainly.
"Oh… where’s Rainbow Dash?" Fluttershy asks.
"She got released about 20 minutes ago." you answer
"Oh no, we were so busy we didn’t visit her! Oh… she must think we hate her!" Twilight moans.
"I doubt that, I don’t think she even noticed..." you snark.
"Why do you think tha…"
"BURP!"
Suddenly, Spike burps up a letter that it hits Twilight under the eye which you smirk at,
"Oh no!" Twilight says as she runs to the mirror.
"You OK Ms. Twilight?" Nightshade asks.
"This is terrible!" Twilight procliams.
"It’s just a lost dog flier-" Spike says before Twilight interrupts.
"The Cut! The cut under her… my eye!"
"Huh?" You and Nightshade say.
"It’s just a paper cut Twi, it’s not so bad."
"Don’t you understand Spike, this is a sign, the Future hasn’t changed! THE DISASTER IS STILL COMING!!!" Twilight says before then rushing out of the hospital. Spike and Fluttershy follow suit, but just before leaving they turn to you.
"Don’t forget hood- Tennant, Two Days..." Fluttershy says.
"Bring snacks." Spike adds.
"What was that all about?" Nightshade asks as Fluttershy and Spike leave.
"Oh nothing… just secret stuff." You answer, "Why was Twilight freaking out?"
"Oh, just Crazlight goin nuts because she thinks something bad is going to happen in the future." Nightshade answers.
"Huh?"
Nightshade then explains the morning’s craziness, including her trip to freaking Tartarus!
"-and then I kicked the Weeping Angel-type statue in the nards!" Nightshade finishes.
Awww… I’m so proud of her. Such a little warrior princess already… we should have named her Xena instead... Selena says in a still obviously drugged state.
"…How does a statue… never mind… wow you've had a busy morning." You say in reply to her story.
"Buck ya I totes did!" Nightshade replies.
"What have I told you about your language?" you scold.
"Oops, sorry daddy... Buck yeah I TOTALLY did!"
"That’s better. Can't have you talking like a shallow stupid valley filly after all."
"So how was your day?"
"Oh not bad, just got operated on by a psychotic quack... pretty boring actually I’ll never go to a hospital again... yup… I don’t think I’ll sleep at all tonight...
"Nice, oh, and one more thing, the Doctor told me to tell you to tell him if we ever see an Immortal Stallion that likes both mares and stallions running a place called Flame Bark or something-"
"TorchWood?" you interrupt.
"Ya, that's it."
"Bucking Captain Jack is real too? How the hay is the serial so accurate? Note to self: Ask Doctor about it later..."
"Who?" Nightshade responds to your rambling.
"Somepony you should not be hanging around with... but thanks for the heads up honey."
"Alright then, well I’m gonna go now, me and Applebloom are gonna have a mini-sleep over tonight!"
"Daawww…that sounds so cute... Have fun Sweetie, hopefully I’ll see you by tomorrow."
"Sweetie Belle can't come, but ok then." Nightshade hugs you before continuing, "Night Daddy, Love you."
"Love you too honey."
You sigh in relaxation as Nightshade leaves and you slowly fall asleep, but before you do you remind yourself...
Remember that the Horde meeting in now in 2 days.
Horde meeting in 2 days. Hopefully I can stop this "revolution" before it spirals out of control...
THAT NIGHT
You wake up when you hear a noise and open your eyes to see...
Later that Night you are woken up because a Ninja is standing over you! You: HOLY BUCK! BUCKING NINJAS!!! NIIIINNNNJJJJAAAASSSS!!!! A hoof is shoved in your mouth stopping your screaming D: Shut up you idiot! I came to read to you!
The door opens, and standing there, ominously cast in shadow before being revealed by a beam of moonlight is... A pizza delivery colt? "Yeah I've got a delivery her for an..." he reads the delivery slip "I.C. weiner? Gah, crud." frowning at the misfortune of being the victim of yet another practical joke, he then turns to you and rainbow. "Hey, you two want this junk?" he offers you the stack of pizza boxes. You and Rainbow exchange a silent glance and slowly turn back to him. The two of you give him a shrug, to which he smiles and deposits the boxes of hot pizza goodness onto your torso. "Heh-hey, Daring Do. man I love those books; only ones I really found worth the read. Mind if I join you?" he asks and pulls up a seat, putting his hooves up on the bed and leaning precariously in his chair. "Uh... sure. Why not?" Rainbow gives a rhetorical answer and is about to start reading when the door is thrown open again. The pizza colt falls backward in surprise and gets rolled into a large freezer, leaving you and Rainbow to deal with... (whoever else in wandering in that night.)
The door opens revealing a figure ominously cast in shadow. You and Rainbow Dash look at the figure in anxious terror before it takes a step forward and is revealed by a beam of moonlight to be... A pizza delivery colt with an orange mane?
"Yeah I've got a delivery her for an..." he reads the delivery slip "I.C. Weiner? Gah, crud." frowning at the misfortune of being the victim of yet another practical joke, he then turns to you and Rainbow Dash.
"Hey, you two want this stuff? We tend to throw away unclaimed pizzas anyway." he says as he offers you two the tall stack of pizza boxes.
You and Rainbow exchange a silent glance and slowly turn back to him. The two of you give him a shrug, to which he smiles and deposits the boxes of hot pizza goodness onto your torso.
Mmmm... Multiple melted cheeses with tomato sauce on hot flat br- OW OW OW! BURNING!
"Heh-hey, Daring Do! Celestia, I love those books; only ones I really found worth the read. Mind if I join you?" he asks and pulls up a seat, putting his hooves up on the bed and leaning precariously in his chair.
"Uh... sure. Why not?" Rainbow gives a rhetorical answer and is about to start reading when the door is thrown open again.
The pizza colt falls backward in surprise and gets rolled into a large freezer (how'd that get there?) and the shock knocks the pizza boxes off of you onto the floor (by some miracle, the Pizzas don't fall out of the boxes), leaving you and Rainbow to deal with... Nurse Redheart!
"Uh... This is not the pony you are looking for?" You say as you wave a hoof hopefully. "Move along, move along."
Unfortunately it doesn't work, so you decided now would be the time to use a power that you've kept secret for your entire life: The Force. "Um..... "you stare at the nurse as rainbow got out from under the bed and to all fours. "Sir im afraid only patients and staff are alloud here at this hour, so your friend will have to leave." You decide you have no choice but to use your power. "No," you start, "my friends are allowed here." The nurse sighed. "Sir do i have to call security?" You stare at her in shock for moment, as you where amazed her mind was strong enough to resist you. You concentrate harder than before and give a wave of your hoof. "You will let rainbow stay...." the nuse merely gave you a half lidded blank stare. "sir, please, just stop." The nurse said face hoofing. "You will follow my orders..." the nurse simply rolled her eyes at your attempt to bend her (of course you diddint see that due to [INSERT REASON HERE]). "And you will allow dash to say for as long as she likes...." "Yes master" came the monotone reply of the nurse. Finally she was under your control! It was at this moment you decided to put your new puppet to work. "Good. Now, you will shut up and make me a sandwich....." the mares eye twitched. "Well come on go! any day now! chop chop!" "excuse me!?" The nurse replied through gritted teeth. "....Im not sure if i should be offended or laughing my flank off..." the rainbow Pegasus chipped in. You decided you should probably say less 'offensive' things and make your orders simpler for this moron. In an annoyed tone, you say "ok, fine! get me some cookies or something If your so uptight about making a simple bucking sandwich!" The nurse took a deep breath in an attempt to calm her self and spoke with very carefully controlled anger. "Sir..... i have half a mind to-" "apparently you bucking do if you cant follow simple directions!" "That's it!" The nurse yelled, her somewhat calm demeanor shattering." If you want a sandwich so bad you go make it your bucking self! Im done with every guy in this place acting like im two bit hor-" You look towards rainbow dash as you start to tune out the nurse and whisper "hide!" "Nurse!" A gruff voice called down the hall as RD returned to her place under the bed. A very stressed looking stallion with an tie around his neck suddenly appeared in the doorway. "This is the last straw missy! Yelling at a patient in the middle of the night and doing it when other ponys are trying to sleep?! I could here you all the way down the hall!" The stallion yelled, "im afraid im going to have to-" " no please dont say it! I'll do anything! I can't afford to lose another job, and im NOT going back to freddys!" "Give you the week off." "Huh?" The nurse said in confusion. "Yes nurse you seem to lose you temper awful fast now and we can't afford to fire you so..... go home and get some rest." The nuse looked in confusion, failing to comprehend what was happening. "I-I thank you sir!" "Dont mention it. Now get out of here and dont come back till a week ok?" He said to the mare as she walked out of the room. "He then turned to you. "Sorry you had to see that sir. Would you like me to send another nurse up?" "No thats ok." You smugly reply as the stallion walked out of your sight.
"Sir I'm afraid only patients and staff are allowed here at this hour, so your friend will have to leave."
She stares at you and Rainbow and you can't help but think,
Buck! If Nurse Redheart tells anyling about this, they'd think that me and Rainbow were... dating!
...
Yes, that's what your thinking right now, nothing else just that. You are not a bright bug. Suddenly, another thought hits you as you think,
Double buck! I promised I would keep Rainbows 'I read books' secret a secret. And Bugze the changeling never goes back on his word Dattebayo!... Weird, where did that come from. Whatever, I need to think of something to stop Redheart from blabbing...*ding* I got it!
You smile at your idea that in no way will fail at all. After all it always works in the movies. So with that you point your hoof towards Redheart and make a waving gesture as you say,
"Uh... This is not the pony you are looking for?"
Redheart just shakes her head and says
"I'm sorry Mister Tennant, but she has to leave. Those are the rules."
You make another hoof gesture and say
"No, my friends are allowed here."
Redheart sighs and says,
"Sir do I have to call security?"
You stare at her in shock for moment, as you where amazed her mind was strong enough to resist you. You concentrate harder than before and give a wave of your hoof,
"You will let her stay...."
Redheart merely gives you a half lidded blank stare and facehoofs as she says,
"Sir, please, just stop..."
"You will follow my orders..." you continue with another wave of your casted hoof.
Redheart simply rolls her eyes at your attempt to mind-bend her as Rainbow Dash slowly sneaks under your bed.
"And you will allow her to say for as long as she likes..."
"Yes master..." came the monotone reply of the nurse. Finally she was under your control! It was at this moment you decided to put your new puppet to work.
"Good. Now, you will shut up and make me a sandwich."
Nurse Redheart snaps out of it and her eye twitches in anger.
"Well come on go! Any day now! Chop chop!" you command.
"Excuse me!?" Redheart replies through gritted teeth.
"I'm not sure if I should be offended or laughing my flank off..." Rainbow Dash chips in from under the bed.
You decided you should probably say less "offensive" things and make your orders simpler for this puppet so in an annoyed tone you say,
"Okay, fine! Get me some cookies or something If your so uptight about making a simple bucking sandwich!"
The nurse took a deep breath in an attempt to calm her self and spoke with very carefully controlled anger,
"Sir... I have half a mind to-"
"Apparently you bucking do if you can't follow simple directions!" you rudely interrupt.
"That's it!" The nurse yelled, her somewhat calm demeanor shattering."If you want a sandwich so bad you go make it your bucking self! I'm done with every guy in this place acting like I'm a two-bit hor-"
"Nurse!" A gruff voice called down the hall as a very stressed looking stallion with a tie around his neck suddenly appears n the doorway.
"This is highly unprofessional of you! Yelling at a patient in the middle of the night and doing it when other ponies are trying to sleep?! I could hear you all the way down the hall!"
Doctor Horse yells
"And to think I hired you for your impeccable bedside manner. I'm afraid I'm going to have to-"
Redheart gets on her hooves and says in a begging tone
"No please don't say it! I'll do anything! I can't bear having to work with my idiot ex!"
"Give you the week off."
"Huh?" Redheart says in confusion.
"Yes. Nurse Redheart, ever since that Quack showed up, you seem to lose you temper awful fast now and we can't afford to fire you so... go home and get some rest."
The nurse looked in confusion, failing to comprehend what was happening.
"I-I thank you sir!"
"Don't mention it. Now get out of here and don't come back till...let's say a week...okay?" He says to the mare as she nods and walks out of the room.
He then turns to you.
"Sorry you had to see that sir. Would you like me to send another nurse up?"
"No thank you." You reply.
Rainbow Dash stares dumbly as the doctor leaves. Rainbow then crawls out from under your bed as she looks at you in awe as she says,
"Did... did that actually work?"
You nod your head dumbly as you stare at your hoof in shock for two reasons. One was that you did all those hoof gestures while your still in your full body cast, and two YOU JUST USED THE STINKING FORCE! THAT'S LIKE EVERY NERDS DREAM! Plus you didn't think the whole 'Force' thing would work, so you were really surprised. You awkwardly throw your hoof up and say,
"I must only use this power for good!"
Rainbow giggles at your outburst and asks,
"Heheheh, By the way, why were you so mean to her?"
You look at her in confusion, before you make a 'oh' sound and say
"Simple, I've learned in life that when you make people mad they ted to ignore what's happening around them and focus sorely on what's making them mad."
That's how I get you to miss me so munch when we fought. Plus witty batter is awesome!
"Whatever you say B.T, now let's get to reading. I wanna know what happens next!"
You nod your head (guess your head cast was looser then before) excitedly and are about to say something when the door burst open... again!
You and Rainbow turn around in shock and see...
The door opens to reveal...a whole group of people dressed like ninjas. No,seriously,what is with ninjas and today? RD stops moving out of fear,and you are shocked too,but then you hear voices: "Oh,seems like Lyra was in another room after all.You sure she was supposed to be in room 12?" "Yes!Maybe?I was told things...by people." "And you believe some obscure,random things you heard in the hallway?" "I hate you." "Well,let's try the information I have.Let's check room 15." "Wait,I've got to say something before we go.Bugze?" "Yes?" you ask. "Spoilers." You groan,you think you know who that was,but it's how he's doing it. You hear the door closing,RD starts to move,but suddenly the door opens again! (Use other comments from now on)
A whole group of ponies dressed like ninjas.
Seriously, what is up with all these ninjas today? you think in confusion as Rainbow Dash freezes in fear, but then you hear voices coming from the ninjas, but due to their masks you can't tell who's saying what to who,
"Oh, seems like Lyra was in another room after all.You sure she was supposed to be in room 12?"
"Yes! Maybe? I was told things... by people."
"And you believe some obscure, random things you heard in the hallway?"
"I hate you."
"Well, let's try the information I have. Let's check room 15."
"Wait, I've got to say something before we go. Mister Tennant?"
"Yes?" you ask.
"Spoilers."
You groan in frustration as you realize who one of the ninjas are. As the ninja-clad ponies leave and shut the door, Rainbow says with uncertainty,
"Uh... should we be worried about Lyra?"
You shake your head and say,
"Nah, I have a pretty good idea as to who one of them was, and he doesn't kill innocent ponies, so they're probably on a rescue mission or something."
Rainbow looks at you strangely and asks,
"But this is a hospital. In Ponyville. Why would Lyra need rescuing here?"
You put on a thinking face as you say,
"Well... there's evil cat nun's/nurses, Daleks, terrorist ponies creating a bio-weapon out of every known deadly disease know to pony kind, murderous ghosts, creatures from the Everfree, oh and can't forget about zombies; never forget about zombies."
Rainbow just stares at you for a few seconds before she just says "Whatever" and begins to read the book.
MANY CHAPTERS LATER
You and Rainbow are on the edge of your seats as you reach the climax of the story (you both devoured two of the boxes of pizza during the reading) where Daring Do is about to have a one-on-one fight with Ahuizotl to get the Sapphire Stone! Just before the fight begins, the door opens... again, but you and Rainbow Dash are getting to annoyed about being interrupted from your story session so you both shout out in annoyance and anger,
"NOT NOW, WE'RE BUSY!"
Realizing what you both just did, you both look over to the door and see...
I also recommend that Nurse Snowheart be the ex-ninja as Nurse Redheart's character is already established within the show.
NR: HOOVES OFF THE PATIENT ASSASSIN!!! She dives over your bed with a flying kick which Rainbow Dash is JUST able to dodge by going under the bed and to your other side RD: Whoah! You: Calm Down, it’s just… NR: I WILL NOT LOSE ANOTHER PATIENT TO YOU DAMNED NINJAS! You: Another? (you ponder how this exact situation has happened before) She then whips out three syringes and throws them, pinning Dash to the wall by her hoody You: HOLY CRAP! RD: Hey hey hey! I’m not a… Nurse Redheart then holds her foreleg against Dash’s throat and points another needle in her face NR: I don’t care how many patients you try and murder, I will not deviate from this path! RD/You: What are you talking about (Scared and confused) NR: Don’t play dumb! I left that life behind, I SAVE lives now instead of taking them. I’ll never come back you hear me? RD: bu-bu-bu but…I… NR: The Shirai Ryu have no control over me, you tell Master Hanzo that! RD: I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE BUCK YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT! NR: (Smirks) Sure you don’t, maybe a few marks across your face will help you remember She raises the needle back to get more power for a thrust and Rainbow Dash is scared to the point of tears, so you do the only thing you can do. You light up your magic and hold her hoof in place, allowing Dash to headbutt her in the nose and get out of her grip. NR: Grraaaghhh (holding nose) your clan has no honor left in it at all! You: You OK Dash? RD: Yeah, but buck this, we’re getting out of here, this lady is crazy!. You: What do you…whoah, hey… She picks you up and throws you roughly into a wheel chair and throws the book in your lap. RD: We’ll finish the story once we’re safe! You: Where’s safe? RD: Somewhere not here! RD/You: MOVE BITCH, GET OUT THE WAY (as you are wheeled into the nurse, knocking her over.)
"HOOVES OFF THE PATIENT ASSASSIN!!!"
Suddenly, Nurse Snowheart dives over your bed with a flying kick which Rainbow Dash is JUST able to dodge by going under the bed and to your other side.
"Whoa!"
"Calm Down, it’s just…"
"I WILL NOT LOSE ANOTHER PATIENT TO YOU DARNED NINJAS!"
"Another?" You spout in confusion as you ponder how this exact situation has happened before.
Snowheart then whips out three syringes and throws them with expert precision, pinning Dash to the wall by her hoody.
"HOLY HORSEAPPLES!" you say in amazement.
"Hey hey hey! I’m not a…" Rainbow Dash protests, but is interrupted by Nurse Snowheart suddenly pinning her foreleg against Dash’s throat and holding another needle to her face.
"I don’t care how many patients you try and murder, I will not deviate from this path!"
"What are you talking about?" You and Rainbow Dash say in fear and confusion.
"Don’t play dumb! I left that life behind, I SAVE lives now instead of taking them. I’ll never come back you hear me?"
"bu-bu-bu but…I…"
"The Shirai Ryu have no control over me, you tell your master that!"
"I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE BUCK YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT!" Rainbow Dash yells, but Snowheart smirks and says in a threatening tone,
"Sure you don’t, maybe a few marks across your face will help you remember..."
Snowheart raises the needle for a killing blow causing Rainbow Dash to let out tears of fear, so you do the only thing you can do.
You light up your magic and throw a pizza box into Snowheart's face, allowing Dash to headbutt her in the nose and get out of her grip.
"Grraaaghhh! Your clan has no honor left in it at all!" Snowheart yells as she tries to wipe the pizza off her face.
"You OK Dash?" you ask in concern.
"Yeah, but buck this, we’re getting out of here, this lady is crazy!"
"What do you… whoa, hey!"
Rainbow Dash picks you up and throws you roughly into a wheelchair.
"We’ll finish the story once we’re safe!" She says as she throws the book on your lap.
"Where’s safe?" you ask.
"Somewhere not here!"
And with that, she grabs your wheelchair and declares,
"MOVE BI$^#, GET OUT THE WAY!" as she runs over the still-stunned Snowheart with the wheelchair.
During the hospital chase, the syringes embedded in the wall spell out "THE NIGHTMARE COMES!"
As you are wheeled down the hall, more syringes are imbedded into walls, just barely missing you NR: GET OVER HERE!!! RD/You: EEEEEEEE!!!!! (you both scream in fear) S: Oh ho ho, I like her…she knows how to have fun with those pokey things (giggles)…how come you never take me fighting anymore? We used to go fighting like…all the time… (fake pouting) You: Seriously, we’re gonna have this conversation now? S: Talking is a free action in combat situations, bwahahahaha You: How are you still sauced? S: Oh Well Exxcuuuuuussseee me Bug Boy (laughs out loud) but I’d like to see you take the equivalent of barrel full of LSD and not see the pretty pink elephants…you see the pink elephants right? OH FOR THE LOVE OF ME TELL ME YOU SEE THE PINK ELEPHANTS!!! You: OK, you’re definitely going clean after all this is over…(Syringe flies past head) if we survive that is S: Oh your no fun anymore…oooohhhh look a ramp (excited) You: Wait Wha… RD: Hang on Tennant! This is gonna be bumpy! You are heading towards a downed gurny next to the window Quacksilver jumped out You: OH BUCK ME! RD: Maybe later! Just hang on! You: Wait! What did you jus…(hits ramp and you both go screaming out the window as Selena cheers) RD/You: AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!! S: WWWWHHHHHEEEEEE!!!! And you both land on a cart of cabbages breaking your fall Salesman: MY CABBAGES! RD/You: SORRY!!! The doors to the hospital bust open and Nurse Redheart leads the charge with even more Needles, but she has a whole posse of orderlies, Doctor Horse, and some crazy Looking Mare who is barking her head off like a dog!
As you are wheeled down the hall, more syringes are embedded into walls, just barely missing you as you here Nurse Snowheart yell,
"GET OVER HERE!!!"
You and Rainbow Dash scream in terror as you speed through the hospital halls and swerving to dodge syringes zipping past you.
Oh ho ho, I like her… she knows how to have fun with those pokey things…, Nightmare Moon druggedly giggles (if you're wondering why she's not renamed yet, it's because you have much more important matters to deal with such as GETTING OUT OF THE HOSPITAL WITHOUT GETTING TURNED INTO A SYRINGE PINCUSHION!!!) How come you never take me fighting anymore? We used to go fighting like…all the time…
Seriously, we’re gonna have this conversation now? you mentally respond as Rainbow Dash swerves around a Nurse Filly.
Talking is a free action in combat situations, bwahahahaha
How are you still as high as a Griffin fired out of a cannon?
Oh Well Exxcuuuuuussseee me Bug Boy, but I’d like to see you take the equivalent of barrel full of LSD and not see the pretty pink elephants…you see the pink elephants right? OH FOR THE LOVE OF ME, TELL ME YOU SEE THE PINK ELEPHANTS ON PARADE!!!
OK... you’re definitely going clean after all this is over…
A syringe zips by just an inch from your face.
If we survive that is...
When Rainbow Dash turns a corner, you risk a quick look back and see that the syringes embedded in the wall spell out the words THE NIGHTMARE COMES. This causes you to scream in fear and anger,
"STOP FOLLOWING ME! LEAVE ME THE BUCK ALONE!"
You then see Snowheart turn the corner and yell,
"DON'T WORRY MY PATIENT! I'LL SAVE YOU AND TAKE CARE OF THAT ASSASSIN!"
You and Rainbow then scream in terror when she throws more needles.
"SHE's/I'M NOT A ASSASSIN YOU PSYCHO!" you both yell.
Oooohhhh look a ramp! Nightmare Moon says in excitement.
Wait Wha…
Sure enough, you spot a ramp ahead of you.
"Hang on Tennant! This is gonna be bumpy!" Rainbow Dash declares as she flaps her wings to gain more speed towards a downed gurney next to the window Quacksilver jumped out.
"OH BUCK ME!" you shout.
"Maybe later! Just hang on!"
"AHHHHHH-Wait! What did you jus- AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!" you scream as you and Rainbow Dash ramp off the gurney.
WWWWHHHHHEEEEEE!!!!
*crash*
And you both land on a cart of cabbages breaking your fall.
"MY CABBAGES! WHY DO I DO BUSINESS IN THIS TOWN!"
"SORRY!!!"
You notice that your casts shattered in the impact exposing your changeling form... but fortunately it's still night, everypony is distracted, and you see the Inventory attached to the wheelchair so you quickly put on your pants, longcoat, hat, and face mask, but before you could put on the scarf, the doors to the hospital bust open and Nurse Snowheart leads the charge with even more Needles! And she has a whole posse of orderlies, Doctor Horse, and some crazy Looking Mare who is barking her head off like a dog!
You stare in horror at the barking mare as you scream,
"HOLY MOTHER OF LUNA! RAINBOW SHE CALLED REINFORCEMENTS! AND I THINK ONE OF THEM HAS RABIES! RUN MARE RUN!"
Rainbow looks at the posse and screams
"HOLY BUCK! LET'S GET OUTTA HERE!"
ONE BENNY HILL CHASE LATER
You both scream your heads off as you have a merry little chase through the town Benny Hill style, waking up many ponies in the process! You both start to realize you’re not gonna get away RD: Read it! Read it Tennant! Before it’s too late!!! You: Got it! If we Die, we Die knowing the end of this tale S: HERE HERE! You levitate the book and read aloud as fast as you can whilst also being jostled around the rest of the story Long story short, Daring Do is awesome RD: Wow, SOOOO COOOL (Needle whizzes by) Eeep! Eventually you are both cornered by Twilight’s tree. Hearing all the noise, she comes bursting out of the house with a crazed look in her eye. Twilight: IS THIS IT! IS THIS THE BEGINNING OF THE DISASTER?! Pinkie: Wow Twilight, have you gotten any sleep? You: Yeah, you’re looking crazier than usual… She sees Rainbow Dash’s disguise Twilight: Ninjas?...I never even considered that a possibility! Spike! Add Ninjas to the list of EVERYTHING to monitor! Spike groans in frustration from inside the tree RD: (groans) I’m not a ninja, it’s me, Rain… Another needle skims by her nose, pinning into the door of the library NR: Nowhere left to run you assassin filth! RD: OH FOR THE LOVE OF PETE! (takes off hood) IT’S ME YOU CRAZY JERKS!!! Everyone gasps, including the Deadly 6, while you wonder who this Pete is that everyone always talks about in relation to his sake and love. Doctor Horse: Rainbow Dash, why are you kidnapping and assassinating patients? RD: I’M NOT!!! I just…just… You see her hesitating while looking at the book, so you decide to help her out and get everything out in the open You: She just wanted to read OK? Everyone gasps again RD: Dude! You: Hey, everything will be alright, just roll with it… NR: If she wanted to read, why did she take you as well? Everyone kind of wonders that, and Applejack especially has a suspicious look on her face You: Cause we were reading it together, it’s an awesome story! But then Nurse Ratchet over here started trying to hurt her so we escaped! NR: I’m not Nurse Ratchet, I’m Redheart, Ratchet is on vacation in Vanhoover You: It was just a refr…never mind…look, this is all just a big misunderstanding OK, So everyone stop being crazy! Screwloose: Bark Bark Bark!
Startled, Rainbow Dash falls onto you and you end up in a passionate kiss... Which is ended by you freaking out and shoving Dash off of you.
You and Rainbow Dash led the posse on a comedic chase around Ponyville practically waking up most of the town.
"Read it! Read it Tennant! Before it’s too late!!!" Rainbow Dash yells.
"Got it! If we Die, we Die knowing the end of this tale."
HARE HARE!
You levitate the book and read aloud as fast as you can whilst also continuing to run (Long story short, Daring Do is awesome).
"Wow, SOOOO COOOL- Eeep!" She says as she's interrupted by a needle whizzing by her head.
Eventually you're both cornered by Twilight’s tree. Hearing all the noise, she comes bursting out of the house with a crazed look in her eye as she yells,
"IS THIS IT! IS THIS THE BEGINNING OF THE DISASTER?!"
"Wow Twilight, have you gotten any sleep?" Pinkie asks.
"Yeah, you’re looking crazier than usual…" you comment.
Twilight just rapidly looks around crazed before she sees Rainbow Dash’s disguise and says,
"Ninjas?... I never even considered that a possibility! Spike! Add Ninjas to the list of EVERYTHING to monitor!"
Spike groans in frustration from inside the tree and Rainbow Dash also groans in annoyance as she says,
"I’m not a ninja, it’s me, Rain-"*twack*
Another needle zooms in and pins Rainbow to the door of the library by the shoulder of her ninja outfit.
"Nowhere left to run you assassin filth!" Snowheart declares as she brandishes more syringes.
"OH FOR THE LOVE OF PETE!" Rainbow Dash screams as she throws back her hood, "IT’S ME YOU CRAZY JERKS!!!"
Everypony gasps while you wonder who this "Pete" is that everyone always talks about in relation to his sake and love.
"Rainbow Dash, why are you kidnapping and assassinating patients?" Doctor Horse asks. All eyes are on Rainbow Dash as she stammers,
"I’M NOT!!! I just… just…"
You see her hesitating while looking at the book, so you decide to help her out and get everything out in the open,
"She just wanted to read OK?" you bluntly say.
Everyone gasps again.
"Dude!" Rainbow Dash says.
"Hey, everything will be alright, just roll with it..." you respond.
Also you were trying so hard not to look like a dork for reading that you ended up making yourself look like an even bigger dork... you mentally add.
"If she wanted to read, why did she take you as well?" Snowheart questions.
Everyone kind of wonders that, and Applejack especially has a suspicious look on her face.
"Cause we were reading it together, it’s an awesome story! But then Nurse Ratchet over here started trying to maim her so we escaped!"
"I’m not Nurse Ratchet, I’m Snowheart, Ratchet is on vacation in Vanhoover."
"It was just a refr- never mind… look, this is all just a big misunderstanding OK, So everyone stop being crazy!
You turn around to face Rainbow and are about to tell her something, when you hear... barking?
"Bark Bark Bark!"
"What the he-"
The next thing you know, you get pushed forward straight into Rainbow... and your lips accidentally press against hers!
Rainbow's eyes widen in shock, but you swear you see them half-close in happiness as the crowd gasps. You quickly blush and jump back in shockwhile Rainbow just blushes and sighs in happiness and her wings pop out and pulse... again. You blush like a mad-bug and stutter in complete shock as you look around the crowd of ponies.
Applejack has a look of horror and complete rage, Fluttershy looks... shocked and dissapointed for some reason? You see Twilight with a look of defeat as she... hoofs Rarity 40 bits, Rarity also has a smug smile on her lips, surprisingly Pinkie also looks stunned (you swear you saw her mouth, "I thought she was only into mares?"), and you also notice Aloe among the ponies in the crowd with a look of rage directed at Rainbow. You just continue to stutter as you think,
My first kiss... was with the fillyfooler! This has just got to be Lady Luck's fault, it just has to be! Okay calm down bug, you're wearing your face mask so you can worry about this later, although she does taste like hot rainbows but at a temperature that felt just rig- GAH! FOCUS BUG!!!
You finally calm down (well as calm as you usually are at least) as you turn around and stare at the barking pony who pushed you (who is looking at you like a dog looks at their owner... strange) *snap* before you turn your glowing orange eyes to the staff and say with anger,
You: And what the Tartarus is that all about? Isn’t that abuse of a patient? The doctors and orderlies all look like they’ve been caught with their hooves in the cookie jar so they quickly mutter apology’s as they leave. Except for Redheart NR: Heh, sorry about the trying to maim and scar you thing…can’t be too careful…you never know who’s watching. She then throws down a smoke bomb and disappears Rarity: oookkkaaayyy…so that just happened…so darling, you’re actually reading now? RD: yeah yeah, I’m an egghead…(said sadly) You: Hey, remember what I told you? RD: (Perks up) But you know what, Buck it! DARING DO IS AWESOME! And I don’t care who knows it…Twi…you were right Twilights eye just twitches T: So…Rainbow Dash starts reading and soon after a disaster happens…This must be related! Everyone: HUH? Twilight levitates all the Daring Do novels and dumps them on you T: There you go Dash! Read…READ THEM ALL!!! (starts laughing crazily) RD: Ummm Wow, thanks Twi…not quite what I was expecting, but yeah thanks T: Oh believe me I intend to right a full report to Celestia about this, but first I must stop the Apocalypse! She then runs back inside RD promises to read all them with you at some point, but you are all tired and head home, but not before she gives you hug that lasts a little too long and she whispers in your ear RD: Thanks for being a cool guy… You: No problem…heh heh The hug is then interrupted by a jealous AJ and then the group disperses Seeing as how you were kind of just left behind, AJ wheels you back to your shed. No way are you ever going back to that hospital. They were gonna release you tomorrow anyway. You fall into unconsciousness even as Selena sings about the Pink Elephants on Parade.
"And what the buck is that all about? Isn't that abuse of a patient?"
The doctors and orderlies all look at the barking pony and Doctor Horse says,
"Oh, that's Screwy. She's voluntary under our care and she has a habit of staying up past her bedtime. Screwy?"
As the hospital staff leave, the barking pony trots up to you and licks you like a dog before barking happily and runs back to the staff. Bugze stares at her retreating before saying
"Well... that happened."
And with that all the hospital staff and most of the crowd have departed... except for you, the Deadly 6, and Nurse Snowheart.
"Heh, sorry about the trying to destroy you syringes thing… Can’t be too careful… You never know who’s watching..."
With that, Snowheart then throws down a smoke bomb and disappears. You turn around to see Rainbow still having her wings popped out and pulsing and her smiling. You sigh and snap her out of it as Rarity says,
"Oookkkaaayyy…so that just happened… so darling, you’re actually reading now?"
"Yeah yeah, I’m an egghead…" Rainbow Dash replies sadly.
"Hey, remember what I told you?" you say causing Rainbow Dash to perk up and say,
"But you know what, Buck it! DARING DO IS AWESOME! And I don’t care who knows it… Twi… you were right."
Twilights eye just twitches as she says,
"So… Rainbow Dash starts reading and soon after a disaster happens… This must be related!"
"HUH?" Everypony else says in confusion before Twilight levitates all the Daring Do novels and dumps them on you both,
"There you go Dash! Read…READ THEM ALL!!! Bwahahahahahaha!!!"
"Ummm Wow, thanks Twi…not quite what I was expecting, but yeah thanks." Rainbow Dash replies uncertainly.
"Oh believe me I intend to right a full report to Celestia about this, but first I must stop the Apocalypse!" Twilight replies before rushing back in and slamming the door shut.
The six of you (you, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Pinkie) stand there for a few moments before Pinkie suddenly says while doing the motions,
"Eye twitch, hair flop, twitchy tail, lazy right eye, an adorable sneeze *Ah-choo!*, and a small belly ache! I gotta get to the hospital!!!"
And with that, she zips off after the posse.
Rainbow Dash promises to read all the books with you at some point, but you're all tired and head home, but not before she gives you hug that lasts a little too long and she whispers in your ear.
"Thanks for being a cool guy…"
"No problem…heh heh."
The hug is then interrupted by a jealous looking Applejack yanking you away and then the group disperses. Seeing as how you were kind of just left behind, a strangely possessive Applejack leads you back to the farm. On the way back you think,
No way am I ever going back to that hospital. Insane doctors, nurse ninjas, ponies who act like dogs, and the soup was bland! Plus as crazy as Quack... silver or whatever his name is is, he's more reliable in keeping my secret then a hospital...
When you and Applejack get back to the shack you both walk in and see Nightshade and Applebloom fast asleep while Die Hoof is playing on the projector (the building exploding scene was on). You both smile at the scene before Applejack picks up Applebloom and takes her back into the house and you tuck Nightshade into the Inventory. You then fall asleep even as Nightmare Moon sings about the Pink Elephants on Parade...
FOR THE SAKE OF CONVENIENCE, TWO DAYS LATER, FRIDAY, AT BERRY PUNCH'S BAR AT MIDNIGHT
You sigh as you walk towards the doors of the building with a bag of corn chips and some Mareolina Reaper dip in hoof. You left Nightshade at the shack so that she can sleep (poor thing's exhausted from school and practicing with Twilight... without much success on earthbending).
It's a good thing the hospital gave those pizzas to me as compensation so I wouldn't have to worry about feeding Nightshade... at least until she ate the last of it today...
You have your awesome cloak in The Inventory just in case you need to bring in the Offender. As you walk towards the doors you can't help but think,
Well... this is it. Time to stop a revolution. *breaths in* I can do this.
With that, you knock on the door and say the pass-phrase,
Just because Bugze cursed Lady Luck for no reason, I'm gonna have this happen: A bucket of water falls on your head, soaking you completely as two colts open the door, "Hahah! Another one soaked to the core!" The one on the left says "I told you everypony would fall for it!" Says the one on the right. You feel as though somepony out there is laughing at you as you mutter curses.
"Curse you lady luck."
The door opens in acknowledgment of the pass-phrase and you walk in...
*splash*
And a bucket of water placed on top of the door falls on your head causing two colts at a nearby table to laugh.
"Hahah! Another one soaked to the core!" The one on the left says
"I told you everypony would fall for it!" Says the one on the right.
"Guess I said it too early..." you mutter under your breath while mumbling curses that colts their age should never know exists.
As you are taking off the bucket, you hear a deep, threatening voice say from behind the colts,
"Boys..."
The two colts gulp in fear before they rush past you screaming,
"RUN FOR IT! BULK IS COMING!"
You stare at the clots in confusion, but just shrug your wet shoulders before you turn around... and squeak in fear. For in front of you is...
He door opens and a huge white pegasus with tiny wings looks you over with scrutiny You: Holy Luna this guy is huge! You realize you said that out loud and stammer but stop when you see him smiling BB: Thanks, I try my best. Have a seat at the bar, we’re still waiting for one of our vice presidents. You walk in and see about 10 ponies sitting on stools while Berry behind the bar. Some of them you know, like Lyra, Bon Bon, Fluttershy, Vinyl, Octavia, that pegasus that dropped the flowerpot on Twilights head, but then there are some you don’t know. One is a black pegasus stallion with a Mohawk (you’ve seen him around town), another is a stallion who you swear looks exactly like the Doctor, only he’s grey and has a bunch of clovers for a cutie mark. There’s also an older unicorn stallion with a thick mustache and Hawaiian shirt on who seems overly cheerful, and the mare with the glasses who is the Mayor’s assistant.
You stare at the mayor's assistant in confusion and can't help but think,
Why is she an elite Horde member of all ponies? Isn't she technically with the government? And the government really hates me... or loves me considering they get all the pork that results when I trash someplace. Or maybe she's disgruntled over being passed over for a raise or promotio- Wait, wasn't there a unicorn version of her that served Solar Flan- GAH! Brain Overload! Keep it simple bug... Oh well... Hey, I've got someling on the inside! Ohohooh, if I ever need to make a quick escape she's the one who can help me get information on how to get outta town.
With that thought in mind, you smile behind your scarf and face mask as you sit down next to the Aloha-shirted pony. As you do sit down, you see Fluttershy and she sees you and...
Fluttershy waves to you and smiles, but then goes back to preparing a stack of papers that you guess is her notes. You sit down at a stool next to the older unicorn stallion, and Berry puts a small glass in front of you. BP: On the house You: What is it? B: It’s Apple Cider of course You: Oh sweet You slam it back but then began hacking and choking because your throat burns, causing the mustached stallion to begin patting your back Magnum: Whoa there, easy fella, you gotta know your limits don’t ya know? You note that he’s got a thick Mineighsotan accent You: I thought I did! What kind of Cider is that? BP: I call it AppleJack, because it packs quite a kick, ha ha ha You: What’s in it?! BP: I may have mixed some Jack Spaniels into it. She smirks and holds up a bottle of booze that has a sophisticated Diamond Dog on it with a pipe and smoking jacket. You: Water! Water! BP: Ya I thought as much She gives you a pitcher and you start downing the whole thing.
waves to you and smiles, but then goes back to preparing a stack of papers that you guess is her notes. You sit down at a stool next to the older unicorn stallion,
"Did you see the sunrise this morning?" you hear the unicorn suddenly mutter into his drink (a long-neck bottle of beer that reads "Old Düsseldorf"... Sounds like a Griffin brand, but you barely remember your grandbuggy mentioning that the brand is actually brewed in Baltimare during that time he was teaching you drinking games... Long story short, there's a reason you can't stand alcohol).
Before you could ask what he meant by that, Berry puts a small glass in front of you saying,
"On the house."
"Thanks, but what is it?" you ask.
"It’s Apple Cider of course."
"Oh sweet!", You exclaim before slamming it back in one gulp, but then your throat and tongue burn and you began hacking and choking, causing the mustached stallion to begin slapping your back... hard.
"Whoa there, easy fella, you gotta know your limits don’t ya know?"
As you calm down, you note that he’s got a thick Mineighsotan accent.
"I thought I did!" you cough, "What kind of bucking Cider is that?"
"I call it AppleJack, because it packs quite a kick, ha ha ha.", Berry says as she chuckles at her own joke.
"What’s in it?!"
"I mix of hard cider and Jack Spaniels." She smirks as she holds up a bottle of booze that has a sophisticated Diamond Dog on it with a pipe and smoking jacket.
"Water! Water!" You beg.
"Ya I thought as much." Berry Punch says as she gives you a pitcher and you start chugging the whole thing as quickly as you can.
Berry just looks at you in confusion and asks,
"You know, I've seen plenty of stallions and mares up-chuck that stuff from downing it to fast, but you did it ten times worse then the others. What's the story there?"
She leans in closer to you when she asked that with a look full of curiosity. After you finish downing the water pitcher, you tell her,
"Because I can't standalcohol, I hate it and me getting drunk is not good for anypony."
Berry looks horrified as she rears back and says,
"How can you hate alcohol! Alcohol is the drink of the alicorns!"
She then grabs a nearby bottle of what looks lite rum and begins to pet it while whispering,
"It's okay, mamma's here. Mamma loves you, don't let the mean stallion offended you. Mamma loves you, yes she does, yes she does."
As you and the other stallion stare at Berry, the other stallion turns to you and says,
With her gone you strike up a conversation with the guy next to you and find out his name is Magnum and he used to be a private investigator. He also happens to be Sweetie Belle and Tacky McStabFlanks’ Dad. Apparently he joined because Sweetie was so enthused about the Offender, even though his wife doesn’t know.
"Sorry about Ms. Berry, she gets... protective whenever somepony talks bad of alcohol."
You continue to stare at Berry as she now starts to kiss the rum like a mother would kiss her daughter.
"I've noticed."
The other stallion holds out his hoof to you and says,
"The names Hondo "Magnum" Flanks, ex-private investigator of Ponyville."
You shake his hoof and say,
"Nice to meet you Magnum, my names Te-"
Magnum holds up his hoof to stop you as he says,
"I know who you are, Baker Sylvester Tennant. Even if I wasn't an ex-P.I., my daughter told me all about how 'cool' you are and how your daughter is the best friend she could have."
You chuckle in embarrassment at the compliment, and can't help but ask,
"Hehheh, thanks. And if she's friends with my daughter, then I might know her. Who is she?"
Magnum smiles as he says,
"One of my pride and joys, Sweetie Belle."
"Oh your Sweetie's father..."
You trail off as you realize what that means and blurt out,
"THAT MEANS YOU'RE TACKY MCSTABBY FLANK'S FATHER TOO!"
Some of the other elite Horde members turn towards you in surprise from your outburst (while Lyra and Bon Bon merely laugh at the mention of Rarity's nickname) before they go back to their own conversations. You sweat drop at how fast they lost interest, when you hear Magnum chuckle as he says,
"Yes, I get that reaction alot. But it's true. I'm also the father of one of the Offender's enemies. Talk about luck huh. One of my daughters is a huge fan (half the reason I joined you know), the other hates his guts and my wife doesn't know anything about it..."
You barely notice the hint of anger in his voice when he said that as you look at Magnum with sympathy as you say,
"Oh dude... that's gotta suck. A whole family divided by their views of the Offender..."
You then think guilty,
I pretty much divided whole stinking family. Another reason the Offender should have stayed dead. And another reason why I just should have left for good... Note to self: Go easy on Rarity next time I have to fight her.
Your guilty thoughts are interrupted when Magnum asks,
"Say, you told Berry that you being drunk is a bad thing, what's the deal with that?"
You sigh as you say,
"Whenever I get drunk, I go into 'drunken monster' mode. I literally lose consciousness, but my body keeps moving. One time, I got drunk once from a prank back in the town I used to live in. When I come to the next day, half the town is destroyed and I had to rebuild and find a lot of stuff. Thank Luna for WD-40, vise-grips, and duct tape."
Magnum gulps nervously as he says,
"Yikes, that's got to suck."
You nod your head morbidly and are about to say something, when you hear a voice in your head say (or rather yell),
S: Wha-WHAT?! Where are we? What’s going on? You: Nothing, just choking S: NO! WHAT IS THIS?! WEREN’T WE JUST IN A HOSPITAL? WHERE ARE WE?! You: That was two days ago, we’re at the Horde meeting now. S: WHAT?! You: Ya, don’t you remember? I got operated on, read the end of Daring Do, ran away from ninjas (said fast “kissed the filly fooler”) and then went back to the farm and worked for the next two days S: I have no recollection of these events at all…wait, what was that about a ki… You: NOTHING! S: Oookaaay…but that still doesn’t explain how I don’t remember the last 48 hours! You: Well you were pretty high at the time S: High? You: Yeah, the Quack jammed a needle into my brain injected you full of stupid happy fun time drugs. S: I WAS DRUGGED! ME?! You: Eyup, and let me just say, you are all kinds of fun when you are stoned S: GRRRRRRR You: But maybe you should lay off it from now on Selly, you were gone in la la land until yesterday when I assumed you had passed out. S: Oh if I find that doctor I am going to…wait, Selly? You: Ya, you know, since you didn’t want me calling you Nimmy anymore. S: So you chose Selly instead? How is that even better? You: Well technically it’s a nickname for the one you chose the other day S: What? I chose? You: Oh right, druggy times, well… Flash Back, The Day Before Yesterday You were reading a Batmane Comic Book after an unusually rough day of work. AJ kept glaring at you, and making you haul and carry mass amounts of loads in the wagon, and then had you plow a field, even though that was Big Red’s job. All the while you swear you kept hear her saying under her breath. AJ: Dang Stallions, you’re all the same. And AJ: I’m gonna make that no good Rainbow pay It didn’t help that Nightmare kept singing to you all day and laughing about how your cousin was jealous of your new girlfriend. But all that was behind you as you sat on your cot reading the story while Night Shade was inside the house playing a board game with Applebloom. The issue was pretty good, Batmane and Catmare had teamed together again and stopped The Joker from unleashing nerve gas into the City. As they stood together on a rooftop, Catmare tried to kiss the Bat, but he refused, and glided away leaving her looking sad. You: Dang it Batmane, don’t you know that she loves you?! Poor poor Selena… S: Awww…I feel for her. A Warrior of the night, scorned and abandoned by those she cares for and loves…I feel kinship with her for some reason. You: I know right? Stupid Bruce Mane! Selena is perfect for him. S: And her name is pretty too… I want it You: Huh? Want what? S: I want her name! Give it to me! You: Selena? Really? S: Yes! It is regal, beautiful, and dangerous, just like me! You: Well alright then, Selena. Wow, can’t believe I was almost there with the whole “Celunza” thing S: You’re still a dork for that (giggles) but yes! I shall now be the Catmare to your Batmane! You: Umm…you know that means there’d be like a weird love/hate relationship and a lot of sexual tension between us if you use that analogy S: Oh I know that my squishy little bug…I definitely know that (seductively) Suddenly you get a flash of her wearing Catmane’s costume with her whip out and blood shoots out your nose You:(Blush) OKAY! I’m aborting this conversation! I’m Reading, just reading! S: (giggles) Present You: Then you started singing about how “Everything is Awesome” S: I am definitely never doing drugs again (blushing) but…that name…Selena…I chose it? You: Ya, do you like it or should we go back to Nimmy? S: I…that name…Mine? My own? (confused/awed) You: You alright? S: …I am. Just…give me some time to think over things And with that she stops talking
Wha-WHAT?! Where are we? What’s going on?
Just choking on alcohol while chatting with a member of a family I tore apart with my very existence.... you mentally reply sarcastically.
NO! WHAT IS THIS?! WEREN'T WE JUST IN A HOSPITAL BEING BUTCHERED BY A QUACK!? WHERE ARE WE?! she demands in a panic.
That was two days ago, we’re at the Horde meeting now.
WHAT?!
Yeah, don’t you remember? I got operated on, read the end of Daring Do, ran away from ninjas, kissedthefillyfooler, and then went back to the farm and worked for the next two days while Nightshade went to school.
I have no recollection of these events at all…wait, what was that about a ki-
NOTHING!
Oookaaay… but that still doesn't explain how I don’t remember the last 48 hours!
Well, you were pretty high at the time.
High?
Yeah, the Quack jammed a needle into my brain and injected you full of stupid happy fun time drugs.
I WAS DRUGGED! ME?! THE TRUE GODDESS OF THE NIGHT?!!
Eyup, and let me just say, you are all kinds of fun when you are stoned... you mentally tease.
GRRRRRRR
But maybe you should lay off it from now on Selly, you were gone in la la land until yesterday when I assumed you'd passed out.
If I find that 'doctor' I am going to- wait, Selly?
Ya, you know, since you didn't want me calling you Nimmy anymore.
So you chose Selly instead? How is that even better you imbecile?
Well technically it’s a shortened nickname for the name you chose the other day.
What? I chose?
Oh right, druggy times, well…
FLASHBACK, THE DAY BEFORE YESTERDAY
You were reading a Batmane Comic Book after an unusually rough day of work. Applejack kept glaring at you the whole time as she made you haul and carry heavy loads in the wagon and then had you plow a field... even though that was Big Red’s job! All the while you swear you kept hear her saying under her breath,
"Bucking Stallions, you’re all the same." And "I’m gonna make that no good Rainbow pay..."
It didn't help that Nightmare kept singing to you all day and laughing about how your cousin was jealous of your new marefriend, but all that was behind you as you sat on your cot reading the story while Nightshade was inside the house playing a board game with the rest of the Cutie Mark Crusaders after they came back from school.
The issue was pretty good, Batmane and Catmare had teamed together again and stopped The Joking from unleashing nerve gas into the City. As they stood together on a rooftop, Catmare tried to kiss the Bat, but he refused, and glided away leaving her looking sad.
"Dang it Batmane, don’t you know that she loves you?! Poor poor Selena…" you mutter out loud.
Awww…I feel for her. A Warrior of the night, scorned and abandoned by those she cares for and loves… I feel kinship with her for some reason... Nightmare Moon says in a still slightly drugged tone.
"I know right? Stupid Bruce Mane! Selena is perfect for him."
And her name is pretty too… I want it.
"Huh? Want what?"
I want her name! Yield it to me!
"Selena? Really?" you ask in doubtful surprise.
Yes! It is regal, beautiful, and dangerous, just like me!
"Well alright then... Selena it is. Wow, can’t believe I was almost there with the whole “Celunza” thing."
You’re still a dork for that. She giggles, But yes! I shall now be the Catmare to your Batmane!
"Umm… you know that means there’d be like a weird love/hate relationship and a lot of sexual tension between us if you use that analogy..."
Oh I know that my squishy little bug…I definitely know that... Selena says seductively.
*spurt*
Suddenly you get a flash of her wearing Catmane’s tight form-hugging leather costume with her whip out and blood shoots out your nose.
"OKAY! I’m aborting this conversation! I’m Reading, just reading!"
You then see Vinyl putting away a stereo as she says,
"Sorry dude, but you blanked out and we couldn't get your attention so..."
"If you think that's bad, try being her roommate." Octavia sarcastically comments.
Vinyl even gets in a conversation with you and compliments you on scoring with Rainbow Dash You try to tell her nothing happened Vinyl: Sure sure, whatever you say player (winks)
"Where's Magnum?" you ask.
"Oh, dude had to leave when he remembered it was his daughter's play or something." Vinyl nonchalantly replies.
"Oh."
"Anyway... Nice job scoring with Rainbow Dash, although I bet you've had alot of experience with that..." Vinyl says in a teasing tone.
You blush in a fluster and claim,
"Wh-What! Nothing happened! I was wearing my facemask so it doesn't count!"
"Sure sure, whatever you say player." Vinyl says with a wink before going back to the others.
You just sigh in defeat before you turn around to talk to Lyra and ask her,
Also you talk to Lyra and ask her about the whole Doctor Ninja thing, but all she says is Lyra: Spoilers
"So... What was up with that whole Doctor Ninja thing a few nights ago?"
"Spoilers..." Lyra responds.
Before you can scream out your frustration that the word 'Spoilers' exists, the door burst open and you see...
Eventually Spike walks through the door Spike: Sorry I’m late everypony, Twilight’s still acting nuts and hasn’t slept for a few days, so it was kind of hard to slip out unnoticed. Fluttershy: That’s OK Spike. Now, let’s all get this started. Berry? Berry Punch nods and leads everyone to the back room which is full of barrels, towards a cellar door, and you talk to Spike You: So if Crazlight is still nuts, how exactly has she been teaching my daughter? Spike: She hasn’t You: What? Then what’s Nightshade been doing? Spike: Oh me and her have been hanging out. Going to the arcade, watching movies, eating ice cream, you know, stuff like that… You: (Snap) So you’ve been hanging out with my daughter…alone…and you’re a guy…a guy alone with my daughter? Spike: Heh heh…ummm…LOOK A DISTRACTION! You quickly look behind you as he runs to the head of the line. You: Dang it, fell for my own trick! I-Wait! What’s this? You see a glass bottle with a snowflake on it, and this causes your gloves to vibrate. You pick it up and see it says “Ryan Industries” on it. You have found the Freeze plasmid!
Spike walking through the door.
"Sorry I’m late everypony, Twilight’s still acting nuts and hasn't slept for a few days, so it was kind of hard to slip out unnoticed." he says.
"That’s OK Spike. Now, let’s all get this started. Berry?" Fluttershy responds.
Berry Punch nods and declares,
"Last call, everypony! Keep an eye on them Bulk!"
Bulk nods as Berry leads the group through a door to a back room which is full of barrels, towards a cellar door as you talk to Spike and ask him.
"So if Crazlight is still nuts, how exactly has she been teaching my daughter?"
"She hasn't."
"What? Then what’s Nightshade been doing?" you demand in concern.
"Oh me and her have been hanging out. Going to the arcade, watching movies, eating ice cream, you know, stuff like that…"
"So you've been hanging out with my daughter… alone… and you’re a guy…" *snap* "A GUY ALONE WITH MY DAUGHTER?!"
"Heh heh… ummm… LOOK A DISTRACTION!" he yells as he points behind you.
You quickly look behind you as he runs to the head of the line. You look back to see him gone and exclaim,
"Dang it, fell for my own trick! I-Wait! What’s this?"
You see a glass bottle with a snowflake on it on the ground and which causes your glove to vibrate from within the Inventory. You stcik one hoof into the Inventory and put it on as you pick up the bottle with your other hoof and see it says “Ryan Industries” on it.
You have found the Freeze plasmid! A random voice only you can hear says as you throw the bottle back and forth in your hooves before Berry asks in confusion,
"What is that? I've never seen that kind of drink in here, and this is my bar!"
You smile under your face mask and scarf as you say,
"This, my dear, is just something awesome."
And with that you pull your scarf and face mask off at a angle that Berry can't see and you down the contents of the liquid. You lick your lips as you say,
Berry looks at you in horror as you drop the empty bottle which it shatters on the ground on impact. You breath starts to quicken as the temperature decreases all around you. Your breath becomes visible and you begin to shake uncontrollably. You stare at your gloved hoof as ice starts to cover it completely and you feel like your frozen solid. Berry tries to run towards you, but the ground around you gets frozen in ice before she can even reach you. She looks at you and screams in fear,
"TENNANT!"
And then... it stops.
You breath deeply as the temperature returns to normal and the ice on your glove and the ground evaporate. You stop shaking and calm down as Berry runs over to you and says with worry,
"Tennant! Are you alright? What was that!?"
You smile as you say,
"Don't worry, I'm fine. That was just a new... power to my arsenal."
You put the glove away as you continue,
"Now we should probably check on the others... Where they go?"
You look around in shock to see that everyling is gone! Berry rubs her head sheepishly as she says,
"Sorry, but they kinda went ahead without you. And since I'm staying behind, they probably thought you were still with them."
You look at her in confusion and ask,
"Why are you staying behind?"
Berry quickly glances around before saying...
The mare glances around to make sure that no one is watching, then directs you to a door in the back. "I have to stay out here and run the bar like normal," she says. "Head down the stairs and take the last door on the right." You nod and head towards the door in the back. You go down the flight of stairs to the basement, and trot down the hall to take the last door on the right. You walk inside to see... a broom closet. "While that can't be right," you say to yourself. You search around to see if there are any hidden passages or anything, but nothing's there. You head back. "While, I guess I'll ask Berry abou- HOLY MOTHER OF LUNA!" Outside the door is no longer a basement, but a candlelit meeting room. Fluttershy, Spike, Octavia, Vinyl, Lyra, and Bon Bon are seated around the table in the center. You take the empty chair as you assume its meant for you. "Surprised?" Lyra asked. "It was a complicated spell, setting up a teleportation conduit from this room to Berry's bar, but it was worth it!" A large plate of cookies is placed in the center of the table. You snag a couple, and tuck a few into your Inventory for Nightshade. * 5 Chocolate Chip Cookies obtained Once you sit down, Fluttershy begins, speaking very officially. You're somewhat surprised. "This emergency meeting of the Ponyville Faction of the Horde will now begin," she says. "We will begin with the formal opening. Everypony, the creed?" You and the Horde members chant together (you read off a plaque on the side of the wall). "The blackest night falls from the skies, The darkness grows, as all light dies, And heal the deepest wounds of hate, Let no one else decide your fate, Let those who fear where we once stood, Beware the power... of our hood!"
"I have to stay out here and run the bar like normal."
She then points to a door in the back and says,
"Head down the stairs and take the last door on the right."
You nod and head towards the door in the back. You go down the flight of stairs to the basement and trot down the hall to take the last door on the right. You walk inside to see... a broom closet.
"Well, that can't be right," you say to yourself as you look around to see if there are any hidden passages or anything, but nothing's there. You head back.
"Well, I guess I'll ask Berry abou- HOLY MOTHER OF LUNA!"
Outside the door is no longer a basement, but a candlelit meeting room. the ponies (and dragon) are seated around the table in the center. You take the empty chair next to Fluttershy as you assume its meant for you.
"Surprised?" Lyra asked. "It was a complicated spell, setting up a teleportation conduit from this room to Berry's bar, but it was worth it!"
You just nod as you notice a large plate of cookies is placed in the center of the table. You snag a couple and tuck a few into your Inventory for Nightshade.
"5 Chocolate Chip Cookies" added to the Inventory
Once you sit down, Fluttershy begins, speaking very officially (you're somewhat surprised) as she says,
"Spike, roll call."
Spike nods and pulls out a scroll before listing off,
"Fluttershy?"
"Here."
"Spike. Well I'm obviously here, Octavia Melody?"
"Present."
"Vinyl Scratch?"
"I'm here dude."
"Hondo Flanks?"
There is no response causing the Horde to look around in confusion.
"Magnum?" Spike repeats.
"He had to leave for family reasons or something." Vinyl answers.
"Okay..." Spike says as he scribbles something on the list and continues.
"Lyra Heartstrings?"
"Here!"
"Sweetie Drops?"
"Here." Bon Bon replies at her real name.
"Raven?"
"Accounted for." the mare with the glasses says.
"Thunderlane?"
"Here." the black pegasus with a Mohawk says.
"Sunshower Raindrops?"
"Here." the pegasus who dropped that potted plant on Crazelight's head says.
"Baker Sylvester Tennant?"
No response.
"B.S.?"
Everypony (including you) look around before Fluttershy gently nudges you and whispers,
"Um... That's you."
"Huh?" you reply oblviiously before you catch on and blurt out, "I mean here! Here! Sooooo very much here! heheh."
Everypony looks at you strangely as you chuckle nervously before Fluttershy quickly gets their attention by officially saying,
"We will begin with the formal opening. Everypony, the creed?"
You and the Horde members rise out of your chairs and chant together (you read off a plaque on the side of the wall).
"The blackest night falls from the skies, The darkness grows, as all light dies, And heal the deepest wounds of hate, Let no one else decide your fate, Let those who fear where we once stood, Beware the power... of our hood!"
You all sit back down before Fluttershy says,
"This emergency meeting of the Ponyville Faction of the Horde will now begin..."
F: Good Evening Everypony of the Elite Members, hope you’re all doing well. They all nod F: Good Good…anyway umm…on the topic of discussion for tonight…I mean, I called you here because…b-b-because… She looks at you and you smile back at her. She then has newfound confidence F: Because I’ve recently spoken with Hoody Everyone Gasps Octavia: Is he alright?! Where’s he hiding? Is he happy with us? F: Yes he’s fine and healthy, I garuntee it, but I promised I wouldn’t tell where he was hiding. Lyra: Oh come on F: I pinkie promised Everyone just shivers in dread Lyra: Oh, Ok then. F: And yes, he is happy and appreciates that we have grown as an organization…kind of Vinyl: What’s that mean? F: Well…I don’t know if anyone is aware, but…there have been recent talks of…revolution by horde members Everyone Gasps again Bon Bon: Revolution? As in…war? F: y-yes…and he knows it and isn’t happy Magnum: Who’s been spreading unrest like that? F: I don’t know, that’s why I called this meeting…is anypony in Ponyville trying to incite revolution? Everyone answers in outrage with no. F: Oh thank goodness…I’m glad. Hoody really doesn’t want a war to be fought in his name. Thunderlane: But, he knows we aren’t talking about starting a war right? I mean, I thought this was just a fan club! O: Yes, surely he knows we would do no such thing, it goes against his message… You: You got that right Tavi F: Oh I’m sure he knows Ponyville isn’t…but unfortunately, others are Mayor’s assistant: Who? Who’s doing this? Lyra: How do you know for sure? F: I wrote to every branch asking them nicely to not do anything violent, and even told them Hoody spoke to me… You/Everyone: Yes? F: Well, most of them wrote back like Cloudsdale, Canterlot, and Fillydelphia saying they had no such thoughts… You/Everyone: But? F: The Manehatten leader, Flag Burner, wrote a very mean letter back…it said…it…(tears well in her eyes) Spike: It basically said that we were stupid for not joining the cause, and that we were weak for not heeding his true message of a “New Equestria” Everyone: What?! Spike: He then ranted and wrote mean things about Fluttershy, that I will not repeat You: That bastard F: He said I was lying about The Offender telling everypony to stand down…said I was just a mouthpiece of the Tyrant since I’m an Element Bearer She starts crying and everyone gathers around Fluttershy hugging her F: The worst part is, he said he wouldn’t stand down. O: Oh no Lyra: This is terrible V: Dude, this is so not cool! You: Well we gotta do something! We gotta make this nutjob stop before innocent lives are harmed. S: That’s the kicker…he said nothing would stop him, save for the One True Offender. Only Hoody can make him change his mind. Then he wrote that this Sunday would show the true power of the horde in Manehatten O: Then we must contact the Offender. He has to get to Manehatten before that monster does something Everyone/Bulk: YEAH! V: And he won’t even go alone, we can all follow him and stop these yahoos from hurting anypony. Everyone: Yeah! Bon Bon: If he calls on us, we’ll answer Lyra: Ya, Buck Manehatten! Everyone starts agreeing while you contemplate to yourself.
"So good evening everypony of the elite members, hope you’re all doing well."
They all nod.
"Good, good… anyway umm… on the topic of discussion for tonight… I mean, I called you here because… b-b-because…"
She starts to stammer nervously and she looks at you, but you give her a reassuring smile (at least you think you are because you've wearing a scarf and face mask) back at her. With new-found confidence she continues,
"Because I've recently spoken with Hoody."
Everyone gasps at this news and Octavia demands,
"Is he alright?! Where’s he hiding? Is he pleased with us?"
"Yes he’s fine and healthy, I guarantee it, but I promised I wouldn't tell where he was hidin-"
"Oh come on!' Lyra exclaims in annoyance.
"I... pinkie promised." Fluttershy says.
Everyone just shivers in dread before Lyra retracts,
"Oh, Okay then."
"And yes, he is happy and appreciates that we have grown as an organization… kind of." Fluttershy says.
"What’s that mean?" Vinyl asks.
"Well… I don’t know if anyone is aware, but… there have been recent talk of… revolution by horde members..."
Everyone gasps again.
"Revolution? As in… war?" Bon Bon says nervously.
"Y-yes… and he knows it and isn't happy..."
"Who’s been spreading unrest like that?" Sunshower asks,
"I don’t know, that’s why I called this meeting… is anypony in Ponyville trying to incite revolution?"
"NO!" everypony answers with unanimous outrage which scares Fluttershy before she regains composure and says,
"Oh thank goodness… I’m glad. Hoody really doesn't want a war to be fought in his name."
"But, he knows we aren't talking about starting a war right? I mean, I thought this was just a fan club!" Thunderlane says.
"Yes, surely he knows we would never do such thing, it goes against his message…" Octavia adds.
"Got that right Tavi." You and Vinyl coincidentally say at the same time causing you two to look at each other strangely.
"Oh I’m sure he knows Ponyville isn't… but unfortunately, others are..."
"Who? Who’s doing this?" Raven asks.
"How do you know for sure?" Lyra adds.
"I wrote to every branch asking them nicely to not do anything violent, and even told them Hoody spoke to me…"
"Yes?" Everypony says in anticipation.
"Well, most of them wrote back like Cloudsdale, Canterlot, and Manehattan saying they had no such thoughts…"
"But?" everypony asks.
"The Fillydelphia leader, Flag Burner, wrote a very mean letter back… it said… it…"
Tears start to well in her eyes so Spike quickly takes over,
"It basically said that we were stupid for not joining the cause, and that we were weak for not heeding his true message of a “New Equestria”."
"What?!" Everypony (except Fluttershy and Spike) exclaim in shock.
"He then ranted and wrote mean things about Fluttershy, that I will not repeat..."
*snap*That motherbucker... you think angrily before Fluttershy says with teary eyes,
"He said I was lying about The Offender telling everypony to stand down… said I was just a mouthpiece of the Solar Tyrant since I’m an Element Bearer..."
She then starts crying and everyone gathers around Fluttershy hugging her (especially you). She then manages to say,
"The worst part is, he said he wouldn't stand down."
"Oh no." Sunshower says.
"This is terrible!" Bon Bon adds
"Dude, this is so not cool!" Vinyl adds.
"Well we gotta do something! We gotta make this nutjob stop before innocent lives are harmed!" you exclaim
"That’s the kicker…" Spike says, "He said nothing would stop him, save for the One True Offender. Only Hoody can make him change his mind. Then he wrote that soon he would unleash the true divine power of the horde in Fillydelphia."
"Then we must contact the Offender! He has to get to Fillydelphia before that monster does something!" Octavia says,
"YEAH!" everypony proclaims.
"And he won’t even go alone, we can all follow him and stop these yahoos from hurting anypony!" Vinyl adds.
"YEAH!"
"If he calls on us, we’ll answer!" Bon Bon proclaims.
"Yeah, Buck Fillydelphia!" Lyra exclaims.
Just as everybody starts to agree, you hear Octavia say,
"But..."
You look over to her in dread as you think,
Oh no... Lady luck don't you dare. Don't you bucking dare!
"What's the matter with it," Octavia asks. "After Discord's nasty trick, the Horde has been driven into hiding and the Offender is missing. If those idiots in charge are fooled by such a silly spell as that, then we have to show them that they're wrong, don't we?"
"I don't see anything completely wrong with the idea of a revolution..." Octavia asks. "After Discord's nasty trick, the Horde has been driven into hiding and the Offender is missing. If those fools in charge are fooled by such a silly spell as that, then we have to show them that they're wrong, don't we?"
Your jaw drops at what Octavia just said as you think,
Holy mother of Luna... lady luck dared... GOT TO STOP IT! GOT TO STOP IT!
"But is rebelling really the way to do it?" You respond. "All it'll do is incite a lot of violence and government hatred, and if it becomes a full scale revolution a lot of ponies may die." "I think we could keep it in control," Bon Bon voices. "We could make sure it doesn't turn violent. It's all just propaganda, isn't it?" "But it would put you all in danger." You argue. "It'll put every member of the Horde in danger, and is that really what we want?" "We're all ready in enough danger as it is," Lyra points out. "Any member of the Horde is a criminal already, its not like it would be that much more dangerous." "Look, guys," you say. "What about the Offender himself. Is this really what he wants? To have a bloody revolution waged in his name?" "Maybe it is," Octavia cries. "Maybe he wants the world to know he's a hero, not the villain they see him as. It would do them some good, wouldn't it?" "Come on," you say. "Vinyl?" She sighs. "I'm not all for this big rebellion idea, but it beats just sitting around, doing nothing." "Fluttershy?" you ask desperately, but she seems to have shrunk back from the debate, shivering a little as Octavia raises her voice. "I say that its high time we quit lying in the shadows!" she rallies. "We should get out there and show the world that we're right, and that the offender is a hero!" Lyra and Bon Bon cheer for this idea while Vinyl looks conflicted. You realize that there's only one thing to do, one thing that will convince them.
"B-But is rebelling really the way to do it?" You respond. "All it'll do is incite a lot of violence and government hatred, and if it becomes a full scale revolution a lot of ponies may die!"
"I think we could keep it in control," Bon Bon voices. "We could make sure it doesn't turn violent. It's all just propaganda, isn't it?"
"But it would put you all in danger." You argue. "It'll put every member of the Horde in danger, and is that really what we want?"
"We're all ready in enough danger as it is," Lyra points out. "Any member of the Horde is a criminal already, it's not like it would be that much more dangerous."
"Look, guys," you try to reason, "What about the Offender himself. Is this really what he wants? To have a bloody revolution waged in his name?"
"Maybe it is!" Octavia cries. "Maybe he actually wants the world to know he's a hero, not the villain they see him as. It would do them some good, wouldn't it?"
"Come on," you say. "Vinyl?"
She sighs,
"I'm not all for this big rebellion idea, but it beats just sitting around, doing nothing and I'm not abandoning Tavi."
"Fluttershy?" you ask desperately, but she seems to have shrunk back from the debate, shivering as Octavia raises her voice,
"I say that its high time we quit lying in the shadows!" she rallies. "We should get out there and show the world that we're right, and that the offender is a hero!"
Some cheer for this idea while others look conflicted. You realize that there's only one thing you can do that will convince them...
"Excuse me for a moment. Need to use the little colt's room," you say, standing up to leave. You walk out of the meeting room and into the closet, where you extract your awesome coat. For the first time in about a month, you don the hooded cloak. Once again you are- The Hooded Offender!
"Excuse me for a moment. Need to use the little colt's room." You say before walking out of the meeting room and into the closet before anypony can say or do anything. You extract your awesome coat and start to don the hooded cloak for the first time in a long time.
These ponies went from reasonable to bucking crazy! Do they know how many innocent lives will be lost if they go though with this! Is Discord's chaos magic still around cause that would explain a bucking lot! Millions of ponies and other creatures, all dead... because of me...
You sigh in sadness as you put your hood up. Once again you are-
The Hooded Offender!
Peeping out of the closet, you see the meeting is continuing. Everypony is talking, a bit loudly, and it seems to be a rather lively discussion. Normally, you'd just walk out there and say hi. But... something about your outfit makes you feel a little more... dramatic. You link through the shadows, the black of your cloak blending into the dark corners out of reach of the candles. You choose to listen in on the current conversation. "I'm telling you, he's got to be a spy," Octavia says. "He just shows up suddenly one day and immediately tries to get close to the Horde, to get in on our meetings." "I really don't think-" Fluttershy whispers, but Octavia cuts her off. "He's a powerful fighter. Why? Because he's been trained. He has the stamina to spend days in the fields bucking apples because he's been trained by the government." "Or maybe he's just from Appleoosa?" Vinyl offers, sarcastically. "Then why doesn't he have an accent?" Lyra returns. "And why did he try to incriminate one of the elements of harmony? Simple- he needed a distraction." "And you have to admit, isn't it suspicious that he left just as we were starting to talk about rebelling. I bet he's going to contact his employer right now!" "Close guess," you interrupt, stepping into the light. "But he was actually contacting me." The Horde stares in shock as you teleport into your empty seat. You snatch a cookie and take a bite out of it as you wait for your fans to recover. "Where's Tennent?" Vinyl asks once she gets over the shock of seeing you. "Doing surveillance by the door," you answer. "We have surveillance," Lyra says. "Might not be enough," you reply. "As I was forced to come here personally, we've got to be air-tight secure. I trust Baker to keep any outsiders away." "What's your relationship with Tennant?" Vinyl asks. "And how do we know you're actually the real Offender?" You sigh. "The first time we met, Vinyl Scratch, you offered a threesome with me, you, and Octavia," you answer, blushing at the memory. Fluttershy looks somewhat horrified, Spike looks somewhat confused, and Vinyl and Octavia blush. "There, we've got that out of the way?" you ask. "Perfect. Now, as some of you have guessed, Tennant is not an Appleoosan member of the Horde. I'd say which faction he's really from, but if he hasn't told you all yet, he'd like to keep it to himself. Anyways, I got in touch with him so that I could have an inside man in my following, to learn what I could about how it was operating and warn me should it go too far." "Why not just go to the leaders of each faction yourself?" Bon Bon asks. "How do you expect me to find and meet the leader of each faction while I'm Equestria's most wanted?" You argue. "It was dangerous enough coming here." This seems to silence the opposition for the time, so you go into your main speech. "I want you all to know that I do not approve of this rebellion," you say. "I know that it won't end well, that it will just end up getting a lot of ponies hurt or worse. The government as of now is far too strong to oppose so directly, and its much to dangerous." "Well then... what do you want us to do?" Octavia asks. You smile beneath your hood. "I want you to spread the word," you say. "I don't want isolated patches, I want you all to work to join forces with the other factions, to form a network, a web of the Horde that spreads out all across Equestria. I want you to stop shouting separately, to get organized and coordinate your protests. I have a plan, and if it going to work I'll need info from all across the nation." You're not quite sure what leads you to say this. It just seems useful to be able to keep your fans under control if they're all together. Besides, the idea of a plan on your part seems to excite the group. "Just send all progress reports to Tennent. He'll relay them to me," you say as you grab one last cookie and teleport from your seat to the door. "Meeting adjourned," you say as you leave.
Peeping out of the closet, you see the meeting is continuing. Everypony is talking loudly and it seems to be a rather lively discussion. Normally, you'd just walk out there and say 'Hello'... but something about your outfit makes you feel a little more... dramatic.
You sneak through the shadows, the black of your cloak blending into the dark corners out of reach of the candles. You choose to listen in on the current conversation.
"I'm telling you, he's got to be a spy," Octavia says. "He just shows up suddenly one day and immediately tries to get close to the Horde to get in on our meetings!"
"I really don't think-" Fluttershy whispers, but Octavia cuts her off.
"He's a good fighter with the stamina to spend days in the fields bucking apples. Why? Because he's had professional training!"
"Or maybe he's just from Appleloosa?" Vinyl sarcastically offers.
"Then why doesn't he have an accent?" Lyra counters. "And why did he try to incriminate one of the elements of harmony? Simple- he needed a distraction!"
"And you have to admit, isn't it suspicious that he left just as we were starting to talk about rebelling? Not to mention that he didn't even reply to his own name right away." Raven observes.
"I bet he's going to contact his employer right now!" Octavia exclaims.
"You're absolutely right, in a manner of speaking..." you interrupt in your 'villain voice', stepping into the light. "He was actually contacting me..."
The Horde stares in shock as you teleport into "Mr. Tennant's" empty seat.
THANK LUNA that stinking teleport went right for once. you think as you snatch a cookie and kick your hooves up on the table before taking a bite out of it while, waiting for your fans to recover,
"Where's Tennent?" Vinyl asks once she gets over the shock of seeing you.
"Doing surveillance by the door," you answer.
"We have surveillance-" Lyra says.
"Might not be enough," you reply. "As I was forced to come here personally, we've got to be air-tight secure. I trust Baker to keep any outsiders away."
"What's your relationship with Tennant?" Vinyl asks. "And how do we know you're actually the real Offender?"
You sigh and answer while blushing under your faceless hood,
"The first time we met, Vinyl "DJ Pon-3" Scratch, you offered a threesome with me, you, and Octavia."
Fluttershy looks somewhat horrified, Spike looks somewhat confused, and Vinyl and Octavia blush.
"There, we've got that out of the way?" you ask.
When nopony says anything you continue,
"Perfect. Now, as some of you have guessed, Tennant is not an Appleloosan member of the Horde. If anything, I don't even know if there is an Appleloosan branch of the Horde. I'd say which faction he's really from, but if he hasn't told you all yet then I'll allow him the privilege of privacy. Anyways, he's a... specialist I got in touch with so that I could have an inside stallion in my following, to learn what I could about how it was operating and warn me should it go too far."
I sound SO bucking awesome right now... you mentally squee as you take another bite of the cookie before Bon Bon asks,
"Why not just go to the leaders of each faction yourself?"
"How do you expect me to find and meet the leader of each faction while I'm Equestria's Most Wanted?" You argue. "It was dangerous enough coming here."
This seems to silence the opposition for the time, so you go into your main speech,
"I want you all to know that I do not approve of this rebellion. I know that it won't end well, that it will just end up getting a lot of ponies hurt or worse. The government as of now is far too strong to oppose so directly, and it's much too dangerous. But to put it in simple terms even the dullest bug can understand..."
You quickly wink at Fluttershy (who obviously can't see your wink, but noticed how your head bobbed towards her a bit) who winks back and covers her ears.
*Snap*
You bolt upright from your chair and slam your hooves onto the table as you activate the Royal Canterlot Voice and roar,
"ARE YOU ALL OUT OF YOUR BUCKING MINDS! YOU'VE COULD HAVE KILLED THOUSANDS IF NOT MILLIONS WITH THIS STUPID IDEA! FOALS, MOTHERS, FATHERS, GRANDMOTHERS! ALL DEAD CAUSE YOU ALL THOUGHT YOU SHOULD JOIN FLAG BURNER'S STUPID CAUSE! WE ARE NOT DOING THAT, UNDERSTAND! I'M GOING TO FILLYDELPHIA AND I'M GONNA PERSONALLY BEAT SOME SENSE INTO THAT DUMBFLANK BEFORE HE CAN CAUSE ANYTHING! Are. We! CLEAR?!!!"
Everypony nods in fear and shock are your outburst, but Octavia steps forward and asks,
"Well then... what do you want us to do?"
Calming down, you reply to her in your villein voice,
"Continue your lives as normal, don't draw unnecessary attention to yourselves or the Horde, and let me deal with this matter." you say as you grab one last cookie and pop it into your mouth.
"Meeting adjourned." you say with a flourish of your coat as you turn to leave...
Time to invoke Chandler's Law... When in doubt, have a man come through a door with a gun in his hand Suddenly there's a flash of light and the meeting is Raided by Crazilight followed by Applejack, Rainbow Dask, and Pinkie Pie (and maybe Rarity too)! Twilight now thinks the future disaster is "Hooded Offender"-related
"How did you know about this reunion?" Asked Berry Punch "Like I said, a worried pony that wants to be anonymous, reported all of you" Say the Day Guard as he take a note with the list of everyone present "So... There is a spy here..." Say Octavia, and then they gasped and looked around
*ka-boom*
When suddenly the wall explodes! When the rubble and smoke clear, you see the Deadly Five glaring at you... well some of them are anyway. Rarity and Twilight (who now has an eyepatch and is twitching like mad) are the ones glaring at you while Pinkie is just looking around the secret room excitedly while mumbling something about a 'cool secret party she could host down here' and Applejack and Rainbow are glaring... but they're glaring at each other and not at you. You stare at them in confusion and can't help but think,
What's up with the fillyfoolers? They run into some relationship problems or something?
Deciding to worry about that later (and to make sure they focus on you and not the Horde members), you ask Twilight with your villain voice,
"Pray tell, what the buck are you doing here, Sparkle?"
Twilight laughs with a little bit of insanity before saying,
"I'm here to stop the upcoming disaster, which is you!" She points an accusing/defiant hoof at you as she continues, "You're hear in Ponyville to put the whole town under your mind control spell, and I'm here to stop it!"
Your eye twitch's in annoyance as you angrily think,
You bucking Hippocratic, you did the same thing! And for the last bucking time I AM NOT USING MIND CONTROL!
You sigh in annoyance to prevent your mental anger from spilling out before asking,
"How did you even know we were having this meeting, or were this secret room was in the first place!"
Crazlight looks around suspiciously before saying,
"Uhhhh... I have a spy... in the Horde... ya that's it!"
You stare at her and then think,
That... that was the worst lie I ever heard in the history of lies. Who would be dumb enough to believe th-
"So... we do have a spy here."
You look over to Octavia in surprise and think,
Octavia... why?!?!
You begin to panic slightly as the tension in the room increases and everyling looks like their gonna jump each other (besides Fluttershy who's hiding behind you in fear) and you can't help but think,
Oh buck, oh buck, oh buck, oh buck, OH BUCK, OH BUCK, OH BUCK WHAT THE BUCK DO I DO! CURSE YOU LADY L- Wait, I already said that...
What do you do?
Episode 46: ORDER! I WILL HAVE ORDER AT THIS MEETING!
Silence. Not one word was uttered as each group glared at one another. You can feel the tension rise as each second pass. Its so thick you could cut it like swiss cheese and you don't really like cheese that much (not since the cheese disaster caused by you and grand buggy, but that is a story tor another time). You decide to break the tension by speaking up.
As the Deadly Five and the Horde glared at each other and themselves, you can just feel the tension in the air thicken as each second passes. It's so thick you could cut it like a giant cheese wheel (and you've never exactly been a cheese connoisseur, not since the cheese disaster caused by you and grandbuggy, but that is a story tor another time). You decide to break the tension with a cunning bluff...
You quickly reach into the Inventory and whip out The Doctor's Notebook and flamboyantly wrote a name into it as dramatic fux-chanting music plays and little sparks follow each penstroke in a display which grabs everypony's attention. After this display, you glanced back at Fluttershy and Spike and winked at them (they obviously didn't see the wink but they recognized the head motion) before opening the notebook to show a name written in it,
Baker Sylvester Tennant
"Congratulations, you know how to wri-" Rainbow Dash snarks, but you interrupt by declaring,
"This is my Death Notebook! There are few like it, but this is mine!" and you chuckle evilly as they watch the name disappear before continuing, "In under a minute, somepony is going to be... gone."
At that, Rainbow and Applejack were oddly confused, but Twilight gasps in horror,
"N-No! I thought they were only a foal's tale adapted into a Neighponese serial!"
You cackle,
"Nightmare Moon was a fairy tale, and look what happened! You'd believe that I'd perform mind control, but you can't believe that I have an actual Death Notebook?"
"Twi', what's the varmint talkin' about?" asked Applejack.
"The Death Notebook: whoever's name gets written in its pages, the pony of that name would die in under a minute of a heart attack." Sparklebutt spoke somberly,
"What!?" the Deadly Four cried in unison.
"You mean, Tenant is going to die?!" Rainbow Dash yelled, causing some of the Horde member's eyes to widen at that.
"Well," 'The Hooded Offender' began. "Since you've revealed that there was a spy among us, I assume that Tenant, who was supposed to be up the entrance doing surveillance, double-crossed us. That or he's too incompetent to be of any use to me alive so..."
Twilight's ears flattened against her head at your implication of "B.S.T.'s death being her fault" as Rainbow Dash yells,
"You monster! He has a daughter!"
With that, she charges, but she stopped once you ready your writing tool onto paper,
"You wouldn't want another on the page, would you?" you threaten causing her to back down.
"Why? Why are you doings this?" Rarity says,
You give her an intense glare as you declare,
"If this is what I get for trying to STOP a revolutionary war in Equestria, then let THIS be the first casualty! There WILL be no mercy as far as I'm concerned! And there wouldn't a bucking thing that that'll stop me-"
"Wait, there's gonna be a revolution?!" Twilight exclaims and silence falls as you realize your ruthless declaration just backfired as you think,
please, please, PLEASE Lady Luck, let the DN bluff kick in...
"N-no!" Twilight cries, breaking the silence "You're wrong! If my other self from the future came to me and gave me this warning, then it wouldn't have been impossible to stop you!"
You scowl,
"Oh? And what warning did you get? What instructions from the future were you given? Did she say there would be a revolution?"
"I was told that a disaster was happening and that I shouldn't, uh..." She paused, trying to find the words, but you push,
"Shouldn't what?"
"That I-I..." She stammers as she sweats bullets.
You give a chilling laugh.
"You don't know? You don't know! Ahahaha! Well, how about I tell you!" You snarled, causing them to all jump back. "You shouldnt have provoked me! You shouldn't have bothered me for so long and you shouldn't have betrayed me that one time! You shouldn't been an idiot! You shouldn't have been a liar!" She flinched at the liar part. Suddenly, you smile. "...But you're right. You can stop this disaster. All you have to do is leave."
"Leave?!" the Deadly Five exclaim.
"Yes. Leave. Walk away. Pretend that none of this had ever happened. I would reverse the curse, and he'll go exit free. As long as he never shows his face again... If he even shows that face of his at all..."
You tap on the notebook for emphasis before you nonchalantly say,
"By the way, B.S. has nine seconds left..."
As the mares stand there conflicted, you take advantage of their hesitation and quickly whip out your Plasmid/Vigor glove (really need a name for that) and put it on before pointing it towards them and shouting,
This is only going to end badly if you don't do something to stop it. Time for action! "Alright! Everypony chill out!" you announce, drawing everpony's attention. "Chill out?!" Twi says menacingly as she stalks towards you and charges up her horn "There's a world-ending disaster right around the corner and you want us to 'chill out'!?" "I'm sorry, I said that wrong. What I meant to say was..." you charge up your Winter Blast plasmid "would you all kindly CHILL THE BUCK OUT!" and with that you slam your hoof into the floor, creating a frost nova that coats the Deadly 5 in a thick layer of frost, freezing them to where they stand. "Now then," you say to Twilight "if you'll excuse me for a moment; just stay right there." You could have sworn you saw her eyes roll under the ever so slowly melting ice.
You have a new plasmid, right...
"Chill out!"
Nothing happens as everypony gives you a "really?" look before Twilight breaks the silence,
"Chill out?!" Twi says menacingly as she stalks towards you and charges up her horn "There's a world-ending disaster right around the corner and you want us to 'chill out'!? And your about to kill somepony too!"
"I'm sorry, I said that wrong. What I meant to say was would you all kindly CHILL THE BUCK OUT!" you declare as you slam your gloved hoof into the floor, creating a frost nova that coats the Deadly 5 in a thick layer of frost, freezing them to where they stand.
"Now then," you say to Twilight "if you'll excuse me for a moment; just stay right there and cool off..."
Almost everypony in the room groans at that pun and you could have sworn you saw her eyes roll under the ever-so-slowly melting ice.
With that out of the way and the Deadly Five cooling down, you walk over to the Horde members, but your eyes widen in shock when you realize that they're not wearing hoods! Thinking quickly, you mentally whisper to Selena...
No one has a hood on except for you, they’ll know who everyone is unless you do something, but what? If only it were darker…wait. “Selena! I need your help!” “I can see that, what do you need?” “Can you darken the Elite member’s faces or something, I don’t want them getting in trouble.” “I will try…” She unleashes a dark mist that obscures the features of all the Elite, making them appear blurry, aside from Fluttershy and Spike. “What are you doing Varmit?” AJ asks. “The Horde are my family, and they are under my protection…you will not harm them!”
Selena! I need your help!
I can see that, what do you need?
Can you darken the Horde's faces or something, I don’t want them getting in trouble.
I will try…
She (and by extension, you) release a dark mist that obscures the features of all theHorde members, making them appear blurry, aside from Fluttershy and Spike. They look around in shock of the sudden midnight mist, but you ignore it as you hear Applejack scream from her icy prison,
“What are you doing Varmint?!”
Apparently, Freeze froze everything except their mouths, grreeeeaaatttt...
With a sigh of annoyance you turn around and yell,
“The Horde are MY family, and they are under MY protection… you will NOT harm them!”
The Horde smile brightly at that from beneath the mist and Applejack surprisingly has a look of understanding. You shake it off as your eyes playing tricks on you as you say,
"Now let's all calm down an-"
"NO! STOP YOUR LIES OFFENDER! RELEASE THESE PONIES OF YOUR MIND CONTROL OR I'LL-!" Twilight shouts.
You growl in anger as your eyes glow orange as you turn to face Twilight and shout,
"I HAVE ENOUGH!" Shout suddenly the hooded "So... Mind control?" Ask the hooded "Yes!!! you put everypony here in mind control" Say Twilight "Just like you put them with the plushie a couple of weeks ago?" comment Bugzee as the hooded offender "I... I..." Begin to say Twilight as everypony that seemed to forgot that looked to her "And what happened? Your Princess, appeared and she repaired your mistake" Say Bugzee "I..." Say Twilight "look to everypony here... how much power do you think I need to put them under my spell? Remember the wedding, it was hard to Chrysalis to put your own brother in control, and she was with him all the time" Comment Bugzee as he sensed that was begin to win "How do you know about that? That was classified information" Ask Twilight "Not to say, you are not sleeping... Look at her, everypony, she is not sleeping well, she tell to all she meet herself in the future and apocalypsis is coming... Also, you are the element of magic, just tell me, how much magic I could need to control their mind and how much magic could I need to change the memory of them? Maybe as much as the power of Discord? That is in stone, are you sure it's not you, the one under magic mind control?" Ask the hooded offender Everypony gasp after what the figure of the Hooded Offender say, as they are confused, and then you look to Applejack "You are honesty... tell me, I tell any lie? Or did your friend maybe tell any lie?" Ask The Offender
"ENOUGH!"
After everypony quiets down, you continue by asking,
"So... Mind control?"
"Yes!!! You put everypony here under your mind control!" Twilight says.
"Just like you did with that dirty doll a couple of weeks ago?" you point out.
"I... I..."
"And what happened then? Did your princess put a death order for you? NO! She just came in and cleaned up your mess!"
"I..."
"Look at everypony here... How much power do you think I'd need to put them under my spell? Remember the wedding? It was hard for the Queen of the changeling hive to put your own brother in control, and she was with him all the time"
"How do you know about that? That was classified information-"
"Look at her, everypony, she's clearly sleep-deprived. Also, you're the element of magic so tell me, how much magic would I need to control their minds and how much magic could I need to change their memories? Maybe as much power as Discord, who is in stone right now?"
Everypony gasps after what you just said, as they're now confused. You then turn to Applejack and ask,
"You're honesty, right? Am I lying?"
"Well- I- Um..."
You smile devilishly as you think,
Oh... I must have sounded soooo cool while burning them just then! Take that Sparklebutt! Now to get some answers...
With that you ask,
"Now, how did you find us? There's no way you could have found out on your own, so how did you find us?"
You still doubt that the spy is real (considering how bad the lie was) but Twilight just says,
"I already told you, I totally have a real, defiantly-not-fake-in-any-way spy that told me!"
Seems like she's continuing her bad lie... Now how did they pinpoint this exact spot?
The Whelp Selena chimes in.
What?
The dragon has a tracer spell on him. It's faint, but I can sense it. Look at the slight purple discoloration upon his ear.
You look at Spike’s ear and you indeed do see magicky stuff on it.
“Spike! You’ve got a tracker on you!” You exclaim, causing everyone to gasp and look at him, as he starts grasping at his ears in confusion.
“Vice President Spike?! YOU'RE THE TRAITOR?! HOW COULD YOU?!” Octavia accuses.
“NO! NO! I would never do that!" Spike pleads, "I PROMISE! I DON’T KNOW WHERE THIS CAME FROM!”
“I put it there of course!” Crazlight chimes in.
“Twilight…Why?..” Spike asks in confusion and hurt as everypony looks at her frozen form.
“I have to monitor EVERYTHING Spike to ensure the Disaster doesn't happen. You are part of everything, so yeah.” Crazlight says nonchalantly
“How did you know this was going to be a Horde meeting though?” you ask.
“Well…I actually didn't, I tracked Spike because he left the house instead of helping me, and I saw him entering a bar! A BAR! He is way too young for that!”
“I’m only @* years younger than you!” he cries in outrage.
“You are?!” both you and Tacky McStabFlank ask in genuine surprise, “Then why the heck do you look like you’re 8?” you continue,
“Dragons live for like thousands of years man, I age slowly.”
“Still too young for bars… so I gathered the girls to rescue you and stage an intervention, and who do we run into? YOU!" she says as she tries to point a frozen hoof at you, "Out of anypony in the world, it HAD to be YOU!"
“Hey better him than ninjas right?” Lyra chimes in.
“NO! It’s even worse, you are so grounded young stallion!”
“You can’t ground me!” he shouts.
“Yes I can, you are MY baby dragon and you will-” she starts before she is cut off by an outraged Spike.
“YOU’RE NOT MY BUCKING MOTHER!!!”
Everyone gasps at that as somepony (you couldn't tell who at the moment) whispers,
"Quick! Somepony pass me some popcorn! This is getting spicy!"
“Spikey-Wikey, such language!” Rarity admonishes.
“Spike…” Twilight tries to say,
“NO Twilight! I do everything for you. Everything! And this is how you repay me? You broke my trust with this whole tracker thing and I can hang out with whoever I bucking want! LEAVE THE OFFENDER ALONE!”
Realizing what's happening you think,
No... no, no, no, no, NO! I'm breaking up ANOTHER family! I'm not letting this happen!
Thinking quickly you shout with the RCV,
"THAT'S ENOUGH SPIKE! STAND DOWN AND GET OVER HERE!"
Spike flinches slightly at your command, but he calms down a little bit before he backs away from the frozen ponies and over to you. You kneel down to his height, put your hoof on his shoulder, and whisper with a caring voice,
"Look buddy, I appreciate you standing up for me, but you shouldn't have said that stuff to her. Sure she's an insane bossy perfectionlist, but she's your family and even if you two are on different sides, you should still stand by her and give her your support okay?"
Spike gives a half nod before you say,
"Trust me, you'll want to spend time with your family for as long as you can, cause..."
Flashbacks to... that incident come to your mind before you say with a shaky voice,
"C-cause you never know when they'll be gone, okay?"
Spike gives you a confused look, but still nods his head. Before you can continue this talk, you hear Octavia say,
"So...there isn't a spy?"
HO turns to Octavia, and gives a loud sigh. "Octavia, there is no spy," he says. "Twilight was obviously lying and you are just taking everything way too seriously." "Oh," Octavia says, looking dejected. "Sorry, I-" HO pats her on the back of the neck. "It's OK, Octavia, don't worry about it. Just... think a bit less radical." She smiles as HO appears to have forgivin her, blushing a little. HO turns back around to see a beam of magic blast him in the face.
You turn to Octavia, and give a loud sigh,
"Octavia, there is no spy. Twilight was obviously lying and you're just taking everything way too seriously."
"Oh," Octavia says, looking dejected. "Sorry, I-"
You walk over and pat her on the back of the neck as you say,
"It's OK, Octavia, don't worry about it. Just... think a bit less radical."
She smiles and blushes at your touch when...
*crack*
"That doesn't sound go-" You mutter as you turn around only to get blasted in the face by magic. You shake your head to get rid of the spots in your eyes as you see that the Deadly five have thawed out!
"Aha!" Twilight shouts. "Magic gone! Now this should be easy." "Oh, really?" HO shrieks. "Hit me while I'm lecturing my followers, sure." Twilight charges up a blast of magic, but activating his telekinesis plasmid, HO shouts, "Would you kindly STOP BUCKING INTERRUPTING ME!" before telekinetically pinning her to the floor. Twilight cries out in surprise. "But... your magic is-" "I ASKED YOU TO SHUT THE BUCK UP!" HO screeches, the intensity of his cry intimidating the rest of the deadly five back. "You blast through the roof of one of my follower's place of business for no reason other than to chase an innocent stallion that the princess has already forgiven! You accuse me of mass mind manipulation, something that even Chrysalis couldn't bucking do on the scale you claim, and something you yourself did not two weeks ago! And after I fought the God of Chaos to a draw for you traitorous witches. But you don't remember that. Why? Because of an obvious chaotic mind control spell! Are you telling me no one else saw Discord snap his fingers before he turned to stone? And instead of believing the obvious, you submit to a predictable mind game like a brainless sheep and make excuses for my obvious actions of good! And what was I doing? Oh, nothing but stopping a BUCKING WAR! BUCK YOU, YOU HYPOCRITICAL, EASILY-FOOLED, BOOK OBSESSED, PURPLE BRAINED FOAL!"
"Aha!" Twilight declares, "With your magic disabled, this should be easy!"
"Oh, really?" You snark, "Hit me while I'm lecturing my followers, sure..."
Twilight charges up a blast of magic, but you activate the telekinesis plasmid and shout,
"Would you kindly STOP BUCKING INTERRUPTING ME!" before telekinetically pinning her to the floor.
As the other four prepare to charge you, Twilight cries out in surprise,
"But... your magic is-"
"I asked you TO SHUT THE BUCK UP!"
You roar the last part in the RCV, the intensity of your cry intimidating the rest of the deadly five back as you start to rant,
"Pardon if I repeat myself, but..."
*snap*
"You blast through one of my follower's place of business for no reason other than to chase an innocent stallion that the princess has already forgiven! You accuse me of mass mind manipulation, something that even Chrysalis couldn't bucking do on the scale you claim, and something you yourself did not two weeks ago! I even fought the God of Bucking Chaos for you traitorous witches, but nooooooo you don't remember that, Why?! Because of an obvious chaotic mind control spell! Are you telling me no one else saw Discord snap his fingers before he turned to stone? And instead of believing the obvious, you submit to a predictable mind game like a brainless sheep and make excuses for my obvious actions of good! And what was I doing? Oh, nothing but TRYING TO STOP A BUCKING WAR YOU HYPOCRITICAL, EASILY-FOOLED, BOOK-OBSESSED, MINDLESS, PURPLE-BRAINED FOAL!"
Everyling stares at you in shocked silence as your words start to sink in, and you breath in and out to calm down as you think,
Dang... it feels good to get all of that off my chest. Now maybe Sparklebutt will think straight and-
With a growl, Twilight pries herself out of your telekinetic grip and roars at you,
"You are DEAD! All you've ever done is bring chaos and misery! You assaulted my friends, tried to take over Appleloosa, kidnapped several stallions with Diamond Dog minions, destroyed the gala, helped turn Ponyville into the Chaos Capital of the world!"
She points to Fluttershy and Spike before she continues,
"And you've even corrupted one of our own!" She cries as she leaps forward and pins you to the ground by your throat.
"I swear, when I'm through with you-"
"GET OFF OF HIM!!!" Octavia screams as she rushes forward and bucks Twilight in the face with both hooves sending the purple unicorn stumbling back. As the Deadly Five and Octavia prepare to charge each other you quickly get in front of Octavia and declare,
"Would you kindly CHILL THE BUCK OUT!" activating the Ice plasmid and freezing the Deadly Five's hooves to the ground.
Rarity and Twilight try to activate their magic, but you freezes their horns as well.
*snap*
"What that buck is with you!?"you roar in the RCV, eyes blazing orange, "I save three foals from a cockatrice, I save a town from an Ursa Minor, I stop a war in Appleoosa (a war that YOU STARTED by the way) I bucking sacrificed myself to save you witches at the Gala, I brought you back from Discord's spell, reunited you with your friends, and bucking fought the god of chaos half to death just to buy you a little time, and what was I doing tonight? STOPPING A BUCKING WAR!!! And the worst part..."
You lumber jerkily up to a terrified-looking Twilight,
"You know what the worst part is?"
Twilight shuts her eyes, waiting for it to end.
You dejectedly drop to the floor and sigh,
"I can't even blame you..."
"Huh?" everypony in the room says in confusion,
"Sure, you followed me like a starved manticore after a chicken, and you wanted to kill me like one as well, and that's IS your own fault. But I forgave you and I thought you'd forgiven me too."
Twilight looks at you in shock as the orange from your eyes fades,
"If only you could remember..."
You suddenly grab Twilight's face before shouting,
"Come on, Crazlight, REMEMBER!!!"
Fluttershy walks over to join her shocked friend and says,
"It's true Twilight," she whispers. "Everything he said. Come on Twilight, I know you can remember!"
"But... but... No! It's you! You're..." Twilight sputters. "Evil... mind control... evil... evil! You're evil!" she cries, a crazed look in her eyes-
*smack*
You slap Twilight across the face causing a gasp from everypony in the room. She pauses for a few moments before sighing.
Everypony in the room suddenly glows a bright golden and is frozen in time (Twilight's mouth and eyes glow golden as well) as the Deadly Five are floated into the air, breaking the ice. Twilight's mouth opens and she speaks, though her voice is a mixture of hers and that of the creature you have learned to hate...
"My my, Mr. Offender," Twilight says. "Trying to clear your name so soon..."
You growl a single word,
"Discord..."
"The one and only," Twi/Cord says.
"You, you, YOU!" you roar.
"Add an adjective and a noun and you got a sentence." Twi/Cord snarkily interrupts.
"YOU! I was making progress until YOU came along. I had them liking me. I was the hero! YOU took that from me!"
"Fair enough," Twi/Cord says. "Though I must say, pulling off that spell in a fraction of a second was no easy task, even for me."
"H-How?" you as in shock, "You- you're supposed to be trapped in stone!"
"I am," Twi/Cord replies. "This is just a magical recording I left behind should you ever break my spell."
"...But you just answered my question," you point out.
"It's a semi-sentient magical recording," Twi/Cord says. "Makes conversation like I would, but doesn't actually think for itself. But we're getting off topic here."
Twi-Cord clears it's throat and explains,
"I left this recording behind so it could renew my spell should anypony somehow manage to break it during your lifetime, but my my, I never expected it to be so soon. You've been busy, haven't you Hoody?"
"Shut up!" you roar, "Leave me the buck alone! Get out of here and out of Twilight's head."
"Aww. But what fun would that be?" Twi/Cord coos, but suddenly he twitches and the golden glowing eyes fade for a moment.
"What's happening?" Twilight screams in her voice. "What's going on with my head?"
Suddenly, the golden glow reclaims control.
"Hmm. Impressive," Twi/Cord remarks. "It seems I will have to leave after all. My control is breaking so it's a good thing I've already renewed the spell that tricked them into thinking you were the villain."
"But you just blabbed your plan in front of them like a cliched supervillain!" you say.
Twi/Cord grins at you,
"That's another fun feature this spell has, it freezes time and space so only you and I can have this talk. I think I'll just leave you to explain to these five why you slapped Twilight in the face, floated them into the air, and dropped them. Allons-y, Offender. I do hope you're still alive when I break out again. It'll be so much fun!"
"BUCK YOU DISCORD! BUCK YOU WORLD! BUCK YOU LADY LUCK!" you start cursing, but with a flash of gold, the light retreats as the deadly five drop back to the ground, the golden glow gone.
"Ugh," Twilight groans "What hap- YOU!" She leaps up when she sees HO. "What did you do to me? What did you do to my friends-"
You're a little too busy to notice this as you're still ranting, eyes glowing orange and a bit of Nightmare cloak (like barely any, just dots of it) fly off you as you shout,
"YOU HEAR ME DISCORD! IF I EVER GO TO CANTERLOT AGAIN, I'M GONNA TAKE A BUCKING SLEDGEHAMMER TO YOUR STATUE! AND IF YOU GET FREE THEN I'M GONNA RIP YOUR HEART OUT, HAVE THE QUACK PUT IT BACK IN, THEN I'M GONNA RIP YOU APART MOLECULE BY MOLECULE! THEN WHEN I PUT YOU BACK TOGETHER I'M GONNA TAKE THAT STUPID HAND OF YOURS AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR-"
"AHEM!"
You look over to Twilight who glares angrily at you as you snap,
"WHAT!"
Twilight huffs before she is about to say something when Spike says,
"Twilight, now's not a good bucking time!"
“Spike Dude, What’s the matter with you?” Rainbow admonishes, “Twilights like your family, you don’t say stuff like that to her! It’s wrong!” “OH like YOU have any right to say that to him,” Applejack growls at Rainbow. “And what’s that supposed to mean?” Rainbow replies angrily. “Nothing that you would understand Ms. LOYALTY, ha, what a joke.” “OK, you’ve been insulting me all day, the heck is wrong with you?! Why are you doing this?” “You know dang well why you stallion stealing hussy!” Everyone just looks at that outburst and gasps, while Thunderlane, Lyra, and Vinyl all shout “Oooooohhhhh…Burn!” “Really?! REALLY?! This is what this is about?” “He was mine and you stole him away!” “I didn’t see your name on him you Hick!” she gets in AJ’s face. “I told you I liked him you back stabbing Filly Fooler!” “Oh Filly Fooler huh? I bet he begs to differ!” “Ummm…do you two need a few minutes or something?” you ask not really sure where this is going as everyone watches the spectacle. “Shut yer dang mouth you varmit! This ain’t got nothing to do with you, this is between me and this poor excuse of a friend!” AJ replies, not even looking at you “Oh you wanna go? YOU WANNA BUCKING GO?!” Rainbow shouts putting her forehead hard against AJ’s. “OH I already went there!” AJ replies and then they start fighting. You and everyone else are just shocked as these two start having a catfight, they even somehow end up in a small pool of mud…when did that get there? You watch them do WWE type wrestling moves as the mud coats their bodies, making their manes wet and bringing out their curves more…You are enthralled “Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Stop it!” Twilight screams, but they ignore her. Fluttershy and the others try stopping the fight, but you hold them back. “Let them fight…” you say cryptically. “But we have to stop them before they are seriously hur…” Fluttershy starts. “Let them Fight.” “But they’re best friends, Friends shouldn’t fight like this!” Pinkie says with tears in her eyes. “LET THEM FIGHT!” “You’re getting aroused by this aren’t you?” Vinyl knowingly states. “Eh he he,” you stutter nervously while putting your leg behind your head, “Let them fight?” “Yes! For all that is good and holy, let them finish!” a frantic looking Thunderlane blurts out. While AJ and Dash fight, and Pinkie and Rarity try to stop them, Twilight just blinks her one non eyepatched eye and then grows angry as she looks at you. “You’ve turned Spike against me…” anger seeps from her voice. Fluttershy tries to defuse the situation. “Twilight, Girls, Everypony…let’s just talk about this OK?…” “Fluttershy has betrayed us for you…” She says more angrily. “The Buck you say? I didn’t…” A screech rolls out from the mud pit. “You fat flanked skank, that was my injured wing!” Rainbow Roars “Oh My Bad, let me even it out and break your other one!” AJ screams.
“Spike Dude, What’s the matter with you?” Rainbow admonishes, “Twilights like your family, you don’t say stuff like that to her! It’s wrong!”
“OH like YOU have any right to say that to him,” Applejack growls at Rainbow.
“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Rainbow replies angrily.
“Nothing that you would understand Ms. LOYALTY, ha, what a joke.”
“OK, you've been insulting me all day, the heck is wrong with you?! Why are you doing this?”
“You know dang well why you stallion stealing hussy!”
Everyone just looks at that outburst and gasps, while Thunderlane, Lyra, and Vinyl all shout,
“Oooooohhhhh… Burn!”
“Really?! REALLY?! This is what this is about?”
“He was mine and ya stole him!”
“I didn't see your name on him you Hick!” Rainbow says as she gets in AJ's face.
“I told you I liked him you back stabbing Fillyfooler!”
“Oh Fillyfooler huh? I bet he begs to differ!”
“Ummm…do you two need a few minutes or something?” you ask not really sure where this is going as everyone watches the spectacle.
“Shut yer dang mouth you varmint! This ain't got nothing to do with you, this is between me and this poor excuse of a friend!” AJ replies, not even looking at you,
“Oh you wanna go? YOU WANNA BUCKING GO?!” Rainbow shouts putting her forehead hard against AJ's.
“OH I already went there!” AJ replies and then they start fighting.
You and everyone else are just shocked as these two start having a catfight, they even somehow end up in a small pool of mud (when did that get there?). You watch them do pro-wrestling type moves and holds against each other as the mud coats their bodies, making their manes wet and bringing out their curves more as their bodies rub against each ot-
*spurt*
NO! BAD BUG!
This is good...
Wait, you're into mares? you think in confusion.
Not that pervert. Although I AM the goddess of the night so ALL creatures of all genders are below me and thus potential concubines when I take over and those two look well-built enough to qualify for my prime harem. But what I mean is that while they're fighting each other, they won't oppose us.
“Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Stop it!” Twilight screams, but they ignore her.
Fluttershy and the others try stopping the fight, but you hold them back,
“Let them fight…” you say cryptically.
“But we have to stop them before they are seriously hur-” Fluttershy starts.
“Let them Fight.”
“But they’re best friends, friends shouldn't fight like this!” Pinkie says with tears in her eyes.
“LET THEM FIGHT!”
“You’re getting aroused by this aren’t you?” Vinyl knowingly states.
“Eh he he,” you stutter nervously while putting your leg behind your head, “Let them fight?”
“Yes! For all that is good and holy, let them finish!” a frantic looking Thunderlane blurts out.
"Stallions..." most of the mares in the room comment with a roll of their eyes.
While AJ and Dash fight, and Pinkie and Rarity try to stop them, Twilight just blinks her one non eyepatched eye and then grows angry as she looks at you,
“You've turned Spike against me…” anger seeps from her voice.
Fluttershy tries to defuse the situation,
“Twilight, Girls, Everypony…let’s just talk about this OK?…”
“Fluttershy has betrayed us for you…” She says more angrily.
“The Buck you say? I didn't…”
A screech rolls out from the mud pit,
“You fat-flank hick, that was my injured wing!” Rainbow roars
“Oh mah bad, let me even it out and break your other one!” Applejack screams.
You growl in annoyance as you think,
Ok, this may be SUPER hot, but couples should be hugging not fighting... Plus the only thing hotter than two athletic mares wrestling in mud is them having a full-blown make-ou- NO! BAD BUG!!!
*SPURT*
After you wipe some of the noseblood off...
"I've... Had... ENOUGH!" you yell as you stamp your hooves on the ground, waves of force rolling out and pinning everyone to the walls, oddly enough leaving Fluttershy where she was. Your eyes glowing orange, you sweep your eyes around the room,everyone too shocked to react, "I've had enough of all your prejudice! Enough of all of this! You don't quite understand what you are getting yourself into, I am trying to stop a luna-damned war!" You turn to Twilight as her horn begins to glow. She teleports out of the waves of force towards you. "Would you kindly FREEZE and listen to me for once!" you scream, using your freeze plasmid to freeze Twilight's hooves. The force you had on the others dissipates, dropping them all to the floor, "I have done nothing but try to help ponies! I've made mistakes, but they are just that, mistakes! You, however, don't seem to care much for that! You only see me as an enemy!" "Done nothing but help ponies? You destroyed the gala!" Rarity interrupts, her own horn glowing. "I was not myself at that moment! Besides, I stopped the roof from crushing everypony!"
*snap*
"ENOUGH!" you yell as you grab the staff out of the Inventory and slam it onto the floor, the wave surging forward and knocking the Deadly Five against the wall. You sweep your glowing orange eyes around the room, everypony too shocked to react,
"I've had enough of all your prejudice! Enough of all of this! You don't quite understand what you are getting yourself into, I am trying to stop a luna-stinking war!"
Twilight recovers first and charges at you.
"Would you kindly FREEZE and listen to me for once!" you scream, using your freeze plasmid to freeze Twilight's hooves as you continue, "I have done nothing but try to help ponies! I've made mistakes, but they are just that, mistakes! You, however, don't seem to care much for that! You only see me as an enemy!"
"Done nothing but help ponies? You destroyed the gala!" Rarity interrupts,
"Should we do something? I feel weird just standing around like a side character as our leader and the Elements argue." Lyra comments
"No, just let them handle it." Bon Bon replies.
"I was not myself at that moment!" you continue, "Besides, I stopped the roof from crushing everypon-"
"Get offa me!"
"What? I'm just showing you where I'll be with Tennant tonight!"
*spurt*
As your nose bleeds, you all turn to see that Applejack and Rainbow Dash are still fighting in mud, but now the FIllyfooler has the Hick in a rear headlock. After a reversal, Applejack is now mounting Rainbow Dash and raining down punches,
"It's called 'cowfilly position' for a reason! But of course you wouldn't know that ya Fillyfooler!"
*spurt*
If this keeps up, you're going to die of blood loss. Selena points out.
Agreed, though I don't know if I should be aroused or terrified... Maybe I settled for terrified arous- Save it for marriage, save it for marriage-
"Sweet Celestia!" Thunderlane comments in obvious arousal marked by his wings popped out and pulsing, "Playcolt doesn't even begin to compare to th-*smack*"
"Heel..."
Octavia admonishes as she smacks Thunderlane upside the head.
Twilight then grits her teeth in anger as she says,
Additional dialogue: "Aww yeah! Barfight!" Vinyl declares happily and smashes a bottle of Jack Spaniels over the nearest pony's head. "OW! Vinyl that was me!" Octavia snaps at her. "Yeah, I know." Vinyl shrugs back with an innocent smile.
“Our Friendship is once more fractured by you…”
“Hey, I helped you fix that once before when that Chaotic nutjob messed up your mind!" you defend, "And I don’t have anything to do with their lover’s quarre-”
“SHUT UP BUG!” Rainbow Dash and Applejack yell from the pit.
“Your revolution will cause the disaster next Tuesday Morning…” Crazlight continues.
“Hey Hey now, I don’t support that at all I swear! That’s exactly what we were just talking about before-”
“You have to die…” Twilight interrupts nonchalantly.
“I’m sorry, WHAT?!”
“If you die now… THEN EVERYTHING WILL GO BACK TO NORMAL! EVERYTHING!!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!” she says in the most insane way possible, causing everyone to stop and look at her (even the mud-covered wrestlers stop, much to Thunderlane's disappointment)
Without warning, she jumps on you and begins choking you (she's a lot stronger when she's insane), but everypony yanks you two apart.
“The Buck Mare! I never tried to kill you before… on purpose anyway!” you cough as Octavia and Fluttershy slap your back,
“Twilight, we can’t just kill him!” Rarity says as she holds a struggling Twilight back,
“Yeah, are you loco in the coco?” Pinkie adds in as she holds both Applejack and Rainbow Dash in headlocks.
“I HAVE TO STOP THE DISASTER! ALL OF EXISTENCE IS COUNTING ON ME!!!” she laments causing everyone to finally see just how much sanity has slipped from her.
“Oh Buck this!” You scream as you reach into your potion sash and throw down a smoke/stink bomb (2 Smoke/Stink bombs remain).
“Members of the Horde…COVER YOUR NOSES AND RUN AWAY!” you shout as you bravely flee, leading the members up and into the bar… straight into a squad of guards who have Berry and Bulk in hoofcuffs.
“Stop right there criminal scum! You violated the law!” a generic sounding one shouts as the Deadly Five (including a still-frequently-shoulder-punching-each-other Rainbow Dash and Applejack) come up the stairs.
“YOU’LL NEVER TAKE US ALIVE!!!” shouts Raven, surprising you all as she runs forward and smashes a guard in the head with a bottle.
As everypony looks at her in shock, she shrugs and says,
"What? A mare's gotta unwind at night if she wants to look professional in the day."
"Seize her for assault on a Guard!" on of them declares causing them to all rush at her...
"NO SHADOW KICK!" you declare as you jump at the guards and hit them with a flurry of kicks along their faces. The Deadly Five rush at you, but they're intercepted by the Horde members rushing them and soon a full-blown melee starts.
"Aww yeah! Barfight!" Vinyl declares happily and smashes a bottle of Jack Spaniels over the nearest pony's head.
"OW! Vinyl that was me!" Octavia snaps at her.
"Yeah, I know." Vinyl shrugs back with an innocent smile.
As you look at the melee going on (among the highlights; Octavia and Rarity are in a karate-fight, Applejack and Rainbow Dash are wrestling in mud again *spurt* and Thunderlane is hiding in a corner with a beer watching the two) around you, you realize that this bar fight is quickly getting too out of hoof, you take drastic measures...
Eventually you whip out the Plushie and use the RCV “HORDE MEMBERS, SHIELD YOUR EYES!” The guards and the deadly 6 look at you and fall asleep, unfortunately Thunderlane, Bon Bon, and Vinyl all looked and got knocked out too. You then have everyone book it out of there, making it look like the guards had a drunken brawl, or at least that’s what Berry will tell them. And tell them you will put a stop to the Fillydelphia uprising.
Use Knock-Out Luna Plushie and when everypony is unconscious move their bodies around so when they wake up, they merely think they drank too much at Berry Punch's bar and got into a bar brawl (and since you're a prankster, put a few of them in hilarious positions like have Applejack and Rainbow Dash lay with each other in hopes that the fillyfoolers will be with each other instead of after you, put a lampshade on Rarity's head, surround Twilight with empty beer bottles, etc.), However, leave behind a note for Fluttershy saying that the meeting did happen and then put Spike outside of the bar and leave him a note that says something like this, Spike, the meeting DID happen, but Twilight crashed it. Fortunately, I managed to knock everypony out and arranged things so that they'll look like they merely had too much to drink and got into a brawl. I need you to complete the illusion by rushing in and going to Twilight and waking her up with some story about how Twilight just ran out ranting about something and you searched all over town for her. I know your angry at Twilight, but please don't be mad at her. I have faith in you. Sincerely The Hooded Offender Next, gently shake him awake and leave before he sees you.
You reach into the Inventory as you spin to dodge a pegasus guard flying at you (thank you DODGE training) who smashes headfirst into a stool swung by Lyra.
"I'm adding that to your tab!" Berry comments.
"Bon Bon will pick it up!"
"I told you to stop doing that!" Bon Bon says as she holds on to a flailing Guard's back.
You then whip out the Knock-out Luna Plushie and declare,
"GOODNIGHT EVERYLING!!!"
This gets everypony's attention as they see the plushie and get knocked out by it's adorable perfection and fall where they are.
Okay. Time to get to work...
NEAR THE FARM
You're now approaching your shed as you just set everything up at the bar to make it look like a drunken bar brawl. Among your set ups,
-Changed back into your "Doctor Outfit"
-Twilight is surrounded by empty beer bottles with a lampshade on her head
-In hopes of getting the Fillyfoolers together so they'll be too busy to bother you, you put Applejack and Rainbow Dash in a mud pool with a sign that says, "Free Muddy Make-Outs!"
-Pinkie is put into a pile of sleep pills with a sign reading "Too much sugar will lead to this"
-Rarity's mane is messed up, orange dye poured on it, and she is put in the dirtiest corner of the bar
-Thunderlane is put into a middle of all the mare Horde members with a sign reading "I scored big tonight!"
-Put Fluttershy in the "Desginated Flyer" corner with a note for her hidden beneath her wing which reads,
Dear Fluttershy,
Bugze here. The meeting did happen. Everything you saw happened. Besides the mud pit, that never happened. Don't ask me how I know you thought of it, just accept it. I'm off to Fillydelphia to stop Flag Burner. Do. Not. Follow. I don't want you or the other members getting hurt, so please stay in Ponyville. And please take care of Nightshade for me will ya!
Thanks,
"Hoody"
-Left behind one of your calling cards.
-And finally to complete the illusion, you put Spike just outside the bar door with a letter that reads,
Spike, the meeting DID happen, but Twilight crashed it. Fortunately, I managed to knock everypony out and arranged things so that they'll look like they merely had too much to drink and got into a brawl.
I need you to complete the illusion by rushing in and going to Twilight and waking her up with some story about how Twilight just ran out ranting about something and you searched all over town for her.
I know your angry at Twilight, but please don't be mad at her. She's lost, but she'll find her way... hopefully.
I have faith in you.
Sincerely,
The Hooded Offender
And then gently shook him to wake him up and left before he could open his eyes.
As you enter your shed...
Selena speaks up, unsure of this course of action “Are you sure it’s wise not to take her with us?” “We’re going to a new town and more than likely will end up smashing the place…I don’t want to chance it.” “It never stopped you before.” “Before she hardly ever left her room, and slept for days on end. She’s got more energy now, and I don’t want her wandering off when anything can happen. This is for the best.” You leave the shack and mumble “Still wonder why she doesn’t sleep as much as she used to.” “I may have an answer to that…” “You do? OK, tell me on the train then.
Go back to your shed, pick up a sleeping Nightshade, write and leave behind a note for the Apples in your shed claming that you have... "business" in Fillydelphia. Go to train station and buy a ticket to Fillydelphia (40 Bits remaining)
Are you sure it is wise not to take her with us? Selena asks in concern.
“We’re going to a new town and more than likely will end up smashing the place…I don’t want to chance it.” you say as you lovingly rub Nightshade's sleeping head and pick up a pen and paper.
It never stopped you before.
“Before she hardly ever left her room, and slept for days on end. She’s got more energy now, and I don’t want her wandering off when anything can happen." you reply as you write down a note.
"Trust me, this is for the best...”
You leave the shack and mumble,
“Still wonder why she doesn't sleep as much as she used to.”
I may have an answer to that…
“You do? OK, tell me on the train then." you reply as you put the note on the door (the note says:).
Dear Apples,
Tennant here. Due to recent family troubles in Fillydelphia, I'll need to leave for a few days. I should be back soon, but I don't know exactly when. See you all when I get back. And watch Nightshade for me!
Thanks,
Baker Sylvester Tennant
As you walk to the train station, you don't notice that you pass by the now bruised and battered Deadly Five and Fluttershy (who's desperately trying to get everypony to get along). Twilight has a lampshade on her head and claims the Horde did it, Rainbow and Applejack keep fighting over "Tennant" and are covered in mud, Rarity is twitching and holds her now-orange hair in sadness and horror while mumbling 'orange, why'd it have to be orange'. Pinkie has a bunch of sleeping pills in her mane and she is noticeably more tired looking, but they all stop and look at you in confusion as they hear you say out loud (you're talking to Selena).
"Yeah I know they won't remember what happened because they were KO'D. But that doesn't mean the guilt of what happen will disappear like that as well."
You stop talking to listen to what Selena had to say, while Fluttershy and the Deadly Five look at you in confusion. Suddenly a look of anger comes across your face as you say,
"You think I don't bucking know that! They were already trying to kill each other before they got to the bar from what I could tell, so that means they've been going at this for awhile, Which further means I ruined their friendship!"
You stop talking, allowing Selena to speak. The Deadly five look at you in shock at the whole "ruined a friendship" thing. Fluttershy and Twilight get somber looks on their faces as they figured out what your talking about, but their looks turn into horror as you get a morbid expression as you say,
"Look, it doesn't matter. I'm ending it no matter what. When I get to Fillydelphia and take care of that, I'm ending it. Baker Sylvester Tennant will be gone! I'm gonna make sure that nopony will have to deal with me anymore..."
They look at you in horror (not that you know they can hear you or see you) at the way you said it implies, but you suddenly stop for a second before shouting (causing them to jump from their hiding place),
"WELL WHAT THE BUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO! I somehow ruined Rainbow and Applejack's whole friendship, I made Pinkie seem like some sort of psycho (which she is technically) to the whole town, I made Twilight look like a psycho and made her freak out over nothing, and when I last saw Spike and Fluttershy when they were unconscious, they where bucking crying in their sleep! SO NO MATTER WHAT I DO I MAKE THINGS WORSE! SO I'M GONNA END IT BEFORE IT GETS EVEN MORE WORSE!"
And with that you walk into the train station and buy a ticket (45 Bits remaining), but you don't notice a group of mares watching you enter the train...
ON THE TRAIN
You sigh in sadness as you ride the train to Fillydelphia. You know by the time you finish there, the Hooded Offender will get blamed for whatever Flag Burner and his crazy cult have planned. Your eyes harden as you think,
Doesn't matter. Even if the Offender does get blamed, I would have stopped whatever this nut job has planed and saved Luna-knows how many ponies. Now as long as nothing unexpected happens on the way there I'll be fine, although Luna knows the history of me and trains have never been go-
Suddenly a violet light flashes in front of you, causing you to grab your eyes in pain. When the flash dies down, you see...
You look into the faces of the Deadly 6, all with different expressions. Twilight looks depressed, probably thinking that her recent actions have caused you to feel bad enough to end it. Rainbow Dash and Applejack look ashamed. Pinkie's main and tail are strait and darker usual. Rarity looks confused and disappointed in you. And Fluttershy (who you made sure to look at last because you guess by the others' expressions that hers would break you buggy heart) looks like a combination of devastated sadness and for some reason anger, the second expression you weren't expecting.
As you find yourself standing before the Deadly 6 on board the train to Fillydelphia, you can't help but notice that all have different expressions. Twilight has her eyepatch and looks depressed, Rainbow Dash and Applejack look ashamed, Pinkie's mane and tail look straighter and darker than usual, Fluttershy seems to have a combination of devastated sadness and anger, and Rarity looks disappointed with... a messy orange mane?
Before you can do anything, another flash of purple light gives the Deadly 6 instruments and they begin to play... Horribly.
When the song ends, you are left stunned with only one question,
"What... the buck... was that?"
"The worst audio abomination I've ever heard," shouts a nearby mare passenger.
"I'd rather walk through the thunder floor of the weather factory with no ear protection than listen to that again!" a pegasus stallion complains as he rubs one of his ears. "And I went half deaf the last time I did that!"
The instruments disappear in another flash of light, and Twilight throws her hooves around your neck in a hug,
"We heard what you're going to do! Please, Mr. Tennant, you can't! You still have so much friendship and magic to look forward to!"
You can only blink in confusion and say,
"What the buck are you-?"
I told you you were talking out loud.
Oh buck...
Fluttershy is near tears as she says,
Before you can do anything, another flash of purple light gives the Deadly 6 instruments and they begin to play. Horribly, because, you know, hooves.
When the song ends, you are left with only one question. "What... the buck... was that?" "The worst audio abomination I've ever heard," shouts a mare. "I'd rather walk through the thunder floor of the weather factory with no ear protection than listen to that again!" A pegasus stallion rubs one of his ears. "And I went half deaf the last time I did that!"The instruments disappear in another flash of light, and Twilight throws her hooves around your neck in a hug. "We heard what you're going to do! Please, Mr. Tennant, you can't! You still have so much friendship and magic to look forward to!" You blink. "What are you-?" I told you you were talking out loud. Oh buck... Fluttershy is near tears. "What about Nightshade? You... you were just going to leave her?" "I wasn't-" Applejack slaps you with her hat. "I thought you were more of a stallion than that!" "But-" Pinkie shrieks, "YOU WON'T HAVE ANYMORE BIRTHDAYS! AND, AND, THAT MEANS NO BIRTHDAY PARTIES!" "My poor ear," the stallion mutters. You clear your throat. "I think we all need to calm down-" "Yes, you do!" Rarity says. She summons her fainting couch... somehow... and pushes you onto it. "Now tell us, darling. What could drive you to consider such an act?" "I... I just need to get to Filly-" "Buck yeah, you do!" Rainbow Dash pounds your shoulder. "And we're going with you! Hospital bunk buddies stick together." "You don't have to-" Pinkie crosses her forelegs and hmphs. "He's still not getting it. Bring 'em back, Twilight! He needs another song!" "NO!" shout the mare, stallion, and Selena at the same time. "Please," the stallion begs, "be a friend. Don't make me listen to that again." "No more!" The mare is rocking back and forth, cradling her head in her hooves. "No more!" I somehow find their presence and sound of their voices more tolerable than those few minutes of agony they inflicted upon us. But- If I so mush as see a guitar near the prismatic fool again, I will control your body, burrow underground, and Falcon Punch the center of the Earth. I swear it. Either they follow us, or the world is doomed to destruction by a fiery explosion the likes of which has never been seen before and will never be seen again. Your choice. You think long and hard. Fire is pretty... For the love of... ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL. She takes control of your body and forces you to say, "Fine," before switching back. There. Was that so hard?
"What do you mean you're going to make sure that nopony will have to deal with you anymore?! You can't kill yourself! You have a daughter to look after mister!"
At this point, Fluttershy breaks down and leans into Rarity as Pinkie says through sniffles,
"Have we really been that *hic* bad that you want to do this? You could have just said something. It doesn't have to be like this..."
"I wasn't-*smack*"
Applejack interrupts you with a slap from her hat before putting in her tow cents,
"I thought you were more of a stallion than that!"
"But-"
"YOU WON'T HAVE ANYMORE BIRTHDAYS! AND, AND, THAT MEANS NO BIRTHDAY PARTIES!" Pinkie shrieks.
"My poor ear," the stallion passenger mutters.
You clear your throat and try to calm them down,
"I think we all need to calm down-"
"Yes, you do!" Rarity says as she summons her fainting couch (somehow...) and pushes you onto it.
"Now tell us, darling. What could drive you to consider such an act?"
You get off the couch and defensively say,
"What act? I... I just need to get to Filly-"
"Buck yeah, you do!" Rainbow Dash pounds your shoulder. "And we're going with you! Hospital bunk buddies stick together!"
"You don't have to-"
Pinkie crosses her forelegs and hmphs,
"He's still not getting it. Bring 'em back, Twilight! He needs another song!"
"NO!" screams the passengers and Selena at the same time.
"Please," the stallion begs, "Be a pal! Don't make me listen to that again!"
"No more!" The mare is rocking back and forth, cradling her head in her hooves, "No more!"
I somehow find their presence and sound of their voices more tolerable than those few minutes of agony they inflicted upon us. Selena agrees
But-
If I so mush as SEE a guitar near the prismatic fool again, I swear I will control your body, burrow underground, and Falcon Punch the center of the Earth. Either they follow us, or the world is doomed to destruction by a fiery explosion the likes of which has never been seen before and will never be seen again. Your choice.
You think long and hard before coming up with a carefully thought-out thought,
Selena takes control of your body and forces you to say,
"Fine," before switching back.
There. Was that so hard?
The mare and stallion sigh in relief before they go back to do... whatever it is they were doing. You stare in shock at what Selena just did, earning confused looks from the others before you think angrily at Selena,
Thanks alot! Now they're gonna come with us to Fillydelphia. You know, the place where I'm going to HAVE to be the Offender (the persona they hate with a passion) to stop the revolution!
It was either that or listen to their awful ear-splitting music again! Now make up an excuse to make them leave or I'll replay their music in your head!
You'll be stuck listening to it too!
I know, but since you won't allow me to paint the train in 12 fresh coats of their blood, you leave me no choice. Now make an excuse!
Okay okay sheesh...
What you don't know, is that while you were talking with Selena...
Rainbow gets in your face as you are just flabbergasted by everything. “Oh no, he’s gone into shock, I’ll give him mouth to mouth and make it better.” She leans in but is yanked back by AJ “Oh no you don’t Missy!” “Oh you did not just yank my mane!” “Girls, cut it out, now’s not the time for that!” Yells Twilight. Both AJ and Rainbow stop fighting and mutter apologies. “Mr. Tennant, please, you can’t give into you angst, please don’t kill yourself, that’s what the Death Note wants you to do!” Twilight pleads. “Wait What?” you ask confused as all tartarus “The Hooded Offender put your name down in the Death Note, its influence must be affecting you!” You look at her in utter bemusement, “The Death Note is an anime! And if my name was written down in it, wouldn’t I be dead already?” “Well…” she stammers, “maybe the real life one acts differently?” “Oh come on, you can’t possible believe…” And you are interrupted again as they all tell you to not end it.
“Oh no, he’s gone into shock, I’ll give him mouth to mouth and make it better.”
Rainbow Dash says as she leans in but is yanked back by Applejack,
“Oh no ya don’t Missy!”
“Oh you did not just yank my mane!” Rainbow Dash declares.
"Um... Actual mouth-to-mouth only works when he's lying down and I have done it to Hood- I mean Mr. Tennant befor-" Fluttershy says.
“Girls, cut it out! Now’s not the time for that!” Twilight yells as she gets between the mares, causing both Applejack and Rainbow Dash to stop fighting and mutter apologies.
“Mr. Tennant, please, you can’t give into you angst, please don’t kill yourself, that’s what the Death Notebook wants you to do!” Twilight pleads.
“Wait, Death What-book?” you ask in confusion.
“The Hooded Offender put your name down in the Death Note, its influence must be affecting you!”
You look at her in utter bemusement,
“The Death Notebook is an anime! And if my name was written down in it, wouldn't I be dead already?”
“Well…” she stammers, “maybe the real life one acts differently?”
“Oh come on, you can’t possible believe…”
"Don't do it man! It's not worth it man. It ain't worth it!" Rainbow Dash says,
"Ya'll can't go through with it, I need ya!" Applejack says causing everypony to look awkwardly at Applejack who quickly adds,
"On the farm! I... need you on the farm is what I meant to say! hehehehe."
"You can't die! Not until you change into something more fashionable!" Rarity says,
More stares, but these one's are leaning towards angry stares and you can relate as this situation is starting to get real annoying...
Mess with the Deadly 6 by threatening to jump out the window.
Suddenly you find yourself grabbed away from the window by Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Fluttershy.
"What? Can't you guys recognize a joke?" you say in a carefree tone.
"THIS ISN"T FUNNY!" the mares all declare as Twilight adds...
Twilight: We overheard you saying that you were going to end it. That Baker Sylvester Tennant will be no more. So this is an intervention. We are going to help you see that you don't have to end this. As you hear this, you begin to realize that they must have overheard you having that conversation with Selena. You can only think Oh Buck me.
"We overheard you saying that you were going to end it. That Baker Sylvester Tennant will be no more. So this is an intervention. We are going to help you see that you don't have to end this!"
“The Buck You Talking About?! I’m not going to do that! I have no plans to do that!” you blurt out.
Oh Really? I seem to recall you and me entering into a suicide pact not too long ago. Selena mentally says, sounding upset.
Well, aside from that… but hey, you’re getting better... right?
As much as I can with that threat looming over our heads I suppose…
Well, you know, desperate times and all… look I know that you- you try to comfort before being interrupted.
The Prism-haired one is trying to lock lips again.
“Gyagh!” you say as you snap out of it and duck away in time
“Dang it,” you hear Dash whisper.
“You spaced out again there sugarcube” Applejack adds as she glares at Rainbow Dash.
“Sorry, but ya, I’m not gonna commit suicide. Remind me again what makes you think I would?” you bluntly say,
“We heard you! You said that Baker Sylvester Tennant would be no more, and that you would end it…” Fluttershy says with tears in her eyes.
“Th-that was taken out of context, I mean what reason would I have to…”
“We heard you say you thought you were causing us harm for some reason, but we’re fine see,” Twilight says while putting on a fake smile.
“Yes please, think of your Daughter sir, all the times you fought to protect her, don’t let it all be in vain!” Rarity laments.
“Yeah, if you conk out, she’ll be sadder than sad, like I was when Granny Pie died,” Pinkie says in a sad voice.
“But I’m not gonna leave her! I’m not doing myself in!” you shout.
“But Fluttershy and I found these notes you left telling us to look after her,” Applejack holds up note, “ and you never leave her behind…”
“And you were arguing with yourself about why it’s a good thing for you to go-”
“OK OK, I know it looks bad… but I have an explanation!” you proclaim in exasperation.
“Yes!” they all ask at once.
“Ummm… Yeah, you see, my explanation is…”
They stare at you waiting for something, anything...
You have to come up with a good lie to get them off your back and fast, but what other reason could you have for ending an Identity? You were just gonna stop being B.S.T., because it was just a name…
*DING*
“You see…" you quickly look both ways for effect before whispering, "B.S.T. isn't my real name…”
Everyone gasps at this.
What are you doing you fool? Do you wish to expose thyself now? Selena chides.
Trust me on this… you think. You even see Fluttershy looking worried, but you give her a wink.
“What do you mean you’re not B.S.? Who else would you be?” asks a confused Pinkie.
“Someone else… I... was told to come to Ponyville and live there for at least a year by someone with a lot of power...”
“Why?” asks Dash.
“I got in trouble with some very mean, very powerful ponies that wanted to harm me and my daughter, so I went into hiding, and others helped me.”
“Are…Are you in witness protection?” asks Twilight piecing together what you've said.
“Something like that…I can’t say too much…”
I really can’t... you mentally add
“B-but then who are you? Really?” asks Applejack.
“I can’t tell you what my real name is…for my daughter's protection, but the B.S.T. you know is how I normally act so I’m not a complete stranger,” you say as you smile at her.
“OK, then why were you talking to yourself tonight?” Pinkie asks.
“I… um… talk to myself sometimes to get my thoughts organized and “pretend” that Nightshade’s mother answers back… it helps comfort me...”
They all look at you in sympathy
Tis what I am here for my friend.
“So wait...” Twilight says, "when you said that B.S.T. would be no more… does that mean you were going to change your Identity again?”
“Yeaaahhh… I kind of thought my very presence was causing too much trouble,” you look at AJ and Dash, “and drawing way too much attention to myself. I thought I’d be found out.”
Wow, you can't believe all you've said has not been a lie.
“But… that would mean you’d be moving on?” Applejack asks sounding downtrodden.
“Well… yeah-” you answer, bu then get an explosion of pleading,
“Please don’t leave, you and I haven’t finished all the Daring Do books together!” Dash says before she pulls you in and whispers, “Or gotten past first base” which causes you to blush.
“You've been a big help to me and the farm, I don’t want you gone, you’re like family,” Applejack pleads.
Dear Luna, that mare has no idea.
“Your daughter has so many friends in Ponyville, including my little sister, please don’t leave! You've done nothing to harm us.” Rarity pleads.
“Well, I kind of did make you two fight didn't I?” you say as you point to Dash and Applejack.
“Don’t worry Sugarcube we fight all the time! NO Biggie!” Applejack says as she looks around shiftily.
“Ya, come on man, we’re cool, everything’s cool!” Dash adds in shakily as she throws an arm around Applejack.
You can tell they are both still upset with each other, but you let it slide.
“OK, I won’t leave Ponyville, you happy?”
Pinkie cheers as they all glomp you in a hug.
“You’re secret is safe with us,” Fluttershy says as she gives you a knowing wink.
“And look, I appreciate the concern, but I’d rather not have you guys following me to Fillydelphia OK?”
“But we have to help you out, you are still a friend in need!” Twilight says. “Actually… that’s another thing, why are you going to Fillydelphia?”
“Umm… you know, family issues...” You say as now you really do have to lie.
“But I thought you said you didn't have no more family aside from your daughter and missing Grandpappy?” Applejack points out.
“That’s… partially true… I do have an extended family,” you say this as you look directly at her, “and there’s a problem in Filly that will affect them. I have to go in secret you know?”
“OH, but I’m sure we can help you in some way,” Twilight pleads.
“Not really, doesn't Ponyville need you more? Like stopping the disaster?”
Her eye widens (the other is still under the eyepatch),
“Oh my goodness, you’re totally right!”
You turn to the other 5 and say,
“And besides, if you all came with me, who would help her and also watch over Nightshade…”
“Ya, I guess you’re right…we just didn't want you hurting yourself or nothing so we all kind o panicked,” Applejack confesses, “Heck, I don’t even think we brought any luggage or tickets.”
“And you guys left Spike too” you add.
Twilight gets a sad look on her face at his name causing you think sympathetically think,
I really hope they can make up and-
"I must have worried him sick running out in a rant..."
Running out in a rant? I thought she was crashing- Oh yeah... the Luna Plushie...
Snapping out of your thoughts, you say,
“Look, I'm fine, just go on home and I’ll be back in a few days OK?”
"But Twilight, what about that Death Notebook? The hooded offender know our names, it's not dangerous?" Ask RD "That was not the true death notebook" Say Twilight "Of course, if it was the correct notebook we could find more apples that have been eat mysteriously, also, the normal is that Twilight have the correct Death Notebook and she give some pages to somepony, and the hooded offender could not be the second Kira because it could be very obvious" Say Pinkie Pie The rest of the bearers of the Element look at Pinkie
"But Twilight, what about that Death Notebook? The Hooded Offender know our names and he can kinda spell so isn't that combo dangerous?" Rainbow Dash asks Twilight.
"That was not the true death notebook" Says Twilight
"Of course, if it was the correct notebook we would have found more apples that have been eaten mysteriously. Also, how it wold normally go is that Twilight would have the correct Death Notebook and she give some pages to somepony, and the hooded offender could not be the second Kira because it would be extremely obvious" Pinkie Pie says causing everypony to look at her weird.
Snapping out of it first, Rarity says,
"Twilight darling, I think you need to rest. You're starting to act... loopy again."
Twilight is about to start, but then she sighs,
"You're right. Come on girls, let's go home."
With that, the Deadly 6 disappear in a mass teleportation spell.
"That mare... is unbelievable hehehhe."
You chuckle slightly before you return to your seat and think to Selena,
Tell me about it… I thought they had actually cracked you
Yeah… hey about earlier…
I am fine-
No you’re not… look, if this is about our pact.
I do not wish to speak about it right now! she angrily huffs.
OK OK, sorry… maybe later
Perhaps…
Yeah… so now that they’re gone, you said you think you know why Nightshade sleeps less now?
Yes… I believe that it is because her mental state and body have finally reached an intersection. Now her body will begin to age naturally.
Oookkkkaaayyy… you think in confusion, Mind breaking that down into stupider words for me?
Selena sighs then begins,
She will now age normally now that her mind has caught up with her body.
I'm still not quite getting it.
Her birth was far from traditional. She came into this world already in the body of a prepubescent foal. Her mind was more advanced than that of an infant would be, as she could speak and mark you as her father, but she was still a newborn. The long rests she took were a way for her mind to better connect with her body, and seeing as how it was already a few years older than her mind, she had to catch up on both sleep and energy.
So that explains her appetite as well?
In the beginning, that is what I believed, but now she just likes to eat. But yes, everytime she awoke, she would gain new knowledge from you and in the depths of her dreams, she would learn.
Whoa… so now that she's caught up she’s gonna be like a normal kid all the time?
You couldn't possibly have thought that parenting would be that easy could you?
I kind of did for awhile... you lament before sighing, So now we know the answer to that mystery, want to explain how you birthed her into that body in the first place, or how I’m her father?
It is, how you ponies say these days, a long story-
OH COME ON! You can’t leave me in the dark like that! Why not? you angrily shout in your mind.
Because we are on a train in public where anyone can overhear you… and what I have to say about a lot of things concerning our union and Nightshade's birth would cause you to make a scene…
Are you serious?!
Absolutely… In time I will tell you. When you and I are alone, away from prying ears, I will tell you everything… please don’t hate me when you finally learn the truth… she says in what you swear is fear and sorrow.
Alright then, you say dropping the subject, Get some rest, you and I are gonna need it, I just know we’re gonna be smashing things soon.
Sounds like fun Selena says... cheerfully?
Get a note from the Doctor
Suddenly, you hear what sounds like thiscoming from The Inventory. You look at it in confusion before you open The Inventory and take out...
The Doctor's Notebook?
It's glowing and vibrating. You look at in confusion before you open it to see that... Derpy has left you a message? You read the note and it says,
Bugze! Emergency!
This is Derpy. Look you need to get to Fillydelphia and NOW! I don't know why, but the Doctor doesn't want you to know this. But you need know this! Something really really bad is gonna happen. Alot of ponies are gonna die. And your going to get blamed for it if you don't do something. I'm begging you, get to Fillydelphia before it's too late!
Good luck, Derpy
You stare at the note in shock, and can't help but think in anger,
There are LIVES at stake and the Doctor still didn't want me to know about it?! Don't worry Derpy,I swear I'll stop them, and then I'll knock some sense into that twin-hearted alien!
Considering how it takes at least 24 hours to get to Appleloosa, it will take at least 2 days to reach the even farther Fillydelphia. You also haven't gotten any sleep since Friday (with the crashed Horde meeting on Midnight (wait a minute, if the meeting was on friday MIDNIGHT does that make it Saturday or Friday?) and and meeting with the mares just then) so fall asleep and wake up when you arrive in Fillydelphia on a... Sunday?
As you settle into your seat to sleep, your mind starts to wander,
Seeing as how a train from Ponyville to Appleloosa usually takes a day, Fillydelphia will have to be at least twice that according to most maps. Also, I haven't gotten any sleep since thursd- Wait, wouldn't that make it Thursday, Friday, or even Saturday night due to how midnight means going into tomorrow?
You just shake your head of the confusion and decide to sleep on it.
TWO DAYS LATER
*Tooooot*
For some reason, Fillydelphia is preparing for some sort of Holiday even though Nightmare Night was a week ago (enter "Black Friday" jokes here)... Huh? You then think, Why do I get the feeling I'm about to stumble into a Shane Block flick?
You're woken up by the conductor's whistle and you wake up and see... Fillydelphia half-covered in holiday decorations? You stare at all the decorations from out your window and you can't help but think,
Dang... I must've been REALLY tired. And why does it look like I stumbled into a Shane Block flick? Wasn't it already Nightmare Night just a week ago?
You yawn and say to yourself,
"You know what, I'm still tired from that wake up call so I better rest my eyes..."
You close your eyes and are about to nap, when you hear,
As you drift to sleep, you hear a conversation from outside your door. “They were here, the Tyrants guard dogs. They were here with him…” one voice says “Keep an eye on him, and send a letter to the leader…better safe than sorry.”
Two stallion voices,
“-two days ago, they were here."
"They?"
"The Tyrant's guard dogs. They were here with him…”
“Keep an eye on him while I deliver the message to leader… better safe than sorry.”
Your eyes shoot open as you see two beefy-looking stallions. One was walking away while the other is standing guard and looking in your general direction... You see your symbol on the backs of their leather jackets and after a few moments, you immediately putt two and two together. You glare at the stallions and think,
You glare at the stallions and think, This could be useful...
Dare I ask how? Watch and learn... You walk up to the beefy stallion and shove him. Hard. He turns around and glares at you. "What are you thinking?" What are you thinking?! You smirk at the stallion. "Your inferior clan is dead." He blinks. "What?" What? "The Lin Kuei have triumphed! You will all now submit to our Cyber Initiative. And our party hats!" He blinks again. You step forward and glare into his eyes. "Soon, the whole world will feel the wrath of our robot party ninjas. You will dance screaming." "What the buck are you on about?" The buck are you on about? "BANANA PHONE!" you scream and then storm away, leaving a bewildered henchstallion behind. So... should I ask, or... do you even HAVE an explanation for that? Someone already sent a message, right? Well, now he has something else to report. I'm a raving lunatic. Yes, but what was the point of that display? I just told you. Now he's going to report everything I said, and the guy who thinks I'm working with the Tyrant's Lap Dogs will look like an idiot for thinking that. And then... You were ACTING?! Of course I was! Did you really think that... you're mocking me. And it only took you ten seconds this time. Well done!
You glare at the beefy Horde stallions ahead of you on the stopped train and think,
This could be useful...
Dare I ask how? Selena asks,
Watch and learn...
You walk up to the beefy stallion and shove him into a seat. Hard.
He bolts back up out of the seat in a rage and barks,
"What the buck are you thinking?!"
You smirk at the stallion and say,
"Your inferior clan is dead."
He blinks and blankly says,
"What?"
I am confused as well...
"The Lin Kuei have triumphed! You will all now submit to our Cyber Initiative. And our party hats!"
He blinks again.
You step forward and glare into his eyes,
"Soon, the whole world will feel the wrath of our robot party ninjas. You will dance screaming."
"What the buck are you on about?"
I find myself agreeing with the minion.
"BANANA PHONE!" you scream before storming away, leaving a bewildered henchstallion behind.
So... should I ask, or do you even HAVE an explanation for that?
He was told to leave a message, right? Well, now he has something else to report.
Yes, but what was the point of that display?
I just told you. Now he's going to report everything I said, and the guy who thinks I'm working with the "Tyrant's Lap Dogs" will look like an idiot for thinking that. And then...
You were ACTING?! she declares in disbelief.
Of course I was! Did you really think that... you're mocking me.
And it only took you ten seconds this time. Well done! Selena snarks.
You mumble in annoyance at Selena's insult at your intelligence as you walk out of the train onto the train station, but then suddenly think...
Do an Inventory check (which, in retrospect, you should have done that on the train).
You know what? I haven't checked The Inventory in a long time. And since I'm pretty sure this is the calmest I'm gonna be while I'm in this town, I might as well check it now..
With that thought you sit down in one of the train station benches and look into the Inventory. You have;
Brown pouch with 45 Bits in it Your awesome hooded black coat "El Hunko" suit Your favorite Stetson "How to be A Gentle Colt 101" book "Kung-Fu For Dummies" book All Four Sherclop Holmes Novels and all fifty-six short stories Used History Textbook "Animals, Nature, and You" book Patching supplies (Vise-Grips, several rolls of duct tape, and several cans of WD-40. Never leave home without them) List of all your powers and spells Note with your debt to The Doctor Nightshade's crayon drawing of you Magic black staff with a red crystal on top of it Pink "Lover's Jewel" Necklace Orange Bandanna Purple Top Hat Knock-out Luna Plushie TARDIS-blue Pen Inter-Dimensional Notebook 3 Pre-prepared Salads 3 Cans of Broccoli Cheese Soup 3 Cans of Tomato Cream Soup 3 Boxes of Crackers 6 carrots 15 Granola bars 12-pack of Water bottles 1 Can of powdered milk "Alien" & "Aliens" double feature reel "Coltmmando" film reel "Die Hoof" film reel "Death Notebook" anime (Neighponese animated) serial reels "Full Crystal Alchemist" anime serial reels "Seikrei" anime serial reels "Element Manipulation: Vol 4. Air" "Psychology of Dreams" "Old Pony Legends" Ponyville Library Card
You blink in surprise and think,
Luna, that's ALOT of stuff. I better do some cleaning later...
Nodding your head at your thought, you get up and walk out of the train station. As you start humming the theme from Fresh Prince and stroll down the boulevard taking in the sights...
As you exit the train station, you start humming the the theme from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and stroll down the boulevard taking in the sights. Selena: You are being followed I hope you realized. Bugze: Really?! *start turning your head to see behind you when- Selena: STOP! If he realizes that you know, he may start running. Lead him into a dark alley and try to interrogate him there. Bugze: Alright, but how am i going to lure him in with out alerting him or giving him time to run back? I can't just walk on walls like Spidermare. I'm not that kind of bug...am I? You realize that even in your childhood, you never tried to walk up walls. You file this thought away for a later time when you are not trying to stop a revolution from happening
You are aware that you are being followed, right? Selena warns
"Really?!" you say as you start to turn your head-
STOP! Selena interrupts causing you to stop turning,
If he realizes that you're aware of his stalking, he may retreat. You should lure him into a dark alley and then try to interrogate him there.
Alright, but how am i going to lure him in with out alerting him or giving him time to run back? I can't just walk on walls like Spider-mane. I'm not that kind of bug... am I?
You realize that even in your childhood, you never tried to walk up walls. You file this thought away for a later time when you are not trying to stop a revolution from happening and you continue walking and think,
Wait, why is this guy still following me? I made myself look like a raving lunatic, so he should have left me alone. Yet he's still following me. Huh... I guess the ponies here are really paranoid or something like that.
With that thought, you decide to ignore your follower/stalker for now until you can think of someway to covertly get rid of him or interrogate him. As you walk around, you start to notice all the pretty decorations being hung around the city. You swear you've seen decorations like this before, but where... *ding*
You know what Hearth's Warming Eve the holiday is (you have seen Die Hoof and Lethal Armament hundreds of times), but seeing how it's mainly a pony holiday, changelings never really got into the holiday other than as an excuse to steal even more love and presents.
"Now I remember!"
You say to yourself out loud before thinking,
These are a Hearth's Warming Eve decorations! Wow, they look alot prettier in real life then they do in the "Die Hoof" and "Lethal Armament" movies (which I've seen dozens of times each).
You smile brightly as you look at some of the pretty lights going on in off in front of some of the stores, but then your smile darkens as you think,
Of course us changelings never got into it since it was a pony holiday, although I know for a fact that other species celebrate it too. Well... at least they do in movies! Changelings, on the other hoof, just use this holiday to steal love and presents. Sometimes I'm ashamed to be one. Look at these ponies, they shouldn't be kidnapped and then be replaced for the entire holiday...
Your smile brightens ounce again as you see a couple and their filly smiling and laughing while looking though one of the shop windows. You then gain a look of determination as you think,
All the more reason I need to stop this revolution before it's too late. I won't be able to live with myself if these ponies got hurt because of some idiot wanting to rid the world of Celestia in my name...
With that thought, you continue to take in the sights of the town with a determined stride in your walk, but you stop mid-step when a thought hits you,
Wait... it was only Nightmare Night a week ago, why are these ponies putting up decorations now?
As if to answer your question, a piece of paper smacks into your face. You yelp in surprise, before you take off the paper and see that it is a part of a newspaper called The Fillydelphia Inquirer...
See a newspaper article about Princess Celestia declaring that Hearth's Warming Eve will officially come early this year (the gossip column claims that Princess Luna had so much fun at Nightmare Night that she begged Princess Celestia to make the next holiday (a.k.a. what is essentially her first Christmas in a millennium) come sooner).
To summarize; the newspaper reads that today is Sunday and that Princess Celestia declared that Hearth's Warming Eve will come early this year (the gossip column claims that because Princess Luna had so much fun at Nightmare Night, she begged Princess Celestia to make Hearth's Warming Eve come sooner).
Can she even do that? you think in confusion, I thought Hearth's Warming Eve happened 2 months from Nightmare Night for some reason? Oh well, can't argue with a princess. Sure, you can falcon punch, no shadow kick, and fight to the brink of exhaustion a princess, but for some reason, you just can't argue with one.
With that thought in mind, you continue to look around (still ignoring your beefy stalker). As you look at all the shops around you, you see some food stores having some sales, but you choose to ignore them because...
Wander around Fillydelphia while being aware of the beefy Horde Stallion following you. You already have quite a bit of food to sustain you so you don't need to spend any money on- "Oooooo, Fillydelphian cuisine platter for 4 bits!" And you just spent four bits on a meal of Filly cheesesteak hoagie, potato candy, and a glass of soda water. (41 Bits remaining)
You figure you have plenty of food in the Inventory so there's no need to spend any more of your limited bits on-
"Oooooo, Fillydelphian cuisine platter for 4 bits!"
...And you just spent four bits on a meal of Filly cheeseshroom hoagie (since Ponies are herbivores, they use fried mushrooms instead of steak pieces), potato candy, and a bottle of black cherry soda.
*41 Bits remaining*
You continue walking around the city after that delicious meal, but you remember that you have someling following you. Looking behind yourself discretely, you see that the buff stallion is still in fact following you. You sigh in annoyance and think,
Luna, I need to think of a way to grab this jerk, but there're ponies EVERYWHERE standing in lines waiting to buy things for 50% off and…WAIT!
"IS THAT VIDEO STORE SELLING ENTIRE SERIALS AND FILMS FOR ONLY 2 BITS!?" You yell as you dash over to and look in the window and see some great deals.
“Oh Sweet Luna! Hoof of the North Star, Full Crystal Alchemist: Sisterhood, The Blood and Ice Cream trilogy, Classic Doctor Whooves, New Who, The Evil Dead Trilogy, Citizen Mane, The Star Wars Collection, BATMANE THE ANIMATED SERIES, THE LAST SPELLBENDER (serial, not the Luna-awful film)!!!! ALL FOR 2 BITS!” you nerd out in ecstasy.
“I MUST HAVE IT ALL!!!” you yell as you rush into the store, grab all the movies, and stand behind about 50 other ponies.
I believe we have more pressing matters at the moment, or did you forget that wall-eyed mare’s warning? Selena reminds you.
“B-b-but…2 bits…my shows…awesomeness…” you pathetically say.
She sighs then continues,
So you’d rather have your… surprisingly entertaining stories than stop mass amounts of murder and mayhem?
"..."
“No…” you say dejectedly as you sigh.
Sure these are great deals, but you came to stop a disaster. If only you could have both... she says the last part in a hinting tone.
“I want both…” you whine, oblivious to her implings. "But the stupid ponies at the front keep asking the sales stallion stupid questions."
Then simply take the stories and move on
I can’t do that! you mentally exclaim.
Why not?
Because it’s illegal.
Really? You're already the most wanted creature in Equestria. Who is going to be able to stop you if you do?
Not the point, stealing is wrong!
You’ve stolen before, don’t even pretend you don’t remember your brief reign over the mongrels.
That was… different… I’m not doing it now, seeing as how I have the bits… you try to justify.
You are such a hypocrite… also we do not have the time to wait in this accursed line.
“I know but…” you start but are interrupted by an argument ahead of you,
“Hey that’s my game!” cries one stallion.
“I had my hooves on it first!” cries another.
They both are pulling back and forth on a gaming console that’s only 20 bits, until one slips and accidentally knocks a Mare’s collection down.
“Get your hooves off my things!” she cries and slaps the stallion, causing him to bump into another. This starts a chain reaction of bumping that causes a brawl to erupt in front of you.
“…Well that’s convenient.” you comment as you walk up to the (surprisingly calm) cash register pony.
“You seem rather calm about this.” you say to him.
“This happens all the time during Black Weekend.” he says unenthusiastically,
Ohhhhhh... you think as you remember the horror stories other changelings would tell about a scary time that turns nice weak ponies into savage beasts that would trample each other over a reduced-priced toy.
“So will this be all for you?” the cash register pony says, interrupting your thoughts.
“Eyup”
He rings up you order as the mob continues to fight. He then says,
"That'll be 200 Bits."
Your eyes bulge as you exclaim,
"200 Bucking Bits?! The deal said it was just TWO!!!"
"What? Oh yeah... the janitor knocked off the zeroes by mistake." The pony says flatly.
Buck you lady luck... you think as you leave the reels there and leave the store empty-hooved.
As you walk the streets, you realize you've lost your tail.
Guess I must've lost him in that ruckus. you think before you see several other ponies brawling, and buying things in the various shops around the city.
“Yeesh, don’t see how ponies can possibly be hurt anymore after all this…”
I know right? It’s as if that chaotic fool Discord orchestrated this. Selena adds.
You grit your teeth in anger at his name as you mentally say,
Hey Selly?
She sighs in annoyance at your nickname,
Yes?
Remember that whole no killing rule?
Of course I do…she responds with agitation.
Well if he gets out again, he doesn’t count.
…Very well then…if that is what you wish... she says in a stilted tone.
Trying to shake your mind of dark thoughts, you see some pretty famous steps leading up to a statue of a stallion in a hoody with his arms raised in the air in triumph. Deciding to imitate one of your favorite movie moments, you run up the steps and imitate the statue while you hum the Rocky Theme aloud.
You feel better for doing that, but that "better" lasts until you see the stallion from before… but he doesn't see you as you quickly hide behind the statue.
As you hide you see a green bottle beneath Rocky’s hooves that has a picture of an Armadillo on it.
“You have found Armored Shell…Physical and Magical Damage is now reduced by 50%” a voice says.
You just shrug and place it in your inventory. You don’t feel like downing it now as you are currently hiding, but it may come in handy later. You then see the stallion heading towards the docks, so you follow him.
After tailing him into an abandoned alleyway, you look both ways before dashing into the alleyway and quickly changing into your faceless Hood and this is where you strike. You grab the henchpony by his jacket and slam him hard against the alley-wall and hold him up by his throat.
“Where is it?! Where’s the Trigger! Why do you want to kill me! I am the Night! Where is she! What do the numbers mean? Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego! What country are you from?" you growl unintelligibly,
“What?” the stallion asks in terror.
"What" ain't no country I've ever heard of. They speak Equestrian in What?"
"What?" the stallion repeats.
"Equestrian, motherbucker! Do you speak it?"
"What?!"
He's feigning ignorance. Selena chimes in, I recommend shoving the Pear of Anguish-
"What?!" you say in disbelief before you realize what you said out-loud and think in annoyance,
Great, now I'm doing it...
The flesh is weak and the mind is strong, but torture the flesh and you destroy the mi-
Woah, whoa, WHOA!!! I only need to scare him!
Pain IS scary.
You cough and clear your throat,
“Ahem, sorry, had something in my throat… Now we're all adults here. Let's not lie to each other. It'll just lead to tragedy for your limbs. I know you're working for the Horde and I also know that you guys are planning on starting some trouble. Now if you tell me what I need to know, I might not murder you in the face. Got it?”
"How would you know that you Tyrant lover!"
"I have no love for the False Goddess of the Sun, but neither do I for pretenders to my cause..." *snap* you menacingly growl as your eyes glow orange.
The stallion gasps as you continue,
"So I'll ask again, what are you all planning?"
“I-It’s you! It really is you isn’t it? The Hooded Offender!” he says awestruck.
“Well ya, no duh, but answer my question” you huff.
“You have come to lead us in our time of triumph! Flag Burner will be pleased!”
“Oh you think so huh? Well we’ll just see about…”
LOOK OUT!!!Selena screams.
“Huh…” you say before you feel a needle inserted into your neck and you stumble around and start losing consciousness.
You hear the conversation continue between the stallion you interrogated and whoever injected you.
“You Fool, this is the Offender!”
“Why would he harm his own horde?”
“I don’t know, but I saw into his eyes, it’s him”
“I… uh oh…” *thud*
LA LA LAND
As you float around in la la land, you can't help but sigh and say in annoyance,
"Please don't tell me this is where I end up every time I get knocked unconscious. Cause if so then I'm gonna really hate having to see this shade of pink every time."
It's true, the creepy pink color of la la land is really annoying.
"I quiet like the color actually."
You turn around to see Selena walking towards you. As she does, you can't help but ask,
"Ummm, now that we're here, I have a few questions about your powers." you say
"What questions?" Selena answers
"Well... You have some of the powers of Luna, and because you live in my body, that means I have some of your power. And since Nightshade is my daughter" you begin,
"Yes, and?"
"Can you and Nightshade dreamwalk?" you finally ask.
"...What?" she asks in confusion.
"Well... from what I know Luna can walk in the dreams of others and... You did not think about that before, right?" you ask.
Before she can answer, you suddenly find yourself in the middle of a great mass of water, with some strange version of the deadly six and Spike that are singing like nothing.
"Shoo-Beee-Dooo-Beeee-Doooo" they began to sing.
Suddenly Luna appears from what seems to be a big hole in the sky,
"Tennant, we have to talk with you about something..." Luna says as she descends.
Before you can say anything, Nightshade appears in front of you as well from another hole.
"Oh, Hi daddy" Nightshade says when she sees you.
"How could thou enter in dreamscape?" Luna ask in shock
"Dreamscape? As in... Dreamwalking?" you ask as Nightshade thinks,
"Well... I was with the Crusaders, but wanted to see you, and before I knew it, poof I'm here." Nightshade says
Luna facehoofs,
"Never mind, this is probably all just part of your dream anyway. But enough stalling, we need to tell thou something very important" Luna says,
"What?" you ask in concern, but before she can speak again...
REALITY
You suddenly wake up in a dusty room, and you see a stallion with a maid uniform.
You see that you're tied to a chair with a table in front o you, and whoever tied it did a good job, cause you can't even move your hooves a single inch. The stallion in the maid uniform notices that you're awake, and smiles before saying,
"Ah, my lord your awake. I shall go and fetch my master for you. He will be very pleased to know that your awake!"
With that the stallion... skips away and out a door you can't see. You look at were the stallion was before mumbling insanely,
"Oh Luna, I'll never get that image outta of my head. Why was he wearing that, why why why why why why why why wh-"
Snap out of it you fool! If you don't calm down we might not make it out of this situation.
You start to calm down and are about to respond to Selena, when you hear a door open. You look around for the door, but you still can't find it anywhere. You then notice on how dark the room actually is, and you can't help but shout,
“Where the buck am I?” “You are home sir, amongst your horde.” A stallion’s voice comes from the darkness. “Who are you?” “They call me Flag Burner…and can I just say, it’s an honor to meet you sir." He says as he walks to the table.
“Where the buck am I?”
“You are home sir, amongst your horde.” A stallion’s voice comes from the darkness.
“Who are you?”
“They call me Flag Burner…and can I just say, it’s an honor to meet you sir." He says as he walks to the table.
Uh oh. Checklist; 1; get yourself out of the ropes. 2; Stop the revolution (by enforcing the facts upon FB if necessary) 3; Get yourself something to eat. Who knows how long it's been since you last had the chance to eat (and how long it's been since these guys knocked you out)?
You still feel really drugged and weak, and your muscles seem lax. All you can really do is look at his guy as he takes a seat in front of you. The mare stands by his side with a wide smile on her face. Flag Burner smirks but his eyes seem serious as he sits across from you.
As you sit in the dark room tied to the chair, your muscles feel lax and your vision is still a bit blurry, so all you can really do is look at this guy in black as he takes a seat in front of you. The mare stands by his side with a wide smile on her face and Flag Burner smirks too, but his eyes seem serious as he sits across from you. It's a rather unsettling combination overall...
Meanwhile, you're thinking,
Wh-How- What do I do? Whatdoido- FOCUS BUG! For now, just breathe and make a checklis- Oh Luna, that bookworm's OCD is rubbing off on m- GAH! FOCUS BUG!
With that you take a deep breathe and think,
1. Get yourself out of the ropes. 2. Stop the revolution even if it means Falcon 3. Get something to eat. Sure, I ate before going sleepy-bye, but who knows how long it's been? 4; Check out surroundings for escape route.
Mentally nodding at your mental checklist, you move your eyes around the room since you still feel weak from the drugging, and your eyes widen in shock slightly as you see,
Notice that the Inventory's in a corner of the room being held by one of the beefy stallion from the train.
The Inventory in the corner of the room being held by one of...
What's his name again? Blag Barter? Fart Farter? Time Turner? Flag... Burner! Yeah, That's this idiots name!
Right, Flag's henchmen from the train. But you start to growl as you see something you really don't like...
The Inventory is bucking open!
You glare hatefully (well, as hateful as you can in your current state) at the henchmen holding your Inventory as you think,
That motherbucker better not have touched anything in it or there will be pain! Noling touches The Inventory!
That, and your other persona's clothes are in there. If these fools discover that you have a connection with the Elements with those clothes...
That too... you mentally ad uncertainly.
You hear what sounds like a hoof colliding with a face as Selena says,
You are such a idiot...
Your about to retort to her comment, but stop when you see Flag Anarchist and the other mare looking at you strangely. Thinking quickly you say (but still weak from the drugs)...
You begin to speak, even though you still are dazed. “An honor? You drugged me…tied me up…”' "Well, of course I did," he says with a smirk, "We're mighty cautious around here, if you hadn't noticed." "Well as I'm clearly The Hooded Offender, I guess that makes me your boss, so off with the ropes" you growl. "Ah ah ah," he says with a hoof wave, "That would be pretty reckless wouldn't it?" "What?" "Well, I can't just release someone who claims to be the Offender. Heck, you were brought in passed out." "What? Then what was that whole 'honor to meet you thing?' all about?" "Well if you are the True Offender, then it's my true greeting to you, if not, well...I like being theatrical to my enemies," he says with a scary glint in his eyes. "So...show me the light, how do I know you're really him?" he asks.
“An horer? You ragged me and tayed me alp…”'
"Well, of course I did," he says with a smirk, "We're mighty cautious around here, if you hadn't noticed."
"Wal asi" you quickly shake your head clear of the drugs before continuing, "Well I'm clearly The Hooded Offender, so I guess that makes me your boss, so off with the ropes!" you growl.
"Ah ah ah," he says with a hoof wave, "That would be pretty reckless wouldn't it?"
"What?"
"Well, I can't just release someone who claims to be the Offender. Heck, you were brought in passed out."
"What? Then what was that whole 'honor to meet you thing?' all about?"
"Well if you are the True Offender, then it's my true greeting to you, if not, well... I like being theatrical to my enemies," he says with a scary glint in his eyes before continuing,
"So... show me the light, how do I know you're really him?" he asks as he leans forward on the table.
You look him dead in the eye and say,
"I'm the real Offender, you know why? Cause I say so. I was the monster at the Gala. I was the one who fought Discord to the almost death. I'm the one who went to Appleloosa and stopped the war between the Buffaloes and Ponies. And I'm the one who's gonna paint your fancy black clothes red if you don't untie me now!"
You started to release killer intent during your rant, enough that all the ponies in the room are looking at you in fear or awe and are shaking like crazy. All the ponies... except Flag Burner. He's just giving you a amused smile. A smug, unaffected amused smile. You glare at him and think,
I both hate this guys guts and I am also terrified of how he's shrugging off my killer intent like it's nothing!
Bugze, stay on thy guard. I sense I very... off darkness in him. Do not take him lightly. You hear Selena warn cautiously.
Wasn't planing on it.
After that thought, you hear Flag say in a deadly tone,
"Good show, but that doesn't answer my question..."
He then leans in dangerously towards you and says,
"How... do I know... that you're the real Offender?"
You gulp slightly at his tone, before you get an idea...
Flag Burner asks that you prove that you're the true Hooded Offender. You're about to when you decide to try that "reverse interrogation" trick you've seen in spy movies (a.k.a. trick the interrogator into asking questions that reveal details you didn't know about) This seems to work at first with Flag Burner saying about his plans to... turn everypony into toy zombies?! But then he reveals he was being sarcastic as he's figured out what game you're trying to play. Realizing that your cover's blown *snap*, forcibly knock the chair you're tied to (and yourself) on to it side and quickly "Psycho Crusher" into the stallion in the corner to break the chair and get your Inventory back. Once you've got the Power Glove in hoof, you whirl around ready to incinerate the first pony charging at you... only to see Flag Burner and the others bowing? It turns out to be a test by Flag Burner to see if you're the true Hooded Offender and you pass...
"Well oh shoot!" you say in an (un)convincing manner, "Guess you done and figured me out."
What are you doing! Selena exclaims.
This guy is clearly as unstable as the final round of Jenga so maybe I can trick some info out of him using that "reverse interrogation" thing I've seen in Spy flicks
I'd advise against this game...
Why? This is a ingeniously witty idea!
In a battle of wits, you are obviously and pathetically unarmed...
Can it Nimmy.
*grumble*
During your mental arguing, Flag Burner, the mare, and even the beefy stallion all look at you in confusion before
"Yeah, I'm a spy for her most glorious highness and devourer of cakes, Princess Celestia."
This causes the beefy stallion to come over and whack you on the head with the Inventory.
Is getting beaten part of your plan? Selena deadpan says,
If I just gave in right away, they wouldn't believe me. you mentally tell Selena before Flag Burner asks,
"I'll ask this again, what do you know?"
"Fine fine, I already know all about your plan... to... rob the Equestrian... golden cake icing reserves... with a spirit vine cannon... and a talking obnoxious overly-helpful paperclip! Yeah, that was your diabolical plan! " you hesitantly make up.
"You do know nothing then." Flag Burner scoffs, "Our real plan is to release a long lost spell on this city."
Everypony in the room looks at Flag Burner in confusion as you exclaim in disbelief,
"Say WHAT?!!!"
"Yes, the spell of 'Makus-Uppus' that will turn everypony in Fillydelphia into toy zombies." he says in a deadpan tone which causes everypony else in the room to stop being confused but you miss this as you think,
Luna, this guy is NUTS!!! before asking,
"Really?"
"No you idiot!" he barks as he slams his hooves on the table, "Did you honestly believe I would spill the beans about my plans like some weekend animated serial villain just like that? You think you're the first spy we've caught? Quite a few of them tried that 'reverse interrogation' tactic too, but yours was by far the worst."
"Well I- It- I can't fail all tho- Ah to hay with it."
*snap*
As your eyes glow orange you throw your body weight to the side causing the chair (and you) to fall on it's side with your head pointing towards the beefy stallion holding the Inventory.
"Psycho Crusher!" you exclaim causing you to spin in orange flames towards the beefy stallion like a torpedo while breaking your bonds. Stunned by this suddenly action, the beefy stallion can only watch in shock as you smash him hard into the wall with enough force to leave a dent and leave him unconscious and embedded.
You then quickly try to calm down as you desperately dig through the Inventory,
"Come on, come on... YES!"
You manage to grab and put on the Big Daddy glove and you whirl around yelling,
"BACK THE BUCK OFF! I HAVE A POWER GLOVE AND I KNOW HOW TO... use... it?"
You stare in confusion as all the remaining conscious ponies in the room (Flag Burner and the mare) suddenly start bowing, but before you can asks what's going on, you hear an annoyed voice in your head say,
The Power Glove... really? You named this power weapon out of the stupidest controller in video game history?
What? I love the Power Glove! It's so bad... that it's good!
...Idiot
Before you can respond, Flag chuckles and says,
-Flag Burner chuckles at your surprise. "I'm apologize, my lord, but I had to be sure you were truly the real Offender. Luna knows we've had enough of Solar Flank's impostors come our way." "He's the real thing," the pony you hit moans from the floor. "None of the others hit that hard." Flag Burner looks down at the poor sap. "Coco," he addresses the mare. "You probably want to get him medical attention." -"I must say, my Lord, I'm a huge fan," Flag Burner praises. "As a former member of the guard, detective division, I must say, I investigated you thoroughly and realized that you have really done some incredible things. I am, shamelessly, a huge fancolt." "Um... thanks. I think," you reply.
"I apologize, my lord, but I had to be sure you were truly the real Offender. Luna knows we've had enough of Solar Flank's impostors come our way."
"He's the real thing," the pony you hit moans from the wall. "None of the others hit anywhere near half that hard..."
Flag Burner looks down at the poor sap,
"Coco," he addresses the mare, "You probably want to get him medical attention. Anyway, I must say, my Lord," Flag Burner says as he turns his attention back to you while Coco leaves, "I'm a huge fan," Flag Burner praises,
"I followed your action closely and realized that you have really done some incredible things. I am, shameless to say, a huge fancolt."
"Um... thanks. I think," you reply uncertainly as you cautiously move out of combat stance, but then you realize something,
"Wait... you used your own men as bait to tell if I'm the real me! Why you little-" you say as your eyes continue to glow orange.
Flag then holds his hoof up as he smiles and points at your eyes while saying,
“And there it is…all the proof I needed” he smirks.
“Huh?” you ask bewilderingly.
“Had to see for myself the eyes, and from what I've heard, they only appear when you’re enraged.”
“Ummm… you were doing this on purpose?” you ask.
“Sorry If I was being a might infuriating, I justhad to know for sure. You never can be too careful with Solar Flanks’ spies everywhere. But now I know, and as any good strategist knows; knowing is half the battle…”
You really wanted to shout “GI Jane!” at that moment, but you barely restrain yourself.
“Oh… OK…” you stutter.
Flag Burner sits down back down at the table before offering with a smile,
"Please sir, have a seat, I have much to tell you."
"What? I can actually have a seat and normal conversation without being treated like a freaking criminal? How shocking." you snark as you put the downed chair back up and have a seat.
A look of shame comes over his face as he answers.
“Again, I’m awfully sorry about all this, this is not how I intended this momentous occasion occurring. If it helps any, we also tied you up to keep you from hurting yourself since you kept thrashing in your sleep,” he says with a smile, “As for the whole drugging thing, I deeply apologize for my subordinates, Gun Jumper always acts without thinking and well…” he gestures towards you. “But don’t worry,” he continues “He is being punished for his recklessness.”
“Punished?” you ask.
Burner nods and then whistles,
“Jumper, bring me the Bottle and two glasses.”
You see the stallion in the maid uniform from before grimace and nod before walking over and setting an unlabeled bottle of... whisky? down on the table.
“Thank you Jumper… and isn't there something you would like to say to our guest?”
The stallion turns towards you and says “I’m sorry sir for my reckless actions, please forgive me.”
“Umm…ya…sure…” You say uncertainly as you can tell this stallion is not liking his garb.
Burner nods at this and then says,
“Thank you Gunny, you're dismissed now. Leave that garb in Coco’s lounge, I don’t think she was quite finished with it.”
“Ya, it still needs a few more frills and buttons before I send it out,” says the, now-named, Mare.
As the stallion walks away you only have one thing on your mind.
“What… the…buck… was that all about?” you ask still confused.
“I find that embarrassment is a very effective means of discipline when it comes to your own. It leaves a lasting message far longer than any verbal or physical lashing would. Besides, we’re all one big happy family here, there’s no need for violence over one mistake.”
“Still, kind of messed up.” you counter.
“Well of course it is, his mistake was assaulting YOU of all ponies. Had it been some other mishap, I would have only had him wear a funny hat, we got plenty of those.” Coco nudges his arm after that declaration and pouts,
“I keep telling you Burny, that’s the new style going around.”
“That still don’t stop them from looking funny now does it?” he says with a chuckle.
This causes her to pout more, before he stops laughing,
“Ah come on I was just teasing” he says as he gives her a reassuring arm pat which causes her to smile. He then looks back to you.
“Oh, forgive me sir, this cutie pie here is Coco Pommel, personal tailor to The Fillydelphia Horde and my Second in Command.” he introduces.
“Hello,” she nervously says to you with a slight wave. “I-it’s s-s-such an h-h-HONOR to meet you Mr. Offender… I-I REALLY like your cloak and…”
“You alright Co? You look like you need a breather.” Burner asks with a confused look on his face.
She takes a few deep breaths before looking at you again,
“No I'm fine... Sorry… It’s an honor to meet you sir, if you don’t mind, after we’ve all had a chat, I would like to inspect your cloak more thoroughly, I’ve had to base my designs on blurry photos… if that’s alright with you...” she says with a smile while blinking her eyes sweetly.
Dear Luna, it’s as if someone combined the best qualities of Fluttershy and TackyMcStabFlank. The smile, the voice, those eyes, and who knows what kind of body she’s rocking under that cloak… she’s… she’s…TOO... BUCKING... CUTE…
“Hrgh…” you exclaim as you feel your heart trying to jump against your chest.
“Oh my goodness!!! Are you alright?” Coco exclaims
“Too…cute…” you mumble out.
Coco blushes while Flag Burner simply laughs.
“Hehehehe, here step out for a few Co, give him time to recover.”
She nods and walks off to where Gun Jumper walked off to.
“Yeesh…” you pant, “Warn a guy next time” you scold.
“Sorry, forgot that she has that effect on stallions, although she's normally not so... skittish. But I guess anyone would have jitters meeting you though.” he laughs.
“Tell me about it,” you exclaim, still clutching your chest, "It should be illegal to be that cute..."
BACK IN PONYVILLE
Back in Ponyville Fluttershy sneezes all of a sudden and gets a sudden feeling of dread. “What’s wrong Darling?” asks Rarity. “I don’t know, but it feels as if I was suddenly replaced as a waifu by thousands upon thousands of voices…”
Fluttershy sneezes all of a sudden and gets a sudden feeling of dread,
“What’s wrong Darling?” asks Rarity.
“I don’t know, but it feels as if I was suddenly replaced as a waifu by thousands upon thousands of voices…”
"Uh Darling... your glaring at the wall."
Fluttershy looks at Rarity confused, unknowingly shifting the angry glare to her which causes Rarity to freeze up slightly as Fluttershy says in a innocent voice, "I am? Oh, I'm so sorry. It's just I feel really mad for some reason. I don't know how to describe it... but I think It feels like somepony is taking away my chances of having an adorable bunny that I really want to be around all the time..."
Rarity, ignoring the glare, looks at Fluttershy in confusion before saying,
"Darling, I think we need to take a emergency spa trip, that'll calm you down."
Fluttershy sighs and says,
"Yes... that'll be nice. Oh! And we should bring Nightshade too!"
Unbeknownst to them, a certain spa pony is in the process of destroying a spa room with mud bending while yelling,
"SOMEPONY'S TRYING TO STEAL SOMETHING FROM ME! I JUST KNOW IT! I CAN FEEL IT IN MY LOINS!"
Sadly, Caramel is stuck in said room, hugging the wall for dear life as he shouts,
"I JUST WANTED A GIFT CARD FOR MY SPECIAL SOMEPONY!!!"
MEANWHILE IN OCTAVIA AND VINYL'S HOUSE
Octavia is staring intently at her cello before Vinyl walks. She notices this and asks Octavia in confusion,
"Uh... Tavi, why are you staring at your cello so intently? Did it steal your lunch or something?"
Octavia just shakes her head before she says calmly,
"No, just thinking if it's possible to kill a stallion-stealing mare after having a gut feeling a mare is stealing your stallion."
Vinyl nods her head and says,
"Oh, okay."
She begins to walk away, before spinning around towards Octavia and shouting,
"WAIT, WHAT!?"
MEANWHILE IN THE APPLEFIELD
We see that both Rainbow Dash and Applejack are (yet again) arguing over Tennant and poor Nightshade is standing on the sidelines, having no clue as to what the mares are yelling about,
"HE LIKES ME!"
"NO HE LIKES ME!"
"HE LIKES MY WELL-TONED LEGS!"
"NO, HE THINKS YOU'RE A HILLBILLY FROM DOWN UNDER!"
"YOU WANNA WRASSLE YA FILLYFOOLER!"
"HA! I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY!"
Suddenly, the argument between the two ends as they both shiver a feeling of dread. They look at each other and Rainbow asks,
"Did you feel that?"
"If I reckon that by "that" you mean the feeling that somepony is stealing mah stallion?"
"Truce so we can pound whoever is stealing my stallion?"
Applejack rolls her eyes before saying,
"Truce to be whoever is stealing my stallion."
Rainbow huffs before she flies away, while Applejack heads back towards the farm shouting to Nightshade,
"Come on sugarcube, time to head home!"
Nightshade runs after Applejack saying,
"Yes Miss Applejack" While she's thinking,
Daddy's right. These two mares are really weird...
As Nightshade walks away, she hears disappointed groans coming from a nearby bush. She turns around in confusion before sneaking over to investigate and sees four stallions mumbling in defeat. One says,
"Man, I was hoping they would go into another mud brawl..."
Another stallion pats him on the back and says,
"Next time dude, next time."
Another, bigger stallion says in jealousy,
"Man! That Tennant dude is so lucky. He's got two hot mares fighting over him, and he doesn't even notice!"
Deciding she heard enough, Nightshade clears her throat and says,
"Excuse me."
The stallions slowly turn around and look at Nightshade in confusion. Nightshade then put on a innocent smile and she says,
"Sorry sirs, but it appears you are trespassing on private property, so I'm gonna have to teach you all a lesson..."
That day, various cries of "FALCON KICK!" would echo across Ponyville followed by,
"MY NADS!"
"OHHH... MY MUMMY-DADDY BUTTON!"
"NOT THERE! IN NEED THAT FOR CHILDREN!"
"AHHHHH! THEY ONLY JUST STARTED TO RECOVER AFTER THAT BATH HOUSE INCIDENT!"
“Getting back on track, I’d like to know what you're plan-” you begin.
“Hold up,” he interrupts, “I've just realized something.”
“What?" you ask.
He gives a drum rhythm on the table before holding up his arms with a strange smile on his face.
“We've Got Whiskey,” he says cheerfully.
You just look at him confusedly as he pours himself a glass of the stuff and then pours another glass and sets it in front of you.
“Jonny Trotter Green Label 15 Trottingham Highland malt whisky to be exact. A nature aroma that gives way to honey notes and a crisp saltiness. Normally I'd get plain whisky, but only the good stuff for you sir. Very rare, but soon we’ll all have the good stuff…” he says cryptically with a smile as he takes a drink.
"I don't really feel like a drink, thank you. And can you do something about the lights? It feels like I'm stuck in a black hole."
"Oh, right." He motions to someone behind you and then the warehouse is flooded with light and... it's actually pretty nice looking. Quite a few couches, boards, and even a air of pool tables.
"Whoa... I was kind of expecting this place to be all run down and supervillain-lair looking," you mutter.
“Well, that's the sense we want to instill in nonbelievers. Sorry for the theatrics, but once you call out one of the Tyrant’s watchdogs, you have to be prepared for anything, and that includes false Offenders.”
“Watchdogs?” you ask.
“The 'Reformers', 'Elements of Harmony' or whatever you wanna call them, we all know what they really are, and that Butterfly-flanked tart thinks she knows what’s best…”
Your eyes glow as you realize he’s talking about the rude letter he sent Fluttershy,
“Actually, that’s what I came here to talk to you about...” you say with barely-restrained anger.
“Of course!” he perks up “On to business!”
“Yeah… business… So what are you planning?”
“Well sir, it’s quite simple really, we are going to send a message that no one in this country will soon forget.”
“A message?” you ask.
“Eyup, your message, the message we've all come to follow,” he says as he raises his glass to you.
“Which is?”
“Why, the need to fight the unjust rulers of course, to go against the grain of society and build your own, where all the forgotten little ponies will have their chance to shine… to fix what’s broken…”
“And to do that, you think you need to start a revolution?”
He just gives you a confused look,
“Well of course, the part about fighting the unjust rulers kind of makes the use of violence obvious.”
“So you think that’s my true message is?”
“Well how couldn't it be?” he says with a chuckle, “Each and every one of us here in the Horde were a doormat for the Princess's society in some way. Gun Jumper was an overzealous guard who got in trouble and was fired for trying to do what’s right, Test Tube was an inventor whose devices couldn't revolutionized Equestria, but got ignored by the immortal prom queen dooming his work to forgetfulness, Coco's designs were put down just because she's an Earth Pony, the list goes on and on,” he says as he points to a few ponies in the room.
“That sucks and everything but…” you try to interject.
“Even I had my fair share of abuse…” he scowls before shaking his head and continuing, “We've all been put through the laundry by this so-called 'peaceful and unified society,'" he says mockingly before continuing, "When in actuality, it’s a cruel flimsy world, where those who go against it are labeled villains.”
He looks at you as he says this.
“This is a country run by a mare who not only imprisoned her own sister on the moon for a millennia, but when she came back for rightful vengeance, she was 'Reformed' by her newest weapon” He rants, “Weapons that just so happened to be called the 'Elements of Harmony.' Forcing Harmony and Peace on another is just another word for indoctrination… and wouldn't you know it, immediately after this brainwashing, Princess Luna is allowed to rule again,” he puckers his lips and spits. “It’s all one big hypocrisy…”
That's what I've been saying this whole time, Finally someone understands me! Selena says.
We're here to stop this, remember? you chide.
I know, but you have to admit he raises several valid points.
Okay, yes some of the stuff he says sounds true, but still… I don't want a war started!
She sighs,
Yes Yes, I know, I know… then you best reign him in.
“I’m sorry about all you've been through but-” you begin but get interrupted by Burner continuing,
“And then you came along…” Burner continues.
Uh-Oh. you think.
“Someone who not only just defied the Solar Tyrant and her Harmony goons, but actually got away with it… multiple times,” he says with a smile. “I read about your exploits, and it moved me. It showed that somepony could take the fight to the higher ups and that they weren't invincible. That even so-called gods can bleed...”
“Well, most of the time I was just kind of trying to run away and…” you try to justify, but he keeps going.
“We all were inspired… and I brought us all together in your name… and soon, everyone else will know this truth, that a New Equestria will dawn! And this dawn will be baptized in the blood of-”
“BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT I WANT!” you roar in the Royal Canterlot Voice as you slam your hooves into the table..
It becomes quiet in the room after you yell that. Flag Burner has a very confused look on his face,
“What?” he asks in disbelief.
“I don’t want a Revolution!” you insist.
“B-But…”
“Look, I'm grateful that you all look up to me and stuff, but come on, a Bucking War? Are you serious?”
“…” Flag looks speechless.
“A lot of ponies will get hurt if that happens, that is not what I want!”
“Y-you hurt ponies all the time…” Flag Burner rationalizes.
“Well yeah, but they usually start it, and I only do it because I literally have no other choice at the time.”
“I… you…” Flag Burner continues to stammer.
“Look, just call the whole thing off, whatever spectacle or event you have planned, don’t go through with it. A lot of ponies will lose their lives and I don’t want their blood on my hooves… you got it?”
“B-bu… sir, you must still be suffering from the effects of the drug, maybe you should sit down and think before…”
“I don’t need to, this is what needs to happen.” you firmly say.
He just stares at you now as if you're a puzzle.
“Sir… have a drink, I think you need to calm down,” he says as he inches your glass closer to you.
“I don’t need a drink I need you to…”
“Please sir, just drink it…”
“I…”
“Please!”
“Grr!!! Alright fine,” you roar as you slam back the liquid just to shut him up, and it burns, a lot.
“Ugh… There! Are... you…” you stop mid sentence as suddenly you are really tired and your head slams into the table. You try to speak, but everything is coming out in gurgles,
Oh my me, are you serious? Selena says.
“Flag! What’s going on?” you hear someling ask.
“Somethings not right here, the Offender is speaking nonsense…” you hear him reply back.
“So you drugged him… again?”
“I didn't but it seems he can't hold his liquor too well… Anyway, something fishy is going on here and I don’t like it. He said he didn't want the Revolution to occur”
“Umm… what if that’s really what he wants Burny?” asks Coco
“Impossible! That can’t be it! Here, take him down to the holding cell… I’m going to get to the bottom of this…”
You see him pick up your Inventory and start rummaging through it as you're carried away.
“Don… touch... stuff….” You drugged-ly say.
Flag Burner pulls out your "Baker Sylvester Tennant" outfit and the beefy stallion from the train says something to him you can't hear in your drugged state, but you guess that it has to do with you meeting the Deadly Six on the train. Before you pass out completely, you say loud enough for Flag to hear (who walked over to you in surprised of seeing your Doctor Outfit),
"You... you just bucked with the wrong... the wrong bug... Ohhhh pretty stars...ZzzzZZzzz."
IN LA LA LAND
You look around the horrid shade of pink that is La La land, and you see Selena looking at you with a blank look before saying,
"You... You are just..."
She then walks over to you and bonks you on the head ("Ow.") while saying in a monotone voice,
"Imbecilic."
You rub your head in pain as you say,
"Well, next time we get captured by crazy cultists, I'll be sure to not drink anything by force... so got any games around here?"
Before she could answer...
WHEN YOU WAKE UP
When you awaken again, you are lying on a cot, and in a dark room, and your limbs are shackled. You look around scared, only to see Coco who is sitting next to you with a damp rag and wiping your forehead.
You wake up and find that your limbs are shackled to a cot in a dark cell. You look around only to see Coco sitting next to you and wiping your (still fortunately cloaked) forehead with a damp rag. Noticing that you're awake, Coco gives you a sad smile and says,
"Oh, nice to see that you're awake my lord, how are you doing?"
You stare at her for a few minutes as you think,
Lady Luck... Buck you. Just buck you. Now how am I supposed to get outta this mess? Maybe... maybe I can try to talk her into saving me? She didn't look like she liked what Flag was doing, so maybe I can reform her. Or get her to see how crazy this is and help me escape. That works too. Well... better try it out.
With that thought, you open your mouth and say...
What do you do?
Episode 50: Join The Light Side Coco... We Have Cake! (Die Horde Part 2)
So you are once again tied down. You start trying to get out when you hear a strange voice in your head. Bugze used Struggle....It's not very effective. Choosing to ignore that, you start to think rationally. Ok. let's see here. I'm tied up... again.... *sigh* why do I keep having this happen to me? It's almost as bad as winding up in the Everfree....Almost. Selena: Why don't you get that mare to get you out? Bugze: Oh yeah. How could I forget she was here? She's right in front of me.
As you open your to say something... you suddenly forget what you were doing. Shrugging it off, you start to struggle against your chains and make no progress, but suddenly stop as a strange voice in your head says,
Bugze used Struggle... It's not very effective.
Choosing to ignore that, you start to think rationally.
Ok. let's see here. I'm tied up... again. *sigh* Why do things like this keep happening to me? It's almost as bad as winding up in the Everfree... Almost.
Why don't you get that mare to get you out?
You look in front of you in surprise to see that Coco is indeed in front of you giving you a confused look. You get the feeling to facehoof yourself, but can't because of these stupid chains as you then think in annoyance,
Oh yeah... How could I forget she was here? She's right in front of me!
With that thought you ask,
Coco blushes as she said Flag Burner told her to watch over you and do anything necessary to help regain your memory. She then takes her cloak off and starts snuggling against you... *spurt*
"Hey uh... Coco was it? Mind letting me outta these chains? I've got a crazy psycho who's Tartarus-bent on bringing war to Equestria to pound some sense into and make cry for his mommy."
You then give her a innocent smile, which just causes her to look at you strangely before saying,
"I'm sorry my lord, but Master Flag Burner has given me strict instructions to watch over you."
She then blushes intensely and says with a stutter,
"H-he also to-told me to do any-anything necessary to he-help you re-regain your... me-memory."
What in the name of Luna does she mean by-Holy...
Coco then begins to... take off her cloak?
*spurt*
Blood shouts out of your nose as her cloak hits the ground and you now see Coco without her cloak on.
Wait, why am I aroused by this? Sure, she's cute, but ponies normally don't wear cloth-
Your thoughts are interrupted when Coco climbs onto your cot, wraps her arms around you, and starts to... snuggle? You try to keep a straight face while blood gushes out of your nose as you think,
Save it for marriage- She smells nice, NO! Save it for marriage. Save it for- Luna, she feels soooo goo- GAH! Need distractions, NOW! Coco is cute, but she doesn't have Octavia's eyes or Vinyl's shapely flanks or Applejack's well-toned legs... or Rainbow Dash's athletic build... or Aloe's oil-covered nubile body... And she definitely doesn't feel as good or look as supermodel-sexy as Flutters- NO! BAD BUG!!!
With that in mind, you reluctantly say,
"Uh... Coco, not that I'm not enjoying this, but could you give me a teeny-tiny amount of space?"
"Ok..." Coco says dreamily as she stops snuggling. With her off you say,
“Ok, now take a few steps back cause I'm gonna wreck it!”
“You can’t break those cuffs” Coco tells you as she climbs off your cot and takes a few steps back, but you begin squirming around, groaning,
“Grrrraaaaagghhhh!!!!”
And nothing happens, aside from your limbs hurting.
Hey, give me some help here, I need some nightmare fuel to get out! you mentally shout to Selena
As you wish. she says before an image of Granny Smith and your Grandbuggy making out appears in your mind.
“OH DEAR LUNA WHY!!!” you scream out loud, startling Coco.
You said you wanted 'Nightmare fuel', so I obliged.
Not like that! I need the cloak and tails!
I know what you meant, but I am being suppressed at the moment by some strange force so I cannot unleash it.
What? Then why did you…
I'm still punishing you for those perverted thoughts you had in response to the (admittedly adorable) mare's promiscuity and for being so stupid as to get us into this mess!
Okay, I’m sorry! Yeesh, can we move on! We’re kind of in danger here!
No, we are merely in distress. If they wanted you dead, they would have killed you already. Just stand ready, wait for your opportunity, and stop thrashing around. You shall dislocate your shoulder otherwise. she chides.
You stop thrashing and catch your breath,
“Um... I told you you couldn't. These are reinforced, magic-dampening manacles so only the key can open them.” Coco says matter of factly before she climbs back on and continues snuggling you.
This again?- Luna, does she feel good- GAH!
Having enough of this you shout,
"Stop it!"
Coco stops snuggling with you and looks at you in confusion (with a crimson red face) and asks,
"Stop wh-what?"
You give her a cold glare and say,
"While I honestly don't mind the snuggling and you are really cute..."
She blushes even redder at this complement as you continue,
"You don't need to do this! Is this what you want?! To be nothing but a madpony's pawn?! Think Coco! He's going to kill millions! All just because he thinks it's the right bucking thing to do for my vision! It's not my vision Coco! It's bucking not! I don't want millions of ponies dead in my name! I don't want Solar Flank off the throne!"
Maybe some new rules and actually punishing ponies for doing idiotic things like hypnotizing a whole town *coughTwilightcough*, but I digress. you mentally comment as you continue,
"All I want is to protect those who can't protect themselves. To be the big guy who stands up for the little guys! To be the guy who wipes out the darkness in others hearts and wipes out all evil! I'm the Hooded Bucking Offender, and I will-"
"Flag Burner's orders," a deep voice says, "From now on, nopony talks to the prisoner until he does."
"A necessary precaution, my dear Coco," Flag Burner says as he steps into the cell, "Who knows how many more lies the Solar Tyrant has implanted in his head? Leave us."
Coco chews her lip in hesitation...
"NOW!" Flag Burner roars causing Coco to flinch in fear before she jumps off your cot and she and the stallion leave.
You try to speak, but the drug has you in a stupor as Flag Burner grins with a malicious glint in his eye,
"It will wear off soon enough. Don't worry, I'll send Coco back in when I'm through."
Monologue time... Selena comments.
Aghgblurgh... tchalal... batuset
That... is quite the drug they have.
Euth(*)
Flag Burner begins to pace beside your cot as he rants,
"You are the true Offender. I can't deny that. I also don't actually think you're brainwashed. From my experience, those guys usually have a resistance for drugs."
He stops by your head.
"So how do I explain what I just saw? What I just heard? The false goddess's lapdogs think of you as a friend. They were willing to drop their business in Ponyville and follow you here on a whim."
The malice in his eyes grows into a fire.
"Are you their friend? Have you betrayed yourself? Maybe you're just tricking them. Maybe they don't know your true name. I am familiar with deception, but that doesn't change what you said! YOU DON'T WANT REVOLUTION! Do you understand what that means? I don't think you do!"
He grabs your head and glares into your face,
"You don't understand what this means! You don't understand what's at stake! I need you! I- YOU CAN'T BACK OUT NOW!"
After a few moments of heavy breathing after that rant, his face cracks into a smile, and he gives a joyless laugh,
"You think I'm insane, don't you? That's why you came here. That's why you thought you could stop me. You know what you're thinking; 'Flag Burner is a dangerous fool.' 'Flag Burner is nothing but a bloody terrorist.' 'Flag Burner is a nopony.'"
He knof wong... you druggedly mentally comment as he shakes his head,
"I was going to become you. That's why I brought Coco into the fold. She was going to make me an identical cloak, and the Hooded Offender would make his glorious return to make goddesses bleed! And now here you are."
He grins maniacally.
"You might think I'm nothing but a warmongering anarchist, but I assure you, I so much more than that! A revolution needs a symbol so I am giving you one last chance to be that symbol. If you refuse, I will leave you alone and forgotten here while I wear that cloak in your place!"
He leans in and growls through clenched teeth,
"Do. Not. Doubt me."
After that threat (which compared to some of the other threats you've had, wasn't much... word wise anyway as tone-wise you wanted to wet your cloak) your eyes glow in anger as the drug somehow leaves your system as you shout,
You’ve had enough of this kind of talk, so you decide to lay into him. “Betrayed Myself?! What kind of idiot are you? I never wanted a freaking war, NEVER! So what you’re really asking me to say is that I haven’t betrayed YOU and your stupid cause. Well guess what, I’m not on your side. Now get me out of here and stop all this nonsense before I make you pay!” Your eyes glow in anger as you finish that statement.
*snap*
“Betrayed Myself?! What kind of an idiot are you? I never wanted a freaking war, NEVER! So what you’re really asking me to say is that I haven’t betrayed YOU! Well guess what, I’m not and never will be on your side! Now get me out of here and stop all this nonsense before I crush your eyeballs and paint this city with the juices!”
Flag Burner looks at you in what looks like loss before his features grow grim,
“That’s not what I wanted you to say…” he says flatly.
“Well too bad Burny, but that’s what I got to sa-gragh!” you are cut short when he places his arm across your throat and presses down.
His facial expression hasn't changed, but his eyes are burning with fury as he looks into yours, and it is terrifying.
“This is not how it was supposed to go…” he says again in his monotone.
You can’t reply as he's choking you, but you can still breathe, so you guess he’s making a point.
“You were supposed to lead us... to stand with us as we changed the world...” he then scowls at you, “You weren't supposed to grow weak.”
“mm... nah... wea...” you stutter through chokes,
“You've been indoctrinated... I don’t know how or why, but her lapdogs have gotten to you. The mares who have done nothing but bring you Tartarus, and you embrace them as friends...”
“Bu…”
“You’re still labeled as 'Public Enemy Number One', but I guess that’s for show... to root The true Horde out because we don’t know you've been Harmonized…” he leans closer to you, “But it won’t work. We’re still going to carry on... with or without you.”
He begins applying a little more pressure on your throat causing you to gag more.
“Originally, I was going to impersonate you as we carried out our plan and then you would come to us and I would relinquish control to you...” he then leans forward, to the point where his snout is almost touching yours, “But it seems I have to take up the mantle now.”
Your eyes grow orange as you begin to pass out, but then he releases you. You gasp in much needed air and cough as he sits back,
“The Hooded Offender must carry on his message, The False Goddess must fall!” he proclaims to you, “So I’ll carry on your work, in honor of who you once were.”
“You... bucking... idiot...” you growl, “I’m not indoctrinated, I’m myself... and If you carry on, the blood that’s going to be shed is yours,” you growl at him as your eyes glow.
“Your orange eyes aren't so horrifying once you've seen blue behind them” he says causing you to look at him in surprise.
“I don’t know what the rest of you looks like, and for the sake of who you once were, I won’t pry,” he continues, “but your true blue eyes show how weak you've grown... and there’s no room for weakness on the battlefield.”
He then stands up,
“I have work to do... and I’m sorry, but for the sake of us all, you must be left behind...”
He walks over to the door.
“Goodbye Offender... your legacy will live on.”
“You can't just leave me here!” you shout.
“We both know that I must...” he says, “By the end of tonight, the message will have spread, and The Horde will grow stronger, and those who stand in our way will be dealt with... even if that means pruning our own weak...”
You imagine the rest of the Horde in Ponyville, in Canterlot, and everywhere else that aren't radical... what he would do to them.
“I’m going stop you you Bucking Psychopath! I swear it!” you shout.
You can’t stop the future my dear Fallen Offender…this is what needs to happen” he monotones, “I've seen the writing on the wall, there is no other way… THE NIGHTMARE COMES."
“What... y-you’ve seen it too?” you ask in surprise.
He ignores you,
"By the time I'm through, there won't be a weak pathetic Equestria, but the full might of The Horde Nation...”
He then dons a cloak that looks exactly like yours (you can’t even see his face).
“With the Hooded Offender himself at the lead.”
He then walks out the door leaving you alone in the darkness.
“WAIT! DON’T GO! WHAT DO THE WORDS MEAN?! WHAT DO THEY MEAN?!” you roar in the Royal Canterlot Voice.
You begin thrashing repeatedly in anger. You shout every obscenity you know, and swear vengeance upon all those who have wronged you. You then tire yourself out and weep as you fear you’ll never see Nightshade again. What you don't know, is that Coco is peeking into your room as you wail, Nightmare Cloak particles flying off you as you scream in anger (and in the RCV),
"YOU BUCKING $%#$#! I'M GONNA RIP YOUR BUCKING THROAT OUT! YOU HEAR ME! YOU WON'T LIVE TO SEE THE BUCKING SUN SHINE! WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE YOUR GONNA WISH YOU HAD COMMON SENSE TO LISTEN TO ME!"
As your anger builds, the Nightmare cloak begins to form. Coco squeaks in fear as you continue to shout,
"THAT GOES FOR ALL OF YOU IN THIS BLOODY HORDE! YOU ALL BETTER LEAVE NOW OR I'LL BUCKING KILL YOU ALL! YOU ALL ARE JUST STUPID LISTENING TO THIS IDIOT! YOU ALL WANT TO DIE! YOU ALL WANT TO HAVE MILLIONS OF PONIES BLOOD ON YOUR HOOVES! THEN KEEP LISTENING TO THIS BUCKING IDIOT! NOLING WILL BE SAFE WHEN I'M BUCKING FREE!"
Your one tail form completely formed as your tail swings around widely, knocking loose dozens of bricks. You begin to cry tears, and Coco gasps at this, as you yell,
"BUCK YOU LADY LUCK! THIS IS ALL YOUR BUCKING FAULT! YOU AND BUCKING DISCORD! I HOPE YOUR BOTH HAPPY, BECAUSE YOUR BOTH GONNA HAVE MILLIONS ON DEAD PONIES ON YOUR HANDS! YOU HEAR ME! I'LL KILL YOU BOTH AFTER I RIP FLAG BURNER'S HEART OUT!"
You suddenly become exhausted as the cloak fades, and you begin to cry even more as you whisper in pain,
"Please... someling... anyling... help me stop him... don't let him do it. I don't want anyling to die. I never wanted this. Doctor... Derpy... Fluttershy... The true Horde... the Bucking Deadly Five... Zecora... Luna... I'm sorry."
You begin to close your eyes as you say in a whisper,
I've failed again. The drone screw-up failed again- huh... Chrysalis?
And with that, you faint and the last thing you see is a very confused, very guilty Coco coming towards you saying with uncertainly,
You see Selena in front of you in her Nightmare Moon armor before she says,
“Do not give up... We can’t let that fool win.”
“It’s no use... I've lost...” you say downtrodden.
*smack*
She slaps you upside the head and says,
“You cannot give up! This fool will surely not cease until he's leg-deep in blood!”
“Sounds like everything you've ever wanted, your great revolution is coming true…” you mumble.
She looks aghast at that,
“I… well…” she sighs, “Look, if I ever succeed, it won’t be because of some fool with radical notions of belief, it will be because I have personal issues with the False Goddesses who have wronged me...”
“Oh, so now you care about innocents?” you cynically comment,
“If this anarchist gets his way, I won't have ANY subjects to rule over. Also, if this fool ever fights the Element Bearers, there is a chance Nightshade will be around, and I will not have her harmed in your name.”
“But I can’t do much strapped to this bed now can I?”
“No... but perhaps there is something I can do...” she says thoughtfully.
“What?”
“That Mare you were speaking to, she was conflicted, perhaps she will ally with us.”
“Coco? How are we going to get her here?”
“I sense she is near... and asleep... we can call for her to help.”
“Wait, how?”
“Through Dream Walking,” she replies.
“Wait, you can do that now?”
“Ever since Nightshade and Luna showed up, I began meditating upon my own abilities. It appears I can do it as well, but only over a short distance since I have no body of my own. Fortunately, the, admittedly adorable, strumpet took pity on your troubles, climbed atop you, and fell asleep snuggling you.”
"Really? Aw Luna! Why'd I have to go night-night before that!"
Selena rolls her eyes in annoyance, but is happy some of your old Buggy self is showing.
"Wait, I thought your power was being suppressed?" you ask in confusion
"For the physical world it is, but not from within here" she replies.
“Well hurry up then!”
“Be patient and still... this will require concentration... also, as she is still conflicted, I am going to convince her the only way I know how.”
“And what’s that?” you ask.
“With a Nightmare...” she says as she closes her eyes.
Selena enters into Coco’s dreamscape and you can see through her eyes. You see it is a happy place full of clothing and runways, but the landscape suddenly warps into fire and brimstone and death, scaring Coco as signs saying “Long Live the Horde” and “Down with the Tyrant” blanket the ground.
“Change your ways Coco Pommel, or this is what will come to pass” Selena says in your voice.
You are then pulled back into your own dreamscape as you guess she’s woken up,
“That was brutal...” you say in slight fear.
“Yes, I know, twas the point.” Selena replies.
“Now what?’
“We wait and see if it worked.”
You are then shook awake in the real world by Coco who has freed you with the key... she looks really nervous and scared as she quakes,
I-I-I’m... s-s-s-s-sorry…”
You silently hug her while giving her a warm smile as you say,
"It's okay now, calm down. Your doing good helping me okay? Your gonna stop this nut job with me right?"
You stop the hug as Coco gives you a nervous smile and says,
"Ya... ya."
You smile before asking,
You also ask Coco what FB's plan is, but she says this building was merely a "Diversion Base" that is meant to distract the Royal Guard and that not even she knows Flag Burner's true plans, but she does know that Flag Burner orchestrated the "accident" of the Fillydelphia Royal Guard captain...
"So, what's Flaming Nut's plan and what's this place like?"
Coco looks at you in confusion at your nickname for Flag Burner before saying,
"Well, this base is just a diversion building to help distract the Royal Guard if they ever get suspicious of your- I mean, their activities."
She then puts on a thinking face before saying,
"And I don't know what his big plan is, but what I do know that it's gonna happen sometime during the traditional Hearth's Warming Eve Hoofball game."
You look at her wide eyed before thinking in panic,
"Has Flame Nut done anything... drastic already in the city already?"
Coco gets a dark and guilty look before saying,
"Well... Flag Burner did orchestrate the "accident" of the Fillydelphia Royal Guard captain so that he could lure in a bigger target..."
Your eyes glow orange as you ask,
"What kind of... 'accident'?"
Coco looks down in sadness,
"A... deadly one... I thought it was a genuine accident until I learned about that a few minutes ago..."
*SMASH*
The table next to you is suddenly smashed in half as you introduced your hoof to it. You glare hatefully at the door where Flag Burner left and say in a cold serious tone,
"What was the captain's name?"
Coco looks at you fearfully before stammering,
"H-his wh-"
"HIS NAME!!!" you roar in the RCV causing Coco to stammer,
"I-Iron Shield. His name was Iron Shield."
"Did he have a family?"
"Ye...yes. A wife and a little filly."
Your glare intensifies as you hear Selena say in horror in your mind,
What... what has he done?
You sigh in sadness before you tell Coco,
"I'll need to make a formal apology to his family... after I carve his name into Flag Burner's scalp. Who's the new captain?"
"There's no new captain yet, but Canterlot sent down their top Captain and his right-hoof stallion."
"Who?"
"A Prince Shinning Armor and Lieutenant Flash Sentry."
*ding*
Of bucking course! They had to be here for this...!
With a sigh you say,
When you want to leave, she insists on staying behind so to make sure she won't get into any trouble with the rest of the Horde, you two go back to the cell and stage the scene to make it look like you literally broke out by breaking the shackles, cot, and door hinges and then laying Coco in a corner in the room before knocking her out with the Luna Plushie Luckily, you still have your Potion Sash on, so you plant a fuse bomb on the locked main door to blast it open (2 Fuse Bombs remaining)... only for that to be the distraction as you "Psycho Crusher" out a window and find that you are in/at...
"Well, I think it's time for us to make our exit."
Coco shakes her head before saying,
"Just you sir, I'm gonna stay behind to keep watch. Tell you what's happening and all that."
You sigh and say,
"If you say so, now here's the plan."
And with that you lean in and whisper to her the plan...
ONE PLAN LATER
*ka-boom shatter*
As soon as your hooves hit the ground you take off galloping. You don't look behind you, you just gallop past a street sign, and memorize it for later (in case you were wondering what the plan was, it involved staging the cell to make it look like you literally busted out and KOed Coco, retrieved the Inventory, and rolled a Fuse Bomb (2 Fuse Bombs remaining) under the pool table as a distraction while you "Psycho Crusher" out of the closest window).
After you've galloped for quite a while, you start to slow down and mentally tell Selena,
Okay here's the plan; I'm going to find Shining and convince him I'm on his side... somehow. Then I'm gonna tell him Flaming Nut's plan to strike during that Hoofball game on Hearths Warming Eve. Then we'll go back to that street and collect any evidence we can find. Then we'll set up a trap at the game, capture Flag, carve Iron Shield's name into his scalp, then I'll find Iron Shield's family and apologies for what happened. Then we'll head back to Ponyville, buy a new outfit, and then book it back to Appleloosa with Nightshade before anyling will notice... Somehow. The Doctor can watch over the bucking town himself if he's that desperate.
...That is ALOT of "then"s and "somehow"s. Could you repeat that, but more intelligently?
You're about to respond...
*WHAM*
When you slam right into somepony. After shaking away the birds you see...
Flash slips into his native tougne of Germaneigh-ish in panic.
The first thing you do when seeing Flash is exclaim your excitement, he was an alright guy even though you took him hostage and beat him down.
You smile at seeing Flash Sentry again as you say,
"Flash! Oh buddy, oh pal, oh... uh... great guy! You are just the pony I'm looking for!"
Flash just stares at you before he shouts out in panic and in... some language you don't know,
"Heilige Geld! Was das Geld machst du hier ?! Vielleicht haben Sie in der Innenstadt in der Nähe des Hoofball Stadion gesichtet wurden! (Holy buck! What the buck are you doing here?! I thought you were spotted at downtown near the Hoofball stadium)!"
You look at him in confusion before asking,
"Um...can you repeat that in Equestrian pleas-?"
But, instead of answering your question like a polite stallion would, he charges at you with his hoof up in a attempt to hit you...
"Would you kindly CHILL!" you say as you whip out the Power Glove and freeze the stallion in place into a Sentry-sickle.
"Look, bud, I'd love to hang out, maybe catch up on how it's been going, but I really don't have the time. There's an insane ex-supporter of mine who plans on unleashing his forces on Fillydelphia and slaughtering millions of ponies. I sort of need your help sorting this one out."
"GRBBBBHGRBHGRGHB!" Flash says with chattering teeth.
The waifu stealer is trapped under a layer of ice. I don't think he can- Selena says before she's suddenly interrupted by the voices of a legion of angry fanponies crying out in your head,
Kill the waifu stealer! Castrate him with fire! He was mind-controlled into being a jerk to Twilight in Rainbow Rocks so he must die screaming
You just had to say that Selena... AND SHUT UP ALREADY! I'M NOT GONNA KILL HIM! you mentally reply in annoyance as you melt Flash out of his icy prison causing him to gasp and pant, rapidly sucking in air.
"You're going to hyperventilate if you keep that up-*thud*" you say before Flash tackles you to the ground while your guard is down.
"You," he hisses.
"Yeah, me." you sarcastically reply, "Look, I'd love to do this whole 'epic fight between the criminal and the law' thing, but we're kind of on a schedule here. So would you kindly telekinesis!"
You lift Flash into the air with telekinesis and turn to leave with Flash floating behind you. He starts flailing around to no effect.
"Hey, dude," you say. "Do me a solid and tell me where Cadence's husband is. I need him too."
"Huh?" Flash asks in confusion as he was too busy flailing to pay attention. You didn't notice this so you say,
"Fine, if you want us to waste several hours searching while you play dumb, then that's what I'll do."
You flip Flash upside down so the blood rushes to his head before continuing,
"How bout I shake you like a bartender shakes instead of stirs a spy's drink instead until you agree to cooperate. Okay?"
He just continues to glare at you so you shrug your shoulders and grin evilly beneath your hood before saying in a sing-song voice,
"I don't hear a no..." before you start to violently shake the orange Pegasus like a maraca.
...I don't know how ponies conduct interrogations these days, but back in my day we'd ask them questions BEFORE getting rough... Selena snarks,
Oh... you think sheepishly, Yeah... I probably should've-
KILL THE WAIF-
SHUT UP! you mentally say before you stop shaking Flash and put him right side up,
"Now uh... where’s Shining Armor at?" you ask.
Flash shakes his head to rid himself of the birds fluttering around before saying
"The Fillydelphia Royal Guard Station of course, where else do you think he would be after you murdered Iron Shield!"
*Snap*
“Okay Bucko, let’s get one thing perfectly straight here.” you say to him in a serious/angry tone, “I. Didn’t. Kill. Anyling!”
“Oh sure, the leader of this branch of the guard's has an accident after Internal Affairs starts looking into him, and Equestria’s "Self-Proclaimed So-called Vigilante" just so happens to be here.” he snarks.
“That’s just a coincidence- wait, internal affairs?" you say in confusion.
“Yeah, Iron Shield, hay... most of the Fillydelphian guard aren't what you would call clean, but you already know that don't you?”
“Stained shields? Really? Wow, this really is starting to feel like a thriller flick situation... but that’s not the point, I didn't have anything to do with this!” you reply as your glowing eyes die down.
“Then what do you call this?” he asks as he reaches into his armor and pulls out a card with the symbol of the Horde on it, “found right here at the scene of the accident?
“Da Buck?” you ask as you actually look around you and see that the alleyway seems to have a lot of explody parts everywhere with yellow guard tape wrapped around the area.
Wow, how did I not notice that before? you think to yourself.
“Yeah, the Fillydelphian Guards wrapped this case up as an accident only an hour after it occurred, so Captain Armor sent me out here for a second opinion, and I find this, not even remotely hidden. How do you explain that?” he asks.
“The Guards are highly incompetent?” you guess.
“That would be a good guess, if it weren't for the fact that half the guards here are dirtier than an Earth Pony Farmer.”
“Hey, that’s species-ist!” you exclaim, seeing as how your family happens to be exactly that.
He gets a guilty look on his face,
“Sorry! That’s my grandfather talking, not me!” he shakes his head and gets serious again, “But yeah, obviously you got some Guards on your payroll, and you left this just for spite!” he exclaims before he takes advantage of your distracted mind to break out of telekinesis and tackle right into you.
“Oh for the love of... would you kindly CHILL THE BUCK OUT?” you yell as you buck him off you and freeze him again in midair,
“Oh come on!” he yells as his ice-covered body hits the ground on its side.
“Now listen, I know you’re not as stupid as your last boss, so read my lips when I say this again; I... DIDN'T... KILL... ANYLING!!!! GOT IT?!”
“But the card-” he tries to continue before you interrupt,
“It’s not mine, it was left here by the true culprit.”
“Really? And who would that be?” he asks in a deadpan tone that says he doesn't believe you.
“His name is Flag Burner, or at least that’s what others call him, and he is the leader of the Horde faction here.”
Flash’s eyes open in realization.
“I’ve heard that name... he recently sent out threatening letters to each of the Element Bearers and all three of the Princesses...”
“Oh that son of a... Grrrr... I’m going to slap him even harder for that...but ya, he's your true culprit.”
“But... he's one of your own so then you are still are responsible for th-”
"NO! I’M NOT!" you roar in the RCV as you angrily bring down both hooves on Flash's ice causing him obvious discomfort, "This nutjob is using me as an excuse to get what he wants! Hay, he just tried to leave me in a dark cell to die because I didn't think how he thought I would.”
“He...”
“And now he’s going to do something worse, he’s going to kill a lot of ponies tonight.”
Flash gasps at this info.
“I don’t know how, or where, but it’s going to be tonight! And that's why I need to talk to Armor, we need to work together before it's too late, and sitting here playing the blame game won’t help us anytime soon!”
Flash gets a contemplative look on his face for a few moments before saying,
“...OK, I'll help you, just unfreeze me OK?”
"Deal." you say as you unfreeze him.
While Flash is stretching his joints to see if they still work after you froze them, but he looks at you in surprise when you suddenly say,
"If the whole bucking Guard here are dirty. I have half the mind to beat them all straight."
Flash sighs as he says,
"Look Offender, I'm with you there. But we don't have any evidence showing that they are dirty. Plus, we have bigger problems if what you told me is true. Flag Burner is the main priority for now so we can worry-"
"You mean beat up." you interrupt,
Flash glares at you for your outburst before saying,
"Worry about the guard here later."
You sigh in defeat before saying,
"Fine."
You then smile mischievously before you say in a high-pitched voice...
>> SnapDrakeGames This happens, but I recommend that it be modified so that Bugze pulls a "Play Along Prisoner" and lets himself get arrested by Flash to get an audience with Shining (I highly doubt the version of Flash in this story would break under interrogation AND Bugze being a "Play Along Prisoner" will make things simpler as I highly doubt he could just walk into Royal Guard HQ without getting dogpiled)
"What are you d-" he suddenly pauses when he realizes what the tune you're saying is and gives you an angry look and angrily says, "I swear on my badge that you better not-"
“You know how many times I had to hear that at school and in Boot Camp?! I'm sick of it!” he snarls.
“Oh come on,” you say as you get back up, “Flash Gorgon is a great hero, I'm complimenting you.”
“Flash Gorgon is a stupid corny series...” he snaps.
You just stare at him in silence *snap* before you suddenly slap him on the snout.
“Ow!”
“Learn to take a compliment man, and don't you ever dis one of my favorite larvae-hood flicks again.” you say with glowing eyes, “Now, enough wasting time, onward to the station!”
You start to take a few steps before he grabs your cloak and says,
“You can’t just walk into the station, not when we don’t know who to trust and especially not with Equestria's most wanted just waltzing in!”
“Oh, that makes sense...” you say aloud, “What do you suggest?
Flash smirks evilly before holding up a pair of cuffs. You stare at them for a bit before saying,
"Oh no, your not suggesting that I..."
Flash just nods his head as he says,
"Yep."
Your about to object to his idea, but you just sigh and put your hooves out towards Flash.
"You're under arrest." Flash says. Remembering one of your favorite comedies, you then suddenly say,
I hope this works... you think before you suddenly hear...
Flash and a shackled you make your way to the Police Station when, "Halt!" You both freeze when approached by a trio of Royal Guard, a unicorn and an earth pony (who looks oddly familiar...) being led by a... Zebra The Zebra introduces himself as "Second Liutenant Alonzo" (and for some reason says "King Kong ain't got Horseapples on me!") while you both finally remember that the Earth Pony is Strong Head. Flash exposes the trio as "stained shields" with wordplay. Flash turns to you before suddenly body-checking Alonzo. You catch on and attack the other two with a "Psycho Crusher" and tackle them both into the wall. Interrogate Alonzo with vise-grips to the tounge and say "Allons-y Alonzo!" and find out that FLag Burner put a bounty on your head.
"HALT!"
You and Flash turn over in surprise and see a trio of Royal Guard coming your way. One of them is the usual white coated unicorn, the other is another unicorn stallion who looks awfully familiar, but what's really strange is what looks to be the leader of the trio; a zebra.
I thought solar-flanks only had ponies in her guard? Also, why can't I help but feel that something is off about this trio...
The trio finally reach you as the Zebra gives Flash a salute before saying,
"Second Lieutenant Alonzo at your service Lieutenant Flash!"
Flash says,
"At ease Lieutenant, why are you here with the two privates?"
Before the Zebra can say anything, the unicorn suddenly shouts,
"YOU KNOW WELL WHY WERE HERE PRIVATE- S*smack*"
His outburst is cut short when the other unicorn slaps him in the back of the head.
But you and Flash's eyes widen in surprise as you both think the same thing,
I know that annoying whining shout anywhere... Strong Head!
You get on the defensive (well, as munch you can with cuffs on) as Flash suddenly asks,
"So... how are those new black-cherry filled donuts at Rick's?"
Alonzo gets a confused look before responding,
"Never heard of it. Why do you ask?"
Flash just smiles innocently before saying,
"Oh no reason..."
*wham*
And the next thing you know, Flash body checkss Alonzo. You, Strong Head, and the other unicorn look at the two in surprise, but then Flash shouts,
"OFFENDER! THEY'RE STAINED SHIELDS!"
You look at him in confusion as he tackles Alonzo when the latter reaches for his dagger,
"So their armor's a bit dirty, that doesn't mean-"
He means they are corrupt you imbecile. Even thy dull mind has seen enough 'loose-cannon guard' flicks to know what that term means... Selena chimes in.
"Ohhhhh..." you say in oblivious realization,
*snap*
...before you turn your glowing orange eyes on the two traitors. They look at you in fear as you say,
"Well boys, I've just been backstabbed so I ain't in any patient mood for traitors." you crack your neck before continuing, "And traitors deserve no second thought, only their complete annihilation..."
The two unicorns draw their swords,
"PSYCHO CRUSHER!"
But you spin smash into the two unicorns, slamming them both into the wall and knocking them out cold. You turn back to Flash and see him holding the corrupt Zebra against the wall,
He's suddenly interrupted when you levitate your vise-grips on his tongue and threaten,
"If you don't say something useful soon, I'm gonna rip your dirty tongue out and replace it with a chili pepper!" and tug on the vise grips for emphasis,
*twack*
Before Flash slaps your horn forcing you to drop the vise grips as you rub your throbbing and dizzy horn,
"Owwww! What was that for!"
"That's an against-regulations interrogation!" Flash says, "It's not admissible in court!"
"Buck the courts! I'm gonna make this bucker sing even if I need to use his nards as cymbals!"
Before Flash could respond, Alonzo shakes in fear before saying,
"Okay, okay! We... we came after you because the Horde has put a 1,000 bit open bounty for whoever can kill the False Offender."
You stare him for awhile before saying,
"Well thanks for the info, now Allons-y Alonzo to La La land! PSYCHO CRUSHER!"
And with that, you knock him into the wall where he slumps onto the downed unicorns.
Even after that slight headache, you can't help but comment,
"Nice work on the 'good guard bad guard' routine Flash."
"You are a bad guard." Flash snarks.
"Very funny- Wait...1,000 bits! Only 1,000 stinking bits! I'm worth way more than that!"
Flash looks at you strangely as he ties up the stained shields and asks,
"Why are you upset about that?"
You sigh as you say,
"I'm upset because you'd think after all I've been though, Flaming Nut could at least give me a decent bounty! Buggy the Clown Pirate has more bits on his head then me and he sucks at being a pirate! The only reason he's a decent pirate in the show at all is his Bara Bara no Mi powers. I've got a glove of mass destruction, the power to see far away (referring to Zoom), decent magic, and the power t level whole buildings! Can't that psycho put a higher bounty on me!"
Flash just stares at you before laughing and saying,
"While it was a funny One Piece reference, the bounty he has on you is probably better in your case compared to the one Celestia has on you."
You look at him confused and ask,
"I thought my bounty was still at 756,000 bits?"
Flash laughs slightly as he finishes tying up the unconscious traitors. He then turns towards you and says,
Flash just sighs as he drags your now cuffed hooves towards the police station. Along the way you ask,
"By the way, just how were you able to tell those Guards were dirty?"
Flash smirks and says,
"Elementary my lame hooded suspect; Royal Guards typically have a set patrol path and schedule and thus always and only go to the Donut Shop within their patrol radius. Rick's is the closest doughnut place to where we were ate and the fact that Alonzo didn't know what that place was proof that he's out of his jurisdiction and possibly stained."
"That's actually pretty clever..."
"Thanks... But I don't think that means much coming from somepony who's plans involve sneaking into places by pretending to be a living box." Flash snarks, "Plus I have to spend Hearth's Warming Eve away from my mother and little brother thanks to you." he grumbles bitterly.
"Oh sorry about that..." you apologize guilty-ly.
Note to self: Get Nightshade her first Hearth's Warming Eve present...
ONE WALK LATER
You are lead into the station as “Flash’s Prisoner”. You start screaming crazy things at the top of your lungs that make you sound extremely insane. “What you got there flyboy?” asks a guard. “Another lunatic claiming to be the offender, these guys just keep coming out the woodwork.” “I LIKE CHEESE!” you yell, “ALIENS STOLE MY BRAIN! THE ELVES IN MY NOSE ARE FILTHY COMMIES!” Everyone just assumes you are a nutjob as he puts you in an interrogation room. “Alright, sit tight while I grab the captain.” “DON’T EAT MY MOTHER IN LAW!” you yell “You don’t have to keep doing that.” He chides “Sorry, kind of got lost in the moment.”
As Flash leads a hoofcuffed you into the station (with him carrying the Inventory), you start screaming crazy things at the top of your lungs that make you sound extremely insane,
“Another lunatic claiming to be the offender, these guys just keep coming out the woodwork-”
“I LIKE CHEESE!” you yell, “ALIENS STOLE MY BRAIN! THE ELVES IN MY NOSE ARE FILTHY COMMIES!”
"Four doors on the left" the guard bluntly says.
As you are dragged into a interrogation room by Flash you see your Wanted Poster which looks the same as it used to back when you first saw it with... her, but the picture has been updated to have your Horde symbol next to your picture, the newer bounty price, and some new reasons for arrest. Due to the fact that you were still being dragged by Flash, you didn't have time to read it, but you did spot new charges like, "Mass hypnosis without a permit" and "Assisting Discord"
"For the last bucking time, I DIDN'T DO THAT!!!" you yell in annoyance as Flash roughly shoves you into a chair.
“Alright, sit tight while I get the captai-”
“DON’T EAT MY MOTHER IN LAW!” you yell.
“You don’t have to keep doing that.” He bluntly chides.
“Sorry, kind of got lost in the moment...” you sheepishly say before Flash rolls his eyes and leaves the room.
When Flash returns, Shining Armor walks into the room with a disgusted look on his face.
“I almost couldn't believe it when Flash told me, but here you are...”
“Hey Captain... how’s Cadence doing?” you cheerfully ask, but the unicorn ignores you as he sits down and Flash stands at attention at the door.
“You have five minutes.” Shining says,
“To what?” you ask.
“To convince me why I shouldn't beat you to a pulp and bring you before the Princesses and the Elements for judgement.”
You gulp at that, because his eyes are scary looking, but then you say,
“Well 1. The last time you tried that it didn't end well for anyling, and 2. Like I told Savior of the Universe here,” Flash growls at that, “Something bad is about to happen, and you need to stop it.”
“Care to elaborate Bug?”
“Well...”
You then retell exactly what has happened to you and how this faction of the horde is radical, and how they caused the "accident".
“And that’s about it.” You end.
Shining looks a bit disturbed at this,
“So, a radical faction of your fan club is planning on overthrowing the Princesses and starting a war, all because of the fact that you exist?”
“Oh come on, don’t say it like that!” you wail, "It's all that psycho Flag Burner's idea!"
"I heard that name before..." Shining says in a thinking tone, "The rumors say he's a pony who blames a great personal loss on the Princesses and has sent many angry letters to them... including my wife" he growls at the last part, "But there is no official record of a pony named 'Flag Burner' officially existing..."
He then gets up as he says,
“Well thanks for the information... Bugze.” you gasp as he says this, “But what you've said doesn't really help us much even if it were true. We can’t exactly search the entire city at once, and everywhere is crowded thanks to the Hearth’s Warming Eve shopping. Whatever this 'Flag Burner' has planned could be anywhere.”
“Then start doing sweeps or something!” You exclaim.
“Not to mention, I don’t know who to trust in this city, Anypony could be one of your Horde members.”
“Come on! We have to do something!”
“We are, we are going to place you under arrest and let the whole city know, that should shake things up a bit.” Shining says plainly.
“Oh Come ON!” you yell.
Suddenly, you all hear a loud noise. You all look outside your window to see a giant projected image of a hooded black faceless figure reflected on the cloudy snowy sky.
"Flag Burner..." you growl as you further notice that he is standing on a Hoofball field while other members of the horde (also wearing their hoods and cloaks) stand around him.
“It is just like Batmane Rises! Well, except we can probably understand what he’ll say.” you say aloud.
Shining and Flash shoot you a look before Flag begins speaking,
“Greetings to you ponies of Equestria, and Happy Early Hearth's Warming Eve, I bring to you tidings of joy for I am the Hooded Offender, and I have come to let you know of the changing tide...”
“Oh no,” you say as you watch the projection before you reach across the table, grab Shining, and yell in panic,
"LOOK. YOU'VE GOT TO HELP ME NOW OR ALL THOSE PONIES ARE DEAD! WE NEED A PLAN AND WE NEED ONE NOW!"
Flash pulls you off of Shining as the unicorn asks,
"Get a hold of yourself! And why would you suddenly start caring about what happens to ponies?"
You stop as you stare at him in pure despair as you say,
"I... I don't want anypony to die."
Shining sighs before he puts on a thinking face. A few seconds later he says,
"Okay, the plan is-"
What do you do?
Episode 52: The Threat Is Neigh! Race To The Hoofball Stadium! (Die Horde Part 4)
As Flag Burner is making his address, the Inventory begins to flash. You pull out the Doctor's notebook and find a message. DO NOT ATTACK FLAG BURNER. This fight isn't meant for you, my boy. The Nightmare is coming. Only you can stop it. You need to walk away. The book shakes as your hooves quiver in rage. He knows. He knew! He always knew! Calm your- Calm? CALM?! He dragged me out of Appleloosa for... for... WHAT?! He knew what was going on and he didn't- GONG Deal with him later! The threat is nigh, and you already tried stopping it on your own. We need a plan.
As the projection of the "Hooded Offender" (who's really Flag Burner impersonating you) reflects off the cloudy sky outside the interrogation room of the FIllydelphian Royal Guard headquarters, Captain Shining Armor says,
"Okay, the plan is-"
But is interrupted when something starts to shake from inside the Inventory (which Flash Sentry took off you while "arresting" you). Everypony in the room (You, Flash, and Shining) look at the saddlebag in confusion as Flash reaches in and pulls up "The Doctor's Notebook". He starts to inspect it-
"Yoink! That's for me!"
When you quickly dash over and grab it out of his hooves with your hoof-cuffed hooves. You read it and it says,
Bugze, THIS IS IMPORTANT: DO NOT ATTACK FLAG BURNER. This fight isn't meant for you, my boy. You need to walk away.
The book shakes as your hooves quiver in rage causing you to shout,
"He knows... He knew! He always knew!"
"Calm do-" Shining orders, but is interrupted when you shout,
"Calm? CALM?! That old coot dragged me out of Appleloosa for... for... WHAT?! He knew what was going on and he didn't-"
*GONG*
You're ranting is stopped by a mental gonging.
Deal with the time walker later for I agree with Cadenza's mistress's suggestion. The threat is nigh, and you already tried stopping it on your own. We need a plan. Selena chimes in.
You shake off that mental shock as put away the Doctor's Notebook and say,
"You're right, we need a plan."
Shining is about to reply when you all notice that the projection of Flag Burner is looks around in (what you guess is) a hardened stare from beneath his faceless hood before he says,
"Now that you all have had sufficient time to blink and make sure that this is indeed actually happening and not a side-effect of too much eggnog, I shall now commence with my message to the world!"
“Oh no,” you say as you watch the projection.
“I have come to free you from the oppression of a False Goddess, to lead you into the light, and away from the darkness of her shadow...”
“OK, see? Right there, I don’t talk like that. Do I?”
“Well...” Flash and Shining say.
“I am not a monster my little ponies, but a savior. A savior with a gift for you all. That gift is freedom; freedom from the oppression of forced Harmony, freedom from the hypocrisy of it all. And so, I hope you all remember this Holiday Season as the first stepping stone towards a new world order...”
“This guy is nuts.” you hear Flash mutter.
“And that first step, will begin with him…”
Flag Burner steps aside and two of his hooded minions drag an older, battered, and bruised-looking stallion to the front so he's the center of the projection.
“Tell the people of this city your name” Flag says.
“I... I am Iron Shield... Captain of the Fillydelphian Guard." he says weakly.
“He’s alive?” you ask in confusion.
“That explains why there was no body found in the wreckage...” Shining says.
“And why are you here?” Flag continues.
“Because... because I have failed this city...” he says with tears (you can't tell if it's from guilt or pain) in his eyes.
“And why is that?” asks Flag in his monotone tone.
“I... I took bribes... I let things slide... I destroyed and planted evidence... I betrayed the law... Oh please, I know I wasn't very good, but please... think of my family. Please spare me.” He begs in pain.
“I am thinking of your family Shield... or more specifically, your unwanted son... the one born to your mistress.”
You hear a lot of gasps at that exclamation and Shield puts his head down in shame before Flag continues,
“His mother died when he was young... had to go to a cheap back-alley surgeon because you wouldn't even provide a few bits for a decent doctor, but he was a tough boy and he endured. He came to me you know, a scrawny looking colt who had to beg on the streets to make ends meet... he told me he would make his father proud one day.”
Shield begins to cry.
“Such a sweet young colt... until he was hit by a runaway carriage and died of his injuries. You weren't even at his funeral. Apparently you were preoccupied with a private bribe party for you being held by the biggest racketeers of South side.”
“Yeesh.” You says aloud as you see Shield bawling.
“I’m Sorry...” Shield mutters.
“I know you are,” Flag says as he puts a hoof on his shoulder.
“But change requires sacrifice, and you will be the first of many” he continues.
Flag suddenly grabs the stallion's head and snaps his neck with one quick motion, killing him.
“Holy Buck!” you scream and you hear many others screaming across the city and Shining and Flash look unnerved at what they've just witnessed.
“That is but a taste of the evil we will uproot tonight. Shining Armor, I know you are watching... you are a weapon of the Tyrant... yet you are a noble soul. I ask you to join our cause... or join Shield's fate. I also have a bomb in the stadium set to blow. If you have the courage, come to me... We’ll have a nice little talk...You have 30 minutes... Merry Hearth's Warming Eve everypony...”
With that the Projection stops and now you are extremely angry,
“Someone died in my name... You are dead Flag...” you growl to yourself.
Now thoroughly convinced, Shining goes out of the room and says to the nearest Fillydelphian guards.
“Get every guard to the Stadium, we have to evacuate it immediately!”
“Every guard sir?”
EVERYPONY!!!!” Shining yells in anger.
“Sir Yes Sir!” the guards salute before running out.
Shining then turns to another pegasus guard and orders,
“We need a bomb disposal team on standby and at the ready stat!”
“Sir!” the guard salutes before flying off.
Flash comes up to Shining and asks,
“Sir, I thought we didn't know who to trust?”
“Whether they’re stained or not is beside the point, we only have 30 minutes!” he exclaims.
After that, Shining starts shouting out orders to all the guards in the area, and soon the building is buzzing with frenetic activity. Unfortunately, you suddenly get a familiar feeling that is very unwelcome at the moment. Coughing in embarrassment, you activate the RCV as you yell...
"HOLD IT!" you yell as loud as you can. Shining stops to look at you with a disgruntled face. "What is it?", he says with agitation in his voice. You smile and say with most politest voice you can conjure. "I need to pee, like badly! I haven't gone in hours!" "Can't that wait for AFTER we deal with the potential massacre?!" proclaimed Flash with as much annoyance in his voice as his captain. You really are an idiot... "Well excuse me for have to hold it all day! Today hasn't left me with many times to use the toilet" you reply to the duo. "OK! Enough! Just take him the bathroom we can come up with a plan on the way to bathroom!" yelled Shining with a face that said "I ain't have none of this shit today"
"HOLD IT!"
Every guard in the floor turns towards you and Shining says with an annoyed/disgruntled look on his face and agitation in his voice,
"What is it?"
You smile and say with politest voice you can conjure,
"I need to pee, like badly! I haven't gone in hours!"
"Can't that wait for AFTER we deal with the potential massacre?!" Shining proclaims in annoyance as the other guards scowl at you.
You really are an idiot...
"Well excuse me for have to hold it all day! Today hasn't left me with many times to use the toilet" you reply.
"OK! Enough! Lieutenant, just take him the bathroom so we can come up with a plan in peace!" yelled Shining with a face that said 'I ain't have none of this horeseapples today'
You nod your head in thanks as Flash leads to a conveniently placed bathroom next to your interrogation room. As you enter and begin to relive yourself, you hear a bunch of muffled yells coming from the other side of the bathroom. You quickly wash your hooves and walk out and see both Flash and Shining directing guards to stations around the area. As this is going on, you can't help but feel that things are doing fine and say,
“Alright, glad that things are running smoothly, now you stay here and let me handle thi...”
All of a sudden, you are lifted and slammed up against the wall by Shining’s magic as Flash and several other guards put spears in your face.
“Just because we're dealing with a crisis, it doesn't mean I'm going to let you free.” Shining growls.
“What?” you yell, “Oh come on! You need my help to stop this guy!”
“I don’t need your kind of help, this is a matter for the guards to handle, not you.”
“I am literally one of the most powerful fighters in the freaking land! And this guy is killing in my name, I think it’s pretty much my business too!” you shout.
Flash pokes the spear into your cheek a bit,
“I heard you mumbling to yourself, we are not going to allow you to kill this Flag Burner!”
*snap*
Your eyes glow orange at that,
“HE... KILLED... A... GUARD!!!” you shout as your voice throws them back a few steps, “A Stallion with a family! He’s going to kill more, including you! And I will make him pay!” you growl.
Shining squints his eyes at you,
“That’s not for you to decide Offender! There are laws that must be followed. We will take him alive if possible so that he can face justice... I will bring him down, not you!”
“Justice?! I AM JUSTICE!!!” you scream in exasperation, “YOU OWE ME ARMOR!!! I’m the one who kept Cadance alive, unless you've forgotten that too!”
He scowls at that,
“Cadance has told me that... said that you are just 'one big misunderstood kindly soul'... but even if that is the case, I’m not just going to allow you run off and kill a stallion. Every time you get involved anywhere, mass amounts of destruction occurs.”
“If I don’t get involved, a lot more will die! You. Will. DIE! Don’t you understand that!” you yell.
“I can take care of myself, besides, you said it yourself, you've never taken a life before... if you do this now, no past kindness nor any so called good deeds will make up for it... you are staying here, whether in chains or not is up to you...”
You take an angry breath,
“Yeah?” you ask as you take a breath, “Well Buck You Too! FUS RO DAH!"
Your shout of power blasts everypony in the area through cubicle walls, glass panes, and even out the occasional window and Shining is knocked out when he slams into the armor room,
“Sorry boys, this is for your own goo-”*whack*
You are interrupted when Flash recovers first, dashes at you, and to whacks you upside the head with his spear. You slowly turn your glowing eye at him angrily as he probably left a welt.
“That should have knocked you out!” he exclaims.
“I’m Lady Luck's punching bag,” Flash tries to hit you again, but you grab his spear with a hoof and hold it in place, “I'm used to taking her hits. SHORYUKEN!”
You hit Flash with a rising uppercut that makes the pegasus slam against the ceiling before roughly landing on the ground where a cubicle wall falls on and pins him. You get in Flash’s face as you retrieve the Inventory and say,
“Now you be a good soldier and watch after your Captain, I have a maniac to stop.”
With that you walk over to the window before Flash calls back.
“You don’t want to do this!” he yells.
“I’m pretty sure I do.” you growl as you continue walking, not even turning around.
“Taking another's life will change you, and not for the better! Please don't!” he pleads.
You stop before the window as you remember a motto from when you were a drone under your former Queen and say it grimly,
“Eye for an eye, fang for a fang, blood for blood, Revenge solves everything...”
*shatter*
You jump out the window and run towards the stadium through the crowds of panicking ponies.
Bugze... your thoughts begin to darken...
“I learned from the best.” you say vindictively.
I concur that this Stallion deserves death but...
“What?!” you angrily say as you jump over a downed HWE tree.
I don't know, it's just that you finally walking this path I originally wanted, it just seems... wrong somehow.
You growl aloud and say,
“Right or wrong doesn't matter anymore, that psycho is going to get his!”
I... as you wish, you hear her say in hesitation, I will stand by you no matter what. I just hope Nightshade will understand... she adds in, halting your dark thoughts for a moment.
“I... She... GRAGH! Fine! Flag is still going to bleed though!” you tell her.
That is fine with me... she says a bit more cheerfully.
You can’t believe it’s come to the point where she (of all ponies) is calming you down. She’s come a long way. You smile slightly at that fact before your face hardens as you continue to run towards the stadium, your cloak flying in the wind behind you. As you get closer to the stadium, you spot out of the corner of your eye...
Imbecile! We've got a wannabe messiah to stop and here you are hesit- What is a murder of crows doing in Fillydelphia? Especially one this size in the snow? I haven't seen any since our arrival... Selena comments.
Wait! What did you call them?
A murder of crows. That is the correct term for a group of crows. Have you not heard that term before?
You're about to respond when you spot a bottle in the middle of the murder. You go into the alley and make your way through the birds to see a bottle that looks like this and you see a label that reads,
"MURDER Of CROWS: Command a murder of needling beaks to swarm your enemies.* Now in licorice flavor!" ―Fink Manufacturing advertisement *Disclaimer: Only compatible with plasmid glove. Only works when plasmid glove is on AND crows are within a mile radius. Not responsible for damage caused by bird poop.
"Ooooo, licorice!*
Focus! Quite frankly, I'm beginning to lose track of how many abilities, powers, spells, and skills you have at this point... Selena comments.
"This could be useful for crowd control or distractions..."
You're about to drink the bottle when you see...
Along the way, you see looters stealing stuff, so you freeze them and save some innocent ponies from being robbed.
Psycho Crusher through the door way into a tiny mob of looters and Falcon Punch the biggest one through a storefront window causing the others to flee. You notice one of the games that one of the looters dropped and the title catches your eye; Hatred. "Wait a minute... isn't that the game that was considered so violent that it was banned by Celestia? AWESOME!!! This will be the perfect gift for Nightshade!" With that, you quickly pocket the game and move on.. "Hatred" video game added to Inventory
A group of looters smashing up a department store and terrorizing/mugging the ponies inside.
"Aw hay no!" you declare as you put the bottle away ("Murder of Crows vigor" added to Inventory), take out the Power Glove, and run towards the department store.
"PSYCHO CRUSHER!" you call out as you spin-smash through the doorway and knock the looters everywhere like a bowling ball. A few looters still standing brandish their clubs with intent to charge you when you quickly grab some film reels from The Inventory and throw them like frisbees, knocking one out and forcing the others to scatter. A few of the downed ones charge at you...
"Would you kindly FREEZE!"
Before you cover the floor in ice causing them to slip and slide towards you, but you step out of the way allowing them to all slam into a janitor's closet. You rush in and jam the door with a "Animals, Nature, and You" book to lock them in.
*WHAM*
When the biggest looter (a dimwitted-looking earth pony) knocks you into a HWE display that consists of a stack of empty presents. As he charges you again, a "Psychology of Dreams" book shoots out of the fallen stack and hits the stallion in the eye, stunning them as he grabs his eye in pain.
"FALCON PUNCH!"
Your orange flame-covered hoof shoots out of the downed stack and slams into the stallion, sending him crashing through the store window *klonk* and knocking him out on the pole.
Seeing their biggest gun down, the other looters tuck tail and flee. As you watch the civilians leave, you notice one of the games that one of the looters dropped and the title catches your eye; Hatred.
"Wait a minute... isn't that the game that was considered so violent that it was banned by Celestia? AWESOME!!! This will be the perfect gift for Nightshade!"
Added to Inventory: "Hatred video game" "Murder of Crows vigor bottle"
Lost "Animals, Nature, and You" book "Seikrei" anime serial reels "Psychology of Dreams" book
After that, you run towards the Hoffball Stadium, but before you can get there, a figure steps out of an alley and in your path...
After stopping the looters, you sprint on the stadium. The Doctor steps out of an alley on your way. "I know you got my message." You snarl and ignore him, running on as fast as you can. The Tardis appears ahead of you, and the Doctor appears again. "Do you really have so little faith in those two guards?" "The guards? No. It's YOU!" You stop nose-to-nose with him. "You have five seconds. What is the Nightmare?" "Walk away, Bugze." You stop yourself from Falcon Punching him and run on.
"Whoa there! I know you got my message." the Doctor says.
You snarl and ignore him, running on as fast as you can. *wham* when you run right into the TARDIS.
As you rub your head in pain, Doctor steps out of the TARDIS and sternly says,
"Oi! Didn't you get my message!"
"Go save a planet noling has heard of, I got business in that stadium!" you bitterly retort.
"Do you really have so little faith in the guards?!"
"The guards? I meant YOU! Know would you kindly GET THE BUCK OUT OF MY WAY!"
With that, you use the Telekinesis plasmid to grab the Time Lord and throw him back into the TARDIS and cause it to phase away when his body slams into the controls, but you just keep running.
“Huh, Armor wasn't kidding when he said everyling.” you comment
“There he is!” someone shouts.
“Huh?” you say in confusion.
“There’s that murderer!”
“No it’s a false one, kill him and get the bounty!”
You then see that almost everypony in the area is looking at you. You even see a bunch of newsponies with cameras.
“Oh Buck Me! Flag Burner, you are so going to pay for this...” you mutter.
"Time to pay for your crimes Offender!"
"Put it on my tab!", you yell as you pull out your "Armored Shell tonic" ("Physical and Magical Damage is reduced by 50%") and down it.
It actually tastes pretty good, like citrus soda, but then you start feeling your bones and skin hardening and your skin starts to briefly glow white. You do everything you can to keep on your feet as you sway and grit your teeth to suppress cries of pain. Most of the ponies look at you stunned, but one Pegasus Royal Guard charges at you with intent to skewer you with his spear-
*crack*
But fortunately, his spear was coming at you at an angle and your tonic is taking effect, causing the spear to break. As you catch your breath, the stunned Pegasus says,
"W-What sorcery is this?!"
“Just took some points in Damage reduction.” you say cryptically before you smash the empty tonic bottle over his head, stunning him, before hitting the Pegasus with a jumping headbutt that knocks him out cold (it still hurts you, but not as much as it normally would).
"So..." you say as you shake your head, "Who's next?"
The guards harden their expressions and prepare to charge you.
Buck! I NEED to get inside before it’s too late... *snap* Guess I better clean some clocks....
Your eyes glow orange and Nightmare Cloak particles fly off your body as you smile evilly and yell in the Royal Canterlot Voice,
"WELL BRING IT ON YOU COWARDS! WHO'S GONNA COME UP AND GET THEIR BUTTS KICKED FIRST! CAUSE I HAVE A IDIOT WHO'S BUTT NEEDS KICKING! WE'RE ON EASTERN PAIN TIME AND IT'S DAN O'CLOCK- Wait... Dang it wrong intro! Well, it is Hearth's Warming Eve so I'm gonna Deck the halls with YOUR STUPID BODIES!!!"
What do you do?
Episode 53: FILLYDELPHIA FREE-FOR-ALL! The True Hooded Offender Vs. Fanatics Vs. Shields! (Die Horde Part 5)
As you and the guards surrounding the stadium face off against each other, the head unicorn on the scene suddenly says, "What are you waiting for? It's Hearth's Warming Eve. Take him to church!" On cue, the Royal Guard charges in at you and as you draw the staff from the Inventory you think, Why didn't I think of that line?
You and the guards (which looks like at least a small battalion) stand there in front of the stadium facing each other down; your eyes glowing orange, the newsponies jotting things down in their notepads, taking pictures, and muttering things (you swore you heard one mutter something about "the mayor declaring a state of emergency"), and a few of the Royal Guard start to look around nervously due to the lack of any movement.
The tense silence is broken when a pegasus Guard (probably an officer) declares,
Their morale emboldened by this declaration, the Royal Guards all charge at you. As you draw the staff from the Inventory, all you can think is,
That line was awesome! Why didn't I think of it?
And with that you slam your staff into the ground, sending a shockwave away from you that sends the guards in front (and a few parked carriages) flying and the remaining guards stop in their tracks in charge. You twirl your staff around a bit as you yell,
"WELL DON'T JUST STAND THERE YOU COWARDS! BRING IT ON!"
This starts to play in the background as you charge at the nearest guard and...
Due to the recently consumed, Armored Shell tonic, you plow through several guards and you don't feel a headache this time. You notice this and think,
I wonder how much stronger my shell is compared to a pony's body, Armored Shell effects aside. I really should have paid more attention in Changeling Anatomy clas-
Seriously?! Thy art thinking about this now? How about you dodge the spell heading towards our flank?
"Buck!" you yell as you quickly dodge a spell which hits a guard pony and knocks her into a lightpost.
You smack a pair of Pegasus guards flying at you in the face with your staff before using the momentum to twirl your staff in the air as you proclaim,
Before slamming the staff into the ground again and releasing another shockwave that sends more guards flying back and forcing the others to back off (a few smart ones (probably the few honest ones) tend to keeping the press back).
"Raaauugh!" you roar as your eyes glowed a more intense orange and (if observant enough) a faint glow can be seen surrounding you mystifyingly before you charged at the remaining guards.
As all of this is going on, two Royal Guard earth ponies guarding the newsponies start to chat,
"Are we sure he's the fake?" the stallion asks,
"W-well, yeah!" the mare of the duo replies indigently but with a hint of uncertain fear, "I mean, it's only a 1k bounty so how hard could it be? He only has a hard head!"
"FALCON PUNCH!"
A 200-pound earth pony stallion sailed over their heads, screaming like a filly until he smashes against the ground.
"...and super strength." the mare guard adds (her voice starting to waver) as more guards charge at you from the front, but you send them flying with another shockwave from your staff.
"...and a power staff..."
The mare's voice is now clearly scared. The stallion guard comments,
"Yeah... We're not getting paid enough for this. Hey, I know this place that makes great Vanhoover-style Japadogs."
"SHORYUKEN!"
A unicorn royal guard is sent crashing into an above pegasus royal guard by your uppercut as the stallion continues making his move,
"Want to go on a date and call it a break?"
"I... I'd love to." the mare says before she and the stallion take off their armor and trot off. One of the newsponies yell after them,
"WAIT! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE PROTECTING US!! Buck... IF SOMEPONY DOESN'T CALL FOR REINFORCEMENTS, I'M DOING AN EXPOSE ON YOU!!"
Back in the brawl, the parking lot was now literally, decked with bodies and stained in soldier sweat and grime and blood.
Well, not really blood, just some dude's hayburger with extra extra extra ketch-
Focus!
"Wuh-Woah!" you say as a spell narrowly misses your head.
"Oh..., big mistake!" you yell as Killing intent intensifies and you turn around to see who shot that spell at you only for the big unicorn to grab you in a headlock.
As the guard starts giving you a noogie, you don't notice a small squad of shadowy hooded cloaked figures appearing atop the upper levels of the Hoofball stadium. They start setting up a tube with a stand as one of them smirks while loading a canister of a white glowing liquid into the tube.
"Equestria will burn..." he mutters as he drops the canister into the tube before yelling, "FOR THE HORDE!"
The tube roars and the canister flies high into the air before falling back down and exploding on the ground, sending white flakes like burning snow everywhere. The guards around you scream in anguish as the burning flakes coat their bodies and get inside their lungs and eyes and the guards not close to the blast radius were either unconscious or desperately trying to aid their suffering comrades. The guard who was previously noogieing you lets go of you to start flailing and screaming in agony at the stuff in his eyes,
"IT BURRRRN-*POW*!!!"
"SHORYUKEN!"
You smash him in the jaw with a Shoryuken that launches him into the air and cause him to land groin-first (Ow...) onto a fence before looking around you in confusion and asking,
"What the buck are you all-"
It's those flakes! Selena says, Your cloak must be protecting you, but these fools aren't so lucky.
Looking around at the suffering ponies around you, you forego your own safety to stay behind and save them,
"Would you all kindly STOP BURNING AND CHLL!" you yell as you turn in every direction and blast everypony in sightwith your freeze power. Each second passes like hours as you watch them burn, desperately trying to save as many as you can. After a few moments, most of the ponies around you are frozen solid, but that's better than horribly burning to death. You angrily turn to the upper hoofball stadium level to see that the hooded figures are loading another cannister into the tube,
"OH NO YOU DON'T YOU JERKS! Would you all kindly BURN MOTHERBUCKERS!!!"
Suddenly, the tube catches fire causing it to explode, knocking the hooded ponies out of your view. Fortunately you that the way to the stadium entrance is now clear so you start to head in-
"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!"
When more squads of Royal Guards show up and medics awaken and heal quite a few of the unconcious guards. You sigh in annoyance as you reach into the Inventory and think,
On second thought, maybe it wasn't the smartest idea to challenge EVERY SINGLE GUARD IN THE CITY TO A HOOF FIGHT. Also I can't tell who's stained and who's straight and the time I'm wasting on these idiots could have been used beating Flag to a bloody pulp.
“Alright, enough of this, everyling GO THE BUCK TO SLEEP!” you yell as you raise the Luna Plushie.
The nearest guard just looks at you in confusion.
“What are you doing?” he asks.
“Huh?” you say confused.
“We’re in the middle of arresting you! Now’s not the time for dolls!”
“Bu…” you look around and no one is sleepy looking.
“Yeah,” chimes in another guard, “Besides, most of us don’t have our plushies with us at the moment, so you’ll just have to wait. I’ll bring my Andrea plushie from My Little Human.”
You and the other guards look at this stallion strangely as he chuckles nervously and shrinks under their gaze,
“Freaking Humanies... they're everywhere.”
"HEY! It's not just some stupid filly's serial! The writing blends self-aware humor with strong characterization!"
This sparks an argument between the Royal Guard ponies as you look at your plushie in confusion as you say,
“I don’t understand! Why isn't this working! It always works.”
Perhaps thou have broken it with overuse. Selena guesses.
“NO that can’t be it, hold on.” You say as you start turning the Luna Plushie around until you read the tag sticking out of her foot.
"A tag on a plushie? Who ever reads those?" you say as you read the fine print on the tag,
Bugze, use this adorable Plushie to peacefully knock out your foes, but use it sparingly as it only works a limited number of times before needing to recharge. Allons-y, The Doctor
“Oh, Buck!” you shout as you remember you just used it on Coco a little while ago.
What you don’t realize is that the guards have finished arguing and all jump on you in a dogpile.
“Double Buck!” you shout.
Even with the Damage reduction, this hurts you and you can’t breathe with that many bodies covering you and compressing your lungs
“Must... get... to... Flag...” you mutter as you start to lose consciousness, when all of a sudden a few of the guards are blasted off of you, giving you the chance to toss the rest off with a,
"SHORYUKEN!"
You take a moment to catch your breath and as you do another stallion charges right at you with a sword from behind as Selena starts to shout a warning, but a blast of green magic throws him away from you.
“What in the...” you say as you look to the source and see a pink pony mare with two stallions who are looking at you intently.
“Who...” you begin to ask before you hear something very familiar.
You gasp in surprise at the familiar sound as you see their eyes turn completely blue, "Stop the Madstallion, 9001," you gasp at the usage of your old drone number, "we will contact you when it's safe."
They then decloak, revealing their true Changeling bodies.
"Changelings!" shouts many guards.
"Get them!"
"Kill them!"
The changelings then dash off down the streets as most of the guards chase after them.
“Ch-ch-changelings! Here? Now? But…where have they been?”
Ask questions later! You now have an opening! shouts your friend upstairs.
With everyling running after them your path is mostly clear, so you decide to put your old brethren to the back of your mind as you charge through the downed guards and into the stadium. Running through the hallways towards the field, a few Horde fanatics are in your way,
"PSYCHO CRUSHER!"
"NO SHADOW KICK!"
"Would you kindly MOVE B****! GET OUT THE WAY!!!"
But they're not much of an obstacle.
As you get near the opening to the field, you see... a buff-looking guard who's surrounded by various empty liquor bottles. He looks at you and shouts drunkenly,
''Do you even lift brah!' This is jus grat! First panies in hoods start acting like granches, then the guards show up, and now 12 keggers of beer later I'm seeing black cloaks with orange eyes- hic!"
Deciding that you didn't want to hurt this drunk, you try to insult him to make him go away,
''Yo mama is a cow!''
Why art thou insulting his mom?
I panicked, OK?
The guard looks confused,
''Dude my mom is a cow how did you know? Now I think about it, I think that was an insult, so Taste my hoof..."
He lazily lashes a drunken hoof at you that tasted like pain and in reflex you slapped the guard back.
''Bro! Not cool bro not cool.'' the massive stallion says before walking away.
"FALCON PUNCH!"
And you smash him into the tunnel wall with a falcon punch after deciding to knock this drunk out before he does something stupid. You rush out onto the field to see Flag Burner and his lackeys along with many scared ponies in the stands. Flag Burner seems to notice you as he smiles (you think, you know cause of his hood) evilly at you and says,
“Offender! I knew I heard a ruckus outside. Should've guessed that was your doing. Guess Coco needs a talking to...”
“She wasn't that hard to go through.” you growl at him.
“Guess you were too much stallion for the lady to handle. Next time I'll leave you with more mares to provide you with horizontal refreshment. Still, she does need to be punished for her weakness-”
"I don’t hurt my own, in case you've forgotten... unlike some.” he says with a sneer towards the corpse of Iron Shield before continuing "Although I was highly wishing to speak to Captain Armor, this is a nice surprise. Have you changed your mind?”.
“No Flag, no one else is going to die tonight...” your eyes glow a more intense orange as you growl, “Except maybe for you...”
You can just tell he's smirking as he says,
“You’re welcome to try sir... but just so you know, you strike us now, you make yourself our enemy.”
"You don't scare me, I just mopped the floor with a battalion of guards, what are you gonna do?" you reply.
"Oh I don't know, unleash my trap maybe?"
"Horseapples! You've only got four... goons... left?"
You look around and many of the "Scared" ponies start put on cloaks as they start walking towards the field and gather around Flag Burner.
"Oh... " you start when all of a sudden the entrance behind you blows apart and the Royal Guards rush in as more start to fly in from above. A quite a few of them are scorched, bruised, or still shivering, but it seems they've forgotten the changelings.
"ALL OF YOU GET ON THE GROUND AND PUT YOUR FRONT LIMBS BEHIND YOUR HEADS OR WE WILL USE FORCE!" A Royal Guard officer on a bullhorn declares, but is met by shouts of "For the Horde!", "Die Imperial Puppets!", and "Buck the Police!" from the Horde fanatics as Flag just looks at you (you just know he's smirking beneath that faceless hood) before he turns around and starts walking away, his fanatics parting for him like water before a waterbender.
"Where are you going?" you question
"Got places to be, ponies to meet. I still need to have my chat with Shining Armor after all. Boys, on my mark..."
He and his four Elite members (marked by their black coats having shades of Red, Dark Blue, Brown, and Light Blue) then continue walking away and you growl and shout,
"GET BACK HERE YOU-"
Your threat is interrupted when Flag Burner merely waves a hoof dismissively and the Horde Fanatics take their cue to charge forth at you and the Royal Guards as the Royal Guards charge in as well. As you realize your in the middle of these two you say,
"Buck you lady luck."
Use Forcefield and dodge to navigate the stadium brawl.
*wham wham wham*
Fortunately, you remembered your forcefield spell and with the Armored Tonic and enhanced Phase 1 strength, quite a few Guards and Fanatics bounce off your shield and attack each other.
You quickly lower your shield and use your dodge training and parkour to navigate the massive stadium free-for-all towards Flag Burner (you can tell it's him because he's the only one not fighting and he's the only one walking with his lackeys as everypony else runs and brawls around you). As you're about to reach Flag, you see out of the corner of your eye...
[quoteAs the melee in the hoofball stadium rages around you, you spot the bomb. You rush towards it only to get dogpiled by alot of Guards and Horde. In your rage, you blast away the ponies in a yell of energy leaving you there with the Nightmare Cloak formed around you and one Nightmare Tail waving around.The Bomb!
You growl in annoyance as you know the bomb is your main priority, so you ignore Flag and charge towards it, but before you do-
"THE FALSE OFFENDER!!!"
"ARREST HIM!!!"
"DIBS ON THE BOUNTY!"
"I LIKE TRAINS!"
You suddenly find yourself buried under a large dog pile of fanatics and guards. As more ponies start to pile you, you can't help but think,
NO! It can't end like this! I won't let it end like this! I need to save those ponies! I need to save the holidays! I need... I need... MORE POWER!
With that thought you roar in anger and release and explosion of energy that send everypony in a few yard/meter radius around you flying.
Everypony stops what they're doing in fear and confusion as they look at where the Offender was dogpiled, but instead they see a monster covered in a midnight misty cloak with one midnight fox tail swishing behind it. You look over to Flag, and you just know he's glaring at you in both anger and little bit of fear. You grin evilly as you roar,
"Alrighty then... WARMUP'S OVER!!!"
Spike a pony (either Royal Guard or Horde) headfirst into the ground with a cry of "TOUCHDOWN!"
Remembering your priority, you lash out with the tail and grab the bomb with it before wildly whipping it around you with increasing speed to knock away Fanatics and Guards dumb enough to get too close before jumping into the air and whirling the bomb around yourself to gain even more momentum.
"TOUCHDOWN!" you yell as you spike the bomb into the ground with enough force to send it crashing alot of meters underground through layers of concrete and earth before whipping out the Power Glove and declaring,
"Would you kindly FREEZE!"
Which freezes the hole in the ground shut, but now the ice crystals are much larger and are a dark blue color. The bomb then explodes, but the ground harmlessly muffles the explosion and the ice is instantly evaporated into water that explodes upwards before coming back down in a psuedo-rainfall.
You smirk in the rain in satisfaction at disarming the bomb as everypony continues to look at you stunned when...
"THE TRUE OFFENDER HAS JOINED US! LET US CELEBRATE HIS ARRIVAL BY SACRIFICING THESE IMPERIAL PUPPETS" a hooded Horde fanatic yells before tearing out a chair from the stadium seating and charging at the nearest Guard. With that the brawl continues, but in the rain.
As you look at the massive muddy melee around you, you can't help but think,
You know, this would be ALOT more interesting if instead of armored guards and hooded crazies, they were all Vanner's Secret models and Playcolt playma-NO! BAD BUG!!!
IMBECILE! Even now you continue these thoughts?!
Snapping out of your thoughts, you roar in the Royal Canterlot Voice,
"ENOUGH OF THIS!"
Use a massive Nightmare Cloak-fueled FUS RO DAH to blast everypony (Guard and Horde) out of the stadium and into the city. Use Nightmare Tail to launch yourself like a rocket and land in the Center City area where everypony as recovered from the "Fus ro dah" and is now continuing fighting in the streets.
Knowing that everyone wants to hurt you and seeing how this is probably going to be the best way to end the melee, you don't feel that guilty for what you are about to do.
Selena?
Yes?
This is gonna hurt...
You then take in the biggest gulp of air you've ever had, as you unleash your mightiest roar at your hooves,
FUS ROH DAH!!!
This combined with the hoofball stadium's shape causes a massive wave of energy that lifts everyone up and out of the stadium and flying into the sky towards downtown Fillydelphia. Luckily, most of Guards and Fanatics either used their unicorn magic or Pegasus flying abilities to make sure no one died-
*smash*
Although you did end up smashing into a building wall...
Before falling off that 5th-story wall and smashing onto a cabbage cart.
"Ow..." you mutter as you get up from the wreckage. You feel completely drained from that. Not easy lifting up hundreds of ponies with only your voice, so your Nightmare Cloak wavers as you groggily walk forward-
*WHAM*
And are then tackled by a few Pegasus guards who start beating on you, (*zap wham pow*), but they get blasted, tackled, and beaten off you. You look up and see your saviors... and see they're the Horde.
"The false offender! Take him out as well!" they shout,
"Oh COME ON!" you shout as you lash out with your tail to a nearby lamppost and slingshot yourself away. You suddenly grab the edges of your coat and start to float and as you glide through downtown, you see that the entire area has erupted into a full blown battlefield with rioting and brawling. Among the highlights:
-Pegasus fight in the skies and tackle/lightning each other through billboards and windows. By some miracle, they barely manage to miss you
-Looters run into store and carry away toys, furniture, and dirty magazines.
-You see a group of Horde fanatics Royal Guardponies taking a snack break from the fighting to eat some Filly cheeseshroom hoagies and discuss the Rocky movies... then continue fighting when the bill arrives.
Your luck runs out when a Horde unicorn zaps a Pegasus guard out of the air and his unconcious body crashes into yours and sends you both smashing into the ground. As you get up, you hear...
You hear music and someling say; "Fire up loud, Another round of shots..." You look up to see a particularly crazed/stupid pony on a roof about to perform a... groindrop (?) in slowmotion as he yells out "TURN DOWN FOR WHAT!!!" Before smashing through the floors of the building causing everypony fighting in the floors of that building to all collapse in a pile on the ground floor
Before smashing through the roof and half the floors of the building causing everypony fighting in the floors of that building to all collapse in a pile on the ground floor. The turnip-stallion then starts going around and hip-thrusting fanatics and guards alike into and through walls and furniture to the beat.
After that display, all you can think is...
"What the buck was that all a-*wham*"
In the middle of your shocked thinking, you get run over by a carriage with one Horde stallion pulling and the other in the carriage throwing Molotov cocktails everywhere screaming/singing,
"DECK THE STREETS WITH FIERY DEATH!!! FA LA LA LA LA*fling smash crash ka-boom* AHHHHHHHHH!!!"
You grabbed a manhole cover with your tail and flung it at the pyromaniacs, shattering the wheel and causing it to crash into a carrot-dog stand where it exploded and flung the (miraculously still alive but on fire) ponies into a fountain.
"You got your second wind back?" you ask Selena.
I have no choice but to have it back! she shouts.
You growl in anger as your eyes glow orange, your nightmare tail swishes, and you begin to release more Killer Intent...
A group of Pegasi guards come in at you from behind, thinking that a decisive sneak attack couldn't possible fail...
*klang*
But they were quickly and painfully proven wrong when your Nightmare Tail lashes out, grabs a lamppost, and smashes the lead pegasus into a nearby Horde fanatic, sending them both through a storefront window. As the Pegasus start to scatter and circle you, you slam your tail into the ground to launch yourself into the air and cry out,
"NO SHADOW KICK!"
As an unlucky pegasus ate a flurry of kicks to the face before the you use the last kick to launch yourself off his face and at another pegasus,
"FALCON PUNCH!"
And fire-punch him into a billboard which collapses and flattens a group of Horde ponies who were throwing bombs. The third, particularly fast, pegasus slams into you, but you slap the sides of his ears disorienting him so you can turn him in midair and use him as a shield as you both smash through the thin damaged fourth floor wall of a building. You get up from the unconscious Pegasus and look out the broken wall to see Guards and fanatics viciously fighting in the streets below...
-You start machine-gun-casting Stun Spells
From your higher vantage point, your horn glows and you start making it rain stun spells on the combatants, knocking out many fighters and forcing the others to flee.
*BOOM*
Suddenly, your rapid-fire spelling stops when the building collapses and you barely manage to jump out in time-
*zap*
Only to be zapped in midair up a spell and knocked through a storefront window. You groggily get back up-
Dodge!
You rolled across the ground in time to just barely dodge a fireball spell. You silently thanked the Apples and Selena as you glanced at the smoke and cinders before glaring at a trio of cloaked and armored Unicorns whose horns were at the ready as a squad of Royal Guard stand behind them.
"This is far as you'll go! Surrender now, and we won't use lethal force!" a mare ordered.
"The mages are here! They'll definitely turn this around!" you overhear someling say.
Mages? The SWAT of the Royal Guards, huh? Well, let's see if these hotshots could handle this!
"Oh? Well, would you kindly CHILL OUT!" you cry as you slam the power glove into the ground, but to everypony's surprise instead of a floor of ice, a focused SHOCKWAVE of midnight-blue ice shot straight at the mages.
Quickly, the mages started lobbing fireballs at the ice which explosively expelled dense steam across the area, blinding everypony in a fog.
"Make a circle! He could be anywhere now," the mare said and the Guards follow suit, standing flank to flank in a circle waiting for an attack from every direction...
The last thing one stallion saw was your deadly orange eyes in the fog as you came in from above and lashed out your nightmare tail into his face. The lead mage teleported her comrades slightly dazed away from danger, who briefly thanked him for the save and went in formation with the rest of the guard, although thoroughly demoralized.
Not caring for fancy tactics, you charged at the group with intent to smash through them like a bowling ball,
"PSYCHO CRUSH-*thud*"
Only for the mages to throw up a shield that stops your attack dead in its tracks. As you shake off that headache, *wham* one of the mages ran up and bucked you in the face, knocking you into a wall. As you get back up, another mage casted an ice spell and freezes your hooves to the floor. A few guards come in charging with spears only to get soundly smacked away by a swish of your nightmare tail as you grab one and throw him at the mages causing them to scatter to dodge it.
You worked to get off the ice as the guards pulled away, only for the mages to reinforce the ice.
Seriously?! Well two can play at that game...
"Would you kindly CHILL OUT!" you roar, your own ice erupting from your Power Glove... and trapping you in a cocoon of cold ice.
Amazingly enough, there was a pause in the intense fight as they notice this.
"Did-did he just freeze himself?" one of them comments
"Well that's just stupid!"
"Seriously, are we sure he's the real deal?!"
Fortunately, there was enough room around your mouth to speak,
"Would you kindly BURN!"
With that, the ice explodes, the shards violently forcing the mages to scatter and take cover as you stand there on fire.
Thank you fire-proof coat. you think before charging at the mages...
*splash*
Only to suddenly be splashed with a bucket of water. You could only turn to the mare with a compromising trail of water leading towards her and say in annoyed disbelief,
Next to the mare, another unicorn mage (the one that bucked you in the face) lit up his horn, electric sparks sparking.
"No," he says smugly.
"Oh buck me..."
The unicorn sent a lightning spell to the trail of water and electrocutes you as a barrage of magical lasers and fireballs slams into you before it culminates in an explosion.
"And... That 1k bounty is ours!" the unicorn said cheekily.
"Oh that's definitely MORE than 1k. Around 8 million more, although he's still more trouble than he's actually worth..." the mare adds.
The mages smirked, but when smoke cleared, they gasped to see the Offender still standing! With TWO TAILS this time. And devil horns begin to spurt from your head
"...Lady of Ouch."
Eyes nearly popped out as some of the guard said in unison "You've got to be kidding me!"
The fireball unicorn cried, "I don't understand, we gave everything we've got!"
Huffing and Puffing, you growled,
"I'll be honest, that really, really hurt, and probably more if I weren't fire resistant. And all of that for a measly 1K bounty? I'd give you an A-minus for the excessive amount of effort you've put into it, but that's besides the point..."
You then roar in the RCV,
"Are you honestly so daft you would go after me instead of stopping all these fanatics running around and destroying this city?! Get out of my way AND DO YOUR BUCKING JOBS!!!"
With that, you lash out and grab two of the mages with your nightmare tails. Noticing more incoming fanatics and yell,
"LET ME SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE!"
Before using the mages as clubs and flailing them around to smack away Fanatics before slamming tho two mages together and finally slamming them both onto a overturned carraige, smashing it. You notice the other mage running away as you yell,
Violently grab the face of the unicorn that electrocuted you and fry his brain with a point-blank face-grabbing "Would you kindly EAT LIGHTNING!" (nonlethal of course, but that mage is gonna be half-brain-dead for a few weeks...)
"WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING!"
With that, you use your tails to slingshot into the fleeing mage and you grab his face with your Power Glove before using your flight momentum to slam his head into a wall.
"Let's see how you like it..." you growl evily and the mage starts to flail and muffled scream with his face still in the grasp of your Power Glove before you declare,
"Now would you kindly EAT LIGHTNING!!"
And electrocute the mage with a point-blank Elctro-Bolt to the face. Dropping the unconscious (though probably half-braindead) stallion, you turn and hear more fighting in the distance. You launch yourself with your tails and land in the Prench Quarter where you see Royal Guards and Horde fanatics continuing to fight (you even see a trio of Royal Guards and a whole bunch of Horde fanatics dueling with stale baguettes). You shout,
“It’s the holidays you morons! If anyling’s gonna do any smashing, it’s gonna be ME!”
And with that, you grab tear a lamppost out of the ground with one tail, grab a taxi carriage with the other, and just start smashing every motherbucker in sight. You might have gotten a little carried away-
“TAXI!” *smash* “HOW BOUT YOU LET ME SHINE A LIGHT ON THE PROBLEM!” *klang* "VIVA LA ME!!!" *crush* “Uhhh… ONE LINER!!!” *BOOM*
Okay, maybe you went all captain crazy-go-nuts there as Guards and Fanatics alike are now fleeing from your rampage. However, your activity was stopped when magic shielding surrounds you.
The shielding suddenly wraps itself around you and whips you high into the air before slamming you down several floors of an abandoned building before it collapses on you. As you use your tails to throw the rubble off you, you noticed that the coloration was a distinctly familiar pink-
"Hooded Offender!" yelled the familiar voice of Shining Armor, "Get your flank back here NOW!"
When you emerge, you find Shining Armor has recovered and taken the field. And he doesn't look like he's in a talking mood anymore... Some Horde members attempt to hit the obvious guard stallion with Molotov Cocktails, only for it to harmlessly shatter against a shield he erected without even an aside glance. You immediately attempt a Psycho Crusher, only for Shining to pull some surprising competence out of his flank, and swats you down with a shield he whips around you like a fly swatter.
In your head, Selena notes this, and gets almost giddy,
I've been wanting to see what made him worthy of an alicorn's heart...!
Suddenly blood red letters and a deep voice echo above you that read/say,
Shining wastes no time going on the offensive, the shield he's projecting only about as large as he is, but whipping around like a weapon in itself. You're forced to back away as it cleaves through the air, hissing as it clears a path. You retaliate with,
"NO SHADOW KICK!"
Only to hear your flurry of kicks clang uselessly as if you're striking metal. The thunderous impact sounds make your ears ring, but in your irritation turned surprise, you realize that this is the same stallion that put up a city-sized shield, and he's now projecting that power to a cross section the tiniest fraction of the size and you realize something,
I'm not breaking that anytime soon, am I?
You attempt a few more creative moves (and by that we mean you just spam Falcon Punch as you slam on the shield with your tails), but come up short when Shining simply projects his shield forward, intercepting your attacks with explosive force. He then slams his sheild against your head dazing you. While you're stunned, he winds the shield back as you're left open and you're slammed into another building taking out the wall in the process and causing it t collapse on you.
Impressive... Selena comments, I thought making him the Captain of the Guard was just politics...
That's sparkle butt's brother alright, you mentally gasp from your rubble pile, I guess great magical power just runs in the family.
Any further conversation is interrupted when a Horde Fanatic disguised as a guard (or maybe just a corrupt guard) pounces at Shining with his spear and the prince manages to dive and roll in time to avoid getting skewered by a spear, and then throws up his shield to deflect a wild swing.
The fanatic/guard puts up a pretty good impression of looking like he knows what he's doing, long enough to keep Shining from noticing another Fanatic going for an attack from behind.
"PSYCHO CRUSHER!"
You explode out of the rubble and slam into the would-be ambusher with the force of... well, what IS comparable to a psycho crusher?
You grab the fanatic with your tail and start pounding him around the place before hurling him at a flying fanatic dropping bombs (at hitting him).
Dodge!
You duck just in time to have a razor-edged section of shining's shield pass through the spot where your head would had been.
"Hey!" you snap, "That was uncalled for you ungrateful jerk!"
"I was going to deal with him myself!" he snaps back from atop a piece of rubble
Your anger fueling your ability, you smash your tails into the ground to launch yourself at Shining, barely dodging his attempt to swat you with another shield, and bounce off the area just below the rubble before connecting a blow to his nards. The blow sends prince stumbling back in pain, but it turns out that he can take that kind of blow alot better than most stallion as he says,
"If that did any real damage, Cadance would castrate you."
Wait, he can shrug off nutshots! Well... it does make sense. If you're gonna be the husband of an alicorn, you better have lots of lower endurance...
Seriously?
You don't give Selena's mental comment a second thought as you close in on Shining's lowered defenses. The two of you exchange several evenly matched blows and blocks before his horn flashes, and that blasted shield smashes you into a cart of cabbages.
"MY BACKUP CABBAGES! WHY DO THEY KEEP GETTING DESTROYED!"
This causes you (and surprisingly Shining too) to shout,
"WHAT THE BUCK ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE?! GET OUT OF HERE NOW!"
"This is getting annoying!" you growl as you jump out of your fresh landscaping (and grabbing a nearby lighter).
"Time for Prince flambe!" you yell as you ignite the lighter in one hoof and use the other to grab a can of WD-40 from the Inventory and spray it. This results in a stream of fire that Shining easily shields against, but you keep moving around the stream to obscure his vision before you throw the volatile can to his Shining's side.
Shining's reflexes are fast and he shields himself in time as the spray can explodes, but you take advantage of his distraction to launch yourself with your nightmare tails and take out your staff before smashing Shining in the face with it using your momentum. As he reels from the impact, you twirl the staff before slamming it into the ground and hitting the Prince with a point-blank shockwave that sends him smashing through a building.
"HAH!" you shout, "Take that Sir Shines-A-Lot!"
If it's one thing I've learned, it's never gloat in combat-
*WHAM!*
You're suddenly tackled through another wall. You look up in anger and growl as you see it's Flash that did that. Before he can come in again, a pair of Pegasus Horde Fanatics rush him forcing Flash to divert his attention to fighting them off. You get up from the rubble, but you start to breath deeply as you feel like collapsing. You hear Selena say,
Minds Eye's comment
Hooded Offender needs food badly!
Well... *pant*... done... you mentally reply at her picking up references.
Your constant references are contagious. In all seriousness, I need some time to regain some of my strength. Can thou rest for a minute?
You get hit by a stray unicorn zap and get knocked into the shelf in the room.
Yeah, I don't think that's going to be an option.
You then spot a clipboard on the ground.
Unless...
If you say, "Look! A distraction!" I swear-
No, I'm going to BE the distraction!
You pick up the clipboard as you charge up the last of your lung energy (mentally apologizing profusely to your sore throat) and scream in the RCV,
"ROLL CALL!"
All the action stops as you quickly call out,
"Shining Armor!"
He looks around in confusion, holding up a shield as some civilians behind him evacuate.
"Here?"
"Good! Flash Sentry?"
No one answers.
"Flash Sentry!"
"Here," a voice mutters behind you.
You turn to see Flash Sentry standing behind you with a broken parking meter in his hooves,
"You stay where I can see you, Mr. Sentry! Do you understand?" you bark in an authoritative tone,
"Yes, sir," he instinctively salutes before and walking into the mob in front of you.
"Good. Moving on: Random Horde Member 17?"
One of the cloaked figures raises a hoof,
"I think you knocked him out when you dropped a wall on him... after Falcon Punching him in the nards... and whacking him in the face with a stop sign-"
Another one shakes his head and interrupts, "No, I'm 17 this week. That was 42."
You tap a hoof impatiently,
"So?"
"Oh! Here!"
"Thank you- Ah, would you look at this?"
You tap the clipboard and continue,
"Anyone here follow their horoscope? If you're a Gemini, you going to meet a special Leo today!"
One of the Horde, an earth pony lying on his back with a pegasus Royal Guard sitting on him with a menacingly raised hoof, perks up,
"I'm a Gemini!"
"Get out," the guard says, "I'm a Leo!"
"No way!" They hoof bump. "You like comics?"
"You know it!"
As... surprisingly effective as this has been, I am restored and ready for the next round whenever you are.
You grin,
"Then I only have one thing left to say."
You take a breath and screm the one thing you've always wanted to scream as you leap back into the melee.
"FUS RO DAH!!!"
In spite of your pained throat, you smirk as you see you managed to blast everypony away, but there's still alot of fighting and rioting going on around you. You need to stop it, but how...
Getting any idea, you use your tails and parkour to get to the roof tops and start spamming Psycho Crushers and Falcon Punches to knock down water towers and flood the brawling streets. With that done you take a deep breath and think,
This is gonna hurt...
Before you jump off the top of the building, raise the Power Glove back, and yell,
"Would you all kindly have a SHOCKING revelation?!" and slam your glove down into the water, sending out a wave of electricity that electrocutes unconscious almost all of the combatants.
Luckily, the only shock you receive is through your glove, which lights you up and sends you smashing into another store. You get back up from the overturned clothing and see that you landed in a Vanner's Secret store,
*SPURT*
Goes your nose as you groggily get up and see most of your foes down, and the others wobbiling about. You then decide to take a minute to rest, but then you spot Flag Burner walking with his four Elites down the street as if nothing's happened.
"OI!" you shout as you run out of the store and point your hoof at him.
Flag Burner stops and looks at you smugly (at least you guess due to his faceless hood) as he says,
"So this is the true power of the Offender. The power of a monster."
You growl in anger, before you smirk evilly and say,
You say to Flag Burner and his followers "I don't know if I want to mop the floor with you separately or all at once, so we're going to do both."
"I don't know if I should mop the floor with you separately or all at once, so we're going to do both!"
Flag Burner just smirks (again, guessing due to his hood) as he says,
"Give it your best shot... master."
You growl in anger as you yell,
“Would you Kindly Burn!” You shout as you send a flame right at him, which is stopped when a wall of water comes right in front of him. “Wha? But, magic can’t stop these…” “Magic isn’t the answer to everything sir, there are other powers out there…” You then see his four elites walk forth. One is manipulating water, one is causing rock columns to appear, and the others are manipulating fire and air. “And Element Bending is quite the powerful field.” You remember the last time you were up against an element bender, your own daughter no less. “…Oh Buck…”
“Would you kindly GO TO TARTARUS!!!” as you send fire right at him from the Power Glove, but it's stopped when a wall of water comes right in front of him. You stare in disbelief and say,
“Wha? But, magic can’t stop these...”
“Unicorn spells aren't the only type of magic, sir, there are other powers out there...”
You then see his four hooded and cloaked elites walk forth. The Dark Blue-cloaked unicorn fashions a water whip, the Brown-cloaked earth pony stomps to start raising columns of concrete around him, the Red-cloaked other unicorn shoots out flames from his hooves, and the Light Blue-cloaked Pegasus one makes an air sphere form around him as he hovers.
“And Element Manipulation is quite the powerful field.”
You remember the last time you were up against an element bender (your own daughter no less) and mutter,
This is serious. This is very serious. The last time you fought an element bender, you got your ass whooped, and rewatching the anime constantly has taught you all too well what these ponies can do. They can lift tanks, make weapons with ice, burn villages to the ground. You've got to... cut out this crap. You're going to psych yourself out.
As you and the Element Benders begin to circle each other as Flag looks on with a smug smile and your Nightmare Tails swish menacingly behind you, you think,
This is serious. VERY serious. The last time I fought an element bender, I got my flank whooped, and that was just my daughter! If the serial is accurate, these guys can lift carriages, make weapons with ice, burn whole villages to the ground- Focus bug, focus! You're gonna psych yourself out at this rate...
Your twin tails swing behind you threateningly as you say,
"I'd advise you all to back down now. I'm only here to beat Flag Burner into the ground and then throw him into a nice, dark, spider-infested cell. If you all leave now, we can just pretend none of this ever happened."
While three of the Benders growl, the only mare in the group (the waterbender) smiles smugly before saying,
"Sorry, but I've been paid alot of bits to beat you into the ground. And while these other guys are mindless follows, I actually want to walk away with some moolah. Nothing personal, just business. I hope you understand."
You stop walking in circles as you look at Flag in confusion and ask,
"Wait, you hired a waterbender mercenary but the rest of these idiots are Fanatics?"
Flag just shrugs as he says,
"The Revolution was coming and I needed a water manipulator to complete my S.M.A.S.H. and Aqua just so happened to be in the area when I needed one. She certainly wasn't cheap, but as the rightful Offender, I must have a full circle of manipulators to protect me."
You growl in anger as you say,
"You're not the Offender! You're just a madstallion who needs to be placed in a nice padded room. Besides, Puddle over here won't be protecting you for long- Wait, what the hay is SMASH?"
"Special Manipulators Allied for Social upHeval." He answers while emphasizing the 'h', "My elite guard and personal sword in changing this world. In all honesty, I really wanted an acronym that spelled out something."
The waterbender mercenary glares at you as she says,
"The name’s Aqua, try to remember that before I drown you."
You smirk slightly as you look over to her and say,
"Bring it on... Puddle."
And with that you and the benders charge at each other,
While you have the raw power, they have the numbers and refinement to go horn to horn (Minotaur expression) with you in fight. Brown-Cloak's earth bending made moving around the terrain very hard when he's not pummeling you with boulders. When taking the high ground with your parkour, White-Cloak took that route away by making it near impossible to be a viable option. Seriously, while that wind bender only does peanut damage, his crowd control was nothing to sneeze at. Dark Blue-Cloak just adapted to whatever move you do. If this were a fight with only ONE element, then maybe you could at least pry at the weaknesses and push your advantages. Well, at least you can still teleport. Can't forget about teleport.
While you have the raw power, they have the numbers and refinement to go horn-to-horn (Minotaur expression there folks) with you in fight.
Brown-Cloak's earthbending made moving around the terrain very hard when he's not pummeling you with boulders. When you try to take the high ground with your parkour, White-Cloak took that route away by making it near impossible to be a viable option. Seriously, while that airbender only does peanut damage, his crowd control was nothing to sneeze at. Aqua just keeps adapting to whatever move you do.
Luna, if this were a fight with only ONE element, then maybe I could at least pry at the weaknesses and push your advantages.
You barely dodge a fire-air blast as you think,
Well, at least I can still teleport. Can't forget about teleport.
Speaking of teleporting, you should do that now since a gigantic boulder is coming your way!
Thinking quickly, you teleport to a nearby building just before the boulder could squash you like... well like a bug. You sigh in relief and are about to dive back into the fray when...
Dodge!
Doing just as Selena says you dodge just in time before Aqua could smack you with her water whip. You look at her in surprise as you think,
What the!? How did she get up her-oh wait... she's a unicorn duh!
Now's not the time for this! Fight you fool!
Right right, okay bring it you-what the...!
The water bender lashes out first, their whip aimed for your head. Their speed is astounding. You move as quickly as you can, ducking around their lash and maneuvering behind them. "Eat fire, you maniac. FALCON PUNCH!" Your Punch sends the waterbender flying into a building, smashing into the side.
Aqua lashes out another water whip at your head with outstanding speed. As you barley dodge another one of Aqua's water whips, you can't help but ask,
"Why are you doing this!? For a few- Whoa! -measly bits! You do know what Flag Burner is planing right?"
Aqua responds to your question with another whip attack, this time hitting you on the back, before she says,
"Sorry buddy, the pity is when I'm paid, I always follow my job through."
You dodge a few more whips as you can't help but think,
Why are all the mares I fight INSANE! OR AT THE VERY LEAST SUPER STUBBORN!
You move as quickly as you can, ducking around another one of her whips and maneuvering behind them. You get a opening soon enough so, smirking, you charge at her from behind and yell,
"Eat fire, Puddle! FALCON PUNCH!"
Your flame-covered hoof slams into Aqua's face and sends her flying onto the side of a building. You quickly follow up with,
"Would you kindly ELECTRIC BOLT!!!" causing lightning to hit Aqua dead on. It wasn't enough to knock her out, but it did send her flying into a nearby building with a smash. You smile at you hoofy work, but frown in panic as the building you were on starts shaking and falling to the ground when rock pillars smash into the base! You quickly teleport to the ground, but sadly for you...
You are focused in the battle with Flag Burner when somepony throw you a glass bottle that break after hit you "Hey! Don't throw things!!" Shout Bugzee As he say that another pony throw a jar of a strange yellow liquid transforming the hooded offender in the yellow offender. As Bugzee smell it. "Agggh!!! Jarate!!! Who the hell throw me Jarate?" Shout Bugzee confused but no one answer
*shatter*
You are hit with a glass bottle that breaks after it hits you. You look around in confusion as you shout,
"Hey! Don't throw things!!"
As you say that another jar with a strange yellow liquid shatters on you. Somehow it transforms your nightmare colored cloak into a yellow one and you smell your cloak in suspicion, but you reel back in disgust as you shout,
"Agggh!!! Jarate!!! Who the hay is throwing Jarate?"
As you glare around hatefully for whoever threw that Jarate at you, the Earthbender (let's call him Rocky, okay?) manged to shoulder-tackle you to the ground before bending a boulder at you. You barely dodge it before,
"FALCON PUNCH!"
You punch him straight into a nearby boulder, but before you do anything else you notice...
Red-Cloak... You're fire proof, and ended up helping you. Looking at yourself, set on fire courtesy to Red-Cloak, you sigh in longing over the memories it resurfaced. You looked at the fire bender and smiled. "Thanks for the bonus points in fire damage~!" The fire bender could only gape.
You grin, before you realize that the fire on your hoof hasn't died out yet. Suddenly, it spreads, engulfing your entire body. You scream in surprise. The firebender laughs, probably taking it for pain. Snarling at him, you use one of your tails like a spring, launching yourself at the laughing douche. You tackle him to the ground, hefting the power glove in his face. "You should know that I've fought a dragon," you gloat. "I'd have to be fireproof." "Perhaps," the bender replies, his voice unnervingly soft, "But there are ways around that." The ground beneath you suddenly explodes in a blast of fire that sends you flying. You crash into the ground, rising slowly to your hooves.
That the fire on your hoof hasn't died out yet. Suddenly, it spreads and engulfs your entire body! You scream in surprise causing the firebender to laughs (probably mistaking it for pain). Snarling at him, you use one of your tails like a spring to launch yourself at the laughing jerk and tackle him to the ground before grabbing his face with your Power Glove,
"You should know that I've fought dragons," you gloat. "Of course I'm fireproof."
You then smile as you say,
"But thanks for the bonus points in fire damage! Now hold still so I can punch ya!"
"Perhaps," the bender replies, his voice unnervingly soft, "But there are ways around that."
Suddenly, his back hooves kick into your stomach and sends you flying with a twin-leg-blast of fire before smashing through a window. As your fiery form slowly gets up, you notice that S.M.A.S.H. has regrouped and is now circling you, but once you see that you're on fire, you smirk... insanely. The benders begin to charge at you...
*smack smack smack smack*
But you whip your two tails around and smack them all away as you start to laugh insanely,
The debris of the explosion suddenly begin to float, swirling around you.
"Bucking earthbenders," you growl as the rocks start zooming towards you, one by one. You blast them with volleys of magic, but each time a rock breaks into smaller pieces and those pieces just shoot back at you. Before long you're being pummeled from all directions,
"Enough of this," you cry. "FUS RO DAH!"
Your roar of power disintegrates all the floating debris and knocks back all the benders. The earthbender recovers first and sends a pillar of concrete rushing in your direction. You hold out your forelegs and take the attack (thanks goodness for Armor Shell), but still get pushed backwards, your hind legs dragging along the ground as the pillar pushes you backwards. With a cry of rage, you dig your nightmare tails into the earth, slowing your backwards movement to a stop. Wrapping the tails around the pillar, you tear it from the ground and take aim, preparing to heft it at the benders when Aqua rushes forwards, coating the ground you stand on in a sheet of ice. You lose your footing and crash to the ground, the pillar landing beside you as well. You struggle to your feet, but Aqua creates a blade of ice and jumps at you with intent to decapitate,
"Would you kindly Burn, motherbucker!," you cry as you shoot a burst of fire from your hoof, knocking her backwards and melting away her blade. The jet of fire continues, though, snaking around until it impacts a building behind you. The firebender laughs again as debris rains down from above. You cast your forcefield to ward off the falling rocks, before you balance yourself on your tails to spring forwards, Your hoof lighting aflame as you cry,
"FALCON-"
Suddenly a blast of wind knocks you off course and you slam to the ground. You struggle to your feet, glaring at the airbender, who makes another series of gestures as the firebender lights a small flame in his hooves and the smoke suddenly expands, the gusts billowing it out so it swirls around you. You glance this way and that, trying to see through the obscuring smog, before suddenly a pillar of rock shoots from the mist.
You dodge around it, only to find a pillar of ice launched at you next. Weaving and ducking as beams of stone and ice spring out from every angle, you begin to grow tired until finally a pillar of earth catches you unaware, launching you out of the smoke ring and to the feet of the firebender.
"I am going to enjoy this," he sneers before detonating the ground beneath you with a furious fireblast which sends you flying through the air towards Aqua who conjures a baseball bat made of ice before swinging it at your flying figure,
"Home run!" she shouts with glee as she slams you another direction, this time aimed at the airbender. By now, your glowing eyes are shut, giving you the appearance of a lifeless corpse.
"I've got him," the airbender grins as he fires a blast of wind that fires you towards Rocky, "Time to wrap this combo up!"
"Nope!" you suddenly say as you twist around midair, your eyes snapping back open, "Time for the combo-breaker! Psycho Crusher!"
You slam into Rocky, knocking him from his hooves and you both skid to a stop beneath the shadow of a tall building.
"I've had enough of this. Time to even the playing field," you declare as you pin the earthbender to the ground with one tail. You wrap the other around your fist as you say,
"I think one-on-three sounds much more fun. FALCON... PUNCH!!!"
...Except you slam your fist into yourself, the attack launching you over the earthbender and closer to the building's base.
"Ow," you groan as you rise slowly to your legs. You look at your hoof in confusion as you ask
"Is that what those feel like?"
Suddenly your body turns on you, your fists throwing punches at your face instead of the opponents. You cry out in confusion as you pummel yourself, no idea what's happening. Suddenly the Water bender lets out a cold laugh and you understand,
"Hey! No fair!" you cry. "Bloodbending is immoral, wrong, and totally cheating!" you manage to get out between punches. The waterbender lets out another laugh and continues with her assault before she says,
"I know that! But desperate times call for desperate measures, now hurry up and die!"
When the punches finally stop, you slowly rise to your feet, barely conscious. A shadow falls over you as Flag Burner towers above your cowering form. "Good fight, Offender. I don't suppose you have any last words?" "B-buck you," you stutter. "Really? That's the best you can come up with?" Flag taunts before backing away. At his signal,
She then continues to make you bite, kick, and even punch yourself in your private place for the next couple of minutes. She even says "Why are you hitting yourself?" the entire time! Finally, the assault stops and you collapse on the ground and a shadow falls over you as Flag Burner towers above your pained form,
"Good fight, Offender. I don't suppose you have any last words?" he says in a faux-friendly tone.
"B-buck you," you stutter.
"Really? That's the best you can come up with?" Flag says before he then bends down next to you and whispers,
"Remember this as you go on to the skies above, you could have join me in bringing on the new world."
With that he gets up an begins to walk away, and as he does he throws his hoof into the air. When he does Aqua and the other benders,
The four benders unite their powers into one massive attack/combo, which leaves you buried under rubble. Cue the transformation to three-tail form.
The dust clears slowly, and Flag and his personal guard slowly approach the mound of debris. "Is he dead?" the waterbender asks.
All unleash their full power at you resulting in a blast of dust and derbies. As the dust starts to settle, Aqua asks,
"Is it dea-?"
Nightmare Scream to make everypony grab their ears in audio pain before unleashing three tails. The Benders all hit you with their most powerful attacks in a barrage that leaves a big cloud of dusty smoke where you were. When the smoke clears, you're still standing there with 3 tails waving unstably.
"Hhehehhe...You all just made a very, very, deadly mistake, now..."
You then take a step forward, but you notice that,
You take a step forward and notice that your front leg is dislocated, but with a shrug you wrap one tail around it and nonchalantly pop it back into place while saying something badass/threatening.
"Who want their Hearth Warming present first?!", you say in a demonic voice from your new transformation as your opponent steps forward.
You're front leg is dislocated, but with a shrug you wrap one tail around it and nonchalantly pop it back into place without breaking stride while saying to the (now intimidated) benders,
“Now..." *POP* "Who want's their Hearth Warming present first?!"
Aqua and the other Benders begin to back away in fear, but Flag Burner shouts at them,
"WHAT DO YOU FOOLS THINK YOU'RE DOING? KILL HIM!"
With that 'piece of wisdom', the Benders charge at you. Which only causes you to give a feral grin as you say,
"Bad move Flag. Looks like I'm gonna have to break your toys...BY RIPPING THEM APART HOOVE BY HOOVE!"
With that you shout
"Would you kindly FEEL HEAVEN'S WRATH!!!" as you extneded the Power Glove at the sky and shoot off nightmareish-blue lightning into the sky before bringing your hoof down, causing lightning bolts to come out of the sky and hit the benders.
"Would you kindly FEEL HEAVEN'S WRATH!!!" you yell as you point the Power Glove at the sky and shoot off nightmareish-blue lightning into the sky, the display causing the benders to pause in their tracks. You then bringing your hoof down in a sweeping-motion, causing lightning bolts to come out of the sky and hit the benders, knocking them all back with blasts of lightning.
With that, Flag Burner just looks at you in fury as he yells,
"Damn it, why won't you just lay down and die?" Thoughts of Nightshade, Fluttershy, and Selena cross through your mind before you answer. "Because I have so much to live for," you say before wrapping a nightmare tail around your power glove-bearing leg. The burst of flame you shoot is infused with darkness, bright red and orange mixed with charred, molten black, and with a whoosh it blazes around the group in a ring of fire.
"Darn it, why won't you just lay down and die?"
Thoughts of Nightshade, Fluttershy, Cadence, the true Horde, Zecora, Braeburn, Spike, Selena, and even the Deadly Five enter your mind as you say with some sanity,
"Because I have so much to live for... AND I'M NOT ABOUT TO GIVE THEM ALL UP FOR YOU! SO PREPARE TO FEEL THE WRATH OF A TRUE NIGHTMARE!!"
And with that you start wrapping a nightmare tail around your power glove-bearing limb. You glare at the Benders and Aqua as you shout,
"Would you kindly, be engulfed IN A RING OF FIRE!"
The burst of flame you shoot is infused with darkness, bright red and orange mixed with charred molten black, and with a whoosh it blazes around the group in a ring of fire. Flag looks around in anger before he turns around to the fire bender and says,
"Get rid of this, you idiot," Flag yells at the red-cloaked firebender. "I'm trying, my liege, but there's some outside force blocking my influence!" he yells back as you leap from the tip of the mound and tackle the firebender to the ground. You snatch him up in your tails before flinging him in the air. You leap up as well, and, wrapping a tail around your foreleg, you fire not a freezing blast, but a solid chunk of darkened ice at the bender. He is sent flying outside the circle of fire and crashes to the concrete ground, unconscious. You land with your back to the remaining benders and, like a badass, turn your head to face them. "Who's next?" you whisper.
Fire: "You think you're powerful? Everywhere I go, I leave destruction in my wake. The more bodies that get in my way, the more damage I do. I am fire, boy!"
"Get rid of this, you idiot!"
"I'm trying, my liege, but there's some outside force blocking my influ-*wham*" he yells back but is interrupted when you launch yourself forward and tackle him into a lamppost. You then grab the firebender with one of your Nightmare Tails and start smashing the other benders with him as you declare,
"You think you're powerful? *smash* Everywhere I go, I leave destruction in my wake.*smash* The more bodies that get in my way, the more damage I do. *smash* I AM fire, punk! *SMASH*"
Bringing your tail up high, you smash him onto a carriage before leaping in the air and declaring,
"NOW WOULD YOU KINDLY CHILL OUT!" causing a pillar of ice to rise from the ground and smash the carriage to pieces as it launches him screaming into the air,
"FALCON PUNCH!"
Before you Falcon punch him hard enough to send him smashing into the ice pillar, shattering it and knocking him unconscious. You land with your back to the remaining benders and turn your head to face them.
"Who's next?" you growl.
Before you can even do anything else, Rocky smashes a boulder into you causing you to go flying away, which is increased by the air bender bending very painful air blast at you. You smash into the upper floor of a nearby building, leaving a you-sized crater on the wall. You growl in anger as you get off the wall and your about to charge at him when you get water whipped further into the building. You growl in anger at Aqua as she says tauntingly,
"Oh, is the 'Nightmare' afraid of getting wet? Well have some more."
With that Aqua...
The water bender charges you, a blade of ice forming in his hoof as he swings it at your head. You catch his hoof in a nightmare tail. "You're gonna have to try harder then that," you say as you toss him into the air. Leaping up as well, you position yourself to deliver your next attack. "No Shadow Kick!" you cry as you unleash a flurry of kicks to the water bender's vulnerable stomach. Grabbing him with a tail, you spin midair and fling him to the ground, where his impact leaves a shallow crater. "Do you feel shocked?" you scream as you slam your hoof into their prone body, delivering a blast of purple lightning.
Charges at you, a blade of ice forming in her hoof as she swings it at your head, but you nonchalantly catch her hoof in a nightmare tail.
"You're gonna have to try harder than that." you taunt before whirling her around and slamming her through a glass sculpture in the building. Getting up, she makes some movements with her arms.
You slowly reach into your cloak and shakily pull out a Molotov Cocktail from your Potion Sash, causing Aqua to smile as she throws her arms to the side...
*shatter* "PSYCH!!!" you yell as you smash your Molotov Cocktail against the side of her head, setting her cloak on fire as she runs around screaming before finally putting herself out with waterbending, but when she looks back at you, you grab her horn with one of your tails to negate her magic before you wrap one of your tails around your arm and scream,
"SHADOW SHORYUKEN!"
Your tail-covered hoof slams into Aqua's midsection in a vicious rising uppercut (you feel several ribs cracking under your hoof) followed by midnight-colored afterimages that launch her into and through several ceilings at high speed, but you lash out one of your Nightmare tails and grab the waterbender before using the momentum to viciously slingshot her in the opposite direction through several more floors.
Aqua coughs up blood as she weakly reaches out a hoof towards a puddle of water, *thud* but you jump down to her level and viciously land-stomp on her limb at the elbow causing her to whimper. Vindictive hate clouding you thoughts as you remember how she beat you up the most out of the benders (including making you beat yourself up with bloodbending), you grab her hoof with one of your nightmare tails as you sadistically taunt,
"Hi, I’m kinda new at this whole ‘bending’ thing, so tell me if I’m doing it right. *crack*"
Before pulling back hard, viciously snapping her arm as she screams in pain. You're about to continue when a gust of wind knocks you into the wall. Taking this opportunity, Aqua gets up and cradles her broken limb before coughing up blood and saying,
"NO AMOUNT OF BITS IS WORTH THIS!!!"
And with that you see her horn light up as she disappears in a bright flash. You growl in anger as you insanely pounce where she once was and begin to claw the ground. But Selena snaps you out of it as she says,
Let her go. She was only a mercenary so we'll see her again. Now let's deal with the blowhard! You look up in shock as you see that Selena was right as the airbending pegasus is now in front of you preparing a large blast of wind, but you laugh as,
You rush towards the airbender, running at ludicrous speeds. A blast of wind knocks you off your path, but landing on your tails, you use them to spring forwards once again. Another gale launches you the other way, but you bounce back, now almost upon the bender. You leap towards him, preparing your attack, until a sudden burst of wind throws you high into the air.
Air: "They say you can't catch the wind. You're not really the wind, are you? I can catch you. I can ground you! Permanently!"
Above the airbender, you flatten your legs against your body as you streamline yourself. As you fall, flames develop around you, both midnight blue and bright green. "Psycho Meteor Impact!" you scream as you slam into the airbender, a massive explosion following.
You rush towards the airbender, running at ludicrous speeds,
"They say you can't catch the wind, but you're not really the wind, are you?"
A blast of wind knocks you off your path, but landing on your tails, you use them to spring forwards once again.
"I can catch you..."
Another gale launches you the other way, but you bounce back, now almost upon the bender when he blasts you through the ceilings and hurtling high into the air. He takes off after you, but you manage to use your tails to stabilize yourself in midair as you lash out two tails and grab the airbender's wings before screaming,
”…which means I can ground you!"
With a vicious twin whip of your tails, you snap the airbender's wings causing him to scream in pain as he starts tumbling in the air as you roar,
"PERMANENTLY!"
You flatten your back limbs against your body as you streamline yourself with your front limbs pointing at the broke-winged pegasus. You use your tails to pull the airbender towards you by his broken wings before you cry out,
"PSYCHO CRUSHER!"
With that, midnight and green flames develop around you as you spin and smash head-on into the Pegasus and send you both crashing through several roofs (Pegasus-first) before you both smash into the unconscious firebender. As the dust settles you growl,
"And then there was one-" *CRUSH*
The Earthbender charges at you, ramming into your side like a bull. As he continues to carry you with his charge, you wrap two nightmare tails around him before jamming a third into the ground. Using this as a fulcrum, you turn the earthbender's momentum against him, flipping him around you and flinging him towards a building with your tails.
Earth: "I've endured more than your precious stone could. You can bend that, but I can break you!"
Hit somepony with No Shadow Barrage.
A giant boulder suddenly smashes you into the side of a building. As you smash the boulder with your nightmare tails, the large earthbending earth pony smashes into you like a bull and rams you through the walls of the building. As Rocky continues to carry you with his charge, you say,
"I've endured more than your precious stone could..."
Before you wrap two nightmare tails around him and jam a third into the ground.
"You can bend that, but I CAN BREAK YOU!"
Using this as a fulcrum, you turn Rocky's momentum against him, flipping him around you and flinging him towards a building with your tails. He smashes into the side of the building but just as he gets back up, you launch yourself at him and cry out,
"NO SHADOW BARRAGE!!"
Before you hit the big earth pony with a rapid flurry of kicks and tail strikes, smashing through the multiple walls of the building with each kick. On the final kick, the earthbender is smashed out the opposite side and slams into a escargot cart in the Prench Quarter.
You land on the ground and look back up to see... that he's still standing back up! He's using the smashed cart to support himself as it looks like he has a black eye, his front limb is broken, there's blood in the corner of his mouth, and it looks like a few ribs are smashed, but even then he just smirks as he says,
"Tis but a flesh wound."
You growl like an animal as you…
Reaching out with telekinesis, you grab him inches from impacting the building before whipping him around and hurling him at another building, farther off. Though you don't see him impact the building, you see the explosion of glass and dust as he slams into the side, and then, when the building begins to collapse. Turning to the airbender, you smile, your fangs contorting into a sadistic grin. "And then there was one..."
"Would you kindly GO BOOM!" before destroying a building with a cluster of explosions from your Power Glove.
Lash out with a nightmare tail to grab the battered earthbender before violently smashing him into two walls when you notice a (particularly stupid/brave to still be there) mime doing the "trapped in a box routine". You say,
Before smashing the earthbender onto the mime with a downward whip of your tail. As the mime twitches while whimpering a pathetic "Ow..." from beneath the large pony you say,
"Glad I could help."
I don't think he was actually trapped... Selena comments.
Meh, I never liked mimes anyway
I concur. Mimery was a low art form even in my time.
With that, you then whip the large earth pony towards a three-story building. You smile sadistically as he crashes into the building and then falls into the ground, but you see him struggle to get up from his position so you quickly shout,
"Would you kindly JUST GO BOOM!" as you point the Power Glove at the building, creating a series of explosions that send the building crashing down on the Earthbender, but you then teleport over to the buildings rubble and you use your tail to grab him out of the rubble. After checking to make sure he's unconscious (and smashing his face into a steel mailbox just to be sure), you toss him onto the unconscious fire and air-benders.
The dust clears and the airbender lies unconscious on the ground, the circle of fire snuffed out by the huge shockwave. You laugh semi-madly in delight before glancing around. Something was missing... Suddenly you spot a hooded figure sprinting away from the destruction around you. "Flag Burner!" you cry. "Get back here!"
The benders lying unconscious on the ground before you in a heap, you laugh semi-madly in delight before glancing around and seeing ponies, (Guards and Fanatics) looking at you in fear while some are still fighting and you hear things like,
"What... what is that thing!?"
"Dying ain't worth 1,000 Bits! I'm outta here!"
"I joined the guard to catch bad guys, not fight unstoppable monsters!"
"The true offender joins us! We can steal 40 more cakes!"
"Is he the true Offender?"
But somepony was missing... Suddenly you spot a hooded figure sprinting away from the destruction around you.
"FLAG BURNER!!!" you roar. "GET BACK HERE SO I CAN JAM THAT CLOAK DOWN YOUR THROAT!!!!"
With that, you chase after Flag, your four tails swinging around you wildly behind you. As you use parkour to maneuver around the obstacles Flag throws in your path as he weaves through ruined buildings and rioters you see out of the corner of your eye… Coco!
It looks like her and some other ponies (who you assume to be either civilans and/or Horde members also leaving) are escaping the city though a smashed sewer pipe sticking out of the ground. She gives you one last look and mouths the words “Thank you” before she follows the ponies into the pipe.
I hope she finds a good life after this, but for now there’s a flag that needs burning!
With that, you continue chasing Flag until he runs up the side of and into an apartment building full of fighting Guards and Fanatics. Seeing how it’ll take too much time to chase him through that you roar,
"FINE! IF I CAN'T CATCH YOU, THEN I'LL BUCKING SQUASH YOU!"
With that you...
End the Fillydelphia fighting once and for all with a Meteor Impact which levels several buildings (which were conveniently evacuated and already damaged by the riots) in the area you smash into and grab EVERYPONY'S attention and makes them stop fighting to pay attention to the destruction in your wake.
Raise your nightmare tails in the air before smashing them to the ground with earth-shaking force, knocking down ponies still standing and launching yourself high into the air. As soon as you're at the height of your ascent you start to cast a midnight forcefield around yourself as all the ponies stop fighting (some in mid punch/bite/kick) to look up at you. Shining (recognizing this move from the Gala) quickly fires up a shield spell around his guards as he yells in a panic,
"EVERYPONY HIT THE DECK!"
You then descend at high speed to the streets and yell out,
"METEOR IMPACT!!!"
And slam into the streets in an explosive shock wave which knocks down nearby damaged buildings, throws ponies away from the blast site, and kicks up dust and debris. After the dust settles, all the conscious ponies (including Shining and Flash) reorient themselves look over to see your four tail form standing, while Flag is looking like he's seen better days. You glare at him in hatred, but soon he starts laughing like a maniac as he says...
"It's happening... it's really happening!" One of your tails wraps around his throat. "Yes. This is happening. You're going to pay--dearly!" He laughs. "Do as you will. It doesn't matter. He told me this would happen." "Who?!" Flag Burner keeps laughing. "He came to me. He told me how I could help him. How I could help him help this world!" "HE?! WHO?!" "You know who he is." You see two tears slip down his cheeks. "He says he knows you. You've spoken with him. You rejected him, and so he came to me." You glare at him and tighten your grip. "You will tell me his name, or you will scream it. Your choice." "He gave me two names." Flag Burner sneers. "One was yours, Mr. Tennant. It didn't make sense until you showed up, but then I understood what he wanted." "Being cryptic won't save you." "He wants your power! And he made sure I could unleash it. Did you tell your daughter good-bye before you left her?" "What..." *snap* "WHAT DID YOU SAY?!" He laughs uncontrollably. "The second name! Nightshade! My boys were on the last train to Ponyville before this storm hit!"
Rip Flag Burner's coat off and expose him
"It's happening... it's really happenin-urk!"
One of your tails wraps around his throat and another one tears off his fake awesome coat, exposing him as an earth pony stallion with a grayish coat and black mane/tail whose body and limbs (but not his head) is covered in black armor. You growl,
"Yes. This is happening. You've been exposed for the impostor you are, and now you're going to pay... DEARLY!"
He laughs,
"Do as you will. It doesn't matter. He told me this would happen."
"WHO?!"
Flag Burner just keeps laughing,
"He came to me. He told me how I could help him. How I could help him help this world!"
"HE, WHO?!" you roar.
"You know who he is... He says he knows you. You've spoken with him. You rejected him, and so he came to me..."
You glare at him and tighten your grip,
"You will tell me his name, or you will scream it as I crush your skull. Your call."
"He gave me two names." Flag Burner sneers. "One was yours, Mr. Tennant. It didn't make sense until you showed up, but then I understood what he wanted..."
"Being cryptic won't save your life. Speak NOW!"
"He wants your power! And he made sure I could unleash it. Did you tell your daughter good-bye before you left her?"
In shock at this, you tighten your grip as you roar,
"What... WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!"
He laughs uncontrollably,
"The second name! Nightshade! My boys were on the last train to Ponyville before this storm hit!"
Your roar in anger as a fifth tail explodes from your back as you throw Flag across the entire street as you roar,
"YOU BUCKING PIECE OF S#%^! I'M GONNA MAKE YOU PAY!!!"
His flight stops when he slams into a discarded radio from the fighting, which causes it to start playing this, which causes you to laugh insanely as you... sing?
"On the 12th day of Hearth's Warming Eve, my special somepony gave to me..."
You leap at Flag Burner and his him with a flurry of kicks,
"12 No Shadow Kicks"
Some of Flag's Fanatics try to come to his aid, but they aren't much help...
"11 Thugs a smacking." *smack*
"10 Throats a chopping." *chop*
"9 Knees a breaking." *crack*
"8 Arms a snapping" *snap*
"7 Carts a smashing" *smash*
"6 Falcon Punches" *POW*
"5 NIGHTMARE TAILS!!!"
"4 Psycho Crushers"
"3 Shoryukens"
"2 Fus RO DAHS!"
With the Horde fanatics now blasted away, you grab Flag Burner with your tail and finish singing,
"And the Hooded Offender smashing your FACE!"
And throw him into a statue of the mayor of Fillydelphia. After that you glare down at his fallen form as he slowly gets up and says,
"I shouldn't have lost faith," Flag Burner said, gasping for air. "You're as strong as I first thought you were!" "What? I have Blue eyes and suddenly you take me for a chump?" you snarked. "AFTER plowing through a ton of guards, have everyling in the entire stadium go flying with my voice, fight my way through a flipping riot to get to you, you're telling me this NOW!?" You began to punch faster and wilder. "SOME BIG FAN YOU ARE!" you snarled.
"I shouldn't have lost faith..." Flag Burner says, gasping for air, "You're even stronger than I first thought you were!"
"What? I have Blue eyes and suddenly you take me for a chump?" you snark. "Even AFTER plowing through a ton of guards, having everyling in the entire stadium go flying with my voice, fighting my way through a flipping riot to get to you, you're telling me this NOW!?"
Your right next to his kneeling form as you yell,
"SOME BIG FAN YOU ARE!"
As you kick him hard enough that his body goes flying a few feet. He weakly gets up as he says,
"Even so," he began before forcing you back with a literal hoofful of pure energy. "Even so, that doesn't mean I can't beat you in combat," he finished. "I have orchestrated all THIS!" He gestured to all around you, the destruction, the mayhem. "No one would expect it all to be planned by ONE pony!" "Are you bucking telling me that you literally planned all this chaos? A riot? All these buildings to fall apart?" "That's besides my point." FB became composed. "If I can cause this much damage, than I can most certainly be able to beat you." "It's not like you did any of that damage." "You still don't understand." He shook his head in disappointment. "It takes more than raw fire to burn a flag. It'll take the Winds of Change to feed the flames so that it'll burn much more brightly."
"Even so-" he begins to say as he slowly gets up, "That doesn't mean I can't beat you. I have orchestrated all THIS!" He gestured to all this destruction around you, "Nopony would expect it all to be planned by ONE pony!"
"Are you bucking telling me that you literally planned all this chaos? A riot? All these buildings to fall apart?"
On cue, another lamppost falls down.
"That's besides my point." Flag Burner shrugs as he becomes more composed. "If I can cause this much damage, than I can most certainly be able to beat you..."
"It's not like you personally did any of that damage." you point out.
"You still don't understand." He shake his head in disappointment. "It takes more than raw fire to burn a flag. It'll take the Winds of Change to feed the flames so that it'll burn much more brightly."
"Don't you see?" he began. "A world without weakness! A world where the strong will prevail! If everypony was strong, then nopony has to struggle! Those who can do labor can progress with nothing holding them back. The useless would never freeload on what's theirs alone. The distinction between Noble and Peasant would be no more; Only the strong exists. Anypony will be free to be their own pony! The Horde Nation would make Someponies out of Noponies! None would be lesser than their peer. No monarchy to rule over them with tyranny, but the ponies will rule themselves. No weaknesses that'll keep you from protecting your family! No more ponies like Iron Shield!" He sputtered that name in disgust. "THIS is the world that it must be!"
His ears and eyes twitched in madness as you say in a low voice,
"I misjudged you. You're not crazy,.."
At this, Flag Burner lit up in delight.
"Have I finally gotten through to you my enlightened liege?!"
He holds out his hoof for a shake which you hold out your hoof to oblige... by wrapping your nightmare tail around his limb and throwing him down the street.
"You're just an idiotic, judgemental bully!" you screamed.
He reared back, and felt over his face to see the damage. You interrupted his checking with a hoof to the face, your mind burning of the days after the wedding invasion,
"You don't know what it means to be weak! You don't know what it feels to be alone, to cheat, steal, and lie just to survive, day and night!"
Flashbacks of the Deadly 5,
"To live in fear, helpless to what the future had in store for you!"
Tears are forming on your raging eyes at this point.
"You don't know what it feels to see hope, but for it to be taken away by misfortune when you thought you had reached it!"
Memories of the Grandbuggy whom you loved and lost... RCV activated.
"YOU DONT KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO BE HIT DOWN TO THE GROUND AND HOW MUCH IT HURTS TO LET GO OF THE PAST AND MOVE FORWARD! YOU WANT TO STOP WEAKNESS?! GUESS WHAT: IT'S REALITY! IT'S LIFE! DO YOU THINK YOU ARE SOME KIND OF BUCKING GOD TO CHANGE THAT?! BUCKING DEAL WITH IT!!!"
Flag Burner stood up after that screamo-rant and muttered,
"Everpony wants change, but nopony wants to change. History has proven that blood is the best lubricant for the wheels of change..."
Suddenly all you see is red as you...
“Flag!” you yell as you charge him. You see past his cloak and into his eyes, and finally, FINALLY, you see fear. You hold him up by his throat. "Say your Prayers..." you growl He blindly flails one of his hoofs and punches you in the nose...which briefly startles you because it actually hurts. It actually feels like your nose is sizzling. You drop him and rub your snout in discomfort. You look to Flag and see he is as surprised as you are. You see a charm bracelet around his ankle, it's a smiley face made of some sort of greenish metal, and it's sizzling. "You Shouldn't have done that..." you snarl as you break his hoof. You begin laughing crazily as you enter your final faze and begin to smash him pretty fiercely and your flurry of hits are too fast for him. You give one final “Falcon Kick!” and kick him right in the face and into a street lamp, bending it in the process. As he slumps over, bleeding, you start walking over to him and just keep chanting. "Blood...blood....blood...BLOOD!" "CEASE!" Selena shouts within your mind causing you to stop "The Battle is won, victory is yours my friend." You shake your head clear of your dark thoughts as you calm down, and the Nightmare Cloak disappears. "Thank you..." you whisper to her. "No Problem my friend, just honoring a promise."
Charge him and grab him by the throat. You see past his leader facade and into his eyes, and finally, FINALLY, you see fear.
"Say your prayers imposter..." you growl
He blindly flails one of his hoofs and scratches you in the face, but you stumble back with a cry of pain as that actually hurt! As you put a hoof to your face and see blood, you look to Flag and see he is as surprised as you are. You see a charm bracelet around his front hoof, a smiley face made of some sort of greenish-gold metal, and it's sizzling.
"You Shouldn't have done that..." you snarl as you grab him with a nightmare tail and just start laughing crazily as you commence smashing him pretty fiercely around the area, knocking away even the few Guards and Fanatics dumb enough to try to interfere.
With a finally give one final “Falcon Kick!” and knock him right in the face and into a street lamp, bending it in the process. As he slumps over, bleeding, you start walking over to him and just keep chanting,
"Blood... blood... blood... BLOOD! I WANT MORE BLOOD!"
"CEASE!" Selena shouts within your mind causing you to stop,
"The Battle is won, victory is ours."
You shake your head clear of your dark thoughts as you calm down, and the Nightmare Cloak starts to disappear.
"Thank you..." you whisper to her.
"Just honoring a promise..."
You stare Flag down before you begin to walk towards him in the ruins as you say...
“I learned that kick from my daughter” you taunt him. He puts his head down and spits out blood, “My daughter taught me things as well…like how this world is broken…that it needs someone to fix it…we learn a lot from our children don’t we?” You put two and two together and finally realize who it is he lost. And now you feel sympathy for this monster, just a little bit.
“I learned that kick from my daughter.”
He puts his head down and spits out blood,
“My daughter taught me things as well... like how this world is broken... that it needs someone to fix it... we learn a lot from our children don’t we?”
You put two and two together and finally realize who it is he lost. And now you feel sympathy for this monster... just a little bit. Deciding to try and talk some sense into this mad pony, you try to talk some sense into him... your way at least...
" ...Ever since my faked death, I was ready to be another blurred face in history, a villain better off forgotten. But when the Horde appeared, I was so happy! Finally, I wasn't alone, there were people who understood me! You were right, the Hooded Offender does want to be a hero."
You're eyes opened, glowing orange,
"But if all this—" you gestured to all the destruction around you "—is what it takes, if this is what I have to sacrifice to be hero, if villainy and all these atrocities must exist for a hero to even be called, then I won't have any part of it."
The revolutionary's eyes turned of that of rage,
"Then you're weak either way! There has to be sacrifices for there to be change! If you are not willing, then NOTHING changes, and things'll one day go rotten!"
"Then my fan club must've overstayed it's welcome. I guess that makes YOU the corruption," you said coolly, and that only fanned the flame within Flag Burner.
"You fool-!"
"There is, in fact, one sacrifice I'm willing to make..." That interruption made him stop. "Do you know what this hood is? What reference it originally was? This is the hood of a Nobody! By donning it, you were prepared to be nobody, along with many others. You don't know this and yet you call yourself one of my biggest fans?"
"I don't understand!" he yells.
"The Hooded Offender was never real. It's just a wishful dream. Who you thought the Hooded Offender was, what you thought the Horde was all about, is just a dream. Instead, it's your worst nightmare. I'm your worst nightmare."
"N-no! That's a lie! You're a liar!"
You shook your head and stepped forward.
"Don't you see? I AM a lie, and you're just a fraud who wants to use that lie for his own ends! And that is the last truth you'll ever hear out of me." You grabbed him by the collar of his armor and shouted,
"Now tell me: Who do the hay do you think I am NOW?!"
Flag Burner, who was once full of conviction, was now nothing but a pathetic, sputtering mess,
"N-no! No! The Nightmare has Come. The Nightmare has to Come! You can't kill me!"
He pushes himself off you and starts yelling at the ponies that have gathered around you two (you didn't notice before because you were too preoccupied with beating some sense into Flag Burner),
"To preserve the Horde's honor, to free Equestria from the alicorn tyrants, I must live! I HAVE to live! The true Hooded Offender will NOT die this way!"
He then turns towards you and insanely yells,
"I WILL NOT BE KILLED BY YOU!"
The Nightmare Cloak begins to disappear even more as you chuckle and say,
"Who said I was gonna kill you?"
It is then that Flag Burner notices that he is surrounded by Royal Guard ponies. He sees his men being hoofcuffed (many of them surrendering after you've exposed Flag Burner) and led away. Shining is approaching with a pair of hoofcuffs and you chuckle again as you...
“It’s over Flag, you've lost. The bomb in the stadium is gone and Armor here is still alive... bruised (and that's kinda my fault...), but alive."
Flag then starts laughing at that, apparently gaining some of his strength (and insanity). You stop walking away, turn to him, and ask in confusion,
“What?”
“I’ve lost? Oh that’s rich... did you honestly think that I would put all my crates on one boat?” Flag taunts,
“Wha...”
“I wanted everypony’s focus there, that’s where my trap was and thanks to you, everypony’s focus was on this fight.” he smiles.
“What are you saying?” Shining demands.
“There were more evil places to clean, like a government building full of corrupt politicians, a mall built from racketeering funds, the penthouses and mansions of said racketeers, and let’s not forget the dirtiest place of all... the guard station.”\
All of a sudden, the ground shakes as you hear explosions going off all across the city. You hear screaming and glass breaking and debris falling.
“WHAT DID YOU DO?!” you and Shining scream in anger.
“I won...” he simply says with a smile.
You rush at the terrorist and start throttling him,
"WHY?! Why you Bucking Psychopath, Why?!"
"Because they let my daughter die... and all they said Sorry!" he then coughs up some blood and looks at you in anger, "And sorry doesn't cut it!"
"How many others have to die?! Huh?! HOW MANY?!" you scream in his face.
"As many as it takes to fix this country... THE NIGHTMARE COMES!"
You choke him harder,
"WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!"
"We'll... find out... soon enough," he struggles to say.
With your rage at it's peak, the Nightmare Cloak explodes back with five tails as you...
And with that you start to beat his face in, breaking a few of his teeth, before kicking him across the street and into a fire hydrant, breaking it. Shining tries to hold you back. “Wait! He’s beaten Stand Down!” he implores. “Not enough he’s not!” you scream as you point the power glove at him and give him a shock. You then point your glove at Flag who is grogilly getting back to his hooves. "For...The...HORDE..." he calls out with fading strength.
In a rage, you beat down Flag Burner (even viciously knocking away Flash/Shining when they try to intervene) before smash two of your tails into the ground in front of you to your left and to your right before third tail to smash Flag Burner into the wall i front of you with enough force to launch yourself backwards. When your tails reach their maximum stretch, you slingshot yourself towards Flag Burner and charge up a Falcon Punch (which is now midnight-colored instead of fiery color) with a scream of, "YIPPIE-KI-YAY MOTHERBUCKER!!!" Time seems to slow down as your midnight-flame covered hoof slams into the side of Flag Burner's face, seemingly imploding it before the pure force violently smashes him through the wall and another building before he smashes into a building which collapses on him.
And with that you smash him in the face with a "Falcon Punch" which breaks a few of his teeth as it sends him flying far across the street, smashing through the assembled remaining guards like a bowling ball, before finally stopping by slamming into a steel wall. You launch yourself with your nightmare tails and hit him with a "No Shadow Barrage", each hit made even more damaging in spite of Flag's armor with the fact he's against the steel wall. As he coughs up blood, you reel your hoof back for another strike when you feel it being restrained. You look to see Shining's magic on your hoof as Flash Sentry is grabbing it,
“Wait! He’s beaten!" "Stand Down!” Flash and Shining implores/orders.
“GET THE BUCK OFF ME!!!” you roar as you powerfully sweep your nightmare tails which violently knocks back everypony around you (including sending Flash slamming into Shining and causing them both to smash through a taxi carriage.
Flag Burner wobbles as he struggles to stay standing up as he weakly says,
"For...The... True Horde..."
With another yell of rage, smash two of your tails into the ground just behind you to your left and to your right before your remaining three tails smash into Flag Burner against the steel wall to his back with enough force to launch yourself backwards. When your tails reach their maximum stretch, you slingshot yourself towards Flag Burner, wrapping your limb in a nightmare tail and charging up a midnight-colored "Falcon Punch", but as you fly at Flag, you hear several ponies shouting,
"OFFENDER STOP! HE'S ALREADY DOWN!"
"YOU’RE GOING TOO FAR, STOP IT YOU FOOL!"
“SLAY THAT FALSE MESSEIAH!”
"BUGZE, DON'T DO THIS!"
You ignore them as just before impact you give a rage-filled cry of,
"YIPPIE-KI-YAY MOTHERBUCKER!!!"
Time seems to slow down as your midnight flame-covered hoof slams into the side of Flag Burner's face, seemingly imploding it before the pure force violently sends him smashing through the steel wall and several carriages before he smashes into a riot-damaged skyscraper which then collapses on top of the terrorist with a series of explosions, setting the rubble on fire. Seeing this, you let out a final roar of rage that echoes throughout Fillydelphia.
As you breath heavily and the rage dies down, you're struck with the full realization what you just did. You look at your hooves as they shake in horror as you say,
"I... I just... oh dear Luna I just..."
The Nightmare Cloak dissolves as you stand there shaking in horror, not noticing that the guards are cautiously approaching and they look both angry and terrified.
"FLEE YOU FOOL!!!" Selena roars in your head causing you to quickly, but shakily, pull out the...
Drink the "Murder of Crows" vigor and use it to escape.
"Murder of Crows" vigor bottle. Your shaking hooves fumble to get it open and you hastily down it, quite a bit spilling all over your face and coat. A few moments after emptying the bottle, you feel pulsing pecking pain shooting through your Power Glove arm. You hastily pull back the sleeve to see crow feathers growing out of your arm and crow heads peeking out and cawing from inside the changeling holes in your limb. Suddenly, a huge murder of crows shoot out of your changeling arm holes and start to swarm around you in a storm of feathers, driving back everypony around you as they try to deal with dozens of pecking beaks.
In the confusion, you charge up a telport and quickly teleport outta there, and then the crows vanish in a tornado-like fashion. Eyewitnesses would later say that the Offender vanished in a whirlwind of crows...
A FIELD IN THE EVERFREE FOREST
You pant slightly as you look around in fear, as if the shadows themselves were going to jump out and attack you. After making sure noling was here in this field (which is curiously clear while there's snow around it) you-
*Blurg*
Throw up into a nearby bush. After you continue to throw up for a good couple minutes you slowly back away and fall to the ground as you shake and cry,
"Dear Luna... I just killed someling! I just bucking killed someling with my bare hooves! And all those ponies are dead because of me! What is Nightshade going to think of me? What about the original Horde? Oh Luna, when Cadence finds out, and Fluttershy... Oh Luna WHAT HAVE I DONE!!!"
During your lamenting, you don't notice this sound behind you...
You continue to just sit there alone in the field, tears of guilt streaming down your face as the memory of what you did replays repeatedly in your mind and torments you to no end; Flag's smug smile, the looks of those around you, the explosions and screams... The feeling of compete failure and guilt consumes you as you just can't stop saying over and over again,
"It's all my fault... They're all dead... I did it... Not some faker or a uncontrollable nightmare, ME! I killed them all! What have I done!"
Millions of ponies you don't know flash in your mind, looks of pure fear etched on their faces. You cry out in anguish and start slamming your hoof into the ground as it becomes too much. You just want it to end. You just want something to take it all away...
"Someling... help me. I... I just wanted to stop him. But now... oh Luna SOMELING PLEASE JUST HELP ME!"
You visibly start shaking and continue smashing your hoof into the ground as you hear accusing voices in your head,
It's all your fault. You could have stopped him, but now you have his and their blood on your hooves Why didn't you just do everypony a favor back at the Gala and die? None of this would have happened if you did...
You grab your ears, trying to drown out these voices as you scream,
"Shut up! Shut up! Please just shut the buck up! SOMELING MAKE THEM SHUT UP!"
Suddenly you feel a hoof on your shoulder. You look up in surprise to see...
You sit there and cry aloud, even as the TARDIS materializes behind you. The Doctor just opens the door and looks at you sadly. “Bugze I’m sorry…I’m so sorry” he says to you in genuine sorrow. “Sorry? You’re SORRY?!” you yell in anger “You’re the one to blame for all of this!” The Doctor just looks at you with sad eyes and says nothing so you attack him. “I was happy, I was at peace in Appleloosa! YOU DRAGGED ME OUT! And for what? To be a glorified errand boy?! NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU’D LEFT ME ALONE! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!”
“Sorry? You’re SORRY?!” you yell in anger as your eyes glow orange, “You’re the one to blame for all of this!”
The Doctor just looks at you with sad eyes and says nothing as you yell,
“I was happy, I was at peace in Appleloosa! YOU DRAGGED ME OUT! And for what? To be a glorified errand boy?! NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU’D LEFT ME ALONE! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!”
As you shout, the Nightmare Cloak explodes from you at five tails. The Doctor looks at you in surprise as...
Upon realizing its the doctor, you let the Nightmare cloak explode from you agaiin, with six tails. your form compleatly blackens with the amount of energy surronding you, and your voice echos with rage. this was all the doctors fault! He woulddent tell you what the messages ment! its because of him that everything has gone to hell and byond! take your anger out on the tardis, launch a Bijudama at it. use your tails to pin him to a wall the sheer intensity of the engery in the Nightmare Cloak enough to cause him to scream in pain upon contact with it, and scream/roar in his face. killing him would be to easy... no, your going to make him wish youd killed him.
Your Nightmare Tails shoot out and slam/pin the Time Lord against the TARDIS. As the Doctor tries to breath, you hear him say,
"I was... only trying... to help."
You growl before you roar in an enraged Royal Canterlot Voice,
Doctor. Back. The Buck. Off. You wanna know why you end up failing, why people consistently refuse to listen to your advice? YOU DON'T GIVE THEM ENOUGH OF A BUCKING REASON TO TRUST YOU! YOU JUST KEEP TELLING THEM WHAT TO DO WITHOUT GIVING A GOOD ENOUGH REASON FOR THEM TO DO IT! You just expect them to listen because you're the 'Time Lord'. Well guess what, you don't know people, and at the rate you're going, you never will, so try fixing that before you think you can give orders.
"HELP?! HELP! YOU DIDN'T BUCKING TRY TO HELP!"
You tighten your grasp on the Doctor as you continue,
"You wanna know why you end up failing, why people consistently refuse to listen to your advice? IT'S BECAUSE YOU DON'T GIVE THEM ENOUGH OF A BUCKING REASON TO TRUST YOU! YOU JUST KEEP TELLING THEM WHAT TO DO WITHOUT GIVING A GOOD ENOUGH REASON FOR THEM TO DO IT!"
The Doctor struggles as you continue,
"YOU JUST EXPECT THEM TO OBEY CAUSE YOU'RE A TIME LORD? WELL GUESS WHAT, YOU DON'T KNOW PONIES AND AT THE RATE YOU'RE BUCKING GOING, YOU NEVER WILL, SO TRY FIXING THAT BEFORE YOU THINK YOU CAN GIVE YOUR BUCKING ORDERS!!!"
Just as your about to send the Doctor to space (without his TARDIS), he says something that makes you stop dead in your tracks...
The Doctor groans against the pressure of your grip, but manages to reach out to you. "Going to kill again so soon, Bugze?" he asks. Your nightmare cloak suddenly vanishes as you drop to your knees, weeping. The Doctor leans into you and hugs, and you share an emotional moment "Doc... what do I do?" you finally ask, wiping tears from your eyes. "That is for you to decide," the Doctor replies. "I can show you this, though." He displays tomorrow's copy of the Manehatten Bugle, the front cover bearing a photo of you disappearing in a cloud of crows, so expertly shot and framed that you know it's been edited. "The Fillydelphia Fracas, they're calling it," he says.
"Going to kill again so soon?"
In shock, your nightmare cloak suddenly vanishes as you drop to your knees, weeping. The Doctor gets up and walks over before he leans into you and hugs.
"Doc... what do I do?" you finally ask, wiping tears from your eyes.
"That is for you to decide," the Doctor replies as he ends the hug. "I can show you this, though."
He hoofs you tomorrow's copy of The Canterlot Chronicle, the front cover bearing a photo of you disappearing in a cloud of crows. It's so expertly shot and framed that you know it had to have been edited.
"The Crimson Holiday Uprising, they're calling it," he says.
Just the name they gave that monstrous attack, your monstrous attack, causes the guilt to come rushing back as you try to regain your composer as you try to read the newspaper without crying...
You read about how Shining Armor has called for a Task force to catch the Offender. “The terrorist Flag Burner was a murderer yes, but that does not give someone the right to be Judge Jury and Executioner, especially to someone who had already been beaten. From this point forward, The Hooded Offender is wanted for Murder in the First Degree, on top of all his past crimes. Anypony that is associated with The Horde, will be detained.”
-Some declaration by Princess Celestia regarding the incident in Fillydelphia -Your "brutal execution" of Flag Burner -Millions (if not billions) in damages to Fillydelphia -Surprisingly, only confirmed death in attacks are Captain Iron Shield (Flag Burner's body not found...) -Racketeers and Stained Shields arrested on order of Shining Armor during restoration of Fillydelphia -Increased crackdown on the Horde -Horde membership unofficially sharply dropping due to events in Fillydelphia
You stare at the rest of the paper in shock as you read out loud,
"What was supposed to be Hearth's Warming Eve come early turned into an ordeal worse than Nightmare Night as the city of FIllydelphia was rocked by one of the most destructive attacks since Discord's return. It all started at the annual HWE Hoofball game where a mysterious individual named 'Flag Burner' impersonated Equestria's Most Wanted fugitive, The Hooded Offender, and took the stadium hostage before making a threatening speech and publicly executing Fillydelphia Royal Guard Captain Iron Shield (who was though to have died in a carriage accident a few days prior) on alleged accusations of corruption. The real Hooded Offender appeared to do battle with the renegade impostor which escalated into a full-blown riot that caused billions of Bits worth of damages to the city before it finally ended with the Hooded Offender brutally and mercilessly executing Flag Burner before escaping in a whirlwind of crows."
You gulp slightly in guilt as you continue to read outloud
"The terrorist Flag Burner was a murderer yes', Captain Armor announced in a press conference 'but that does not give someone the right to be Judge, Jury, and Executioner, especially to someone who had already been beaten. From this point forward, The Hooded Offender is wanted for Murder, on top of all his past crimes and his bounty has been doubled. Anypony that is associated with 'The Horde', will be detained."
You sigh in guilt knowing this was all your fault as you continue to read out loud
"Due to the extensive damages to Fillydelphia, Princess Celestia has declared the city to be in a State of Emergency and has placed the city under martial law. Ponies are being advised to please evacuate the area and to find shelter with friends and family while reconstruction efforts were underway.
Unto further news, Captain Shining Armor has used his newly granted martial law authority to initiate a large crackdown on the city's racketeers and several Fillydelphian Royal Guard members. Rumors say that many of the Guards are 'stained shields' who were putting more priority on looting and trying to capture the illegal tax-free bounty on the Hooded Offender placed by Flag Burner.
Captain Armor has also placed specific arrest focus on members of the, now dubbed by anonymous sources, 'Crimson Knights', a renegade splinter faction of 'The Horde' that was founded by Flag Burner and is now being classified as a terrorist group. Captain Armor says that the Crimson Knights can be identified by wearing the typical Horde Cloaks, but with the blood-red crimson symbol of an arrow going through the sun both on the hood and tattooed somewhere on the ponies body. If you see any of these ponies please contact a local guard immediately."
You stare at the newspaper in confusion, your grief subdued for now, as you think,
I don't remember seeing that symbol on any of those Fanatics. I guess I was too busy kicking their butts to notice. Wait..what's this?
"By some holiday miracle, the death toll of this devastation was very low. Only two deaths have been confirmed. Royal Guard Captain Iron Shield, who's family have been hit hard by this loss, and the so called 'False Hood' Flag Burner. However, Flag Burner's body was never found, but based on witness statements, it is safe to assume he is dead."
Only two deaths...
You start to shake uncontrollably as you slowly look at the Doctor and ask...
“NO…that’s wrong…it’s mine…I’m a murderer Doc…I killed him…I couldn’t save anyone so I killed him…they’re all dead…because of me.” “No Bugze…no they’re not.” The Doctor says as he hands you a news paper. The paper headlines “Chaos in Fillydelphia: The Hooded Offender Strikes Again” The Date on the paper is for Tomorrow, but something confuses you. The Death Toll is only 2. Iron Shield and Flag Burner (Who's body was not recovered, but seeing as how you collapsed a building on top of it you can understand why). You look up to the Doctor. “How?” He just looks at you and says, “My gift…my gift for them…Everyone lives…” he then puts his head down in sadness. You are shocked as you read through the paper more and see that all the buildings were mysteriously evacuated, that all this was caused by a rogue faction of The Horde and how the Hooded Offender brutally dealt with their mysterious leader Flag Burner. “Th-they didn’t die? Noling else was killed by him? But that means…” you stutter in shock.
“I…I killed him for no reason…I’ve made everything worse” “The Riots were going to happen, Iron Shield was going to die…but no one else would...Not while I had anything to say about it…” The Doctor then grabs the Paper away from you. “This should have been a story about a crazed stallion who was brought down by the guards, a pony who would’ve stood trial. It would’ve gained national attention. Others would’ve stood up for you, that the actions of Burner were that of a radical…that the Hooded Offender was not a killer…” He looks at the paper in sadness as you weep a bit more. “It’s why I didn’t want you involved.” “Why…why couldn’t you just tell me this…why? Please, just for once, answer me…” you plead. “I wish I could Bugze…I truly do…but I can’t” he looks down, “You will understand why eventually, but until then...” “Spoilers..." you sigh as he nods. “I can’t say more…I’m sorry Bugze…truly, from the bottom of my hearts…I am sorry…things are going to get a lot worse for you from here on out.”
"H...How?"
He just looks at you and says,
“My gift... My Hearth's Warming Eve gift for them... Everyone lives...” he then puts his head down in sadness. "At least that's how it was supposed to go..."
“Th-they didn't die? Noling else was killed by him? But that means...” you stutter in shock. "I... I killed him for no reason... I've made everything worse!”
“The stadium would have been captured and Iron Shield was going to die... but his death was a fixed point in time and no one else would have died... Not while I had anything to say about it…” The Doctor then grabs the Paper away from you, “This should have been a story about a crazed stallion who was brought down by the Royal Guard at the stadium, a terrorist who would've stood trial. It would've gained national attention. Others would've stood up for you, that the actions of Burner were that of a crazed radical... that the Hooded Offender was not a killer...”
He looks at the paper in sadness as you weep a bit more.
“That’s why I didn't want you involved.”
“Why... why couldn't you just tell me this... why?! Please, just for once, answer me...” you plead.
“I wish I could Bugze... I truly do... but I can’t” he looks down, “You will understand why eventually, but until then...”
“Spoilers..." you sigh as he nods.
“I can’t say more…I’m sorry Bugze…truly, from the bottom of my hearts…I am sorry…things are going to get a lot worse for you from here on out.”
You just stare off into the distance as tears once again begin to stream from your eyes, but The Doctor holds out his hoof as he gives you a sad smile. You accept his hoof as he helps pull you up. He looks at you for a moment before saying...
Doctor puts up a smile as he says, "Don't worry, a good portion of the population did notice that you, for the most part, were working to defeat the crazed Horde, and the factions of the Horde that are loyal to you will receive a sharp spike in memberships as such. Unfortunately, the ponies in charge can't bring themselves to forgive even good-intentioned murder. Effective immediately, the Hooded Offender is also wanted for first-degree murder. In addition, an all-out colthunt is beginning. There's no place in Equestria the Offender can hide."
"Due to these events, overall Horde membership will shrink due to many members either leaving due to the increased crackdown or the more radical and violent ones leaving to join the Crimson Knights. However, a good portion of the population did notice that you, for the most part, were working to defeat the crazed Horde, and the factions of the Horde that are loyal to you will be even more so. Unfortunately, the ponies in charge won't tolerated even a well-intentioned murderous vigilante so now they are going to re-double their efforts to capture you. Soon, there will be no place in Equestria the Offender can hide... But maybe Baker Sylvester Tennant still can."
You nod your head in understanding, causing the Doctor to nod his head as well. He then walks over to the TARDIS and says...
He then walks back into the TARDIS. “I’ll take you wherever you want to go…when you’re ready.” He then walks back inside leaving you to lament by yourself. “I’m a Monster” you lament as you look at the blood on your hooves, and remember how you imploded Flag’s head. “He’s dead because of me.” Selena sounds mournful and even scared as she talks to you. “Bugze…please. I tried to stop you I did! Please don’t do this! Please!” “Do what?” “Kill us…please…I tried…please” she says tearfully. You remember you pact/threat you made with her…how you made her cry. You hear that fear in her voice right now and it makes you feel even worse. Maybe all you are is a monster. “I…Look I’m…” “We can’t die now! We have to protect Nightshade before that maniac’s henchponies get to her. PLEASE!” she pleads. “Oh Buck!” you reply as you remember. You go to the Doctor and have him take you to the Train Station.
“I’ll take you wherever you want to go... when you’re ready.”
He then walks back inside leaving you by yourself in the field,
“I’m a Monster” you lament as you look at the figurative blood on your hooves, “He’s dead because of me.”
Bugze... please. I tried to stop you I did! Please don’t do this! Please! Selena yells, sounding mournful and even scared as she talks to you,
Do what?
Kill us... please... I tried... please... she says tearfully.
You remember the pact/threat you made with her... how you made her cry. You hear that fear in her voice right now and it makes you feel even worse. Maybe all you are is a monster...
I... Look I’m...
We can’t die now! We have to protect Nightshade before that maniac’s henchponies get to her. PLEASE! she pleads.
“Oh Buck!” you yell out loud as you remember before immediately rushing into the TARDIS and yelling,
"Doc, we need to get to Ponyville, NOW!!!"
The Doctor chuckles as he starts to fumble at the controls,
"Relax Bugze, we've got all the ti-"
"Relax? RELAX?!!! My daughter is in danger by Flag Burner's leftover nut-" you yell before the Doctor interrupts.
"Nightshade is not in Ponyville. She went with the Elements of Harmony to assist with the Hearth's Warming Eve pageant in Canterlot. They should be returning tomorrow. Even if that wasn't the case, we're in a time machine."
"Oh..." you say in realization.
As the Doctor continues to operate the controls, he slightly laughs as he says,
"You know, you remind me of myself," The Doctor said, facing the console with his back the only thing you see. Confused, you stared at the Timelord for an explanation. "Always changing, wearing different "faces", wether in fear or bitterness, just to hide the truth behind that jolly facade." Finally, he turned to face you. He looked... Old. "Fear and hate made you stronger, it's your superpower, but it doesn't have to make you feel alone for it. When you're already wise, when you're already the strongest you can be, your nightmares becomes a companion for you." He smiled softly. "You're the nightmare who made others unite in friendship to defeat you, who made sure no one was alone, are you not?' Not really, but you have your own "Nightmare" who keeps you company. Selena...
"You know, you remind me of myself,"
Confused, you stared at the Time lord for an explanation,
"Always changing, wearing different 'faces', whether in fear or bitterness, just to hide the truth behind that jolly facade."
Finally, he turned to face you. He looked... Old.
"Fear and hate made you stronger, it's your superpower, but it doesn't have to make you feel alone for it. When you're already wise, when you're already the strongest you can be, your nightmares becomes a companion for you." He smiled softly. "You're the nightmare who made others unite in friendship to defeat you, who made sure no one was alone, are you not?"
"Not really," you reply solemnly, "But I have my own 'Nightmare' who keeps me company." Selena...
After that thought, you feel the TARDIS land. You take off your awes-no... your Nobody Cloak. As you're about to put it in away, you feel something... wet on your cheek. You put your hoof to it and pull back to see...
Notice that your face is still bleeding where Flag Burner scratched you with that bracelet. The Doctor scans the wound and discovers that you were wounded by Orichalcum, one of the extremely rarest minerals in Equestria, but also one of the strongest. He further explains how items made of Orichalcum never rust, stay sharp for over a hundred years, cut through even dragon scales, and could negate magic. The Doctor then heals your face wound with his Sonic Screwdriver, but warns that the scar will be permanent as he further warns you that Orichalcum cancels out healing factors and thus is one of the few things that can slay alicorns and even you in the fast-healing Nightmare Cloak (Orichalcum injuries can only be healed with outside help).
Blood?
You stare at your hoof in confusion as you say low to yourself,
"That's strange. My healing factor should have kicked in by now. So, why am I still bleeding?"
The Doctor seems to take notice of your state and trots over to you. He takes out his Sonic Screwdriver (even in your predicament, you had to hold back a fancoly squee) and begins to scan your face with it. His eyes widen in wonderment as he says,
"How odd. It appears you got cut by some sort of Orichalcum weapon."
You look at him in confusion as you ask,
"Orichal-what now?"
The Doctor sighs as he says,
"Orichalcum my dear boy. It is an extremely rare mineral in Equestria, but also one of the strongest. You see, items and weapons made from Orichalcum never rust, can stay sharp for centuries, can cut through even dragon scales, and could negate magic. It's amazing that this element still exist's. I could have sworn that the last of it was mined a millennium ago. Tell me Bugze, what caused this wound?"
You try to think hard back to your battle (which you'd rather forget to be honest) for what could have caused your wound. You gasp in surprise as you remember what caused it,
Flag Burners strange bracelet. That must have been it! But where could he have gotten that?
As you were thinking, you don't notice the Doctor stop using his Screwdriver as he says,
"There we go, good as new. Sadly that scar on your eye and face is permanent. Orichalcum is the only known materiel to cancel out healing factors. Weapons made of it could even kill alicorns back in the olden times. You could even be killed when you lose your, um... temper."
You gulp slightly in fear as you ask,
"Can I... can I see the scar?"
The Doctor nods his head as he walks over to a random box in the corner and pics up a hoof mirror. He carries it over to you and shows you your face, and you can't help but whistle as you say,
"Dang."
Your right eye is now sporting a diagonal line scar that looks something like this. You can't help but think,
I'm gonna need something to cover that up, but for now I've got some unfinished business...
You change back into your Tennant persona and exit the TARDIS.
You thank the Doctor as you put on your Baker-Slyvester-Tennant outfit and you walk out of the TARDIS and onto the Ponyville train station at night. But before you can continue you hear the Doctor call out...
You change back into your Tennant persona and exit the TARDIS. “Bugze…” the Doctor calls, “please trust me when I say that I will try to keep you safe. “he then looks deeper into your eyes, “all three of you.” You are shocked that he knows about Selena, but before you can ask anything, he materializes away.
The Doctor then spoke up: "You know, you have grown to my heart, just like our dear Derpy here, so do me a favor: Don't die."
"Bugze. Please trust me when I say that I will try to keep you safe." he then looks deeper into your eyes, “All three of you.”
You are shocked that he knows about Selena, but before you can ask anything he continues,
"You know, Derpy and I have grown quite fond of you, so do me a favor: Don't die."
As the TARDIS begins to disappear, you smirk thankfully as you whisper,
"Thanks Doc."
And with that you run off to find these so-called "Crimson Knights"...
20 MINUTES LATER
You eventually find the Ponyville Horde HQ (the one where only believers of the Offender's cause can see it). When you opened the door you saw Octavia tied up on the ground and surrounded by 3 ponies wearing Horde cloaks, but with the Crimson Knights symbol. You would have wondered how they found this place, *snap* but for you have to save Octavia!
"Don't make us hurt a classy lady like yous miss, just tells us where Nig-"
"PSYCHO CRUSHER!"
You spin forward and slam into the interrogator, sending him flying and smashing into a dining chest.
The Crimson Knight to your left yells in shock
"WHAT THE-" *wham* "FALCON PUNCH!"
You whirl around and slam a flaming hoof into his face, knocking his head into a metal bar, knocking him out.
The last thug stands there shaking in fear as he asks...
You find the stallions in question, they’re clearly wearing their robes. “How can you be here already?” “You’re master is dead,” you growl at them with glowing eyes. “I killed him.” “You lie!” “Oh really? Then why am I here?” They don’t have an answer for that. “If you hurt my daughter I’ll…” you hesitate, “I’ll kill you too.” “Hurt her? Why would we do that?” “Huh?” you asked confused. “We’re here to bring the child into our midst, to become our symbol.” “Well that’s not gonna happen.”
“H-How can you be here already? Master said he killed you!”
“You’re master is dead,” you growl with glowing eyes as you move towards Octavia. “I- The Offender killed him.”
You hear Octavia gasp in shock, but before you can say anything the terrified henchmen yells,
“You lie!”
“Oh really? Then why am I here?”
The terrified henchman doesn't say anything, so you just continue to glare at him as you reach Octavia before growling,
“If you hurt my daughter I’ll…” you hesitate, “He'll kill you too.”
Another gasp from Octavia,
“Hurt her? Why would we do that?”
“Huh?” you asked confused.
“We’re here to bring the child into our midst, to become our symbol.”
You just finished untying Octavia, but what the stallion says make you say in a calmly angry tone,
“...Well that’s not gonna happen. SHORYUKEN!”
You rush forward and hit him with a rising uppercut that smashes him against the ceiling before he comes crashing down onto a table. You the pick him up and hold him in the air as you say threateningly,
"Now, your gonna take your unconscious friends out of here before-"
*pow pow crack thud*
You look behind you to see that the thug that you knocked into the chest got up, but Octavia knocked him out with a 3-hit Karate combo. You turn back to the thug in your grasp and continue,
"I make you hurt more. Understood?"
The terrified henchmen nods his head in fear as you drop him. He scrambles away from you, grabs his unconscious comrades, and runs for the door. As he runs you roar after him in the Royal Canterlot Voice,
"AND LET YOUR BUDDIES KNOW THAT IF I EVER SEE THEM AROUND HERE AGAIN, I'LL HUNT DOWN AND SLAUGHTER EVERY SINGLE LAST ONE OF THEM!"
The henchmen just screams in terror as he runs out the door. You turn over to Octavia, who says,
"Thank you Mr. Tennant. I thought they were fellow members and they ambushe-"
You stop her with a cold glare as you say,
"Tell the Horde the same thing, and have a meeting be set up soon. Me and the Offender are going to have a little chat with all of you. Now I'm leaving and you're not following."
Mean yes, but if you're going to make your point clear this is the best way. The Horde and Crimson Knights needed to be dealt with soon. And if threats are gonna make it happen, then so be it. With that you teleport away, leaving a confused (and hurt) Octavia behind.
You walk through town as night settles in. The streets are empty, save for the warm glow from all the windows. You trudge on. And on. And on. It doesn't feel right, this town. It's too peaceful after what you've seen. The news must not have traveled this far yet. All the families huddled together in peace and love will be huddled in fear all too soon. You slump to the ground, leaning against a street sign. Do you even belong here anymore? You hear something running towards you. Quickly. You look up just in time to see Winona jump into your lap and start licking your face. "Whoa! Whoa, girl! Okay, okay, you're happy to see me!" She jumps off of you and bounds back and forth, finally crouching down and wagging her tail. "You don't understand either, do you? You don't know what I've done." Her tail stops wagging and she picks up her head, tilting it to the side. "Although... I've heard animals have some kind of sixth sense. Fluttershy certainly makes it sound like you know more than most ponies think you do." Winona whines and takes one step forward. "Do you know what I did, girl? Can you smell the blood on me?" You hold up your hoof. "Do you know what this hoof just did to a stallion you never met before?" She leans in and sniffs your hoof. Then she gives it a small lick. "And what does that mean, I wonder? I wish I knew what you were thinking." You lean your head back against the post. "Or maybe that would make me feel worse. It's bad enough knowing what ponies think of me." Winona wines again and walks behind the post. She comes back around with a pink ball in her mouth. You see For ball related emergencies! written on it before she rolls it over to you. And she crouches down again, wagging her tail. "...Snrk!" You can't help yourself. You laugh, even as Winona noses the ball closer to you. You finally pick it up and throw it towards Sweet Apple Acres, standing up and following after the chasing dog.
NEAR SWEET APPLE ACRES
You walk through town as the stars twinkle above. The streets are empty, save for the warm glow from all the windows. You trudge on. And on. And on. It doesn't feel right, this town. It's too peaceful after what you've seen. The news must not have traveled this far yet. All the families huddled together in peace and love will be huddled in fear all too soon. You slump to the ground, leaning against a street sign. Do you even belong here anymore? As you sadly walk towards your shed, you can't help but think,
I came here in a hurry for no reason. Sure, I saved Octavia, but Nightshade left with the Deadly Five and Fluttershy to Canterlot after I left and they should be here tomorrow. Which is fine, I can't wait to see my-
Your thoughts are interrupted when you hear something running towards you. You look up just in time to see Winona jump into you and start licking your face.
"Whoa! Whoa, girl! Okay, okay, you're happy to see me!"
She jumps off of you and bounds back and forth, finally crouching down and wagging her tail.
"You don't understand either, do you? You don't know what I've done..."
Her tail stops wagging and she picks up her head, tilting it to the side.
"Although... I've heard animals have some kind of sixth sense. Fluttershy certainly makes it sound like you know more than most ponies think you do."
Winona whines and takes one step forward.
"Do you know what I did, girl? Can you smell the blood on me?" You hold up your hoof. "Do you know what this hoof just did to a stallion you never met before?"
She leans in and sniffs your hoof before she gives it a small lick.
"I what that means... I wish I knew what you were thinking." You lean your head back against the post. "Or maybe that would make me feel worse. It's bad enough knowing what ponies think of me..."
Winona wines again and walks behind the post and comes back around with a pink ball in her mouth. You see a tag with "In case of ball emergencies!" written on it before she rolls it over to you and crouches down again, wagging her tail.
"...Snrk!"
You can't help yourself as you laugh, even as Winona noses the ball closer to you. You finally pick it up and throw it towards Sweet Apple Acres, standing up and following after the chasing dog.
As you finally reach your shack (and after multiple games of fetch on the way here) you bid the dog farewell as you enter the shack. You sigh sadly, as you plop down onto the cot and begin to think in despair...
BrownDog77 comment
I killed someone... Even if he did deserve it, I didn't have to. He was beaten, but I let my anger control me. It's time for the Hooded Offender to go away, for the Horde to go away so that noling else will do what has happened this night. Fluttershy, Cadance... I hope they'll understand.
Before long, you fade off to sleep and encounter Selena within the dreamscape
“Please Bugze... Please... I’m sorry...” Selena says in sadness.
“No, I’m sorry Selena.” you tell her.
“What?” she asks clearly taken aback.
“It wasn't you that did this... it was me... all me... I’m sorry.”
“I... I don’t...” she sputters.
“You tried to stop me, you looked out for me... and I didn't listen... I’m not going to punish you for my mistakes. I’m sorry I made you promise that in the first place.”
“I... thank you,” she says sounding relieved.
“I don’t think I’ll ever kill again...” You tell her.
“C-can you not take comfort that only the murderer died?” she asks.
“I’m trying... I mean, yeah he deserved it, but...” you put your head down. "Listen, I’m sorry I threatened you before. I’m sorry about our pact... can we start over?”
“How?”
“Can you just promise me, just a plain old promise that we’ll never do this again... please.”
“...I promise you my friend, I will not kill, and I will do my best to ensure that you never take another life.” She says before she does something you don’t expect, “Cross my heart, and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”
“Did you just Pinkie Promise?” you ask in disbelief as you tilt your head in confusion.
“That mare’s wrath scares me, so you know I’m completely serious” she smiles at you.
“Thank you,” you smile back.
“We will get through this Bugze... we have to. We still have this ‘Nightmare Comes’ situation to contend with.”
A realization hits you like a slingshot Falcon Punch to the face causing you to yell,
“Oh... Buck! I knew I forgot to tell the Doctor something!”
Your eye twitches in annoyance as you yell,
"BUCK YOU LADY LUCK!!!"
THE NEXT MORNING, THE TRAIN STATION
You walk back and forth nervously as you wait for the train Nightshade is supposed to be on to arrived. You were so nervous that yo forgot to eat breakfast! Just as you think it's gonna be late, you see the train come into the station. You smile in happiness as the doors open to revel Nightshade with the Deadly Five and Fluttershy behind her. Nightshade gives you a bright grin as she yells,
"DADDY!"
Before tackle-hugging you, and you can't help but chuckle at this even as you do your mental best to hold back tears, you don't want Nightshade to see you crying now. But your happy moment is ruined when Nightshade asks,
"Uh... Daddy? What happened to your eye?"
You also hear multiple gasp come from behind Nightshade. You sigh in sadness as you think,
Really should have gotten something to cover my scar before coming here...
What do you do?
Episode 56: Marked For Life, Both In Mind And Body
"Uh... Daddy? What happened to your eye?" Ask Nightshade worried You begin to think, as you see the look of the other mares, they suspect something but they don't seem to want to say it. "I... Uhhh... I did it with a branch of a tree when I was walking and thinking without looking around" Say as a excuse Nightshade and the others seem to believe it at all except Applejack that look to you one second like if she want to say something but instead she let it go and all of you leave without talking about.
give Nightshade her present. She's overjoyed at her first video game... until she remembers she doesn't have a console ("D'oh!"). When it's brought up that the video game you got her was banned by Celestia, Twilight tries to take it away, but Nightshade says "Look, a distraction!" and bolts off with the game causing you to comment "That's my girl..."
"Uh... Daddy? What happened to your eye?" Nightshade asks.
The mares all notice and look at your diagonal eye scar too. Needing an excuse, you say the first thing that pops to mind.
"I... Uhhh... got hit with a branch of a tree when I was walking and thinking without looking around, yeah!"
Nightshade and the others seem to believe it at all except Applejack who looks at you suspiciously. Deciding to disarm the situation, you reach into the Inventory as you say,
"I know this is late honey but..."
You pull out Hatred and hold it out to her as you continue,
"Merry Hearth's Warming Eve."
Nightshade grabs the game and excitedly says,
"Watashi no saisho no bideogēmu! Sugoi! Soshite, soreha bōryoku-teki ni mie, i~ēi bōryoku!" (My first video game?! Awesome! And it looks violent, yay violence!)
The other mares (and Spike) smile at Nightshade's excited happiness as she asks,
"So Daddy, what's this game about?"
You scratch behind your head in embarrassment as you say,
"I... honestly don't know Sweetie, but Solar Fla- I mean Princess Celestia banned it a few years back, so it must be awesome for a foal your age cause logic!"
Nightshade nods her head at your 'logic' and is about to say something when the game is suddenly snatched from her in a violet colored aura. With a cry of "Hey!" you and Nightshade look over to Twilight with glares, only for Twilight to glare back as she says,
"If Princess Celestia banned this game, then there must be a very good reason for a foal her age to not play. I think we should just take this game to the local guard an-"
Her sentence is interrupted as a rainbow blur zips by and the game in no longer in her magical grasp. Rainbow lands next to you with the game in her hoof as she says,
"Sorry Twi, but B.S. is right. Banned games are often the best games! I say we let her play it-"
Suddenly, a white aura grabs the game as Rarity says,
"I say we bury this piece of trash. Just look at this cover art, it's absolutely hideous! Plus I've heard the nasty rumors about this game, we should just get rid of it!"
As soon as she said that a pink blur grabs the game as Pinkie says excitedly,
"I think we should let her play it. Who knows it could have been banned because there was just to much cuteness in it! Ohmaybeitwasbannedbecausethereweretoomanysweetsthatyouhadtoeat! ButIdon'tseewhythatisabadbecauseeatingabunchofsweetsissuperdupercool!"
As you try to think of what the heck Pinkie just said, Applejack grabs the game and says,
"Sorry Pinkie, but this game is trash. There was a reason this game was banned and I intend to finish what Celestia started by smashing this thing."
Before she can, a huge argument breaks out between the Deadly Six and poor Fluttershy is stuck in the middle (literally, she's between the arguers). Applejack looks like she's have enough and looks like she's about to smash the game, but Nightshade jumps up and grabs it before quickly pointing behind all of you and yelling,
"LOOK, A DISTRACTION!"
You all turn around and see that there's nothing there! When you turn back, Nightshade's zipping down the street with her first HWE present. You can't help but give a sigh of fatherly pride as you say,
"That's my girl."
As you watch Nightshade run off, you suddenly put on a serious expression as you turn back to the Deadly Five and Fluttershy. They look at you in confusion as you say,
"What I'm about to tell you, you must never tell Nightshade, understand? She must never know about what really happened..."
They look at you in confusion as Applejack asks,
"Uh... what are you talking about sugarc- I mean Mister Tennant?"
You let out a heavy sigh as you say,
"Well, I lied about getting this scar while not watching where I'm going. You see... in Fillydelphia... well something really bad happened."
The Deadly Six and Fluttershy look at you in worry and confusion as Twilight asks,
"Mister Tennant... what happened?"
You let out another sigh as you say...
You let them know the truth, partially, make sure Nightshade doesn’t know the truth. “I was attacked during the Fillydelphia riot. A radical Horde member cut my eye, but…” “Wait now, hold on, Fillydelphia had a riot?” Twilight asks surprised. “Ya, last night most of the city was broken, here see” you hold up today’s paper everyone gasps at that, “how do you not know this?” “We just got on the train this morning, we hadn’t heard” Twilight proclaims, she then looks at the paper and gasps, “The Offender was involved, I should have known!”
“I was attacked during the Fillydelphia riot. A radical Horde member cut my eye-”
“THERE WAS A RIOT IN FILLDELPHIA?!” all the mares shout in surprise.
“Yeah, last night most of the city was broken. See?” you hold up today’s paper everyone gasps at that, “How do you not know this?”
“We just got on the train this morning, we hadn't heard” Twilight proclaims, she then looks at the paper and gasps, “The Offender was involved, I should have known!”
You stare at Twilight for a few seconds, before you realize that you just gave her a newspaper stating your biggest mistake yet! You resist the urge to facehoof as you think,
Buck! I just gave her the one thing that's gonna make the Deadly Five more determined to kill me! Plus Fluttershy is gonna find ou-
Your thought is cut off as you are suddenly surrounded by Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash who are fussing over you in worry...
She begins to read more while the others fuss over you, in particular, Rainbow Dash, AJ, and Fluttershy. “Oh my goodness are you OK?” “Who’s the varmit that cut you?” “Yeah, we’ll beat him into next week!” “I’m OK, I’m OK,” you reassure them, pushing each off of you, “The Hooded Offender saved me.” Fluttershy looks at you in knowing, while the rest feel conflicted, until Twilight says aloud. “Oh No…”
“Oh my goodness are you OK?”
“Who’s the varmint that cut you?”
“Yeah, we’ll beat him into next week!”
“I’m OK, I’m OK,” you reassure them, “The Hooded Offender saved me.”
Fluttershy looks at you in knowing, while the rest feel conflicted.
“Oh No...” Twilight says in disbelief.
The mares look over to Twilight in confusion at her comment as you think with a pained face,
Buck... they're gonna know about it! Fluttershy's gonna find out! She's never gonna trust me again!
As if to confirm your fears, Applejack asks the one question you wish Twilight didn't have the answer to...
“What, what is it Twi?” asks Applejack. “Th-the Offender…he killed somepony.” “WHAT!” the rest cry outloud. She begins to read the article outloud, and the others get more shocked as she reads. Fluttershy gives you a horrified look. “B-but he’s a hero…” Spike says to himself. “I-is this true?” Fluttershy asks you shakily “Y-yeah, it’s true” you admit, “I was there.”
“What, what is it Twi?”
“Th-the Offender... he killed somepony.”
“WHAT!” the rest cry out in disbelief.
Twilight begins to read the article out loud, and the others get more shocked as she reads as Fluttershy gives you a horrified look.
“B-but he’s a hero...” Spike says to himself.
“I-is this true?” Fluttershy asks you shakily
“Y-yeah, it’s true” you admit, “I was there.”
Flashes of what happened begin to appear in your mind, causing you to start shaking and hyperventilate, but noling seems to notice as Twilight continues to read the article. Your begin to shake even more as you think,
The way this reporter describes what happened... it feels so bucking real. Of course it was, I was there, I bucking did it!
You feel the accusing voices coming back as you grab your head in both pain and sorrow, but before you can even start ranting you hear someling ask loudly,
"Mister Tennant! Baker!? Snap out of it!"
Snapping back to reality, you look around in panic, expecting to see destroyed buildings and fire, but all you see is Spike and the mares looking at you in worry. You start to regain your normal breathing again as you say,
"I'm... I'm fine. Just some... bad memory's popping up. Don't worry Spike."
The mares look at you in doubt, but Spike accepts your answer with a nod. You're about to change the subject (to anything but this) when Twilight says...
“I can’t believe this, he was always a pain in the neck, but now he’s a killer to boot?” Twilight says. “The Varmit really bucked up this time” AJ says. “I-I didn’t really think he was that big of a meanie…” Pinkie adds. “How horrifying,” Rarity swoons. “That’s bucked up” Rainbow says. “H-how could y…he do this?” Fluttershy asks you directly. You look down in shame. “I don’t know” you say. The others look solemn as well until someone breaks the silence. “Well then again, he only did kill that Flag dude, and it sounds like he deserved it,” Rainbow says aloud, causing everyone, including yourself to look at her in shock.
“I can’t believe this, he was always a nuisance, but now he’s a murderer too?” Twilight says.
“The Varmint really bucked up this time...” Applejack comments.
“I-I didn't really think he was that big of a meanie...” Pinkie adds in an unusually sad tone.
“How horrifying...” Rarity swoons.
“That’s bucked up.” Rainbow says.
“H-how could y... he do this?” Fluttershy asks you directly.
You look down in shame.
“I-I don’t know” you say.
The others look solemn as well until a certain pegasus breaks the silence,
“Well then again, he only did kill that Flag dude, and it sounds like he deserved it,” Rainbow says aloud, causing everyone (including yourself) to suddenly look at her in shock. You stare at Rainbow in shock and anger as you think,
Don't bucking defend me! What I did was horrible and unacceptable!
Before you can voice this thought, Twilight cries out,
“Rainbow!” Twilight chides. “Oh Come on! This Flag guy broadcasts himself across the city, executes the freaking guard captain live, and blew up a bunch of buildings, he had it coming” she defends. “That’s not the point!” Twilight argues “It says here, in my own brother’s words, that the Offender brutally executed him, after he was beaten and captured!” “OK, ya that’s messed up, but still…” she says. “Why are you defending that varmit?” asks AJ. “Well…he did save Tennant right?” Rainbow speculates. They all turn to you and you nod. “Yeah, he did…still, even I don’t like what he did…I got out of there as soon as I could” you admit. Rainbow looks at you and the rest but then shrugs. Any other talk is interrupted as Spike burps up a letter. Twilight reads it then says aloud “Girls, come with me right now, we have to put some new contingency plans in place…his threat level is even higher now.” She rushes off with Spike, who still looks very conflicted. You look down in shame. “There there pardner,” AJ puts a hoof on your shoulder “It’s gonna be alright…how’s your family?” You look at her and say. “They’re good…safe for the moment.”
“Rainbow!”
“Oh Come on! This Flag guy broadcasts himself across the city, executes the freaking guard captain live, and blew up a bunch of buildings, he had it coming!” Rainbow defends.
“That’s not the point!” Twilight argues “It says here, in my own brother’s words, that the Offender brutally executed him, after he was beaten and captured!”
“OK, ya that’s messed up, but still...” she says.
“Why the hay are you of all ponies defending that varmint?” Applejack angrily demands,
“Well... he did save Tennant right?” Rainbow speculates.
They all turn to you and you nod,
“Yeah, he did... still, even I don’t like what he did... I got out of there as soon as I could...” you admit.
Rainbow looks at you and the rest but then shrugs. Before any talk could continue, Spike burps up a letter. Twilight reads it then says aloud,
“Girls, come with me right now, we have to put some new contingency plans in place... his threat level is even higher now.”
With that said, Twilight rushes off with Spike who still looks very conflicted and Rarity follows. You look down in shame.
“There there pardner,” Applejack says as she puts a hoof on your shoulder “It’s gonna be alright... how’s your family?”
You look at her and say,
“They’re good... safe for the moment.”
You look back towards the ground with a hardened glare as you think,
But as long as Flag's leftover nuts are still running around and the Horde is still a thing, Nightshade will never be safe...
You feel another pat on your back as you look back at Applejack as she says...
“That’s good…listen, take as much time as you need, I’ll see you back at the farm” She hugs you then runs off. “Hey look on the bright side, your scar looks pretty awesome,” Rainbow says as she tries to cheer you up. She hugs you to then flies off. Pinkie Pie crushes you in a big hug and whispers “Someone you know made a Pinkie Promise, I can sense it…Tell them to Never Break it, or else!” Selena gulps within your head. As the rest run off, you are left with Fluttershy who looks at you with tears in your eyes. “W-why Bugze? Why?”
“Listen... take as much time as you need, I’ll see you back at the farm” She hugs you then runs off after Twilight.
“Hey look on the bright side, your scar looks pretty awesome,” Rainbow says as she tries to cheer you up. She hugs you too before flying off.
Suddenly you feel yourself caught in a pink crusher grip before you hear Pinkie whisper,
“Someone you know made a Pinkie Promise, I can sense it... Tell them to Never break it, or else!”
*Gulp*
As the rest run off, you are left with Fluttershy who looks at you with tears in your eyes,
“W-why Hoody? Why?”
You look at her with so much regret, anger, sadness, and pain that you swear you were going to break down crying right there, but you managed to keep it together as you say,
You talk with her, explaining just a bit. You tell her that Octavia has set up a meeting and to talk to her. The Offender is going away, the Horde is going away. It’s for the best.
"Fluttershy... I know you must fear and even hate me right now, trust me when I say I'm not very fond of myself right now either..."
You sigh even more as you continue...
"Yes I did do it, I killed Flag Burner in a fit of rage. There's nothing I can do to change it. Even worse is that Flag Burner had a splinter group called the "Crimson Knights" and I caught a few holding Octavia down trying to get to Nightshade."
Fluttershy's eyes widen as she gasps in shock at this new information as you continue,
"I told her to start getting a meeting ready for us to talk about it. We need to get those truths out to the Horde and I don't want any more death because of me."
Fluttershy looks hesitant, but she eventually responds,
"O...OK I can arrange that. Are you sure you're alright?"
"No, I'm not." you sadly and bluntly reply, "All I want is to take my baby back to the shack, hold her close, and bawl my eyes out, but I can't even think about doing that until I'm sure that she's safe."
"You really do love her with all your heart, don't you?" Fluttershy asks sympathetically.
"Yes. Her mother and I both do with our all hearts. It was Flag Burner saying that he sent some ponies to get her that caused me to lose control and end him. Although I heard that they couldn't find his body, so that means that he could still be alive. I really don't know if I should hope that he's dead or alive at this point..."
Fluttershy looks solemn for a moment before she realizes something and says,
"Wait, you said that her mother and you BOTH love her. I thought she was, um... dead. You always said that she lived on in your mind."
"I did say that. but I never said she was dead. In fact you and Cadence have met her before... At the Gala."
Fluttershy goes wide-eyed realizing what you meant as she asks,
"So she was the one who..."
"Yep... Although she's calmed down a lot since then and has been trying to help me contain my rage and keep me from doing things I will regret. She even tried to hold me back from..."
You hesitate as you remember your deed, but you shake it off before continuing,
"She really is nice once you get to know her."
WHAT DOES THOU THINK THOU ART DOING YE IDIOT?! WHY DOTH YOU TELL HER ABOUT US? Selena yells inside your head.
You wince from the yelling and mentally respond,
I'm trying to tell a pony I trust the truth and hope for the best.
"Fluttershy," you say out loud, "I realize that this is a big secret to dump on you, but can I ask you to keep this as well as my true self from anypony?"
"Um, Sure I can. But... you haven't even told me her name."
"Her name is Selena."
As Fluttershy begins to walk away, you look at her and say,
"Fluttershy... the meeting isn't just a meeting."
She looks back at you in confusion as you continue,
"The Offender is going away, and with him everything that relates to him. Including the Horde. I'm sorry, but this meeting is going to end the Horde."
Fluttershy's eyes widen in surprise and is about to say something when you interrupt,,
"Sorry, but they need to go. They'll be safer if they just vanished, like..."
Flashbacks to your rant at Flag appear in your mind as you continue,
"...like a true Nobody should."
Fluttershy nods her head in sadness and then walks away. You sigh again, and walk away as you hope that she'll keep your secret... well your other secret at least.
You were a fool to tell her of my existence. With what's happening, you should trust nopony.
You sigh as you reply,
I know, but if she can keep you a secret, then I'll be able to relax a little bit. Now to go and find Nightshade, where did she tell us she was going again?
...She didn't tell us anything you imbecile.
You freeze in your tracks as you say,
"Eh?"
...*crack*
"BUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKK!"
AN HOUR OF ASKING AROUND TOWN LATER
Fortunately, she decides she can play on Button Mash's console. Reluctantly go to his house (Nightshade used "Puppy Eyes". It's super effective!) with her
"Hello- Oh, you must be Nightshade's father, Mr. Tennant. I'm-"
"Yeah that's me, have you seen my daughter?" you interrupt in a worried rush.
"She's in Button's room-"
She didn't get to finish as you rush past her into the house and whip out the Power Glove before bucking down the door and roaring,
"Would you kindly GET YOUR FILTHY HOOVES OFF MY-"*wham*
"FALCON KICK!"
Nightshade's flame-covered hoof slams into your nards sending you slamming into the hallway wall behind you.
"Mister Tennant!"
"Ohhhh, that's gotta hurt."
"Oh, Hi daddy." Nightshade says obliviously as she recognizes you.
"Nightshade, I think ya'll might have a tad anger issues..." Apple Bloom comments.
"Eh, runs in the family." Nightshade replies.
"That was awesome!" Button cheers, "You replicated Captain Falcon's attack perfectly! Teach me, oh wise one, in the ways of the Falcon Kick."
Button starts bowing to Nightshade and as you lose consciousness from the pain you manage to say,
"Tha... that's my girl...*thud*"
A FEW MINUTES LATER
"Owww..."
You moan groggily as you wake up and find yourself on a sofa with a bag of ice on your nether regions.
"What the b-"
"Finally awake?"
You turn towards the voice and see the mare from before with an annoyed look on her face.
"Who are you?" you ask in confusion.
"As I was trying to say before, I'm Elaina, Button Mash's mother and your daughter was playing the video game that YOU got her here with him and the Cutie Mark Crusaders because she doesn't have her own console." She responds with slight annoyance in her voice.
"Oh..." you realize awkwardly.
"Your daughter's pretty strong for a unicorn filly her age." she says as she walks back into the kitchen, "Not many foals can knock a fully-grown stallion into a wall hard enough to leave a dent, but that probably explains her appetite."
"What did she devour this time?" you ask in a 'not surprised' tone.
"The little dear ate every single snack I gave her. Yet for some reason whenever I went to get more, there's always less food there then I remember. Which is strange because I just went shopping yesterday..."
You nod your head at her answer as you begin to look around the living, when you spot a old-looking game system. You stare at it in confusion as you ask Elaina (who just walked into the room),
"Hey Ms. Elaina, what's that thing?"
Elaina looks at where your pointing, and giggles slightly as she says,
"Oh that old thing, it's my old Pong game system. I used to play this all the time back in the old days. Here, let me fire it up and we can go a round on it."
As Elaina goes to start up this... really old system with a classic game, you hear a familiar voice in your head say,
While at Button's house, the colt's mother brings down an old video game machine for you two to play. Perhaps you should mate with this one. Excuse me?! Think about it. If the two of you share relations, it would make her colt consider the same act with our daughter... how the devil do you say it? "Make it weird?" The mare is rather pretty. And she has an original machine of Pong. How many more times will you find that combination? "So... Pong, huh? Where did you get this anyway?" "It's Button's father's, actually. We would play all the time when we were younger." "His father?" "Oh, yes. He's on a business trip this week." Well, so much for that idea. She finishes getting the machine ready and smiles at you. "Loser tells the foals it's time to turn their game off!"
Perhaps you should mate with this one.
Excuse me?! you think in shock.
Think about it. If the two of you share relations, it would make her colt consider the same act with our daughter... how the me do you say it? "Awkward?"
Well... she does have an original machine of Pong. How many mares have that?! Plus her eyes look like Octavia's and her flanks have got it going on- NO! BAD BUG!
"So... Pong, huh? Where did you get this anyway?" you say in an attempt to keep your thoughts clean as a little blood trickles from your nose under your face mask and scarf.
"It's Button's father's, actually. We would play all the time when we were younger."
"Oh- wait, His father?"
"Oh, yes. He's on a business trip this week."
Well, so much for that idea.
Elaina finishes getting the machine ready and smiles at you,
"Loser tells the foals it's time to turn their game off!"
You smile competitively as you say,
"Bring it on!"
Well, that's going to be a long session of Pong that only two true gamers will enjoy, so let's see what Nightshade and the gang are up to...
Meanwhile, Nightshade is playing Hatred while her friends are being put off by its brutal mindless violence.
“This is horrible, why are ya'll just going around killing innocent ponies?” Apple Bloom asks as the onscreen character executes a Pegasus stallion with his crossbow.
“I don’t know!” Button wails in sorrow, “Let’s just stop playing…”
“Please, this is scary!” Sweetie yells as she and the rest of the crusaders cover their eyes as the onscreen character repeatedly stabs a Royal Guardpony in the nether regions with his knife.
“Really? I mean this game is kinda sick, but from what Daddy tells me, I thought the whole point of video games was to kill things in the most-”
“You’re in my way sir!” one of the mares on the screen says in a familiar voice.
“I need to check this so hold on. This mare is doing something with her voice and I don't know what it is, but I never forget an flankhole, Come on, where is she...” She flips the box over and reads through the voice actors,
“Let’s see, Stallions 1-10: Northern Nolan, Mares 1-5: Felicia Daily, I don’t know them,” she reads off, “Mares 6-20 The Great and Powerful Tri- what the buck?”
“You’re in my way sir!” Trixie’s haughty voice now recognized comes through to her.
“WHAT THE BUCK!” she yells in anger as she remembers Trixie’s betrayal.
“Get out of the way!” Trixie’s voice says from the screen,
“GGGGRRRRAAAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!”, Nightshade’s eyes glow white as she screams, “SCREW THE INNOCENTS! KILL THIS MOTHERBUCKER AND RAVAGE HER HEART OUT AS YOU WATCH THE WORLD BURN!!!”
She grabs the controller even tighter and begins slaughtering every mare with Trixie’s voice in a blood frenzy, laughing manically,
Applebloom does the only thing she can think of and smashes the console, which snaps Nightshade out of it.
“My console!” Button whines.
“Sorry Button, I had to do something...” Applebloom apologizes.
Nightshade shakes her head before looking at them sheepishly as she realizes she may have went a little nuts.
“Heh heh... sorry?” she says as she looks at Button’s mom.
“...I think I’m going to have a little talk with your father” she says sternly.
“Buck…” Nightshade whimpers.
"MISTER TENNANT GET OVER HERE!!!"
As Button's mom calls out for Bugze, Nightshade can't help but think,
I done bucked up...
POV Change: Bugze (you)
"MISTER TENNANT, GET OVER HERE!"
You jump at the yell, causing pain to come from your still sore you-know-what area, and you can't help but think,
What happened? She lost and she was just gonna tell them to get off like we agreed, I wonder why she's so mad?
With that thought you walk over to Buttons room and walk in and say,
"Yo, what do you need Eliaaaaaaaaaa...."
You eyes widen in shock as you see the broken console and Nightshade sitting in the corner with waves of sadness radiating off of her. You turn towards Elaina and ask,
"Uhhhhh... what happened?"
Before Elaina could answer, Button chimes in,
"Nightshade went loco after she found out that some pony named 'Trixie' was a voice actresses in the game you bought. (*snap*) I mean I know this Trixie wasn't that good of a actress, but I wonder why she went so cra... zy..."
Everypony backs away a bit as your eyes glow orange at the mention of her name as you growl,
"Mr. Tennant, why would you give such a young filly such a violent game?" Elaina indignantly asks.
"Oh come one, I've played plenty of violent video games at her size and I turned out alri- SPIDER!!!"
You whip out the Power Glove and yell,
"Would you kindly BUR-"
"Daddy! Don't hurt the cute widdle spider!" Nightshade yells as she picks up the spider and starts petting it like a hamster.
Deciding to see what the fuss is about, you patch Button's console and start playing Hatred yourself. It starts with a large unicorn with a wild long barbarian mane and a trenchcoat giving a gritty speech on how he hates everypony as he loads a repeating crossbow and stocks up on weapons.
"If I had a bit for every gritty speech I've seen in an action flick or video game I would never have to worry about feeding Nightshade again..." you comment.
When the unicorn exits the house you ask,
"What's my goal again?"
"Weren't you listening to Not Important's speech? You have to kill everypony in sight."
"So... it's basically just free-roam mode in any Grand Theft Carriage game? Why would that be so-"
You're cut off when the unicorn grabs the nearest Royal Guard stallion and snaps his neck. Seeing how you've played every Alicorn of War game, a snapped neck is a pretty tame and usual way of killing in a video game. However, this time it causes a flashback to Fillydelphia...
"NOT AGAIN, NOT AGAIN, NOT AGAIN! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT BUCKING STOP!" you scream as you grab the game out of the console and start smashing it in a frenzy as you rant, "I DIDN'T MEANT IT TO HAPPEN, STOP IT! I NEVER WANTED THIS!!!"
Your rant is suddenly ended when a boot is thrown at your head. You look around in confusion only to see Nightshade (and the rest) looking at you in fear and worry. You sigh as you say...
"Sorry... Just had some really bad memories..."
You look out the window and see that the sun is setting. Seeing an opportunity to leave, you quickly say,
"Hey, look at the sun. It looks like it's getting late, I'm gonna take Nightshade home. Say goodbye to your friends Sweetie."
"I have to leave too?" Sweetie Belle asks in confusion
You, Nightshade, and everyling else looks over to the confused Sweetie Bell and you all say at the same time,
As you and Nightshade begin to walk back to the shack you both live in, you start thinking about the matter of the Crimson Knights...
As long as those nuts are around, my Nightshade will never be safe. I don't even have any way of knowing how many ponies Flag Burner shared her name with. I need some supplies- Oh, that's convenient.
To keep Nightshade away from the power tools, you leave her outside the front door with some food ("0 carrots" remaining in The Inventory) and a dare that she can't resist eating it while you shop. If she wins, she gets to pick to movies you watch tonight.
You walk up to the stallion behind the counter and ask,
"Do you know how to build a carbonite chamber?"
He blinks and shakes his head.
\"Okay, how about a mechanism that will launch a volley of arrows at any unsuspecting fool that steps on a pressure switch? Can you help me build that?"
Again, he shakes his head.
"Really? Well how about shovels? Do you have any shovels?"
"I'm almost afraid to ask, but why do you want shovels?"
"So I can dig a pit, put sharp spikes at the bottom, then cover the top with a net of leaves so nopony knows it's a pit. Obviously."
"And can you tell me why I shouldn't run screaming to the nearest guard station right now?" he asks.
"Oh! Uh... I'm a gardener?"
"I don't believe you."
"No no no, really! I'm just... trying to plant trees! Yeah. Trees. With carbonite. And arrows."
"Yeah... the guard station is sounding like a very good idea to me right now. What kind of trees are you-"
"Daddy, you win. I got bored. Can we go home now?" Nightshade says as she walks in.
You point to her. The stallion smiles and nods,
"Home defense. You could have just said so. I've got something that could help."
He goes to the back and returns, giving you a catalog.
"All you need is in there. Land mines, razor wire, Keep-Out signs with self-destruct proximity triggers, everything. Go wild. Just forget that you got that from me."
You smirk and wink,
"Got what from you?"
Nightshade tilts her head and obviously says,
"That catalog of lethal weapons that can in no possible way be legal. What else would he be talking about?"
You and the shop owner sweat drop at Nightshades bluntness, but you just laugh it off as you suddenly get a idea and ask,
"Hey, you also wouldn't have any kind of item that can magically deliver any letter you want to anypony you want to by just thinking about said pony do you?"
The shop owner gives you a blank stare for a few seconds before he smiles and says,
"Yep, a few actually. There's enchanted can's that, when you put a letter in them and think of the pony you want to send the letter to, instantly transport to the pony your thinking of."
You look at him in surprise as you ask,
"Really?"
The owner just glares at you as he says,
"No you idiot, do you know how much enchantments cost now a days?"
You chuckle nervously as you say,
"Hehehe, so about those traps...
AN HOUR LATER
You managed to score a deal with the owner of five set's of trap materiel for only 20 Bits, it would have been more but Nightshade brought out the 'Puppy Dogs' look and the owner caved in.
5 sets of Trap Materials added to the Inventory 21 Bits Remaining
You head to the Post Office to write a letter to Cadance.
As you and Nightshade once again begin your walk back to the shack, you walk by the post office. You were just gonna walk past it, when you remember another one of your friends that should know about what happen. She is your first ever friend after all, so she should find out from you. With that you and Nightshade walk into the post office as you think,
Cadance... please forgive me...
A FEW HOURS LATER
After shipping off the letter with the "Secret Speedy Express" option (18 Bits remaining), you and Nightshade arrived back at Sweet Apple Acres when your stomach started growling really loud.
"Woah! Daddy, was that your stomach or did King Ghidorah come back for round two?"
Nightshade looks around with caution as she says that, but you can't help but chuckle as you say,
"Don't worry dear, that was just my stomach. I haven't eaten in... woah I haven't eaten in days! Luna, I'm starving, what do you want to eat?"
"I'm not hungry." Nightshade responds,
"Okay that's *crack* WHAAAAAATTT?! How come YOU of all ponies aren't hungry? How can this be?!"
Nightshade chuckles sheepishly as she says,
"Well, I might have, sorta, kinda ate all of Button's food back at his house..."
You stare at her in shock as you say,
"You ate all of Elaina's food?!"
"Hehehe... yes."
You can't help but facehoof as you say,
"Welp, Elaina is gonna kill me for sure..."
You stomach growls again as you throw your hooves into the air and say,
"Ah screw it, I'm gonna make me some grub."
With that you go into the main house and borrow some bowls, pots, utensils, and a few apples from Granny Smith before taking them back to the shed and (using the lantern to cook) make a feast for yourself,
0 Pre-prepared Salads 0 Cans of Broccoli Cheese Soup 0 Cans of Tomato Cream Soup 0 Boxes of Crackers 10 Granola bars 5 Water bottles 0 Cans of powdered milk Remaining in the Inventory
"Uh Daddy, why are you eating so much. It's not like you were in a brawl with two groups of ponies who all want to kill you... right?" Nightshade asks.
Not wanting to stop your meal, you change the subject as you down a granola bar,
"So sweetie, (*munch*) how was Ponyville while I was gone. (*gulp*) Anything interesting happen?"
Nightshade beams at you as she says...
When you and Nightshade go back home to the shack, you ask her what she did while you were gone. Among the highlights -Made the Cake twins her new minions against Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon
Nightshade nods her head rapidly as she says,
"Yeah! Mrs. Cake had foals!"
You look at her surprise as you say,
"Oh! Sweet, That explains why I haven't seen them in days. What are their names?"
Nightshade smiles as she says,
"The boy pegasus name is Pound Cake, while the girl unicorn's name is Pumpkin Cake!"
While she is giving you a adorable smile, your eye is just twitching as you think while dipping crackers into the big bowl of Broccoli Cheese soup,
How did two earth ponies get a pegasus and a unicorn for kids? Then again I have a alicorn for a child soooo...
Before you can continue that thought, Nightshade gets a mischievous look as she says,
"I made them my minions! I made it their job to torture Diamond Tiara and Sliver Spoon whenever they're at Sugarcube Corner!"
FLASHBACK TO A FEW DAYS AGO
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon are making fun of the Cutie Mark Crusaders as usual when Nightshade comes over carrying the baby foals.
"BABIES, ATTACK!!!" Nightshade yells as she throws the babies who cry out in glee at the short flight before they land on the bullies.
"Ahhhhh! The little beast is denting my tiara!" Diamond Tiara whines as Pound starts... well pounding Diamond's tiara.
"She's eating my glasses! Ew ew ew ew *wham*" Silver Spoon panics before running straight into a wall.
BACK TO PRESENT
"Soon those two motherbuckers won't ever set hoof near Sugarcube Corner ever again MWHAHAHAHAH!"
Lighting flashes behind her as she laughs evilly. Now most parents would be concerned about their child laughing evilly, you on the other hand...
"*sniff* They grow up so fast..."
Tears of pride slide down your face at how proud you are of your daughter and her evil laugh, but she suddenly stops as she says,
-Pinkie was annoying a Donkey who moved to Ponyville
"Oh, and a donkey moved to Ponyville too, but I never really got a chance to meet him cause Pinkie kept on bugging him. I think he's name was Cranky Doodle... something, I can't remember?"
Your eye can't help but twitch as you think,
Dang it Pinkie! If someling has 'Cranky' in their name then expect not to make friends with them! Don't bug them so much.
You shake your head from Pinkies actions as you ask,
"So, how was Canterlot? Did you meet any new ponies or... *snap* colts?"
You said that last part with a threatening tone as you glare out the window and violently chew the tomato-cream-soup-dipped crackers. Nightshade just shakes her head as she says...
-Went to Canterlot with the Mane 6 where she stayed around Fluttershy most of the time (although Applejack and Rainbow Dash did argue, but when Nightshade (copying a line she heard) said "JUST KISS ALREADY!", the fillyfoolers started blushing while Rarity and Pinkie started laughing) -While in Canterlot after the play, she, Twilight, Pinkie, and Spike got to be ninjas/Snakes and break into the library where Twilight time traveled.
"No Daddy, I didn't meet any colts. I stayed around Fluttershy most of the time. We went over to this play they were performing in, but before we could even start, the fillyfoolers started to fight. Something about how you would like one of their costumes better. And then Rainbow said something, but Fluttershy covered my ears before I can hear what she said. But it must have been something really cool cause Fluttershy was blushing really badly and she had some blood coming outta her nose, like you do sometimes daddy!"
You 'urk' in shock and gag on a mouthful of salad as you think,
What!? There's no way Sweet, Innocent Fluttershy could have a dirty thought. I refuse to believe that!
Huh... I always figured she was the closet type-
SHUT UP SELENA!
Before you can continue your mental argument, Nightshade says,
"So anyway, the shows about to begin and they're still fighting. So I thought, 'What 'would my Daddy do?' and I got an idea and yelled "JUST KISS ALREADY!" at them. Then the fillyfoolers started blushing while Tacky McStabby Flank and Pinkie started laughing-"
"*spittake* BWAHAHAHAHAHAH *cough* OH MY SIDES HAAHAHHAAHAHAHHA!"
You are now rolling on the floor holding your sides in pain as you continue to laugh at the Fillyfoolers' misfortune. You continue to laugh for a good few minutes, and by the time you calm down Nightshade has a confused look on her face as she asks,
"What's so funny Daddy?"
You wipe a few tears form your eye's as you say,
"Nothing... nothing sweetie. I just needed a good laugh."
You open up another box of crackers to finish off the last of the tomato cream soup as you continue,
"So anything else happen?"
Nightshade nods her head as she says,
"After the play, me, Twilight, Pinkie, and Spike got to be ninja snakes and break into the library where Twilight then time traveled."
You stare at her blankly as you say,
"...Twilight sure is crazy huh?"
Nightshade nods her head as she says,
"Yep! Isn't that awesome?"
You chuckle at her attitude as you say,
"Yeah...I guess it is. Anyway off to bed with you, you have school tomorrow."
"But Daaaaaaad. You said you would pick the movies we'd watch tonight." Nightshade whines.
"I said if you didn't eat the carrots you could choose the movies, but since I won I choose we don't see any movies." you counter.
"Awwww..." Nightshade whines as you put her back in the Inventory. You lay on the cot and try to get to sleep when some thoughts drift through your head...
As you head back to the Farm, you have a few more thoughts. 1. Who was the “He” that Flag Burner was talking about before you killed him? The one who wants your power. 2. Who were those Changelings? The female one knew who you were, your old drone number anyway…who was she? They’d obviously been following you, so now you have to be on the lookout for her. They wanted me to stop Flag, and she said she’d meet you when it was safe. 3. What in the Buck does “The Nightmare Comes” Mean?!
Who were those Changelings? The female one knew who I was (well my old drone number anyway) even with the hood on. They’d obviously been following me, so now I got to keep an eye out for her. They wanted me to stop Flag, and she said she’d meet me when it was safe. And who was the “He” that Flag Burner was talking about before I... killed him? And what in the Buck does “The Nightmare Comes” mean?!
You sigh in annoyance at all these unsolved questions, but you stare out the window in your shack with determination until the digestion kicks in and you start to fall asleep...
"I can't sleep."
Your eyes shoot open and you see Nightshade out of the Inventory.
"Why can't you sleep honey?"
Nightshade looks at the ground in embarrassment as she says,
"I don't know, I used to sleep just fine, but when I couldn't sleep while I was staying at Fluttershy's, she sang to me this pretty lullaby and I fell asleep instantly."
You smile at Nightshade, when you suddenly grab your head in pain as a image flashes before your eyes,
FLASHBACK! TIME
We see a little changeling with tears in his eyes trying to sleep, but to no avail.
Suddenly, a female changeling walks into the image. Her features are blurred, but for some reason you can't help but think she's giving the young bug a motherly smile. The female changeling then says something, but you can't hear what she's saying. The young bug shakes his head, and you feel the female changeling smile again. Suddenly, you hear a gentle tone began to play. The female changeling looks like she's about to sing, but before she can the image vanishes...
BACK TO THE PRESENT
You stop holding your head in pain as you look at your hoof. There are tears in your eyes as you can't help but think,
That couldn't have been... mom?
"Daddy...?"
You snap out of your daze as you see Nightshade looking at you in worry. You give her a fatherly smile as you say,
"Don't worry sweetie, I know something that'll help ya sleep."
And with that you begin to sing (lyrics come by instinct activated by the tone of that potential memory) while you tuck Nightshade into your cot (you decided to sleep on the floor tonight),
"Good night Nightshade." you whisper before thinking,
No matter what... I will find the truth. I will stop whoever wants my power and whatever this 'Nightmare' is. And most importantly...
You stare at Nightshade's sleeping form as you continue thinking in determination,
I will protect my family at all costs. Noling will ever hurt them. Not if I have anything to say about it...
With that, you use an overturned bowl and your Seventh Doctor hat as a pillow and your Tenth Doctor longcoat as a blanket as you fall asleep on the floor of the shack.
CANTERLOT...
POV Change: ????
Should I open this? I trusted him and protected him like a little brother and now he's wanted for murder! Should I just throw away this letter, pretend it never existed, and expose him for what he really is; a monster. Or should I stay true to my heart and hear him out. Oh, why can't this decision be easy!
In front of this pony, as their thinking in panic, is a desk. And on this desk is a simple envelope. There is nothing special about this envelope, there is no secret hidden within it. There is no kind of treasure map within or a surprise worth a Pinkie gasp. No, the only thing that is on this envelope is a name. That name is...
Bugze
Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, the princess of love, has a tough decision to make....
Should she or should she not open a killer's letter addressed to her?
Cadence suddenly stops her pacing as she looks around in confusion and thinks,
That's strange, I suddenly felt as if over 130 people are watching me and deciding how I'm gonna go about this situation.
Cadences just shakes her head at this ridiculous, untrue, totally-not-actually-happening thought as she goes back to her pacing as she mutters...
Cadence mutters to herself: What should I do? I can't believe he could just kill a pony so mercilessly, even if Flag Burner was bad and hurt others. I know that Shiny said that Burner was whispering something to him before, what could he have possibly said to make Bugze snap
"What should I do? I still can't believe Bugze would just kill a pony so mercilessly, even if Flag Burner was bad and hurting others. I know that Shiny said that Burner was whispering something to him before, what could he have possibly said to make Bugze snap..."
Cadence shakes her head as she says,
"Okay Cadence, let's calm down here. Let's go over your options and see which one is best. Okay, there's...
As of right now, you have several options that you can take right now. 1. Open the letter and read it. Even Bugze did something horrible, you know that he's not a bad bug, and hopefully he has a good explanation for this. 2. Don't read the letter and see where it came from. Maybe you can find Bugze and then make him explain himself in person. 3. Don't read the letter and tell Shining and let him take over for finding Bugze. 4. Don't read the letter and burn it. Proceed to act like you never got it in the first place.
"One, open the letter and read it. Even if Bugze did something horrible, he's not a bad bug and hopefully he has a good explanation for this. Two, I don't read the letter and see where it came from. Maybe I can find Bugze and then make him explain himself in person. Thirdly, I don't read the letter, tell Shining, and let him take over finding Bugze. Fourth I don't read the letter and burn it and just act like I never got it in the first place."
Cadence grabs her head in annoyance as she yells,
"I CAN'T DECIDE!"
"Uh... can't decide what your highness?"
Cadence gasps in shock before quickly hiding the letter in her desk as she turns around and sees...
Before you can decide what to do about the letter, a Royal Guard knocks on your door, telling you you've been summoned to a war council.
Go to an emergency royal council meeting that Celestia called for between herself Cadance, Shining Armor, and Luna about the events in Fillydelphia. In the meeting;
One of Celestia's Royal Guards. Cadence calms down slightly as she says,
"I can't decide... on what dress I should wear for me and Shining's date, Yeah! Anyway, did you need something?"
The Guard returns to his usual "stoic-guard-demeanor" ways as he says,
"You are required at Equestria Emergency Council at the war room your highness."
Cadence sighs as she figured that this was gonna happen, so with a deep breath she says,
"Okay, tell Auntie that I'll be there soon."
The guard salutes her before he leaves. Cadence takes a deep breath as she puts the envelope away before she exits her chambers and begins to head to the war room. As she walks, there's only one thing going through her mind,
Even if Bugze is guilty, I won't let them kill him. No matter what...
Celestia, Luna, Cadence, and Shining Armor all stood around a round table, a map of Equestria spread out before them.
"Our guards will perform a massive sweep across the country," Shining explained, "We'll cut south, all the way to Machintosh Hills, and then two groups of guards will head in opposite directions from there, one going northwest and the other northeast. After sweeping across the west and east coasts of Equestria, they'll circle back around and meet at the foot of the Crystal Mountains."
Shining subtly winked at Cadance who didn't miss the fact that the sweep across Equestria was in the shape of a heart.
"Excellent strategy as always," Celestia complimented, "And what will you do when you do manage to root out the Offender?"
"We disable him and bring him back here," Shining said, "He needs to be put somewhere far and deep away, where he can't hurt anypony else."
"I couldn't agree more," Celestia said, "Though his intentions may be benign, the way he executes them is unforgivable. He will be imprisoned at least." Luna gave a small cough, drawing Celestia's attention,
"Yes, sister. What is it?"
"We... we only wonder if chasing the Offender is the best course of action here?" she said.
Shining Armor stared in shock,
"You mean to let him go free, and leave a murderer to his own devices?"
"No, of course not," Luna replies defensively, "I merely mean that the Offender sees us as a threat to his daughter, and our dogged pursuit could endanger his daughter and thus only deepen his hatred for us. And... we did allow something like the Crimson Hearth's Warming to occur."
To the shocked looks she received, Luna elaborated,
"I only mean that it was under our jurisdiction that something as horrid as this event was able to become reality. We messed up, and we ought to tighten or reform our security problems so that something like this never happens again. In the meantime, I think we should announce the stallionhunt as a search for these Crimson members of the Horde. If the Offender pops up during the search, so be it. If not... I honestly doubt that we'll be hearing from him anytime soon."
As Luna is explain all this, Cadance is thinking in the meantime,
His daughter? What does she mean by his dau-
*ding*
A light bulb suddenly appears above Cadences head as she thinks,
That's it! Bugze wouldn't never kill somepony in cold blood. That Flag stallion must have threatened his daughter during the riot. That has to be it! Like at the gala when Blueblood threatened her, he went berserk and fell under whatever that thing was's spell. Even though what he did is wrong, I can at least use this to make sure nopony tires to kill him...
Cadence nods her head at her conclusion as Shining says,
"I still don't like it," Shining said. "It seems like we're just letting a brutal murder slide." "Shining," Cadence said. "The Offen... Bugze killed out of rage, but it was rage borne of love. Flag Burner threatened his daughter, just as we would if we outright hunt him." Shining still looked reluctant until Cadence added, "It'd be like if somepony threatened me." Shining gave a deep sigh before he said, "OK."
"I still don't like it," Shining says with disapproval, "It seems like we're just letting a brutal murder slide..."
"Shining," Cadence said, "The Offen... Bugze killed out of rage, but it was rage borne of love."
"Love?" Shining asks in confusion.
"Yes, that has to be what Flag Burner was whispering to Bugze at Fillydelphia. Flag Burner must have threatened his daughter."
Shining still looked reluctant until Cadence added,
"It'd be like if somepony threatened me..."
Shining gave a deep sigh before he responds, "OK."
Cadence sighs quietly to herself as she thinks,
Good, at least now they won't try to hurt him. As long as we don't try to hurt Bugze's daughter, nopony will get hurt. Maybe now I should read that letter, maybe Bugze really did only kill to save his daughter, and if that's the case then-
However, Cadences thoughts are interrupted as Luna suddenly says,
Luna breaths a sigh of relief at Shining's acceptance of the search direction. "In all likelihood, the Offender will lie low. He has done that before after being seen. We could also issue a Smite-on-Sight order, just in case somepony sees something."
"In all likelihood, the Offender will lie low. He tends to do that before after being seen. We could also issue a Smite-on-Sight order, just in case..."
Gasps of shock come from all around the table as Shining, Celestia, and Cadence look at Luna in surprise, but Cadences (and Celestia's) looks change from shock/horror to confusion as Cadence thinks,
What the...? There's some glint in Luna's eyes, as if she knows something we don't. Does she have sort of plan to hurt Bugze? No, that dosen't matter for now! I won't let her hurt him!
With that thought, Cadence is about to speak out against that plan, when Celestia beats her to the punch as she says,
"No, Sister, I outlawed Smite-on-Sight orders centuries ago. All they are good for is drawing money-grubbing bounty hunters to the castle gates, dragging any poor pony they can find that looks like the wanted poster,"
Luna is about to say something when Celestia interrupts,
"I have already canceled the 'Dead' part of the 'Dead or Alive' order I impulsively ordered yesterday. I was not in a proper state of mind at the time..."
Celestia mutters something about 'no cake my flank...' as Shining responds,
"I agree, I must speak frankly, your Highnesses, We aren't going to bring the Offender down with anything less than an army. He's only getting stronger. Each time we see him, he's developed new powers and abilities. Sending bounty hunters after him will only result in more property damage and crowded emergency rooms."
"There's another way," Cadance says causing all eyes to turn to her, "He's... he's not a monster. What if we give him an olive branch? Maybe we can convince him to-"
"No." Celestia sighs as she shakes her head, "You have already repaid your debt to this creature, Cadance."
"What? No! He saved my life! How could I-"
"And you might have saved his." Celestia interrupts, "Do you recall the incident of the unconscious guard in my sister's private quarters? And the changeling that was spotted in the guard barracks soon after And right after that, I began hearing reports from Twilight Sparkle of a changeling in Ponyville. How did a changeling escape from out castle and get to Ponyville so fast? That is no small distance, even for a unicorn trained in teleportation."
Shining nods his head,
"And then the Offender drops in on the four of us soon after, calling himself 'Bugze.'"
"Then... then you know he's not always a monster! What about the Elements of Harmony? Maybe they can make him a normal changeling again."
Luna closes her eyes in thought for a moment before responding,
"I believe it is worth a try."
Luna opens her eyes as she stares intently at Celestia as she continues,
"After all, if the Elements can save me from my darkness, maybe they can save him from his demons and allow him to raise is daughter in peace."
Cadence nods her head as she says,
"She's right Auntie. All we have to do is convince Bugze to let us use the Elements on him and cure him. Then we ca-"
"There may be some truth to this plan, but we cannot risk the Elements yet. If they get damaged or broken in the battle somehow, the enchantment that holds Discord could be dispelled. If we are to use them, the Offender must already be defeated and immobilized."
She stands up and clears her throat,
"I believe this meeting is at an end. Above all else, our goal is to preserve life. I have already sent a letter to Twilight and her friends asking them to stay out of the hunt, and if trouble arises, to evacuate as many ponies as they can. Captain, those orders apply to you as well. Take every precaution necessary to get my little ponies out of danger before you attack any target."
Shining bows as he answers,
"Yes, Your Highness."
The three others leave, and Cadance is left alone,
Nothing's changed! They're still going to hurt Bugze! What do I do?
She takes a few calming breathes before she thinks,
I just have to keep trying! If they won't listen as a group, then maybe I can divide and conquer...
With her plan in mind, Cadence goes off to talk to her fellow princesses and her husband when she realizes,
"Wait, who should I talk to first?"
Cadence sits down as she puts a hoof to her chin as she thinks out loud,
"Maybe I should try to convince Shining and Auntie Celestia first..."
As soon as she finished that sentence, she suddenly gets a flashback to yesterday...
"HE DID WHAT!?" Celestia roared in shock/anger in the Royal Canterlot Voice which could be heard throughout Canterlot.
"Like I said, he beat Flag Burner into submission," Shining replies after uncovering his ears "There was no way that the terrorist could fight back and we could have taken it from there, but it looked like he whispered something to the Offender and he went berserk and started beating him more, before he grew a fifth tail and killed him. He then summoned a huge group of birds and disappeared in a flash. I assume he teleported away using the crows as cover. We also had eye-witness reports of changelings in the area appearing to help him by distracting both guards and Horde members alike."
"He has gone too far this time! Double his bounty, Dead or Alive, we will see him brought to justice!" Celestia angrily declares,
Cadence and Luna look at each other uneasily about the situation and Shining just sautes and runs off to carry out the order. When he finally leaves, the three princesses are alone in Celestia's study. Cadance speaks first,
"Aunt Celie, isn't that a bit harsh? I don't think he would do something like that with out a very good reason."
"Tis true sister, he would not hath been a treat to us if We had not threatened his dau-" Luna agrees.
"I DON'T CARE!" Celestia roars in the RCV as she stressfully digs through a shelf looking for something, "He murdered one of my subjects in cold blood! He could have stopped and allowed the guard to take him in but he did not! He will pay Equestrian justice. I think an eternity in stone sound fair- BUCK!"
Celestia smashes the shelf against a wall in a rage with her magic before she begins to walk away. If anypony was listening, they would have heard the Solar Monarch mutter/rant...
"First I find out Blueblood has been embezzling from the 'Widows and Orphans' fund to pay for unnecessary luxuries in his treatments, then a Hydra from Equestria has been found terrorizing the Griffin Kingdom and I'm getting blamed for it, then I find out that the Hooded Offender destroyed Fillydelphia and publicly murdered a pony with help from bucking changelings, and THEN the kitchen tells me they're completely out of cake, and THEN somepony steals my emergency Quadruple Fudge Ripple Rocky Road ice cream cake!!! Oh, isn't great to be the princess of a country..."
END FLASHBACK
Cadance blinks as a sweat drop forms on the back of her head as she says with a deadpanned tone,
"Definitely should not talk to Aunt Celie. I guess I'll try to convince Auntie Luna first, then my stubborn husband..."
With that said, Cadence get's up and walks over towards Luna's room...
Cadence knocked on the door to Luna's chambers. Receiving no reply, she cautiously nudged the door open only to see Luna in full armor, a sight last seen only when she had returned as Nightmare Moon. The sight is so stunning that Cadence paused for a few seconds before...
"Heading out with the stallions on the manhunt, are you?"
Luna turned to see Cadence standing behind her,
"Oh, Princess Cadenza. We had not heard your approach, but be certain that we meant no disrespect in-"
"Um... Auntie Luna" Cadence intercedes, "I have a personal question to ask you about..."
"Oh, indeed? Well," Luna removed her helmet and shook out her mane, before sitting down on the floor, "We are all ears."
Cadence took a deep breath,
"Well... an... old friend of mine, one I hadn't seen in... forever really, just wrote me a letter, and... he's bucked up. Like, big time. I... don't know exactly what he wrote, but I can tell you for sure that he doesn't deny that he's done a bad thing. I think he just wants to... explain himself."
Luna looked at her for a few seconds, before she says,
"Well then, read the letter."
"Really?" Cadence asked, still unsure.
Luna scooted closer to her adopted niece,
"Cadence, if my... personal experiences have taught me anything, it's that, no matter how bad a thing a pony has done, you should always give them a chance to explain themselves. Otherwise, their friendship will be lost and they will be sure to feel just as betrayed as you."
"But... this was a really bad-"
"Nonsense!" Luna cried, snatching the envelope from Cadence, "Come, niece, we shall read this message together!"
"Oh, I don't think that that's a good-"
But too late. Luna tore the letter from it's paper shell, and read it aloud.
I... bucked up. Big time. Admittedly, I should've come more prepared, but I greatly underestimated Flag Burner and the lengths he was willing to go for his 'revolution'. Fillydelphia was a disaster. What should have been me talking Flag Burner out of starting a revolution devolved into a reenactment of one of the Die Hoof sequels. I told Flag Burner that the real meaning of the cloak is to be a Nopony.
I was even starting to feel for Flag Burner when he told me that the death of his daughter sent him on that path; until he blew up several buildings, told me that several of his minions were after MY DAUGHTER, and said that he will kill as many as it takes. Never before had I been that angry, never before has my Nightmare Cloak reached FIVE tails. I just... lost control. All of my hate came pouring out and I acted without thinking. I... killed a stallion. Whether he is truly dead is unclear because his body is unaccounted for. I don't know what to do now. I guess I'll just lie low and do what I can to get by.
But I'm not giving up. The Crimson Knights are out there, and soon so will the royal guard. I've sworn not to kill again, but if you can't bring yourself to forgive me (and I won't blame you if you don't...) I'm willing to do ANYTHING to keep my daughter safe. The main reason for my living is to protect Nightshade, especially from the Crimson Knights.
Hopefully Still your Friend,
Bugze
P.S. The Crimson Knights have a red version of my insignia and are a group of radicals who follow Flag Burner's ideology.
Cadence looks at the letter in shock as she thinks,
I was right! He did threaten Bugze's daughter! He didn't kill in cold blood, he killed in a rage born from love. ...I feel such a odd mixture of sisterly/princess of love pride and absolute horror right now.
Before Cadence could continue her thought, she sees Luna looking at her. She looks at her in panic as she sweats nervously and says,
Luna looked up from the letter at Cadence, who was sweating fervently. "Luna, wait, I can explain-" "I'm going out with the manhunt," Luna said, smiling slyly. "But I didn't say I'd stay with them. Once they narrow down the Offender's location, I was planning to go ahead on a scouting mission... and warn him."
"Auntie Luna, wait! I can expla-"
"I'm going out with the stallionhunt," Luna said, smiling slyly. "But I didn't say I'd stay with them. Once they narrow down the Offender's location, I was planning to go ahead on a scouting mission... and warn him."
Cadence's eyes widen in realization as she says,
"Wait, so when you wanted to have the Smite-on-Sight order placed, you were-"
Luna nods her head as she finishes Cadence's sentence,
"Trying to make an excuse to hunt him down myself to save him, yes. I will not let somepony like me rot in a cell if I can redeem them."
Cadence nods her head at this, but then get's a confused look as she asks,
"Wait...somepony like you? What do you mean? and why do you want to help Bugze so badly?"
Luna sighs as she says,
"We and him are the same in a way. We both have a darkness in us we couldn't control. While I was freed from mine..."
Luna glares at the floor as she continues,
"He is still under it's control. I know what it feels like to be controlled and used by darkness. And I'll be cursed before I let somepony else fall beyond redemption to it."
Luna sighs sadly as she begins to contemplate outloud, “I might be to late sadly, seeing as how he’s finally taken a life. I can’t say that I didn't see this coming, all that power and all that rage, it was bound to happen eventually.”
“I don’t think he meant it Luna,” Cadance counters, “he probably feels awful about it.”
“I’m sure he does, but still I believe that terrorist signed his own death warrant the minute he threatened the changeling’s daughter and tried to kill all those innocents” Luna says before putting her head down.
“He’s not bad, you have to understand that, he made a mistake.” Cadance lightly pleads.
“I know that my niece, that is why I must help him. This is all my fault after all, that changeling causes so much mayhem and destruction because of his hatred for me... for what we... I tried to do to his child.”
“Luna you didn’t-”
“I set him down this path, I tried to harm that filly, and everything he’s done since then is because of that mistake” she looks at Cadance in determination. “It is my responsibility to ensure that he is saved.”
“Wh-why would you of all ponies try to save him?” Cadence asks for the second time, this time out of shock more then anything else
“Because I too know what it is like to let hatred and vengeance control your life... the nightmares it brings. I must save him from the darkness before he falls further. And to apologize to him and that filly for one of my greatest mistakes...”
“Thank you Aunt Luna, thank you...” Cadance says with relief.
“I will do what I can... but my sister and your husband are determined to bring him down by any means. Maybe you should become more involved with your savior’s life if you wish to help.”
Cadence nods with a determined look as she says,
"I know, as soon as I convince Shining, I will find some way to speak to Bugze."
Luna sighs as she says,
"Dearest Niece, you must also convince my sister."
Cadence gulps slightly as she says,
"I don't really think that'll work, do you remember what she said yesterday?"
Luna nods her head glumly as she says,
"Yes, but I assure you Celestia is more calm then she was yesterday. She will be more likely to listen to reason now."
"Are... you sure?" Cadance asks uncertainly,
Luna smirks as she responds,
"A few quick letters to the various pastry chefs in Canterlot saw to that."
Cadence sighs slightly with a smile before she says,
"I know it's not gonna work, but I guess I"ll give it a try."
Luna nods her head and whispers to herself as Cadence retrieves the letter and envelope and leaves,
"Auntie Celie, please reconsider! He didn't mean to kill that pony, it was a mistake!"
Celestia sighs at Cadences pleas as she says,
"Even if murdering a beaten and caught prisoner was a mistake on his behalf, the fact that his very presence caused so much chaos along with billions of bits in damages is still reason enough to take him in. Plus, there is also the fact that the offender is no longer alone."
“What do you mean auntie?”
“Reports and photographs from the night of the riot confirm what Shining Armor said about there being other changelings present” she says as she shows Cadance a photograph of Bugze standing in front of three other changelings, “They aided in his cause... perhaps he has rejoined his queen’s ranks.”
“NO!” Cadance shouts, “He wouldn’t do that! He’s different!”
“Cadance...” Celestia says sympathetically, “there is no way to know that. I know you feel indebted to him for the small mercy he gave you, but someone cannot be judged by what they've done in the past, rather what they've done since then.”
“But...”
“Even if he did help you, he has caused so much damage and harm to others since then; attempting to conquer Appleloosa, wrecking the Grand Galloping Gala, freeing Discord, and now this. He still has to face justice for the crimes he has committed Cadance. It is only because of that infernal time lord that the death toll isn't in the thousands...”
“Who?” Cadance asks.
“Nopony,” Celestia replies suspiciously quickly, “but still the Hooded Offender must be caught.”
Cadance just puts her head down and shakes it in frustration.
It’s like she’ll never understand...
With that, Cadance walks away in a huff (barely managing to avoid bumping into a tray full of cakes that was on it's way to Celestia's room) even after Celestia calls after her. When Cadance is out of sight, Celestia says to herself,
“What is your game Doctor?”
LATER IN SHINING AND CADANCE'S CHAMBERS
“I can’t just let this go Cadance! I have to bring him in!” Shining shouts.
“Shining please, he’s hurting right now, and I know that he’ll...”
“I don’t care if he’s hurting!” he shouts, “I’m hurting, several Guards are hurting, hay, most of Fillydelphia is hurting because of him!”
“If he hadn't been there, the situation would have been a lot worse!” Cadance counters.
“Yeah sure, many ponies wouldn't be in the hospital, Fillydelphia would be intact, and the leader of a bunch of fanatics would be on trial instead of in the grave, oh wait, he’s the one that caused all that!” he responds with bitter sarcasm.
“He feels awful for what he’s done, don’t you understand?!” Cadance pleads.
“Good! I saw him shaking after what he’d done! He brought this on himself!”
“Shining please…” Cadence starts.
“No Cadance, No! Not this time!” Shining bitterly responds.
“But...”
“I warned him, hay, I even pleaded with him not to go too far, but he did it anyway!” Shining kicks a chair as he continues, “We won! Flag Burner was beaten, and rightfully so. Hay, I would've probably knocked out a few of his teeth myself for what he’d done...” Shining shouts before stiffening up and sitting down.
“We won... but then he kept taunting your friend, and the explosions happened. I wanted to hurt that piece of filth for what he’d done, but I held back. Your friend didn't. He went through me like I was nothing to kill that monster... and I can’t get that image out of my head...”
“Are... are you sure he’s actually dead? The reports say that no body was found.” Cadance says,
“I’m pretty sure Cadance, I saw what your friend did to him. I heard the crunch, I saw the left side of his face cave in under his hoof... I saw his eye pop out of his socket as he smashed through that steel wall...” Shining says in a world-weary and almost horrified tone.
Cadence gasps at that little bit of news,
“The building collapsed after Flag's body smashed into it, and burnt up everything inside... nothing but ash was left by the time the fire fighters put it out, not that I wanted to see the corpse anyway” he says with a shudder, “Besides, we found his eye...”
“Shining...” Cadance whispers as she realizes her husband is actually a bit traumatized by the experience.
“I won’t stop Cadance... I can’t. For everything that I believe in, for every principle I took an oath to uphold, I can’t let this pass. No one, pony or bug, is above the law. I will do whatever it takes to bring the Hooded Offender down.”
Cadance walks over and hold her husband in her arms cradling his head.
“I’m sorry Shiny...” she whispers.
“You don’t have to be... It’s nothing you've done. If anything, I should be sorry for yelling at you,” Shining responds as he looks into Cadance's eyes. "You're the love of my life, I should never yell at you no matter how hurt or angry I am..."
“But I didn't see how much you were hurting from this, I’m sorry my love.”
Cadance feels him sigh and relax somewhat,
“I’m sorry too... I’ll always be grateful for what he did to protect you... but I still have to bring him in.”
“I know you do…” you acknowledge “just promise me one thing.”
“What?” he asks.
“Please... please don’t kill him.”
He pulls away from Cadance and gives her a sad look.
“I can’t promise that... With his growing power and lack of control, he will likely become so dangerous that lethal force may be the only way to save and protect innocent ponies." He then walks close to Cadance before continuing, "But I will try... for you.”
With that, Shining and Cadance share a deep kiss. When the kiss is over, Shining then picks up his reports and heads for his meeting with his Royal Guard officers.
“Shining,” Cadance calls out to him causing him to pause at the door. “If it helps, I know that he will be disbanding the horde. He doesn't want any more ponies worshiping him.”
He sighs at that,
“At least that’s one less thing to worry about, the Crimson Knights though are another story.” He then looks back to her. “I’ll be home later, I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Cadence then sighs again in sadness as she thinks
After all my talks, I just know that Bugze does need to come in eventually or otherwise leave the country, but I know that he'll never cooperate, not if it risks Nightshade’s safety. Hopefully Luna will be able to help. Then there's that Stallion in the blue box that seems to follow him around and Auntie Celie gets defensive whenever I ask her about him. What’s his story?
Cadence shakes her head from these thoughts.
The whole thing is complicated. The only thing I can do is be a better friend to Bugze; Keep in contact with him more often, maybe help him. I am a princess for my sakes. Maybe I could transfer him some funds to help with Nightshade. Whatever happens in the future, I'll just take it in stride. Now I think I have a book for this situation...
With that in mind Cadance puts the letter on her desk and leaves the room to write a letter for her unlucky friend.
A couple of minutes later, Shining Armor enter to Cadence room "Cadence? Are you here? We need to talk..." Say Shining Armor looking around to see that there is no one. "I suposse she is somewhere else... Maybe the garden..." Commented Shining as he was going to leave but then a card called his attention "No... I can't... That card is for Cadence, I can't read it" Muttered Shining Armor but in the end he decided to look a little to the card, only to see the only word
A couple of minutes later, Shining Armor re-enters the room,
"Cadence, I forgot something. Have you seen my..." Shining says only to trail off as he looks around to see that there is nopony there.
"I suppose she's somewhere else... Maybe the garden..." Shining comments as he prepares to leave but then an envelope calls his attention,
"A letter for Cadance, No... I can't... That card is for Cadence, I can't read it" Muttered Shining Armor but in the end he decided to look a little to the card, only to see the only word...
"We're not safe until he's caught; he'll come stalking us at night! Spreading anarchy and ruin and whipping up a fright! He'll wreck havoc in our nation if we let him wander free, So it's time to take some action, boys! It's time to follow me!"
He marches through the hallways, rallying the guards behind him.
"Past the city, down the vale, to the edge of the badlands, He's a nightmare, but he's one exciting fight! Say a prayer and we're there, ready to bring him to justice. He'll struggle, but taking him is worth the price!"
A guard tosses him a sword, and he catches it, brandishing it in his magic.
"He's a beast! He's got fangs, razor sharp ones! Five tails, maybe more, to spread his wrath! Hear his laugh; hear his shriek! But we're not coming back 'til he's caught! Good and caught!"
"No!" Cadance calls. "You don't understand!"
"Look what he's done with his freedom, Cadance!" Shining turns to all the guards, "If we can't trust him while he's free, he belongs in chains. Who's with me?!"
The guards cheer and take up the song.
"Grab your sword! Grab your spear! Only courage can fight deadly fear! We're counting on the Captain to lead the way!"
More guards in the castle join in.
"Past the city, down the vale, the innocence of Equestria Is hiding what we've hated all its days!"
"It's a beast One as fierce as a dragon. We won't rest 'Til he's tied in a wagon. Sally forth Tally ho Grab your sword Grab your bow Praise Celestia and here we go!"
"We'll smoke him out and drag him through the streets!", Shining declares as he marches them out of the castle and into the streets of Canterlot.
"We don't like What we don't understand In fact it scares us And this monster is mysterious at least"
Cadance rolls her eyes in annoyance at the stallions' ignorance as she continues trying to reason with Shining,
"Bring your spells Bring your knives Save your children and your wives We'll save our village and our lives We'll catch the Offender!"
Meanwhile in Celestia's quarters, Celestia would comment on why there's an angry mob outside and come out to reestablish order... but her head is too deep inside a Cherpumple to hear.
"Hearts ablaze Banners high We go marching into battle Unafraid although the danger just increased Raise the flag! Sing the song! Here we come; we're one hundred strong And one hundred stallions can't be wrong!"
Shining Armor raises his voice one last time, "Let's catch the beast!"
At this point Flash Sentry (broken wing in a cast due to Fillydelphia) comes in,
"Requesting permission to speak freely sir?"
"Granted." Shining responds.
"What if he's living under an alias?" Flash points out.
"And where we're you leading your stallions?" Cadance adds, "You don't know where he is."
Shining Armor freezes. Slowly, almost imperceptibly, he lowers his head to stare at the ground and mutters.
"Celestia darn it..."
"Why don't you let me do some scouting, sir?" Flash suggests, "I'll leave my armor behind and scope out some of the smaller towns not in the sweeping pattern. The minute I find something, I'll write to you."
"You do that, Lieutenant."
Flash salutes and trots off as Shining starts to look at the Royal Guards mobilized behind him in the streets of Canterlot.
"But what am I going to do with all these guards?"
He spots a unicorn stallion smoking a cigar under a "No Smoking" sign and suspiciously looking both ways before he sneakily levitates an apple off a cart and walk away, but takes one bite of the apple before spitting it out and throwing it at a hobo earth pony's head.
"A MULTIPLE OFFENDER! GET HIM, BOYS!"
The stallion runs away, screaming like a filly as a platoon of guards chases him through the streets of Canterlot.
Okay... In the meantime, I have a letter to write. Cadance thinks before she flies off back to the castle.
It's about quarter after midnight when your sleep is interrupted by a blow to the head.
"Owww," you moan, searching groggily for the carriage that hit you. Or the rainbow pegasus. Or both with your luck. You find neither, but see an odd metal cylinder lying on the floor beside you. It looks like it has a screw off cap so you open it to find... a letter from Cadence!
Dear Bugze,
It... wasn't easy, but I forgive you. I understand that you're going to do anything for your daughter, and... well, you're still my friend, no matter what.
"Yes!" you squeal (but quietly. Nightshade is still asleep).
However, the other royals aren't as understanding, and they insist on hunting you down.
"Oh," you groan (again, pretty quietly).
I will do all I can, but against the absolute word of Celestia, that's not much.
"Well that sucks," you mutters to himself, "Cadence needs to be given her own Kingdom already, or at least some more political sway."
Even though they don't know where you are, I hope that you can hide undetected from the stallionhunt, but if they find you... please, come peacefully. I'll make sure no one harms your daughter, and if you resist you'll be killed. A lot of the guards are bitter over you beating them up in Fillydelphia, and even if Shining Armor doesn't give the order, one of them may kill you. Also I have a informant inside the that'll help you escape town if you get caught.
Your Friend Always,
Cadence You sigh as you says to yourself,
"I'm sorry Cadence, but that's not going to happen. Nightshade is my daughter, and I'm not going to abandon her. Ever. No matter how many Royal Guards I need to clob- Wait a minute!" He realized, "Why did she send this in such an impractical container? And I wonder who the informant is?"
You notice more text and continues to read.
P.S. The container I sent this to you in is enchanted. If you cast a teleport spell on it; it and it's contents will automatically be sent back to me and vice-versa . Hope to hear from you. :)
"Oh," you comment. "That's convenient."
You smile as you begin to write your own letter as you think,
Now maybe I can rest a little easier...
SOME TIME LATER
*Yawn* You stretch your hooves as you get off of your cot. It's been quite some time since the incident in Fillydelphia. While you still have occasional nightmares and you can't play a violent game without puking occasionally, you're more or less better now. Nightshade has been doing better at school, she's getting D pluses now! You shed a tear of fatherly pride when you saw it on her math test, but her teacher on the other hoof was glaring daggers at you, so there's still that.
Applejack, Rainbow, and even Fluttershy are a little... clingy lately. You've barely been able to leave the shack without one of them either following you or asking you if your alright a billion times. It's... really creepy to be honest, but at the same time a part of you doesn't mind these mares being so close to you (not to mention your eye scar has been getting you more attention from mares like Aloe, Vinyl, and Octavia)...
The Ponyville Horde meeting is coming up soon after finally being organized by Fluttershy (it took so long to organize due to recent events, Horde members coming and leaving, the crackdown making it harder to communicate and meet, etc.), but sadly for you, she forgot to tell the Horde about the 'disbandment' issue of the meeting. Hopefully it will go by without any problems...
You and Cadence have been exchanging letters for awhile now. She's been giving you updates on the stallionhunt for you and just talking with you about life. Apparently, the search teams are now checking out Dodge Junction, so you're safe for now.
A new comic store was built a couple of days ago. You were surprised the Mayor allowed it here, considering how some manga and even comics contained... explicit contact, but you guess she let it slide... for some political reason. You planned on checking it out today actually.
Actually, what day is it?
You lost your sense of time awhile ago, so you ended up borrowing the Apple's spare calendar they had. Getting up and walking over to it, you smile turns into a deep frown as you find out what today is...
Hearts and Hooves Day
Hearts and Hooves, yay... I bucking hate this holiday...
You glare in anger at the calendar as you try to resist the urge to shred it into tiny pieces and burn said pieces into ash before stomping on the ashes. Taking a deep breath, you leave the shack and head towards the apple fields. You pass by Granny Smith who waves a hello to you from her rocking chair, but you just ignore her with an angry grunt as you continue to walk into the orchard with your thoughts occupied,
I swear to Luna, if anyling even TRIES to attack me today *snap* they'll feel the wrath of a-*thud*
Your thoughts are interrupted when you run right into an apple tree, but in your upset state...
Bugzee begin to walk around the orchard angry bucking the trees as he try to calm himself when Nightshade catch him groaning.
You let out a growl of fury and start venting your rage at the tree.
"BUCK *smash* THIS *smash* BUCKING *smash* HOLIDAY! *smash* WHY *smash* MUST *smash* THIS *smash* BUCKING *smash* HOLIDAY *smash* EXIST! *smash* WHY *smash* CAN'T *smash* IT *smash* JUST *smash* BUCKING *smash* ROT *smash* IN *smash* TARTARUS!!!! FALCON PUNCH!" *crack fly-off*
You take heavy breaths as you watch your stress relief fly off into the horizon. You sweat drop slightly as you think,
Whoops... Applejack won't be happy that I just sent one of her trees into the next county... but this bucking holiday just makes me so mad!
You start to growl as wisps of the Nightmare Cloak float off your body. You're about to move onto your next punching ba-er tree, but you hear a tiny voice behind you say...
You turn to see your daughter, Nightshade (wearing her wing-hiding purple vest) with a concerned look on her face as you respond,
"It's nothing sweetie, just the fact that I BUCKING HATE HEART AND HOOVES DAY!!!"
Nightshade uncovers her ears and asks,
"But why? Isn't that Auntie Cadance's holiday of free candy? At least that what Miss Cheerilee told us the other day in class like how Solar Flanks has the Summer Sun Celebration, and Princess Luna has Nightmare Night."
You pause in thought before shaking your head and growling,
"Even if it's the holiday of Auntie Cadence, I still bucking hate it..." as you kick another tree.
"Why?" Nightshade asks.
You're about to tell her to just go play, but seeing how concerned she is for her daddy you sigh and say,
"Okay Nightshade, I'll tell you... It was many years ago, before the Canterlot Invasion and before Chrysalis was even queen..."
FLASHBACK
We see a younger version of you walking through one of the main corridors of the hive. You had a huge smile on your face as you were carrying some love-infused flowers in your mouth. As you neared your destination (for some reason, your exact memories are blurry with missing spots so you're recalling what you can), you couldn't help but think,
I can't believe that SHE asked me out! I mean my clumsiness, bad grades, and all those stupid rumors about me being a half-breed should've caused her to hate me, but nope! She actually asked me out! This is gonna be the best day ev-
Your young thoughts are crushed however when you see the female of your dreams (only a rough outline with no clear features) kicking some of your fellow drones out of her room while shouting,
"That's enough! Why would you stupid peasants even dare to think that I would choose a mate from ANY of you?! The very thought is outright repugnant! The only use for your kind is to obey MY every order! Now get out before I decide to have my guards squash every single one of you!!!"
You could only stare in sadness at what you just saw, the bouquet falling out of your mouth as you say,
"I... I shouldn't be surprised. After all why would someling like her date a stupid drone like me. I should get outta here before I make things worse for her..."
And with that you turn around with tears falling out of your eyes. as you run back to where you came from, not hearing the gasp of shock coming from behind you...
BACK TO NOW
"And it's because of that I hate this bucking holiday..."
"Zzzzzzz"
Only when you're done flash backing do you notice that Nightshade fell asleep.
"Great..." you mutter before smiling sadly at her sleeping form as you continue,
"Well... At least you won't have to hear the full story..."
You pick up the sleeping filly and carry her back to your Shack as you glare off into the distance and say,
"Cause some memories are best left forgotten..."
AT THE SHACK
"What... the buck is this?"
Your eye twitches in annoyance as you stare at the pile of letters outside the shack's door. You gently lay Nightshade down on the grass as you go over and investigate the letters. Picking one...
You pull the Power Glove out of the Inventory and put it on as you throw all of Nightshade's mail into a pile, point your glove at it, and yell,
"Would you kindly BURN! BURN! BURN! BURN!!!"
Soon the cards are nothing but ash and you're smiling maniacally when you hear,
"Daddy?"
You look over to see that Nightshade is awake and looking at you in confusion as she asks,
"Why is there a pile of ash right next to our shack's door and why are you smiling like a lunatic?"
You look around in panic as you don't want your daughter knowing you just burned all of her Hearts and Hooves day cards so you quickly say,
"Uh... aren't you supposed to be in school?"
Nightshade stares at you for a second before she bolts off and you swear you can hear the distant shouting of,
"I'M BUCKING LATE FOR SCHOOL AGAIN!!!"
You sigh at your daughter's outburst, but you can't help but chuckle as you think,
Oh well, like they say; 'like father like daughter'.
Sighing, you head back into the shack and lay down in your cot and say in a groan,
"The sooner this day is over the better. I'm not setting a single hoof outsid-." *ding*
Suddenly you get a brilliant idea as you grab a marker and some paper and...
Bugze decides to hide away the day and puts up a sign saying Hearts and Hooves day is Banned in this Shack. NO EXCEPTIONS!
Soon you have a sign duct-taped to your shack's door that reads,
Hearts and Hooves Day is Banned in this Shack. NO EXCEPTIONS!!!
You nod your head at your hoofywork and head back into your shack. As you lay back down, you can't help but remember the other reasons you hate Hearts and Hooves day...
You decide that you don't want to go into town today, and just stay in your room and reminisce about why you hate Heart and Hooves Day so much, only increasing your hate for it while doing so.
For changelings, Hearts and Hooves is nicknamed "Free Buffet Day" due to all the free consumable love floating around.
You aslo remember what Grandbuggy told you about how he loves this holiday cause there's so much more he can eat from mares than just their love. You obliviously respond their chocolates and flowers and Grandbuggy decides to give you a very... detailed talk... ONE "THE BIRDS AND THE BEEGEES" TALK LATER Past you: "Nope nope nope nope..." Current you: "...Nope nop nope nope..."
ANOTHER FLASHBACK!
”$&#*, I love this holiday!!!” your grandbuggy says as a hatchling you responds,
"What's so special about it? It's just free love."
That's what you always thought after all for changelings, Hearts and Hooves is nicknamed "Free Buffet Day" due to all the free consumable love floating around.
"&^%, there's so much more to mares you can eat than just their love if you know what I mean..." your Grandbuggy responds with a sly wink.
"Yeah, there's the flowers and candy ponies give out too." you respond obviously.
Grandbuggy gives you a resigned look before saying,
"Looks like it's time I had a very detailed talk with you..."
“…and that’s why it’s the best position to use duct tape.” Grandbuggy finishes before a traumatized young you says in a trance,
"Nope nope nope nope nope..."
END FLASHBACK NUMBER 2!
"Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope no-*smack*"
You smack yourself to snap yourself out of your 'nope' trance. After rebooting from that slap, your mind starts to reminiscence about the main reason you hate this holiday so bucking much. As the memory plays out, your hate for it fuels your anger and it only increases as you glare off at the wall, but before you can falcon punch a hole into the wall, you hear a loud crash from above you. You look up in confusion and see...
After the rainbow fillyfooler crashes through your window, Applejack drags her out, they both get blasted by a bass cannon, and then Vinyl gets smacked in the head by a pair of fans throws by Aloe, you run full speed for Ponyville. "THIS IS WHY I NEED TRAPS!"
The Rainbow Fillyfooler flying above a hole in your ceiling! You look at her in shocked anger as you yell,
"Rainbow! What in the name of Luna are you doing!?"
Rainbow flies down at you with a blush on her cheeks as she says,
"Well you see. I was flying over the field to practicing my awesome Wonderbolt skills, when I saw your shack. So I thought 'you know what, I haven't visited my good old pal B.S. in a while' so here I am..."
She then gave you a smile and you swore you heard this sound when she did. Ignoring the strange (yet adorable) sound you look at Rainbow with a deadpan look as you say,
"Rainbow, you've visited me over 9000 times already just this week."
Ranbow's smile drops slightly before she says,
"Oh right... well... Twilight made some egghead potion that'll allow you to lay on clouds so I was wondering... maybe... for this day... you can come to the clouds with me and-"
Before Rainbow could finish her sentence (which would definitely caused some nosebleeding), you hear a smashing sound from behind you. You turn around in shock (not seeing Rainbow's glare) as you see...
Applejack... with your door smashed to pieces in front of her. Before you can say anything she shoves you to the side with one arm as she glares at Rainbow. After a few seconds of glaring she says angrily,
"Sorry sugercube, but you already stole his first kiss from me. I'm not about to let you have him to yourself today. He's mine."
Rainbows glares right back as she says,
"Sorry AJ, but this stallion is all mine. I kissed him and he likes me more than you."
Applejack's glare hardens as she says,
"No can do Rainbow, I saw him first so he's all mine."
“No, he’s mine!”
“MINE!!!”
Soon the two mares enter a shouting match between each other which leads to them both yelling,
"FINE! LET'S LET HIM DECIDE!"
They both turn towards you... only to see smoke in your shape where you once stood. Rainbow and Applejack blink in confusion as they ask,
"Mr. Tennant?"
Suddenly they hear a far off cry of,
"THIS IS WHY I NEED TRAPS!"
As you run away from the mares, you can hear them shouting,
"GET BACK HERE!"
You visibly pale as you increase your speed as you yell,
"I DON'T WANT TO DIE! I DON'T WANT TO DIE! CURSE YOU DEJA VU! AND CURSE THIS BUCKING HOLIDAY!!!"
IN TOWN
After you finally made it into town (and confident you lost the mares), you begin to calm down and walk around the area. You see couples everywhere and it sends a sick feeling to your stomach when you suddenly get a full blast of...
With all the love in the air, you feel as if your senses are fogged. You don’t need to eat love anymore, but you can still sense it, and there is a lot today. You feel very annoyed because this day, above all else, has one of the worst memories (that you can recall at the moment) you’ve ever had. It’s kind of putting you in a grouchy move where you just huff and puff and snap at ponies wishing you a good day.
Love energy. Even though you can't consume love anymore, you can still sense that there's so much love in the air that you begin to feel suffocated. Even if you were able to consume love, this holiday just has so many bad memories that you end up in a grouchy mood as you wander through town and snap at anypony wishing you a happy holiday,
"Happy Hearts and Hoo-"
"Shut up."
"I love you more than oxygen."
"And I love you so mu-"
"Get a room!!!"
"Happy Hearts and Hoo-"
"BUCK OFF AND DIE!!!"
You continue scrooging around town until you hear...
Even though you can't consume love anymore, you decide to still eat all the "free food" (the "free food" in this case being flowers and chocolates thrown away by heart-broken ponies. Kinda cold, but hay; free is free.)
Oh... in my hate for this holiday I forgot to eat... you obliviously think, But where the buck am I gonna eat in peace without running into any stupid couple-
Suddenly you see an upset-looking unicorn mare holding a box of chocolates and a bouquet of flowers. She looks back at a couple with tears in her eyes before throwing the flowers and candy into a trash can before running off in tears towards an ice cream shop filled with heartbroken ponies shoveling buckets of ice cream into their mouths. You then notice that the trash can has a picture of a broken heart and is filled with rejected flower bouquets and unopened boxes of candy.
"Welcome to my world..." you mutter as you take a bouquet of flowers out of the can and take a bite,
You angrily smash the flowers against a wall before you grab armfuls of the rejected boxes of candy and sit down before you start tearing them open one after another and angrily shove hoof-fulls of chocolate into your mouth. As you anger-munch on the heartbreak candy, your thoughts drift to back to Fillydelphia, or more specifically...
Bugze wonders why he hasn't heard from those Changelings from FIllydelphia again, but loses that train of thought as he sees a familiar orange Pegasus (wearing a jacket and shirt instead of armor) walk (or arrive on the train) into Ponyville.
Who were those changelings? The female one looked familiar, but there was too much chaos going on for me to get a clear look. She even knew my drone number, so she must've been someling from my unit. And if that's the case, she must be up to something. You'd think changelings would lay low after that wedding disaster, but getting caught in public helping the most wanted criminal doesn't seem like the brightest thing to do. And how the buck did she know the Hooded Offender was a changeling? Does my ex-Queen know about me? I mean why would sh-Oh buck no! Why in Luna's name is HE here?!
Must be on vacation. That or he's here to ask Sparkle-butt ou-
Your thoughts are suddenly interrupted as hundreds of whiny bloodthirsty voices shout out in your head,
KILL THE WAIFU-STEALER! HE WAS A TOTAL JERK TO TWILIGHT IN RAINBOW ROCKS EVEN IF HE WAS UNDER SOME EVIL PEOPLES SPELL! HE MADE HER CRY! TWILIGHT'S SUPPOSED TO BE DATING MY OC! KILL! KILL! KILL! KILL! Ki-*smack*
You smack yourself to end the annoyance that is those voices as you think,
What the buck? I thought these voices stopped after the gala. What's a Waifu anyway? Whatever, I'll ignore them for no-
You reach for another box when you grab nothing but ground and look to see you've devoured all the rejected boxes of candy.
"Buck..." you mutter as you get up and trot off. In your bad mood, you don't watch where you're going *crash* and you run into someling. You rub your head in pain as you look up and see...
This exchange, You ask Big Red, "Big Red, punch me in the face as hard as you can." "Ey-What?" "You're right, not enough... Just violently smash my head against that hard-looking rock as violently as you can." "Why...?" Big Macintosh asks in concerned confusion, "Cause with any luck I'll get knocked out and wake up when this Luna-forsaken holiday is over."
Big Red. You smile at the huge stallion as he offers his hoof to get you back up. You accept it as you take his hoof and get back up. As you thank the stallion and are about continue scrooging around town, you get a brilliant idea that can end this holiday (for you at least) faster. You give Big Red a smile (even though he can't see your face behind your scarf and face mask) as you ask,
"Hey Big Red, can you do me a favor?"
“Eyup.” Big Red says as he nods his head in affirmative. You smile as you ask,
"Good. I want you punch me in the face as hard as you can."
"Eyu-What?" Big Macintosh stops in shocked confusion.
You shake your head as you put on your thinking pose as you say,
"You're right, not enough... In that case just violently smash my head repeatedly against that hard-looking wall as violently as you can."
"Why...?" Big Macintosh asks in concerned confusion,
"Cause with any luck I'll get knocked out and wake up when this Luna-forsaken holiday is over."
Big Red gives you a confused and asks,
"Why d'ya want the holiday to end?"
You sigh as you look around before whispering,
"Hey Red, think ya can keep a secret?"
Big Red looks around too before leaning in with a nod. You sigh as you say,
"Well you see the thing is Hearts and Hooves day isn't a very fond time for me.”
He raises an eyebrow at that.
“I had a very traumatic and embarrassing event happen to me...”
“Mare?” he asks.
“Ya... you could say that... there was this mare, right, she was like, way out of my league. I mean way way WAY out of my league. Like she’s a Model and I’m a snail- you get the picture?”
“Eyup” he answers.
“Well she invited ME to the Hearts and Hooves Day Dance. Me! I knew I should've questioned why...”
You don't notice your voice getting louder as a small crowd forms around you as you continue,
“Anyway, she took me to the dance, and I was high on life, I had the prettiest bug-er, mare at my side, and I couldn't wait to taunt my bullies about it... only when we walked in the door, they kept smiling...”
You put your head down in sadness,
“That should have been my second wake up call... but I ignored it. We danced, we laughed... everything was alright. And then they called out the King and Queen of the dance, and we were it...”
You pause a bit as you suck in some breath.
“Go on...” commands an enraptured crowd member and you obliviously continue (thinking it was Big Red),
“Well we got up on stage, I was given a banner, I was prepared to kiss her... but then she jumped back away from me, and the next thing I knew I was soaked head to hoof in red paint and slime...”
The crowd gasps at this.
“I... I looked out and everyling was laughing at me. The Jocks, the nerds, the teachers, and everyone in between... they all laughed at me... I turned to look at her... and she was laughing” you begin to tear up.
Big Red rests his hoof on your shoulder in comfort as you sniffle,
“Thanks…anyway, I ran. I ran all the way home and didn't look back. My grandbu-pony home schooled me after that.”
“Those jerks!”
“How could they!”
“You should’ve gotten revenge!” shouts a few members, and you register them as Big Red speaking to you. You would have been in shock at blurting out a painful memory in public, but the misery of the memory keeps you on track,
“I wanted to... heck, I was so angry and hurt that I just wanted to burn the whole place down with them inside and revel as they screamed from the cleansing flames consuming their wretched bodies as the beautiful flames cleansed them all in agonizing cleansing glor...” you stop yourself and cough as you realize you're slipping into 'psycho arsonist' mode,
“Well, I wanted to hurt them... but I didn't... and that’s why I bucking hate Heart’s and Hooves day.”
You look up to Big Red, “Thanks for listening man, sometimes it’s good to just talk Stallion to Stallion.”
“Eyup” he says as he pats your back.
You then hear crying as you come out of your story telling zone and see the crowd gathered around you.
“The Buck?” you say taken aback. "...They've been here the whole time haven’t they?”
“Eyup.”
Yes... *Sniff* They have... Selena adds.
Buuuuc- Wait, are you crying? you mentally ask her.
NO! I just hate this holiday for my own reason and I have... allergies...
In my mind?
Shut up! Now find our daughter quickly before a young suitor elopes with her.
You know she’s making excuses, but it works.
*snap*
“AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! BUCK THIS HOLIDAY AND BUCK EVERY MOTHERBUCKER WHO BUCKING CELEBRATES IT!!!” you shout as you run off, ponies shaking their heads in pity.
As you charge off, you don't hear a very angry Selena say in your mind,
If I ever meet the whorse that did that to you, then even you won't be able to hold me back as I make her pay... dearly.
With that said Selena goes back to... wherever she goes in your mind after she's done talking to you while thinking of plans to brutally punish that unclear mare from your fuzzy memories. But you don't notice this as you continue looking for your daughter...
POV CHANGE: NIGHTSHADE
After some after-school punishment (repeatedly writing "I will not be late for or swear in class" on a chalkboard), Nightshade goes into town and finally finds the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Before she can say anything, Apple Bloom asks,
“So Nightshade, you want to help us get Ms. Cheerilee and Big Mac together?”
“Say what now?” you ask, taken aback.
“We're trying to set her brother up with Cheerilee because she’s alone on Hearts and Hooves Day.” Sweetie answers.
“Oh... OK, but don’t adults like, do that themselves?” Nightshade ask.
“Well ya, but come on, they’ll both be alone, so why not get them together?” asks AB.
“Well I just think that Big Red could do SO much better, Cheerilee is mean.” Nightshade pouts.
“Well it’s only because you get bad grades."
"And swear in class."
"And all those pranks ya pull ain't helping." The CMC point out,
“Hey! I... OK, you do have a point.” Nightshade resigns,
“Ya, we all like her, and she deserves someone like my brother, so that’s what we’re gonna give her.”
“But why Big Red?” you ask “Was he just the first stallion you saw?”
“No, we sang a whole song about it,” says Scootaloo, “Button was too young, Mr. Waddles was too old and in the middle of a funeral, your Doctor friend splashed us with mud...”
“Not to mention the creep in the jelly...” Sweetie says with a shudder.
“Huh?” Nightshade asks.
“Nothing... but yeah, we ended our song on Big Macintosh, so now he’s our choice.”
“Darn Tootin, nopony else is better,” Apple Bloom adds.
“You just want her to get with your brother so that you get better grades in class don’t you?” Nightshade accuses.
“Hu-Wha-Whhhaaattt? Nah... don’t be silly hehehe” Apple Bloom stutters as she looks around shiftily.
“Uh-huh. But alright, I’ll help you, as long as she helps my grades too.”
“Deal” Apple Bloom says as the two fillies shake hooves.
“Bloom’s ulterior motives aside, we still want her to be happy, so we’re going to have them meet at the gazebo. Nopony should be unhappy today.” says Sweetie.
“My Dad seemed kind of sad..." Nightshade laments as she remembers his angry ranting about how much he hates this holiday.
“Oh! OH! OH! OH! I just had a great idea!” Exclaims Scootaloo
“What?” they all ask.
“We could get your dad a special somepony as well!”
“Hey ya, that’d be neat, then he wouldn't be sad!”
“And then you could have a new mom!” shouts Sweetie.
“I... I've never had a mommy...” Nightshade muses.
“I know the feeling,” Apple Bloom mumbles in sympathy.
“I guess we could give it a shot, I get a mommy and Daddy gets to be happy, and we all get good grades because of Cheerilee being your sister in law!”
“Heck ya!” you all shout.
“So wait, who do we get my dad set up with?”
“I don’t know, how about Applejack?” asks Sweetie, “she seems to like your dad alot."
“Hay yeah, then you and Bloom will be related!” Scootaloo adds causing Nightshade and Apple Bloom to feel a slight shudder of irony at that statement, but they don't know why.
“I don’t know," Apple Bloom muses "I’m already hitching off mah brother, and having my sister there too might make things... awkward.”
“Good point, How about Rainbow Dash?” adds Scootaloo.
“They did already kiss each other,” says Sweetie.
“Daddy says he was wearing his facemask so it doesn't count. And I thought she was a fillyfooler,” Nightshade counters.
“Well she constantly talks about your dad day and night, so I don’t think so.” Scootaloo adds.
“I don’t know, who else is there?”
“Well, we've both overheard both my sister and Rainbow talking about a group of mares that seem to like your dad, like the DJ Pony, Ms. Aloe, Ms. Octavia...” Apple Bloom says.
“Oh and Fluttershy seems to like him too.” Sweetie Belle interrupts.
“Ugh... that’s way too many mares” Nightshade says exasperated “Whoever is gonna be my new mommy has to be nice, good at getting food, and above all else be tough enough to be able to survive with me and Daddy.”
“Survive what?” the others ask.
“You know, life...” Nightshade starts to say before trailing off as she remembers she can’t tell them too much about the past.
“So what do you want to do?” asks Apple Bloom.
“Well... I know! We invite all those mares into one place for a massive free-for-all to the death! No holds barred! No mercy! And the last mare standing is worthy of being my Mommy! MWAHAHAHAHA!” Nightshade excitedly says before laughing evilly.
The CMC all look at Nightshade in concern before saying,
“That’s... seems excessively violent which would normally be awesome, but it might make Mac and Cheerilee’s date go bad.” Scootaloo comments. “Well... I don’t know then, I don’t know who daddy likes best.” Nightshade shrugs.
“Oh, why don’t we try one at a time? Your dad has plenty of options. Mac and Cheerilee are absolutely perfect, so we’ll test your dad and see which mare is the best for him” says Sweetie.
“Test? How?”
“Well, we start from the quietest and calmest and if that doesn't work, we’ll work our way up to the loudest and awesomeness.”
“So Fluttershy first?" Apple Bloom asks.
"Yeah, that’d be a good place to start, she’s nice, sings me lullabies when I can't sleep, has a bunch of animals I can play with (even though I still can't find that "Angel" she's always talking about), she even used to have a problem with feeding me enough, but she's learned. Don’t know how she would do in a Battle Royale though...” Nightshade muses.
“Hey, don’t count her out, that Stare of her’s is deadly” Scootaloo points out.
“Alright, sounds like a plan... we’ll make up a story about animals or something to get her out of the house” Sweetie says.
“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS MATCHMAKERS YAY!” they all declare.
POV Change: BUGZE (You)
LATER THAT DAY
After running around Ponyville (and knocking through couples like a bowling ball), you finally found Nightshade with the CMC only for them to tell you that Big Red needs help patching the Gazebo. After making sure Nightshade wasn't a special somepony to any colts (although your brain did freeze when Nightshade told you a few fillies gave her "Be mine?" card), you headed over to the Gazebo (after doubling back and asking the CMC where the Gazebo was... three times). You finally reach the Gazebo area and you see...
The gazebo completely unbroken and a picnic set up with Cheerlie and Fluttershy on one side, Big Red on the other, and the CMC right in between. You stare blankly at them as they have yet to notice you as you mutter,
Through the use of your brilliant mind, you manage to deduce that the CMC are currently trying to play matchmaker, something that would undeniably end in complete and total disaster. With this deduction in mind, you decide that the best option is to turn tail and book it out of there.
Looking at the scene, you think,
If my knowledge on sitcom serials are correct, those fillies are trying to play matchmaker...
With that thought, you can't help but sigh at this and think,
At this point, I'm not surprised that those fillies tried to do this, but why did they have to drag poor Fluttershy and Big Red into this? I'm pretty sure Big Red has better things to do then date Miss. Nag over there. Plus he could do SO much better with his hardworking nature, strong muscles, overall hunky bui-GAH! Stupid Sexy Big Red...
After shaking your head clear of those thoughts (changelings normally "swing both ways" due to feeding on love and being able to disguise as either gender, but you inherited a genetic mental defect (by changelings standards) from Grandbuggy that makes you only prefer mares), you continue,
And poor Fluttershy is WAY too shy for such a holiday to appeal to her. Makes me wonder how they convinced her to come here in the first place. Although I will admit those fillies have good taste as Fluttershy is kind, good with Nightshade, feels really good pressed against m- NO! BAD BUG!!! Snap out of it!!! Option time...
With that thought you get into your thinking pose as you go over your options...
Well, there are a few options to you at this time: 1. Walk away now before you are caught and proceed to hide away the rest of the day in your shack...wait, you can't go there, AJ and RD were there last time. How about under a rock? It's so original. (And you found a nice large rock in a park while you were trudging through town that would be perfect.) 2. Humor the girls and sit down and talk to Fluttershy, Big Mac, and Cheerlie. (Will probably end up with you getting a lecture about your daughter's grades and language.) 3. Lecture the girls and risk getting caught up in their scheme anyway. (Dear Luna, you hate this holiday.) Bugze mutters to himself: "Well, option 1 it is.: You proceed to walk away when- Fluttershy: Oh, hello Mr. Tennant. Bugze:*whispers BUCK! and turns around* Hello Fluttershy, Miss Cheerlie, Red, *looks to the bush the girls are hiding in* Girls, how are you all doing? Bugze: I guess I am going with Option 2. Selena, please help me from doing something completely stupid. Selena: And you think I know how to properly court a mare? Did you forget that I was imprisoned on the moon for the last millennia? Bugze: I just need help keeping me from making a bigger fool of myself than I feel I am going to make.
*CRACK* You freeze in place at the sound, and look down to see that you stepped on a small twig. A sense of dread fills you, and you look back to see that the sound has drawn the attention of the ponies in the Gazebo.
One, I walk away now and hide away the rest of the day in my shack... wait, can't go there. AJ and RD were there last time. How about under a rock? Never-mind, decide location later... Two, I humor the girls and sit down and talk to Fluttershy, Big Mac, and Cheerlie... and most likely end up getting a lecture about Nightshade's grades and behavior... Third, I lecture the girls and risk getting caught up in their scheme anyway. Dear Luna, I hate this bucking holiday.
After going over those options you mutter to yourself,
"Well, option 1 it is." You proceed to walk away when-
*CRACK*
You freeze in place at the sound, and look down to see that you stepped on a small twig. A sense of dread fills you, and you look back to see that the sound has drawn the attention of the ponies in the Gazebo.
"Oh, hello Mr. Tennant." Fluttershy greets,
"Buck..." you mutter as you turn around with a fake smile plastered on your face under the face mask and scarf,
"Hello Fluttershy, Miss Cheerlie, Red, Girls, how are you all doing?"
You then start walking over as you think,
I guess I am going with Option 2. Selena, please help me from doing something completely stupid.
And you think I know how to properly court a mare? Did you forget that I was imprisoned on the moon for the last millennia?
I just need help keeping me from making a bigger fool of myself than I feel I am going to make.
In that case, I recommend just acting like yourself... but with less idiocy and more oh what do the young ones call it...'pazzas'.
You nod your head at this and think,
Right, just act like myself but with less idi-HEY! I am not a idiot. I'm just... slow when it comes to learning.
You can't help but think that Selena is giving you a blank look as she says,
Righhhhhhhht. And I'm not stuck in your empty skull.
Your about to give a well-thought-out witty retort when you notice you're getting closer to the picnic so you bluntly respond,
“So…what’s going on here? I thought you girls said the gazebo needed fixing?”
“Eyup,” Big Red agrees.
“Oh yeah... it definitely does.” says Scootaloo.
You give her a deadpan look as you point at the perfectly fine Gazebo causing her to start chuckling nervously,
“Uh-huh... but we also were going to talk to Cheerilee and Fluttershy." says Apple Bloom in a nervously rushed manner.
“But I thought you girls needed help with Math Homework?” Cheerilee says.
“You told me you found a platypus-bunny you wanted to show me?” Fluttershy says.
You all look to the girls and you shout (while looking around in excitement),
“A platypus-bunny? Where?! That sounds awesome!”
“Eyup!”
“I've never even heard of such a thing, how fascinating” says Cheerilee.
“Can we see him girls?” asks Fluttershy.
“Yyyyeeeaaahhh... we did say that too... ummm...” the girls all hesitantly say as they try to look nonchalant.
“That is why... we are going to get it!” Nightshade blurts out, “It’s over there somewhere, next to our homework, so you all just sit tight while we go get both... those... things...”
“Oh, maybe I should go with you it might get scared of you three.” Fluttershy offers.
“No no it’s fine, he already likes us” stammers Apple Bloom.
“Yeah, we already named him and everything” says Sweetie.
“You/We did?,” everypony but Sweetie says at once.
“Umm... yes...” Sweetie sweats nervously “his name is...”
“Doug?” guesses Scootaloo randomly.
“Yeah, Doug!” shouts Sweetie.
“Ya, so you four sit tight, and we’ll go get Doug!” Apple Bloom stammers.
The girls bolt away but you cry out,
“Wait! What are we supposed to do with the Gazebo?”
Sweetie Belle turns around,
“Forget about the Gazebo! Get comfortable with the picnic!” she shouts before jumping into a bush.
As soon as the fillies are outta sight, your cheerfulness disappears as you gain a deep frown. Cheerlie and Fluttershy look at you in shock (they obviously can't see your mouth due to the face mask and scarf, but they noticed your body language slumping), while Big Red just nods his head in understanding. It looks like Fluttershy is about to say something, but you hold up your hoof to stop as you say,
"Hold that thought, I gotta do something real quick."
With that you walk over to one of the trees holding up the top part of the Gazebo and proceed to start smashing your face into it. Cheerilee and Fluttershy looks at you in concern as the latter asks Big Red...
Fluttershy- um girls, why is Hoo-Tennant hitting his head against a wall?
"Um... why is Hoo-Tennant hitting his head against a tree?"
Before Big red can answer, you answer for him (in between busting your head into the tree) as you say...
"Trying to *thud* knock *thud* myself *thud* out *thud* so this *thud* bucking *thud* holiday *thud* will be *thud* over. *thud*"
Cheerilee then says,
"Okay... Anyway, Mr. Tennant about your daughter's-"
"Not in the bucking mood!" you snap, eyes glowing orange, "I bucking swear if I hear one more bucking word outta your bucking mouth about my daughter's bucking grades it will be your bucking head repeatedly bucking slamming against this bucking gaze-buck, ga-buck-o... BUCK!!!
*THUD*THUD*THUD*THUD*THUD*CRACK*
You grabbed the tree and started slamming your head into it with more speed and intensity until it breaks from the repeated barrage of your thick skull. You snap out of it and comment,
"Hey! The gazebo does need patching!"
Big Red rolls his eyes (after snapping out of the shocked silence your outburst put him, Fluttershy, and Cheerilee into) before you and him fix the gazebo.
You and Big Red eventually finish fixing the broken tree (some duct tape, twigs, and a plunger fixed it up real quick) and then you, Big Red, Fluttershy, and Cheerilee decides to sit down at the picnic (free food is free food). While Big Red and Cheerilee talk, you ask Fluttershy in a whisper,
"Anyway, you were gonna say something Fluttershy?"
She nods her head shyly as she says in a quieter tone then normal so only you can hear you (you had to lean over the picnic spread to hear her though)...
A few minutes pass, so you talk to Fluttershy and ask her when the meeting will be. She says that the day after Spike’s Birthday would be a good time.
"Well Hoody, I managed to make it so the meeting happens sometime before the Dragon Migration, so I hope you have a plan to break the disbandment news gently."
You nod your head at what she said and whisper back,
"Don't worry Fluttershy, I have a plan all thought up in here."
You point at your head when you say this, but before you can say anything else you hear a flirty voice say behind you,
"Oh~ Mister Tennant are you on a double date? And you're already at 'sweet-nothing-whispering' with Miss Fluttershy huh?"
*Spurt*
Your head shoots up and you fall on your back as blood shoots out of your nose. You stare up into the sky in a daze trying to figure out how to respond to this, when a shadow covers you. You blink a little as you snap out of your daze to see...
After more waiting, more of your stalker crowd shows up. Aloe shows up because someone told her that Bulk Biceps was around and she's trying to set up her sister with him so that she'll get off her back when it comes to Tennant. She sees you there and proceeds to start massaging your shoulders.
Aloe giving you her usual flirty smile. You quickly get up and stutter,
"It-it wasn't like that! We were just whispering is all I swear!"
Aloe giggles at you as she says,
"Oh whispering are we? About what... maybe where you two will meet up tonight for some Hearts and Hooves fun? Got room for one more?"
*wink*
*SPURT*
More blood begins to gush outta of your nose at her sentence. You put your hoof to your nose to try and stop the blood flow so it doesn't cover your awesome scarf and face mask in blood. After you think the blood has stopped coming outta your nose you turn around to see how the others are reacting to this...
Big Red looks as stoic as ever, but you can just see the laughter in his eyes, Cheerlie is holding back laughter, and Fluttershy... has a deep blush and some blood coming out of her nose. You have to blink a couple times to see if your seeing things, but when you realize that's not the case you can't help but think,
Oh Luna this holiday must have corrupted Fluttershy somehow! She would never act this way other wise. Buck this holi-Oooohhhh.
Your angry thought is suddenly ended as you suddenly feel really relaxed. You then realize that there's some pressure on your shoulders and you turn your head to see what's causing it and you see Aloe right behind you giving you a back massage. She smiles at you as she says,
"You know I originally came here because a mystery letter told me Bulk Biceps would be here and I was gonna give him a fake love letter from my sister so she would finally get a stallion and get off my back about how I act with you, but seeing how tense you are I guess I can give ya a massage but..."
Aloe leans in until her lips are so close to your ear you can feel her breath as she whispers in a seductive tone,
"It'll cost ya..."
*Spurt* x2
As more blood starts to shoot out of your nose, you can't help but think,
This can't get anymore awkward...
"What is going on here!?"
You feel dread as you mentally shout,
WHY THE BUCK DID I THINK THAT?!!!
You shake out of Aloe's massage, which causes said mare to scowl as you turn around and see...
Octavia shows up because she was told an audience wanted to hear her play, so she keeps trying to.
An angry Octavia with her Cello next to her, but what surprises you is the fact that she's not glaring at you, but at Aloe! As Octavia continues to glare at Aloe, you can't help but think,
Well she is a classy lady, so I guess seeing a mare act like this is kinda offending her... I guess.
With that thought in mind you are about to say something when Octavia says,
"I come here because a letter with some bits told me that I was hired specifically to play some romantic songs with my Cello, but when I get here all I see is this mare trying to make Mister Tennant die from blood loss."
Aloe doesn't seem to be bothered by Octavia's outburst as she smiles and says,
"Oh, so you're going to be our musical entertainment it seems. I didn't know you could be so romantic Mister Tennant. Or did you set this up for Big Mac and Cheerlie?"
As you stutter to try and deny what she said while Big Red just says "Nope", Octavia just sighs as she lifts up her Cello and says,
"Oh well, a job is a job. Even if the company is too... *shoots a glare at Aloe* licentious for my case."
With that Octavia begins to play her Cello and you have to admit that, even through classical isn't your favorite kind of music, she's really good and he seems so focused too. As you begin to lose yourself to her beautiful cello skills, you don't notice Big Red and Cheerilee continue to chat while Aloe gives Fluttershy a back massage, but the music is interrupted by a loud shout of,
"HE LIKES ME MORE!"
*sound that happens when a musician messes up a cord*
Octavia's eye twitches in annoyance as all you can do is turn towards where the shout came from and think in dread,
Oh buck! What are the Fillyfoolers doing here!? If they see this they might kill me or Aloe or Octavia! I need to get out of here and fast!
You're about to make a break for it when you hear the Fillyfoolers shout,
Finally AJ and RD show up at the same time still squabbling, but both of them start talking about how they were told to come for different things. AJ came because there was supposed to be a rope salesman (don't wonder why she needs it) and RD was told that Spitfire was practicing out there. You look around hoping to see said Wonderbolt, but are disappointed.
"THERE HE IS!"
You wince in fear as you think,
I'm a dead bug...
You silently cry anime tears as Applejack and Rainbow run over to the picnic and glare at the mares present (besides Fluttershy who had the common sense to hide in a nearby bush). After they glare for awhile, Applejack says in a accusing tone,
"So Mister Tennant, mind if I ask what your doing with these mares and ma brother?"
You chuckle in fear as you say,
"Well the funny thing is that-"
However before you can finish Rainbow blurts out,
"What does it look like Applejack, while we were busy discussing why a certain pony likes me better, Mister Tennant went out on a double date with Big Mac here."
You quickly shake your head back and froth in a panic as you say,
"No no no no no no! That's not it I swear! I only came cause-"
Your plead is stopped as Aloe says,
"Oh how could you have figured out our secret! Mister Tennant decided to fake a double date to get Big Mac to ask out Cheerlie. Isn't that right Mister Tennant?"
You look at her in confusion as you think,
Is she covering for me? Why would she-oh it doesn't matter! I'll take it if it means not getting beaten into a pulp by these two. Sorry Big Red but looks like your gonna be my scapegoat today!
With that thought in mind you say,
"Yea...Yeah that's it. Big Red here was too shy to go on a date with Ms. Na-I mean Cheerlie so me and Aloe here came up with a plan to get them together with Octavia providing romantic music and Aloe giving massages, yeah... hahahahhahahahaha."
As you begin to give a awkward laugh you can't help but notice the death glares Big Red and Cheerlie are giving you. You gulp in fear as you think,
I'll apologize to them later... okay I'll apologizes to Big Red at least. For now let's change the subject so they won't ask me anymore questions.
With that thought in mind you quickly ask,
"So, what brings you two girls here anyway?"
Rainbow and Applejack look at you suspiciously, but they shrug it off as Applejack says,
"I came here because a letter told me there would be a rope salesmen around here. I snapped my last one trying to catch that no good varmint, so I need a new one to hog tie that pesky Offender."
You gulp in fear at her statement (and Octavia gives Applejack a glare) and are about think how you broke her rope, when Rainbow says,
"Yah well I came here because I was told that Spitfire was gonna show up here. I was gonna show her my awesome moves so she would finally let me into the Wonderbolts, but it looks like that letter was lying. Oh well, at least I can ask my question that I was gonna ask you this morning B.S.T."
Rainbow is about to continue her comment when Applejack gets in Rainbow's face as she says,
"Ah thought ah told ya this morning Rainbow, he likes me more then you. So stop trying to steal him ya fillyfooler!"
Rainbow glares back at Applejack as she says,
"And I thought I told you that he's mine! I kissed him first and I called dibs!"
"You can't call dibs on a pony!"
"Say's who?"
"Say's me!"
Rainbow seems to have enough of this as she shouts,
You roll your eyes in annoyance and walk off as you think,
This bucking holiday is making everyling act crazy!
As you walk away in an annoyed huff as the mares start to argue (well mostly Applejack and Rainbow. Aloe, Octavia, and Vinyl are just watching the argument in either confusion or amusement). As you do you don't hear a certain unicorn filly yell,
“What the hay are they doing har?” asks Apple Bloom “the first date ain't even been five minutes.”
“Right on time, I gave them all the same letters” Nightshade comments while looking at her 'watch' (a clock crudely drawn on to her wrist in crayon), “Telling them to come at different times, but I guess some of them decided to come early.”
“You thought Five Minutes was enough for a date?” asks Scootaloo.
“Well I don’t know how this works. I’m not even two years old yet, cut me some slack.”
Sweetie shakes her head, “Well obviously it would be longer beca- wait what? How old are you?”
“Your age!” she says quickly eyes darting around which the others look skeptical about, but they focus their attention on the arguing mares, but notice that Bugze is already slipping away while Big Mac and Cheerilee decide to leave as well, and Fluttershy decides to look for the Platypus-Bunny herself.
As Bugze walks down the road past the bush the CMC are hiding in he mutters,
“Stupid bucking holiday! Stupid obsessed mares. Any other day is fine (not really), but not Bucking today. I’m glad I burned those bucking Colt’s letters, Nightshade is going to hate this day too if it’s the last thing I do!”
If Bugze bothered to stop and look carefully inside the bush, he would've seen Nightshade with her teeth grit and eyes glowing white as the other CMC huddled in the opposite corner in fear,
“He... burned... my... cards?!” she says in a restrained angry whisper.
“Ohhh... no wonder several of those colts looked so sad in class...” muses Apple Bloom.
Nightshade looks to the girls with an evil smile,
“Well girls, I've decided I’m going to get revenge on my daddy by getting him ALL da b****, whether he likes it or not.”
“That sound evil” says Scootaloo.
“Daddy’s gotta learn not to butt into my life all the time...” Nightshade grunts.
"Wait, how is getting your dad all the mares a bad thing?" Sweetie asks, "Rarity says a herd is most stallions' 'uncouth fantasy'."
You're walking towards Ponyville muttering how much you hate this holiday when *thud* you bump into somepony. As you reorient yourself you hear,
"Hi everypony!"
"Hi Doctor Quacksalver." you reply on reflex as you recognize the voice of a certain "doctor".
"Oh hi 'B.S.' You here for another check up?"
Quacksalver has been your go-to Doctor in Ponyville because he's the only medical pony in town that won't rat you out for being a changeling. Fortunately you don't need to worry about Nightshade as Quacksalver made it clear that he DOESN'T treat foals (he claims that the organs of growing foals are constantly shifting around making it impossible to work on them).
"No. I'm just trying to find a way to get away from this bucking holiday." you bitterly retort. Quacksalver looks at you intently before saying,
"Hmmm... elevated grump levels, cursing Heart and Hooves Day; You clearly have a case of 'Cardiac-Breakus', a common disease around this time that can be treated in one of two ways."
"Oh please do enlighten me." you ask with bitter sarcasm. Oblivious to your tone, Quacksalver responds,
"Option one involves direct surgery that involves using rose thorns as scalpels-"
"The other?" you bluntly interrupt
"Prescribing a diet of huge amounts of ice cream to freeze the torn cardiac muscles whole again."
"I'm guessing most ponies pick option 2?" you ask sarcastically.
"Almost correct." the Quack responds obviously, "But almost all ponies pick option 2. I did perform option 1 on one donkey but ran out of roses so I need to use artichoke hear-"
"Are you done yet?" you snap in annoyance.
"Fine, I'll write you the prescription." Quacksalver says before taking out a slip of paper and scribbling on it with a pink crayon before hoofing it to you, "Just take this to the ice cream shop and they'll do the rest."
"Thanks doc." you sarcastically say before snatching the note in annoyance and trotting off...
"Ahem."
You roll you eyes before tossing the "Doctor" a bit.
"Thanks. Bye everypony!"
(39 bits remaining "CB Prescription" added to the Inventory)
Seeing how you have nothing better to do, you walk into the Ice cream shop, With a sigh you walk over to the ice cream shop, walk up to the counter, and hoof him the "prescription". He looks at you funnily for a second, before he seems to recognize the hoof writing of the prescription. He gives you a sad nod before he takes the prescription and walks into the backroom.
As you wait, you can literally feel the depression radiating off all the ponies in here. You can't help but pity these poor saps (most of whom are mares) as you think,
So many broken hearts... Guess I'm not the only one who hates this bucking holiday, but misery loves company I gue-*thump*
Your thoughts are interrupted as you hear a thud on the counter and you turn in shock to see a tub the size of your head filled with chocolate ice cream with chocolate pudding ripple, chocolate frosting swirl, chocolate chips, chocolate mini-marshmallows, double brownie bites, chocolate cookie pieces, and chocolate sprinkles all drizzled with hot fudge and a big spoon.
"One 'Choco-loaded Tub Therapy' on the recommendation of Doctor Quacksalver. 6 Bits." the owner says,
You hoof him the bits in stunned silence before you walk over to an empty booth and begin to dig into the chocolaty goodness. A few spoonfuls in you can't help but mumble,
"Buck this bucking holiday to bucking Tartarus."
Apparently your mumble was more of a shout as you get several cries from the heartbroken ponies in the room saying,
"Amen to that."
"I'm with you there brother."
"Screw it to bucking Tartarus!"
"A toast for these great words of wisdom!"
With that and a shout of "here here" the ponies and you toast your tubs and then proceed to eat your troubles away...
(33 Bits remaining)
POV CHANGE: NIGHTSHADE
ONE GETTING-THE-LOVE-BOOK-FROM-TWILIGHT-AND-BECAUSE-YOU'VE-ALL-ALREADY-SEEN-THIS-IN-THE-SHOW-WE-DON'T-NEED-TO-REPEAT-IT-HERE LATER
Applejack and Rainbow Dash are still arguing while Vinyl, Aloe, and even Octavia are all drinking Vinyl's beer and Fluttershy continues to look for the platypus-bunny. They don't notice Nightshade come over with a huge bowl of "Nightmare Night Punch" (or at least that's what she tried to make, but kept using the wrong ingredients (like wine instead of grape soft drink mix) and punching the bowl every 30 seconds).
"Oh no my daddy is getting attacked by a rabid platypus bunny! And I'm the only one who knows where he is!" Nightshade screams,
The arguing/drinking/searching mares stop what their doing and look at Nightshade in worry. However she just smiles innocently as she say,
"Ah, I was just kidding. But you see I have this punch here that I know you guys will love. I made it myself. It's a gift on behalf of my Daddy as an apology for being a grump.” Nightshade says as she holds up a picture of her dad.
“Um... sugarcube? That ain’t your daddy, that’s a picture of a changeling.” points out a confused Applejack.
She looks at the picture she’s holding and it shows Bugze in Appleloosa without an outfit on (except for his favorite stetson) smiling at the camera.
“Whoops, wrong photo, how did that even get there?” the filly wonders as she digs into her vest pocket, “Here we go,” she says as she holds up a photo of "Baker Sylvester Tennant".
She then tapes the picture to the front of the bowl as all the mares look at the (admittedly disgusting-looking) bubbling black 'punch' hesitantly (only Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash are kind/brave enough to grab a glass) before Octavia says,
"Oh... Thank you miss Nightshade, but I need to go and fine t-"
"But my daddy likes it..." Nightshade pouts with dejected puppy eyes forcing the mares to give in out of guilt and take a nervous gulp before they all down their glasses of "punch" as quickly as they can.
Soon the mares are all coughing and hacking at the horrible taste before they look at the picture of Baker Sylvester Tennant. Suddenly they all get hearts in their eyes as their gazing becomes more intense and they yell,
"AH MUST FIND MAH HARD-WORKING HUSBAND!"
"I GOTTA FIND THE ONLY AWESOME DUDE WHO'S AWESOME ENOUGH TO BUCK ME!"
"WHERE'S THAT HUNK O'TENNANT! I NEED ME SOME LOVING!"
"COME ON OCTY! LET'S GO HAVE A THREESOME WITH MISTER TENNANT!"
"RIGHT BEHIND YOU VINYL!"
"I'M GONNA GO FIND MY SWEET HERO IN THE HOODED ARMOR!"
"LET'S GO FIND OUR DESTINED ONE!"
After the mares all bolt off, Nightshade chuckles evilly as she says,
“Heh heh, take that daddy, burn my cards will ya? Speaking of which, I better buy those guys a cupcake or something so they don’t think I’m a B!$&# like Diamond and Silver Spoon...” she says as she wanders off forgetting about the punch...
POV CHANGE: BUGZE (YOU)
You've been walking around in anger for a while now, while the ice cream did make you feel better while you were eating it, that soon wore off as wherever you go there's more Hearts and Hooves day couples being all lovey-dovey. Your mood has gotten so bad that you're radiating Killer Intent and your eyes glow an intense orange as wisps on the Nightmare Cloak start floating off your body. Ponies have been either backing away from you in fear or have avoided you for awhile now (after you Falcon Punched a tree to the next planet in anger). You're about to Psycho Crusher through a passing couple when you see...
Flash runs into Twilight who recognize each other from the Gala and from the Diamond Dog-minions incident. "You're scouting undercover through the various towns not in Shining's sweeping pattern." Twilight deduces, Flash looks at her in stunned/impressed silence, but before he could say anything Twilight says, "Even though the baggy jacket hides it, the outline of your armor is still visible from under your shirt, your guitar case has various small town souvenir stickers on it and speaking of which, that guitar case looks too big for your average guitar so I'm guessing it contains your Royal Guard-issued weapons instead of a guitar." Flash chuckles and says, "Wow, your Shin- I mean, the Captain's sister all right. You were right about everything except the last one. This case still has enough room for my guitar too."
Flash bumping into Twilight. You look at them in curiosity and your mood lightens slightly as you think,
Finally, ponies who aren't in love. I think I'm gonna go on over and have a chat with them. Maybe my mood will improve. If not then-
KILL THE WAIFU-STEALER WITH A FALCON PUNCH TO THE-
SHUT UP!!! you and Selena mentally scream at the voices.
Ignoring the threat to harm Flash from the voices inside your head, you begin to walk over to them. As you near them you hear part of their conversation...
"...scouting undercover through the various towns not in Shining's sweeping pattern." Twilight deduces,
Flash looks at her in stunned/impressed silence, but before he could say anything Twilight says,
"Even though the baggy jacket hides it, the outline of your armor is still visible from under your shirt, your guitar case has various small town souvenir stickers on it and speaking of which, that guitar case looks too big for your average guitar so I'm guessing it contains your Royal Guard-issued weapons instead of a guitar."
Flash chuckles and says,
"Wow, your Shin- I mean, the Captain's sister all right. You were right about everything except the last one. This case still has enough room for my guitar too."
You can't help but blink in shock as you think,
Dang... she hit the nail on the head with him huh?
Indeed, she must have great observation skills if sh-
You interrupt Selena's comment as you think,
Wait a minute... how in Luna's name did she figure that out by looking at his suitcase, yet she can't figure out the obvious changeling only wearing clothes for a disguise who looks like the Offender changeling and El Hunko from the Gala?
...Or maybe she just had a really good guess with that simpleton over there.
You chuckle slightly at that as you think,
Yah that must be it, well time to say hello!
With that you finally finish walking over to them as you say,
"Hiya Twilight, who's your friend?"
Twilight and Flash look over to you as she smiles and says,
-- Later you see Twilight in the street. "Hey, Tennant!" she calls. "Happy Hearts and-" "Don't," you interrupt. "I swear, if I hear that phrase one more time, I will tear the pony who says it limb from limb!" "... Sorry, Tennant," she apologizes, edging away. You calm down. "No, I'm sorry," you say. "I just... I really bucking hate this holiday, and what the CMC tried to pull didn't help." "The CMC? Oh, I saw them just a while ago. I lent them a book about Hearts and Hooves Day." "...The CMC asked to borrow a book?" you say. "That... doesn't seem right. Are they going for Literacy Cutie Marks now or something?" "I don't know," Twilight replies. "But they seemed really interested when I mentioned that Hearts and Hooves Day started because of a love potion." "... A love potion?" you say, a panic in the edge of your voice. "Twilight... you are aware that they've been playing matchmaker all day, right?" A strand of hair pops out of Twilight's mane and her eyes start twitching. "I'll sweep the west side of town!" you shout. "I'll take the east!" Twilight shouts back. You both bolt off to find the CMC before they do something irrevocably stupid.
This, except it's Flash Sentry pointing this out instead of Bugze (due to the CMC's antics being infamous (Celestia herself has commented she's gotten more damage reports as a result of those fillies actions than from Parasprites), Flash questions why Twilight would just nonchalantly give them a book about how to make a love potion)
"Hey, Mr. Tennant! This is Flash Sentry, he's a friend from Canterlot that I met at the Gala. He's here for a visit."
Flash gives her a thankful smile for the cover, and he smiles at you as he says,
"Nice to meet you Tennant, Happy Hearts and-"
*snap* "Don't," you interrupt as your eyes glow orange, "I swear, if I hear that phrase one more time, I will Falcon Punch the motherbucker who says it in the bucking balls!"
"...Sorry, Mr. Tennant," he apologizes hesitantly as he edges away. You calm down and say,
"No, I'm sorry. I just... I really bucking hate this holiday, and what the CMC tried to pull didn't help."
Twilight looks at you in surprise while Flash... gulps in fear? You ignore it as Twilight says,
"The CMC? What did they do now?" Twilight asks.
"They tried to play Princess Cadance with me by setting me and Big Red in a double date with Fluttershy and Cheerilee."
Twilight rolls her eyes and says,
"I'm going to have a talk with those four... Oh, I saw them just a while ago. I lent them a book about Hearts and Hooves Day." Twilight answers.
"...The CMC asked to borrow a book?" you say in surprise, "Are they going for Literacy Cutie Marks now or something?"
"I don't know-" Twilight replies, "But they seemed really interested when I mentioned that Hearts and Hooves Day started because of a love potion-"
Flash interrupts in a slightly-panicking voice,
"Wait. by CMC you wouldn't happen to mean the Cutie Mark Crusaders, right?"
"Yes." You and Twilight respond.
"Which consists of the fillies Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Nightshade, right?"
"Yes..." you and Twilight say more hesitantly now.
"The same fillies who's actions Princess Celestia says causes more damage than any other foals in history... And you just gave them a book on how to make a love potion." Flash says with emphasis.
"Yes, I..."
Suddenly a strand of hair pops out of Twilight's mane and her eyes start twitching. Your eye also starts to twitch and you can feel the dread building up within you. Suddenly you all come to the same conclusion as Flash yells,
"I'll sweep the skies!"
"I'll take the east!" Twilight shouts back.
"I'll head west! Let's meet back here in two hours. Hopefully one of us would have found those troublemakers by then!"
Twilight and Flash nod their heads at your suggestion. With that the three of you bolt off (while Flash takes off) to find the CMC before they do something irrevocably stupid...
BACK WITH THE LOVE POISONED PUNCH
Pinkie Pie comes along the punch and decides to give it to everyone she sees. Thanks to Pinkie, countless mares, and even a few stallions, look desperately for Bugze.
Pinkie wanders by the gazebo and sees the abandoned bowl of punch with B.S.T.'s picture on it.
"Oooooh! Perfectly good punch! I'm gonna give it out to everypony I see as a Hearts and Hooves day present!"
Pinkie grabs the Punch bowl, but sees your picture on all the cups she picked up. She shrugs her shoulders as she says,
"Huh, I guess this is T's present. Oh well, I'll pass it out for him!"
And with that Pinkie Pie heads out to spread 'your' gift to everypony she sees. Including stallions!
...
You're bucked.
BACK WITH YOU
"Huff... where huff... are those huff... troublemakers? Huff..."
You've been running around the north part of Ponyville for a good hour now and you still can't find the CMC and your daughter anywhere. You sigh in defeat as you say,
Flash and Twilight run into each other (quite literally) at the front of the Ponyville library.
"Any... Huff... luck?" Twilight asks.
"While I did see abnormal activity throughout town, I couldn't locate the Cutie Mark Crusaders anywhere." Flash responds being less fatigued due to his Royal Guard training. He's about to continue when Pinkie shows up with some punch. Flash nonchalantly thanks Pinkie and gulps it, only to almost spit it out (his nice-guy nature stops from from doing so and risking hurting Pinkie's feelings), but grimaces instead and is about to continue when he sees the picture of Baker Sylvester Tennant on the punch bowl and gets hearts in his eyes before saying to Twilight,
“Look, you’re cute, intelligent, a natural leader, and all, even if you are the Captain’s sister” he says causing Twilight to blush in shock “BUT MY HEART BELONGS TO BAKER SYLVESTER TENNANT! WHOEVER THE BUCK THAT IS!”
He then flies off. Twilight is left speechless by this and groans in frustration,
“Grrr... why do all the handsome ones turn out to be Colt Cuddlers?!” she then downs the punch glass Pinkie gave her as Spike opens the door.
“You OK Twi? I heard shouting?” he asks.
“On second thought, he does have great taste in stallions,” she says, “Hold this Spike, I’m going to go lose my innocence to Mr. Tennant!” she then runs out the door.
Spike just looks at the empty cup and back out the door in confusion,
“Wh-What?”
BACK WITH YOU
"Eh they probably found them by now. I'm just gonna go find a huge rock to hide under before things get any worse..."
With that you turn around and are about to walk back to the meeting point when you hear something... strange from behind you. You look behind you in confusion as you mumble,
"What the buck..." You strain your ears, but you still can't hear exactly what it is. But you remember a hoofy spell you used when you where first in Appaloosa. You smile slightly as you chant,
"Give me the sight of an hawk. Give me the sight of an eagle. Show me what others can't stalk. Give me the power of... ZOOM!"
You hold your head in pain from the magical drain, but you ignore it when you see (and now hear) the horror approaching you...
As Bugze walks into town, he is suddenly glomped by a group of mares who keep kissing him all over his face until he teleports away. He sees the usually crowd, AJ, Rainbow, Fluttershy, Aloe, Octavia, Vinyl, as they all start wrestling each other…(Spurt) but then he see’s become surrounded by countless more mares (and a few stallions). Including the Mayor, Raven, the Flower Trio, Lyra, Bon Bon, Flash, Caramel and the rest of the Deadly 6 (except Pinkie), and countless more.
A hoard of mares and stallions with hearts in their eyes (including the Mayor, Raven, the Flower Trio, Lyra, Bon Bon, Flash, Caramel, and the rest of the Deadly 6 (except Pinkie), and countless more) charging at you! You exit out of Zoom and make a run for it, but before you do a whole group of Pegasus dive-bomb at you! Luckily you managed to teleport out of the pony pile, but you teleported into a group of mud-brawling ponies! You notice that the group of ponies is Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Aloe, Octavia, and Vinyl and somehow they're all free-for-alling in mud-
*SPURT*
And the nosebleed from that launches you out of the pile and into a wall. After you get up and shake your head to reorient yourself, you see the ponies coming at you and decide to make the best of this situation and do what you do best... RUN LIKE HECK!
As you run, you hear the crowd behind you,
"HE'S GETTING AWAY! DON'T LET OUR DESTINED GET AWAY!"
As you run away from crazy crowd, you hear them scream behind you...
“We all love you Tennat! Be our special somepony!” they all yell in unision, creeping you right the buck out.
“We all love you Tennat! Be our special somepony!” they all yell in unison, creeping you right the buck out.
You can't help but scream back a response,
"BUCK YOU LADY LUCK! I MEAN GRANDBUGGY WOULD BE PROUD OF ME FOR ALL THESE MARES, BUT STALLIONS TOO?! COME ON- GAH! FOCUS BUG!!!"
With that said you run into a alley to hide in, and as the lustful mob runs by you sigh in relief and think,
It's like that incident with Twilight's doll all over again...
Suddenly...
You are about to shout your anger to lady luck…but then you feel a leg around your neck. “I don’t know how you did it buddy, but you’ve gotten practically every mare in town after you. Respect Bro!” Thunderlane hoof bumps you. “You’ve gotta help me out!” you scream. “Sorry bro…” he says as he looks to AJ and RD wrestling in mud with Octavia and Fluttershy and Vinyl as Aloe mudbends them “But I have to see this through…” he rushes off and sets up a lawn chair with some beers and watches the mares with drool in his mouth. “OH BUCK YOU THUNDERLAAAAAAANNNNNEEEE!!!!” you shout to the sky as the town surrounds you.
You feel a leg around your neck. Before you can Falcon Punch the arm's owner in a panic you hear Thunderlane's voice says,
“I don’t know how you did it buddy, but you've gotten practically every mare in town after you. Respect Bro!” Thunderlane hoof bumps you.
“You’ve gotta help me out!” you scream.
“Sorry bro...” he says as he looks to the alley and sees a dozen mares (including Octavia, Vinyl, Rarity, Bon Bon, and Lyra) brawling as Aloe mudbends them, “But I have to see this through...” he rushes off and sets up a lawn chair with some beers and watches the mares with drool in his mouth.
“OH BUCK YOU THUNDERLAAAAAAANNNNNEEEE!!!!” you scream to the heavens... giving away your position.
Perhaps your future cursings of Mistress Luck and those you hate should be done with less volume... Selena comments.
POV CHANGE: NIGHTSHADE
Nightshade has her eyes closed as she walks down the street whistling a happy tone. She's so happy because she got back at her daddy for burning all her Heart's and Hooves day cards.
I wonder why those colts were so understanding on my Daddy burning their cards... Eh, doesn't matter since I got my reve-huh? What's that sound?
Nightshade opens her eyes and strains her ears to hear...
Thinking quickly and heading towards what sounded like her Daddy's voice, Nightshade jumps in time to avoid...
Her Daddy as a mob of ponies (both stallions and mares) chasing after him with hearts in their eyes (and she swore she heard them all shouting "MINE!"). Nightshade can only stare in shock for a few seconds before she says...
"Why do i get the feeling this is all my fault..."
A few more moments later and Nightshade sees Pinkie skipping her way towards her with a bowl of black punch. Nightshade stares at it in confusion as she says out loud,
"That's strange, why is Pinkie carrying around a... punch... bowl..."
The gears in little Nightshade's head begin to turn as she does the math in her head:
Black punch + crazy love mob + my Daddy + love potion =... *ding*
"OH BUCK THAT'S THE LOVE POTION PUNCH I MADE!"
At this revelation, Nightshade rushes towards Pinkie and yells,
"LOOK PINKIE, A GIANT WALKING CHOCOLATE STALLION!"
Pinkies eyes widen in excitement as she yells,
"CHOCOLATE STALLION!!! MINE!!!"
Before dropping the punch (somehow not breaking it) and runs off in the direction Nightshade pointed at. Nightshade signs in relief, but then she begins to panic as she thinks,
Oh buck this is not good! Things have gotten completely outta hoof! I wanted to get a few mares to like Daddy for revenge, not the whole bucking town! There's gotta be some way to fix this... *ding*
A light bulb appears above Nightshade as she thinks,
I got it! If the first drink makes them fall in love with Daddy, then obviously a second drink will make them fall out of love with him! My logic is flawless!
With that thought in mind Nightshade sees Rainbow and Applejack catching up with her Daddy (who is making a second run around this block). With a smile Nightshade aims for their mouths as she yells...
-AppleDash becomes canon and they start making out (resulting in you having a big nosebleed)
"Open wide!"
As she hurls the punch bowl at the mares and it shatters against them, soaking them in the punch. They shake off the punch before they open their eyes and see each other causing hearts to appear.
"Applejack?" Rainbow asks.
"Yah Rainbow?" Applejack responds dreamily.
"Will you be my very special somepony?"
"Eeyup."
This is enough to (very) briefly snap everypony out of it in shock (and Bugze to shout "I BUCKING KNEW IT!") as they continue.
"You're my orange, field-plowing, Applejacky pie." Rainbow says.
"And you're mah well-toned, high-flyin, Rainbow, wonderbolty." Applejack says.
*sprong* "SHUT UP AND GIVE ME SOME CINNAMON YA WONDERFUL HICK!"
With that, Rainbow Dash and Applejack grab each other tightly and start fiercely making out, their bodies still moist with punch making their manes and fur cling to their bodies and showing off their curves as their hooves-
*SPURT*
-And naturally this display gives Bugze (and quite a few nearby non-love-potioned stallions) a massive nosebleed that launches him high into the air. Nightshade just blinks in shock before saying,
"Well... that didn't work..."
Nightshade then notices that the whole town has gone crazy. Ponies are running over other ponies just trying to get to her Daddy! Remembering what her daddy would do she says,
"Buck this! I'm outta here!"
With that said, Nightshade starts to make a run for it when she sees...
-Big Red barrels through the brawling mares while dragging a house -Nightshade awkwardly chatting with Berry Punch in a dragged house
Big Red tearing through the brawling lovers while dragging a house. She stares at this in shock for moment before she gets a great idea. She runs over to the house and jumps in one of the windows. When she looks up she sees Berry Punch hastily putting away a bottle of wine.
"Oh... hiya Miss Punch." Nightshade says awkwardly.
"Oh... hello Nightshade sweetie. Hows your day been?"
"Oh you know... good..."
They both stand there in awkward silence for a few moments as the love chaos goes on around the house.
"Yes that's very good... so ahem hows that weather huh?" Berry says, breaking the silence.
"It's been very...pink lately to be honest"
"Oh that happens every Hearts and Hooves day. Princess Cadance finds it more romantic to be a pink sky rather a blue one for this day."
"That...makes no sense at all..."
"Hehehehhe...yeah I know."
They both chuckle before Nightshade looks out the window and says,
"Oh this is my stop! Bye Miss Punch!"
"Bye Nightshade sweetie." Berry says as she retrieves the bottle of wine, "Stay safe! And if you see my Pina Colada tell her to kick any suspicious stallions approaching her in the nards!"
"My daddy tells me the same thing!" Nightshade yells as she jumps out the house as Big Red passes the library and calls out,
"Falcon Kick!"
Using her flame-covered hoof to smash through a window, Nightshade tumbles around on the ground before eventually hitting a bookshelf causing some books to fall on her. After awhile they she pops out of the books while proclaiming,
"I LIVE!"
"NIGHTSHADE!" the CMC and Spike cry out happily.
"GIRLS! SPIKE!"
As the CMC (and Spike) hug each other, Nightshade looks out the window in worry as she says,
"I hope my Daddy's okay-"
*CRASH*
POV CHANGE: BUGZE (YOU)
A hoard of crazed mares and stallions chasing you, you teleport away and find yourself in the library. You quickly rush to close the curtains and lock the door when suddenly you realize that you're not alone in the house. You turn around to see... the CMC and Nightshade huddled in a corner in the fetal position.
*CRASH*
After nosebleed-blasting off to the other side of town, you crash into the library through the upper window and tumble down the stairs before hitting a shelf.
"Ow..." You moan as you groggily get back up and...
Girls?" you ask. They look up to see you, joy breaking out on their faces. "Mr. Tennant!" Apple Bloom cries. "We're so glad to see y'ah! We thought y'ah'd be a gonnar!"
"Girls, how long have you been in here?" you ask.
"We hid in here ever since Pinkie started passing out the punch," Sweetie Belle explains. "When things started going south, we ran into the library."
"And Nightshade got here by hitching a ride on Berry Punch's house that was being dragged by Big Macintosh. I'm really glad we didn't burn this place down," Scootaloo adds.
Spike nods his head as he says,
"I've been here as soon as Flash and Twilight got infected, when I found the girls here I decided to help board up the place so they wouldn't get in. If any of those crazy ponies got in I was gonna whack them with some of the books here and give the girls enough time to escape."
You nod your head at speak with pride as you say,
"Good job Spike, and I'm glad you were willy to sacrifice yourself to let them get away. It means alot for me."
Spike rubs his head in embarrassment as Nightshade looks at you guiltily.
"...I'm sorry, daddy," she says. "I overheard that you burnt all the letters that the colts sent me, so I thought I'd get you back, but... I didn't expect this..."
You stare at Nightshade for a full three seconds before bursting out laughing.
"Aha ha ha ha!" you laugh hysterically. "Aha ha! Oh, Nightshade that has got to be the second-best prank I've ever seen pulled. Oh, that was a good one."
Nightshade brightens up,
"You really think so, daddy?"
"Nightshade, I am incredibly proud of you," you smile. The two of you hug.
"...You do realize you're SO grounded, right?" you say in a matter-of-fact-tone
"Yeah..." Nightshade answers.
Invigorated by a hearty laugh, you now feel ready to tackle the problem of the errant mares. "Applebloom, give me the book you got the love potion recipe from," you order.
After Nigthshade hoofs you the book, you skim through it...
"Let's see... causes insomnia... 'do not try this at home'... Aha! The love potion wears off if the affected doesn't look into the eyes of their target for at least an hour... Oh buck, There's almost no doubt that the affected ponies will find us within an hour. We're dead meat."
"Then... what do we do?" Sweetie Belle asks.
"Simple. We find another way to get rid of the potion's effects," you say. "How about you round up the mob and get them in front of the Ponyville Town Hall." You hear glass breaking and the sound of hoofsteps as you add, "And do it fast! It sounds like they've broken in!" before teleporting away.
You arrive atop the Ponyville Town Hall and remove the Power Glove from the Inventory. Donning the glove, you look out over the town square to see Nightshade, Spike and the CMC luring the mob before you with pictures of you,
"Alright everyone! Listen up!" you cry. No one hears you.
With a growl, you heft the power glove to the sky,
"Would you kindly PAY ATTENTION TO MY LIGHT!" you scream as you activate the Electro Bolt plasmid and shoot off a bolt into a cloud which causes it to thunder loudly, gaining everypony's attention.
"Alright everypony, listen up!" you cry in the Royal Canterlot Voice. "I have had it up to HERE with the bucking holiday, and let me tell you, I have had enough! Now everyone stop and listen to me right now. LEAVE ME ALONE!!! I don't need a marefriend, I don't want a special somepony, and certainly don't need society bucking telling me that I bucking do! You!" you scream at the clustered group of your stalker mares (Aloe, Vinyl, and Octavia).
"I have had enough of your incessant need to throw yourself at me. There are many ways to develop a relationship with a colt, and following them around endlessly is not one of them! Listen, you are all beautiful mares, and if I could see the side of your personality that wasn't constantly throwing itself at me, then I'm sure it'd be pretty nice too. But enough is bucking enough! Respect my boundaries and back the buck off! And you!" you scream at the CMC and Nightshade.
"And this goes out to all the rest of you too! Some of us don't need a special somepony! Some of us would rather be alone! It's not your responsibility to ensure that everyone has a match whether they like it or not! Learn to leave us the buck alone! And as for everyone, would you just STOP BEING HYPNOTIZED!!!"
You punctuate your statement by releasing all the crows to the winds (with a whispered "Would you kindly crow... Yeah I need to find Insect Swarm cause it's REALLY hard to think up of crow puns..."). They give a loud, simultaneous caw before dispersing out from the town.
You finish screaming at the mob of ponies, and silence hangs heavy over the town.
It didn't work. Selena bluntly says.
How do you know?
Because magic doesn't work like that. The enchantment needs-
Rainbow Dash, seemingly out of love with Applejack and now in love with you again, bolts into the air,
"Kiss me, Husbando!"
"GAH!" you scream as you step back, and your foot falls through a hole in the ceiling. Your weight breaks it open, and you fall all the way down to floor.
Are you still alive? Selena asks in concern.
"Who's in charge of repairing this place?!" you mutter out loud.
I'll take that as a yes. As I was saying, the enchantment needs to be broken. When a spell binds two ponies together, separation can weaken that bond, but you are not tied to the mares outside. More extreme measures are needed...
The door opens, and the CMC and Spike charge in.
"Daddy, are you OK?!"
"HUSBANDO!" The mob screams and surges forward.
You struggle to your feet and yell,
"Close it! Close it! Close it! Close it!"
Flash Sentry flies through the door before it closes, but Scootaloo stick out a leg and trips him up, destablizing him and causing him to crash into the ground, causing his guitar case to slides over to you.
"Extreme measures, huh?" you comment before opening the case (ignoring the weapons and armor inside) and pick up his guitar as the CMC and Spike struggle to hold the door closed. You raise it to smash it against the floor when suddenly Flash's eyes turn from love to rage in a heartbeat, and he tackles you,
"You son-of-a-diamond-dog! I'll smash your teeth down your throat for even trying to do that!"
"Glad to see you too buddy..." you choke out.
A bang on the windows draws your attention. The two of you look over to see Aloe pounding on the glass with her mudbending.
"He stole him! The orange pegasus stole him from me!"
Flash blinks,
"What? Oh." He looks down at you and you up at him before he says, "This can't be happening..."
The shouts outside take on a new form.
"KILL THE HUSBANDO-STEALER!"
"Oh, come on!" Flash moans.
Welcome to our world. you and Selena comment as you stand up again and shout,
"Nightshade! Everyling! Out the back! Now!"
As you and the other's run for the door, you see Spike trip on a floor board. You quickly turn around and grab him just as the door is busted open.
Flash grabs his case and follows the fillies, you bringing up the rear just as the windows and doors break. Mayor Mare dashes in front of the others as they chase you.
"You belong with me! Everyone can see it!" she screams.
You and Flash slam the back door shut in her face, and you hear her hit the ground on the other side. You turn to Flash with a smirk,
You peer your head around the corner for any signs of them. After seeing that none of them are in the area, you motion to your group to move forward. You stay back as you watch Flash, Spike, the CMC, and your daughter cross over to the next ally. You quickly follow behind them, just in time as a crowd of them just ran by. Spike sighs in relief as he asks,
"Okay, so we managed to get away from the town hall and we managed to distract them long enough to get far away from them, but now what do we do?"
Apple Bloom breaths deeply before saying,
"A'h think we need to find someplace safe first. An ally in the middle of town ain't actually love-zombie proof."
Scootaloo raises her hoof into the air as she says,
"I second that!"
You nod you head at them as you say,
"I agree, and luckily I know the best place to hide out for now. We just need to get to Sweet Apple Acres, then we can hide out in the Cutie Mark Crusader's clubhouse to think up a plan."
Sweetie nods her head at your idea, but then gets a confused look as she asks,
"But... how are we supposed to get there? The whole town is infested by love-zombies out for Mister Tennent's bloo-er heart. How are we gonna get past all of them?"
You put on your thinking face at this as you say,
"Well, if these were actual zombies we could cover ourselves in their guts and walk slowly by them and they wouldn't notice us. But since these are just love-sick ponies we can't do that since... well since it's murder and I don't wanna kill anypony... Again..."
Your eyes flash sadness and guilt for a second before it disappears as you say,
"I could teleport us there, but with my luck we would end up on the moon (or in her bathroom) rather than the girls' club house. If only Sweetie could teleport. Oh well I guess we can run for it. How long do you think it is from here to the cu-"
"Ahem."
You stop your rambling as you look over to Flash (who interrupted you) and ask,
"Ya Flash, you got an idea?"
He simply gives you a blank look as he points towards a...
Time to do what ever show eventually does... TO THE SEWERS!!!
Sewer cover...
"Please don't tell me we have to-"
Flash interrupts you with a sigh before he says,
"Sadly, yes. I studied the layout of Ponyville before I came here-uh... for a research project back at Canterlot."
He quickly blurts out a excuse after you looked at him suspiciously for studying Ponyville. Even though you suspect it's a lie, you let it slide as you say,
"That's interesting, but how does that help us get to the apple orchard?"
Flag smiles as he says,
"There's a sewer tunnel that passes right by the field and to an outhouse just at the edge of it. We can get there without being seen, but we will mostly likely smell for a few months."
You, the CMC, Nightshade, and Spike look at him blankly before you just sigh and say,
"Ugh... Okay. We'll take the sewers. Ohhhh this is gonna suck..."
With that said, Flash and Spike lift the sewer cover as you and your group head down into the sewers...
ONE DISGUSTING SEWER TRIP LATER
You gasp for air as you get out of the outhouse. You run away from it as you breathe in the air while thinking,
Oh sweet sweet not-smelling-disgusting air. Never leave me again.
You look behind you to see that the rest of the group has gotten out of the sewer. Luckily, the sewer levels weren't that high, so the only thing covered in sewage for you and your group is your hooves. As soon as everyling has gotten a fresh breath of clean air, you all head towards the club house with Apple Bloom leading the way (you decline leading since your sense of direction sucks and you'd get everyling lost even if you'd already been there before).
After hosing off your hooves in the clubhouse, you say/ask,
"Okay. We got a town full of love-zombies closing in around us and the book doesn't have any useful quick way to un-love them. Basically what I'm saying is that we need a plan and FAST. Anypony got any ideas?"
There are a few moments of silence as you all think before Scootaloo excitedly breaks it.
"I got a great idea!"
"Great, let's hear... it?"
You look to where Scootaloo was, but see that she's gone. You're about to go after her when Flash reminds,
"Don't worry Mr. Tennant. The love-zombies are only after you so she'll be fine."
"Oh, oka- Wait a minute. If the love-zombies are only after me, why did the rest of you follow me into the sewer?"
The other ponies in the room go wide-eyed in realization before Spike says,
"I... guess it was the heat of the moment?" causing the rest of the ponies all sheepishly look at their hooves at their past stupidity.
"Anyway... Ideas. Need. Now. Go." you say.
You begin to think about what you could do to evade the loveocalypse "Damn, they are going to trap me... What can I do?" Ask Bugzee "Buck them all?" Ask Nightshade "I will not hit them, they are not evil" Say Bugzee
-Clobber everypony?: Seeing how 50 Shades of Hay is a best-selling novel about to be turned into an Applewood movie, that would probably only end up making them lust after you more.
"Well, if ya don't want them in love with ya, why don't ya just just buck em all?" Apple Bloom asks.
"Woah woah woah! I'm saving it for marriage! Besides, I don't think even an alicorn would have enough stamina to satisfy-*smack*"
Flash smacks you upside the head with a glare before you rub the back of your head and ask,
"What? Oh... That kind of bucking..." you say in sheepish realization.
Flash rolls his eyes (while Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Nightshade, and Spike look in confusion) before Nightshade says,
"Yeah, why not just clobber everypony? You've done it several times bef-"
I concur. We should apply repeated blunt force trauma to every mare-
"They're not in their right minds so I'm not hurting them." you cut off Nightshade and Selena before they can say anymore, "Besides, with 50 Shades of Hay being a bestselling-novel-turned-Applewood-hit, beating up everypony would probably just make them lust after me more..."
As Flash smirks at your joke that goes over the heads of the foals while Sweetie Belle suggests,
"Uh, Maybe you could teleport?"
"My teleport spell is WAY too unreliable." you counter, "With my luck we'll all be teleported into a volcano."
"I know!!! I'll send a letter to Princess Celestia, she could help us!" Spike suddenly shouts as he takes a quill, writes a letter in record time, and sends it with his fire, but in a couple of seconds it's returned.
"Darn... I forgot, Celestia has a 'special tradition' every Hearts and Hooves Day and can't be contacted..." Spike remembers.
MEANWHILE IN CANTERLOT
"Come in..."
On that command, half a dozen strapping stallions with oiled-muscles and black bowties enter the Royal quarters as Princess Celestia lies on her bed.
"You know what to do..." Celestia says licking her lips.
On que, the stallions put down the HUGE heart-shaped box that they're carrying (psych!) and place it on the ground before Celestia's bed.
Celestia's usual "Hearts and Hooves Day" tradition is being given a HUGE heart-shaped box of chocolate (except with cakes made in the shapes/flavors of chocolates instead of chocolates in each compartment)
"Thank you my little ponies. You may leave."
With a nod, the stallions leave Celestia's chambers as the solar monarch levitates the lid off the large box, revealing chocolate-frosted cakes of various shapes, textures, and fillings in each compartment.
Wait, if they're all searching for Baker Sylvester Tennant, I can just take off my clothes and hide as a changeling or as the hooded offender!
Bad idea. You have a Royal Guard lieutenant, a baby dragon who communicates directly with the false sun goddess, and an earth pony who has personal reasons to hate the Hooded Offender and changeling aspects of your being. Selena points out.
Dang... If only there was somepony we could ask for help, somepony that knew all about love and love bi-products, maybe a certain princes-
*Ding*
"I know!" you proclaim, "Tom! What do we do!?" you asked a giant bolder that just happened to be lying just outside the clubhouse window.
...
Unfortunately, Tom is incapable of verbal communication... and also a giant rock.
"Well fine, be that way." you turn away indignantly in a huff, "Let's see if I have your back the next time you're in a fix. Now I need to think of somepony else that can-"
*Ding*
"Princess Cadance! Of course! Spike, write a letter to Cadance!"
"Sorry, but I can only send letters to Celestia and even then it's because of some super very hard ritual... or that is what Twilight told me." Spike explains,
"Horseapples..." you groan, ”If only we had another way of contacting Cadance- *ding*"
All these 'dings' are starting to make me feel like a pinball machine...
You grab a pen and crayon on a nearby table and rapidly start to write. As you write, the group gives you confused faces as Flash asks,
"Uh, what are you doing Mister Tennant?"
You give an annoyed grunt as you say,
"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm writing a letter."
"How's a letter going to help us snap everypony outta their obsession with you?"
You smirk slightly as you say,
"It's not the letter that's gonna help us..."
You put your finished letter into the canister Cadence sent you before casting a teleport spell on it. You hear a *pop* as well as see the canister disappear which means the letter has been sent.
"It's the pony that's gonna read it that's gonna help us."
...
"Why you write it in such a hurry? It's probably all sloppy with errors and mis-spellings too."
You eye twitches at Sweetie's remark as you say in annoyance,
"Hey! Those love zombies can find us at any moment, so I had to hurry Miss. Grammar Fascist."
...
"What's a Fascist?" Sweetie asks.
"What's a Grammar?" Nightshade asks.
You facehoof at Sweetie and Nightshade's questions as you think,
Cadence, please hurry up and read the letter.
WINSOME FALLS
Meanwhile in a luxurious camp located in scenic Winsome Falls, Cadence is sitting on hill under a shady tree enjoying the view while she waits for Shining to return with their lunch. Then, a letter arrives interrupting the peace and tranquility for something a bit more urgent. Obviously Cadence opens the letter, only to find a few disjointed sentence fragments hastily written in crayon that read:
Love poison! Ponyville go crazy! HALP!
Bugze
At last! Cadence thinks to herself, This is the moment I've been waiting for, a chance to show my aunties that I'm not just some disposable pushover. There's a love crisis; something specifically for me to deal with, and on my favorite day of all days! Look out Ponyville, here comes Princess Mi amore Cadenz-
"Hey honey..." Shining's voice interrupts seductively, "Like what you see?"
She turns around to see Shining standing there holding a box of fried chocolates and a bouquet of flowers... and wearing mares' lingerie with a black bow-tie,
"I thought I'd give you a little something extra special for Hearts and Hooves day this year."
You smile at the familiar robotic tone as the canister appears before you. You smile widely as you pull out the letter and read it...
Sorry Bugze, having fun with the husband. Good luck with the love poison thing.
...
"BUUUUUUUCCCC-!"
Your cry of anger is cut short as Flash covers your mouth as he hisses,
"Quiet! You'll attract every love-zombie in the area if you yell like that!"
You nod your head as Flash removes his hoof from your mouth but before you can say anything, Sweetie Belle says,
-BURN EVERYTHING: Very tempting... but no.
"We could burn down Ponyville, I mean this is everypony's home so if we burn it down, everypony will hate you and they should be cured, right?" You stare at Sweetie for a few seconds before you start to mumble,
"Yes... Sweet fiery blaze, burning all the wood to ash. Bright, orange and red cleansing the poison as it clings onto all it touches. So pretty, so beautiful, so pure. Hearing the wood scream in agony as it is consumed by magnificent cleansing flam-*cough* sorry."
You stop your pyro ranting as you notice everyling is giving you freaked out looks, so you decide to cover it up by saying,
"Sorry Sweetie, even though that idea is beautifully brilliant, I can't go through with it cause your sister, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and the rest of the town will kill me as soon as they put out the flames... Assuming they don't throw me into the fire first..."
"Can't we just wait here?" Spike asks,
"Because... " you're about to argue when you suddenly agree, "Yeah, you're right. Since we're at the edge of Sweet Apple Acres, nopony will find us-"
*crash*
Suddenly Sunshower Raindrops crashes through the ceiling of the clubhouse. When the dust settles, she gets up with hearts in her eyes as she screams,
"HUSBANDO-*pow*"
"Falcon Kick!"
Fortunately, Nightshade punts the pegasus out the hole she made in the ceiling.
"At this rate, the rest won't be too far behind." Flash comments.
You can't help but sigh in defeat as you say,
"You guys got any more ideas cause I'm ou-"
Notice that the Pink "Lover's Jewel" Necklace is glowing in the Inventory
You stop when you feel a tingling sensation from the Inventory. As the others throw around more ideas between themselves, you look into the Inventory to see that the Lover’s Jewel Necklace is glowing. Even through it's bottomless, you still manage to see it...somehow, so you can't help but think,
What the? Why is the Lovers jewel glowing? Oh! Maybe it's because it's Heart's and Hooves d-
"Hey guys! I'm back."
You stop your thoughts and smile at Scootaloo's voice as you turn around and see...
You look to the door, and your heart sinks in your chest...
Colts!
Over a dozen colts follow Scootaloo into the clubhouse, a few (including Rumble and Button Mash) give you the evil eye.
Nightshade clears her throat,
"Scoot? What the BUCK are you thinking?!"
Flash laughs,
"We have an army of our own, now! That's what she's thinking!" He pushes you forward. "Well? Motivate your troops."
"Do what now?"
"We're outnumbered with just about every mare in town wanting a piece of your flank, and now we've got some numbers of out own. Give them the speech from Hurricane!"
"From what?" you ask in confusion.
"How do you not know-?! Whatever." Flash digs around in his guitar case and pulls out an Equestrian flag. "Here, hold this behind me."
"Why?"
"You really don't know this scene? It's from the greatest war movie ever made!"
"Doesn't matter!" Flash drapes a leg over your shoulders. "I have the greatest plan ever."
You hold your hoof up as you say,
"Wait before you do, I gotta say something."
Flash looks at you in confusion, but shrugs as he backs up. You smile as you look back at the colts (which you now see as soldiers and not daughter-stealers... at the moment) and say,
"Listen up!" You bark as you pace in front of the army of Colts like a drill sergeant,
"In the Lovepocolypse, there are many dangers. There's screamers, huggers, stalkers, husband-stealer haters, fillyfoolers, and insanely tough and fast ones... Which are pretty much all of them. Which is why I will be teaching you about one of high school's most notorious inventions: Stink Bombs."
Smoke Bomb Recipe Taught.
"Use these bad boys only for emergencies. Alright, Colts! Get into groups of three, and if you have extra or less, than that's fine, but you better be ready to rock! Now let's go!"
Ear shattering cheers shake the Clubhouse.
"Oh, and one more thing" you add as you slap your ear to regain your hearing, "Don't try to be an Old Bill and sacrifice yourselves. Your parents will kill me. Oh! Also, make sure you're shouting 'delete' as you destroy stuff, okay?"
All the colts nod their heads as they salute and shout-chant,
"THIS IS THE WORST PLAN EVER!" you scream as you sprint through the streets of Ponyville, chased by the crazed mob. While Flash's plan is working (as evidenced by several ponies crying over smashed treasured possessions... Note to self: Send them anonymous apology cards later), the lustful mob is still very large. Suddenly you feel a lasso around you and your yanked into an alley as you hear Rainbow Dash yell,
"HE WENT THAT WAY!!! FOLLOW ME!!!"
You open your eyes and see Rainbow Dash leading the mob away.
You give a sigh of relief as the love mob runs by. You turn around and can't help but smile as you say,
"Thanks dude. If you didn't lasso me in here who knows what would have happen."
"No problem... Sugarcube."
Your eyes widen as they recognize the voice, but before you can do anything, Applejack grabs your head, pulls down your scarf and face mask, and roughly kisses you. You taste apples in her kiss, but with a small flavor of cinnamo-
NO! BAD BUG!
You manage to pry yourself away and exclaim,
"Oh Buck!"
You begin to back away from the love sick farmpony, only to bump into something... fluffy? You slowly turn your head in terror to see what you bumped into only for another pair of hooves to grab your head and pull you into another pair of lips. This time you taste the hot rainbows they make in the weather factory (long story involving Grandbuggy, a mission to Cloudsdale, and some counterfeit hairpins), but at a temperature that felt just rig-
NO! FOCUS!!!
Again, you manage to break away and see it's Rainbow Dash with her wings stiff and pulsing again as she says,
"Hey there hot stuff, miss me?"
You jump away from the smitten Pegasus as you shout,
"DOUBLE BUCK!"
You look back and forth between the two heart-eyed ponies, but you soon realize that you’re trapped between a hick and a rainbow. You gulp in fear as they both slowly walk toward you, cornering you against the wall as they begin to speak one after each other, starting with Applejack,
"So Mister Tennant..."
"You must be tired after all that running..."
"Maybe ya should lay down and rest..."
"While we have a go around your..."
"Most important..."
They then say at the same time
"Tool."
*spurt*
You begin to shake in a combination of terror and guilty excitement as your nose bleeds, but you get a great idea! You smirk slightly as you look at Applejack and say...
“Hey Applejack, I choose Rainbow over you!”
“That’s OK sugarcube, whatever you want...”
“Heck ya!” shouts Rainbow.
“Say what now?” you ask taken aback.
“We’ve come to realize we both love you and each other, so all three of us will have each other forever!” Rainbow shouts.
“Yeah, we’re gonna need a bigger and stronger bed for all the nightly rodeos...” smirks Applejack with a lustful wink.
*SPURT*
Fortunately, a huge burst of blood from your nose launches you out of the alley and into another part of town. As you get back up, Selena comments,
That's strange...
What is? you think as you put your face mask and scarf back on.
Normally the love potion turns it's victims into imbeciles who do nothing but babble disgusting nicknames for each other, but the hick and the fiillyfooler were able to form coherent sentences and think of tactics.
Hmm... Maybe the fact that Nightshade mixed it with punch cut down the effect of the po- whoa...
Unfortunately, you've lost a lot of blood through nosebleeds and feel very light headed and woozy as you start to stumble. With the last of your consciousness, you manage to think of a plan and yell,
"TENNANT NEEDS OJ BADLY!!!"
"Here ya go!"
Just as planned, Pinkie Pie suddenly appears with 2 gallons of orange juice. You grab the gallons from her before chugging down the citrus-y goodness. Before you can thank her, you notice she's gone. You're about to question this when you hear,
"HUSBANDO!!!"
"GAH! How did they find me?" you yell in panic as you start to run.
Perhaps it was their collective deductive genius... or the fact that you just SHOUTED A REQUEST FOR CITRUS NECTAR!
"Not the time!" you counter as you continue to run, but as you look behind you, you see that the love-zombies are gaining on you (even worse now that Rainbow Dash and Applejack are rejoining the mob)! You start to gallop even faster as...
You look up to see Rumble flying overhead dropping a framed picture. You catch it and see it's an picture of Rainbow Dash with the Wonderbolts, autographed by Spitfire herself.
Oh... Such a waste of a good autograph... you think as you hurl the picture at the nearest wall.
Suddenly a rainbow blur shoots by you and catches it. You see Rainbow lying on the ground, inspecting the frame for damage before she holds it to her chest and sighs,
I wanted to see it shatter. Crushing the fillyfooler's happ-
"Flower bed on the left!"
Selena's sadistic rambling is cut short by Spike's outburst as he leans out of an alley way and tosses a lit Molotov Cocktail to you. In one fluid motion (that you still can't believe you pulled off), you leap, catch the lit bottle, and hurl it onto a stone pathway on your left, settling the flowers on fire.
"No! Get the flames out! Get them out!"
You look back and see the Flower Trio snapping out of the love potion and dumping water on the fire.
The chase takes you past the Carousel Boutique, and you spot three dressed-up mannequins outside. You bump into them causing them to tip over towards a mud puddle, but you hear Rarity shriek, and a blue aura catches them.
Hey, she actually put her heart and soul into making those. That was just mean. What kind of lowlife would try to-pfft HA HA HA! Sorry! I couldn't say it with a straight face! More! MORE!
Flash glides next to you and says with a smirk,
"Ready for a break yet?"
"THE BUCK DO YOU THINK?!"
He chuckles and grabs you, taking you up into the sky. More colts jump out of hiding and throw smoke/stink bombs into the crowd to blind them.
Oh, come on! You can keep going! I want to see the Solar Monarch’s pawns cry over their smashed treasures...
Flash carries you to a rooftop to rest,
"We've got the rest of the teams still searching for valuables. We'll be ready for phase 2 whenever you are."
As you catch your breath, you suddenly hear the sound of heavy robotic stomps. You and Flash look in the direction they're coming from and see...
Two groups of colts wearing pots on their heads and trash bin tops tied to their hooves with mini water guns taped to one of their hooves. As they near a group of love zombies, they suddenly stop and point the water guns at the group as they all say in a robotic tone,
"You shall be deleted!"
And with that they fire their water guns at the mob driving then back into a store, which the colts then block the door with some random stuff. The colts see you and give you a salute (this kind with their hooves over their chest) before they continue to walk down a street while chanting,
"Delete. Delete. Delete. Delete."
You and Flash stare in awe at what you both just witness, before you give a sniffle of nerdy pride as you say,
"That...that was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."
Flash has his own sniff of pride as he nods his head and says,
"I... I wish I had my camera."
Before you and Flash can continue your worshiping of what just happened, you both hear... crying? You and Flash share a look of confusion as you both look towards where it's coming from and see...
"I don't know. Although she doesn't seem love sick, she seemed... heartbroken. Maybe we have a survivor here."
With that Flash fly's you down to the ground near the weeping mare. As he begins to walk towards her (without you noticing), you can't help but comment
"...Are we even sure? I mean, zombie game instincts says otherwise."
But, so soon begin to realize that the mare’s blue coat and pink mane looks familiar...
Too late, Flash Sentry approached her to give some comfort when the mare suddenly tackles him and angrily screams,
"Husbano Stealer!" as she jumps into the air and performs a spinning piledriver on Flash, smashing him into the bench. Recognizing the accent you blurt out,
"Lotus?!"
Suddenly Lotus whips her head up from the fallen Pegasus with hearts in her eyes as she cries out in happiness,
"Husbano!"
It was a double trouble way of alerting your location.
I am so bucked...
Suddenly, an old stallion appeared out of nowhere screaming,
"My love!" as he comes in for a face hug as you scream frozen in horror.
"Falcon Kick!"
Luckily, Nightshade (also out of nowhere) Falcon kicked him in the nuts before it did.
"Thanks honey" you say, "Normally I don't advocate violence against the elderly, but maybe I'll cut down your grounding time."
Before Nightshade could reply, you both see more love-zombies incoming.
"Better run daddy!" Nightshade yells before darting off and you follow suit in the opposite direction.
"Why again?! Why?!" Still, you found yourselves running away from a Horde of Lovesick Zombies. "Holy buck, Holy buck, holy buck buck buck! Buck me!"
"YES!!! BUCK HUSBANDO!!!" cried the mob.
"No! I didn't mean it like that you idiots!"
"YEAH!!!"
You risk a look back and see Bulk "Snowflake" Biceps barreling through the mob with hearts in his eyes,
Ohh... Of all the ponies in this bucking town, why does HE have to be the bucking tank?! Honestly, how do you make a love-zombified juggernaut like him hate me?!
You start to double time it and the sound of your cyber-colts breaking stuff does help make the mob a little smaller, but you soon begin to tire out. You look up just in time to see Flash coming towards via the air. You smile in joy at about to be saved from the mob again, when...
Twilight decides to teleport inside. "KILL THE HUSBANDO/WAIFU/WHATEVERTHEBUCKITISTHEREDAYS!" You and Flash scream "BUCK THIS" and crash out the nearest window.
You see a purple flash above him! Your eyes widen in terror as you see Twilight appear right above Flash! And before you can warn him, Twilight gives a crazed shout of,
"KILL THE HUSBANDO... WAIFU... WHATEVERTHEBUCKITISTHEREDAYS!!!"
The next thing you know, she tackles Flash in midair and sends him crashing into a nearby building! Your eyes start to tear up as you give a cry of,
"NOOOO! FLASH! YOU WERE SUCH A GOOD SOLIDER! WHY'D YOU HAVE TO GO OUT LIKE THAT! IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN RAINBOW! IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN RAIN-"
DING DONG, THE STEALER IS DEAD!!! WHICH STEALER? THE WAIFU-STEA-
"SHUT THE BUCK UP!!!" you and Selena scream at the annoying voices.
Before you can continue your shouts of sadness, you see the love-zombie mob catching up to you! Your eyes widen in terror as you see Bulk leading the charge and you try to sprint faster, but as you do you hear Applebloom shout,
"DODGE!"
Instincts kick in as you jump to the left, just in time as a...
While running through the streets to find more valuables to break, in the middle of the chaos, a jar filled with a strange red substance flies past you and shatters on a nearby wall. Turning your head to look at it, you see that the remains have reformed to create a bloody version of the words that have haunted you so far. THE NIGHTMARE COMES
A jar filled with cherry-flavored corn syrup sails past your head and shatters on a nearby wall. Turning your head to look at it, you see that the remains have reformed to create a bloody version of the words that have haunted you so far,
THE NIGHTMARE COMES
Your eye twitches in fear as you shout to the heavens,
"MOTHER OF LUNA NOOOOOO! GET AWAY FROM ME! WHAT DO YOU BUCKING MEAN!"
Unfortunately, this screaming gives the mob time to close in on you so when you snap out of it you think,
Well...there goes saving it for marriage. This is gonna suck... Maybe literally and I know Grandbuggy would say this is the best way to go NO! BAD BUG!!!
And with that thought you close your eyes and wait for the zombies to get you...
And wait...
And wait...
And wait...
Déjà vu much?
You open your eyes wondering why you're not being kissed, hugged, groped, and bucked to death and see...
Fluttershy using 'The Stare' to immobilize the whole mob.
“Wow, thanks Fluttershy I...” before using it on you. You get pinned down by Fluttershy's stare which is enhanced by the heart-eyes, and the look she's giving you is horrifying.
DEAR SWEET ME! AND HERE I THOUGHT THE PINK ONE WAS HORRIFYING! screams a terrified Selena.
“Fluttershy snap out of it!” you plead.
“Oh why would I do that?! I've wanted to do very naughty things to you for a long time, and now I finally will!"
Blood shoots out your nose as you notice her wings stiff and pulsing like the fillyfooler's as she slowly approaches you, but you gotta remain strong,
"F-Fluttershy, hold on a minute, you know I'm not exactly the best pony. Hay, I'm not even a actual po-"
"I don't care!" Fluttershy declares as she wraps her hooves around you, "I don't care that you're a murderer, I don't care that you're a changeling, YOU! ARE! MINE!!!"
“C’mon Fluttershy, I mean you're REALLY cute and sweet and good with Nightsh- Look, the point is REALLY think about this!”
“Oh I have thought about this for a long time.” She says as she pulls down your scarf and face mask, “Don’t worry, you can move in with me, I’ll help you raise Nightshade, and you can give me a baby, then MORE BABIES! Starting now!” she declares before kissing you with enough force to knock you both to the ground,
Oh dear Luna! Even sweet Fluttershy has fall... Woah, she's a GREAT kiss- NO!!! VERY BAD Bug...
Your resistance crumbles under Fluttershy's iron grip holding you in place and the power of her stare as your resistance starts to crumble. Fluttershy suddenly breaks off the kiss and says to you,
Lightning crashes behind her as she laughs manically, *snap* but you feel yourself get pushed back in your head as your eyes glow and Selena comes forth and roars,
“IN YOUR NIGHTMARES, B!$*#!!! *WHAM*” as she headbutts Fluttershy hard enough to send her smashing through the frozen ponies behind her like a bowling ball.
“Stupid cowardly strumpet, thinking she’ll steal MY daughter! I told you telling her about me was a bad idea! I have half a mind to disem-”
You manage to take back control before yelling,
“You didn't need to hit her! She’s not herself at the moment,” you look at the other ponies coming out of the effects of Fluttershy’s stare and coming at you as you put your scarf and face mask back up, “Noling is!”
After stopping to briefly coo over and make funny faces for the Cake babies (who you crash landed IN FRONT of), you rush out of the bakery and grab a glass of orange juice sitting on a table as you dash past it. After you down the OJ mid-run, you see Apple Bloom being chased by some cured ponies.
Looks like she got caught breaking their stuff...
Thinking quickly, you go back to a classic,
"LOOK, A DISTRACTION!"
As the ponies pursing Apple Bloom turn around, you quickly grab her and continue running (jumping over Scootaloo who zips by on her scooter) when...
Applejack bucks Flash through a window, causing the Pegasus to curse,
“Aggghhh Stupid Bucking Mud Pony!”
“WHOA! WHOA! WHOA!” you shout at him offended while covering Apple Bloom’s ears. “What the Buck!”
He realizes what he’s said and starts sweating nervously,
“NO NO NO! It’s because she’s covered in mud! It was the heat of the moment, I didn't mean it any other way, I swear!”
You just shake your head in shame at him as Apple Bloom takes this opportunity to distract Applejack with a smoke bomb.
“I’M NOT A SPECIEST! I’M NOT A SPECIEST I SWEAR!” he frantically tries to convince you. “Look- Woah.” he points to Aloe (who currently has Vinyl in a Jujutsu omoplata lock... and looking rather hot while doi- *spurt*) and says,
“See! That mare is hot! I don’t care that she’s an earth pony! I’d rut her any da-*bonk*!”
You bonk him upside the head as you say,
“First of all, snap out of it, we’ll deal with your irrational phobias later, and secondly, that is one of MY hot stalkers, get your own!”
“Yes, I AM HIS!” shouts Aloe as Vinyl continues to flail in Aloe's lock.
“In your dreams hussy!” Octavia yells before delivering a Karate kick to the masseuse's head, forcing her to let go of Vinyl.
Taking advantage of this distraction, you and Flash run off
Eventually you somehow managed to get yourself trapped at the Ponyville stage. You look around you in fear and panic as you see that everyling in Ponyville was here for your heart (besides those not infected or already cured). As you begin to think it's the end (again) you see Flash coming straight towards you (you both got separated after getting away from another hoard). He lands next to you exhausted as he says,
"There's... too many... of them! We can't break their stuff fast enough without two more popping up! We've already lost squads 2, 6, and 8 to the cured love zombies. Apparently they decided to break their parents stuff first."
You sigh as you ponder,
"Come on... there's gotta be some way to cure them all at once. But how..."*ding*!
You look at Flash in determination as you say,
"Flash, I've got a plan to snap everypony out at once. All we need is a microphone, your guitar, a drum-set and somepony who can play the drums."
"Oh Oh Oh! I know how to play the drums!"
You and Flash jump in shock as you both turn around to see...
Eventually your group teams up with Pinkie
Pinkie giving you a smile as she sits in front of a drum set that was not there before. As Flash tries to understand what's happening, you just nod your head (you'd wonder how she did it later, for now you've got your hind to save) as you say,
"Thank's Pinkie. Now both of you huddle up, here's the plan."
And with that you, Pinkie, and a still confused Flash huddle up together as you whisper your plan to them...
Smashing things aren't working fast enough! Use an anti-love musical number (with Flash on guitar) to break the spell.
Flash plugs his guitar into the set of microphones nearby as you pick up a mic that someling left on the ground after using duct tape to fix Pinkie's drumsticks. After smacking the mike a few times to make sure it worked, you motion for Pinkie and Flash to get into position. They nod their heads at you as they get ready to play, while all you can do is think,
What's better than breaking somelings stuff to make them fall outta love with you...
You then smirk slightly as you continue,
By playing a anti-love song for them of course!
With that you speak into the microphone,
"This song is dedicated to all you lovely mares and dashing stallions out there!"
The insane crowd roars as some of the love zombies begin to climb onto the stage. You quickly give the signal to Flash, to which he starts to play his guitar,
I wake up every evening With a big smile on my face. And it never feels out of place.
You give a big fake smile under your face mask and scarf. You know they can't see it, but it's the thought that counts. You then start to walk across the stage as you continue.
And you're still probably working At a nine to five pace. I wonder how bad that tastes?
Flash and Pinkie kick it up as you smile evilly as you sing right into the face of a few mares and stallions,
When you see my face Hope it gives you hell! Hope it gives you hell! When you walk my way Hope it gives you hell! Hope it gives you hell!
As soon as you finish singing that verse, the hearts in their eyes fade away as they look around in confusion. You smile smugly as you nod to your success before you continue to sing (the music now becoming softer).
Now where's your picket fence love? And where's that shiny cart? And did it ever get you far?
As you sing, you see Aloe and Octavia in the front of the row. You walk on over to them (as more hearts start to disappear around you),
You never seemed so tense love. I've never seen you fall so hard. Do you know where you are? And truth be told I miss you...
You're inches away from kissing Aloe (which causes Octavia's hearts to disappear) but you stop and smile cruelly as you sing,
And truth be told I'm lying!
You hear heart's shatter as Aloe returns to normal. You smile as you back up and continue to sing,
When you see my face, Hope it gives you hell! Hope it gives you hell!
When you walk my way, Hope it gives you hell! Hope it gives you hell!
If you find a stallion that's worth a dang and treats you well Then he's a fool you're just as well Hope it gives you hell! Hope it gives you hell!
Thousand's of hearts start to shatter as ponies around you begin to return to normal. You, Flash, and even Pinkie smile at this as you continue,
Tomorrow you'll be thinking to yourself, Where'd it all go wrong? But the list goes on and on...
Now you see Fluttershy and Vinyl, so deciding to risen and repeat you walk over to them as you sing,
And truth be told I miss you...
Your inches away from kissing Fluttershy (which causes Vinyl's hearts to disappear) but you stop and smile cruelly (again) as you sing,
And truth be told I'm lying!
You hear heart's shatter as Fluttershy returns to normal. You smile as you back up and continue to sing,
When you see my face Hope it gives you hell Hope it gives you hell!
When you walk my way Hope it gives you hell Hope it gives you hell!
When you find a stallion that's worth a dang and treats you well Then he's a fool, you're just as well Hope it gives you hell!
Soon almost half the crowd is cured, but you soon see Applejack walking towards you, still under the love poison's spell. You smile sadly and give false tears (one of the few things you actually managed to do right back at changeling school) as the music dies down to a sad tune as you sing sadly,
Now you'll never see What you've done to me You can take back your memories They're no good to me And here's all your lies...
Applejack's hearts begin to crack as you hold her head in your hooves and you make her look at you (gently of course) as you continue,
You can't look me in the eyes With the sad, sad look That you wear so well...
As Applejack's hearts shatter, you suddenly hear a whistle and you see all the heartbroken ponies from the ice cream shop marching up the stage while chanting,
When you see my face Hope it gives you hell! Hope it gives you hell!
When you walk my way Hope it gives you hell! Hope it gives you hell!
When you find a stallion that's worth a dang and treats you well Then he's a fool you're just as well Hope it gives you hell!
You smile at them as you wrap up the song,
When you see my face Hope it gives you hell! Hope it gives you hell!
When you walk my way Hope it gives you hell! Hope it gives you hell!
When you hear this song and you sing along but you never tell Then you're the fool, I'm just as well Hope it gives you hell!
When you hear this song I hope that it will give you hell
You can sing along I hope that it puts you through hell!
And with that final lyric, all the hearts shatter to pieces. You, Pinkie, and Flash hive hoof as all the ponies return to normal. As you, Flash, and Pinkie walk off the stage, you get surrounded by the colts, CMC, and Nightshade (along with the mares from the picnic and the rest of the Deadly Five), but as the ponies begin to regain their senses, the CMC realize something...
“Oh No! We forgot about Cheerilee and Big Mac!” cries Sweetie Belle.
“Well we were kind of running for our lives.” Scootaloo points out.
“Ya, but who knows what they got up to while this was going on...” says Apple Bloom.
“I’m sure they’re fine, they couldn't have gotten into that much trouble could they?” Nightshade comments.
TROUBLE...
Cheerilee wakes up next to Big Mac in a room wearing a wedding veil. Big Mac stirs awake too and sees he’s holding Cheerilee. They both feel physically exhausted and awkward as they realize they're in a wrecked room,
“Ummm... hi?” Cheerilee says awkwardly.
“Hi...” he answers awkwardly.
“Uh... Big Mac... did we...”
“He looks down at the wrecked bed and then back to her,
“Eyup.”
She looks at the wedding veil,
“Did we get...”
He looks at the hoof rings they’re both wearing,
“Eyup.”
“Oh... OK... How?”
“You both were hammered on something or another and got hitched by Mr. Waddles (after Nightshade kicked him of course). Since you were pulling my house for some reason, you kind of just confiscated my bedroom” says Berry Punch as she sits in an easy chair sipping a bottle of Jack Spaniels.
“How... long have you been sitting there?” Cheerilee asks hesitantly.
She takes a swig of the bottle,
“Since the beginning” she says with a smirk, “Nice show for a pair of amateurs.”
“Whelp... those girls are grounded” says Cheerilee.
“Eyup.”
BACK TO YOUR LOCATION
Ignoring the lost in thought CMC, Twilight holds her head in pain as she asks,
"Oooohhh, what happened? Last thing I remember was looking for the Cutie Mark Crusaders."
You chuckle slightly as you say,
"Don't worry Twilight. Me and Flash found them. As to what happened to you all, well you see..."
ONE EXPLANATION LATER
"...And then you ask me what happened and here we are."
The group of ponies nod their heads at the information (while Big Red and Cheerilee arrive on the seen as well, awkwardly not looking at each other) as Aloe asks,
"So... the whole reason why we turned into love zombies, as you called them, was because your daughter wanted to get revenge on you for burning her Heart's and Hooves day cards?"
As most of the mares present glare at you, you chuckle nervously as you say,
"Yes, and in my defense I was just defending my baby from heartbreak. I didn't want my sweet little girl to go through the stages of heartbreak, so I stomped out the seeds before they had a chance to bloom."
Just as you think your about to get away with that explanation, you hear Nightshade say,
"Still, it doesn't give you the right to butt into my love life Daddy! Even if I did have any interest in dating (which I don't since I'm not even 2) I should have the decision if I want to date somepony or not. Besides, they were just Heart's and Hooves day cards, so give it a break."
You sigh, trying to keep your anger in, as you say,
"Honey, you have to understand that this holiday brings nothing but bad news. Just today the Loveocalypse happened! You can't say that this holiday doesn't cause trouble!"
Nightshade growls as she yells,
"This problem wouldn't have happened if you DIDN'T BUCKING BURN ALL MY HEART'S AND HOOVES DAY CARDS! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO BUTT INTO MY LIFE!"
You growl as you shout back,
"I'M YOUR FATHER! IT'S MY JOB TO BUTT INTO YOUR LIFE! I'M JUST TRYING TO PROTECT YOU!"
Nightshade glares at you as she shouts back,
"PROTECTING ME DOESN'T MEAN RUINING ANY CHANCES OF BEING FRIENDS WITH COLTS BY ACTING LIKE A PSYCHO!"
"HONEY, IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICE YET I AM A BUCKING PSYCHOPATH WHEN IT COMES TO PROTECTING MY FAMILY!"
The crowd, who has grown bigger as the argument got larger, doesn't know if they should awww at this or cringe at the argument,
You growl even more as you shout,
"I DIDN'T TAKE ON ALICORNS, HYDRAS, TERRORISTS, AND BUCKING FILLYFOOLERS JUST TO LOSE YOU TO SOME PATHETIC COLT WHO CANT KEEP IT IN HIS PANTS!!"
Several mares cover the ears of their colts or fillies in scandalized shock as Nightshade has steam coming outta of her ears as she says,
"WHAT'S SO BUCKING BAD ABOUT DATING. WHAT, AM I GONNA GET HUMILIATED IN FRONT OF A BUNCH OF PONIES AND LAUGHED AT?!"
As soon as this is said, Big Mac (and anypony else that heard your story this morning) gasp in shock and you freeze in place as the memories of that night return to you as Applejack says,
"She's got a point Suga-Mister Tennant. Nothing like that will ever happen to her like tha-"
Your hatred of the holiday reaching it's peak, you *snap*
"THAT IS BUCKING IT!!! EVERYPONY BURNS!"
In a rage, you quickly tear upon your trenchcoat in a way that lights all the Fuse Bombs and Molotov Cocktails on our Potion Sash as you whip out the Power Glove which crackles with fiery lightning born from your rage. This causes the nearby ponies to gasp and recoil in shock and horror as you derangely yell,
"Go to your room honey cause DADDY'S 'BOUT TO GIVE EVERY MOTHERBUCKER IN THIS BUCKING TOWN A REASON TO HATE THIS BUCKING HOLIDA-*WHAM*"
Big Macintosh's hoof slams into your jaw knocking you out cold as your body falls on the Potion Sash extinguishing the flames. When everypony looks at him in shock he shrugs and says,
"He asked me ta knock him out."
"I've never seen a case of Cardiac-Breakus this bad." Quacksalver says as he examines your unconscious form (and by that we mean he's trying to jam a telescope into your ear)
"Cardio-what?" multiple ponies ask asks
"Cardiac-Breakus. A disease marked by torn cardiac muscles, elevated grump levels, a hatred for Hearts and Hooves Day, and suicidal killing sprees in it's most severe stages. Anypony remember the Hearts and Hooves Day Massacre?"
Several ponies gasp in shock until Twilight chimes in,
"Uh... That was actually the result of a gang war between feuding Manehattan crime families that just happened to occur on that day."
"Oh don't be silly Twibright-"
"Twilight."
"Yeah, sure, whatever. I already gave him the prescription so the next step is sedating this patient until the holiday is over so the ice cream can freeze his torn cardiac muscles back together and the chocolate sweetens his attitude nerves." Quacksalver says as he digs through his bag (throwing away a bloody rose and a empty bottle of whisky).
Just as your unconscious body is going to get picked up, Caramel (still under the love poison spell) jumps at you and shouts,
"HUSBANDO!"
But before he reaches you, your unconscious body instinctively yells...
Yell, "DELETED!" at the same time as you teleport one unfortunate pony somewhere far away (preferably someone trying to do you bodily harm).
"EXTERMINATE!!!" as you blasts Caramel and teleports him Luna-knows-where before going limp again.
LUNA-KNOWS-WHERE
We see Caramel holding on to a rock as he dangles above a volcano screaming,
"WHY DOES STUFF LIKE THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME?!!! I DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING!!!"
BACK TO PONYVILLE
"Um... I think I see Sassaflash in the distance and she doesn't look too happy..." Fluttershy says.
Big Mac gulps before quickly grabbing your body and making a run for your shack, with Nightshade right behind him...
A FEW HOURS LATER, NIGHTTIME
"Ugh... somepony get the number of that train..." you groggily say as you slowly open your eyes as you hold your head in pain. You feel as if you got hit by Discord, the Deadly Five, Lighting Chaser, and Solar Flanks at the same time. You groggily look around the area you're in and realize you're back in your shack cot. You also notice that Nightshade is adorably sleeping cuddled against you like a kitten to its mother. You stare sadly at her as you think,
Oh Luna...I can't believe I actually argued with her in public. That was our first big argument. I... I should apologies to her now.
With that thought in mind, you softly nudge Nightshade as you say,
"Nightshade... sweety... time to wake up."
Nightshade's eyes slowly open as she looks at you in confusion as she asks,
"Daddy...? What do you need?"
SnapDrakeGames comment
"Honey, listen... I'm sorry for yelling at you in public... And trying to burn down Ponyville... And burning your Hearts and Hooves Day cards." "Oh... Well I'm sorry for siccing all those ponies on you."
"...You know Nightshade," you say. "I think what I said about not butting into other ponies lives counts for me too. So tell you what. I won't butt into your love life if you don't butt into mine."
"Really Daddy?" Nightshade asks.
"When you're 18," you add.
"...Fair enough," Nightshade says causing you both to laugh.
"But out of all the ways you could have pranked me back. Why a love potion?"
"Well... Originally it wasn't a prank at all. I saw how sad you were about today and I thought getting you a mare would make you happy. Also I wanted a mommy..."
This causes Selena to become upset, and righteously so since she has never once directly interacted with her own daughter as she sadly says,
I suppose it’s natural, I haven’t exactly been the best mother... she’s never even spoken to me...
Feeling empathy for Selena, you decide to let Nightshade know the truth,
“Listen Honey, your mother is in my head.”
“I know, you remember her always, but I...”
“No, she’s literally in my head.”
W-What are you doing?!
“I... I don’t get it.” Nightshade says in confusion.
“Honey, I need you to go to sleep and come into my dreams, you remember how to do that?”
“I... I think so, Daddy what’s going on?”
“You’ll find out, here look at this honey, I’ll be with you shortly.”
With that, you use the Luna Plushie...
DREAMSCAPE
You “Wake up” in the dreamscape and see Selena, worry on her face as she asks,
“What are you doing?!”
“I’m letting my daughter see her mother.”
“But... I thought you didn't wish for her to know of me...”
“You’re upset, this is the answer. If there’s anypony who has the right to know, it’s her. Besides, here’s your chance to make a first impression.”
“Daddy?” asks Nightshade
"Hi Honey, there's someling I'd like you to meet."
Selena turns around and gulps. Just as Selena's about to say something to her daughter, you all hear a cold, distorted voice say,
"Well well well, looks like the whole fake family is here. Who would have thought the thing I despised most would get that food-hogging brat to meet her supervillain mommy."
You three all gasp in surprise at the voice as you all turn around and see...
A figure in a half-torn Nobody cloak (the back is torn off, while the hood is still attached) just like yours with eyes glowing bright yellow. And there's darkness coming off him. Not like your Nightmare cloak, just... shadow. He also has your Cutie Mark, but with the colors reversed. For some reason you fear this creature even though you don't know who or WHAT it is. You stare at this creature in fear and shock as you ask in fright,
"Wha... who are you?"
The look-alike chuckles darkly as he looks towards the as he says,
"Heheheheheh... just how dumb are you? Wait, don't answer that cause I already know the answer. Well, I guess I'll just tell you. You see..."
The figure throws back his hood to reveal... you?
Wait, not you. I mean he looks like you; a changeling with the same orange spiky hair and build you have, but with glowing yellow eyes. He stares at you intently with his bright yellow eyes as he continues,
"I'm you and you are me. We're one and the same, you and I. I'm your Shadow!"
You, Nightshade, and Selena stare at... Shadow You in shock as you think,
What... what is this!?
What do you do?
Episode 61: I Am Thou, Thou Art I, We're One Messed-up Family!
"That's right!", the twisted creature before you says in a distorted version of your voice, "I am your shadow, your true self. You are a fake, a facade, an empty shell. Now move aside and let your true self take his rightful place as-"
"Oh, come on!" you cry. interrupting him, "We're in the middle of something here, What kind of bug butts in on a family reunion?"
"I'm you." your shadow replies, "And you are the type of bug to butt in on a family reunion."
"Great." you mutter. "The gang's all here; My shadow self, my daughter, and my... daughter’s mother that's stuck in my head. Who's next, Bill Cipher?"
"NO! BUCK NO! THIS IS THE DREAMSCAPE, NOT THE MINDSCAPE. BUCK OFF!"
"Jeez, bugs, fine. Be that way." The dorito-shaped demon says in resigned annoyance before turning to leave, but he suddenly turns back and says,
"Oh, silly me, I almost forgot; I'm gonna being checking up on ya later. This 'The Nightmare Comes' thing that's been spreading around the mutliverse is too interesting to past up. And since you're in the middle of it, I might as well be there when it happens. Oh, and if any of you see a dragon-like mish-mash named Discord, tell him that putting googly eyes on triangle corn chips before eating them is NOT funny. Bye!"
As the little demon poofs away you can't help but think in horror,
The Nightmare Comes... all over the multiverse... linked to me... oh buck me! If this gets bucking Bill's attention, then something really bad must be happening! Wait... I just thought of something. Didn't this shadow guy just say...
With your random thought, you walk over to the Shadow being and say...
Walk up to him and say," Hey what's up Ling?" Selena says," Greetings, strange one" Nightshade says," Wow, now I have 2 daddy's!" Shadow Bugze," ..."
"Wait, if you are part of me...." you say as you pick up Shadow Bugze and levitate him toward you "Then that means you are also family" "Group hug" you say as you then Selena and Nightshade wrap your hooves around Shadow Bugze. "I'm gonna call you uncle Shadow" Nightshade says.
"Hey what's up Ling?"
"Hmph. About time you acknowledged m- Wait, what?" Shadow you says in confusion.
"Wait, if you're part of me..." you say in obliviousness to his comment as you pick up Shadow Bugze causing him to protest,
"What are you doing? Put me down!"
"Then that means you're also family!" you say as you levitate him towards you.
"Group hug!" you declare as you, Selena, and Nightshade wrap your hooves around Shadow Bugze.
"Greetings, strange one." Selena greets.
"I'm gonna call you uncle Shadow" Nightshade says, "Wow, now I have 2 daddies!"
Suddenly, Shadow you's eyes soften as he says,
"Oh... this takes me back... before... No!"
Shadow you suddenly angrily shakes his head to snap out of it before he glares at you and says,
"Fools... maybe you need to understand the gravity of the situation..."
With that said he gains a cruel smirk as he says...
"First of all, this place is a little too crowded..." With that, Shadow Bugze uses FUS RO DAH to blast Selena and Nightshade away.
"First of all, this place is a little too crowded..."
He then suddenly grabs you and hurls you behind him. Before Selena and Nightshade can do anything,
They're suddenly blasted away by Shadow you's roar of power. As soon as they land (with Selena protectively catching Nightshade), a giant stone wall immediately sprouts out of the ground in front of them, but there's a huge window pane on it, and you can see Selena and Nightshade slowly get back up from it.
*snap*
Your eyes glow orange as you charge at the shadow yelling,
"Who the buck do you think you are to do that to my family! FALCON PUNCH!"
The Shadow chuckles as he says,
"Didn't you hear me before fool? I AM you. WARLOCK PUNCH!"
As he yells that, a dark aura surrounds his hoof and your flaming punches collide in a small explosion that knocks you both back. When you recover, you glare at him as you say,
"If you're really me, what's my favorite food and why?"
"Peanut Butter, banana, and bacon sandwiches. It was after Grandbuggy snuck us into a Rock-and-Roll-themed Minotaur restaurant and we fell in love with the crispy bacon, sliced bananas, and creamy peanut butter between two slices of bread grilled in bacon fa-"
"Ha! It's peanut butter, banana, and seitan bacon sandwiches fried in coconut oil you fake!" you triumphantly point out.
"That's because you renounced the glorious juiciness of meat and became a pathetic vegetarian after seeing that propaganda film by the ''Ponies for Ethical Treatment of Animals."
"Okay... What's Nightshade's favorite food?"
"Any type of ramen or a whole bag of sugar. Now if you're don-"
"What's my name?"
The Shadow rolls his eyes with a smirk as he says,
"$@#%@, of course you changed it to 'Bugze' after you meet that pathetic puppet princess."
You growl at his insult at Cadence as you ask,
"What's my favorite video game of all time?"
"We could never decide, but we happen to just adore the Alicorn of War series when it came to action. All that blood and dismemberment just makes us giggle in pleasure doesn't it?"
You gag at the Shadows response as you ask,
"What items did my mysterious friend give me, the order I received them, and where I was when I got them?"
The Shadow flat out laughs as he says,
"We got The Inventory first at that old castle we hid out at when the hick and Stabby were first after us. Next, we got our Nobody (which is what we are) Cloak at Zecora's after our first beatdown from Smaug. Then, we got two Gala Tickets at our old minions' cave after we were set on fire and became pyromaniacs. Good times, by the way."
Your starting to back away in fear from this... thing as it continues, finishing with,
"And most recently, we got that no good Doctor's 4th regeneration scarf during breakfast at the Hick families' farm. There, is that proof enough that I'm you?"
He smiles devilishly at your petrified form as all you can do is stutter in fear,
"I am the solution.More specifically, I am your true self. Everything you do that you think defines you; your kind words and noble sacrifices, They're not the real you. The real you delights in destruction and bathes in the blood of his enemies. The real you understands that to be the hero you must be the villain! You are an impostor, a threat to yourself. I will end that threat here and now!"
"No!" Nightshade cries as she bangs on the glass pane, "Daddy is a great stallion. He helps ponies with all his might. He's the hero Equestria needs, if not the one it deserves. You're the impostor here!"
"I concur," Selena adds. "Bugze is a kind soul, and you are the embodiment of his corrupt powers. Begone, foul creature, before I smite thee on the spot!"
"Oh, how the mighty have fallen." your shadow retorts, "You used to be Nightmare Moon, terror of the night, lurking behind every shadow, beneath every doorstep. Now you're Selena, a voice inside some dimwit's head. And you!"
He points at Nightshade before continuing,
"You're the daughter of the moon, a child of the night, the bringer of the final dusk! The dreams and nightmares of millions are yours to control, the crisp night air and dark shadows yours to command! Don't waste your time on pitiful colts or dragons or mere gluttony! They're beneath you. All are beneath you!"
"Now that's enough!" you shout. "Nightshade is my daughter, Selena my... skull-roommate. And if you think that just because you show up and claim to be my true self you can take them away, then buddy you've got another guess coming. FALCON PUNCH!"
You dash towards your shadow self, but he avoids the attack with ease before declaring,
"WARLOCK PUNCH!"
Your shadow self's hoof is engulfed in dark energy as he rushes towards you.
"FALCON PUNCH!" you cry as your fiery hoof crashes into his causing another small explosion that knocks you both back. You look at the Shadow before you in shock as he chuckles before saying,
"Hehehe, what's with the shocked face? I AM you, remember? Besides, even if I wasn't you, I still memorized all the moves you learned from our last encounter."
You look at him in confused fear and are about to ask him something when you hear Nightshade say,
“Whoa Whoa Wait a Minute!” she looks to Selena, “You’re my mommy?”
Selena sighs and says,
“Yes Nightshade, I am your mother, I wish we could’ve talked about this under better circumstances, but yes, I am...”
“Wow, I can’t believe Princess Luna is my mom!” shouts Nightshade in excitement.
Selena freezes up with a look of shock on her face while you gulp in fear.
"Oho, that's GOTTA hurt!" Shadow Bugze says between laughs, “So how does it feel?... ’Luna'.”
“AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!” Selena screams in rage as she tries to rush at Shadow Bugze and starts pummeling on the window pane, startling you and Nightshade who comments,
“The Buck? Why is she so…”
“Ya, listen honey,” you say to Nightshade, “Let’s not be using that L word around her OK?”
“But why?”
“Because she’s not Luna, and she kind of hates her.”
“But... that’s who Nightmare Moon is right?”
"Technically yeah-" Shadow you says before you interrupt,
“Kind of, but not really. She and Luna were her together or something…, look it’s a long story, most of which I still don’t even know. Basically, she’s not really Luna nor Nightmare Moon completely, her name is Selena and she's your mother. There’s more but we’ll tell you all about it after we take care of Uncle Shadow over there.”
“Okay.”
“I will gut you and feast on your entrails you bucking maggot!” shouts Selena as she blasts the window pane to no avail.
"Haha, that’s the spirit!” Shadow you taunts, "Although it's rather pathetic that the former Queen of Nightmares can't even blast through a basic construct in her own domain anymore."
Shrugging off Selena's rant (she's currently swearing off a storm while Nightshade looks at her with sparkles in her eyes), you ask the Shadow,
"Last encounter? I've never meant you before in my entire life."
The shadow just smirks as he says,
"Don't act so surprised, we met before after the pink psycho's party."
"Uh..."
Shadow Bugze's expression changes from a smirk to deadpan disbelief before saying,
"Seriously? The party where you foolishly apologized for calling her the pyscho that she is."
"..."
"Uh... I tied you to a chair."
"..."
"Oh for the love of..." he snorts in annoyance before a yellow-version of the changeling flames appear and he turns into the headless pony from that nightmare (see "Episode 26: I NEED A ADULT!")
"OH SWEET LUNA!" you yell in shock, "YOU'RE THAT HEADLESS PONY!!!"
"Nooooo, YA THINK!!!" he yells in annoyance.
"B-But how?!" you demand in panic.
"I'm a CHANGEling you stupid motherbucker! It's in our bucking name!!! Wait, scratch that."
He changes back into you before smugly continuing,
"It's in MY name as you can't even pull THAT off!
"Hey! I"m a perfectly good changeling!" you angrily counter.
The Shadow you laughs evilly as he says,
"HAHAHAHAHAH! Fool! You're not even a mediocre changeling! You can't stay in a transformation for more then a few minutes before it goes up in flames, you've always hesitate to steal love even though your entire survival depended on it, you never been on a date, you hate Heart's and Hoove's day enough to try to burn down a whole town, hay you can't even EAT love anymore! You're no changeling, you're a low, disgusting monster of a hybrid!"
You hold your hooves to your ears as you yell,
"SHUT UP! YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ME! JUST WHAT THE BUCK ARE YOU!"
What you don't notice is as you shout that, the darkness surrounding the Shadow becomes unstable as he smirks evilly and says,
"Bugzy,I am your fathe- I mean, Shadow." "That's not true! That's impossible!" You yell defiantly at the shadowy figure before you. "I'm nothing like you."
"That's not true! That's impossible!" You yell defiantly at the shadowy figure before you, "I'm nothing like you!"
"Uh... Yeah, I'm your SHADOW." Shadow you says in a deadpan tone.
"I kinda know. I was just going along with your Star Wars reference." you shrug before continuing. "But seriously, my shadow? How is that possible?"
Shadow you answers with a smirk,
"I am you. Or at least I'm what you don't want to face, the side you try to suppress and seal inside you, the side that revels in causing evil, the side that hates your stupid 'friends and family', the side that thinks that killing that stupid stallion that tried to use the name of the hooded offender for his own selfish purposes is a great thing, the side that, even if you don't want to admit, wants to kill those accursed Princesses."
"What? I don't..." you try to say, but the Shadow interrupts,
"Don't try to deny it, you know it's true, and unlike our friend here," He points to Selena (who's still pounding on the pane) before continuing, "I'm not some simple pushover that's happy with just lazing around in your empty head... Just think of how much fun you could have if you just accept me."
"Fun?" you ask in concern/confusion,
"Of course! I think the first thing we could do is visit our little shy pegasus friend, you know how much adult fun she could give us..." He answers with a malicious smirk,
"But if you're in the mood for something rougher, we could just go to the hick and rainbow instead. Even if you were to come to them as a... bug-thing, our power would make their resistance a non-issue. Next we'll deal with those other elements; grinding the pink psycho into cupcake dough, making Tacky McStabby Flank live up to her name, and as for that annoying Purple unicorn; just some duct tape and brutal application of the vise-grips and boom! Her magic will never bother us again... "
The Shadow you laughs evilly before he continues
"Then we can tear through the Royal Guard with our Nightmare Cloak in a bloodbath frenzy and finish with her 'royal highnesses'. Making them pay for everything they did and tried to do to us... After we tell them what we did to their precious elements and give them Twilight's broken bloody horn as proof of course."
You and Selena's faces become green in disgust at Shadow you's sadism (fortunately, little Nightshade was just confused as she's too young to understand what Shadow Bugze really means).
"How-How could you even think something like that?" you ask in disgusted horror.
"Ohh, Bugze, Bugze, Bugze... You're as disappointing as you are annoyingly thick-headed... As I've said a dozen times now, I'm YOU."
"No... you're not me... you can't be..."
The shadow's around the Shadow become more unstable as it continues to speak in a smug tone
"Oh really, are you so sure? Search your feelings; you know it to be true." It says in a gravelly, distorted, and droning voice before continuing in his normal tone,
"As I've been trying to get through your thick skull for a gazillion times, I think you'll find we have much more in common than you think, except that I'm the Bugze you always wanted to be. I'm the Bugze who you always could have been, the Bugze you still want to be. I have everything; I do as I please, Equestria bows down to me, and everyling accepts me or they feel my wrath! I even have a nice little harem of beautiful mares, gamer mares, at my beck and call. And all it took to get all that... was to put down a few problems that kept popping up." the Shadow says as he gives a demented smirk before continuing,
"I believe you know their names... Twilight, the Elements, Shining Armor, as well as a few obnoxious others here and there."
"W- what? You killed them?" you ask in horror.
"That's right. And I enjoyed it, just like you'll enjoy it. Being the baddest colt around is SO much easier and more satisfying than trying to be a 'hero'."
"No. NO, you're wrong! I'm not like that, and I don't want to be like you!" you yell in denial.
The Shadow keeps on smiling as it replies.
"No... you wanted to be a 'hero', right?"
"That's right!" you shout at it the impostor, "I swore to Luna that I'd be a good bug, to protect those who couldn't protect themselves! And I have a daughter to protect and be a good role model for!"
The Shadow laughs cruelly as he says
-Shadow Bugze claims that Nightshade and that "vow to Luna to be good" are all horesapples AND the source of all your problems and states that if you were smarter you would have used your power to get stinkin rich and live the high life of scarfing down sweets while playing the latest video game in a mansion somewhere.
"That's the other truth I realized, those two things are nothing but the very chains holding you back!"
"What." you growl.
"In fact, they're just the sources of all our problems! I mean, keeping a vow to the Alicorn who wants to hang your guts and wants to do the same to your daughter? I can't even begin to count everything wrong with that! Also, the fact we have to keep worrying over that brat as she sucks away all our freedom and funds isn't doing you any favors either! Hay, the reason you keep getting itno trouble is because that brat has the survival instinct of a cockroach in a blender. If you had even a 9th of a brain, you would have renounced that vow and dumped the brat in an orphanage a LONG time ago and be living the high life!"
"HEY! MY DADDY IS VERY HAPPY WITH ME!" Nightshade protests, but Shadow you ignores her outburst and continues,
"We could be using our powers to get anything we want! Imagine; a mansion out in the Everfree filled with servants, bakers, mistresses, treasure, movies, and video games! We could scarf down gourmet sweets for the rest of our lives, play video games and binge on movies and serials like there's no tomorrow, and have any mare pleasure us however we want with a wave of our treasure-filled hooves!"
You glare angrily at the Shadow as you denounce,
"No! I don't want any of that! Especially if it means giving up my daughter! A hero doesn't need those things! And all I want is to be a hero!"
"So... how's that working for you?"
This response catches you off guard as the Shadow continues,
"How many lives have you actually saved compared to those you've destroyed, huh? If you were a hero, these ponies would love you, and yet they hunt you down like a beast! You're no hero, and you never were one anyway. You're nothing but a monster and a heartless killer, but that's okay! You want to know why it's okay?"
"Okay, sure! Enlighten me on why anything that comes out of your bucking mouth is okay!" you sarcastically yell.
"Because you never even wanted to be a hero, not really. It was all just a lie you told yourself to cover what you really wanted. The thing you wanted since you were a little squirming outcast in the hive that everyling always picked on." the Shadow sneers as he gets closer to you, "You wanted to belong. To be accepted and loved. But that will never happen."
"N-no... you're wrong." you try to shout, but only manage a little more than a whisper "I have friends, ponies who care about me. Cadence, Zecora, Fluttershy..."
"All just using you. You're all alone; no one cares about you, and no one ever truly will. You will never know friendship, love, or acceptance." the Shadow speaks in its harsh whispering voice as he gets close to your ear and you shake your head in denial as tears spill down your cheeks.
"Unless... you take it. Stop pretending to be something you're not. Stop trying to please those who will always hate you. If they won't be your friend, be their ultimate enemy. If they won't love you. make them fear you! If they'll never accept you as an equal, then just dominate them as their master! Cast aside the mantle of a hero noling wanted, and take your place as an overlord that they will either accept... or diiiieeeee."
*snap*
"NO!" you yell in a sudden burst of orange-glowing-eyes fury and buck the surprised Shadow away, "I am not a monster! I don't want to rule like a tyrant! And I will NEVER, EVER kill anyling ever again! I will NEVER be like you, because you. Are. NOT. ME!!!"
The Shadows around him become so unstable that you can see them going around him crazily , but you don't care as he says with insanity in his yellow eyes,
"That's right! Say I'm not you, say your not me one more time, I dare you!"
You glare at him in pure hatred as you yell at the top of your lungs,
"You're... you're... YOU'RE NOT ME!"
Suddenly the shadows around him explode as he laughs insanely before he looks at you in a evilly and says,
"That's right, I'm not you! I'm my own self! I'm gonna decide my own fate, and I'm gonna do so by watching this world BURN!"
As soon as he yelled that the Shadows around him surround him before exploding outwards. When you get reoriented, you look in fear as in the spot where Shadow you was is...
All thing's considered, your persona is probably a monstrous version of the five tailed Nightmare Cloak. Enormous, fanged, horns and spikes, black as night, all that good stuff.
A monster with sharp fangs, horns, glowing yellow eyes, and a unstable-mindnight-colored misty cloak around him as 5 Nightmare Tails swish behind him. You stare at the creature in pure terror as you think,
Is... is that what I look like when I'm in the Nightmare Cloak? Is this... is this how others see me?
Before you can continue your conflicting thoughts, the creature before you laughs as he declares,
"I am the Shadow, the true and ultimate self!"
He glares at you evilly as he continues,
"I'm gonna make my own destiny! AND I'LL CRUSH ANYLING IN MY WAY! STARTING WITH YOU! BEAST CANNON!"
His Nightmare Cloak turning into a blue aura, your shadow self rockets towards you...
"Psycho Crusher!" you cry as you zoom forward to counter your double, the resulting explosion knocking you both back.
"You're not me!" you shout as you struggle to get up, "You're a cruel bloodthirsty monster, and if you ever took control of me a lot of ponies would die. I'm going to stop you right here! No Shadow Kick!"
You rush him again, and start a flurry of flying kicks, but your shadow gets up on two legs and yells,
When you get out of the crater, you scream in rage as you charge at the Shadow with a "Falcon Punch", but he counters with "Lightning Legs" and hits you head-on with a flurry of kicks before following up the combo with a "Electric Wind God Fist" that knocks you into the air before whipping out two of his Nightmare Tails to grab you in midair and viciously slam you into the ground. As you hit the floor, you cough up some blood and hear Selena and Nightshade's shouts of worry. This just causes the Shadow to chuckle as he taunts,
Also, maybe sometime in the fight have his Shadow start talking about all the mares Bugzy likes, only it focuses solely on their bodies instead of their personalities. And when the Shadow starts getting to the naughty bits, it doesn't stop so the real Bugzy has to shut it up while yelling "NO, BAD BUG! VERY BAD EVIL BUG!"
"Hahahaha! What would your crazy coot of a Grandbuggy say?!"
You get angry and yell,
"OI! Don't talk about my grand-"
"Wait, I do KNOW what he would say!"
Shadow Bugze then changes into Grandbuggy before taunting,
"*&@%. What the buck is WRONG with you! You got more mares than I ever banged lusting for you and you HAVEN'T rutted them all 42 rounds each by now! Are we even related?!"
"Wh-What?"
"Just the masseuse and athlete ALONE would have made for one hay of a threesome ya limp-horned idiot!"
"Masseuse and athelete? Oh, you mean Aloe and Rainb-*spurt*"
The image of what 'Shadow Bugze/Grandbuggy' is pointing out flashes in your mind and disorients you as "Grandbuggy" continues,
"I mean, Applejack's well-toned legs, Rainbow Dash's athletic body, Vinyl's shapely flanks, it's a whole buffet of mares to choose from! But still, I wonder who has the tightest-"*zap*
"NO, BAD BUG! VERY BAD EVIL BUG!" you yell as you whipped out the Power Glove and sent an Electro Bolt into "Grandbuggy"s nether regions before continuing,
"Also, I'm saving it for marriag-"
"Marriage?! Hah!", "Grandbuggy" recovers and taunts before changing back into you before taunting, "Those whorses don't even like YOU. They want to rut either the bad colt Hooded Offender or this 'Bullspit' person you made up. Who in their right mind would ever want to be AROUND a quarter-breed zombie mess of a freak like you without squashing you on sight!"
This just causes your anger to sky rocket and bits of the Nightmare Cloak begin to form on your body, which causes a look of fear to build in the Shadow as he yells,
"No... NO YOU DON'T!"
Before you can even reach one tail, Shadow Bugze uses his tails to propel himself forward with a cry of,
"WARLOCK PUNCH!"
His yellow-flame-encased hoof slams into your face with the force of a missile and sends you zooming back across the dreamscape field and slamming into the window that Selena and Nightshade are, cracking it.
"DADDY!!!"
"BUGZE!!!"
You look up in pain to see the fear leave the Shadow's eyes in favor of a smug smirk, but you shake it off as your imagination as you struggle to get up, but before you can, three tails grab and lift you into the air as Shadow you cries...
With that, he slams you into the ground again and does so repeatedly as he continues,
"I am a bloodthirsy monster. *SLAM* You are a bloodthirsty monster. *SLAM* We both delighted when we knocked Celestia to the ground, *SLAM* when we fought Discord to a standstill *SLAM* and when we smashed *SLAM* that monstrous pawn's face in! *SLAM* You suppress your true self. *SLAM* Well, no more!" *SLAM*
Nightshade's orange-flame-encased hoof smashes through the cracked frame and slams into your shadow, interrupting the preparation of his attack and knocking him down. As he lurches back up, Nightshade lands on the ground with glowing eyes as she yells in the Royal Canterlot Voice,
"GET THE BUCK AWAY FROM MY DADDY!!!"
Before bending a pair of boulders out of the ground and smashing them both on Shadow Bugze like cymbals. She then bends the boulders into one giant rock and starts repeatedly smashing Shadow Bugze into the ground with it.
"Bugze! This is not the time nor the place for this confrontation. You must awaken!" Selena yells as she lands next to you.
You look at Selena as if she was crazy as you say in panic,
"Wake up?!?! If you haven't noticed yet, he's kinda in my head like you! If I wake up, then you're stuck here with this thing! It's not like he has a limit or someth-"
Suddenly, the entire area shakes like crazy. You, Nightshade (who ran over to you after smashing Shadow you deep into the ground with the boulder), and Selena then hear a shout of defeat as you look over to the Shadow and see...
Shadow you crawling out from beneath the boulder and slowly disappearing in a cloud of shadows? Shadow you looks around in a crazed anger as he screams,
"NO! NO! NO! NO! I WAS SO BUCKING CLOSE! I COULD HAVE STOPPED IT! I NEED MORE TIME! GIVE ME MORE BUCKING TIME!"
Ignoring the Shadows crazed ramblings, you slowly approach it and say,
"I don't know how and I don't care why, but it's over. You're done, so get the buck out of my head."
The Shadow just gives you a crazed look as he says,
“Ha ha ha ha, oh this is rich, you actually think you’ve won? I’ll always be here. Always…” he reaches out at grabs your hoof “Every battle, every thought that you have, I will be there. The Crimson Knights, Discord…TRIXIE! You will listen to me then. There will be blood, oh yes…there will be blood…” he then continues to laugh as he melts into the darkness.
“Ha ha ha ha, oh this is rich, you actually think you’ve won? I’ll always be here. Always...” he suddenly reaches out at grabs your hoof as he rants,
“Every battle, every thought that you have, I will be there. The Crimson Knights, Discord... TRIXIE! You will listen to me then. There will be blood, oh yes... there will be blood-*KRUNCH*”
Suddenly, Shadow Bugze's ranting stops as Selena flies down from above and viciously land-stomps on him with a painful krunch. She then proceeds to start smashing her hooves repeatedly into his face while roaring,
"DON'T *wham* YOU *wham* EVER *wham* TRY *wham* TO *wham* HARM *wham* MY *wham* DAUGHTER *wham* YE *wham* PEASANT *wham*"
Selena then uses her magic to hurl the broken shadow into the air before following up by taking off at the plummeting figure resulting in Shadow you being viciously impaling on her horn, causing him to scream in pain as she roars,
"HOW ART THIS FOR A 'WEAK EXCUSE FOR A NIGHTMARE' YOU INSECT!!!"
Selena then unleashes a large blast of nightmare energy from her horn, sending Shadow you smashing into what's left of the wall which then collapses on him. You and Nightshade just stare at the scene wide-eyed, until Selena descends past you and as she lands she says,
"Come, we art done here."
You can only nod your head dumbly as you proceed to follow Selena towards Nightshade, but as you do you don't see a hoof reach at you from beneath the rubble as Shadow Bugze weakly whispers with a scowl of defeat on his face,
"So clos... to st... the Nightmare... yet so... so far..."
Before fading away to the shadows from whence it came...
“Beating someone who looks like you senseless was very therapeutic for us, perhaps we should do it again sometime?” Selena says with a smirk. Nightshade giggles at this, but you roll your eyes in annoyance,
“Heh heh heh... soooo anyway, now that that is over, why don’t we try this whole reunion thing again” you suggest.
“Ahem... very well. Hello Nightshade I am your mother…”
“Hello Mom... Am I your daughter?” Nightshade says uncertainly.
The conversation seems kind of stilted so Nightshade drops all precinct.
“Oh what they hay, MOMMY!!!” Nightshade yells as she leaps and wraps her front limbs around Selena’s neck.
Selena is shocked at first, but soon her eyes begin to water as she wraps her own front limbs around her daughter,
“It is good to finally be able to hold you, my precious child.”
“Yeah, I feel the same... Mommy... I have a kickflank mommy!”
You watch this heartwarming moment for a bit with your own eyes watering, almost forgetting about your own personal “Dream Lord”... almost.
Note to self: Ask The Doctor how he keeps his Dream Lord at bay.
Eventually Nightshade and Selena break their embrace.
“Oh Lun- I mean Nightmare Moon! I have so many questions for you. First things first, WHY AM I ONLY JUST NOW MEETING YOU?!”Nightshade shouts.
“I-well... Your father felt it best not to let you know of my existence. He and I haven’t always gotten along, and I have been trapped in his mind ever since your birth.”
Nightshade gives you a stink eye causing you to defensively pout,
“Hey, don’t go blaming everything on me!"
“But rest assured Nightshade, both your father and I love you very very much.”
“OK, So are you the reason Daddy Saddle Ragers out and smashes things when he’s angry?”
“I... yes. I am the cause of that...” Selena admits.
“Oh... well thanks for all the times you kept us safe then,” she says with a smile before turning serious again, “But could you maybe turn it down sometimes? I don’t like when Daddy keeps hurting everling.”
You and Selena shudder at remembering Fillydelphia,
“I have been trying my dear, I have been trying...”
Nightshade smiles and nods at this,
“How come you’re trapped in daddy’s head?”
“Because I have no physical body to go into. Your father is the only reason I am still alive” she says with sincerity and thankfulness.
“Can’t you like make a new body or something with magic?”
A strange horrified look crosses Selena’s features that only you notice as she stutters,
“Well... Um...!” she says as she looks nervous, but Nightshade is oblivious to this as she says,
“Oh, dang... well we can figure something out, right daddy?”
“Uh...” you look to Selena “Yeah, I’m sure we can figure that out eventually even if I have no idea at all how....”
“Awesome! Oh, I can’t wait to show you off to everypony! My Mommy is definitely stronger than all their mommies combined! And she’s a Princess... *gasp* which means I’m a princess too!”
You both calm your hyperactive daughter down and break the bad news,
“Honey, you can’t tell anyone about your mother.”
“Awww why not?” she pouts.
“Because our lives will be in even more danger should you go...” Selena looks at you with a scowl, “Spouting out my existence to others.”
"Hey it was only one, and she's trustworthy!" you argue.
"Yes, until her FlutterB!$%# persona comes through again." she counters
"Oh what are the chances of that?"
Somewhere in a Labyrinth a Minotaur is inspired by Madame Irony...
“OK fine I won't tell... even though I really want to... oh and how was I born if you're stuck in daddy's head?” Nightshade asks.
"Yeaa... how did that happen?" you ask her as well.
Selena looks around nervously before saying,
"Um.... I will tell you when you are older."
"AWWWWW" both you and Nightshade groan, but before you can complain further, you feel yourself being shaken awake in the real world.
“Uh-Oh, I’m waking up, you girls better wrap up quick!" you warn.
“Oh, but I have so much more to ask. Can I visit you every time I go to sleep?” Nightshade asks Selena.
“Maybe not all the time, but yes, you may, and I may visit you should you rest close to your father.”
“OK, see you tonight mom!” Nigthshade says before poofing away.
You start to wake up to Big Red shaking you, but not before you hear Selena say to you “Thank you.”
SWEET APPLE ACRES
You open your eyes groggily and see Big Red,
"Bout time ya got up." he says, "It's time to get to work."
You sit up and notice that Nightshade is not in the shed.
"Hey, where's Nightshade" you ask.
"Woke up before you did and is waiting outside for you to walk her to school." he responds.
You just chuckle at that and tell Big Red,
"Thanks. I'll be ready in a few minutes."
When Big Red leaves, you put the Luna Plushie away (somehow Big Red didn't see it, which is good since you do not want to explain that to him). With that done you walk outside to Nightshade when you both hear...
"Hold on there, partner, Mr. Tennant had his mask on when he accidentally fell into your lips. I kissed him WITHOUT the mask in the way!" Applejack counters.
"You were brainwashed by a love potion so that doesn't count!"
You see the Deadly six and your unwanted stalkers (Twilight, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Octavia, Vinyl, and Aloe) approaching and most of them are keeping their distance from the arguing ponies (some rolling their eyes while Fluttershy is blushing furiously as she tries to shrink away while muttering "Um... Well... Even if it was just a love potion I kissed him too..."), as Twilight tries to interrupt,
"GIRLS! Now is NOT the ti-"
"Wait, ah figured out how ta settle this." Applejack interrupts.
"You thinking what I'm thinking?" Rainbow Dash counters with a determined smirk.
"Eyup."
When the group reaches you and Nightshade, Applejack and Rainbow Dash both turn to you and demand,
"Who's the better kisser; her or me?!"
You get SUPER-nervous now that all eyes are attentively on you.
Uh... A little help here, Selena?
In the words of the Hick's gargantuan brother; Nope.
The other mares continue to glare into you and you think you'll have to pull a "LOOK! A DISTRACTION!", until Nightshade obliviously comes to your rescue by pointing out,
"Why are you asking Daddy? You were kissing each other so shouldn't you already know that?"
Applejack and Rainbow Dash start to stammer as they blush furiously while some of the other mares start chuckling. As Rainbow and Applejack continue to stammer, Twilight walks forward and says,
"Now Mister Tennant, about you trying to burn down the town..."
You chuckle nervously at that as you say,
"Hehehehe, about that. You see there's a reasonable expla-"
Twilight holds her hoof up as she says,
"Don't say a thing Mister Tennant, we already know."
"-nation involving a time machine and a hot tu-huh?"
You look at Twilight in confusion as Rarity steps up and says,
"Indeed darling, and while your attempt to burn down the town was a bit... over-reactive."
Aloe comes up and adds in,
"We understand thanks to that hunk of apple beefcak- I mean Big McIntosh's explanation of what happened in your past..."
She gets a solemn look on her face as Octavia comes up last and says,
"And were sorry for our actions that disgusting love poison made us do."
"Yeah... How could those meanies do that! And I'm sorry for spreading that mystery punch I found near the gazebo and making all those mares chase after you and the stallions an-"
Rarity shoves a hoof into Pinkie's mouth to shut her up as you rub your hoof behind your head humbly as you say,
"Don't worry about it, it happens every year. Hay, my Grandbug-er-pony would knock me out every year just so I wouldn't burn down half the hi-uh-I mean campus... Again..."
The mares give you weird looks, before Applejack suddenly snaps out of it as she says,
"Oh, Derpy came by with a packet for ya, Sugarcube." Applejack says as she hoofs you a packet. Your eye twitches in annoyance and as you open it say,
"I swear if I see just ONE more Hearts and Hooves day card I'm gonna-"*SPURT*
Your nosebleed sends you slamming back into the front door of your shed. Nightshade runs over to you in worry as Twilight comments,
"Huh, I wonder what was in that pac-"
Her words freeze in her throat when she sees the pictures in the packet.
"What is it sugercu-" Applejack says as she and the other mares comes over and they all look in open-mouthed shock (and a fair amount of blushing) when they all see that the packet contains several... suggestively smutty pictures of the Hearts and Hooves fiasco (including Lotus in the middle of putting Rarity in a flying armbar, Rainbow Dash and Applejack in an... intense part of their make-out session, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy kissing you (fortunately, their lips cover your changeling mouth so nopony knows you're a changeling), your unwanted stalkers in a mass mud wrestling brawl, etc.).
"HOO-TENNANT! HOW COULD YOU!" Fluttershy yells at you.
"WHY ARE ALL STALLIONS THA SAME!" Applejack yells as she threatening readies her lasso.
"Oh Mister Tennant, I knew there was a... primal side to you..." Aloe says in... aroused approval?
"Hey! Wait a minute, I swear these aren't min-!" you try to protest, but Rarity cuts you off.
"Oh! How barbaric of you, you pig! And with your daughter right here!"
"You should be ashamed!" Octavia yells at you.
"WHOA... I look hot."
"I don't look too shabby either. I knew all-night DJ'ing burns calories off the flanks." Rainbow Dash and Vinyl comment as they look at a few of the photos more attentively.
"They're not mine I swear!" you insist, but the mares continue to give you furious looks. It looks like you're in DEEP trouble until Nightshade chimes in,
"They were probably taken by Rumble's brother."
"WHAT?!" everyling shouts as they turn to the filly.
"Wait, who's Rumble's brother?" you ask.
"Thunderlane. Rumble says his brother is a bit mare-crazy and keeps magazines with mares wearing little pieces of clothing under his mattress. And how would daddy be able to take these pictures being chased around town?"
Seeing an opportunity to get the mares off you (and remembering how that pervert didn't lift a hoof to help you from the love-zombies) you say,
"All in favor of kicking that lazy pegasus's flank, say aye."
"AYE!" The mares almost unanimously say.
"Then what are you all waiting for? GET HIM!" you declare.
As the mares run off to beat up Thunderlane, you can't but sigh in relief as you think,
Sorry Thunderlane, but for once I'm not gonna be the one on the receiving end of the fury of a bunch mares. Plus that's what you get for not helping me you lazy pervert! Now to burn these stupid pict-huh?
Just as your about to burn the letters with the Power Glove when you hear Nightshade say,
"Daddy, look what I found!"
You put down the photos as you walk over to your daughter and pick up the picture frame she's levitating towards you. It's a picture of...
Find a Hearts and Hooves day picture frame with your harem mares (Fluttershy, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Octavia, Vinyl, and Aloe) in it and think with a smile, You know what? Maybe I don't hate Hearts and Hooves Day THAT much anymore...
Your stalkers making funny faces and holding a banner painted in orange saying,
SORRY FOR ALL THE TROUBLE. GET WELL SOON!
You smile as you think,
One of them must have dropped it. You know what? Maybe I don't hate Hearts and Hooves Day THAT much anym-
"AHHHHHHH! NOT DOWN THERE. ANYWHERE BUT THERE! PLEASE THE FACE, JUST THE FAC-EEEEEEEEEEEEE (high-pitched scream)!"
You sweat drop slightly as you quickly burn the other picture besides the one you're holding (which you're gonna hang in your shack somewhere) as you think,
But those mares still bucking terrify me to no end...
"Stalker Picture" added to The Inventory
"Hurry up Daddy! I'm gonna be late for school again!"
A COUPLE WEEKS LATER
Not much has happened during the timeskip. The only big change is that there's been a spree of pranks happening across Ponyville. Each one is more elaborate then the last with the latest victim (Twilight) was found tied-up, upside-down, with a hangover, and a magic-nullifying horn cover in her library with all her books around her in the floor in an unorganized mess. By the time Spike, Raven, and Flash got her down, she was twitching like crazy and was chanting "must tidy must tidy must tidy must tidy" over and over again...
Yeah... you've been letting off alot of steam with your pranks. They've even nicknamed you the "Demon Prankster King from Tartarus." Funny, huh? That's the same nickname you had back at the Hive... eh, must be a common nickname for pranksters. Anyway, we now see you at the Ponyville comic shop (called The Cyborg's Dungeon & Hoofball Card Shop and your regular hang out when you're not working) looking at a note that says,
"MANDATORY HORDE MEETING TONIGHT! BE THERE! Password is 'Burning Flags Must Fade'"
You just sigh as you mutter,
"This is gonna bucking suck, I just know something has to go horribly wrong-"
Before you can say anything else, you hear a pony call out,
"Ah, T-Stallion, how's my number one costumer?"
You look up from the note to see Comic Book Joe, the owner of the store. He has light amber mane (in a ponytail) and tail, a moderate orange coat, blue eyes, wears glasses, and has a cutie mark of a comic book. You smile at him as you walk up to the counter and are about to ask if he managed to get the latest issue of The Dark Offender (a underground comic loosely based off of the Hooded Offender, aka you... yeah you squealed like a newborn hatchling when you saw it even though it does have a habit of going a bit overboard with the violence and fanservice at times), when you hear a chime from the front door. You look over to it to see who it is and see...
"TWILIGHT?!"
"MISTER TENNANT?!"
You and the mare you thought would never walk into a comic book store unless she was held hostage or she thought the Offender was the store owner stare at each other in awkward shock as you think,
I must be dreaming, there's no way Twilight 'real books only bookworm' Sparkle is in here!
You and Twilight both look at each other in shock for a moment before you say,
"What are you doing here? I mean, I didn't think you would like this type of literature."
"This type of..." Twilight responds in confusion before realizing what you mean, "Oh, No, I buy those for Spike, the last time he came to the comic store, he wasted all his pay on comics and couldn't afford to buy gems."
"Wait, you pay him? I always thought you used him as a personal slave." you comment.
Twilight gets a horrified look as she responds,
"What?! How could you think that? Spike is like a little brother to me!"
"Really? Because every time I see the little guy, he's always working in your library or taking care of you."
"That's because he spends most of free time on things like pining after Rarity or buying comic books and junk food..." Twilight responds in annoyance.
Deciding to do some recon, you ask,
"So Twilight, I heard about what happened to you at the libra-"
"Shut up." Twilight bluntly says with a twitch in her eye.
"Uhhh...Twilight, are you oka-"
"I said shut up! We do not speak of that day okay!?" Twilight snaps.
"O... kayyyy..." you say out loud with a sweat drop, but at the same time you're thinking,
HAHAHAHAHHA! OH SWEET LUNA THE WAY SHE'S REACTING RIGHT NOW! I GOT HER GOOOD!
Snapping back to reality you decide to change the subject by asking,
"Oh... So, what comic did you buy this time?"
Twilight is about to responds, but suddenly scowls as she says,
You give Twilight a confused look before turning towards where she's looking at and you see the latest copy of The Dark Offender
"You mean th- I mean, Oh my Luna how did that get here? Heheh..." you say in a fake attempt to convey surprise, but Twilight seems to buy it (or is just too outraged/annoyed to notice) and says,
"I know, it surprised me, they made a comic that put the Hooded Offender as a hero..." Twilight comments before going on a rant/lecture on how she can never understand why idolize outlaws and how idolization of villains is detrimental to law-abiding society and blah blah blah, but you don't notice as you notice in the comic the aftermath of the battle with Discord, but it's exactly as you remembers the scene before Discord's mind-wipe.
This is most glorious work. Selena comments.
"Huh?" you mutter to Selena while ignoring Twilight's rant.
It's obvious that nopony is going to believe the truth due to the curse of that accursed draconequus, but graphic literature doesn't show truth. Because of this, Discord's spell won't effect it and thus it can convey the truth without showing it.
You're about to comment when Scootaloo enters with a coat and sunglasses and buys a copy of The Dark Offender before leaving. "Strange pony, I wonder who that was..." you comment, oblivious to the obvious disguise.
*facehoof*
Twilight just sighs in annoyance at the 'strange pony' before she looks over to you and asks,
"Anyway, what do you think about this comic?"
You look at Twilight in fake confusion as you say,
"Well, I can't really say since I haven't read it yet. Give me a second."
Twilight nods her head in understanding as you begin to 'read' the comic about yourself. You've already read (and bought) this issue, so you pretend to go over it . You always figured that the Hive Mind was among the few ponies not affected by Discord's spell (or at least those close to you), so you can't help but wonder who's making these comics. You shrug off that thought for now as you put down the comic and say,
"Well, it's good from a comic reader's point of view, but I think that there might be a little bit too much fanservice here and there. Plus it's a little more bloodier then from what I reme-I mean the newspapers said about this fight."
Twilight glares slightly as she says,
"Plus it made him the hero of the Discord incident and me and my friends the villains!"
You sweat drop at Twilight's comment as you say,
"Oh, yeah that too. Anyway, I think it would be better if Spike didn't read anymore of these, but in that case I'll help you out find a good one for him, okay?"
Twilight smiles brightly at this and says,
"Thanks!"
With that said, you and Twilight begin to look through all the nearby comics. Soon, Twilight decides to start up some small talk as she asks,
"But take these coupons for Hayburger Queen." you say as you hoof him a coupon page you found in the mail, but when he accepts it you lean close and whisper-growl, "If you take any embarrassing paparazzi photos of me or my Nightshade, I will burn the heart out of you." Featherweight gulps nervously as he nods rapidly.
“So... how have you been Mr. Tennant? We haven’t really heard any antics from you for a few weeks.” she says.
“Nothing much, just working on the farm and- wait, are ponies expecting me to do something?”
“Well... there may or may not be a bet on how long you last till some misadventure happens that you're directly involved in...” she sheepishly responds. You give her a shocked look before she responds,
“Don’t worry, I bet that you would last over a month, only a few more days before Rarity owes me.”
“Great...” you say with an annoyed shake of your head.
“Sooo... everything alright between you and your... um... admirers?” she asks trying to change the subject.
“Kinda, they've all kind of dialed it back after what happened during Hearts and Hooves Day, which I’m thankful for. Hay, the only one I've regularly interacted with was Applejack, and even then it's only because she's technically my boss and landlord.”
“Good... good,” Twilight mutters, failing to make conversation, “Sooo... which comic should I get Spike?”
“I don’t know, what’s he into?”
“Oh all kinds of... Comicy stuff heh heh.” she says causing you to ask,
“Why are you here picking up for him? It's pretty obvious you're not exactly a comic pony.”
“Well, he’s been doing such a good job recently and I thought I’d get him a treat... also I want to keep him away from Rainbow Dash for awhile.” she answers.
“Huh?”
"Yeah, Rainbow Dash 'hired' him to be her ghost writer,” she sarcastically answers with air quotes.
“Ghost rider? What for?” you ask.
“Rainbow Dash has been getting all full of herself recently. She rescued a few ponies and now she won’t stop gloating."
“Oh yeah, Nightshade told me about that...”
FLASHBACK
You were on your way to pick up Nightshade when you see her and the rest of the Cutie Mark Crusaders all have on fedoras and notepads and are with some skinny looking colt who has a camera.
You walk over to them in confusion (you aren't even mad that there is a colt here because he's so ridiculously skinny that Nightshade could accidentally break him with a poke) and ask,
“What are you all doing?”
“We’re gonna be CUTIE MARK CRUSADER JOURNALISTS YAY!” they all shout together, causing your scarf to fly backwards in the wind.
“OK... not the craziest idea I’ve ever heard, what made you want to do this?” you ask.
“Miss Cheerilee opened up the school paper and now we’re going to be reporters” says Sweetie.
“Yeah, she’s had a lot of great ideas since she married Apple Bloom's brother.” Nightshade says.
Apple Bloom gets a weird look as she mumbles,
“Yeah... they’re technically married, but it's...”
“Complicated?” you finish for her.
“Yeah...”
Big Mac and Cheerilee are still looking for a cheap divorce lawyer (as a result of this, Cheerilee isn't paying as much attention to schoolwork as she usually does).
You've had conversations with Big Red since that incident. Apparently, Mr. Waddles doesn't believe in annulments so he and Cheerilee have been looking for a divorce lawyer that won't charge an arm and a leg. This also means that Miss Cheerilee isn't paying as much attention to schoolwork as she usually does (as marked by Nightshade's grades improving even though she's still as book-dumb as you are), but you do see them hanging out occasionally and once you even swore you saw Bug Red come home late at 5 or 6-ish in the morning...
“Anyway," Nightshade interrupts, "We’re going to go interview Rainbow Dash!”
“Why?” you ask.
“Rainbow Dash just saved a filly trapped in a well, a baby carriage running off a cliff, and a bunch of old folks so we’re gonna go interview her with the rest!” shouts Scootaloo.
“Oh, well alright then.” you say (you haven’t been glomped by Rainbow in awhile, fortunatly), "But it sounds like this town is more accident-prone than usual-"
“This is our camera op, Featherweight,” Nightshade interrupts again as she introduces the skinny colt.
“Um... You alright kid? You need a sandwich or something?” you ask him in confused concern.
“No, why would you ask that?” he asks in confusion.
"No Reason."
"Okay... But take these coupons for 'The Hayburger Joint'* anyway." you say as you hoof him a coupon page you found in your junk mail, but when he accepts it you lean close and whisper-growl,
Featherweight gulps nervously as he nods rapidly causing you to smile as you back up and say,
"Good! Now you kids have fun, and don't go causing any rumors to get juicy stories or else the whole town will hate you!"
The group of foals nod their heads as they leave and shout,
"WE WILL!"
When they leave, you suddenly get a intense feeling of irony, but you just shrug it off as you head back to work.
BACK TO NOW
"She just keeps bragging, posing for cameras, and stroking her ego, we all think it’s getting really annoying...” Twilight huffs.
Yeesh, she must REALLY be hamming it up if Twilight and the others are annoyed with her. you think.
Attention Whorses usually do. Selena comments
“So why don’t you tell her about it?” you suggest to Twilight.
“We all tried to, but she just brushes us off... what would you do?” she asks.
“Well... I guess I’d give her a taste of her own medicine. Steal her thunder and all that...” you reply offhandedly as you browse through comics.
“Hmmm…” Twilight says as she contemplates at your answer while the two of you continue to look for a good comic. As you pick a couple up that look good you ask Twilight...
"So, uh... How's Nightshade doing in her magic training?" you asked.
Needless to say, you've been quite curious on how her magic training had been going. With the crazy power she has, you were curious about how she'll fare in any given situation... besides Falcon Kicking things in the nards as usual.
Twilight smiles as she answers,
"You're daughter is doing very well! Even though her control needs work, she has such magical power within her. So far, she can do basic spells without breaking anything. Well, almost anything..."
Huh, that probably explains that pile of broken things near the library with the sign that reads "Please fix this Mr. Tennant. 2 Bits for every item repaired"
Said bits were put into your savings. Goodness, you really need to be economical, especially with Nightshade's excessive eating habits. Although, you wonder why she's paying you for the the things your own daughter breaks...
Wait, did Nightshade have a hoof in this? Breaking things on purpose so I could get more bits patching them?
Realizing you were spacing out for a bit, you chuckled forcefully and said,
"Ehehehhe, Y-yeah! That's my girl. Always taking every task head on, and... stuff."
Jeez, have I been so troubled by recent events that i'm approaching Fluttershy levels of nervousness?
"Although... I can't seem to get her into reading. Every time I try to suggest a book to her, she just asks me if there's a movie version of it."
Aaand there's the catch. Honestly, you aren't surprised to hear that.
"She needs to understand that there is a whole world of knowledge at her hooves, you know? And what better way to access that world than reading books!" Sparkle declares before looking you square into the eye and saying, "You're her father! Surely you can convince her?"
"Um... sure?" you say uncertainty
Twilight nods at your answer and is about to ask something, but before she can your stomach growls. You look down at your stomach in embarrassment, before you look over to Twilight and chuckle-ask in a joking manner,
Jokingly ask Twilight if she has any Lembas bread you can feed Nightshade. She actually responds that her BBBFF is a fantasy geek and as Captain of the Royal Guard, he created a program to try to make Lembas bread real, but all attempts ended in failure (the most "successful" attempt turned a pony into a baguette for a week straight)
"Heheheh... So... Got any Lembas bread? Luna knows I could use some with Nightshade's appetite."
"Actually, my BBBFF is a big fantasy nerd and he even started a program to try to make Lembas bread a real thing."
"And...?" you ask in surprised hopefulness.
"Well... Let me put it this way, the most 'successful' attempt turned the pony into a baguette for a week straight"
"Oh... Would have been awesome if it worked." you comment.
Twilight just laughs slightly while shaking her head before she asks,
"Hey, did you find any good comics yet?"
You nod your head as you call her over and show her...
"Tennant! Why did you do that?!" Twilight exclaims in alarm.
You look at Twilight in confusion, before you look back at the unconscious pony. Realizing what she's asking, you laugh slightly as you say,
"Hahahahha, Sorry Twilight. I'm so used to KOing this guy that I didn't think of how you react."
Twilight looks at you strangely as she asks,
"Why... do you punch this stallion on a regular basis in the first place?"
"Well you see, this guy comes in everyday, he buys a comic, and goes home. Next day he comes in ranting about how much it sucks, and he's usually right about it. When he gets super angry at a comic, he tends to go all cuckoo berserker until KOed."
Twilight looks at the unconscious pony in confusion as she ponders,
"I wonder what got him extra mad this time then."
Comic Joe decides to speak as he says,
"He was playing that arcade game. I tried to warn him that it has faulty jump mechanics, but he wouldn't listen."
You nod your head in understanding as you say
"Ahhh, Poor guy didn't stand a chance. Anyway..."
You look back to Twilight as she looks at the Power Ponies comic with suspicion and continue,
"He was right. That comic is perfect for Spike. Personally I think he's gonna love th- "
"Hey Twilight!"
Before you can finish you and Twilight see Flash (still wearing his jacket and shirt while carrying his guitarcase) entering the comic book store.
You smile at Flash and wave, to which he returns the gesture. Ever since the whole "Loveopoclyse" incident, Flash has stayed in a motel while doing odds and ends job around Ponyville. His two main part-time jobs were working at Sugarcube Corner as a part-time waiter (you don't understand why a sweets shop/bakery needs a waiter, but then again Pinkie works there...) and playing freelance guitar in the various music club/bars in Ponyville. You've seen him play a few times, and you've once heard him rock out on his guitar while Vinyl was DJing. It's nice to hear Flash play on the guitar, he's really good at it.
He's also been keeping an ear and eye out for information on the Crimson Knights, The Horde, and the Hooded Offender in general (using his part-time jobs to better covertly listen in on the town). He doesn't know that you know this, but that's fine considering he's trying to keep the fact that he's undercover a secret after all. You often hung out with him during your free time (going through a Loveopoclyse together and technically-kinda already knowing each other due to the fact you used to foal-sit his little brother tends to bring out the friendship between a pony and a changeling. Plus Selena has somehow managed to silence the annoying voices that normally call for his blood) and you've also seen him talking with Twilight, but you guess he's sharing information with her about any info he's uncovered since she's one of the few ponies he can trust in town (and his boss's little sister).
He trots over to Twilight and says,
"Hey Miss Twilight. I was just about to- whoa."
He points to the unconscious pony, but then recognizes him and deadpan asks,
"What was he raging about this time?"
"Adamantium Rage" You and Comic Joe say.
"Worst. X-Mares game. Ever." Joe adds.
"Oh, okay. Anyway," he turns to Twilight before continuing, "I was going to the library next to check if Two Decades Later has arrived yet."
"Your book just arrived today. And please, you don't have to call me "Miss" Twilight, just my name is fine. I'm still surprised you asked me for that book as not that many ponies know that Alexandressage Dumas wrote sequels to The Three Musketeers." Twilight responds.
"Yeah, even though I'm usually more of a comics stallion, my dad used to read the 'Prench-to-Germaneigh' translations of his swashbuckling stories to me when I was a colt before he..."
Flash suddenly gets solemn as he trails off and Twilight looks at him in sympathy, but you obliviously don't notice this as you ask,
"Before he wh-ow!"
Twilight roughly elbows you before changing the subject,
"So... Flash. Should I let my assistant read this comic?"
Twilight shows Flash the Power Ponies comic. He looks at it for a second before he smiles and says,
"Spike right? If so then defiantly! Power Ponies is a great comic, especially if you're new to comics or not. Trust me, he'll love it!"
Twilight smiles brightly at both you and Flash as she goes to buy the comic. When she comes back you get a brilliant idea that'll help the time go by faster (you're on break at the moment) and cure your boredom for now. You smile at both Flash and Twilight as you say,
"Hey! I just had a great idea. Why don't the three of us head off to "The Hayburger Joint"?"
Twilight and Flash nod their heads at your idea as Twilight says,
"Sure, I'd love to. It'll be nice to spend time with you guys. I haven't hang out with either of you in awhile."
You give her a deadpanned look as you say,
"That's because every time I try to talk to you, you're either insane or... No you're usually out of your mind when we talk."
Twilight rubs the back of her head sheepishly, but you just chuckle at this and say,
"Hey, don't worry about it. I forgive ya, besides that was a long time ago. Anyway you guys wait outside, I need to talk to Comic Joe over here for... reasons."
You receive confused looks from the two ponies, but they just shrug their shoulders and go outside. With that done you go over to Comic Joe, but before you can say anything he jokingly asks,
"She your Marefriend Tennant?" Comic Book joe joked. "N-no I-" *Spurt* Bugze suffered the usually nosebleed, thankfully not blasting off into space. "She's just an acquaintance." He said. "Anyway you've got the latest issue of the Dark Offender right?" He then asked. "Of course! Here it is." Joe handed Bugze the latest Comic in the series. The cover showing THO battling against Discord. "Thank you." Bugze put Five bits on the counter and went out the door
"She your Marefriend Tennant?"
"No. She's just an acquaintance." you answer, "Anyway you've got the latest issue of the Dark Offender right?"
"Of course! Here it is." Joe hooves you the latest Comic in the series with the cover showing him/you battling against Discord.
"Thanks." you say as you give him the bits and leave, but before you walk out the door, you turn around and ask him,
"By the way, why'd you think that me and Twilight were dating anyway?"
He chuckles before he says,
"Nothing really, it just seem you two had alot of history. Like you two fought together or something. But that's just my comic-filled mind thinking, sorry for jumping to conclusions."
You shrug it off while on the inside you're thinking,
Yeah we fought alright, but we didn't fight the way your thinking...
You say bye to Comic Joe and head outside. When you do, you see that Twilight isn't with Flash anymore. You look at him in confusion and ask,
"Hey, where's Twilight?"
He chuckles nervously as he says,
"She just remembered that she had to reorganized the library again today. But she did say for us to have fun."
You smile slightly and say,
"Well it sucks that she can't join us, but at least she told us to have fun. Let's get going. I heard they're carrying Butterbeer now."
Flash laughs slightly at this, and the both of you head off to The Hayburger Joint...
A FEW MINUTES EARLIER, WITH FLASH AND TWILIGHT
After you leave, Flash tells Twilight how he may have uncovered more signs of Horde activity in Ponyville and strongly suspects that the recent accidents around Ponyville may have been acts of sabotage...
Flash carefully checks around him and Twilight before saying in a low volume to her,
"Miss- I mean Twilight, I believe I might have uncovered some... interesting information."
"What?" she asks.
"I've noticed a recent spike in Horde activity here. Nothing too big, but it looks like they're setting up a meeting for something."
"Flash. if it's the Horde then a meeting is big! What if they're planning another Fillydelphia!"
Flash makes a shush noise as he says,
"I doubt that's the topic of their meeting. Most of the dangerous Horde members left to join the Crimson Knights so they're more of a harmless fanclub now. Also you know all those recent accidents that have been happening around town?"
"The pranks or the more serious accidents?" Twilight asks in concern.
"The latter. I think those 'accidents' might have actually been sabotage!"
"Sabotage! Why would somep-"
Flash holds his hoof up and says,
"It gets worse. I have reason to believe all the sabotages were attempts to harm B.S. specifically. Quite a few of them occurred near him."
"Shouldn't we tell Mister Tennant?!" Twilight gasps in alarm.
Flash shakes his head as he says,
"No, I don't know for certain if this is true or not so telling him would just make him worry. If B.S. is the target of these accidents, then who knows who could want to hurt him."
All around Equestria (let alone Ponyville) quite a few ponies/diamond dogs/dragons/etc. sneeze and mutter "Somepony's talking about me." (including the Mane 6)
"Gesundheit." Flash says.
"Thank you." Twilight responds as she sniffles, "What about those other incidents far away from Mr. Tennant, like the runaway baby carriage or the old folks home's balcony collapsing?"
"While those may not have been aimed specifically at B.S., I think those were still the result of sabotage as well as quite a few ponies seen near the scenes claim they were somewhere else at the time. Not to mention I also found hints of green slime on the ponies in question. Regardless, it was fortunate that Miss Rainbow Dash was there to save them."
"Oh yes, let's not forget that the 'great Rainbow Dash' was there to save them." Twilight growls sarcastically as she remembers Rainbow's ego.
Flash doesn't seem to notice as he continues,
"I mean it's not like I can dress up as him to catch the po-"
*ding*
Twilight lights up as she says,
"Flash, you're a genius! I have to go back to the library, tell Mister Tennant that I wish the both of you to have fun!"
With that Twilight zips off, leaving a dust cloud and a confused orange pegasus behind her.
BACK TO THE PRESENT, AT THE HAYBURGER JOINT
We now find you and Flash at a table with their "Double Inferno Hayburger" (default double cheeseburger with grilled onions, grilled mushrooms, (seitan) bacon, chili, banana peppers (you thought it'd taste like bananas), jalapeno peppers, and hot sauce), chili cheese horseshoe fries (topped with ketchup) and a butterbeer while Flash just got the default cheesehayburger (cheese, lettuce, tomato, pickles, onions, and secret sauce), basic horseshoe fries (topped with ranch dressing), and a butterbeer you bought for him.
You and him have been talking for a while about basic stuff (how's life, new movies, etc.), but now you decide to bring up on a conversation you promised a couple weeks ago. With a frown you ask Flash...
Flash spits out his butterbeer in a coughing fit before defensively saying,
"I keep telling you I'm not a speciesist! It's just a few derogatory terms I picked up from my Grandpony on a subconscious level, I don't believe in them. I love all ponies!"
"Okay... then why is your Grandpony so speciesist then?" you ask.
"Well... he was married to another pegasus, but while he was serving in the Royal Guard, she ran off with an Earth Pony."
"Well that's rather extrem-" you say before Flash interrupts.
"Oh, and that happened to grandpony five times in a row. The last two ran off with a Griffin and a Diamond Dog!"*
"Oh... that's understandable. Kinda..."
"I love all ponies! And seriously, why the heck would you even think of having this conversation here of all plac-"
"What about other creatures?" you interrupt.
"I'm fine with all species alright? I'm not a-"
"Diamond Dogs?"
"BUCK THOSE FURRY ROTTEN MONGRELS TO TARTARUS!!!" he shouts, causing everyone to look at him in shock, including a nice-looking Diamond Dog family with pups (whom they've covered the ears of).
"Dude..." you say to him with a shake of your head.
"NO NO! I DIDN'T MEAN IT!" he shouts, "That's my grandpony talking! Plus I had a bad experience with some who kidnapped me and my squad! I'm sure they aren't all bad! I don't judge all because of a few! You believe me right? heh heh heh..."
The Dog family gets up and leaves, "Really, in this day and age. You sicken us," they chide causing Flash to slam his head into his hooves and groan,
"Not me! If anything, my grandbuggy has the opposite problem..." you mutter that last part before you say, "Cheer up pal, we'll break you of your problem soon..."
"I swear, I don't have a problem" he mumbles into his hooves.
"SPECIESTSAYSWHAT!" you say real fast.
"What?" he says with a lift of his head.
"Exactly!" you say as you point at him.
It takes him a moment to realize what you did, and after he does, he headdesks once more before muttering,
"I thought you were my friend..."
You laugh at Flash's reaction, so much so that you don't notice the Horde meeting flyer falling out of your pocket. Neither of you notice it as you calm down slightly and your mind wanders...
I wonder who would win in a fight between the Power Ponies and the Marevengers? Captain Equestria's tactical mind would give them a huge edge against the Power Ponies, but the variety of powers the Masked Matter-Horn and Radiance display could be too much to compute. Iron Mare could just blast them all with a rocket, but that's assuming Fili-second wouldn't catch it in flight. For that matter, how would Black Arachnid's covert skills stack up against Mistress Marevelous's warrior training? Not to mention it all goes up in the air when you pit Saddle Rager and Zapp against Supermane...
Another opinion is needed, just so you could pass the time by arguing if nothing else, so you turn to Flash only to see him staring at the Horde meeting flyer.
Your eyes widen in panic, but you calm down before Flash can notice as you think,
Calm down bug! Panicking will only get him suspicious. He doesn't know that the flyer is yours, if he did he would have jumped you by now. For now just act dumb and he won't notice...
It won't be too hard for you to act dumb, heck you don't even need to act.
Not now Selena, we can argue about my low intelligence later!
With that quick thought to Selena, you're about to ask Flash a fake 'what is that' when he says,
"This is a Horde meeting flyer, must have fallen off one of it's member's pocket..."
Yeah... mine.
He then stares at you intently as he asks,
"Don't suppose you know where this is?"
"Nope! Not a clue! Why? You want to join?" you defensively say a little too quickly.
"You... could say I have a passing interest in them, yes. I've met a few of them in my travels- Because that's what I do. I travel. As a traveling guitar player. Yes. A guitar player and nothing else. Heheh" He clears his throat before continuing, "Anyway, don't you think it's a little... weird? I mean, they put the password right on the sign."
"Yeah, but the thing is... huh."
You pause as you notice that they did indeed put the password right on the flyer.
And you trusted that cowardly strumpet with the secret of my existence...
"W-well, the password isn't much good on its own, is it?" you stammer nervously, "A strange pony would still need to find the place. What will they do? Knock on every door in town and say the password to everyone who answers until they get lucky? Heheheh..."
"Great idea!"
"Huh? Wait-!"
Before you could finish, Flash has already bolted out of the place.
I would be furious with you if this wasn't so adorable.
I... uh... you... well... elaborate, please?
You and the unremarkable orange pegasus. This male bond you share that I believe ponies these days refer to as 'bromance'.
We do not have a bromance! We only share interests in serials, movies, games, and comics. And we get each others' references. and we totally rocked out together; Twice. And he agreed to hear me out in Fillydelphia and... he helped me out during the Loveocalypse... Oh, sweet Luna, we have a bromance!
And now he is going to be there as you address your followers for possibly the last time.
Yeah. Maybe. I still need to figure that out, huh? I don't suppose you have anything to more to add?
"GAH!" You exclaim, causing everypony in the restaurant to look at you funny,
"Sorry. Didn't see the reveal in this panel coming, you know?"
Realizing that you don't have a comic with you and all the strange looks you're getting from the ponies are getting worse, you chuckle nervously before bolting out of the restaura-
We now find you at the shopping district where you just bought groceries;
Bag of Sugar 2 Boxes of "Lucky Oats" Cereal (no need to buy milk since you just borrow some from the Apples) 3 Large Bags of "Sour Cream & Onion" Potato Chips (they didn't have yours or Nightshade's favorite flavors) 3 Boxes of Snack cakes 4 Jars of Chocolate Peanut Butter 6 Cans of soup (3 Creamy Tomato, 3 Broccoli Cheese) 7 Boxes of whole-wheat crackers 8 Bags of Gummy Fruits 10 Bottles of cotton-candy flavored Ramune (Neighponese soda) 15 Instant Noodle Bowls (Special version that heats up when unicorn magic is applied)
Added to Inventory 21 Bits remaining
You put the last of the food in the Inventory and begin to head over to the library to pick up Nightshade. On your way to the library, you come across Rainbow Dash signing a line of autographs. You walk over to her and she spots you first,
"Hey Baker! How bout when I'm done here you get the pleasure of hanging out with the most super-ultra-extreme-awesomazing pony in Equestria!"
Rolling your eyes at her boasting, you say,
"Uh... Rainbow Dash, Don't you think you're letting all this go to your head?"
"No way Jose." Rainbow Dash brushes off while posing for a camera while signing an autograph, "It's only bragging if you can't back it up, which I can because I'm super-ultra-extreme-awesomazing!"
You're about to say something when you all hear a cry for help as a mare in a popped Hot-air balloon plummets to the ground.
"Uh, don't you think you should go and help?" Snips points out.
"Yeah, yeah. I've got a good ten seconds to spare. Just a coup-"
"RAINBOW!!!" you yell.
"FIne..." Rainbow pouts before talking off.
ONE BOTCHED-RESCUE-AND-FIRST-APPEARANCE/NAMING-OF-THE-MYSTERIOUS-MARE-DO-WELL-AND-BECAUSE-YOU'VE-ALL-ALREADY-SEEN-THIS-IN-THE-SHOW-WE-DON'T-NEED-TO-REPEAT-IT-HERE LATER
When the mayor names this new costumed hero, you snark at "how creative" the Mayor's name is before writing to the Doctor about this new development before heading off to pick up Nightshade.
You snicker slightly at the name as you say,
"The Mysterious Mare Do Well huh? I can come up with a better name then that..."
Says the bug who made up ingenious aliases such as 'El Hunko', 'The Hooded Offender', and 'B.S.T'.
You 'urk' slightly at this as you think dejectedly,
How come Mare-Do-Well gets hailed as a hero for saving ponies, yet when I do it, all I get is a bounty on my head?
But then your second thought turns to concern as you scowl while thinking,
But... whoever this Mare-Do-Well is is trying to go with the dark cowl-style hero like Batmare or Darkwing Goose or like my own Hooded Offender thing. That just raises my red flags as I know for a fact from personal experience that where there's a vigilante, there's bound to be a archnemesis, and where there's a archnemesis there's cha-I mean death. Whoever that is MMDW is has got to go just like me, otherwise it'll only lead to destruction and death... I'm gonna find you Mysterious-Mare-Do-Well, and we're gonna have a nice little 'chat' about you dropping your mask and turning in your hat... which I want by the way!
Unbeknownst to you, Rainbow Dash notices your scowl (body language and eyes, not mouth due to it being covered by face-mask and scarf). Sighing sadly at yet another problem that you have to solve, you jot in the Inter-Dimensional Notebook,
Hey Doc. we have a problem. Theres a masked vigilante running around and for ounce it ain't me! I'm gonna have a 'chat' with them so they know it's a bad idea in the first place.
You're about to put the notebook away when you have another thought and add,
P.S. How do you exist as the main character of a fictional serial AND a real-life figure at the same time?
Twilight's library. When you pick up Nightshade, she was just finishing a "Replication Spell" lesson from Twilight. As you both walk back to Sweet Apple Acres, Nightshade shows you a copy of The Foal Free Press and you laugh at the Gabby Gums column; "Snips and Snails and Bubble Gum Fails" causing Selena to comment,
"Hahahahaha!"
Typical that you'd laugh at this. Back in my time, comedy was held to a much higher Stan-Bwahaha! Sticky sweets on their hindquarters! Hahahaha!
After briefly calming down, you ask Nightshade,
"This is the truth right? You didn't make this up and twisted the truth to make it funnier? Cause there's nothing lower than a paparazzi."
Nightshade shakes her head as she says,
"Of course not Daddy! The Cutie Mark Crusaders have more integ-grat-ee than that!"
You ruffle Nightshade's mane as you say,
"That's my girl, now come on I still have to finish up work at the farm. You can watch if you want."
Nightshade laughs as she jumps on your back and says,
"Really! Sweet!"
You chuckle slightly as you head to the farm...
THAT NIGHT
After you finish work, eat dinner with Nightshade (3 Instant Noodle bowls (1 for you and 2 for Nightshade), 1 Large Bag of Potato Chips, leftover buttered corn on a cob and grape juice from the Apples, and a Box of Snack cakes for dessert), pack Nightshade's lunch for the next day, and put Nightshade to bed, you go to Horde Meeting where President Fluttershy is late...
During work, you managed to practice your airbending a little bit. You can now say that you're almost good! You can't wait to see how it does in a fight (on second thought... yeah, you can wait). Anyway, after dinner (3 Instant Noodle bowls (1 for you and 2 for Nightshade), 1 Large Bag of Potato Chips, leftover buttered corn on a cob and grape juice from the Apples, and a Box of Snack cakes for dessert) we now see you packing Nightshade's saddle bag while she's sleeping in the cot behind you. After you've packed her bag you do a quick check,
Nightshade's Saddlebag Inventory:
-Jar of Chocolate Peanut Butter -Box of Whole-wheat crackers -2 Apples -2 Bags of Gummy Fruits -2 Bottles of cotton-candy flavored Ramune -Homework ("checked" by yours truly) -2 Pencils -Crayon Pack -Roll of duct tape -Journalist notebook -4 Bits pocket change
After that...
quick inventory check
You decide to do a quick Inventory Check so you open it up and see,
Brown pouch with 21 Bits in it Your awesome hooded black coat/Nobody Coat Your favorite Stetson Orange Bandanna"El Hunko" suit Purple Top Hat "How to be A Gentle Colt 101" book "Kung-Fu For Dummies" book All Four Sherclop Holmes Novels and all fifty-six short stories Used History Textbook Patching supplies (Vise-Grips, several rolls of duct tape, and several cans of WD-40. Never leave home without them) List of all your powers and spells Note with your debt to The Doctor Nightshade's crayon drawing of you Magic black staff with a red crystal on top of it Pink "Lover's Jewel" Necklace Knock-out Luna Plushie TARDIS-blue Pen Inter-Dimensional Notebook "Alien" & "Aliens" double feature reel "Coltmmando" film reel "Die Hoof" film reel "Death Notebook" anime (Neighponese animated) serial reels "Full Crystal Alchemist" anime serial reels "Element Manipulation: Vol 4. Air" book "Old Pony Legends" book Ponyville Library Card "2 Toothbrushes" "Container of Floss" "Tube of Toothpaste" "Big Daddy armor" "Power Glove" Bag of Sugar 2 Boxes of "Lucky Oats" Cereal (no need to buy milk since you just borrow some from the Apples) 2 Large Bags of "Sour Cream & Onion" Potato Chips (they didn't have yours or Nightshade's favorite flavors) 2 Boxes of Snack cakes 3 Jars of Chocolate Peanut Butter 6 Cans of soup (3 Creamy Tomato, 3 Broccoli Cheese) 6 Boxes of whole-wheat crackers 6 Bags of Gummy Fruits 8 Bottles of cotton-candy flavored Ramune (Neighponese soda) 12 Instant Noodle Bowls (Special version that heats up when unicorn magic is applied)
WOAH! That is ALOT of stuff... I better do some cleaning,
With that, you put the dental hygeine tools, serial/movie reels, and books you have (besides the Sherclop books, How to be a Gentle Colt 101, and the Kung-Fu for Dummies book) and put them onto a shelf nearby.
"2 Toothbrushes" "Container of Floss" "Tube of Toothpaste" "Alien" & "Aliens" double feature reel "Coltmmando" film reel "Die Hoof" film reel "Death Notebook" anime (Neighponese animated) serial reels "Full Crystal Alchemist" anime serial reels "Element Manipulation: Vol 4. Air" book "Old Pony Legends" book
Removed from Inventory
You sigh in relief as The Inventory is now less packed. It now looks like this;
Current Inventory:
Brown pouch with 21 Bits in it Your awesome hooded black coat/Nobody Coat Your favorite Stetson Orange Bandanna"El Hunko" suit Purple Top Hat "How to be A Gentle Colt 101" book "Kung-Fu For Dummies" book All Four Sherclop Holmes Novels and all fifty-six short stories Used History Textbook Patching supplies (Vise-Grips, several rolls of duct tape, and several cans of WD-40. Never leave home without them) List of all your powers and spells Note with your debt to The Doctor Nightshade's crayon drawing of you Magic black staff with a red crystal on top of it Pink "Lover's Jewel" Necklace Knock-out Luna Plushie TARDIS-blue Pen Inter-Dimensional Notebook Ponyville Library Card "Big Daddy armor" "Power Glove" Bag of Sugar 2 Boxes of "Lucky Oats" Cereal (no need to buy milk since you just borrow some from the Apples) 2 Large Bags of "Sour Cream & Onion" Potato Chips (they didn't have yours or Nightshade's favorite flavors) 2 Boxes of Snack cakes 3 Jars of Chocolate Peanut Butter 6 Cans of soup (3 Creamy Tomato, 3 Broccoli Cheese) 6 Boxes of whole-wheat crackers 6 Bags of Gummy Fruits 8 Bottles of cotton-candy flavored Ramune (Neighponese soda) 12 Instant Noodle Bowls (Special version that heats up when unicorn magic is applied)
Okay... not much of a improvement, but it's definitely better. I should probably check out my potion sash as well as update my list of spells and powers as well.
List of all your powers and spells -Royal Canterlot Voice -"Fus Ro Dah" shout -"No Shadow Kick" attack (Flurry of midair kicks) -"Falcon Punch" attack (Charged-up punch) -"Shoryuken" attack (Rising spinning uppercut) -Stun spell -Force Field spell -Teleport spell (Unreliable as short-range teleport often causes you to fall onto hard objects and long-range teleport randomly places you -anywhere in Equestria) -Advanced Healing (Apparently) -Shape Shifting (Unreliable as it only lasts a short time before failing at the worst moments) -Transformation spell (only works on Nightshade and even then it's not 100% reliable) -"Zoom" (Incantation spell that gives you long-range telescopic vision, but gives you a headache when spell is over)
-"Nightmare Cloak" (Midnight-colored smoke that surrounds you and gives you increase abilities and a long smokey fox tail, but only activates when extremely angry or when Nightshade is in danger and the whole "*snap*-followed-by-glowing-orange-eyes" thing has already happened)
-Power Glove (plasmid/vigor-channeling glove detached from "Big Daddy armor")
-Incinerate!: Sets target on fire
-Electro Bolt: Shoots a bolt of electricity
-Winter Blast: Freezes target
-Telekinesis: Allows you to levitate and move target
-Murder of Crows: Unleashes a flock of crows on targets (there has to be crows nearby for this move to work)
Whoa, that was indeed productive and TOTALLY not just some half-flanked attempt at expositional recap... To the meeting!
AT BERRY PUNCH'S BAR
As you walk down the secret entrance, you quickly hide behind a barrel as you...
Later at the meeting, you decide you will give the news as the Offender, donning the cloak, you walk in to the last meeting.
Put on your Hooded Offender/Nobody Coat while thinking,
If this is gonna be the last meeting, I might as well be the Hooded Offender when it happens. Although considering this place was already raided before, you'd think they'd have this meeting in the "Building that can only be seen by true Horde members". You sigh in annoyance before you continue, Besides, they'll take the news of the disbandment better if it's from the mouth of their 'leader'. Now all I need to do is-Hello...
As you approach the door to the meeting room, you spot Spike carrying Vinyl's portable music box. You smile as you get a brilliant idea for a entrance and walk over to the dragon,
"Hey Spike."
"Gah!" he says in surprise before he turns and sees that it's you, "Oh, sorry bout that."
"Don't worry about it. What are you doing with Vinyl's music box?"
"Oh, Vinyl asked me to bring it down here."
"Do you know how to use it?" you ask.
"Kinda, but-"
"Cool," you interrupt, "Cause I have an idea for an awesome entrance!"
With that, you whisper to him your plan. With a smile he nods his head. With that done you walk over to the door and...
Find out that Horde membership overall has shrunk due to Fillydelphia (Thunderlane has left the Ponyville Horde for example)
You look around at the... surprisingly tiny crowd in sadness at the fact that your awesome entrance didn't work. As you look at all the ponies here who are looking at you surprised/happy/scared, you can't help but think,
You see many members from before (including Octavia, Vinyl, Spike, Hondo "Magnum" Flanks, Lyra, and Raven) are there, but also that Sunshower Raindrops, Thunderlane, and Bon Bon aren't there.
Good, less ponies mean less chances of them getting hurt. Even so, I gotta remember to forget all these ponies. I can't risk them being exposed if I ever get caught in a memory projection spell. Anyway, I just need to-wait a minute?
You look around in confusion as you don't see the one pony who has to be here for this to work. You look over to a random member and ask,
"Hey, where's President Fluttershy?"
He looks at you in confusion and is about to say something when you hear,
You make an "eep" sound at just how mad Fluttershy sounds as you slowly turn around and see Fluttershy... glaring at you. But for some reason you don't think it's directed towards you per se. It's almost as if it's more directed towards something inside yo-
"Eep." you squeak as you feel yourself shrink in fear as all eyes are now on you and Fluttershy. Everypony there is looking at you and Fluttershy in shock, but you can't tell if it's over the fact that their president is yelling at the Hooded Offender or the fact that Fluttershy yelled at all! You chuckle nervously as you ask,
"S-so what do you need Fl-Fluttershy heheheh..."
Fluttershy's Stare intensifies as she says with barley contained rage...
“Uh... sure, hang on everypony. Just... hang out, get a drink, or something." you say as you follow Fluttershy to the secret staircase.
Fluttershy turns and continues to give you (or more accurately, Selena) the Stare...
*snap*
But you feel your eyes glow (probably invoked by Selena) to help counteract it.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” you whisper to Fluttershy.
“Was it you?” she asks your Skull mate.
“What are you talking about?” you whisper.
“Was it you?” she asks more forcefully.
Suddenly, you feel yourself being pushed back slightly in your mind as your mouth begins to speak on it's own.
“You best not be taking that tone with me you cowardly strumpet, if you know what’s good for you...” Selena threatens.
“Why, you evil... JERK!” Fluttershy counters.
“Oh I’M evil? What’s this I recall about you planning on executing me to steal MY daughter while forcefully molesting Bugze?”
Fluttershy looks embarrassed at that and stammers,
“Well- I- Um... You Meanie!”
“Really? That’s the best you got? I can think of better insults, like how thou art nothing but a-”
Deciding it would be better to stop Selena now before she said something you'd all regret, you manage to take back control of your body as you say...
“Alright, calm down, the both of you. Fluttershy wasn't even in control of her actions that day and you know it! Now what the hay is going on?”
“Have you been the one causing all the accidents recently?” Fluttershy asks, but with more concern this time.
“What? What are you talking about?”
“The Accidents! The Retirement home balcony collapsing, Twilight getting strung up, or the Balloon that mysteriously popped today? Did you cause them?”
“No, well except for the Twilight thing, but come on that was just a prank, I didn't do anything else!”
“Did she?” Fluttershy accuses as she points at your face into your head.
“Um, no, she doesn't really do anything that I’m not present for.”
If I could, you could bet that ‘beating FlutterB!%$# to a pulp’ would be my number one priority! Selena growls.
“But how could you think those were me?” you ask a bit hurt.
“Well... Twilight told us that that cute pegasus guard told her that all these accidents were intentionally caused. They said green slime was found, and I thought that since you’re a changeling that...”
“You thought I was trying to hurt ponies on purpose?! After Fillydelphia, that ain't funny Fluttershy,” you say with indignation.
“I just thought that maybe you were pranking and that she was causing you to go overboard, like you have in the past.”
“Why you little…” Selena starts with your mouth, but you quickly take back control with a shake of your head,
“Fluttershy, it’s not nice to jump to conclusions. You of all ponies should know that after that Hydra/Nightshade's pranking incident. I can guarantee you that all those serious accidents wasn't us."
“Oh... OK” she says as she now returns to looking solemn.
“And besides, I can’t even do that whole ‘Green Slime’ thing. At least never even barely well. Kind of led to some awkward moments actually...”
You look off at the wall for a few seconds before Fluttershy asks in a confused tone,
"Uh... Hoody, what are you looking at?"
You don't look at her as you focus on the wall as you say,
“Alright Maggots! Cocooning is one of the most important skills a changeling can learn. Not only does it allow you to drain more love even faster from targets, but when you are in the field, you will need to make sure the being you are impersonating does NOT show up. Now cocoon these dummies in less than ten seconds! NOW!” shouts a drill sergeant.
All the other recruits went to their assigned test dummy, but you were too deep in thought.
“Private 9001!” shouts the Sergeant startling you, “What in the Queen’s holy name are you doing?!”
You were too busy looking into a puddle of water at your newly shaved head in sadness. Your orange hair always made you unique amongst the male changelings (even if it was a source of your bullying. And only females had actual hair), and now it's gone. Not to mention it had only been a few months since Grandbuggy's banishment, so it was no surprise you weren't paying attention.
“Well!” shouts the sergeant.
“Sorry Sir! What do you need me to do?!” you hastily salute.
“Get to Cocooning you flankhole!” he orders.
You see the other chngelings wrapping some test dummies in a green slime cocoon. You've never seen anything like it (yes, you have been on missions with Grandbuggy before, but they usually went wrong before Grandbuggy could cocoon anypony and thus things tended to get... explody). The process they use to do it just makes you go-
“BLARGH” You cry as you lose your lunch right onto the sergeant.
You spent the rest of the day (and week for that matter) digging latrines.
That sound plays again as the world once again begins to ripple as we go back to the present...
PRESENT
Shaking off the flashback you say,
“But yeah, I don’t know anything about where that green slime could've came from."
Fluttershy looks at you blankly for a few seconds before she says,
"Bugze... I didn't see anythi-"
You ignore her as you interrupt,
"Hay, I don't even know anything about that new vigilante, whoever she or he is."
Fluttershy bites her lip at that bit of news, but you don’t notice as you say,
“Now, you go over to the Horde and get them ready for my speech, I need to get a drink before I faint from the pressure.” you say as you walk out up the stairs to the bar.
You're about to open the door when you remember,
Buck! I can't go into a public area dressed as a wanted fugitive! Back to Doctor mode...
With that, you change back into your Doctor clothes before opening the door and walking to the bar.
Let's see... Need something with a little kick, but also able to keep me up... *ding*
"Just thought you were a stallion is all," she smirks before downing an entire bottle of Haymeson Whiskey.
"Just shut up and do your job." you snap with a roll your eyes, but in doing so you see a scribble of notes on a bar napkin that say,
P.I. to Boss Cupid,
The chickens are calm, eager for what is to come. Sure wish I had a camera. I wonder if "Light of my Life" would like one for her birthday? Maybe I'll... Dark Rooster enters the hen house, big news written in how he stands. Hungry for the reveal, like I'm hungry right now, Boy a Daisy Sandwich sounds good right about now. Head Hen sheds normal feathers and clucks at him. Note to self, buy Provolone cheese, Hay Bacon, Peanut Butter...
And the note dissolves into a grocery list.
"Oookkkkaaayyyy...." you say as you put the napkin back down, "Seems like some sort of Poetry by someling who isn't a poet." you mutter as Berry comes back with your drink.
You down it and are about to pay when,
"Berry, it's on me." Magnum says as he hoofs Berry some Bits.
"Oh, Thanks." you say as you walk back to the secret staircase while Magnum grabs the napkin and puts it back into his pocket.
Just as you're about to reach the door to the secret staircase, you walk past two Horde members (evidenced by their not-so-hidden cloaks in their saddle bags) you overhear their conversation;
“Hey, have you noticed an orange pegasus going around town today knocking on random doors?” asks one.
“Oh yeah, the closet speciest. Yeah, he knocked on my door with the password for tonight, I thought he was a new member or something.” the other responds.
You facehoof because you can’t believe that Flash was actually knocking on every door. You then walk back to Berry and say,
“Hey, tell your bouncer that if he sees an orange pegasus with a blue mane, don't let him in even if he says the password.”
“Gotcha.” Berry says before calling Bulk over as you walk over to the secret entrance door.
As you walk down the stairs, you change back into the Hooded Offender coat-
After shaking off the fluttering Lunas, you open the door into the secret room, only to see all the Horde members bickering like little foals as they shout at each other...
"The Mysterious Mare Do Well is obviously just a cheap copy of the Hooded Offender, you traitor!" Lyra yells at another pony.
"The Mysterious Mare Do Well saved me and my baby the other day. What did the Hooded did for us? Thanks to killing that terrorist in Fillydelphia, we all need to look over our shoulders!" the other pony counters.
"Then how come you didn't throw away your cloak like that coward, Thunderlane!" Octavia yells.
While all this is going on, Fluttershy is looking between all of them, unsure what to say. You sigh as you give Fluttershy a sad nod as you walk up to the podium set up. You give a slight cough as you say,
"Attention."
Noling seems to notice you as they continue to argue. You sigh as you say little louder,
"ATTENTION!"
They still don't seem to hear you at all. You start to get annoyed as you activate the Royal Canterlot Voice and roar,
"OI! I'M TRYING TO TALK HERE!!!"
Finally, the Horde stop arguing among themselves as all eyes are now on you. You nod slightly as you say...
“First, I want to clear this up once and for all. Yes, it’s true; in Fillydelphia, I and I alone killed Flag Burner, even after he was already defeated...”
They look at you in shock as you continue,
“I regret what I’ve done, but it is what it is. Unfortunately, it didn't end with him. The Crimson Knights are still a threat that I have to deal with... alone.”
They all look confused at this.
“The Horde is over, starting tonight. It’s time for you to move on with your lives. Spread the word, burn your cloaks, and never come back.”
“But... some of us are only here because of you...” Octavia says.
“Ya man, we ain’t afraid of no Crimson Knights, we’ll help you,” Vinyl adds.
It looks like more are about to chime in on their side, but you cut them off,
“NO! NO MORE!!! I got blood on MY hooves, I don’t need any of you have the same!”
“But...” starts Octavia.
“No, this is the end. I won’t have any of you captured by the Royal Guard or killed by the Knights because of me.” you say sternly before you look to them all,
“I’ll always be thankful for the support you showed me. It was nice to know I wasn't alone... but it stops now. Fluttershy here will be sending letters to all Horde fractions telling them the same thing. Tonight marks the death of the Horde, and that is finale!”
“Please... don’t do this-” Octavia pleads only for Magnum to chime in,
“Hey now everypony, it’s his decision, and we have to respect that. It’s his call,”
You give a thankful nod to him and walk towards the door. As you begin to walk away you say in a cool, collected voice,
"From now on, you all hate me like the rest of Equestria. I'm nothing but a monster, a creature that should be feared and left alone. You stay away from me and you don't back me up. You are all nobodies, you will forget everyling here. You will all burn your cloaks, go back to your normal lives, and forget this ever happened. The Horde is dead. Live long and prosper, and remember that you must hate me...no matter what. This monster will live it's life in peace. And with that..."
The ponies and Spike all have tears in their eyes. but with a cape flourish you say,
“Goodbye.”
And teleport away.
BACK EXIT OF BERRY'S BAR
As you walk into the night, you are ambushed by Mare Do Well before you can take off the hood. “Oh good, Mare Do Well, just the mare I wanted to see.” She says nothing as she attacks you.
Your teleport working without a hitch for once, and you find yourself behind Berry's bar in the back alleys of Ponyville. As you walk off into the night, you're about to take off your hood when suddenly the Mysterious Mare Do Well lands right in front of you! After shaking off the surprise, you say,
“Oh good, Mare Do Well, just the pony I wanted to see-”
Suddenly the costumed vigilante blasts you with purple energy that you barely dodge with a roll,
"Oh, come on!" you groan before you quickly grab a nearby empty beer box and throw it at the Mysterious Mare Do Well. As she's disoriented by this, you say,
"So, we meet at last, Mare Do Well... Wait... Did I just say that?! Great, now I look like a supervilla-" *sok*
Distracted by your own rambling, you get hit in the face with a Karate-kick from the MMDW. Soon you find yourself on the defensive, barely dodging a flurry of Karate attacks before you manage to find a gap in her combo and-
"Shoryuken!"
Exploit the gap to hit her with a rising uppercut that sends her landing into a pile of garbage.
"Sorry about that, but from one Hero to another, Miss Do Well, Why the buck did you attack me? Also... Are you related to Daring Do?" you ask.
The costumed vigilante facehooves at your question, but suddenly the newspapers around her levitate in purple energy (the MMDW lying in the garbage seemed to be surprised at this too, but you don't notice) and suddenly form a wall of headlines in front of you that you start reading,
"Let's see... Appleloosa, Diamond Dog minions, The Gala, Discord's Return, Fillydelphia... Buck... Look, I can explain all of that if you will just listen for a few-*wham*
Suddenly you feel a pair of (oddly-familiar) back hooves slam into the side of your head and smash you into a nearby wall. After shaking it off and dislodging yourself just in time to dodge her rear hooves trying to buck your head in (and smashing into the wall cracking it even more), you say,
"Buck this! LOOK, A DISTRACTION!"
The Mysterious Mare Do Well is stunned for a couple of seconds, giving you the opportunity to escape down a nearby alley, but suddenly you run into another Mysterious Mare Do Well.
"What? B-but... How?" you stammer as you quickly look back and see the MMDW is no longer where she was when you distracted her and then look back to her in shock, "How did you get in front of me?"
The masked vigilante doesn't answer as she starts picking up and throwing nearby derbies and garbage at you that you barely manage to dodge. Suddenly you think,
Why do I suddenly feel the urge to eat mushrooms and save a Princess who's always in different castles?
Meanwhile in the mind of the Mare Do Well, she was also thinking,
Why do I suddenly want to eat bananas and kidnap a Princess before climbing in a tower full of platforms and ladders? Oh well, barrel time!
With that, the MMDW throws a barrel at you that you jump over and declare,
"Psycho Crusher!"
Before spin-slamming forward into her, knocking the mare into another garbage can. While she's down, you run off down another alley, but you suddenly look up and see another MMDW, but this time she's flying!
"What? An alicorn?" you stop in surprise as the MMDW flies behind a building and suddenly she leaps from the top of it while firing purple spells at you.
You dodge her blasts with weaving and rolls as she lands on the ground. Getting into another 'ready' stance, you decide to take a page out of the book of those action flicks you love and say,
"If that's how you want to do this, then fine! I'm the collection agency, Mysterious Mare Do Well! (*cracks neck*) And your butt is six month overdue!"
Soon the two of you are facing each other down in the back alleys of Ponyville as the moon and stars lie above. Soon you get bored by this atmosphere and say,
Suddenly, the costumed vigilante runs away leaving you stunned for a moment before you snap out of your surprise state long enough to call out to the MMDW (who is now running away from you with her horn glowing purple),
Sighing in sadness at most likely failing to convince the MMDW to give up his or her cape, you can't help but ask out loud in confusion,
"So... Did I win?"
I think so... But who could that alicorn be? Selena comments.\
"I don't know ei- Wait, alicorn?"
Did you not notice the spellcasting AND flying? I know it's not Luna as I could sense her from miles away-
"And Celestia would be too busy for a direct approach and I don't think Cadence would be the type to beat up criminals in costume... Who else could it be?" you add.
Perhaps Twilight has become an alicorn?
"...Nah!" you reject as you use all your willpower just to not laugh at the utterly ludicrous idea of Twilight becoming an Alicorn.
Since you now know that Mare Do Well is an Alicorn, you write to Cadance. “Hey Cadance, just wanted to call and check that you aren’t moonlighting as a vigilante for some reason and beating me to a pulp, because some Alicorn is.”
But as you head back to Sweet Apple Acres, you decide it's better to be safe than sorry and write to Cadance,
Hey Cadance, just wanted to ask if you were secretly moonlighting as a vigilante and beating up crooks cause some alicorn is doing just that. -Bugze
GOLDEN OAKS LIBRARY
Meanwhile back at the Golden Oaks library, the Mysterious Mare Do Well walks through the front door. As she does, she takes off her mask to revel a saddened Fluttershy who looks around the room before she says in a sad tone,
"I'm... I'm sorry girls, it's just that I... I can't fight him..."
Just as she says this, another Mysterious Mare Do Well appears! This one takes of her mask to reveal Rarity under it who gives Fluttershy a kind smile as she says,
"Nonsense Darling, he just took us all by surprise. Isn't that right girls?"
Just then Twilight, Applejack (who is eating a banana for some reason), and Pinkie (all wearing MMDW costumes with the mask off) enter the library as well. Twilight nods her head in determination as she tells the group of mares,
"Don't worry girls, next time we are going to get the Hooded Offender for sure!"
Pinkie bounces up and down excitedly as she shouts in excitement,
"Yeah!!! And then I'll make a 'Congratulations-We-Taught-Rainbow-Dash-a-Lesson-and-also-Captured-the-Evil-Hooded-Offender Party!' banner. There's gonna be a pinata of the Offender filled with candy and some rainbow cupcakes too! I'll even ask Rainbow to help me make them so it'll be ironic... What does ironic mean again?"
Just then, the sound of a door opening surprises the mares as they all quickly put their masks back on. Just in time too as Spike comes from the library door with a empty tube of ice cream and a sad expression on his face. He looks at the multiple MMDW's in front of him with a bored/mildly surprised expression as he says,
"Five Mysterious Mare Do Wells? Great... That's the last time I eat Ruby and Ice Cream before going to bed, what a strange dream... Good Night Mare Do Well's."
With that said Spike waves to the Mare Do Well's before heading back up the stairs. The mares look at where he went for a second before they all breathe a sigh of relief. As they take their costumes off, Applejack notices the conflicted look on Twilight's face. Having concern for her friend, Applejack asks her,
"You al'ight sugarcube? Ya seem a little put off."
Twilight just shakes her head as she says,
"It's nothing Applejack, just some doubts about the Hooded Offender as usual..."
Applejack chuckles as she says,
"Oh, that varmint is always causing trouble. Y'all get him, I know we will. It's not like he's hiding under our noses right?"
Completely ignoring the intense feeling of irony she feels, Twilight chuckles as she says,
"Yeah, you're right. See you girls tomorrow."
As the mares begin to leave, Twilight conflicted look appears again as she thinks,
What was with the Offender? Why'd he warn me to stop being a the Mysterious Mare Do Well? He said I was going to fall down a dark path like him... what does he mean by that? Does he mean when he killed that terrorist? Oh... This is all too confusing. Why... why do I feel like I'm missing something? Something... important?
Twilight holds her head in pain for a second, before she thinks,
Ugh...this is all too confusing! The next time we fight the Hooded Offender. I might just have to interrogate him myself before we hoof him over the the guards...
With that thought in mind, Twilight heads off to bed.. . P.O.V CHANGE: Bugze (you)
THE NEXT DAY
The Next Morning You find yourself hurriedly drinking down one of your disguise potions after finding yourself dragged into the Spa by the most likely of individuals. Earlier
We see you being hurriedly dragged to the spa by Flash Sentry as you quickly down one of your Transformation Potions.
Wait, I think we're forgetting something...
Oh yeah, it would probably be best to explain how this situation even happened in the first place. You see, earlier this morning...
THAT MORNING
Eat breakfast with the Apples and Apple Bloom expresses her jealousy that Nightshade gets to have sugary cereal for breakfast (1 1/2 Boxes of "Lucky Oats" cereal remaining). This leads to the Apples expressing concern about Nightshade's diet an youd counter she eats plenty of vegetables (Sweet Potato pie, Carrot cake, Caramel Corn, Sour Cream & Onion Potato chips, etc.) Apple tree almost falls on you while you're working.
We see you and Nightshade eating breakfast with the Apples. They're having biscuits and gravy with orange juice while you and Nightshade are having "Lucky Oats" cereal (1 bowl for you and 3 bowls for Nightshade, 1 1/2 Boxes of "Lucky Oats" cereal remaining)
Apple Bloom looks from her dish to Nightshade's bowls in envy and asks,
"How come I ain't get to have any sugary cereal for breakfast?"
"Cause that overly-sweet sugar-drowned hogwash ain't good fer ya." Granny Smith says.
"Eyup." Big Macintosh adds before Granny Smith rambles,
"Not only that, but Nightshade gets to eat potato chips, fast food, and sweets every day." Apple Bloom adds in envy.
"That's because Mistah Tennant pays for Nightshade's food with his own hard-earned Bits." Applejack points out.
"Eyup." you and Nightshade agree.
"But still, I'm concerned about yer eating habits." Applejack says in concern.
"A little growing filly like that needs mor vegetables in her diet." Granny Smith adds.
"Hey, I feed my baby plenty of vegetables." you protest, "Like carrot cake, caramel corn, fried pickle-flavored potato chips, onion rings with extra ketchup, coconut cream pi-"
"THEM AIN'T VEGETABLES!" the four Apples all exclaim at the same time.
"Well in case you haven't noticed, Nightshade has a HUGE appetite and so-called 'junk food' comes in larger quantities for less bits than normal veggies. Besides, I eat plenty of 'junk food' and I feel fine."
"And I take after daddy!" Nightshade adds.
Of course, you don't mention the fact that changelings can normally survive on love alone and thus can eat almost anything (even stale and slightly rotten food) without ill effect. Fortunately, the conversation ends when Apple Bloom and Nightshade have to get to school so soon it's work as usual for you... Except for the fact that three Apple trees fell down and almost squashed you. After tree number 3, Applejack sent you off to sort the cider down in the Apple's farm basement. While you were working you found...
INSECT SWARM Nothing clears a room like swarms of insects! One sip and you'll be a one pony plague! Now in honey flavor! Warning: Allergy hazard; Insects. Not compatible with the Murder of Crows vigor and will replace it if consumed
You look at the bottle in confusion and comment,
"Who the hay even thought up a fully functional Big Daddy suit with working plasmids? And how did it even end up in a 'Barnyard Bargins' in Ponyville?"
CLASSIFIED LABORATORY, ONE WEEK BEFORE NIGHTMARE NIGHT
"YES! My masterpiece is complete!" the mad scientist declares as he flips a large switch revealing a suit of underwater armor with a drill on one hoof along with a table with several bottles on it.
A goat wearing a labcoat standing next to the mad scientist suggests,
"Um... Are you sure the flaws in this design haven't been completely ironed out yet, sir?"
"Don't be a simpleton. It's perfect in every way! Just one battalion of these babies and those stupid mermares will be utterly crushed within a week!" The mad scientist dismisses.
"Well... What about the 'Murder of Crows' and 'Insect Swarm' 'plasmids/vigoors' (as you call them)? Those two just seem rather repetitive and I'm pretty sure birds and bees can't work underwater."
"Clearly you've never been to a brothel Jacuzzi." the mad scientist comments.
"What about the ice, electricity, or fire? Underwater?" the goat points out, emphasizing the last words.
"Surprise! Those Merponies will never ever expect fire underwater! These suits will be the drills that will pierce the heavens!"
"Ah, that must be the mailmare. Go get what's left of the mail and bring me my usual." the mad scientist continues as if nothing has happened.
"One mug of coffee with 5 cc's of malt vinegar from a syringe, a splash of Naga Viper hot sauce poured from exactly 3.14 meters, 4 nutrient pills crushed with a chainsaw, and 2 sugars. Got it."
The goat walks over to the mail slot while muttering,
"I could have accepted my brother's offer to work for that minotaur with the successful self-help seminars and gotten free dental, but noooooo. I wanted to apprentice under the 'great scientist'-"
The goat ceases his disgruntled muttering and his eyes widen when he sees an important document. He turns to the mad scientist and says,
"Uh sir? Looks like we're out of a job... Again."
"WHAT?!!!" the mad scientist screams in disbelief.
"I have the letter of termination right her-"
The mad scientist runs over and snatches the document, reading furiously.
"A peace treaty with Aquastria!!! Of all the-"
"So what are we going to do with the prototype, sir?"
"Hmm... Nightmare Night is coming soon so just sell the prototype to the nearest store. Also, throw those bottles to the winds, I have no further use for them."
"Doesn't that seem like a HUGE waste of all the resources poured into-"
"Hush minion! I'm getting an idea! I shall take the blueprints and modify them into pony-piloted mechas to punch Ursas in the face!!"
BACK TO NOW
You're about to drink the plasmid when you hear,
"Mistah Tennant! Big Mac! Get up here!"
You put the plasmid away and head upstairs.
"Insect Swarm" plasmid added to Inventory
After all that, Applejack had called both you and Big Red to... fix her bed. You have no clue as to why she needed two ponies, okay... 1 pony and a changeling, but still you and Big Red went to work. After fixing her bed, we find you both on the front porch drinking ice-cold lemonade on break and you ask Big Red...
“So Red, how’s the honeymoon been treating ya?” you ask him causing him to do a spit take.
“I uh... don’t know what yer talking about...” he stammers.
“Uh huh, and you just hang out with your 'Wife' all night for your health?”
He just coughs nervously and doesn't answer which you smirk at. Thankfully for Big Red, your brother from another mother Flash decides to land near you.
“Hey Baker, how ya doin?”
“Pretty good Flash. I mean outside of almost getting crushed by some apple trees (probably wanting revenge for all those mashed apples), pretty good.”
Flash winces a little in concern before he gets an idea and says,
“Hey! I got free tickets that expire today, you wanna join?” he asks.
“Well I’m kind of on the clock, unless Big Red says it-”
“Eyup!” he interrupts a little too quickly.
“Oh, you sure? Cause I thought...”
“Nope!” he says, clearly not wanting to continue your conversation.
“Alright, thanks man.” Flash says as he grabs your hoof and drags you off.
Turns out, the Tickets were for a free Spa day for two. Flash received them from Lotus after the Loveocalypse as an apology for going all Zangief on him. He could've given you a heads up though so as he entered the door, you quickly downed a Transformation potion (3 Transformation potions remaining).
BACK TO NOW, AT THE SPA
You're now in your Pony body (dark-grey unicorn with normal blue eyes (still sporting that diagonal eye scar from Fillydelphia), orange mane and tail, and a midnight yin-yang Cutie Mark) as you and Flash walk into the spa area.
“Whoa, your eyes look totally different without all your stuff on” Flash comments.
“Quit looking at my eyes!” you snap at him.
You feel nervous about running into Aloe, but when you reach the back, you realize it’s much worse than running into Aloe, because all of the Deadly Six are here!
Fluttershy still looks a bit sad from last night, but Applejack and Rainbow are visually checking out your body with approving lusty looks in their eyes, causing you to blush, but then your blush turns into an annoyed glare as you say,
"Do I need to remind you two that I have restraining orders on standby?"
Rainbow and Applejack's eyes widen this as they quickly shake their heads back and forth and look away... but they still make side glances at you. You sigh slightly as you feel somepony rubbing your shoulders as someling says,
“Oh, so good to see you out of your clothes again Mr. Tennant,” Aloe purs.
“Baker? Flash? What are you two doing here?” asks Twilight.
“Lotus gave me a free ticket for two that expires today and I thought, why not?” Flash answers.
“Does Big Mac know you’re here?” Applejack asks.
“Eyup.” you answer causing some of them to chuckle a bit.
“Ah yes, I had lost hope in you coming in Mr. Sentry,” says Lotus. "Again, I deeply apologize for my behavior on Hearts and Hooves Day."
"As I said before, don't worry about it." Flash brushes off, "Besides, if I'm gonna get clobbered, at least it was in the style of my favorite Street Brawler character."
Lotus giggles as she says,
“Please help yourself to the Mudbaths while we finish with the girls.”
“And Me!” Spike chimes in with Cucumbers in his eyes.
You laugh nervously as the girls eye you and jump into the mudbath. Pretty soon, everyone starts gossiping over the Foal Free Press. As they do this, you notice out of the corner of your eyes...
Featherweight peeking through a window with a camera. You grab a bit of mud from the bath and throw it at the window.
"What was that for?" Lotus protests.
"Saw a... bug! Yeah, a pesky... Shutterbug. Hehehe."
The ponies give you odd looks before going back to their conversation. You see Featherweight at another window, glaring daggers at you. Seeing that the other ponies (and dragon) in the room are distracted by their conversation, you sneak over to the window and open it.
"What was that?!" Featherweight whispers.
"I told you no pictures of me or Nightshade!"
"You're not the only pony in the room, you know." Featherweight protests.
You bite you lip, lost in thought for a moment,
The kid's got a point, but if he takes a picture at the wrong time, he could accidentally catch me without my disguise. Who knows when this potion will drop, and if he takes a picture when it does at the right angle while I'm in the mud bath....ugh I can't even think about it. I got lucky with Thunderlane's pictures so I am NOT taking another risk like that...
With that thought, you shake your head and say,
"Doesn't matter. If I'm around somepony, they're off limits too."
"That was never part of our deal!"
"I am altering the deal. Pray I don't alter it any further!" You sternly say before slamming the window.
"What do you have against windows, Mr. Tennant?" Lotus snaps at you
"We do have a room with none of them..." Aloe teases, but Lotus cuts her off before you can have a nosebleed,
"Yes, sister, it's called the broom closet. And you'll be seeing an awful lot of it this week if you don't control yourself around our guests."
"Lotus..." Aloe pouts causing most of the mares in the room (and you) to roll your eyes before they continue their conversation while you take a look at the Foal Free Press copy Rainbow brought in. Seeing something you like, you chime in...
“This Gabby Gums is a hoot, I can’t believe Princess Celestia is such a Glutton.” you say to Flash as you show him the picture of Celestia stuffing her face with cake. Instead of laughing, he gets a distant look on his face and shudder,
“It’s not so funny when you’re there in person...” he says, clearly having a traumatic flashback.
"I couldn't agree more..." Twilight adds, also shivering.
To liven the mood, you flip the page and laugh about how the Mayor dies her mane grey,
“Why in the world would you want to look older?”
“I know, what a garish thought,” Rarity agrees.
“Still, this Gabby Gums is just tabloid journalism with no respect for anypony's privacy.” Twilight scolds.
“Lighten Up, Twilight, she ain’t hurtin no one.” Applejack counters.
“Yeah, she’s just some kid finding her talent. Heck, maybe the girls know who she is.” you comment.
“And besides, they’re not the front page headlines, just the minor gossip pages,” Flash adds.
“Yeah, the really exciting story is the front page about Mare Do Well!” Pinkie excitedly says as she holds up the newspaper.
Dash looks upset at that as Twilight smirks,
“Yes, now that is certainly a great piece of news."
“I for one just love her costume.” Rarity comments.
“I think she’s great for helping others.” Fluttershy adds.
“Hey, she’s not that great...” Dash mumbles.
“Not that great? Take a look at this article that Gabby did on her,” says Pinkie.
The Picture shows Mare Do Well stopping a runaway cab with only her rear legs, while Rainbow Dash is in an unflattering position in the dirt, which you, Flash, and (strangely) Applejack smirk at.
“Hey! I could’ve stopped that if she wasn’t there! Besides, she’s not cool enough to show her face like I am, she’s a coward... Ooo, write that one down Spike, I gotta use that later.”
Spike gets out a notepad and says aloud as he writes,
“Coward... no face... Got it!”
Twilight rolls her eyes at this.
“Yeah, she’s clearly hiding something. She’s a menace to society.” you agree with Dash, causing everyone to look at you strangely.
“What? She's a masked vigilante and those lead to nothing but trouble. I learned that first-hoof." you say, gesturing to your eye scar.
The ponies (and dragon) in the room all look down in sadness (realizing what you're referring to) while Dash looks at you with a combination of thankfulness and sympathy.
“Thank you! Finally somepony who sides with me.”
“Oh lighten up Rainbow. Why don't you join me in one of these delicious hooficures?" Rarity suggests.
“Is it really that good?” Rainbow Dash asks, to which everyone agrees. Hay, even you agree, a Hooficure feels awesome (even if you do have to ruin it an hour later Falcon Punching an apple tree).
"Well, maybe just one little hoof..."
She reluctantly tries to have one, but she freaks out and declares that she can’t stand anyone touching her hooves, which Spike makes a note of in his notebook. While she freaks out, you notice a cardboard box sneaking into the corner of the room. While the Deadly 6 are distracted by something Spike said, you storm over and grab and grab the box while saying,
"Lousy try kid. That trick doesn't work for me and it's certainly not going-"
you stop in your tracks when you throw it away revealing... a colt you've never seen before sitting under it.
"Hi." he says.
"And just what are you doing here?" you ask the colt with a deadpan look on your face.
"Featherweight paid me a bit to walk in with a box over my head." he shrugs.
You spin around to see Featherweight snap a picture from the second window. He smirks at you before flying away, but you throw a glob of mud after him with a snarl. You then sigh as you tell the other colt,
"Kid, you may want to get out of here before Lotus catches you and puts you in a limblock."
And head back to the mudbath and sit back in your seat as the colt takes your warning and bolts out of there.
“What’d you do that for?” Flash asks.
“Gotta show the kids the pecking order” you comment.
“Still, that's not very nice” he says.
“Don't sweat it. It’ll be fine...”
SOMEWHERE NOT FINE
“Big Brother, a mean stallion threw mud at me!” Featherweight whines, “And he threatened to burn my heart out for doing my job!”
“WHAT!” an enraged Bulk Biceps roars.
BACK AT THE SPA
A Shiver comes over you,
“Just... fine...”
Must you always tempt Lady Luck, you fool...
POV CHANGE: NIGHTSHADE
Nightshade and the girls are standing before Diamond Tiara at her editor desk,
“You four have done well, but we need more! I need pictures, Pictures of Spider-Mane!”
“But he’s a fictional character” Apple Bloom comments.
“I mean Mare-Do-Well. If you can find her in a Spider-Mane outfit, that would be even better! Gabby Gums put the Foal Free Press on the map, but getting something juicy on the most talked-about superhero in town will make me the greatest newspaper mogul in history since Citizen Mane!”
Luna, the Mysterious Mare Do Well has been done to death! Nightshade thinks, I got an even bigger. better, juicer story that will blow that cheap copycat of Daddy out of the ocean! The only problem is...
“Should I rat out Daddy to further my own career and help my friends get their Cutie Marks?" Nightshade mumbles to herself.
What should Nightshade do?
Episode 64: EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT! NEW PLOT ELEMENTS AHOOF!
Nightshade shouldnt rat her father out because if she does every single being in equestria will lock him in a cell throw banish him to the everfree banish the everfree to the moon and banish the moon to the sun
As Editor-in-Chief Diamond continues to rant about how popular her paper is (attention hog), Nightshade begins to think about whether or not she should expose her father,
I don't think ratting out Daddy is a good idea. I mean if I did that, then every single big meany who doesn't like my Daddy (for some reason) in Equestria will lock him in a cell, banish him to the Everfree, banish the Everfree to the moon...
Nightshade's eyes widen in horror as she thinks,
An-and then they would banish the moon to the sun! There's no way I can squeal on Daddy! What kind of daughter would I be if-
Just as she's about to finish her thought, Nightshade notices her friends' blank flanks and remembers,
Wait a minute, the whole reason we joined this bucking newspaper was to get our Cutie Marks!
With that thought in mind Nightshade thinks,
Nightshade, whatever you do, DO NOT sell out your father. The implications of doing so are so undeniably bad, I won't even BEGIN to describe them! Actually I will, just to make a point! Pros - have awesome story, help friends get cutie marks and all that good stuff Cons - father imprisoned, you'll probably never see your father again or all that delicious food that you crave so often! Blood is thicker than water, Nightshade! Several times thicker, in fact!
The best thing to do here appears to be to compare the positives and negatives that each situation would entail. And so: Negatives to betraying your father- He gets caught, thrown in jail, you get placed into a foster service, and you never see each other again Positives to betraying your father- You get the biggest story of your lifetime, advance on a career in journalism, become rich and famous- maybe even rich enough to bail out your dad. Results- The positives have a possibility to outweigh the negatives, but as its not a 100% chance, you probably shouldn't do it.
Nightshade puts on her thinking face as she begins to mentally put together a pros and cons list of rating out her dad;
Pros: The newspaper gets a awesome story, I can help my friends get their cutie marks, I can advance on my career in journalism, and I can become rich and famous- maybe even rich enough to bail out my Daddy outta the sun!
Cons: Daddy goes to jail, never see Daddy again, could get placed into a orphanage run by a mean evil 'caretaker' who..."
Nightshade's eyes widen in horror as she thinks of the most horrible, terrible, and just plain awful thing that can happen to her if she rats out her dad,
Will force me to eat tiny healthy meals! That's it, I've made up my mind!
Nightshade's thinking face turns into a look of determination as she thinks,
I'm not gonna rat my Daddy out! Blood is thicker than water as they say. Plus while the pros might be more than the cons, it's not a 100% chance so I probably shouldn't do it. Now I'll I need to do is find the Mysterious Mare Do Well and-
But before Nightshade can finish her thought, she begins to think back and forth between the pros and cons again. So much so that she begins to think in panic,
Should I? Should I not? Yes? No? Yes? No? Yes? N- WHY ARE DECISIONS SO HARD TO MAKE?! Nightshade thought. "Nightshade?" Applebloom asked. "my name is Jeff!" Nightshade randomly shouted. "Who's Jeff?" Sweetie Belle asked curiously. "I don't know." Nightshade answered. "Anyway I need you four to bring me the juiciest story of them all! That way I- er the Foal Free Press will become the most popular newspaper in Equestria!" Diamond Tiara ordered.
Should I? Should I not? Yes? No? Yes? No? Yes? N- WHY ARE DECISIONS SO HARD TO MAKE?!
"Nightshade?" Apple Bloom asks causing Nightshade to snap and randomly shout,
"My name is Earl!"
"Who's Earl?" Sweetie Belle asks.
"I have no bucking idea." Nightshade answers.
"Anyway, I need you four to bring me the juiciest story of them all! That way I- er the Foal Free Press will become the most popular newspaper in Equestria!" Diamond Tiara orders.
Before Nightshade has a chance to give a snarky swear-filled comeback,, Sweetie Belle says,
“Yes, we need more juicy stories to fluff out the paper, it can’t be all about Spider Do Well!” Diamond Tiara exclaims.
“Mare Do Well,” Scootaloo corrects.
“YES! Her! Whatever! Give me more! MORE!” Diamond says while twitching.
“Are... are you OK?” Apple Bloom asks in concern for Diamond's sanity.
“I’ve never been better. This newspaper is gonna propel me to the big leagues. Before you know it, I'll be a big media mogul. Then I'll use my influence to bankrupt my daddy and then absorb Barnyard Bargains, then he’ll be the one grounded for doing things I don’t like because I’ll have all the money!” she says with deranged Pinkie Pie-esque quickness.
“The heck is up with her?” Scootaloo asks Nightshade.
“I've been putting double espresso beans into her morning juice,” she smirks.
“Now get out there and get me a story! Who knows what daddy is saying behind my back as we speak...” Diamond says in a cryptic paranoid tone.
ELSEWHERE
Filthy Rich lies on a psychologist couch as he explains his woes to a pony in a labcoat.
“I love my daughter doc, but it just seems like she’s getting worse each day, are you sure your method is working?” asks a distraught Filthy.
“Of course, the only way to deal with Bratius Childreness is to simply ignore the problem until it goes away, preferably by covering your ears and going la la la la.” replies Dr. Quacksalver who is eating Fun Dip.
“And that’s what I have been doing, but she keeps calling other children names and abusing our butler.”
“You must ignore these events, they simply aren’t happening. You will see that once she is done being a teenager and moves out with her latest colt-toy, everything will be fine.”
“But she’s not even a teenager yet.” Filthy points out.
“Oh... oh my. Then I suggest booze, lots and lots of booze.”
“Way ahead of you there doc.” Filthy says as he takes out a flask and takes a swig.
“Just plotting my demise I know it. For all I know he’s Spider-Mane...” she says with a sip of juice before suddenly jumping back up and exclaiming.
“Everypony! You’re all fired! Get out!”
“What?!” everypony in the room yells.
“Shut up! Quit yelling and get back to work!” she yells before slamming her head into the desk and then immediately lifting it back up.
“Now where was I? Oh yes, Spider Mane Do Well. She could be anypony, even one of my star journalists..."
She glares/stares at the Cutie Mark Crusaders before shaking her head and saying,
"No, that’s ridiculous, that’s what they’d want me to think...”
The CMC decide to just tiptoe back from the rambling Filly.
As Nightshade and the CMC sneak out the door to Diamond's 'office' and head towards the exit, suddenly Sweetie Belle facehoofs and says,
Nightshade was walking around, when suddenly Sweetie Belle stop "Oh no... I forgot my saddlebag in the reunion with Diamond Tiara" Comment Sweetie Belle "Crap, well, we can go later when Diamond Tiara is not here" Say Apple Bloom "But I have my homework in there, I can't go later, not to say that if Rarity see me without the saddlebags she is going to be angry with me" Say Sweetie Belle "Then let's go together, and if Diamond say something, she will have to go with me first" Say Nightshade "And with me" Say Scootaloo and Apple Bloom at the same time "Thank you girls, come on!!" Say Sweetie as they run The CMC run to the room when they listen Diamond Tiara talking with Silver Spoon
"Oh no... I forgot my saddlebag in the reunion with Diamond Tiara!"
"Darn. Well, we can git it later when Diamond Tiara's not here." Apple Bloom responds.
"But my homework's in there! Not to mention that if Rarity sees me without the saddlebags she made for me, she is going to be angry at me" Sweetie Belle protests.
"Then let's go together, and if Diamond causes troublethen that hyped-up motherbucker will have to go through me first!" Nightshade says.
"And me!" Scootaloo and Apple Bloom say at the same time.
"Thanks girls, come on!!" Sweetie Belle says as they head back into the office and are about to enter when they hear Diamond Tiara talking with Silver Spoon
"I need proof! This is bigger then the Mare Do Well, The Hooded Offender and Spider-Mare all together! With this, everypony is going to know the name Diamond Tiara!" Diamond declares with a deranged grin.
Meanwhile the CMC look at each other on the other side of the door before they turn to look at Nightshade as Sweetie Belle asks,
"Wow, are you a Alicorn? Like a actual one?"
Scootaloo gives Sweetie a deadpanned look as she says,
"What? Are you actually going to believe Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon? Of course it's a lie! We've all seen Nightshade without her vest on before and she didn't any wings on her, remember?"
Apple Bloom nods her head at this as she says,
"Yeah, Nightshade is our friend and she wouldn't hide anything from us... Right Nightshade?"
Nightshade looks around nervously before she says,
"Uh? Ah... Err... Of course"
Sweetie shakes her head as she says,
"Maybe Mr. Tennant is an Alicorn?"
Nightshade's eyes widen in panic as she shouts,
"What? No!"
Sweetie doesn't seem to notice the annoyed deadpanned look she's getting from Apple Bloom, but Scootaloo buys into this crackpot theory as she says in a excited tone,
"Of course, how could I not see! It's because that Rainbow Dash seems to act strange around him... The Awesomeness of an Alicorn is in conflict with Rainbow Dash's awesomeness, even when Mr. Tennant is hidden under those bandages! Which is because it could be too awesome; Tennant's Alicorn Awesomeness and the Awesomeness of Rainbow Dash could create a Awesome bomb that will destroy Ponyville!"
Apple Bloom gets an exasperated look on her face as she says,
"Are ya'll even listening to yourselves? We've MET him a couple of times without the bandages, and he looks just like a normal unicorn, and we've also seen Nightshade without her vest and she's just a regular unicorn too. If thems alicorns, then where thar wings?"
Scootaloo and Sweetie just get a blank faces as they say,
"Magic"
"But what about-" Says Apple Bloom.
"More Magic"
"And wha-"
"Even more magic!"
Apple Bloom just rolls her eyes and looks over to Nightshade as she asks,
"Is there something you don't wanna tell us?"
Before Nightshade can say anything, Diamond yells from her office,
"WHAT ARE YOU FOUR SLACKERS DOING? IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR FLANKS IN GEAR AND A JUICY STORY ON MY DESK BY THE END OF THE DAY THEN YOU'RE ALL FIRED! AND I'LL MAKE SURE YOU BLANK-FLANKS MAKE THE FRONT LINES OF BEING THE LAMEST PONIES IN TOWN!"
Nightshade and the CMC bolt out of the press room as fast as they can. As they do, Nightshade can't help but think,
Oh no! What the buck am I gonna do now!? If I don't rat out my dad, then we'll all get fired and be called the biggest dumbflanks in town! Even though I'll just sic Pumpkin and Poundcake on Diamond for doing that, it might ruin my friends! I can't let that happen! Oh... what would Daddy do in this situation?
As soon as she thinks this, Nightshade suddenly images in a thought bubble,
"Ahhhhhhhhhhh*whack*!!!", An Imaginary Bugze running in circles screaming in panic before stepping on a rake.
After shaking off the gardening instrument, Imaginary Bugze says,
"Okay... Bugze, calm down... what would Grandbuggy do in this situation?"
A imaginary bubble opens within the Imaginary bubble but it's empty.
"Hey, why is that bubble empty?" Nightshade asks.
"Sorry, I'm just a piece of your imagination, you never met Grandbuggy so you have no idea what he looks like." Imaginary Bugze responds.
"Shoot." Nightshade groans as the Imaginary Bugze and the imaginary bubbles disappear.
That didn't help at all! Maybe I should just turn him i-
Nightshade's thought is suddenly ended as a burst of determination hits her from outta nowhere,
Your unbreaking loyalty to your father quickly overcomes any thoughts of betraying him. A quick deduction of the situation and past experience proves that any chance of your friends getting their Cutie Marks from this is sadly none. With this in mind, you decide to just go along and watch the fireworks.
Burn that thought. Burn it with fire. You will never rat out your father. You're better than that, Nightshade.
You know what, buck it! I'm never gonna rat out my Daddy! He's the best Daddy in the world, and there's nothing that's gonna make me want to give him up. So I'm just gonna burn the thought of betraying my Daddy outta my head. Besides...
Nightshade looks sadly at her friends (as they are now walking out of the school) as she thinks,
Knowing our history, we're probably not gonna earn our Cutie Marks anyway. I might as well just go along and watch the fireworks. It's not like anything bad is gonna happ-what the buck?
Nightshade stares at the scene before her in complete confusion as she sees,
That the playground seems divided into three groups wearing different costumes and they appear to be arguing with each other. Some are wearing Rainbow Wigs, others Mare Do Well Hats and suits, and yet some are wearing long scarves, trench coats, and even panama hats.
“What’s this all about?” Nightshade asks.
“Oh, it’s the new turf war” Scootaloo says.
“Huh?”
“Well, ever since Mare Do Well showed up, the Rainbow Dash fan club has been split down the middle, and the two factions don’t get along” says Scootaloo.
“And then there are the fans of your dad who are growing in numbers, they call themselves The Tennants” says Sweetie.
Nightshade notices that most of her dad's fanclub consist of the Colt Army from the Heart’s and Hooves Day incident, though there are a few fillies here and there.
“Yeah, they try to keep the peace between the two sides, but somehow or another there’s always a fight.” says Apple Bloom.
“Sounds familiar,” Nightshade comments, “But I can’t believe there's a fan club to my daddy and I’m not the leader of it! I was his first fan before it was cool!... Not that I’m a hippie-ster or anything,” she says with a shiver.
“Well I personally don’t want to be a part of any of it, I like Rainbow Dash, Mare Do Well, and Mr. Tennant equally,” Scootaloo says sadly. “Can’t we all just get along?”
Suddenly there's a flashbulb and everypony sees Featherweight.
“Oooo, that sounds like the headline for this story.” he says.
“Good thinkin Featherweight,” comments Apple Bloom, “Now let’s get out of here before they all start fighting again."
"Can't we just beat up everypony... for peace?" Nightshade says,
"But if we do that, we'll all get detentions and groundings and thus we'll never get our Journalism Cutie Marks." Apple Bloom comments.
"Oh." Nightshade comments.
“Anyway girls, you’ll never guess what I just got on camera at the spa!” Featherweight chimes in.
“What?” the fillies all ask.
“Follow me.”
He leads the CMC to his Dark Room where Photos are processed and shows you a picture of... Rainbow Dash at the Spa getting a Hooficure.
“Whoah... I didn't know she was such a softie.” comments Sweetie.
“Hey! She’s still cool, she’s just... relaxing,” stammers Scootaloo.
“I don’t know Scoots, this right here is the perfect story,” says Apple Bloom.
“Yeah, the warring factions will eat it up." Nightshade agrees.
“Actually, this isn't the photo I wanted to show you, but here you go,” he says as he hoofs over the Dash Photo, “this is what I wanted to show you.” he says as he pulls out a picture of... Bugze as a changeling (Luckily his scarred eye is not shown and the angle is low enough to not show off your orange spiky hair).
Nightshade gulps nervously at this, but all the other girls don't notice as they're surprised at this.
“How did you get this?” Nightshade asks.
“I was at the spa trying to get a good angle for when my big brother pummels Nightshade’s dad-”
“Wait, what?” Nightshade says, but is ignored.
“But he was already gone, instead I see this Changeling run into a closet and not come out. When I went inside, he was gone.”
“Oh wow, I wonder who he could be?” asks Sweetie.
“Should we report this to the guards?” asks Scootaloo. "This could be the start of another changeling invasion!"
"Wait, another changeling invasion?" Nightshade asks in confusion.
"Yeah. Around almost a year ago, Queen Chrysalis attacked and replaced everypony in Ponyville and kidnapped us, but our sisters and friends were able to beat them back and save us." Sweetie Belle says.
Scootaloo then adds,
"Yeah you should have been there! There was fighting, and giant spiders, and comets, and Twilight going all TASTE THE FRIENDSHIP MOTHERBU-"(*)
“I don’t know, this sounds like a fantastic story!” Apple Bloom interrupts.
“Um... maybe we shouldn’t run it?” Nightshade hesitantly says.
“Oh come on, this is way bigger than Mare Do Well, if we bust this story open, we’re sure to get our cutie marks” Sweetie comments.
Nightshade thinks for a moment,
True they don’t know it’s Daddy, so it technically wouldn't count as ratting him out. It’s just a random Changeling running around...
“OK, let’s do it... but we should probably try and look for other stories as well as... we got a whole issue to fill!” she says.
The Cutie Mark Crusaders and Featherwight nod their heads at Nightshade's idea. After that she says,
"Okay, me and Apple Bloom will go check out the apple's attic for anything good. Scoot's, Sweetie, and Feather will go into a bush near the mares side of hot spring in town and take pictures of any Peeping Toms!"
With the roles decided, the CMC and Featherwieght head out...
LATER, SWEET APPLE ACRES
We see Apple Bloom and Nightshade rummaging around in the attic.
“What exactly are we looking for again?” asks Nightshade.
“Something from my Granny’s time, if we find some gossip from the olden days, the old folks will love it,” says Apple Bloom.
As she searches through a crate, a photo album falls out. Nightshade picks it up and see Granny Smith as a young mare posing for pictures.
“Hey Bloom, check this out,” she says.
“Oh hey, it’s Granny during her traveling days... the hay?”
The thing is, some of the pictures appear to be out in space, or with creatures that she has never seen before. A few of the photos even show a stallion with a long scarf and frizzy hair standing in front of a Big Blue Box.
“It couldn't be...” Nightshade comments.
“That there looks like yer dad’s scarf Shade,” Apple Bloom comments.
A few more photos show Granny Smith with a stallion in a bowler hat. He seems familiar, and he looks an awfully lot like Bugze...
“Huh, wonder who those stallions are, and... why is he kissing my Granny?!” cries Apple Bloom,
They both see one last picture of young Granny Smith sharing a passionate kiss with the stallion in the bowler hat.
“That sure as heck ain't my Grand Pappy!”
“Must have been an old coltfriend,” Nightshade comments.
“Alright, I’m done, I don’t want to see anymore,” she says rubbing her eyes as she walks down the stairs.
“OK, something’s up with this picture,” Nightshade says, “I better hold onto it.”
"Granny Smith/Doctor photo" "Granny Smith/Bowler Hat Pony photo" Added to Saddle Bag
As Nightshade and Apple Bloom head down the stairs, Nightshade lets out a loud yawn and smacks her lips tiredly as she says,
"Hey Bloom, why don't you go back to the press room with what we got. I'm gonna hit the hay early."
Apple Bloom nods her head as she says,
"Alright, see ya later!"
With that said Nightshade and Apple Bloom head their separate ways from the bottom of the stairs and Nightshade heads towards the shack...
THE DREAMSCAPE
We see Nightshade chatting with her mother about the many stories they've uncovered, (conveniently excluding the Changeling one)
“Very good honey, and how have your lessons with the False Goddess’s Pupil gone?” Selena asks.
“Awesomely. She's teaching me a replication spell, but I can levitate objects easily now and also, I can make my horn or wings disappear too.”
“Transformative spells this early?” she asks.
“Oh no, I just figured it out one day when I was looking in the mirror. My wings were kind of itchy, and I made them disappear with green fire.”
“I see, that must be the changeling blood within you. I never thought your father would imbue you with that,” Selena comments.
“Ooohhh, does that mean I can change into other ponies too?” Nightshade asks excitedly.
“I’m not too sure, but I would suggest you don’t openly try while others are looking, understood?”
Nightshade sighs because she really wanted to show her friends,
“Yes Mommy...”
“Do not fret my precious, when you are ready, I shall teach you techniques that that puppet can’t even begin to dream about.”
“Oh, Alicorn powers?”
“To an extent, but within you lies the power of Shadow and Nightmare, I will teach you how to use it when the time is right.”
“Awesome!” Nightshade exclaims.
Suddenly a taco and a grilled cheese burst through a celestial cloud and start brawling. Selena looks at this in surprise and exclaims,
"What in the name of me-"
"Oh, that's just something I think Miss Twilight was talking about. Anyway, Finish him! FINISH HIM! Yes, taco!" Nightshade cheers as the taco starts beating the grilled cheese sandwich with a chair.
Selena can only facehoof as she mutters,
"What has that fool done to my daughter now..."
P.O.V CHANGE: BUGZE (YOU)
As expected, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and even Fluttershy were hanging around you the most during your spa day and while you didn't exactly not like their presence (their spa treatments made them look really pretty and bring out their- NO! BAD BUG!), they were always next to you the whole time you where at the spa. Luckily you managed to give them the slip before the transformation potion prematurely wore off, but you had to make a run to the closet where your clothes were before anypony found you, but you don't think anyling saw you.
Right now you've finished your workload for the day and ate dinner (1/2 a Box of Whole-What crackers, 1 Can of Creamy Tomato Soup, and 1 Instant Noodle Bowl)and are currently heading back to the shack for some good decent sleep. You've had a long day and you'd really like to just relax. Now as long as nothing tries to interrupt you while you head home everything will be fi-
You hold your non-scared eye in pain as you look down to see...
Cadance replies that she is NOT moonlighting as a vigilante
The Instant Mail Transfer Container. You sigh at the fact that Cadence somehow almost always manages to send this thing to you in a painful way. Sighing, you open it up and read the letter inside;
Dear Bugze,
I don't know why you would think it's me, or an Alicorn to begin with. There's only three in existence; me, Luna, and Celestia. Besides, I'm too busy dealing with reports and rumors of possible evidence of a new... structure possibly near the Crystal Mountains in northern Equestria. Nothing to worry about, nope nothing at all.
From,
Cadence
P.S. If you can come up here and visit that would be grand
P.P.S Bring your uh... Power Glove
Well, at least I know she's not the Mysterious Mare Do Well, but who could that leave...ah whatever, I'm going to go to the shack and get some bucking sleep!
With that thought in mind you put the Instant Mail Transfer Container back into The Inventory and you head home...
THE NEXT NOON
Eat breakfast with Nightshade (1 Box of "Lucky Oats" remaining) and collect your pay for yesterday's work.
You already ate breakfast with Nightshade (1 Box of "Lucky Oats" remaining), packed Nightshade's lunch (Jar of Chocolate Peanut Butter, Box of Whole-wheat crackers, 2 Apples, 2 Bags of Gummy Fruits, 2 Bottles of cotton-candy flavored Ramune), and collected your pay (41 Bits remaining) so now you're in the middle of patching a section of the barn wall when...
The Doctor replies back to you repeating what he had Derpy tell you on Nightmare Night:
'Don't hurt the Vigilante, it isn't what they appear to be'
He also said that during his adventures, he befriended a terminally ill filly named Sydney Moffat and entertained her with tales of her adventures, but that filly would beat her disease and would adapted his tales into the serial, Doctor Whooves/Hooves (spelling depends on location). Naturally the serial is ALOT different than the Doctor's true adventures due to stuido mandates, different writers, and even the Doctor omitting and exaggerating details when telling his tales to her.
You feel the Inter-Dimensional Notebook vibrate within the Inventory. You take it out and it reads,
Dear Bugze,
As I'm sure I told Derpy to tell you during Nightmare Night; 'Don't hurt the Vigilante, it isn't what they appear to be'
Also to answer your question; during my adventures, I befriended a terminally ill filly named "Moffie" and entertained her with tales of my adventures, but that filly would beat her disease and would adapt my tales into the serial, Doctor Whooves/Hooves (the spelling of which depends on location). Overall, it was a blast to see it on the silver screen, even if it's ALOT different than the my true adventures due to studio mandates, changing writers, and even I myself omitted and exaggerated details when telling little Moffie my tales.
Your eyes widen as you think,
Whoa whoa whoa... The Doctor indirectly created his own show? That certainly explains alo-
"Hi daddy."
You jump a little in shock before seeing your daughter and ask her,
"Nightshade? Shouldn't you be in school?"
"I'm on lunch break. Plus because I'm a journalist for the Foal Free Press and the fact that Cheerilee seems to have other things on her mind, she doesn't care when me and my friends spend more time out of the classroom. Anyway, I need more bits for The Hayburger Joint."
"What about that lunch I packed you thi- Wait, nevermind." you responds as you remember Nightshade's appetite and hoof her a few Bits (36 Bits remaining. Nightshade has 9 Bits).
As Nightshade is about to head off and you're about to finish removing the last rusty nail with the vise-grips...
You and Nightshade turn to see Applejack running towards you in worry.
"Sugarcu- Ah mean Mr. Tennant, did y'all happen ta' see a Changeling runnin' around lately?" She asks.
How could they know? you think in a panic before quickly saying,
"No! Of course not. Certainty no changelings anywhere near here. Hahahaha Why'd you ask?"
Applejack immediately (and quite literally) shoves a newspaper in your face as she exclaims,
"READ!"
You take the paper out of your face and began to read aloud,
"Changeling found in Ponyville Day Spa! Yesterday while one of our associates was walking past the Ponyvile's spa, he noticed a Changeling in one of the empty hallways. he was only able to take this photograph of the Changeling before it ran away. 'It was terrifying.' he said. 'To think that such a creature is hiding within our very Town.' This has caused quite an uproar among the Foal Free Press as we continue to figure out how this bug managed to enter Ponyville unnoticed. If you see any sign of Changeling activity, contact the Royal Guard immediately. Is this the prelude to another invasion! Buy the next issue to find out!"
Not noticing a guilty look appear across Nightshade's face, you're about to hoof the paper back to Applejack, when you notice the Gabby Gums column...
-Fluttershy driven to tears by "tail extensions" accusation makes you upset *snap*
"Hey Applejack, there's a column on you."
"What?!" Applejack exclaims as she grabs the paper back. She reads it and suddenly gets an angry look on her face as she yells,
"Applejack Asleep on the Job! I was taking my normal 5-minute nap break, but this makes me look like a lazy bum! Who the hay does this Gabby Gums think she is?!"
Nightshade looks more guilty and you're about to say something when Applejack exclaims,
"Fluttershy Has Tail Extensions!"
*snap* "The buck was that!?" You yell.
That is NOT cool! Knowing how sensitive Fluttershy is, she's probably having a breakdown or something. Also, Fluttershy's tail is perfectly natural like the rest of her supermodel bo- NO! BAD BUG!
"I better go check on Fluttershy." Applejack says, "Knowing her, she could use some comferting right now. Anyway, seeing how yer daughter's already here, feel free to take a lunch break."
"Oh, thanks boss." you say.
"Also, if ya' see a Changeling around here, y'all know what ta' do."
"Don't worry we'll tell ya if we see anything suspicious." you answer.
"Well, just letting ya know. See ya latter Mr. Tennant." Applejack says before she nods her head at you in thanks and trots off.
You had to tempt Lady Luck did you? Selena said.
This is gonna to be a long day...
With that, you and Nightshade head out to find something to eat...
Now we see that your idea to just eat out with your daughter turned into you hanging out with Flash, Twilight, and (strangely) Octavia at a taco cart near a construction site while Nightshade and her friends are eating at The Hayburger Joint across the street for free. You can't help but smile at this as you think,
Finally, for once a restaurant that, when they put the words 'free food' in a advertisement (the "Behemoth Challenge" to be exact) they actually mean it. And it looks like she's having fun, if only it wasn't so awkward over here...
It's not that you don't mind the three ponies who are with you company (Flash is your bro after all, Twilight can be considered your female nerd best frenemy, and Octavia is classy company in general. Not to mention she's easy on the ey- NO! BAD BUG!), it's just they keep giving you worried glances. You can't help but stare at them in confusion as you think,
Just what are they so worried about?
EARLIER THAT DAY, WITH FLASH AND TWILIGHT
We now find ourselves at the Ponyville market, where Flash just ran into Twilight,
"Oh, good morning Twi-"
"What' so good about it?" Twilight snaps causing Flash to recoils with a,
"Oh, I'm sorry Miss Twilight."
After that, Twilight takes a few calming breaths and says,
"No, I'm sorry Flash. It's just that Gabby Gums said that I'm a prissy snob who thinks Ponyville is nothing but muddy roads and low-class rubes! I talked to Spike and he swears that Gabby Gums made it up! She just prints whatever lies she wants! She doesn't care whose reputation she destroys!"
"Actually... that paper may be right about there being a changeling in town." Flash says.
Twilight looks at Flash in concerned confusion as she asks,
"Why do you think that?"
Flash sighs as he says,
"Think about it. Sabotages with green slime at the crime scenes, ponies claiming to be at different places when the sabotages happened yet other ponies claim they saw them there. It all points to changelings."
Twilight nods her head at this information as she contemplates,
"Hmmmm, you make several good points, but until we know for certain, we should keep this to ourselves to prevent a widespread panic. Anyway, for more positive news, why did you drag Tennant to the spa yesterday?"
Flash sighs sadly as he says,
"Actually, the reason I took Baker to the spa yesterday was I found out that three apple trees almost crushed him."
Twilight gasp in shock as she asks (a bit too loudly),
"Was it sabotage!?"
Flash nods his head grimly as he says,
"It was. I went back to the apple field after the spa and found that the trees in question were sawed to the point that just the tiniest amount of pressure would cause them to collapse on the pony who caused the pressure. It was unnoticeable, the cuts I mean. So whoever did it knew what they were doing."
Twilight shakes her head in worry as she asks,
"Does that mean that Mister Tennant is..."
Flash nods his head grimly again as he says,
"Sadly yes. Tennant has somepony or ponies or even somelings after him. And it angers me to say that this means that my best frie- no my bro is in danger. Somepony is trying to kill Mister Tennant!"
"WHAT!"
Both Flash and Twilight jump in shock as they look over to where the shout came from to see...
A worried and terrified Octavia.
BACK TO THE PRESENT
Eh, given my usual clumsy antics, it's probably nothing...
With that thought in mind you start to get into a conversation with Octavia about music as you wait for your food orders. What you don't notice is a shady figure entering the construction site...
P.O.V. CHANGE: NIGHTSHADE
We see Nightshade, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo at a window-side booth in The Hayburger Joint eating their meals(*).
"Ow... My tummy is starting to sting..." Nightshade groans.
"I'm not surprised." Sweetie Belle says.
"Yeah Shade, that's your 4th Mammoth in a row." Scootaloo adds.
"Guess that 'Graveyard' soda is living up to its name." Apple Bloom comments.
"Blargh..." Nightshade responds when she starts to remember what her Daddy taught her a week ago,
"Nightshade, when your tummy ain't feeling too good, just drink some ginger ale and you'll feel all better. Now watch this sweetie, I'm gonna prank Applejack so-"
*fling splot* "AIIEEEEEE!"
"Dang it Caramel! That wasn't meant for you!"
As Nightshade chuckles at the memory, she says,
"Waiter! Refill please, but with ginger ale this time! Extra ice!"
P.O.V CHANGE: BUGZE (YOU)
We now see you taking the food you just ordered (3 "Flambe" tacos (extra-spicy crunchy tacos with Habanero hot sauce, shredded carrots, shredded cheese, lettuce, pico de gallo, and sliced jalapenos), 3 sides of cheesy nachos, and 3 empty tortilla wraps. 30 Bits remaining) to the table where the others are (Flash and Twilight are sharing the Grande Loaded Nachos while Octavia settled for the Taco Salad).
Subconsciously, you start to empty the taco fillings onto the nachos, crunch the shells and add them to the mixture, mix them together, pour the mixtures onto the tortillas, and lift up the sides of the tortillas with your horn magic to form 3 bag-like shapes. You smile at your hoofy work as you are about to eat one, when you hear Flash ask,
"Uh Baker... what did you make?"
You sigh in sadness at not getting to eat the deliciousness you just created as you look over to Flash, Twilight, and Octavia to answer when you see...
All three of them are staring at your creations in confusion while Twilight is... drooling? You ignore the strange sight as you say,
You hold the Naco in in the air as if it's the grand prize in a race. Flash just stares at it some more before he asks,
"Huh... that's cool. Where'd you learn to make it?"
You open your mouth to answer,
"Well-Argh!"
But before you do you clench your teeth and hold your head in pain as it suddenly starts to sting. Your group of friends gasp in shock as Octavia exclaims in concern,
"Mr. Tennant! Are you okay?"
You shake your head as the pain goes down and you say,
"Yeah I'm fine, it's just that whenever I try to remember how I learned to make it, I get a pain in my head and I get this image of a older chan-stallion. It's probably nothing, but ya I don't remember how I learned to make them, it's just subconscious instinct in me is all. Anyway I"m gonna-HEY!"
You look back over to your Nacos only to see one is missing! You look around for whoever dared to steal your Naco, when you see Twilight...
Having a look of pure pleasure on her face as she eats your Naco. She stops chewing when she sees the strange looks she's getting from you, Flash, and Octavia. She swallows the Naco in her mouth as she blushes in embarrassment before saying,
"Sorry... it's just that nachos are my favorite food and seeing you make a Naco reminded me of how Spike makes his hoof-licking good nachos. Plus this is really good!"
You glare slightly at Twilight as you say,
"While I am humbled that you think it tastes good, please ask next time before you take my Nac-*crunch*!"
You turn around and see that Flash is eating another one of your Nacos! You glare at him as he chuckles nervously before saying,
"Heh heh... sorry Baker. *gulp* But Twilight wasn't kidding, these are really good! Plus, I'm paying you back for that Hayburger talk..." he mutters the last part under his breath.
Twilight giggles as Octavia rolls her eyes and says,
"Don't worry Mr. Tennant. I'm content with my dish."
You continue to glare at the two Naco-stealers as you grab the last Naco and are about to eat it when...
*creeeeeeeek*
Nightshade, you, and the others look around in confusion at the noise. It's not till you look at the construction site and see...
The construction site begin to fall apart! You see Rainbow Dash try and help, but only succeed in saving one pony. Before you and Flash can rush in and help, the Mysterious Mare Do Well shows up and saves the others, without even taking a scratch. When everything is over, you try to speak to the masked vigilante when she's already gone. Cursing your luck, you begin to walk away back to your uneaten naco when you're suddenly pulled into an alleyway.
“Hey, what the-“ you begin but are shushed by a hoof.
“Shh, keep it down before someone hears you.” Rainbow Dash says as she leans in close to you.
You blush nervously and hold your mask firmly in place as you say,
“Come on Rainbow, I thought you were finally respecting my boundaries!”
“What?” she asks.
“Not that you’re a bad kisser or anything, like how do you always taste so spicy and...”
She shoves her hoof in your mouth again.
“N-no, I’m not gonna...” she mumbles while blushing before shaking her head, “Look, I’m not here for... that, maybe later, but not right now.”
You raise an eyebrow at that since her hoof is currently still in your mouth,
“Look, I need your help, and you’re like the only pony I can come to...” she says with a sad look.
You can see she is being sincere so you take her hoof out of your mouth and ask,
“OK, what do you need help with?”
“I need you to help me take down the Mysterious Mare Do Well by dressing up as the Offender and letting me beat you up in public.”
You stare at the Rainbow-maned pegasus in shock as all you can do is say...
“I need you to dress up like the Hooded Offender to take down Mare Do Well”
“Ya I heard you the first time, but I’m still not getting it,” you say.
“What’s not to get?” she asks.
“Well for starters, how about... I don't know- WHY?” you yell in exasperation.
“To show up Mare Do Well and to show everypony that I’m not a bucking Softy!” she shouts.
“OK... I need some context here, start from the beginning and bring me up to speed.”
She sighs before putting her head down,
“Ever since Mare Do Well showed up, everyone has been ignoring me. She keeps showing up to these accidents and solving them in no time, and somehow she always makes me look like a fool.”
“Yeah, I’ve heard this part before, you mentioned it in the spa yesterday.”
“I know... but now ponies are starting to think that I’m not cool anymore, and this stupid article from Gabby Gums made it worse!” she says angrily as she throws a copy of the Foal Free Press in your face.
Getting a sense of Deja vu, you take the paper off your face and read the article aloud,
“Flash Sentry; Musician, Speciest, and Waffle Stealer.” and you see a picture of Flash taking a plate of waffles off a table and eating it.
“What? No not that one!” she says as she turns the page over revealing a picture of her in the spa chair from yesterday, although it looks like she’s enjoying the hooficure and the article calls her a softie.
“I grabbed as many copies as I could, but it was too late! I'm a laughing stock!” she laments.
“Well, it looks like Gabby Gums has finally fallen to the annoying side. First the lies about Applejack being lazy and Fluttershy having tail extensions, and now this!”
“Wait, Fluttershy does have tail extensions,” Rainbow points out.
“Wait, seriously?” you ask.
“Yeah she wanted her tail to be longer to carry her animals or something, so she got extensions, I thought everypony knew that.”
“Oh... well it’s still paparazzi trash,” you counter.
Rainbow nods her head at this as she says,
"I know right, so will you help me out?"
You begin to think about Rainbow's offer when a thought occurs to you and you say...
"But Rainbow, what if the ponies in town attack and capture me? I don't like hurting other ponies, and anypony is going to know that I'm not the true offender when they see that I don't use his powers. I mean you were at the Gala, and you fought him at Appleloosa. Surely you know what he can do, don't you think ponies are going to think that it is strange that you alone defeated him? I me-"
Before you can finish your rant, you suddenly hear a familiar, but dark voice say in your head,
Just accept, unleash your power and kill that stupid hero and later tell that Rainbow fillyfooler that someling knocked you out and replaced you. You win the glory of riding this world of another vigilante and gain respect from those who hate her. It's a perfect win/win. Hay, Ponyville looks pretty overpopulated anyway so why not smite some other ponies while you're at-
What the!? Selena!!! you mentally yell.
That is not me. Are thou sure you were not thinking that? Say Selena
How is that possible... Ugh my head is going to become a hotel for spirits at this rate. Whatever, focus on the here and now Bug.
You shake your head as you try to focus on what Rainbow Dash was saying (she was rambling while you were talking with Selena and thinking about that strange voice) and she glares at you slightly as she asks,
"Tennat! Did you listen to a word I said?"
You look at her nervously as you tell her in unconvincing tone,
"Eh, what? Yeah, I heard every word you just said and was not talking to a voice in my head hehehe..."
Rainbow Dash looks at you suspiciously before she smiles (The buck was that?!) at you and says,
"Great, Let's go to your house to plan."
You look at her in shock as you say,
"What? Why my house? And to be honest, it's a shack not a house. Hay, it isn't even my shack."
Rainbow just gives you a look that screams 'really' as she flaps her wings and says,
"Well duh, I live in a cloud and unless you're an Alicorn you can't walk on clouds. That or you're a changeling or something."
Rainbow laughs at the ridiculous statement as you force out some false laughter as you say,
"Me? A changeling? Uhh, of course not hehehe."
Rainbow smiles (There it is again, where the is that coming from) again as she flaps her wings excitedly,
"Great, then let's get going!"
With that she flies off, leaving you looking at her dust streak in confusion. You sigh in sadness as you think...
You stand there and think in annoyance, Welp, might as well finish my lunch firs- "Ooo... Abandoned food. *crunch*" "...Dang it."
Welp, might as well finish my lunch firs-
"Ooo... Abandoned food. *crunch*"
Your scared eye twitches in annoyance as you walk out of the ally to see Caramel eating your Naco. You glare at Caramel in hungry rage as you say,
"Note to self, prank Caramel again by dumping nacho cheese and taco sauce on him in his sleep. *sigh* Oh well, off to my shack to see what Rainbows crazy plan is..."
And with that you walk back to your shack, not noticing Caramel gulping in fear and suddenly running for his life.
BACK AT YOUR SHACK
You walk into your shack and see Rainbow looking at the Stalker Picture from Hearts and Hooves day (you finally got around to hanging it this morning before work).
Took forever to hang that blasted thing. Why do vise-grips hurt so much when you accidentally drop them on your hooves... repeatedly. Although spraying the vise-grips with WD-40 first probably wasn't the brightest idea-
Shaking off the mental rambling and phantom pain, you ask Rainbow...
"Uh... Rainbow, why do you want ME of all people to dress as the Hooded Offender?" you ask, hoping that she hasn't learnt anything damaging.
Rainbow shakes her head as she looks away from the Stalker Picture as she turns to you and says
"I just told you, you're the only one I can trust! There's literally no one else who could play the part!"
Oh, you have no idea... you think before saying, "But aren't there A LOT of glaring holes in this plan? I mean there's a royal guard in town, another masked vigilante, the elements of harmony, and the warring foal factions that want your head! Not to mention that this plan apparently involves you beating me up!"
"Oh, don't worry," Rainbow reassures as she gives you a sly smile, "I'll be gentle."
She doesn't notice your ensuing nosebleed, though, as she thinks on the things you said before she says,
"Wait, Royal Guard?"
"Flash Sentry?" you reply, "Haven't you figured that out yet? It's kind of obvious. Don't know why they sent him since he's so bad at reconnaissance."
"Sentry is a royal guard? Shoot," Rainbow Dash mutters. "That sort of throws a wrench into the plan..."
"Yeah, can you imagine if he called in his Royal Guard buddies and unmasked me in public? I'd be banished to the moon! They they'd banish the moon to the sun!"
"Oh, come on," Rainbow says, "You've taken on a hydra, a few royal guards are nothing. Besides, we can keep this under control. If you're captured, I'll just explain everything to the royal guards and they'll let you go. Simple!"
"You do realize that I... I mean, the Hooded Offender has mind-control powers, right? They'll just think I'm controlling you!"
"Um... well..."
"I don't think you've though this through..." you finish. Rainbow Dash seems to be rethinking things now, but then she shakes her head as she says,
"You know what, no! This plan will work! You know why?"
You're about to answer when you suddenly zone out and think...
”Boy, what you need to remember is that a plan that relies on chance is no plan at all.”
“But you put all your bits on red!”
The roulette wheel stops, and the stallion calls out, “Eleven, black!” He then pulls all of grandbuggy’s chips away.
Grandbuggy walks away in silence, and you follow him, looking up at him in worry.
“Boy, the next thing you have to remember is that you never gamble with what you aren't willing to lose.”
You nod your head solemnly,
“Those bits didn’t mean much to you, did they? That’s why you risked them.”
“What? No! It’s these &%^$**# that cheated me! They shouldn’t have gambled with more than they’re willing to lose. We’re burning this place to the ground!”
FLASHBACK OVER
“But we couldn’t buy any gasoline, so all we had were sticks to rub together,” you say, coming out of the flashback. “But the temple of greed still burned. Burned, I say! That’ll teach them to use magnetic balls!”
Rainbow Dash looks at you blankly,
“Uh, Okay... Did I mention that I saw Mare Do Well cheat at a game of cards the other day?”
“She what!?” you exclaim.
“Oh yes.” Rainbow grins. “She cheated good ponies out of their bits. Foals, actually... Orphan foals in wheelchairs!”
“She cheated foals?!”
“I know, right? Is that the kind of pony this town needs as a hero?”
“No!”
“Is that the kind of pony we’re going to let get their own comic book someday?”
“No!”
“So you’ll help me take her down?”
“No!”
Rainbow blinks. “What? Why?”
“Huh? Oh, sorry, I was... uh, caught up in the pattern. Yes!”
You both hoof bump and say, “Let’s do it!”
"So... what's the plan again?" you ask in confusion.
Rainbow looks at you for a second before she facehoofs as she says,
"D'oh! I knew I forgot something. Anyway the plan is to get my image of being completely awesome back by unmasking that stupid cowardly fraud in front of everyone at her own award ceremony! Then they won’t think I’m a softie!"
You look at Rainbow in shock at what she just said as you say...
“She’s getting an award ceremony? That is so unfair!” you say thinking about how you've never gotten one.
“I know right? Where the buck is my parade?” Rainbow Dash says.
“Okay, public humiliation to hide your own wounded pride sounds good, but why do you need my help?” you ask.
“Well, like I said, you’re the only one I can turn to for help” she says as she blushes.
“Why?”
“Because you’re the only one who took my side. All my friends think Mare Do Well is the greatest and won’t listen to me. Except for you Baker. I saw you scowling at her that day, and you backed me up in thinking she was a menace. You’re the only one who is even capable of helping me capture her.”
“I am?” you ask dumbfounded.
“Heck yeah you are. Twilight told me about how you were able to zap Princess Luna with your lightning magic and make her fall to her knees. Mare Do Well is an Alicorn too, I saw that back at the dam. You are the strongest pony I know that is on my side... please help me...” she begs giving you pleading puppy dog eyes.
“Well... OK yeah, I do want to capture and unmask her and to get her to stop her vigilante ways” you admit after looking at the puppy eyes for too long.
“That’s the ticket, I knew you would agree,” she says as she hugs you.
Finally, no more of those puppy eyes. Although her hug feels good and she does tas- NO! BAD BUG!
You push her off before you could start thinking those thoughts and stutter,
“Y-yeah, alright then, but still, why do I have to dress up like the Hooded Offender? I still don’t get that part.”
“Because think about it, just unmasking her is one thing, if I show up and kick the butt of the Hooded Offender in front of everypony, then my reputation will skyrocket again.”
“I don’t know... I got some bad memories of him,” you say as you rub your eye.
“Yeah... me too. Personally, I don’t know what to make of the jerk anymore. He’s too complicated...”
Hey I'm not complicated! I'm just very misunderstood!
Shaking your head at the thought, you quickly say,
“Yeah he is... So you want me to show up and let you beat me up?"
“Not for real, just pretend fighting. I’ll go easy on you.”
“But what’s to stop her from helping you and actually beating me up?”
“That’s the beauty of it, we are going to get her to follow you into a trap! You show up, interrupting her ceremony and pretend to be all super villainy like how the Offender usually sounds, then she'll chase after you. You lead her down the alley behind Quils and Sofas, and then I’ll capture her! Then once she is captured, I will heroically step forward and “Save” her from you in front of everypony. Then once you run away from my awesomeness, I will unmask her!” she says excitedly.
“So... you want me to dress up like the most wanted being in Equestria to draw her into a trap and then pretend to get beaten up because of your self-conscious issues?” you ask in a deadpan tone.
“Yes, exactly!” she nods.
“Alright, sounds good to me,” you say cheerfully, “the only thing is, I uh... don’t have a cloak.”
“Oh right...” she ponders. “Wait here, Be Right Back,” she Dashes off (pun intended) through one of your shacks open windows and returns with a Horde Member cloak a few seconds later. You look at the Horde Cloak (which has stink lines coming off it) in shock as you ask
“Where did you get that!?”
“Thunderlane’s trashcan, I know he used to be a member and quit soooo... yeah,” she says as she hoofs you the cloak, which has bits of garbage on it.
“Thanks... but just to let you know, if this gets out of control or if the guards show up, I'm gonna to ditch, no ifs ands or buts,”
“Don’t worry, my plan is too awesome to fail,”
You're about to tell Rainbow that her plan isn't as air-tight as she thinks it is when your skullmate says,
"Huh? Oh, yeah. Just some... angry memories..." you say as a shadow crosses your face "Anyway, I don't think this is such a good idea."
"Are you kidding? Of course it is! You go to the award ceremony dressed up like the Offender, make a mess of the place, when Mare Do Well tries to stop you, you beat the snot out of her." Rainbow says with a little too much enjoyment at the thought "And then, I'll swoop in as you're about to deal the finishing blow, and "save" her. Then, thanks to this underhanded staged fight, everypony will know I'm a way more awesome hero than she is!" you can see a bit of drool coming from Rainbow's mouth.
I won't even begin to explain what is wrong with this idiotic scheme. Selena mentally face-hoofs.
"But wait, what if I..."
“Thanks, you’re the best! Remember, it’s the alley behind Quils and Sofas! See you at the ceremony,” she says as she kisses you on the cheek before she swoops off into the air through your window.
“Whelp, time to go pretend to be myself... this is gonna end badly isn’t it?”
Of course it will you idiot! Why do you always fall for the Puppy Eye trick from strumpets? Selena scolds.
“I can’t help it” you pout as anime tears fall down your cheeks.
As you dress in Thunderlane’s stinky cloak, (You put the cloak on over your Doctor clothes) you walk up to the middle of the ceremony and try to get everypony’s attention, but they ignore you and focus on the mayor.
You sigh in sadness as you begin to put on Thunderlane's cloak (which smell's disgusting) over your Doctor clothes as you head out to wait for the ceremony to begin...
LATER, AT THE CEREMONY
As you wait in the shadows of the alley, you think...
Okay... obviously I can't talk Rainbow Dash outta this. Her bruised ego is demanding this, but I can take a few precautions. Recap time:
One: Don't want to get exposed so I duct taped the inside of the hood to my head so it'll be harder to pull off. I wonder why noling tried to un-hood me before...
Two: I'll need escape routes and my teleport sucks at long distance. Fortunately I already scouted the ceremony area and found a few decent ones (Ducking into a hat shop and then into the back alleys or diving into the sewers).
Three: Since I'm only pretending, no need to go full power so I better make sure I- Hey, what's this?
This is when you notice a panel on the side of your power glove, with a small dial underneath that reads [Low] on the left, and [High] on the right.
Huh, a power level adjuster... neat? But why would I want to use less power? I mean, for situations other than this.
Perhaps you can use it to roast marshmallows. Selena snarks.
Nodding your head at all the information and putting the dial to [Low], you notice the Mayor walking onto the stage before she begins to talk to the town. Smirking slightly, you whisper,
"Show time."
With that you...
As for getting Mare Do Well's attention: During the award ceremony, the Mayor is busy praising their hero and unveiling a banner with a big picture of Mare Do Well's masked face. This gives you an idea. You suddenly drop to the stage from a nearby rooftop, and there are gasps from the crowd as all eyes are on you now. You grab a bucket of black paint that was so conveniently placed nearby, and with a masterful stroke of artistic genius, you paint over the image of Mare Do Well, giving her a pirate look (Skull and crossbones hat, eyepatch, and swirly mustache).
Leap out of the alley and rush at a poster of the Mysterious Mare Do Well. Grabbing a bucket of black paint conveniently placed nearby, you masterfully paint over the image of the MMDW with a pirate look (Skull and crossbones hat, eyepatch, and swirly mustache). When you're finished with your pièce de résistance, you turn around and declare,
And you realize that noling is staring at you. They're all still listening to the Mayor and are ignoring you completely. Your eye twitches in annoyance as you think,
Welp... the Mayor must be a good public speaker I guess. Oh well...
"Um... hay!" you call. "Hooded Offender here... I beat up pretty much everypony in Fillydelphia... helped the God of Chaos take over the world... look really good in black." You think you see Octavia twitch at that one, but she, as well as the others, fail to notice you.
You walk up to the street, stealthily waiting for the perfect time to strike. When the magic sign starts reading "DO NOT WALK" you dastardly dash across it.
"Aha!" you call, as you wait for somepony to notice...
Nopony does.
"Hey!" you cry out. "I just jaywalked. I'm a criminal. Fight me for jaywalking!" They still don't notice.
"Alright fine, I'll do it again," you say, before once again dashing across the road. "There! Now I'm a repeat offender," you cry. "A repeat HOODED OFFENDER, AHA HA HA HA ha ha ha... ha." Your laughter dies down when you realized that, again, nopony noticed.
"Fine then, I'll do it a third time," you say, stepping onto the road. Suddenly, you hear a honk as a huge carriage whips around the corner, careening towards you.
*WHAM*
The carriage smashes into you and sends you flying before you bounce twice and skid into a lamp post
*clang* "Owww... Buck you Lady Luck," you mutter. "And thank Luna for armor shell."
You sigh as you slowly get up as you glare at the stage as you think,
With a stand worths of cookies, you threw them at random ponies by an alley way. It turns out they were hungry, poor folks, and you were apparently "donating" free food.
Rush over to the nearby fancy restaurant and slap a food tray out of the hooves of a waiter before it gets to a rich older pony.
"Ha ha! Your meal is now ruined!" you gloat.
"Oh Dear Luna, there was horseradish in that dish, I'm allergic" says the older pony.
"Oh I am so sorry sir," the waiter apologizes, "I must of mixed them up with that gentleman's order" he says as he points to the next table over.
"Well no harm no foul, thanks to this young man here, thank you sir, here have some pocket change." the older pony says to you as everypony starts clapping for you and he hoofs you a bag of 300 bits.
"OH COME ON!" you shout before pocketing the bits (330 Bits Remaining) and say, "and thank you."
With that, you dash out and look for your next crime and see a Filly Scout stand.
Perfect... you think slyly before you dash over and cry out,
"FALCON PUNCH!"
Your fiery punch shatters the stand and you grab one of the boxes from the air before savagely tearing into it, and start pouring the cookies into your mouth. You're about to start laughing evilly with your mouth full when you see the sad eyes of the little filly you just stole from.
"Oh... don't cry, don't cry! I'm sorry," her eyes begin to water more. "No, I... was just enjoying them so much... Uh, here, have money! Have all the money!" you shout as you throw the bag of bits at her (30 Bits remaining).
She seems shocked at first, but then perks right up,
"Thanks mister, here, you've more than bought the stands worth," she says as she pushes all the boxes of cookies towards you.
150 boxes of "Filly Scout Cookies" Added to The Inventory.
Before running off with the money.
"Be sure to spend it on junk food and movies!" you yell after her.
"Don't worry, I will!" she shouts back.
"What a nice young filly..." you comment, "Anyway, back to being evil. Aha!"
You spot a small group of ponies in an alley and yell,
"EAT THIS MOTHERBUCKERS!!!"
And start whipping boxes of cookies at the hobos, nailing a few of them in the face (100 boxes of "Filly Scout Cookies" remaining).
"Praise Celestia! Food!"
"Hooray!"
"Mwahaha-Wait, what?!" you yell in confusion.
It turns out that those ponies you threw the cookies at were down-on-their-luck homeless folk (didn't even know this town had a homelessness problem).
"Thank you kind hooded pony." one of the hobos says.
"Thanks. I mean I didn't mean to! I mean- GAH!"
In frustration, you grab a Molotov Cocktail from your Potion Sash and hurl it into a nearby vacant lot, setting it ablaze (2 Molotov Cocktails remaining). Realizing what you did you exclaim,
"Buck! I didn't mean to do th- Wait... I mean I completely meant to burn that cause... evil! Mwahahaha-Ooo pretty..."
You stand there and watch the pretty flames, but then a landscaper comes up and says to you,
"Thanks Friend, that was going to take all day with a shovel, now I can go get some lunch." As he walks away you ponder,
"How come when I try to be act evil I end up somehow being the good guy, and vice versa?"
Because you continually curse, berate, and tempt the avatars of cosmic chance. Selena comments.
"Oh yeah..." You growl as you say, "Luna dang it! There's gotta be someway to... get... their... attention."
You slowly stop talking as you see Vinyl among the ponies in the crowd. Or more specifically, some of her speakers. You grin wickedly as you say,
"Oh... this is gonna be good."
With that you...
Eventually you realize the only way to get their attention while they wait for MDW to show up... is through Song!
As the song starts up, you whisper, "Would you kindly freeze!" as you activate the Winter Blast plasmid, creating a wide sheet of ice across the ground. You then quickly follow it up with "Would you kindly burn!", vaporizing the ice into steam. The ponies all gasp as the steam surrounds them, and they can see only your shadow as you grab the mike and start to sing.
You hear the screeching of the owls You hear the wind begin to howl. You know the Offender's on the prowl...
You use some minor airbending to blast away the steam (you can barely suppress a glee of delight when you see that it worked) as you reveal yourself to the shocked ponies.
And its TERROR time again! (let off an Electro Bolt to emphasize "TERROR") I'll have you running through the night! Yes, it's TERROR time again! (Another lightning bolt). And you might just fall to fright! It's a terrifying time!
Hey Selena! Can you get some illusions up? you mentally ask.
I'm still not quite sure why you're agreeing to do this, but I'll, as you say these days, 'give it a shot'. Selena replies, casuing few bursts of dark magic and some shadowy monsters flare up beside you, threatening the crowd as you begin to sing again.
You hear the beating of your heart, You know the screams are gonna start. Here comes the really scary part!
The Mare Do Well jumps out from an alleyway and attempt to fight the monsters with a series of bucks and tackles, but since they're just illusions, her attacks just harmlessly pass through them. You barely notice as you continue singing,
And it's TERROR time again, I'll have you running through the night! Yes, it's TERROR time again, And you might just fall to fright! It's a terrifying ti-*twack*
The Mysterious Mare Do Well zips off behind a building and another one immediately leaps at you from above, hitting you in the face with a flying Karate kick. You roll from the blow until you stumble back to your hooves in time to see her charging at you, only to be met with a "FALCON PUNCH!" that knocks her into a group of ponies like it was bowling ("Sorry..." you mutter), you approach creepily.
All the town begins to moan, As the weak have gone and flown, Get ready for my next crime. Don't you know its terror time!
The costumed vigilante looks up at you as you approach her. You can't see her face, but you imagine it's locked in a horrified expression. You grin beneath your hood as you cry,
Yes, it's TERROR time again! (You sing as you swing at the MMDW only for her to dodge into a cloud of steam) I'll have you running through the night! (You shoot stun spells into the cloud of steam, but it dissipates revealing the Mysterious Mare Do Well deflecting your blasts with a purple shield) Oh, it's TERROR time again. (You charge the costumed pony and break through the shield with a "Psycho Crusher", knocking her away.) And you might just fall to fright, It's a terrifying time!
You finish the song by throwing the microphone at the downed vigilante, nailing her in the head as you turn to the ponies, who are stricken with fear.
"Oh no!" Mayor Mare cries, "The Hooded Offender has just defeated Mare Do Well! Who will save us now?"
"Hey? Who used my speakers?" Vinyl cries out.
You laugh evilly as you say in your villain voice,
"MWAHAHAHAHAHA! Guess who's back fools! Now I'm only here for one thing and that's-Wait, Where the buck did she go!?"
You look over to where the MMDW was Ko'd, but see that she's not there anymore. You look around in a panic trying to find her, when a realization dawns on you. You gulp slightly in fear as you ask the crowd...
You turn around and see her scowling at you. You turn back to the audience and say,
“Whelp, that’s all folks, be sure to tip your waiters!” before you run off and through the streets, but the Mysterious Mare Do Well follows you, somehow managing to block you off several times,
“Don’t Worry Mare Do Well!” Rainbow Dash shouts , “I Will... save you?” she asks in confusion as she sees the Vigilante squirming around on the ground with the net barely covering her disguised head. She squirms around for a few more seconds before seemingly passing out.
“Um...” Dash starts.
“What just happened here?” you ask.
“I have no clue...”
“And what was up with the tiny net?”
“Hey, it’s all I could afford on such short notice! Cut me some slack! It worked didn't it?”
Before anyone can answer, the crowd from the audience shows up and Dash starts getting into character.
“Oh No! The Hooded Offender captured Mare Do Well in a tiny net!”
“NO!” the audience shouts, "Not a Tiny Net!”
“Yes!” you reply, “A Tiny Net! It is a net and it is Tiny!”
“You Monster!” the audience shouts.
“But don’t worry, the most awesome pony in the world will stop him!” shouts Rainbow Dash.
“But Mare Do Well is captured!” shouts a Filly in a Mare Do Well costume.
"Ah-er well if it isn't my, um... if it isn't my arch nemesis, er, Rainbow Dash," you say, tripping over the lines Rainbow gave you (on cards that you put under your hood and are now awkwardly reading out of the corner of your eye). You're way too used to ab-libing this stuff.
"How dare you, uh, how dare you- er, encroach on my, uh, reign of terror that I will, um, bring upon these, er, completely innocent ponies, because that's the sort of, um, bad pony I am. I guess. Uh, you shall pay dearly for your... um... er... ah, buck this,"
With that, you charge Rainbow Dash, ready for a cathartic beating... which you can't overdo because Rainbow is supposed to win, got to remember that.
Rainbow dashes into the air, and does a few flashy loops before zooming down at you. Were this a real fight, you'd whirl around your staff and smack her away. Instead, you do a flashy roll dodge, letting Rainbow zoom by you. As she slides along the ground, trying to slow her momentum, you raise your Gloved hoof. Making sure that Rainbow is completely aware of your next attack, you shout,
"Would you kindly BURN, CRAYON MANE!"
You ignite the spot where she was at, but instead of dodging, Rainbow flies head on at you and knocks you up into the air.
Rainbow Dash proceeds to fly up with you and perform a rapid combo of strikes and blows before slamming you towards the ground (fortunately you braced yourself, so it didn't hurt too much).
You fall to the ground and fake a bad landing, while Rainbow hovers gently down across the plaza taunting,
"Is that the best that the infamous Hooded Offender can do?"
"Oh no," you reply, activating the Incinerate! Plasmid,
"If you'd kindly notice, I'm just getting warmed up!"
With that you and Rainbow are about to charge at each other when...
You and Dash pause to look at this development before you're suddenly rushed at and bucked by another Mare Do Well who accidentally knocks you into Rainbow Dash and propels you both out into the streets.
Even with your enhanced damage reduction... that one hurt.
“Owwwww...” you groan as you look up and see the masked vigilante about to slam a hoof into your face.
“NOOOOO!!!” Rainbow Dash screams as she tackles Mare Do Well off of you.
The crowd sees this and jumps to conclusions.
“She’s been brainwashed by the Hooded Offender!”
“What? No I-Oof!” Rainbow Dash tries to defend, but the Mare Do Well seems to have made up her mind as she tackles Dash.
"Shoryuken!" you call out as you punch the superhero off of her, and in doing so, arguments break out in the crowd over who to support. Dodging another punch from the MMDW you call out to Dash,
"DASH, LIFT ME UP!"
Dash (who just got back up) nods her head as she flies over to you and lifts you up into the air. You nod your head in thanks to her as you tell her,
"Ready. Aim..."
Rainbow gets what your doing as she aims at the MMDW. When she has her in her sights you yell,
"FIRE!"
With a monstrous throw, Rainbow launches you at the closest Mare Do Well, who you take out with an aerial "FALCON PUNCH!"
With that, Rainbow Dash dives at the Mysterious Mare Do Well and lets go of you in a dive-bomb action in which you declare,
"FALCON PUNCH!" as your flame-encased hoof slams into her masked face and sends her smashing into the taco cart from earlier.
"Oops." you comment as Rainbow Dash land next to you and your both about to charge at the downed vigilante when...
You and Rainbow Dash both turn to see an army of rainbow-wig-wearing foals march into the town square from one direction, and an army of purple hat wearing foals march in from the other. The two groups stop and glare at each other while you and Dash look at the group of fans and the only thing you can say is,
"What the Bu-"
But before you can finish you get tackled by a orange blur, and as you are tackled the two groups of foals charge at each other and a brawl begins as adults start getting involved to retrieve their children and thus get caught up in the brawling as well.
You land on the ground, but quickly get back up to see that the orange blur was...
Eventually you overhear Flash, after you were forced to kick him through a window, saying how he is going to get back up. You try to stop him, but you are blasted back by Mare Do Well into a park. When you shake your head clear, you look up and see 5 Mare Do Wells staring down at you. Dash lands beside you and helps you up.
ultimately he ends up using a hidden emergency flare tube (either in his jacket or guitar case) to call in a squad (or 3) of Royal Guards..
Flash!
You glare at Flash slightly as he charges you, but you manage to dodge the charge and then buck him into the window behind you. As you prepare to head back into the brawl to look for the Mysterious Mare Do Well you hear Flash say,
"Buck! He's the real deal! I need to call in backup!"
Your eyes widen in shock as you turn to stop him, but are suddenly blasted by the Mysterious Mare Do Well into the park.
Meanwhile, Flash whips out a strange tubed mini-cannon out from his jacket and fires a bright grey pellet with a black smoky trail behind it straight into the air. When it reaches the height of its ascent, it explodes to form a flare-red version of your symbol with a red circle around it.
You don't notice this as instead you notice Rainbow Dash landing beside you to help you up, but suddenly the brawl stops and everypony looks in shock at FIVE Mysterious Mare Do Wells all glaring at you. You and Dashes eyes widen in shock as Dash stutters...
“Five Mare Do Wells?” she stutters. “Which means Five Alicorns,” you respond as you both go back to back as the Mare Do Wells surround you.
"F-Five Mare Do Wells?"
"Which means FIVE alicorns. Buck..."
You then remeber one of your favorite Neighponese Animated Serials as you say...
"Kage bunshin no jutsu?" Bugzy says, remembering one of his favorite anime "I can't... believe it."
"Or... Kage Bunshin no Jutsu? I can't... believe it."
You hear one of the horned Mare Do Well's groan and facehoof. But before you can defend yourself...
When the 4 other "Mysterious Mare Do Well"s show up, somepony (maybe Rainbow) thinks that they're the changelings that The Foal Free Press were talking about thus causing even more confusion and chaos.
Rainbow glares at you sightly as she says,
"Ten-I mean Offender, those aren't clones! There would be alot more of them and there would be a trial of smoke somewhere if they were. These are obviously changelings!"
This gets shocked gasps out of the crowd and worried defensive looks/reactions from the Mysterious Mare Do Wells as you say,
"But how can these guys be changelings?"
You hear Rainbow facehoof as she says,
"Think about it; Horns AND Wings? Also the paper said there was one in town, and when there's one there's bound to be more. Plus those parasites all look alike!"
Before you can rebuttal that they are all just ponies wearing the same costume, you are interrupted by an authoritative voice declaring,
Everypony looks over to see Flash Sentry in his full armor with two platoons of guards (a few squads are proceeding to evacuate civilians from the upcoming melee).
"Where did all these bucking guards come from?" you comment
Perhaps it is that strange signature in the sky. Selena points out.
You look up and see the flare signal disappearing and can only simply comment,
"Ah."
"Buck! Look over there." Rainbow Dash says.
You turn to see the slightly tussled-up and dirty fanclubs of the Mysterious Mare Do Well and Rainbow Dash approach from different directions glaring at each other as the Tennant fan club (Yay, I have fans!) looking at all the other groups looking sad for the upcoming fight.
"Well, this certainly complicates things a bit..."
"YOU THINK?!" Rainbow Dash, Selena, and a few nearby ponies scream.
You look around in panic, but on one of the roofs you see,
-Nightshade and the CMC lie on a roof, documenting the whole thing. Good, they'll be safe there.
Nightshade (with a tub of soda) and the rest of the Cutie Mark Crusaders lying on a roof documenting everything. Seeing that the Cutie Mark Crusaders are safe, you and Rainbow go back to back as you say,
"Hey Rainbow, you know the four words that can sum up how much this plan went straight to Tartarus?"
She doesn't look at you as you both begin to move in a circle still back to back looking at everypony surrounding you (the 2 platoons of Royal Guards, the Mysterious Mare Do Wells, the three fanclubs, and some Ponyvillians who haven't been evacuated yet) as she says,
"Yep! Pretty sure I know what you mean."
You nod your head at this as you both suddenly yell,
You and Rainbow Dash continue to circle back-to-back each other as the Guards, Mare Do Wells, and the fan clubs get closer to the both of you. You gulp slightly in fear as you say to Rainbow Dash,
"Uh Rainbow, I think it would be a good time to get out of here. We're out numbered by at least a million to two, and I don't think I need to remind you what's going to happen to me if the guards or the Mare Do Wells catch me!"
You hear Rainbow grunt in annoyance before she says,
"No way! This plan is too awesome to fail. Just let me think of something to fix this!"
You can't help but sigh at Rainbow's stubbornness as you think in dread,
I wonder who's stubbornness is gonna get me killed first, Applejack's or Rainbow's?
You snap out of your thought as you look around in panic as you see that the groups of ponies who want to do bodily harm to you are getting closer. You also see the malice in the guards' eyes get more extreme as they get closer to you. You gulp in fear before you look at Rainbow and practically scream in panic,
"Rainbow! Unless a changeling comes by or Mare Do Wells can be distracted by clouds, whatever your plan is ain't gonna work!"
As soon as you said that Rainbow get's a look in her eyes as she says,
"I got it! Ten- I mean Offender, you're a genius!"
You blink in shock as you say weakly,
"I...I am?"
Rainbow nods her head as she flies above and over to the guards. The guards look like they're about to attack her when she quickly puts her hooves up and says,
Rainbow Dash claims that the other Mysterious Mare Do Wells are other changelings that The Foal Free Press was talking about leading to more chaos as Guards and ponies pounce of some of them.
"WAIT!"
The guards hesitant at her shout. Seeing this Rainbow smiles as she says,
"So you guys all know about how there are supposed to be changelings in town right?"
The guards (as well as the other ponies) nod their heads suspiciously. Rainbow grins even more as she continues,
"Well... did you know that those Mare Do Wells over there are changelings?"
At the guards shocked expressions Rainbow continues,
"I mean think about it. They all look alike, and they all have wings AND horns, plus changelings feed on love right? So what better way then to save ponies who would love them for saving them. A perfect buffet plan!"
While the guards nod their heads at this information, Flash, you and the Mare Do Wells just facehoof at this plan. You can't help but think,
Even I'm not dumb enough to fall for this! It's probably just five overbearing and over-emotional ponies. In other words teenagers.
While you snicker at your reference, Flash seems to voice your thought as he says,
"Look Miss Dash, there's no way they're changelings. If anything they're just normal po-"
Flash is suddenly cut off as one of the guards shouts,
"CHANGELINGS! THAT MEANS EXTRA ON OUR PAYCHECKES! BOYS! GET EM!"
Mass chaos ensues as many of the Royal Guards charge at the Mysterious Mare Do Wells which in turn causes the fan clubs to start charging at the guards and each other soon causing a free-for-all. Before you can join in...
You get magic-blasted through a window and into a room filled with elderly ponies. One of them is wearing a collar around his neck, and a black sleeved robe over his body. You stand up, dust yourself off, and turn to him before saying,
"I don't suppose a stallion of the cloth could do something about all this?"
"I have a nephew in Fillydelphia. I'm not exactly a fan of yours." he says grimly.
"Look, I'm not even the real Offender! Even if I was, how is my getting beaten to death by a mob any kind of justice?!"
Suddenly a pair of boots pop out of his sleeves and hit you in the face before you can say anything, knocking you back through the window and into the fray.
As you tumble through the crowd of ponies, you knock down a few guards along the way. You slowly try to get back up only to get knocked back down to the ground. You look up in a daze to see a smirking Earth Pony Guard. However, you smirk back as you call out,
"Shoryuken!"
And hit him in the jaw with a rising uppercut that sends him into the air before he lands on a trio of brawling foals. You smirk slightly as you begin to scan the crowd as you think,
You spot a fat snobbish earth pony with a ponytail with a box of Orange-FrostedBuffo-Bombs cereal!
You leap towards the pony and geek out,
"No bucking way! Are those Orange-Frosted Buffo-Bombs with orange-frosted crunchy shells, chewy vanilla cream centers, AND tomahawk-shaped marshmallows that turn milk orange and give it an orange-creamsicle flavor?!"
"Not just ANY box, but an original unopened mint-condition box. NOT a forgery, copy, or result of a replication spell."
"B-but how?! I thought they were recalled and banned by Solar Flanks for being species-ist against Buffalo and having artificial sweetners that cause horn and wing cancer in ponies."
"I have my sources..." he simply responds.
"it's my favorite cereal of all time! I must has it!!! How much!" you ask as you take out your Bag of Bits.
"Deluded phony," the fat pony scoffs "Orange-Frosted Buffo-Bombs are for-"*wham*
"Falcon Punch!" you cry as your flame-encased hoof knocks the pony into a trio of Royal Guard and causing the box to fly in the air.
"MINE!!!" you yell as you grab the cereal in midair before stroking the box, "My precious..."
1 Box of "Orange-Frosted Buffo-Bombs" cereal added to Inventory
"Now..."
You gently put the box into The Inventory as the snobbish earth pony's (who is now embedded into a nearby wall) leg twitches slightly. You don't notice this as you finish your sentence,
You say the latter in a creepy lullaby tone as you begin to scan the mob (which is now even more chaotic as parents are trying to stop their foals from injuring themselves and each other... before getting into fights with the parents of other foals) for one of the Mare-Do-Wells while thinking,
Okay, one thing a hero must keep secret is their identity. So if I find out one of their identities...
You smirk slightly as you spot one of the unicorn Mare Do Well's. You gain a feral grin as you charge at her while parkouring through the mob towards her and you think,
I can figure out the rest of them and expose them to the whole town. That'll cause them to give up their vigilante ways for good! Now to just knock one of them out...
With that thought you reach the Mare Do Well and you...
You pull the cape over the Mare Do Wells and uppercut her a few times while her head is down before swinging her into a Royal Guard like a baseball bat. Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash is currently in an intense wrestling match with one of the wingless and hornless Mare Do Wells.
“And not a pit of mud in sight,” you hear Thunderlane say somewhere in the chaos, but you ignore him as you swing the MMDW into him, knocking the pervert into a flying Royal Guard and sending them both crashing into a group of fighting foals.
Suddenly the Mysterious Mare Do Well with wings uppercuts you and says, “Imposter!” in a familiar voice, forcing you to let go of the MMDW you've been using as a bat. You face her down and declare,
“WHO ARE YOU!” in your best Batmane voice, and you hear the Mare Do Well whimper, but unfortunately a horned Mare Do Well blasts you.
“WHO ARE YOU?!” growls the Mare Do Well in her own Batmane voice, “First you disband your horde and tell me to give up my ways so I don’t become you, then you go and do this?!” she growls.
“I... uh...” you really want to explain, but you’re only supposed to be pretending to be yourself, so you feign ignorance.
“WHAT IS YOUR ENDGAME?!” she growls, her horn glowing threateningly, but fortunately you're saved when Rainbow Dash zooms in from behind the Mysterious Mare Do Well and knocks her out of the way before grabbing you and flying you into the air.
Now safely floating above the brawl, you look up to Rainbow (who seems fine holding you up this whole time) and tell her,
"Rainbow, we just need to find out one of the Mare Do Well's identities, then we can figure out who the rest of them are from that. When we do we can expose them! Their vigilante life is over with, they get hauled off by the guard on suspicion of being a changeling, an the fan clubs will probably stop fighting. That's all we need to do, got it?"
Rainbow nod's her head at this, before she get's a confused look and asks,
"Uh... how will exposing the Mare Do Well's make me look cool again?"
You can't help but look at Rainbow with a look that screams 'Really?' before you facehoof and say,
"Rainbow, I think stopping the MASSIVE FREE-FOR-ALL in the middle of Ponyville is more impotent than your cool factor!"
Rainbow looks conflicted for a moment, before she sighs and says,
"Fine... but I get to finish off the last Mare Do Well."
You groan in annoyance before you say,
"Fine! Fine! Now wou-"
"THERE THEY ARE! SEIZE THEM!"
You and Rainbow look at where the shout came from only to see a couple of pegasus guards flying towards you and Rainbow Dash from multiple directions. Rainbow's eyes widen in panic, while you just simply sigh in annoyance before...
You and Rainbow create a tornado of whoop-flank where she grabs your back hoofs and begins swinging you in a circle faster and faster using her wings and hitting everypony around with you.
*ding*
"Rainbow Dash... I just got a great idea!"
With that you somehow manage to lift yourself up slightly to whisper your plan into Rainbows ear. When you finish she smiles at you before saying,
"Let's do this!" With that said she tosses you above her head before grabbing you by the back hooves and starts swinging you in a circle faster and faster using her wings and knocking the guards away like a top of death.
"Ow. Ow. Ow. It's (Ow) Working (Ow)!" you say as your body is used as a bat.
When Rainbow Dash finishes the move, she uses the momentum to throw you at a Mare Do Well, who you proceed to Falcon Punch on impact, the punch knocking her into another trio of Royal Guards which in turn knocks them into three groups of fighting foals.
"MULTI-STRIKE!" Rainbow Dash declares as you run in and are about to unmask the vigilante when you notice out of the corner of your eye...
Some of the Tennant colts laughing maniacally and bringing out a bunch of blow torches, candles, lighters, etc.
“Alright fine, all of you want to keep fighting?” shouts Pip. “Then Burn in the name of Sir Tennant!”
“NO NO NO NO NO!” you shout as you use you rush over amd tackle the colts, knocking the fiery devices out of their hooves.
“Awwwww!” they all cry in disappointment.
“The Buck is the matter with you kids?” you scold them.
“We’re just trying to stop the brawl like Mr. Tennant would Mr. Offender,” says Rumble.
“By burning ponies alive?” you say.
“Well... I mean. Well when you put it like that...” stammers Rumble.
You mentally chide yourself for teaching kids a bad lesson,
“Look, Arson isn't the answer kids, sure it’s pretty and pure and yeah, I guess it would solve this mess by burning away all their hatred in cleansing magnificen- I DON’T HAVE PROBLEM!” you shout.
The colts look a little unnerved, but they put their heads down.
“Alright, we won’t burn them, we’ll just solve our problems with good old fashioned violence,” says Button Mash.
“Good Colts the last thing I need is inspiring more mini-Flag Burners...” you start (muttering the last part).
“Starting with you!” he shouts.
“Okay-Wait wha...”
“Get him!”
You are then suddenly swarmed by your Tennant fans, and blow after blow of tiny hooves rain down on you.
“Hey what the-”
“Tennant would take down the Offender if he had the chance!” says one colt.
“Ow! This is the most adorable beating ev- (*sok*) Eeeeeeeeeeee” you are suddenly kicked very painfully where the sun don’t shine. Armored shell protects you a lot, but still, it’s a kick to the nads.
“Nice kick chap.” says Pip.
“Thanks, Nightshade taught me it,” Button Mash says proudly.
"Hey, I wanted to hang out with her first." Rumble comments.
*snap*
Your "overprotective daddy" button pushed, you declare, "Psycho Crusher!" and spin smash through the mob of colts...
and right into a squad of guards.
“Take him alive if possible, use lethal force only if necessary!” shouts Flash.
“OH COME ON!!!”
You say as you take out your staff and slam it into the ground, scattering the guards (some getting smashed into food carts), but Flash flies above this and tackles you before wailing on you a few times.
Fortunately, Berry Punch tackles him off you and starts raining blows on him.
“Ow Ow! Hey cut it out!” he yells.
“NO! You stole my daughter’s Waffles yesterday you WAFFLE STEALER!” she shouts.
You take advantage of this distraction to run off while Berry Punch’s daughter shouts.
“Get him,mommy! Kill the Waffle Stealer!”
“REALLY?!!!” he shouts to the sky as Berry puts him in a headlock, but just before Berry can give Flash another punch to the face, Flash shouts out,
Flash and/or Pinkie clear up that Flash is NOT a waffle thief. As part of his waiter job, he can eat whatever is left behind on the table when the customer(s) leave.
"Woah woah woah! I didn't steal those waffles! As part of my job, Pinkie said I could eat leftover pastries and you and your daughter already paid and left!"
"Oh, is that it? I must've still had some booze in me then. Okay, sorry for beating ya into the ground then. Come on sweetie we need to leave before it get's really hectic."
With that said Berry drops Flash onto the ground as if he was a sack of potatoes and walks off with her daughter in hoof. As you watch this scene in amusement, you see Flash get up and glare at you as he says,
"Bucking mud pony... Ahem, You see... you leave destruction where ever you go. And your bad influence that makes ponies act violently!"
You glare at Flash slightly as you say,
"Hey I don't affect ponies nega-"
Suddenly you are interrupted when...
During the fight, all the kids break out into song as they beat each other up. “What? But we just had a musical number,” says Nightshade on the roof. “Yeah we usually have at least 5 a day around town, but two in the same location is rare even for us,” says Applebloom. “I’m not complaining, I love show tunes,” says Sweetie. “Of course you do,” snarks Scootaloo.
Break down, take down Now it's on Sold out, blow out Don't get caught
Well no, hay no What you gonna do? When we keep coming for you
You and Flash stare at the foal in confusion as you both think
Did he just say Donkey Kong?
Suddenly a member from the Rainbow Dash fan club bucks the singer away from the mic and catches it as he continues to sing,
See the shadows marching on Yesterday's dreams are fled and gone
Dead and gone Hear 'em cheering up above Down below is push and shove Yeah, push and shove
On cue, several Rainbow-wigged foals proceed to do just that.
Break down, take down Now it's on Sold out, blow out Don't get caught Well no, hell no What you gonna do? When we keep coming for you
As soon as the foal stops singing a Tennant fan club member knocks him out and nabs the mic from him before singing,
Bet some, get some Knock you down Alone now, showdown Kiss the ground Well no, hay no What you gonna do? Lights out, put 'em in twoooo We'll be coming for you!
As he starts to air guitar with the mic, several Tennant foals start throwing stink bombs everywhere adding to the chaos. Suddenly the Tennant colt stops his air guitar when he notices a whole group of Mare Do Well fans have appeared and are staring him down. To that he responds,
What's up? Buck you up
In response the MMDW fans sing,
Break down, take down Now it's on Sold out, blow out Don't get caught Well no, hay no What you gonna do? When we keep coming for you
Now a whole group of Rainbow Dash fans are singing as they too stare down the Tennant fan.
Bet some, get some Knock you down Alone now, showdown Kiss the ground Well no, hell no What you gonna do? Lights out, put 'em in two We'll be coming for you
We'll be coming for you We'll be coming for you
With that both groups charge at the Tennant colt and collide in a melee.
WITH THE CMC AND NIGHTSHADE
“What? But we just had a musical number,” Nightshade comments from on top the roof.
“Yeah we usually have at least 5 a day around town, but two in the same location is rare even for us,” says Apple Bloom.
“I’m not complaining, I love show tunes,” says Sweetie Belle.
“Of course you do,” snarks Scootaloo.
Apple Bloom glares at them as she says,
"Shhh, check out the Offender and Flash. Somethang's goin on!"
"Cool- Ohhh." Nightshade moans before taking another long sip from her ginger ale tub.
BACK WITH YOU
You and Flash stare in shock at the scene, before you quickly turn to him and say,
"I swear I did not teach them to sing like I do (although they are pretty good). I don't even know where they got the mic from!"
Flash just continues to glare at you, and it looks like he's about to charge when...
In spite of you disbanding the Horde and telling them NOT to help you, a few Horde members (particularity Octavia and Vinyl Scratch) still come to your aid.
"FOR THE HORDE!"
You and Flash look off to the side in surprise to see...
Another hooded figure appear suddenly and lands a three-hit Karate combo on the stunned Flash, knocking him down.
"No matter what you say, I- I mean we the true Horde will never abandon you!" the mare says in an oddly familiar classy voice.
Before you could berate her for ignoring your order to disband, suddenly a few more ponies in Horde cloaks show up causing even more chaos to the already hectic melee.
"Tatakai no naka ni kotae ha aru. (The answer lies in the heart of battle.)" as he takes off his helmet and chucks off his regulation Royall Guard horseshoes before donning a pair of red gloves and charging at you.
"Shoryuken!" you both declare at the same time as they both use the technique ending in a draw as their uppercuts hit each other under the jaw and knock them both back.
"Very good offender... It seems you are as powerfull as the rumors say." Says the bandanna stallion.
"Thanks, you're also pretty good. By the way, how do you know that attack?" you ask.
"My master learned it from his master that is the descendant of masters that learned it from the original one, and you?"
"I read it in a book." you reply simply with a shrug. "And all those video games didn't hurt either."
"Of course... Your lack of control makes your self-training apparent. However, I know things that mere reading and games cannot teach!" he declares as he puts his two front hooves together and declares,
"Hadoken!!" as a magic ball shoots from his hooves and knocks you back.
"Ugh... Dang Magic..." you groan as you get back up.
"It's not magic, it is Ki... Hadouken!!" he declares as he throws another magic ball, but this time you're prepared,
"Would you Kindly BURN!!!" you say as you use the Power Glove to ignite the magic ball, causing an explosion that put smoke between you.
"Now... It's my turn..." you say.
"Talk is cheap." he replies.
"You asked it... Kaaaameeeee.....Haaaameeee" you declare as you bring your front hooves together and back.
"Wait... What? Are you really...?" the bandanna-wearing stallion says in surprise.
As the bandanna stallion prepares to defend himself against this attack, you suddenly say,
"Haaaaa!" as you throw both hooves forward... and only cause a gust of air to lightly breeze against him. He lets his guard down in disbelief as he says,
"Disgrace to your art-"
"Wouldyoukindlyfreeze!" you rapidly say, freezing the stallion in place as you run off. But find your path blocked by brawling ponies. Needing a distraction you point and yell,
"Look it's Luna posing for Playcolt!"
"WHERE?!" all the stallions (and quite a few of the mares) say as they all look around excitedly allowing you to run through them undetected into an alley where you crash into a strange filly spray painting a message on a wall,
"Discord Rules, Celestia Drools" you read.
A strange message, but at least tis not- Selena begins to say before you blink and your eyes widen as it now reads,
THE NIGHTMARE COMES
"GAHHH!" you yell in frustration...
"There he is!!!"
...Alerting the guard to your location. As you run off chased by the guards, one of them notices the graffiti and says,
"I knew it! The Hooded Offender is in league with Discord!!"
"What? No! It wasn't me... It was that fill-" you say only to notice that the strange filly has disappeared.
"Buck..." you mutter as you make a run for it and as you do you spot...
Spot Caramel and make him pay for eating YOUR Naco.
Caramel hiding under a table.
"Naco thief!" you remember darkly as you pull out your Power Glove and says, "Would you kindly GO FLYING!" before using telekinesis to pick up Caramel, swing him like a club to knock away the Royal Guard ponies chasing you, and then throw him into a crate of taco sauce.
As you smirk in satisfaction at getting your revenge you hear...
“Rainbows are lame!” shouts a MDW filly. “Your hat is lame!” shouts a rainbow fan filly. “Girls, girls!” shouts a Tennant colt. “Your outfits are equally stupid!” “YOU TAKE THAT BACK!” they both shout as they turn on the colt together.
“Rainbows are lame!” shouts an orange filly wearing a Mysterious Mare Do Well hat and cape.
“Your hat is lame!” responds a rainbow-wigged fan filly.
“Girls, girls!” shouts a Tennant colt with an orange mane, “Can't we all just get along and agree that both your outfits are equally stupid!”
“YOU TAKE THAT BACK!” they both shout as they turn on the colt together and start beating on him.
Deja vu much... Selena comments.
You start to slow down as all the negativity begins to hit you. You can't help but think,
Curse my changeling-ness for sensing emotions! Normally I can just ignore it, but I guess since they're kids it affects me more. Luna, I need a drink...
Your eyes brighten when you see a bowl of punch behind two guards. You smirk slightly as you...
All this fighting is making you thirsty. Fortunatly you spot a tub of refreshment so you go, "Uppercut! Downer-cut! Bowl of PUNCH!"
You then proceed to smash the empty punch bowl onto a nearby guards head, but before you have time too rest...
A pair of pegasus try to launch a tornado/twister at you, but it backfires as you should never use a cyclone against someling who's played ALOT of Street Fighter...
You look up to see a twister coming right at you! Unfortunately you look up too late a you get caught up in it and start getting spun around.
"Aw buck yeah!" a pegasus guard exclaims, "That bounty is mine!"
He rushes in to grab you while you're still in the tornado, but unfortunately for him...
You've played ALOT of Road Fighter. Managing to grab the Guardpony in midair, you put him into piledriver position and use the momentum to spin you both. As the twister dissipates, you both spin towards the ground as you call out,
As you both slam down onto a Cabbage cart, the force of the impact exploding the cart and sending cabbage heads zooming everywhere, slamming into and knocking over brawling ponies.
"What is supposed to be hurting me?! I'm a gorram vampony!" before taking out a toy flintlock pistol and rushing into a group of brawling Guards/Horde members/adult MMDW fans and starts swinging away. One filly throws a lamp at him, but he shatters it with a kick and yells,
"I DON'T CARE HOW MANY LAMPS YOU THROW AT ME, I'M NOT GONNA REVIEW THEM!!!"
With that, he just continues to rant as he hits everything in sight, knocking pones everywhere. Eventually one pony yells,
Fortunately his insanity-fueled rampage is ended when multiple ponies dogpile him, but you use his rampage to escape as you think,
Wow... he is the only pony I know (besides me) who would be getting into fights over something that stupid. Oh well, he seems to be handling it pretty well. Now all I need to do is fine Mar-*crash*
Your eyes widen in shock as you get pushed down by a rainbow blur. You groan in pain as you see Rainbow Dash slowly get off you. You glare at her slightly as you get up and say,
"Rainbow! What... the... buck."
Your eyes widen in shock as you see that you and Rainbow Dash are now surrounded by guards. You and Rainbow go back to back as you say,
"Uh, Rainbow? Got any ideas?"
Rainbow Dash shakes her head as she says,
"Not really. Does punching and kicking them all count as a plan?"
You chuckle slightly at this as you say,
"Not really...but that hasn't stopped me yet!"
With that you and Rainbow are about to charge the guards when...
You notice a colt on top of a hill, but surprisingly he's wearing polished white armor with blue stripes and helmet which has a T-shape visor. He makes a gesture with his hoof and suddenly another colt appears next to him until more start appearing.
"Wait, are those Clone Troopers?" you comment.
One of the colt throws several stink bombs mocked up to look like canisters into the air and detonates it around you thus catching the 5 MDW, Royal Guards and the fan foals off guard. You look around and see Rainbow Dash wondering what's going on until you hear a mighty battle cry.
"For the horde!"
"What the hay is going on!?!" Rainbow Dash shouts in confusion.
"Colt Troopers!"
You notice the colts holding a modified version of a water gun which was glowing cyan blue. He pulls the trigger squirting bright blue water... that completely misses anything.
"Flank them!" one of the Colt Troopers shouts causing them to open fir- I mean water with their water guns only to completely miss as well. While you and Rainbow Dash stare at the troopers in confusion and awe, one of them comes up to you.
"Hooded Offender sir, Me and my team will escort you to safety and away from this battle. Follow me sir." Soon he is joined by a few more troopers.
You and Rainbow share a shrug as you and her begin to follow the colt troopers... Until they get tackled by squad of Mysterious Mare Do Well fan fillies. Before you or Rainbow Dash could react, Rainbow get's tackled by a orange blur. You look back in shock to see Flash and Rainbow staring each other down. And it looks like they're about to charge at each other, when a random guard charges at Rainbow Dash. However, the rainbow daredevil just smirks as she...
Uses a karate-move to maneuver the guard in front of her where he gets accidentally socked in the face by Flash.
"Where the buck is Twilight?!" Rainbow Dash asks as she hits Flash in the face with a headbutt.
"Huh? What do you mean?" you ask as you Falcon Punch a Mysterious Mare Do Well into a pair of guards.
"Well, Celestia ordered us to get the civvies out of your- I mean, the Offender's way if we see him. Not a whole lot of evacuating going on right now!"
One of the horned Mare Do Wells suddenly stiffens, and her hat actually jumps up from her head, straight into the air before it lands on her again and she whistles before teleporting away. On que, several of the Mysterious Mare Do Wells also run off as well, but even with this reduction, it still leaves you with the brawling ponies to deal with.
Rainbow Dash tackles Flash before he hits you again, but he throws her off and crouches down, ready to charge.
"Snap out of mind control Raibow Dash! Besides, speed isn't enough!"
Rainbow just smirks and mirrors his pose.
"That's what slowpokes say."
They fly at each other and bounce off and climb high into the sky, continuously circling and charging together. The impacts sound like thunder, and at the apex of their battle, they lock together and plummet down before smashing down onto a table. When the dust settles, Rainbow Dash is still standing as she says,
"What I tell ya? Slowpoke-"
"Armor." Flash smiles before sweeping out her legs from under her and rolling away. Rainbow Dash flaps her wings before she hits the ground, spinning in place and landing on her feet again. They crouch down for another round, but you notice that Ponyville is now in a MASSIVE free-for-all with guards, ponies, and even foals beating each other to a pulp. In annoyance you yell,
"Enough of this bullspit! Would you kindly...
Try to use "Murder of Crows" only for it to not work due to there not being any crows nearby. Then you drink the Insect Swarm plasmid and unleash a swarm of hornets and bees from your arm holes leading to ponies yelling, "Bees. My Celestia." "OH, NO! NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES! AAAAAHHHHH! OH, THEY'RE IN MY EYES! MY EYES! AAAAHHHHH! AAAAAGGHHH!"
"Be swarmed by crows!"
...
Instead of seeing a stream of crows pop out of your arm holes and attack the guards like your glove was supposed to, nothing happens. You glare at your glove in annoyance as you shake it up and down while saying,
"Come on you hunk of junk! Work! You were doing fine with the crows back on Hearts and Hooves day, why not now!"
Rainbow Dash just looks over at you in confusion as she asks,
"Tennant! What are you doing! I can't stop this riot with you just standing there, so hurry up and blast them with your magic or something!"
You just glare at her in response as you shout,
"I'M TRYING ALRIGHT!"
You glare at your glove, before you remember the bottle of Insect Swarm in The Inventory. Smirking as you uncomfortably move your hoof around to reach into the Inventory to pull out the Insect Swarm, you finally manage to grab it. When you pull it out and uncork it with your magic, you tell Rainbow,
"Hey Rainbow.."
"What!?"
"This is gonna sting... alot."
With that said you down the contents of the Insect Swarm ("Mmm... Honey."), and as soon as you do, you feel a burning buzzing pain in your Power Glove arm. You pull back the sleeve to see your arm starting to get a a hive-wasp texture as painful boils start to sprout. You grit your teeth and give pained labors of pain as insects start to sprout from some of the boils and go crawling into your arm holes. Rainbow Dash notices this and looks at you in a worry/panic as she ask/yells,
"Tennant! What the buck is happening?!"
You grit your teeth in pain and smirk slightly as you say,
"That Rainbow, was a upgrade."
With that you throw your arm forward and release a horde of wasps, hornets, and bees that swarm out and start stinging everypony around you, Because most of them are bees, one of the Royal Guard lieutenants takes off the sun glasses he was wearing and says,
You and Rainbow Dash can only stare in absolute shock and confusion at how out of hoof everything quickly became. The silence is ended when you say,
"Aaaaand that's my cue to exit."
With those words of wisdom, you make a break for one of your escape routes. Rainbow Dash notices this and shrieks...
“What?!” she shrieks, “Don’t leave me alone!” she says as she throws one of the Mare Do Wells off of her and flies after you.
“What?! Don’t leave me alone!” as she smashes past a hornet-swarmed Flash and begins to chase after you, which you don't notice as you continue to run for your escape route.
MEANWHILE WITH THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS AND NIGHTSHADE
Foal Free Press; READ ALL ABOUT IT! CIVIL WAR IN PONYVILLE! MASKED OFFENDER ATTACKS TOWN! Nightshade to other CMC; Do you think we over-exaggerated what happened?" Others ; Hmmm... Nope!
Nightshade and the CMC are watching everything play out, pitching headlines for this story,
"Ponyville Pounded by Powerful Platoons of Pegasi!" Scootaloo shouts.
"No, no, no," Apple Bloom says, "Hero Standoff Ends in Street Fight!"
"I got it! READ ALL ABOUT IT! CIVIL WAR IN PONYVILLE! MASKED OFFENDER ATTACKS TOWN!" Sweetie Belle yells.
"Don't you think we're over-exaggerated what happened?" Nightshade comments.
"Hmmm... Nope!" the others say unanimously.
Nightshade shrugs as she says, "I still say we should call it a clusterbuc-"
"Shush!" Sweetie Belle says as she points to Rainbow Dash chasing the Offender away. "They're getting away! We have to follow them!"
"But what about all this?" Nightshade points out.
Sweetie taps her chin in thought for a moment, and her eyes light up. She takes a breath and shouts,
"OH NO! WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN? THE FOALS ARE FIGHTING, TOO! WON'T SOMEPONY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN?!"
The brawl pauses at this as all the adults stop fighting and turn to see the foals have gotten caught up in the chaos and are beating/squirting/throwing/noogieing each other.
"What have we done?!" a mare cries.
"They don't know what to think about this mindless violence," another says.
Flash Sentry flies over and into the middle of a 5-colt melee and pulls them off each other.
"Break it up, boys! We need to have a long and serious talk about this."
Nightshade gawks at the scene, "Wow, they actually stopped."
"I know," Scootaloo says. "Look, they're actually listening to what Flash is saying."
"Well, he is a guard," Apple Bloom adds. "He knows what fighting is all about. If he can't explain what violence is, when and where it might be necessary, and the kind of impact it can have on ponies and their lives, who can?"
Nightshade nods. "I think everyone could learn something from this."
"Yeah, we don't have time for all that life lessons stuff." Scootaloo says as she puts away her notepad and runs to the ladder to climb down,
"Nothing interesting is happening here anymore. Let's follow the Hooded Offender and Rainbow Dash!"
BACK WITH YOU
You don't notice any of this as you see your escape route... a sewer cover (you spotted this while you were scouting out the area, and you remembered how you used the sewers with Flash and the CMC during the Loveocalypse. Plus, you managed to get a look at a map of the Ponyville sewer system after that whole thing and you remembered that there was a sewer pipe that leads to a dumping ground in the Everfree forest). Anyway, you open the sewer cover and jump in followed in by a Rainbow blur a few minutes later...
As you try to escape through the sewers you see a bit of graffiti on the wall that says. “Gummy Was Here” and right below it “So Was Tank.” You then encounter a few Alligators in the Bucking Sewer, probably Gummy’s parents. React accordingly.
As you run through the system of sewer pipes and barely manage to avoid tripping on empty boxes of pizza, you briefly pause when you notice some graffiti that says,
Gummy Was Here
and right below it
So waz Tank
As you're reading the graffiti, you suddenly notice an alligator sleeping beneath the graffiti.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! ALLIGATOR, THERE'S A BUCKING ALLIGATOR IN THE BUCKING SEWER! WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT THAT WAS A THING!"
With that you run past the alligator. Not noticing that the alligator gives a brief yawn... revealing that the alligator has no teeth.
After some more running, you turn a corner to where the exit should be, but screech to a halt when you run into a grated roadblock with a small squad of Royal Guards currently minding their own business,
"-on't call it a Quarter Pounder with Cheese?"
"Nah, dude, they got the metric system. They wouldn't know what the buck a Quarter Pounder is."
"What do they call it?"
"They call it a-Sweet Celestia!"
All the guards snap to attention and take up a formation in front of the roadblock.
"What was that you were saying about Ms. Sparkle being paranoid for setting up a checkpoint here?"
"Shut it."
"I don't have time for this FUS RO DAH!"
With that roar of power, the Royal Guard ponies are sent exploding out of the sewer, smashing through the roadblock and giving you a clear path into the Everfree forest.
EVERFREE FOREST
After jumping out of the sewer pipe and into the bog you say,
"Oh thank Luna I made it. Stupid sewers, stupid alligators in sewers, and stupid sewer guards. Now I just need to hide ou-*wham*"
You suddenly feel yourself being tackled from behind. You quickly get back up and turn around to punch but see it’s Rainbow.
“The hay man?! Why’d you bail on me?!” she asks angrily.
“I told you that I would when things got too crazy!” you angrily reply.
“Well yeah, but still, I was getting swarmed!”
“Well guards won’t try to kill you for being dressed as the most wanted being in Equestria!” you counter
“Oh yeah...”
You take your hood off revealing your doctor scarf and face mask as you put your hat back on as you continue, “So I say we just stay here and wait for this whole thing to blow ov...”
“TENNANT?!” shouts a familiar sounding country voice.
You both look over and see Applejack taking off her Mare Do Well face mask.
“Applejack?” both you and Rainbow shout in surprise.
“What in tarnation are you doing dressed as The Offender?!” she asks.
“What are you doing dressed as the Mysterious Mare Do Well?!” you both reply.
Another Mare Do Well comes forth and takes her hood off, “Applejack, we weren’t supposed to reveal ourselves yet!” says a frustrated Twilight.
“Twilight?!” you and Rainbow yell.
“I know, but something ain't right here, Tennant ain't the no good varmit” Applejack says to Twilight, ignoring you.
Another Mare Do Well takes her hood off and it’s Pinkie, “Oh oh, maybe there are multiple Offenders like there’s multiple of us!”
“I don’t think so Pinkie...” says a guilty looking Fluttershy as she takes her mask off.
“I concur, The Offenders cloak is much more stylish and intricate than that one,” says Rarity as she points at you.
You look at her in annoyed confusion as you think
First you think it's tacky, now you think its stylish and intricate. MAKE UP YOUR MIND LADY! Now besides that...WHAT IN THE NAME OF LUNA IS GOING ON!?
Finally, Rainbow has enough and voices what both of you are thinking.
“OK! Just what in the name of Tartarus is going on here!” shouts Rainbow Dash.
"And how did you find us? We went through the stinking sewers! There should have been no way you could have found us?" you add.
Pinkie jumps up and down excitedly as she says,
"Oh Oh Oh! We found you because my Pinkie Sense said to go to the sewers and Mister Gator in the sewers told me he saw you come by!"
You and Rainbow stare at Pinkie in confusion, before you say,
"Pinkie... are you saying the alligator in the sewer told you we went by him?"
Pinkie nods her head excitedly as she says,
"Yeppers! I mean Fluttershy had to translate a bit, but Yeppers!"
"That and we followed the sound of the Fus Ro Dah." Twilight adds.
You stare at her for a few minutes before you take a deep breath and say,
"You know what, buck it. You're just too random to even complain about right now. Anyway what happened is..."
ONE EXPLANATION LATER
“So you had Tennant dress up as The Hooded Offender just so you could be bigger than Mare Do Well again?” asks Twilight.
“Yeah, ever since that Gabby Gums article, I haven’t been seen as cool anymore” Rainbow laments.
“Wow, a whole day...” you mutter sarcastically.
“Oh don’t worry about that Rainbow, we found out that the Cutie Mark Crusaders were the ones writing those articles, now we can shun and ostracize them, I know I have,” says Rarity.
“Darn Tootin,” agrees Applejack.
“Wait really? i mean those girls are definitely grounded, but how can you abandon your own sisters?" you say.
“BECAUSE SHE STOLE MY DIARY!!!...” Rarity says unhinged, “Ahem... and no amount of blood can make up for the secrets they revealed.”
“Well there go the flying lessons I was gonna teach the squirt,” Rainbow Dash says, “But getting back on topic, you guys decided to show me up because you thought I was showboating too much?”
“Yes, your head was getting too swollen and it was annoying all of us,” says Twilight.
“Then why didn't you all tell me?” she asks.
“We tried, but you kept just blowing us off!” says Applejack.
“Oh come on, I wasn't that bad was I?”
“Yes!” everypony says as you add,
"Even I tried to tell you, but you were willing to ignore a pony falling to her death just to sign more autographs!"
“On top of all the showboating, you were making Spike write your book without pay!” says Twilight.
“Oh please, as if you pay him for all his chores,” counters Rainbow.
“I do pay him! Not only that, but he gets Gems as bonuses plus he’s under my insurance policy” responds Twilight.
“Oh... Well how the hay did you all come up with this Mare Do Well idea?”
“Tennant gave me an idea about how to teach you a lesson, and we were in a comic book store, so we just rolled with it,” says Twilight.
Rainbow glares at you and you chuckle nervously as you remember off hoofedly telling Twilight about how you would deal with an annoying Rainbow Dash,
“Hey, I just said to give you a taste of your own medicine, I didn't plan any of this.”
“We never meant to hurt you Rainbow,” says Fluttershy.
“Yeah, that was never part of the plan,” agrees Pinkie, “we just thought that your brains had been all gobbledeegooped by the Offender and we were trying to help you.”
“By tackling and beating me up?” she asks.
“Yupperooni!” she replies.
“Thanks... but ya guys, I’m sorry if I was getting on your nerves” she humbly responds.
“No, we’re sorry Rainbow, we never meant any of this to get so out of hoof” says Twilight.
“Don’t worry, I forgive you guys too...” she says as they all have a group hug, which you are suddenly pulled into.
“And we’re sorry to you too Sugarcube, we didn't know it was you,” says Applejack.
“Yeah, sorry Tennant,” they all respond (although you barely notice that Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy are mainly directing their portions of the group hug towards you).
“That was a very nice thing you did for Rainbow... even if everything kind of went to Tartarus back there,” says Twilight.
"By the way, why did you even agree to go along with Rainbow Dash's plan anyway." Rarity asks.
You chuckle nervously and rub a hoof behind your head, "I... thought it would be a good prank?"
At this, Twilight hoofs a small bag of bits to a smirking Rarity while Twilight mouths to Bugze Couldn't last 1 more week could you!, Fluttershy rolls her eyes as she already knows, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie hoofbump you for doing a good job, and Applejack mumbles, "Why did ah fall for such a goof ball..."
“Anyway... think we should go back and stop the riot Rainbow Dash indirectly created with her ego?” you ask.
All of the Mane 6 get stunned reactions at this, but what you don’t know is that four certain fillies had watched and overheard this conversation.
“Girls... I know what we have to do,” says Nightshade.
BACK TO PONYVILLE When everypony gets back to town, all Seven of you go on stage and begin to explain the whole thing to the guards and the town. In essence, the moral of the story is; don’t let Flame Wars occur between different fandoms, and don’t be a jerk to your friends.
On a nearby rooftop, the Cutie Mark Crusaders and Featherweight, get everyone’s attention, and get quite a few glares.
They publicly apologize for their actions, and how they only wanted to get their cutie marks. Basically their whole apology letter from the episode, said aloud and everypony forgives them. Then Nightshade adds,
“Besides, this was all Diamond Tiara’s fault anyway.”
“You jerks, we’re ruined now,” says Diamond Tiara as she hastily climbs onto the roof, “Now I’ll never bankrupt daddy!”
“Wait, what was that?” says a concerned Filthy Rich.
“Besides, you can’t trust her! She’s a secret Alicorn!” says the twitchy Diamond Tiara as she rips off Nightshade’s vest which gasps from the crowd (especially a worried one form you) but underneath there are no wings.
“Wai... Wha...” stutters Diamond Tiara, before Nightshade glares into her eyes,
“No one rips my vest! And you’re not my boss anymore, You’re fired! FALCON KICK!”
And knocks Diamond Tiara away... forgetting that they are on a roof.
“AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!”
“Nightshade! What have you done?!!!” the Cutie mark Crusaders cry in fear.
As she sees her plummeting, she realizes that she's most likely killed her. Sure she’s a jerk, but she doesn't want that. “NOOOOOOO!!!!!” Nightshade cries and you whip out your Power Glove to use telekinesis when a web materializes under DT and she safely lands in it. Everypony looks up and sees...
“Spidermane?!” everypony shouts in surprise.
Nightshade apologizes to him, “I’m sorry, I didn't mean it! THANK YOU FOR SAVING HER!”
“Everypony gets one,” he replies.
"Wait a minute, where were you during the free-for-all riot!" you say, "Whatever happened to 'with great power comes great responsibility'?"
"Uh... Remember kids, don't do drugs!" Spidermane hastily says before swinging off.
“This changes nothing SpiderMane! I WILL GET PICTURES OF YOU!” shouts Diamond Tiara
“Actually my camera is out of film... sorry,” responds Featherweight.
“GGGGRRRRAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!” she screams while you and everyone else just kind of sit there dazed at what just happened. Bulk Biceps walks up to you and says,
"Excuse me, you ever heard of a pegasus colt called Featherweight?"
"If you mean that little shutterbug I had to threaten and throw mud at, then yes." you reply obliviously.
"So, you admit to picking on my little bro?” he says with a dark undertone.
“i guess so. Wait-*pow*” and he hits you with a hook to the nards which knocks you back.
"Saw that coming." Flash comments.
"Yeah... he did deserve it." Applejack comments.
"Daddy! Falcon Kick!" *clang* "Ow!"
Nightshade kick not only hurts her, but it has no effect on Bulk.
“Wha...” she says as she rubs her hoof.
As Bulk picks up his smiling little brother, Featherweight, he says, “I got balls of steel.” before walking off.
You slowly try to get up, but your in too much pain to get very far. So you tell Nightshade from where your laying in a high pitched tone,
"Sweetie, why don't you go play with your friends. Daddy's just gonna... lay here for awhile. Okay."
Nightshade nods her head in understanding as she says,
"Okay Daddy."
"Hey Nightshade, want to help me make snacks for the Dragon Migration." Spike calls.
"Does a bear spit in the woods?!" Nightshade says excitedly as she runs off after the young Dragon.
A FEW HOURS LATER
As you walk back to the shack you mutter to yourself,
"Ow... that muscle-bound jerk must be compensating for something if he can punch that hard. Of course given he's most definitely on steroids he probably is-Ugh I can still barely feel them. Whatever... I am SO pranking that lug..."
Smiling as you remember the box of cereal in your Inventory AND the fact that Nightshade is learning a replication spell from Twilight, you open the door to the shack and say,
You're cut off when you hear that barely-familiar female voice and see a figure step a holed hoof out of the shadows of the back of the shack. Your eyes widen in shock/terror as you can now see the figure before you.
Your eyes widen even more at the familiar changeling noise as you notice that to her left and right there are two other changelings, but they're too much in the dark to make out any details. But the lead changeling looks familiar with her pink mane, and you soon find out why as she says,
"Or should we say, Private 9001."
Your eyes widen in shock, as you can only think,
She... she's from my hive!
What do you do?
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY HIVE MIND (This is not a chapter it is a intermission... technically speaking)
Hello Hive Mind, DWC here to bring some exciting news!
Today officially marks the 1 year anniversary of The Life of a Wanted Changeling! That's right folks, it's been a whole year since I started this fic up! I can't tell you all how proud I am that this fic has lasted for so long, and it's all thanks to you guys!
You guys and girls have been supporting me and this fic for so long, and I can't help but thank you all. Even through lately the fic hasn't been updated as frequently as it used too (which will hopefully change when summer starts) and I've had to cancel chapters more often then not. But you guys have stuck by me even then. Heck, you let me call you guys the Hive/Prime Mind because you read a fanfic that I made!
No matter what, you guys are the best, and it makes me so happy everyday when I see you guys give your comments and choices, not to mention how much fun it is to type it all!
Anyway, to celebrate the 1 year anniversary, I have a little contest for you all. The challenge is for you guys to take what you found to be the most awesome thing from the series, and to make it into a awesome image! It could be a drawing, SFM, or a deviantart thingy. Or you could write up a scene with the characters from the series celebrating the anniversary! Either way, just express your love for the series someway somehow!
There will be three winners of the challenge, and they shall have there OC's featured in the story, or they can have there picture become the new group photo. They can also have the choice too have one thing happen in the fic no matter what!
I can't wait to see all your entries, and may the best three Hive/Prime Minder win!
And, a toast to a year of this series, may it go on to continue and be great!
As the night sky... Does whatever night skies do, you continue to look at the female changeling in shock and fear.
"At last, we have finally found you Drone 9001." the female changeling says to you.
"Errr... You're in the wrong shack, the changeling you're looking for is in... Sour Pear... Acres?" you lie in a pathetic attempt to get the changelings to leave.
"You're not going to fool me Drone 9001... Or should I say; The Hooded Offender?" she accuses.
"I see you're still as slow as when you were a Private, so I will put this in terms so simple that even you will know what is happening; The hive is coming agent 9001, we are regrouping." she says.
"And why do you think I want to come back? I have friends here, real friends that help me and support me, I have a house and a daughter... You want me? Try it!" you say defiantly as you take up a defensive stance.
The female changeling just sighs while the other two chuckle. You continue to hold your stance as the female changeling says,
"We are not here to fight 9001, we are simply here to talk."
You give her a doubting glare as you say,
"About what?"
The female changeling just gives you a blank stare as she says...
She looks to the two others on the side and they shrug their shoulders. She looks back at you with hardened eyes as she commands,
“Stop fooling around! You are done here! Come with us now! That is an order!”
You glare back, “Listen lady, I ain't a part of your well oiled machine any more (bucking machines)... I don’t take orders from anyling... aside from my boss, but she ain't here right now.”
"You have a duty to your hive, drone! Don't you dare turn back on your pride!"
"Pride?" you scoff, "There's no pride in a hive that doesn't take after its own, especially to a 'failure' like me, isn't that right?" You defiantly say as you glare at your haunting ghosts of your past, "Besides, I'm oh so happy in this little ol' shack here. And there's nothing you can do about it!"
"No?" she says in shock and confusion.
Confused by by her confusion, you raise a brow at her. "Huh?"
"You will come back," she said in confidence. "Do you know what makes us a Hive?"
"Uhm..." You say as you put a hoof to your chin in thought, "Mind control?" You never really paid attention to social studies. And you are darn glad about that, too. Especially now.
She and the other two changelings facehoof before she says,
"No you moron, instinct. It's instinct that tells us who is in the higher power, what our role is, and what purpose and virtue we represent. Our blood permits- no, drives our union. You can't simply just disconnect from the Hive. It's in your blood since the moment you were born! You'll come back to us, whether you like it or not!"
"Aaaand that's bullspit." you counter. "It doesn't apply to me!"
Flabbergasted, the Pink-Maned one says, "What?!"
"I'm a changeling, yeah, that's true, but I'm also part pony! You could blame my Grandbuggy for that. So, hah!" you mocked childishly. "Your argument is invalid!"
"That old bug of a fool?!" she growls, "If weren't for how strong you were, we would've left you alone just by the tainted blood you contain, drone. You're lucky enough we made an exception."
You rolled your eyes so hard that the Changelings became shocked at such uncanny behavior from a drone such as yourself. "Too bad I don't believe in being 'lucky' anymore. Now, get out of my shack."
The female changeling gives a annoyed sigh as she barks out...
“Oh Buck the Queen!” you say harshly, to which all three of them gasp.
“Buck... the... Queen?” she says through gritted teeth as her eyes twitch in anger.
“Yeah, Buck her and the Hive she rode in on.”
“Why you little blaspheming bast-”
“Hey, watch your filthy bucking mouth! I don’t need a Queen alright? I got enough mares already trying to run my life,” you snark.
Hey! I don't run your life, I merely... guide it.
You get a blank look as you mentally deadpanned,
Three words: Assuming direct control.
There's a silence in your head before Selena says,
...Shut up.
Before you can mock her back over you winning one of your arguments with her, the female changeling suddenly glares into you with glowing green eyes as she commands,
Suddenly, you feel something; a connection. You then remember that officers in the Hive had the ability to invoke the "Mind meld" on those of lower rank to force obedience and keep the grunts in line, but it used to have a much larger presence in you. What she is trying to force on you now is weak and pitiful by comparison, but it's still someth-
CEASE THIS MENTAL USURPATION AT ONCE!!!
Suddenly, the female changeling stumbles back as if somepony just punched her. She looks taken aback as her eyes unglow and she questions in surprise,
“H...how are you refusing the Mind Link?”
“I've got powerful friends who make sure my mind is my own,” you declare cryptically.
What little there is to call your own... Selena snarks.
Hey!
“B-but that’s impossible,” she stammers.
“Lady, I've found out that practically anything is possible when it comes to my life, now would you kindly get out of my shed?”
“No,” says the male on the right.
“We have matters to discuss with you,” says the one on the left.
“And we do it now,” they both say at the same time.
“Whoa, that’s creepy... also, still gonna go with no.”
“Oh for,” the female facehooves. She seems familiar to you, but you can’t quite place it...
“Listen, you are going to come with us alright?”
“Ugh... Lady, I have had a stressful day. I have had my lunch stolen, had to act like a bad guy in a smelly cloak, inadvertently won and lost 300 bits, got punched in the nads by a Roid-Raged Pegasus, and had to participate in another all out brawl all because of a bunch of misunderstandings between the most chaotic group of friends I've ever met, so I really, REALLY! Don’t have time for any of your Bullspit right now!”
She and the others look tensely at you, before she sighs.
“It never is easy with you is it?”
“I get that a lot. Now, if you wish to speak with me, let’s set up an appointment, how about after work tomorrow? I’ll be in a much better mood, and I won’t have the urge to squash you all for ambushing me.”
The two males snicker at this, but the Pink maned one actually looks like she is considering it.
“We weren't ambushing you per se, we were...”
And she is cut off as you hear two yelps from outside.
The three changelings rush past you and out your door and you see that two of your traps have been set.
“A spike pit? Who the Buck has a Spike Pit in their front yard?!” yells another female voice. You see a cloaked figure hovering above your spike pit with the familiar changeling wing buzz.
“Dang, didn't think about wings, note to self, add drop net in conjunction with pit,” you mutter.
Speaking of nets, you hear your spring trap go off and see a larger figure dangling by his hoof in the darkness.
“Oh you have got to be kidding me!” a deep and slightly dumb voice sounds
You glare at the Pink Maned changeling and say,
“Not an ambush eh? I’ll talk to you guys tomorrow! Now would you kindly GET OFF MY LAWN!"
“Listen, loser, you don’t want to buck with-” the large dangling changeling says before you interrupt,
“Did you hear me? I said get off my lawn now!”
“No, we need to discuss this now!” the lead female changeling declares.
“Not right now I don’t, but I’ll tell you this; If you don’t buzz off,” you pull out your Power Glove and make flames appear, “I'll burn you all alive and then go back in my shack and sleep like a foal. You can count on that...”
Everyling seems to growl or chuckle at that, but the Pink one actually looks hectic,
“Fine! We’ll see you tomorrow 9001, YOU can count on that.”
With that said, the changelings fly off (they freed the big one while you and their leader were talking).
As soon as you're sure the changelings are out of sight, you go back to your shed in an annoyed huff and commence eating a large dinner of 1/2 a Box of Whole-Wheat Crackers, 1 Can of Broccoli Cheese soup, 1 Instant Noodle Bowl, 1 Large Bag of "Sour Cream & Onion" Potato Chips, 4 Boxes of Filly Scout Cookies, and some leftover creamed corn and a pitcher of carrot juice from the Apples (missing lunch, being the center of a free-for-all, and the stress of being visited by your past really builds up the appetite) and before going to bed.
THE NEXT MORNING
When you wake up to the roosters caw the next morning, you check the Inventory to see Nightshade sleeping there as normal. Remembering your cereal (and surprised that Nightshade hasn't eaten it all), you gently wake her up and ask her to perform her Replication spell (that she's learning from Twilight) on it. After a few painful attempts (meaning she keeps accidentally zapping you with no effect) she successfully clones the box (in spite of you telling her it's bad for ponies Nightshade still tries to puppy-dog-eyes you, but you manage to resist by shoving the box of "Lucky Oats" cereal in her face). But before you could dig in...
“Ow... My Tummy hurts daddy, and eating didn't make it better...” she whines.
“Oh don’t worry baby, daddy will help you, here, drink this,” you say as you hoof her a can of Ginger ale. She quickly chugs it down, but she still holds her tummy in discomfort before collapsing onto the shed floor.
"Nightshade! Luna, this is serious." you say in concern as you hug your baby, "I better take you to the Doc... A REAL one."
1 Cloned Box of "Orange-Frosted Buffo-Bombs" cereal added to The Inventory
You gently pick up the sickly Nightshade and place her on her back before putting the cereal boxes back in the Inventory. You then proceed to find Applejack (who's with Apple Bloom) and you ask her,
"Hey Boss, can I have some bits to take Nightshade to the doctor's?"
Applejack and Apple Bloom become concerned as Applejack asks,
"Oh no, is she hurt?"
Apple Bloom nods her head as she says,
"Yeah, did she over exca... over excua... over use her magic or something in her lessons?"
You shake your head as you say,
"Thankfully nothing like that. Somehow the 'Bottomless Stomach' here got a tummey ache. My home cure of alot of Ginger Ale isn't working, so I'm hoping a quick trip to the doc's will help."
As Apple Bloom nods her head, Applejack gives you a slight glare a she says,
"Ginger Ale... really Mista Tennant?"
You chuckle nervously as you say,
"Well...it worked for me and my Grandbu-er pappy in the past, and he said it worked for my parents. So I thought it runs in the family and that it'll work for her as well. Obviously I was wrong."
Applejack sighs at this as she says,
"Okay, fine. Take your daughter over for a check-up. You can have the day off too to watch over her. Apple Bloom, mind telling Miss Cheerlie that Nightshade won't be at school today?"
Apple Bloom nods her head as she says,
"Sure thing!"
"By the way, can I have some bits to pay the doc?" you ask.
Applejack gives you a weird look and says,
"Uh... y'all are aware we have universal health care, right?"
"You mean the medical technology is made on spaceships?" you ask obliviously.
Applejack facehooves before saying, "No sugercube, I meant that our taxes pay for health care so you don't need bits for a check-up."
"Ohhhh..." you reply before mentally adding,
Universal or not, Quacksalver's still the only "doc" who will keep the fact that I'm a changeling secret.
You nod your head at this before you turn around and begin to head to town as you say,
"Thanks boss, and you too Apple Bloom!"
They smile as they both say,
"Get well soon Nightshade!"
As you walk away, Applejack suddenly remembers something and tells Apple Bloom,
"Oh, I forgot to mention; I'm heading out with mah friends to watch the dragon migration, so ah need you to tell Mistah Tennant that when he get's back."
Before Apple Bloom could respond, Applejack suddenly shivers as she suddenly looks at your distant form worriedly. Apple Bloom notices this as she asks,
"What's wrong big sis?"
Applejack sighs as she says,
"Nothing Bloom, I just got ta feeling that something really bads gonna happen to him..."
Nightshade asks you about the "Granny Smith/Doctor photo" and the "Granny Smith/Bowler Hat Pony photo" that she found in the Apple's attic.
As you walk to the Hospital with Nightshade on your back, you hear her rummaging through her saddle bag. When the rummaging stops, you suddenly have two pictures in your face. You stop walking to take a closer look as Nightshade asks,
"Do you have any idea what these mean, daddy? I found them up in the Apple's attic."
You look at the "Granny Smith/Doctor photo" and chuckle as you say,
"Well that proves something, you see sweetie this is the Doctor in his 4th regeneration (at least according to the serial which even the Doc himself says takes liberties with his life). That's him and a younger Granny Smith outside the TARDIS. This one is-urk!"
Your eyes widen in terror as you see Grandbuggy in disguise... kissing Granny Smith. As you continue to stare in horror you hear laughter in your head,
MWAHAHAHAHHAHAH! HAHAHAH OH SWEET AHAHAHHAHAH! This is hilarious! Thine art related to the Hick because of a fling your Grandbuggy had! And what makes it even better, is that she wants to be your mate and has no clue! BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!
Your eye twitch's in annoyance as you think,
Quit it! I can make you watch all the episodes of "My Little Human" I've been forced to seen on repeat if I wanted to... probably... maybe... shut up!
Sighing as you try to ignore the laughter in your head, you tell Nightshade,
"That's... your great Grandbuggy kissing Granny Smi-"
"ZzzzzzzzZ"
"Huh?"
You look on your back to see Nightshade fast asleep. Sighing at this stroke of luck and putting the pictures into The Inventory as you think,
Oh thank Luna I don't need to tell her yet. Bad enough that I have indisputable proof that I'm related to one of my Stalkers, but now I know for certain that a huge branch of my family wants to kill me... not much of a change from my situation back at the Hive to be honest. Oh well... my family reunion is going to be soooo awkward...
With that thought you continue your quest to the doctors...
When you reach the Doctor's office, you're told that it’ll be about an hour as they run tests, so you go to get some food for her for when she feels better.
When you return to the Doctor's office with some "Get Well Soon" cupcakes ("6 Carrot Cupcakes" added to Inventory, 24 Bits Remaining), you notice the Doctor carrying Nightshade out the front door. You walk back inside and see the secretary, nurse, and real doctor all knocked out. On the doctor is a note that reads,
Follow
*snap*“OH YOU SLIMY MOTHER BUCKERS!!!” both you and Selena cry at the same time as you rush out the door and see the “Doctor” waving with a smirk on his face before galloping into town.
“GET BACK HERE YOU BUCKING BUG!” you scream.
UNLEASH ME NOW! Selena screams.
As you run you counter,
“I can’t, there're too many witnesse-”
BUCK YOUR WITNESSES! IF YOU DON'T UNLEASH ME RIGHT NOW, I WILL ASSUME DIRECT CONTROL AND BUTCHER EVERY WORTHLESS PEASANT BETWEEN ME AN-
"If you do that, we'll hurt Nightshade!" you say as you leap over a trash can the "doctor" knocked over to slow you down.
I... FINE, JUST SAVE MY BABY BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!!! she screams in panic and anger.
"Right!" You says as you chase the Changeling, who keeps taking on different disguises as you have a Benny Hill-type chase through the town.
Eventually Flash flies down alongside you.
“Tennant, what’s going on?” he asks.
“A CHANGELING STOLE MY DAUGHTER!” you yell back.
His eyes widen, “A CHANGELING? But I thought that was just a prank by Gabby Gums!”
“Well it’s not a very good one is it!” you yell back.
"I'll cut him off!" Flash says as he flies on ahead.
As you and Flash tear after the changeling, you suddenly realize something. Nightshade's sickness; it perfectly matches the symptoms of a shot of changeling venom! (*) The fact that Nightshade is showing it's symptoms means...
Those foal-nappers drugged my daughter!
I WILL TEAR THEIR ENTRAILS OUT AND FEED THEIR SCREAMING CARCASSES TO THE GIANT SPIDERS!
You increase your speed as you and Flash chase after the foal-napper. As Flash is just inches away from the "Doctor" he suddenly...
The changelings play a form of "keep-away" with Nightshade where they constantly join, transform, fly, split up, etc. which makes it more difficult to chase them even with the assistance of your friends, (Flash, Comic Book Joe), stalkers (Aloe, Octavia, Vinyl), and Nightshade's friends/stalkers (Button Mash, Rumble, Pip).
Tosses Nightshade to an earth pony with a yellow/brown mane and glasses who runs perpendicular to him out of an alley. You and Flash start chasing him down only for him to run into a trash heap and bolt out in one direction... But you both notice that he isn't carrying Nightshade!
You and Flash screech to a halt and do a 180 before running back to where the garbage heap was before Flash shouts,
"Up there!"
You look to where he's pointing and see a hippogriff flying off with Nightshade.
You growl at what they're doing to Nightshade before you tell Flash,
"There's gotta be someway to catch up too them! Maybe if we had more ponies..."
"EVERYPONY! THERE ARE CHANGELINGS IN TOWN! AND THEY'RE FOALNAPPERS!!!"
Ponyville is silent for a few seconds as everyling stares at you two, before Ponyville once again freaks out. Ponies scream incoherently and run away from nothing, all while you glare silently at Flash.
"Uh... oops? I thought that would help." Flash says, grinning nervously at you. Before you can reply, you spot the hippogriff you'd been chasing before with a bundle on his back.
"After him!" you cry, and you and Flash give chase as the hippogriff dashes into an alley, with the two of you hot in pursuit. You keep chasing as Flash flies over you, landing in front of the hippogriff and cutting his escape off. He backs away, only to see you approaching.
"Alright," you growl with your eyes glowing orange, "You have one chance; Let go of my daughter or your brains will be leaking out of your ears as I pound your head against the hardest and sharpest objects I can find."
The hippogriff's expression is blank as he glances between you and Flash, trying to decide what to do. Suddenly, he grabs the swaddled up foal that must be Nightshade and tosses her up into the air. Before you and Flash can do anything, another pony (an aqua pegasus with a brown and yellow mane) swoops down from the sky and catches the bundled filly, before darting off. Flash flies after her while you stop briefly to Falcon Punch the hippogriff-changeling's head into the alley wall, before returning to the chase.
Flash takes the air route, zooming after the pegasus, who is unfortunately fast enough to keep ahead. You glance around for some way to catch the pegasus from the ground, before you spot the Crusaders' wagon lying next to Scootaloo. You rush up to it and hop in, taking off down the Ponyville streets.
"Hey!" Scootaloo shouts from behind. "That's my wagon!"
In response you toss back 2 boxes of filly scout cookies as you continue down the street, slowly gaining on Flash and the pegasus.
MEANWHILE UP THE STREET
"Aww, this is gonna be sick!" some teens grin as they admire their ramp. "Dare Dervish is gonna come down that hill and make a sweet jump off this ramp!"
"And we'll have it all on film!" another teen finished, holding up a camera.
Suddenly, a screaming comes from up the street, and the teens look to see blurs of aqua and orange streak by overhead, followed by you on the wagon. You let out a shout of terror as your wagon hits the ramp and soars through the air, landing on the rooftops of some houses and continuing to race after the changeling. "Did you get that?" one teen asks.
"Sure did!" the camera holding one, replies.
You continue to ride the wagon as it bumps and bounces across the ponyville rooftops, knocking rooftiles loose and drawing all the closer to the aqua pegasus. Struggling to line up a shot with the Power Glove in spite of all the shuddering the wagon is doing, you manage to cry out,
"Would you kindly LET GO OF MY DAUGHTER MOTHERBUCKER!!?" before blasting the pegasus with a bolt of lightning. The pegasus lets go of Nightshade with a cry of pain as she falls away and Nightshade drops like a rock, but Flash zooms down to catch her.
"Yes! *CRASH* Ow, ow!" you say as the wagon finally tumbles of the roofs and crashes to the ground with you.
"Celestia," Flash says as you pick yourself up, "What have you been feeding this foal? She's heavy as a rock."
"Hey! Don't call my baby fat!" You snap as you snatch the bundle from Flash and tear off the blankets to reveal... a vaguely foal-shaped rock. Both you and Flash turn to see the pegasus giggling on the ground.
"Sorry about your daughter," she chuckles. "But she wouldn't have been so scared if she was a little boulder. Aha ha!"
"There!" Flash cries, spotting another pony dashing away, this one a red unicorn with a yellow mane and another swaddled bundle in his telekinetic grip. The two of you race after him as he runs into the town square, disappearing into the chaotic crowd of panicking ponies. Before you can race after the foal-napper, you see the other one try to sneak off. You growl slightly as you turn around to her and say,
Bugze used Sand Attack! Bugze Ran Away!
"Pocket sand!" as you throw some sand in her face, causing her to cry out in pain as she grabs her sandy eyes.
You smirk cruelly at the pegasus-bug's pain, before you turn around and continue to chase after the foal-napper. You catch up with Flash as you continue to chase after the foal-napper. As you chase after him, a sudden green and grey blur try to tackle her, but they miss by a inch. As you and Flash briefly stop where they landed you see that they are...
Octavia and Lyra who are in the middle of getting back up,
“Don’t worry Tennant, we’ll catch this slimy Bug.”
“And we will get your daughter back!” Octavia adds.
“Thanks guys, Flash, where are the Deadly 6? We could use their changeling hunting skills!” you say as the four of you start chasing the unicorn-changeling.
“Umm... I'm not too sure, Twilight told me they were going to watch the Great Dragon Migration.”
“Great Dragon wha- There he is!” you shout as you spot him darting into an alley way.
As you continue to chase after the foal-napper, more ponies begin to join the chase. Vinyl and some other unicorns trying to grab onto the foal-napper with their magic as Thunderlane, Flash, and some other pegasus try dive bomb him, but he keeps dodging them because members of these groups would reveal themselves as changelings and knock some away before changing into another pony and diving into another group, causing even more confusion.
As you notice Aloe, Octavia and some other earth ponies are holding pitchforks and torches in an angry mob you can't help but think,
Huh, weird being part of one of these things for once. Plus I'm really glad they don't know I'm one. Now how do I slow them down...
*ding*
You get a great idea when you spot...
Punt Angel Bunny at one of the changelings (yes, he's Fluttershy's pet rabbit, but something tells you he REALLY deserves it... Maybe the "Kill the Waifu Stealer" voices found a new target?)
KILL THE DEVIL BUNNY! HE'S MEAN AND ABUSES FLUTTERSHY-SENPAI!
I thought I got rid of these pests! Selena comments in annoyance.
You gain a deadpanned look as you think,
I guess the voices found a new target. But considering the circumstances AND he's apparently been mean to FLuttershy... With that thought you smirk evilly as you charge at the bunny and yell,
The rabbit looks up with a look of shock and terror on his face that is replaced with a Falcon Kick to the face that's so hard that if this were a visual format instead of a typed fanfic, we'd replay the impact three times.
"OH SURE! HIT EVERYTHING BUT THE BUCKING TARGET!" you yell in annoyance, "WHAT ARE YOU, PART STORM TROOPER YOU STUPID FUZZBALL?!"
"I think that was Miss Fluttershy's pet rabbit, Angel-" Flash comments before you just grunt in anger and shout,
"I DON'T BUCKING CARE! I'LL WORRY ABOUT IT AFTER I SAVE MY DAUGHTER AND BREAK EVERY BUCKING BONE IN THAT BUG'S BODY TILL IT'S NOTHING BUT SLIME! Besides, the voices in my head that normally tell me to hurt you tell me that he was abusing FLuttershy!"
"Good p- Wait what?!"
Ignoring Flash, you boost forward with a shout of anger as you charge ahead of the group after the foalnapper who's heading into the Everfree forest when somepony yells...
At this, the Ponyville mob looks up and sees about a thousand dragons blanketing the sky. Many of the ponies start diving for cover to avoid dragon fire while others watch in awe, but you don't notice any of this as you're too focused on rescuing your daughter from your past. You might have heard Flash and some of the others call after you, but you don't notice their warnings get fainter and fainter as you charge even deeper into the Everfree forest, Psycho Crushing through any trees and creatures dumb enough to get in your way...
As you run deeper into the Everfree, everything got darker and eventually you lose sight of the changelings in the dark foliage of the Everfree forest that you began to get panic-y and frustrated.
"Buck! Where the buck are they?!" you yell in panic and frustration as you look around wildly while continuing to run forward with no clear destination in mind. Eventually, you got lost in the middle of nowhere.
"Guaah! I don't have time to get lost! Selena, can you pinpoint Nightshade?"
I would if I could! But she's not asleep!
"BUCK!" you cry as you punch a dying tree so hard that it breaks in half and topples over, "YOU'RE BUCKING DEAD!!!" you roar in the Royal Canterlot Voice to the darkness around you, "YOU ARE ALL SO BUCKING DEAD!!!"
Eheheeh... I see you've got yourself into another bind. you hear a voice say in your head before you realize... It's your shadow!
"Oh, come on!" you cry out. "I don't want to bucking deal with you right now!"
GET OUT!!! Selena screams.
Tch. You are indeed a terrible changeling. Pathetic, you can't even use the senses that's instilled into you!
Senses? Ah!
That word triggers a memory... About Scouting. Detecting. Finding. Tracking- Grandbuggy!
FLASHBACK
"Alright, @#$%, you wanna know how I get all the ladies?"
"Erm, no, Grandbuggy, I don't wanna kno-"
"It all starts in here," he pointed a hoof to where the mind is. "Mares are a delicate and complicated bunch. You gotta know what goes in their mind to even earn a single base. If you don't, then they'll turn into Brain Ninjas and assassinate your sanity into pieces. And I speak from experience."
"But, Grandbuggy, I-!"
"So here's what you must understand! When you first meet a pony, some sort of bond forms! You'll know when you see it, trust me. It's in you changeling blood! You could call it friendship, acknowledgement, hay, maybe love at first sight, if you know what I mean..." He wraggled his brows.
"Uhm, actually I don't-"
"Well, you'll soon know!" he interrupts. "Whenever there's a bond, take it, and keep it close. And when you got a tight hold into it...
FLASHBACK OVER
Your grandsire's hold meaning. I can feel a connection to her, but it's faint... like a gem shining in the distant darkness...
"...Find the string, and home in on it; watch it intently..." you mutter as you closed your eyes to focus. Soon you do feel this "string", but it is faint, almost lost into the distance around you...
"Pull it into a loving hug, and feel the tug..."
The 'tug' was like a press into your mind, and it pulls you towards a direction. However, it was still too vague. Thankfully, you're still not done,
"Stare into the eyes as it stares back..." A familiar presence washes across you from that direction, as though eyes were on you. You stare back as your eyes shoot open and you declare,
"...and you then kiss the mare!"
Your daddy senses are a tinglin'! All at once, you felt it: your daughters emotions! Fear and hope. Scared. Your baby girl is afraid!
"Nightshade! I'm coming! Daddy is coming to the rescue!"
With that said, you run even deeper into the dark woods that have been nothing but trouble to you. Farther and farther you go, but you don't care. Your daughter needs you!
As you run through the forest towards where you think your baby is, you somehow don't notice the low hanging branch at the level of your horn and-*thwack*.
Pains shoots through your body as you clutch your head in pain, as the new anger coursing through your veins causes you to lash out.
"Would you kindly BURN!" you shout causing a small spurt of flames to pathetically leak out of your Power Glove, barely singing the branch.
You're still on low you fool.
"Shut up!" you growl. as you turn the Power Glove over and check the dial. Sure enough, the dial is still set to [Low]. You grab the dial and sharply turn it back to [High] (almost breaking the dial in the process) before shouting,
"Would you kindly BURN!"
The tree instantly transforms into a blazing inferno and the fire spreads, setting the entire forest around you on fire.
Annnnd now you've set the forest on fire. Congratulations.
"Just shut up!" you scream at your shadow, "I don't need to-"
*Crack*
You look up to see one on the trees has weakened from the flames and has started tipping over. You quickly leap out of the ring of fire and start following the signal from Nightshade, leaving the fire behind you. As you run towards where you feel Nightshade's presence, you don't notice your scarf fall onto the ground as it slowly begins to be consumed by the raging fire...
SOMETIME LATER
You chase after the bugs into the forest, and you are absolutely bucking furious. “When we catch them, squash them into paste!” Selena growls. “If they harm her, they’ll get worse!” you reply
As you get closer to Nightshade's presence you yell,
“When I catch them, I will squash them into paste!”
If they harm a single hair on her mane, they’ll get worse! Selena growls.
Suddenly, three changelings swoop down on you, trying to take you by surprise; the first seems especially keen on taking you down as she charges at you with a flying kick, but in your volatile state, you simply grab her by the leg and swing her like a flail to smash away the others.
"Would you kindly BURN MOTHERBUCKERS!" you scream as you point the Power Glove at the two other changelings and activate the "Incinerate!" plasmid, but seeing how they were still in the air due to you hitting them, you miss and ignite a tree instead. Sensing that they're outmatched, the other two retreat into the forest as soon as they reorient themselves.
"Wait! Don't leave me behind!" the one you've still got a grip on calls after them.
You smack her upside the head, "Quiet! You're going to take me to them now, and you're goin- HEY! What are you doing?!"
She seems to be concentrating really hard for some reason, her eyes glowing blue. You realize she's probably trying to contact the others telepathically, so you slap her horn to break her concentration.
"Calling for help won't work." You tell her, "Even if they did come back to save you I'll just squish them anyway. So you might as well take a message. Kay?!"
"I don't know who you are and I don't know what you want. If you're looking for ransom, I can tell you I only make 40 Bits a day. But what I do have are a particular set of powers; powers that I have collected over a crazy and at times painful life. Powers that would make Nightmare Moon look like a Breezie." You take a pause for dramatic effect, "If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not hunt you down." You then fix the changeling with a glowing orange-eyed glare, "But if you don't let her go, I will look for you, I will find you, I will tear through whatever petty defenses you put up, and I will make you wish I'd kill you."
"That... was actually pretty cool." the changeling in your hoof comments with maybe a hint of snark.
"Really?" you ask "Cause I was kind of improvising since I haven't seen that movie in a long ti-"
"Yeah, in fact it was almost as cool as THIS!" she says before spitting a wad of changeling slime in your face while you're distracted and dashes off while you remove the slime from your face.
As soon as you got the slime off, you spot an ancient looking cave. You feel Nightshade's presence radiating from within it so you blindly charge in while roaring,
"GAHHHHHHHHH-"
BrownDog77 comment
After you run into the cave, eventually you round a bend and are blindsided and dogpiled by 4 changelings; 3 males, and a female with a blonde mane. After a brief struggle, you find two of them holding your front limbs while the other 2 (the female and the big one) are standing in front of you.
“Well well well, if it isn't Mr. Lucky-” says one of the males holding your arms.
“The Luckiest Changeling in the world,” says the other changeling on your left who sounds a lot like the one on your right.
You grit your teeth as you growl in anger at this as "Mr. Lucky" was one of the cruel nicknames you were given in the hive because of your terrible luck.
“Calm down there Gingy, or else we’ll have to loosen your jaw for you.” says the big male in front of you.
“Let me go and give me back my daughter or I swear I’m gonna-” you threaten
“You’re gonna what groundwalker?” taunts the Female in front of you.
That nickname in particular holds bad memories for you since you can’t fly.
“Yeah Flyboy, you’re in no position to be demanding anything!” says the larger-than-the-rest male, “We decide if you get your portable love supply back or not."
*SNAP*
“What the buck did you just say!” you roar in anger with glowing orange eyes as the two changelings tighten their grip on your limbs.* “GIVE ME MY DAUGHTER BACK OR I WILL BURN EVERY LAST ON-*crack*” you shout before the bigger one punches you in the face.
“Hey he did warn you,” say the two changelings holding your arms at the same time as they snicker cruelly.
You spit out some blood, before glaring at him with orange eyes.
“Shut your mouth you little maggot, you obey us now. So you best learn the pecking ord-”
“WHAT THE BUCK ARE YOU DOING?!” shouts a female voice.
All of you look over to see the Pink Maned changeling from Fillydelphia, and she looks angry... and scared?
“We got him Sin, now we can-” replies the big one before she interrupts
“I ordered you all to lure him here, not jump him!”
“But he was being dific-”
“LET HIM GO YOU BUCKING IDIOT!” she shouts.
“But we-”
“DO YOU WANT TO DIE?!”
“Oh please, this is the clumsy unlucky worthless maggot runt of the hive, what is he gonna *CRACK* do?” The big one finishes.
“This."
The large changeling turns in confusion only to be greeted with a flame-covered hoof smashing into his face (while they were distracted, you violently slammed together the heads of the two changelings holding your arms).
"FALCON PUNCH!” you cry as your hoof briefly caves in his face and sends him violently smashing into a wall at high speed, leaving a dent. You then turn your glowing eyes to the Blonde maned one and ready a "Psycho Crusher", but the Pink Maned one steps in front of her.
“That's enough! I told you he was stronger now,” she authoritatively says to the others.
“Where is she?” you growl.
“She is safe 9001, do not fret, there is no further need for your power.” she says trying to calm you down. Then that conniving smile returns to her face and her voice then takes on a softer tone as she starts praising you...
"9001," the pink-maned changeling greets. "How are you doing on this lovely day?"
"I don't answer to that name," you growl. "Now, listen to me and listen well, because you only get one chance. Give me back my daughter and I won't squish you beneath my hooves like a cockroach."
"Well, 9001, you sure seem to have grown," the changeling sweetly crows. "I remember when you were such a little thing, the worst in class, the laughing stock of everyone. I suppose you took up pranks to turn the tables, make us the laughed-at instead. But now... the changeling before me is so different." She says as she slinks closer to inspect you.
"A skilled fighter, with powers beyond any drone in recorded history. No longer the fragile joke you were." She continues as she circles you, "Which I suppose brings me to my point. My little squad and I would like you to-"
Is she seriously trying to sweet talk me after all that? you wonder.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU BUCKING IDIOT?!!! Selena screams in your head, Just squash these imbeciles and retrieve our child!!!
"Oh, yeah." you say before pouncing forward and grabbing the female changeling by the throat. The two changeling twins (who have just recovered from that head-slam) rush at you, but you quickly slam the pink maned changeling into the ground by her throat as you whip out the Power Glove with your free arm and yell,
"Would you kindly BUZZ OFF!!"
As you direct the Insect Swarm plasmid at the charging bugs, but instead of a swarm of hornets being unleashed on the bugs, instead they suddenly hesitate and you can feel their minds, not under full control but definitely influenced.
Huh, Insect Plasmid can control changelings. Neat. you mentally comment before you turn back to the pink-maned one beneath your hooves and growl,
"Give me my daughter or I swear I am going to make these cockroaches tear each others limbs off."
Surprisingly, the changeling gives a hearty laugh even while under your hoof, "You really have changed, 9001," she coos. "But if you have control over the others, why don't you make them get your daughter?"
"Uh..." you say before thinking,
Why don't I just get the others to get Nightshade?
I DON'T KNOW OR CARE YOU DUMBFLANK! JUST GET OUR DAUGHTER BACK!!!
"I'll assume from your silence that you can't quite give me a reason," the changeling coos before gesturing to the blonde-maned changeling which causes her to rush off...
A few moments later, the Blonde one returns with a scowl as she carries Nightshade.
“Set her down, gently, and back the buck up...” you growl at her as you point the Power Glove at her and ready the "Electro Bolt" plasmid, sparks flying off the glove's fingers.
She looks at you before turning her head to the Pink Maned one still pinned to the ground with your other hoof on her throat.
“Do it,” she commands.
The changeling sets Nightshade’s sleeping body down gently and backs away. You then rush forward and cradle her in your arms before letting out a sigh of relief at her seeming alright. You then notice the big male start to stir and he doesn't look happy, so you protectively hold Nightshade close with one arm as you read your Power Glove in the other while backing up a bit. Suddenly the Pink one orders,
“Stand down you moron, you've already made enough of a mess today...”
“But Lieutenant Sin, he-” starts the big one before the female changeling interrupts.
“That’s an order Corporal Mongo!”
“Yes ma’am” he says as he reluctantly backs down. The pink-maned female changeling (who is apparently named "Sin") then starts verbally tearing into them,
"I have told you all repeatedly of his power and still you idiots insist on underestimating him! You two idiots should especially haven known better (*points/glares at the twins*) seeing how the 3 of us saw what he can do firsthoof at Fillydelphia! You’re all lucky you’re not all green smears on the ground!”
She then turns to you and apologizes,
“Forgive my comrades, circumstances have made them overzealous.”
“Stupid jerks might be a better word for it,” you growl.
“Whatever you term it is besides the point. We wish to speak with you.”
“Oh, so you just wanted a chat? Oh how stupid of me, guess I didn't think of that when you were, I don't know... FOALNAPPING MY DAUGHTER!!!”
The others scowl at you as Sin winces, but she continues,
“Be that as it may, you are here now, and we have much to discuss. You are going to help us 9001.”
“Oh really...” your eyes glow orange as you continue, “and what makes you think I’m going to help the bugs who just foalnapped my Daughter and jumped me?”
She backs up when she sees your eyes,
“Calm yourself, we only did that so that we could get you out here, and these four misinterpreted my orders.”
You glare at her as you think in a disbelieving tone,
Misinterpret my flank, you told them to jump me on purpose. Whatever... might as well try to find out more about their plans before I tear off their limbs and drag them back to Ponyville...
With that thought your glare intensifies as you ask,
"What, you couldn't have visited me when I was alone like I told you to?” you snark.
“You have never been alone, you were always surrounded by either one of the Elements of Harmony, that Royal Guard with a pathetic concept of 'infiltration', a mare lusting after you-"
"Which makes for a tasty snack." the blonde-maned one quips before being silenced by an aside glare from Sin before continuing,
"Or this filly, and we cannot risk being seen period. Not to mention you were always oblivious to most things even when they were right in front of your fangs the before-mentioned lustful mares for example...”
“Plus we're losing patience.” Mongo says.
“Whatever, come on Nightshade, wake up, it’s time to go.” you say, but Nightshade continues to sleep.
“Okay, Wakey wakey... Nightshade?”
She continues to sleep even as you gently shake her.
“Oh great, this again,” you mutter “I thought you had grown out of your power sleeps.”
“She is currently sedated,” says one of the twins causing you and Selena to shout,
“WHAT?!”
“Sedated,” the other twin says.
“Tranquilized,” the other continues.
“Drugged,”
“Pacified,”
“Taking it easy,”
“Chasing the Purple Dragon,” they both say at the end. Your eye twitches in annoyance at their twin speak as you shout,
“I KNOW WHAT THE BUCK IT MEANS! WHY THE BUCK IS SHE DRUGGED?!”
“Do not fear, it was only a precaution. The filly has the strength to stun a Hydra or knock down a Cerberus, and we needed her to get you out here,” Sin says.
I am going to check on her, Selena says, When I get back, I will stamp out their hearts with my heels and before making a quagmire of their mingled brains!
With that, she presumably enters Nightshade’s dreamscape.
“No harm has come to her, you may take her home once we're done talking,” says Sin.
“So what 'oh so important thing' do I need to help you with?” you snark.
Sin sighs in annoyance before she steps up to you and says....
"...And?" you ask as you gently put your slumbering daughter back into The Inventory.
"We are just five changelings," Sin explains, gesturing to herself and the four others, "And we've lost the hive. It's so far from us now that we can't even track it. All we can do is survive and hope that we'll find them soon, but we're behind enemy lines and five changelings can only do so much against the might of the Equestrian Empire. We need someling with power to help us return to the hive. Someling like you!" She finishes, pointing at you.
"What? Why the buck would I help you?" you ask, "Aside from the fact that you FOALNAPPED MY DAUGHTER, I have no obligation to you. I didn't know you existed until Fillydelphia. Why would I, a changeling with a stable life and family, uproot myself to go help five strangers I've never met before then? And why would I ever want to go back to that slimy hole you all call a hive it's bad enough that I'm already doing that for a time-traveling alien?" you mutter the last part
You see several changelings scowl at you after your description of the hive, but Sin shows no visible reaction. "9001. Think! Think of the possibilities! We'd arrive triumphantly at the hive, everyling wondering where we'd been. But then they'd cheer as you'd reveal your true strength and the hive's imagination would bloom at the prospect of the superweapon they'd just gained. We'd be heroes, all of us, and you could be the key to finally conquering those accursed ponies!"
"Um, yeah, no," You counter, "Look, you can go be as megalomaniacal as you want, but I think I like it better when every pony in Equestria isn't breathing down my neck with a spear."
"As if they aren't doing that already," SIn growls, "But think of the reactions! You could be summoned by the Queen herself, and she'd name you as a General, maybe even a Marshal and-"
"No!" you cry, "I'm not going back there just to blindly serve some arrogant, cruel, tyrant who thinks herself a queen."
"What did you say about Chrysalis?" Mongo asks threateningly through clenched teeth.
"I said that she'd an idiot!" you explode, "She tried to imitate a bucking alicorn and all it did was cause the problems you five have now! Buck that 'queen'! You know what, down with Chrysalis! Down with the Hive Queen!"
"How dare you!" the blonde changeling cries, "Just because you didn't have the best experience, you feel the need to condemn everything that our kind has worked for! Most of us miss the hive! Some of us just can't even fathom what we could do without it!"
"Well I can," you spit, "I'm completely satisfied with the life I have, and if you can't be than that's your problem, not mine!"
Sin sighs as she says,
"Listen, we've all remained in hiding doing whatever it took to survive while also meeting the minimum guidelines for 'Contingency Plan; GORILLA'. You are going to help u-"
"Continental villa?" you ask/interrupt her in confusion.
Sin sighs at your confusion as she says
"I forgot, you dodged that class. Contingency Plan: GORILLA calls for all changelings trapped behind enemy lines and separated from the Hive to stay hidden and return to the Hive as soon as possible, but also to strike at the enemy whenever an opportunity arises whether it be using our disguise spells to frame ponies or even deliberate acts of sabotage."
"Yeah, like I broke up a few families with my seductive disguises. One of whom was a prestigious noble family that funds most of Equestria's airships." Vicky says.
"Well I took down the water supply of Hollow Shades for six days." Mongo brags, "Those softies were whining about dry throats and headaches for almost a week!"
"Well we caused a Hoofball riot in Trottingham." Tannen points out.
"I thought those ponies were already rioting anyway and we were just going to take cre-" Biff says before Tannen elbows him.
You glare at them in shock as you indignantly say,
"You bucking lunatics did what!? If I was even thinking of helping you before, which I wasn't, I"m defiantly not helping now!
As the other changelings look like there about to charge at you in rage, Sin holds her hoof up as she shouts,
"HALT!"
The other changelings look at her in confusion, but you just continue to glare at her as you think,
What are you up to?
Sin sighs again as she says,
"Fine, if you will not help us find the Hive, then you will help us find someling who can. We've been looking for him for awhile, but we've had no luck finding him. But with you with us we might have a chance..."
Your glare lightens slightly as you ask in confusion,
"And how am I supposed to find this bug if you guys couldn't?"
Sin sighs, again, as she says...
BrownDog77 comment
"Because you are the grandson of Specialist 117,” she says, shocking you.
“Grandbuggy? What does...”
“As one of the Supreme Atlas Specialists (*), he has classified knowledge of safe-houses and contingency plans that the rank-and-file have no knowledge of. Fall-back spots and the locations of secret arsenal. He knows this info, and we have to find him.”
“He was banished, remember? Your precious Queen sent him away and left me alone! You know, because you all thought he was a ‘horny old bug of a fool?’”
“A horny fool he may be, but he has vital information and he wasn't blasted during the invasion. He is still out there, which means he’s the only chance we have of finding the others who are in hiding or even fighting back against the ponies in effective gorilla-style warfare.”
“I... don’t know where he is...” you lament/lie as you suppress a flashback.
“But you know him better than anyling else, surely there must be spots that you two loved. Places from your past he might be? Or may have left clues?” she says in that cooing voice again.
You think back on all the good times you had with Grandbuggy. There ere so many places. You never even thought of visiting those spots because of the hurt it would cause you. But what if he left clues for you? What if he’s waiting right now for you to visit these nostalgic parts?
“I…he…”
“Please,” Sin says as she walks towards you, “Please... this is our only hope of returning home...”
You look into her eyes as you think,
She's actually asking, not demanding this time. She seems sincere...
Then you start to remember all the times you were utterly alone and picked on in the hive because Grandbuggy was banished. because the hive sent your family away...
“No.” you say bluntly.
“Wh-what? Why Not?” she says in shock.
“Because I don’t feel like it right now.”
She looks speechless as you continue,
“If I find Grandbuggy, it will be because I wish to reunite with him, not to find the Hive... besides, my job here isn't done yet...” you say thinking about your debt to The Doctor.
“But we need the Hive! What if they are all injured, or imprisoned. Dying from lack of love?”
“That’s not my problem. The Hive was never my home.”
“And amongst these ponies is? These beings who have done nothing but hate and fear you?”
“Yeah, it says something when I’d rather live with them than my own kind doesn’t it,” you punctuate with a glare.
“But...”
“I said No. But hey, if I ever do find something, maybe, just maybe I’ll let you guys know.”
“Really?” she asks.
“Yeah, maybe in a few years, maybe never.” you say vindictively.
The others scowl and growl, and she looks upset as well.
“But I might change my mind if you answer me one thing.” you say.
“What is it?” she asks with a bit of hope.
“How did you know who I was?” you ask.
“I have been watching you ever since your failed reign as the King of the Diamond Dogs,” she says.
“You have?” you ask flabbergasted.
“Yes, I was blasted into the Everfree as well. The nearest outpost we were instructed to go to was abandoned, so I began searching for other stragglers, and I only found you; Donning a cloak and trying to lead those mongrels against Celestia and the Elements head-on.”
That seems like a lifetime ago. you think to yourself.
With your life, I it’s not surprising... why aren't these insects squished yet? says the returned Selena.
Hang on, getting plot details. you mentally reply as Sin continues,
“Since that time, I have kept tabs on you, from Appleloosa, to Canterlot, and Fillydelphia which is where I found privates Biff and Tannen here.” she says pointing to the twins.
You look at the, now named, brothers as Sin continues,
“They had been there since the invasion, and I only ran into them by chance when looking for you,” she says, “Until then, I had begun to think you and I were the only ones left... again.”
"Wait, again?" you ask.
"Because I followed you to Appleloosa, I missed the Queen's return assault on Ponyville... and the Hive was banished once more to Faust knows where..."
"Really? There was another invasion? How the hay didn't I hear about that?"
"Because Ponies seem to have short-term memory problems. You can understand my frustration after I found out," she answers
“Uh-huh..." you say in agreement "so why did you help me at the riots?”
“To protect our food,” chips in Biff.
“Huh?”
“Dead ponies means no love,” continues Tannen.
“No love, equals dead Changelings, I’m sure you can figure out the rest,” says Sin.
“How very noble of you,” you say sarcastically.
“There is no nobility in survival. After the riots, we laid even lower and in making our way out of the city, we found Corporal Mongo and Private Vicky. We are lucky to even have this many in our group after that incident with the increased crackdown on the Horde and changelings alike.” she comments.
“So you've known since way back when who and what I was? If you've knew who I was, why haven’t you ever contacted me until now?”
“Because you are always at the center of attention wherever you go and whenever you put that hood on there has never been a chance to speak, and recently it has been hard to even find who your alias was in town.”
“Huh?”
“Something about your Tennant alias made me doubt it was you... I can’t explain it,” she says.
Oh yeah, my perception filter. you think.
“So we caused some 'accidents' around your Tennant persona and the town in general, hoping that my hunch was right and to inflict some sabotage on the Element's home turf in the meantime."
"Catching two ponies with one slimeball." Mongo says.
"But every time we did, that rainbow-maned butch or that other Vigilante would get in the way.” says Vicky.
“Then how...” you question before being interrupted.
“When I saw 'Baker Sylvester Tennant' making the 'Naco', that is how I truly knew,” says Sin.
“It did look...” says Biff
“Pretty good.” Tannen finishes.
“I’d take a bite,” says Mongo.
“Me too,” says Vicky.
“You used to make them all the time whenever you were anywhere near a taco location, Private 9001.”
“Stop calling me that! I have a name you know!” you growl.
“Fine, Private %$#@^&” she says your real name causing your eyes to widen,
“Tha-that’s not my name anymore. It’s Bugze now... just Bugze."
“Fine, whatever! Bugze! Will you help us now?” she says exasperated.
“OK, just who are you?! How do you know so much about me?” you demand.
A strange look comes across her face, “You really don’t remember who I am? Do you?” she asks with... fear in her voice?
“No... there’s kind of this haze in my mind when it comes to my memories before the Canterlot Invasion being blasted point blank from your queen and being revived bucks with a bug's memories...” you explain as you mutter the last part, “I don’t think I know a Sin, but there is something familiar about you...”
She sighs, “There’s another reason I never contacted you until now... I feared the power you gained... that you would use it on us...”
“Why would you...”
“We were educated together, and we were assigned to the same regiment for years. I am Drone Lieutenant 9077, Pony Alias: Cinnamon "Sin" Sugar.”
Once she says that name, your head hurts a bit as some of the fog in your mind is cut. You remember seeing her around. She was always in the crowd that made fun of you, one of the ring leaders that made your life hell. One of the ones from the Dance...
*SNAP*
“YOU... Would you kindly FREEZE!” You use your "Winter Blast" on Sin, turning her into a bug-sicle, but before you can do anything elsee, you feel a muscly mass of changeling slam hard into you and send you flying back into the night-ness of the forest through a couple of trees. Mongo smiles cruelly at his hoofywork as he walks over to the frozen Sin and begins to break the ice while saying,
"Huh, I knew that runt was still nothing but a weak larva. I told you that you were worried for no re-*slap*"
Mongo is stopped mid sentence when he gets slapped by Sin! The other changelings gasp in shock as Mongo holds his cheek in pain as he asks,
"Lieutenant, what the buck?!"
Sin just glares at him as she shouts,
"ARE YOU A BUCKING IDIOT, CORPORAL?! YOU JUST SEALED ALL OUR FATES!"
Mongo looks at her in confusion as he asks,
"Right, what's that sweets-munching klutz gonna d-ack!"
Mongo is interrupted as a midnight-colored misty/smoky fox tail whips out of the darkness of the forest, wraps around his neck, and drags him out of the cave.
Sin and the changelings gasp in shock as they run out of the cave and out into a open field. What they see terrifies them as they see the midnight fox tail dangling the large Mongo into the air by his neck. Sin, knowing what the tail means, begins to back away in fear while the other changelings can only gape in shock at what they're seeing.
"This..."
You growl demonically as the burning tree illuminates your form. The changelings eyes widen as they now see you in covered in the Nightmare Cloak, orange glowing eyes blazing with rage. They also realize that the midnight colored fox tail holding their comrade in the air is also from you as you bring him down to face you as you say...
"Is what I'm going to do."
With that you violently smash his face into the cave wall hard enough to leave cracks in the rock before you roar,
"I remember you now... I REMEMBER ALL OF YOU NOW!"
As you feel a mental flash of pain as memories flood your mind... as you remember each changeling before you... and the memories aren't pleasant...
It's your first week in the Changeling army, and you're already the laughing stock of the squad. You suck at fighting, you can't fly, your disguise spell stinks, you're a klutz, and your terrible luck is just the rotten cherry on the awful sundae. You're just sitting in your barrack feeling useless. Suddenly, there's a knock on your door so you quickly open it to see twin changelings standing at your door- Biff and Tannen. Their expressions are grim.
"What's the matter?" you ask.
"We've got trouble," Biff replies. "The magic reactor at the center of the hive has been compromised."
"You're the only one who can crawl through the ventilation ducts to shut it down!" Tannen explains, pointing to a vent down the hall.
You put on a stoic expression and march over to the vent, but mentally you're squeeing,
Finally! A chance for me to be the hero instead of a screw-up! All those hours of ducking school and training to watch action flicks are finally gonna pay off!
You duck inside the vent and manage to wriggle about half your body in before-
"Uh, guys?" you say. "I think I'm stuck!" Your only response is a chorus of cruel laughter as you struggle futilely to escape.
FLASHBACK OVER
You point a hoof accusingly at Biff and Tannen.
"You guys left me in that vent all day! You charged everyling who came by two bits apiece so they could give me a swift kick in the rear! I couldn't sit down for half-a-week!"
"Private, that was when we were hatchings!" Biff pleads.
"We-we didn't mean it, it was just us being immature!" Tannen begs.
"Although it was pretty hilario-" Biff says before his brother slaps him on the back of the head.
"Would you kindly STOP MAKING EXCUSES!" You cry as you direct the "Insect Swarm" Plasmid on them. With a cruel smirk, you administer a telepathic wave of pain. causing the two changelings to keel to the ground holding their heads in agony. Your smile grows as you lash out your nightmare to grab Tannen before using him to violently pound on Biff, increasing intensity with each slam. Eventually, the frenzy ends when you lash out a second nightmare tail, grab Biff, and whip the twins around you repeatedly at high speed before sending them violently smashing into a sturdy tree. Before they can even recover, you call out,
"PSYCHO CRUSHER!" And spin-smash the twins through several trees. You then pick up their battered forms and chuck them back near the cave entrance. As you turn your glare towards the shaking Vicky, you don't notice Sin back away even more in fear as she whispers,
"Tw...two tails! Oh no this is not good. One more and he'll..."
You don't hear her panicked whispering as you shout at Vicky,
"And you!"
FLASHBACK PART 2
Vicky, the blond changeling before you, smiles shyly at you. These past few days, she's been the only changeling to act kindly towards you and, needless to say, you've developed crush. Now it's just the two of you alone in your barracks, smiling warmly at each other...
"Hey," Vicky coos, "I thought I heard something outside. Would you kindly go check on it?"
"Sure," you reply, too lovesick to care. You amble out the door and glance around to see... nothing except rain clouds starting to gather. You shrug and turn around to see the door slam in your face.
FLASHBACK OVER
"By the time I got the others to pry open the door (and the less said about how you begged someling to help you, the better) to get out of the storm, you'd filled all my pillows with rotten whipped cream, swapped all my violent videogames with peaceful CDs, and swapped all my peaceful CDs with violent videogames! And the worse part was I liked you! I thought you were my only friend! Maybe even more!!!" you yell.
"It was a joke!" she cries back. "I thought it would be funny. I didn't think you'd be so-"
Vicky stops mid sentence as your body begins to shake. She begins to back away in fear, as does Sin as you begin to mutter,
"Just a joke... Just, a joke? Bwa... bwah... BWAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHA!"
Your head suddenly whips back as you begin to laugh insanely with a look of pure insanity in your eyes as your Nightmare Cloak begins to become more unstable,
As your laughter dies down, you look back at Vicky insanely as you yell in the Royal Canterlot Voice,
"YOUR RIGHT, THAT WAS A AWESOME JOKE! SURE YOU BROKE MY ALREADY-DAMAGED HEART, BUT HA-HA IT WAS FUNNY!"
Vicky can only wince, frozen in utter terror as you continue,
"NOW LET ME TELL YOU THE PUNCHLINE OF MINE!"
With that you...
"Shoryuken!" you cry as you catch the changeling in the chin with a vicious uppercut. She flies up and knocks her head against a high branch, before landing hard back on the ground.
Rush forward in a blink of an eye and and send a Shoryuken smashing into her chest (right where her heart should be... if she had one) with enough force to send her streaking into the air, but you quickly lash out your Nightmare Tails, grab her by her blonde-mane, and violently pull her down, the momentum and your tails causing a violent ricochet effect that smashes her into the ground. You then pull her back up by her blonde mane causing her to whimper in pain before you call out,
"FALCON B^%$#-PUNCH!" as your flame-covered hoof smashes into her treacherous face at a slightly downward angle, sending her skidding and rolling along the ground.
As some of your sanity returns, you look over to Mongo who doesn't seem that inured as he pries himself off the cave wall. You can't help but chuckle insanely, before you roar,
"And ESPECIALLY you!"
ITALICIZED TEXT, WE ALL KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS...
It's now been about a month since you joined the army, and you're getting better! You can do five push-ups now! FIVE! So when Screech (probably the worst changeling besides you) asks if you'd like to spar, you eagerly agree. Maybe defeating Screech can improve your reputation!
"OK," Screech replies to your agreement, "Get him, Mongo!"
You turn to see Mongo, the enormous changeling, barreling towards you. After that... pain.
DITTO...
"I woke up in the infirmary. Three Days later!" You growl.
"I was trying to toughen you up you ungrateful wimp! I wasn't even trying to hurt you. Err, too much."
"And that was just ONE of the many beatings you gave me yo-" you continue before Mongo interrupts,
"Oh shut up! Words are wasted on the weak!" he declares as he charges at you.
"Agreed, so would you kindly EAT ICE!"
With that, you launch a dark-blue ice crystal that Mongo easily obliterates with a headbutt, but unfortunately for him that was just a distraction as through the shards you yell, "PSYCHO CRUSHER" and spin-smash into him into the cracked cave wall (again) before following it up with "No Shadow Kick!" as you hit him in the face with a flurry of midair kicks and finally as soon as you land, you finish the combo with "FALCON PUNCH!" as your flame-encased hoof smashes into his face with enough force to smash the humongous changeling through the weakened cave wall.
As the Corporal lays there with bees fluttering around his head, you walk right up to him as you insanely say,
With that you grab his pelvic region with the Power Glove in a crushing vise-grip that causes him to give out a weak cry of pain as you say,
"Now would you kindly LIGHT UP!"
With that, nightmarish purple and blue lightning shoots out of the Power Glove and electrocutes him point-blank in the nards sending him into a screaming and twitching frenzy of agony. You laugh in sadistic delight at Mongo's pain, but you soon hear a twig snap and a whimper from behind you. You let go of Mongo (who's still twitching) and turn around to see the quivering form of Sin trying to make a stealthy get-away. When she notices that your eyes are focused on her, she attempts to fly away in fear, but you chuckle darkly at this as you say,
"Would you kindly OH NO YOU DON'T PINK HAIR!"
With that you aim your Power Gloved hoof at her and she suddenly just stops in midair as she starts grabbing at her neck as she begins to gasp for air,
"What... ack... is happening... ack! It feels like... gag... I'm being... ack... choked!"
You can't help but chuckle at this as you lift her over to you and quote,
When you bring Sin before you, you stare at her choking face, your rage begins to bubble as the memories flow back and you say,
"You helped them scar me for life!" you scream, "You're the reason that Hearts and Hooves Day throws me into an unrelenting rage! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO CAME UP WITH THE WHOLE BUCKING IDEA!"
As you roar, your force choke increases in intensity alongside your rage causing her to turn a shade of blue under her black changeling shell.
"I was small!" She pleads as she struggles in your grip, "Just a small and immature hatchling! I didn't know what effect my bullying would have. None of us did! We never tried to hurt you permanently. We were just immature kids having our fun."
You shoot her a furious glare as your grip tightens in your rage. You continue to tighten your grip till you hear Selena say
That is what happens when you mess with my daughter! Now Bugze why don't yo-Bugze?
What? you mentally snap, Can't you see I'm in the middle of something here?
Obviously, but what you are doing.. this isn't like you. Selena says.
What do you mean? These jerks, especially this jerk, made my early life a living Tartarus. I don't owe them anything. In fact, they're lucky I haven't given them even more of a pounding then I already have!
Don't get me wrong, they deserve this. But if you don't stop now she's going to-
Didn't you hear me?! I owe them nothing! I'm just a normal changeling trying to live a normal life.
But you weren't always. I remember a time when you were more than a bystander. When you aimed to be a savior, a hope for those who had none. A hero. Even ignoring all the times I tried to make you rip that accursed false goddess and her Element bearing pawns to shreds! Also, I'd advise you loosen your grip, least you want her to die of lack of oxygen.
Her comment makes you freeze in contemplation, and your eyes widen in horror as you realize that your slowly choking Sin to death. You quickly stop your force grip, which drops Sin gasping for breath in between her changeling comrades. As Sin looks at you in shock as she regains her breath she asks
"W...why did you stop? You could have killed me then, but you stopped. Why?"
You rub your hoof behind your head awkwardly as you say
"Look, I think maybe I was a bit too harsh. Okay, I was too harsh, I was about to force choke you for Luna's sake! I'm...sorry about that, but I'm still not going to help you back to the hive, that's just never going to happen. But... maybe I'll put in a good word for you back in Ponyville and let them deal with you."
Now that's the idiot I know.
As you extend your hoof to her, she just stares at it in shock as if it was some foreign object from space. Suddenly she does something surprising; She smiles as she accepts your hoof before saying,
Sin says "Bugze, You're right. We've gone two years without the hive why can't we go more years without it."
"900-I mean Bugze, You're right. We've... we've gone two years without the hive. Wh... why can't we go a few more years without it?"
You smile as she says this, and are about to say something when you are suddenly tackled! You grunt in pain before you "Shoryuken!" Mongo off of you. Sin looks at him in shock as she asks,
"What are you doing Corporal! We could have left peacefully!"
Mongo just glares at you as he says,
"Looks like those newspapers Vicky read were right, you can control minds!"
You stare at him for a few seconds before you facehoof and yell,
"For the love of Luna, I DO NOT HAVE MIND CONTROL POWERS!"
"Yeah, there's no way you can have mind control powers. You would have to have a mind in the first place to even have them!"
You growl at this as Vicky says,
"Yeah, he's got no brains. This idiot did all of this for some food factory!"
You growl even more as you glare at Vicky in hatred as you say,
"The buck did you say!?"
The twins nod there heads as they say one after another,
"He called her your love dispenser..."
"Your reverse love sponge..."
"The fridge, or kitche-"
You growl as you yell,
"SHUT UP! SHE'S MY DAUGHTER YOU BUCKING IDIOTS! STOP CALLING HER MY FOOD TAKE OR I'M GONNA-"
"If she's your daughter, then she's got to have your tiny brain." Biff taunts
"Yeah, all we'd need to do is wear an orange wig and all her love is ours to drain" Tannen adds.
You being to shake in anger as Mongo taunts,
"You gonna cry to your mommy and daddy, or wait. You can't because they left you when they realized how much of a failure you are!"
*crack SNAP*
Suddenly, Nightmare cloak particles begin to fly off of you look down at the ground and you begin mutter,
"Don't...don't you ever...
Mongo snickers as he says,
"What? I'm only speaking the truth. Your parent vanished when you were a grub! They probably knew you were a failure before you even hatched!"
As you begin to shake in uncontrollable rage at what these maggots are saying, Sin seems the realize how dumb of a idea mocking the crazy super powerful monster that just beat them down into a pulp as she gets a fearful look as she says,
"GUYS! SHUT UP NOW OR-"
She's interrupted as Mongon says
"Oh, is the little flightless bug getting mad? Maybe your parents made you flightless on purposes to laugh at ya!"
The other changelings begin to laugh at this, which cause your eyes to glow in a blazing orange as the Nightmare cloak rapidly forms around you completely with two fox tails as you roar with the RCV,
"DON'T YOU EVER TALK ABOUT MY PARENTS LIKE THAT EVER AGAIN!"
With a mighty sweep of your nightmare tails, you knock the changelings and send them all flying into the cave and smashing into the various rocks. You glare at them and see that they're still dazed from your attack. You snort in anger as you turn around to leave, but as you do you hear Sin call out...
“I don’t have to do squat!” you yell as you turn around.
“PLEASE!” she begs, “We NEED your help...” she cries no longer being demanding.
“You should have thought about that before you drugged and kidnapped my daughter.” You then start to turn around, but then you turn back to them and say,
“And for one last tip: Don’t reveal to the guy with immense powers that you want help from that you were one of the jerks that used to make his life a living Tartarus!”
“I’M SORRY!!!” she shouts causing you to pause, “I’m sorry.... for all the stuff the others and I did. I’m sorry I didn't apologize sooner... I’m sorry about what happened at the dance... please... please help us.”
You glare at her as you see she looks desperate and actually sorry. Still, your heart is now absolutely hardened towards your bullies,
“Apology not accepted, It’s too late... FIFTEEN YEARS too late.",” you say vindictively causing her to look crestfallen, “Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta get going now as I got work in the morning. maybe you all should get an honest job instead of skulking about like cockroaches. And if you try anything again to me, my daughter, or any of the ponies in Ponyville, *snap* I won't be so nice next time.”
You notice a tear slip out of her eye as she puts her head down in defeat which brings you both vindictive satisfaction... and regret?
“And here’s some food for thought, maybe you all should really question why you need the Hive. Because it doesn't look like it needs you!” With that you turn around to leave, when you hear Vicky shout...
You turn around and see a small group of teenage Dragons coming across the beaten forms of the Changelings.
"Well, well, well... What do we have here?"
"I don't remember Bug tasting all that good, dude." says the purple dragon.
"Who cares, let's play Smash the Bug!" says the Red one before proceeding to punt Sin across the cave. She goes flying till she comes to a sliding halt at your hooves. She looks up at you with desperation and tears in her eyes as she cries,
"Please... Help Us!"
You just look down at her beaten form before you turn around and walk away, leaving them to their fate. Suddenly Sin grabs on to you and pleads,
"Please Bugze! I'm begging you. Save us! You would be killing us if you left now!"
Your heart still hardened by rage and hate, you coldly and darkly say,
As you walk out the entrance to the cave, you turn around to get one last look at the changelings as the dragons get closer. You see Vicky is desperately trying to get up as one of the dragons advances on her, Mongo is up and fighting a dragon already, the twins are flying near the ceiling of the cave in an attempt to create distance, and Sin appears to be fumbling with some items. You just stare at them for a few more seconds, before you give a heavy sigh, turn around, and walk away....
After a couple of steps, you hear Selena say in concern,
Bugze... Those Slimy pests deserved the beating they received, but there's only a 50/50 chance that they'll live.
Don't care, Not my problem. you say bluntly.
They will either die, or they can escape and come after us again. she counters.
So what, I'll just beat them into the ground again like I did this time. Besides, it's what they get for trying to hurt Nightshade.
While I do agree, and while I know you can, how do they say it, "throttle" them again, they would just come back. What then? she says.
You stop walking at Selena's question to think for a moment, before you think
Then I"ll drag them to Sunbutt herself and leave them to rot in her dungeon. No second chances. I'm that sort of a bug now. Besides like you said, their fates are in the hooves of Lady Luck now. Anyway, how's Nightshade? you ask in an attempt to change the subject.
She dreams comfortably. Something involving Ducks Swimming in the Water, but she is unharmed. Selena answers.
“Good... good- whoa!”
Suddenly a big black vine sprouts out of the ground and sprays gas in your face, on reflex you go,
"Would you kindly burn!"
And incinerate the offending vine, but you're beginning to feel woozy...
"Selena... a bit of help?" you ask.
This drug is powerful. I can't-
And that's all you hear from her as you pass out on the forest floor with your final thought being...
Why do I keep...getting...druged...
WHEN YOU WAKE UP
When you come to, you notice that it's now morning. You were knocked out all night!
"Luna... What the buck happened last night?"
With that, you yawn and stretch as you begin to recall yesterday's events. As you begin to stretch you begin to recall the events that led to this,
"Let's see... I went out to the comic store to buy a new issue of The Dark Offender only to unintentionally give Sparkle Butt the idea of being a vigilante. Next I disbanded the Horde for their own safety, then I got dragged to the spa, got into a all-out melee (again), got attacked by a stallion on steroids, and finally I met the tormentors of my larvaehood again, beat them like eggs, and left them with a fifty-fifty percent of surviving a couple of teenage dragons. Knowing my luck they probably escaped and are plotting their revenge on me, which I guess is good in the sense that their not dead..."
As the events of the past couple of days finally catch up to you, you can't help but facehoof as you mutter into your hoof,
"Ugh...why can't you give me a day off Lady Luck, I'll stop mocking you if ya do...for that day at least."
You look back over to the direction of the cave you left your old bullies at, and you can't help but think guilty
I hope they made it out. I may hate them with a burning passion and they may be the biggest jerks in the whole universe (next to Lady Luck at least), but that doesn't mean they deserve to die. Sigh, oh well. Like I said their fates up to Lady Luck's mood, which must be high considering how much torture I've been through the last couple of days
With another sigh you say out loud
"Also, gotta remember to buy some of those anger management books back at town, Luna knows after today I'm gonna need to learn to keep my anger down. Cause for some strange reason I feel like if this was another universe I would have sealed off that cave and left them to their doom..."
You burst out laughing at this as you say
"Bwahahahahaha! Like that'll ever happen!"
As you calm down from your laughter, you begin to walk back towards where you think Ponyville is, when you realize something...
You then realize you are totally lost and have no idea which direction the town is in. You wander around for a few hours before you suddenly spot a Purple Dragon in the distance with a hobo stick. “Wait, is that Spike? What’s he doing out here on his own?” What Do?
You're deep in this forest... again. You can't help but throw your hooves in the air and yell at the top of your lungs,
"BUCK THIS MOTEHRBUCKING FOREST! I WISH IT WILL BURN IN THE PITS OF TARTURUS!"
As you breath in deeply, you start to calm down as you sigh,
"Oh well... time to go in a random direction to see if I can find my way back. Eenie, meenie, miney, you."
With that you go in the direction you pointed at and set off to hopefully find Ponyville...
6 HOURS LATER
You've been walking through this Luna forsaken forest for the past 6 hours, and you've yet to find a way out. Your pretty sure Lady Luck is covering every exit outta here. As you have been walking through the Everfree, you notice some items are missing from your Potion Sash. You Decided that it was probably nothing. Anyway, you sigh for the billionth time, you see something coming your way. Still tired out from the trekking, the slight guilt, and lots of shouting about how stupid this forest is you hide from whatever's coming since you don't think you can (or even want to) fight it in your current state. When the beast get's closer, you recognize what it is as you whisper,
“Wait, is that Spike? What the hay is he doing out here on his own with a hobo stick?”
What do you do?
Episode 69: Following The Purple Dragon (Dragon Quest Arc Part 1)
As you watch Spike pass by your hiding place in the Everfree forest, you hear an annoying shadowy voice say,
Congratulations on taking your revenge on those stupid bugs by killing them. You're finally starting to grow some backbone... Who's going to be the next? Moonbutt? Or you could try with her beloved sister's beloved student, she could be easy if you distract her with a book before going in for the kill. Or maybe that stupid farm hick or the rainbow whorse?
You groan at your Shadow's words as you try to ignore him, but you being you can't help but snap,
"I didn't kill them, I only pounded them into the ground to teach them a lesson."
Of course not... You only let the weak fend for themselves after you weakened them even further so that those teenage dragons could squash them, maybe you don't remember after all that time in Ponyville with the little purple lizard, but dragons are carnivores.
An image of Sugar and the others being eaten by the dragons appear in your mind, but you shake your head and try to let the image go away as you say,
"Hey, we don't know if they're dead or not! There's still a 50% chance that they managed to get away... hopefully."
You hear Shadow make a 'tsk-tsk' sound before he says,
Oh Come on, is the little offender sad over the possibility that he killed again? You know they deserved it, after everything they did to you why are you not reveling in their deaths? In fact why do you insist on maintaining this fantasy of them escaping?
You can only watch Spike and try to ignore the annoying (yet frightening) voice in your head that is your Shadow, even when you know what he's saying is is true. If it was a couple of hours ago, you would have been very happy to let them die, but now you're full of regret to having those thoughts. You won't let your anger control you again like that, never again....
Oh... but where'd the fun be if you didn't get angry? Besides, those changelings laughed at you, even when they were begging for your help and even AFTER you almost squashed them within an inch of their lives. That just screams "too dumb to live". It's not like they were ponies, right? There's no harm done if they aren't ponies, am I right? And while we're aboard this train of thought, what about that Zebra in the forest and those annoying rhymes she does? After all she is also not a pony or (and this would be just grand) perhaps you only hate your 'own' kind, the changelings?
You feel as if a cold dagger was just stabbed into your chest, then stuck into your back and torn up your spine. You shake off the feeling as you say,
"I'm not species-ist towards anyling, I'm friends with Spike and Zecora after all. I don't want to hurt anyling, no matter the species! Besides those guys had that beat down coming for a LONG time."
Are you going to kill every changeling you see then? After all they ALL mocked and scorned you. The drones, the soldiers, your queen, even the bucking larvae mocked your every move! And think of the rewards for doing so; Imagine the favor you could gain with Luna and Sunbutt if you presented them with a pile of changeling heads arranged in an artsy display with Chrysalis's head on top like a cherry. In fact, how bout we find the nurseries and make us one big buggy omelette. Get them when they're young is what I always say!
You can feel the sadistic pleasure this monster is feeling as he says this, and you can't help but think he would actually go through with it.
To kill all those young lives, before they even have a chance to see the sun... you think before you suddenly get an image of your in your Nightmare Claok form smashing a bunch of changeling eggs in a frenzy. Before you can puke your stomach contents up, you hear Selena shout,
SILENCE! HE IS NOT LIKE THAT! LEAVE MY VESSEL'S HEAD AT ONCE BEFORE WE MAKE YOU!!!
You hear your Shadow "tsk" again as he says in a annoyed tone,
Oh, come on... Both of you wanted it, if you remember; you didn't try to stop him from hurting them, or insisted on returning to the cave and helping them and now they're dead thanks to you. 50% of survival or not, the guilt of them potentially dying due to you not helping will still haunt you. And let's not forget the other changelings that have been forced to obey a stupid queen and are now half dead without love most likely due to the fact that you would not help them! I know it's true, you know it's true, and even he know's it's true...
You suddenly feel like a cold ten-ton iron suit has been thrust upon you and the worst part of all was that you couldn't even say anything because your shadow was right. You didn't want to help them, but that's only because it's better for them to be behind bars than be let free to ruin everyponies lives. Besides, Sunbutt and Luna may hate you, but they wouldn't take their anger out on those changelings by leaving them to starve...
Right?
You shake your head from these thoughts as you begin to think about Nightshade. Suddenly you realize something as you give a tired sigh as you say,
"What do I do? Bucking Doctor... I'm sure he knew this was going to happen!"
You sigh again as you look over to where Spike is going. As you do you begin to follow him and as you do you can't help but think,
I don't know how, but it seems like Spike hasn't notice me following him...
You are sadly dragged back into your thoughts as Shadow your says,
Oh, yes... What did you do Bugzee, and what are you going to tell Nightshade? 'Sorry but daddy had to meet his cousins that kidnapped you because they were desperate for help to free their other cousins and after beating them he left them with a couple of teenage dragons that could have made them into changeling barbecue? Oh and even if they survived, they are angry with your daddy and also with you so they could try to kidnap you again?'
You growl and are about to bark a insult at the annoying Shadow, when you hear ringing sound in your head as you hear your Shadow sigh in annoyance as he says,
Looks like my time is up for now. See ya...
With that you can feel his presence leave your skull. With this you sigh in relief as you think,
Why must my Shadow be so persistent. They're alive... They just have to be...
Shaking off the doubt coming on before it consumes you, you continue to follow Spike. As you do you can't help but think,
I don't really have anything for the progress of the story except for Bugze need to train himself in control and fighting and a bit on acting...Make himself stronger in all meaning...
That rage I felt... it was like when... HER wagon got crushed, and at the Gala, and Fillydelphia... I- I need to learn to control it. If my anger gets too out of hoof like that again... I don't think I'll be able to look myself in the mirror ever again. As soon as The Doctor says my debt is clear, I'm gonna find a place to learn to control my rage... That or learn to seal off my powers, after all if they vanish...
You don't realize the symbol on your stomach glow as you finish your thought,
Then noling would get hurt when I get mad.
Nodding your head at your plan, you continue to follow Spike till he reaches a...
River where there's a shack set up. Apparently it’s a rafting business run by a donkey. You would wonder why a donkey is out in one of the most dangerous (and annoying) forests in the whole bucking world by himself with a shack, but you were too busy listening in on their conversation,
“You doing a bit of traveling there young one?” asks the donkey.
“Yep, I’m on a journey to find myself,” answers Spike.
“Out here in the forest?”
“No, I’m trying to find where the Dragon Migration headed.”
Dragon Migration? you think to yourself, How the heck did I miss that? Oh right... foalnapping bugs.
Ignoring the anger that flashes at that thought, you continue to spy as the donkey says,
“Ah, got some family amongst them?”
“No… not that I know of anyway. I’ve been raised by ponies my whole life. I don’t know the first thing about being a dragon. I’m hoping I can figure it out by learning from my kind.”
That line hits you right in the heart. Poor Spike, being the only dragon amongst ponies. The little guy just wants to know who he is. You can relate to that on a personal level. Another thought hits you as you think,
He never got to know his parents either...
Wiping away the tears from that thought, you can't help but think in determination,
Don't worry little guy, you're not the only one...
With that thought you go back to spying as the donkey asks Spike,
“Are you sure a little guy like you should be out here on your lonesome?”
Spike gets a defensive look as he says,
“Hey, I’m tough! I’m a dragon after all!”
You get a deadpanned look as you think,
Says the dragon who last week I saw wearing a pink apron with hearts on it while walking into a pillow shop.
Spike sneezes and whisper something along the lines "Somepony's mocking me" before he sighs awkwardly as he says,
“So, uh, do you think you can take me down the river?”
“Sure thing young’un, that’ll be 150 Bits,”
“150?” you and Spike exclaim at the steep price.
“Well sure, I’ll be taking ya into dragon territory, mighty dangerous for us non-dragons.”
“Will an Emerald do?” Spike says as he takes out a hoof-sized emerald.
“Ayuh, that’ll work, hop on sir.”
As you see Spike get on the raft and float down the river, a wave of worry passes over you as you begin to debate with yourself,
“Oh, Poor Spike. I should bring him back home. Twilight, McStabFlank and the others must be devastated that he ran away.”
You then turn to the left as you counter yourself
“But on the other hoof, this is a journey of self discovery, who am I to interrupt that?”
You turn back to the right as you say,
“But what if he gets hurt? He’s a dragon yeah, but he’s still just a kid!”
Turning back to the left, you grunt slightly as you say,
“But this is his choice! He’s growing up, he’d have to join his kind one day!”
You turn to the left and make a 'tick' sound before saying,
“But he’s leaving behind his family, it will eat at both of them to the end of their days!”
Follow him from the shadows! Selena interrupts.
“Huh?”
If you can't make up thy mind, then do both. Ensure his safety in secret while he journeys to discover himself.
"That’s… actually a great idea, wait, why do you care about Spike?” you ask.
This whelp has shown his devotion and support to you and our daughter over and over again. It would be a shame to lose such an ally.
“Good point, also Twilight, McStabFlank, and Nightshade wouldn’t forgive me if I didn't do something, so yeah, let’s follow him.”
You then follow Spike along the shoreline, keeping the raft within sight.
“So how is Nightshade doing? I’m surprised she’s still asleep.” you say.
The sedative still courses through her veins, she may be out for some time. But do not worry, I have comforted her. She was still a bit shaken from her foalnapping, but she sleeps calmly now knowing we are with her.
You sigh in relief at that.
And Bugze… About what happened at the cave…
You seize up with guilt for what you did.
“Don’t…I…I can’t think about that right now,” you stutter.
Selena sighs,
Very well then, when you decide to talk, I will be waiting, but all I will say is this. Inaction is not a reprieve from guilt.
“Selena I…”
No, I have said my piece, speak when you are ready, I will be with our daughter. In the meantime, protect the Dragon. Nightshade cares for him greatly, so I would not see him hurt…
“I will, but Selena… Selena? Hey!”
She does not answer you because she is with Nightshade now.
“Great…just great,” you mutter to yourself. You now feel even worse because you actually may have broken your promise to her if the changelings died.
Fear suddenly courses through you as you realize it was a Pinkie Promise you two made...
BACK IN PONYVILLE
Pinkie Pie finishes hoofing out some cake to a group of crying mares. When she goes to a corner of the room, Applejack tenses up when she notices that Pinkie has a strange far away blank expression on her face and is holding something.
“Pinkie, what in tarnation are you doin with that ax?”
“I don’t know Applejack, for some reason I kind of felt I needed to take it for a walk. Like something was maybe broken and might need to be broken even more. It's better if I have it, just in case...” she says in cryptically monotone with flat hair.
Applejack, Fluttershy, and the other crying mares seem creeped out by this and rightfully so.
"That, uh... sounds very normal..." stutters Applejack.
"You think so?" Pinkie asks.
"No!"
Pinkie then starts laughing creepily, unnerving everypony even more,
"Pinkie, can you please stop? Now's not the time for that..." says a saddened Fluttershy.
"Yes please, this is a mournful time Ms. Pie," says Octavia.
Pinkie uncrazies and her hair puffs back up a bit (but not by much), "Oh, right... Sorry, I can't help it when my Pinkie sense hits... Here girls, enjoy the cake..."
"I don't know if we can... but we'll try Pinkie... we'll try..." says Fluttershy with tears in her eyes as Applejack (who's the only one not crying, but has a sadden look in her eyes) and Pinkie hug her.
BACK WITH YOU
“OH BUCK! That Pink Psycho is going to kill me!” you scream aloud.
You see Spike turn his head in your direction, but you duck down behind a bush before he sees you.
"Did you hear that?" asks Spike.
"Meh, probably just some random hungry beast... or the wind."
He just shrugs, guessing he was hearing things.
You poke your head back up from the bushes and sigh as you try to calm yourself,
“Okay, I’ll worry about that later. If I don’t keep an eye on Spike, she won’t be the only one trying to kill me… well more so than usual.”
As you follow Spike, you realize it is really really hot and humid, so you decide to take off your "Baker Sylvester Tennant" outfit. You're out in the middle of the woods, so you feel confident being in your own skin. And, wow, has it been a long time since you've taken it off. You actually are a little paler than usual. You then realize something truly horrific, something so terrible that even Lady Luck must be looking at you in sadness. Something that makes every time you've been given a beating by the Deadly Five or one of the many ponies/creatures that hate your guts look like a friendly spare. This horrible thing is that your amazing scarf is...
"What? When? Where!" you shout as you look around frantically. You realize you could've lost it at any moment in the woods. It's gone.
"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" you scream to the heavens, and when Spike and the Donkey look in your direction again you duck.
"OK Seriously, you've had to have heard something that time?" Spike says to the donkey.
"Kid, when you do this job as long as I have, you learn to block out the disembodied cries of anguish. If you don't then that's when you go missing and become one with them," says the Donkey matter of factly, causing Spike to shiver in dread.
As you continue to follow the raft, as well as morn the lost of your Doctor's scarf (It was the real bucking thing for buck sakes!), you begin to form a plan in your head. And that plan is...
Decide that since you're following Spike to a HORDE OF DRAGONS, you decide to check The Inventory and keep the "Big Daddy/Subject Delta armor" on standby in case you need it (or even wear it over or under your fireproof Hooded Offender cloak).
Okay, plan time! Since I know for a fact that Lady Luck is gonna mess me up somehow, I'm gonna need have the proper gear to fight dragons. I think I"ll keep the Big Daddy costume from Nightmare Night on standby as armor while also keeping the Nobody Cloak on standby as well due to it being fireproof. If I do get caught, I'll just grab Spike and I'll get the buck outta of there and back to Ponyville.
Nodding your head at the plan, you proceed to follow the raft (while wearing nothing but the Inventory... like every normal pony or changeling in this world). When another thought pops up in your head...
After your encounter with the changelings and seeing how you're going up against dragons, you realize you're lacking in anti-air abilities so read the "Kung-Fu For Dummies" book and learn an anti-air grapple which can be either: -Spinning Piledriver -Izuna Drop -Stalliongrad Blizzard
You know, considering what I just went through and how I might have to fight dragons. It might be a good idea to finally learn an anti-air attack. If one of those dragons tries to fly, I need to bring him down hard and fast before they can try anything!
You nod at your plan as you read a hoof into The Inventory and think about the book you need. You smile as you pull out the "Kung-Fu For Dummies" book and you open it to the index to find what your looking for. You smile when you find the anti-air section and you flip to the page that was marked in the book. You look at all the moves listed when on of them stands out. It's called the Stalliongrad Blizzard, and it sound like your kind of move. Flipping to its page you go over its instructions and smile as you feel you understand the move enough to do it in combat.
You learned "Stalliongrad Blizzard" (Anti-Air Spinning Grapple-Slam that causes a limited shockwave on impact with ground)
As you're about to put the book back into The Inventory, you see out of the corner of your eye of the previous page an interesting move: Spinning Piledriver. You remember pulling that move on a Royal Guard back at Ponyville during that "Mysterious Mare Do Well" business, but realize something;
Wait a minute... Shoryuken, Falcon Punch, Spinning Piledriver... How the heck are all these video game moves showing up in a book I found on the ground in Ponyville?
Shaking free that thought, you think,
Buck it, I'll ponder that later. For now I just need to get across this river.
And with that, you put away the book, take out the Power Glove, and say,
"Freeze, would you kindly." repeatedly, forming an ice bridge. With a satisfied smirk you begin to walk across it-
*slip*"Whoaaaaa!"*thud*
And end up slipping, sliding on your face across the length of the ice bridge, and crashing into a tree.
You follow Spike through a forest after he gets off his raft and as you do you mentally ask Selena,
Selena? Are you back yet?
...
I should take that as a no, huh?
IN NIGHTSHADE'S DREAMSCAPE
Nightshade creeps along the ground, getting closer and closer to the sheep in front of her. She slowly reaches out a hoof to touch its soft wool...
*Zap!*
She shrieks in laughter and runs away from the lightning bolts fired at her by the rest of the herd.
Selena sits to the side, shaking her head,
"Why do you dream of these creatures?"
"They're fun! Want to play with me?"
"Perhaps another time. I don't know whether to blame the drugs or your father's influence..." she mutters the last part.
Nightshade sits next to her, "What about Daddy? Do you think he'd want to play with me tonight?"
"I... don't believe so." She sighs as she watches a sheep discharge more electricity into the air. "Your father has a lot on his mind right now."
"Why? Did something happen?"
"It did. I will let him explain it to you, when he is ready. Suffice to say he had a crisis of conscience."
Nightshade chews her lip, "Did... did he make the right choice?"
Selena pauses for a long moment, "Bugze is a complicated being. I feel there are more sides to him than even he knows. As to if he made the right choice..." She shakes her head. "Time only knows."
BACK IN REALITY
You hold back a sneeze as you think,
They're talking about me in there. I just know it. Oh, Selena better not tell her about all those embarrassing things those bullies did to me! Or what I did to them...
Cringing slightly when you mention the changelings, you continue to follow Spike, but you can't help but feel there's someling else following Spike...
*Achoo*x3
Your eyebrow raises in confusion as you look around for the source of those sneezes, but when you don't find anything you just shrug your shoulders and think
You don't know long it has been. Hours could've just been minutes, or minutes could've been hours. Judging by the sun... Well, the sun doesn't usually move unless it is time for the Princesses to change it to night time. Just your luck, too! You have no idea how long you've been gone and your landlord/secret cousin may have some... revelations to your sudden absence.
Once she hears the word "changeling" as part of the cause, well...
You fight back a sigh in case of detection, stifling your tired body and mind to force yourself into moving forwards. You don't know how Spike could do it, but his determination leads him from hill to hill, terrain to terrain, and so on forth. You didn't have much to complain about, except for one thing...
WHAT THE BUCK IS WRONG WITH EQUESTRIA'S WEATHER! It's snowy one hour, then blazing hot the next, then it's back to bucking snowing! Did the pegasi in charge of weather set it to random today or something! I swear if Sunbutt or Luna doesn't knock some sense into them soon then there's gonna be Tartraus to pay!
Besides that not much to complain about, well there's also the fact that traveling in foreign lands can attract wild animals. So, being the bro you are, you kick flank for the sake of his safety and its' pretty easy. Just a Falcon punch here, an Incinerate there, and quite a few bee clouds. You wonder if you would be a decent bodyguard (you know, for job options). But you have no time to ponder this career option as you both ended up in a hot, sweltering cesspool of a rocky jungle, with a few stinking volcanoes and mountains to show for it a fair distance away.
There are less creatures trying to attack you or Spike now, although with the growing closeness of motherbucking dragons, you couldn't blame them, but now your hooves hurt.
Seriously, you've both been walking nonstop for so darn long that your hooves are starting to ache like Tartarus.
Props to Spike for being bipedal and STILL not get tired. Geez. Maybe it had to do with the hobo stick and the fake beard he had on. Must've been enchanted by Sparklebutt, giving him infinite endurance. Wait a minute... When did Spike grow a beard?! Did years actually pass?!"
Idiot. It's just a fake, Selena comments.
Selena had come back from Nightshades Dreamscape a few miles back, and she gave you a update on Nightshade's progress. She's doing well, but whenever you try to bring up the subject of the changelings, she would always tell you after you dealt with Spike. Anyway, you blink a few times at what Selena said before you say,
"Oh."
You see smoke coming off of the mountains, which is where the trail of dragons ended. Get any closer and you'll become much closer to barbecue than usual. Thankfully, you're not wearing your scarf, otherwise you'd be a sweating mess!
...
"WHY SCARF! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE ME IN THIS WARM, HUMID, AND CRUEL WORLD!"
...You truly are the dumbest bug in existence, you do know that right?
...
"Shut up."
Ignoring Selena before she can make a comeback, you see Spike get excited as the goal is in sight, as he rips the fake beard out of his face and toss it away, conveniently landing onto your exposed muzzle. Annoyed, you intend to tear it out, but when you pass by a stream, the reflection gave you pause.
"...The buck?"
Looking at it, you kinda look like one of your Grandbuggy's disguises, maybe a spitting image of him!
"...I never thought I would see one of his faces again..."
Ahem...
You take the hint to move on, but you kept the beard on. You don't know why you need to, but there is just something about having your mouth covered by a beard that makes you feel comfortable. It's kinda like when your Grandbuggy watches over you...
"Fake Beard" acquired
You follow Spike to see that he's now... climbing up a mountain. You can only stare at the mountain in pure annoyance as you scream to the heavens,
"NOT ANOTHER BUCKING MOUNTAIN!"
Spike looks around in confusion, before he shrugs and continues to climb. You sigh in sadness as you think,
Stupid bucking mountains. You're now on the list of environmental things I hate now. I hope you're glad!
ONE TIRING MOUNTAIN CLIMB LATER
You arrive at the top with a gasp, out of breathe and aching from horn to tail.
Climbing is bucking Tartarus! I almost stumbled and fell! Several times! Thank Luna for parkour skills... And who the buck builds a rabbit hole in the middle of a rocky PATH?!
Spike is ahead of you, and you didn't like the way the other dragons look at the kid. You stay put. After all, you barely survived ONE your first time! You rather not test you horrible luck against hundreds (if not thousands) of them all at once. So, you do the next best thing: Scouting.
With the awesome powers of eagle sight that is "ZOOM", you scan the entire mountain top, keeping in mind of Spike's general position. As you watch Spike interact with the smaller dragons, you see something that makes you want to hug someling. Your eyes turn to bit signs as you see a mountain of,
With all of that, I bet the Doctor will drop the debt early, and I'll have some for on the side! It's prefect plan!
Your about to dive into the gold like a duck when you see a big red dragon with a scared left eye walk over to the cave containing the pile of riches (which just so happen to be near Spike's location) and then proceeded to sleep on it. You whimper slightly as you say,
As you stare at the huge pile of treasure you think,
Oh Luna, so much gold... But is the potential freedom and life of luxury worth the broken bones almost guaranteed to get?
Before you can ponder this further, you suddenly feel a pair of claws clamp on you shoulders and roughly dragged to your feet. You see a bipedal dragon with purple scales and yellow hair obscuring his eyes standing in front of you, crossing his arms after he lets go of you,
"Dragons only, chump. Back down the mountain with you."
"Back down?! After what I put up with on my way up?! Look, I'm not even here to bother you. I just want to keep an eye on-"
"This is our mountain now. We make the rules." He smirks at you, "And my rule is that non-dragons go back down the mountain. The easy way or the hard way."
You return the smirk,
"And what if I can get past you?"
He laughs, "Give it your best shot!"
You take a deep breath-
STOP!
Only to gag and cough in surprise at Selena's outburst causing the dragon to look at you in confusion as you think in surprised panic,
W-what?! Is something wrong with Nightshade?
No, just don't say those words!
You gain a look of confusion as the dragon looks at a watch he drew on his hand while you think,
What words? I was just gonna knock him back with-
With the Fus Ro Dah, the three words used by a Dragonborn warrior to slay dragons. The three words that would mark you an enemy to all dragons everywhere. What do you suppose would happen if every dragon here heard you shout those words?
...Oh.
"Time's up," the dragon says, and he picks you up by the neck as you're distracted by your mental conversation with Selena, "You're going down, and you're going down my way. The easy way."
"Would you kind- Wait," You say as you were about to whip out the Power Glove until you heard that last bit, "Seriously? The easy way?"
The dragon gains a cruel smirk as he says,
"Sure. All you gotta do is sit back, relax, and let gravity do all the work."
With that he throws you over the edge of the cliff. Time seems to slow to a crawl as you look down and see just how high you really were. It looked like it would take days to fall (not really since you manage to get up here in a few hours, but you're too stricken with fear to care) so you do the only thing you can do: Pull a sign out of nowhere that says
Buck You Lady Luck
With that, time unfreezes and gravity kicks in as you start to fall towards the ground below as you angrily shout,
"MOTHERBUCK-*crack*!"
Before you hit the rocks and start rolling down the mountainside, shouting curses of the dragon, his family, and his very existence all the way down, until you slam against something. You hold your head in pain as you say,
"Ugh, that hurt. I swear the next time I see that stupid dragon I'm gon-"
“EEEEEEPPPPPP!” you shriek like a filly as you jump into the air in fright.
You turn around with the Power Glove at the ready, look up, and see… the strangest looking thing you've ever seen. Seriously, is that supposed to be a dragon? It’s got derped eyes, eight legs, weird wings and it’s tongue is hanging out if it’s head.
“Groah” it says again.
As you stare at the... "dragon" in front of you, you can't help but think,
It doesn't appear to be hostile, if anything it looks like a lost stupid puppy. I guess I could try talking to it...
With that thought in mind you say,
“Ummmmm… hi?”
“Blarg”
“So uh… are you a dragon?”
“Blarg,”
“Kay, not too sure what that means…”
“Honk Honk,”
“Are you lost?”
It doesn't respond, and instead starts scratching itself like a dog.
“Well if you’re looking for dragons, they’re way up there.” you say as you point towards the top of the mountain.
As you point, you see a similar looking dragon climbing up the mountain... or at least trying to climb it. It looks more like it's trying to slide down the mountain rather the climb it. You just shake it off as you look back towards the dragon and say,
“See look, I think your relatives are looking for you so... shoo.”
You make a 'shooing' motion as you say this, and the 'dragon' looks at you confused before it says
“Honk, blarg, Honk,” It then licks you upside the head and starts walking away.
You get a disgusted look as a part of your head is covered in dragon slime. Making a disgusted sound you begin to wipe off as much slime as you can as you say,
"I swear the amount of times I get covered in some disgusting liquid should not be this mu-ugh it got in my mouth! IT GOT IN MY MOUTH! OH LUNA IT BURNS! IT BUCKING BURNS! *spit noises*"
You stick out your tongue as you desperately try to wipe off all the dragon slime that got in. Once you think you got it all off (you almost used the "Incinerate!" plasmid on your tongue before Selena took temporary direct control to stop you from doing that) you put your tongue back in you mouth and are about to go climb back up the mountain when...
*ding*
Your eyes open in realization when you spot the strange looking dragon begin to easily climb the mountain. You smirk slightly as get a great idea. You jump into a bush, dislodge it then use it to hide you as you ride on the thing’s back while also holding onto the thing's scales since your now sideways.
“Hey, thought I’d keep you company, you don’t mind right?”
“Honk!” it says as it starts panting happily.
Using the thing’s help, you manage to get back to the top of the mountain and witness Spike being hazed by the Teenaged dragons. They make fun of him for being little and for being raised by ponies, and then they start putting him through the tests. After the tail wrestling test, you realize your new friend is named Crackle, and apparently all of her family look weird since cause you've seen her cousin hanging around with the others. Soon the dragons get to the lava jumping so you (still in the bush) take Crackle by the horns and steer her further up the volcano so that you can get a better look at the cannonball competition… and just so happen to end up at Smaug's cave entrance.
You don't go in just yet, instead you use your new position of height to see what's going on with the cannonball competition. You see Spike starting to get cold feet and you can't blame him, It's a giant pool of lava! Even you aren't stupid enough to cannonball into one...
Unless I had a fireproof c-
No.
But I'd be wearing the Nobody Cloak! It's fire proof, plus think of all the bits we could ma-
I said no.
Your mental begging of a get rich quick scheme is interrupted when you hear,
Erised the Ink-moth
"What's the matter, you chicken!?"
You suddenly hear a chorus of jeering laughter that's all too familiar to you; it's the laughter of somelin- somedragon getting bullied. You quickly make your way closer to the dragons (using Crackle as a decent cover) just in time to witness the same dragons who (possibly) un-alived your own bullies teasing Spike about his size,
"You sure your name's Spike and not Shrimp?" one taunts.
"Or Peewee!" another joins in.
After they continue to make jabs at how he doesn't have any wings yet, how he looks more like a hatchling, and even strike a low blow by saying,
"This kid is probably a pony in a dragon costume!"
*snap*
Your eyes blaze orange and you're about to explode on these jerks. No matter how outnumbered you are; noling picks on your little buddy! You would get a decent point to dive off into the fray too, but Crackle keeps shifting over to her cousin, who has also been watching all this go down...
POV Change (Twilight and friends in the dragon suit)
"Honk." Crackle says to the ponies, thinking that their suit is an actual relative of hers.
"Oh no, we've been spotted you guys. What do we do now?" Rainbow asks the others.
"Well don't look at me Rainbow, I haven't the slightest on how to deal with these garish beasts." Rarity shrugs.
"Well we need to think of something!" Rainbow practically yells, "It's right there!"
"Girls! Quiet!" Twilight tries to silence them for the stake of maintaining their cover as long as possible, fortunately the other dragons are still to busy being mean to Spike.
"Honk?" a slightly confused Crackle asks.
"Oh I sure hope this works..." Twilight tells herself nervously before turning to Crackle "Uh, meep meep?"
"I think I'm seeing a pattern here. Blargs come after honks... or vise-versa?" Twilight's mind raced to comprehend what she just said, but draws a complete blank. So instead she improvises,
"Meep-beep blarg... snorkle?"
Crackle just stares at her for a moment, and then begins to howl with laughter. After drawing the attention of everyone near and still going on for another minute or so, she finally settles down and clears her throat.
"Ah... very good cousin, very good. It is always such a treat to see you." Crackle speaks in a sophisticated Trottingham accent.
POV Change: Bugze (You)
*crack*
All your anger at the dragons disappears as you quietly turn around and look over to Crackle in shock and you swear you hear glass breaking as you look at your scaly companion. You stare at her for a good few minutes before you ask,
"Did... did you just talk?"
Crackle turns around and looks at you in confusion before she says,
"Blurg Honk Snort?"
You give her a deadpanned look before you facehoof and mutter,
"I think I've been straining my ears for too long trying to hear what those dragons were whispering before. I'm starting to hear things."
For some reason, you can't help but feel that Crackle's cousin agrees with you. Sighing you have Crackle take you back to Smaug's cave cave entrance so you can get a better look at Spike. Crackles cousin follows Crackle as you get back to the cave entrance. With another sigh you focus back on Spike. Although instead of being at the top of the diving board where you last saw him, he's now swimming around in the pool of lava!
Whoa, And I thought I was fireproof...
The red dragon (who looks familiar...) says something which causes the other dragons and Spike to nod their heads before they get out of the lava pool and they...
Begin to pig out on the gem pile they were playing on earlier.
“Yeesh these guys are just the worst, stupid dude-bros... Come on Spike you’re better than this,” you say aloud.
“Honk,” Crackle agrees with a nod.
While they pig out, you debate whether you should take all the gold now or later.
Well... Spike's not exactly in any immediate danger, I mean dang, the kid can eat diamonds like they were candy and swim in bucking lava like it was a pool.
With that in mind you jump out of the bush and motion for Crackle to follow you into the cave. You and Crackle sneak into the cave as quietly as possible. When you get close to a stack of gems and gold you can't help but rationalize...
"Well... I don't think Smaug's gonna miss some gold, after all I'm sure that he stole from somewhere else first..."
Opening the Inventory, you quickly begin stuffing in gold and jewels, careful to not wake Smaug as you're not very sure how to win a battle with him (not to mention he's probably still really mad about you slashing his eye and making him fight a Hydra) so it's probably best not to wake him up.
"Sleep Little Dragon, Sleep Well, and don't wake up or look to me..."
You weakly try to sing a lullaby to keep Smaug asleep, but your attempts are in vain when Smaug shifts a little. You freeze at this action and stay as still as possible till Smaug stops moving. When he does and you can once again hear him snoring, you sigh in relief and go back to grabbing as many gems and gold as possible. As you do you notice in the corner of your eye...
BUCKING BRONCO "Knock your enemies for a loop and keep them hanging high with a mini-quake. Now in Earthy Apple Cinnamon."
You smile with nerdy happiness as you think,
Aw yeah! Another vigor to add to the collection! The Bucking Bronco too! This'll come in hoofy for later. But I should probably wait awhile before I drink it. Considering how... 'explosive' these things can get when I drink them I should probably wait till I'm not near the gigantic dragon who hates me and could eat me with one bite before I drink it.
With that thought in mind you put the Bucking Bronco vigor into The Inventory for later.
"Bucking Bronco vigor" added to Inventory
With that done with you're about head back when you see a pair of orange nunchaku in the pile next to you. You give a quiet nerdy squee as you think,
Hay bucking yeah! Num-chucks! Oh, I'm gonna have so much fun with these!
You pick them up and notice an inscription on them. You look closely and see-
And they have a picture of Baise bucking Lee himself engraved into them! So... awesome! Better save em for later to try out, don't want to accidentally throw them into Smaug. That would NOT end well for me...
As you put the "Nun-chucks" into The Inventory, you spot a shiny metallic grey hammer sticking out of the pile.
Wait, Is that... You quickly (but quietly) rush over and pick up the hammer and start squeeing,
Oh my Luna, the design, the decorations, the strap, it IS Mjolnir! I can't be... lieve...
You stop your squeeing when you realize that you're holding the mallet which means that it's NOT Mjolnir because you're able to lift it. Your smile drops at this as you think,
Awww... would have been awesome if this were the real thing... Oh well. I guess I could take it to the appraiser as it looks like silver at the very least. Hay, worst case scenario: I can sell it to Comic Joe's for a few bits.
With that thought in mind you put away the silver mallet and the Nunchucks into The Inventory.
With that said and done you walk back over to Crackle (who has just been staring at you in confusion) and continue looting. As you do you don't notice three pairs of eyes watching you...
Unknown to you, Twilight, Rainbow, and Rarity saw you undisguised. First, they saw the beard and couldn't help but be weirded out to see facial hair on a changeling. As for the hair style and color unique only to you... Well, it's matted with dirt, sticks, leaves, and small rocks earned from travel. It almost looks as though your mane is greased with murky brown, decorated with patches of orange and green popping out.
Essentially, they didn't recognize you at all.
"What the hay?" Rainbow Dash perked, "What's a changeling doing all the way out here in dragon territory?"
"From this far after a few years..." Twilight hummed, "I don't want to believe this is one of Chrysalis's drones, but for one to be all so alone... Something like this doesn't happen unless their group has been... forcibly disbanded."
Rarity pointed with a gasp at the mess of a mane their object of attention wore,
"And such disastrous mane hair! I'd didn't think changelings had manes until we met the Hooded Offender, but it looks as though it went through YEARS without proper mane care!" she dramatizes, "Even his beard needs a little touchup."
Rainbow nods, surprisingly, in agreement to the subject of the mane and beard,
"Yeah, I can feel a 'Hardcore Survivalist' vibe coming off of him."
The two unicorns stared at her.
"What? I've read enough Daring Do to know what this character would be like. Come on, Twi, don't you think he kinda looks like the 'Smooth Junglest' as described in the Third Book?"
"You mean the one who called himself 'Jack' and flirted with every single character in the book, mare and stallion, pony and nonpony included?"
Twilight responds with a raised brow.
"Yup!"
"Who helped lead Daring Do away from an infested part of a forest likely filled with Hornets and Bees along her way towards her next temple?"
"That's the guy!"
"The very same stallion who apparently was supposed to have died off in the end, but possibly didn't die due to the epilogue where there was flirty note left behind by said character, which started off a heated argument in the entire Daring Do community about whether or not he left it there before or after his apparent death?"
"Definitely! And I still say that the 'Smooth Junglest' lived as he got mauled by a tiger AND skewered with 9 arrows even before his supposed 'death' and was just fine a few pages later."
Twilight Sparkle looks back at the changeling, then back to her friend,
"Don't ruin the dream, Rainbow."
"Hehe," Rainbow sheepishly says, "Sorry, Twi, but you gotta admit, he looks the same!"
"Regardless, he doesn't seem very intelligent seeing how he's looting a Dragon's treasure horde from right under the sleeping dragon." Twilight points out.
Rarity looks back and forth between her two friends. Sure, she always knew that they were into this Daring Do and A.K yearling, but couldn't help but become utterly lost. Her most appropriate reaction is to rub her head a little to ease a growing headache,
"Oh, dear. What have this journey turned into?"
POV Change: Bugze (You)
"Ah...Ah...Ahc-"
You cover your nose quickly to suppress the sneeze that would have definitely woken up Smaug. When you make sure that you won't sneeze you sigh in relief before you glare at a wall and mutter,
"Whoever was talking about me almost got me killed! Someling's getting pranked when I get back!"
With that said you go back to looting. As you do you begin to say under your breath,
“Alright, this gold is mine. It would've been mine a few months ago if I hadn't needed to use it to stop Smaug and King Ghidorah.”
“Blarg?” whispers Crackle.
“Oh, well this guy and a giant hydra were fighting… because of me, and I used Smaug’s stolen treasure to…”
SCENE MISSING DO TO REASONS! REASONS THAT ARE SO IMPORTANT THAT WE CAN NOT EVEN SAY WHAT THEY ARE!
“…And then the Zebras and Giraffes lived together in harmony in Giraffrica forever after because of their mutual dislike of Ketchup-flavored Potato Chips, anyway that’s how I saved Hearth’s Warming Eve” you finish to a very confused Crackle.
“B-Blarg?” Crackle asks confused.
I concur with the abomination, WHAT? says an equally confused Selena.
“Oh you’re confused? Let me start again. Smaug and King Ghidorah were fighting so I used my ill-gotten gold to-”
Enough! NO! We've wasted enough time as it is. The longer you stand her blathering, the more likely the chance our red dragon will wake up.
“...Good point,” you say as you hastily start stealing more gold. As you do you start to monologue your plans for the gold and jewels,
"All I need to do is gather about half this gold and I’ll be able to pay off the Doctor and finally be able to go back to Appleloosa.”
You grab an shiny-looking diamond from the hoard and look at your reflection.
“Then there’ll be no more fighting, no more crazy stalker mares, no more princesses, no more chasing purple dragons…”
Which you have already neglected. finishes Selena.
“OH Buck, Spike!” you yelp before covering your mouth.
Smaug twitches in his sleep, so you slowly back the buck off and back towards Crackle (she had moved back to the cave entrance while you were talking to Selena). You quickly stuff a couple more jewels and gold before you jump back into the bush on Crackles back. With that she (and you since your on top of her) head back to see what's going on with Spike. Oh, and if your wondering how much loot you nabed, well...
"Unknown number of Gems" added to Inventory "Unknown number of Gold Coins" added to Inventory "Unknown number of Jewelry" added to Inventory
-WARNING: Due to the fact you were looting in a rush and that you're not a qualified appraiser, the quantity and value of this treasure will remain unknown.
The two of you witness Spike and the others lying on their backs after eating a lot and making small talk. They are alot closer to where you are then last time, so you can actually hear what they're saying this time and you hear Spike say something that worries you,
“The way I feel right now, I can hang out with you guys forever,”
“Forever? No Spike No!” you gasp.
You then hear Crackle's cousin say,
“Forever?!” in three separate voices.
“Yo Crack, what’s up with your cousin’s voice?”
“Honk Honk?”
“Eh, guess it doesn't matter, but yeah, Spike can’t stay with these Dude-bros, they’re a bad influence on him. His family is back in Ponyville where he belongs. Plus the mares will try to kill me more so then usual if I don't...”
“Blarg,”
“Well I know he’s amongst his kind but… Spike isn't like this, he doesn't have to follow this path…” you say with sadness.
No, he doesn't… whispers Selena, Wait, how is it you can understand what this abomination is saying?
Before you could respond, you hear the dragons talking some more,
“Ya, now we’re going to go swipe some Phoenix Eggs, you’re in right Spike?”
You gain a look of confusion as you think,
Phoenix egg? I thought the only phoenix in existance was Celestia's annoying bird. Which reminds me, I still owe that little pest a prank for setting me on fire last year- Gah, focus bug.
You snap out of your thoughts and tune in back to Spikes conversation,
“I, Um…”
“Come on, it will be fun!” says the Purple one.
“Well, maybe not as fun as Squash the Bug” says the big one.
“Oh yeah, that was pretty fun last night” says Garble.
“Yeah, I love a good fight,” says the White one rubbing a gash over his eye.
“Wait a minute,” you say as you realize you've heard these voices before.
“What’s squash the bug?” asks Spike.
“Oh that’s where you come across some Changelings, and then you squish them,” says Garble.
“Oh no, these are the guys I left the others with…” you say with a hint of guilt.
“Y-you guys came across Changelings last night?”
“Oh yeah, thought they could crash our cave last night, so we showed them otherwise.”
“Did you see a dark colored unicorn filly with them, or a stallion with a bunch of funny clothes?”
“Don’t know about any filly, but some weirdo shouted at them before running away from us.”
“That must've been Tennant,” says Spike aloud.
“Yeah, the idiot ran right out into a forest fire, and unlike us, they ain't fire proof,” says the White dragon.
“I’m sure he’s fine, he probably had Nightshade too,”
You then hear Crackle's cousin say,
“Oh no, he still doesn't know,” in two different voices before you hear choked back sobbing in a third.
You look back at Crackle in confusion as you ask,
“Seriously, the heck is up with that, can you speak in different voices?”
“Narp” says Crackle.
“But yeah, thanks for squashing those Bucking Bugs, they foalnapped Nightshade and we couldn't do anything,” says Spike.
"Oh that language!" Says Crackle's cousin in two different voices... again
Just ignore it bug, right now is not the time to let voices get to me... well more so then usual at least.
“Ohhhh… Nightshade, who is that, your little girlfriend?” taunts Garble.
“Wh-what? N-no, she’s just my friend,” stutters a blushing Spike.
“Oh wow, little guy’s gone native huh?” taunts the big dragon.
“Yeah, I bet he sleeps with pony mares,” chuckles the purple one.
“Oh yeah, I sleep with mares all the time." Spike responds obliviously.
The chuckling stops as they look back at Spike.
“Say what now?” says Garble.
“I sleep with mares all the time, they’re really comfortable.”
The dragons all have shocked faces on and so do you.
“Spike… slept with mares… as in more than one? Uh... I don't know if I should be disappointed or be congratulating him?” you stutter in disbelief.
“Really? H-how many?” asks Garble.
“Oh well let’s see, I've slept with Twilight, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Princess Celestia, Princess Cadance, the Cutie Mark Crusaders…”
He keeps listing off names as you and the teenaged dragons listen on in shock.
“Twilight really? I thought he was like your little Brother! And the rest of the Deadly 6? The Buck?! Sun Butt… how the heck did he pull that off? Cadance, how could you? And the CMC, oh their sisters are going to be so upse…” you then realize who else is apart of the CMC.
“THAT LITTLE PUNK WAS WITH MY BABY?!”
You pull out your Power Glove with burns angrily,
“Alright, new plan, Skin Spike alive and make a nice new fireproof coat out of his perverted scales, and then use his skull as a drinking instrument, and his spine as a back scratcher, and-” suddenly you feel your mouth close on its own for a second.
You Idiot, he merely means he has slumbered with these mares. chides Selena.
You realize that she’s right, “Oh…I guess that makes more sense, heh heh…”
Seriously, your mind always jumps to the most perverted outcomes, just like those teenaged whelps! she chides as you know she is shaking her head in frustration.
When you look back, you see the dragons still look shocked.
“…And then there was that time with Moon Dancer, and yeah, that’s about it.”
Garble blinks once before answering, “Dang… are pony mares really that loose?”
You can't help but blurt out at this,
"Oi! That's sexist... I think. Although with my experiences with mares so far that could be true..."
You can feel the facehoof from Selena before she says,
Bugze... shut up.
You decide to listen to Selena for once as the purple dragon says,
“They all seem to like dragons a lot,” contemplates the Purple one.
“Yeah see, you all thought I was crazy when I told you about waking up with my claws in that Turquoise Unicorn’s Mouth!” shouts the White Dragon.
“Oh yeah, that sounds like Lyra, she likes Claws and Minotaur Hands for some reason, I've woken up to that too…” Spike says in a creeped out manner.
Note to self: Knock out and/or drag Lyra to a local psychologist for claw and hand obsession. Also, thank Luna I'm a changeling.
“Where exactly is this Ponyville again?” asks the Purple dragon.
Garble shakes his head to get rid of these thoughts, “Alright! Let’s stop talking about… this... and just go swipe some eggs.” stutters Garble as he flies off.
The Big one fist bumps Spike and says, “Respect little man,” before he picks him up and flies off.
“I don’t get it, respect for what? What did I do?” stutters Spike.
You see them carrying Spike away, and you realize enough is enough, Spike can’t be around these dragons anymore.
You rear Crackle up and declare,
“Hi Ho Crackle, Away!”
“Blarg,”
And Crackle begins to crookedly fly after the dragons to which you hold on for dear life.
As you do, you don’t notice Crackle’s cousin trying to follow.
POV Change: Twilight, Rarity, and Rainbow
“We have to get him, we can’t lose him too!” shouts Rainbow Dash trying to fly almost heading towards lava.
“Rainbow Dash, please stop, we can’t fly in this thing,” says Rarity.
“Yeah, we’re going to have to hoof it,” says Twilight.
“But we have to hurry, we can’t let Spike Go… we can’t let anyone else go…” Rainbow laments with tears in her eyes.
Rarity and Twilight hug her with tears in their own.
“We won’t Dash, we won’t lose Spike like we lost… them.” says Twilight sniffling.
FLASHBACK, TWILIGHT VERSION!
The girls were following Spike through the Everfree forest while Rarity (somehow) is working on the dragon suit. Earlier there had been search teams looking for Baker Sylvester Tennant, Nightshade, and the changelings that had infiltrated the town, but a forest fire had kept them at bay. Both Twilight and Spike reasoned that Tennant had taken care of the problem in his usual way, so Spike decided to go on a quest of self discovery.
Suddenly, the trio runs into Flash Sentry and notice that he looks sorrowful.
“Flash, what’s wrong?” asks Twilight in concern.
“I… was out looking for Tennant… my bro…” he says saddened.
“D-did you find him?” asks Rainbow in a combination of worry and hope.
“I…I did,” he says as he holds up a burnt and battered scarf.
Everyone gasps at this.
“N-no way…” Rainbow says in heartbroken shock.
“Oh no, oh dear,” Rarity mutters sadly.
“Flash, are you saying he’s…” Twilight asks.
Flash puts his head down, “Probably.”
“No… no,” says Dash with watery eyes.
“I found this right in the center of a burned out area. It seems to be where the fire originated. Not too far away was a cave…” he pauses saddened, “Inside I saw both Green and Red blood, and piece of cloth from Nightshade’s vest…”
“Oh My goodness,” says Rarity.
“M-my student… Nightshade…” laments Twilight.
“There was no other trail I could find…I’m…I’m sorry,” he says before he stands off to the side as some tears escape him while the mares have a group cry with each other, Rainbow having the worst reaction to the news.
“Wh-what do we do now?” asks Twilight.
“What do you mean!” asks an angry and saddened, but determined Rainbow Dash, “We keep following Spike! That’s what we do!”
“My poor little Spikey-Wikey, he has no idea… he could get hurt.” laments Rarity.
“We are going to make sure Spike comes home safe and sound! We have to!” shouts Rainbow.
“Y-you’re right, I can’t let my little brother come to harm, *sniff*, I just can’t,” says Twilight.
“Then let’s push on ahead… Please… let’s push on a-bucking-head…” Rainbow Begs.
“OK,” says Flash, “I’ll head back to town, everypony else needs to know… but girls, be safe out there.”
“We will… we have to. We are NOT going to lose anypony... else...” says Rainbow.
BACK TO THE FUTU-I MEAN PRESENT
After a few more sniffles, Twilight sighs as she says,
"Come on girls, we can make it there a little bit after they do if we start moving now."
With that said Rarity and Rainbow nod their heads as they start after Spike and the other dragons.
POV Change: Bugze (You)
You suddenly feel a shiver up your spine,
“Weird, it feels like ponies think I’m dead again... eh probably nothing.”
IN THE DREAMSCAPE
Nightshade’s dream starts playing sad music,
“Weird, it feels like ponies are sad because of me... Oh well, BANZAI!” Nightshade yells before cannonballing into a fruit punch lake.
BACK WITH YOU SOMETIME LATER
You and Crackle managed to catch up with the dragons even though you lost sight of them a few minutes ago, but you and Crackle managed to find them in a forested area as they're about to...
SMASH A PHOENIX EGG INTO THE GROUND!
What do you do?
Episode 71: Bugze Vs. Dude-Bro Teenaged Dragons! (Dragon Quest Arc Part 3)
Seeing the dragons about to smash the egg quickly enrages you, seeing how Changelings are born from them. To you, the destruction of the egg would be like child murder, even if it's a phoenix egg, not a Changeling one.
*snap*
Seeing the dragons about to smash the egg quickly enrages you, causing your eyes to glow a blazing orange as you growl slightly. To you, the destruction of a Phoneix egg would be like foal murder as Changelings come from eggs too (although you're perfectly fine with eating chicken eggs. Smug little mothercluckers think they're so cool with their road crossing...)
Your hooves dig into the ground in anger as you think,
I swear if those motherbuckers smash that egg, I'm gonna bucking tear off their bucking limbs and smash every bucking bone in their bucking bodies!
Shaking your head to briefly calm you, you're about to charge the dragons when you hear the red teen dragon say...
Before you can do anything, the Teens decide that Spike should be the one to smash the egg. “Oh jeez, these guys are freaking serial killers in the making, killing helpless creatures and beaten changelings for fun!” “Blarg,” says Crackle. “Hey, I know what I did was wrong, but they’re still nutjobs,” “Honk Honk,” “Oh, good idea, let’s see if Spike falls into temptation or not,” you say as you watch.
"I got an idea, why don't we let the newbie smash it, it can be your right of passage into our group."
With that said he hoofs the egg to a conflicted looking Spike, while all you can do is sigh in annoyance as you mutter,
“Oh jeez, these guys are freaking serial killers in the making, killing helpless creatures and beaten changelings for fun!”
“Blarg,” says Crackle.
“Hey, I know what I did was wrong, but they’re still nutjobs,”
“Honk Honk,”
“Oh, good idea, let’s see if Spike falls into temptation or not, besides I have a feeling he'll make the right choice.” you say as you watch, hoping that your gut instinct is correct.
As Spike holds the phoenix egg in his claws as the older dragons egg him on (Pun very much intended), he feels a sense of morality coming over him. In his claws is a baby phoenix, something that will one day become a beautiful creature that could possibly live forever, and he's being told to murder it before it's even born, before it even sees Celestia's sun rise for the first time.
These guys are offering me a place that I can truly belong, but at what cost? he wonders as the others chant "Smash the egg."
"NO!" he snaps at them, defiantly holding the egg away from them, "It's just a defenseless egg, like I was! And I'm not gonna let you hurt it!"
"What, did you just say... shrimp?" Garble asks through gritted teeth. "Don't you want to become one of us? A real dragon?!"
"Not if it means being a murderer!" Spike says with a glare, standing his ground against the much larger trio of dragons "You should all be ashamed of yourselves; picking on things that are smaller than you! I may have been raised by ponies, and I may have been little and soft all my life. But I'm not ashamed of that anymore! My friends... my real friends were right all along. I know where I belong now, and it's back in Ponyville, so I'm leaving now." he stomps his foot for emphasis.
"Wow..." Garble and the other teen dragons look stunned "No-dragon's ever stood up to me like that before." Garble's shocked expression suddenly morphs into one of pure rage.
You gain a look of horror as you and Crackle's cousin cry out (in four different voices, no less),
"Spike! No!"
You quickly turn to Crackle in surprise,
"Your cousin can talk too?"
"Blargh." Crackle replies.
"Good point," you say, before turning back to examine the scene to see that the dude-bro dragons' focus on the now running (more of a waddle to be honest with how uneven her steps are) abomination that is Crackle's cousin as he (she? it?) rushes out between Spike and the other dragons.
"Spikey-wikey, are you OK?" he... she... they ask.
"That voice... Rarity?" Spike cries, looking up as Crackle's cousin throws off their skin to reveal- Twilight, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash!
"Whoa, Crackle! Your cousin is actually three ponies?" you say to the odd dragon. "You must have a weird family tree."
"Honk honk, blargh," Crackle answers.
"Oh, it's the extended family's fault. I can buy that, but hey this just means more help for us to beat these dragons down!" you reply, but before you can join Spike and the others to hold off the dragons, Rainbow suddenly shouts in anger,
“Nopony is going to lay a claw on him!”
Twilight nods her head as she moves protectively in front of Spike like a big sister would for her younger brother. You can't help but comment,
"I wonder if that's how I look when I'm protecting Nightshade... Nah, I look waaaayyyy cooler then her when I'm protecting Nightshade. At least I think I do... ugh focus on the matter at hoof bug."
With that said you tune back in to the conversation to hear Rarity shout,
“Fighting’s not really my thing, I’m more into fashion, but I’ll rip you to pieces if you touch one scale on his cute little head!”
You suddenly feel a sense of dread as you can feel the killing intent coming off of them. You can't help but gulp in fear as you whimper to Crackle,
“Did I say help? I meant danger, even more danger!”
However, you can't help but think,
Although at least they aren't directing their anger at me this time. But with my luck their anger is going to be directed at me somehow... stupid lady luck. STUPID LADY LUCK, YOUR PLANNING SOMETHING I KNO-
"Bwahahahahah! You beat us? Yeah right Bwahahahahahaha! How are a bunch of puny, girly, squishy ponies gonna beat up us bigger stronger and better dragons! Bwahahahahaha!"
Your 'anti-lady luck' rant is interrupted by teenaged dragons mocking laughter. You can only shake your head in sympathy at this as you comment aloud,
“Wouldn't do that guys, these girls pack a punch. Make them mad and you'll feel their wrath...”
Crackle gives you a confused look as she asks,
"Blrag?"
You shake your head as you say,
"Long story, I'll tell ya later after these meat heads are taken care of."
With that said you tune back in to see the dragons laughter end before the red one says mockingly,
“What? Are these namby pamby ponies your friends Spike?”
“That’s right, and they’re better friends than you could ever be,” rebuttals Spike.
“Oh is that so, well…”
“Whoa, wait, are these like… mares from Ponyville…THE Mares?” asks the Purple one with bangs.
“Um… yeah, that’s Twilight, Rarity and Rainbow Dash,” answers Spike.
“Whoa… so mares like dragons so much, they came looking for you?” asks the big one.
You can't help but give a deadpanned stare as you say,
"I don't like where this is going...."
“Uh…I guess?” says Spike as Garble and the girls look confused.
With that, the purple one and the big one step forward with (what is known among dude-bros as) swagger.
“Evening ladies, new to these parts? Come to see what a ‘real’ dragon is made of,” the purple one says as he starts flexing.
“Yeah, it’s pretty cold out, you all maybe want to come to our cave for some drinks?” says the big one wagging his eyebrows.
The three look disgusted.
“Oh, how brutish and forthcoming of you, you pigs,” says Rarity in disgust.
“You can’t try to hurt my little brother then try to be polite!” replies Twilight.
“Yeah, who the heck do you think you are? You think we’re stupid enough to go back to your cave? How dumb do you-” says Rainbow.
“We got Apple Cider we took from some swindling Unicorns,” the big one finishes.
“…On the other hoof, it is late and dehydration is a real issue to take into consideration,” says Rainbow.
You, Rarity, Twilight, and Spike all Facehoof and you can't help but mumble,
"I swear, she's worse than Berry Punch...."
Sighing, you listen back in to the conversation to hear Twilight say in frustration,
“Rainbow, No.”
“Seriously darling, you need help,” says Rarity.
“Hey, I can quit any time I want!” Rainbow Dash protests.
"Spoken like a true addict." you snark.
While the ponies argue, Garble pulls the other two back.
“Get back here, you morons. Seriously, I know it’s tough trying to impress females, but Ponies? Really?” he chides.
The other two put their heads down from being shamed.
“Alright guys, stop arguing,” orders Spike before turning back to Garble and proclaiming that taking on ponies is too much for him as you think,
OK, maybe Spike has bluffed them enough and I don’t have to get involved in any-
“RUN AWAY!” shouts Spike before running off, the girls following shortly.
“DANG IT SPIKE!” you shout in annoyance as the dragons give chase. In response, you and Crackle run after the group as the dragons fly, but they're going faster than you so you improvise by jumping onto Crackle's back to gain some speed. As you do, you see Twilight trying to summon a teleport and fail as the dragons start to close in. Seeing that they're about to get caught, you desperately manage to pull off a burst of Air Bending to launch yourself off Crackle before calling out, "Psycho Crusher!", causing you to spin-slam into all three dragons and knock them out of the sky.
As the four of you fall, you can't help but shout “GERONIMO!!!” before they land in a heap (breaking your fall as you execute a classic three-point landing on them).
The girls and Spike stop and look back in shock. You can't help but smirk at this as you think,
Oh yeah! Now THAT'S how you make an entrance-
*PUNCH*
Your thoughts are interrupted as a red scaly fist shoots out of the scale heap and slams into your face, sending you rolling to a stop between the two groups. You wipe off some blood from your lip as you think,
Dang! That guy can hit!
The dragons regain their balance and land safely in front of you. They give you a cold glare as you just smirk and say
"Alright," you tell the mares and Spike without taking your eyes off the dragons, "Get behind me and stay out of my way. As for you..." You glare into the overgrown lizards with glowing orange eyes, "I hope you scale-brains are ready for pain, cause if you mess with these ponies then you're gonna get it!"
"Pphht! Is this a joke?" One of the dragons snorts. "A little roach is gonna defeat us?"
"Hey guys," the big red one says. "Looks like it's time for another round of squash the bug!"
"Well, this bug don't squash that easy ya overgrown lizards!"
"The name's Garble you-" the red dragon says before you interrupt with,
"FUS RO DAH!!!"
Your roar of power send the dragons flying and smashing into a couple trees. You turn back to see... that the mares haven't moved a bit from their places. You roll your eyes in annoyance and yell,
"What are you waiting for? Run away!"
"We don't know who the heck you are!" Twilight says, "Why do you think we should trust you?"
"Oh, don't remember?" you say. "Maybe this will jog your memory."
You whip out your Nobody Cloak from the inventory, causing the group's eyes to widen in realization of who you are.
"Y-you," Twilight stammers.
"Hey!" The red dragon (who you now know as Garble) cries, as it picks itself off the ground, followed by its friends, "Don't ignore us! You may have a loud voice, but that doesn't mean you've got us beat! You're still just a lone cockroach!"
"Oh? Well then I guess I need an upgrade," you say. The wind whips around you and dark energy swirls through the scene as your body glows with energy, creating a blinding light. As you change into your Subject Delta armor, you mentally squeal.
Selena, are you doing this?
I always did have a flair for drama. An anime transformation sequence seemed appropriate.
We should do this more often you think as you continue to put on the Subject Delta armor. As you do Selena suddenly says,
Are you sure you can handle this? There are 4 dragon teens and 3 element bearers? I don't think the odds are on our side.
You can't help but sigh at this question as you think,
Relax Selena I can handle it.
Are you sure because there is a chance this could go down hill.
Selena, let me remind you of my history here: I have been on the run from the elements for a VERY long time and I have escaped from Twilight, her friends, and even Princess Sunbutt multiple times.
Yes I know but-
Also, the reason I can take these dudebros on is cause Spike is my friend. As for combat experience, I've taken on the princesses, the elements, Diamond Dogs, the Royal Guard, the Wonderbolts, comet-powered chupacabra, the god of chaos, and even a whole riot *shiver*. Besides, these ponies don't even have their elements with them and they need all six to fire that super Rainbow laser so I'm in the clear. At least I think that's how they work...
Selena sighs as she says,
Okay... I guess you win.
Yes! Score one for me! You mentally cheer before you realize something and think,
Wait, you're acting differently. You switch personalities?
Selena sighs again before she says,
We guess We have gotten to a stage where we have to look out for you and Nightshade because you are the only one that looks out for her and protects her. Also if things don't go so well, somepony else will have to look out for her. It might be a parenting thing but it's just a guess.
Well that's good... I think.
Before I forget, I'd advise you to control your temper so that- what do you call it? 'Nightmare Cloak' doesn't manifest.
You gain a confused expression as you ask,
Why not? I mean it happens on it's own when I get angry enough anyway. Aren't you normally the one encouraging me to unleash you in combat anyway? It would help me take these guys down alot faster.
You hear Selena sigh before she says,
We know that. But when you do go into it, you release a small part of my magic each time you transform or gain one of those fox tails.
And that's important because....
Dragons are very sensitive to magic, to them it's like a annoying fly that won't leave them alone. If you expel too much of my magic, there's a chance that some of the adult dragons might notice this and come to investigate what's going on.
You can't help but gulp at this, considering the fact you don't want a bunch of angry adult dragons trying to kill you, but you can't help but gain a look of confusion as you ask,
Wait, if that's true then how come Spike isn't annoyed all the time. He lives with Twilight, a unicorn, in a town full of ponies and magic. Don't you think he might have talked about it or something?
Selena makes a humming sound before she says,
Hmmmmm...it is quite possible that since the dragon was raised around ponies and their magic, he could have attained a tolerance to it.
You can't help but nod your head at this as you think,
That makes sense. So no Nightmare Cloak unless I want a hoard of adult dragons on my tail or an emergency. Let's hope I can keep my temper for once...
With that, you notice that the light is starting to fade so you put on the Nobody Cloak over your armor. You sigh before you say,
"Lets talk about this more when we get back home, OK?"
Okay.
With that said the light fades away, leaving you dressed in the Subject Delta armor and the Nobody Cloak over said armor. Everyone backs away from your sudden transformation. You smirk slightly as you open your mouth to say something when suddenly...
When you put on the "Subject Delta" armor, suddenly you hear a dinging noise and a message pops up: Congratulations! By finding and consuming most of the plasmids and vigors, you have unlocked the "Drill Slam" attack. Whirl the drill at full power and slam it into the ground to cause a tremor in the surrounding area that will briefly disorient any landborne enemies in the radius. Find ALL the plasmids and vigors to unlock a Super-Duper-Stupendous Surprise! Learned "Drill Slam" (only usable while wearing "Subject Delta" armor)
*ding*ding*ding*ding*
You look around in confusion as to where the dinging is coming from since it's not your "idea ding", when suddenly a message pops up on your Helmet that says,
Learned "Drill Slam" (only usable while wearing "Subject Delta" armor)
You look at the message in confusion as you think,
Huh, neat... Guess I can use this to fight these guys. Speaking of which...
You glare at the dragons and prepare to charge at them with the drill, when...
BrownDog's Comment
“Oh, what is this, Nightmare Night or something? Does this dork think he’s scary?” taunts Garble.
You turn your orange eyes (or rather, Eye because of the helmet port) towards him, “You will fear me punk...” you growl.
“Whatever loser, get out of our way so we can deal with Peewee and his little harem,”
“Oh why you insolent little…” starts Rarity.
“The three of you get the Buck out of here, I’ll deal with these punks.” you say to the ponies without taking your porthole off the dragon
“Why would you stay behind?” asks Rainbow Dash.
“Cause I’m saving Spike… aren't you?” you growl.
Twilight looks right at you with her confused expression.
“You are so confusing… but this isn't over Offender, not by a long shot,” she says as she charges up a teleport spell, but you hear Spike say, “Thank you,” before he disappears in a flash with the others.
Oh boy… I was just trying to sound tough. Didn't think they would actually listen to me... you mentally chide.
Fear not, these whelps are not match for us, as you said yourself Selena says.
You smirk as you think,
You're right...you smirk as you think before turning back towards the dragons with a glare. They glare back at you and it looks like neither side is about to give in to the other, neither side wanting to blink first and show weakness. This is gonna be the fight of the century-
A tumbleweed rolls between the two forces, causing to both sides to lose their bravado. Bugze: "Aww, that killed the mood." Garble: "Agreed" Bugze: *Sigh* "Well, let's just get this fight over with then..."Would you kindly GET OVER HERE!" Bugze uses the telekinesis plasmid to pull Garble over through the air. Bugze (in his head): I hope this works. Bugze: "Stalliongrad Blizzard!" Bugze: Sweet! It worked! Selena: Great. Here come the rest. Bugze: "Buck."
"Aww, that killed the mood." you say in a disappointment tone as you briefly drop your stance.
"Yeah."
"Bogus..."
You can't help but sigh as you say,
"*Sigh* Well, let's just get this fight over with then... Would you kindly GET OVER HERE!"
As you throw the Power Glove arm forward, pulling Garble towards you with Telekinesis. As he hurls towards you with a look of shock on his face, you smirk as you jump into the air (somehow with your heavy armor) and grab Garble with your Power Glove before saying,
"STALLIONGRAD BL- Wait, Buck, I did the move wrong! Um... IMPROVISE!!!"
With that you put Garble in piledriver position instead and call out,
As you both spin in the air and slam the red dragon headfirst into the ground. As you jump off the dragon's body, you see the cracks in the ground around his head and smirk as you think,
Sweet! Not what I wanted to do, but still awesome!
Congratulations. Here come the rest.
You look up to see the two other dragons coming at you with intent to maim. Your shoulders sag as you say,
Take out the "Num-chucks" and try to reenact Baise Lee's nunchaku scene from Game of Death (which, while decent, did noticeably suffer from the legend's premature death) only to keep accidentally hitting yourself in the face with them (it also didn't help that one arm was occupied with a drill and the nunchaku started beeping for some reason). Eventually you give up and hurl them at the dragons in frustration only for it to miss. They start taunting you for your terrible aim only for the num-chucks to explode with the force for the blast knocking the dragons into various hard objects.
Quickly whip out the "Orange Num-chucks" from the Inventory with a cry of "WA-TAAAAAH!" as the force and speed of your pull causes the nunchaku to slam the dragons in the face briefly stunning them. Seizing the opportunity, you quickly turn and buck the dragons in the chest with a cry of "WOOOO!" the added weight of the Big Daddy armor helping to knock them back towards the (still downed) Garble.
As you turn to face them again, you get a big smile on your face as you start to hop around like Baise Lee with nunchaku in glove and proclaim,
"Aw yeah! Enter the dragons, exit the bug!"
With that, you attempt to reenact Baise Lee's nunchaku scene from Game of Death (which, while decent, did noticeably suffer from the legend's premature death) except it turns out to be... a little harder than it looks-
"WA-TAH-*bonk* Dang it. WOO-*bonk bonk bonk* Ow. HIYAH-*drop* Oh come on!"
Ok, maybe ALOT harder than it looks (plus it also didn't help that one arm was occupied with a drill and the nunchaku started beeping for some reason) and the dragons are starting to get back up during your awkward display. Eventually, you give up and throw the "num-chucks" at the dragons in frustration, but it completely misses all three of the dragons and lands behind them. Garble notices this and taunts,
"Hah! You missed you stupid bas- *KA-BOOM!*"
Suddenly, the nunchaku explode* and send all three dragons flying over your head and slam into various trees behind you, but you don't notice as you stare at where the explosion was and can only blink in surprise as you comment,
"Well... That happened. I guess these guys weren't so tough after al-*smash*"
Your sentence is cut off as you get smashed into a nearby wall. You shake it off and look back to see that Garble has recovered first and he's mad as heck. He's friends seem to recover too as they get up from where they crashed and charge at you via the air. You try to dodge their air attack, but...
In your Delta suit though, you are severely limited in speed, so you take your fair share of abuse, but when you do hit them, they feel it.
Your suit makes movement slower and more cumbersome so the dragons are raining hits on you, but fortunately the suit's armor and that 'Armored Shell' tonic you've consumed back in Fillydelphia greatly softens their blows. Your anger getting the best of you, you whirl the drill and attempt to impale the purple one in the face with it, but he dodges it and the drill gets stuck in the rock behind him. As you attempt to dislodge the drill, *WHAM crack* the purple and fat ones tackle into you with enough force to break off the tip of the drill still embedded in the rock. You find yourself with the purple one holding down your arms and the fat one holding down your legs. As you lay on the ground trying to get up and cursing your armor for being so dang heavy, you see Garble pick up a nearby boulder. You can only stare in horror as he's about to smash it down on you when...
At one point, you even get assistance from Crackle who tackles the Big One and knocks him out when he tries to smash your head in with a boulder.
Crackle jumps in the way and tackles Garble, which causes the boulder he was holding to go flying and shatter on the fat one's head knocking him over. Using this opportunity, you notice that the purple one is holding your drill arm down by the drill so you activate it causing him to let out a cry of pain as the drill tears his claw a bit, causing him to scramble off you before you get back up and proclaim,
"Would you kindly FREEZE!" and freeze the purple one's head in a layer of ice and causing him to stumble before charging forward with a Big Daddy roar and slamming your drill into his ice-head, shattering the ice off of him and knocking him into the (still recovering) fat one (causing him to un-recover briefly).
Garble looks shocked and confused as he tries to get to you, but Crackle keeps mirroring his movements, effectively creating a moving wall to keep them from getting to you while you recover.
"Crackle, what the- Get out of the way!" The Garble says as he tries to get around her. "Is this about our break-up? I told you we should see other dragons, and this is why! Stay out of my life!"
"Dude, just shove her out of the way!" one of his friends tells him.
"I can't! My old man says I can't hit girl dragons..." Garble says with a defeated groan.
Oh so he's fine with child murder, and unborn child murder, but he won't hit girls. Selena comments with (what you assume to be) a roll of her eyes.
You can't help but snicker at this as you say,
And what if some colt pushed Nightshade off the swing set?
Ha! I might ask you the same.
Oh, I imagine I would do something like this...
With that, you charge up Crackle's tail, run along her back, and jump off her head with a cry of, “STOP!”
Garble briefly stops and looks up at you in midair as you pull out the "Metallic Mallet" and yell,
“HAMMERTIME!”
Before bringing down the hammer as hard as you can onto Garble's skull, knocking him down. As little imaginary phoenixes circle around Garble's head, you notice the hammer cracking! You can't help but give an annoyed grunt as you mutter,
"Figures this fake was made of some cheap metal that could break easy! Better stop using it now before it completely shatters."
With that thought you put the hammer back into the Inventory. While the dragons are trying to regain their balance you run (trot really, heavy armor) back over to Crackle as you say,
“Thanks Crack! Here, get in my saddle bags and you’ll be safer!” “Blarg!” she answers as she jumps into your bag. “Did you just add a dragon to the inventory!?” shouts Selena “Eyup! It’s the best plan ever!” You then hear crashing from inside your bag. “OK, maybe not the best, but still pretty cool.”
“Thanks Crackle! Here, get in my saddle bags and you’ll be safer!”
“Blarg!” she answers as she jumps into your bag.
Did... Did you just add a dragon to The Inventory!? Selena exclaims in confusion.
“Eyup! It’s the best plan ever!”
You then hear crashing from inside your bag.
“OK... maybe not the best, but still pretty cool.”
"Crackle the Dragon" added to Inventory
With that out of the way, you turn ready to finish off the dragons only...
They’re other two buddies show up to the fight
*WHAM*
To get a trio of tails whipped into your helmeted face with enough force to send you smashing through a tree. You manage to stumble back to your feet and look back up in shock to see three new dragons staring you down (a white one with pinkish scales, a fat-ish purple one, and a skinny black one with greenish scales). Looking behind them you can see the other two dragons helping Garble up and heading your way. You gulp in fear slightly as you think,
Buck! Reinforcements! And how bucking strong are dragon tails!
*ding*
Suddenly an idea comes to mind and you get an insane grin beneath your helmet as you yell,
"WOULD YOU KINDLY, BURN MOTHERBUCKERS! BURN!" and rapidly start pointing and snapping your Power Glove at everything setting trees and bushes ablaze... but the dragons are completely unaffected, the others just looking confused while Garble merely raises an eyebrow at you, amused at your actions. Somewhere in the back of your head, you can hear Selena facehoofing and muttering,
Why do I even bother?
Wait.... They're dragons so they're fireproof! How could I bucking forget that!? you mentally berate yourself
"Hey! How dumb are you? Trying to set us on fire?" Garble sneers.
"Yeah! How dumb are you!?" another dragon mimics.
Their taunting gives you flashbacks to your bullying back in the Hive, angering you further and you're about to charge at them when *crash* a large burning tree trunk lands in front of you. Glancing back and forth from the tree in front of you and the approaching dragons *ding*, an idea forms in your mind. They can't see you smirk since you're in armor, but they mistake your idleness as an opening and slowly begin to approach you. Before any one of them could attack, you decide to put your plan into action,
"Hey! I bet I can take all you limp-horned jerks on!" You taunt, hoping that the numbskulls will take the bait.
"WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY HORN!!!" they yell in response (it seems that dragons really are hotheaded, no offense meant to Spike) "YOU'RE DEAD BUG!!!!" The six dudebro dragons yell as they jump into the air and fly towards you with murder in their eyes.
Activating your Telekinesis plasmid, you shout, "Would you kindly FLOAT!"
You telekinetically lift the burning trunk on the ground at just the right time *CRASH* to send the burning tree truck shattering against their family jewels causing them also to cry out in pain in high-pitched tones,
"Yeah! Trip- I mean Quad- I mean, Buck it- MULTI-NUTSHOT!!!" you cheer as the dragons writhe on the ground in pain.
Commendable, but now we're up against a half-dozen dragons who will understandably be enraged as soon as soon as they recover.
"Good point." you reply, "But I got just the thing..."
With that said, you pull out,
Also, down with the Bucking Bronco. It tastes like Pico de gallo hot sauce, the kind you used to have in Appleloosa, and it’s spicy! You feel your body react as if you are being trampled by a stampede of horses…again. When it subsides, you have a new weapon to your arsenal.
The Bucking Bronco vigor bottle. As the dragons slowly recover from your low multi-blow, you take off the top of the bottle and shove the end of it into the hole you drilled into your helmet on Nightmare Night in order to drink. When you finish drinking it, you think,
Odd... The bottle said "Earthy Apple CInnamon", but it tastes like that "Pico de gallo hot sauce" in Appleloos-urk!
After consuming and using the "Bucking Bronco" vigor, another message pops up claiming you can combine plasmids and vigors for some unique attacks (doesn't tell you what the combos are saying you should experiment).
This message pops up on your porthole,
Congratulations! You have found the last vigor! This has unlocked a new mode for your vigor/plasmid dispenser called "Mix Up Smash!" This mode allows you to use two vigors or plasmids at once for combo attacks! But be warned, using this mode 3-4 times in a short period of time will result in the Plasmid/Vigor Glove shutting down for recharge time!
And don't forget, there's still 1 more plasmid out there! Find that and you will gain the ultimate super surprise!
You stare at the screen as you think outloud,
"Cool, but how the hay do I activate this mode? Would you kindly mix it up-Woah!"
"Now that's what I'm talkin bout!" you say in nerdy glee as you awkwardly use the tip of your drill (you would have been cheesed off at seeing that the tip of your drill has been broken off, but you're too busy playing with your new toy to notice) to move the dials so they show the symbols for "Insect Swarm" and "Electro Bolt" *WHAM* when you feel three weights slam into you.
You find yourself on the ground being held down by the three new dragons as you say in annoyed dread,
"Not again..."
You smirk and say, "Perhaps y'all get a BUZZ out of this!"
Before he, the skinny purple dragon, and the brown fat dragon all zip away, but the other three holding you down are instead entranced by the twittermites.
"Woah..." the white one with pinkish scales says as the Twittermites circle around them in a storm-cloud-like cluster.
"Dude, this may be the mushrooms talking, but I am REALLY glad you gave us those mushrooms." the fat-ish purple one says to the skinny black one who is about to respond when the Twittermites all unleash a powerful electrical discharge that electrocutes the three dudebro dragons (fortunately, since you're commanding these little guys, their attack doesn't effect you).
As you get back up, the Twittermites dissipate and you see that the three dragons are standing there with cartoonishly-ashed faces as they twitch with little electric shocks. With a smug smile on your face, you gently push each of the dragons with one finger causing them to all fall over. Half in one go. This is gonna be easier than I thought...
*WHAM*
You feel yourself reel from another hit and see that those three dragons are back...
-Attempt to burrow into the ground with your drill and strike the dragons from below. Realize how non-realistic an attack that is.
*ding*
Struck with sudden inspiration, you activate Drill Slam which disorients the three dragons, but you keep the drill against the ground in order to burrow your way down.
That's how you know it's working! you mentally reply as you hook left when you've dug a dozen feet (3.65 Meters for those of you on the metric system) down before pulling out the Inventory.
"Now, when they come down, I blow them up with a combination of my harpoon, hose, and air pump!"
You pull out the Doctor's notebook and pen. Then your copy of "Kung-Fu for Dummies." You go "Aw" for a moment when you retrieve Nightshade's crayon drawing of you. After a few other things which all not useful to you at all at this moment, you ask one question,
"HOW DO I NOT HAVE A HARPOON, HOSE, OR AIR PUMP?!"
A torrent of fire down the pit cuts off any snark Selena might have had, but fortunately the Nobody Coat is fireproof so you drill forward and up...
ON THE SURFACE
We see the trio of dudebro dragons unleashing torrents of flame down into the hole where you were before stopping.
"Think we got him?" the fat brown dragon asks.
"Got him?" Garble scoffs and responds, "We ROASTED that cockr-"
Your staff and slam it against both their faces sending them reeling back.
"See this here?" You declare as you held up you staff. "THIS... is my BOOM STICK!"
"This has survived my every bucking encounter, the might of my hooves whenever I slam it, and the enemy whenever I whack their heads with it. It's powerful enough to cause the collapse of HUNDREDS, everlasting to live across the years in THOUSANDS and speak TRUTH loud enough to be heard by MILLIONS!" You twirled the staff in a dramatic fashion. "You can't bucking touch th-*wham*!"
Suddenly you get punched in the helmet again and are sent reeling.
"Who cares?" Garble replies as he descends from that punch he gave you, "That twig doesn't scare us! What? You think a DRAGON'S scales would let something like that even make scratch?"
"OI! I WASN'T FINISHED!" you yell before using your Drill Slam attack again to disorient/stumble the teen dragons.
"Maybe you guys didn't hear me. Or maybe you need a more detailed of this baby. Cause you see ya primative lizard heads..."
The dragons evidently don't got it, as they charge you again to which you smirk before declaring,
"YOU. SHALL NOT! PASS!!!" before slamming the staff into the ground causing trees to bend at the sheer force of the Boomstick's cry as the battlefield shakes. You smirk and comment,
"Guess they get it no- *wham*"
Suddenly you feel yourself getting knocked into the air (apparently, the drakes dug their foot claws into the ground tight enough so that they would remain decently stable enough to recover fast). As the trio of dragons continue circling back up with a unrelenting series of hits to keep you juggling helplessly in the air.
Perhaps you could leave yourself less open to attack if you wouldn't keep making all these long-winded references! Selena snarks in your head
Okay okay! In the future I'll keep the references brief! Now if only I had an anti-air tech-
*ding*
Perform the Stalliongrad Blizzard on the fat one after being knocked into the air
"SSSSSTAAAALIOOOOOOONGRAAAAD!" you began as you continue to spin upward to the utter bewilderment of any creature watching (especially Twilight, who's been hiding in a bush watching the fight, screams "NO! NO DANGIT, THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!" as she pulls chunks of her mane out at your complete disregard for the laws of physics)
When you reach the height of your assent, you begin to spin in place as you tossed the fat dragon spinning above your head and then catch him again this time with the dragon's legs tucked under your front limbs and placing your back hooves on the dragon's arms so that your foe was looking straight down.
The fat dragon begins to whimper, but you don't hear (or care) as the two of you begin to spin towards the ground at incredible speeds while you yelled out,
"BBBBBBBLLLLLLIIIIIIIZZZZZAAAAAAARRRDDDD!"
And slam him into the ground head-spinning-first with enough force to cause another shockwave that knocks down damaged trees and can be heard far away. When you jump back from the attack, you see that the Fat Brown dragon has been embedded into the ground with only the area above his waist sticking/twitching out of the ground as you squee,
"THAT WAS BUCKING AWESOME! Now where are those other two flankho-"
Suddenly you feel yourself being lifted from behind and thrown facefirst into a rock when you recover, you see the purple dragon enraged as he yells,
"You're gonna pay for what you did to my bros from another mo you chump!"
"Wait... chump?" you say as you get a flashback...
ONE CHAPTER AGO
You suddenly feel a pair of claws clamp on you shoulders and roughly dragged to your feet. You see a bipedal dragon with purple scales and yellow hair obscuring his eyes standing in front of you, crossing his arms after he lets go of you,
"Dragons only, chump. Back down the mountain with you."
"Back down?! After what I put up with on my way up?! Look, I'm not even here to bother you. I just want to keep an eye on-"
"This is our mountain now. We make the rules." He smirks at you, "And my rule is that non-dragons go back down the mountain. The easy way or the hard way."
BACK TO THIS CHAPTER
"I remember you now... You're the jerk who threw me off the cliff!"
"What about it?!" the dragon yells as he charges at you for another punch, but you just throw your Power Glove hoof forward with a cry of,
"Would you kindly BUCK OFF!", causing a small quake to go forward before erupting under the dragon and suspending him in the air. As the dragon flails helplessly in suspension, you taunt,
"What was that you said before? Oh yeah; 'The easy way or the hard way'?"
"SCREW YOU YA BUCKING COCKROACH!" he yells in defiance.
"Poor choice of words." you say a bit cheerfully before...
Falcon Punch him in the nards with your drill (while the sharp tip just misses his family jewels, he still takes the painful enflamed brunt of the blunt parts of the drill)
"FALCON PUNCH!" you cry as your flame-encased dulled drill arm explodes forwards and slams into the purple dragon's nards, knocking him to the ground. Before he could cradle his wounded manhood, you jumped forward with a cry of,
"NO SHADOW KICK!"
And rain a flurry of downward armored kicks (made even more painful/damaging by your heavy armor) on his nards.* When your assault is finished, the dragon has a single tear in his eye as his mouth is stuck open in a pained silent scream. You chuckle at this for a few moments before bringing your drill arm up,and then letting out a Big Daddy roar/moan as you forcefully send the side of your drill smashing onto his face to knock him out. You stop to admire your hoofy work when you're suddenly punched (Again?) into the cliff wall. You grunt as...
An enraged Garble corners you, and unleashes a big stream of fire from his mouth,
Moron... I'm even more invincible to fire than he is thanks to my N-
Your mental taunting is interrupted when Garble flies forward, grabs you, drags you face-first along the ground, and then viciously smashes you face-first into a cliff wall finally causing your helmet to shatter under your hood. Garble then pulls back your hood to slam you into the ground, grabs you by the shoulders before you can recover, and lifts you so that your exposed face is facing him.
"Looks like we can finally get to the 'Squash' part of 'Squash the Bug,'" he grins cruelly. Suddenly Spike leaps out and delcares,
"NO! You're not going to hurt me, my friends, or my hero. I'm going to stop you here and now!"
"Spike, no!"
"SPIKEY-WIKEY!"
Twilight and Rarity scream as they struggle against Rainbow Dash trying to hold them both back in concern. Twilight tries to teleport over, but before she can, Garble roughly drops you and sprays fire in her direction forcing the unicorn to shield herself and her firends.
You stare wide eye at this as you think,
What the buck are they doing back here!? Why can't these mares just listen to me for once and NOT put themselves in danger!
Before you can continue this thought, Garble glares at Spike before unleashing a great blaze of orange fire at the young dragon. The little dragon responds with a burst of green fire, and the two dragons' fire breaths impact, like two beams of energy, each fighting to be stronger, neither succeeding. As Spike fights to protect you, you frantically feel and check your face for any injuries. Feeling nothing out of the ordinary, you quickly put your hood back up and turn to Spike, who seems to be quickly running out of steam.
Spike can't keep this up much longer. He's running out of breath and as such, Garble's fire breath inches ever closer.
Is... Is this my limit? he thinks.
"Would you kindly BUCK OFF!!!"
Activating the Bucking Bronco, you send forth a small quake that flings Garble up into the air, suspending him up high and cutting off his attack. Spike turns with wide eyes to see you standing in a battle stance, drill at the ready as you say,
"Don't give up! Spike!"
"It can't be!" Spike cries. "The Hooded Offender-san!"
"San?" Twilight asks from within her shield bubble. "Where did that come from?"
"If you give up, it's all over!" you cry. Hefting up your drill, you say. "Did you forget? This drill is the drill that will pierce the heavens!"
Alright Selena, time to do 'that!' you mentally cry.
That? Bugze, I legitimately have no idea what's going on except that it's somehow quickly spiraling out of control.
"The two paths between pony and beast," you whisper dramatically. "Intertwine, to-"
What did we say about long-winded references?
No! This is too awesome of a reference to pass up! you counter before you continue,
"Piercing destiny as yesterday's enemies, creating a new path towards the future with these hooves!"you declare as you rev up your drill,
"THE UNION OF FATE! GURREN-LAGAAN!" you cry as you chrarge towards the suspended dragon at breakneck speeds, before leaping into the air, right in front of him.
"WHO THE BUCK DO YOU THINK I AM?!" you scream as you slam your drill into his face with massive force, sending him crashing into the ground with enough force to leave a crater as you land atop his downed body like a badflank and you sparkle like an anime character.
"What the buck is going on!" Twilight screams in response to this defiance of logic.
You give a sigh of relief before you glare down at Garble who defiantly (yet weakly) says,
"Why... can't you just stay still so I could squash you like those other bugs!"
*snap* Your eyes glowing orange in rage, you whirl up your drill at full speed and perform the Drill Slam attack as you slam the dulled drill down on his back, viciously breaking his wing causing the bully to scream in agony. You hear the ponies (and Spike) gasp in horrified shock at this as Rainbow Dash exclaims,
"Oww… Why the wing!" as she cradles her wing in sympathy pain.
After your assault, you glare down at the wounded whimpering dudebro before you...
The tension is high as Smaug, the fierce dragon of Lonely Mountain (the actual name of the volcano you now find yourself on), stares you down as you hold his now beaten son. You feel his eyes baring into your soul, and all you can do is quack in your outfit (Hooded Offender coat over your Subject Delta costume) gulp in fear as you think,
Okay Bugze... you just beat the snot out of Smaug's kid. If how I act when Nightshade is in danger is any indication... I'm bucked.
With that thought in mind and the slowly approaching dragon, you make a very brave and not stupid decision...
You quickly get behind Garble and hold the drill up to his throat as you begin to sweat nervously.
"Alright Smaug, let's just calm down here and think this through alright, heh heh ," you stammer.
"Think this through? THINK THIS THROUGH?!!!" he roars causing you to flinch.
"First you scar my eye when I was just trying to scare some stupid ponies for ruining my nap! Then you tried to steal my treasure and made me fight a hydra, ruining my nap again! Now I find you with my treasure once again, but now you're trying to kill my son! WHAT IN THE HOLY NAME OF HELLFIRE MAKES YOU THINK I'M GOING TO THINK THIS THROUGH?!!! AND YOU RUINED ANOTHER ONE OF MY BUCKING NAPS!!!!" he roars as he slams a claw angrily on the ground causing the earth to shake.
Wow. With the points he brings up, you DO sound like a monster. Selena comments.
"Eeep!" you cry as you start whirring the drill in front of Garble's throat in fear!
"Alright, b-back the buck up! Or the Brat get's it!" you fearfully say, trying to sound tough.
Fool! What do you think you can accomplish by provoking this dragon even further by taking his offspring as a hostage!
You ignore Selena's comment as you focus on Smaug to see if your bluff worked. It seems to work as Smaug stops his walk towards you. You give a small sign of relief as you think in a panicked tone,
OK, think Bugze think! There's no way anyone will buy this for long. This drill isn't even powerful enough to get through dragon scales! Oh Dear Luna, what the buck am I gonna do?!
The girls and Spike look at you in shock as Garble starts crying again. Smaug especially seems off put by this,
"Y-you wouldn't," he stammers.
"Seriously they all bought that? I-I mean, yeah, I totally will because I am on the edge and deranged, and a full fledged Dragon Slayer!" you lie.
"Daaadddyyy!!!!" Garble starts bawling again.
"Oh Quit your blubbering, it's not like this thing can actually pierce your skin. If it could, you dudebros would be salsa by now." you mutter to him.
"Wait, really? HEY DA-"
You quickly clamp Garble's mouth with the Power Glove and rapidly say
"Would You Kindly Freeze!"freezing the alpha dudebro's jaw shut so he can't reveal your bluff.
You hear a smacking sound in your head as Selena yells,
WHY DID YOU SAY THAT YOU IDIOT! Now that brat just has to breath fire and open his yap and we're finished!
Your eye twitches in annoyance at this as you think back,
Thanks for stating the obvious Selena! And it just slipped out! I didn't mean to-
Your conversation with the being in your head is interrupted when Smaug growls and says,
"You Miserable Little..." but stops when you put your drill back up.
"OK Smaug, right now we are going to negotiate!"
"Negotiate?" asks Smaug,Twilight, and the rest confused.
Really... need I remind you the last time you tried to negotiate with a hostage you were set on fire.
Oi! It was those stupid Diamond Dog minions that made it go south! This time noling will mess it up! Now let me show you how awesome my negotiating skills are!
"That's right, I am going to take my hostage with me, and when we are far enough away, I'll release him back to you! All we ask is safe passage and no death by squashing, incineration, or consumption, not necessarily in that order"
"What makes you think I can trust a thief like you?!" he says looking at you all.
You glow your eyes at him and Smaug tenses.
"Because you don't have a choice!" you growl.
"Umm... We're not with him, so yeah, we don't agree to this," stammers Twilight as she, the girls, and Spike start walking away backwards.
Your eye twitches slightly as this as you think in annoyance,
Of course you're not with me. That's why you came back even through I told you all to run. You're totally not with me...
You then realize that the ponies are still here, which causes you to turn your head towards them and yell,
"WHY THE BUCK ARE YOU FOUR STILL HERE!?!"
Do those fools have ANY instinct for self-preservation?!
You snort at this and think,
I doubt it. It's like they were born in a peaceful environment with no problems or chaos to make them have one... Oh wait. They did grow up in that environment!
You shrug off that train of thought and wait for the ponies response, but before they can answer your question you hear Smaug grumble. You make a 'eep' sound as you turn back around to see Smaug look at Garble with tears rolling down his cheeks and then back to you. He glares at you with pure hatred before he says in a quiet voice (for a dragon at least),
"Fine, just don't hurt the boy anymore than you already have. But I swear to you thief, I will kill you one day,"
The others breathe a sigh of relief, and you can't believe you've actually pulled it off.
I can't believe this worked! I've never been able to bluff this well before. I could get anything from Smaug right now and he would agree... to... anything...
...Don't you even think about it you id-
You cut off Selena's comment as you use your new found confidence to push your nonexistent luck.
"Also, I want half your treasure right now!"
"WHAT?!" Cries Smaug, the girls, Spike, Selena, and even Garble (muffled from beneath your glove).
"You heard me! Give me the money, let's call it payment for damages your son and his friends caused me."
Taking advantage of yours and Smaug's impromptu music number, Garble back-kicks you in the groin and runs off back to his dad, clutching his broken wing. You fall to the ground as you hold your nards in pain (the armor protected you, but dragons are pretty strong and a nutshot is a nutshot) as you think,
Little cheap-shotting motherbucker...
After Smaug hugs and inspects him, he turns to you with a glare of pure rage as he roars,
"ALRIGHT LITTLE THIEF! TIME TO DIE!!!"
You gulp slightly as Smaug takes off at you with a running start with intent to kill.
You have no one to blame but yourself! chides Selena
Not now Selena! Curse my cocky personality! you think.
Thinking quickly you...
Kersey's Comment
"Would yo kindly mix it up!"
Activate "Mix Up Smash" and you desperately start scrolling the dials for a good combo. You're about to dodge when you see those gorram ponies are STILL BEHIND YOU!
Why can't these bucking idiots take a hint! you think in annoyance.
With a defeated sigh (and the dials on "Winter Blast" and "Electro Bolt") you just walk forward towards the incoming Smaug. Rainbow looks at the dragon in worry, obviously remembering her previous encounters with the dragon, before she looks at you and says,
Here goes nothing! you think as you turn back around to face the incoming Smaug and call out,
"FALCON PUNCH!"
Except instead of your normal orange flame, the drill gets covered in super-dense ice that shatters on impact with Smaug's face and lets out a large electric shock that sends Smaug tumbling over your head and smashing onto the ground behind you and the ponies, shaking the earth as he impacts.
You and the ponies (and dragons) can only gape in shock as you think,
Did... Did I just Saddle Rager a bucking dragon!
Before you can reflect on this further, Smaug starts to get back up as he growls in anger. The ponies and Spike take this as their que to run as they get out of the way of the angry dragon. When Smaug finally gets back up he glares at you and shouts,
"YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR THAT, LITTLE THIEF!"
"Tear him apart dad!" Garble cheers from a distance.
You gulp at this and quickly put your hoof into The Inventory for anything you can use as a blunt weapon. You smirk slightly when you grab something and you pull out...
Mind's Eye's Comment
The damaged Metallic Mallet. When Smaug sees it, he snorts,
"And you wonder why I don't like thieves taking my stuff. You break it!"
"Do you want it back? I'm fine with that." You swing it in circles over your head as you gain a idea. You smirk slightly as you say,
"Keep your eye on the birdie!"
Smaug gives you a cocky look as he says,
"And just what are you planning to do with that, little thief?"
Your smirk turns into a full grown grin as you shout,
A jolt from the Power Glove strikes the hammer and engulfs it in lightning just as you let it fly.
Smaug's eyes open wide as he comments,
"What in the nine hells-*tok*"
The hammer hits his mouth and gets lodged between two of his teeth. Before he can do anything else, the electricity courses through his saliva, causing his head to spasm from internal electric shocks until he crashes to the ground, shaking the earth as the hammer tumbles out of his mouth.
All of you stand there in shocked silence as nopony/drake/ling says a word.
Did... did you just knock out a dragon in one shot? Again?
Sweet Luna, I think I knocked out a dragon in one shot.
You look at the dragons, the ponies, and back to Smaug, lying motionless. This situation calls for only one reaction.
"SUCK IT, JABRONI! HA HA!" You swagger up to giant lizard. "Look at you! I mean, look at you! You thought you could take ME?! The Hooded Offender, scourge of Appleloosa, crasher of Galas, and too many other things that I would have to think of right now?"
You pick up the mallet and see that it has even more cracks on it then before, and you can only guess that'll last one more hit before it breaks into pieces, but you don't care right now, you just one-shoted a dragon! You jump on top of Smaug's head and pose in front of the ponies and other dragons (Spike and Garble) with the cracked hammer on your shoulder.
"Who's the bug?! WHO'S THE BUG?!" You pound a hoof on one of Smaug's eyes. "Mess with the bull, you get the horns! Only I'm not a bull, and my horn is pretty small relatively speaking, but whatever! I took out a dragon in one shot!"
You swing your hoof down to pound him again, and the eye snaps open, freezing you in place.
"Good, because you won't get another."
Smaug stands back up and whips his head back and forth, you shrieking and hanging on for dear life as long as you can. Your hold for dear life loosens and you eventually lose your grip and are flung backwards onto Smaug's back. The shaking stops long enough for you to stabilize yourself so you slowly get back up as you hold your head and think,
Oh... I think I'm gonna be sick. It feels like my stomach wants to jump outta my mouth.
You get rid of these thoughts and try to get off Smaug's back, but you are stopped when you see him staring right at you. You gulp slightly and he just snorts before he takes off causing you to hold on. You then see that he's headin towards a volcano!
OH BUCK! HE'S GONNA MELT ME!!! What do I do?! WHATDOIDO-*ding*
Kersey's Comment
Remembering a scene from one of your favorite movies, you run up Smaug's back and take the Metalllic Mallet off your shoulder and hold it in your Power Glove and you declare,
"Would you kindly FEEL HEAVEN'S WRATH!"
This declaration channels lightning through the hammer before you bring the mallet down on Smaug's head, shattering the hammer but also shocking Smaug and making him crash down in the forest and tear through several trees.
You stumble off Smaug's head and onto the ground sluggishly as you drop the handle that used to have the hammer on it. You give a couple of deep breaths before you say to yourself,
"Luna, That was WAY too close! One more 'Mix Up' and my Power GLove will power down for recharge. Hopefully that last attack took him dow-*SLAM*"
Your thought is interrupted when a massive red fist hits you dead on, sending you on a screaming flight before your body hits and bounces off the ground a couple of times and smashes through a tree. While your armor took most of the impact, it's starting to crack! But you don't notice this as you finally slam into the ground one more time and roll a good few feet before coming to a stop. You slowly get up and say,
"I just... had to... say that. Curse you lady lu-"
"He's over there dad!"
Your sentence is interrupted when...
Qwazer's Comment
Smaug crashes down right in front of you and grabs you in his powerful grip before you could do anything. Panic snaps you out of your trance as you feel an increasing pressure from all sides. He holds you in front of his face; streams of smoke oozing from his nostrils, anger is all you can see in those piercing eyes.
"This is for trespassing into my cave, Little Pig!" He declares as he rears his claw back and smashes you into the ground.
Luckily your Delta armor took the brunt of the blow, but you don't know how much longer it'll withstand in the fight, not to mention against the might of a fully-grown pissed off dragon. Plus you hear metallic cracking, and you know that can't be a good sign...
Smaug rears his claw back again and continues, "Disturbing my slumber!" *THUMP* *CRACK* "Stealing from my hoard!" *THUMP* *CRACK* "AND FOR HURTING!" *THUMP* *CRACK* "MY!" *THUMP* *CRACK* "SON!" *THUMP* *SHATTER*
By now, you've lost count as to how many times you've been beaten into the ground (keeping consciousness was a priority after all), but sadly for you your Big Daddy Armor couldn't take anymore of the abuse it was taking, and it has shattered. You don't notice this as you try to stay conscious.
Just don't think of what would happen if I were to fall unconscious.
Retaliate you simpleton!
Listening to Selena's advice, you take a deep breath and yell, "WOULD YOU KINDLY SPARK!" causing an arc of lightning fill your vision and you can feel Smaug's grip loosen slightly from the shock, but he roars,
"ENOUGH WITH THE SPARKS!!!"
It's still not enough!
No need to point out the obvious!
You shift your body into a position so that you could have enough space to perform your next move. You yell in determined rage as you whirl your drill, tearing up the flesh of the inside of Smaug' grip, causing the dragon to yell in pain as he finally lets go of you.
You fall to the ground in a lump as pieces of the Big Daddy Armor fall from the sleeves and hood of your Nobody Coat around you. You growl slightly at this as your eyes glow orange when you see the pieces of your once cool armor surround. You can't help but say in anger as you slowly get up,
"That motherbucker just ruined one of the nerdiest fancolt things I have ever had the pleasure to own. Big Daddy armor you will be missed... *snap* AND AVENGED!"
But before you can live up to this thought, suddenly Smaug grabs you again. Even with your Armor Shell plasmid, without your armor you can feel your insides being squished from his grip and you cough up some green blood. Smaug lifts you up to eye level and says,
"Now to finish you off, little thief"
BrownDog's Comment
"You know, back on that mountain, I wasn't even going to hurt those stupid Pony Pests even if the rainbow one hit me in the face! All I wanted was some piece and quiet, but you ruined that!"
"Oh well... buck," you mutter to yourself.
"But now you'll finally be gone!" he says as he opens his jaws to eat you.
In desperation, you cry out,
"Would you kindly burn!"
Fortunately, your Power Glove was sticking out between his fingers so his eyelashes are set on fire causing him to drop you as he brings hsi claws to his face and roars in pain,
"Graaagghhh!!! AGAIN WITH THE BUCKING EYE?!"*
Luckily, Rainbow Dash catches you and flies off with you, joining the other girls and spike as they run away...
"I told you guys to leave already!"
"We can't just leave you to be eaten!" shouts Spike.
"They're getting away!" Garble yells from the ground
"GET BACK HERE!" Roars Smaug as he takes off and flies towards you all, the wind from his wings causing even Rainbow Dash to falter. Noticing that he;s catching up, you desperately manage to use a burst of Air Bending to give them all a speed boost... but unfortunately you were propelled backwards and pushing them forward causes them all to smack face first into rocks, knocking everypony (except Spike and Twilight) out. Seeing this makes you realize/say,
"Buck! I have to get them outta here! But how... *ding* Oh for the love-, CRACKLE!!!" you shout.
"Blarg?" she says as she sticks her head out of the Inventory
When she does this, you see Twilight's eye twitch uncontrollably before she shouts,
Kropsling66 comment
"WHA- THAT IS LOGICALLY IMPOSSIBLE!!!"
Ignoring her outburst, you look back over to Crackle and say,
"Listen, I know we only just met and all, but you're a really good friend,"
She smiles at that as you continue,
"So please, can you get the girls and Spike back to Ponyville safely? I'd really appreciate it."
"Honk?" she asks.
"Yeah, I'm sure I'll see you again," you say as you pat her head.
"Blarg Honk Blarg!" she groans as she licks your head and rushes over to the downed ponies. She places them on her back along with Spike and flies off. As she flies away you can see Spike and Twilight looking back at you. One was with concern, the other was with a mix of concern and suspicion (guess which look belonged to which pony/dragon) as you think,
With them out of the way, I can FINALLY continue fighting Smaug prope... *smack*
You are immediately backhanded by Smaug into a nearby mountain with enough force to push you through the rock and into a cave. You cough up some blood as you get up and look around the cave you were just smashed into. Your eyes widen in shock when you see...
While fighting you get smashed into a cave full of abondoned mining explosives. An image of Michael Bay says, "You know what to do," before vanishing.
That you are in what looks like a abandoned mining cave, but what really is surprising is that it's chalk-full of mining explosives. You can't believe how many there are, and you're really glad that you don't have a match, when suddenly a image of an Earth Pony with a wavy mane, a black dresshirt, and a tan suit jacket (*) appears before you. You stare at the image in confusion as it says,
"You know what to do."
He then winks before the image of the pony quickly vanishes before you can even blink, but you don't knock his words of wisdom as you soon gain a very... explosive idea.
"That guy's writing sucks, but he sure knows how to cause one Tartarus of a ka-boo-"
But before you can carry it out Smaug's hand smashes into the cave, grabs you, and violently pulls you out of the cave and throws you, the momentum sending you roughly tumble-rolling a couple of times before finally stopping when you slam against a tree. You cough up more green blood and you feel like just falling over now, but your eyes are glowing a blazing orange as you think,
BrownDog's Comment
Selena!
Yes?
Do it!
She laughs happily,
About Bucking Time!
With this, midnight colored mist begins to appear on you and it spreads like wildfire all over your body forming the fox-like Nightmare Cloak. Smaug senses the dark magic and tenses,
"Wh-what is this power?"
Your Nightmare Cloak glows (patching your earlier injuries) as it finishes forming at two tails and you smile at him with glowing eyes,
"Oh nothing, just thought I'd introduce you to my lovely companion, The True Goddess of the Night!" you growl out in two voices.
Assuming Direct Control
"What?" asks Smaug.
"Good evening dragon, I think you've been wailing on my Bug and I for faaaar too long. I guess what I am trying to convey is... IT'S MY TURN NOW!" Selena roars with a smile with enough force to even force Smaug back a few steps and you spot something in his eyes that wasn't there before. Tiny, but definitely there...
Fear.
What do you/Selena do?
Episode 73: Two Against One! Selena/Bugze Vs Smaug (Dragon Quest Arc Finale)
Selena stretches your body, causing a few pops and cracks from your bones, before she smirks evilly at Smaug as she says,
"Ahhh... That was therapeutic. It's so nice to get out and about once in awhile."
As soon as she says this, she releases a mass burst of power. Smaug steps back in surprise at the raw power being displayed as it shakes the ground. The bolts of lightning that are drawn in around the aura cone of dark magic makes him hesitate before he incorrectly associates them with the pain he's suffered from Bugze's previous attacks. This only enrages him once more as he growls in anger,
"Fool! You think your petty tricks are going to scare me after what you've done to me and my son?!"
Your orange glowing eyes appear in a snap amongst the glowing aura before it begins to fade. Selena chuckles evilly before she glares and says,
"Petty tricks?"
A wall of force distorts the air, causing Smaug to stumble backwards again, this time from sheer force and surprise. Smaug growls in anger as Selena merely chuckles darkly before saying,
"The only trick here is the vanishing act you're going to pull in just a few seconds if you know what's good for you. But then again, like my bug, you don't know what's good for you. So we're going to have to do this the hard way."
Smaug gains a look of confusion before he asks,
"The HARD way?"
Selena smirks slightly before saying,
"Yes, the way in which I pummel your oversized flank into unconsciousness. And once I've done that, we're going to have a LONG talk in the dream realm about your son's behavior, and your failings as a father. One that involves every nightmare you've ever had, and that fact that no matter how hard you try, you can't wake up."
Apparently insulting a dragons parenting skills causes them to go off the deep end as Smaug stomps forward with a roar of rage,
"NOT IF I CRUSH YOU FIRST!"
Selena sprouts a shark-toothed grin before she says,
"Then come, and learn the meaning of true fear."
With that said you/Selena charge right back at Smaug. As Selena charges at Smaug with your body, you can't help but ask her,
Hey Selena, what was with that light show back there?
Merely a flashy entrance Bugze, now shut up so we can beat this lizard into the ground!
With that thought you/Selena meet Smaug at the center of the charge and,
Smaug grabs you in both claws, flies you high into the air, and then hurls you towards the ground with enough force to cause a large crater before following it up by engulfing the crater with flames. You proceed to walk out of the flames commenting something cool (or something you think sounds cool, but just sounds cheesy/stupid when you say it out loud)
You/Selena try to attack him with a Falcon punch, but you/Selena miss. Smaug takes advantage of this as he grabs your body with both of his claws. You/Selena struggle to get out of his grip by using your tails, but apparently dragons have a pretty tight grip when they need it. Smaug grins at your struggling form as his wings start to flap. Soon he flies up high into the air. He looks at you one more time with a merciless glint in his eyes as he chucks you towards the ground like a hoofball. You manage to use your tails to cushion your fall, but you still cause a large crater to form under you. As you get up Smaug sends a torrent of flames at you, setting the crater and you ablaze. Smaug lands back on the ground as he says,
"So, the bug was all talk after all. He should have known better then to mess with m-WHAT!"
Smaug's eyes widen in shock as he sees you calmly walk out of the blazing inferno behind you. Your two tails wip around crazily as you do. You/Selena smirk at his shocked face as you say coolly,
"I'm afraid you got me a little hot under the collar...
Smaug groans at you pun as he says,
"Really?"
"Really. In fact, I think it's time to chill."
With that, you use the Winter Blast on the Power Glove to create a giant pillar of ice. You punch out the base, grab it in your tails, and hurl it like a spear at Smaug.
He incinerates it with a burst of flame, but he uses too much, and the melted ice boils into steam. You take advantage of the sudden smokescreen to get close and use the Shadow Shoryuken. Your attack hits its target as you collide with Smaug's lower jaw. This causes him to open his mouth in pain. Seeing a chance to cause some pain, you/Selena...
During the Fight, use your Tails to latch onto his tongue and whirl him around by it. Also, since apparently Lightning is Dragon Kryptonite, unleash Lightning straight down his throat giving him EXTREME HEARTBURN!
Are dragons fireproof on the inside? Just think on it guys . . .
Use your tails to grab onto Smaug's exposed tongue. Smaug's eyes widen in shock at this before you say,
"Oh what's the matter, bug got your tongue?"
With that you lift Smaug slightly up into the air before you begin to whirl him around like a top. Eventually you smash him onto the ground causing a crater to from. You smirk at this as you jump up onto Smaug as you aim your power glove at his open mouth. You grin evilly as you say,
"Now, let's see if dragons are fire and electric proof on the inside! Would you kindly Mix up!"
With that you that said you select Electro Bolt and Incinerate before you shout,
"WOULD YOU KINDLY FEEL FIERY AND ELECTRICAL PAIN!"
With that a ball of fire and electricity shoot out into Smaug's open mouth. You quickly let go of his tongue before you jump off of him and back a few feet. Smaug gets up and feels his stomach as he waits for the pain to come, but when it doesn't he just smirks cockily at you before saying,
"Heh, looks like you threw a dud Little Thief."
You just smirk at that as you say,
"Think again Smaug."
As if what you just said was a trigger word, a small 'boom' sound is heard in Smaug's gut. Smaug's eyes widen in pain as he holds his stomach as if it was about to burst. Smaug lifts his head and roars in pain, and when he opens his mouth a torrent of flames and electricity fly out of his mouth. You can't help but stare at it in awe as you mumble,
"Oh that looks so cool! Right out of an anime or something!"
Selena takes back control of your mouth as she says,
"Focus bug! That dragon is not down for the count yet!"
You gain back control of your mouth and you gain a look of confusion as you ask,
"What do you mean? That guy's organs are probably either scrambled or spazing out. There's no way he's gonna keep fi-"
Your sentence is interrupted by a giant red fist smashing into you. It sends you flying across the field, but you use your tails to hook onto the ground. You growl as you lower yourself to the ground with your tails. You stare at Smaug, who looks injured but not beaten yet, as he says,
"You...you think that little trick is going to keep me down! That was nothing, you are nothing!"
You growl even more at this, but Smaug doesn't shut up as he continues,
"If... If you think that is going to be enough to defeat me you are wrong... This is not going to be like last time with the yellow pony!"
You gain a confused look at this as you as Selena,
"Yellow Pony? So he remembers what happened back at the mountain top?"
Selena decides to use your mouth to answer as she says,
"Of course he remembers...He talked about it before this idiotic fight started!"
You make a blank face before you make a "oh" sound before you say,
"Oh yeah, he did. Wait a second...how come he remembers but not even Twilight or Celestia remember it!?"
Selena makes a thinking face with your face while saying,
"Discord's spell affected mainly Canterlot and Equestria, he didn't have a reason to search for Smaug. Not even an Imbecile like him would want to battle too many dragons that have high resistance to magic, especially after just using the mass amount he used on the Elements, it could have broken his seal. Plus this dragon was out in dragon country when the spell was cast."
It takes you awhile to processes this, and when it does you can't help but tailpalm (smacking yourself with your Nightmare Tail instead of your hoof) before you say angrily,
"So... The only one that can remember that I helped the Elements, wants to kill me because I stole from him and punched his kid... Thank You Lady Luck. You sure know how to buck up my li-"
Your conversation is interrupted when Smaug growls out angrily,
"Will you stop talking with yourself? Because even if you try to fool me into thinking you are crazy, I'm still not going to stop pummeling you till you’re nothing but a smear on the ground!"
That sentence sparks something in you, and you start to twitch slightly as you say,
"Crazy..hehe...you thought I was acting crazy...hehehehe..."
Smaug looks slightly disturbed from your manic laughter. But as you continue to laugh, devil horns begin to form on your head. You don't notice this as you stop laughing and look over to Smaug before saying evilly,
"You poor fool...you haven't even begun to see the depths of my insanity."
"I'm gone squash you like a bug! Smaug shouted You feel a fended by this "HEY.. words do hurt know!" you replied
Slam your two Nightmare Tails into the ground, and with this you start to reel yourself backwards. Smaug notices what you’re doing and begins to charge at you with a cry of,
"OH NO YOU DON'T YOU SLIMY LITTLE BUG! I'M GONNA SQUASH YOU RIGHT HERE! RIGHT NOW!"
You give an offended look at that as you continue to reel back.
"Hey! ...Words hurt you know!"
Smaug merely gives a roar of rage as he continues to charge at you. However as you feel that you’re done reeling back you can't help but smirk as you say,
"But you know what hurts more than words..."
With that your launch yourself at Smaug with a cry of,
"MY HOOF SMASHING YOUR SKULL IN!! FALCON MISSILE"
Smaug's eyes widen at your attack, but before he can dodge your attack your midnight covered punch slams into his skull. Time seems to slow down as you can hear a cracking sound coming from his skull and you can just imagine an x-ray of his skull cracking. Saliva flies out of Smaug's mouth, along with blood coming out of his nose. Time seems to speed back up as the force of your punch sends Smaug flying right through the cave wall and into the cave with all the explosives . Smaug seems to be dazed as he rest on a pile of the explosives. Your eyes widen when you get an explosive idea.
You land back on the ground and charge at Smaug. When you’re about to reach him you jump into the air, pull out one of your Fuse Bomb's from your Potion Sash and throw it at the cave in midair. You then use your tails to push off what's left of the cave wall to make some distance from the cave. Smaug seems to come to his senses as he looks at the lit fuse bomb and the explosives around him. As the fuse is about to reach the bomb, there is only one thing he can say,
You smirk as you stare at the pretty, pretty explosion before you execute a perfect split. ...
"Oh my nads....."
Of course you soon come to regret it as you can now not feel your nads. You quickly get out of that position as you hold your nads in pain. You hear Selena laughs at your pain before she says,
"And this is way I'm the better influence on our daughter."
You slowly get up but you wince in pain as you say,
"Says the psychopathic murderous goddess who wanted to kill everyling in her path just a few months ago."
...
"Touche."
But before you can continue your conversation with Selena, you hear a loud shouting coming from above you? You quirk your eyebrow in confusion as you look up...
and see a damaged Smaug falling right towards you!!!
You scream in panic as you quickly roll out of the dragon’s crash zone. Smaug's body lands on the ground with a humongous*THUD*. A dust cloud springs forward from where Smaug crashed and you can feel the earth quake from the impact. As you use your tails to stabilize yourself, Selena chuckle's using your mouth at this before she says,
"That should have done it. Nopony can survive that, this dragon should be out cold by now."
You nod your head at her logic as the dust cloud clears to reveal...
Smaug, slowly getting to his feet!?
He looks less for wear through as he has bruises all over his body. His face looks like it went through a Doctor Quack surgery as his nose is crooked and some of his hair scales are broken or smashed off. His scared eye looks even worse than before. He's bleeding from his nose as well from multiple wounds across his body. His tail looks to be bending the wrong way and he’s holding his left arm, which now hangs uselessly on his body. And that's only on the outside, you can't even image what his insides look like. But apparently Smaug's vocal cords are still good as he speaks in a raspy voice,
"How...how can such a puny, insignificant, worthless thief defeat me! I am Smaug! My armor is like tenfold shields, my teeth are swords, my claws spears, the shock of my tail is a thunderbolt, my wings a hurricane, and my breath death! HOW CAN A LITTLE THIEF DEFEAT ME!"
You chuckle at this as you walk towards him and say,
During the fight, declare something like; "My name isn;t 'Little Thief', it's THE HOODED OFFENDER!!!"
Avenge your Subject Delta armor by peeling off some of his belly scales.
"Oh that's quiet simple Smaug, for you see my name isn't 'Little Thief', its..."
You send out your two Nightmare tails as you grab one of Smaug's loose belly scales. Smaug lets out a roar of pain as you continue,
"THE!"
You begin to pull back on the scales, causing them to start to peel off. Smaug falls to his knees with tears in his eyes as you continue,
"HOODED!"
And with one final tug you pull off some of his scales, causing Smaug to let out a roar of pain before you shout in the RCV,
"OFFENDER!"
Smaug just falls down as the pain from his scales being ripped off becoming too much. You smirk evilly as you begin to climb his body and walk towards his face. With a menacing chuckle you say,
"Hehehe...that was for my Delta armor. Now usually I would just walk away now and leave you to your self pity. But...."
You/Selena feel a dark influence shroud your minds as you lash your Nightmare tails at Smaug's nose and grab it. Smaug lets out a gurgled cry of pain as Nightmare Mist begins to go down his nose and into his throat, choking him as you/Selena whisper,
"Today I'll make an exception so you don't cause anymore trouble."
Smaug just make a gurgled cry of pain at your statement. As you and Selena see the life slowly leaving his eyes, you can't help but call out in your mind,
FINISH HIM!
You/Selena start giggling until you hear a tear filled voice cry out.
“NOOO! Please Stop! Please don’t kill my Dad!”
You look to Garble and see his horrified and saddened form.
Both you and Selena are knocked to your senses, thinking about your own daughter.
“I…I relent,” she says as you are given back full control and the fog dissipates.
Smaug, with his broken face just starts gasping for air as he just lies on the ground. Garble runs towards his father and begins hugging him while crying.
“Oh dad, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!”
You both feel like dirt for what you almost did…again. You glare slightly as you just know that your Shadow had something to do with it. The Nightmare Cloak disappears from your body once again as you watch Garble hug his father. Sighing and deciding to deal with it later, you begin to walk away but a wheezing voice calls out to you.
“Thief…why didn’t you finish me off?” Smaug asks.
You turn back to him.
“Because no child should have to lose their parent” you tell him. An image of Nightshade flashes through your mind before you say,
“I have a daughter of my own, and I can’t imagine what would happen to her if I were killed in front of her.”
He nods at this.
“And I never would’ve actually killed your son, I’m not a killer anymore…at least I try not to be, so I don’t blame you for how you acted, I would’ve done the same.”
“Any parent would,” finishes Smaug to which you agree.
“Little Thief, what is your name?” he asks.
“I gave you my title, but I suppose I can give you my name. My name is Bugze.”
“Very well, Bugze, Host of the Nightmare Goddess, I concede half my treasure to you.”
Your eyes widen at what Smaug said as you ask,
“Wait, really? After all this?”
“Believe me, there is nothing I’d rather do than keep it and break you…but my code won’t allow it. You beat me fair and square, and you spared our lives. Take it, and never bother me or mine again.”
You can’t believe it. Lady Luck must be taking a break from ruining your life for once. Deciding to not waste this chance you say,
Smaug mentions how since Phoenixes are basically immortal, they would eventually overpopulate and starve themselves out so Dragons help deal with them (comparing it to Ponies and Chickens). However, Smaug is still upset at Garble for "wasting food" cause to due to the properties of Phoenixes, just 1 Phoenix egg can serve as a whole meal for a dragon.
“Alright, but keep a check on your boy and his friends, I beat them down in the first place because they were trying to kill a younger dragon for not smashing Phoenix Eggs.”
“HE WHAT?!” cries out Smaug in alarm. “Garble! Is this true?!”
“I…well…he….” Stammers out Garble.
“What have I told you about Killing?! It’s only for food or honor, never for fun! And look, it nearly killed us and ruined my nap!
“But the little Purple Guy was bragging about all the Mares he’d bedded, and I was trying to show him up and,” Garble stumbles.
“I couldn’t care less the spat between you and your stupid friends, how long have you been wasting Phoenix Eggs?”
“I…”
“How Long?!”
“Just a few weeks, we were bored and thought it would be fun!” he shouts out.
“You are grounded mister, wasting all that valuable food,” Smaug admonishes
“Oh come on!” shouts out Garble in frustration.
“Um, not to question your parenting or anything,” you interrupt causing Smaug to look back to you, “but aren’t your priorities a little mixed up? I mean, Garble and his friends are just going around smashing innocent eggs.”
“You would have us let every phoenix egg hatch?” he asks.
“Well, yeah, I came from an egg…I think, and so did you.”
“Tell me something thief, what would happen if nigh immortal birds kept breeding, never dying without something to hunt them?”
“Um…they…uh…” you stammer.
“Their population would explode and they would use up every resource under the sun to the point of starvation” he tells you.
You hear Selena face hoof within your mind as what Smaug said finally hits you. You chuckle nervously before you say,
“Oh, well..”
“We keep their population in check, and in return, we gain a meal. Because of the magical properties of a phoenix, just on egg is enough to fill up a dragon larger than I.”
“Whoa,” you say genuinely surprised.
“It’s the same principle as ponies and their filthy chickens. So yes thief, my priorities are in the right place,” he then turns back to Garble. “Because half my horde is going away, you are going to repay every bit of it back Son!”
“But I don’t have nearly enough Dad!”
“Too bad, because you aren’t ungrounded until I’ve been repaid!”
“Graaaaagghhhh!!!” Garble yells holding his head.
“Don’t you talk back to me Mister!” Smaug yells.
You smirk at this squabble and wander off to the cave where you start filling The Inventory with treasure.
BACK AT SMAUG'S CAVE
As you start to fill The Inventory with jewels, gold, and other expensive things, you can't help but ask Selena,
“Selena, is Nightshade still asleep?”
Yes, it appears nothing has jostled her. Even that mismatched dragon tried to wake her by licking and she dreamt of puppies.
“Sleeping like a rock eh? Just like old times.”
“Indeed.”
You stare silently at a expensive looking mirror. Your reflection staring back at you as you ask,
“…Hey, are you Okay?”
“I’m fine, why?”
“You seemed shaken when we almost…finished Smaug.”
Selena is silent for a moment before she says,
“I am fine…I was blindsided by the whelp’s tears, nothing more.”
“You saw Nightshade in his place didn’t you?”
Another moment of silence before she says,
“…Yes, as did you.”
“Yeah…at least you and I aren’t too far gone.”
Flashes of Fillydelphia and the other changelings cross your mind, but you shake them as Selena says,
“Verily…so what now that we have our small fortune?”
“Well, if Crackle did her job correctly, the others should be back in Ponyville…which means You, Me and Nightshade can finally go home.”
“Appleloosa?” she asks.
“Yeah, this is more than enough to pay the Doctor. Now we can live the rest of our lives in peace…we’re done.”
“I highly doubt that…” she says.
You chuckle at Selena's comment as you grab a few more things that look expensive before you...
You write in your Notebook for the Doctor to come and get you. Soon after, the TARDIS materializes in front of you and the door opens. You Walk Inside.
Take out the Doctor's Notebook from The Inventory and write to the Doctor,
Hey Doc, guess what?
I've finally gained enough money to pay off your stupid debt! Had to fight a dragon for it, but I have it. So get your cowardly little behind to my location so I can pay ya back. I'm at the big cave on the dragon mountain outside the Everfree. See ya soon.
With that you close the notebook and put it back into The Inventory. You grab a couple of jewels as you wait, but you don't have to wait long as you hear the TARDIS's familiar chime from in front of you. Soon the TARDIS materializes completely and the door to it opens. You smile smugly as you walk in.
The TARDIS door closes behind you as you take a look around. The TARDIS looks exactly like it did the last time you were on here. So you have to guess the Doctor hasn't regenerated. At least you hope he didn't, you do not want to have to deal with a new Doctor for a debt an old one gave you. As you look around you can't help but wonder,
I wonder if Derpy is still on board?
Your question is answered when you see a uneasy looking Derpy walking out of one of the corners. You stare at her in confusion as you ask,
"Hey Derpy, why the uneasy face?"
Derpy's eyes widen when she hears you as she says nervously,
"Oh Bugze, good to see you. But you should probably leave for a little bit, the Doctor is kinda-"
"BUGZEEEEEEE!"
Derpy winces slightly before she says,
"uh..mad."
The Doctor storms past Derpy and heads straight towards you with a face full of rage. You gulp slightly at this as you nervously say,
"Uh...ehehehe...what's up Doc?"
The Doctor's eye just twitches in annoyance before he says,
"Whats up? Whats up!? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU JUST DID?!"
You wince slightly at the Doctor's yell, but you shake it off as you say in a annoyed tone,
"Of course I know what I did. I just beat up a motherbucking dragon so I can pay off your stupid debt you forced me in!"
The Doctor just glares at you as he says,
"First of all, you falling in debt with me was your own fault. Second of all, you just set in motion things in time I was trying to avoid!"
You give him a confused look as you ask,
"What the buck do you mean? All I did was take the spoils of beating Smaug after he tried to kill me."
"Yes, and the only reason he did that was because you attacked his son!"
You gain an offended look as you say,
"Hey! I only did that to save one of my friends from getting killed!"
The Doctor just sighs before he says,
"You don't get it. Spike wasn't going to die, in fact he wasn't even going to be harmed!"
You look at him in confusion as you ask,
"What do you mean?"
"What I mean is that he would have been saved by his pony friends before anything could have happened. But no, you had to come along and cause yet another event in time to change from what it should have been! This is Fillydelphia all over again!"
You stare at him in shock, and the Doctor seems to regret what he said, but you ignore it as you growl in rage,
"Don't you dare compare what happened here to that event! This is completely different. Now take your bucking money and leave me alone so I can go home!"
The Doctor just stares at you, before he sighs and says,
"Look, what's happened has happened. Nothing can change it now. Now go put what you stole from the dragon back and head on back to Ponyville."
With that said the Doctor turns around and begins to head towards the TARDIS controls. Derpy just looks at you sadly before she to walks towards the controls. However, you don't care. You don't give a buck as to what they’re doing. Your body begins to shake in rage as you say,
"No..."
The Doctor and Derpy look over to you in shock as he asks,
"What did you just say?"
You look at him with glowing orange eyes boiling in pure hatred as you say,
"I said...no. If you won't take the money then fine, I'll keep it. But I am not going back to Ponyville! I AM GOING BACK TO APPLEOOSA WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT! IN FACT I DON'T EVEN CARE FOR THE BUCKING DEBT, IT'S YOUR FAULT ANYWAY!"
The Doctor looks shocked at your outburst before he glares and says,
"How is it even remotely my fault?!"
You snarl at him before saying,
"Because everything that's bad that's happened in my life is all your fault! Until you came into my life things we're going smoothly! I had a daughter, I had a place to call home, I even had bucking friends that didn't want to kill me! But when you showed up, my life was ruined! Discord erasing all my good deeds from everyling's memory, me being trapped in a town full of ponies wanting to kill me! BUCKING FILLYDELPHIA! IT’S ALL YOU FAULT! NOW I'M LEAVING AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!
The Doctor glares at you as he says,
"Everything that's happened to you is far better than what could have been!”
“Could’ve been?” you ask but he continues.
The Doctor ignores your question (as usual) as he says,
“And yes you are leaving, to Ponyville! The debt is still in place. Now go back now or I'l-"
However you interrupt his sentence by letting out a roar of rage and charging at him. The Doctor can only stare at you in shock as you ram him into the TARDIS controls. You life your hoof up and are about to punch him but he dodges it. You hoof ends up hitting the controls with enough force to leave a dent. You turn back to the Doctor and are about to pounce at him, when suddenly the TARDIS starts to shake like crazy. Red lights begin to flash all over the room as you are sent flying into a wall. Derpy, who is holding on to one of the railings, shouts at the Doctor in panic,
"DOCTOR, WHAT'S GOING ON!"
The Doctor manages to get back up before he is slammed into the controls. He holds onto them and looks over them and says,
"BUGZE SMASHED THE CONTROLS AND THERE'S NO TELLING WHERE WE'RE GOING! HE RUINED THE BRAKE, THE EMERGENCY BRAKE, AND THE EMERGENCY EMERGENCY BRAKE! WE'RE OUT OF CONTROL!"
You try to say something but before you can the TARDIS buckles and sends you flying into the tube above the controls. It cracks from the pressure as you fall onto the controls. You grab onto a level and yell,
"DOC, CAN'T YOU FIX THIS BUCKING THING BEFORE WE END UP BLOWING THE WHOLE UNIVERSE UP!"
The Doctor grunts as he somehow manages to get his sonic screwdriver out and scans the TARDIS. His eyes widen in panic as he yells,
"HANG ON! WERE COMING IN FOR A ROUGH LANDING!"
Deciding to follow the Doctor's advice for once you grip onto the level with as much strength as possible. You, Derpy, and the Doctor then brace for impact as the entire TARDIS begins to buckle and shake like crazy. Parts of the TARDIS begins to fall off all over the place. Sparks begin to fly as well as part of the controls (the part you’re not on) blows up. After about a minute or two the TARDIS finally comes to a standstill. You all take a deep breath as everything starts to calm down. You shakily let go of the level and get off the controls. You look at the Doctor and your rage returns, but before you can do anything rash you see a screen that says,
You can't read what the date is or what the rest of it says as it's just a bunch of gibberish. But you don't care as you smile triumphantly at the Doctor (who's getting up) as you say,
"While I still want to smash your face in, but I'm in a good enough mood not to. After all we're back at my home, even if the TARDIS somehow landed here when I broke it. Now ta-ta Doctor, see you never again!"
With that you turn around and begin to walk towards the door (while moving around the debris). The Doctor, however, just looks at the location in horror as he says,
“What? WHAT? No No no, this isn’t possible!” he shouts.
“What is it Doctor?” asks Derpy.
He doesn’t answer as he shouts at you, "Oh no no no! Bugze don't go out the door!"
As the Doctor goes after you, Derpy looks at the screen to see why the Doctor is so horrified...
Location: Appleoosa, Equestria Year: 3428 A.N Event's: THE YEAR OF THE NIGHTMARE
“Oh No,” she mumbles.
You ignore the Doctor as you begin to push open the TARDIS door while saying,
"No thanks Doc, I have a home to get t-"
The words die in your mouth as you stare at the...the horror in front of you. For where Appleoosa once was....
Now stands a wasteland of destroyed homes. Everything has been destroyed or burned to the ground. There's a scent of...of death throughout the air. Signs of past fires are everywhere and whole houses are nothing but ash. Tears begin to form in your eyes as you run out into the destruction while chanting,
"No no no no no no no no no no no NO NO NO NO!"
The Doctor and Derpy follow after you, but you don't care. All you care about is how your entire home is gone. Everywhere you look there's ash, debris, or just...nothing. You continue your chant as you reach the center of town. Tears begin to fall as you see a stone standing tall in the center of the town. You rush over to it and see that it is a commemorative plaque.
You read out loud what is says at the top it says,
“The Elements of Harmony: Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Applejack”
Below that,
“The Citizens of Appleloosa”
With that a long list of names are under it. Some jump out at you.
Old Man Muffin....Little Strongheart....Braeburn....What’s going on?
One name has been scratched towards the bottom of the list, as if done by a claw.
NIGHTSHADE!
“What is this?!” you yell.
You then read the inscription below your daughter’s name.
“In Memory of Those Who Lost Their Lives’ at the Hooves of the Hooded Offender.”
Your eyes widen in pure horror at this. More tears begin to fall at these names as you can't help but think,
What the...what the buck is going on! This can’t be! THIS CAN’T BE!
“This is a joke, it has to be!” you shout as you pound on the Monument. You hear loose gravel fall from the other side of the plaque. You go around and see another scratched in note.
You read it out loud with grief,
“These are the ponies and friends and loved ones...who I have failed. May they never forgive me for my failure. I couldn't control it...I couldn't stop it...I have become the monster. I have become the thing I feared. I have become..
THE NIGHTMARE!"
Your eyes widen in pure horror at this, and in that moment you break. You know what this is, you know who made it. This is your worst fear. You grab your head and release all your rage and sadness in one grief stricken scream,
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
This is it...the beginning of the end. It has happened, and there's no stopping it.
THE NIGHTMARE HAS COME!
What do you do?
Episode 74: The Nightmare Begins (Season Finale Part 1)
“We fried you, you miserable little cockroach!” shouts Selena.
“Yeah, but just like your precious Bugze, I’m a lot harder to kill,” he snarks back.
“Get out of here, I don’t have time for you!” you shout.
“Oh why is that? Getting emotional over your most crowning achievement?”
“I DIDN’T DO THS!” you shout aloud, “Appleloosa is my home! And I couldn’t have murdered the Deadly 6…or my own Daughter…I couldn’t have.” You lament.
Suddenly there is a dark Shimmer to your right and Shadow Bugze materializes! Your eyes widen in shock, but before you can do anything your body suddenly freezes up. You grunt as you try to move, but nothing works. Shadow you chuckles at your attempts before he asks you in a haunting whisper,
“Are you sure about that?”
Before you can even blink he places a hoof on the side of your head. A sharp pain spikes through your skull as your prospective shifts. You find yourself looking through somelings eyes as if there your own. You try to move, but your body doesn't respond. Suddenly your head moves as if it had a mind of its own.
You are surrounded by broken and burning buildings dead guards and civilians line the streets after some massive battle. Your body moves by itself as it runs to a familiar looking shack and you see a yellowish hoof sticking out from under the collapsed material.
“Braeburn…no…” a voice laments, and shockingly, it’s yours.
The perspective turns and you run towards the back and you hear ragged breathing.
The broken debris is thrown off with magic, and underneath is Nightshade, crushed and broken.
“NOOOOO!!! No, Baby, NO!”
Your hooves wrap around her on their own as your voice continues,
“It’s OK, daddy’s got you, everything will be alright, daddy’s got you…”
“Daaa…dddyy…” she sighs as her eyes begin to lose their brightness.
“No baby don't do this to me. Stay awake honey, come in honey stay away from the light. Come on baby your all I have left you can't do this to me. Come on baby....please."
Your voices pleads are ignored as Nightshades chest stops moving, her hoof falls limply to her side. And her eyes close for the final time. You can feel tears falling from your eyes relentlessly as you stare at your daughters body. Suddenly you feel thousands of emotions exploding at you at ounce.
Pain, sadness, grief, confusion, shock, guilt, and anger.
No... She wasn't ready.
"GGGGGRRRRRAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" Your voice and the DFV scream out at the top of your lungs in anguish, and hold her close as you begin crying uncontrollable.
You lose track of time. You don't know how long you've been holding her. It could have been hours, minutes, or even seconds, but you didn't care, all you feel was anger, grief, and pain.
You hear something behind you.
"Why...?" you say through a sob.
They did this...
You hear a sniffle behind you and then see a yellow hoof touch your shoulder.
“Hoody…” sniffles Fluttershy,
It's all because of them! Again!
"I had friends... a home... a family..." you sob as you gesture to your dead daughter in your arms, "Why couldn't you all just leave us alone...?"
They took everything from us because you were too weak!
“I’m sorry…I’m so so sorry. We didn’t want this, any of this…I’m sorry,” she says with tears in her eyes, but you look from her to your child in your arms. Her lifeless eyes staring into yours. Eyes that held so much joy in them. Eyes that would give you hope and love whenever you saw them. Eyes that held utter terror in their final moments.
KILL THEM! UNLEASH ME AND END THEM ONCE AND FOR ALL!!!
You feel a piercing pain in your head as you drop your daughter's body and your hooves fly to your head as it starts to twitch, midnight-colored wisps starting to surround your body as you yell in pain.
“Hoody!” Fluttershy exclaims in shock.
You feel darkness seeping into your heart and mind, all you can feel is pain as you start to rapidly remember all your friends, your home, and your daughter. Now all gone...
The DFV gives out an evil chuckle before she takes control of your mouth and says,
"Assuming direct contr-"
*shatter*
What?!
Under the pressure of a the grief, pain, and rage, your mind shatters. The darkness that was taking control is instead sucked into the cracks as you feel your mind twisting and merging, a new personality taking form...
You begin to laugh. It’s soft at first, but it begins to get louder and louder and more out of control.
"H-Hoody!", Fluttershy backs up from you in fright.
“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-,” your laughter stops abruptly as you turn around and face the frightened Pegasus.
"You just couldn't leave it alone, could you?!"
"H-" Fluttershy starts,
"Even when we ran to the corners of Equestria, finding a place to raise our daughter and behaving ourselves, you ponies just HAD to keep chasing just cause we didn't fit your colorful worldview!" you continue as your voice starts to take on a higher, more distorted tone.
She's about to respond, but a Nightmare tail lashes out and wraps itself around her throat.
"You took EVERYTHING from us!!!"
“Grugghhh!” she gasps as she is lifted up.
“But if that's how your kind wants to play, FINE! No more running! It's time for YOU to live in fear for a change!”
“I… gluh…” she chokes out as you bring her closer to your face.
"Cause now that our dreams are dead!"
*SNAP*
Her neck suddenly goes to the side at an unnatural angle before you drop the lifeless husk before you,
"All that's left is a nightmare..."
Your voice laughs again in pure insanity as more Nightmare Tails grow out of your body and you start to feel more violent changes...
“FLUTTERSHY!!!!” scream five voices.
In front of you are the rest of the Deadly 6, shock and anger spread all over their face.
The Filly Fooler rushes forth, “I’LL BUCKING KILL YOU!!!” she shouts.
Your tails ensnare her however, and you begin laughing as you lose yourself too the madness. Soon, you and the DFV become one. You tear off the Filly Fooler’s wings and throw her down as she screams in agony.
“OH SWEET CELESTIA!!!” screams Tacky McStabflank.
You laugh uncontrollably again before you stare at the ponies insanely before saying,
Your body then begins to walk towards them while you are laughing insanely.
Suddenly, you feel yourself being pulled back from the perspective, but still images and sounds flash through your mind. You see all of the Deadly Six’s lifeless bodies, each broken and bloodied. Each on worse then the last.
Suddenly, your flashed to your mind scape. As soon as you do you collapse to the ground in both horror and disgust. If this wasn't your mind scape you were sure you would have thrown up. Selena soon pops up next to you and tries to comfort you, but before she can your Shaodw forms in front of you. You glare at him as you shakily get to your hooves and yell out through your tears,
"I'm gonna change it! I have a time traveler to help!"
"Change?" Suddenly, the mocking tone your dark side had turned into one of enragement.
"Change?! Change this world? Change your future? Don't make me laugh! You can't even change yourself, changeling!" He spat that last word in disgust.
You couldn't help but feel helpless to his verbal assault, the weight of your emotions being too much to bear. You can feel your hooves begin to buckle in sadness when Selena gets in front of you protectively. She gives you a saddened look before she turns back to your shadow and yells angrily,
"Enough! Your words mean nothing! Like we'd even listen to your ilk!"
Sadly, Selena's defense to you was nothing but ignored as your shadow continues his verbal assault,
"Look at you!"
Your Shadow pushes Selena out of the way as he makes you stare down at your own hooves before he continues,
"Teeming with bitterness and killing intent, already with blood in your hooves. You're so weak willed and naive that you couldn't even bring yourself to control it. After so long since you got your powers, and even longer your hatchling-hood rage and misery, you still couldn't change yourself into a being able to wield it!" You then hear the last thing that you didn't want to here, "And you want to protect with that power? Who wants to be protected by a bloodthirsty monster?"
"Noling..." you mutter. You agree, too, because you know. You knew, ever since the Fillydelphia incident, ever since you decided to let the Hooded Offender's name die, that your time as hero came to an end. Because you became your worst nightmare that Hearthswarming.
A nightmare that no one loves.
"Pah!," your darkside spat, "No purpose, no will, the world doesn't bucking need a changling who would be willing to throw away their own name. You wallow in your own self pity, too afraid to show your face to the world, while your own ideal world just crumbles around you!"
You collapses from the emotional trauma. Selena's eyes widen at this as she rushes back over to your downed from. She rams your Shadow away as she yells,
"Stop!"
"And you!" He addresses Selena after getting back up. "Eternal night that! Kill foalnappears this! You're the same, always seduced by your darkest desires at an impulse! You can't control the world if you can't even control yourself!"
The words became ghastly whispers, striking your soul to the core as Shadow Bugze said with resolute finality,
"Look around you now. This was your doing, when you finally snapped and decided to buck with the world that bucked with you first. Everywhere you'd gone, there already walked before the destruction and rule of a new King. This is where your kingdom comes— This is where your Nightmare Comes."
You don't know if he was talking to you or Selena, but you didn't say anything. You couldn't say anything. Because he was right. Your Shadow looks like he's about to go at it again when...
“Bugze, Bugze! Wake up!” shouts the Doctor from far away.
Suddenly you are back in your own body, lying on the ground in the fetal position with the Doctor shaking you.
“Bugze, we have to go now, this is wrong, all very wrong!” says the Doctor.
“Of course it’s wrong, everything about you is unnatural,” says Shadow, still in his original position from when he invaded your mind.
“Get away from him you filth!” shouts Selena as you notice a dark mist around your head and Shadow Bugze stumbling backwards.
“Bugze, are you OK?” she asks. Apparently your Shadows speech in your head didn't effect her as much as it did you, but you don't care as all you can do is stutter out with tears running down your face,
“I…I…”
“What’s the matter? Can’t handle the truth? Can’t own up to your actions?!” Shadow says in anger.
“I-I didn’t…I…couldn’t…”
“Of course you didn’t my boy, of course you didn’t” says the Doctor as he picks you up.
“But you did, you did and you enjoyed it, because you two finally stopped kidding yourselves. You finally became what you were always meant to be. A maniac, A Psycho Killer, A Monster!” says Shadow
“Leave him alone!” Selena shouts using your mouth.
The Doctor looks taken aback.
“What? But I was just…”
“Why should I? This is just as much your fault as his. It’s all you ever wanted!” shouts Shadow
“Shut up!” Selena shouts looking to the left of the Doctor.
“Who are you screaming at?” he asks, but again he is ignored.
“It’s all either of you always dreamed, blood in the streets, fear in the air, a world on fire,” he points behind you and beyond the TARDIS you see an orange glow on the horizon.
“No…” you whimper as you run back to the TARDIS the Doctor and Derpy running after you.
“Congratulations,” the Shadow you says. You don’t see him as he glances at the memorial.
“Congratulations…” he sighs in sadness as he fades away.
When you enter the TARDIS, you turn to the Doctor.
“Doctor! Show me the rest of the world!”
“Bugze, I don’t think…”
“Show me!” you shout.
He closes his eyes and sighs as he pulls a monitor out. And what you see...is something out of a true horror.
You see Manehattan and buildings are crumpled, craters dart the landscape.
You then materialize over Las Pegasus, it too is wrecked, but there are bodies of beaten and broken dragons everywhere.
Cloudsdale has crashed into the ground and is burning, you can see torn Wonderbolt uniforms and cracked goggles.
The Everfree Forest is burning out of control and beyond that Ponyville…and its gone. Only one large crater is where the town originally was.
“I, I can’t…Doc…who did this?” you whimper.
He sighs, “You did Bugze,” he answers causing your heart to jump into your throat, “At least you would have.”
“What does that mean?!” you shout, “And you better give me a straight answer this time!”
"Very well, I will tell you…just know that this doesn’t have anything to do with you leaving Ponyville, other consequences have come about because of that decision.”
"FINE THEN! Tell me!" you reply
The doctor takes a seat next to you and begins telling you how some of this started.
"Do you remember when you left Ponyville two days ago?"
"Yes I do I was chasing after some old members of the hive. Those bug brains foal napped my daughter and asked me to help them get back to my ex-queen and the rest of the hive." You sigh when you have a flashback to that before saying, "And when I got Nightshade back…well you can guest the rest of the story."
The doctor nods at this before he says,
"Yes that is true. However you didn't return to Ponyville with Nightshade and a forest fire consumed your trail. Flash Sentry went out to go and look for you but all he found was your scarf that you have left behind."
"My scarf? I thought that great piece of clothing burned in the forest fire."
The doctor clears his throat before saying,
"It did…Anyway when Flash returned with the news everypony was shocked. Your mare friends took it the worst as did Nightshade's friends. Some held out for hope…but as time went on, it was lost.”
You looked down taking in the Doctor’s words.
Then Doctor continues,
"The whole town set up a funeral for Nightshade and you, or rather BST because of the burnt scarf and the bloody cave.”
The Doctor hoofs you a newspaper.
The headline says,
Lost But Not Forgotten
Local Resident Baker Sylvester Tennant and his Daughter Nightshade have officially been declared dead. During the Dragon Migration, BST was seen chasing a group of changelings into the Everfree Forest as they had foalnapped his child. A forest fire blocked search parties from entering the woods immediately. When it had subsided, the search teams scoured the forest. Within hours, local Musician Flash Sentry found evidence of a grisly scene. Other parties searched for days, but no other trail could be found. The search parties had been called off as all hope has been lost. The involvement of Changelings comes just a month after the Fillydelphia riots where Changelings were said to be reported. As such, Changelings sweeps will be conducted across Equestria.
“We are going to make them pay for what they have done!” said an outraged Rainbow Dash.
This tragedy will not go unpunished. May we never forget the local extravagant and his sweet little daughter. RIP.
You see a picture of you and Nightshade from Pinkie’s party.
Another wave of tears flow from your eyes as you think,
Oh buck did I mess up big time.
You look back at the Doctor as you ask him,
"Doctor... what happened after the funeral? I need to know."
The Doctor shakes his head before he says,
"Sorry Bugze, but that's for you to decide…but this situation…this…” he turns back around.
“This Bugze,” he points to the monitors, “This is why I’ve been keeping tabs on you, this is why I haven’t given you any answers. This is the real reason you’ve been in my “Debt.”
“Is this my future?” you ask.
“No, Not any more it’s not. I made sure of it! I did! This makes no sense!” he shouts to the inside of the TARDIS. “Unless…” he thinks before running off to a console and begins typing stuff.
“What do you mean you stopped this Doc?” you shout.
“We saw this future together, so we both decided to help you, to keep this from happening,” answers Derpy.
“You Knew?!” you shout.
“Yes, we didn’t want to tell you for your own safety. That’s why we made up the debt so that we had a reason to keep an eye on you, and to help you” she says.
“Wait, there is no debt?”
“Did you honestly think Nightshade could’ve eaten that much in bits? If she could, you wouldn’t be able to afford to raise her.” The Doctor calls over his shoulder.
“We did it to help you Bugze,” Derpy says.
“Help me? HELP ME!? Well it looks like your help isn’t that effective Time Lord!” you shout.
“Oh really? Had you never left Appleloosa to fight Discord, you would’ve spent a whole year in hiding, never learning anything new, still thinking that the princesses wanted Nightshade dead, never making new friends or learning of the Horde, and dear Selena would still be the angry, genocidal Nightmare Moon.”
Oh is that a fact Timelord? she says.
The Doctor looks directly into your eyes and says, “Yes,” causing Selena to gasp.
“Whoa, you can hear her?”
He doesn’t answer you and continues speaking to her,
“If Discord had not threatened Nightshade, you would never have come to the realization that you too loved her, as a daughter, instead of the thing you originally thought her as.”
“…”
“Originally thought as? What’s he talking about Selena?”
I will tell you later…he does make a good point.
You nod your head at this before you ask the Doctor,
I wonder if the Doctor tried to keep him in Ponyville to stop this somehow..
"Is that why you made me stay in Ponyville? So that this wouldn't have happened?"
The Doctor nods his head before he says,
"Yes.I figured the safest place for you to be without causing this future was there. Being surrounded by the Elements would have made sure you didn't draw on the Nightmare's power and Nightshade would be able to make friends with foals her age. I placed a simple perception filter on you both to make it a bit easier on you."
You glare at the Doctor angrily as you say,
“First of all, we need to talk about your definition of 'safe.' Secondly, that’s all fine and dandy, but guess what Doc, the world is still burning!”
“I know, and I think I know why,” he says.
The Console Dings.
“So that’s it then…” he sighs, “This is a universe in which I don’t exist, or have died. No mention of me through history, and no sign of any of the deeds I’ve done.”
“An alternate universe? How did we get here?” you ask.
“Your tantrum broke something in the TARDIS, she sent us here, but we’ve got to get back. I can fix her, but I’ll need time.”
You nod your head at this, but you can't help but ask...
You find when the guard found this world's version of you, there was a great battle and this world's Nightshade was killed in the crossfire. This world's Offender went mad with grief and destroyed everything.
"Doc...how did I turn into...that?"
The Doctor sighs before saying,
"You never left Appaloosa after the Gala, but you were eventually found out. The Princess sent out a battalion of guard's and the Elements of Harmony to arrest you. However the townsfolk didn't take too kindly that the Princess wanted to arrest you. You'd gained their trust and vise versa. They swore to protect you, but you wanted them to run and hide. They listened and went into hiding. When the guards arrived an all out war struck. Half the town was destroyed before Braeburn got caught in the crossfire trying to protect you. Enraged you decimated the guards, destroying everything in your path. When you regained your senses it was too late, they were all dead. The townsfolk, Nightshade, everypony…" he winces and sighs, “I suppose you know the rest?”
You just stare at him in pure sadness, but eventually you nod your head. You sigh before saying,
"I knew...I knew I would lose control. But...but for this to happen. I just...nevermind."
Shaking it off, you ask the Doctor,
"How long do you think it will take to fix the TARDIS?"
The Doctor looks at you and says,
"Too long. I could fix the physical damage, but we need energy. And there's no time crack anywhere near this place. For now we just need to-"
A light starts dinging on a console, so he presses it. Schematics display across the screen.
“Oh dear, it’ll take longer than I thought,” he muses.
“You know what’s wrong?” you ask.
“Yes, but there’s good news and bad news,”
“Kay, what’s the good news,” asks Derpy.
“I can still fix it, I have everything I need more or less…” he says.
“The Bad News?” you ask.
“The TARDIS is also suffering magical damage, so we have to go the most magical place left on the planet to diffuse it…,”
“Whinny World?” you suddenly blurt out, hoping against all hope that happy little Walter Wombat can help.
The Doctor shakes his head “Canterlot” he says.
Derpy just gasps at this.
“Uh…what’s so bad about that? Surely it can’t be any worse than any of the other cities.”
“Oh it is Bugze, Canterlot is the last city in Equestria not destroyed by your…the other you’s rampage.”
“I’m…He’s still out there?” you say.
“Yes, and heaven help us if we run into him,” he says with a shudder.
“But, then Canterlot should be safe right, if it’s still standing?”
“It’s the last stronghold, where literally everyone left is looking for a murderous monster…a monster with your blood.”
You come to the realization that you’re basically entering a lion’s den.
“Oh Buck…”
“Indeed, and with the damage the TARDIS took, I can’t cloak her. A big blue box suddenly appearing is sure to draw some heads when we get there, and if they find you…”
“It won’t be pretty” You finish.
“Doctor, is this the only way?” asks Derpy.
He nods, “Unfortunately yes, the old girl never did like magic, but we’ll need a diffuser if we’re ever going to escape this reality.”
You sigh, “Then let’s get this over with Doc, before anything else goes wrong.”
Canterlot
The TARDIS materializes in Canterlot. On the monitors, you see that the whole city has a gigantic magical forcefield around it, supplied by hundreds of Unicorns. Armed guards of every race patrol the streets, you even see a few griffons around.
“OK Doc, now where do we find this diffuser?” you ask.
He chuckles and rubs his head, “You’re not going to like the answer,” he sheepishly responds.
Your eyes widen, “No…”
“You and Selena are using Shadow Magic on an Alicorn level…which is not surprising seeing as how she’s an Alicorn…” he says.
“Please don’t tell me…” you plead.
“Sorry Bugze, but diffusing Alicorn Magic is a pretty dangerous tool right now, so it’ll be in the safest place, which is…”
“Don’t you say it…”
He sighs, “The Palace…” he finishes.
You bang your head against the wall of the TARDIS.
“Buck! *TWANG* You! *TWANG* Lady! *TWANG* Luck!
Episode 75: The Last City Standing, Canterlot (Season Finale Part 2)
You peak your head outside the ally the TARDIS landed at, and seeing no patrols coming your way you whisper out to the Doctor and Derpy,
"We're clear, no patrols in sight. Come on..."
The Doctor and Derpy peek out of the TARDIS doors before walking over to you. Your now wearing your BST costume as you all figured that was the best disguise just in case you all got caught. The three of you take another peek around the corner, and not seeing any guards, you all quickly run over to the next alley. The three of you do this for the next couple of blocks as you all make your way towards the palace. On your way there you three had to go near the city. The reason why being that you three had to pass by it to get a clear shot at the Palace entrance. But when you get there the three of you see...
BrownDog's Comment
A battalion of Griffons lined up in front of the city gate. You three were just going to ignore the battalion and try to sneak past them, but before you three can a big gruff looking one walks to the front of the battalion. He stands in front of them and barks out,
“Griffons! Today we show these pathetic ponies how it’s really done. Their cities fall to a single Bug! And why is that?"
Nogriffon answers what you assume is their commanding officer. The officer nods his head at their silence before he barks out again,
“Because they were not made for War! We Are! Are claws are sharper than any sword, our wings more resilient than the cloudwalkers, and we don’t know the meaning of defeat! Even now the ponies call upon dragons and the gods of old for help, but they aren’t needed, for we have arrived! We will find this puny Nightmare, and we will send it right into the gates of Tartarus broken and bleeding!”
“OORA!” The griffons chant as they all run out the gate.
You turn to the Doctor, “The Heck was that all about?”
“That was Captain Grey Wing, the leader of a gang of Griffon Mercenaries.”
“What were they doing here?”
“With your…his rampage claiming more and more cities, the Princesses sought help from anyone and anything. Griffons, Dragons, Monsters from the Everfree, even old enemies.”
After saying that last one, he points to patch of grass near some other statues. There seems to be one missing. The plaque says-
“Discord?!” you shout, “That lunatic is free and running around?”
The Doctor sighs, “Free he may be…but he won’t be ‘running around’ for much longer. Neither will those Griffons. They’re walking into a slaughter.”
When the Doctor says this, your mind flashes back to the images your Shadow force onto you. You shiver at the images before shaking it off as Derpy asks,
“Don’t they know the dragons have already fallen?” asks Derpy.
The Doctor shakes his head sadly before he says,
“It appears they don’t, I don’t think it would change anything even if they did, Griffons have always been big headed.”
You nod your head at this information, before your eyes widen as you ask,
“Wait a second-how the hay did Celestia and Luna get dragons to help?”
The Doctor sighs sadly before answering,
“They were promised all the treasure in Canterlot for their services…but they were no match…”
You can't help but gulp in fear at this information before you ask fearfully,
“…How much power does he-I possess?”
Before the Doctor can answer, Selena does it for him as she says,
I know not myself. I had never dreamed that even I could defeat such overwhelming numbers alone.
“How do you not know how powerful you are?” you ask her.
Well for starters, I was only bonded to that traitor for a short time before I was banished for a millennia, and once I came back I was immediately set upon and bested once again. Even you and I have never truly let ourselves go completely.
“Well it seems like maybe we shouldn’t,” you say as the gates close after the last Griffon.
Agreed. This world’s version of me doesn’t even appear to exist anymore. she says.
“Huh?” you say in confusion.
When that Shadow showed us that… moment, she gasps out, clearly disturbed from seeing Nightshade dead, ”I felt not only your anguish, but mine as well. You and I merged together, the old us stopped existing. That thing out there right now is both of us combined, yet at the same time, not us at all, she explains.
“Which is why it’s imperative we leave this universe beforeit finds us,” the Doctor says.
“Hey, private conversation here Doc!” you scold
Indeed, I don’t much care for how you can just hear me either, she huffs.
“Well get over it, because we don’t have time to dawdle, we need to get that diffuser ASAP."
“We got it, we got it!” you say annoyed as the three of you continue sneaking towards the palace.
A FEW MORE MOMENTS OF SNEAKING LATER
The three of you are nearer to the Palace now. But you've all had to stick to the shadows even more the closer you got to the Palace as the patrols got more apparent. But so far you three have manage to sneak by all the patrols without getting noticed. Right now the three of you are taking a short break as you're all just outside the Palace gate. The Doctor and Derpy are huddled together talking over plans to fix the TARDIS, while you on the other hoof are reading a comic. Specifically you're reading a Dark Offender comic. But there's something strange about this one because, well...
It's showing everything that's happening right now as it happens. You can't help but think back to when you got this comic, which was only a few hours ago...
Kichi's Comment
FLASHBACK TIME!
We flash back to inside a TARDIS, where you are having a panic attack after smacking your head into the wall after finding out that you all had to sneak into the Palace.
You begin to breath in and out as you try to calm yourself down, but it isn't working.
"What can I do? What can I do?" You begin to say in a panicked tone.
You start to walk back and forth in panic, when another thought hits you. You groan in annoyance as you facehoof. Derpy takes notice of this as she asks you in confusion,
"What's the problem exactly?"
You give her a deadpanned look as you ask,
"What's the problem? They know my identity as Bugze the changeling, and The Hooded Offender in this world is an evil monster! How am I supposed to get around without anyling seeing me?"
"But what about Tennant?" Asks Derpy
The Doctor, who was listening in on the conversation, get's a lightbulb above his head as he says,
"Of course, Ditzy, you are a genius! You never left Appleloosa in this dimension remember? So the ponies here never meet him, it's perfect!" You can't help but groan and put the disguise of Baker Sylvester Tennant on. (Except the wonderful scarf, which has been lost to the burning fires of cruelty and injustice.)
Your stupid scarf burned in a forest fire. Get over it. Selena directs.
But I loved that scarf! It was so awesome and pure and cool and and..
Bugze...\
You give a sad sigh before saying,
"Fine..."
Sighing again you ask the Doctor,
"Okay... This takes care of the disguise, now what?"
"Well, we need to wait for the TARDIS to be stable enough to leave it alone, and I need to go and grab a few tools as well. Because of that, you two can have a little free time before we go. Release all the tension we got and all that"
The Doctor takes out a couple of silver cards and your eyes can't help but widen in shock at the sight of them as you ask,
"Is that what I think it is?"
The Doctor nods his head as he says,
"Silver Princess Cards, with infinite charge, everything we buy, it goes to the Princess tab"
"I.. I..." You hold the platinum card in awe as you put it into The Inventory
Platinum Card added to Inventory
"Let's go Shopping!" You and Derpy shout at the same time.
However before you can lead the Doctor calls out,
"Oh, almost forgot, the Princess treasury is pretty low around this time. You can probably only buy a few things before those cards run out. Also it's best to ditch them after you use them, don't want to be magically tracked down after all."
While you and Derpy's shopping mood are dampened slightly that doesn't kill the mood completely. But you still both go out and try to find a place to shop while sticking together for safety.
While most of the shops look deserted or ransacked, there is one that still looks nice. It's a old looking comic shop, and while Derpy wasn't too happy about it being the only good shop around, she still went with you to buy some comics. You look around the shop and start to pick up some comics to buy.
As you do, you notice only one Dark Offender comic. Your surprised that they still made these in this universe, but you guess some things stay the same between dimensions. As you open the comic, you eyes widen in surprise as you see a comic strip of Tennant as he get out of the TARDIS. As you flip the pages you see they all are of what happened recently. Until it turns to where your reading the comic in the store. You flip the page to find that it's blank! You flip it again and again to see that the rest if the pages are blank! Your eyes widen even more as you say in shock,
"What the..."
"Ehem, sir... Buy the comic or leave, " orders the shopkeeper.
"Uh... Err.. Sure..." You say as you buy the comics
Spider-Mane Comic Added to the Inventory Batmane Comic Added to the Inventory Power Ponies Comic Added to the Inventory Present Telling Dark Offender added to Inventory
"Come on Bugze, let's go. We need to ditch the cards and then head back" Derpy says
You nod your head at this as you and Derpy sneak back to the TARDIS while ditching the cards.
Platinum Card removed from The Inventory
BACK TO THE PRESENT
You sigh again as the comic once again has images of the present popping up in it. You shake your head as you think,
This thing better not bite me in the butt after this is all over. Better make sure it stays with me at all times so no one knows what were doing.
"Bugze! Come on old chap, we need to get moving."
You sigh again before you nod your head and follow after the Doctor and Derpy.
INSIDE THE CASTLE
When you enter the palace, going through the same brewery you went through a few months ago when Discord was loose,(Good Times) you notice something immediately.
“It’s so dead silent in here,” you say aloud.
Derpy puts a hoof over your mouth before you say more and the Doctor gives you a glare.
“Doesn’t mean you have to break it Bugze, Inside Voice Please” he whispers at you harshly.
“OK, OK,” you whisper angrily back, “But seriously, where is everyling?”
“If I had to guess, at the barrier,” the Doctor says. “I think the Princesses would prefer to have every guard left defending the citizens instead of themselves.”
You nod your head at this logic.
You also notice that the barrels of Coffee are now absent as the brewery is now bare.
“Guess they drank it all,” you mutter.
“In times of war sleep can be considered to be the biggest enemy by some. Staving it off would seem like a must,” the Doctor answers.
As you exit the empty brewery, you wander down the silent hallways. It doesn’t look like it’s been cleaned in weeks. You decide to speak above a whisper seeing as how nolings been here for awhile
“So, where is this diffuser Doc?”
“Well if this Universe’s Tia is anything like our own, she’ll be keeping it in the royal vault,” he answers.
“Royal Vault? You mean that safe in that stain glass window hallway showing all the Dead" You wince when you say this as those images flash before your eyes, but you shake off as you continue, "Element’s Accomplishments?”
“Precisely, supposedly the safe can only be opened by Celestia herself, but there’s never been a lock she’s made that I haven’t opened,” the Doctor smirks as he twirls his Sonic Screwdriver.
“I don’t think she ever forgave you for opening her diary lock though Doctor,” Derpy adds.
“Well if she had just been straight with me and told me why she reestablished Torchwood, then I wouldn’t have had too,” the Doctor whisper
“Alright, alright, let’s go,” you whisper yell.
As you three travel down a corridor of samey looking hallways, you realize you have absolutely no idea where you are.
“How in the world did you get there the first time?” the Doctor asks impatiently.
“I just jumped through some random window,” you admit.
The Doctor facehooves, “Of course you did,” he says with a sigh.
“Hey give me a break, this place is huge,” you pout, but stop when you hear voices coming from around the corner.
You three shut up and peak around the corner. You hear the voices coming from a cracked open door with a hint of light shining out of it.
The Doctor gives everyone the shush gesture before all three of you peek through the door.
Inside you see the three Princesses…and each looks worse for wear.
Celestia’s horn is blackened, and her hair is singed and shortened. Luna has several cuts and bruises across her body and one eye appears to be swollen. Cadence for the most part looks devastated. Makeup lines stream down her face, evidence of a lot of crying, and she just looks disheveled and miserable. A lot of her coat on the left side is blackened, and there is a red imprint upon her flank. It looks like a claw mark that was branded over her Cutie Mark.
They are standing in front of a table with schematics and plans strewn about. You guess this is there war room. Across the table from them are two figures.
Discord makes a very good deal, killing Nightmare Bugze in return for an express ticket home. Discord explains that Nightmare Bugze is so bad, that he, the changelings, and the residents of Sunnytown are working with Celestia.
One of them is Discord, who is oddly looking very serious, but still you can't help but grit your teeth in anger at the sight of him. Standing next to him is the other creature, and…it is one of the strangest things you’ve ever seen.
It is slightly larger than Discord, and has the lower body of a large black horse, but the upper half appears to be some sort of red horned Ape. It’s eye are a piercing yellow, and just looking at him gives you the creeps. You aren’t the only one as the Doctor and Derpy gasp, as does Selena.
Oh dear sweet me…they went to HIM for help? she says in horror.
What? Who is it? you ask.
Your questioned is answered as Celestia speaks up.
“So that’s the plan. The Griffons will draw The Nightmare into this Choke hold, and Discord, you and Tirek will ambush him,” she says to the room, “And then finally this carnage shall end.”
Discord slams his fists together, “That little monster won’t know what hit him,” says Discord, again in a very serious voice, but he still smiles, which unnerves you.
The now named Tirek just nods his head,
“Just so you know princesses, our battle will no doubt crumble the remaining foundations of this Las Pegasus. Also, those Griffon fools are sure to perish.”
Celestia closes her eyes and sighs,
“I am aware of that Tirek, do what you must, just stop the Nightmare at any cost.”
He smirks at that, “You placed me in Tartarus for being a cold and calculating war lord. Oh how the mighty have fallen.”
“Just do your job filth!” Luna spits.
“And we will get what’s promised to us right?” asks Discord.
Celestia puts her head down and sighs again, “Yes. End The Nightmare and you two will be given Equestria, with no resistance.”
You gasp at this, but immediately cover your mouth.
You see Cadance look towards the door for a second, but then back at the two other gods.
“When you kill him, make him suffer,” says Cadance in a cold voice, “Make him pay for what he did to Shining, Twilight…*Sob* and everyone else…kill him good for what he tried to do to me…”
Discord gives nods his head at her solemnly.
Your heart sinks as you hear these words. Cadance, probably your last living friend in this world wants you dead. And you can hardly blame her since you killed everyone she’s ever loved. You shiver at what it is you tried to do to her.
“Know this ‘Princess of Love’ I’m killing this threat not for Justice, nor Vengeance, not even because it’s the ‘right’ thing to do. I kill this threat because I cannot rule the dead” says Tirek coldly.
He snaps his fingers as Discord walks over to him.
“I expect my throne ready by tonight Princesses, now take us fool.”
“Whatever you say Rekky,” he says before he teleports the both of them away.
Celestia sighs and looks down at the table as Luna talks to her.
“Sister…are you sure this is the only way?”
“Yes…Faust help us yes…” she says defeated.
“Discord is harmless in the grand scheme of things, but Tirek?” Luna says uncertainly.
“I would rather my little ponies live the rest of their lives under a tyrant than die at the hooves of a monster,” she says.
Luna nods and places her hoof on Celestia’s shoulder. While you watch this, you don’t notice Cadance leaving your line of sight.
“And what if they fail?” Luna asks.
Celestia sighs once more before she looks to her sister in determination and says, “Then we enact Case Zero…and make our final stand.”
Luna closes her eyes at this when suddenly the door is thrown open, startling you, the Doctor and Derpy.
“Aha! I knew I heard something!” Cadance yells, “Who are you? What are you doing here?”
Celestia and Luna turn around and stare at you three quizzically as well.
“Oh Well…” you start
“The thing is, we were….we kind of…” Derpy adds.
“You See…we got kind of lost?” the Doctor finishes.
You all notice the princesses all giving you the stink eye now as all three of you stare back.
“Well, this has been exciting and all that,” the Doctor says breaking the awkward silence, “But I think it’s time for us to leave, Ta Ta…RUN FOR IT!”
And the Doctor takes off down the hallway, dragging Derpy by the arm. You look back to the Princesses and chuckle nervously, before following suit, screaming at the top of your lungs.
What Do You Do?
Episode 76: See Doc. See Doc Run. Run Doc, Run! (Season Finale Part 3)
You run down the hall like the hounds of Tartarus are on your heels, as whatever guards that were in this castle come out of the woodwork. You have to knock a few out, saying sorry the whole time, as you run randomly looking for the royal vault.
You, The Doctor, and Derpy run down the hall as if the hounds of Tartarus are on your heels, which might as well be the case since you have three raging princess chasing you down with the intent to most likely kill you all. As you three turn a corner you hear Celestia shout in the RCV behind you,
"IT'S HIM! THE NIGHTMARE HAS INFILTRATED THE PALACE! SOUND THE ALARM AND CAPTURE HIM!"
Yours, Derpy’s and the Doctor’s eyes all widen in horror at her shout as you double your speed passing rooms and corridors. As you all do guards begin to plow out of the rooms and also begin to chase after you all. Soon a siren starts going off! You wish you could hold your ears in pain from the annoying sound, but you shrug it off as you continue to run.
As the three of you turn another corner the Doctor calls out,
"Keep running! We gotta lose them before we can find the vault!"
You and Derpy nod your heads at this as you all continue to run. Derpy also can't help but add in,
"And whatever you do, don't look back!"
You look at Derpy in confusion as you ask,
"Why is that?"
Derpy gulps slightly as she answers,
"It's scary when you look back."
You roll your eyes at this as you begin to turn around,
"Oh please, that is ridiculous! I've seen scary, and a couple of angry princess is not sca-"
BIG MISTAKE!
Your eyes widen in terror as you can see the fire of rage and anger in the Princesses’ eyes, as well as the burning rage of all the guards chasing after you,
"OH BUCK! I shouldn't have looked back! I BUCKING REGRET LOOKING BACK!"
With that shout of fear you start to pick up the speed as you start to outrun the Doctor and Derpy. Derpy shakes her head at this as the Doctor and her start to catch up with you. But you don't notice this as Selena yells in your head,
RUN BUGZE RUN!
I'm running! I'm bucking running!
The three of you continue to run for it, but as you all turn a corner you have to stop as there are guards blocking your path. The three of you gulp in fear as you all try to turn around, but are blocked by the princess and more guards. Celestia walks out in front of them as she glares at you and says,
"We have you now Nightmare! Now…we’ll..." she falters as she gets a good look at you.
“You are not the Nightmare…WHO ARE YOU?! SPEAK!” she cries out in anger and confusion.
You gulp in fear at this and try to say something in your defense, but you just sigh and say,
"You know what, buck it!"
With that said you turn around to the guards blocking your way and shout,
"FUS RO DAH!"
Your shout sends the guards flying backwards. The princesses and the guards behind you gasp in fear as if you had just destroyed them, but you ignore it as you take off while shouting,
"DOC, DERPY, COME ON WE NEED TO FIND THAT BUCKING VAULT!"
The Doctor sighs at this, but he still runs after you with Derpy in hoof.
As you run, you don't notice Celestia looking at her downed guards, who are slowly get back up, before she mumbles in confusion,
"That was one of his moves…but clearly that isn’t…"
Celestia shakes her head as she shouts out to the other princesses and guards,
"Don't just stand there! AFTER THEM!"
With a salute, the guards and the princess chase after you, Celestia following suit.
BACK WITH YOU, THE DOCTOR, AND DERPY
"Buck! They’re still on our tail!"
The Doctor sighs at your shout as he says,
"Of course they are! You’re public enemy number one around here remember?! They wouldn't just stop chasing us after you knocked them down."
You give a sheepish grin before saying,
"Are you sure...cause that was what I was hoping for. Maybe if I just knocked them out or something..."
"Look Bugze, please refrain from fighting anymore then you already have," Doctor says as he runs. "As of right now, everypony here is aware of your move set! And we most certainly don't want to add injury to bystanders on top of the trouble we're already in!"
"Well, it's not like they are going give us tea and cookies when they catch us, now, huh?!" you shout back at him. You glance back at the mass of ponies, garbed in armor, behind you. "Does the Offender here know how to Air bend?"
"That's very unlikely since you never left Appleloosa so—wait, Bugze?!"
With a swish of your tail and a hoof, wind torrents at the ponies in front of the charge. You didn't pause for a second in your run to see them stumble and fall, forcing others behind them to trip over them. Just like that, in a domino effect, much of your chasers were left incapacitated. Only the pegasi in the front were spared.
Sadly, however, that warranted the hidden "okay" signal for all the remaining unicorns to blast magic at you all.
"It's worse! You just made it worse! Bugze, I wish you'd just listen to me for once!" The Doctor yells exasperatingly. "And since when did you learn how to Air bend?! We've never seen you practice that other than having the book that teaches it!"
You whimper as one beam of magic clip the side of your horn.
"I just don't know what went wrong!"
Derpy stares defiantly at you with one lazy eye, and shouts, "That's my line!"
"Oh, buuuuuuuuck!" is all you could say as you all ran the halls with murderous ponies hot on your heels.
The three of you keep on trying to lose the guards and princesses, but so far no luck. But you get a brilliant idea when you all turn a corner and see...
A corridor splitting into two paths! You turn towards the Doctor and Derpy and say,
"Let's split up. Then we can lose the Princesses while finding the diffuser!"
With that said you take the path on the left while the Doctor shouts out,
"NO BUGZE! WE SHOULDN'T SPLIT UP!"
But his shout falls on deaf ears as you’re already halfway down the other. The Doctor sighs in defeat as he’s about to say something, but is cut off when a shout from behind him calls out,
"THERE ARE THE INTRUDERS, GET THEM!"
The Doctor gulps in fear before he grabs Derpy's hoof and heads down the path to the right. Derpy looks at the left path in worry as she asks,
"But Doctor, what about Bugze?"
The Doctor looks at her as he continues to run and says,
"Don't worry Derpy, as long as he doesn't run into you know who, we'll be fine."
Derpy nods her head dejectedly at this as she looks back at the guards still chasing them in fear.
WITH YOU
Luckily you managed to lose the princesses and the guards that were chasing you. You lost them by making a few false turns and then hiding in a closet like a little foal. You give a sigh of relief as you walk out of the closet and think to Selena,
Phew, looks like we managed to lose them. Right Selena?
You imbecile do you realize what you have done!
You hold your head in pain from Selena's shout as you reply,
OW! Can you please not scream into my ear Selena. That alarm just stopped going and I was just staring to lose the ringing in my ears.
That's beside the point you idiot. You just left yourself without the Doctor in a castle where everypony is out to kill this version of you!
...
"Oh..."
You can't help but say as you realized just how much you bucked up. But it appears Selena isn't done scolding you as she says,
And not only did you do that, but now we have no clue as to where we are or what this diffuser looks like! And it's all because of your carelessness and your lack of brains that we got into this predicament in the first place!
You give an offended look as you think,
Hey! I'll have you know that I do have a brain in my head! I just don't use it often....anyways as long as I keep on walking I'm bound to find that hallway of window art. The Royal Vault should be near there if I remember correctly from my last 'visit' here.
With that thought in mind you begin to head down the corridor you’re in when an explosion erupts from right behind you! You turn around in shock to find an extremely pissed Luna glaring at you with as much hatred as possible.
"FIEND! PREPARED TO BE DESTROYED FOR ALL THE DEATH AND DESTRUCTION YOU HAVE WROTH UPON THE LAND!"
You just stare at Luna for a little bit before you shout out in fear,
"BUCK YOU LADY LUCK!"
With that you turn around and start to run for your life once again as well as dodging Luna's death lasers. You do this for a few more hallways before you run into something. You hold your head in pain as you look up and see...
Celestia and Cadence giving you the scariest stink eye you've ever seen! You turn around to make a run for it, but before you can you are intercepted by a golden magical aura that can only belong to Celestia. Celestia lifts you into the air and makes you stare at her as she says,
"We got you now!"
You gulp in fear as you start to stutter out in panic,
"Gah, Release me, I'm Innocent! I want my lawyer! It wasn't me, it was my twin brother! I didn't want to do it, but the strange stallion with only left horseshoes told me to do it!"
The Princesses look between themselves as Luna walks over to her sister and says,
"What is this sister? Is this an act?"
Celestia shrugs her shoulders as Cadence says,
"I don’t know auntie, The Nightmare isn’t that easily captured, nor subtle. I don’t think this is him."
Celestia nods, “If this were he, the palace would be on fire by now,” she says.
“But the Nightmare! His aura radiates it!” says Luna.
“Maybe it’s one of those Horde Cultists, they worship everything HE does” Celestia guesses.
Luna’s nose wrinkles in disgust at this, “Then he’s just as bad as that monster!”
Cadance peers deeply at you. “He seems familiar though…It’s his eyes. Like a…changeling’s eyes.”
The cold hard glare she gives you makes you whimper in fear as Celestia peers as well and says,
"A changeling? Here? Now?” She pears at you more deeply, “Maybe he is a survivor?"
Luna shakes her head as she says,
"That's impossible sister, she wiped them all out."
You gain a look of confusion at what she said, but before you can ask what she meant Cadence says,
"Even his voice sounds familiar…I can’t place it. WHO ARE YOU?!"
As the Princesses begin to talk, you begin to slowly move your power glove at them. When they’re in range you call out
"Would You Kindly Freeze!"
As the ice attack gets out from the gauntlet, Celestia gets a surprised look and release you. When she does you don't take chances as you jump over them and begin to run down the hallway and turning around the corridors so that they don't find you.
You take a left down the hallway not noticing solar flank teleporting in front of you startling you enough to give her hoof in the face
Which only works for about a second before Celestia teleports right in front of you.
“Eeep!” you cry out startled and rear your legs up. Because of your momentum and reflexive move, you pop Celestia right in the nose. Something she clearly wasn’t suspecting.
“OW! Motherbuck! Why the nose?!” she cries out while holding her snout as you run around her and give her the slip.
After a long run (2 minutes) you begin to feel without breath and begin to slow.
You hide inside another closet as you watch your pursuer’s shadows pass by under the door. When you’re certain that they're gone you let out a sigh of relief and get out of the closet.
When you do you walk over to a nearby window to see if you can figure out where you are. As you look out from the window you gain a surprised look as you see something...saddening. A big group of unicorns, half of them foals, mainly the age of the Crusaders, as they are trained to fight. You can see Sweetie Belle, one of Nightshade's friends. She wasn't alone, as you could see her with other unicorns foals and teens and adults… and a strange dark unicorn with a red curved horn eating what seems to be a Crystal. No pegasi or earth ponies are around so maybe they are training somewhere else. You guess that either these guys didn't hear the alarm (somehow) or that they were ordered to stay here
You hear a gasp of shock from within you mind as Selena says sadly,
The Princesses of this dimension are surely desperate if they are using him..
You don't know who Selena is talking about, but you assume it has to be the strange looking unicorn. You’re about to walk away from the window to try and find the vault, when you see that it's Sweetie's turn with a dummy, a dummy that resembles the hooded offender. You decide to stay around to see what would happen,
"Channel your rage! All of you! Think of how you hate him and use it to channel your magic!" Shouts the dark unicorn.
You see Sweetie Belle as she concentrate on her magic, when some purple bubbles begin to appear around her horn and a beam of magic blows the dummy to pieces! As the ashes of he dummy begin to fall, you see Sweetie glare at them as she says with a voice full of hatred,
"This is for my sister!"
You feel a spark of guilt at this, and you can't help but gulp in fear at the little filly's rage. But more importantly...
"What the buck was that!"
You cover your mouth as soon as you shouted that as all the ponies look up at you. The dark unicorn grins evilly at you as he shouts,
"An intruder... perfect... Attention! The one that gets the head of the intruder is going to have an hour of free time!"
As soon as he said that a barrage of magic is shot at you. You give a "yip" sound as you duck to avoid the beams of death. When they start to die down you get up again and look out the window to see the unicorns entering the Palace form the lower floor. You gulp in fear as you think,
Oh buck I better get out of here. But what kind of magic did they just shoot at me?
Dark Magic, a very powerful force. It’s also very dangerous because it begins to corrupt the mind of those that use it without precaution. To think that Celestia is making those foals use it… what kind of monster have we become that they think of using foals and dark magic against us?
You can't help but wonder that yourself, but you'll have to think about it another time as you hear hoofsteps coming from your left. You make a break for it down the hallway, but you run into a dead end. As you hear the hoofsteps getting closer you decide to use your head by jumping out of a nearby window.
...
What? I said you used it, I didn't say you used it safely.
Anyway, you hope that you land on a nice soft patch of grass or a hay bale, but instead you end up landing on top of a grumpy looking griffon.
"Great, I was forced to train these stupid pegasi while my fellow griffons went out to battle and now somgriffon decides to crash on top of me."
You look and see the griffon under you, and a group of pegasi around, one of them a certain orange filly.
"Soldiers, Take him!" Shouted the griffon.
You yell in fear as you jump off the griffon and start to make a run for it as the pegasi chase after you. You eventually get back upstairs only to run into the group of unicorns again. With another shout of fright you make a hard turn. You hear the pegasi and the unicorns slam into each other.
But sadly for you not all of them got knocked down. You start to run even faster as you shout out,
"Doctooooor!!! Where areee you!!!"
The hoard of ponies begin to catch up with you, but you manage to turn around the corner before they could. And you see the Doctor and Derpy running straight at you.
“Oh mother bu…” you cry out as you slam into both of them.
“Ouch!”
“Oof!” cry the Doctor and Derpy.
You end up in a pile, and the group of pegasi and unicorns and the guards chasing the Doctor an Derpy close in on you.
Thinking quickly, you pull out a smoke bomb and chuck it towards the group. Thankfully it goes up, so you grab the Doctor and Derpy and teleport them out…unfortunately you only teleport around the corner as you can still hear the group you just gassed. As the voices get closer, you shove them through the nearest door and close it gently, just in time. You listen at the door, and when all is silent, you let out a sigh of relief.
“Alright, they’re gone now. Let’s never split up again,” you say to the Doctor.
The Doctor doesn't look at you as he simply stares behind you with an unrecognizable look. Derpy on the other hoof looks terrified by whatever it is that their staring at. You get up from the door and turn around to see what they’re looking at. When you do, you can't help but gulp in fear as you see...
You stumble through a big set of doors and run into the middle of the room before you realize where you are. As you look back and see a smirking Cadence the throne room doors shut and lock and magical bars fall in front of the windows.
After you give them the slip (via smoke bomb, Look a distraction! And a teleport that went right for once, you overhear a messenger arrive and say Fillydelphia has just fallen.
You see a smirking Cadance standing not 10 feet from you. Her horn lights up and the door behind you locks, as well as the windows gaining a blue glow.
“Oh Buck,” you whimper.
“Now intruders, we seem to have some privacy, you mind telling me what you’re doing breaking into this castle?” she asks.
“Oh, we’re not intruders, we just go lost and…” the Doctor begins.
She zaps the wall above your heads, singing it.
“Don’t Lie To Me!” she shouts.
You gulp in fear.
“You in the hat!” she yells pointing at you, “Why do you seem so bucking familiar to me? Who are you?!” she asks.
“W-well…I’m…Baker Sylvester Tennant,” you whimper out.
She narrows her eyes at you “Is that supposed to mean anything to me?” she asks.
“N-no, probably not,” you say with a gulp.
“You’re probably a trio of those Horde Cultist Nutjobs aren’t you?” she accuses.
“What? No, I disbande-" you are elbowed by Derpy, something Cadance doesn’t miss. “I Mean, no of course not!” you hastily finish.
She zaps you with magic and you hit the door.
“I said not to lie to me Cultist!” she yells.
“But we’re no…” you try to say as you weakly get up from the floor.
“Your kind is sick. You were led by a terrorist that blew up half of your city and you worship a monster! A MONSTER! Even after my husband (she chokes up a bit) captured him, you still carried on his ways! But guess what, Flag Burner was executed! And your precious Nightmare will destroy what’s left of Fillydelphia all the same!” she angrily rants.
You realize what she’s saying. Without the Doctor, or you, Flag Burner succeeded in his plans. You look at her with fear from this revelation as you plead,
“But we’re not Cultists! We Swear!”
“Oh really?” she says skeptically, “Then why do you three have the presence of the Nightmare on you?”
“Well…uh…you see…” you begin, before you are interrupted by a pegasus flying through the window.
“Your Majesty! I bring urgent news!” says the bleeding and injured stallion holding a letter.
She glares at you. “Don’t you move,” she threatens.
Cadance turns her attention to him and she reads the letter, and her face turns solemn.
“Oh no…Oh Sweet Celestia no…” she says.
She drops the letter and the wind from the window blows it towards you. You pick it up.
“I’m afraid it’s true ma’am. Fillydelphia has fallen to the Nightmare…what was left of it anyway” says the messenger.
She begins to start crying and you take this chance escape. You teleport once more, and only end up on the other side of the door. You don't know rather or not to consider this lucky, but you decide to think on it later when you hear Cadence call out,
“Hey!”
You, the Doctor, and Derpy begin to run from the room the messenger’s words still fresh in your mind. As you, the Doctor, and Derpy eun away you shake your head to clear your mind over Flag as you look over to the Doctor and ask,
"Okay Doc, how much farther are we from the vault?"
The Doctor looks around as you all run before saying,
"I'd say we’re almost there. I saw a sign a while back pointing this way. Just a little farther and we’ll be at the vault."
You nod your head at this information as you all turn around the corner. But as you turn the corner you realize that...
“Seriously? Complete your hallways stupid castle designers!” you gripe.
As you search for a way out, you see the next window, conveniently having been opened!
You, the Doctor and Derpy hang onto dear life to the window sills while crawling to another window towards the other side of the dead end wall.. As you re-emerge into another hallway, you see someone you remember from Ponyville: Bon Bon. Only she is wearing sun glasses and is dressed in a suit. With some sort of metal band around her right hoof.
"Wha...", you begin to ask, just to be shushed by her. She gestures you all to follow her. She leads you to a hidden door on a wall and leads you into it. Once you exit another door, you find yourself in yet another hallway. She looks she says,
"We should be far away enough. Do not ask why I am helping you, just know I know where you come from. Who you are. The Royal Vault is down this hallway, next corner left. Here, take this.”
She hands you a metal orb and the Doctor gets a good look at her wrist band to which he gasps.
“Uh…”
“Put it in your coat, you’ll need it,” she says. “Do not ask who I am, just know I’m a friend” she says as she pushes a button on her band and disappears.
You, the Doctor, and Derpy can only stare at where she used to be in confusion before the Doctor snaps out of it,
The Doctor contemplates going to Torchwood for help repairing the TARDIS, but then remembers that since he didn't exist in this universe, neither does Torchwood
“Torchwood!” he exclaims while slapping his forehead. “Why didn’t I even think of them? With they’re technology and Jack’s help we’ll be able to…oh wait no…no no no,” the Doctor mumbles
“They wouldn’t be here now would they…since I’m not in this universe.” he says sadly before sighing.
“But what about Bon Bon there? Clearly she’s an agent.”
“Yes, but not from this Universe! Which means she’s one of ours.”
“But how’d she get here?” asks Derpy.
“They must have Cross Dimensional Technology available to them,” the Doctor sighs, “but that’s a can of worms to open later, right now we have to get to the vault!” he says as he trots off.
“Wait, if they can travel across Dimensions, why didn’t they help us? Why only this orb?”
“Because clearly this is the past for them, and it’s something we can handle...for the most part. Seems Jack is finally listening to me if only partially,” he says with a smirk,“But enough of that, to the diffuser.”
You and Derpy nod your heads at this as you all head off towards where Bon Bon's directions led.
Looks like Bon Bon was telling the truth as you all find the long hallway full of stain glass windows, the Doctor gets to work on opening the vault. Meanwhile you and Derpy go to both ends to watch out for any guards.
The Doctor puts his sonic screwdriver into the horn hole and activates it.
The Doors slide open immediately.
“There, that wasn’t so hard was it?” says the Doctor, “Now if only the TARDIS wouldn’t be so picky about magic.”
As the Doctor begins to look for the Diffuser, you can't help but ask him,
"Hey Doc, how come the Princess knew I was…me, the other me until they saw this disguise?"
The Doctor, still looking through the vault, answers you as he says,
"Well, I would have to guess they had a Nightmare magic detection spell or something like that cast on them. What with the other you being made of it, it would have made sense that they would cast a spell to detect him. When they saw you it must have sent the spell off. Luckily the perception filter caused them to doubt this. I should have known through, I'm smarter than this, to just ignore magic like that. You see this is way I hate magic, you can't explain it and it's too darn confusing to explain. In fact one time around-"
You interrupt the Doctor before he could go on in his rant as you say,
"Alright alright Doc, I get it. Magic is annoying and got us found out. Just hurry up and grab the Diffuser and let’s go, they can catch up at any moment.”
“Hold your horses Bugze, this vault has quite a few trinkets in it,” he says as he begins buzzing his screwdriver over all the things within.
“Alright alright…” you mumble.
As the Doctor searches, you figure you have a chance to read what’s on the note Cadance dropped.
I
t's elaborated that after the "Hearth's Warming Eve Uprising", the city was taken over by the Horde (now a Hooded Offender-based doomsday cult that believes it will be spared due to their faith) due to the rest of Equestria being busy with Nightmare Bugze Coincidentally, Fillydelphia was the last city to fall before Canterlot, but when Nightmare Bugze arrived, he ordered them all to fight to the death claiming the survivors will be his chosen. The city then erupted in a violent "Kingsman"-style melee with all the ponies slaughtering each other with religious fervor as NB proceeded to stroll through the free-for-all, munching on junk food and providing commentary like a tourist in a funhouse.
To the Princesses of Equestria,
The City of Fillydelphia has been destroyed by the Nightmare. The Horde has torn it and everything alive in there apart. Our suspicions proved true, the Nightmare did in fact contact his radical followers. However, unlike our theories, he did not organize them into an army. Instead he used his status and preyed on their beliefs. He ordered them to all fight to the death to prove their loyalty, and that only 6 of them would be chosen to be his followers. It was a blood bath. Hundreds died as they carried out his deed, bringing buildings down and destroying everything in sight while the Nightmare sat back and watched. At the end, six members were left standing…and he killed them when they knelt before him, laughing as he did so. He then proceeded to destroy anything left standing. Our information comes from a surviving horde member, who was buried under debris. Even as he told us this, he still pledged allegiance to that monster. May Faust Save Us All,
Captain Stainless Steel.
Your hooves shake as you finish reading. You feel woozy at the images that pop into your head. The horrible things the other you did. You lean against the wall to catch your breath and in doing so you see the window you’re at telling a story in images.
You see the one glass window from when Nightmare Moon was defeated.
Such elegance for my weakest moment… Selena mutters.
The Next window shows the Cadance and Shining armor blasting all the changelings away. And there’s also a stain glass of the Mane 6 beating Discord…but next to it is a window covered by a sheet, in fact, there appear to be a whole row of covered windows.
You take down the nearest one, and it is horrifying.
The stain glass window shows the Mane 6 broken and beaten on the floor surrounded by a burning village. Standing above them is a dark figure. It has 4 orange glowing eyes, 9 fox tails, sharp tusks that look as sharp as a sword and large horns that look even sharper. Your breath catches in your throat at the sight as flashes from Shadow Bugze’s memory come forth.
You go to the next window and uncover it. It shows Manehattan being destroyed by the creature with large meteorites.
The Next Window Shows The Everfree being set ablaze by it.
The Next, The Creature and the Princesses, Fighting over a destroyed Ponyville, as Cadance holds a dead Shining Armor.
You assume the other windows show more of what you…he’s done.
Your eyes begin to well with tears, so you look away, and notice Derpy looking at you with tears in her eyes as well.
She gives you a hug. You cry into her shoulder a bit.
“Why…why would they make these?” you ask.
“This hallway shows all the significant moments of Equestria’s history…the good and the bad, the windows make themselves” she responds.
“I don’t want this to be true…I won’t let this be true,” you say to her.
“And it won’t Bugze, it won’t, I promise, it won’t,” she says.
You feel better hearing her say that to you.
You release from the hug and smile at her, you then blow your nose into the next curtain covering, and it falls down revealing something blood wrenching.
Unlike the other windows, you…HE is not in it, but still, it’s not a happy piece. It shows what can only be described as Genocide. You see Changelings, hundreds of changelings all broken, mutilated and crying. There are piles of their bodies burning with green blood covering the ground. You see the image of your former Queen, her horn broken, being stabbed by a grisly looking pony with furious eyes. The pony looks familiar…
"Bugze, can you help me out here! There's a statue blocking the way to the Diffuser."
You sigh as you shake off the massacre in front of you as you head over to the Doctor, but as you do a knife flashes by and sticks into the stone pillar you were just standing in front of. Derpy lets out a shriek as you turn to where the knife came from and shout,
"Hey! Who did that? You almost took my head off!"
Your question is left unanswered as a familiar voice calls out creepily,
"Intruders in the castle huh? Trying to hurt the princesses? Trying to hurt more friends?"
You gulp in fear at the amount of malice that came off of that sentence. You look over to Derpy and see the Doctor with her, staring at the dark hallway in fear as he says,
"Oh no no no! She shouldn't be here! Not here, not now..."
You start to get nervous because if the Doctor is afraid of something, then it can't be good. You look back at the dark hallway as you see a glint of a metal prosthetic leg come out of the dark. You stare at it in fear as the rest of the pony comes out of the darkness.
And you don't know whether be terrified of happy.
For the pony who came out of the dark hallway has a pink mane that's completely straight. The rest of her pink body is covered in scars, and a shade darker than what it was. Her front left prosthetic leg goes all the way up to the shoulder, and is shiny and chrome. The pink pony stares at you with emotionless eyes as she takes out more blades from her saddle bag. They all look extremely painful and really sharp. What's worse is that all the blades are drenched with dried green blood. You stare at the pony and gulp in fear as pure utter terror takes over you. There’s no doubt about it, this is the pony in that Changeling Massacre Window. It's even worse when the pink pony smiles at you insanely and says a sentence drenched in malice,
"Not on my watch."
Your hooves start to shake in fear as you confirm three things.
One, Pinkie Pie is alive and kicking.
Two, She wants to kill you.
And Three, SHE IS BUCKING INSANE!
What do you do?
Episode 77: The Pink Death, Pinkamena! (Season Finale Part 4)
As the Pink Pyscho stares you down with the most unsettling look you've ever seen, you hear Selena say in your head,
I feel a darkness coming from her even stronger than Sombra's.
You gain a look of confusion as you think,
Who?
*sigh* The dark unicorn with the red curved horn teaching dark magic.
Ohhhh... Wait. She's worse?! So does that mean she has dark magic empowering her even more than her usual Pinkie self?
You hear Selena give another annoyed sigh as she says,
No you idiot. She's an Earth Pony, they can't use magic.
You gain a deadpanned look as you say outloud,
"Look, if there's anything I've learned from my life, it's that you never underestimate Pinkie Pie. If she wants to do something, she will."
Pinkie finally stops giving you her creepy look as she asks menacingly,
"Who are you talking to. Dead-Intruder-Walking?"
You give a "eep" sound as you answer her quickly to avoid a stabby death,
"Oh... um, the other voice inside of my head. She's usually is a voice of reason and common sense for me even through she tends to egg me on to break things when she really hates somepony. And we were arguing about if it is possible for you to use magic. She said you can't and I disagree."
Pinkie gains a look of... insane amusement as she says,
"Okay then, carry on. That's kind of amusing. I think I'll kill you last."
With that said she starts to turns away from you and starts to walk towards the Doctor and Derpy. You nod your head at this as you say,
"Okay tha-wait WHAT!?"
You fool, protect The Doctor and Derpy from the pink psycho before we lose our only chance of getting out of here!
You quickly nod you head and start to run after Pinkie as you think,
Right! On it!
You managed to reach Pinkie just as she was about to bring her blade down on the Doctor (who was standing protectively in front of Derpy). Thinking quickly you jump at Pinkie with your hoof reared as you shout,
"FALCON PUNCH!"
You flam-encased hoof slams into the back of Pinkie's head sending her flying away from the prone ponies. You give a huff before you look at the Doctor and say,
"Phew, that was a close one huh Do-"
DODGE!
You automatically heard Selena's shout as you jump backwards a few feet. Just in time too as six blades get embedded into the ground where you were just at. You gulp in fear as you look back to see Pinkie walking towards you with a emotionless face. She ignores the Doctor and Derpy completely as she walks past them. As she starts to pick up her blades she says,
With that she throws the blade at you. You give a shout of shock as you quickly dodge to the left and look at pinkie as she starts to slowly walk towards you while brandishing two more blades covered with dried green changeling blood. You gulp in fear as you think,
Selena, any ideas that won't turn me into swish cheese or chopped liver?
You hear Selena hum for a second before she says,
While I would usually suggest beating your foe to the ground before tearing her limbs off, perhaps we should try a diplomatic approach for once. She looks angry, so try calming her down.
I don't think that's gonna work, but what the hay?
With that thought you gulp slightly before awkwardly saying,
"Pinkie my friend, you're alive! How is everypony doing?"
"They're dead." Pinkie says in a non-friendly tone.
You shiver in disgust as you get flashes back to how they died, but you shake it off as you say,
"Oh I'm so so sorry to hear that. Listen me and my friends here are kinda in a hurry so... would you please move along with your knives that are covered in changeling blood-" You hold back some vomit when you see the blades again as you try to not imagine just how they were used to get that much blood on them. You shake it off as you continue, "A-and pretend you never saw us?"
You stare at Pinkie in fear as she doesn't move at all. She's just staring at the floor in a daze. You gain a look of worry as you ask,
"Uh... Pinkie Pie... are you ok-"
Her head snaps back up at you as she says in a deadly tone,
"My isn't Pinkie Pie... MY NAME IS PINKAMENA!"
She lunges at you with two blades aimed at your head. You freeze up in fear, but you snap out of just in time as you dive away from her and her blades sink into the ground. She tries to pull them out, and as she does you take advantage of it as you think to Selena,
Okay....that didn't work at all. I guess I'll just try to reason with her, maybe find why she is so angry and why she killed all those changelings.
I thought you hated those roaches for making your youth so miserable?
Hate is a... strong word. Besides even I... IT had a reason for everything it's done so she has got to have some reason for killing them all, and I wanna know why.
When you finished your thought you see Pinkie lunging at you again and you barley managed to dodge Pinkie in time again as you roll away from her. You get back up and turn around to see her blades stuck in the ground again. Seeing your chance you ask,
"Pinkie! I saw the window, why did you kill of them? Why did you slaughter all those changelings?"
Pinkie ignores you as she manages to unstuck her blades and lunges at you again. You dodge again, but this time her blades don't get stuck as she turns to face you with a emotionless face.
"They had it coming for a long time. I just sped up the process."
This time she starts to try and stab you instead of lunging, and you barely manage to dodge each strike as you ask,
"Why? Is it because of what happened at the wedding?"
"No. This is about hurting my friends!"
She does a heavy slash towards your face, but you barely managed to duck as you say,
"But I thought I-the Nightmare killed them?"
Pinkie's face shows a emotion for once as it twists in rage before she says while still trying to stab you,
"He did! But that wasn't the reason. The reason was because the Nightmare was a changeling! If one of those bugs could become that monster, then maybe the rest could! So I decided to exterminate them all before that can happen!"
Your eye widen at this, but soon you give her a cold glare as you dodge another one of her blades. Pinkie just stares at you for a few seconds before she turns to... us (the Hive Mind)?
"Readers please hold him still so I can put a smile on his!" she says as she gains a very evil and scary grin.
"Who are you talking to?" you asked
"Oh the commenters and readers that tell you what to do"
Deciding play along with Pinkie's insanity in hopes of living longer you shout out,
"Okay... Commenters and readers if you are there well SAVE ME!"
Suddenly, as soon as you said that, a disembodied voice shouts out,
BUCK YOUR CUPCAKES!
*CRASH*
The next thing you know, a grand piano smashes onto Pinkie's head! Then there's a flash of light as a large Naco and a large mug of Butterbeer appear in your hooves. You stare at the food items in shock as Derpy shouts,
"Hey! What about me?!"
Soon there's another flash as a muffin pops into existence and boops Derpy on the nose. She smiles as she eats the muffin along while you shrug and eat the sudden food (you haven't eaten in a while anyway).
After your meal, you say,
"Thanks, I needed th- Wait... WHAT THE BUCK JUST HAPPENED?!"
"Simple..."
You gulp as you turn around to see...
Pinkie standing with barely a scratch on her! You gulp in fear as you see that even though a bucking grand piano smashed onto her head, she merely has a small scar on her head. She just stares at you as she continues,
"The Commenters and Readers clearly need a visit. They all need a smile if they're helping you..."
You finally get annoyed from Pinkie's madness as you shout,
You try to pull a Psycho Crusher on her, but she hops over you, grabs you by the leg and spin slams you into the ground, causing a crater.
"PSYCHO CRUSHER!"
You lunch at Pinkie, but but she hops over you, grabs you by the leg with her prosthetic arm, and spin slams you into the ground with enough force to cause a crater. You give a moan of pain as you ask in a dazed voice,
"Oooohhh... what happened?"
However you soon regret asking as Pinkie's face appears inches away from your's as she whispers,
"Simple... you made me mad!"
With that she lifts you up and smashes you back and forth on the ground before she throws you next to the Changeling Massacre window. You slide off the wall in pain and start to see double, but you shake your head to lose the double vision. When you do you see Pinkie stalking towards you causing you to give a frighten 'eep' as you desperately...
At one point, you grab some broken glass and throw it at her, cutting her cheek. She just glares at you, touches her hoof to the cut, then stares at you in a sinister manner as she licks the blood off. You think you peed a little seeing that.
Smash the Changeling Massacre window behind you with your window causing a shard of the window to fall down next to you. This seems to enrage Pinkie as she starts to charge at you, but you grab the shard and quickly throw it at the pink psycho, cutting her cheek.
This seems to stop her as she stops her charge, but she just glares at you, touches her hoof to the cut, then continues glaring at you in a sinister manner as she licks the blood off.
...
You think you peed a little seeing that. And as if Pinkie can smell your fear she says,
"Oh, are you scared? You should be, cause nopony draws my blood... and lives!"
You just give a silent scream of fear as you get up and try to make a run for it, but you don't get far as Pinkie grabs your trench coat with her prostetic arm and...
Lifts you up into the air before violently throwing you behind her causing you to slam into the Doctor and both of you hit a wall. As you and the Doctor get up you see a spiked dog collar in his hoof. You get a look of confusion as you ask,
"Uh Doc, why do you have a dog collar with you?"
He looks at you strangely before he gets a look of understanding as he says,
"Oh this!" He gestures to the collar before he continues, "This my dear boy is the Diffuser we've been looking for. Now all we have to do is lose... her... and we can get back to the TARDIS."
You nod your head, before you gain a look of horror as you point behind the Doctor and say,
"Uh yeah... about losing her."
The Doctor turns around in fear as he sees Pinkie advancing on the both of you. You and the Doctor take a step back in fear, but before she can reach the both of you.
*shatter*
Derpy drops a vase on her head from above, but Pinkemena just looks up with a scary look on her face at Derpy.
“Oh… My Bad?” Derpy falters.
With a snarl, Pinkie jumps on the nearest wall and begins climbing it like a freaking Spider, to get closer to Derpy so the wall-eyed pegasus flies to keep avoiding her, but Pinkie continues to chase her by bounding from wall to wall.
*snap*
Your eyes start to glow orange as you see Derpy in danger as you declare,
"That’s it! No one tries to harm one of my friend on my watch. Selena! Time to-!”
“NO YOU FOOL!” The Doctor exclaims as he pulls your panama hat over your eyes.
“Hey! Cut it out Doc, I gotta-”
“If you use any of your Nightmare Powers now, they’ll think you are HIM!”
Your eyes unglow at that as you mutter “Oh… right…”
The Doctor lifts your hat and looks into your eyes.
“And you, Night Goddess, keep his eyes from glowing at all costs!”
“You’re not in charge of me, Time Lord." Selena growls at him via temporary control of your mouth.
“In charge or not, just do it, otherwise I can’t ensure your safety.” he firmly counters.
“Fine…” she says in frustration.
Your about to listen to what the Doctor is about to say, but you ignore him as you hear a scream and see Pinkie almost tear out one of Derpy's wings with her blade. You growl in anger as you say,
"Okay Doc; One: Don't get in my way when I'm protecting ponies I like. Two:" You whip out the Power Glove before continuing, " The Nightmare Cloak isn't the only trick up my sleeve so would you kindly BUCK OFF!"
Using the 'Bucking Bronco' plasmid, you send a quake that hits Pinkie and suspends her helplessly in the air. You quickly follow it up by declaring,
"Would you kindly BURN..."
Pinkamena's hair burst into flames causing her to let out an enraged pained yell as the Doctor yells,
Using the Telekinesis plasmid, you pull the flaming psycho towards you as the Doctor dodges out of the way, catch her face in the palm of your glove, and turn to smash her head into the window depicting her changeling genocide.
"...AND EAT LIGHTNING!"
With that, you electrocute Pinkamena point-blank in the face causing her to give out a muffled cry under your glove. With her stunned, you rear your hoof back and declare,
"FALCON PUNCH!!!"
As you send a flame-encased hoof smashing into the Pink Psycho's face with enough force to smash her through the window of her changeling genocide and knocking her into the courtyard below.
"Bugze! Why'd you do that for!" Derpy exclaims.
"It's Pinkie, she'll be fine... probably." you say the last part uncertainly.
Based on those slasher flicks in your memory, we'd be lucky if that merely slowed her down.
True, only the final virgin mare can "slay" the slasher so I guess that'll be Derpy's job.
I believe the wall-eyed pegasus has a daughter if you haven't forgotten that...
Your mental discussion of slasher tropes is interrupted when the Doctor says,
"Bugze, I can not stress enough how you must NOT fight-"
"Pacifism may be your thing Doc, but it sure as Tartarus ain't my style." you say.
"Darn it Bugze, this beha-"
"Oh change the bucking tune Doc! I swear if I hear one more lecture about how 'this is why you become the Nightmare' I'm gonna Falcon Kick you in all 4 of your nards!" you snap.
"Bugze, listen t- Wait, what?! Why would you think I have that many?"
"Well Time Lords have 2 hearts so I thought, you know, that you would have 2 pairs of-"
"Doc, Bugze, I think we better go..." Derpy interrupts your discussion of Time Lord anatomy as you realize that commotion might have alerted more guards.
You nod your head as your about to say something when the Doctor says,
BrownDog's Comment
"No you fool, I didn't want you to make her angry. She's much worse when she's angry..." he says with fear.
"OH come on, what am I supposed to do? Die or run? I'm a warrior Doc, not some damsel in distre-*stick* eeeeeeeeeessssss" you finish in a high pitch voice as a knife lodges into your front left forearm you were pointing at the Doc with.
Luckily, the wound isn't that deep thanks to your coat and your healing factor stops the bleeding almost immediately. You turn to the broken window where the knife came from and see... her there, a bit singed, but with an angry face.
"It's been awhile since prey hurt me, not since that stupid Bug Queen..." she then smiles. "And for that, you won't die quickly," she says as she charges you with great speed causing you to freak out as you quickly shout,
"FUS RO DAH!"
Your roar of power sends Pinkie smashing out another covered window (which showed the monster crashing Cloudsdale into Vanhoover). You give a sigh of relief as Derpy says,
"The guards were bound to hear that, we gotta move!"
You nod your head as you say,
"Derpy's right. We got what we came for. Let's get outta here and qu-"
Your sentence is interrupted when a voice from above says,
"You're... not... going anywhere..."
The three of you gulp in fear as you all look up and see...
This is the last straw for the three of you as you all yell in pure terror,
"BUCK THIS S%#%! LET'S GET THE BUCK OUTTA HERE!"
Before you teleport you and your group down the hall.
"Alright, maybe I did buck up a bit," you admit to the Doc.
"Ya think?" he says.
"Oh definitely," says Pinkamena right behind you.
"Gyaaaaaggggghhhh!!!!" you all scream as you run away.
With that you all begin to runaway as fast as you all can with the pink demon following you from the ceiling. You all try to lose her but no matter where you go she pops up. As you all turn a corner and run a good distance away you stop and turn around to see how close she is. You and the others wait a bit and you think that she must have lost you all, but sadly for you she pops around the corner on the ceiling and heading right towards you. You give a shriek as a voice in your head shouts,
Right... Oh wait, where am I supposed to get a gun?
You check yourself to try and find something to shoot her in The Inventory...
But it's not there!
"Oh... buck."
It is then that you remembered that you are still wearing the Power Glove. So thinking quickly you aim at the Pink devil and shout,
"Would you kindly BURN YOU PSYCHO!"
The Power Glove is pointed at Pinkie dead on and sets her mane on fire... only for her to stop and give you a raised brow before she nonchalantly likes her hoof and quickly runs it through her mane to put out the flames. You all stare at her in fear as you say,
"Uh... runaway in comedic fashion... AHHHHHH!"
With that the chase is back on as you, the Doctor, and Derpy turn tail and run for it. You all start to turn corners and try to lose her only to...
Eventually you round a corner and she strikes you all into falling into a pile, and she throws a net on you three. “Stupid little spies, you think you’re just going to walk out of here? Huh? From ME?!” She pulls out a blade. “I’m the last of the Elements of Harmony, I’m the reason the Changelings are Extinct, and I’m the one who is going to Kill the Nightmare! What makes you Horde Cultists think that you’re going to be leaving alive?!”
Eventually you round a corner and somehow, all three of you run straight into her outstretched metal arm, clotheslining you all to the ground. If that wasn't bad enough, a net falls on all three of you, and it isn't tiny.
“Stupid little spies, you think you’re just going to walk out of here? Huh? From ME?!”
She pulls out a blade.
“I’m the last of the Elements of Harmony, I’m the reason the Changelings are Extinct, and I’m the one who is going to Kill the Nightmare! What makes you Horde Cultists think that you’re going to be leaving here alive?!”
You all continue to struggle until you finally ask,
"Errr...would you believe me if I say I'm not a member of the Horde?"
Pinkie begins to walk towards you, knife drawn, as if she didn't hear you. You start to panic even more as you ask
"Emm...Err...how about you leave us alone and... uhh... make a party instead?"
That only seems to make the pink pony even more angry as she starts to get even closer. You start to get desperate as you say,
"Come on, Pinkie Pie, smile...and not kill us brutally."
"No more Pinkie Pie... Only Pinkamena. For what your master did in Applelossa, in Ponyville, I can never forgive that. You most certainly will die..."
Pinkie raises her knife in the air and is about to bring it down when you quickly say,
"Stop Pinkie! Come on I'm your friend or well, a friend with another you, but a friend. Can't you let me go?"
"Let me think... NO! And I'm Pinkamena, Pinkie is dead! Like all of her friends, she died that day in Appleloosa. Anyone who remembered her died when Ponyville was attacked, like Mister Cake, Matilda, Granny Smith, Gummy...and the others. And soon you're going to join the rest of your kind, in Tartarus!"
With that Pinkie swings down her knife right at your head. Your eyes widen as you try to save your hide by quickly asking...
The blade stops inches away from your skull as Pinkie lets out an insane laugh before she says with a sadistic smile,
"How? With plenty of metal and fire that's how,"
"But why? Why kill all the changelings when The Nightmare is out there?" you ask.
She glares at you as she says,
"I already told you, I made sure that none of them became the Nightmare!"
You glare back (which is probably not a good idea) as you say,
"That's not true and you know it! There can only be one Nightmare and there is one! The Changelings could never become it. What's the real reason for that senseless genocide?!"
She stops, and anger returns to her face.
"Senseless?...SENSELESS?!" she fumes.
You gulp, but continue.
"I mean surely you could've used their help in a time like this? Maybe through sheer numbers they could have..."
"THEY LAUGHED!!!" she roars at you all throwing the knife to the side.
"Eep!" you cry, still trying to get out of the net.
"They all laughed at what happened!" she says with spit flying out of her mouth.
"Wha-w-wha..." you try to spit out.
"We did go to them, the princesses asked me to. They needed everypony they could get even though he's MINE...So I went to their prison, and I talked with that stupid Queen!" she says her eyes staring at nothing.
You're able to get the net untangled around your feet, so you slowly start getting it off the Doctor and Derpy.
"She wanted to know where Twilight was...so I told her..." she recounts with tears in her eyes. You just are about to get the net off, when she glares right at you.
"And She Laughed!" she shouts causing you to drop the net again.
"She laughed and laughed, and laughed... and then all the other bugs started laughing like it was the funniest joke they'd ever heard...heh heh, hahahahahahaha!!!!"
The laughter is emotionless and creepy...and a bit heartbreaking coming from her. She glares into your eyes and stops abruptly as a chainsaw blade juts out of her prosthetic arm.
"So I killed them... Every. Last. One. They didn't find that funny at all," she says with a sadistic smile.
You hear the Doctor give an audible gulp.
"Now they'll never laugh again...They deserved it. And no, maybe they wouldn't become another Nightmare, but I figured, 'Hey, the Nightmare's a Changeling, so I'll kill his friends and family like he killed mine!'" she says before gripping the starting pull handle with her other arm,
"And since you're Horde Cultists..." she revs the chainsaw before screaming, "YOU'RE ONE OF HIS OWN!'" she says as she raises her chainsaw arm and it looks like she's gonna slice you up for sure when...
“Stand Down Pinkamena!”
Pinkie turns around with a snarl but loses it when she sees it’s Celestia.
“I said Stand Down!” she orders.
"You have but one target left Pinkamena, only one!" urges Luna.
"Save it for HIM Pinkamena," finishes Cadenza.
Pinkie sighs before she sits on her haunches and sheathes her chainsaw back into her arm.
“As you wish Princesses.”
After that, all three of them point their horns towards you.
“Now, you three are intruders of my castle. Who are you? And what do you want?” says Celestia.
The Doctor answers.
"We are time travelers from another dimension, and if you want to end all the misery and mayhem from the Nightmare, we are your best shot."
They seemed shocked by this. While all you can do is roll your eyes and say,
"Wow, way to be subtle Doc."
"What ridiculousness do you speak?" asks Luna.
"Not ridiculousness, the truth," the Doctor says.
"What proof do you have, 'Time Traveler'?" says Celestia.
The Doctor points at Celestia.
"Your nickname is "Celie", your first cake was a chocolate and Red Velvet given to you for your 10th Birthday, and you're the Queen of Pranks." she looks shocked.
The Doctor then points to Luna as he says,
"You were Nightmare Moon, you had a pet Manticore whom you've never forgotten, and Princess Platinum ended up firm friends with you and accepted your right as a princess... after being totally humiliated and ejected from the castle at high speed." Luna looks shocked by this.
You stare at Luna in confusion as you think,
She had a pet Manticore... why does that make sense to me?
The Doctor points at Cadance, "And you are Mi Amore Cadenza, quite literally the reincarnation of Princess Amore from the crystal shard of her heart after her death at the hooves of King Sombra. I rescued you as a baby and dropped you off in the forest to be adopted by Earth Ponies before you were adopted as Celestia's niece"
You just have a blank look as you think,
...Whaaaaaaaattttttttttttt!? And how did the Doctor do that if he didn't exist in thi- Owowow! Paradox-induced headache!
He then points to Pinkie, and sighs, "You are Pinkamena Diane Pie, you were born on a rock farm with three sisters, the first time you ever felt true joy was when you witnessed the Sonic Rainboom performed by your friend Rainbow Dash."
She gasps at this, but then her eyes become steely once more.
"I haven't felt joy in a long time. Only when I end HIM will I truly be happy," she says to the Doctor.
The Doctor just looks at her sadly before Celestia speaks.
"How do you know all this," she asks.
"Because I'm the Doctor, I'm the last of the Timelords, I'm over 1,000 years old, I've fought countless enemies, and I travel through time and space at my leisure. These are my companions Ditzy "Derpy" Hooves, and Baker Sylvester Tennant."
Derpy stays quiet, but you being you can't help but say,
"Yo!"
"Then...why are you here, and why do you have the Nightmare's presence?" Luna asks.
"Because my TARDIS is on the fritz and as for the Nightmare... we've encountered him before," he says with a look to you, "And we stopped him from ever existing. This whole situation you've got going on here, I've already fixed it in my world, and I can fix this one too, I just need time to repair my TARDIS... free from harassment."
"How?" asks Cadance, "How will you fix this?"
"What part of 'Time Traveler' is confusing you?" he snarks.
"B-but, it's Impossible, not even Star Swirl could maintain a Time Spell," says Celestia.
"Oh you ponies and your magic, try turning to science once in a while on this bloody rock!" he chides when...
Your impromptu meeting with the princesses is interrupted when the castle wall explodes. When the dust settles you all see Flim and Flam standing next to a gnarly-looking cannon/wagon. "Sorry your majesties, just running the final tests on [insert a Flim and Flammy name for their weapon-invention]!" You suddenly spot a tray of cupcakes. Getting an idea, you grab the tray and yell, "FREE CUPCAKES ON ME!" Before tossing the whole tray at them, some of the sweet pastires splattering on the horns of the 3 alicorns (stunning them temporarily). A pink cupcake with rainbow sprinkles splatters on Pinkamena's eye causing her to cry out in pain, "THE FROSTING! IT BURNNNS!!! I CAN ONLY SEE A HORRIBLE RAINBOW!" With this distraction, you, the Doctor, and Derpy quickly make your exit.
*KA-BOOM*
An explosion blows up the wall next to you.
"Whoops, our bad!" shout a familiar pair of voices.
While everypony is distracted, you spot a tray of assorted cupcakes on a nearby table. Getting an idea you declare,
"FREE CUPCAKES ON ME!"
Before tossing the whole tray at the ponies, some of the sweet pastries splattering on the princesses harmlessly while a cupcake with rainbow sprinkles splatters on Pinkamena's eye causing her to cry out in pain,
"THE FROSTING! IT BURNNNS!!! I CAN ONLY SEE A HORRIBLE RAINBOW!"
"Whelp, that's our cue, ALLONS-Y!" the Doctor shouts as he drags you two out the newly made hole in the wall.
As he drags you out (after falling into a bush since you were on the second floor), you look over to see Flim and Flam working on some giant-techno-cannon-thing. But that's all you can tell as the Doctor quickly drags you off.
BACK WITH THE PRINCESS
Cadance then tells Luna and Celestia the news about Fillydelphia's fall. Celestia then realizes in horror that they sent the Griffins, Discord, and Tirek to (what's left of) Las Pegasus (which is far WEST of Canterlot) when Nightmare Bugze was actually in Fillydelphia (which is EAST of Canterlot).
"Sister, should we trust this 'Time Lord?' For all we know he was just one of the Nightmare's Cultists."
Celestia sighs as she says,
"I don't know sister, but this is the best chance of stopping the Nightmare once and for all. We'll just hope our forces in Las Pegasus can hold him off long enough for this Doctor to fix his time machine."
Cadence gets a sad look when Celestia says this as she says,
"Aunty... about the Nightmare being in Las Pegasus."
One explanation later
Celestia, Luna, and Pinkie have looks of pure horror on their faces as Celestia says,
"Mother of me! This is not good, not good at all!"
Luna, snapping out of it nods her head at her sister's words as she says,
"It is dear sister. We sent our forces to the wrong location! Las Pegasus is west of here, while Fillydelphia is east. If there's no one distracting the Nightmare now...."
Celestia's eyes widen in move in horror as she says,
"Then there's nothing from stopping it from coming here! Sound the alarms and arm the troops! The Nightmare could be here at any minute! PINKAMENA!"
Pinkie salutes at her name (having just gotten the sprinkles out of her eyes) as Celestia continues,
"Get to the Doctor and his companions now! If they're telling the truth then they are our only hope of ending this. When the Nightmare gets here they must not be stopped from fixing their machine. Protect them at all costs!"
Pinkie looks dejected as she says,
"But Princess you need me to fight the Nightmare! Besides, I'm gonna gut that trenchcoat-wearin-"
"THAT IS AN ORDER PINKAMENA DIANE PIE!!!" Celestia roars in the RCV causing Pinkie to slightly falter from the force of the shout, before she growls softly and says,
"Yes your highness."
With that she jumps out of the hole to find the Doctor.
Luna walks up to Celestia.
"Are you sure that was wise Sister? The last time you gave her an order, she murdered an entire species.
Celestia sighs as she says,
"If HE comes, her thirst for vengeance will distract him long enough that he shouldn't notice this Doctor or his friends...I just pray that they are telling the truth...."
"Sister..." Luna says in shock to the coldness of this plan, but is interrupted.
"Luna I want you to coordinate the defenses. I will contact Discord, Tirek, and the Griffin mercenaries."
Luna nods her head as she teleports somewhere. With it all said and done Celestia stares at the fallen city in sadness as Cadence asks,
"Aunty...what'll happen if this Doctor fails, or if we can't beat that monster?"
Celestia sighs again before she says,
"Then may the Maker help us all."
BACK WITH YOU, THE DOCTOR, AND DERPY
You all made it back to the TARDIS safe and sound, but judging by the alarm's going off and the panicking going on around you then there must be something bad coming, and soon.
You give the Doctor a small glare as you say,
"Never drag me again Doc! That hurt my hoof like heck!"
Shaking it off you ask,
"Anyway, we have the magic diffuser so let's fix the TARDIS and get out of here!"
The Doctor sighs sadly before he says,
"I wish it were that easy. We only have the diffuser, we still need a perfectly cut diamond about the size of a Polo Ball and some sort of power coupling to reverse the polarity of the neutron flow to fully fix the girl. Sadly neither of those were in the vault with the diffuser."
You sigh in annoyance as you say,
"Great! Not only do we not have all the parts to fix the TARDIS, but now you tell me the other parts aren't even here! Now we're gonna be stranded in this world for the rest of our lives with a psycho version of me trying the kill us! CAN THIS DAY GET ANY BUCKING WORSE!"
Suddenly you hear sirens going off all around Canterlot as civilians flee for shelter in a panic and guards of all races scramble to their stations.
You just HAD to invoke that cliche...
WHAT DO YOU DO?
Episode 78: Time For a Diamond Heist! (Season Finale Part 5)
With the sirens going off everywhere, you, the Doctor, and Derpy quickly rush inside the TARDIS. After the Doctor secures the Dog Collar Diffuser, he turns to you.
“Alright, we’re going to have to find that Diamond.”
“ Does it really have to be the size of a polo ball?” you ask.
“Well, technically it could be a little larger or smaller, but just so long as it can reflect the…” he then starts talking in techno-babble that you don’t understand. Having enough of the mumbo-jumbo that you'll never understand you interrupt him as you say,
“Alright, and where are we going to find that?”
The Doctor look annoyed at you interrupting him as he says,
“Well we have a few options, there are vast caverns within this mountain that have many kinds of gems, but bunkers and shelters have been made within them” he explains.
“Aren’t those the caverns Cadance was thrown in?” you ask.
“The very same, another option is we can try and take one from a celebrity or noble.”
“I say we go rob Blue(No)Balls, surely he can part with some,” you guess.
“Unfortunately, he fled Equestria weeks ago, taking his fortune with him,” the Doctor says in disgust.
“Greedy B&$%@#*, still I say we rob his house” you swear.
The Doctor shakes his head before he says,
“But fortunately there are still enough rich folks here, like Fancy Pants, Sapphire Shores, and others, surely they might have some.”
“Alright, so rob the rich first, if that fails, we go mining?”
“Pretty much,” the Doctor cheerfully says.
You sigh at this before you say,
"Well I guess we can rob Fancy Pants first. I heard Rarity talking about him, said he was the nicest noble shes ever meant. Hopefully he's as nice in this dimension as he is in ours."
The Doctor nods his head at this and is about to follow you out of the TARDIS, when Derpy suddenly asks,
The Doctor stops to look at her, brow raising. "Huh?"
"You know, being able to stop the Nightmare in this world?"
He pauses to consider the question, then says,
"Well, it's not like we are the only ponies to stop him. They have Pinkamena here! I'm sure she could take care of this world's Bugze."
"Yeah," you pipe in. "No kidding. Did you see how she just kept getting back up no matter what I hit her with? It's like she's a terminating cyborg from the future or something!"
Derpy seems to stare, a frown forming and a lazy eye straightening, as if she isn't satisfied with his answer. "Then why are we stalling?"
Now THAT makes you stop in shock, but the momentum forces you to trip over yourself and fall, slamming into a wall. "Wait, what?!" you shout, getting back up.
The Doctor is speechless, stuttering when he tries to say, "I, uh, D-Derpy! What are you talking about?"
"You know we've crashed before, Doctor, and we never had to run around finding this many things."
"But this is different!" The Doctor excuses.
"But we've crashed from worse! Even I made bigger dents into the TARDIS than Bugze, and we never do this!" Derpy sternly says.
Surprisingly, you discover that whenever her eyes are straight, she's like a mother sternly talking to a foal. Or maybe it is the other way around... Anyways, by that exchange, you see the Doctor just looks away, not denying it. After a moment, Derpy's expression softens as she says,
"I know you. You never turn away from ponies in need, even if they're from an entirely different universe. So, Doctor, what in Celestia's name are we building?"
What you see next stuns you. There it is, the spark in The Doctors eyes, something heroic... and perhaps an unyielding force of will behind it all.
"...Something to stop the Nightmare. To prevent it from truly coming to complete its destruction, stopping it in its tracks."
Still, even despite his short and sudden charismatic display of attitude, you still want to wring his neck for lying!
"Wait, you mean the TARDIS isn't really broken and we could've gone home THIS WHOLE TIME?!" you indignantly ask.
"No, no, no, no, no!" the Doctor quickly says, "The TARDIS IS damaged and at the very least, the power coupling is absolutely necessary for allowing the TARDIS to go back to our time, but the Diamond is still our top priority right now!"
However, something stops you. In his words, something... Stuck out to you. And it makes you feel like an idiot, more so than the last few times.
"Oh! OH, Buck!" you suddenly shout.
"I almost bucking forgot!"
"What?" The Doctor incredulously looks at you. "Bugze, what are you talking about?"
"I meant to ask you about it, but I never really got the chance until now!"
"Spit it out, Bugze, we are still on the run!"
"Look, throughout my time in Ponyville, I've been getting these... Images of a message. Noling could see it but me. Even Selena couldn't see them. Every message is the same: 'The Nightmare Comes'."
Just saying that phrase makes you shiver, but hopefully the Doctor will be able to explain it to you kn-
"...I'm afraid I don't quite understand the issue."
Your eyes widen in shock as you shout,
"WHAT!? Look Doc I'm not crazy! Flag Burner heard the message, too!"
"Wait, what?!"
"Yeah, and he said someling told him about it, told him to make the Fillydelphia Incident back at Harthswarming happen!" Finally, you've finally got tell him that! Even though you were still stuck in a universe were your a psychopathic monster, it's still good to get it off of your chest.
"Besides, if our universe is already saved from the Nightmare, then why is the 'Nightmare' still coming?"
The Doctor is yet again in shock, but this time it is in fear. Visible, unadulterated fear. "Our problem, I realize, is a whole lot worse than I thought."
"Why is it, Doctor?" Derpy asks.
"Well, really, it's just that the stakes are a whole lot higher now. It's only a theory, but I hope it is wrong," he begins. "This universe's Bugze is full of hatred so strong, that it can leak into another universe—our universe! That must be why we are here, the walls between realities have been thinned by his Rage. If we let it continue, and if the Nightmare succeeds into taking over this world, then the Nightmare would surely come into ours." Then he muttered darkly, still loud enough for you to hear, "And many lives will inevitably be lost in our world in the aftermath."
"In other words, we have two bucking worlds on our hooves, and the big baddy is my other self?" you ask.
The Doctor grimly nods.
"Buck you, Lady Luck!"
You shake off your anger for that bucking goddess as you say,
"Okay, so now we have even more of a reason to nab that Diamond! We fix the TARDIS and we stop the Nightmare. Cause now we got two worlds on the line if we don't."
The Doctor and Derpy nod their heads at your deceleration before the Doctor says,
"Wait Doc, Shouldn't we find out what those sirens are for? I mean it could be something really important!"
As you move to leave the TARDIS, you hear the Doctor shout,
"Bugze! Wait!"
"But we need to find out why the sirens are ringing." you respond as you turn around.
The Doctor looks at you, before laughing and then saying,
"And you seriously doubt that we can find that out WITHOUT going outside?"
"Well, there is no waaaa- You know something I don't, don't you?"
The Doctor give a smug smile before he says,
"Let me present to you: The interstellar and -chronic broadcast-messenger! Fully functional Television at any point in the galaxy for any show, movie, or serial at any time. Also useful for finding out what is causing others to panic WITHOUT running into the fray."
"Wait, didn't you use this to show me my... His rampage?"
"Yes..." The Doctor says sympathetically, "But it can also pick up radio and sound waves as well. Listen."
With that, the Doctor turns a few dials as you go back into the Main Control Room, you see said TV. Currently, it flickers before it shows you a blank screen before the speakers blast out,
"CITIZENS OF CANTERLOT! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! PLEASE CALMLY MAKE YOUR WAY TO YOUR NEAREST FALLOUT SHELTERS NOW!"
As Luna's RCV volume echoes through the TARDIS making all your ears hurt, the Doctor mercifully lowers the volume,
"DO NOT PANIC AND PLEASE DO NOT ROB AND/OR LOOT YOUR FELLOW PONIES. I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DR-"
Suddenly the announcement gets distorted and cut off by static as the screen suddenly flashes on and you see what seems to be a crimson-shelled changeling, transparent and surrounded by a pitch-black light-blocking substance. You can't help but notice that this crimson changeling seems wounded and tired,
"To whoever finds this... You have to stop us! I have fallen to what is widely known as the 'Nightmare', but that is not important! We are heading towards a large city..."
Oh? See! That's what you are. Weak, pathetic, needing to hope others do your work. You could be so much more... .
You ignore the annoyance that is your shadow as Selena says,
I just got an idea... That crimson changeling, could he be you? Or, well, this universe's you? Reaching out with the last of his sanity?
At this point a tentacle of the pitch black drills into the changeling's back,
"You don't have much time...", he coughs blood at this, "I was able to slow us down... Wrestle enugh control to get this message out to anyling that can here it... but I will vanish soon. Heh, I knew I was going to die a long time ago... So much rage and pain..."
The tentacle pumps darkness into him, dark vines are visible and pulsing around him. You can somehow sense your Shadow wincing and rubbing at something in pain as it says,
I feel glad that's not me. Very glad. But of course I'm not that and you would never be able to do that, you wouldn't have the guts to do th-
You ignore your shadow's ramblings as this universe's "Real Bugze" starts to dissipate,
"Help... Even after all they've done, they don't deserve what's coming to them..."
With that the monitor abruptly turns off,
You, the Doctor, and Derpy all gulp when the image cuts as the Doctor says,
"Well...looks like we have a time limit now. Let's get this Diamond before it's too late."
You look at him in confusion (while shoving off the fact that that could have been you on the screen) as you ask,
"Wait, how do we know it's coming to this city?"
The Doctor gives you a blank look as he says,
"Cause this is the last city standing in the whole world."
You blink a few times before you chuckle nervously and says,
"Oh...right."
With that the Doctor sighs before he starts to give you and Derpy a plan to steal from Fancy Pants....
Among the defenses you see Luna coordinating troops and temporary cause gaps in the shield surrounding Canterlot so airships can take off and take position around the city, a squad of Minotaurs helping to push the Flim Flam brother's weapon into position, Diamond Dogs digging trenches... with the help of a giant worm, and... BonBon (must be this universe's BonBon instead of that agent who was helping you) riding a giant Bugbear?
Around Sunset Diamond Heist Difficulty: This Is Impossible +145
You once more looked into the skylight and double checked to make sure your mask is on tight. You look off to the left and you can see far down the street and see on the city wall Luna coordinating troops and temporarily causing gaps in the shield surrounding Canterlot so airships can take off and take position around the city.
"That is so strange...yet for some reason it makes sense that she's doing it."
You look over a little bit more to the left and see a squad of Minotaurs helping to push the Flim Flam brother's weapon into position. You gulp at the size of the weapon before you say,
"I really hope they don't aim that thing at me…well Me me, not the other me."
You look over to your right to see Diamond Dogs digging trenches... with the help of a giant worm, and... BonBon (must be this universe's BonBon instead of that agent who was helping you) riding a giant Bugbear?
You shake your head as you say,
"This dimension is soooo weird."
You shake it off as you hear the Doctors voice say through your headset.
"OK Bug- um sorry, what was your completely unnecessary codename again?"
"Cains" you reply, after sighing heavily.
At that a chuckle came through your head set to your mild annoyance. The chuckling ends as you hear the Doctor say,
"Okay 'Cains' are you sure you want to rob Fancy Pants, the only pony with security and a vault matched only by the one they use to store the Elements of Harmony, wearing nothing but a suit, tie, and a clown mask?"
Oh not this again....
"I mean seriously I have like tons of different outfits and stuff to wear that's better suited for this!"
You give a blank face as you ask,
"Like what?"
You hear some shuffling in your headset before the Doctor says
"Let's see, uh, there's a cardboard box, a lamp shade, the Nanosuit 2.0 and the ring of fog. Lotsa stuff, better than a suit and a clown mask. " You roll your eyes as you prepared to once more explain your odd choice of apparel.
"Look Doc, how many times do I have to tell you? If you’re trying to pull off a heist of any kind, you HAVE to look good while doing it, or, at least that's what Pinkie would say if she was still her usual pink self."
There's some awkward silence before the Doctor says,
"Um...okay then, if you get in a tight spot and can't hide in the safe and comforting walls, that only a cardboard box could provide, don't blame me.”
Yeah, cause the cardboard box worked so well in the past, you think to yourself.
"So, I'm guessing you at least know the plan?" the Doctor asks.
"Uhh...."
You hear an annoyed sigh before the Doctor says,
"We spent two hours going over-never mind, use the glass cutter to cut a hole in the glass, and get comfy because it's going to take about 4 minutes."
Pulling the circular and somewhat large metal glasscutter the Doc gave you earlier out of the Inventory, you place it on the glass. You smile at the magic enchantment on it assuring it wouldn't move in any way or form once placed, and flick the switch to 'ON.' You see a screen on the cutter displaying 'Estimated Time: 240 Seconds' with a progress bar on the bottom, and in that moment your headset once more comes to life as the Doctor says,
"One more thing 'Cains' - look I'm sorry I just can't say it anymore, It's just too ridiculous... and it sounds stupid."
"Fine...killjoy."
"Anyway, as I was saying, the glass cutter might jam occasionally at inconvenient times for no apparent reason. So, uh, if it does, just turn it off for five seconds, then turn it on and off really fast until you hear two beeps."
"Doc! I thought you said this was state of the art! "
"It's state of the art for 5 bits."
You stare at the cutter as you just now notice that there are dents, duck tape, and loose screws all over it. You sigh as you mumble,
"That explains a lot..."
You sighed as the cutter's display changed from Blue to red and gave out a high pitched beep as it jammed.
“This is gonna be a long 4 minutes,” you sigh.
*4 minutes and 15 resets later*
"About bucking time!” you cry out as the cutter’s display changes to 'complete.'
Grabbing the device in your mouth and dropping it in the newly created hole, you then carelessly jumped into the perfect hole in the skylight.
*THUD*
Keyword there being skylight.
At least you didn't break your neck when your face collided with floor below. You get back on your hooves while rubbing your sore nose, hoping noling heard or saw you break-in as the Doctor begins to give you your next objective.
"Alright Doc, I'm in."
"Okay, now you got the codes correct?"
"It's the key card right? "
"Yeah, you see the vault?"
Turning around, you see the vault along with multiple lasers. You gulp slightly at the intimidating sight as you say,
"Y-yeah. I see it. It’s got a bunch of lasers covering it."
You hear the Doctor sigh before he says,
"Great now don't try to do any Ninja stuff with those lasers, they’re spaced way to closely together, you'd look extremely awkward.”
You stop in your tracks as that was exactly what you were about to do, “I-I wasn’t Doc, I’m not that stupid, heh heh…” you stammer nervously.
“Clearly,” says the Doctor unbelieving, “Besides the vault door itself would trip them if you open it anyway. Trust me when I say this, you don't want to get caught, I hear Fancy Pants has an elite squad of guards on standby."
"So no Ninja stuff, got it. Then what do I do? "
"There's an alarm box on the 2nd floor in the closet of the guest room, you gotta hook it up with that tablet I gave you. And watch out for Sapphire Shores, she seems to be staying in that room. "
"Oh okay-wait Sapphire Shores is here?! "
"Yeah, I heard she was staying here for some reason"
*insert squee here*
The walk to the second floor was mostly uneventful since the guards patrolling seemed to be deaf and nearsighted, the only time you nearly got caught was when you turned a corner and almost came face first with a guard, but you quickly pulled back and he never seemed to notice... weird.
You opened the door to the guest room, and see fancy outfits everywhere. You kind of want to take one, because they belong to Sapphire Flippin Shores!
Ignoring your inner Celebrity Crush/Obsession (for the time being), you enter the closet and find the alarm box, you open it up and plant the tablet. It's like the cutter, displaying 'Time remaining 240 Seconds.’
"Hey Doc what's up with these guards they seem, sorta out of it…"
You hear the Doc humming before he says,
"From what I heard there running on nothing but coffee and an anti sleep spell, I think they work 3 days a week straight, no breaks."
"That sounds horrib- "
"But I think there paycheck is about 1,000 bits an hour."
"Where can I sign up?"
"Bug-*sigh*, just watch the tablet Bugze…"
"Fine. At least this thing can't jam like that cutter. "
The Doctor chuckles nervously over the headset as he says,
"Actually I didn't finish writing the code yet, so it might divide by zero and the override could slow down significantly or stop altogether. So if it does just turn it off for about ten seconds and turn it on again. "
"Doc, this closet isn't exactly comfy..."
"Shut up and watch the tablet Bugze."
*1 minute and 14 resets later *
You had to reboot the system a few times, but progress is being made…you hope. When suddenly, you hear the door to the room open. You remain absolutely still as you listen.
“Ms. Shores, I really must ask you to come with me to the crystal cavern shelters,” says a male voice.
“I’ll be there in a minute sugar. I got a bad feeling about tonight, and if I’m going out, I’m going out looking my best,” says the pony of pop.
You mentally squee since you’re in the same room as her. You peek through the crack in the closet and see her checking herself out in the mirror. She is dressed in tight fitting yoga pants and a sweater, and you begin sweating. She holds up a fancy looking costume you’ve never seen her wear before.
“Never got to show this one off…no time like the present I suppose” she says to herself in the mirror as she starts undressing and putting the new costume on.
Blood shoots out your nose at your peeping and you are mentally slapped by Selena.
Focus on the job you fool. You can ogle later.
I wasn't ogling, I was...observing
Whatever helps you sleep at night, which will be full of nightmares if you don’t stop staring by the way.
Aw man...
“There,” she finishes, “Thos refugees in the shelter will appreciate this. My last show…” she sniffles as she leaves the room.
*2 minutes and 25 more resets later*
The screen on the table now displaying 'complete,' you silently crawl out of the closet and start to head back down to the vault, which is now missing it's hundreds of lasers.
"Alright Doc you can open the doors remotely right?"
"Yeah opening them now."
The vault doors open with a sound that seems eerily similar to that made by scratching a chalk board, only louder.
"Oh dear Luna Doc! I think everyling in the building and their mothers heard that!"
" Relax Bugze they’re probably too out of it to notice. "
" Hey...did...did you hear something?" You hear a guard say to his partner sounding half asleep.
"I.... dunno.... sounded like some pony was scratching a chalk board...." replies an equally sleepy voice.
"Yeah... that, *yawn* would explain it."
Sighing in relief, you walk into the vault and see gems of all shapes and sizes.
"Alright Bugze to your left should be a big metal door, get over there and put the codes in."
"What about all these gems here? I count at least twenty Diamonds that are about the right size."
The Doctor sighs in annoyance before he says,
"Because if you cut, break, or so much as touch the glass on the display cases, the alarm will go off, and they'll be swarmed by guards."
"Fine."
Approaching the metal door you look through the small glass window to see a Diamond the perfect size for the job... behind a glass display.
"Hey Doc the Diamond looks like it's behind a glass display like the others, how am I supposed to.... "
"Once you get past the door use the glass cutter to get past the display."
"Wouldn't that set off the alarm?"
"Nah, whoever was enchanting the display cases forgot to set this one up so the alarm would trip if the glass was cut, don't break it though, it will go off if you break it."
"Umm Okay then...how do you know all this stuff anyway? "
“Well let’s just say that I’ve technically already done this before,” he responds.
“You’ve robbed Fancy pants before?” you ask.
“Well, not so much robbed, as in taking back something that was mine. He was there with me actually, his house security system turned against us, there was an Ood…I’ll tell you all about it later.”
“Alright then,” you say.
Fetching the key card with the codes you slid it on the terminal and then the alarm went off.
"Umm... Doc!? I-I don't think the codes worked! "
"What?! Those codes cost a fortune! You know what I had to do in a back alley to get those?! OK, ugh they must have changed very recently, or Intel was super fresh!"
"Okay so what do I do now?!"
"Um..... hope they don't break every bone in your body? And get back here as soon as you can. Looks like we’re going mining."
In that moment a guard ran in and yelled,
"Thief! Get him! "
You throw your hooves up in defense as you say,
"Wait, wait I can explain!"
Or at least you could of if they hadn't dog piled you.
Thinking quickly you Psycho Crusher out of the pile and make a run for it, completely forgetting the huge diamond. You smash out of a window and fall to the ground. You manage to land on your hooves and you make a run all the way back to the TARDIS. What you don't notice as you run is a familiar pink pony on the rooftops following after you....
BACK IN THE TARDIS
When you get back to the TARDIS you quickly put the Baker Sylvester Tennant suit back on as you see the Doctor and Derpy putting on mining gear.
“Well that was a bucking waste of time,” you lament.
“Quite so, maybe next time we should all stick together,” says Derpy matter of factly.
“Well…you got a point there,” you mumble.
“Anyway, unlike you,” says the Doctor, “I was at least partially successful. Now that the TARDIS has been diffused, I was able to fix her up a bit. We still need a coupling, but now we can use the Collar for defense. So, Let’s go get that Diamond!” he says as he makes his way to the door with Derpy following.
You’re about to follow them when you remember something...
Also I wonder if smaug could be of any help *hint hint* *nudge nudge*. Or more precisely his hoard. Half of it to be exact...
Smaug’s loot! I stuffed half of his hoard in here, there's bound to be a big diamond!
With that thought in mind you open The Inventory and think of the biggest Diamond you could find. After awhile your hoof grabs something. You tug on it and pull out...
A Diamond as big as a Polo Ball.
The Doctor and Derpy stare at it in shock before the Doctor asks you,
"Wha! Bugze were in the multiverse did you get that!"
You give a smug smile as you say,
"From Smaug's loot. This is the biggest one in there, so I hope we can use it. And you wanted me to put it all back."
The Doctor ignores you as he takes looks at the Diamond in your hoof before saying,
"This will more than do Bugze, now let me just try and remember where to put this!"
With that he takes the diamond and begins to look around the TARDIS for something. As he does you ask him,
"So Doc, how DID you find this dimension in the first place?"
The Doctor looks over to you from a pile of rubble as he asks,
"Well... do you still have that note that Derpy gave you?"
"You mean that note she gave me after you saved me from the Princesses after I used my nightmare powers for the first time to protect Nightshade which also constantly reminds me of my debt which has gotten me into countless bad places cause of you?" (See "Episode 33: WHY ME!!!" and "Episode 34: I HATE The Woods!") you say in a deadpan tone that was totally not a rushed attempt at exposition,
"Yes." he responds.
"I do." you say as you take out the Note with your debt to The Doctor and it reads,
Dear Bestest Best Friend Bugze,
Hi! its me Derpy. So your feeling okay right? You hit your head pretty hard on the Doctors control panel thingy. Oh well... sorry I can't talk to you in person. The Doctor said I can't because of some sort of 'wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey' thing. I honestly don't know what hes talking about half the time (Don't tell him I said that). Oh right, The Doctor told me to tell you that we fed uh hold on a second Okay I'm back. So I asked The Doctor what this little sweet filly's name is. Huh...Oh right. We fed Nightshade but oh muffin did she have a appetite. I have a list attached to this letter of all the food she ate. I hope we can meet again soon Bugze.
Love,
Derpy
After skipping the page that lists all the food Nightshade ate (which is alot), you continue,
And Bugze, she said this was all a snack! And they were all extra large servings! Oh, The Doctor told me you owe him this much: 10,000,000,000,000,000 bits. Hope you have enough to pay!
P.S.
The Doctor tells me that the food is a tiny part of the cost.
The real cost came from having to fix the TARDIS as you kinda broke the control panel thingy with your head. Because of that, the TARDIS couldn't move and we got hit by Princess Luna's attack making us arrive in this city that's like Cloudsdale, but made of rock and metal instead of clouds and full of these scary monkey creatures that were hurting each other with fire, hooks, bombs, and loud metal sticks.
We managed to escape after getting hit alot more, but the Doctor had to quickly drop you in the some forest a few minutes after we picked you up at the castle so he could fix the TARDIS.
"Well..." the Doctor says, "The TARDIS did go straight from the Castle to the Everfree and the note was originally just the first part and the list, but after I dropped you and Nightshade off, the TARDIS was more damaged than I thought and we landed in... here. When Derpy and I escaped, I was determined not to let this future happen so I went back to where I dropped you, only to find you already awake and reading the note. So I had Derpy create a startling distraction to make you drop the note while I quickly zipped in and attached the third sheet with a made-up story about this debt you owe me and some fantastic story about apes destroying each other with hooks and spells in a flying city.
"Wait, you were that ghost sound?" you ask in surprise.
"Actually, that was Derpy."
"Thank Celestia for frogs" Derpy comments.
"Anyway, then Derpy and I got back into the TARDIS to meet you at a later time-"
"Then why didn't you bail me out at the Gala when everypony wanted to beat the stuffing out of me and I almost destroyed them all in turn when Selena took over?!" you interrupt.
Technically you let me take over, Selena adds.
Potato, Potahto, you mentally snark.
"Wait... What gala?"
"You know, the Bland Boring Ball where the Deadly 6 were and I performed a rock concert and Blueballs got his hooves on my daughter so I gave him the Nutshot to end all Nutshots." you explain, "You showed up when all the groups were arguing over who got to fight me first when you showed up in the TARDIS, but just grabbed a plate of food instead of helping me!" (See "Episode 68: Brawl At The Gala! Wrath Of The Hooded Offender! (Season Finale Part 5)")
"Oh... that must be where I go in the future."
"What?" you ask in confusion.
"Yes, and now that you've TOLD me that, I can't help you at the Gala since you've now made that a Fixed Point in Time since now I know the exact date in time when I don't help you which shaped this moment that we're having now which means after this, I now need to go back specifically to not help you. That explains why the TARDIS zipped me to a Canterlot who's ballroom was still being rebuilt..."
"Look," the Doctor interrupts, "if I start going into any more detail about time travel, then we'll be here all day drawing interlocking diagrams on multiple chalkboards. And that is time we do not have. Let’s just assume this version of you got away from Luna somehow, probably a bit more scorched than usual."
"Wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey." Derpy adds.
"So I just need to 'suspend my disbelief' and ignore all the inconsistencies like I'm watching an Applewood blockbuster?" you ask.
"Pretty much," Derpy answers for the Doctor.
"Fine... As long as I don't need to go back in time to pass a history test while protecting my future mother from a dozen monkeys with butterflies or anything crazy like that."
The Doctor nods his head before he sighs and says,
"Ugh, where did I put that bloody thing! Bugze, Derpy help me find it! It's that sphere thing Bon Bon gave us at the castle!"
Separate around the TARDIS and begin to search when suddenly you all hear a loud banging against the TARDIS door.
"Gah! Doctor, what was that?" you ask in surprise.
The sound begins to repeat, as something hits the door every couple of seconds.
The Doctor presses a button on the console and a screen appears. Outside the TARDIS, Pinkamena is shown charging at the door with her shoulder, smashing into it repeatedly.
You gulp in fright at Pinkie's angry slamming as you ask in fear,
“How the Buck did she find us?”
The Doctor looks to you, “She may have a few more screws loose and be a bit blood thirsty now, but she’s still Pinkie, so your guess is as good as mine,” he says.
You look back to the screen and see she is looking straight at it, as if she can see you.
"How is it going with finding that sphere thing!?" you ask in fear, not taking your eyes off the screen.
"We are still searching!" the Doctor shouts out,
You take your eyes off the console as you take out the future comic, thinking that maybe the answer is in there.
Instead, all you see is The Doctor and Derpy with shocked expressions on their face. You look up to the console and see Pinkie walking around the TARDIS, inspecting it, so you walk back to help in the search.
“Oh blast it, how can one little orb slip my mind,” laments the Doctor.
A voice suddenly calls from behind you.
"Try searching under the kitchen table"
"Of course! I put in there because the table was moving a little too much, thank you Pinkie,"
The Doctor says as he goes over and picks up the sphere from under the table. You all feel relieved that the Orb is found before you all realize something. You all turn around in fright and shout,
"PINKIE?!"
Pinkie is standing in the kitchen doorway, and she is frowning.
“Not…Pink…Ie…” she snarls.
“Oh right, sorry, Pinkamena,” you correct.
"That’s better!" she says.
Derpy gulps in fear before asking,
"How did she get in?"
The Doctor just whimpers before saying,
"Uhhh... Maybe the Anti-Pinkie shield was damaged when we came into this universe.”
You give the Doctor a confused look as you ask,
"You made an Anti-Pinkie shield?"
The Doctor gives you a deadpanned look before he says,
"You'd be surprised how many times that mare has snuck in here.”
You nod your head at this before refocusing at the Psycho at hand.
“Anyway..."
Kersey475 comment
You whip out the Power Glove and declare,
"WOULD YOU KINDLY BUZZ OFF!"
At the "Insect Swarm" plasmid, a small cloud of bees comes out of your arm holes and attacks Pinkamena...
*slice slice slice*
Only for her to quickly and nonchalantly slice all the bees in half with a few swishes of twin knives.
“Don’t forget that commenters, or I’ll just have to give you more ‘smiles’ than what you’re already going to get,” she says threateningly.
A roar is heard only by her, and she loses that creepy smile.
“Okay, okay, I’ll focus on the story…,” she says as she turns back to you.
“Sorry about that, one of the commenters had Godzilla with them…bucking cheaters.”
It’s official, this Mare has gone over the deep end, come back for air, and go down again.
You're then about to try to use the last "Mix-Up Smash" (which would render the Glove useless for this arc as it would shut down to recharge), when the Doctor grabs you and says,
"Wait Bugze! If she wanted us dead, you would be splattered all over this room."
"I’ve come to help you of course, I’m on your side now."
"Why is that?" you ask
"Because the princesses ordered me to take good care of you" She replied with a cheerless grin on her face.
“But you just tried to kill us the last time we met.”
“Well yeah, because I thought you were cultists. You should’ve told me the truth from the beginning,” she chides.
“Would you have believed us?” you ask.
“Probably not, but I wouldn’t have tried to kill you…maybe cut you all a little, but not kill you,” she says. “But I’m your ally now, so let’s do this…”
You barely hold back a doubtful look as you think,
I don't like the sound of that.
I think we can use this to our advantage
How?! She is going to stab us in the back as soon as we fix the TARDIS!
True but surely she can't harm us if we make a...Pinkie promise
Are you crazy! I already broke plenty of those in the past what makes you think I won't break this one?
Because she never breaks a Pinkie Promise.
"It’s true I never break a promise, not even after all that’s happened," Pinkamena said interrupting your thoughts?
... Did she just ...
Make the promise you idiot! Selena shouts
"Pinkamema, do you Pinkie Promise not to harm me, Derpy and the Doctor while we fix this, and in return, we promise to stop Nightmare?" you ask the pink mare as you make the promise movements. You watched her do the actions of the Pinkie Promise. As you say the usual way of it, Pinkie says,
I imagine a Pinkamena promise is "Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a Needle in my eye."
"Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a Needle in my eye."
You shudder at the new words.
Pinkamena added to your party
"Remember never break a promise to me " Pinkamena says
"What happens if I do?" you ask
Pinkie giggles before she says with a creepy smile,
"Then Pinkie Break YOU."
You gulp in fear as you think,
...Mommy...
The Doctor nods his head at this as he says,
"Good. Now that that's out of the way we can- Oh darn it!"
"What is it?" you ask.
only for the Doctor to tell you that you've: -Gotten the wrong gemstone -Accidentally chipped it in the melee rendering it useless.
“Bugze this isn’t a Diamond! It’s Rock Candy!” the Doctor exclaims.
“What?” you yell out in confusion. “That can’t be true!”
Pinkie walks over and picks up the stone and takes a bite out of it.
“It’s rock candy alright, made from diamond extract,” she says before swallowing. Her eyes take on a distant sad look as she says,
“Just like me and Maud used to make…”
You would question what she meant, but at the moment, you are pretty steamed,
"Why in the seven layers of Tartarus was their a giant piece of rock candy in Smaug's loot?!"
"Well everypony has a sweet tooth Bugze-er I mean Tennant, surely Dragons do too."
"I better check over all my other loot later, to make sure they aren't chocolate or something."
"You can do that later, right now we better be off to that mine." the Doctor says as he puts a hard hat on with a head lamp in it.
"So after all that we STILL need to get a bucking diamond?!" you exclaim in exasperation, "What's nex-"
"SWEET CELESTIA, WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!"
Your party looks out the TARDIS door in shock as you yell,
"What the buck was that!"
The Doctor gulps before he says,
"I don't know, but we're probably about to find out..."
With that you all run outside the TARDIS...
You, the Doctor, Derpy, and Pinkemena all run out of the TARDIS, down the alley, and towards the nearest group of ponies before you all look up at the sky in horror as you all see a large meteor heading towards Canterlot!
Suddenly the room Celestia is in shakes briefly. Her eyes widen as she thinks,
No... that means he's close!
"No... that's not possible." she hears Grey Wing say with terror in his voice, "W-WH-WHAT THE PLUCK ARE YOU?!"
She then hears footsteps and distorted laughter coming closer and closer,
"No, NO! Stay back!"
There's the sound of wings flapping in a panic followed by a sickening crunch and a howl of pain from the Griffin,
"GRAAAAH!!! LET ME GO!!! PLEASE!!! BY THE LOST IDOL OF BOREAS! I ORDER YOU TO LET-*TEAR*"
Then there's only silence before the Monarch of the Sun turns off the spell...
She turns around and looks out the window towards the sky and she feels a dark force heading her way. Celestia sighs sadly before she says,
"This is it... the beginning of the end."
BACK WITH YOUR GROUP NOW
You and your group, along with nearby ponies, all look at the sky in horror as you all see a large meteor heading towards Canterlot! Everypony starts panicking, but suddenly a midnight-colored blur shoots into the sky and explodes the Meteor.
Ponies cheer at this, but the relief is short-lived however as suddenly pieces of the shattered meteor start streaming in towards Canterlot. Many of the fragments tear through the airships causing them to explode in massive fireballs that plummet down onto the shield. Soon there is a rain of meteor fragments, burning airships, and even the bodies of guards raining on the shield. If you looked closely, you swore you could've seen something rapidly whipping the pieces at the city.
Soon the Tartarus-ish rain ends with the shield around Canterlot still holding strong, but then you all see a furious midnight blur screaming towards Canterlot and a distorted voice that sounds like a higher, more deranged combination of your's and Selena's declares,
"METEOR STORM!"
The midnight blur smashes through the shield as the whole thing shatters and dissipates. The thing then smashes into the street in a large explosion that levels the two buildings on either side of it as it kicks up a large cloud of dust and debris. A large piece of the bakery comes screaming towards you and your group. Before it hits, and before you can even think about moving, you hear Pinkie shout.
“Move you idiots!” as she pushes you, the Doctor and Derpy out of the way. In doing so, the large pillar slams into Pinkie and smashes her into the building behind you.You get up and pull the pillar off her in concern, but she's still breathing, only unconscious. You then look back to where the debris came from.
As the dust cloud starts to settle, nopony dares to make a move as beneath the cloud lies the most dangerous deadly creature in all of Equestria. The thing that has destroyed a city in a day, a countryside in a week, and the entire world in only a few months. Thousands (if not millions) have perished to this... thing's madness, nopony was safe. It didn't care who or what you were, if you could bleed it hunted you. This is the thing that caused the princesses to give up their thrones to their greatest enemies just to defeat it.What horrible demented roar will this... abomination give?
Suddenly a Nightmare Tail shoots out of the dust cloud... and it's holding Captain Gray Wing's head like a puppet before a distorted voice says,
More nightmare tails then whip the dust away leaving the monster standing there before he- No, it, says,
"Meet the cure."
...
"Okay, maybe 'cure' in the same way a guillotine cures a head cold but our point (and this chicken's head) still stand, Hi T-*ZAP*"
The deranged version of you is interrupted when a nervous guard zaps him in the face. Everypony stares at the Nightmare in fear as he silently turns to stare at the guard. The guard looks at him in pure fear. However, the Nightmare just smiles as he shouts out gleefully,
BrownDog's Comment
“Oh Honey you shouldn't have!"
With that he launches a nightmare tail at the poor sap. It goes right through him! His eyes widen in shock and pain before they lose their living glow. The Nightmare crackles insanely before he shouts,
"Helloooo Canterlot! We're Baaaaacccckkkkk!”
This snaps the guards out of their shock over their fallen comrade. Soon, a wave of guards charges forth (blocking your view of the Nightmare) but a maddening cackle rings forth and you hear sickening snapping sounds,
“Snap, Crackle, Pop, Rice Krispies!!!” shouts the voice as you hear screams from the guard.
Anger begins to cloud your mind as you start to stride towards the Nightmare while preparing your Power Glove and shouting,
"That crazy motherbucker! I'm gonna-"
Your interrupted when the Doctor pulls you back and says,
"Bugze, you can't fight him just yet!"
"And why not?" you challenge.
"Because not only will the guards become disorganized with two "Nightmares" and attack you as well, you also will fail spectacularly."
"How spectacularly?" you ask.
"Bugze, you'd essentially be fighting a bigger, stronger, tougher, less restrained, and more deranged version of yourself, how do you think that will go?"
You come to the conclusion that that would be bad... Time Guard Bad.
*ding*
A light-bulb appears over your head as you say,
When the Doctor explains why you shouldn't attack Nightmare Bugze "Ohh... You mean we're going by Timeguard rules!" "Exac- Wait, what?" "Yeah, 'same matter can not occupy same space' so if I punch him, we both get sucked into a horrific blob!" The Doctor is about to correct you when Depry nudges him and says, "Yeah, sure."
"Yeah, 'same matter can not occupy same space' so if I punch him, we both get sucked into a horrific blob!"
"No, that's not h-" the Doctor tries to correct, but Derpy nudges him with her elbow and says, "Yeah, sure."
After thinking that over, you put the Power Glove away as you decide to try not to focus on this monstrosity. If you can get the diamond, you can end this-
*smash collapse*
Which is kind of hard, when a building near your group collapses when some Earth Pony Guards are violently thrown into it.
“Bugze, we have to go, now!” shouts the Doctor.
“What about Pinkie?”
As soon as you say this your eyes widen in realization as you shout,
"Wait Pinkie! That's it!"
With that said you rush over to her down form and start to...
Kichi's Comment
Shake Pinkie in a attempt to wake her up as you shout,
"Pinkie!!! Wake up and help!!"
But your attempts to wake her are in vain as she is still KO'd. You then look to the Doctor and ask,
"Doctor what can we do? We can't just leave her here! It's not safe" you hear a scream in the distance, "for anyling."
"Well nowhere is technically safe except for the TARDIS," the Doctor starts and you immediately pick Pinkie up and rush towards the Box, but it won't open.
You open up the phone panel and just start hitting random buttons.
"Oi! Cut that out!" the Doctor chides.
"The Buttons, they do nothing!"
*smack* But the Doctor stops you with a slap to the back of the head and says,
"Bugze! Relax! We're not gonna solve anything if you just keep panicking."
You take a deep breath and you start to calm down as you say,
"Okay...calming down. Doc, is there anything we can do right now, without the Diamond, to buy us and these ponies more time?"
Derpy puts on her thinking face before she asks.
"What about the Pandorica? Maybe we could lock him up that way?"
The Doctor shakes his head and says
"Too far, and frankly it would all but be impossible to hold him in there for long,"
You and Derpy nod your heads at this as you suggest,
"Maybe we could put all the survivors into the TARDIS and go to the other side of the planet?"
The Doctor shakes his head as he says,
"Even if the TARDIS wasn't too damaged to make even a trip to the other side of the planet, the Nightmare will still track us down."
"Maybe you could help us search for new bearers of the Elements of Harmony?" Says a voice coming from the phone.
"It's too late to select new- Wait... Who said that?"
The Doctor walks over to the phone and holds it up to his ear as the voice says,
"It's me...Celestia."
The Doctor gets a confused look as he asks
"How did you manage to get my number?"
"We didn't, somehow you called us on our emergency speaker."
The Doctor groans and looks over to you in annoyance as he says,
"See? This is what happens if you press random buttons on a phone!"
You just sigh in annoyance as the Doctor continues to talk with whoever it is on the phone. But you suddenly remember the future telling comic. You take it out and look and it and you see what's going on in the battle of Canterlot. You see that in some part of Canterlot the Dark unicorn was looking to the sky as he lead his group of ponies towards the Nightmare. You gulp in fear at what might happen to those ponies when they get here, but your snapped out of your thoughts when the Doctor hangs up on the phone and says,
"Well that was useless. Listen, I know you both want a solution now, hay, even I do. But the fact of the matter is we can't do a thing until we find that diamond. So come on Bugze, we need to get to the mines ASAP."
You nod your head as you follow the Doctor, but you remember why you freaked out in the first place as you ask the Doctor,
"But Doc, what about Pinkie? If you think I'm just gonna leave her here to the dogs then-"
Your interrupted when the Doctor sighs and says,
“Fine fine! Throw her in your saddlebags or something, just hurry, we can’t stay here!”
"Unconscious Pinkamena" added to Inventory.
Sure she’s a genocidal lunatic, but it’s all because of that monster so I'm not just going to let her die while lying helpless.
Shaking your head at those thoughts you turn towards the Doctor to say something when...
Pentakill Apocalypse's Comment
A small spark falls from a nearby collapsed building and lands on you, causing your trench coat to catch on fire almost instantly. Your stare at the flames in wonder at how pretty the fire is before you realize that you're the one on fire! You decide to act accordingly...
"AAAAAAAAAH PUT IT OUT PUT IT OUT!"
The Doctor and Derpy look at you in shock as the Doctor says,
"Bugze are you mad!? Do you want the Nightmare to find us?!"
You glare at the Doctor as you say,
"Oh my bad Doc. I'll keep my voice down even through I'M ON BUCKING FIRE!"
Derpy acts quickly to your problem as she takes the nearest bucket full of liquid and throws it on you, but it only causes the fire to grow even more!
The Doctor looks at the bucket in shock before his eyes widen in realization as he shouts,
"DERPY, THAT WASNT WATER, THAT WAS GASOLINE!"
Derpy gets a confused look as she asks
"What's gasoline?"
The Doctor shakes his head as he grabs another nearby bucket and throws it on you. Luckily this one is full of water, which puts you out. You sigh in relief, but you swear you hear Pinkie laughing at your misfortune from within The Inventory, but you shake it off as the Doctor sighs and says,
"Good, now that you're not on fire we can get back to business."
He then sighs sadly before looking at Derpy and saying,
BrownDog's Comment
“Ditzy, I need you to stay in the TARDIS.”
“What? No way, I’m going to help you,” she argues.
“The TARDIS is the safest place right now in this whole city, I need you safe,” he says.
“I’m not helpless Doctor,” she argues.
“Ditzy please! I NEED you to be safe,” he emphasizes as he holds her hoof.
“I’m the reason you’re here, I did my best to make sure this never came to be, and yet here we still are. I can’t lose you like I lost the others...” he says in sadness as he looks into her eyes. “You have a daughter to get back to…Please, stay here.”
Derpy has tears in her eyes, “But…who will watch out for you?” she whimpers.
“I’ve got Bugze, I’ll be alright. He’s so much like his Grandfather in many ways…” he says as he strokes her cheek.
You nod your head in agreement to the Doctor's comment, when what he said hits you as you ask in shock,
“Wait, back it up. What about my Grandbuggy?”
The Doctor doesn’t answer you, “Be safe Ditzy,” he says before he runs off.
"Doctor..." she whispers as he runs.
As you look at the wall-eyed pegasus, you get flashbacks to when you first met her in that ally in Ponyville. She has the same look of helplessness she had from back then. You decide to be a good friend as you hug her and whisper to her,
“We’ll be back, you be careful okay. The Doc's right, you got a daughter back home waiting to see your smiling face.”
Derpy sniffs a little as she hugs you back while saying,
“You too…look after him Bugze, please.”
You nod and follow after the Doctor. You eventually catch up to him and the two of you start to head towards the mines. As you do the both of you see,
SnapDrakeGame's
The Nightmare looking at all the guards menacingly. But that lasts for about bout four seconds before he's set upon by a squad of guards.
You and the Doctor take this chance to hide behind the rubble as the ponies rush at him, spears raised, but are quickly deflected as the Nightmare projects a magic shield of deep blue.
The Nightmare shoots out his nine fox tails, grabbing each of the guards in one. He then holds them up one at a time, as if choosing which brand of pasta to buy. "Nope," he says to the first guard. His tail tightens, and the guard is crushed in his grip. As blood leaks down the dark tail, NY moves on to the next guards. "Nope."*Crush*"Nope."*Crush*"Nope."*Crush*"Ah!" he leans closer to the guard, who quivers in fear at the Nightmare's approach. The Nightmare smiles insanely before he says,
"We remember you. Appleoosa. Figures you'd just gotten out of the hospital. Now tell us- look around you. What do you see?"
The guard glances around at the destruction around him. "Err- a t-tragedy. A w-w-waste of innocent life."
"We'd thought as much," NY mutters.
"Hey! There he is!" NY turns to see a huge squadron of guards cresting the piles of rubble, rushing towards him. NY smiles wickedly, glancing at the guard still wrapped in his fox tail. He holds him still, wrapping two other tails around his forelegs.
"Time for a psychology lesson," he tells his captive guard, before turning to the mass of soldiers before him.
"Ponies are ruthless!" he cries as he punches a guard into a building, reducing it to a mound of gravel in the process. "They alter everything to suit their needs, never giving thought to the consequences." NY flails his tails, knocking away several guards. One throws their spear at him. he grabs it and throws it back, piercing the guard through his chest.
"They just don't think, you see?" The Nightmare explains as he gores another pony with his horns. "They don't think as to the state of their enemies. They've no compassion for the opposite side." He ducks beneath the stabbing spears of two more guards, before he sweeps his fox tails to knock the guards off their feet. "They're white, the other side is black, and then the other side is dead before any questions can be asked. It's a right shame."
"Jeez," you mutter from your hiding place. "He's powerful as all heck, but he sure does like to talk doesn't he. Am I this melodramatic?"
Err- perhaps when our consciousnesses fused, your insanity and my flair for drama produced... that...
The guard is stuttering with incredible fear as the Nightmare turns and spots a small battalion of unicorn foals marching towards him. He turns to his prisoner, still shackled within his monstrous grip, and grins. "Look at this. Look at how easily they release their morals. The end justifies all means and no tactic is too inhumane for their enemies, because their enemies aren't equals. Their enemies aren't worthy of sympathy." The foals band together and charge up an enormous orb of dark magic, before hurling it at NY. He again conjures his energy shield, and the magic blast dissipates against the blockade. "It's just... look at these ponies. They've no vision. They can't see past the next hour, always got to live to the next hour, it'll be fine so long as I live to the next hour!" Swirling winds pick up as energy gathers and NY's horn. He fires an enormous beam of midnight blue at the foals, scattering them every which way with it's intense power. He turns and fixes his captive guard with another insane smile.
"Our dear friend, noling is going to live to see the next hour. Ha ha ah ah ahhha haha ha!!!"
He then abruptly stops his laughter as he glares at the guard, quaking with fear while wrapped in NY's tails. "Hmm. You know, you don't talk that much. That makes you boring. You're boring. We're done with you. Strawberry jam time!"
"What?!? No!?!" the guard cries. "My husband and children... you can't!"
"Oh, don't worry," NY grins as his coils begin to tighten. "We'll send them along after you. We have sympat- Wait, did you say husband?"
"Y-yes." The guard says in fear.
"But you're a stallion... Aren't you?" the Nightmare asks in confusion.
"Y-yeah, but we adopted!"
"Odd... But we were never one to discriminate. Orientation, gender, species, class, age; all dull details that ultimately don't matter. And do you know why?"
The guard just rapidly shakes his head in fear.
"Cause ALL will face the Nightmare!"
And then he throws back his head an laughs in rhythm to the symphony of screams and breaking bones.
You can only stare on in horrified shock.
"Welp, now that we've got the 'generic insane villain speech' checked off the rampage schedule, IT'S PARTY TIME!!!" the Nightmare cries, turning to dash off into the streets. But before he can get too far...
Kersey's Comment
"YAKS HELP PONIES! IF NIGHTMARE DESTROY PONIES, NIGHTMARE DESTROY YAKS NEXT! YAKS DESTROY NIGHTMARE!!!"
Everypony turns in the direction of the declaration to see that far beyond the fields around Canterlot approaches a regiment of armored battle-ready Yaks charging towards Canterlot.
"Have I said thank you for that yet? Cause if I haven't, thank you soooo much!"
The Doctor nods his head as he says,
"Your welcome, now let's get to that mine before it's too late."
You nod your head as the both of you continue to run towards the mines. When you get closer to the mines the two of you have to hide behind some rubble as a patrol of fresh me-I mean guards walk by. As they do you overhear one of the guards ask,
"How did that monster sneak in here!? We had airships watching out for it 24/7?"
The guard next to him puts on a thinking face as he has a...flashback?
Captain Bronze Shield stood upon the bow of his airship. His ship was the only one on duty, the rest had to back down due to the scarceness of wood, as the nightmare had destroyed forests. Alongside him was Corporal Eagle Eye, known around the ranks for his superior eyesight, almost as good as a griffin's.
"See anything?" Bronze asked him.
"Nah, not really. Oh wait! I see something." He replied.
"What is it?"
"I dunno, it has big black tentacles and four orange eyes."
"THAT'S THE NIGHTMARE, AND IF YOU CAN SEE HIM, HE CAN SEE YOU!"
"Wait, I think he sees us."
"OBVIOUSLY!"
"Well, calm the buck down! His vision is based on movement, so if we stay still he won't see us"
"Are you foaling around? What makes you think Un-Extinction Park logic is going to help us?"
"Wait, where's the nightmare?" Eagle Eye asked as he turned around and saw the Nightmare picking up an expensive-looking Noble's carriage and preparing to throw it.
"Great Scott! Eagle, we have to go back!" Shouted Bronze Shield.
"He's got a carriage! Not that! ANYTHING BUT THAT!" Eagle Eye shouted as the carriage rushes towards the balloon keeping the airship afloat.
"He shot it! We're going down! We're going down!" Bronze Shield screamed as the balloon fell towards the shield and exploded
Meanwhile, a sentry noticed this and said, "That was way too Michael Beigh."
END OF THE GUARD'S FLASHBACK
The guards thinking face goes away as the flashback ends and he says nervously,
"I have um..no clue sir...heheheheh."
The other guard rolls his eyes as he says,
"Whatever Private. LET'S GO KICK SOME FLANK"
With that the other dead suc-I mean guards give a war cry before they charge at the Nightmare's location. You and the Doctor give a glance before the both of you shrug your shoulders and continue towards the mines. As the two of you continue to get closer to the mines you ask the Doctor,
"We are almost there we just need to-" the doctor was about to finish his sentence but in the distance you see Sapphire Shore' making her way towards the mine entrance as well. But you notice a chunk of rubble was above her and was going to crush her.
"Sapphire LOOK OUT!" you shout and run at full speed to save her.
What are you doing? Are you trying to get us both killed?
The Doctor said I can't face the Nightmare, but he didn't say I can't save someling's life! you reply as you give all you got to save her.
Sapphire looks up sadly as she closes her eyes and says
"This is the end of the show for me."
Knowing that this is going to be close, you shut your eyes and take a heroic dive, hoping that you won't miss her.
...
Am I dead? I don't feel dead so I think I'm good. Should probably open my eyes now
With that thought you open your eyes to see that you are in fact alive...and that you are on top of a living Sapphire.
Sapphire begins to open here eyes. And thinking quickly you get off of her. She opens her eyes completely and looks around in confusion before looking at you and asking,
"What happened? I though it was the end of the show for me."
You help her up to her hooves while shifting your head to the rubble while saying,
"Well I ran in and saved you from being crushed by that rock."
Sapphire looks at the rubble and back at you before she begins to blush and says,
"My hero."
You blush softly at this before you chuckle nervously and ask,
"Listen this may be a bad time, you know the whole world ending and all that, but can I get your autograph?"
Sapphire looks at you for a second before she gives you a big grin and says while leaning closer to you,
"Even better how about back stage passes and dinner at a restaurant when this all over."
It is here where your mind exploded into tiny pieces as you yelled in your head,
OH MY LUNA! MY CELEBRITY CRUSH IS ASKING ME OUT! BEST APOCALYPSE EVER!
You hear a slight groan coming from Selena but you ignore it as you begin to say,
"Okay where should we-" Sadly your moment was interrupt by the doctor
Sorry Miss Sapphire, but he's already in a relationship" as he pushes you away from her. Sapphire looks a bit disappointed before she calls out,
"Wait! Befor you go take this backstage pass for my next show. If we're still here that is." she hands over the pass to you and you put in your inventory.
Sapphire Shore Backstage Pass added to The Inventory
"And this is my thank you." she said placing a kiss on your check which cause your nose to bleed. You start to stutter slightly as Sapphire makes a beeline for the mines. You eventually sigh as you think in happiness,
I am not washing this check ever again and that must be the forth mare that kissed me.
The Doctor snaps you out of it as he says,
"Focus Bugze, we need to find that Diamond!"
You don't hear that as you exclaim to him in sadness and anger,
"Why did you do that Doc?! I was this close to going out with my biggest celebrity crush!"
"Two reasons; One, You don't belong in this universe, and two; you're a better bug than to ruin your stable, if rather unorthodox relationship."
You give him a confused look as you say,
"Last I checked I was a single buggy geek. So unless I somehow started dating someling without knowing, there's no way I'm seeing someling. So who do you think I'm seeing?"
"Well, you're seeing- Wait, that didn't happen yet to you... Sorry mate but spoilers."
You give the Doctor a deadpanned look before you say,
"Buck you and Buck Lady luck for ruining my one chance of happinesses!"
Off in the distance the nightmare gives out an evil laugh
Grabs a nearby water tower with three of his nightmare tails. He holds it as if it was a bowling ball as he aims at a group of unicorns using dark magic running at him. He sticks out his tongue in concentration before he rolls the water tower ball at high speeds towards the ponies. They don't have anytime to dodge as they are either set flying or are flattened by the water tower ball. The Nightmare hears this in his head as he throws his hoof up in a victory as he says,
He's interrupted when he is smacked by a pegasus. The Nightmare huffs in annoyance and he looks up to see a squads of pegasus guards attempting to attack him from above, but with a swish of his Nightmare Tails, he unleashes lightning bolts that shock them out of the sky.
Suddenly he notices and picks up a Diamond Dog (by its leg with a Nightmare Tail as the other tails act on their own to swat, grab, and slam away other incoming Pegasus Guards) and comments,
"Hmmm... A Brown Dog wearing a Kersey jacket under it's armor with the initials DWC engraved on his collar. Why do we get the feeling our lives revolve around those words..."
After a few moments of pondering, Nightmare Bugze just goes, "NAH!" before he starts whirrling the Diamond Dog around him to swat away Pegasus Guards flying at him as he sings,
This causes the Nightmare to laugh insanely before he continues his destruction of the city.
BACK WITH YOU AND THE DOCTOR
You both shiver at the thought of what can make that thing laugh as the Doctor says,
"I'd rather we don't find out, come on to the minds!"
With that the both of you rush towards the mine entrance.
BrownDog's Comment
"Buck!"
The Doctor slams his hoof at the vault like door sealing off the mine entrance. The vault has three big numbers on it that said
101
Shrugging off the nerdy feeling in your chest from reading the numbers on the vault door you ask the Doctor,
"What's wrong?"
The Doctor sighs before he looks at you and says,
"The vault doors are shut, that means there's no way for us to get inside. Sapphire must have been the last pony they could have fit before closing. We have to find another wa-OF COURSE!"
The Doctors eyes shine bright as a idea hits him and he runs off towards somelings house. You follow him inside and he explains that this is Prince Blueball’s house and that he has a hidden entrance to the mines in his basement. Luckily, the Doctor is able to find an entrance, boarded up in the basement of house.
“Why would there be an entrance there?” you ask.
“The Prince was funding an illegal dig into the mountainside, paying poor Diamond Dogs below minimum wage and leftover meat scraps without benefits."
“Yeesh that guy is a jerk,” you say aloud.
The house is pretty much empty, everything that wasn’t nailed down has been taken…except for a little yapping dog. “Figures, that guy would take everything except the dog,” you say as you look at the collar which says ‘Precious’.”
Meanwhile, on an incoming airship.
“I CAN’T BELIEVE I FORGOT PRECIOUS!!!” screams a very snooty voice.
Back With You
You ignore the dog (you tried to pet it, but it bit you! Like owner like pet...) and continue on down to the basement entrance.
“So where will the right diamond be?” you ask.
“Well, logic dictates it will be towards the end of the tunnel, so let’s go.”
Hearing the booming noises outside, you follow suit.
As you walk through the caves, you speak up.
"So Doctor...earlier when you were talking to Derpy. You said something about my Grandbuggy..."
"Did I now?" the Doctor says.
"Yeah, you did..."
He says nothing.
"What did you mean I'm like him in so many ways?"
He looks at you but doesn't say anything.
"Did you know Grandbuggy?" you ask.
He sighs.
"You knew my Grandmother apparently, but did you know him as well?"
"Bugze...I promise, from the bottom of my hearts that when this is all over, you and I will have a sit down and talk. Stallion to Stallion...but now's not the time for this."
"Grrr...fine, but I will get my answers Doc!"
He sighs, "Yes you will...and you may wish you hadn't."
Inside the cave, you hear music. When you follow it down enough,
You witness a gigantic rave being led by Sapphire Shores.
“It’s the end of the world as we know it, Ladies and Gentlecolts, so let’s go out in style!” she yells and starts singing, while all the civilians and even some of the guards start dancing and… doing "other" things…
The Doctor blushes and pulls your shocked form away from the spectacle alone.
“What is this, the Maretrix Reloaded?” you cry out loud.
The Doctor shakes his head as he shouts,
"Come on Bugze, this way!"
With that the two of you head deeper into the mine, not noticing a certain singer watching you go. Soon you two pass by...
A private room where you two see a white unicorn with a blue groomed mane, tail, and mustache cuddling with a white supermodel-looking unicorn with a light pink mane on a fancy rug, but the supermodel pony seems restless about something.
You and the Doctor exchange looks before you whisper,
"Come on Doc, we shouldn't be spying on these ponies. Let's find that bucking diamond."
The Doctor nods his head as the both of you go farther down the mine, not hearing this conversation.
"What's wrong Fleur?" the fancy pony asks.
"Sorry Fancy, it's just that the Nightmare is in Canterlot." Fleur answers.
"Don't worry my dear," Fancy reassures, "In this shelter the Princesses have built and provided for us little ponies, we should be fine..." he says the last parts uncertainly before deciding to change the subject to a lighter tone, "I myself sought out and purchased the highest quality food and beverages still around and donated them to the emergency stocks that they are now using to feed the less fortunate ponies also in the shelter."
"I know, but..." After a few moments in thought, she gets a determined (but reluctant) look on her face as she gets up from Fancy's side.
"Fleur!" Fancy says in worry.
"I'm sorry Fancy, but as a Royal Guard and a covert agent, I swore to protect Equestria at all costs. I love being with you, but I just can't enjoy it knowing that that monster is tearing apart other ponies who have taken the same oaths while I stay safe down here."
Fancy gets up after her, but Fleur says,
"No, Fancy. You aren't going to talk me out of this."
"I'm coming with you."
"Fancy no, I- What?" Fleur says in surprise.
Fancy walks over to her in determination and says,
"Fleur, you're more than just my bodyguard, my mistress, or even my closest friend. You are the love of my life so I'm coming with you and there's nothing you can do to persuade me otherwise. Besides, the more the merrier."
"Fancy..." Fleur says with tears in her eyes before tackling him with a passionate kiss back onto the rug...
BACK TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAM
You and the Doctor have gone as far into the mine as possible. Now the two of you are mining the stone walls in search of the Diamond (the Doctor had to stop you from using the Boomstick to just blow the Diamonds out of the cave walls). As the both of you do you can't help but think,
The longer where looking, the longer the Nightmare is causing chaos. I wonder what sickening thing he is doing now...
"Hey, just cause we're all in black and murder countless scores of creatures doesn't make us a vampire, that's racist! And we don't steal ponies souls and make them our slaves, or sparkle, or fall in love with a vampire hunter, or whatever the countless types of Vampires out there do" shouts the monster.
The twins seem confused by this rationale.
“Be that as it may, you’re no match for our Boom Shackalacka Nightmare Knocker Version 2.0!”
And with that, the minotaurs turn the cannon towards him and fire. A Rainbow Light comes forth and strikes his chest. He is blasted into a building and it collapses. Flim, Flam and the Minotaurs cheer.
It dies down when coughing is heard. Out of the dust walks the four eyed, nine tailed, sharp horned and tusked monstrosity of shadow.
"Nice shot there Chuckle and Buck. It’s been awhile since someone legitimately sucker punched us. Not since that stupid Pink Alicorn’s husband got us in the back, but we made him regret that. "
"I-it's not possible!" says Flim scared.
"This canon can take out a city block!"
The Nightmare doesn't respond to them, but rather starts mumbling.
“Stupid Cadance, squirming and crying over him. Not even when we tried to cheer her up did she let go. She wasn’t even paying attention when we tried to turn her into two face…or rather two body. The Dark Knight was awesome, but she just had to be a critic when the fire came...Ah sweet savory flames…"
"Fire again, maximum power!" shout the brothers as the rainbow blast hits the Nightmare once more, but this time he digs his tails into the ground and it keeps him from going back.
“That was supposed to disintegrate you…” says Flim.
“The success rate was 99%” says Flam.
“Well we have god mode enabled, so now all your base are belong to us! But I’ll let this lovely little lady decide your fate.”
The Nightmare pulls from his saddlebags...what looks like a Luna plushie.
“What do you think baby? What should daddy do?” it asks the doll.
“You should tear their heads off then use that cannon to fry us up some Minotaur BBQ daddy!” the Nightmare says in a high pitched voice, mimicking a child.
“Okie Dokie honey, anything for our princess,” it says back.
“Why is he talking to that Princess Luna Plushie?” Flim says to Flam.
“I don’t care, fire again!” says Flam.
Unfortunately for them, the Nightmare jumps clear over the beam, using a pair of shadow bat wings to glide and land behind the brothers before proceeding to grab both of them by the throats with his clawed hooves as it uses its Nightmare Tails to swat away the Minotaurs.
“You know when you shake a bottle of soda real hard and the top comes off? You think the same thing happens to ponies?” it asks before proceeding to shake the brothers until their heads do in fact fly off.
“Wow look at that, and look, they even have cherry soda in them…Bleh, that’s the worst tasting soda ever!”
The minotaurs see this and all decide to run for it.
Seeing this, the Nightmare picks up the cannon with it's tails and points it towards the fleeing minotaurs.
“Don’t run, we just want to be your friend!” it yells as it activates the cannon…And in doing so the minotaurs disappear completely after the light hits them, as well as sections of the street, buildings and wall that were in their path.
A demonic squee fills the air.
“We will hold you and love you and call you George,” The Nightmare coos to the cannon as it cradles it.
As it finishes cradling the cannon, it looks up and sees...
One Minotaur starts showing off some fancy sword moves with a giant Zweihander Cue Nightmare Bugze nonchalantly blasting him with the cannon.
A platoon of ponies wielding scimitars. He smiles in delight as he jumps over to them and says,
"Oooo... Saddle Arabians! Any suicide bombers among you?"
"No! That is a species-ist Applewood stereotype!" the lead Saddle Arabian exclaims,
"Must we do EVERYTHING ourselves?!" Nightmare Bugze exclaims in annoyance as he reaches into his Inventory as a nightmare tail lashes out and grabs the lead Saddle Arabian warrior before sweeping him from side to side to knock away the others.
"Let's see... Cake... Vanilla Cola... Lucky skulls... Aha!" he exclaims as he pulls out a bomb that reads Property of Michael Beigh before he violently yanks the Saddle Arabian pony with such force that NB punches the bomb into his chest.
Nightmare Bugze then wraps two nightmare tails around the Saddle Arabian's upper and lower jaws and puppets "Hakuna Matata!" before throwing the living bomb at the platoon where he explodes and takes them all out.
"Wait... Us darn it! We said that wrong, REDO!"
But before the Nightmare can find another poor sap to do that too, a blast of dark magic shoots past it. The Nightmare turns towards its source and sees...
A dark unicorn with a curved red horn leading the charge of countless unicorns.
“Kill Him!” he shouts and the others roar.
“OH Boy, more friends! We're just so popular tonight aren’t we?”
“You sure are daddy…” ‘Nightshade’ answers, “But they can’t ever love you like I do…”
“Awww, thanks honey, now let’s go say hello,” it answers as it charges up the Boom Shackalacka.
However as soon as he does Sombra shouts out,
“Give him no mercy you Maggots!”
“Oh please, like your magic is going to-”
The Nightmare is cut off as countless spells strike him.
“Ow, Ow, Ow! Cut it out!” A concentrated dark blast from several unicorns knocks him back a bit.
“Oh so you’ve all upgraded huh? Well so have we,” Nightmare Bugze laughs, as he aims the boom shackalacka at the incoming unicorns and pulls the trigger.
Sombra throws up a protective shield made of crystals, but even he is blasted backwards.
As the former Emperor shakes his head to clear the fuzziness in his vision, he looks back and sees that all of his disciples have been turned to dust.
“Ashes, ashes, they all fall the Buck down! Heh heh heh,” chuckles the Nightmare.
Daddy, let's save the cannon for the Royal bitches! Bitches love cannons! Nightmare Bugze "hears" 'Nightshade' tell him, "Great idea honey!" Nightmare Bugze says before stuffing the Boom Shackalacka Nightmare Knocker Version 2.0 into the Inventory.
"Daddy, let's save the cannon for the Royal bitches! Bitches love cannons!" Nightmare Bugze "hears" 'Nightshade' tell him,
"Great idea honey!" Nightmare Bugze says as he moves to stuf the Boom Shackalacka Nightmare Knocker Version 2.0 into his Inventory (yes, he has one) when Sombra grits his teeth in rage as he fires a blast of dark magic at the Nightmare, knocking the cannon away from him.
“Ah! Cheap Shot!”
“You killed all of my students monster! And now you will meet your death at the hooves of King Sombra!” he roars as he blasts another dark magic shot at the Nightmare, but a tail comes forth and absorbs the shock.
“Yeah, no, the Darkness is our thing. And we hate to pry, but dude! What’s up with your horn? It’s all red and curved, isn’t there supposed to be a cream for that?”
Sombra slams his hoof into the ground and crystals shoot forth and strike at the Nightmare who grunts.
“I am an umbra you worm! Resurrected by my very enemies to fight you. And once you’re beaten, I am going to drain your magic and life force and gain back my full power. Then this land will be mine!”
The dust lifts and Sombra sees the Nightmare with his back turned.
“Do you hear me monster?!”
The Nightmare turns around and mocks,
“Huh? Were you speaking to us? All we heard was, ‘blah blah blah-I am tasty meat-blah blah blah-cook me please,’”
As he uses his Nightmare Tails to whip an entire wall of a building at the shadow tyrant, luckily Sombra dives out of the way.
“Crystal Swarm!” Sombra calls as crystals burst from the ground and strike at the Nightmare, almost as if he’s a Crystal Bender.
“Ouch! Hey cut that out, those things are pokey!” the Nightmare cries out.
Another one gouges him.
“Crystal Splash!” yells Sombra who shoots out several smaller crystals at the Nightmare like a gun.
“Aaaaaahhhh!!!” shouts the Nightmare as he is peppered by the sharp stones.
He then makes a scythe made of pure crystal and rushes at the Nightmare while sending shooting out crystal torpedos
“Alright, that’s enough, FUS RO DAH!” the Nightmare shouts, shattering the crystals and collapsing nearby houses and sending Sombra flying.
The Nightmare smiles as he says,
"Great, now that that annoyance is out of the way, time to go... Wherever my baby wants me to go!"
With that said the beast went on to continue it's rampage with the Luna Plushie on its back...
POV Change: Bugze (You)
"I found it!"
After what felt like hours of mining, you finally found a diamond the right shape and size! So far all you found were smaller diamonds or jewels (which have been added to your funds ) but now you found the big one. The Doctor, who's covered in cave dust like yourself, walks over to exam the diamond. After making a few "hmmm" sounds he nods his head and smiles before saying,
"Good job Bugze! This is it! Now let's get to the TARDIS before it's too late!"
You nod your head as you shove the diamond into The Inventory as you and the Doctor head out of the mine...
However, as you walk along the path back to Blueball’s, temptation gets the better of you and you look out into the “Rave” once more.
Sure enough…everypony, griffon, minotaur, diamond dog civilian left are still… “enjoying themselves.”
Least they’ll go out happy. you think to yourself.
You turn away and head along the pathway, to the point where the music is dulled. In doing so, you pass a secluded corner filled with candles and pictures. There is a group of ponies and other beings not enjoying themselves. They appear down trodden and all holding hooves, paws, claws, etc. and just crying.
Two of them stick out to you more than the others. One is a Blue Unicorn Stallion, and the other is a grey unicorn mare. The both seem strangely familiar.
“Hey Doctor, can you take a look at this?” you ask.
“Bugze, it’s not polite to stare, and we’re kind of on a time lim…” begins a blushing Doctor.
“No, not “them” there’s a group over in that corner just sitting around crying.”
The Doctor looks to where you’re pointing and sighs.
“Poor souls who it seems can’t get lost in the frivolity, who can’t forget what’s about to happen…” the Doctor says sadly.
“Who are those two, the blue and the grey unicorn holding each other? They seem familiar to me, even though I’ve never seen them before.”
“They should seem familiar, you’ve met their children countless times.”
“I have?” you ask flabbergasted.
“Yes, that is Night Light and Twilight Velvet, Shining Armor and Twilight Sparkle’s parents.
“Oh…” you say in understanding as you watch the couple cry.
“I guess I never really thought of them having parents…”
“Everyone has loved ones who will miss them when they’re gone…even if they don’t realize it,” the Doctor says putting a hoof on your shoulder.
“Now, let’s go before it’s too late,” the Doctor says as he runs off, with you following shortly after.
A FEW MOMENTS LATER, OUTSIDE BLUE BALLS HOUSE
You and the Doctor begin to run across the rooftops, the Doctor claiming that this way was far safer then the streets. You can't complain since half of the street is now covered in rubble or...bodies. You shake it off as the tow of you continue to make your way to were the TARDIS is. But as the two of you get closer you see a piece of rubble flying right towards the Doctor! Your too far to reach him in time as you call out,
"DOCTOR! WATCH OUT!"
The Doctor looks at you in surprise as the piece of rubble is about to hit him, but suddenly a grey blur hits the Doctor towards you and away from the rubble. You look at the Doctor and are shocked to see Derpy on top of him. Derpy looks him in the eye.
"I thought I told you to stay in the TARDIS," he says flatly
"And I told you that you needed my help," she responds
"Well...I guess I did,"
"Told you so...I told you you'd need me" she says with a smile
The Doctor sighs as he says,
"Ditzy...Thank you...I don't know what I'd do without you" he says as he caresses her cheek to which she leans into.
As the two continue to stare at each other, you can't help but cough awkwardly as you say,
"Hey, if you two need a room or something I understand. But can it wait till were not in a dimension were we could be killed by me at any second."
The Doctor and Derpy blush as they quickly get off of each other. You chuckle at this before you jump to the next roof as you say,
"Come on love birds, we got a Nightmare to stop!"
The two shake their heads as they start to follow you. However...
As you, Derpy, and the Doctor sprint across rooftops (on their way to do something or another... you kinda lost track of who was following who) you glance to your right and spot the Nightmare down below, clashing with a squad of minotaurs...
*bash slam crash slam clang crush*"Would you like some more cheesecake sweetie?"
Or rather- slamming the minotaurs into fire hydrants, buildings, abandoned carriages, and other pony guards with his tails in a wild flurry while he's focused on trying to feed a whole blueberry cheesecake to a... Luna Plushie? Suddenly, a massive black crystal whizzes down the street, stabbing the Nightmare through the shoulder. The monster flinches before grabbing the crystal with a spare tail and yanking it out as he protectively puts the Luna Plushie back in The Inventory.
He turns to face his attacker and it's the dark unicorn you saw before and who you have since learned to be called Sombra. He looks a little bruised, but not much.
"Nightmare. Your reign ends here, and mine begins," Sombra growls.
"Great. Do we know you?" NY asks. "Because you've really got that whole evil villain look down pat. Could we borrow your cape?" Sombra just growls in anger of being forgotten so easily as he conjures a dark-crystal scythe and charges the insane changeling.
"Well OK then," NY says. "We don't mind if it gets a little bloody."
The two ram into each other in the middle of the street, sending out a shockwave that crashes into the buildings all around it, even shaking the foundation of the building you're on.
The Doctor grabs your shoulder. "Bugze- we need to go," he says. "It's not safe here." You nod, and follow as he turns and starts galloping away.
As you run, you hazard a glance back and see that the Nightmare has grabbed Sombra and is proceeding to slam him repeatedly against the road with his Nightmare tails. You decide to keep your eyes on the Doctor as you parkour after him.
You've galloped across a couple roofs when suddenly the black projectile that is Sombra flies into a building up ahead, causing it to collapse. Sombra staggers out of the building, dazed but not out, when NY pounces on him again, flinging him across the road. Sombra catches himself on the roof of another building, before he proceeds to shoot a barrage of razor-sharp crystals at NY. The Nightmare takes off, dodging the attacks as the come- the crystals instead crash into the roof you're on, forming spiky barriers that you cannot pass. NY slams his tails into the ground, blasting off in a super jump that takes him behind Sombra on the opposing rooftops.
He wraps a tail around his hoof as he cries "Dark Falcon Punch!", striking the unicorn with such strength that it rockets him through the air and into the street. He bounces several times before sliding to a stop at the foot of the building you're on.
"Uh Oh," the Doctor says. He turns to Derpy. "Fly! Get out of here!" he cries as the Nightmare leaps down in front of Sombra's limp figure. His Nightmare tails shoot out, grabbing the columns that support the building. "Quickly!" the Doctor screams. "He's going to-"
The rooftop collapses beneath you as NY rips out the building's supports, causing the structure to crumble away. Thinking quickly, you teleport to the nearby rooftop. You glance down and spot Derpy clinging to the Doctor, desperately trying to lift him away.
You quickly whip out the Power Glove and say "Would you kindly GET OVER HERE!" as you grab the two with your telekinesis plasmid, and bring them over to you.
"Thank you, Bugze," the Doctor says. Glancing down, he sees Sombra climbing out of the rubble, and NY preparing for round two. "We need to go. Everything is getting destroyed. It's just not safe."
"There!" You cry, pointing to some undamaged rooftops several streets over. You grab Derpy and the Doctor and teleport over.
"OK," you sigh, relieved that the teleport went off without a hitch. "We've put several blocks between us, that should be enough to-"
You're cut off as the Nightmare flies past you and smashes into a nearby building. "Buck, I'm wrong," you mutter. "RUN!"
Before you can run, Sombra teleports on scene, blasting NY with a beam of dark magic. NY leaps out of the way, behind Sombra, before his horn lights up and he releases a barrage of midnight blue magic bursts. Sombra is struck by several, and he stumbles back before hastily constructing a wall of crystal, which refracts the magic, scattering stray blasts all over the street. You duck behind a roof fixture as several beams fly over your head, before glancing back at the fight.
NY leaps onto the side of a building, before bounding over the street to a building on the opposite side, then bouncing back with another huge jump. Now behind Sombra, he pounces at the dark unicorn. Sombra teleports away in a flash of green and purple, leaving NY to attack nothing but air. Sombra appeares behind NY, and with a glow of purple and green, crystals sprout around NY, slowly crawling up his body.
"Really?" NY snarks as the crystals fully encase his hooves. "We mean, we know crystals are sort of your thing, but really?" The crystals creep up his legs, and up his chest as he draws in a deep breath. They've just reached his neck when he cries "FUS RO DAH!!!" The crystals shatter, along with all the glass in the area, and also your eardrums, you think. As Sombra is thrown back from the force, the Doctor taps on your shoulder.
"We should get out of here!"
"What?" you ask.
"I said we should get out of here!" the Doctor cries. You nod, and turn to run off.
However your forced to stop as you hear another "FUS RO DAH" from behind you. You see Sombra get launched through the air and he lands at the base of some steps that lead up a hill.
The Nightmare immediately jumps to his location…and looks up in confusion as Sombra is already at the top.
“How the hay did you get up there so fast?”
“Because I am a stair stepping master!” taunts Sombra as he makes Crystals dot the stairs, making them impossible to climb.
“Oh gee, we can’t go up the stairs, well guess that means we should admit defeat and go home and cry,” deadpans the Nightmare before suddenly jumping 50 feet into the air and flying with his shadow wings and landing in front of Sombra. “Oh right, We’re a God!”
Sombra is then struck across the face and goes through the wall of a school. Landing in a chemistry lab.
“So, you like crystals eh?” he asks Sombra, before grabbing a tub and pouring the contents into Sombra’s mouth.
“Well go ahead and have some, they’re magically delicious!” the Nightmare taunts before he delivers a vicious punch into Sombra's mouth to knock the contents (along with a few of his teeth) even further into his stomach.
Sombra’s pupils dilate after swallowing some of the blue crystals and the Nightmare throws him into a nearby wall and following it up with ramming him through it into another classroom where the Nightmare then proceeds to start grabbing and smashing desks onto the still-tripping-out Sombra.
Sombra eventually manages to shut his eyes tightly and snap out of it with a burst of mental shadow energy long enough to...
When they reach the bottom, Sombra is bleeding and mangled, but he tries one last thing;
He weakly gets up as his eyes start to glow green before staring directly into the Nightmare’s Orange eyes.
“Witness your fears!”
The Nightmare’s four eyes widen a bit and take on a bit of a green glow...
"HOT POTATO!" the Nightmare exclaims before his eyes sudden blaze an even brighter orange which strikes out and overtakes Sombra’s own eyes… and he sees the things he most fears...
“AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! Amore NO! I killed you. I KILLED YOU! Hope… help me…” he screams in horror.
The Nightmare’s Orange Mist begins to spread under the skin of the former tyrant as he proclaims,
"Fool! You think that mere fear can defeat a NIGHTMARE!"
The Nightmare then grabs the sides of Sombra's head with his clawed hooves as the tyrant starts to shake violently,
"We are MORE than fear as we have experienced true jealousy, bitterness, pain, loss, and rage! We are fear! We are fury! WE ARE THE NIGHTMARE! AND YOU..."
Under the increasing pressure, Sombra cracks and glows orange before violently disintegrating into purple-black mist.
“Are merely a shadow…” The Nightmare finishes before losing his seriousness, "And I'll take your cape thank you very much!"
As the Nightmare takes the now dead kings cape and struggles to put it on, the three of you take this chance to run towards the TARDIS. However when you get to where it belongs...
"WHERE THE BUCK IS IT!?"
The TARDIS is now missing! Where it once was is a note card. While the Doctor starts raging over it and Derpy tries to comfort him, you decide to read the not card. After you read it your eyes widen in shock as you say,
"Doc! I know where the TARDIS is!"
The Doctor looks over to you in shock as he asks,
"Where!? Where is she?!"
You gulp slightly as you say,
"Well apparently the Princesses had it hauled over to the Palace for safe keeping when Pinkie failed to report back on the progress of fixing the TARDIS."
The Doctor get's another angry face before he calms down and says,
"Fine! I'll give them a mouthful on why you don't touch a time travelers time machine later. Let's get to the palace later before the Night,are finds u-"
The Doctor is interrupted when a unicorn guard is sent flying by the alley that you're all in. The three of you look at each other before you all peak out of the alley and see...
The Nightmare swinging around a bunch of unicorns like a juggler. However he soon yawns before he throws them all away as if they were toys. However a smile forms on the Nightmares face as he says,
“Woo, that was fun, wonder what other playthings are around-*WHAM*”
“How about us?” a voice calls out behind the Nightmare as he lifts the anvil/piano off his head and turns around and sees both Discord and Tirek.
“Finally! Something interesting to fight, right Nightshade?” he says to the Luna Plushie.
“That’s right daddy, don’t forget to make them scream!”
“Will do hon-" he begins before being blasted by Tirek.
The Nightmare get's up from the blast and looks at Tirek and Discord before he smiles and says,
"Looks like round 1 is over with, NOW TIME FOR ROUND 2!"
"And that's our que to leave!" The Doctor says as he grabs you and Derpy's hooves and starts to drag you towards the Castle. As he does you can't help but give him a confused look and ask,
"Uh Doc, why are you dragging us towards the Palace?"
The Doctor gives a annoyed sigh before he says,
"Because Bugze. The Princess did the one thing you never do to a Time Lord, they took my TARDIS! And where gonna get it back!"
You nod your head at this, but you can't help but lean over to Derpy and whisper,
"Why is he so mad?"
Derpy nods her head as she says,
"Somepony took his TARDIS, and he's very protective of his toys."
"She's not a toy, she's my TARDIS! And this is the 11th time somepony's stolen it! Those princess are gonna get a ear full when we get to the Palace!"
You can't help but think,
I wonder what's worse. Death by Nightmare or death by the Doctor's ranting?
As the Doctor drags you and Derpy away from the Nightmare and it's newest play things, you can't help but turn around to see...
The Nightmare comments on Tirek's "Wrist Jewelry" (a hint that this Tirek is obviously not as powerful as the Tirek that fought Twilight)
"Nice wrist jewelry." the Nightmare comments pointing a tail at the metal gauntlets, "But we thought the Princesses would let their pet goat off the leash."
"I will admit that I could've gained more power had the Princesses struck a deal with me sooner, but the power I have right now is more than enough to squash a roach like you" Tirek responds and he pounds a fist into his palm.
The Nightmare merely smirks as he responds,
"Prove it grandpa goat."
This enrages Tirek as he starts...
Tirek releases and enormous magic laser, but Nightmare You wraps himself in his Nightmare Tails, which provide a protective shield, deflecting the energy.
Charging up what looked like a death beam between his horns. The Nightmare you just stares at it before he says,
"Oooooo shiny light! Are you doing some sort of light show or something? Cause the last time a pony tried to do this it-
The Nightmare couldn't finish his sentence as Tirek gives a roar before he fires the death beam from his horns. The magical death beam hits it's target dead on as the area the Nightmare was in gets covered in a fiery explosion. A few seconds go by before Tirek let's out a huff of annoyance before he says,
"Looks like those foolish Princesses were afraid of nothing. That bug was no match for my po-WHAT!"
Tirek's eyes widen in shock as the smoke clears to show the Nightmare surrounded in it's Nightmare tails like they were a protective shield. But what's truly horrifying is the fact that Tirek's death laser is now just a sphere pushing at the tails. The Nightmare gives a hollow chuckle before he says,
"Now that wasn't very nice. If you wanted to show us your death beam then all you had to do was ask. Through we're gonna have to give it back to you now!"
With that the Nightmare pushes the sphere of death back at Tirek with it's tails. Tirek barely manages to dodge the ball of death as Discord teleports away as well. The sphere of death flies by until it hits a random building. It destroys it as soon as it makes contact, taking the building and a few blocks of the city with it. Tirek and Discord (who teleported next to the minotaur) look at the destruction in shock before they look at the Nightmare as he says,
"Now thy little lambs, time to show you over to the slaughter!"
With that the Nightmare charges at the two self-proclaimed gods.
Meanwhile you, Derpy, and the Doctor just gulp in fear as the Doctor says,
"And that is one of the many reasons why we need to get to the Palace!"
You and Derpy nod your heads in agreement as the three of you rush towards the Palace in a even greater pace. However your way gets block as the three of you see...
The streets blocked with a legion of ponies dressed in dark hoods. You recognize the hooded style and the symbols on said hoods immediately as you mutter in shock,
"Horde cultists."
The ponies are going out of control, breaking windows, tearing up the street, and assaulting any ponies they see. You grab the Doctor and Derpy, tug them into an alleyway, before you stick your head back out and observe the Horde going berserk.
"If we're going to stop this, we need information," you mutter. Turning to a lone Horde member who's swinging a baseball bat at an abandoned carriage, you whisper, "Would you kindly get over here?!" You grab him with your telekinesis plasmid and drag him into your alley. Before he can say anything, you pin him against a wall. "Start talking," you say, leering threateningly. "Now."
"Err- we're the horde and we're here to help the Nightmare destroy Canterlot," the Horde cultist quickly explains,
"After Horde headquarters in Fillydelphia were destroyed, we elected some new commanders who lead us here. I can point them out to you." You nod, before allowing the cultist to move. He ducks out of the alley, and you follow close along. The Doctor and Derpy look at each other in confusion before following you as well.
The cultist leads you over to what looked like a market space. Or what's left of one at least. The sales carts are tipped over or are shattered completely. Windows have been broken in nearby shops and you see ponies grabbing jewels and the like from said stores. You wish you could do something to stop all this, as flashes of the Fillydelphia Riot appear in your mind, but you shake it off as the cultist points to a group of nine hooded figures in the center of the destroyed market, who seem to be leading the charge.
You give him a quick glare before you ask threateningly,
"So those are your leaders huh? Give me their names and I might not pound you into the ground."
The cultist gulps in fear before he quickly explains,
"On the left are Erised the Ink-Moth and Minds Eye. They joined early on, and are some of the best ones we have. There's also Solarkness and Kichi. They're also quite good. Gray Rebl and The Rutherford are there, and though they don't do too much, when they do show up they're amazing at what they do. Near the front is Kersey. He's the most spiritually in tune with the Nightmare, and thus a good leader. And at the front is Brown Dog. He's the best of all of us, the hardest worker with the most skill. We'd be nothing without him. Of course," he coughs, "Every member does their own part, and the Horde wouldn't exist without all of them."
"Wait, wait," You interrupt. "You just gave me eight names, but there's nine ponies up there. Who's the last guy?"
"Oh, that's SnapDrakeGames. He's just... kind of a jerk. All the time."
"I see," you mutter. "Well, that's way too much stuff for me to remember. WOULD YOU KINDLY FREEZE?!" you freeze the Horde Cultist where he stands, and turn to leave.
The Doctor gives you a confused look as he asks,
"Why did you bother asking this cultist in the first place if you aren't going to do anything?"
You give the Doctor a sly smile as you say,
"Simple my dear Doctor, I just got the names of all the ponies who I need to take down."
The Doctor and Derpy both have confused looks as the Doctor says,
"As much as I would love to see you pound them now, we need to get to the Palace now!"
You just give the Doctor a blank look as you say,
"Come on Doc I know that, I'm not gonna beat up those ponies."
Derpy looks at you in confusion as she asks,
"But didn't you just say you we-"
"I did, but not those ponies. I'm talking about the ones in our universe."
The Doctor gains a look of realization as he starts to say,
"Wait, you don't mea-"
You give another sly smile as you say,
"Yep! I figured if these guys are the leaders of the cultist here, then they must be the leaders of the Crimson Knights back home. So now that I know there names, it'll be easier to track them down and bring them in!"
The Doctor and Derpy gives you looks of bewilderment as the Doctor says,
"That...is actually a pretty good idea Bugze! We'll have to talk more about it later, right now we need to-"
"HEY DISCORD! STAND STILL SO WE CAN USE YOU AS A JUMP ROPE!"
The three of you gulp at the Nightmare's sentence as the Doctor says,
"Get my bucking TARDIS back before the Nightmare finds us and turns us and the whole world into a jump rope!"
You nod your head as the three of you head off back towards the Palace, but as you do your hoof hits something. Getting curious you look down and see...
As you walk away from the frozen Cultist, one of your hooves hits against something. Looking down, you see a golden pen lying on the ground. Your greed and curiosity compel you to pick it up with your forehoof, and you slowly examine the pen. Near the bottom in silver letters is written Chekov’s Pen. “Interesting name.” You think to yourself. You decide to add the pen to your Inventory. It might be useful later on Chekov’s Pen added to Inventory
A golden pen lying on the ground. Your greed and curiosity compel you to pick it up with your forehoof, and you slowly examine the pen. Near the bottom in silver letters is written Chekov’s Pen.
“Interesting name.” You think to yourself. You decide to add the pen to your Inventory. It might be useful later on, never know when you might need to write something after all.
Chekov’s Pen added to Inventory
"Bugze come on! My TARDIS is at the Palace and a murderous you is still fighting Discord and Tirek!"
After multiple failed attempts to turn Discord into a jump rope, the Nightmare just stares at the chaos maker, who is also staring him down with a goofy grin. Tirek is on the side lines trying to recover from the Nightmare's frenzy attack that almost tore his arm off. Tirek can only glare at the Nightmare in anger while Discord and the Nightmare continue their stare down. Suddenly the Nightmare begins to chuckles as he says,
"You know Discord, out of everyling we know, you're probably the one who had the most fault in this. You are the reason we were found out. With your chaos running rampant, making Buffalo dance and flipping gravity and all that jazz, we thought that using our power for heroics would be good...turns out it only compromises the town you're hiding in..." He trails off, but returns to his upbeat attitude all the same. "But who cares now? It's the ponies' fault for fighting when they still know what I could do at the Gala anyways. That's all in the past now."
Discord smiles in humor. "Now, that wouldn't be nice, would it? No distractions, no moral dilemmas, just good ol' chaos pals getting to know each other with a heartful reunion!" Then, at an instant as it appears, the smile turns into a frown. "Too bad I'm here to kill you."
The Nightmare then... chuckles. As though he hears a very funny joke, which may as well as be a sick punchline that could make even Pinkemena go green, but then it turns into full blown laughter. The tone of the cackles forces even Discord to shiver. The Nightmare continues to laugh as he says,
"Ahahaha Oh! Oh! Oh, we're sorry, how very rude of us. Ahaha. It's just that that's so UNLIKE you! You're suddenly being all so orderly and just and stuff!"
Discord gives a glare. "I'm afraid that's not quite the case."
"What? Really now?" it jeers, "Because, like, we don't remember you ever showing up ever since our enthusiastic walk all across Equis! What were you doing then? Sitting here all day, everyday, laying low because the Princesses told you to?" By the wince that he receives, the Nightmare snaps a mad grin as he says,
"Oh, you did! Ahahaha!" His laugh lasts long and hard, until, finally, he began to stop, wheezing a but. "And you wanna know the funny part? This chaos was what you wanted in the first place! And now you're trying to stop it!"
"Enough!" Tirek yells, finally having recovered enough to start fighting again. Discord gives him a look that says 'about time' to which Tirek ignores as he continues his rant,
"This has gone on long enough! It ends today, and then I shall finally rule all the land for my own!"
The grin on the Nightmare's face only widens. "Bring it on, old fart!"
However, before the two parties can charge at each other, the earth begins to shake violently. The Nightmare, Discord, and Tirek look around in confusion when suddenly...
Kersey's Comment
A Tatlzwurm bursts out of the ground heading straight for Nightmare Bugze. At this, the Nightmare eyes glint in insanity as he suddenly charges at the giant worm and says,
After "bonking" Discord and Tirek with the worm's body, the Nightmare smirks in satisfaction before Tirek gets up from the "bonking" in a daze...
*SMASH*"Twelve!"
The Nightmare smiles at his hoofy work before he cracks his neck and looks over to Discord, who had gotten up from his 'bonking', with insane eyes before saying,
"Oh Dissy...time for your medical examination! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!
A strange pony with a green robe and a cutie mark of three golden triangles appears making a great scene as a great wind billows around him. The Nightmare and Discord look at him in confusion, before the Nightmare gives an annoyed sigh before asking,
"Come on! Another one that wants to be killed? Can't you see we're in the middle of something here?"
Just then from under the hat of the strange pony appears a Breezie.
"Hey! Listen!" shouts the Breezie.
Everyling is looking at the breezie and the pony as he takes out a sword and tries to fight the Nightmare.
"Ha! Hya! Yia!!!" shouts the strange pony as he slashes with the sword.
The Nightmare, meanwhile, is looking at the strange pony just in front of him, not even landing a hit on him.
After about three minutes of this, the Nightmare just punches the pony in green clothes sending the poor pony flying off into the distance. The Nightmare nods his head at this before he turns back to Discord and says,
"Okay, let's continue the fight...!"
As the Nightmare prepares to continue his attack on Discord, another pony appears, this time it is a red pony with a red hat and a big moustache and a mushroom as a Cutie Mark
"It'sa Me!! Mario!!" Says the red pony.
After that the red pony tries to jump above the Nightmare, but he just throws him into the sky and watches him vanish like the pony from before. The Nightmare nods his head again before he says,
"Okay, now that we've taken care of him, let's get to pounding yo-
"We are going to stop you Nightmare!" Says another voice
"Okay... Now, what?" Asks an annoyed Nightmare
The Nightmare looks and sees a strange pony with a red hat and a yellow filly with him
"Go Pikafilly!" Shouts the pony
"Pika Pika Pika" Says the filly as she tries to just tackle the Nightmare.
The Nightmare just gives a bored stare before he grabs her and throws her into the sky and then looks to the pony wearing the strange hat as he asks,
"Is that all?"
"Uhhh.... Errr... Go Poke-Ball!!" shouts the pony as he throws a plastic ball
The ball hits the Nightmare doing nothing as he looks to the pony
"Okay... Anyling else?" Asks the Nightmare looking around
The Nightmare looks around and sees a strange pony with a gorilla suit, another that seems to be an astronaut, a pink pony with a big mouth, a yellow pony also with a big mouth and a pony with a strange big key. The Nightmare gives an annoyed sigh before he shouts,
"FUS ROH DAH!"
The strange ponies are all sent flying away and off into the distance. The Nightmare gives a satisfied grunt before looking over to Discord and saying,
"Now that the distractions are outta the way, lets say we and you have a heart to stab!"
Discord just gulps slightly before he notices something on the ground. Thinking quickly he...
As he throws it and summons a green blob that stands there for a few moments before suddenly changing size, turning purple, and aggressively tries to assimilate Nightmare Bugze, but then it starts... shrinking?
Soon the Smooze realizes that it is being eaten alive and turns back green as it tries to flee, but the Nightmare uses his tails to keep the blob heading towards its mouth before he devours it all and proclaims.
"Mmmm... Grape-Lemon-limey fusion!"
Discord can only blink as he comments,
"Wow... I guess something can stop the Smooze."
The Nightmare chuckles before saying,
"Right then...where were we..."
With that he charges Discord once again.
Meanwhile in Canterlot Castle
Luna sees the battle of Nightmare Bugzee and how all those strange ponies have been defeated by him. After that she begins to scream,
"Noooo!! My super army! How could they lose?"
Celestia and Cadence, who witnessed the battle through the window, look to her in confusion as Cadence asks,
"That was your plan?"
Luna gets a annoyed look on her face as she says,
"Of course, what better heroes to defeat him than video game heroes? I even gave the breezie pony a magically enchanted ocarina!"
Cadence and Celestia groan in annoyance at Luna's actions before Celestia says,
"If we survive to this, remind me to cut your video game playing time. How did you even accomplish this?"
“I merely gathered a group of ponies and Discord gave them all powers and accompanying costumes,” explains Luna. She then looks back out the window and smirks before saying,
“And if the clasics won’t work, perhaps more modern methods shall prevail!”
"TF-141, spread out in Foxtrot-Uniform-Charlie-Kilo formation stat!"
With that the squad spreads out... and starts swearing and cursing like a bunch of immature frat-ponies as they just spray-and-pray while insulting each other’s weapons and "skillz".
“Oh come on! Leet Gamerz?” the Nightmare Complains.
With that, the Nightmare crushes the commando with a huge rock.
Back at the Castle
"I knew I shouldn't have recruited those frat-colts!" Luna curses.
"Enough with that sister, we have to figure out how this Time Machine works" chides Celestia.
"Right, sorry sister...videogames why you fail me..." she whimpers.
MEANWHILE WITH BUGZE AND COMPANY.
"So, are we almost there yet?"
"GAAAAAAAAHHHH"
You, the Doctor and Derpy look around, to see a pony dressed with green robes, flying above them. At the same time an instrument falls from one of the pockets of the pony and hits you in the head. You rub your head in pain as you ask,
"Ouch, what is this?"
"It seems to be an ocarina, but I don't know how to use it." Derpy comments.
"Let's save it for later, now we need to get moving." the Doctor says.
"Alright, sounds good," you say as you puts the Ocarina in the inventory.
Ocarina added to Inventory
Derpy looks back down at the pony.
"Too bad we couldn't help him" she says.
"There's nothing we could have done," says the Doctor.
"Duh, but still...
"Yeah..." you and the Doctor agree looking down
BACK AT THE FIGHT
"Alright, distractions are over for now, shall we?" the Nightmare asks Discord.
"We shall," says Discord rushing towards the Nightmare as he...
Close Lines the Nightmare with his right arm. Discord then dons a luchador mask then picks up the Nightmare and gives him a Piledriver! He then proceeds to do a few more wrestling moves, calling them out as he does so.
"Double Dragon Destroyer! Celstia Slam! Germane Suplex!" The Nightmare endures the attacks before knocking Discord away, yelling
"C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!" he then glares at Discord and says.
"We see you're a fan of fighting...then try this on for size! Crouch, crouch forwards, forwards! Hadouken!" Nightmare You releases a blast of blue energy, which Discord knocks away with a frying pan. "Crouch, crouch backwards, backwards! Tatsumaki Senpukyaku!" Nightmare You spins forward in a whirlwind of kicks and tail slaps, which Discord barely manages to block the attack by conjuring a sandbag to take the hits. Nightmare You leaps over the sand bag, landing at Discord's feet. "Forwards, crouch, crouch forwards! Shoryuken!" Nightmare You's uppercut catches Discord in the jaw, knocking him into the air.
The Nightmare stops as he notices Tirek getting back up. This causes him to smile as he says,
"Oh, back for more? GREAT!
And with that he charges at Tirek with the intent to slaughter!
The three of you finally made it back to the Palace in one piece. You had to freeze a few more cultist, but besides that and dodging incoming rubble you all had no problem.
As you all are enter the Palace, The Doctor walks right through the unguarded doors. The Princesses all look up in surprise, each of them standing around the TARDIS.
“Doctor? You’re still alive?” asks Cadance.
The Doctor doesn’t answer as his scowl deepens and he keeps walking forward.
“When we lost contact with Pinkamena, we feared the worst, pray tell, where is she?” asks Luna.
The Doctor still doesn’t answer and just stares them down.
“We thought that if we could figure out the secrets to your machine we could…” starts Celestia before being interrupted by the Doctor.
“Shut up!” the Doctor says to her shocking everyone.
“W-what did you just…” she begins.
“Shut up!” the Doctor says pointing at her, to which you can’t help but smile.
“You do not speak to my sister that way you…” Luna begins.
“Shut up!” the Doctor yells at Luna.
“Please Doctor we were desperate, there’s no need for…”
“Shut up!” he yells at Cadance, to which you take offence.
“Hey, it’s funny when it’s Moony and Sunny, but you don’t say that to,”
He whirls around and glares at you, “Shut up!”
Everypony (aside from Derpy) and you starts arguing, but are all overruled by the Time Lord.
“Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up shutitty up up up!” he shouts to the room and everyling listens.
“There, that wasn’t so hard now was it? Feels good when ponies follow orders,” he says giving the stare down to the Princesses. “I told you to let us fix this without harassment or hindrance, and thanks to your bumbling, we’ve lost precious time!” he chides the Princesses.
“But we…” Celestia starts, but stops when the Doctor raises his eyebrow at her. Even in another universe, the Doctor takes charge.
“Now you’re learning. Now, get away from my bloody TARDIS, she doesn’t like being shipped around without me!”
He gestures for them to move and they do.
“Now that I’ve gotten my ship back, I’ll answer your questions, Yes we’re still alive, You were foolish in thinking you could ever understand Time Lord technology, and Pinkamena was knocked unconscious saving our lives and is currently in Bugzzzzzz…” he almost slips to which Cdance notes, “…zzzz -Tennant’s saddle bag. Now the Old Girl isn’t ready for flight yet without a power coupling, so in the meantime I am going to whip up something brilliant with these,” he holds up the Dog Collar and the Diamond, “So shut up!”
And with that, he walks into the TARDIS and slams the door.
The Princesses look to you and Derpy.
“Well don’t blame us, you took his toy,” says Derpy.
“Yeah, if anything, you’re lucky he didn’t throw you into the epicenter of a black hole or something,” you add.
The Princesses look at each other in confusion before turning back to you.
“He said you have Pinkamena in your bag?” asks a confused Cadance.
“Oh, right!” you say as you facehooved, you kind of forgot about her in all the excitement.
You reach into the bag to grab her, and you feel something soft and jiggly which you think is her, when all of a sudden you feel a very sharp pain in your arm.
“Aaaaahhhh!!!” you yell as you pull your hoof out and it has a knife in it. Following your hoof, Pinkamena jumps out. She has a bruise on her head, and is glaring at you.
“Wwwwhhhhyyyy?!!!” you whine to her.
She pulls the blade out of your arm to which you yell again.
“It may be the end of the world out there, but that doesn’t mean you can rub a mare’s flanks while she’s sleeping” she says glaring at you.
You eyes widen in surprise before you start to stutter in fear,
“Wh-what? I-I didn’t mea-"
You stop however when Pinkie get's right into your face and says,
“Quit your blubbering, I could have taken your whole arm off you wimp, this is just a love tap”
You nod your head fearfully as Pinkie turns around and walks over to the Princess.
That mare…was in the same place… as our daughter…The buck were you thinking?
Yeah…I’m just now realizing that…I'm not a smart bug
Clearly. Sometimes I wonder how you’ve survived without me.
That…is a very good question.
During your mental exchange you notice that Pinkie is talking to Celestia.
“Princess, the Nightmare is here, let me kill him.”
“Pinkamena, Tirek and Discord are engaging him, there won’t be a need to…” Celestia begins.
“HE’S MINE TO KILL!” she shouts at them and they all wince. “I’m not going to have some two bit gods take what is mine! Give me the blade!”
The Princesses wince at this.
“The Blade?” you ask aloud but are ignored.
“These daggers, the chainsaw and this arm have the weave, but the blade is pure. I NEED IT!”
“Pinkie…” Cadance starts but she glares at her old name being said.
“You promised me the pure Orichalcum sword!”
At the mention of Orichalcum, you rub the scar over your eye, remembering the pain. You also can't help but gulp in fear at what a pure blade of the stuff could do to you if a bracelet of it caused a scar across your eye. What you don't notice is Cadence looking at you in confusion at your panicked state. You shake off your panic as you hear Pinkie say with malice,
“Or are you trying to break a promise to me…”
“N-No!” they all say in fear.
“Then Give. Me. The Blade…”
Celestia sighs and teleports a dark green sword into the room. But before she can give it to Pinkie, the Doctor comes out of the TARDIS with a bunch of tools.
“Put that away! Now’s not the time for it!” shouts the Doctor.
An explosion in the city rocks the castle
“Now’s the perfect time for it!” Pinkamena shouts.
The Doctor, with a bit of fear, looks into her eyes.
“If you go out there without my little doohickey I’m about to make, then you will die even with that blade…” he says. Pinkamena glares at him as another explosion rocks the foundation.
“Just like those so called gods out there.”
“You don’t think Tirek and Discord can handle him?” asks Celestia.
The Doctor looks to her gravely, “I know they can’t. Discord’s chaos is random, yet fair, Tirek’s conquest is ruthless, yet ambitious. The Nightmare is the pure hatred and insanity of two poor souls. All it cares about is death. So no, they will not stop it…” they looked horrified at this revelation,
“But maybe I can, with these.”
He holds up the collar and diamond and an assortment of other pieces.
“What is this thing going to do Doctor?” you ask.
He walks to a table and starts fitting pieces together.
“This doohickey is going to be a dampener of sorts. To drain his magic completely would be all but impossible at this point. But this will give us a fighting chance.”
“We have tried dampeners on him, they don’t last for long,” says Luna.
“Well that’s because you don’t have my level of tech, but also you were being broad. This dampener is power specific. If you take away his most important power, you’ll have a shot,” he says before turning to you, “Which is what again Tennant?”
“I…Uhh…” you stutter trying to think what your greatest power is. You eventually realize it can only be the one that you’ve used, practically your whole life.
“His healing factor!” you say.
“Bingo! Orichalcum is the only thing that can hurt him at this point, but with this doohickey, he won’t be op invincible.”
Pinkamena’s eyes light up at this.
“Now give me some space,” he says as he starts working while the rest of you watch the fight.
You give a sigh as the ponies around the TARDIS begin to walk away to do there own thing. But they stay in eye shot of the TARDIS, and you can't blame them. The sooner the Doctor finishes this thing, the better. You give another sigh before you...
Look out of what's left of the window in the castle and wonder...
So this is our future if we never left Appaloosa you think watching the carnage below as buildings collapse and the wounded being carried to safe zones.
I believe so my friend, seeing the world burn all around us. This isn't how I picture Equestria under my rule.
Why? How you would you picture Equestria? you ask.
I don't know maybe less needles death and more darkness with the sun being a forgotten memory. You know, a paradise.
If you say so. Quick Question, how’s Nightshade doing? Is she still asleep?
You hear Selena sigh before she says,
Yes, she is doing well and yes she is still asleep.
Good I don't want her to see this any of this. you then sigh for the thousandth time that day.
"You okay Tennant?" a voice asks
You turn around to see that the voice belongs to Derpy, who walks towards you.
"A little. I'm starting to think going back to Appaloosa would be bad idea. I mean the reason you two made me go to Ponyville in the first place was to prevent any of this from happening."
"Yeah. We are sorry about it, but it was the only way we could think of that didn’t involve telling you what would happen in the future. You know how the Doctor is with the whole time travel thing," she answers with a look of guilt.
"Yeah I do. If I never went to Ponyvile all of this would have happened,” you acknowledge before sighing. “But I really don’t want to stay in Ponyville anymore…”
"Now why would you say that?" asks Derpy.
“Because I live in constant fear that ponies will realize that good old BST is actually a changeling and the Hooded Offender” you tell her. “I mean, I’m no good at shapeshifting, I always attract trouble, and I’m constantly stalked by love sick mares.”
You sigh once more. “If it weren’t for that perception filter, Zecora’s potions, Fluttershy’s trust, or easily bribed surgeons, I’d have been found out long ago. Pretty soon, Applejack, Dash or one of the others will find out, and we’ll all be fighting again. I just want to go home and never see Ponyville again.”
"Your just thinking about the negative things that would happen if you are spotted by the Elements of Harmony and never the good side of life there. I mean look you have a wonderful, albeit potty mouth, daughter, you have several friends and even family there, and you actually have been praised as a hero there.” she explains.
"Yeah but that is when I'm BST, not Bugze or the Hood Offender."
“But you are BST Bugze, you are also The Hooded Offender. They are just names for the same wonderful changeling. Hay, even Bugze isn’t really your real name. The true you is who you’ve always been, a good, loving, misunderstood soul who always tries to do the right thing. It doesn’t matter what name they know you by, because they all have seen the real you under each one,” she says as she gives you a hug.
“Fluttershy, Zecora and Cadance know you as Bugze and Hoody, you’ve saved the CMC, Rainbow Dash and the whole Apple Family as Tennant, and as the Offender, you’ve saved countless lives. They are all you Bugze, remember that, because they all will.”
As Derpy's words sink all the pain and fear washes away, if only for a moment.
"Thank you Derpy. When we get back to Ponyville I will stay there for good. In fact I have been having a good life there. I got a job, made friends, went on adventures, got new powers to help others with. All I need is a mare, or mares, that is right for me and then my whole life will be complete." you said with a smile on your face.
"There you go, stay positive. If you ever need a place to stay other than that shack, my house is always open." Derpy says.
"Thanks Derpy I will keep that offer in mind. You know after everything I have been through, all the pain, the fear and trouble, I always got back up and kept on going. No matter how hard lady luck ruined my day I kept on going to the end. No matter how hard my enemy's tried to kill me I kept on fighting using my powers for good. So I’ll keep on saving lives, and never taking them. I’ll make sure I never become that monster," you said as the sun starts to shine on you.
That sun turns out to be a flaming rubble striking the gardens in front of you, but you ignore it and just bask in the moment. Derpy smiles at you and walks away. As soon as she does your smile vanishes and is replaced with a deep frown as you think,
Who am I kidding. I can't go back to Ponyville or Appleoosa. Maybe...maybe it'll be best to vanish when we get back. Go into hiding and stay out of civilization for awhile. The longer I'm gone, the longer this world won't happen. Sorry Derpy…
Shaking off those dark thoughts, you decide to ask Selena a question that's been bugging you since this whole mess started,
Yeah, but based on what I remember about Nightmare Moon, she- I mean you never showed this much power when in the body of an alicorn. How is it I- he can have so much raw power in spite of being in the body of a changeling?
Selena is about to respond when the Doctor interrupts,
"I believe I have a theory. Imagine 2 balloons: One small and one big. Now imagine that they both are filled with a large amount of water. Even though the larger balloon can contain the water more stable-y, the smaller balloon will have more pressure and thus will expel the water more forcibly when released."
"That makes sense." you respond, "But shouldn't that mean I should eventually burst like... Well a balloon filled with too much water?"
But the Doctor doesn't answer you as he goes back into the TRADIS to work on the Nightmare stopper, so Selena takes over for him as she says,
Cadance walking towards you, and she looks like she wants to talk. You steel your nerve as you prepare for a awkward conversation as she says,
“I don’t think I had a chance to apologize for shooting you earlier,” she says.
“Oh, don’t worry, it’s not the first time I’ve been blasted.”
“Still, I’m sorry.”
“Hey it’s good, after all you’ve done for me I can’t complain.”
“Huh? What I’ve done for you?”
Your eyes snap open as you realize your slip.
“What have I done for you?” she asks again.
“Well, back in our universe, our Cadance is one of my best friends. She’s always believed in me and had my back…even if I didn’t deserve it.”
“Sounds like me…for better or worse” she says holding her left side. You look down the whole left side and notice that up close, she has been severely burnt, with the claw mark on her cutie mark being the worst.
She sees you staring.
“He did this to me…that monster,” she huffs angrily.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to stare” you say.
“No go ahead, there’s no hiding it. That psycho did this to me after he murdered my husband” she says with a wince. “When Shining died, I just gave up. I tried and tried to bring him back…but it was too late,” she says with a sniffle, and your own eyes water. “That thing tried to drag me away from Shiny…but I wouldn’t let go…so he scorched me right down the middle, laughing the whole time…”
You look away from her to the battle below and wipe away your tears.
“Everypony has wounds from him I suppose, all the hurt he’s brought… but mine hurt the most.”
“Why?” you ask.
“Because he used to be a friend…someone I trusted and cared for…” another boom echoes, “And this is what came of it…” she says crying.
“Cadance…I’m sorry…I’m so so sorry…” you mumble.
“There’s nothing for you to feel sorry for, this all started with me and him…and I can never take that back…” she sniffles and wipes her tears away.
“Anyway, sorry for venting, it’s been awhile.”
“No, it’s alright,” you reassure her.
“Thanks…what did you do for your Cadance to always have her trust?” she asks.
You look back out the window, “All I did was give her some food…” you say realizing you could do more for the Princess of Love. When you look back at her, she has an inquisitive and surprised face on.
“A-are you…” but she is interrupted by the Doctor.
“I’m finished! One collar inhibitor doohickey at your service!”
“Thank the creator!” Celestia exclaims after the events they just witnessed.
“Now we can stop that monster!” says Luna.
“Right, but the only problem is, someone is going to have to get close enough to put this around his neck” he says.
Everyone just gets quiet at that but Pinkie comes forth.
“I’ll do it.”
“Pinkamena, we are more powerful than…” begins Luna, but is stopped when Pinkie whirls on her.
“Exactly! So you’ll have a better shot of taking him down if I…fail.”
“She’s right,” the Doctor adds, “Also, If we are to create a power coupling, I’ll need you three alicorns help.”
They nod at this and Celestia holds out the sword.
Pinkie then grabs the Orichalchum sword and looks at her reflection in it. “But If I don’t fail, that collar is just going to make this all the more sweeter…”
Before anyone can argue, she grabs the collar and dashes to the door. She stops and turns back.
She looks to the princesses, “Thanks for being the last of my friends…” and the Alicorns nod. She looks to the Doctor and Derpy, “Fix this…please...” And they nod.
She then looks to you, “Sorry about stabbing you…and thanks for not leaving me to die…It’s…it’s the nicest thing anypony’s done for me in a long time, and it’s more than a murderer like me deserves…” she says with a genuine smile.
You smile back.
She loses her smile and gets serious.
“This collar is going on that monster…I Pinkie Promise you all!”
She then goes through the motions before taking off into the warzone. But before she can get far you do something really stupid....
"Promise me you'll run, run as fast as you can and to not look back if he becomes too much."
Pinkie stops her run and looks back at you sadly before she says,
"Sorry...that's one promise I can't keep."
With that...she's gone.
POV Change: The Nightmare
The Nightmare sends another punch Tireks way, causing the war lord to go flying into a building. He quickly gets up and looks like he's about to charge at you, when...
The Nightmare is divebombed from above by the Bugbear. The stinger of it lodges in his chest as the Bear flies off into the sky away from Tirek and Discord, who follow.
“Bears…our oldest enemy…” the Nightmare mutters.
The pony riding on top looks down on the Nightmare.
“This is for Ponyville you motherbucker!” Bon Bon shouts as she makes the Bugbear drag the Nightmare through the streets, tearing them up in the process.
“This is for Lyra! For Fluttershy! For Octavia and Vinyl! For everyone!” the bugbear then starts clawing on the Nightmare.
“Okay, we heard several names in that sentence, none of them familiar, who’s Liberia?”
“LYRA!” she yells, having the Bugbear slam him.
"Lyra was the best friend in the whole wide world...I LOVED HER! She believed in you, I believed in you! But you took her away from me! They thought you were a hero! I thought you were a hero! We were the horde, and we were going to help you! But you killed us all! Your own followers! WHY?!”
The Bugbear then starts squeezing the Nightmare into its chest, and some cracking is heard.
“WHY?! WHY?! WHYYYYYYY?!!!” she yells, before suddenly a dark energy blast forces the nightmare and the bugbear apart.
“Why?” the Nightmare answers, “Why you ask?”
“Yes,” she screams.
“Well the answer is easy…Why not?”
“What?”
“Why not? Follower blood flows just as good as other blood, so why not?”
“THEY WERE MY FRIENDS! THEY CARED FOR YOU WHEN NOPONY ELSE WOULD!”
“Well maybe if they had picked a better name we wouldn’t have had to dismantle them…probably not, but still…” it says nonchalantly.
“GGGGRRRRRAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!!” she screams in rage as she charges the bugbear towards the nightmare.
When they clash, she keeps yelling. "And what about those poor souls in Fillydelphia? You killed them all for fun! Even after those six who won you killed them! And they worshiped you like a god!"
"OK first off, we ARE a god, make no mistake, secondly, that zealot rumble was like uber levels of awesomeness, you should've seen it they were going all 'The Purge' on each other...only this didn't suck because Michael Beigh wasn't a part of it. Thirdly, those six would've died from their injuries anyway, seriously, what good are soldiers if they can barely even walk? We're nothing if not merciful, and lastly, If you miss them so much, GO JOIN THEM!"
“Wha?” Bon Bon asks before she turns around and sees A Horde Cultist standing on a ledge of a building who sprays whipped cream into his mouth before screaming,
He then jumps off the ledge with a pair of exploding spears, knocking Bon Bon off the Bugbear and into a candy shop, suicide bombing her and himself.
The Nightmare looks at the death in pride before he gets clawed into a building, however a nightmare tail shoots out of the rubble holding a score sign reading "8.8."
The Bugbear roars, but the Nightmare shoots out it’s tails and takes control of it’s head.
With a vicious turn of its tails, it snaps the Bugbear's neck before using the massive corpse's momentum to crush the powerhouses as he says,
"And welcome to Jackass!!!"
The Nightmare is then blasted through another wall by a burst of magic. The Nightmare quickly get's out of the rubble and is about to go looking for Discord when both Discord and Tirek charge at him. The Nightmare smirks insanely as he grabs them in his Nightmare Tails and flings them across the city. The Nightmare chuckles when he sees multiple buildings collapse from the two gods bodies. However before he could go after them...
The Nightmare and the pony stare at each other, when suddenly the pony begins to laugh,
"So you are the one who's been doing all this great work? Can't say I expected anything less, but... I am a bit disappointed. Jackey the Ripper gets resurrected to kill one bad guy... for a pardon on all his crimes... And well…it turns out it’s just an ugly thing..."
The Nightmare looks around, before asking,
"Oh, really? You know, the ugly things just flew away", at this he imitates Discord's voice, "'like a bird!' And are you important? We mean, We never really cared about history, so We guess you aren't, seeing how you will be, haha, history soon!"
Jack jumps up, showcasing his wings, and dashes at NY. NY sidesteps and laughs,
"Well well, now We remember! Well, Jack, We doubt you can really best Us. We mean, your real name isn't even known!"
The former serial killer stopped, turned around and deadpanned,
"Jacky the Ripper IS my real name."
"Wait, and they still were unable to figure out YOU were the one doing all that? They really are even more incompetent than what they've showcased. Maybe you will be more fun!"
NY starts to climb like a 'Mane-iac' towards Jack. Jack takes out... a staff made out of crystal, with magical electricity running around it?
"I always wanted to try this out... and now I can! This will be the cleanest cutting I've ever done..."
He points the staff at NY, unleashing a stream of magic, purple twisting in with pink and light blue...
When struck by the light, the Nightmare is visibly halted, its tails shimmering.
"You want to play dirty? You can’t play dirty... Playing dirty is our thing! We mean, what should we do if everyone was allowed to do our thing? Nay, you shouldn't have done that!"
Two of his shimmering tails slung around the upper levels of nearby houses, pressing them into balls and throwing these at Jack,
"Oh, we think you lost your BALLS!"
Jack flew up, and laughed,
"Is that all you got? Stupid jokes? After I'm done with you everypony will know of me! BUCK THE FILLYDELPHIA BOMBERS!"
The Nightmare took a cake Discord jumped out of earlier (he was trying to suckerpunch, it didn't work), and threw it at Jack.
"Bah! You seriously think that would work on me? And that joke 'bout Celestia is old...", before the cake explodes and knocks him through a store window.
"You bloody wanker..." Jack says as he gets back up... only to see the Nightmare right in front of him.
"We don't mind that you're naughty, Jack..."
At that, each of the 9 tails picks up a piece of jagged glass.
The most serious expression on his face, which is perhaps the first time in history. He levitates the rubble around him, and then he morphs them together to form a massive column of debris. With a snap of his talons, it became...
"Ooooh~! Is that a gigantic, metal fly swatter?" the Nightmare asks in muse.
"Why, yes," Discord replied as Tirek makes to jump away. "Made in China, just for you."
"We're very flattere--"
The gigantic swatter smashes down into the street, broke through the stones, through the earth, and through even the Nightmare's impossible strength. The entire street practically shatters! Dust swept, and even Tirek has to bring an arm to cover his eyes from the dust.
Discord just simply summons a gas mask. When Discord lifts the swatter away, it reveals a crater flatter than a pancake, with the bug of the joke in the middle of it. Indeed, the bug is flatter than flattery.
...And then the Nightmare pops back into his original size. "Oh! I get it! Nice one! Too bad it's a bit cliche by now."
The fly swatter squashes him again.
With a pop, he yells, "Oh, you wanna play it like that, huh?!" So, he promptly grabs a nearby building several lengths bigger than him with all of his shadow tails. "Good thing we've practiced being a good Dirty Dan!"
*Smash*
Discord pops back into shape with a growl, and with all of his might, he swung the fly swatter at him. "You? Dirty Dan? No! I am!"
NY replied with the building. "No, we're Dirty Dan!"
*Smash* "I'm Dirty Dan!"
*Smash*"Shut up! We're Dirty Dan!"
*Smash* "You are no fit! I am!"
*Smash*"Buck you! We're Dirty Dan!"
Then, suddenly, Discord stops. "...Who is Dirty Dan, actually?" Only for Nightmare Bugze to continue on smashing him away.
The Nightmare ends his attack huffing and puffing as Discord weakly get's up, but Discord soon smiles as he yells out,
"Tirek NOW!"
The Nightmare's eyes widen in surprise as Tirek charged at him, but soon he gets an insane look of glee as he starts too...
Grey Rebel's Comment
Fire magic attacks at Tirek, who only starts to consume the magic. This goes on for awhile as the Nightmare calls out insanely,
"Fight harder! Fight harder!" it shouts with glee as Tirek absorbs its magical attacks.. "We wanna have some fun"
"Fool!" Tirek cackles cockily. "With every bit of magic you use, I get stronger and powerfu--Urgh!"
The centaur was interrupted by a seering pain his chest. The Nightmare just politely, well, as politely as an insane person gets, stops attacking.
"Aww, what's wrong? Weren't you going to say something?" It cocks its head to the side, as though it is a child talking to a pet. "Aren't you going to say your Villain's Speech of Exposition? It's boring if an epic fight doesn't have one, and unsatifying if We don't get toprove you wrong."
Tirek rubs his chest. "H-how? I'm suppose to be able to digest all forms of magic!"
The Nightmare makes a mock gesture of shock. "Pah! Really?! All forms of magic?" Then, he laughs uproariously. "What bucking idiot eats tangible Killing Intent? Ahahahaha. Your killing us, goatface, your killing us!"" Suddenly, he stops. He gives an eye glance, and Tirek could feel all the malice teeming--no, pouring out of it, bearing down into his very soul. "Nah. You're just killing yourself."
And, as if on cue, Tirek felt his chest burst. A feeling. The feeling of a sharp blade plunging out of his chest, and he could do nothing but scream. He brought a hand to his chest in reflex, hoping to somehow get rid of the blade. But when his hands touched the spot, he blinked.
There is nothing there.
"Ghahaahaha!" the Nightmare laughed. "You should've seen the look on your face! Ahahahaha!"
However the Nightmare soon gains a dark look as he says,
The Nightmare grabbed him with his tails, and started to stretch him in all directions, while pouring magic out of him and inhaling it like Tirek would normally do...
"AAAAAAAAAAAARGH! AAAAAAAAAAA... Good acting, right?", Tirek asked, as he broke out of it and opened his mouth:
"What..."
"You can't steal my powers without dropping your own barriers! I bet you never thought your godly powers could be taken away! But you were wrong, they will be mine now!"
At this he started to absorb the Nightmare's magic. The Nightmare just grinned, before the magicflow stopped, and reversed.
Discord stared at this for a second, before he summoned up a massive amount of spikes and threw them between the two. This disrupted the absorbtion, but Tirek was left much weaker... and the Nightmare gained a new tail.
The Nightmare stares at it's tenth tail in awe, while Discord and Tirek stare at it in horror. The Nightmare starts to laugh insanely as he says,
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Thanks for the upgrade boys, but you're all starting to bore us. And when our toys start to bore us..."
The Nightmare launches himself onto Tireks back as he also smacks Discord away from the tyrant . He soon grins madly as he stabs 6 Nightmare Tails through the back of his torso. Tirek yells in pain as the Nightmare whispers to him,
But then Nightmare Bugze goes, "Wait... IDEA!" and quickly uses his Nightmare Tails to seal Tirek back up before then violently bursting through the front of his chest. NB then turns to the Luna Plushie and says,
"Did ya see that honey! Daddy was a Xenomorph!"
Discord can only stare at him in horror as he stutters,
"You killed him...you actually killed Tirek!"
The Nightmare grins happily before he says,
"Yep...and your next!"
The Nightmare then charges at Discord, but thinking quickly Discord...
Moves his body like a cartoon, avoiding all the tails.
"Is that all?" Ask Discord
"Never! Hold still so we can break you!" the Nightmare says.
"Yeah, come one daddy, you can do it!" Says the Nightmare with the plushie Nightshade voice.
"Ohhh... How cute, you think she’s still alive" Say Discord laughing
The Nightmare groans but Discord snap his fingers, after that a copy of Nightshade appears in front of them
"I hate you daddy! It was because of you that I was killed!"Say the Nightshade clone
"B-But You’re not dead, you’re right here." says Nightmare Bugzee as he holds up the plushie.
"Don't let her fool you, I'm your Nightshade, and I will love you forever Daddy!" says 'Nightshade'
Discord snaps his fingers and another Nightshade appears
"No! Your not my daddy! I like Discord more, he is going to be my new daddy, I hate you ex-Daddy, And you know what? Maybe Celestia could be my mommy!" says the second clone of Nightshade as both of them hug Discord.
“That’s not funny…”the Nightmare groans in anger.
"We love you Daddy Discord!" Say the two Nightshade clones at the same time as they hug him
"Stop it you overgrown weasel or your death won’t be quick!” The Nightmare shouts, causing his shadows to flare more.
"Oh, come on! Really?" deadpans Discord
"We are going to protect Daddy Discord from ex-Daddy!" says clone A
"Yes! Ex-Daddy is going to die! And we are going to be happy forever!" says Clone B
After that both clones put themselves between Discord and Nightmare Bugzee
"Come On! Nightmare! Attack me! I won't not move!" Discord put a bullseye on his neck
"GAAAAAAHHHH!" shouts Nightmare Bugzee
A great wave of darkness is launched in front of Nightmare Bugzee and hits both clones of Nightshade. As the wave swallows them, they grow and and go to Discord
"Gulp... Maybe I need to think this through a little better" says Discord as he tries to escape but chains appear from his own shadow and make him immobile.
"Come on, Nightmare, my friend, it was a little joke! What is a joke between friends?" asks Discord as a look of terror appears in his face.
"You got them Daddy, I'm better that those fakes!" says ‘Nightshade’
NEW SKILL! Nightmare Bugzee:Wave of Darkness Learned NEW SKILL Nightmare Bugzee:Shadow chains, Learned
The Nightmare growls at Discord in pure rage as he...
Starts brutalizing Discord; rapidly popping out of the mist to smash the Chaos Spirit in the face before popping back into the mist before he can be struck. Using shadow chains to keep him in place as he pulls another building on top of him, etc.
After silently going berserk on Discord, Nightmare Bugze grabs Discord's hands with two Nightmare Tails so he can't realty-warp snap as he squeeze's the God of Chaos' head in his clawed hooves. As Discord cries out in agony, the Nightmare growls,
After doing...that the Nightmare takes a few breaths before he lets out a howl of laughter as he lands on top of a nearby roof. When he does land on the roof he sees...
A patrol of griffins below, he leaps off the building and lands in front of them. “Hello, lovely day it’s been hasn’t it?”
“Attack!” The lead griffin shouts. The soldiers charge at Nightmare only to be knocked aside by his tails. One grabs the griffin leader and drags him over to Nightmare. “Let me go!”
“Just a second,” he says, “We feel a song coming on.”Music starts playing softly and he takes a breath, before crushing the lead griffin with his tail.
All of this death, it’s just so great.
He grins savagely at the recovering griffins
Don’t bother to run, it’s far too late, You see we really like to kill things, especially stuff that snaps in half
He grabs the rest of the griffins with his tails and starts walking down the street, looking around at the destruction.
We see this city, what does it hold? Wondering if we should butcher them or watch the slaughter unfold? Fighting us now sure you’d think
All of his tails squeeze and all of the griffins explode in a shower of blood.
‘He’s a pathological, bloodthirsty, homicidal, maniac!’
The Nightmare grabs his Inventory and starts pulling out random items including skulls, a glowing fork, a black cloak with a red trim, and a T-shirt that has a bipedal creature with the words ‘FOR PONY!’ on it.
We’ve killed griffins and ponies and bronies, We’ve maimed pegasisters and gods and then more
Finally, he pulls out a belt of grenades and tosses it into the nearest building.
You see a house? We see a crater.
He blasts the grenades with a magic bolt and the build disappears in a massive explosion. When the smoke clears, there’s only a smoldering crater.
But what then?
He pulls out several more belts and throws them around randomly.
Can’t you see? we’ll make moooooooooore!
Several blast of magic soon follow and everything around Nightmare becomes a mass of burning flames. When they die down, he runs to the next section to find more victims.
We love to incinerate and decapitate, we want to melt
Spotting a group of ponies trying to flee the battle, NIghtmare rummages around in the Inventory and pulls out a jar of acid and chucks it at them. The jar breaks on the lead pony’s head and he starts screaming as the acid eats away at him.
Want to melt some ponies Mocking the princesses while they- What do they call it? Ahh, Grieve!
Another blast of magic kills the rest of the ponies and he moves on.
We suppose that being insane there’s no point to love, Doesn’t matter since we have my daughter Nightshade
He take the Luna Plushie from his back and hugs it before putting it back.
Since we have her we're free to
Turning a corner, he sees another group of soldiers. At the same time they spot him and charge, letting out a war cry.
Arrgh what that word again?
A massive ball of energy gathers at the tip of his tails and his eyes turn red.
HATE!!
He fires it at the soldiers, cutting a massive swath of destruction that takes them out and a good section of Canterlot as well.
You’ve nowhere to hide, nowhere to run, This city will burn like the heart of the sun! With infinite glee, it’s gonna be us, That slaughters the world!
Nightmare Bugze hisses in pain as several spears stab into his back. Looking up, he sees several griffins flying above him, grabbing some more spears to throw at him.
How can we not glare at these guards and then not smash them? How could we stare at their deaths and then not laugh?
He grabs them spears from his back and throws them back at the griffins, killing all of them except for one, which gets hit in the wing and crashes to the ground.
we'll tear them in half Then we’ll snap all of the bones in their bodies, Or after we crush them, we’ll take what’s left of them and feed the graaaaaaaassss! We are a bug who just wants a hug, Have some urges and need to fulfill them, After this chaos we simply don’t What’s the word? CAAAAAARE!!
Seeing where the griffin fell, Nightmare slowly stalks over, two orbs appearing above his head, crackling with energy. The griffin tries to desperately reach for a spear that’s just out of reach as he gets closer.
The stench in the air! The smell of the gore! The carnage far greater than any waaaaaaaaar!
Suddenly, Nightmare stops and the orbs disappear, a sad expression on his face.
Why can’t they see?
He sits down and looks forlornly at the sky.
We're just being… us We'll slaughter the woooooor-*shink*
The Nightmare looks down to see that the griffin had stabbed him in the face with a spear, “You stabbed us in the face!”
“You destroyed Equestria!” the griffin shouted back.
“You stabbed us in the face!”
“You destroyed Equestria!”
“You stabbed us in the bucking face!” the Nightmare roars as he grabs the spear with a tail and puls it out. “But you know what? We're not upset about that. Hay, we get stabbed SO many times we barely even notice it anymore" he says gesturing to a pair of spears still in his back, "You know what we can’t forgive?” He glared at the now trembling griffin, “Interrupting OUR SONG!!!! So tell me, what’s your favorite organ?”
“W-w-what?”
“Kidney it is!” Three tails stab into the unfortunate griffin and rip him apart before grabbing a kidney (that for some reason has a feather on it.) and placing it on Nightmare’s head.
Item Get: Richard’s hat
The Nightmare sighs in happiness at the carnage that he just caused as he says,
“Well those playthings were quite a handful, but we think we should go back to our old toys.”
“Yeah daddy, the Princesses are oldies but goodies. We should take our time with them.”
“Splendid idea Nightshade, got any ideas?”
“Well, we could slowly turn them from Alicorns into all three types by tearing off their wings and horns, and- Wait, aren't you forgetting something Daddy?”
"Really? What?"
"Well we did basically just win a boss battle so..."
"Oh our us! The victory dance!"
With that, Nightmare Bugze tears off Tirek's head and puppets it to say,
The nightmare slowly turns its head around. It sees a pony who’s supposed to be dead. Someone it already killed, with their own arm no less. Someone who just stabbed it’s "daughter".
The Nightmare pulls the knife out of the doll and puts it back in the inventory. It doesn’t say anything, but it glares at the Pink Pony in hatred.
“What’s the matter? I interrupt your play time?” she mocks.
The Nightmare merely frowns, all four of it's eyes glowing intensely brighter with it’s hatred, all of it's Killing Intent now purely concentrated and directed at the pink pony. And for a brief moment, an emotion pierced her hatred and insanity and flicked in her eyes. An emotion she hadn't felt for a long time.
Fear...
What do you do?
Episode 81: The Pink Death's Fight! Pinkemena Vs. The Nightmare!!! (Season Finale Part 8)
For a few moments since the merciless slaughter and wanton destruction began, the Nightmare just stands there, staring with a cold even gaze at the pink pony before him, even its ten tails are moving slower and less violently. The fires alone serve to illuminate the two as they stand on opposite ends of the destroyed street. Pinkamena tenses up, her eyes never leaving the Nightmare's hulking shadowy form, waiting for an attack to come.
"Y-... Y- you... stabbed our baby." the Nightmare speaks in little more than a whisper.
The Nightmare is in her face in the blink of an eye, screaming a terrifying shriek that shatters what remaining windows are still intact around them. It then tries to snap its jaws down around her head, but she dodges out of the way and drags a knife across its throat, only spilling a few drops of glowing blood before the wound heals.
"Hahaha-hah heh." The nightmare chuckles and turns menacingly towards his prey, "Pinkie Pinkie Pinkie, you'll have to do better than-"
*Thock!**Thock!**Thock!**Shink!* But it's interrupted by another round of knives as they embed themselves into its torso.
The Nightmare blinks a few times, "Better than that. Allow us to show you how it's done."
An explosion of midnight magic erupts behind Pinkamena, throwing her off balance long enough for him to rush forward and make a few swipes at her. She dodges most of them, but ultimately is snatched by its newest nightmare tail. With her in its grasp, The Nightmare proceeds to pummel her, smashing her into a taco cart, a gift shop, and several street lamps before sprinting down the street while dragging her face across the storefronts.
"You see this?" it stops and holds Pinkamena up to its face while constricting her in its tail, "This is how you hurt someling that's hurt you! It has to be effective, you have to smile... and you have to enjoy it!"
It then flings her with all its might down the street where she crashes through a wooden vegetable cart, completely obliterating it.
"MY CABBAGES!"
"Ah, classic." The Nightmare sighs.
*Beep Beep BEEP* "What the bu-" the Nightmare stops and cranes its tale in front of its face just in time to see a timebomb planted on it. *BOOOOO-OOOM!*
Pinikimena smiles evilly at the explosion, but she loses her smirk when the dust settles and the Nightmare is still standing without a scratch. The Nightmare grunts before he glares at Pinkie and says,
Slowly begins to walk over to Pinkamena Diane Pie. As it reaches her, it throws all its ten nightmare-tails at her, only for her to dodge them all, running sideways at a building. At one point she runs over a window, only for the nightmare-tail to shatter it and grab a poor pony out, squeezing the pony much too hard.
Its intelligent eyes follow her every movement, and after a while it stops trying to hit her.
"What's going on? Tired already, unable to fight?", Pinkamena asks, "Trust me... that won't get you an ending any less painful than you deserve..."
Its tails suddenly rammed into the ground, and shoot out beneath her. She was thrown back into one of the windows she ran over, landing bloodied in the corner.
The Nightmare crawls in through the window, having not said a single word so far.
"How does it feel? How does it feel to be at our mercy, again? How does it feel to realize you are not going to get out of here alive? How does it feel knowing we will destroy you for hurting our Nightshade?"
"Tch, feels pretty normal you sick buck.", she spat at it, "but trust me, this is not going to end like last time..."
Shakily she stood up, crawling up a wall while taking knives out of her hair and throwing them at the Nightmare.
The Nightmare simply walked towards her like you would while going with your dog, and ignored the knives, seeing how he healed everything. As he reached her, he put a hoof at her head.
"Payment", is all she heard before everything exploded. She landed on a balcony of the castle, and jumped back down to go back to the Nightmare. All while muttering creepy things she was going to inflict on him
POV Change : Bugze(You)
As you pretty much waited for Pinkamena to do her job (and hope that she lives), you saw an explosion and...
A crystal staff flying towards you?
Thinking quickly, you ducked... by which you mean you jumped back in fright, only to hit Derpy causing her to fall over with you falling over her.
As the staff miraculously made it through the window, and landed next to you, you picked it up...
It had 'Property of Jack (T.R)' inscripted on it. "Weird", you wondered, "Who would leave a staff like this around to be flung around?"
At your words Luna takes notice of it, and gasps: "We remember that one! It belonged to a serial killer who was targeting a very... special group. It has the ability to store magical energy and release it in a beam... though We hath to wonder how it could have gotten here..."
At this Celestia coughs, and turns away.
"Sister, thou surely didn't..."
Celestia sighs guilty before saying,
"We even asked Tirek for help, and he had greater chances of success. If both were to survive, Tirek would have killed Jack. You cannot rule the dead, after all. I thought that maybe he could give them an opening..."
Luna sighs, before mumbling,
"We already knew it were harsh times, but for an infamous serial killer to get a chance... that makes it even clearer to us."
You were never one for history, so you ask,
"Um, who are you talking about?"
Luna replied sad- and slowly,
"Jack the Ripper, a pony with a heart blacker than Nightmare Moon, Discord and Tirek combined. He c...", at this a voice interrupted her:
"Nu-uh! No going into detail about that part! We have to atleast maintain the illusion of caring about our 'For everyone'-rating! Ups, sorry, the connection is a bit blurry. With you being in another universe and all that..."
You look around, trying to find the source of 'Old'-Pinkie's voice, only to give up. But then you realize that Pinkie just spoke to you from another bucking dimension. You start to try and understand how that's even possible-
Headache. Really big head headache. You try to shake it off and decide to not think about how Pinkie did that, best to just ignore anything that involves Pinkie from your dimension for now.
You also decide to not take the staff, you have your Boom Stick after all, you don't need another staff.
POV Change: Pinkemena
Pinkemena dodges another one of the Nightmares tail stabs and then stabing said tail with a knife. She been doing this for awhile now. Dodge, stab, dodge, stab, dodge, stab. By now the Nightmare is starting to get annoyed as it calls out in rage,
"Never! You are not going to win this battle! And you know why?"
The Nightmare growls in anger as he says,
"Don't tell us that tale about love and friendship, because it's not going to work."
Pinkemena smiles at this as she says,
"Well, it's that, but there is also the thing about those that control us... They are my fans, you have many fans, but this is a good vs evil and unlike you, I have more fans and I fight for the good team, the story needs a happy ending after all"
The Nightmare gains a confused look as Pinkemena shouts to the heavens,
"Come on fans! Come on Hive Mind! Come on DWC, give me the power, let me finish the nightmare."
She then takes out one of her knives and points it towards the sky before shouting,
From up above the Nightmare, a youthful yell is heard. The Nightmare looks up only to have an orange pegasus filly land on its back, plunging a pair of blades into it’s back.
“Oh no!” the Nightmareyells sarcastically/insanely (he's insane, it's hard to tell), “We are being attacked by some sort of small flightless bird! Is this revenge for all those chickens we flash-fried for Nightshade!”
“I’m not a bird!” yells the filly as she keeps stabbing the Nightmare repeatedly, to which it can’t quite shake her off.
“Hey, quit pecking us!” shouts the Nightmare.
“This is for my family! *STAB* For Sweetie Belle and Applebloom! *STAB* For Ponyville! *STAB* AND FOR RAINBOW DASH!” she screeches as she stabs his ear.
“Youch, why the ear? Alright that’s enough!” the Nightmare screams as he wraps her in some tails and holds her in front of his face, to which she tries to stab.
“I’ll never get my cutie mark, grow up, or fly because of you!” she yells. “I could’ve been a wonderbolt, Rainbow Dash would’ve taught me, but because of you everything is over!” she cries.
“Oh, all you wanted to do was fly?” asks the Nightmare, "Why that's no problem little orange chicken! We'll give you free lessons!"
And with that, the Nightmare wraps a nightmare tail around one if it's legs and punts Scootaloo like a hoofball screaming straight into the air at high speed.
"You're welcome!" the Nightmare calls after her.
"Now..."
With that said the Nightmare turns around and charges at Pinkie...
ON THE MOON
We see an older changeling wearing a Bowler hat near a makeshift campsite as he narrates to himself while writing in a journal,
"Day &*%&. Still no sign of the 'Mare on the Moon'. Although I am still curious about that shiver up my spine that felt like all my former co-workers were being brutally slaughtered by a pink pony with a chainsaw arm (weird how specific that was) But mark my words, I will find the Mare on the Moon AND I WILL BANG HER ALL NIGHT LO-"
Suddenly an orange blur slams into him from above. When the dust cloud settles he mutters,
"Why do I feel like a chicken landed on me?"
BACK ON...WHATEVER PLANET THIS SHOW TAKES PLACE ON
Pinkie dodges another attack from the Nightmare, but before she can do much the Nightmare...
shoots forwards and swings a tail right at her. Pinkemena jumps away, the tail smashing the concrete from where she previously stood into dust, only for the monster to grip the concrete with its outstretched tail and launches itself to meet the psycho pony in midair. Pinkemena meets its initial head butt with twin knives, twisting around the vicious horns and tusks to plunge each of them into an eye each.
The Nightmare merely grunts.
“Graagh!” PInkemena shouts. She uses the forward momentum and the Nightmare’s very horns to hop out of the way of swipes of its tails, abandoning the knives.
She lands on the ground with a roll to the side and grabs a bloody knife from the ground. She ducks away from a blind Dark Falcon Punch. She swung her knife. She stabs it into a lashing tail. With a struggle, she grips hard onto the knife as the tail wildly swings back in, dragging it along with her, and lets go to fling herself into the air.
From the air, she twists around to point her cybernetic hoof at the Nightmare. A glow and hum emits from the end of the hoof as an open end turns red hot for a moment before it shoots out a beam of energy and into the Nightmare’s face.
“Gah!” it shouts, “Stop hitting the face! Fus Ro Dah!”
She is blown away from the attack, but she rights herself haphazardly in the air before pulling something out with her metal arm. She then jerks to a stop, just in time to keep from splatting into a nearby building and plant a knife onto it's wall, bracing her.
The Nightmare feels a tug on his horns and he begins to see flickers of straight light heading back to the Pink mare. Strings. And they sting.
“Metal strings, lightweight and 10% Orichalcum.” She smirks from the wall, and pulls the string taught. “You like?”
“Raaaugh!” The Nightmare shoots out a wave of darkness, intending to crush her and the building along with her.
“…Guess not.”
Pinkemena instantly throws a knife, the blade riding onto the path the string gave before she jumps onto the string line and then bounces off of it and onto the rooftop, the edge shielding her from the shadows. Judging by the sickly sound of cutting flesh and the roar of anger afterwards, she hit home.
Suddenly, the building beneath her shakes and crumbles. Cursing, she runs to leap to another rooftop. It was a distance too far to be fair, but she presses on anyways. With a heave, she throws her weight to gain height and suffers the wait of being on air for two seconds. She lands. She tumbles. She makes it!
She stands back on all fours with a roll to face the decimated building, another knife out, just in time to see the accursed changeling burst out of the rubble as a blur and land on the roof to join her. Cracks forms on the concrete by its claws.
“You think you’d get to run?!” It punches with a tail. Pinkemena dodges, this time going inside its guard to stab and pin one front leg to the ground, only for it to break out that one leg and strike her with it, but she jumps and flips over him to the other, to which the Nightmare slams two tails onto her head and body.
She pays no mind to the pain nor her long pink hair as it blocks her sight, but instead, with her teeth, pulls the string that she set up around the leg she just stabbed to make it go taught. She then throws a flurry of knives, most of them meeting The Nightmare’s parrying tails.
Unknown to the Nightmare Changeling, some of the knives rides on the string and strike at on the same leg.
“Gah! So annoying! Get over here!” In rage, the Nightmare pulls the string and drags her towards him, to which she responds with a point blank laser beam to the face. It throws three tails at her, making sure that it won’t miss, only for her to swing around with the string she continues to hold onto and deftly cleared over all three legs.
The Nightmare is about to strike with his other tails but Pinkemena surprises him with an explosion of flour to the face.
White dust blocks his visions, so he slams a few of his tails to the ground to crush the roof into nothing, forcing the battle field to be on the inside of a roofless building. Dust, dirt, concrete, and grime is now included into the party of white particles. He sweeps his tails around to clear it all with flair. However, more and more flour replaces it.
“Flour? Seriously? How cute.”
“Hm.” Pinkemena steps a ways away from it, approaching a window. “Ever heard of a ‘Dust Explosion’?” She jumps out, turning back to shoot a spark of her laser beam into the white-dusty room.
The result is spectacular. The building right before her eyes burns bright in a brilliant boom of orange and red and gray. For a moment, the pink pony sees white and feels and hears the inkling of nothingness. Really, it didn’t faze her all that much. She fights through the numbness and lands on something with a thud.
Glancing around, she finds that she crashed into a whole different building. Judging by the glass and the crumbling of a building nearby, it is a building from next door… She hears a deafening, and chilling, roar. She didn’t even turn. She just ran.
Pinkemena grunts. “Tch. Still bucking unkillable, I see.”
She jumps through window to window, building to building, cutting away obstacles when she sees fit, and that is all with the Nightmare chasing her down as it rams and decimates each building she has been in from the outside.
”You can run! But you can’t hide!” It bellows from the outside.
At that, she feels Pinkie Keen.
Instantly, without so much as faltering or stumbling, she makes a sharp turn to jump through a window that led to the open streets, not even minding the glass. Just in time, too, as the building she has been in falls victim to the Nightmare’s merciless destruction, becoming rubble in seconds.
Speaking of whom...
”Get down here!” The Nightmare is onto her, launching into the air to meet her. It wraps all ten of its tails around her, forming an inescapable ball of shadow and squeezes. ”Now, let’s see if you can survive this one!”
It slams the ball to the ground. It slams Into a poor nearby lamppost. It then slams it into a food stall, a game store, a mall, a bridge, and then into an entire block!
"Raaugh!”
…Until, finally, it lets go and throws the contents onto the ground. Not even waiting, it follows it up with a devastating torrent shadow blasts! It stops, chuckling at its handiwork, expecting for there to be the smell of blood and death. He sniffs the air as though it would bring a heavenly a smell.
There is none.
Confusion quickly becomes an acute attention to one of his tails. There, cut haphazardly but effectively, is the stub of his tail. Typical, his body hadn't quite adjusted to his tenth tail. Power has become spread out after his excursion with Tirek and Discord. It stares at its now severed tail for a moment…
”Slippery, now arent’cha?” …before quickly regenerating the tail into its original length. Still, he had plenty left.
Meanwhile, Pinkemena is huffing and puffing behind a building. While she did escape with her life, she still sustains some major damage. The bleeding and bruising and aching coming from her head and torso and hindquarters makes it clear for.
She laughs dryly. It is the same. Just like the last time.
Back when she was afraid and helpless. Back when all she could do was cry—she wants to cry! When she’s so susceptible to pain… Weak. She was too weak. Pathetic. That last attack gave her the case of whites and blacks, reaching the point of near death. It didn’t faze. It just didn’t.
A smile breaks through her severe expression. Of course. After all, the same happened to Pinkie Pie when she died. Slowly, but surely, her sight blackens, her eyes closing all the same. She began to slump, taking in the serenity of just…letting go.
No.
She has to finish this! She can’t die yet! Not yet!
She gasps because of the sudden ringing of her ears, her aching body and beating heart rapidly forcing her back awake. How long has she been out?!
”You got Us good that time, but did you think you'd actually get away?"
Her eyes widen. She spins and throws a knife, to which the Nightmare casually catches with a tail.
”We’re a god. You think just a few puny knives and laser is going to stop Us?”
She went to throw more knives, but finds that she couldn’t. That's it. That is the last one. “Gods bleed all the same!” Pinkemena shouts, mustering all the strength she has left.
”Oh, please!” It rolls its eyes in dismissal. ”We’ve bleed plenty of times. It had lost its meaning a very, very long time ago.”
“Maybe. But I have something that will hurt you. Permamently.”
Pinkemena Diane Pie, pink psycho and ex-party pony to all of Ponyville, Mistress of Death and Grim Joker to all, brings out the Orichalum blade. She extends out the chainsaw from her cybernetic leg, revving the weapon with an intimidating and fearsome roar. The flesh render on one metal hoof, and the regeneration decimeter on the hoof with flesh. She stands on her hind legs.
This is it. Her last stand. She will not run. She will not be afraid!
The Nightmare grins. ”Bring it. Let’s have some fun!”
Round Two. Fight! Then, they dance.
Kersey's Comment
Or they try to, as an obese, glasses-wearing, Earth pony member of the Horde says,
"She's clearly ripping off Bruce Chinbell from the Evil Dead trilogy! You should ironically rip off her ripoff chainsaw arm then impale her with it while quoting Batmare: The Killing Joke!"
The Nightmare lights up at this and says,
"That's a great idea fat glasses-wearing Horde pony! For that, I shall kill you quickly and last."
"Thanks my film buff lord (I guess...)! Also... Can I have some bits for the last Hayburger place standing- my God?"
"Eh... Sure, why not?" The Nightmare nonchalantly responds as he tosses a nearby vault full of Bits at Kersey...
*SMASH*
That lands on the fat Earth pony.
"I'm okay..." Kersey says from under the safe.
"Alrighty then, where were we?" asks the Nightmare.
Pinkamena doesn't say anything as she rushes forth with her blades of death.
Pinkamena leaps towards the Nightmare, swinging her Orichalcum sword like mad (which she is. Like, really really mad). The Nightmare grabs a nearby piece of rubble and flings it at the approaching psycho. Pinkamena just leaps onto the rubble as it approaches, runs across it and leaps off again, her gallop uninterrupted. The Nightmare's glare deepens, as he throws several more pieces of rubble, and Pinkamena just leaps from piece to piece, continuing her assault. The Nightmare gets fed up, tears out a building by the foundations, and hurls it at her. To his surprise, Pinkamena fires several rockets from her cybernetic arm, blowing a hole through the building as she continues to fly towards her goal. She prepares her sword for a stab when The Nightmare just swings a tail, knocking her away like a baseball.
Pinkamena slams into another building, disappearing in a puff of dust. The Nightmare grins at this until Pinkamena's cybernetic arm shoots out from the cloud, detached from her body and flying with rocket boosters. It punches The Nightmare in the face before turning and flying back, reattaching to Pinkamena. She grins, before she notices the Nightmare dashing towards her. He rams into her, and the two blast into the building to the sound of smashing concrete.
The Nightmare bursts through the other side and flings Pinkamena across the street; the building he crashed through collapses behind him. Pinkamena gets back up, and tosses another couple knifes at him; he bats them away with his tails, and a deflected knife soars right back at Pinkamena, forcing her to dodge as it barely slices past her. She turns back, and leaps away as a beam of darkness vaporizes the spot where she'd stood before.
The Nightmare gets Pinkamena on the run, blasting lasers at her heels. Pinkamena throws a series of knifes into a building ahead, then hops onto the embed handles like they were stair steps. She gets above The Nightmare, before turning to the building. Her cybernetic arm shoots a blast of flame at the building, providing thrust to rocket her towards The Nightmare. He grins, and grabs a streetlamp with a Nightmare Tail. He bends it back, before letting it go; it swings forwards and swats the airborne earth pony away. She crashes into the road, but quickly gets back on her hooves. Seeing a nearby carriage, she runs towards it, and with her earth pony strength, pushes it towards The Nightmare. He grins, before catching it in one of his Nightmare Tails and crushing it like a raw egg.
Pinkamena grabs a couple of shurikens, before hurling them at The Nightmare. He dodges left and right, avoiding the projectiles with ease. Pinkamean uses this as a distraction to rush forwards. Almost upon The Nightmare, she grabs the Doctor's collar and goes for the throat. The Nightmare ducks beneath her hoof, before delivering a massive headbutt. Pinkamena and the collar go flying- she lands on her feet, while the collar lands on the awning of a building.
Pinkamena again charges The Nightmare. His horn lights up, firing several orbs of dark magic, all of which Pinkamena avoids. The Nightmare wraps a Nightmare Tail around his hoof.
"Dark Falcon... PUNCH!!!" To his surprise, Pinkamena evades the attack, moving fluidly around the punch and swinging the Orichalcum sword. She slices into The Nightmare's leg, and he gives a cry of pain. Pinkamena continues the attack by body slamming The Nightmare, knocking him to the ground. She hoists the sword above her head and prepares to stab.
She hesitates. She glances back at the collar on the building awning, remembering her mission. And The Nightmare gets his breath back.
"FUS RO DAH!!!" The shout of power sends Pinkamena flying, knocking her into the building. The collar drops next to her. She picks it up, and struggles to her hooves.
"You survived a Fus Ro Dah? That's like something we'd do! But you're no god."
"No," Pinkamena grins. "I'm only a bitter soul, longing for revenge." She flings another shuriken at The Nightmare, crying out "I shall have it!!!" It buries itself in The Nightmare's shoulder. He glances at it, nonchalantly tugs it out, and turns to Pinkamena.
Pinkamena fires a laser blast from her cybernetic arm. The Nightmare counters with a magical laser of his own, one that easily cuts through Pinkamena's and blasts her away. Pinkamena gets back up and charges. The Nightmare, getting kind of sick of this crap, digs his tails into the road. With great effort, he bends the pipes beneath, lifting a huge water pipe that sprays a torrent of water at Pinkamena. The jet hits her, and surprisingly, she struggles through the intense pressure, inching forwards.
The Nightmare growls in annoyance, before a nostalgic memory through his warped mind, a glimpse of that old brawl in Appleoosa, all that time ago. He charges up a burst of magic, before shooting it into the water. The water crackles with magic like electricity, blasting Pinkamena from the jet and into another building. She groans, before very slowly, she rises to her hooves. As soon as she does she rushes (ambit slower the before) at the Nightmare and she...
“I’ll wipe you from this world like I did to all the other changelings!” she shouts.
The Nightmare’s eyes widen, “That was you?” it asks.
“Yes! And I enjoyed every last minute ending your brethren!”
The Nightmare shouts and rage and slams her through a building.
“You Pink Psycho…WE WANTED TO DO THAT!”
“Wait wha…?” Pinkie says with a double take.
“We wanted to slaughter and burn the changelings and eat their shells for what they did to us…but no, when we got there, some Pink B!%$# beat us to it!”
Pinkie is then thrown face first into a statue, and she gets groggy.
“Uuuuuggggghhhhh...” she groans.
“We didn’t even get to see the light leave our former Queen’s eyes…and it’s all YOUR FAULT!” it shouts as it’s about to crush Pinkie with its tails. But she is teleported out of the way.
“What the? Since when can stupid mud ponies teleport?”
Pinkie looks up and sees her savior is Fleur with a group of guards and Fancy Pants..
“Ms. Pie, you are injured, you must retreat.”
“N-never…” Pinkie wheezes out.
Fleur looks up to her guards, “Flank him while he’s distracted.”
The guards then run out towards the Nightmare.
“Really? You ran away? Boring!” the Nightmare says in frustration.
“Fancy, get her to the castle…” Fleur says.
Fancy tries to, but Pinkie pushes him away.
“There’s no time to argue now…” he starts.
“You can’t beat him! Only I can! I have to put the collar on!” Pinkie shouts as she runs out towards the battle.
She rushes past the (now slaughtered) guards before she jumps at the Nightmare's face and...
During the fight, Pinkie is battered, bruised and cut, but she keeps going. When she slices off one of the Nightmare’s horns, he feels it. “GGGGGRRRRAAAAAGGHHHH!!!!” it yells in pain. Pinkie then grabs the broken horn and spears the Nightmare with it. “Now you know how Twilight felt when you stabbed her with her own horn!” she shouts. Because it was cut with Orichalcum, it doesn’t grow back.
Slices off one of the Nightmare’s horns, and he feels it.
“GGGGGRRRRAAAAAGGHHHH!!!!” it yells in pain.
Pinkie then grabs the broken horn and spears the Nightmare with it.
“Now you know how Twilight felt when you stabbed her with her own horn!” she shouts.
The Nightmare stumbles back a little bit, before he growls in rage and says,
"Your gonna pay for that you b%#@!"
With that he grabs Pinkie in one of his tails, squeezes her a little bit, before he tosses her onto a nearby rooftop. The Nightmare soon follows her and engages in combat...
But between punches that miss and only to go through solid walls, magic blasts that are easily dodged or avoided, and constantly getting struck in the face with knives and kicks from the nimble opponent, the Nightmare only gets more and more angry.
"Will *Smash* You *Crash* Stand *Shatter* Still?! Buck this!" it screams and pulls a replica Captain Equestria shield from its Inventory and sings "When Captain Equestria throws his mighty shield, all those who choose to oppose his shield must YIELD!" before throwing it at Pinkamena.
Pinkemena then throws the shield right back at the Nightmare. But the Nightmare simply smacks it out of the way. Pinkie is about to charge at the Nightmare when...
Suddenly, chains wraps around Pinkemena. A glance down and she sees that it came from her own shadow!
”Like our new move?!” the Nightmare shouts as it launches a stream of darkness towards her.
Without hesitating, she brings out her metal hoof, opening a compartment from within—her grenade holder! Out came a flash grenade, and she closes her eyes.
Bang!
After that, her own shadow disappears along with the chains that held her, and then she leaps away and keeps on running, just in time for the darkness to sweep the area and leave literally nothing behind.
A sharp turn, and then she is charging at the monster with a roar, all four of its eyes widening. And thus, Pinkemena began hacking and slashing without a care.
A tail to the torso. And still…she presses on.
She twists around the force and put more forward momentum, swinging her sawblade along with it.
A Phantom blast of shadow on her way. And still she presses on.
She jumps over it and swung down both blades, going through the slits of the Nightmare’s Shadow Tail Defense. A roll-slam to the ground . And still she presses on!
She holds the grip of her two blades, twists, and pulls them out, staggering but nonetheless taking satisfaction in the fact that she actuallypierced the darn monster!
A Dark Falcon Punch to the face. She pushes through it. And still. She. Presses. On!
And through it all… She thought about her friends. A trio of butterflies. A trio of apples. A rain cloud and rainbow lightning bolt. A triplet of diamonds.
And with the light of her Laughter, she cuts. She slices. She dices! Left and Right! She unrelentlessly presses on even as the Nightmare hits her again and again! They became blurs, and the only thing that can be seen at that point is the streams of blue and pink and red colliding with the perversion of black and red and purple.
MEANWHILE AT THE PALACE
As you, Derpy, the Doctor, and the Princesses all look at the fight through a magical projection,
“She won’t stay down…” Derpy mutters.
“Don’t worry Derpy, she’s tough and once she gets that collar on him, bye bye healing factor.”
The Doctor just sighs at that.
“Why did you just sigh like that Doc? That sounded like a sigh that means something bad,” you quiz the Doctor.
“I never said the collar would cancel out his healing factor, I just said it would dampen it and give us a chance,” the Doctor says.
“WHAT?!” you and Derpy exclaim.
“It will suppress his healing to where it won’t be instantaneous like it is now, but it will still be there, but at an immense fraction of what it used to be” the Doctor explains.
You look at him angrily, “And you didn’t want to mention that to Pinkie?” you growl.
He sighs once more, “It wouldn’t have made a difference if I had…she would have gone anyway.”
“Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have told her!” you shout.
He closes his eyes and looks down, “I know…”
“So he’ll still be able to heal somewhat?” Derpy asks.
“Yes, but he will feel his wounds and suffer for them, even if it’s for a few minutes, sometimes that’s all the edge you will need in a battle…”
You shake your head because it makes sense, even if Pinkie was lied to. You then see the Princesses walk up to the Doctor.
"We are finished Doctor," says Celestia.
"Ah, fantastic, you've charged the coupling?" he says.
"Yes, to the peak of what we can manage," says Luna.
The Doctor takes the coupling from them, and it is glowing with power. He runs his sonic screwdriver over it. After a moment the hopeful look in his eyes is replaced by shock as he shouts,
“Blast it all to Tartarus!” as the magic coupling the princesses created is nowhere near as powerful than what’s needed, “We’ll never be able to travel with this…”
“But that spell took a lot out of us,” says Cadance.
“Indeed, we should not expel more less we have to face the Nightmare even more exhausted,” says Luna.
“Are you saying there’s no hope?” asks Celestia.
“If we had a month perhaps to juice this up, but we don’t exactly have that kind of time right now!”
“So what do we do Doc?” you ask.
“We have two options, 1.Hope that we can take down The Nightmare so that we will have the time needed,”
You look out the window and see the Nightmare still beating Pinkie, without the collar.
“I don’t know about that Doc,”
“Or Two, we hope that the old girl can track down some other source and fast…either option is dire,” he says downtrodden. He points his Sonic Screw Driver at the TARDIS, and a little monitor pops up with the words, “Searching” on it.
“Is there nothing else to do?” asks Derpy. He takes her hoof in his as he watches the battle.
“No Ditzy…we just have to wait and see.”
You all look out at the final battle while Luna and Celestia try to bring their magic levels back up.
BACK TO THE FIGHT
It is a long and hard-fought battle. Pinkemena with her deadly dual wielding…and the Nightmare with his malicious arsenal of tails and shadow... But neither stops for the other, even despite injury after injury after injury and after injury. Until, finally. Finally! Everything falls silent.
When the dust settles...it shows the Nightmare holding down Pinkemena. pinkemena glares at the Nightmare, but he only says to her...
The Nightmare leers with hatred as its claws start to crush what's left of Pinkamena's lower half into the ground.
"How does it feel to know our pain? HUH?! How does it feel to see someone, and only wish for their deaths? To smear their carcass for all the world to see, before you kill them too?"
The Nightmare lifts it's claw up and stomps on Pinkamena's right bottom hoof, crushing it. Pinkie holds back a scream of pain as the Nightmares enraged ranting going manic.
"Is it not liberating? Is it not THERAPUTIC?! DO YOU NOT FEEL JOY IN JUST LETTING IT ALL GO?!"
"Joy?"
NB halt's at the sound of a word that's almost a ragged cough.
"Joy died the day you murdered my friends... The day you murdered me- no... The day you murdered Pinkie Pie. I may take satisfaction in killing you, and I WILL kill you, but joy is gone."
The Nightmare snorts in disgust.
"Kill us? Your right hind leg is like a PB-and J sandwich that's been chewed up and spat out, your life fluids draining like the cheap punch you once used to entertain the idiots you called friends. Your heartbeat slows even as we speak. You are BROKEN... and this time you will stay that way."
Pinkamena coughs again.
"Maybe..." she counters, a bloody smirk gracing her features. "Maybe... I will. But not yet. I can't go yet."
"Oh, but we're afraid you don't have a choice in the matter..." the Nightmare raises it's claw once more, this time taking aim to smash her skull like a watermelon.
"No..." Pinkamena coughs. "I do... I made a promise after all..."
The comment causes the Nightmare to hesitate,
*flash*
and allows Pinkie to dissapear in a flash of light.
"Huh?" the Nightmare grunts in confusion.
NEARBY...
Pinkie shows up in front of Fleur and Fancy who immediately cast a combined healing spell on her hind leg, making it good as new. As Pinkie gets up she sees Fancy Pants holding the collar.
"I believe you dropped these." Fancy says, offering the collar and sword to her.
Looking at Fancy and Fleur, Pinkemena nods her head as she accepts the collar and sword and says,
"This is our only hope to stop him. We need to get this around his neck. Will you help me?"
Fleur and Fancy nod their heads, which cause Pinkie to smile as she says while revving her chain saw,
"Come out, come out, wherever you arrrre..." the Nightmare taunts as it walks along the ruins on Canterlot looking for Pinkemena. As it sends out a Nightmare Tail around a corner-
"RRRRAGGGH!!!!" The Nightmare roars in pain as the tail is permanently severed off (9 remaining). Pinkie, Fancy, and Fleur rush out from the corner with chainsaw running and sword brandish as a nightmare tail lashes out on instinct to protect its master-
*shink* (8 Nightmare Tails remaining)
But it gets sliced off too. Now going wild with pain-induced rage, the Nightmare starts wildly flailing it's tails around and manages to smack Fleur, Fancy, and Pinkie into several hard objects with Pinkie is flung further away, losing the sword.
When the Nightmare calms down, he spots Fleur lying their. Briefly mistaking her pink mane for Pinkie, he charges up a blast from his tails and fires at her only for Fancy to run in front of the supermodel unicorn and shield her with his body as he takes the brunt of the blast.
“FANCY! NO!” she screams as Fancy falls before her.
"Whoopsy! Wrong pink!" the Nightmare comments.
Fleur then cradles the dying gentlepony in her arms as they say their romantic last words to each ot-
"We'll... give you some alone time. Never did like THESE scenes." the Nightmare comments as it turns around to look for Pinkiemena.
With a roar of anger, Fleur grabs a nearby spear with her magic and rushes the Nightmare, but one of the nightmare tails yanks the spear away from her and stabs her with it.
"Don't you have a sugar-daddy to join in the afterlife?" the Nightmare comments as he tosses her back at Fancy's body.
Pinkie shows up with her chainsaw and collar out and attempts to get him from behind, but the Nighmare turns around and forcibly swats the pink psycho with enough force to send her smashing through the window of a western-themed restaurant. With that, she drops the collar to the ground from the impact and the Nightmare closes in and says,
With that, Nightmare Bugze violently wraps a Nightmare Tail around her chainsaw arm before declaring,
"You know, that fat horde pony had a great idea...Appleloosa! Scene 1, Take 2, and..."
Nightmare Bugze tears her arm off as he screams,
"ACTION!"
Nightmare Bugze then impales Pinkemena with her own running chainsaw arm (making the hole in her gut even bigger) before it then holds up the impaled psycho close to it's face and says,
The Nightmare with a nightmare tail tightly wrapped around it's wounded eye like a bandage, while the rest of his face is breathing heavily as it's stuck in a deranged smile as he starts singing slowly and creepily as he follows her,
“Come on everypony, smile smile smile, fill our heart up with sunshine, sunshine, all we really need is a smile smile smile, from these happy friends of mine…” it says as it raises it's tails up for one final smash, but Pinkie Pie just hold her hoof up as she leans up against some rubble and looks at the Nightmare with tears in her eyes and says,
Suddenly, the Nightmare’s throat is enclosed by some sort of collar.
“That!” Pinkie yells as she points the hoof she held up, launching another knife out of her prosthetic arm and into one of the Nightmare’s eye, now leaving the monster with only two.
"GRAAAHHHHH!!! I'M BLIND!!! I MEAN HALF-BLIND, QUARTER BLI- GAHHHH!!! YOU HAVE FAILED ME, BRAIN!" The Nightmare roars in pain as he grabs his face.
Fleur lets go of her magic’s hold on the collar as her horn unglows and the last of her energy fades.
“For… Fancy…” she says as she breathes her last, lying against Fancy's body.
The Nightmare stumbles around in absolute agony as it yanks out the knife and tries (and fails) to get the collar off.
"Okay... Healy time... I said HEALY TIME!... WHY YOU NO HEALING, EYES?!!!"
He then starts panicking as he realizes his eyes are not healing and the collar won’t come off as Pinkie watches this spectacle and laughs.
Chariots…Come to take me away…I’ll be there soon girls…Don’t party without me…she thinks with a smile as the life leaves her. The “Stars” blocking all other light from the sky.
Back at the Castle
Everyone looks solemn as they watch the finale.
“She’s gone…She did it, but she’s gone” you think in sadness.
Derpy begins crying, as the Princesses speak.
"Her sacrifice will not be in vain," says Celestia
"She did her duty," says Luna.
"She went out smiling," says Cadance.
You nod at this. "And now that monster has the collar on..."
“Then there’s still hope,” the Doctor says, before a noise catches his attention.
The TARDIS monitor starts beeping and saying, Coupling found.
“What?” he says as he rushes over.
“Have you found another source for the Coupling Doctor?” asks Celestia.
“No, I haven’t found another source, I’ve found a whole Coupling!”
“How’s that possible?” you ask.
“I have no clue! But the model is exactly the one I need,” suddenly more blips appear on the screen.
“What?” he screams.
“What’s going on Doctor?” asks Celestia.
“There are multiple couplings…and they are headed our way, the only way that could happen is if…” he trails off, “No that’s not possible.”
“What’s not possible?” you ask.
“Ships…technologically advanced ships like my TARDIS, and they’re sending out some sort of signal.”
“The Time Lords are here?” asks a hopeful Derpy.
“I don’t know Ditzy…” he says as he broadcasts the frequency, and it is jumbled.
“Ow, that grates on the ears,” you complain.
“Shush, I have to make the signal clearer.”
The Doctor begins fiddling with his console, and in the breaks of the distorted sound, comes a voice.
Back with the Nightmare
It still flails around trying to get the collar off, but to no extent.
“You stupid Pink B!%$#,” it cries out at Pinkie, “What did you do to us? Why won’t our eyes heal?! Why won’t…huh?” the Nightmare says stunned as it sees thousands of metal ships descend from the sky and hover over the land.
Back with You
The voice cuts in through the static.
"Ex..."
The Doctor’s eyes widen, "No..no"
"Ex...ter"
"Oh no not them!" cries Derpy.
"Ex...ter...min"
"Doctor...please tell me I'm not hearing that. Please please tell me I'm not hearing that!" you plead.
Suddenly the radio goes crazy with shouts of one word. One, terrifying word...
The Doctor, You, and Derpy gulp in fear as the Doctor says,
"Sorry everypony...but this world’s chances of surviving just got smaller"
Back With the Nightmare
It looks up to the ships as that word is broadcast across the land. From the ships fly strange cylindrical creatures with eye stalks, and two stumpy arm protrusions, all yelling Exterminate. Forgetting the pain in it’s eyes for the moment, the Nightmare smiles.
“Now this just got real interesting…”
What do you do?
Episode 82: Invasion of the Daleks and Horde Leader Shenanigans! (Season Finale Part 9)
The sky above Canterlot is filled with flying saucers and creatures that look like salt-shakers pour out of them. Flying down and screaming,"EXTERMINATE!" as they blast every living thing in sight with their lasers.
One hovers in front of the Nightmare who just looks at it in confusion before asking,
“Okay, quick question if you’re willing, what in the buck are you?”
“Exterminate!” The Dalek says as it shoots the Nightmare with a laser.
“GGGRAAAAGGGHHHH!!!!” the Nightmare screams as the beam feels like it permeated it’s whole body, but it’s body flushes with shadow and its remaining two eyes glow in anger.
“Now that was rude…” it growls.
“Impossible! Nothing can survive the Daleks!” it says as it tries to shoot again, but the Nightmare ducks under it and tackles it, taking hold of the eye stalk.
“Daleks heh? Well that’s a stupid name,” it taunts.
“Daleks are superior, Daleks will purge this world-*crack*VISION IMPAIRED!”
The Nightmare tears off the Dalek's eye stalk before saying,
“We kind of already did that trash can, and” it leans in closer, “We don’t like competition!” it growls as it tears the top half of the Dalek off.
“Dalek destroyed! Exterminate the Dark Tailed Creature! Exterminate!” cry more warbled voices, followed by more shots.
“Aaaahhhh!!!” screams the Nightmare, “Those hurt you buckers!” it screams launching itself at the Daleks, using it's clawed hooves, nightmare tails, and magic blasts to destroy Daleks left and right. Eventually this grabs the attention of the Daleks and the majority of the invading Dalek forces converge on the Nightmare. While most creatures would be shivering in fear with just one Dalek trying to kill them, the Nightmare when confronted by dozens...
"BRING IT ON YOU SALT-SHAKERS!!!"
Yeah... Let's see how our heroes are doing...
POV Change: Bugze(You)
The Daleks start to stream out of the ships, attacking anything in site. Any poor ponies who haven't made it to the shelters in time are now nothing but pry to the Daleks and the Nightmare. You can only gulp in fear as you think,
Well...our chances of surviving just dropped down to zero.
You snap out of it through as you hear Celestia ask,
“What are these things Doctor?”
The Doctor gives a sad sigh as he turns around and tells Celestia,
“Daleks…my oldest enemies.”
“What do they want?” asks Cadance.
You take over for the Doctor as you say,
“Death…death of any creature that isn’t Dalek. They see themselves as the highest beings in the universe and that all other life is below them, so they decide to rid the universe of these lower beings via death ray.”
The Doctor and Derpy looks at you in surprise as you say in a deadpanned tone,
"What? I'm a huge fan of your show remember? You think I wouldn't remember the most terrifying species in the universe?"
The Doctor and Derpy shake off their surprise as Derpy asks
"I don't know Derpy. I'm guessing that they are here to exterminate what's left of Equestria." The Doctor replies before he starts to pace back and forth while thinking of a way to live through all this.
"Well look on the bright side, at least the Nightmare is still here." you said trying to brighten up this grim dark world.
"How is that a bright side?" everyling asked in deadpanned voice.
"Use your heads guys. The Nightmare is really powerful so he can withstand any Dalek weapon. So when they try to destroy him, he will destroy them instead and we rap up where we left off and get the buck out of here. All we got to do is sit back have a few drinks and wait it out until all this blows over" you said thinking that plan might work. Sadly that was short lived.
"There is a problem with that; There is an army of Daleks out there so at least a dozen will be on top of us in a few seconds and they will kill us all before the Nightmare can finish them off." The Doctor replied.
It takes a few minutes for this to go through your thick skull, and when it does there's only two words you can say to express how much trouble you're all in...
"Oh bugger."
Luna rolls her eyes at your antics as she asks the Doctor...
But before the Doctor or you can answer (which you would have respond with "Run like bucking Tartarus") as a explosion is heard within the castle. The Daleks burst in through the hole and into the Palace and attempt to shoot everypony.
The Daleks begin yelling,
"INFERIOR LIFE FORMS DETECTED! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!"
Soon death lasers are being blasted all over the room. Everyling takes a dive for cover, but Celestia is too late as a blast hits her and she collapses. Your eyes widen in horror as you think she's dead, but the Doctor (who's hiding with you) shakes his head as he says,
"Don't worry, she's fine. The blast merely hurt her. Dalek lasers aren't as effective with killing when he comes to alicorns."
You are about to express your doubt when you see Celestia suddenly get up and blast on of the Dalek's to pieces! This catches the remaining Daleks attention as one of them shouts,
“Impossible! The horned and winged ones are immune!"
A crash is heard, as the Daleks swivel around and see Derpy, having tripped while trying to get into the TARDIS. Panic shoots through you and the Doctor as they advance on her.
"Inferior Life Form! Ex..."
The Daleks then notice The TARDIS. You gulp slightly at this as you and the Doctor are hiding behind it. But you feel relief as they haven't notice you, just the spaceship of their arch-nemesis.
...
Wait a second....
“Impossible!”
“A TARDIS?!”
"You! Female! Who's TARDIS is that?"
Derpy gets up and stands her ground, facing them.
"You know who it belongs to...The Doctor," she says.
The Daleks start quivering as they seem nervous.
"Impossible!"
“The Time Lords Are No More,”
“You shall be exterminated! The Doctor is No More!”
“I wouldn’t say that gents,” the Doctor says as he walks out from behind the TARDIS and in front of Derpy.
The Daleks all look at the Doctor in what you guess is shock as they shout in...fear?
“THE DOCTOR LIVES?!”
“THE DOCTOR IS HERE?!”
“Maybe not your Doctor, but yes The Doctor lives,” he calmly tells them.
“EXTERMINATE!!!” they all shout.
You push the Doctor and Derpy out of the way while putting up a forcefield, causing the death beams aimed at him to bounce back. A few of the Daleks manage to dodge them, while the others get hit and are destroyed. The remaining Daleks aim their weapons at you but Cadence and Luna manage to take them out before they could fire.
As you and the others catch your breaths, you hear Selena comment in your mind,
It seems hard to believe that these things are such galactic terrors, as ridiculous as they look.
Silly or not, these things are flippin horrifying, you answer.
I know, your knowledge of the serial has shown me that, be careful Bugze
Don't I always? you jibe
No, she answers.
Your eyes widen as you chuckle nervously,
Oh, right...
After a few more minutes of rest the Doctor takes out his Sonic Screwdriver and starts scanning one of the dead Daleks. After a few minutes he sighs and puts the screw diver away. After that he clears his throat as he says,
"Alright everypony, I have some good news and bad news."
You look at the Doctor already dreading the news as you ask,
"What's the good news?"
"Well the good news is that most of the Daleks are busy trying to kill the Nightmare."
"And the bad news?" Celestia asks
The Doctor sighs as he says,
"The only way to get a coupling is to board one of those ships. And well there's still Daleks patrolling the area looking for ponies to kill."
The Doctor says that last part with a scowl. You and the others give a sigh as you say,
"Of course we have to, it's not an adventure with the Doctor unless you have to board a evil aliens ship."
The Doctor makes a annoyed sound before he makes a follow me gesture. You and the others nod your heads as you all begin to follow him.As you all leave the castle as stealthy as you all can, you all start to make your way towards the spaceship in the center of the city. The Doctor reasoning that the center one should have the right coupling the TARDIS needs. As you pass by a city street, you see a fat earth pony wearing one of the Horde leader cloaks (you assume the ones wearing sliver cloaks and have a black version of your logo are the ones in charge) pulling a huge cart full of junk food (mainly burgers of all patties, toppings, and buns) when suddenly a strange object slams into his face and he and the cart disappear in a flash.
You rub your eyes in shock as you mutter,
"The buck just happened?"
"Bugze! Stop gawking and come on! The longer you stand the better a chance a Dalek is gonna find you!"
You snap out of it as you say,
"Ah right! Coming Doc!"
As you catch up with the others you can't help but think,
Kersey (the fat pony from before) and his cart finds himself in front of a Neighponese-looking movie palace (curiously, it was the only building left untouched during the Nightmare's rampage) in the ruins of Las Pegasus (half of Smaug's skeleton is right behind him). After adjusting his glasses, Kersey's eyes light up in recognition of the building as he says,
"Could it be..." as he unhitches the cart and opens the door. What greets him is piles and piles of movie reels (the Nightmare collected every movie and serial he could find and stored them all here so he can binge-watch them with "Nightshade" after he's done slaughtering the world). His eyes lighting up at this, Kersey starts looking through the reels and exclaims,
Kersey starts happily going through all the reels,
"Movies! Serials! All the reels I'll need, all the reels I'll ever want! Speilburro, Adeera, Hitchcock..."
With that he sits down and hugs a bunch of reels to himself in bliss.
"All the movies I want! All the reels..."
MEANWHILE, WITH THE NIGHTMARE
"EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMIN-*crush*"
"SHUT UP!!! THAT'S GETTING REPETITIVE!" the Nightmare screams in annoyance before rapidly whipping out his 7 tails(2 have been chopped off and one is being used as a tourniquet/headband for the bleeding holes where 2 of his eyes were thanks to Pinkie's orichalcum knives) and grabs Daleks before viciously slamming them against all hard surfaces with enough force to shatter them as he yells, "SHUTUP-INATE, SHUTUP-INATE, SHUTUP-INATE, SHUT-THE-BUCK-UP-INATE!!!"
After destroying all nearby Daleks, another wave comes in from above,
"Time to kill all the birds with one boulder." the Nightmare says as he uses some Nightmare Tails to lift himself into the air and charge a big ball of energy as the Daleks continue lasering him (at this point, the Nightmare had gotten use to the Dalek's lasers).
"NIGHTMARE GRAVITY IMPLOSION!"
The Nightmare declares as he throws the ball of doom at one of the fling saucers. Upon impact, the ball begins sucking in nearby flying saucers and many Daleks before it explodes in a great big orange hell-bubble in the sky.
"Daddy, are those things cyborgs, robots, or aliens in weird battle suits?" 'Nightshade' asks,
"Hmmm... Let's find out!" the Nightmare says as it whips out one tail to grab one of the Daleks before asking it,
"Excuse us, but can you tell us if you're a robot or battle armor?"
"WE ARE SUPERIOR LIFE FORMS T-"
"Fine... we'll just figure that out ourselves." the Nightmare says before tearing the Dalek open revealing a little squid-like creature inside,
"Ooooo... A prize!"
"NOOOOO-*chomp*" the Dalek screams before the Nightmare tears him out of the shell and eats him,
"Hmmm chicken-y with hints of psycho and purple... Want some Nightshade?" the Nightmare comments as he takes out the Luna plushie only for Dalek lasers to graze "Nightshade".
In a cold rage, the Nightmare grabs the offending Dalek, smashes it around himself, and then slingshots his tails to launch the Dalek far away...
APPLEWOOD
We now see that Kersey has organized the film reels into categorized stacks and is gleefully talking to himself as he walks through the piles,
"Science-Fiction... Drama... Comedies... Dramedies... This month... next month... next year..."
He then stops to do a giddy happy-dance before saying,
"And I have all the time in the world to watch them!"
He stops as he admires a makeshift diorama in the corner of the theater where the Nightmare had crucified the bodies of Adam Saddler and M. Night Shymalamadingdong while between the bodies is a picture of the Nightmare taking a selfie while Michael Beigh is tied and gagged on top of a huge pile of explosives as a Luna Plushie lies on the detonator,
"Sure, this is God's collection and he's destroying Canterlot, but that's just Equestria. There's still Yakyakistan, Saddle Arabia, Neighpon, and many other nations. Who knows how long it'll take for him to cleanse them all! Even if he does come back early, surely he will be pleased enough at me organizing all this that he'll at least let me live to finish my burgers." the obese Earth pony rationalizes to himself as he unwraps a medium-rare cheeseburger (yeah, it's actual beef, but it's the end of the world so he doesn't give a buck) with mayo, lettuce, tomato, pickles, grilled onions, grilled mushrooms, and white cheddar cheese and takes a messy bite out of it, the juices dripping onto the floor.
"And the best thing... the very best thing of all is that everypony else is dead now. No stupid worthless ponies standing in front of me in line, talking, laughing, or even breathing. No bosses, no co-workers, no professors, no family, no nagging parents, and especially no more of that stupid brown mutt!" he begins to rant like a stallion-foal, "Hijacking and changing all MY plans without even telling me (even though I told him REPEATEDLY why those plans must stay) AND getting the boss to push ME to the side and ignore me! I was a Horde member LONG before that brown bitch!"
Kersey stops his rant and calms down when he reaches the "Action" stack. He quickly wolves down the burger and chugs down a bottle of vanilla cola after it with a belch. He then leans to pick up Marevengers: Infinity War, but he slips on some of the beef juice causing his glasses to fall off and-
*shatter*
"No... It's not fair! I finally had the time, the food, and the solitude. It's just not fair..."
With that, the obese Earth Pony starts to weep over his broken glasses
*CRASH CRUSH SPLATTER*
But Kersey's misery is ended when a Dalek crashes through the roof of the theater and crushes him, splattering the Earth Pony's fat everywhere. His final words being...
"At least I survived longer then that...Brown...mutt..."
And with that, Kersey the fat earth pony was no more...
The Brown Dog, a Diamond Dog with some sick shades, stands with his fellow Horde Cult members in deep thought
"It was a cool battle, but it was a shame the pink one died, she was kind of awesome..."
When he suddenly shivers all over.
"Funny, I feel as though I was insulted and just as quickly was avenged..."
"Brown Dog! Wake Up!" shouts the voice of Snap Drake, shaking him out of his thinking
"Huh? What, what is it?" he asks as he looks up and sees the ships for the first time. Apparently his deep thinking caused him to blank out for a bit. He and the others then witness alien ships descending from the sky.
“The Buck is this?” he asks aloud.
Then the word Exterminate is said aloud.
“The Buck is that?”
Then Daleks come streaming out.
“The Buck are those?”
The Daleks then come across members of the horde and start killing them easily.
“…OK, so that’s happening…” he mumbles.
Snap Drake turns to him, “Brown Dog, what should we do?”
“I don’t bucking know. Why you asking me?”
“Because Kersey is out buying junk food and movies with the money the master gave him, and you’re the only thing holding us together,” he says.
He looks at the others then at Snap Drake incredulously,
“Buddy, I joined this group because otherwise I’d be extremely bored, I’ve just been messing around most the time because it makes that slob angry. I ain’t holding anybody together.”
“Still, what should we do?” he asks.
“OK, here’s the plan…try not to die and go do your own thing. See ya!” he says before running off down the street.
"Wait that's it?! But there are so many counting on you! It's your duty!"
"Space Trashcans are killing everything, my priorities lie elsewhere!" he calls back.
“But what are you going to do?” Snap Drake yells.
The Brown Dog sees a familiar looking blonde-maned unicorn stallion rolling down the street in a wheelchair being pushed by a butler (the butler has an expression on his face that screams "Kill me...") as the unicorn pets a yappy dog.
“I’m so sorry Precious, Daddy will get you out of here,” he says with a snooty voice, "Faster you peasant!"
“I’m going to go eat something expensive and full of gas,” he calls back.
With that he runs after the now fleeing Blueblood.
BACK WITH YOU AND THE OTHERS
You and the others have been moving from ally to ally and so far you've all run into only a few Daleks (which were quickly dispatched of thanks to the princesses). You've also come across a few Horde Cultist, but they were usually... uh... taken care of by a Dalek or stray rubble-
"AAAAAHHHHH!!!"
"Hey come back here, I only want to chew on your liver a bit!"
Also, you witnessed a Diamond Dog running after a screaming Prince Blue(No)balls.
Putting that disturbing (but still satisfying) scene out of your mind, you round a corner by Doughnut Joe's destroyed shop...
A bunch of daleks corner Celestia and shoot confetti at the Princess The daleks all say "THIS DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE" Then Familiar laughter is heard and Discord can be heard "Make sense? Oh what fun is there in making sense?"
Run right into a group of Daleks.
"Eeep!" you scream.
"Exterminate!" they cry as Celestia jumps protectively in front of you.
But the lasers don't come, instead a bunch of confetti is spread.
"WHAT?!" "ILLOGICAL!" "THIS MAKES NO SENSE!"
While they are distracted the Princesses are able to take them out. As they do such, You, and the others hear in your heads what sounds like Discord's distant voice,
You tense up because you know you saw him killed...
"Did anyling else hear that?" you ask.
Everyling nods.
"Didn't he die?" you ask.
It's then that you notice multicolored blood on the ground...Discord's blood. You quickly get out of the blood while freaking out at the fact you were standing in Discords blood. However you do calm down enough to hear Celestia say,
"What little lingering magic in his blood must of have protected us."
"Well thanks from beyond the grave Discord! And uh sory for stepping in you..." you call out as you all continue to make your way towards the town center.
As you and the group continue to run towards the center of town towards the mothership you can't help but think,
I am running across rainbows, everywhere are pink furless monkeys riding... stuff. I run further, behind me everything withers away.
The monkeys become rotten, and stink. The flowers lose their water and become dry and dead, the rainbow becomes gray...
There is a light. The horizon has a light! I laughed.
I couldn't wait to see how this nightmare would end. Would it end with the Nightmare killing me?
Would it end by him leaving me, or would he rescue me?
The latter would be unlikely, but I couldn't wait.
I focussed my dream on getting me there faster, I had to know! Could I finally die?
I was almost there... I could see his four eyes already!
Dream, tell me, dream: Can I die?
BACK IN THE REAL WORLD
*YOWL*
I fly out of the house, something exploding behind me. I look around, everywhere are trashcans. I shake my head, the other horde-members could have done this.
Oh well, more ways to die. I walk down the street, growling to get their attention. A few hordemembers, four or so, notice me, and ask what they should do. It is the selfproclaimed 'Ragin' Demons'-squad. A bunch of worthless pegasi, I gesture for them to fight the trashcans.
"Well, Solarkness, I know you don't like to talk about it, or cannot since you are mute, but you really stink. Have you ever bathed?"
I snicker internally. Those idiots, they still haven't figured I am a Timberwolf. They all think I have damaged voice-chords. Their problem, not mine. I growl at them while activating the enchanted function of my cape. It was designed to be able to imitate our Master's 'rage eye'.
The capes of the other leaders have that function too. The squad gets the hint and runs away, ironically in the direction with the fewest trashcans. Oh well, no time for that. I need to search my Alpha.
After the Nightmare destroyed Appleloosa, he ravaged in my forest. Everywhere was splintered wood, they couldn't form themselves back, it was horrifying. I hid inside a hollow tree, trying to escape his wrath. Later I found out he killed the rest of my pack, therefore he is the new Alpha.
That is why I joined the Crimson Horde. He probably was just going through, and he had that potential...
I can see Alpha smashing trashcans back there! I have to help him.
As I begin to run towards Alpha, I hear a voice:
"EXTERMINATE!", and also lost all feeling for my tail. I turned around, and saw one of the trashcans pointing one of those pony-things at me. It reminded me of the one that could stick to the wall... the pink thing.
"EXTERMINATE!", this time I am ready to dodge the laser. I jump onto the Dalek, and start tearing it apart. I stopped, and saw that I did almost no damage. This is going to take a while...
While tearing, waiting for my claws to reform, and redoing this procedure, I wonder if I would have joined the Horde Cult anyways.
I was always fascinated by the potential of the ponies to kill. They could be sooo much better at it than even the most brutal pack-leader. I always wanted to join a group of them designated to kill, and learn a thing or two from them. If I had heard of the Horde Cult. I probably would have left the pack for the Horde Pack anyways.
Finally I am through the outermost layer, I can now see what is inside...
*sniff*
Is that bacon? PLEASE BE BACON! I NEED BACON! I would join the most two-goodie-horseshoesgroup for bacon! The thought of it alone makes my mouth water...
I run off towards the source of the delicious sme... no, aroma!
Nearby with the Ragin' Demons Fraction
"Are you sure this is going to get him to help us?", Fast Flier asks.
They are waiting inside a house, surrounded by TWO of those terrifying Daleks!
"Of course it is!", Tactical Genius replies..
Of course, those are not their real names, but the names they have given themselves in their squad.
They heard something crash into something else outside, some shouts of "EXTERMINATE!" and "GET OUT OF MY FACE WORTHLESS CREATURE!"
Suddenly something rushes through the door, and sits down before them. Genius never figured out how Solarkness, a friggin' pony for Luna's beautiful flank, could digest meat and not get sick, but once again it saved their lives.
Solar has saved them for the sixty-third time now.
He whimpers, for once not accompanied by him waggling his tail, looking at the plate with bacon hungrily...
"Sure you can have it. Ugh, this smell..."
As Solarkness begins to...devour his meal, Tactical can't help but ask,
"Hey, how do you think Grey Rebl's group is doing?"
Fast shrugs his shoulders as he says,
"Don't know, maybe they actually found shelter from these's bucking salt shakers."
A grey-brown unicorn, severe looking and has an expression of pure panic and frustration, paces in front of a group of ponies. He isn't at all nice to look at, but he is nonetheless one of the leaders of the Occult. All of them are inside the safety and confines of a secure building. The pony speaks, braces visibly showing as he struggles to do so.
"So, folks, we are hiding under this building because we have an entire legion of violent pepper shakers on to our flanks, ready to kill in an instant." Grey Rebl, leader of this part of the Occult, stops pacing around in front of the minor followers. "...And why the buck did we separate from the rest of the group again?"
One of the ponies on cloaks raises a hoof. "...Er, because we didn't listen?"
"That's right! And what did I say?"
"'Don't run in only armed with spoons and forks'," another says.
"...and then, somehow, I suddenly had to, of all bucking times, care enough to save you lot and stress over your bucking lives!" the leader shouts exasperatedly.
"Oh, yeah! Thanks by the way!"
"Buck you! You guys ruined everything! This was supposed to be perfect! We rock the place and then we die as proud and contributing members of the hoard! That's how it should be! Perfection!"
"C-calm down! It's not like we'd have to do much work. God would do it for us!"
The grey-brown pony glares at the speaker as he shouts,
"Calm down? Calm down?! You don't tell some pony with OCD to calm the buck down! And don't you bucking ever use that bullspit of an excuse ever again, because God would be dissed for being the Mule of bucking burden in the very End of Bucking Times!
"And most of all: we don't do God's work by sitting on our flanks, lazying all about as your superiors do all the heavy load!" He then went on the pony's face. "Because I certainly don't want to be dead weight again, asking the other leaders for help to take charge of you lot!"
"Oh, come on!" A mare from the group pipes in. "We were doing stuff like you said! We actually helped destroy that one building! Right guys?"
Everypony present, sans the leader, nods in agreement. Grey just growls in anger. He promptly stares down one stallion in particular.
"Then, Ernie, where were you that time when we needed to move the dynamite?"
"Oh, uh, I needed to use the restroom, so I had Gabon here fill me in."
"And where the buck was Gabon when I was hauling the cursed thing alone?"
Everypony looks at Gabon.
"Ch-charm!" Gabons says to a mare. "I thought you would help with the favor you owed!"
"W-well, I thought Daybreak would help for the favor that SHE owed me!"
So, the blame game practically circles around, and nobody knew who was supposed to end up helping their leader.
Grey rubs a hoof to the base of his horn, hoping to relieve a forming headache. "So for the past few HOURS, everypony did jack squat?"
The mare from previously stutters, "That was only one building—!"
"May I need to remind you all that we're trying to blow up SEVERAL buildings at once? And detonate them at the very end?"
"..."
"..."
"Er, Gray—I can call you Gray Rebel, right?" some pony finally says, "Do you want an apple to help calm you down?"
His fury stills. No, it didn't go away. Instead, the fury became tranquil. And stronger. "Let me tell you something nice..." Grey says. "One: You better have spelled my name right, because my name as of right isn't a bucking typo! And Grey for my name is spelt with a bucking "E"! Not "A"! It gets me pissed! Even more so when even the word of motherbucking God gets it wrong!
"Two: I have braces. You can practically SEE them right now! I can't eat a whole apple, let alone bite!
"Three: I hate apples! They make my throat itch, even with salt!
"Four: Don't you bucking dare talk to me like an idiot or a child!
"And Five: Show some bucking respect! I saved your sorry flanks out there just now! And even before, I had to work my flank off to keep ALL of us afloat thus far, so our bucking God and the other leaders won't have to skin us alive for being 'unfaithful'!"
The pony is just taken aback by his outburst. "I, uh, I didn't know?" he tries.
Grey just stares at the stallion. "Here's the thing: I publicly announce some of those very things—Written and voiced in a rant—, so how the bucking Almighty gods of heaven and Tartarus didn't any of you know this?!"
Silence.
"Didn't you read the Q&A next to the code of conduct?!"
"...Wait, so it wasnt just ramble?"
Grey groans. He mutters, "Why the buck do I have to be leader and be responsible? Why can't I be a henchman where I would at least be useful and supportive to a leader who would actually dedicate much more towards our cause?"
"You say something, sir?"
"Nothing!" Grey yells back. Then, he depressingly utters to himself, "My leadership skills just suck too bucking much..." With a deep sigh, he looks toward the ceiling. They feel a tremble, obviously the work of the Nightmare. Dust falls from their hiding place, dirtying the already dirty imterior. An ominous moment of silence later, Grey has enough. He stands up.
"Well, buck it. We are all going to die soon. So consider this your last order from me: Run wild."
All the present members grins eagerly at that announcement! Finally! Grey Rebl lets them do something other than follow a strict plan!
"Just so you know..." Grey lifts a Nephi Driver menacingly. "I'd rather die angry...
"So don't get in my way."
SOMETIME LATER
"...I've met a Dalek once. That one could swim," Grey Rebl says. "I never knew what the numbers on him was for... But, nonetheless, you tin cans are not like him. No, not at all!" He stares defiantly upwards at all the floating beings before him. "So, for defiling the image of one of my past friends—by the God of Vengeance, the Nightmare, I will bucking murder all of you all!"
"A Nine-Iron—" Grey Rebl shouts. "—and Nokia Phone Armor in honor to Registered Anonymous!" With that, he swings wildly all round, bashing the heads of Daleks ruthlessly, if albeit uneffectively
He slams a gold statue onto the face of Dalek, bending the long rod that is supposed to be its eye. "Gold for Golden Statue!"
"An arrow to the knee for, uh, some pony... I forgot his name. He might have numbers in them. Buck! I even don't know his face!" He just slams the arrow on hoof to the nearest Dalek.
"A." *Clank!* "Bad." *Clank!* "Flank." *Clank!* "Crow!" *Clank!* "Bar!" *Criiiing!* "...in toast for Gordon Freebrony!" With that, he pops open the "lid" of a Dalek and proceeds to pummel the insides with the but of the crowbar.
"And finally... For the last two!" He brought out two things: A razor and a pole with a flag. "An Occam's razor to logikz for Razor the Awesome!" He throws said razor, and, by the blessing of the gods, it somehow cuts through the Dalek shielding and makes an open slit to its armor. And then...
"And a motherbucking flag for Daedaltheus!"
He slams home the flagpole into the opening and spears through its insides, making the Dalek sputter incoherent things out in rage.
"With that said, as for me—"
Suddenly, a lazer unceremoniously hits him. He didn't disintegrate, his Nokia-Phone Armor and cloak took the incineration part of the hit, but the damage is done. His health—his body, after many months of being a part of the Occult, finally fails him.
"Leader, noooo!" Some of the cultists went to his fallen form, cradling him with their hooves.
"There—" he coughs "—there's something I-I wanted to tell you guys..."
"W-what is it, sir?"
Grey stares at them straight in the eyes. "I hated you guys. I hated you guys the most. Oh, and I actually don't believe in God. I think you are all just a bunch of fools believing in Mumbo jumbo. I just joined because I believed in the vengeance and all that crud."
"Oh," one of them says. "Well, Buck you, too. Just die already, jerk."
"Okay," Grey Rebl says, and, finally, his eyes rolls back and his body ceremoniously limps. "Blegh."
"..."
"..."
"...Is he really dead?" one of the asks.
"I don't know, let me poke him just to check."
"I hope he stays dead. That stallion's got issues."
"Who were all those names he kept screaming out?"
"I think they were his old Ogres and Obelisks gaming group before it disbanded."
"Oh, well they were probably jerks too,"
"Probably, hey wanna go find Kichi's group? Heard they have a video game cache."
"Sweet! Let's go before more of those tin-cans show up!" With that the cultist leave their leaders body behind, leaving it to be crushed by some sort of rubble or burned in some random fire....
Daleks begin to 'walk' around Canterlot. Meanwhile in a house, a single changeling with horde leadership robes was playing some games. Around him sat a couple of green cocoons that enclosed the previous owners of the house.
When suddenly, someling knocks on the door.
"Gah, just who is knocking now? It must be one of the ones that I sent for pizza… or maybe for games, or for cake... Sigh, I was hoping to have more time but of course the Offender goes crazy... It's not enough a crazy queen that seems to forgot every class about hiding in ponyland 101, now I have a homicidal boss that talks to a doll and wants to destroy the world..." groans the changeling
He presses pause and puts some blankets around the glowing green cocoons. The green glow could still be seen from under the blankets but he ignores it. He begins to think and remember. Thinking about how he seemed to be the only changeling more or less sane that survived the pink psycho.
And all because of what happened at the wedding, he thinks to himself. But even so, he managed to become one of the generals of the horde.
"Kichi!! Open the door! Hurry!" Shouted the voice from the other side of the door.
The changeling groaned, a green fire appeared around him, turning him into a white unicorn very similar to Shining Armor except with a dark mane. After that he looked into the spyhole of the door to saw another member of the horde, he was more or less a colt, but still a member. He unlike other generals, liked the young members, they had more imagination and the best thing was that nopony believed them. It was one of the multiple reasons he was one of the generals.
"What is the password?" Asked Kichi and waited, laughing a little
It was mainly an excuse to annoy the other members of his group, but it seemed the colt did not have time
"There is no password! Now open the bucking door or I will not help you beat that boss in Batmane Arkham Asylum." says the colt on the other side.
Kichi opened the door and the colt ran into the house.
"Hey, where’s is the fire?" ask Kichi.
"Maybe everywhere? Can't you see what’s happening?" asked the colt
Kichi looked around to see almost every house destroyed, except the house he was in. And a group of strange tin cans shooting lasers.
"EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!" Shouted the strange cans
"So... Are they related to our crazy boss?" asked Kichi.
"No, they are aliens that want to destroy everything." says the colt
"So... They are not friends of the boss?" asks Kichi with a smile.
The colt groans and closes the door.
"So... It's seems that I missed something... What about the others?" asked Kichi.
"Those Tin Cans shot lasers and killed some in the McApple, and the videogame shop was empty, I think most of them are just hiding and waiting for something to happen." commented the colt.
"Buck, another one of the generals must have the same idea" groaned Kichi.
"So... What's the plan? Let the boss take care of it?" asks the colt.
Of course, the Daleks don't know that their weapons are no good, and shoot at the nightmare even though it brings no results. A Kirov Gunship (from the games Red Alert 2 and 3) shows up and attempts to bomb the nightmare, which unfortunately isn't badly fazed. Nightmare; laughs He attacks it, but it survives his first efforts to destroy it due to the fact that it's tough. Nightmare; What? How are you able to survive our attacks!? You're just a gas-filled balloon! On his third attempt, he finally succeeds in bringing it down... and it crashes right into his face.
"EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!" Shouted the strange cans.
The Nightmare was taking care of them when suddenly a great and big ship appeared over him.
"Oh, look honey, a great big metal balloon!"
"Yay!" cries out 'Nightshade'
"Identify Yourself!" asks a voice inside the ship
"Our name is not important, but you can call us, your Nightmare..."
"Yay, Daddy is going to take care of you trash cans!" 'Nightshade' says in delight.
"And this is our daughter, Nightshade." says the Nightmare
"Scanning... You are communicating with an inanimate object! You are making the sound of her talking!" says the talking metal balloon.
"She is alive, and We will not let you insult her!" growled the Nightmare before he shouts,
"Dark No-Shadow Kick!"
Before launching himself at the balloon with a flurry of kicks and Nightmare Tail stirkes and while it dents, it doesn't destroy it.
"Hey What Gives! Why You No Go Boom? There was supposed to be a earth shattering kaboom! You're nothing but a gas filled balloon," the Nightmare shouts.
The balloon drops an electric bomb on the Nightmare that knocks him into the rubble of a building and it hurts a lot worse than the normal Dalek weapons.
"Daleks do not travel in balloons!"
The Nightmare groans as it's front left leg hangs limply and the burns across his chest are excruciating.
"You Pink Whorse... this is all your fault," he curses the deceased Pinkie. He then crawls out and calls back to the ship.
"Let's try that again!" he roars again as he charges up an energy blast with his horns and tails,
"Illogical! You are supposed to be Extermin-" the Dalek gets out before the ship explodes when hit by the magic blast.
"There we go! Much Bet- *CRASH*"
And the flaming wreckage of the ship lands right on top of him.
BACK WITH KICHI
Kichi was watching what his boss was doing until the flaming zeppelin fell on him.
"Think he survived that?" the colt asks.
Almost as if he was answering that question, the Nightmare just walks out of the flaming wreckage, popping his front left limb back into place with one of his Nightmare tails.
"And that is why it is best to leave others to take care of the problem" comments Kichi.
Kichi looked to the colt that was busy playing videogames
"Did you hear what I just said?" he asks.
"Uhh... No..." The colt responds.
Kichi groans and takes out another controller.
"Well... Let's wait for the others or the boss. The others are currently taking care of Canterlot after all. They knew what to do if something like this happened. Besides I bet the boss will take care of everything sooner or later."
POV Change: The Nightmare
Nightmare spots the Boom Shackalacka Nightmare Knocker Version 2.0. "George!" the Nightmare cries out in happiness as he picks up the cannon, "NOW we can have some fun..."
As the Nightmare tears apart yet 3 more Daleks, it then grabs another one and is about to bust it open when it spots out of the corner of one of it's good eyes the Boom Shackalacka Nightmare Knocker Version 2.0.
The Nightmare's eyes widen in joy as it calls out,
"George!"
It then nonchalantly squishes the Dalek into a pancake like shape as it runs over to the gigantic cannon and picks it up.
"Now to see if you can still sing, but who shall we test you on..."
He looks around and then up before seeing a group of Daleks coming in flying close together out of a flying saucer.
"Well that's convenient" the Nightmare says as he charges up the cannon and lets loose a rainbow energy blast that disintegrates the Daleks and the flying saucer.
"STRIKE!!!" the Nightmare exclaims before he smiles devilishly and says,
"NOW we can have some fun..."
*Sniff*Sniff*
"In fact..."
The Nightmare smiles evilly as it sniffs the air before saying in a sing song voice,
"We smell royalty~
It turns around to just see a part of Celestia's mane. It smiles even more as he says,
"OH HONEY! WE'RE HOOOOOMMMMMEEE!"
With that he chases after her...
POV Change: Bugze (You)
You and the others turn a corner just as the Nightmare turned around. Somehow, someway, the Nightmare worked it's way close to the center of town. And he's just in the path you all were traveling. The Doctor wipes his brow as he says,
"I don't think he-"
A rainbow blast blows through the walls of the castle as the Nightmare strolls in saying, " before blasting Celestia through a wall with it.
*BOOOOOOOMMMMMM*
The Doctor's sentence is interrupted as a rainbow blast destroys the building behind him. The Doctor gulps in fear as he turns around to see...
The Nightmare aiming the barrel of the cannon down at Celestia. The Nightmare smiles insanely before he says,
With that he fires the beam at Celestia, hitting the target head on! Celestia is sent through the building behind her, causing Luna and Cadence to shout out in shock,
"SISTER/AUNTY!"
The Nightmare grins evilly as he turns to them and says,
"Now that she's out of the way, lets deal with you tw-"
He stops mid-sentence as his eyes widen as he sees something....you.
You stare back and a feeling of familiarity washes over you.
You both stare at each other for a good long while,, but before anything could happen a golden beam of magic blasts him flying away. Not to soon after that Celestia is back a little battered but not bruised. Celestia sighs before she says,
"Doctor, were not too far from the ship. I want you, your companions, and Cadence to get going. Me and Luna will hold him back!"
The Doctor nods his head at this and he and Derpy start to make a run for it. However Cadence gets tears in her eyes as she shouts out,
"No! You can't stay and fight him now! After the Daleks and the coupling you're not ready! You'll die for sure!"
Celestia and Luna nod sadly before Celestia says,
"I know my niece, but helping the Doctor make sure that none of this ever happens is more important. And while we can hold the Nightmare back, you can't. When we're gone somepony needs to lead the few that live into the new era of peace. Please, go."
Cadence, tears in her eyes, shakes her head as she says,
"No! I'm not leaving you!"
Luna sighs before she says,
"Tennant, please take our niece and go. The Nightmare is coming."
You nod your head solemnly as you grab Cadence and say,
"Come on Cadence, we need to go."
Cadence struggles against your hold for a few seconds, before she gives in and follows you away. Celestia and Luna sigh before Luna says,
"It was a honor ruling by your side Sister."
Celestia nods her head sadly before she says,
"As it was with you sister."
With that said thy prepare for their final battle.
The Nightmare crashes through a kitchen and drops the cannon next to him. The combined Dalek lasers shooting him while he was sent flying, and Celestia's attack hurt him. He feels a bit out of breath, but when he looks up, he sees a Diamond Dog in cultist robes, with a hog tied Prince Blueblood on the table in a sauce pan surrounded by, carrots, potatoes and cabbages with an apple stuffed in his mouth. The Dog is chewing on the Prince’s severed horn like a bone.
“Oh, hey Master Offender, did you know you’re missing two eyes and a horn?” he says.
“The buck is going on here?” asks the Nightmare.
“Oh well this jack off here was responsible for a cousin of mine dying in his illegal mines, so now I’m going to cook him up and eat him,” the Brown Dog says nonchalantly.
Blueblood’s squeals are muffled by the apple while Precious sits in a chair nearby wagging it’s tail happily.
“You’re going to eat him?” asks the Nightmare.
“Well I figured, ‘Hey, space trash cans are killing everything else in sight, so why not?’ And seriously, when else am I going to get this kind of chance?”
“We see your point, this pompous moron has always been hated by us.”
“I know right?, anyway, want to wait with me till he’s cooked and have a bite?”
A laser blast hits the wall behind the Nightmare.
“No thanks, we’re in kind of a hurry, We’ll just take a free sushi sample,” it says before proceeding to unhinge it’s jaw and shove Blueblood inside.
He screams in agony inside the Nightmare’s mouth.
“Wow, *Crunch Crunch* we can literally taste the jackass flavor, *swallow*, anyway, so long!” he says jumping out the hole in the wall while grabbing the cannon.
The Brown Dog looks upset.
“Haven’t you ever heard of ‘sharing is caring?!’” he yells as his stomach growls. “Great, now what am I supposed to eat?”
A cracked open Dalek then is thrown into the room, showing the soft fleshy creature inside.
“You, canine, will be exterminated!” it yells not being able to move.
The Brown Dog shrugs, “Eh, better than nothing,” before popping the Dalek into the oven where Blueblood was supposed to go.
“No, nooooo!!!!” shouts the exposed Dalek.
BACK WITH BUGZE (YOU)
While you leave behind Celestia and Luna to their final stand, You , the Doctor, Derpy and Cadance cut through a nearby library to avoid Daleks.
As you run through the maze of books, you hear
“EXTERMINATE!” from a Dalek up ahead. Following that is a rather loud,
“SHHH!!!”
“What the hay?” you say as you look around the corner.
There, at a table reading books with headphones on is a unicorn mare with messy reddish hair, a sweater on and glasses.
Her whole attention is on a book in front of her, even as the Dalek rolls closer.
“You Will Be Exterminated!” yells the Dalek.
“Shh!” the mare shushes again without even looking up.
Suddenly the Dalek shoots the book out of her hooves, she turns around angrily, but her expression turns to shock and fear when she sees the Dalek.
“We will have your attention as you are EXTERMINATED!” shouts the Dalek, aiming his laser at her.
The mare screams at the top of her lungs, throwing her legs out in front of her.
You tackle her out of the way just as the laser shoots.
She looks at your face as you yell “Stay Down!”
“Extermi- “ it cries before you whip out your Boom Stick and ram it right into the eyestalk blasting the Dalek’s head off.
“Exterminate that!” you yell.
You then turn around and help the mare up as she looks at you in awe.
“What are you doing here? Don’t you know it’s the end of the world?” you ask her.
“I-I was just…” she says enraptured before rushing forth and giving you a bone crunching hug.
“Thank you, thank you so much!” she cries.
“Y-you’re welcome,” you gasp as you squeeze out of her grip.
“Listen, you need to get down to the crystal caverns, it’s not safe up here.”
“R-right…what’s your name,” she asks.
“I’m Bugze,”
“I’m Moon Dancer,” she says with a blush.
An explosion rocks the library as more cries of Exterminate are heard.
“Alright, that’s nice, now get going!” you command.
“R-right!” she cries as she runs off, glancing back at you.
“Yeesh, crazy mare, reading while the world ends, Twilight would probably do that if she were still around…actually, that mare looked almost exactly like…”
An explosion sounds.
“Come on!” cries Derpy.
“Oh yeah, right, end of the world!”
As you run towards the mothership with the others, you can't help but think,
I hope the princess (and that crazy mare) make it out of that fight okay. I do not need anymore of my...frenemies dying on me.
Meanwhile in the Vault. Sapphire Shores is rocking it on and ponies are cheering, headbanging and just about everything else that has to do with raves when suddenly the power goes out.. As the emergency lights activate a loud thumping is heard from the heavy door. It quickly becomes the only sound to be heard in the complex as ponies listen in fear and hope the door will hold. Suddenly the loud thumping is drowned out as the speakers crackle with one word repeated over and over with deafening volume. Panic sprads and soon the loud noise of a door designed to survive falling into the sun being ripped apart fills the complex rogether with screams of ''EXTERMINATE!".
Meanwhile in the Vault
Moon Dancer is able to get into the crystal caverns and is thankful for the company. Sapphire Shores is still rocking it on and ponies are cheering, headbanging, other kinds of banging and just about everything else that has to do with raves when suddenly the power goes out. As the emergency lights activate a loud thumping is heard from the heavy security door. It quickly becomes the only sound to be heard in the complex as ponies listen in fear and hope that the door will hold. Suddenly the loud thumping is drowned out as the speakers crackle with one word repeated over and over, the deafening volume making it hard to hear the word clearly,
Panic spreads and soon the loud noise of a door (designed to survive falling into the sun) explodes upon and trash-cans come rolling in blasting everypony in sight.
Sapphire Shores and Moondancer both close their eyes as death comes, both thinking about the mysterious stranger that saved them... and how cruel fate was that they didn't have more time with him as the word these creatures yell become deadly clear,
Exterminate.
WITH THE PRINCESSES
Celestia and Luna stare down the Nightmare as lands in front of them. He looks up, spits out leg bone and smiles.
"Well here we are again. You've got noling else to die for you except yourselves,"
"If it stops you than so be it," glares Celestia
"Mayhaps you will die this night Nightmare, you are weakened!" snarls Luna.
"Yeah, you can thank your Pink Psycho for that. We forgot how much injuries suck. But since she's not here anymore..." he pops his shoulder back into place, "you two will have to pay for it..."
He then aims the gigantic weapon at them. The Nightmare grins madly as he says,
"Now royal pains in our flank, it is FINALLY time to end this. And maybe if you live long enough you can tell us about who the guy in the funny clothes was! NOW SAY HELLO TO OUR NOT-SO-LITTLE-FRIEND!!!"
"Say hello to my not-so-little friend!" The Nightmare yells as he aims George at the royal sisters... only for George to sputter a few times and give him an error message. "What? George, why are you not introducing yourself to the Princesses, and then introducing the Princesses to their deaths?! WORK ALREADY!"
"Five second cooldown complete: ready to use." George says in a robotic hum.
"Then if you wouldn't mind... KILL THEM!"
"Systems ready: I'mma firing mah lazer!"
A massive wave of energy surges through the streets towards the Princesses as the Nightmare hoots in destructive glee. Celestia and Luna dive out of the way to either side in what would have been an awesome slo-mo shot if it weren't for the fact that they almost got their royal flanks buttered and toasted.
Luna hears a shout from down the street and sees Cadence protecting Tennent, Derpy and the Doctor from a collapsing wall of rubble.
"Sister, we must take this fight elsewhere!" Luna yells to Celestia as she takes to the air. She fires a stinging blast of magic into the Nightmare's face and begin's taunting him. "What be-ith the matter Nightmare; can't hit a moving target?" she says and shakes her flank at him from the sky.
With an infuriated roar, The nightmare takes aim again at the Princess's swooping form. "Firing main cannon." George states as he shoots another beam which is easily dodged from up in the sky.
George begins another cooldown as the Nightmare is struck from behind with another blast. It whips around to find Celestia standing there with a mocking grin. The nightmare sweeps the ground with its remaining tails, but Celestia takes to the air to join her sister.
The two continue to fire blasts at the Nightmare from above while evading his counterattacks, kiting him towards the castle and away from the Doctor and the others.
"Quickly Luna, we'll bring him to the castle!" Celestia yells, "We'll keep him there as long as we can; bring it down on top of him if we have to!"
"Do you think that will keep him occupied?" Luna asks.
"Get back here you royal pains in our flank!" The Nightmare screams as it fills the sky by flinging chunks of rock, stagecoaches, and whatever else crosses its path.
"Perhaps for a few moments at best, sister. Let's hope it counts..."
As the two sisters begin to fly towards the castle with the Nightmare following them, they don't notice a certain brown brown dog off to the side of the road...
The Brown Dog sits with a full belly, drinking a bottle of Jack Spaniels, and watching the princess flee from the Nightmare. They shoot back at the Nightmare from time to time as they fly, but the Nightmare dodges them and continues to fires George at them when it can.
Precious is sitting next to the BrownDog, chewing on pieces of the Dalek.
“Ah that hit the spot, tasted like bacon flavored chicken. You know Precious, I never really saw myself ending up here,” he says as he takes a swig of the bottle.
“I was just really really bored being underground all the time digging. Did you know I’ve never even been to the Diamond Dog Kingdom Diamondia?” Precious just woofs and continues chewing.
“Yeah, I know, pathetic huh? Well then one day I heard about the Offender and how he crashed the Gala and thought, ‘Hey, that guy’s got the right idea, why shouldn’t I go out and beat up bad guys and cause all sorts of problems?’”
Precious finally tears a strip off and eats it.
“Well it sounded fun at the time. So I told my bosses to shove it and went and joined the Horde. And then I got stuck with a bunch of weirdoes.”
He takes a swig.
“I mean, some of them were alright I guess, that Eris and Minds Eye were funny, even if we disagreed on stuff sometimes. That Grey Rebl guy is all kinds of nuts, but he was fun. Don’t know too much about Rutherford, kind of keeps to himself, but he’s alright. Then there’s Kichi and Solarkness, I mean, I can’t be the only one that knows they’re a changeling and a freaking Timberwolf right?”
Precious just looks up at him.
“Right?”
“Woof,” Precious says before resuming gnawing.
“Yeah, true, but there’s no fooling my nose. But seriously,a freaking Timberwolf?!”
He takes another swig.
“Now Snap Drake, there’s a guy that gets me and my humor, but I don’t know why he holds me on some sort of pedestal, he’s just as funny. I swear I heard him call me sempai once…” he shivers and drinks, “Anyway, then there’s Kersey. Seriously, that Kersey guy was so controlling and nasally, he kept thinking I was after his job for some reason, I don’t know why." He takes another swig. “Okay, maybe I did do some things here and there that made him angry…on purpose. Sure I took his reels of The Bloody Ice Cream trilogy without asking and never gave it back, sure I showed up drunk at his house on Nightmare Night and threw up on his rug, and sure I put mustard in his sheets occasionally while he was sleeping, but I was just messing around having fun. Not to mention the guy was always cleaning out my fridge and taking the last cookies. I didn’t expect the others to follow through with what I said and did. Heck, those guys don’t even know my name. I’m just The Brown Dog to them because I’m a dog and I’m brown, how lazy is that? But oh well…also I sure as heck didn’t expect our group getting promoted to Generals.”
“Woof?” asks Precious.
“Oh yeah, apparently we’re all leaders now. Didn't realize I’d joined a terrorist group till after Fillydelphia was bombed, but I had nowhere else to go so I just stuck with it. It was either that or go back to my crippling loneliness and admit to my strange obsession with Pony Mares while living out the rest of my existence in a dark cramped cave...” Precious just looks at him funny as he takes another swig. “Ahem…anyway, yeah somehow we got put in charge. It kind of goes against my moral code of being as unhelpful and unorganized as possible, but it is what it is.”
An explosion from the castle goes off.
“And now we’re all going to die thanks to our Master and Space Trash Can Squids, who taste surprisingly delicious.”
“I mean, we all thought maybe we stood a chance if we helped him out…but he kind of killed all the big nutjobs in Fillydelphia so I don’t think so. Also, he ate my freaking dinner!” he growls out drunkenly. “And even if he doesn’t kill everyone, those things will, so I guess there’s no point in helping anyone or fighting bad guys right?”
Precious doesn’t answer cause she’s a dog, so The Brown Dog gets up, swaying as he does so.
“Well I’ll tell you this Precious, If I’m gonna die, I’m going out the way I was born, screaming, on fire, and being a nuisance to everyone and everybody in a five block radius.
“Woof?” Precious barks.
“It’s a long story,” he says as he pours what’s left of the booze into a dog bowl and slides it to Precious.
“Well so long Precious, maybe I’ll see you in Valhalla after all this is over. Riding Eternal… Shiny and Chrome…”
The Brown Dog then makes his way up a hill towards the remains of the fireworks factory.
BACK AT THE FIGHT, HALFWAY TOWARDS THE CASTLE
Celestia dodges another one of the cannons beams as Luna tries to attack from behind. But the Nightmare notices this and uses one of his tails to grab her and throw her at her sister. Luna hits Celestia and they both go down. The Nightmare grins and charges at them again. Celestia and Luna dodge the charge an turn around to blast him in the back. It works as the Nightmare growls in pain. It turns around and it is about to fire the cannon. The Princess prepare themselves to dodge again, but the Nightmare just chuckles at this before it says,
"Do you seriously believe you could even HOPE to slow me down if I didn't want you to?", Nightmare asks the princesses, laughing maniacally.
Just as he is about to fire the cannon, a Dalek flies between them, carrying a horde-member on top of it...
One of his nightmare tails swats it away, revealing what is beneath the cape:
A TIMBERWOLF!
The Nightmare looks at the Timberwolf in confusion and forgets about Luna and Celestia time to fly towards the palace once again. The Nightmare continues to stare at the Timberwolf before it yawns and says,
"I feel like having some hotdogs today. You up for it?"
Solar turns towards the Nightmare, and barks,
"YES! PLEASE KILL ME, PLEASE EAT ME!"
The Nightmare stares at the happily yapping Timberwolf (also surprised that a Timberwolf can talk) as it mutters in surprise,
"...what?"
The Nightmare then just shrugs it's shoulders before it says
"Eh, if you want it then there is no reason to."
He grabs Solar with one of his Nightmare-tails and uses Solar to protect himself from one of Celestia's solar rays that she fired behind her. As Solar burns, he laughs mania... how he always laughs.
POV Change: Solarkness, Gates of TARTARUS (dramatic lightningstrike)
"What do you mean I am not allowed to enter?", I ask the Gatekeeper.
"What do you THINK it means? We don't want you here, your punishment is not in here. And no reward for you either."
"Whyyyy?", he whines as he watches the lights coming from it. The other horde-members surely were in there partying...
INSIDE TARTARUS
"Woohoo! Party!"
"We get to live for ever in here and do what ever we want!"
"No rules! No leader! No jobs!"
"JUST FREEDOM!"
BACK WITH SOLAR
"You are not allowed in here."
Solar sighs before he says,
"FINE THEN! I'll just go to pony-heaven..."
Suddenly the scenery changes, and there is completely white pegasus in front of him. The pure white pegasus smiles kindly at the timberwolf before he says,
"You are not wanted here"
Solar falls face first anime style before he gets up and shouts in anger (his head seemingly getting bigger and baring his teeth),
"WHAT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M NOT ALLOWED IN HEAVEN!? WHY IS IT THAT HEAVEN AND TARTARUS DON'T WANT ME? That's horrible!"
"I never said heaven doe-", the pegasus begins but Solar is already walking away.
MEANWHILE IN TIMBERWOLF HEAVEN
"Do you think Solar will join us?"
"He should be coming any second now you'll see!"
BACK WITH THE NIGHTMARE
Celestia and Luna lay just outside the palace. The Nightmare got a lucky shot with it's cannon, hitting Celestia and sending her crashing into Luna. Now the Nightmare stands above Luna with the cannon pointing at her. It smiles before it says,
"Nighty night Princess!"
With that it's about to shoot the cannon when...
"AHEM!"
The Nightmare gets a tick of annoyance as it starts to turn around while saying,
"WHAT IS IT? Can't you see I'm in the middle of frying a lunar princess?"
He sees the Timberwolf from before, and laughs before saying,
"Oh, cannot get enough of solar rays, can you? You should try Solar-powe..."
"Shut up."
Nightmare stops. "Did you just tell me to shut..."
"Shut up!"
"NOLING TELLS..."
"SHUT UP! I DON'T FEAR YOU, YOU BUCKING ASSHOLE! NEITHER TARTARUS NOR HEAVEN WANTS ME, SO YOU CANNOT KILL ME YOU FREAK!"
The Nightmare roars in anger as it turns around and aims the cannon at him before yelling,
"OH, YOU ARE ABOUT TO FIND OUT HOW MUCH I CAN KILL YOU!"
Solar laughs almost as maniacally,
"Yeah, I will! And the answer is: You can't. I am stuck wandering the planet forever, unable to die..."
Nightmare simply smashes Solar with George before it turns around and says ,
"Fool."
Solar re-forms into himself, and giggles before saying,
"Fool? FOOL? YOU are the one turning his back on an enemy. YOU are the one who's been ignoring the princesses all this time. YOU are the one who is a foo-"
Solar is interrupted as one of the Nightmare Tails grabs solar and hurls him over the horizon as the Nightmare mutters,
"Like we said, Fool."
He then sees the princess making a break for the Palace. It growls in anger before it lashes out it's tails at them and yells,
"GET OVER HERE!"
It's tails wrap around them and flings them backwards. It smiles at it's hoofy work and begins to chase after their thrown princess...
Solar's POV
"Welcome to Valhalla! We let everyone partake in our... afterlife...", the Guardian of Valhalla says, before stuttering upon seeing a Timberwolf.
Solar couldn't be happier at that moment, jumps at the Guardian out of happiness: "YOU MEAN I CAN DI.. Where did Valhalla go?"
As he looks around, he sees he is in some sort of movie-theatre. There is a huge stack of movies piled up, with everything needed (INCLUDING JUNK-FOOD, YAY) already set up.
"I guess it can't hurt to watch another movie..."
As the first movie starts, 'Hairy Potato and the Glimmerstone', he believes it to be a parody of something, a Dalek-beam destroys the pile of movies. Solar growls at it in anger before it jumps on the Dalek while shouting in anger,
"DIE DIE DIE DALEK!"
The Dalek simply zaps him, but is shocked when he gets back up and continues his attack. The Dalek zaps it a few more times but he still won't die! This causes the Dalek to shout in surpise,
"IMPOSSIBLE! THIS SPECIMEN SEEMS TO BE UNABLE TO DIE!"
"THAT'S RIGHT BUDDY! KISS MY FLANK BITCH I'M IMMORTAL! NOW GET OVER HERE SO I CANS EAT CHA!"
POV Change: The Nightmare
Celestia and Luna start to breath heavily as they stare down the monster before them. They were so close to the palace, but thanks to the Nightmares tails they were farther then they were before. And now staring them down is the Nightmare with a sinister grins as it takes out a plastic looking brick. It then says evilly,
"Now Princess, allow us to give you a little death present. Trust us when we say that it'll be a explosive surprise. Now we just need a pony to help us give it to you...
Snap Drake glanced nervously around at the destroyed streets. The unicorn ambled through the Canterlot roads, talking to himself. "Oh jeez, what do I do now? Brown Dog's gone! Keresy's gone! God is off fighting the false deities and we're under attack from Daleks- yes I know what those are!" he shouted at the voices in his head. He wasn't possessed- just crazy. "I may not watch the series, but I'm not bucking culture blind. I know my stuff."
"EXTERMINATE!" A Dalek attempted to blast Snap Drake from behind, but the unicorn reflexively leapt over the death ray, pivoted, and sliced clean through the creature with his magical sword. The enemy disposed of, Snap Drake continued his crazed ramblings and aimless wanderings. "I don't know where my squad is, I don't understand what's going on, I have no idea what to do!" He cried. A voice in his head said something. Snap gets a horrified expression as he says,
"What do you mean no one's listening? You guys are!" Another pause as the voice answered. "Well, that's not very mature of you, is it?" Another pause. "Oh, shut up! Besides I know, I was only promoted because I can kill stuff really efficiently! I've come to terms with that." He sighed. "I just need some sort of guidance here."
"EXTERMINATE!" Another Dalek came, this time from in front, but Snap Drake again instinctively dodged the blast. In a flash, he was in front of the Dalek; another blur and the alien was lying in pieces as Snap Drake sheathed his sword. He paused a sec, as he listened to his mind voices compliment him. He froze suddenly. "Hey, voice twenty-two. Repeat that again would you?" Another pause. "I'm a leader, and so I shouldn't wait for guidance but provide it?" He thought about this for a couple seconds. "You know what? You're right. I will do that!" He turned away from the Dalek's corpses and glanced around the burning city. "I'm going to stop being so timid and letting others give commands. I'm going to take the initiative and develop a plan that'll really make Equestria fear the name of the Horde. You know more than they do already. Mwahahahahha!!!" His face adopted a determined look as he scanned the area, searching for ideas.
Suddenly, he caught sight of something that brought an overjoyed smile to his face. "God?" he squealed as he spotted The Nightmare, locked in fierce combat with Celestia and Luna. "Buck responsibility! I'm going to rush blindly to God!" And he did that.
"General Snap Drake, reporting for duty!" Snap Drake cried as he galloped up to The Nightmare.
"Ooh, wonderful," the Nightmare said as he grabbed the unicorn in a Nightmare Tail. He hoofs over the plastic like brick to him before he says,
"We were looking for someling to hold this." As soon as Snap Drake took hold of the explosive, The Nightmare flung him at the princesses.
"You're welcome!" Snap Drake cried, before the princesses and him were consumed in a great, fiery explosion.
The explosion sends the two princess flying away from each other. They both land on the ground in pain. The Nightmare smiles at this as it uses one of it's few tails reaming to drag Luna over to him. When she's right in front of him he smiles evilly before asking,
"Luna why do you side with these guys? Why can't you be on our side?"
"Why should I?" Luna demands.
"Because we are the same kinda of, you and us. We both experience the nightmare and how powerful it is, and let me tell you it feels wonderful. You should embrace it again and join us on the dark side." The Nightmare says as it feels the power of the nightmare flowing through it.
Luna gets a horrified expression as she shouts,
"Never! I was free from the nightmares grasp long ago and I will never go through it again."
"But why? We could burn Equstria together. We both have so much in common after all! We know for a fact that you like video games." The Nightmare replays.
Luna gains a shocked expression as she asks,
"How do you know?"
"Come on! All those video game characters attacking us from before. Who has the power and knowledge to bring those guys here. You do silly!" The Nightmare says.
"Point taken, but I will never accept your demands! I will never become Nightmare Moon again!" Luna shouts at the Nightmare.
The Nightmare sighs in annoyance as it pleads (which sounds like a threat),
"Come on Luna! Join us so we can burn Equestria as the one and true Nightmare!"
"No."
"Please..." The Nightmare says with a forced smile.
"I said NO!" she shouts.
The Nightmare gives a sigh of defeat before smiling curly before saying,
"Oh well we tried. In all honesty, we were never gonna let you live anyway. We just needed to check the whole 'We can rule together' spiel off the villain checklist."
With that the Nightmare throws Luna backwards towards her sister. The Nightmare than pulls up George and is about to fire it, when he sees out of the corner of his eyes a certain band of hero's running towards the ship in the center of town. The Nightmare grins before he says,
"Ooooh, fresh meat! Time to get some answers, why don't you two get acquitted with your palace a little better."
With that it picks up Luna and Celestia and throws them at the Palace. After that he starts to stalk towards You and the others...
As you and your crew runs through the streets, hoping against all odds that the princess could hold off the Nightmare long enough, when a new voice is broadcast from the ships. The Doctor stops cold when he hears it.
“Doctooorrr….” It wheezes. “Where are you hiding?”
Derpy’s shocked eyes straighten as she looks to him.
“Is that…”
“Davros…” the Doctor says clenching his jaw in anger.
Your eyes bug out at that statement, “Oh of course HE’D be here. Just bucking great! What's next, the Master shows up and starts trying to shoot us with his laser screwdriver?”
The others ignore you as Davros taunts,
“Your precious world burns Doctor, why not come and stop me…”
“Oh I’m coming alright Davros, just you wait…” the Doctor snarls.
With that you all begin to double time it towards the ship.
You, Cadance, Derpy and Doctor were almost helfway towards the center space ship, when the Nightmare jumps in front of you.
“You, in the clothes, tell us who you are and we’ll kill you!”
You gulp nervously as you ask,
“Don’t you mean, OR you’ll kill me?”
“We know what we said…ahhh Cadance, you’re here too? And single right? Well so are we, what are the chances?”
“You son of a,” Cadance lets loose a beam of magic like a flash grenade, and when it clears, you and your group are seen running by the Nightmare.
“Sigh…Why do they always run?” the Nightmare asks as he gives chase.
You are cut off by the Nightmare and he is about to rush forth when everyone hears.
“Wooohoooo!!!”
You all look to your right and see a fast moving cart full of fireworks coming down the hill towards you all. All the fireworks are lit, and the Diamond Dog sitting in it is waving two sparklers above his head screaming drunkenly at the top of his lungs. Daleks are in pursuit, but can’t quite hit him.
"EXTERMINATE THE BROWN CANINE!"
The cart hits a makeshift ramp made from destroyed rooftops, and is launched into the air above you all.
“I HAVE DONE NOTHING PRODUCTIVE ALL DAY!!!” yells the Brown Dog happily.
Both you and the Nightmare you voice the same thought,
“The Buck?”
Right before all the fireworks ignite blowing up the cart and the dog and causing such a massive explosion that the buildings around you crumble and collapse from the damage they've taken from the Nightmare's rampage and the Nightmare is sent soaring backwards, all the way towards the palace. Even the nearby Daleks are all buried in debris (if they weren't destroyed in the blast), inconveniencing everyone, as was the plan. Also the shockwave knocks out the power and Kichi isn’t able to play his games anymore, making him mad.
Luckily, you and Cadance were able to shield yourselves and the Doctor and Derpy by quickly casting the Forcefield spell and you take the opportunity to run to the ship while the Nightmare is still soaring away.
Somewhere in Canterlot, in a house, a scream could be listened
"Nooooo!!!!" Shouts Kichi
Kichi looks to the screen now black screen in horror as he asks,
"Why? Just why must this happen?"
"Come on, it's not that bad, right?" Asks the colt.
"Not bad? I was going to finish that dang boss after half a hour of battle, and now I need to try again but it seems we don't have electricity."
"Dang it Lady Luck!" Yells the colt.
"Now, don't say that... She doesn't like that," Says Kichi.
"Wait, you follow Lady Luck?" Asks the colt.
Kichi sighs at the colts nativity as he says,
"I only know that our boss used to curse Lady Luck everyday and his live become a Tartarus, so I will not take any chance."
The colt nods and looks to Kichi.
"So... What can we do?" Asks the colt.
"Well, it seems we don't have electricity, so I think that plan A, stay hidden and wait for our boss to suicide himself can't happen now. I suppose I will need to do my job and search for the others, maybe they have a plan or managed to take something of use." Kichi says.
"So... You are going to search the others because you are bored and because maybe we find someone that have games and electricity" Say the colt
"Who? Me?" Asks Kichi sarcastically.
"What about go to any noble house and wait in there?" Asks the colt.
"Because they are the first target of everypony, and also knowing those nobles of canterlot, if they did not take everything, what left is under too many security" Says Kichi.
"Soo... How are we going to walk around Canterlot without those Tin Cans killing us?" Asks the colt.
"That's a good questions... Damn tin cans" Groans Kichi.
"What if we use mirror to reflect their beams?" Asks the colt.
"Do you want to test that, knowing that if you fail you could be vaporized?" Asks Kichi.
"Errr... Maybe we can find a deck of cards or play tic-tac-toe" Says the colt.
Kichi sighs in sadenss before he says,
"I suppose we can, but if we don't find any were finding a pony sized hamster wheel and your gonna be the hamster. If the power won't come to us we'll make the power!"
Kichi's strikes a hero pose as light shines behind him, while the clot can only sigh before facehoffing.
AT THE PALACE
Celestia and Luna start to breath heavily again as Luna says,
"Are you okay Sister?"
Celestia nods her head as she says,
"Yes, I'm fine. But the Nightmare managed to reach the Doctor. We failed."
Luna hangs her head in shame of this, but soon her ears move around as if hearing something. Luna looks up in confusion as she asks,
"Sister...do you hear that?"
Celestia perks her ears, and soon she nods her head before she says,
"Yes I do sister. It sounds like...shouting?"
Soon both Luna and Celestia focus their ears to the sound, and soon they hear...
"UUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK!"
Soon the shouting ends as something crashes through the roof of the castle. Celestia and Luna jump back as the Nightmare burst out of the smoke caused by his crash. The Nightmare doesn't appear to notice them as it starts to rant,
"We can't believe it! We were this close to killing those ponies and finding out who that strange dude was! But then that stupid feline had to get in our way! We swear if he weren't already a smear on the ground we would ha-
The Nightmares rant is interrupted when it get's blasted by both Celestia and Luna. The Nightmare is sent flying into a wall, causing a few pillars to fall down, one of which lands on Celestia. Celestia cries out in pain, but before Luna could do anything the Nightmare grabs her from under the pillar and throws her into her sister. Luna tries to catch her but she misses as they are both sent tumbling to the ground. The Nightmare chuckles at this as it uses two of it's tails to lift the princess up. He chuckles at their expressions of pain before crushes Luna slightly. A few bones can be heard cracking as she lets out a cry of pain. Celestia struggles to break free from the nightmare tail holding her as she calls out,
"LUNA!!"
The Nightmare chuckles before he says,
"Oh Don't worry Celly, she's fine. We just crushed her a little bit. We still want to play around with her, so we can't break her yet. You on the other hoof..."
With that he tosses Luna away as if she were a doll. Luna smashes into another wall, cracking it and causing her to shout out in pain. Luna falls to the ground in pain and can only lay there, too damaged to get back up.
Celestia has tears in her eyes as she yells,
"YOU MONSTER! I'LL MAKE YOU PAY FOR THAT!"
With that said she starts to fire her magic into the Nightmares face, but it's not too strong so the Nightmare just shrugs it off. With a squeeze Celestia stops and cries out in pain. The Nightmare smiles at this as he asks,
"Now that your not shooting us, why don't you tell us who that pony was and we might give you the pleasure of not watching us kill your sister."
Celestia struggles under the tails pressure as she says,
"Enough of this Celestia, your sister is dying, and hope is lost! But We shall make you a deal, tell us who that stranger with you was, and we'll let you live slightly longer."
Celestia is horrified as he speaks, but she decides to turn down the the deal the Nightmare makes.
"No."
"What?"
"No, Nightmare. I will never tell you who that stranger was... because I don't know him!" She says making a troll face.
"We should have expected you to do so. We know, how about we ask your soon-to-be-dead sister! Oh Luna!" The Nightmare explains as he throws Celestia away like a rag doll. He then turns towards Luna, who was struggling to get back up. When the Nightmare reaches her he asks her,
"Luna, tell us who the stranger was!"
"You... You fool. I will n-n-never tell you about the stranger you speak of."
The Nightmare just shrugs and says, "So be it." And with that he grabs Luna and throws her with such force that she smashes into the wall next to her sister. Celestia rushes over to Luna's pained form as the Nightmare stalks towards them. He let's out a insane chuckle as he gets closer to them, ready to finish them off. Luna can't help but sigh sadly before she says,
"Sister... We can't continue this, soon or later this monster is going to destroy us, we don't have the elements and we can't stall him eternally."
"Luna, no! There must be another way, please. I lose you for a thousand years, please, we can think another think, we can still try to use the elements, I'm sure that we can still find bearers for the elements" Says Celestia.
"Nay, Sister... Just remember that I loved you... If I'm reincarnated, I just wish that we end again as sisters... Thank you" Says Luna in a sad tone as her horn begins to glow.
Meanwhile the Nightmare was looking at is as if it was nothing when suddenly, the glow of Luna's horn begin to increase and his body and Luna begin to glow! The Nightmare growls at this as he asks,
"Stupid Luna, what are you planing?"
The glow increase until suddenly the Nightmare cannot see, when his vision is cleared, he can see that they are not in Canterlot. The Nightmare begins to look around at all the stars and grey surface as he asks,
"Luna, where are we? What did you do?"
"Welcome Nightmare... to the Moon!" Say Luna
The Nightmare looks around and then to the sky, looking to the planet to see it covered with those spaceships from before, and even more of those Dalek things flying towards the surface.
"Do you think you can seal us here forever? Like what happened with you?" Ask the Nightmare.
"No... My plan is not that... I give you one last chance to surrender!" Say Luna as her horn begin to glow.
"Or what? We kill you and then leave? Even a fall from space won't kill us" Asks the Nightmare.
Luna sighs sadly and the Nightmares words before she says,
"Or... We die in the sun... Not even you can survive in there. And without me you cannot leave the moon. Please, not for me but for your daughter."
"What the buck are you talking about? Nightshade's the one asking us to do all this and our baby princesses gets whatever she wants." the Nightmare says holding up the Luna Plushie.
"No, I'm talking about your real daughter, not that doll. Awaken and see the reality. Do you really think she wants you to die? She wouldn't have wanted that, she would have wanted for you to live on the planet in peace."
The Nightmare looks at Luna in confusion and is about to respond when suddenly his head starts to twitch violently causing him to drop the Luna Plushie. When the twitching stops, his reaming tails begin to pale as the darkness around him dissolve a little, but the Nightmare glares at Luna as he yells in a less distorted, more chillingly sane voice,
"What the buck would you know? If it wasn't for you we wouldn't be here! We were chased since that stupid wedding after a whole hatchlinghood of being bullied because we weren't a perfect changeling... And then, when we were thinking we could live in peace, us and our daughter, your stupid ponies appear and she gets taken from us! You could have left us alone, but no! Every time you all appear our life gets ruined again and again!"
"And you think this is what she wanted? Her father transformed in a monster? Killing other foals, making terror and killing families just because he could not accept her death? That she could be happy? Just look at yourself! You're not her father anymore! You've just become a monster, where is her father? Think she could be happy if she could see that? OPEN YOUR EYES AND SEE THE TRUTH!" Shout Luna in the Canterlot Royal Voice
"NEVER!!!" Shouts the Nightmare as he starts to go back to "normal" (and puts the Luna Plushie away) and smashes his tails into the Moon, causing cracks to form.
The Nightmare begins to hit the moon with his tails, causing cracks to form.
"Then I don't have a choice... I'm sorry Offender..." Say Luna
After that, she looks towards Dalek ship riddled planet and Equestria as she mutters in a small voice.
"And I'm sorry to you too, sister."
With that said Luna uses her magic to take a huge chunk of the moon that their on off of it and fling it towards the sun. As the sun was becoming more and more big as the planet seemed to go more and more distant, when suddenly a quake begins to shake the moon chunk.
"No... It's impossible..." Mutter Luna surprised as she could not believe what happened
"YES... YES...YEEEES!!" Shout the Nightmare shouts in pure insanity.
The quake begins to increase, until a crack appear in front of Luna and the Nightmare, a crack that begin to increase in size until it become a abyss and continue increasing
"No... Please... No..." Mutter Luna as her eyes begin to cry
But it did not matter, more and more cracks begin to appear around them, and the chunk that their on splits into pieces. And on one of the pieces, the Nightmare smiles victoriously as he begins to launch himself towards Equestria at great speed.
Luna shakes herself out of it and suddenly begins to follow the Nightmare to Equestria in another of the rocks as she use uses her magic to restore the orbit of some of the pieces. But mos of that chunk (which was a quarter of the moon) still fly into the sun.
MEANWHILE BACK AT THE PALACE
Celestia was looking to the now one less quarter moon, full of sorrow. Not only one, but two times she lose her sister, and the worst is that this time it was not a thousand years, but forever. Full of sorrow she looked to the sky.
"Why? Why you did this Faust? It was not enough to take my sister from me for a thousand years? Now that she was back with me, you take her again! After everything that happened? Why! Just tell me!" Shout with sadness Celestia to the sky but there is no answer.
"Of course... There is no answer..." Comment with a bit of anger Celestia
Just as she was going to get ready to tell the survivors about what happened and how the Nightmare was finished, she managed to see the quarter of the moon get destroyed.
"No... How is that possible?" Asks Celestia surprised.
Just then, as she could see what seems to be the remains of the moon in the sky, and how many of them begin to fall, she could see two of the chunk of the moon begin to fall at more speed that the others.
"Sister..." Celestia mutters as she flies as fast as she can towards the flying moon pieces.
POV Change: Bugze (You)
You look up at the moon and notice that a chunk of it is missing. Getting worried you ask the Doctor,
"Uh Doc, should we worry about how a quarter of the moon is gone?"
The Doctor doesn't even bother to look as he says,
"Later Tennant, right now we need to focus on Davros!"
"Uh, don't you mean the coupling?"
The Doctor looks at you in confusion before he says,
"Oh right, yes that. I meant we need to focus on the coupling! Now come on!"
You and Derpy share a look before you both continue to follow the Doctor down an alley with Cadence close behind...
When the four of you (you, Doctor, Derpy, and Cadance) run down the street, you all run into the TARDIS. When you ask how did it get here, the Doctor theorizes the magical disturbances from the Nightmare's rampage must be messing with the TARDIS somehow, but then he gets a "Eureka" moment and the Doctor says he may be able to patch up the TARDIS enough to fly her into the Dalek mothership (which is in orbit), but he NEEDS time to do his work. Cue you and Cadance fighting off squads of Daleks.
When the Doctor slams into a large blue object causing Derpy, you, and Cadance to all slam into him like a comedic conga line. The Doctor shakes his head clear when he notices the object in front of him and exclaims,
"Old Girl?!"
"What the buck is the TARDIS doing here?!" you ask, "I thought it was still in the palace!"
"I don't know, but if I had to hypothesize I guess, I would say that the magical disruption fluxes from y- I mean the Nightmare killing creatures such as Sombra, Tirek, and Discord is messing with the TARDIS's systems causing her to come to us, but why..."
*ding*
"Fantastic!"
"What?",you, Derpy, and Cadance ask,
"The power coupling we need must be in the Dalek mothership! The 'flying saucers' around Canterlot right now wouldn't have that part as they wouldn't have any need for it so it would be on the mothership which Davros will undoubtedly have placed high in orbit. Staying in the back like most modern leaders."
"But how are you going to get up there? Not even an alicorn can just fly into space and you said the TARDIS was still broken." Cadance asks,
"Theoretically, Derpy and I could patch up the Old Girl so she could make a quick jump onto Davros's ship."
Suddenly there is the sound of an explosion and screams nearby as you all hear the all-too familiar chants of "Exterminate! Exterminate!" approaching.
"If only we had time..." the Doctor muses.
"We'll hold them off Doctor. Just get the TARDIS working!" Cadance says.
The Doctor and Derpy nod affirmatively as they run into the TARDIS. Cadance takes flight near the TARDIS and charges her horn while you take out your Power Glove and Boomstick, walk to the entrance of the alleyway, and say,
"Well..."
You crack your neck (some action movie tropes just NEED to be done) before continuing,
Celestia makes it t the moon pieces just as they crash into the earth. She puts her wings in front of her to protect her eyes from the dust, but when it stops he looks around and finds her sister in the smaller crater. Sighing in relief she flies over to her sister to check over her. But before she could do anything...
Luna struggles to get up, but when she does she grunts and says,
"Yes sister, we can!"
Celestia nods her head as she says,
"Good..."
She looks over to the enraged Nightmare as she continues,
"Because we are going to need all the fight we can call upon."
"Agreed, but first how about a change of scenery?" Luna adds.
Celestia gives her a nod and both alicorns charge up a spell as the Nightmare charges at them and all three of them disappear in a flash of light...
AT THE PALACE
As another flash of light causes the three to appear in the throne room, Celestia and Luna dive out of the way as the Nightmare smashes into a pillar that causes a chunk of the ceiling to collapse on his head. After shaking his head, he notices where he's at and comments,
"The throne room... A fitting place for the final chapter in the legacy of the false goddesses..."
He turns around and sees Celestia and Luna drinking a pair of red flasks. The Nightmare merely smirks as he says,
"Taking a drink break, huh? GREAT IDEA!"
With that he uses his 7 remaining Nightmare Tails to reach into the Inventory and grab 7 different beverages and as he's about to drink them when he's interrupted by being blasted with enough force to send him smashing through the doors to the Throne Room.
"OI! I THOUGHT WE WERE IN TIME OUT!! GRAH! ANY LAST WORDS YOU MOTHERBUCKING CHEATERS!!!"
Celestia and Luna just stand there defiantly, their horns glowing, but now both of them are fully healed without a scratch and they are both now wearing armor,
"So be it..."
WHAT DOES CELESTIA AND LUNA DO!?
Episode 84: The Sun Goes Out as the Moon Falls (Season Finale Part 11)
As the Princesses battle him, it’s clear that they are too weakened, but they carry on. Together they are able to break one of his tusks off, to which he screams in pain. "Why the bucking tooth?! Now we look like some snaggletoothed freak!" "We did the same to Discord you monster, but we shant stop there!" screams Luna as she charges with a spear.
With their battle armor gleaming, Celestia and Luna charge at the Nightmare, but the Nightmare just smiles insanely as he uses his tails to block both their charges. Eventually he pushes them back with his tails with enough force to disorient them a bit before blasting a ball of darkness at them. They manage to dive out of the way, but the explosion still slams them against the walls. The Nightmare grins at this as he says,
"You see! Even all healed up, you're still no match for us just like back at Ponyville! Why don't you just give up and accept your fates with dignity?!"
The Princess just glare at him silently before they charge at him again. Luna leads the charge, but is quickly knocked to the side by one of the Nightmare's tails. Celestia growls at this and starts to shoot a spells at the monster in hopes of damaging it, but the Nightmare simply chuckles as it uses it's remaining tails as a shield. While he does wince from each blow slightly, Celestia's assault doesn't appear to be hurting him much. The Nightmare chuckles again as he says,
"Give up Celestia! Your little spells can't even scratch us!"
To this Celestia... smiles? The Nightmare gains a confused look as Celestia says,
"You're wrong Nightmare, these spells do hold a purpose..."
The Nightmare quirks a eyebrow as he asks,
"Oh yeah? What?"
The Celestia's smirk gets even bigger as she declares,
"They make for the perfect distraction! LUNA, NOW!"
The Nightmare's eyes widen in surprise at Celestia's declaration as he quickly turns around to where it knocked Luna away...
Only to come face-first with a spear head just inches from his face.
"OH BUCK!" The Nightmare exclaims as he quickly moves his head to dodge the blow, but it cannot fully escape the spear as it severs off one of its tusks! The Nightmare cries out in pain as he grabs what's left of his tuck as he whines,
"Why the bucking tooth?! Now we look like some snaggletoothed freak!"
Luna (who had returned to her sister's side) merely glares as she says,
"We did the same to Discord you monster, but we shant stop there!"
The Nightmare stops holding it's mouth in pain as it glares at the princess with complete rage. It soon growls before it lets out a...
Grey Rebl's Comment
Roar that releases a quick wave of darkness from it's mouth. The two sisters waste no time flying to either side and avoid it as they charge at the Nightmare with horns aglow. The two summon spears of light and dark (each of which belonging to them in their matching respective colors) whose rods hum with power.
Celestia flies forward as she swishes her light blade to literally slice through the darkness making a path for the Princesses to charge through. When they get close, the Nightmare raises a tail and aims it at Celestia only for the sisters to switch as Luna uses her Dark Blade to parry the tail-strikes before bringing out a forcefield to block an onslaught of tail strikes.
As the Nightmare focuses on Luna, Celestia takes advantage of the divide in attention and dives in to deliver a holy blade slice straight across the Nightmare's barrel and flaps away from a retaliating fiery-black clawed hoof only to get stabbed by Luna.
The sisters continue this strategy of "parry, distract, and attack", but the Nightmare lets out a roar of frustration as he flails all his tails out and wildly spins them like a hurricane of darkness. Luna manages to fly above the dark whirlwind just in time, but Celestia is knocked back as she was flying in for another attack.
As the Nightmare slowly advances on Celestia, Luna prepares an attack from above. A night blue ball of magic forms above her horn, increasing in size with every passing moment. With a flick of her head downwards, she flings the ball at the Nightmare and it ignites in a bright explosion of star-like glitter and light as Luna feeds more magic into the eruption to keep the explosion going, using the roars of pain from her target as encouragement.
Celestia quickly gets back into action, building up her magic as well. After her horn begins to thrum with energy, she shoots out a thick ray of sunlight across the floor and towards her target, incinerating everything in its path! When it makes contact with Luna's magic, it becomes a light show of blue and yellow fighting for coherence.
Finally, the magic could not take any longer and explodes in a brilliant shower of light and darkness that rocks Canterlot and leaves nothing left but the dust and debris from the resulting explosion and the Nightmare's screams.
"UUUUUURGHH--Just kidding!"
Luna's eyes widen. "He's toying with us!"
"No duh." the Nightmare says as a blur comes out of the top of smoke. The Nightmare's jump ends in midair as its 7 non-destroyed tails lazily follow it up into the air. The two sisters makes to take flight to meet it...
"FUS RO DAH!"
Only to get knocked back down by Nightmare's attack. Fortunately, they land on their hooves and quickly recover to instead shoot a flurry of magical beams at gatling-like speeds which keep the Nightmare juggled in the air, but the Nightmare wraps all his tails around him in a cocoon of fiery dark magic as he proclaims,
"Nightmare Nova Shockwave!"
Before spin-slamming into the floor, causing a thrum of power to echo across the entire throne room as tsunami-like waves of darkness burst outward, forcibly splashing all the way up to the wall. It pours out of broken windows! It tears through the walls! It bursts out and through the roof!
When it calms, the end result is a roofless and wallless throne room with parts of the floor missing. The Nightmare sees that the sisters have cast dual-barriers around themselves and are relatively okay, but the sisters are clearly a little bit shaken by the Nightmare's almost casual use of such power.
"Give up?" the Nightmare smirks.
The sister shouts in unison, "Never!" and then charges back in.
"That's the spirit!" the Nightmare cheers as he charges too, but before they could meet head on, they are interrupted when...
Pentakill Apocalypse's Comment
Two unicorns wearing Horde Cultist cloaks come waltzing in. In their magical grasp are two buckets of popcorn and two large sodas. The one on the left (not noticing that the fight has stopped) starts to talk to his comrade,
"I can't believe that those idiots ran and hid when those tin-cans showed up! I mean, sure they're killing us and all, but that doesn't mean we can't watch our god kill the princess! I mean how lucky are we to find them fighting and to actually keep track of where they were going yet still had time to raid the theater for some popcorn and drinks. I mean I swear this fight is even better than Star Wars and Marevengers combined!"
His companion doesn't look so sure about it as she shakes some salt into her popcorn and says,
"I don't know... I liked the original saga better anyway."
The Nightmare (forgetting about the fight he was just in) ignores the confused princesses, walks over to them and says,
"Yeah, the original was and is FAR better than the new movies!"
The Horde Cultist on the left (not noticing that he's talking to the Nightmare) shakes his head as he says,
"I have to disagree, the animations and graphics were a huge improvement to the originals!"
The Nightmare proceeds to stare at the Horde member for a good few seconds before he whips out "George" and zaps tha stallion's head off as two of his Nightmare Tails catches the stallion's popcorn bucket and soda cup. He then proceeds to shove the business end of George against the other Horde member's face as he roars in the Royal Canterlot Voice,
"SAY JAR JAR BINKS IS AN ABOMINATION! SAY IT!"
The poor horde member shakes her head furiously as she shouts out,
The Nightmare smiles at this and puts George (the cannon) down before he takes out another plastic looking brick. He nonchalantly toss it over to the Horde member as he says,
"Here, hold this for a second."
The Horde member shakes her head as she takes the plastic brick while saying,
"S-sure my lord."
The Nightmare smiles again before he grabs her with one of his tails and flings her at the still confused princess while saying,
"Thank you, now go Michael Beigh on them!"
The princess shake out of their stutter and dodge the pony, but the plastic brick she's holding goes off and knocks them off their feet. As the princesses reorient themselves, the Nightmare pours the popcorn bucket and soda cup into his mouth before saying,
"So... Where were we?"
MEANWHILE WITH YOU
"Would you kindly BURN!"
As your Power Glove incinerates another Dalek from the inside, you can't help but feel like this battle is becoming tedious. No matter how many Daleks you and Cadance keep repelling from the TARDIS, more just show up!
"Now I know how the Marevengers felt in Marevengers: Age of Ultron." you snark.
"Okay Tennant, here's the plan." Cadance says as she charges her horn, "I'm going to charge up a shield spell that'll hold off these Daleks long enough for us to catch out breathes. But it's going to take awhile to ready it so I need you to distract them-"
You interrupt Cadence however as you say,
"No problem Cade-"
But before you can finish she says,
"For five minutes."
You look at her in surprise as you say,
"Eh?"
She ignores you however as she says,
"But considering they tired us out in under one...Ah, I'm sure you'll be fine."
You just stare at her for a good couple of seconds before you gulp and say,
"Well... If you say so..."
With that Cadence begins to charge up her shield, while you go on to distract them...
"You... Shall not... Pa-*zap* OI! No fair attacking during my references!"
"AH! HOT LASER! HOT LASER! HOT LASER!"
"Would you kindly BUZZ OFF!" *Bzzzz zap* "Oh right... Personal protective force-fields..."
"PLEASE DON'T SUCK MY FACE OFF! I LIKE MY FACE ON MY... Well, face!!"
After smashing some more Daleks, you hear Cadance yell,
"TENNANT, GET BACK NOW!"
Heeding Cadence's advice, you jump over to her as she puts the shield up. As Daleks begin to shoot the shield with no effect, you start to catch your breathe as you shout at the TARDIS,
"Hey Doc! *pant* How much *pant* longer till *pant* we're ready!"
You just hear the Doctor sigh as he says,
"A few more minutes at most. Five tops! Maybe..."
You wince when he says five minutes as you think,
Please let this shield stay up for five minutes!
*crack*
"The shield is starting to break!"
"Buck you lady luck." you mutter as you prepare to slam down your Boomstick again...
BACK TO THE CASTLE
We now see that the battle isn't going too good for the Princesses as they are now fighting in the ballroom ("Oooo...we remember this hall! Good tim-*ZAP*") as the Nightmare is...
He sings as he punches Celestia in the chest and through a wall. Luna charges in from behind with horn spitting offensive spells, only for the Nightmare to buck her in the chest as he continues,
He then swings the two Daleks into Celestia like a baseball bat, sending her flying across the room and smashing into a cracked pillar. The force of her crash was enough to break the pillar as it falls on top of her and the back of her body is trapped underneath the rubble. Celestia cries out in pain from the force, and she struggles to free herself.
"FORE!!!"
Luna sees her sister trapped and rushes over to her, only for the Nightmare to smash the two Daleks on her, shattering them and disorienting Luna before the Nightmare runs in and Shoryukens her into the ceiling with enough force to shatter her breastplate armor. The Nightmare smiles at the trapped Celestia as it begins to stalk towards her. As it begins to get closer to her struggling form, she can't help but ask it weakly,
"Why..."
The Nightmare stops it's stalking as it looks at her in confusion and asks,
"What was that?"
"Why... Why do you have to bring so much death and pain on my little ponies... They haven't done anything to you..."
"Well... Because it's fun obviously! That and our baby never liked this place anyway, right Nightshade?"
The Nightmare starts to retrieve the Luna Plushie, but suddenly the Nightmare's head begins to twitch and spasm violently for a few moments. When it stops, he speaks in a different distorted voice, but one that feels more chillingly sane,
"Empathy..."
"What?" Celestia says in anger and shock,
"Empathy! We had friends! A home! A family... But you just couldn't leave it alone! You had a first-hoof look at what we could do back at the Gala, we were living our lives not causing any trouble but still YOU JUST WOULDN'T LEAVE US ALONE!!!"
He stomps a furious hoof down as he continues,
"It's because of you and your sister we lost EVERYTHING! You know how that feels? No! You just sit on your throne eating your cakes as you order your 'children' to continue playing with fire as usual. So we decided to dedicate ourselves to returning that feeling a THOUSAND-FOLD!!! So tell me, mother-goddess of Equestria, how does it feel? How does it feel knowing that all your 'children' died in terror because of YOUR mistakes?"
Suddenly the Nightmare's head spasms ahead and his voice goes back to "normal",
"Woah... THAT was weird... But we were on a pretty good roll so we might as well finish whatever that other guy was saying."
With that he clears his throat before continuing,
"Especially that one unicorn... What was her name again? You know... Purple, bookwormish, had her own horn stabbed through her throa-"
With a roar of rage, Celestia engulfs herself in flames that explodes the pillar off her and she rams into the monster with enough force to knock him through several walls through the armory and into the streets of Canterlot.
The Nightmare gets up only to be greeted by dozens of spears raining down on him and impaling him to the ground through several parts of his body.
Celestia then flies up and calls down a concentrated beam of sunlight that incinerates a pair of flying saucers unlucky enough to be in the way before it stops near her horn and charges up into a giant solar-sphere. As the Nightmare struggles to get out from the spears, the sphere gets larger and larger until...
"SISTER! NOW!"
On cue, the princess of the night flies in and blasts the Nightmare high into the air before Celestia hurls the solar-sphere at him with all her might. The sphere collides with the Nightmare in a brilliant flash of light that temporarily turns night into day and erupts into a massive fireball that engulfs and destroys most of the flying saucers in Canterlot's airspace.
The sisters begin to breath heavily as Celestia descends and falls to her knees. Luna goes over to her as she says,
"I...*huff* don't think I could summon such power again sister."
Celestia nods her head weakly before she says,
"Me too sister. That was the last of my energy. With any hope that was enough to end that creature once and for all."
Luna smiles weakly at this and is about to say something when a voice calls out,
"Ahhhh, that's sweet. You actually thought your little light show was enough to kill us?"
Both Celestia and Luna freeze in horror as the smoke disappears to reveal the Nightmare standing and alive. It looks like it's taken a beating and yet another one of it's tails are gone, but it's still breathing, albeit raggedly. And it's smiling...
Luna, finally having enough of this creature, has tears in her eyes as she shouts in rage,
"Why are you still alive! We used up the last of our energy to kill you! You should be dead! Does this mean everything we did to stop you was for nothing! All those innocent ponies we were forced to use as bait! All those soldiers whose lives died by your hoof!"
Luna starts to break down as she looks at the ground, tears streaming down her face as she continues,
"The colts and fillies whose nightmares about you we've seen end with their deaths. All those homes and cities that now burn or rot because of you. The families who will never see their mothers or sisters or husbands or wives again because you took them away! All the pain and misery you've caused that's replaced the love and happiness this land once held. You're the villain and we're the heroes! We're supposed to win, we're supposed to live, and you're supposed to die and just END! So why, why, why , why...."
Luna stops suddenly before she stares at the creature who has finally caused her to break in pure hatred and yells in the RCV,
"WHY WON'T YOU JUST BUCKING DIE! WHY WON'T YOU JUST DISAPPEAR LIKE THE NIGHTMARE YOU ARE SO WE CAN ALL WAKE UP!!!"
...
Silence...
That is all that's left after Luna's sorrowful shout. The Nightmare just staring at her with no emotion. The grief and hatred could be felt in the air as the princesses stare the monster down. Nothing is said or heard, until...
The Nightmare laughs and laughs until it can laugh no more. The Princess stare at the beast in horror until the laughter dies and when it does the beast merely stares at them as it says,
"You wanna know why we can't die? Why no matter how much you try, what you throw at us, and whatever you do we still live? Well... we'll tell you!"
And with that the Nightmare begins to walk over to the two weakened sisters as it says,
With that said, the Nightmare takes out it's cannon and aims it at them point blank, ready to finish them off. However just before it pushes the trigger...
BrownDog's Comment
Celestia manages to push Luna out of the way of the blast with the last of her strength, but the blast sends her smashing through several walls of the castle. She watches, barely conscious, as the Nightmare pounces on her.
Using all of his remaining tails, the Nightmare picks her up and impales her hooves and wings above the throne with it's tails. Celestia cries out in pain as she feels her life leaving her. She can only look at the Nightmare weakly before growling out,
"I hope the darkness of Tartarus swallows you whole..."
She then spits blood onto the Nightmares face. The Nightmare only wipes the blood off with it's hooves as it reaches into his Inventory and pulls out his Boom Stick and calmly says,
The Nightmare only stares at what just happened in confusion before it hears a cry of,
"SISTER! NOOOO!"
The Nightmare smirks at the cry as it turns towards Luna. She is in the throne room, but now she is frozen in fear and hatred. The Nightmare just smiles at this as it begins to walk over to her while taunting her,
“You know, all of this is your fault.”
Luna merely continues to stare at her now-deceased sister. The Nightmare merely shakes it's head at this as it continues,
“We remember a part of us being a part of you. Without your jealousy and anger, we never would have been born. So thank you, it’s been a real blast… Mother,”
It then reaches over to Luna who snaps out of it and charges a spell only for the Nightmare to wrap all of its remaining tails around her throat and suspends her in the air, hanging her.
"Ah, poetic isn't it? You wanted to hang Nightshade, and now here we are hanging you..."
"That's right you stupid ugly b!%$#, choke on the irony!" shouts "Nightshade"
Tears start to stream down Luna's face, but then she gets a look of determination as she chokes out,
"I'm....*cough* glad she's dead!" Luna gasps out causing the Nightmare to stop smiling and growl,
"What..."
"I'm glad she didn't live long enough to see the monster her father became... To know that he was the one who killed her..."
At this, the Nightmare becomes enraged and snaps Luna's neck as he roars,
"YOU'RE LYING!!! OUR DAUGHTER IS ALIVE AND WELL!!!"
As the light fades from Luna's eyes, she stares down the Nightmare, judgement still in her dead eyes. The Nightmare drops her to the floor and then takes the Luna Plushie out of the Inventory,
"It's okay baby. Daddy took care of her. You're not dead... You're not!" it says unstably as it pets the doll.
"I know Daddy, she was a liar till the end. You'd never let me get hurt, never!"
"Th-that's right baby... Daddy would never let you go... Daddy Loves You..." it says as it continues rocking back and forth petting the doll.
"I love you too, but you have to keep going daddy...there's still others out there who want to hurt me."
The Nightmare stops rocking and looks up.
"That's right... Auntie Cadance and her friends. Thanks for reminding us baby," it says as it kisses the doll on the head before putting her back in the saddlebags.
"No mercy Daddy. No Mercy.." "Nightshade" says from within the bag but suddenly the Nightmare starts coughing up a fit and coughs out some midnight-colored blood. Ignoring this, the Nightmare smiles once more, but then notices Luna's body and mutters,
"B!%$#..."
Suddenly, just as her sister's did, another beam of light shoots out of her body and towards the sky. This one a midnight blue color, and it's emitting another emotion that the Nightmare can't grasp. Soon the light ends as Luna's body lays still once again. The Nightmare merely shrugs it's shoulders at this as it says,
“Right then, where’s the weirdo in the clothes?”
With that the Nightmare turns around and starts to hunt down it's prey. But before it can even move the castle suddenly begins to...
The battle between the Princesses (not gods) and the nightmare heats up as both sides throw pillars and chunks of masonry at each other. The roof falls in at some point, when they've ripped up too much of the building's support for it to remain up, and at the end of it all, the castle falls off the mountain and breaks apart on the ground below.
Shake like crazy. The Nightmare quickly jumps out of the castle and onto the ground below just in time as the Castle begins to cave in on itself. Eventually the whole castle begins to fall off the mountain it once resided on.
The Castle of Canterlot, a pillar of hope to all ponies in dark times. The symbol of harmony and peace in Equestria. A landmark that showers all with a feeling of happiness when they see it...
Now falls into the darkness of the mountain below. The Castle has fallen, and to those watching it from afar or in the city, know now only one thing...
The Nightmare has won, all hope is lost.
POV Change: Bugze (You)
You were starting to lose hope on the princesses winning when you saw that really bright light shoot out of the castle and into the sky and Cadence started crying. You lost even more hope when that midnight blue one shot into the sky and Cadence start to cry even more.
But you'd have to say you lost all of your hope when you saw the bucking castle fall into the abyss.
...
Buck you lady luck.
After a minute of calming down, and another three getting Cadence to stop crying, you remembered something that can really help you defend the TARDIS. And that is...
BrownDog77's Comment
That a tool your plasmids/vigors can do that you haven't really utilized. Traps.
You place Shock Jockey traps all around you and the TARDIS in a web, while also leaving Bucking Bronco and Ice Traps around.
When the Daleks fly into them, they are either outright destroyed, or are inconvenienced to where you can finish them off with the Boom Stick or even a few falcon punches.
Cadance gets surrounded by four and blasted all at once, and she falls down in pain, but you leap in the middle of them and send a shock wave out, tossing the Daleks into your traps.
"Cadance, are you Okay?" you say lifting her up.
Cadence, with blood shot eyes from all her crying, coughs then says,
"I've had worse. Look out!" she pushes you out of the way of a Dalek laser and blows it up by encasing it in crystal.
Unfortunately she pushed you into a bucking bronco trap and you are suspended in the air for a few moments trying to shoot Daleks with your power glove.
After you get down, you get an awesome idea. You break a fire hydrant and tell Cadance to crystallize the water. She does so, so you lift the chunk up in your Telekinesis and smash a group of Daleks with it.
After having stopped Daleks for some time, you get hit by a beam of dark magic and slam into several houses, away from the TARDIS.
“Bugze!” shout Derpy and the Doctor
“Wait, Bugze?” Cadance asks in surprise. The Doctor and Derpy realize what they said and look at her guiltily.
"No... it couldn't be..." Cadance mumbles as she flies after you.
With You
Bugze Get Up! Now! Selena starts yelling to your dizzy form.
“Ow…what hit me?’ you groggily ask.
Get up! The Nightmare is coming! She screams.
“Wrong!” cries a voice behind you.
You turn around and look into your other you’s face. Wish is now sporting a bleeding eye and one less tusk. You would have laughed at this if you weren't so afraid of dying right now. The Nightmare leers right into your face before it says,
“The Nightmare Is Here…The Question Is, who in the Buck are you?”
You gulp in pure fear as you think,
I swear if I survive this I am going to hold Lady Luck’s face down in a pool of water until the bubbles stop…
Focus! Worry about that Whorse later! Selena screams.
You do as she says, but you don’t know what to do. If this is anything like Time Guard, if you even touch him you’ll end up as some gelatinous blob.
“The Princesses wouldn’t tell us who you are, so you must be special. So, WHO ARE YOU?” it growls.
You clench your teeth, pick up your Boom Stick and throw it at him.
“There, that should hurt him and I didn’t tou…” you start before witnessing the Nightmare twirling the Boom Stick around.
“Hey, this looks just like ours. What are you, some kind of poser?” it asks before launching the Boom Stick back at you. It strikes you dead center, knocking the wind out of you and launching you into a brick wall. You gasp for breath, but it’s hard.
Cadance bursts in and shoots a beam at the Nightmare.
“Get away from him!” she shouts.
The Nightmare grunts, before turning around, grabbing her with his tails and slamming her into the same wall as you. She crawls over to you and holds your head up, helping you breathe better.
“Oh Cadance, how pathetic, the both of you…” it says as it advances.
It rears up on it’s back legs and casts a shadow over you two as you look up in fear.
"The Elements are Dead, Your False-Gods are dead, and this world is dead, is that really the best you got?" asks the Nightmare Smugly.
Only to be sent sprawling against the wall by an uppercut straight to the jaw courtesy of a Shadowy Changeling with Orange Hair and Yellow Eyes.
Your Shadow smirks before he follows it up with "lightning Legs" on the blindsided Nightmare, causing it to grunt in pain from the barrage of kicks before blasting into him with "Beast Cannon" and knocking him through the wall and down to the streets of Canterlot.
After your brain, and the mare in your brain, comprehends what you've just seen, your Shadow turns to you and Cadance and says,
"Right now, I'm thinking that Akuma has to be regretting that "witty" line of his. Now are you gonna laze around all day or are we going to end this maniac?"
You stare at the... shadow you, you, Cadance, and Selena all vocalize the same thought.
"What the Buck?"
What do you do?
Episode 85: The Truth Reveled! Shadow Bugze's Secret! (Season Finale Part 12)
Your Shadow rolls his eyes and says in a deadpanned tone,
“Yes, I’m me, now are you going to get up?”
You shakily get up, still looking at your Shadow in complete shock. You shake off your shock eventually as you ask,
“But how? You’re a Shadow. My Shadow…how are you here?”
Your Shadow gives a snort of annoyance before saying while turning towards the hole in the wall,
“The walls of reality have weakened, and the blood of gods and monsters have made magic sporadic, giving me a physical form. And I’m not your shadow…”
You turn to look at the hole and see the Nightmare getting out of it and glaring at your Shadow in pure hatred. Your Shadow seems unaffected by the glare before he says,
“I’m his…”
And with that he jumps at the Nightmare with a shout of "Lighting Kick!" and sends both of them back into the hole. You can't help but stare at the hole in complete shock before you snap out of it. You see Cadence getting back up and rush over to her to help her up. After she's back up you and her look at each other before you decide to follow after your Shadow and the Nightmare. However before you can turn around Cadance stops you and pulls down your mask and gasps.
“B-Bugze…it is you…” she says tearfully.
You sigh, pulling the mask back up. “How did you figure it out?” you ask.
“The Doctor and Derpy yelled it when you were hit…” she says looking at you strangely.
“Dang it…look, I am Bugze, but I’m not like that monster out there Okay? I'll never be that thing.”
You mumble that last part to yourself as Cadence still continues to stare at you as she says,
“But you have already been possessed by Nightmare Moon…”
You wince slightly at that as you awkwardly say,
“Yeaahhh…but she’s different! She’s mellowed out a lot."
“I do not like that description…mellow,” Selena says in disgust.
You hold back a snort as you think back,
Why am I not surprised by that.
What's that supposed to mean?
Before you can respond to Selena's question Cadence starts to say,
“But…”
You interrupt her however as you say,
You tell Cadance to continue protecting the TARDIS and she does so.
"Look we can talk about this later. For now I need you to trust me, can you do that?"
Cadence looks at you uneasily before she slowly nods her head. You smile at this as you say,
"Good. Now I'm gonna go after the Nightmare and m-er the Nightmare's Shadow. While I do that you need to get back to the TARDIS and protect it from the Daleks. Can you do that?"
Cadence looks at you uncertainly before she nods her head and flies off towards the TARDIS, blasting a few Daleks on her way. You smile sadly at her retreating form as you say.
"Good Luck...."
With that said you sigh sadly before you go through the hole to follow the Nightmare and it's Shadow. After having to go through a few more holes you eventually catch up to them. You see that the Nightmare has it's Shadow in a stalemate as the Shadow keeps landing blow after blow and dodging most of the Nightmare's tail attacks, but the Nightmare just soaks and shrugs off the attacks like a tank and it doesn't look like either side is willing to give up anytime soon. Your head swoons at that as you say,
“Now this is a psychologist’s dream scenario right here.”
Shaking it off and deciding it was about time to step in you begin to charge at the Nightmare, but before you can get close...
You hear a cry of "Exterminate!" Thinking quickly you dodge to the left just in time too as a Dalek laser hits the spot where you used to be. You growl in annoyance as you see a squad of Daleks flying towards you. You dodge a few more lasers as you think
How many bucking Daleks did that nut-job Davros bring here!? I swear they just keep coming wave after wave. I should keep score of how many of these things I've blasted. I think I'm at forty-two , or am I at sixty-nine? Agh never mind that, focus Bug! There's gotta be some way to slow these guys done so I can help Sha-
*ding*
You smirk evilly as you think,
Wait a second...slow..cold...freeze...I got it!
With that thought in mind you quickly whip out your Power Glove before you aim at the Dalek squad and shout,
"Would you kindly freeze!"
With that said the Dalek's are hit head on by a icy wind that freezes them almost instantly. However it works well enough that the Dalek's fall to the ground frozen solid. Not knowing how long the Dalek's will stay frozen you use your Telekinises to life one of them up. Smirking evilly you yell at the Nightmare,
"HEY UGLY!"
The Nightmare and it's Shadow look over to you in confusion as you call out,
"CATCH!"
With that said you begin to throw the Dalekciles at the Nightmare. The Nightmare manages to break most of them before it hits it, but a few of them still manage to hit their mark which causes the Nightmare to shout out in pain. It's Shadow uses the distraction to send the Nightmare flying into another house, causing it to collapse on it. Seeing this, and having ran out of Dalek ammo, you begin to run towards the Shadow. As you do you hear Selena ask,
That was your Idea?
What? it was the only idea that could come with at the time.
I will admit it was a good idea. Using our enemies against him. Also, LOOK OUT!
Heeding Selena's warning you dodge to the left just as a roof flies by you. You look ahead to see the Nightmare out of the collapsed building and is now throwing what's left of said building. You dodge a few more pieces of rubble before you decide to taunt the Nightmare,
"Miss me Miss me know you got to kiss me!"
The Nightmare drops the rubble it was about to throw at you as it gains a disgusted look before asking,
"Eww... What are you? One of them stallion lovers?"
"What! no I'm straight. I said that cause I was taunting you." you replied only to get hit by some rubble. The Nightmare grins at this before it gets kicked into another wall by it's Shadow.
As you get up and start to run towards the Shadow you can't help but hold your head in pain as you think,
Ouch. I really gotta stop taunting creatures who can easily kill me. It's not healthy for me.
NO really? I thought that's how you live a long and healthy life.
Shut it Selena!
Ignoring the laughter in your head you finally make it over to the Nightmare's Shadow. But before either of you can say anything the Nightmare roars in rage as it gets out of the hole it was in. It stares at it's Shadow in pure hatred as it yells,
“Who are you changeling?!” shouts the Nightmare as he attempts to grab him with it's tails, but Shadow teleports closer to the Nightmare and sticks his horn into one of the eye wounds Pinkie gave him, causing him to roar in pain.
“Oh motherbucker. You’re going to wish the Pink Psycho got you!”
Shadow then blasts the Nightmare with a God Ra Mu, sending him crashing into another building. Your jaw falls at this as you can't help but stare in awe at the Shadows power. The Shadow turns towards you before it gives a annoyed "tick" before he says,
“Any day now useless!”
With that he runs after the Nightmare, but you exclaim,
“But I can’t touch him! Same matter can’t occupy the same space otherwise we'd turn into a huge imploding blob!”
"Is that so?" Shadow says turning around
"Ye-WOAH!" you cry out as your Shadow picks you up and throws you at the Nightmare with enough force to send you bouncing off his face as he gets knocked down some stairs onto the street below.
"What do you know? No imploding blobs anywhere in sight." Shadow you snarks in a deadpan tone.
“B-but…”
The Doctor lies. Selena says, But in all fairness, I believe he was trying to correct you before the wall-eyed Pegasus interrupted.
You shake your head clear. “Oh yeah…” before you run forward and call out No Shadow Kick before hitting the Nightmare with a flurry of kicks.
“Yup, definitely going to go to therapy for this one,” you say.
As you are about to No Shadow Kick the Nightmare it manages to catch you with it's tails and it...
As you are thrown through a window into a music store a song begins to play...
Throws you into a nearby music store. You crash through the window and slam into a old jukebox. This causes the old machine to spring to life as it starts to play....The Mortal Kombat Theme?
You can't help but think it's strange that a jukebox would have a video game theme in it, but you also can't help but feel that the theme is appropriate considering the circumstances. With the music edging you on you run out of the music shop and towards the Nightmare. When you're about to reach him you Psycho Crusher him into a nearby wall. The Nightmare get's out quickly and begins to fight the both of you.
After that both of you use your standard fighting moves on the Nightmare who says
“These are all our moves…what is going…” before you Johnny Cage him in the nads.
Everything is silent for a few seconds before the Nightmare uses his tails to cover his nads as he let's out a high-pitched
“eeeeeeee”
Somehow you and Shadow feel an echo of that pain in your own nethers. But soon you can't help but chuckle as you say,
"Hehehehe, no matter how powerful you are, or how mighty you act. All it takes is one punch to the nads to turn the most dangerous monsters into little babies."
The Shadow nods his head as he says,
"That's one thing we can agree on."
The Nightmare growls at this as it swipes one of it's tails at the two of you, but both of you jump back in time to avoid it. The Nightmare growls in rage as it regains it's composure and charges at the two of you. You and the Shadow share a look before you both rear your hooves back and call out respectively
“Falcon Punch!”
“Warlock Punch!”
The Nightmare tries to get out of the way of the attack, but it can't in time as both of your attacks hit him right in its gut. The Nightmare has some spit and blood fly out of it's mouth before the force of the combined attacks send him flying up the hill and into the food district.
“I heard a few ribs snap. Thanks to Pinkie, those are going to be a pain for him to heal,” he says smirking.
You look to the Shadow before you shake your head in confusion and ask,
“Why are you doing this?!”
“To stop the Nightmare, I thought that was obvious!” he shouts back as he tries to run after the Nightmare.
You stop him by grabbing him in your telekinses. He struggles against your hold as you bring him back and ask him angrily,
“No! I mean why are you helping me? After all you tried to do?”
“All I’ve ever done is try to stop him!” he shouts as he points to where the Nightmare was hit.
You angrily throw him to the ground before you growl out,
"You tried to take my body! You tried to kill me! And you had Flag try to become me! So excuse me if I’m confused!”
At that moment, Daleks appear.
“Exterminate the Insectoid Creatures!” they shout.
You and Shadow look at each other before you both fight back to back taking on the aliens, conversing as you destroy them.
“Your little whining is annoying, but I’ll answer you,” he says as he cracks open a Dalek.
“Good!” you shout as you slam your Boom Stick into one.
“Yes I tried to kill you, and yes I tried to take your body, because those are the only ways to stop the Nightmare from coming!” he explains after tearing the head off a Dalek.
“Well great job with that, looks like you totally stopped him,” you snark as you send Shock Jockey into a group.
“In YOUR universe he hasn’t come, and I wanted to ensure that at all costs!”
Your eyes widen in shock as you ask,
“You’re from here?”
“Yes you idiot! I am the shadow of the Nightmare, his exact opposite. His hatred and brutality opened up a way to your world, and I took it. I never want what happened here to happen anywhere else!” he yells giving a Warlock Punch through a Dalek.
“So you just thought you’d kill me?” you ask angrily as you Falcon punch through a Dalek.
“Yes, but only as a last resort!” he yells.
“Oh, nice! You’re merciful and a good guy huh?! Then what about Flag Burner?!” you yell back as you slam your Boom Stick into the ground, wiping out the rest of the Daleks before you get right in your Shadow's face, "Was he just some sort of accident?!"
“I was trying to push you!” he growls, “To traumatize you and make you show restraint! But a fat lot of good that did!”
“Show restraint?! You told that nutjob to become me! He caused a riot that could have killed thousands if it weren't for the Doctor!” you accuse.
“Exactly! Why wouldn’t I? I saw a reflection of him in you. A soul who never had luck, who lost his daughter, and who wanted to fight back. I pushed him down his path to show what you could become. Even if you had died in Fillydelphia, then I still would’ve accomplished my goal so win-win. Classic Xanatos Gambit.”
“What do you mean win-win? I killed a stallion! Everyling hated me again for the third bucking time! And I’ll never get over it! And if I died at Fillydelphia, there would have been a terrorist running loose killing everyling!”
“Well, you shouldn’t get over it. Wouldn’t you say you’re more restrained when it comes to taking lives? That you pull your punches, even on Dragons?” it smugly asks, "And even if Flag Burner slew you and went on to become the worst terrorist in Equestrian history, better a mere pony running free than a walking babbling omnicide machine!"
“I…” you stutter.
“Your guilt scarred your mind, and it will never heal. The Nightmare has no qualms about killing. You do. The both of you.”
So you sought to Break Bugze’s mind? To prey on his guilt? Selena asks angrily.
“It worked didn’t it? It got you to stop and think over his well being. Heck, it even got him to abandon his suicide pact with you! That’s progress in my book,” he explains.
“Then why were you trying to take over my body? Why did you keep telling me to join the dark side?” you ask.
“Because you were trying to forget about your ordeal, what you’d done. Trying to let your wounds heal…and I couldn’t have that.”
“Huh?” you ask.
“I went into your mind where you were trying to have a little family get together, and I sought to show you that reality bites. To open up those wounds. To remind you what was under your skin.”
And we beat you down you insect! Selena chides.
“Yes you did!” he says, “But still, your wounds aren’t enough. You still nearly killed that dragon, and you left your own kind to die! You still haven’t learned anything!”
"EXTERMIN-"*crack*
"SHUT UP!" you and Shadow you yell as you both Falcon/Warlock Punch a Dalek who stupidly decided to try to interrupt your argument. Shadow Bugze then turns to you and says,
"Look, now that we're on the same page, are we good now?"
"Throat or nards?"
"What?"
You then punch the stunned shadow you in the throat causing him to gag and catch his breath.
"Now we're good." you say with a hint of vindictiveness.
And I thought I could hold a grudge...
Another squad of Daleks flies in, but suddenly some dark smoky tails lash out, grab the Daleks, and viciously smashes them onto the ground as the Nightmare simultaneously uses this momentum to lift himself up to where you and his Shadow we're arguing
“Oh for the love of Pete, just buck already!” shouts the Nightmare.
You both turn around in shock to see the Nightmare has made it's way back over to you both. While your Shadow looks annoyed, you just look confused as you shout,
“Who the heck is Pete, and how long have you been standing there?”
“We’re not too sure who he is, but everyling always seem concerned about his love and sake. Oh, and we’ve been here for awhile now. So, you are us from another universe eh?” asks the Nightmare before it turns around to face Shadow as it says,
“And you’re our persona…fascinating.”
He then hits both of you with his tails, sending both of you flying backwards.
“We’ve always hated how weak we were in the past…now we get to double that hurt!”
The both of you land on opposite sides of a destroyed street. As the both of you get up the Nightmare lands between the both of you. Thinking quickly both of you charge at the Nightmare while shouting out respectively,
"FALCON PUNCH!"
"WARLOCK PUNCH!"
The two of you rear your hooves back and are about to punch the Nightmare when it just smirks as it jumps away. Both you and Shadow eyes widen in shock at this. You both try to stop but it's too late as your powered hooves collide. A bright light is seen from the impact before...
all I can think of is the Nightmare getting caught between shadow bugzes warlcok punch, and the real bugzes falcon punch... and then this happening (Skip to about fifty seconds in) https://youtu.be/Z4FT3KSeu28
A massive explosion from your punches colliding sends both of you flying! A huge fire ball erupts into and sends dust flying everywhere. Weak buildings crumble from the force and even the Nightmare is sent flying. Ash falls from the sky as the fire ball bellows down the street the street, burning everything in it's path. After a few minutes of silence the dust starts to settle and the fire begins to die out. Soon You walk out of the Store you were blown into with a slight limp. You see Shadow across from you, and while he looks bruised he doesn't seem too hurt from the blast. As you begin to walk towards Shadow you can't help but gain a goofy smile as you think,
That...was so bucking AWESOME! Our hooves collided and everything went KABOOM! and we were sent flying, and the fire ball. Oh that sweet sweet fire ball! Again! I wanna do that again!
You can hear Selena facehoof as she says,
Why am I not surprised that you of all bugs thought a explosion that took down a entire street and almost killed us thought it was awesome? There must be something wrong with your brain.
Oh hush up! You just don't understand the awesomeness that is explosions!
You have watched WAY too many Michael Beigh movies. Selena snarks.
Ignoring whatever else Selena might have said to that you reach Shadow and are about to say something when you both have to duck as a Nightmare tail shoots above you. You and Shadow look over in shock to see the Nightmare still standing, even after such a explosion like that!
You and the Shadow stare at the Nightmare. Yet again he shrugged off something that should have killed it, but this time you are prepared. As the Nightmare laughs and shoots his tail at them, you both dodge each in the opposite direction. You run at the right side of the tail, and Shadow at the left.
"Why still try? WHY? WHY DO YOU NOT SEE THEY'RE AT FAULT FOR ALL THIS? YOU SAW THEM ATTACK NIGHTSHADE TOO, RIGHT?"
Two of his tails shoot out of the ground, with you barely avoiding touching them and Shadow being ensnared.
"I will never become like you, Nightmare! I won't, and you will fail!", you shout towards him while dodging several tails being fired at you in rapid succession.
The Nightmare's maniacal laughter climbs several octaves, before he asks,
"Why? You see us. You are destined to become us. There is no way to stop it! FACE IT! The moment when Nightshade almost dies..."
You shake your head, while running into a house and running up the stairs.
Window.
"No, YOU have to..."
Stairs.
Window.
"Face reality! Your Night-"
Stairs.
Window.
"-shade died and it's your"
You run up the last stairs and reached the roof.
"Own fault! YOU killed her!"
The Nightmare's face becomes even crazier, and he mumbles,
"That's not true... we wouldn't do that... you're lying. She's not dead!"
He turns back to you,
"YOU ARE LYING! JUST LIKE LUNA, YOU LIE TO TRY TO SAVE YOUR SKIN! We offered you a chance to live for a few more seconds, but YOU refused. YOU may have killed your Nightshade, but we didn't."
He takes out the Luna-plushie,
"That's right, he may be you, but he is just like the princesses... lying to even himself. You would never let harm come to me, and he should pay for saying so!"
The shadow, still ensnared by a Nightmare-tail, spats at the Nightmare,
"You are the weak one. You couldn't hold your own mind together when she died, your body is strong..."
At this he teleports in front of the Nightmare (Why is Nightmare's Shadow able to control it when you aren't? That's so not fair!), and screams,
""But your mind is weak! SOUL SLASHER OF A THOUSAND VOLTS!"
A blade made out of pure lightning appears in front of him, and slashes at the Nightmare faster than the eye can see.
Lightning cracks all around the Nightmare, until the blade suddenly stops:
The Nightmare's tails have wrapped themselves around it, and apply pressure.
The Nightmare chuckles as the blade breaks, and smashes the Shadow.
"You cannot even hope to harm me.. us... them... with that little light show!"
"That's right fa... daddy! They are no match for you!"
The Nightmare soon begins to mumble to himself in a crazed fashion as it begins to rock back and forth the Luna Plushie in it's hooves. Soon there is a flash, and the Shadow is next to you.
"What is going on?" you ask the Shadow.
He stares at the Nightmare in shock, before replying,
"You know how I was in your mind? I know of ways to attack the mind, the spirit of someone instead of the body. I think... his broken psyche is even more broken now. It's a wonder he can still move after all of that..."
Now you realize the Nightmare is moving with more momentum than before, more like a drunken warrior.
You watch the Nightmare get back up, and attack you with two of his Nightmare-tails, hitting random spots and being even more dangerous than all seven at once before.
As you are set flying from one of it's tails, you can't help but call out as you get back up,
"How are we supposed to beat THAT?"
The Nightmare turns away from you, and screams,
"That can't be! We killed you!"
He throws several attacks, at a building, only to stop,
"You- you won't die that easily again, you say? WE'LL SHOW YOU HOW EASILY YOU DIE!"
You stare at him destroying a building, as you realize his 'Nightshade', his luna-plushie fell to the ground. You wonder if it works like yours so you run over to it only to here the Nightmare roar,
"GET THE BUCK AWAY FROM OUR BABY!!!"
You then look up to see a juggeranut of darkness charging at you with blazing rage in his remaining 2 eyes only for your Shadow to tackle you out of the way.
"We know Nightshade, we know... Daddy won't let the liar take you. You are safe now..." the Nightmare mumbles as he cuddles the Luna Plushie.
"He doesn't even imitate 'her' voice anymore... he has lost it."
"Complete and utterly", you agree.
The Nightmare slowly turns towards you,
"For trying to touch our daughter, WE WILL KILL YOU TO BUCKING DEATH JUST TO RESURRECT YOU AND RE-KILL YOU TO MOTHERBUCKING SUPER-DEATH!!!"
"...Scratch that. Complete and utterly is not enough to describe it..."
However, just before the Nightmare attacks you, you hear....
The Doctor manages to get the TARDIS patched up
A sweet, oh so welcomed sound! The Nightmare stops it's advances as it stares in confusion of the blue box appearing behind you and the Shadow. You turn around and smile as you see the Doctor opening the doors. When he notices you he smiles as he says,
"Ah there you are Bugze! If you couldn't tell I've got the old girl all patched up and ready to get inside Davros's ship. So hurry up and get in!"
You look at the Doctor with a deadpanned stare as you say,
"Doc, we can't go now! If you haven't notice the Nightmare is right behind me!"
The Doctor looks behind you and finally notices the Nightmare. He makes a 'oh' sound is about to say something when Shadow says,
"You guys go ahead, I'll distract him! He's my problem to deal with after all!"
You stare at the Shadow for a little bit and your about to say something when...
Shadow charges at the Nightmare and continues the battle. Spells begin to go flying as the Nightmare and Shadow begin to exchange blows once again. And just when you think it's about time to get out of there so Shadow can actually distract the Nightmare, You, Derpy, Doctor and Cadance witness a strange looking goat materialize near a house.
"I Grogar have appeared! Celestia! Luna! I Grogar listened to your invitation to fight that big Nightmare... But I Grogar was stopped by the traffic, Tambelon was far far away and..." Grogar explains, but the Nightmare and Shadow just ignore him.
"Hello? I Grogar I'm here! Lord of Tambelon and great sorcerer, warlock and necromancer" says the goat, but again he is ignored while the rest of you look at him in confusion.
Meanwhile from inside the mostly undamaged house, a window is opened and hits Grogar in the head, from there Kichi looks out.
"Gahh! what is with all this noise? I managed to get a little rest but with all of this racket noling can!" he shouts.
"Shining?" asks Cadence surprised.
You turn around and see Cadence sticking her head out of the TARDIS and looking at the Shining look-a-like in shock. You can't say you blame her though since the stallion in front of you looks like he could be Shining's twin, only with a different mane color.
Kichi looks and notices Cadance staring at him in delirious hope.
"Uhhh... Nope?" he says as he begins to curse himself for looking outside.
"Shining! It's me, Cadence!" she shouts, as her love magic begins to gradually flow around her You begin to feel the energy she produces, and even though you can’t eat love anymore, you still can taste it. And boy does it taste good.
Of course, for Kichi and even your Shadow, it was only a little meal, but the Nightmare is hit by it and begins to shake in...exhaustion!? It begins to hold it's head in pain as the Nightmare cloak around it begins to fizzle and become less stable. The Doctor's eyes widen at this as he says,
"Of course! The Nightmare is still a changeling under all that magic. So it must be fueled by all the negative emotions it creates as well as the energy of those that it kills and terrorizes! Cadence's love for Shining is starting to weaken him somehow!"
But seems to hear the Doctor, as the Nightmare actually begins to shrink slightly.
"Uhh... Nope, wrong guy" says Kichi.
Just then, Grogar begins to move away from the window to the door.
"Grogar is oka..." he begins, only to be stopped by a colt in cultist robes opening a door into his face.
"What is happening here?" asks the colt.
Kichi facehooves and runs to the door and smacks the colt upside the head and in doing so, you and the others see his robes.
"A General?" you and Cadence at the same time.
"Oh yeah... About this..." Kichi starts, only to be interrupted by the Nightmare.
"You there, meat shield, take care of them, We're having a headache thanks to that stupid alicorn’s love or something!" says the Nightmare.
"Really?" asks Kichi as his horn begins to glow and a green beam shoots the Nightmare.
"Aagh, What the Buck?! Are you another worthless traitor like that Diamond Dog and Timber Wolf?!" shouts the Nightmare.
"Traitor? Traitor?" Kichi says while laughing evily.
"Did you ever think that maybe not everyling follows your idea of wanting to destroy everything? I just hope that miss Pink here can take care of the sun and moon," comment Kichi looking to Cadence with an evil smile.
"I only ever served one thing, and that was our crazy queen, and if someling is a traitor it's you!" shouts Kichi with another green beam.
Now if he had done this earlier, the beams would only have tickled the Nightmare, but after the battle with the Alicorns, Discord, Tirek, destroying part of the moon, the re-entry to the planet and the fight with Shadow, not to say the love in the air, and Pinkie Pie ruining his healing factor, those beams were felt, and they didn’t feel too good.
Meanwhile you were a little confused listening to the words of the horde general and the things he was saying. Cadence also realizes that Kichi is not Shining Armor and her magic begins to weaken, allowing the Nightmare to shake away his dizziness.
As you both have this realization, you don’t notice Grogar climb to the roof of the house
"I, Grogar, will make you all pay for not taking me seriously!" he shouts as he begins to charge magic, but of course he was still ignored.
"Alright, fool us once, shame on you, fool us twice, EVERYLING DIES!" shouts the Nightmare as he spears Kichi through the chest with his tails. The Nightmare then lifts him up to slam him, but his ears are it with poetry and he winces.
"Thou who art darker than even darkness, Thou who art deeper than even the night! Thou, the Sea of Chaos, who drifts upon it, Golden Lord of Darkness! Hereby I call to thee, Hereby I swear before thee! Those who would stand against us, All those who are fools" recites Grogar as the sky darkens and darkness billows around him.
“Get off the stage you beatnick!” the Nightmare cries as he throws the wounded changeling at the goat.
Grogar looks down and is smacked in the face by the Changeling, making him stop the enchantment. Because of this, the spell fails and a big explosion happens, destroying both Kichi and Grogar and around half of Canterlot.
Thankfully, Cadence threw up a shield, which you and Shadow reinforced, protecting your group and the TARDIS from harm.
“The Buck was that?” you say aloud.
IN CHANGELING HELL.
Kichi finds himself standing in a charred landscape with lots of green fire and brimstone. He looks at his hooves and sees that he’s holding a pamphlet
Welcome to Changeling hell, if you want to visit another hell or Tartarus, just follow the map. If you want to visit someone in a heaven, just take the elevator. If you are searching for someone and can't find them, just ask information.
"Kichi, welcome back! We were waiting you," says a voice behind him, which startles him.
He turns around and sees his former ruler, Queen Chrysalis.
"My Queen! Really? You were waiting for me?" he asks.
"Of course! You were the only pure changeling left alive. Please... Come here!" say the queen pointing to a spot near her.
Kichi walks to the spot and is promptly hit repeatedly by the hoof of the Queen.
“Ow!” he cries in pain.
"This, is for calling your queen crazy!" she says as she continue to punish Kichi
"Auch... How can you know that?" he asks as he take another hit
Chrysalis points to a screen and it shows the destruction of Canterlot.
"Oh, great..." groans Kichi.
“Exactly. How did you think things would turn out by zapping my old…soldier” she hesitates.
“Well…I kind of expected to die. I was just sick of it you know?” he explains.
“Well congratulations, since you died we are now officially extinct! That Pink Psycho’s wish came true. We had hoped you would propagate the species with halfbreeds…but that’s fallen through.” she chides.
“Yeah…I’m sorry…” he says.
"And as for your punishment…aside from being in hell, I want you to give me a hooficure" she says.
"Yes, My queen" Kichi nods
"And when you finish that, you will wax my horn" Say Chrysalis
"Yes, My queen" nods Kichi
"And Kichi?"
"Yes? My queen?" he asks.
"Welcome back" Say Chrysalis with a smile
Meanwhile in Pony Heaven
The Horde Cult under Kichi wanders around, not knowing where he is or how he got there. All he remembers is his General, the Offender, some goat thing, and then a huge light.
"Oh, great, where am I?" he says aloud.
"Welcome to Pony heaven, my little pony," says a voice behind him.
The colt turns around and sees Princess Celestia in all her majesty
"Princess Celestia? What are you doing here? Wait... Pony Heaven? Shoot... I'm dead, where is Kichi?" asks the colt.
"I have bad news for you... Your friend Kichi was a changeling in disguise, he is now in Changeling hell" Celestia explains.
"Shoot... Now I can't defeat him in Fire Emblem." groans the colt.
"Don't worry my little pony, you can see him during visiting hours, meanwhile you can play here all you want." smiles Celestia.
Just then another voice is heard
"Huzzah! Take that Ocelot!" shouts the voice that of course belongs to Luna.
The colt looks to the Princess and to the screen
"Wait, is that Metal Colt Solid 3?" asks the Colt in Happiness.
Meanwhile, In the Halls of Valhalla
Everything is Shiny and Chrome, and food and drinks are everywhere as Brown Dog, Kersey, Snap Drake and Grey Rebl look at a screen displaying the battle while sitting on a couch.
“All I’m saying is you kind of went out like a chump,” Brown Dog says to Kersey, “I mean, I blew myself up and ruined everyone’s plans, Solar chewed on him and is now immortal, Grey went out pissing everyone of, and now Kichi shot the Offender and blew up some strange goat thing. I mean, sure he’s in hell, but…”
“Why?!” shouts Kersey. “Why Oh Why did I have to get stuck in the afterlife with you?! This is literally my own personal hell! Why?!”
“I don’t know, maybe the Universe hates you?” the Brown Dog guesses with a grin.
“Yeah, quit your blubbering, this place is kind of awesome,” says Grey Rebl, “And I don’t give my compliments often.
“Shouldn’t you be in hell?” asks Kersey.
“Meh, got too boring there,” he replies.
“Yeah, this place has everything. It even has go karts and laser tag and roller coasters and waterslides! It’s perfect!” adds Snap Drake.
“Then why aren’t you doing all that stuff?!” whines Kersey.
“What and miss the show? I don’t think so,” Brown Dog says as he wraps his arm around Kersey. “Don’t worry buddy, we won’t leave you to watch this alone. We’ll never leave you alone…” the Brown Dog whispers to him evily as Snap Drake and Grey Rebl put an arm around him too, chuckling as they do so.
“NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!” Kersey cries out into the eternal chrome halls of Valhalla.
Back in the Land of the Living
You and the others look around, at the destroyed half of Canterlot, which is now a debris filled wasteland. The Daleks have moved away from the destruction and moved on to the still (mostly) standing areas of Canterlot.
"Whoa... That goat had some power. Who was he anyway?" you ask in confusion.
"Some stupid goat sorcerer that tried to take control of ponies, it was when my aunties were very young,” comments Cadance with a wince after thinking of her aunts.
You nod your head at this as you say,
"Uh huh...that makes se-OH COME ON!"
The others look at you strangely for your outburst till they look where you’re looking and see the unbelievable.
The Nightmare is still standing, albeit with one less tail, and scorch marks line his body. The Nightmare starts to breath heavily as it says,
"Making a shield to survive that explosion may have cost us a tail, but at least now WE CAN HAVE THE PRIVILEGED OF SLAUGHTERING YOU ALL!"
You and the others step back in surprise, but Shadow just sighs before he says,
"Of course that wouldn't kill it! Now for the last time get going!"
You and the others look nervously at him before you all nod your heads. With that you walk into the TARDIS, and soon the Doctor takes off towards Davro's ship. The Nightmare attempts to go after them but Shadow stops him with a blast of magic. Shadow cracks his neck before he says,
"Now...time to show you what it's like to be feared!
With a war cry on both sides they charge at each other, and begin to battle once again.
MEANWHILE, WITH YOU ON THE SHIP
You, the Doctor, Derpy, and Cadence all walk out of the TARDIS and onto the ship. Looking around and not seeing any Daleks the Doctor turns around and says,
"Okay, here's the plan. We're gonna have to split up in order to find what we need. Me and Derpy are gonna take the left hallway. Bugze, I want you and Cadence to take the right. Try to stay as quiet as possible and don't get caught. They haven't figured out that we're on board yet and it'll be alot easier to escape if we keep that way, got it?"
With a nod from you and Cadence the Doctor smiles and says,
"Good. Allon-sy!"
With that he and Derpy make their way down the left hallway. You smile as you turn around to Cadence and are about to ask her if she's ready...
Or you would have if she hadn't taken you in her magical hold, slammed you against the TARDIS, and given you a death glare before saying,
"Talk. Now."
You gulp as you think
Oh this can not end well....
What do you do?
Episode 86: Infiltration Of The Dalek Mothership! Interrogation From Cadence! (Season Finale Part 13)
You struggle against the wall of the TARDIS, but Cadence's magical grip and icy glare ruin any chance of escape. She ordered you to talk, so that's exactly what you start doing, belting out everything that comes to mind, the second it comes to mind.
"Okay I admit it, I always thought you were hot even though you're already married!"
Cadence blinks once. "What?"
"One time I found a volleyball in the trash and we became best friends! I named him Wilson and cried for a week when the other changelings popped him!"
"What?" Cadence says, even more confused.
"I tried taking the cinnamon challenge last week, only I accidentally used a tablespoon instead of a teaspoon and it felt like I ate burning sand so I rushed to the fridge and drowned myself in whatever I managed to grab first and Rainbow Dash got really mad at me because I drank all her cider!"
You can feel Selena face-hoof in your mind as you're about to keep revealing your most embarrassing secrets out of fear, but Cadence shoves a hoof in your mouth to stop you. She leans in and whispers in your ear through clenched teeth,
"Now I'm going to let go of you're muzzle, and when I do, I want you to calmly and rationally tell me who you are, why you're here, and why. The. Buck. you look like Bugzy before he became that monster that just killed everypony I ever loved. Got it?"
You nod fearfully and she pulls her hoof out of your mouth with an audible *pop*.
"I'm Bugze! But not you're Bugze, the other Bugze! I'm here from another world with the Doctor because I accidentally broke his TARDIS while I was trying to smack him for ruining my life. But it turns out he was just trying to protect everyone like he always does, by making sure I never become that thing out there! But now we're here and trying to stop Nightmare me before his rage can tear a hole through time and space. If we don't the Nightmare will be able to break through to my world and get the achievement for killing everyone twice!"
"Everypony got that?" Asks a Dalek in a giant black helmet who snuck up on you during your interrogation,
"Also EXTERMINATE!"
Cadence is too fast for it though and blasts it into a nearby wall.
"Can we walk and talk at the same time?" you ask her.
Cadence sighs and reluctantly lets you down. "Fine, but you're going to explain everything to me while we look for this coupling your Doctor friend needs."
*Meanwhile with Derpy and the Doctor*
"Umm, Doctor? Aren't we supposed to be looking for the coupling so we can all go home?" Derpy asks as she flaps her wings faster, trying to match the Doctor's quick and determined pace.
"We shall in a moment Derpy. But first, we have an old acquaintance to say hello to." The Doctor tells her and continues his march down the halls of the ship.
After a few moments they come to a large and important-looking door. The Doctor slams his hoof onto the opener panel and the door *Whooshes* open dramatically, revealing a decrepit creature sitting in the lower half of a dalek suit, hooked up to multiple wires and life-support systems. Yet all the while, he stares out at the monitors showing him the death and chaos on the planet below as his Daleks exterminate anything that survived the Nightmare's rampage.
"DAVROS!" the Doctor yells, gaining the Dalek leader's attention.
"Impossible..." Davros mutters as he swivels around to face his ancient adversary.
"I thought you'd have learned to expect the impossible from me." The Doctor says with a smirk as he calmly walks forward, "This ends here and now. I've never let you destroy a world without a fight, and I won't let you this time."
“Ahhh, Doctor…It’s so great to see you again, it’s been so long” he wheezes out.
“It still hasn’t been long enough for me Davros,” the Doctor spits out.
“But of course, you are not MY Doctor…that fool died at the end of the great time war, by my hand…but you…you are from another universe” he says.
Derpy gasps, but the Doctor just stares him down.
“My Doctor unleashed the Time Lord’s greatest weapon, and Dalek and Time Lord alike were erased, but I was able to end him for his transgression…”
At this, the Doctor looks surprised.
“If I…he activated the weapon, then how are you still here?” he asks.
“The same way you are here Doctor, I fell through. Because in that final moment, I found a way out. The walls of reality, time and space have grown thin, and I was able to lead what was left of my armada through the rift. My Doctor failed.”
“Well I won’t make his mistake then.”
“Oh but you already have Doctor. Why do you think we came?” he asks.
“I…”
“We have long sought the source of the thinned reality, and it so happens to be on your precious Equis you so desperately love.”
The Doctor’s eyes widen as he figures something out.
“A powerful creature with enough rage and magic to damage reality, to open a path to another universe…”
The Doctor pales at this news.
“No…” he mutters
“Yes Doctor, thanks to one of your precious Equins, the Daleks will have a whole new universe to conquer and Exterminate.”
Davros laughs as much as his failing lungs can bear at the Doctors shocked expression before he says,
"Don't you see Doctor, this is something I could have only dreamed of. Do you see? A whole world dies below us as we speak." he says as he turns back to look at the screens, on nearly all of them, Daleks can be seen killing dozens of ponies, griffons and minotaurs who are barely able to fight back. "It is beautiful. And from the ashes of this world, the Daleks shall rise. It shall be only the first of many to become ours."
The Doctor growls and is about to say something incredibly witty and heroic, but a changeling in a horde cloak and top hat enters through another door with a plate of nachos.
"Well I'm back... finally. Did I miss anything while I was gone?" he asks.
"Hang on a tic, aren't you one of those horde leader fanatics?" The Doctor asks, "How the blazes did you even get up here!?"
Erised shrugs as he takes a seat in front of the monitors. "I dunno, I mainly just hop in wherever I want, and then do whatever feels right. Don't ask me how it works. The main reason I joined the horde in the first place was because it was fun and interesting and looked like they needed some help. Nowadays though I fell kind of useless, especially with all the other generals out there. I'm busy anyway, so I mostly just kick back and watch." he says through a mouthful of nachos.
The Doctor looks confused for a moment, but quickly returns to the matter at hoof. "Rrrriight... anyway. You're a fool to think you could get away with this Davros, and I won't even have to do anything to thwart your plans this time."
"What are you babbling about? This is going better than I could have ever imagined. This world is weak, its inhabitants no match for the superiority of the Daleks!" Davros says as he looks into the monitors with glee as the genocide continues.
"All but one." the Doctor tells him and walks up to the control panel. From there he zooms in on the Nightmare doing battle with Shadow, both still at a stalemate, but the Nightmare is slowly starting to gain the upper hoof. "That giant dark one with the tales, I'd reckon your entire Dalek army is no match for it. Even if you were to take over this world, it would destroy all of you in turn."
Davros is about to tell the Doctor that nothing could best the Daleks, especially not a lone beast, but suddenly a squad of Daleks converge on the Nightmare from behind only for the Nightmare's tails to lash out and smash the Daleks to pieces all while the Nightmare keeps his focus on the Shadow. Davros stares in shock and considers this for a moment before he smiles evilly and says,
“Ahhh...that creature. Poor Doctor don't you see...that creature will open the passage we need to move on to the next dimension regardless of how many Daleks it kills. My Daleks may not be able to stop him, but his destruction and rage will continue as long as he is engaged in battle.”
“No you can’t!” shouts the Doctor.
“We can and we will Doctor. Once again, you have failed.”
He then presses a button.
“Daleks, attack the creature en masse!” he orders.
“We Obey,” comes the response.
Dravos begins to crackle madly, which gives the Doctor a chance to quickly slip out the door with Derpy while Erised just sits there on his butt eating more nachos.
"What was that all about Doctor?" Derpy asks.
The Doctor grunts slightly before he says,
"That was Davros mouthing off all of his plans like he usually does, but now that we know what's he's planning we'll have a easier time stopping him."
The Doctor then smiles before he says,
"Besides, this is two birds with one stone my dear. Two birds with one stone. Now let's go find that coupling."
With that said the Doctor and Derpy continue to sneak away from the control center looking for the coupling. Preparing to start running at a moments notice now that Davros knows that their here.
You and Cadence continue to walk awkwardly next to each other as Cadence waits for you to start talking. This goes one for a few more minutes before you sigh in sadness before saying,
“Look, Cadance…”
Cadence suddenly stops walking as she stares at the ground. You can see tears falling down her cheek as she starts to sob,
“I tried everything in my power to make sure He was not harmed. The others wanted to harm him, but I convinced them all to take you alive. I never wanted you harmed…but you just kept fighting back, and your daughter…"
Her voice hitches slightly at the mention of your daughter before she continues sadly,
"Your daughter died and this is what you became!”
You can't help but look at her sadly as you try to say,
“But...”
“You saved my life…and then you took everything from me…” she sobs.
“But I’m not him!” you shout back.
“Oh yeah? What’s so different about you huh? How do I know you just won’t snap like HE did? That you won’t murder everyone I love again in another world?” she snarls at you as she looks at you with a glare of pure hatred.
You step back slightly as her stare, never seeing her look at you like that ever before. It pains you to see her act like this, but you know it's not her fault. She's been through alot, and like she said this version of you cost her everything. But, your not just gonna back down and let her think your just like the monster rampaging on the surface below. Gulping you say in a weak tone,
“Because…I won’t,”
She just continue to glare at you as she asks in a quiet voice,
“Where is your daughter?”
You look at her in surprise, before you sigh and grab onto The Inventory protectively before you say,
“She’s safe, in the inventory. She was drugged and is sleeping, and I really don’t want her to see any of this. And as long as I am standing she will never see this, here or in my dimension!”
Cadence looks at The Inventory sadly before she glares at you accusingly before she asks,
“And you’re saying that if she ever died, you wouldn’t kill the world?”
You wince at this before you stutter,
“I…look that'll never happen! It’s not going to come to that! My Nightshade won’t get hurt! I won’t let her.”
Cadence looks at you sadly before she says,
“You can’t guarantee that…just like my Bugze couldn’t…”
“Cadance I won’t,” you start before she glares at you.
“I’m sorry, but I just can’t trust what you say…your voice is his, and I’ve hated it for so long…” she says as she walks down the hallway.
You follow after your friend sadly. However you don't get to walk far as Cadence asks,
"So let me get this straight you are Bugys from another universe you isn't the nightmare destroying the whole of Equestria. And you are looking for some parts so the doctor needs to fix his machine because you broke it and you are stuck here." Cadences asked trying to put all the pieces together.
"Yes it's true but If the doctor told me the first place what was going one all this wouldn't have happened." You said point to what's left of Canterlot.
"And you need these parts so it can send you three home?" Cadences asked
"Yeah that's correct and also maybe taking out that thing out too." you replied
"OK then but what happens to me once you three left?"
That question struck you hard. How are you going to respond to that. A thought rushes to your head,
If we get the parts and fixed the TARIS Equestia would still be a dead world and Cadence would be the last pony left. No ling or pony to be with, to talk to, play around and have fun. She would be ALONE. What should I tell her? Should I say that everything is going to be OK or give her the bad news. She has seen so much death her friends, her family, her loved ones. All gone because of him. I need to ask the doctor when I see him. I need to ask him what will happen to Cadence's when we are done here?
"Bugze?" Cadence ask getting your attention
"Let me get back to you on that okay." you said your response to the question made Cadence's feel a bit uneasy but you smiled to her trying to give her some hope for her in the future.
She smiled back as she got the message. An hugged you for it wrapping her wings around you.
You can feel the Alicorns heart beet it feels nice and warm too like being wrapped in a warm blanket. Sadly your moment of happiness was short live as in your mind you feel urgent of what the doctor might say. That and Cadence remember who she was hugging and she pushed you away. She glares at you slightly before she begins to walk away. You sigh sadly at this as you think,
I'm so sorry Cadence. I wish there is a way to help you, and I hope I can find it before it's to late.
A FEW MINUTES LATER
As the two of you continue to walk down the hallway in awkward silence. As the two of you past by a lookout center (you know the place on ships where they can look down at the surface), you and Cadence can't help but stare at the burning wasteland that used to be Canterlot in sadness. You could barely make out the Nightmare fighting the Shadow below, as well as a bunch of Daleks attacking them. You look beyond the the dead city towards the vaults, but to your dismay you see that they've been busted open with Daleks streaming into them. Your eyes widen as tears threaten to come out as you think,
NO! They got into the vaults! All those ponies that were in their! Twlight's parents! Sapphire! Oh Luna I sent that Moondancer mare there! Did I...did I send her to her death?! Oh Luna what have I done!
You feel your hooves begin to buckle at all the ponies who are probably now nothing but ash, but you snap out of it when Selena says,
Bugze, I know how you must feel right now. But we need to focus on the mission. Their fates were sealed the moment the Nightmare entered the city, the Daleks just spread up the process. Their was nothing we could have done. Right now the best thing we can do is carry on and remember those who have fallen. Besides...
You suddenly see Shadow violently get smashed through a building and into a vault entrance as the Nightmare soon follows by sling-shot-ing himself after the Shadow. Soon you see broken Dalek pieces flying out of the Vault.
It would appear that their deaths will soon be avenged.
You calm down only slightly as you think,
O...okay. I'll focus on the mission. If we can get the TARDIS to work then we can stop this from happening, right?
I suppose that is true...
Then that's what I'll focus on. If the only hope I have is the TARDIS to save all those ponies, then by Luna I will get that coupling!
Making a determined nod, you about to continue onwards when Cadence says,
"You think anypony's is still out there?"
You gulp slightly at this as you say,
"If there is...then Luna help them. Come on, we need to find that coupling if we wanna stop this from ever happening."
Cadence sniffs slightly before she gives a determined nod and begins to walk ahead. Before you follow her you can't help but look back outside as you think,
I hope that there's still something alive out there....
Solarkness the Timberwolf just finished forcing the Dalek to 'drink' tea (he found some teacans in nearby ruins, and poured them over the Dalek's eye. He also found two tophats and made the Dalek wear one, and wore the other), and tells him,
"What a great day to have a tea-party, isn't it? Now I just wish we could watch something..."
"EXTERMINATE!"
Solar laughs as the beam hits him, and his body reappears after a while. He looks over the movies, even though he cannot watch any, and finds one very interesting,
"Doctor Whooves the whole first season? Hey, do you know why there is a picture of you on there?"
The Dalek stares at the picture, and says,
"IMPOSSIBLE! THE DOCTOR IS DEAD!"
"...wait, here it says he has that nice thing... TARDIS or something like that. Say, do you know where he died?"
"WHY SHOULD I TELL YOU? EXTERMINATE!"
Solar sighs. "That doesn't matter. I have the whole eternity to search."
In Valhalla
"What is that sound?" a yak asks perplexed.
His partner who he was talking with, stares at something behind the former.
"There is something behind me, isn't it?"
Solar steps out of the... inherited TARDIS of this universe's Doctor Who, and exclaims,
"Finally, after ten thousand nine hundred sixty-seven years of searching the planet, fifty-six months of searching materials for and building a rocket, seventy million years searching the cosmos for the TARDIS, and being stuck in the worst, most disgusting sewers, after three centuries of swimming through those garbage-infested rivers, after fifty years of climbing those nauseating, slimy walls and sixty hours of me teaching myself how to pick a lock so I can get out of there, and falling into the falltraps that brought me there twice again, I have finally found it on a planet that is missing any atmosphere!"
"I HAVE TOLD YOU ALREADY THAT WAS NOT A PLANET, THAT WAS A BIG ASTEROID!"
Solar snickers, and says,
"Yeah, whatever you say Dalekarian!"
"YOUR NAME FOR ME IS STUPID!"
The yaks look at the Timberwolf just entering Valhalla from a blue police-box... carrying one of the Daleks they watched, just with everything they use for destruction dismantled.
"So, did you happen to have seen some people in capes, most likely like this?"
He takes out his horde-leader-cape, and shows it to them.
"I think down that corridor some had one...", one of the yaks mumbles, pointing down one of the many corridors leading out of the round room.
"Thank you!", the Timberwolf says and walks back into the police-box.
Everything is Shiny and Chrome, and food and drinks are everywhere as Brown Dog, Kersey, Snap Drake and Grey Rebl look at a screen displaying the battle while sitting on a couch.
The inherited TARDIS materialises next to the couch of Brown Dog, Kersey, Snap Drake and Grey Rebl.
"Wait, the Tardis is on the screen, it shouldn't be here...", one of them mumbles.
Solar steps out with a Dalek, and asks,
"Hey guys, I came to watch all the destruction with you! It took me only around seventy million years to find this nice shiny thing getting me into the afterlife. Anyone wanna travel around time and space after this all is over? Wait, sweet, is that the scene where I realise I could find a TARDIS?"
"It is..."
Meanwhile with Bugze
"How did you get me to go into the airvents again?", Cadance asks you.
You crawl further, and tell her,
"Well... there were two Daleks who probably would have spotted us if we stayed where we were... and there was this convenient air vent placed... Hey, I think this is the exit!"
You open the air vent, and crawl out of it, landing on Derpy. "Ouch... Sorry, didn't see you there", you apologise to her.
You get off of Derpy as Cadence lands next to you. As you help Derpy up you look over to the Doctor and ask,
"Hey Doc, any luck finding a coupling yet? Me and Cadence checked like half the ship on the side we were on with no luck."
The Doctor shakes his head as he says,
"Sorry old chap, but we've got nothing on our end either. But I think we're getting close. But what I can't understand is way Davros hasn't triggered the alarm yet. You think he would after I talked to him."
Before you can yell at the Doctor for reveling himself that their on the ship after he told you to not get found, you are all suddenly surrounded by Daleks! You and Cadence get into a attack position as one of the Daleks say (shouts),
"THE DOCTOR AND HIS COMPANIONS WELL COME WITH US OR THEY WILL BE EXTERMINATED!"
As your about to give your response to the Dalek via a staff into it's eye-stalk the Doctor stops you as he says,
"Alright, we'll follow you."
The Dalek nods it's eye-stock as the rest of you start to get led towards somewhere on the ship. As you all do you can't help but wonder out loud,
"I wonder if Shadow is doing any better then us?"
"THE PRISONERS WILL NOT TALK OR THEY WILL BE EXTERMINATED!"
You grumble at this, but your question still stands.
"Warlock Punch!" The Nightmare is launched across the shattered street by his shadow's attack. He bounces a couple times before sliding into a building that's somehow still standing. The Nightmare gives a growl and quickly warps his tails around the building, and hurling it at the shadow. In a flash of green, the shadow teleports out of the way, before charging towards The Nightmare. "Lightning Legs!" The shadow screams as he unleashes a flurry of kicks. The Nightmare holds up one of his Nightmare Tails, absorbing the attacks, before a second tail grabs the shadow and slams him into the ground with a crunch.
Another flash of green and the shadow teleports from The Nightmare's grip. "You're not gonna get rid of me that easily," he growls.
"We wouldn't have it any other way. We're going to cherish this!" The Nightmare answers threateningly. He dashes forwards, wrapping a tail around his front hoof. As he comes upon his shadow, the Nightmare screams out "Dark Falcon Punch!"
"Warlock Punch!" The Shadow replies, answering the Nightmare's attack with his own. The two punches collide, and the resulting blast of wind sends both of the two sliding backwards, away from each other. The Nightmare bounds quickly forwards, his horn lighting up as he fires blasts of dark magic. The Shadow ducks around these attacks, bobbing and weaving around the bursts of magic as he charges forwards. "Beast Cannon!" He cries as he breaks into a spinning tackle. The Nightmare crosses two tails in front of him to block the attack, but the Shadow's sheer power pushes him back through the street, before breaking through his guard and knocking him down. The Nightmare roars in anger, his tail shooting out and grabbing the Shadow from behind, before launching him at a nearby building.
The Shadow crashes into the building with a blast of dust and sound. He begins to pry himself from the wreckage, but notices the Nightmare pouncing at him from above. With a gritty grin, he cries out "Electric Wind God Punch!", before leaping up to hit the villain with an electrical uppercut. The Nightmare crashes into the road, while his Shadow continues on his upwards arc, before turning back towards the fallen Nightmare. "Beast Cannon!" His spinning tackle again blasts towards the Nightmare, but the dark creature grabs his Shadow with his Nightmare Tails, before slamming him into the ground multiple times. The Nightmare tosses his Shadow up again, before leaping up with him and wrapping a Nightmare Tail around his hind leg.
"Dark Falcon Punt!" The Nightmare screams as he punts the Shadow like a hoofball; he soars through the air before slamming into yet another building. The Nightmare lands on his hooves before charging towards his Shadow, who stumbles slowly out of the crater he's created. The Shadow's expression turns grim as he turns to face the charging Nightmare before him.
"Depressive Deluge!" The Shadow screams, summoning a torrent of screaming water that slams the Nightmare to the ground. "Swarm of Responsability!" The Shadow follows up, summoning a frenzy of vaguely insectile shapes. The insects zoom towards the Nightmare, binding themselves around the villain and chaining him to the ground. The Shadow steps slowly towards the astonished Nightmare.
"How are you doing that?" The Nightmare screams.
"I'm not." The Shadow replies. "My powers, my abilities- they're all in your mind. Or at least what's left of it."
"Hmph. What's that supposed to mean?" The Nightmare growls as he struggles against his bonds.
"I'm your Shadow. Your true self," The Shadow says. "Except- not truly. I'm more violent, more volatile, and you're supposed to overcome me. You're supposed to overcome me, but instead you've succumbed to your darkest urges! Look at yourself! You're a blithering wreck, a grub with the power of a god, throwing a diving tantrum and not bothering to care about the consequences. And when you need your Shadow to tell you what's going on, you know that you need to stop. You've gotta think- which one of us is truly the shadow?"
The Nightmare's eyes dart around frantically, before they freeze, and he breaks into a smile. "Huh. Who knew? Even Shadows have shadows."
Suddenly, from the Shadow's shadow great chains of darkness wrap themselves around the Nightmare's double, ensnaring him in their grip. With a cry of rage, the Nightmare rips through his bonds, before dashing towards his Shadow. "Shadow Shoryuken!" He screams, catching the Shadow in the chin with a great dark uppercut and tossing him into the air. The Shadow flies through the air, and lands across the road, on his hooves. The two combatants glare at each other for several moments- then they dash towards each other, screaming cries of war.
The meet in the middle and the Nightmare grabs Shadow in it's tails. It's about to smash him into the ground when...
Down Below, The Nightmare gets the upper hand on Shadow, by pinning him under what’s left of a bakery. Before he can finish him off, he is hit by multiple lasers from behind. “AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!” the Nightmare shouts in pain. His right hoof has a few more holes in it, along with his flank. He grits his teeth in anger and focuses his attention on the Daleks, leaving Shadow to dig his way out.
“AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!” the Nightmare shouts in pain as he is hit by dozens of Dalek lasers (he was able to ignore them before, but now the Daleks all seem to be aiming at an exact spot). He grits his teeth in anger and focuses his attention on the Daleks as he starts wildly flailing Shadow like a club to smash the Daleks as he pounces on one Dalek after another, destroying them effortlessly with his clawed hooves and his Nightmare Tails shoot out to grab, crush, throw, and smash Daleks resulting in the Nightmare becoming a one-bug frenzy as he violently and effortlessly tears through dozens of Daleks a second. As the Shadow moans in pain, the Nightmare turns it's attention towards the Dalek mothership as it growls out,
With that, the Nightmare starts to spin Shadow around himself, increasing velocity with every lap before he hurls Shadow up at the Mothership with enough force to make Shadow reach exit velocity. The Nightmare is about to follow when stops and suddenly he says,
"Wait... How the buck do we get up there..."
Shrugging, he then turns his attention to the last damaged Dalek and starts to slowly approach it while sadistically saying,
"We're sure we'll think of something will taking our time with this trash can..."
With so much Killer Intent radiating from the Nightmare, even this lone Dalek begins to feel fear as it exclaims,
"Oh no you don't!" the Nightmare exclaims as he pounces on the Dalek and they both phase away...
BACK ON THE SHIP
As the four of you continue to be 'escorted' towards some unknown location, the wall behind you all suddenly explodes, killing the two Daleks behind you. The four of you, and the two Daleks in front of you, turn around in surprise to see...
Shadow?
You gain a look of confusion as you ask,
"Shadow? What are you doing here? Wait a second...if your here then where's the Ni-"
"WEEEEEEEEE!!!"
Suddenly the Nightmare surrounded by pieces of a shattered Dalek suddenly phase into the room and drops to the ground. Without missing a beat, the Nightmare then grabs the remaining Daleks in the room with his Nightmare Tails and starts banging them together as he says,
The four of you back up in fear as the Nightmare notices you and cheerfully says,
"Oooooh! The most annoying ponies left alive too! This is just our lucky day!"
You can't help but gulp in fear and are about to suggest a tactical retreat, when you see Shadow weakly get up and coughs roughly. When his coughing fit ends he looks over to you weakly as he says,
"Bugze...I hate that I have to say this, in fact me saying might just kill me, but it needs to be said. We need to fight the Nightmare... with a nightmare."
You stare at him in confusion as the Nightmare Cloak starts to slowly appear on Shadow before your eyes widen as you think,
He's not serious is he! After all this version of me has done, he wants me to use your power!
Bugze he's right! We have no choice but to use my power! If you don't were all doomed!
As you and your Shadow stare at the deranged Nightmare in front of you, you can't help but think,
I don't want to...after everything I've seen and done here. All these ponies' lives lost because of the Nightmare's power!I never want to feel it ever again! But...
You glare at the Nightmare before you in anger as your own Nightmare Cloak begins to form. As it slowly begins to creep up your body you see the delighted look in the Nightmare's eyes. But you also notice the pure fear in Cadence's. Your glare doesn't waver however as you think,
If it's power is the only thing that can stop this monster. To finally end this Nightmare once and for all! So that no more ponies or griffins or even changelings will have to suffer! Then...
Your eyes begin to glow a dangerous orange as your Nightmare Cloak fully surrounds you. One tail grows from you as you yell out,
Collide in the middle of the hallway. You try to hit him with your tail, but the Nightmare just grabs it and flings you away. Shadow then lands a few kicks on it before he's shoved back by a tail. It goes on like this for awhile, and while this is going on Cadence has a horrified look at seeing two Nightmares fighting each other. Soon her eyes snap shut in fear before she opens them. She begins to run around the area in a panic as she says,
"Come on, come on , COME OM! This is a bucking alien ship, there must be some ultra powerful weapon somewhere around here to take care of them!"
The Doctor looks at Cadence with worry as he asks,
"Uuuh are you okay Cadence? Never mind, how do you know that?"
Cadence stops her panicked assault of random buttons as she looks to the Doctor with strands of hair in her eyes. The Doctor gulps slightly at this as Cadence says,
"Shining used to see alien and zombies movies all the time after the changeling invasion. He wanted to be ready for anything...but he wasn't when it came! So now I'm gonna find something on this ship to end it!"
With that she goes back to her insane pressing, leaving a confused and slightly scared Doctor and Derpy to stare at her.
Meanwhile you, Shadow, and the Nightmare continue to fight until the Nightmare grabs you and hits you into a console and the console explodes! The Nightmare flings you to the other side of the room and you crash into the wall. You get up weakly as you say,
"Ugh... I hope that console wasn't important."
As soon as you say that, an alarm starts to go off as red lights start to flash everywhere. Soon a feminine voice yells over the alarm,
"BECAUSE OF SIGNIFICANT DAMAGES TO THE MAIN CONSOLE, THE SELF DESTRUCTION HAS BEEN ACTIVATED. THIS SEQUENCE CANNOT BE ABORTED. ALL DALEKS GO TO THE EMERGENCY TELEPORT PLATFORMS!"
Everyling's eyes widen (besides the Nightmare's, as he is currently being punched by Shadow) as the Doctor says,
"Ummm... Tha's new."
"What is new, the self destruction sequence?" asks Derpy
"OOOhh, no, that happen too many times. The strange thing is that they put in an alarm and a female voice to tell everypony," says The Doctor.
"Gaaaahhh!!! The ship is gonna self destruct!!!" You shout in worry, ignoring the Nightmare as it grabs Shadow and slams him into you like a bat.
"How much time we have?" asks Cadence as she is still randomly clicking buttons.
"Who knows, maybe an hour, maybe a day, I don't know too much about Dalek Self-Destruct Technology."
"T-minus two minutes till self-destruction."
The Doctor blinks at this as he says,
"Oh. We have two minutes till the ship self-destructs...."
As you go flying by the Doctor, who is now in a thinking pose, you can't help but ask as you run back towards the Nightmare,
"DOC! WE'LL HANDLE THIS CREEP FOR AS LONG AS WE CAN! GRAB CADENCE AND FIND THAT BUCKING COUPLING!"
The Doctor stares at you in shock before he nods his head, grabs Cadence and Derpy, and then proceeds to run away. The Nightmare notices this as he yells,
"AND WHERE DO YOU THINK YOUR'RE GOING!?"
The Nightmare flings one of it's tails at them, but you intercept it with a Falcon Punch. The Nightmare glares at you as you say,
"Hey creep, your fight isn't with them..."
The Nightmare gets punched in the face and is sent flying as Shadow joins your side. As the Nightmare gets back up from where it crashed Shadow finishes your sentence,
"It's with us!"
With that both you and Shadow stick your hooves out towards the Nightmare while making a 'come at me' gesture as you both shout,
"SO COME GET SOME!"
The Nightmare roars in rage at it comes charging at the both of you. The both of you meet it head on with the intent to punch him, but...
The fight eventually takes the three of you into a huge room (it would turn out this is a room where Daleks practice large-scale combat.
The Nightmare manages to grab both of you and hurl you both through the wall behind you. The both of you crash through multiple walls before the both of you crash into a really huge room that looks like it was some sort of training field. The two of you crash through a couple of pony dummies before you both stop in the middle of the room. As the both of you begin to weakly get up, you both hear a roar of anger as you turn to see the Nightmare charging at the both of you through the hole. Both of you manage to dodge just in time as the Nightmare passes you. The Nightmare soon stops itself as it turns around and yells,
"STAND STILL ME! WE WANNA SHOW YOU THE JOY OF A PAINFUL DEATH!"
You gulp in fear at the Nightmare's threat before you shake it off and charge at him. However the Nightmare proves to be faster then you even in it's weakened state. He grabs both you and Shadow in it's tails before he proceeds to slam the both of you into the hard metal ground over and over again. But Shadow manages to escape from the Nightmares attack via a teleport. You attempt to try the same thing, but the Nightmare notices this and goes double time on you, making you lose concentration of the spell due to all the pain. This goes on for awhile while Shadow tries to help you until you hear a female voice say,
Solarknes's Comment
"5"
You and Shadow's eyes widen in terror as you think,
Oh buck the ships about to blow and were still on it! We're doomed!
Before you can delve more into that depressing thought you see Shadow ram a full body shot into the Nightmare and unleashes the fury of a thousand warlock punches upon him.
"4"
The Nightmare counters by Dark Psycho-crushing right through him, and the wall.
"HEY!", a now exposed Dalek on a toilet shouts.
You look at the Dalek strangely as you think,
Dalek's go to the bathroom?
"3"
The Dalek begins to wildly fire at Shadow and Nightmare, and the Nightmare destroys it without looking. Shadow shouts, "God Ra Mu!" and frees himself from the Nightmare.
"2"
"Are you ignoring me?", you wonder looking at them as you free yourself from the Nightmares tails. They don't respond, but both use their moves Dark No Shadow Kick and Lightning Legs. The attacks collide and send them both flying backwards.
"1"
"Um, I don't know about you, but this really seems like a bad time to just ignore the ship blowing up or sitting around and doing nothing... Oh shoot!", you cry out as you realise YOU are sitting around doing nothing on a self-destructing ship.
"Please, do try to be quiet. I have a job to do here", the voice tells you.
You look around shocked, and then mumble,
"Okay..."
"What did you say? I couldn't understand you."
"Okay!" you shout.
"Good. Have a nice day, destroyer of the world!"
"Have a nice day!" you, Shadow and Nightmare reply at the same time.
"Hang on, there seems to be a problem here... the self-destruction-mechanism doesn't appear to be working."
You shrug and you start to re-enter the battlefield. However before you can enter the fight...
BrownDog's Comment
You hear the heavenly sound of the TARDIS landing behind you. You turn around to see the Doctor, Derpy, and a...twitching Cadence? You shake it off as the Doctor says,
"Oh thank the Maker we found you! We managed to find the coupling!"
You look at the Doctor in happiness as you say,
"Oh thank Luna! Where'd you find it?"
The Doctor and Derpy look away sheepishly at your question. You give them a confused look before the Doctor mumbles something. You look at him even more confused as you ask,
"What?"
The Doctor mumbles something a little bit louder, but you still can't make out what he's saying. You hold your hoof to your ear as you ask again,
"What?"
The Doctor once again just mumbles slightly louder. You give an annoyed sigh as you ask for the third time,
"What?"
The Doctor gives a annoyed sigh before he shouts,
"IT WAS RIGHT NEXT TO THE TARDIS, OKAY!?"
You wince slightly at his tone, but you also have to hold back a chuckle from how funny that is. But you stop laughing as you realize that you all could've gone back in time a long time ago by now! You give the Doctor an angry glare and are about to yell at him when he is shot from behind by a beam of energy causing him to spasm and fall.
“Doctor!” cries out Derpy as she cradles him.
You turn around and see Davros, behind the Doctor and Derpy, cackling with an energy weapon.
You are about to charge at the mad man when you are grabbed from behind by the Nightmare. You struggle to let go before you see the Doctor's fallen form.
“Doctor NO!” you cry out as you bite one of the Nightmare’s hooves in half, causing him to let you go.
“Ah Mother Bucker! That was our favorite hoof!” he screams, before Cadance shoots him in the face.
You rush over to the still body of the Doctor as Derpy holds him and cries.
“Aw no! Doctor, don’t be dead! Wake up, or Regenerate…just don’t be dead,” she pleads.
“Heh heh heh…Once again Doctor You are dead before me…it was all worth it once more, just for this…” Davros wheezes as he starts pointing his weapon at Derpy.
You angrily jump towards the Dalek creator and break his weapon.
“You stupid Mother Bucker! We’re all going to die because of you!” you yell as you punch Davros in the face.
“Yes…death for you, but the Daleks shall remain victorious!” he chuckles.
Having enough, you throw the monster towards the Nightmare.
The Nightmare catches the Dalek creator and looks at him.
“You’re one ugly motherbucker,” he says to Davros laughing, before he begins coughing.
“Daleks are superior in every way…” he says.
The Nightmare spits out some blood onto Davros’ face.
“Now that’s an improvement,” he says before tossing Davros at Cadance and Shadow.
The creator is thrown violently to the side where he still cackles, even as he lies prone.
You look down at the Doctor and realize that without him, the TARDIS is all but useless.
“Oh we’re bucked, we’re bucked, we are so bucking bucked!” you start panicking.
“Come on Doc, Wake Up! WAKE UP!” you yell as you slap the Doctor’s face. Surprisingly, this works.
He sits up and gasps and starts coughing as Derpy screams, “You’re alive,” before hugging him hard.
“D-ditzy…can’t breathe…” he wheezes.
“Oops, sorry,” she says as she relents.
“How are you still alive?” you ask.
The Doctor pulls out the orb Bon Bon gave you earlier.
“Well I guess Jack wanted to make sure I didn’t die, and if I did, at least I would keep this face,” he says.
“It matters not Doctor, you cannot win…” Davros wheezes.
“Well neither can you!” he shouts back.
Behind you Cadance is knocked backwards into a wall and Shadow is trapped in his tails as Nightmare gouges one of his eyes out.
“Doc, please tell me you’ve fixed the dang thing!” you shriek.
“Yes, the Old Girl is all set, now hurry, get in before…”
“OH NO YOU DON’T!!!” the Nightmare screams as he hits the Doctor and Derpy into the TARDIS, and it fazes out of time.
“NOOOOOO!!!!” you yell as you round on the Nightmare and begin pummeling him.
“THAT WAS OUR LAST CHANCE!!!!” you begin shouting, and more blood leaks from his mouth. You feel a second tail beginning to form, but you don't care as you continue to beat him senseless.
“Well good, now you have no distractions,” the Nightmare says before it slashes you across the belly with one of his claws and throws you backwards.
You look up from your fallen position as......
Solarknes's Comment
Nightmare Bugze stands over you, and laughs. As his tails crawl closer to you, you don't know why he let them rest at the floor,
You chuckle as you remember an old game, Unwritten Tales or something like that was its title, you don't remember, and say,
"I am your conscience!"
The Nightmare snorts, and replies,
"We don't have a conscience. We are a monster without conscience."
You laugh at that, and tell him,
"I loved that game.
As you suddenly enter the third phase of your Nightmare-powers, growing your horns, sharpening your fangs and letting your Nightmare Cloak become unstable. You release your Nightmare Screech at him, and while Shadow and Cadence cover their ears in pain, the Nightmare seems unaffected by it. When you Screech ends you don't stay still for long as you shout with you...
You then perform Meteor Impact as Shadow performs Chidori which results in a devastating combo move on the Nightmare that obliterates that part of the ship (fortunately the Dalek countermeasures activate in time to keep you from being sucked out into the vacuum of space) and knocks the Nightmare into the vaccum of space... Only for him to use his nightmare tails to come back.
You then perform Meteor Impact as Shadow performs Chidori which results in a devastating combo move on the Nightmare that obliterates that part of the ship (fortunately the Dalek countermeasures activate in time to keep you from being sucked out into the vacuum of space) and knocks the Nightmare into the vaccum of space... Only for him to use his nightmare tails to come back.
You and Shadow gasp in shock at this as the Nightmare simply chuckles as it says,
"That the best you got?"
You growl in rage as you charge at him while calling out in a voice that' a mix of yours and Selena's,
"SHADOW SHORYUKEN!", and your Shoryuken reach him just as Shadow gives him an Electric Wind God Fist, turning it into a true Shadow Shoryuken.
The Nightmare gets flung through a wall, landing on and crushing several Daleks who had ignored the evacuation-warning.
You see him trying to replicate your improved move, and failing,
"Why is it not working?We were always able to instantly copy..."
You laugh, and shout,
"No. YOU never were able to instantly copy something. I, this world's version of me, was able to. YOU are neither me, nor are you Selena. You tried to surpass us by becoming one, and made yourself much lesser because of it."
Nightmare glares at you in hatred, before shouting,
"WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT!"
He slices straight through Shadow's wings with one of his tails, and throws Shadow to the side.
"Just you and us...also, who in the buck is Selena?"
"She's ten times the god that you'll ever be," you taunt.
"Why thank you," she says with your mouth, "Although I believe it is more than 10 times..."
"Not the point! Just take the compliment" you say as you take back your mouth.
Your changing voice throws the Nightmare off momentarily.
"Sh-she sounds like the DFV...before she stopped talking..." it says.
Taking advantage of the distraction, youou use No Shadow Barrage, but suddenly one of his tails flings you to the ground.
"ENOUGH! We are a GOD, and you're nothing but a voice! We shall not be beaten by you!" he shouts while his tails begin to form his dark aura into a huge energy-ball.
You smile, before wondering,
"Wait, didn't that happen already once? Eh, never can have enough references! Even if they're used twice..."
You try to grab him with your two nightmare-tails, as he finishes his ball and SMACKS IT DOWN ON YOU!
"Now really, you shouldn't interrupt references! Changelings who interrupt them should be punished", Nightmare tells you.
You feel immense pressure against your body, your mind, and your soul...
"Heh, guess this is the end..." you hear Shadow Bugze's voice from outside, "You know,", at this he coughed followed by a splat, "I never imagined going out like this... being beaten to death by someone who is even worse than his own shadow."
As the pressure on you rises higher, you think to yourself and Selena,
'Heh, can't say I didn't lead an interesting life...', the next part you spoke out loud,
"Aww, getting sentimental Shadow Bugze? Didn't think you were that kind of person. Selena, I really wished you would have been able to take care of Nightshade after all this... I really did."
You know... the time we spent together... it was the best time of my life... she says with what you know is a smile. At least we won't turn into... THAT.
"Ditto..." You agree with her as the pressure reaches it's highest point. You try to tell her goodbye, and she tries to say something as well
Bugze...I...
Before the pressure suddenly stops.
"Huh?", you mutter to yourself, opening your eyes. All around you is a sphere of pure darkness, evil energy lashing out at everything close to it. And you're right in the middle of it all. "Wha... how...", you wonder, not understanding anything at all.
It seems like this attack has something resembling the Eye of the Storm...
You looked around in wonder, as you get an idea...
"Hey, Selena, could we tap into that whirlwind of energy to attack him?", you ask her.
Hmm... it might be difficult to find an anchor capable of withstanding it... but we should be able to do it! You get an idea, and take out the Boom-stick. You form a small, weak nightmare-tail with Selena, and let it reach into the sphere of evil. Suddenly a barrage of emotions and feelings start to hit you,
Power... Darkness... Hate... Fear... Need... Joy?
"You can do this!", you hear Shadows voice come to you, his body laying half broken somewhere outside the sphere.
You and Selena both ignore him, as you re-direct the flow of the energy... while struggling to keep in control.
"Nrgh... just a little bit to the right... DONE!"
The whirlwind of energy flows into you, and then into the Boom Stick.
You see the Nightmare's silhouette about to finish off others who you presume to be the Shadow's and Cadence's, you take aim,
"Boom, baby...", you mutter to yourself as you unleash the power.
A whirling beam of pure darkness shoots out of the boomstick, black and purple swirling around eachother, making it seem like faces, agonised faces...
As it hits Nightmare Bugze, he gets flung backwards and starts to disintegration while you can hear his voice cry out in anger,
You smile and stand up shakily, the Nightmare Cloak still around you and in Phase 3 as you ask,
"What, did you expect something more?" you say smiling at both Shadow and Cadance.
Cadance just looks at you in a weird way and doesn't answer.
"Usually monsters like him get epic deaths... not just some disintegration with lame final words...", he explains, before trying to stand up and failing.
You start to walk over to Shadow and Cadance to help them up, but Cadance scoots away from you.
"Get away from me!" she cries as her horn lights up.
"Cadance, I..." you start before she teleports away. You look around and are about to call out for her when...
A Nightmare tail springs out of the smoke and slams into the ground. You and Shadow and Cadance (who's om the other side of the room) look at it in surprise as you say,
"No...that's impossible! There's no way he's still alive!"
You soon hear dark chuckling as the smoke clears to reveal...
A very damaged Nightmare. It's now missing both of it's horns and tusks, as well as another tail and eye.
"But we heard you die!" you shout.
"Nah, we were just bucking with ya..." and it begins cackling again, but they sound labored and wet as blood comes out his mouth. The Nightmare stops chuckling as it says,
"We're the Unkillable Nightmare, The Master of Darkness, The Bucking God of Death and Rage! We've survived Solar Beams that were hotter then that. So if you think you can take us down with just that..."
With that he reaches you, Shadow and Cadance and the fight continues...
Grey Rebl's Comment
And needless to say, you are being pummeled.
You rapidly shoot out fire balls, but the Nightmare dodges them all with meaningless ease. You continue to spam fire in hopes of keeping distance at the very least just so you could come up with a better tactic. However, your thoughts of a new plan breaks as the Nightmare suddenly takes a shot of fire head on and tackles you, its claws digging into the very chitin of your hide!
You both tumble across the ground with a grunt, a flurry of Nightmare Tails swinging at each other to gain dominance over the other. With quick thinking, you distract the monster with a summon of Nightmare Bees and hop away from reach of its reaming tails.
The Nightmare disintegrates those bees with a shriek of darkness, and the darkness aims right at you! You jump away, steppy-stone over a flying, passing Dalek, and glide with Air Bending towards an exit, only for the Nightmare to tackle you yet again and into a long hallway.
This time, you kick the monster off with you tails and shout, "Kindly eat lightning!", effectively shooting Nightmare a few extra meters before scurrying back up and going in for a Falcon Punch. However, your attack is blocked from a tail, and it pushes you away before the Nightmare sends out another wave of darkness.
With nowhere to go in a narrow hallway, you bring out a forcefield, and feel the brunt of the darkness. However, you became easy pickings as the forcefield begins to crack, and then the Nightmare 'Shadow Falcon Punches' your barrier into breaking into many itty bitty pieces.
Out of reflex, you back away and point your power glove at its face and shout, "Kindly burn!". The flare didn't even stop him! So you panic and use a sloppy 'Shuryken' to it's jaw. The Nightmare didn't even budge. It smirks.
The monster slams you to the side with its tails, smashing you through several walls as you cry in pain! You stop when one wall didn't break. Fighting the aches, you try to stand back up but only for the Nightmare to blast out another shot of seething darkness and send you through more walls! Eventually, you end up in some kind of Dalek Cyro storage.
Groaning, you groggrily try to refocus your vision as the Nightmare struts toward you, smirking cockily at you.
"That all you got?"
You force a grin. "That all YOU got? Come at me! I'm feeling ticklish!" you lie.
The Nightmare growls and rushes at you with the intent to ram you through more walls. Good
With a grunt, you slam your Power Glove to the floor. "Kindly Freeze!"
The floor became nothing but slipper transparent ice, which causes the Nightmare to slip and slide from its assault. Snarling, it digs its tails into the floor to maintain every last bit of stability, but it's too late.
"Psycho Crusher!" you shout, pushing the Nightmare into a Cyro tube. "Now kindly chill the buck out!"
Combining the coldness and ice of the Cyro Storage Unit, you freeze the Nightmare in place instantly. Even so, however, the ice already begins to crack by the mosnter's struggles. So, as quickly and as powerfully as you could make it, you charge a bolt of fire and shoot it point blank. The ensuing explosion of mist and steam blows you out of the storage unit, the Dalek ship blaring warnings of a damaged room. Big mistake it. It only helps the Nightmare along.
"Oh buck--" is as far as you could say before you see the eye of the Nightmare flashing in the steam and a hoof sinks into your chest and launch you through another bucking wall! "Ugggh!"
The Nightmare yells,
"Use your Nine-tails already!"
You yelp as you duck from a tail, only for another tail to hit you square in the face and send you flying into a wall, bending the metal with a resounding crank! At least it isn't through it this time...
"What's wrong?!" the Nightmare yells,
"Why aren't you going Nine-Tails?! You know that it's your only chance of winning!"
He's right. Why aren't you? You have some of your tails out, but that didn't mean that you're using your full power. So why...?
Bugze! Watch out!
Despite Selena's warning, you get a punch to the face while still in a daze. With a struggle with the few tails you have available against the Nightmare's remaining tails, you try to fight against the vice grip hold it has. However, even with your effort, you couldn't get away as the monster presses you against the wall.
"If we can't get you to go full power by yourself, then we'll just have to force you!" With that, his last eye turns green. "Gahahahaha! We learned this from Sombra!" And then it sends out tendrils of malicious green into your eyes as it holds your head still with its tails. "Nighty nighty~!"
And then nothing.
WITHIN YOUR DREAMS
What you see is horrific.
"You killed me."
Everything is just sheer black. Nothing else is there but you and your worst fear as you just stood there, staring in numbing shock. You couldn't say anything. You couldn't do anything. This is just...wrong! It can't be true!
"You killed me."
There, laying on the ground is Nightshade. Dying.
"I hate you."
You close your eyes! Trying all you might to deny what is in front of you! All you could hear then is your own deafening heartbeat and the voices that mock your very being. Monster. Killer. Noling would love you...
"Shut up!" you yell!
You can't help anyling. You can't save anyling. You're better off dead where you stand.
"I said shut up!" Your shouts silences the voices. All that's left is your guilty heart. Your guilty, guitly heart. You open your eyes.
Nightshade's dead eyes stares back. "I hate you, daddy."
You look down on your hooves. It's dripping red. "No..."
Yes.
"No. No. No!"
Yes!
The voices came back in full force, assaulting you in the cruelest of manners. "Nooooo!" Your yell only adds to the noise. That terrifying crowd of accusing whispers. That expanse of judgmental laughter, laughter from your larvahood. "No! Just stop! Stop it! Please!" Even your pleas don't make it cease, and only makes it louder. And louder. And louder.
You crawl into a fetal position, sobbing as you lose yourself. "Someling...help!"
It stops.
Replacing it is the sound of the TARDIS materializing. When you groggily look, the TARDIS is like a shining beacon in the dark. Gone is everything else, and the blue box is the only visible thing around. You just stare for moment, until the phone feature of the Tardis starts to ring. Slowly, but surely, you stand up and approach it.
You answer the phone. There is no noise from the other end, but you at least know that there is somepony there.
And you know what you need to say.
"Doctor, how do you deal with the guilt?" you rasp.
At first there is nothing, but then, when you think you've lost hope, a voice answers, "...You live with it." The Doctor says,
"Keep it close. Go everyday with it and never, ever forget. Live your life this way, and along the way, save every life, save every planet, save every universe and every multiverse you can to make up for it. No matter how much you beat your own body in the process." His tone turns somber.
"And by then...hopefully, just hopefully, it's enough to make up for even a fraction of what you've done."
"But how?!" you yell desperately to the phone.
"...Stop running away." You flinch. "And start running towards. Bugze, face that monster head on. Like you always do, you bullheaded idiot." Even despite the insult, the Doctor's voice is soothing.
"I-I can't! I just--!"
"But you can!" The phone blares. "I once remembered that you've vowed to become a protector, saving lives without a second thought. You have the power. You have the capability. So, what's keeping you?"
"...I'm scared."
Silence deafens the conversation.
"That's okay. It's okay to be scared." A pause. "Because fear is a superpower."
Thank Faust I've finally got you out of that terrible spell!Selena says. Now hurry! Befo-!
You yelp to the side as a certain Shadow lands cringingly beside you with a resounding splat. Groaning, Shadow struggles to stand back up as he continues to stare at the most pressing problem at the moment: The Nightmare. Judging by the amount of scratches the two have, a bit of time has pass.
"About time you woke up from your-" Shadow's eyes widen as the Nightmare's tail suddenly finds a way to grab his face "-nap!" He is thrown to the side, through some metal walls, and careens into a small squadron of Daleks.
The Nightmare looks gingerly at you, eager to fight.
"Well! Had a nice nap? We got you worked up, now didn't We?" The Nightmare frowns. "But we only got you to get out one more tail though..."
You growl at him as a new fourth tail swishes behind you angrily.
The Nightmare shrugs it off.
"Oh well, better than nothing," he says before making a megaton under swing with his tail that sends and speeds you out through a sliding door and crashing into a wide open space.
You grunt each time you bounce across the floor, finally skidding to stop thanks to your tails. However, you still lay prone on the floor. You appear to land in what seems to be a massive hanger for the ship as hundreds upon hundreds of Daleks go in and out into space. The way out into space is massive, like a missing wall of the Dalek ship. If it weren't for a translucent barrier that separates the hanger and the vacuum of space, everything would've been sucked out into the void. Strange thing is: Activity didn't cease when you came in. They seem to ignore you.
The Nightmare waltzes in, completely ignoring the Daleks in turn. He begins to rant,
"All our life we've never gotten a choice for ourself! But ever since we made our very first kill, we realized how much we could really change things..."
You take the chance to stand back up and regain your bearings.
"So we wanted vengeance against the forces that took our life away from us, all by ruining everything that they've worked for!" It grins madly. "And do you have any idea how exhilerating it was to make our own fate for once? Never before had we have felt so in control... You understand, don't you?"
You sigh, downcasted. Flag Burner, in the split second it took you to make the deadly execution.
"...Yeah."
"Then you also understand that it is what we wanted! To be God with his own Black Heaven!"
"Well, I don't!" you shout back. "I'm not like you! I'll save them instead!"
The Nightmare snorts in dismissal before it says,
"The filth below us are nothing more then lost lambs, sheep that'll abandon you for being different. They're too far lost to be saved. There's no future for them, not in this blackest of night."
"Then I'll burn a path so there WILL be a future!" You brought both of your hooves forward. "Woud you kindly burn!"
You let out a torrent of fire straight at the Nightmare. It smirks and just hops to the side. It is about to mock your pitiful flame, but then its eyes widen when it sees you smile. Your smile grows as your fire suddenly, and exponentially, expands, intensely burning brighter and brighter, damaging the Nightmare's cloak.
"Impossible..." the Nightmare mutters, "We can only reach that level of power when we achieve our eighth tail!"
"Well," you began as your burst your hooves into wild and intense flames, "I got a shortcut." If it wasn't for your Nobody Cloak, you would've severely burnt yourself in spite of not touching it.
"'The Flames of Destruction aren't enough on its own. The Winds of Change are needed to feed the flames.' Flag Burner taught me that."
You've finally gotten a hang of your Air Bending, enough so that your fire could pack an extra punch. Nightmare Air Bending, however, takes the cake. You surprise even yourself as your fire attack burns much of the floor black. Even the Nightmare seems to be slightly burnt despite its fire-resistant cloak.
"Oh? That terrorist guy? Heh, ironic how he somehow suddenly became a thorn in our side."
You don't listen. Instead, you decide to power up your flames into one big charge attack and jump into the air. "The lighter on my right! The WMD in my left! Combine them, and what do you get?" Fire swirls around as you bring both hooves together. They twist into the center, forming a massive ball of pure inferno. You throw it down. "Brilliant Flame of the Crimson Sun!"
The Nightmare grins as he prepares his own ball of destruction. Its tails wraps around each other into a sphere, and suddenly lets loose and expands as an intense void begins to form inside. Eventually, it rapidly expands to meet the size of your ball of flame.
"Nihilstic Void of the Black Hole!" the Nighmare half-shouts and half-laughs! It throws it, and when the two balls meet, everything bursts in a way fit for a Nova.
Neither of you waits for the sparks or dust to clear. Instead, the two of you clash right at the center of the prior explosion. You dance around, using your newly achieved technique and mastery of Air bending and fire to avoid and counterattack with flares at the same time. With fire-enhanced air bending as propulsion, the maneuvering is more than feasible.
"No Shadow Foxfire Kick!" You assualt the Nightmare with a blur of fiery kicks, and take pleasure in the hissing the Nightmare makes. However, it catches one of your legs with a tail and slams you down to the ground.
"Shadow Falcon Pu--!"
"God Ra Mu!"
Shadow is back, and he catches he Nightmare off guard just by a lesser number of syllables. You take the chance to press against your opponent as you shout, "Flaming Psycho Crusher!" and ram it out of the way. You bounce off of it and land next to Shadow. "About time you got back!"
"Hmph! Say's the day dreamer."
The two of you charge at the Nightmare. However the Nightmare just smirks as it yells,
"Surprise!"
The Nightmare teleports and gets the jump on you, punching you and sending you out of the hanger--out into space! When you exit the barrier that separates atmosphere and space, one thing catches your mind.
"Since when can I breath in space?!" you yell.
I've been in exile in the moon for a thousand years, Selena says. What do you think?
The Nightmare quickly grabs Shadow with Shadow Chains and then flings him along towards you, the two of you slamming and adding to the momentum as you both start to become lost in space. Suddenly, be it by sheer insanity or extreme confidence, the Nightmare launches itself out and bulldozes you both, thus making it worse for everyling involved!
You try to bring out air and fire, but nothing happens as you hold your Power Glove out. Stupified, confusion overtakes you for a split second before you force yourself into blocking claws with the Power Glove.
The Nightmare cackles. "How's the airlessness of Space going for ya?" it said before having to struggle against Shadow, who is now bursting with energy.
Suddenly, you have no choice but to join as its tail drags you along to use you as weapon against Shadow. Growling the Shadow grabs your Power Glove and proceeds to hammer the Nightmare with it.
It became a tumble party of Bugze's as one Bugze beats the other Bugze with...a Bugze.
Finally, a glint could be seen in the Nightmare's remaining eye as it looks to the side and grins. With its tails, it takes you, and then swings you like a baseball bat into Shadow and flings you along with him into a flying Dalek Ship. Now you aren't so stranded in space!
"Homerun!" the Nightmare shouts with glee.
"Bugze!" the Shadow hastily shouts. "Throw me!"
After a swift nod, you stretch one of your tails out, brace and pivot onto the Dalek ship you are standing on, and pitch him at the monster. Shadow proclaims, "Foxtail-Launch Beast Cannon!"
"Strike!" you cry back, "And you're out!" After you said that, you catapult yourself toward the two, pulling the same exact maneuver that the Nightmare has done.
Back on the original battle field, the main Dalek ship hanger, the three of you tumble back into battle, neither of you missing a beat as you resume fighting.
The Nightmare's charge and roar would've intimidated any normal being, but you are no normal changeling. The monster leaps in for the kill.
"Would you kindly chill?!" A slam to the floor, and a shockwave of ice surprises the Nightmare and causes it to bounce violently across the sharp icicles before righting itself through self-injury by the tails and pounce onto you, only for Shadow to bat the monster away with a swipe of 'Chidori'.
You blast the ice with a fireball, turning the field into a world of mist. With little hesitance, the Nightmare swipes its tails in wide arcs to clear the mist in an instant. Neither you or Shadow are in sight. The monster changeling feels the sense of danger, and it looks up.
There in the air, after teleporting both you and your partner, you both prepare for an all out attack. You and Shadow rain down fire and lightning on him, considerably damaging even the very floor into smithereens and bringing up smoke.
A roar. The Nightmare jumps out of the fray and up towards you two. You both send him back down as courtesy.
"Fus Ro Da!" "God Ro Ma!"
Then, you both land back down after the Nightmare, ready for more. What you aren't ready for is the fact that the Nightmare is already more ready to begin with. Another tackle. More of the same aching claws! Shadow tries to help, but the Nightmare knocks him to the side with a tail for his trouble. The two of you, tail against tail and hoof against hoof, lock into a dual of pure strength, with the Nightmare as the obvious victor through sheer will and insanity.
Fortunately for you, you know how to play dirty. The Power Glove, in front of both your faces, lights up in flame. You deeply inhale. The Nightmare's eye widens. It tries to throw you back, but you had already done the deed.
"Roar of the Flame Dragon!"
Even with the massive flame thrower to the face, the Nightmare responds with a body slam to the ground, canceling your attack as you lose air from your lungs.
"Would you kindly get the Buck off?!" Fitting, as you activate the Bucking Bronco plasmid trap. That's right. Trap. The Nightmare didn't prepare for the ensuing midair combat, but nonetheless it proceeds to try and pummel you without a second thought.
"SSSSSTAAAALIOOOOOOONGRAAAAD!" you began as you continue to spin upward. When you reach the height of your assent, you begin to spin in place as you tossed the Nightmare spinning above your head before grabbing him with one of your Nightmare Tails and pulling him in front of you. You then use your Nightmare Tails to help tuck his leg's under your front limbs and place your back hooves on the monster's arms so that your foe was looking straight down before you begin to spin towards the ground at incredible speeds while you yelled out, "BBBBBBBLLLLLLIIIIIIIZZZZZAAAAAAARRRDDDD!"
Unfortunately, the Nightmare was able to shoot out one of his tails which disrupted your move. While you still smashed down with enough force to break through to the levels below, you shattered your leg due to landing at an off angle.
BrownDog's Comment
You struggle to stand up, but the broken bones of your leg keep you from doing so. You look to the Nightmare and see him coughing up blood and wheezing and his eye twitches, when you hear Davros cackling,
“Even now, the monster falls under the weight of his own power, destroying what’s left of it’s body…”
You look and see your Nightmare with rage blazing in his remaining two eyes. but his wounds don't appear to be healing anymore. You attempt to charge at him with a Psycho Crusher, but your broken leg causes you to stumble allowing him to smack you away with a Nightmare Tail.
You lie on the ground, face down, gasping for breath, as you hear Davros monologue.
“Daleks will be superior this day…” Davros cackles.
The Nightmare still looks squarely at you however. “All right… Guess it's time to end this game...” it growls as it 's Nightmare Tails retract and start to wrap themselves around his right front limb as you struggle to get back up.
“Daleks are superior…” Davros says as the tails start to cause the Nightmare's arm to vibrate intensely as he declares,
“PUNCH!!!” the Nightmare roars as his claw shoots towards your downed formed, but before it connects, you manage to grab a potion as Shadow Bugze dives in front of you. The punch smashes through Shadow you and shatters the healing potion bottle causing its contents to splatter on you, but you still feel as though your chest has shattered and imploded along with everything inside of it.
Even as your vision begins to go black, you can feel time slow down and you suddenly feel like you are out of your body. You can practically see Shadow Bugze disintegrating from the Nightmare's blow as your sent smashing through the Dalek Mothership towards Equestria, the force of the blow causing a chain reaction which causes the nearby Dalek ships to start exploding one-by-one in slow-motion. You feel Selena desperately trying to keep you intact even though she herself seems on the verge of passing out. In this moment of frozen time you manage to ask,
"Shadow? Why?"
"Because... That filly needs her parents." With that the Shadow returns to the darkness from which he came as everything goes black...
Grey Rebl's Comment
IN YOUR MIND
"Grandbuggy?"
"Yes, kid?"
"Do Changelings go to heaven?"
"Heh," the old bug laughed. "That's a deep question. Not sure if even your ol' grandbug could answer that with a straight face."
You pout and grumbled while looking down,
"Well, do you think so? Or are we just so 'bad' that we can't?"
That made Grandbuggy drop his cheerful demeanor and frown. "Hey, where did you hear that?"
You just shrugged. "The other larva said that they heard from their parents about what ponies think about us. 'Changelings are monsters and should go to Tartarus', I think was what they said..."
"..." Grandbuggy sighed and stood up, staring distantly away. You blinked. Odd, this was the first time in forever since he seemed so...gloomy. "I'm not going to sugar coat; would've been bad in the long-run if I did. I admit: we changelings have done a lot of awful things just to survive." He then stared right back at you. "Especially to each other."
You flinched at the comment, but remained silent and listened.
Grandbuggy continued. "While there are those who had done nothing wrong, they never had done anything good either. Maybe some of us feel guilty for doing bad things, but hay, I don't think somelings ever atoned." He paused. "But it's never about species or race--I know. I think it's about circumstances. Where ponies are thriving and doing what they please, we dying changelings just don't have a choice.
"In short, it's not like Changelings couldn't go to heaven, but that fate wouldn't allow us."
"Then, doesn't that mean we're just being denied from Heaven?" you said. You look down, sad that your small existence may perhaps be a whole lot more meager than you first thought. "Are we just meant to be 'bad'?"
"No."
Surprised by the touch of Grandbuggy's hoof on your chin and lifting you head to face him, you can't help but feel awed by what you saw in Grandbuggy's eyes. You don't know what it was, but you understood the feeling it held.
This...this was your real Grandbuggy.
"No, not ever," Grandbuggy pressed sternly, staring down at you to drive the point home. "Yeah, maybe we can't change fate or our bad luck, but if fate is the wheel and we are the grit, then we can't change its course, but we will sure as hay pray that we would have the strength and resilience to break it."
The old bug stopped to look at the sparkle in your eye, the kind of wonder that's shown only through the pupils eyes of a changeling. He chuckled.
He then said,
""Instead of finding your way towards heaven, cut it down and make your own, one where everyling can be happy." He then gave you a sly smirk.
"And, if Luck is actually a Lady, then just treat her nice," The perverted coot said as he waggled his eyes.
"Grandbuggy!"
Grandbuggy laughed heartfully, long and coarse, until he finally stopped. "But...either way, that there would be the path of a hero." Grandbuggy then stood up straight and smiled down on you. "Do you wanna be a hero?"
You smiled. "I wanna be a hero!"
Needless to say, you never quite knew what he meant when he said 'hero'. That's probably the reason why you dove head first into video games, becoming the 'heroes' of those virtual worlds, lost in concept of the meaning of heroism. It became you own slice of heaven, the World God Only Knows...
In your last moment of unconsciousness, suddenly, you saw a filly. "Mommy and Daddy are my heroes!" she says with a smile. Then, with a flash of white, she is gone.
BACK IN THE REAL WORLD
The sensation of killing intent jerks you back awake. You could hear it. The Nightmare. It's growling, snarling, and yells of glee and insanity. It's still alive and kicking, and it wants more. More! After everything that you've been through, it still wants more!
Your eyes shoot open, and you find yourself still freefalling. Your body has mostly healed (at least 90%) and you look up to what looks like a light show, but upon using "Zoom" to get a better look, you see it is the sky burning with the explosion of Dalek Ships and everything seem to rain down like a meteor shower. In the middle you see the Nightmare descending back down to the planet with an insane grin on its face.
Has the world really ended? Is this how the world ends? A sad soundscape of the crying misery of ponies, griffons, donkeys, changelings and dragons alike? Are you supposed to be okay with that?
As you fall back to Equis, you can't help but suddenly say, "Nightshade would've been sad if she saw this world, huh, Selena...?"
She would. Selena is awfully subdued. Why?
"I wanna make her happy. I wanna build a place for her. Where she, you and I could just..."
She finishes for you,
Be happy. Yes, yes you do! Is she...sobbing? Did she see your flash back just now?
You're about to respond when you hear a familiar sound. You turn to see the TARDIS appearing before you and the Doctor rushes out, grabs your hoof and pulls you inside.
"Bugze! There you are! We have to get out of here!"
"What?"
"The TARDIS is fixed so we can leave."
"But what about this world!' you protest.
"Forget it Bugze, this world is dead." the Doctor says. "We have to look to the past. With any luck, he only has a short amount of time left to..."
"ONLY A SMALL AMOUNT OF TIME?!" you roar, "DID YOU EVEN SEE WHAT IT DID WITH ONE BUCKING NIGHT!!! AFTER ALL HE'S DONE, HE NEEDS TO PAY IN THE PRESENT! WE NEED TO STOP HIM NOW!"
Shadow is right. Roles do change. It's that, this time, you're done being the hero-turned-villain. It's about time that you're going to be something else.
The Doctor is about to protest when his eyes land on your Power Glove and you see a lightbulb going off in his head,
"Wait a moment... Considering the TARDIS can travel in at least 4 dimensions, the time dimension could produce a 'chrono boom' if we're at a high enough velocity and the iconic storms we pass through could hyper-ionize the polar charges of-"
A barrier of black surrounds the Nightmare as it free falls back into total destruction. He grins as he looks at the burning Dalek ship debries around him. When his eyes land on the planet, he smirks insanely,
"There you are our big blue ball of future-death? Now where were we..."
It's body vibrates, thrumming with power, every last ounce of it in fact! It won't die. Not until it gets to kill the very last thing worth killing. From the height and speed it is at, and power of its "Infinite Mass" technique, Equis may as well shatter before its might. But first... Wait. No. No way! It saw the impossible.
From above the Nightmare and coming down from--no, rocketing towards Equis is the very bug the monster is after. Intense fire roars from behind you, like a rocket pushing you at world-exiting speeds.
You are flying.
In truth, you aren't really flying. It simply looks like it. In actuality, you are riding the TARDIS as you warm up your one big attack.
"Well well WELL!", the Nightmare grins with an insane spark in its eyes, "LOOK WHO'S BACK FOR SECONDS!!!"
The Tardis door is open as two of your Nightmare Tails latch on to them in sling shot mode, before you jump down stretching far back into the ship. The Nightmare follows the tails and sees the familiar orange-maned changeling in a black hooded long cloak with one Nightmare tail on the ground holding the tension with the rest wrapped around his Power Glove in "Mix-Up Smash" mode, the dials on "Winter Blast!" and "Electro Bolt!".
"Bugze! When I give the signal, give it all you got!" the Doctor yells towards you from the controls as the TARDIS zooms through space towards the Nightmare. Back to the Nightmare, it insanely says,
"Well it would be rude to keep them waiting after they've gone through all this trouble! You ready?" with that he changes course and uses its Nightmare Tails to rocket towards the TARDIS while yelling, "HERE COME THE PAIN!!!"
As the Nightmare rockets towards you, the Doctor sees this on the monitor and yells,
"GERONIMO!"
"ALLONS-Y BUGZE!" Derpy repeats.
"Would you kindly END THIS!" you declare as you slingshot yourself forward. As you are pulled through the halls of the TARDIS, the ice on your Power Glove starts to get intensely dense, the lightning beneath it shines an intense purple, and you shoot out of the TARDIS at extreme speeds as it phases out behind you.
As the two forces rocket towards their final impact, time seems to slow down. The Nightmare keeps the insane anticipating smile on it's face as your eyes are burrowed in determination. You draw your Power Glove hoof back as it crackles with intense super-ionized lightning under a shell of ice so dense and tough that it makes diamonds seem like wet paper.
"Pierce the Heavens..." Black flame. It appears as such as it plumes out of your hooves in massive quantities, but the lightning element takes effect and, instead of a flowing river of fire, it became a jag of vibrant energy. And when you pour in Nightmare-enhanced air bending to it...
"Getsuga--" It violently erupts and tears the air behind you into nothing! "Tensho!"
A mad grin plasters itself into the Nightmare's face. Everything has gone so crazy, and the monster feels the exhilaration of it all! The Nightmare draws his hoof back in kind with a roar as you declare,
"ULTIMATE FALCON MISSILE!!!"
Like a sword, you swing at the sky. Like lightning going up, a seething pressure of energy soars up into the sky, into the heavens, into space! It kisses the very tip of the Nightmare's hoof and everything goes black.
The blackest of swords, cuts away the blackest of heavens...
Your hoof smashes through and obliterates the Nightmare's limb before slamming into his face. The sheer force of the attack shatters the diamond-like ice in a sonic boom as your hoof embeds itself into the Nightmare's imploding face and the momentum causes you both to zoom towards Equestria at intense speed. The velocity of your strike is so great that you both smash through and obliterate large pieces of burning Dalek warships as the hyper-ionized lightning violently electrocutes the Nightmare throughout your flight.
-----
If anypony would look at the sky, the would see two shooting stars, as black as the night, falling along with a meteor shower's worth of others. If anyone listens, they would hear the tremble of the those two particular stars landing. If they are the Doctor, Cadence, or Derpy, then they would understand what this means.
"Doctor?"
"Huh?"
"Is it over?"
"...Yes," he says. "It is. It's finally over."
-----
You wake back up. Honestly, you should start checking for head damage at this point, considering the number of times you've been unconscious. By the sound of movement, battle instincts flares, so in spite of your serious injuries, you jump and turn to the noise. What you see makes you gasp.
The Nightmare is a wreck. It's cloak, no, his cloak is falling out. The seemingly indomitable shadow barrier of his begins to crack and fall apart, and what's more, the changeling's eyes turns into a softer hue of red. This changeling is the same changeling that you saw on screen in the Doctor's TARDIS before Tartarus happen. But now it's body is nothing but scarred flesh. You can see cuts, gashes, bruises, and stab wounds all over him. He looks like his life force was sucked out of him too, as he is nothing but wrinkles with pruning skin covering his body.
He tugs at the collar that Pinkemena gave to him. "Of course, the collar..." He almost look...normal.
But that's not the biggest part...
"Y-your starving...!" you blurt out.
The other you shakes his head. "Of course I'm starving. Am I really that daft? In a world with no more love, I was destined to die from the start." The saneness in the changling's voice is a major relief to you, but you have to ask,
"So...what now?"
"...Now?" The changling repeats, but then it falls over, collapsing on his left hoof, the very hoof that Pinkie severely damage, back when she was still alive.
"Ugh!" He then coughs violently.
You can't help but feel pity for him, but after fighting to the death with the death-torn psychopath, you aren't too inclined to help.
"I-I," the changling tries, "I want to confess."
"Confess what?" you ask.
"...I" he hesitates. "I--!"
Out of irritation, which is rapidly depleting by the minute, and albeit hoarsely, you growl, "Spit it out!"
"I killed Nightshade..." he declares, softly bursting into sobs. "I killed everyone. Noling deserved it..." Every word is devoid of life, but the weight is still there. "I knew that Nightshade didn't want me to turn out like this, but what did I do? What did I do in memory of her?" You look down. The answer is obvious. The worst of his sobs begins to pass, but then he whimpers,
"How can I ever face Nightshade like this?"
You don't answer. After all, even you can't know the answer. He's you, so if he can't, then you can't either, right? The two of you look away from each other.
You turn back to face him. "I'll never be okay with this. Neither should you." That outburst causes the other your to look back in confusion. "Face your demons head on. Stop running away."
"Easier said then done..."
"Then stop whining about Lady Luck for once and start doing something about it!" you cry out. "And start with yourself!" When you stare at him in the eyes as you say that, you can't help but feel as though you meant that for yourself. "I'm tired of whining! I'm tired of running away!
"I wanna be happy with what I do!"
The other changeling sighs. "It's too late for that."
You cringe, but you cease you needless ranting anyways, deciding to take in the scenery and wait. You still don't know what came over you when you rant it out like that, but you feel that it is something that needs to be said. Anyways, where is the Doc?
You notice something. For some reason, the world seems to be becoming a whole lot brighter. You turn to look at the horizon, and gasp as you see one of the most beautiful things, all things considering. There, the beginning of dawn! The rays of sunlight reaches the landscape,
The sun is rising. Without Luna or Celestia to rise it!
"Hey."
You look back at your other self, confused. Suddenly, you hastily catch something the dying changling throws without warning. When you look, you realized it is the inventory! This universe's!
"W-wha?" you sputter.
"Give this to Nightshade." The other you smiles sadly. "She deserves her own adventure, too."
You stare at him for a moment, but finally nod. The surge of determination at the mention of Nightshade makes you stand up straight and resolutely. "Okay."
"Good." The changeling shudders and gives out a long, suffering sigh. He's reaching the very last of his life reserves. "Good," he repeats, and then lays down, submitting to death. At first, he is going to close his eyes, but then he sharply inhales. "Do you think I should be forgiven?" he asks suddenly.
You jump at the sudden declaration, but you sigh and stare sadly at him. "I don't know." You look away. "I don't think I'll ever know." And that is it. Slowly, the dying changeling loses its glow, its shell becoming greyer and greyer. The sun finally lifts to shine on the very lands you reside.
"But I know someling who would do so regardless." You lift out a Luna Plushie. Your Luna Plushie. "Sleep."
In dreamland, there standing the grass is Nightshade. Your other you enters the same dreamscape and hugs her tightly. Nothing is said between them as they smile.
You give a sad smile at the changelings prone body as you say,
"May you finally have peace. No more running or killing, now it's just you and your daughter....forever"
As you turn away from the Changeling you can't help but think,
This is it...the Nightmare has passed.
You look around the landscape the sun shines upon, and see that it is still destroyed. The Dalek ships rain from the sky, as do their bodies, and everything is either rubble or fire.
"If only it had been sooner..." you sigh.
You look off in the distance and see signs of life, and it's coming closer to you. You focus on the figure and see that it's Cadance. You give a sigh of relief that she made it out okay. When she starts to get closer you call out,
"Hey Cadence...looks like it's finally ov-urk!"
You stop mid sentence as blood flies out of your mouth as you feel a hot burning pain run through your body. You look down at your chest, the source of your burning, to see a hilt of a sword sticking out of it. You turn your head around slightly to see an Orichalcum blade sticking out of your back with fresh changeling blood dripping from it. You look at Cadence, who you now see has strands of hair in her eyes and she looks insane. You start to lose your vision as you collapse to your side. You look at Cadence with tears in your eyes as you ask,
"Ca...Cadence? Why?"
Cadence just stares at you as she says,
"Now...now it's finally over. The Nightmare is over."
As you feel your own blood pooling out of you, you can't help but say,
"Buck....you...lady...luck."
And with that you fall into darkness, with the last words you hear being,
The scarred, bruised and battered Princess of Love looks over your dying body, panting as the destroyed world burns all around her.
“I..I’ve finally done it. Shiny, Twilight, Aunties…I’ve ended it,” she says aloud.
She suddenly gets a look in her eye of shock.
“B-but did I do the right thing?” she asks aloud.
Her eye twitches as she answers back.
“Of course you did, he was the same!”
“But he helped us. He was from another world,” she argues back.
“He would’ve become HIM in that world, and everypony would’ve died AGAIN!” she shouts back to herself.
“But he was a friend!”
“HE COULDN’T BE TRUSTED!”
“What if he could have?!” Cadance cries out.
“He couldn’t!” she cries back.
“I DON’T KNOW THAT!” yells as she breaks down and weeps.
“I don’t know that…” she whispers, but she is suddenly surprised when your eyes open, glowing brightly with magic.
“What?!” she says taken aback.
Your mouth then moves, but it’s not your voice that comes out.
“I WILL NOT LET YOU DIE! NEVER!!!” says the feminine voice.
Suddenly your tails materialize, and Cadance backs up, taking the sword out of you in the process, making your wound bleed freely. The tails however do not attack her, rather they encase you in a shadow like cocoon which begins to radiate immense power.
“Stay with me Bugze! You’re going to make it! PLEASE STAY WITH ME!” shouts the voice again as the wound’s bleeding slows.
Far away, you hear Selena’s call, and though it’s hard, you focus on it. When you do, you blearily see through your own eyes and gasp weakly. Cadance can only look on in shock again.
“I was right, he is going to turn into the Nightmare!” she says deranged, as the two opposing sides of her psyche agree. You can’t say a thing as much pain as you’re in, but you cling onto consciousness and life as Selena shouts for you.
“Yes that’s it! THAT’S IT! Stay with me!” she yells with your mouth.
You try to do as she says, but the sensation to sleep is so strong.
“It’s going to happen all over again…” says the disheveled Princess as she raises the blade again.
You hear a sound. That glorious wheezing sound. Why does it make you feel happy? You’re not quite sure.
“You hear that?! The Doctor is coming! He can save you! Just hold on!” shouts Selena.
“No! No No, NO! I won’t let you live!” shouts Cadance as she rushes forth and swings the blade at the cocoon surrounding you. The blade strikes the cocoon, but it holds it back from your body.
“AAAAAHHHHH!!!!” shouts Selena in pain, but still the Blade holds in place, even as it burns the shadows around it.
“Impossible…this is an Orichaclum Sword! It can’t be stopped!” shouts Cadance.
You watch all of this, almost like a distant observer within your own body.
“YOU…CAN’T…HAVE HIM!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!” Selena cries in pain and strain as an exponential amount of energy is unleashed. You feel your wound stop bleeding momentarily as the blade breaks into several pieces.
“Such…power…” Cadance whispers before she is launched backwards.
The dark energy being released begins to dissipate as Selena’s voice begins to fade. The unconscious darkness tries to claim you again as you begin to bleed anew. Through your haze you see shade of brown and blue. And you hear distant voices, fading in and out.
“Quickly Ditzy get…DIS. We migh…save him…ust can’t leave…bring her…”
You feel your body move, but you aren’t the one moving it. As your view dips in and out, you hear Selena’s voice. It’s frail and weak and barely a whimper.
“Bugze…Live…Please…For Nightshade…For Me…Live…” she says as her voice fades. You try to answer, but all you get out is
“I…” with your limited breath.
The Darkness begins to take your vision once again, but before it does, you see a blue light and a distant humming.
Sometime later, you’re not sure how long. It could have been minutes, or a lifetime for all you know. All you know is that the Darkness leaves your vision You lie flat on your back, looking up at the ceiling of the TARDIS. There is a drip line running into your arm, along with a blood pack. You try to sit up, but your chest and lower abdomen feel sore, and you groan.
“Bugze! You’re awake!” cries the voice of the Doctor as he rushes towards your bedside.
“Doc…I’m…” you croak out.
“Here, don’t speak too much, you’re still severely weakened,” he warns before turning around. “Ditzy, bring a glass of water and orange juice!” She nods her head and rushes off.
“Doc…I was stabbed…”
“Yes, I know. But you’re still with us…” he says with a smile.
Derpy comes back with the water and OJ, and the Doctor lifts your head enough to drink it.
“Come on, easy does it. The water’s to hydrate you, the OJ is to help with the blood loss…” the Doctor tells you.
After downing both, you still feel weak and sore, but you sit up anyway. You look down around you and see you are in a very big bed, and there are bandages across your lower body. You go to touch them, but the Doctor pulls your hoof back.
“Careful now, we don’t want to risk opening that, not after all the trouble we took closing you up” The Doctor warns.
“Okay…wait…” your thoughts start to clear. “I was stabbed by an Orichalcum blade!” you shout out loud.
“Yes, yes you were,” the Doctor says as he rests his hoof on your shoulder.
"The blade pierced clean through you, no vitals were hit, but you lost a lot of blood. I was able to close your wounds before it was too late…but sadly, the scar upon your chest will never go away…” the Doctor says.
You rub the scar below your eye, “Just like my eye…” you mutter.
“Indeed. Even still, we only succeeded because of the courage and sacrifice of somepony close to you…” the Doctor says with sadness.
“Sacrifice?” you ask aloud, as two words spark from your memory.
“Bugze…Live…”
“OH NO! Selena!” you cry aloud as you immediately close your eyes and concentrate, even as The Doctor shouts, “Bugze, Wait!”
You ignore his pleas and enter your mindscape…and it looks empty.
You start calling out, “Selena! Selena where are you?!” but you hear no response.
You gallop around looking for her, but all you see is emptiness.
“No, No NO!” you cry out, before the Doctor’s voice suddenly comes from within your mind.
“Concentrate Bugze. Focus on nothing but her. Think of her without fear or panic in your heart…” he says.
You do as he says, and begin doing a breathing exercise Grandbuggy taught you to help fall asleep faster. After you do so, you look behind you and see her lying on the floor with her eyes closed.
You kneel down next to her, fearing the worst, but as you place your hoof on her chest, you can feel that she is still breathing.
“Oh thank goodness…” you sigh in relief.
“Selly, come on, wake up…” you say as you jostle her. But still her eyes remain closed.
“Doc…what’s happened to her?” you say aloud, and the Doctor’s voice comes from behind you.
You turn around and see him looking at you. You don’t question how he got there, he’s the Doctor after all.
“She expended nearly all of her power to keep you alive,” the Doctor explains.
You turn back to her weakened form.
“She kept you alive long enough for Ditzy and I to get there. Stopping the effects of Orichalcum, even for a moment takes a lot of energy,” he says.
You hold her hoof, “But why won’t she wake up?” you ask.
The Doctor looks away and sighs,
“The closest I can guess is that she’s in a coma, or as close to one as a disembodied soul can be in.”
“A coma?” you say in shock.
“She not only stopped your bleeding Bugze, she shattered an Orichaclum blade to protect you. That in itself is something Four Alicorns combined would have difficulty doing, but she did it anyway…and this is the result” he explains.
A tear slips out of your eye.
“Will she wake up?” you ask.
“…It’s hard to tell. Magic is fickle, and relies upon life force. She’s come back from the brink before after being hit with the Elements of Harmony, thanks in no small part to you hosting her, so she does have a chance…but there’s no way to be certain.”
You look upon her as she lies helpless on the empty floor.
“Isn’t there something I can do Doc? I mean, she’s just lying there…” you say sadly.
“All you can do is make sure she is comfortable and safe. Beyond that, only time will tell.”
You nod and conjure up a comfy looking bed underneath her and tuck her in.
You stroke her now non-flowing mane as she breathes weakly.
“I’m sorry...I’ll make this right…I swear…Thank you…” you say with tears in your eyes.
The Doctor places a hoof on your shoulder. You exit the dreamscape and see that he is still holding your shoulder in the real world, and Derpy is hugging you.
“She’ll wake. I have to believe that,” you say to the Doctor and Derpy.
“Of course she will, she’s a fighter,” says Derpy.
The Doctor nods before saying,
“Yes she is, but I’d avoid using your powers until she does. She is the source of them, and right now she needs all the magic she can get.”
The Doctor’s words make you realize that if you use your Nightmare powers, Selena might…
You shake your head from these thoughts. You don’t really feel like fighting for a long time anyway. Not after what you just went through and what it cost.
“I still can’t believe Cadance stabbed me…” you lament. “But as long as everything’s fixed then I guess she never actually…” your speech is cut short when you look around and see that not too far away, strapped to another bed with a magic cancelling ring on her horn is Cadance. Your eyes bug out as you remember the deranged look in her eyes. You try to shift further away from her, but the Doctor holds you still.
“What is she doing here?!” you shout.
“Bugze calm down!” The Doctor orders.
“Calm down? CALM DOWN?! She’s the one who stabbed me! It’s her fault that Selena is in a coma!” you shout. That realization hits you harder now that you can think clearly.
“Cadance…she stabbed me. Why? Why did she do that?” you ask the Doctor.
The Doctor’s face turns solemn at this as he says,
“She wasn’t in her right mind Bugze, you can’t blame her entirely.”
“But we helped her! We set everything right!” you say.
“Bugze,” Derpy says as she places a hoof on your shoulder. “She witnessed everyone she’s ever loved murdered by someone who looks just like you. Seeing more than one Nightmare Cloaked changeling drove her over the edge…” Derpy says sadly.
You look over at the unconscious Princess.
“But…we saved the day…didn’t we?” you ask.
The Doctor and Derpy look down in sadness before another thought hits you.
“Wait! Why is she even here? Weren’t we going to stop past me from becoming the Nightmare! Shouldn’t she be normal!” you cry out.
The Doctor closes his eyes.
“Doc?” you ask, afraid of the answer.
He opens his eyes and stares at you.
“Bugze…I couldn’t leave her there. I just couldn’t.”
“But-“
“She was quite literally the only living thing left in all of Equis, I wasn’t about to leave her there in solitude!” he laments.
“But, what about going back and…” you start before noticing the Doctor closing his eyes and wincing.
“You didn’t go back did you?” you say in realization.
The Doctor just shakes his head no.
“W-w-why the Buck not?!” you cry out.
He sighs,
“By the time we closed your wounds and stabilized you it was too late. With the Nightmare’s death, his rage and hatred were gone. The Universal boundaries began to solidify once more…” he laments.
“But we promised them Doctor! We promised them we would fix everything! They trusted us! We have to go back!” you shout out in anger.
“It’s too late Bugze. That reality is sealed from us…I had no choice.”
You can’t believe it. After all that’s happened. It didn’t matter. Your anger builds up.
“So we did it all for nothing?! I stopped my other self, Selena’s in a coma, and the world still burns?!” you cry out getting off your bed.
“I tried, don’t you think I…” he begins, but you cut him off.
“Oh Blah Blah Blah! You tried? Well guess what Doc, you still failed! That world still bucking burning!” you shout out as all your guilt comes pouring out, lashing at the Doctor.
“Bugze, please calm down or you’ll,” Derpy begins.
“Shut up Derpy!” you shout, causing her to recoil and tears begin to form in her eyes.
The Doctor’s face immediately turns angry.
“OI! You don’t snap at her!” he yells as he steps between the two of you.
“You’re right, maybe I should snap you you bucking failure!” you cry out as you shove the Doctor backwards.
“Bugze!” Derpy shouts.
“Why didn’t you save them?! Why didn’t you stop this!” you yell as tears spill out.
“I did stop this! I did! I stopped you from becoming him.” he yells back but you see the sadness in his face.
“You think I wanted that? I didn't do that! All that death, all that destruction, that, that wasn't me!”
“And it will never be you Bugze! It won’t! I failed that other world, but it’s because I had to save you. Everything I’ve ever done is to protect you!”
“Oh great job with that Doc, dragging me out of my peaceful existence in Appleloosa and making me stay in a town populated by my enemies where I constantly had to hide and lie while caring for my big eater daughter who still managed to get in more danger than she ever did back home! Trying to protect me? Who are you kidding? You can't protect anyling! You sure as buck couldn't protect that world! Like I said, GREAT job!” you lament all your anger and frustration.
“Bugze, you don’t mean that, you’re just taking your frustrations out on the Doctor!”
“So what if I am? It’s all I’m good for right?!” you yell as your eyes glow orange.
“Bugze, STOP! Selena might get hurt!” The Doctor shouts.
You look in a nearby mirror and see your eyes glowing. You immediately power them down and fall to the ground, covering them as you cry. After a few moments of wailing, you start to get yourself under control. But the anguish is still there.
The Doctor and Derpy stand around you as you quietly speak between sobs.
“I idolized you… I was a big fan of you since I was a hatchling. I thought you were this cool fun hero who can save the world with a joke and a wave of your sonic screwdriver.” you shake your head and look up to the Doctor with your wet eyes.
“But you keep secrets…you lie…and you don’t save everyling…” you mutter.
The Doctor kneels in front of you with a sad look.
“I never claimed to be perfect Bugze, and I’m not. And no…I can’t save everypony, but I can save some” he says with a glance at Cadance.
He puts his hoof on your shoulder once more and you don’t shrug it off.
“And you’re right. I did fail that world. And I will never, NEVER forget the creatures I let die. By the time I finished stabilizing you, the walls of reality were nearly mended. There was only so much time. We’re all faced with hard decisions, myself more than others…but I made the choice to save you Bugze. So please…please let me keep saving you…”
You sniffle and look him in the eye.
“Okay…”
He smiles and pulls you up before giving a pat on the back. You look to Derpy and hug her too.
“I’m sorry for snapping at you guys…” you mutter.
“It’s okay” they answer.
After parting from their embrace, you look over to what started the argument.
“What’s going to happen to her Doctor?”
He walks over to the prone Alicorn.
“She is going to get what many don’t get, a second chance in life,” he says.
“But, we already have a Cadance in our world. How the heck are we going to have two Cadances, especially when this one might still want me dead?”
“If all goes according to plan, this one won’t even remember you, or the other world” the Doctor explains.
“Huh?” you ask.
“She can forget about all the horrible things she’s witnessed and done. It will be my gift to her. A new life, a new identity.”
“But won’t ponies kind of notice another Alicorn like her running around?” Derpy asks.
The Doctor smiles. “I’m sure old Jack can help with that.”
“You’re going to leave her with Torchwood?” you ask.
“They’ll have the resources to help her. She may be someone else after it’s all said and done…but she’ll still be alive.
“B-but it won’t be her. Not exactly” you say.
The Doctor sighs,
“I know, but I can’t live with the alternative.”
You look at Cadance and can’t help but rub your hoof over your bandages. You know she deserves a chance after all that happened to her, but you know you don’t want to be around her again if you can avoid it.
“Anyway, there’s still so much for me to do. But let’s get you home” he says aloud.
You groan as you realize you’ll have to go back to Ponyville where they think BST is dead.
“Oh don’t fret Bugze, I meant home home.” the Doctor says.
You look at him in surprise as the TARDIS lands. You immediately run out the door and see a glorious site.
“Appleloosa,” you say in happiness.
You are on a hill overlooking it. In the south are the Apple Orchards. The Town Proper is busy, and you can even see your house. You smile happily, before an image flashes in your mind. You see the whole town on fire and destroyed with bodies everywhere. Your breath hitches and you close your eyes, shake your head and open them again. The town is fine. Everything is fine.
You begin breathing in and out erratically as you tell yourself that.
“It’s fine…It’s fine…” you breathe.
“It is fine Bugze,” you whirl around at the Doctor’s voice and see him standing in the doorway of the TARDIS, “It won’t ever become that,” he says.
“I-I know, but…” you trail off trying to shake the images from your mind.
“You’re still traumatized Bugze. But believe me when I say, Appleloosa will never come to that.”
“That’s good to know,” you murmur as the Doctor nods. “In fact, it’s great to know…” you trail off and the Doctor loses his smile.
“There’s other things I want to know Doctor. No more secrets. I want you to tell me the truth about everything.”
“I…well. Bugze, you are no longer in my debt. There’s no need. It was a false debt anyway,” he bumbles.
“Yeah, but there’s still more about me that you’re not telling,” you accuse.
“I well…”
“Doc, after everything we’ve gone through, you owe me. Please, tell me!” you beg.
He closes his eyes and sighs.
“Bugze, I promise you, no I Pinkie Promise you that I will tell you everything you want to know,” he says as he goes through the motions.
He then opens his eyes and says with sad eyes, “But now is not the time for that.”
He then slams the TARDIS doors as it begins to whir.
“NO!” you cry as you rush forth and start slamming on the door.
“Doctor, you can’t do this! DOCTOR!” you yell.
From the other side of the fading door, you hear his muffled voice.
“I’m sorry Bugze, I’m so so sorry. But I can’t tell you at this time! Please, just go and live in peace for now” he yells.
“Why can’t you tell me?! WHY NOT?!” you yell back with a strike to the door.
“Because it’s still too dangerous for you to know the whole truth! I made a promise to your Grandfather, and I intend to keep it!” he yells.
“What?...” you say in shock as the TARDIS fully disappears.
You stand there for a good five minutes processing what the Doctor said.
“Grandbuggy? What did he promise you?”
After another few minutes, you realize the Doctor isn’t coming back, and you sigh in frustration, as you have even more questions.
“You are going to answer me one day Doctor…one day…” you mutter bitterly as you look back down on your old home.
You shrug and start to take a step towards it, when you are hit by the image of the devastation and you stop. You hyperventilate again, but you eventually get it under control. You want to go down there, you want to go home and see all your old friends that accepted you as a changeling. To see Braeburn, Little Strongheart, Old Man Muffin, and the rest. To live the rest of your days in peace. But you know that you can’t. You can’t just run away from your problems. That’s what the other you did, and that only caused death and misery. You know you’ll never become him, but you decide not to tempt fate.
You can’t go back to Appleloosa. There’s still evil in this world. The Crimson Knights are still running around trying to spread Flag Burner’s dark gospel. Until they are stopped, the death and devastation of the Nightmare can still occur, even if it’s not you doing it. They will still look for you, and will hurt anyling that gets in their way. Until you bring them all to justice, you can’t call anywhere your home, less it be destroyed. Your chest still hurts, and you feel tired, but you know that if you go down there, you won’t want to leave. You close your eyes and sigh.
“Goodbye Appleloosa…”
Before you turn around and head North with no clear destination in mind. You don’t look back until the hill blocks your view from the town. You can almost believe that it’s just another hill. Almost.
You walk towards where desert shrubs meet forest growth and sit down beside a pond for a drink.
As you do, you suddenly hear a loud yawn as your inventory opens.
“Yaaahhhh…Hey daddy, what’s-whoa!” Nightshade cries as you pull her out and begin hugging her tightly.
“Oh My Sweet Sweet Baby! I’ve missed you so much!” you cry as you hold her close.
She hugs you back.
“Well jeez Daddy, I was only out for like three days. I know I haven’t slept that long in awhile, but still…” she says.
You open your eyes. Three days. Three days since she was kidnapped by your old hive mates. Three days since you saved Spike and got picked up by the Doctor and witnessed a world burning.
“Dear Luna…has it only been three days?” you ask.
“Well that’s what my clock says, so what was making my tummy hurt? Did the doctor’s know?” she asks.
“Wait, you don’t remember?”
“Remember what? The trip to the hospital?” she asks.
She has no idea… you think to yourself.
“No…never mind. Yeah you’re ok, you just ate something bad. I’m just glad you’re OK.”
You then set her down.
“So where are we? Where’s Ponyville? Where’s my friends?” she asks before seeing your bandages.
“Daddy, you’re hurt!” she cries out.
“Oh don’t worry honey, it’s nothing,” you lie.
She looks at your bandages then at the surrounding wilderness. She puts two and two together and sighs.
“We’re on the run again aren’t we?” she asks.
You sigh,
“We’re always on the run Nightshade…”
She looks down sadly,
“Will we ever be able to go back to Ponyville and see my friends?” she asks.
You hug her again. “I don’t know honey, we’re going to be travelling for awhile. But who knows what the future holds…”
You feel a tear fall on your chest from her.
“Hey honey, why don’t you go get a drink and daddy will make you something to eat?”
“Okay…” she says unenthusiastically.
You begin getting out a pot to boil some water in, when Nightshade turns back around.
“Oh and Daddy, where’s Mommy at?” she asks causing your body to stiffen.
“She kept me company while I was asleep, but then she left and I can’t really feel her anymore,” she says.
You look at your daughter and think about coming up with a lie, but you can’t. She has to know the truth…or at least half of it.
“Your mother is…she’s sick Nightshade.”
“Sick? What with like a tummy ache?” she asks.
“No, it’s a little more than that. She’s really tired and needs to sleep until she’s better.”
“Oh if she’s asleep then I’ll just visit her tonight,” she says.
“No, baby, you can’t do that,”
“Why not?”
“Because her sleep needs to be undisturbed. She could get worse if we don’t keep her safe…” you say with a hint of sadness.
Nightshade picks up on your voice cues. “Oh…well you’re going to help her get better right daddy?” she asks.
“Of course I am Nightshade. I am going to help her,” you tell her, and you mean it. You don’t know how, but you are going to save her. You are not going to let Selena die.
Nightshade smiles at your conviction.
“Okay then.”
You then make her a quick lunch while you nibble on some cereal and draw on some paper with Nightshade’s crayons. Nightshade tells you about the dreams she had while she was out.
“And then, I saw these two changelings, and the one in the hat looked like you if you were a lot older, and he talked about heroes. I then told them you and Mommy were mine”
You smile at that as you continue to draw,
“Thanks honey…”
She looks at the paper you are drawing on before she asks in confusion,
“Daddy, why have you drawn a shadowy Changeling with orange hair and yellow eyes, a Cadance who seems to be... insane, a Pinkie that is giving me the chills, you with your Nightmare-tails standing above Celestia, Luna and Discord... And some other faces I don't remember, with the words: 'Do Not Forget' written across it?"
You look down at her and tousle her hair.
"Don't worry about it, it's just a picture", you say with tears at the corner of your eyes, "...just a picture, nothing important."
She just shrugs and asks,
“Can I go swimming real quick before we head on?”
“Yeah, go ahead baby…”
“Yehaw!” she yells as she cannonballs into the water.
You look at your daughter’s happiness and think about all those that were lost so that you could have this moment. Your tears become prominent as you remember them.
Shadow, I will never forget you... Pinkamena, you were one of the bravest, and most badass, ponies I have ever met. Cadance, you couldn't stand to see all the pain, and became blinded because of it... you deserved better than that... I hope you can be happy in your new life. Celestia, Luna... Thank you for what you did… what you had to do. It... the tears flow more freely at this point, but you continue, It was an honor meeting all you. Thank you for helping me take down the monster I had become... for making me see what I should never become…
As you cry even more, you decide something: You will make a wall for them, or write them all down in a book or on a stone, but whatever you do... You will never forget them.
You quickly wipe your tears away as you call out to your daughter.
“Come along Nightshade, let’s find a better camping spot than this.”
She rushes out of the water and jumps on your back, soaking you a little.
“So, where are we headed Daddy?”
“Oh, nowhere special…”
“Nowhere special…I always wanted to go there,” she says with a grin.
“That’s my girl…” you say with a smile.
You walk with your little girl on your back into the sunset. Your quest is far from over. You still have to save Selena, you still have to stop the Crimson Knights, you still have to figure out the Doctor’s Secrets, and you still have to live the life of a wanted changeling. But for now, you are content, you are alive, and you are not a monster.
The Nightmare is Gone.
Far Far North in the Equestrian Arctic, magical energies distort the snowy landscape. Slowly but surely, an entire city made of crystals begins to materialize. Creatures who had not walked the earth for a thousand years feel the flow of time once more. Not too far from the newly arrived ancient city, a shadowy mist begins to form around a large red structure. A voice carries on the wind, bringing a chill that has nothing to do with the cold.
“Cccccrrrryyyysssstttttaaaaalllllsssss…” it hisses. And upon her celestial throne, Lady Luck laughs in cruelty.
TO BE CONTINUED IN THE LIFE OF A WANTED CHANGELING SEASON 3!
"
"Sure do. Y'all must be here for the position. These acres of ours have kept expandin' over the years, and we just can keep up." she explains "We're sure are glad y'all are here to help mister... 
what's yer name again?" she leans in, eyeing you intently.
. You really hope she doesn't see through you again, and gosh it's getting hot out here, you can feel yourself sweating bullets already. She's staring right at you, why is she staring right at you? Why isn't she saying anything? Is she on to you? Oh crud, she's totally on to you! Make a break for it bug she's gonna-
)
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