Episode 9: The Final Boss Of Chaos, The Hooded Offender vs. Discord!!
Theme:
Discord teleports onto your back and talks to Nightshade. "Hello my dear, I am Discord, lord of chaotic fun. Since your daddy's being a big buzzkill..." he puts on a creepy mask "Do you want to play a game?"
This of course terrifies her and she retreats into The Inventory. Discord raised an eyebrow (that keeps going and floats off his head). "Well that was quite rude of her, don't you think?" he asks you "I just wanted to share in some fun after all."
"Discord..." you growl "GET OFF MY BACK! SHORYUKEN!" and the fight begins.
You're about to tell Nightshade to get back into The Inventory when you suddenly feel extra weight on your back. When you look, you yelp in surprise as you see Discord laying on your back wearing a sombrero and sunglasses. Before you can say anything, Discord says,
"Hello my dear, I am Discord, lord of chaotic fun. Since your daddy's being a big buzzkill..."
You wince at how bad that pun was as Discord puts on a creepy mask and says in a deep creepy voice,
"Do you want to play a game?"
Nightshade gives a terrified "eep" as she retreats into The Inventory. Discord poofs the mask away and raises an eyebrow (that keeps going and floats off his head) before saying.
"Well that was quite rude of her, don't you think?" he asks you "I just wanted to share in some fun after all."
*snap*
Your eyes start to glow orange at Discord's tone and by him scaring Nightshade. You growl in anger,
"Discord... GET OFF MY BACK! SHORYUKEN!" and the fight begins as you jump at Discord to attack him...
...
Or you would have if he didn't suddenly appear dressed in a hoofball referee and blowing a whistle while putting up the "time-out" gesture. This somehow causes you to freeze in mid air as you stare at Discord in shock. Discord then snaps his fingers causing the outfit and whistle to disappear before he walks around you and says,
"Now now Offender, we can't start our game without..."
Suddenly he snaps his fingers causing a barbershop hat, shirt, and cane to appear as he proclaims,
"A musical introduction!"
As soon as he says that, music starts to play, some balloons and piles of apples start to make music and Discord begins to sing!
(ha ha ha ha haaa)
"Well well well, what have we here, The Hooded Offender huh?
Oooh I'm really scared ,So your the one everypony's talkin' about? hahaha
You're joking, you're joking, I cant believe it now,
you're joking me, you gotta be, this cant be the right guy.
He's chaotic and faceless I don't know which is best.
I may just fall to pieces if I don't die laughing first."
If only, if only...you think vindictively as he continues,
"If only you had Pinkie-sense for the trouble that's in store,
you better pay attention H.O cause I'm the chaos Lord.
Now if you aren't shaking there's something very wrong.
Cause this may be the last time you hear the chaos song.
whoa (woah)
whoa (woah)
whoa (wooooow)
I'm the lord of chaos dude."
"Now if I'm feeling evil and which i Normally do,
I may just cook a special batch of chocolate rain brew,
and don't you know the one thing that would make it work so well,
a little bit of magic dear now that would be just swell"
"Whoa (whoa)"
"Whoa (whoa)"
"Yeah"
(he's the chaos making man)
You growl in anger at Discord's song and (deciding that you should mouth off to him) sing as well...
"You may be some ancient god of chaos,
But I'm still Equestria's Most Wanted.
So listen up, freak,
I hope it's understood.
Get right back to your stone,
get the buck out of my neighborhood!"
Discord just laughs as he sings...
"Ha you're joking you're joking, I cant believe this news
you think you'll be the death of me? I'll bring out the fun in you
It's funny, I'm laughing, you really are too much.
and now with your permission dude, I'm going to do my stuff."
You look at him in confusion as you ask..
"What are you going to do?"
He puts his arm around you as he says,
"I'm going to make you my chaotic friend."
You try to Shoryuken him off, but you're still stuck in midair so he laughs before he makes a group of cards appear in your hoof and continues to sing...
"The sound of chaos can be heard just everywhere,
for I'm a gambling chaos man, although I don't play fair."
At this part, you see him peeking at your cards (which happens to be a Royal Flush),
"It's much more fun I must confess with minds on the line,
Not mine of course but your daughter's, now that would be just fine."
You glare daggers as your eyes glow orange in anger at what he said and you sing...
"You'll pay for threatening my daughters mind, prepare to become nothing but sludge."
"Oh Offender your something, you should see your face.
Perhaps you should consider the conditions in place.
Your powers are useless, cause your up against a level one-hundred chaos maker,
now I'm the lord of chaos man, its time to make you my friend."
"Ha ha ha ha ha"
After Discord stops laughing he snaps his fingers, causing you to fall outta the air as his barbershop costume poofs away. Discord begins to chuckle, before he stops when he sees your eyes. He looks at you in confusion and says,
"That's strange... I don't remember giving you glowing eyes... oh well!"
He gives an indifferent shrug and says in a deep voice which you swear you've heard somewhere before,
You just glare angrily as you charge Discord and...
When Bugze uses Falcon Punch, Discord blasts him with chocolate milk from a fire hose, extinguishing the attack.
You call out,
"FALCON PUN-*splash*"
Your orange flame is extinguished by Discord spraying you with chocolate milk from a fire house while wearing a firepony's uniform. Discord chuckles and says,
"Why don't you just cool off. Heh heh. By the way, got milk? Hahahaha-"
Bugzy tries to uppercut into Discord, but he replaces himself with a cloud of cotton candy. While Bugzy is stuck, Discord mentions that he looks a bit "Under the weather" at which Bugzy gets drenched in grape soda from the cloud and frozen solid.
"SHORYUKEN!"
You come at Discord with a rising uppercut,
*snap*
But he replaces himself with a cloud of cotton candy which you get stuck in. He then says,
"Hey H.O., I don't know if you've noticed but you look a little..."
The cotton candy cloud starts drenching you with grape soda as Discord continues,
"Under the weather. Hahahaha. I slay me..."
When Bugze tries a No-Shadow Kick, Discord holds a giant magnifying glass to the sun, striking Bugze with a bolt of hot sunlight and proving once and for all that the kick has a shadow
Ugh, so many dumb puns... I know! I'll just attack while he's busy laughing! you think before you take a big bite out of the cloud, leap at Discord, and call out,
"NO SHADOW KICK!"
But before the first kick even connects with Discord, he suddenly holds up a giant magnifying glass which flash-fries you with a bolt of hot sunlight. You somehow stay stuck in midair for a few more moments before letting out a puff of smoke from your mouth before falling to the ground in a comically smoking heat as Discord (who's now made himself into two Discords with one wearing glasses while the other wears a beret) comments,
"So what are your conclusions on the myth that the 'No Shadow Kick' literally has no shadow?"
"Well Discord 2, I say we can most definitely consider that myth, BUSTED."
When Bugze tries a Psycho Crusher, Discord blocks it with a giant chocolate banana pie, and Bugze comments about how he's never going to get the stains out of his cloak.
Okay... The classics clearly aren't working so let's try a new one.
You kick yourself back up and call out,
"PSYCHO CRUSHER!"
And send yourself spinning like a bullet towards Discord,
*snap SPLAT*
But you splat right into a giant chocolate banana cream pie that Discord teleported in front of him with a snap. You stumble out of the giant pastry and mutter,
"Aw Luna, I'm never gonna get these stains out of my awesome coat..."
Suddenly, Discord starts walking up to you while shaking his head saying,
"H.O.. H.O., H.O... surely you can do better than that-"
Since Discord sounds like character from Star Trot and obviously your cool moves aren't working, why not use campy moves?
"The Human Bowling Ball": Roll into Discord's legs which surprisingly catches Discord off guard and knocks him down, but instead of being upset he just gets happier as he says, "Still got some fight in you. Good, in all honesty this was starting to get boring."
Suddenly, you throw yourself onto the ground on your side and roll through Discord's legs, managing to bowl over the chaos spirit.
If cool doesn't work, go for campy.
However, rather than being upset at this, Discord states,
"Still got some tricks up your hood? Good, in all honesty this was starting to get borin-"
"Wall of Destruction": Try to follow up the "Buggy bowling ball" by jumping off a wall to leg-drop Discord while he's on the ground talking, but he counters with a trampoline knocking you into the wall.
You try to catch Discord in mid-speech as you jump off a nearby wall in an attempt to leg-drop Discord, but he snaps his fingers and turns into a trampoline while causes you to bounce off him and slam face-first into a table.
"SHORYUKEN!"
Discord dodges your uppercut. Again. "No no no, H.O. That's the wrong move! I know I've been gone, but how does no one remember the combination?"
"Shut up and let me hit you already!"
He scoffs. "I will as soon as you get this move right. Now remember this time: crouch, crouch-forward, forward, and punch. Simple!"
"How in the name of Luna am I supposed to crouch forward?"
"You don't. It's all in the timing." Discord barely moves, but thrusts both of his arms forward. "HADOUKEN!"
The blue fireball launched from his hands slams into you and sends you flying. A rope wraps around you and stops you cold. Discord drags you back with a cry of, "Get over here!"
"That's the wrong series!"
"Of course it is!" He throws you up in the air and teleports above you. "I'm Discord!" He transforms into a hundred ton weight and drops on top of you, sending you both plummeting down.
You crash and get buried deep into the ground. "You're eating too much cake with Celestia, H.O. How did you get all the way down here? I'm as light as a feather!" You groan and look at your chest. The massive weight has been replaced with a Lego brick.
Those mares better hurry up...
You rush back at Discord and call out,
"SHORYUKEN!"
But Discord dodges your uppercut. Again.
"No no no, H.O." Discord says, "That's still the wrong move! I know I've been gone for a millennium, but how come nopony remember the combination?"
"Shut up and let me hit you already!" You snap.
He scoffs, "I will as soon as you get this move right. Now remember this time: crouch, crouch-forward, forward, and punch. Simple!"
"How in the name of Luna am I supposed to crouch forward?"
"You don't. It's all in the timing."
Discord barely moves, but thrusts both of his arms forward and calls out,
"HADOUKEN!"
The blue fireball launched from his hands slams into you and sends you flying. You feel a rope wrap around you and stop your flight cold as Discord yanks you back with a cry of,
"That's the wrong series!" you complain as he catches you by the throat.
"Of course it is!"
He hurls you up in the air and teleports above you.
"I'm Discord!"
He transforms into a hundred-ton weight and drops on top of you, sending you both plummeting down. You crash into the ground and get buried deep into the ground.
"You're eating too much cake with Celestia, H.O. How did you get all the way down here? I'm as light as a feather!"
You groan and look at your chest to see that the massive weight has been replaced with a Lego brick. As you struggle to get out of the ground, you can't help but think,
Luna dang it! Where are those mares with those element-y thingys?!
As you think this, you hear Discord say,
"Oh Offender is that the best you got? Is that all you're gonna do for your daughter?"
Your eyes shoot up in anger as you yell in the RCV...
The nightmare cloak with one tail comes out (seeing as you have the ability to form extra tails, you decide to call this "Phase 2" with "Phase 1" being the glowing orange eyes).
"THAT'S IT!"
And with that you blast the Lego brick off of you in a wave of energy causing a bunch of smoke to build up. Discord looks at the smoke with a magnifying glass and says,
"Oh H.O... where are you? I have a nice cha-*SMACK*!
Discord's sentence is cut short when a midnight-colored tail smacks him into a wall. Discord shakes his head as he literally peals himself off the wall before he looks over to see that you're covered in the Nightmare Cloak, one fox tail coming back to sway behind you. Discord's eye widen in surprise before he smiles and says,
"Well now... looks like Hoody got an upgrade."
"Heh heh, that's right Discord, this is just happens when you make me... upset. Seeing how I can do this for awhile, I think I'll call this... Phase 2."
"Let me guess, Phase 1 is the whole 'glowing eyes of doom' thing?"
"Yup."
Discord smirks and gives you the "Bring it on" gesture with his claw as he says.
"Alright buddy, hit me with your best shot!"
"If you insist... uh, whats that phrase again... oh yeah... OFFENDER SMASH!"
With that you charge at Discord...
Use the staff against him, but not only does Discord literally surf the shockwave, he starts using your staff as a toothpick.
Deciding to use some actual tactics this time, you teleport above and behind Discord as you think of (as calmly as you can under the circumstances) and take the staff out of the Inventory before slamming it end-first into the ground upon landing which unleashes a shockwave upon Discord. To your surprise and horror, you see Discord literally surfing the shockwave while saying,
"Surfs up dudes!"
Discord grabs an assist trophy from your favorite fighting Neightendo game, Super Smash Mares Brawl. A Knuckle Joe jumps out and starts to attack Bugze with his Vulcan Jabs attack. Discord uses other assist trophies to attack Bugze for him. Bugze finally gets to a trophy only for it to be Tingle and he trows banana peels out. Discord is floating so it does not affect him...but it does affect Bugze, as he slips around on banana peels.
Interestingly, throughout the whole battle Discord doesn't seem that cruel or even trying that hard. If anything, he's constantly treating you like a buddy throughout the battle saying things like:
When Discord is done surfing, he suddenly grabs a floating trophy and throws it down to cause a Knuckle Joe to appear. The creature jumps towards you with a flurry of Vulcan Jabs that you barely dodge before you manage to grab it with your tail and spin it around you before throwing it at Discord who just nonchalantly leans to the side to dodge it as Knuckle Joe crashes into a large vase behind Discord causing it to dissappear and another trophy to appear. Seizing this opportunity, you teleport over, grab the trophy, and throw it down...
Only for Tingle to appear and start throwing banana peels everywhere.
Since Discord is now floating it doesn't affect him... but it does affect you as it causes you to start slipping and falling all over the battlefield. Discord then starts laughing and says,
"I haven't had this much fun in ages! Sure, I was imprisoned in stone for ages, but still!"
After the fight drags out: With a large amount of his arsenal rendered useless by the laws of chaos, Bugzy tries to use the environment to his advantage, leading to him swinging a giant candycane at Discord while yelling "There can be only ONE!"
Discord meets him in the clash wielding a giant lollypop. Bugzy glares at discord across their sugary weapons when Discord looks up and says "Oh look, a distraction."
"Hah, you think you can fool me with my own- Gurk!" Bugzy mocks before an anvil etched with the word DISTRACTION falls on his head.
Tingle then disappears, but you're more concerned about thinking of a more effective strategy,
My own skills aren't working... Time to take a page out of the book of the Buffalo and use the environment!
You lash out with your nightmare tail and grab a giant candy-cane before launching yourself at Discord with a yell,
"There can be only ONE!"
You swing the giant candy cane down at Discord who blocks the blow with a giant lollipop. You both stand there glaring at each other across your sugary weapons, both pushing against each other in an attempt to break the stalemate when Discord suddenly looks up and says,
"Oh look, a distraction."
You scoff and mock,
"Hah, you think you can fool me with my own-*KONK*!"
Suddenly, an anvil etched with the word "DISTRACTION" konks onto your head.
Discord laughs at your cartoonishly smashed head and says,
"Ahhhahah, Oh H.O you should see your face. It looks so... pancakey! Ahahahah!"
You grumble in anger as your orange eye glow intensifies. You shove the anvil off your head and yell...
Use Fus Ro Dah and it apparently works as it sends Discord blasting off Team Rocket-style, but suddenly you hear a voice next to you ask,
"Hey, do you want to hear the most annoying sound in the world?".
Before you could respond, Discord sends you flying down the street with an irritating high-pitched screech-yell that knocks you into the dancing buffalo like a bowling ball as Discord proclaims, "Sttttrike!"
"FUS RO DAH!!!"
The attack actually seems to work as the roar of power sends Discord flying off into the air in a twinkle. You sigh in relief before you hear a voice next to you say,
"Hey, do you want to hear the most annoying sound in the world?".
Before you could politely decline, Discord lets out an irritating screeching yell that has enough force to send you flying down the street before you crash into the dancing buffalo ballerinas like a bowling ball crashing into bowling pins.
"Sttttttrike!" Discord happily proclaims. "Now for the lightning round!"
Discord then starts rapidly snapping his fingers to start sending objects flying at you like lighting bolts, hadokens, cupcakes, and even a kitchen sink. Fortunately, you're able to almost effortlessly dodge all these projectiles.
Well, at least he doesn't, seem to be a good fighter.... You think to yourself, as you easily dodge his attacks, you wonder why the god of chaos was hardly trying to- wait is that another him dual wielding video game controllers?! He wasent actually fighting you ! "hey! Get overhear and fight you, um, coward!" You yell in anger. The god of chaos wassent even phased and talked to you in a calm tone "oh well if you insist..." The discord you where fighting suddenly deflated as the discord with the controler was.... Typing in cheat codes? "lets see.... Up,up,down,down,left,right,left,right...... And.... B, A" His controller the turned into a giant sword with buttons on the handle, while his other turned into a giant shield, or rather a giant mirror shaped like a shield. You would normally yell something along the lines of 'thats cheating' but your dark woes conditioned mind was currently telling you "roll darnit roll!" As discord relentlessly swung at you, your surprisingly well timed rolls the only thing keeping you alive. You hoped the girls would get here before he starts useing his mag- to late, he's already hurling chocolate coated fire balloons at you now. At the end of discords 50 piece attack combo, You charge up your horn and fire a blast of magic at him but it hits his giant mirror and bounces of harmlessly, actually now that you think about it you feel like you've done this before. Discord seemingly recovered from his exhaustion held his controller-sword thing in the air an pressed some of the buttons on the hilt seemingly entering yet another cheat code, as suddenly the pink clouds around him gathered around the sword and turned into soap of some kind, coating the sword with its wonderful cleanliness. He then slammed the sword into the ground, createing a trail of soap that curved to follow you, thankfully you dodge that easily and and avoid the attack. "ok ive definitely seen this before, exept with lightning." You try to take a step foward only to slip and fall, the reason of which could probably be explained by the mysterious soap suds on the ground.
Well, at least he doesn't seem to be that good at offense...
You think to yourself as you easily dodge his attacks.
You'd think a god of chaos would be alot harder to beat than- wait a minute...
Out of the corner of your eye, you spot another Discord dual wielding video game controllers!
What the?! He wasn't even actually fighting me!
"Hey! Get over here and fight me for real you lazy coward!" You yell in anger.
Discord wasn't even phased and says to you in a calm tone,
"Oh well, if you insist..."
The discord you where fighting suddenly deflated as the discord with the controller was... Typing in cheat codes?
"Let's see.... Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right... And... B, A."
His controller then turned into a giant sword with buttons on the handle, while the other turned into a giant shield, or rather a giant mirror shaped like a shield. You would normally yell something along the lines of "Oi, that's cheating!", but you're kinda busy trying to dodge Discord's attacks as he relentlessly swung at you, your surprisingly well-timed rolls being the only thing keeping you alive.
I hope the girls would get here before he starts using his magi- oh buck...
Discord suddenly starts hurling chocolate-coated fire balloons at you now. At the end of Discord's 50 piece attack combo you charge up your horn and fire a stun spell at him, but he brings up his giant mirror shield and the spell bounces off harmlessly and hits an earth pony with a light brown coat and a darker brown mane. Discord then holds his controller-sword thing in the air and presses some of the buttons on the hilt, seemingly entering yet another cheat code. Suddenly the pink clouds around him gathered around the sword and turned into soap, coating the sword with its wonderful cleanliness. He then slammed the sword into the ground, creating a trail of soap that curved to follow you, thankfully you dodge that easily and and avoid the attack. You try to take a step forward only to slip and fall on the soap suds on the ground.
Discord (his sword and shield suddenly disappeared) starts skating around on the soap suds and says,
"Weeeeeee! I don't ever want this fight to end!"
You growl in anger as you get up and glare daggers at Discord, a second tail beginning to form. Discord takes notice of this and asks (while continuing to figure-skate on the suds),
"Are you growing a second tail? You really are chaotic aren't ya?"
He was about to laugh, when...
"Hehehehe..." Your head is down as you laugh creepily. Discord stops his skating and gives you a confused look and asks,
"H.O., you okay buddy? Your laughing is all creepy-like."
Instead of answering, you throw your head up into the air as you let out an insane laugh that's all too familiar to you...
"AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
You then stop laughing and stare at Discord with a insane look and say,
"Ohhhhhh Discord, come out and play... WITH YOUR LIVER AHAHAHHA!"
And with that you charge at the stunned Discord...
Bugzy tries to Psycho Crusher, but Discord spawns a brick wall full of dynamite in his way.
"PSYCHO CRUSHER!"
You send yourself spinning at Discord who then makes a wall of bricks appear with a snap.
Heh, it'll take more than a wall of bricks to stop-*KA-BOOM*
It turns out the "bricks" were dynamite as the explosion sends you smashing into a ruined building making it collapse onto you.
"Oh, such grace H.O. and what a landing, I give it 6.6 tacos out of pi!"
You lash out with your tail and grab Discord by the arm, but before you can pull, he says,
"GET OVER HERE!"
and yanks you towards him, causing you to splat face-first into a carrot cake he's holding out before Discord comments, "Ain't I a stinker?"
A nightmare tail lashes out of the rubble and wraps around Discord's arm, but he grabs your tail and yells, "GET OVER HERE!" as he yanks you out of the rubble with a mighty tug and splats you head-on with a carrot cake before snickering,
"Ain't I a stinker? Oh, and this may be the cake calling the pie fattening, but isn't doing the exact same thing and expecting different results the definition of insanity?"
Rapid-fire stun spells at Discord who suddenly snaps on a trenchcoat and some sunglasses before leaning back and dodging them all in slow-motion. He then says "Ooo, Ooo, My turn!" he then transforms into a big laser cannon and yells "I'MA FIRIN MAH LAZAR!"
Shaking off the cake, your horn glows and you start rapid-firing stun-spells at Discord. He then suddenly snaps on a black trenchcoat and a pair of sunglasses before proceeding to dodge all your stun spells in slow motion by leaning backwards. After that he says,
"Whoa. My turn!"
With a snap, he transforms into a big laser cannon and yells,
"I'MA FIRIN MAH LAZAR!", before sending a giant beam of energy at you. You barely manage to dodge out of the way of the beam before it obliterates a cabbage cart behind you (causing the owner to scream "MY CABBAGES!").
Throw down a stink/smoke bomb to distract Discord while you teleport behind him and hit him with No Shadow Kick. It works at first, but before you can deliver the final knock-back kick, Discord hits you with a Captain Kirk-style double-fist to the side and proclaims, "C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!"
"NO SHADOW KICK!"
The flurry of kicks actually make contact with Discord's back, but before you can deliver the final knock-back kick, he turns and hits you with a Captain Kirk-style double-fist to the side and proclaims,
The blow sends you into another wall, but you smash the structure with your nightmare tails and prepare to charge at Discord again when,
*snaps fingers*
You suddenly can't move! You glare insanely at Discord as he says,
"Well that was bananas of fun... but I think we should make this even more interesting and I know just the trick."
With that he snap's his fingers and...
Discord tries to make Nightshade join his side
Discord: Hello there little one, what's your name?
Nightshade: Nightshade
You: Don't you talk to her!
Discord: (snaps his fingers and you lose your voice and can't move) Grownups or talking
NightShade: Daddy?
Discord: Aww Aren't you Adorable, you know you remind me of a certain moony princess that went nuts and tried to kill her own sister.
Nightshade: (Recoils) I don't like you very much
Discord: You sure about that? (Snaps fingers and cookies and other treats appear causing Night Shade's eyes to dilate and widen)
How about you join me in chaos? We've Got Cookies!
She jumps out and starts munching on all the treats faster than even Discord can believe till she sits holding her swollen belly and relaxes
Discord: My My My,, what an appetite. (He places a hand on her head) you can have all these and more if you just go rebellious teenager on your dad over there (she starts to turn gray)
You are furious, but still can't move, but luckily the DFV helps
DFV: GET THAT THING AWAY FROM OUR DAUGHTER!!!!
Her added anger causes the tails to appear and they slingshot you at Discord in a high speed Psycho Crusher
Before you hit you Briefly think aloud: WAIT! OUR Daughter?
Nightshade pops out of The Inventory in front of you. Before she can even turn around and see your unstable form, Discord snaps his fingers and makes Nightshade's head snap towards him. He then puts on a smile and says,
"Hello there little one. My apologies about the mask. I'm Discord by the way. What's your name?"
Nightshade looks at him slightly scared before she answers,
"I'm N-N-Nightshade."
Discord then coos and pinches Nightshade's cheek while saying,
"Awww, Aren't you Adorable, you know you remind me of a certain loony princess that went nuts and tried to kill her own sister."
You would have wondered what that could have implied, but you're too busy thinking of ways to mangle Discord for touching your daughter.
Make him pay...
Not now you psycho...
You think back to the DFV. You then see Nightshade eating cookies at super sonic speeds. Apparently while you were thinking, you missed Discord give them to her. But what he says and does next makes your blood boil...
"My My My...what an appetite..."
He offers a cherpumple to her in one hand while he gently places the other one her head,
"You can have all these and more if you just go rebellious teenager on your old dad over there for your new daddy, Discord. What d'ya say?"
Nightshade starts to turn gray as she munches on the cake. You're enraged at this, but you still can't move. Suddenly the DFV Screams within your mind,
GET THAT THING AWAY FROM OUR DAUGHTER!!!
Her added anger along long with yours causes you to let out a horrible piercing scream along while the 3rd tail forms. Discord grabs his ears, wincing in audio pain which stops Nightshade's discording and allows/causes her to flee. While all of this is going on, you can only think,
WAIT! OUR Daughter?
Enter Phase 3...
Soon your scream ends and this starts to play in the background as you glare at Discord with pure hatred, your three tails swishing viciously behind you as you say in a distorted, cold-hearted, legion-like voice that sounds like a mix of your voice and the DVF...
"Discord... Here come the pain!"
Discord just glares at you with a smirk and says,
"Guess that's the end of break. Now for Round 2!"
And with that... you both charge!
Outro:
What do you do?
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(DFV) Level 1 unicorns have a small amount of magic that corresponds to their special talent.
Level 2 unicorns are the average magic users.
Level 3 are the creme de la creme. capable of large feats of magic, such as transmutation, teleportation ect.
Level 4's are very powerful. Only 3 are known, Clover the clever, Starswirl the bearded and Twilight.
Level 5 is alicorn strength.
Level 8 is equal to discord.
Your tails correspond to this, Get angrier and you may have a chance. You are currently at level 5. Your natural level is two.
(BUGZE) Why are you helping me?
(DFV) Because I care about Nightshade.
Something for the next chapter.
"No reality-warping counters to Bugze's attacks" ....that whole chapter was nothing but discord useing reality warping counters to bugzes attacks....
4990792 so.... Its like super soni- erm i mean super sayan levels?
No more games, no more fancy moves, NO MORE YELLING OUT YOUR ATTACKS! JUST KILL HIM, AND SCREW THE ELEMENTS' PLAN!
worst game sonic 06 it still gives me nightmares
4990966 What we meant is Discord CAN still use reality warping reference counters, but Bugze can get in some hits this time.
Grow nine tales!
You throw a punch. "The circus is leaving town!"
Discord swings a crowbar. "Still one more show!"
You collide in a spectacular explosion that knocks you both back.
Discord grins. "Hoo HOO! I like this side of you!"
"You shouldn't." Your three tails wrap around his arms and one of his legs, and you slam him to the ground. "This form let me beat Celestia!" You slam him again. "What chance do you have?"
"I beat Celestia too, you know." He chuckles. "You missed one, H.O." Discord kicks out his goat leg and it detaches, flying into your face. It knocks you back and then pummels you to the ground. You bring back your tails to shield yourself. Discord teleports over and puts his leg back on. "It's safe to say I have a leg up on the situation."
You groan. "That was horrible, even for you."
You fool! What happend to your scary voice?! You're holding back!
I won't let you win!
WHAT?!
You nearly killed my friends at the Gala! I won't let that happen again! I can control you!
But you can't control HIM!
Discord waves. "Hellooooo? I swear, I'm standing right here, and you don't even notice. Maybe this will get your attention!" He snaps his fingers.
"What... what did you--" A chocolate fountain erupts under you, blowing you sky-high.
Can we please get serious now?
This pile of garbage known as 1313: Bigfoot Island.
Saw it on Netflix... a year ago, maybe? The movie is nothing but a shirtless teenager walking through the woods, camera cuts to a crazy chick spying on him, he gets chased by a man wearing a red Snuggee and a gorilla mask, camera cuts to Snuggee Man throwing a punch, shirtless teenager throws himself backwards.
Cue next shirtless teenager.
Somehow, the crazy chick can spy on all these teenagers from the same spot on the island, despite the fact that each guy goes to a different location. And her motivation for wanting them dead is that they were mean to her. That's the dark secret the trailer mentions. They just made fun of her, and her response was to kill off most of them, but keep the last one alive (he was nice to her). She threatens him with death-by-Snuggee-Man if he doesn't stay with her forever. Of course I'm serious. They even show Snuggee Man leaning out from behind a tree when she makes that announcement.
The movie is so cheap, it actually reuses footage. You see Shirtless Teenager Number One walk through the exact same section of woods the exact same way twice in ten minutes.
Use Meteor Impact, but Discord transforms into Babe Ruth and literally knocks you around the world before catching you in an oversized catcher's mitt. He then transforms into Dan Marino and proclaims, "TOUCHDOWN!" and spikes you into the ground like a football.
When the DFV takes control, Discord's attitude changes from "trolling buddy" to "disappointed seriousness" and proceeds to nonchalantly smack away DFV's attacks (not even bothering with warping reality for DFV) while saying how much Nightmare Moon sucks as a villain,
"Boo hoo! Everypony likes my sister's gas more than my space pebble. I know, I'll go cover Equestria in eternal cold and darkness so everypony will starve and freeze to death. Sweet chaos, I was never that petty..."
Discord then boredly asks,
"You're boring. Can H.O. come out and play now?"
But the DFV responds,
"NEVER! I'M IN CONTROL NOW AND YOU'LL NEVER SEE YOUR TOY AGAIN!"
This causes Discord to get angry and say.
"Give. Him. BACK!"
And proceeds to start devastating DFV.
AND/OR
DFV proclaims,
"FINE! IF I CAN'T BREAK YOU. I'LL JUST BREAK YOUR TOYS!!!"
And proceeds to go on a rampage through Ponyville and even tries to maim/kill some townsponies before Discord steps in screaming,
"HEY! NO ONE MESSES WITH MY TOYS BUT ME!!!"
And proceeds to start devastating DFV with more brutal and serious attacks.
Enter another even more unstable phase with more tails...
---------------------
I have too many worst movies to think of off the top of my head, but I can say the worst ANIMATED movie I ever saw was Eight Crazy Nights.
Outside of the decent animation, it's filled with bad writing, toliet humor, and throughly unlikable characters. I'm one of the few people who honestly likes Adam Sandler (hay, The Longest Yard is my favorite football movie), but even I have my limits...
Pull out a machine gun and fire at him screaming your head off, only to realize he's disappeared... again.
Edit; worst movie ever, eh? That's difficult. I'm tempted to say Eragon (did NOT follow the story very much and some parts, now that I think about it, make me wonder if the people who made it ever actually read the book) or Epic Movie. You know what, it's that last one.
Right before Discord and Bugze reach each other, one of his fox tails pulls out a stink bomb and detonates it in Discord's face. As Discord reels back, Bugze punches Discord in the jaw causing it to spin around his head a few times until Discord catches it and puts it back in place. Discord responds "Well, that was naughty." Bugze runs around firing stun spells that hit Discord causing to take a step back with each hit until he has enough and yells "ENOUGH!!" I am a GOD! I will not be bullied by a pathe-" Bugze's tails grab Discord's and starts slamming back and forth into the ground like Hulk from the Avengers.
Right before Discord and Bugze reach each other, one of his fox tails pulls out a stink bomb and detonates it in Discord's face. As Discord reels back, Bugze punches Discord in the jaw causing it to spin around his head a few times until Discord catches it and puts it back in place. Discord responds "Well, that was naughty." Bugze runs around firing stun spells that hit Discord causing to take a step back with each hit until he has enough and yells "ENOUGH!!" I am a GOD! I will not be bullied by a pathe-" Bugze's tails grab Discord's and starts slamming back and forth into the ground like Hulk from the Avengers.
Right before Discord and Bugze reach each other, one of his fox tails pulls out a stink bomb and detonates it in Discord's face. As Discord reels back, Bugze punches Discord in the jaw causing it to spin around his head a few times until Discord catches it and puts it back in place. Discord responds "Well, that was naughty." Bugze runs around firing stun spells that hit Discord causing to take a step back with each hit until he has enough and yells "ENOUGH!!" I am a GOD! I will not be bullied by a pathe-" Bugze's tails grab Discord's and starts slamming back and forth into the ground like Hulk from the Avengers.
4991850
Would you please comment once instead of the same comment 3 times?
This guy has been giving you the run around the whole fight, and then he has the gall to threaten your daughter. It's time to flatten this freak.
Your Kung Fu and Video Game Moves don't work. It's time to unleash the Nightmare Power within you. Let your Anger fuel your strength.
The DFV seems to be your second set of eyes as your tails counter off any surprise attacks that he throws after teleporting without you even knowing about them.
Of course you are now only keeping him on his toes, he's still reality warping to his hearts content, even if you are landing a few blows on him.
He's still getting hits in on you.
Discord then starts punching at you incredible fast while saying "ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA!!!!" over and over again. And you can must rapidly block.
He also gives his own FUS RO DAH and knocks you off your feet
You: THAT'S MY MOVE!!!
Discord: I didn't see your name on it!
Finally you have enough. Your tails unleash a dark mist that completely encompasses you and Discord for a brief moment, to which he can't even escape.
Discord: What in the world is this?
You: Welcome to my Nightmare (you say in your evil legion voice)
Silent Hill level horrors come out of the wood work and start attacking Discord, he still has his base powers but can't teleport out so he attacks back
You: Inside this room, all of my dreams become realities, and some of my realities become dreams (yes, you somehow made that sound scary)
Discord: Oh lord, is that how I sound to others?
While he's overwhelmed wrap a tail around his throat
You: COME HERE!
Use this time wisely and unleash an ULTRA COMBO onto all parts of his body, especially onto his family jewels
He doubles over in pain as the mist dissipates and his voice is a few octaves too high.
Discord: Why!
You: Hey, you hurt my children, I hurt yours, potential or otherwise.
You then proceed to keep fighting eachother to a stalemate.
When the Mane 6 Return with the Elements of Harmony, you and Discord have kind of been neck and neck the whole time, which means both of you are breathing heavily. The girls start to charge up
In a last ditch effort he teleports Night Shade Back into his arms before they fire.
Night Shade: DADDY!!!
You: NO!!!
Discord: Drop the Elements Girls. If I get stoned, so does the little brat!
Twilight: Put her down Discord!
Discord: I don't think so, you see I'd rather not be turned into a statue again, and your elements can't distinguish between different evils
YOU: SHE'S NOT EVIL!!!
Discord: Oh please, what could be more Evil than the unholy spawn of a Changeling and the Darker Half of Luna's soul?
DFV: KILL HIM!!!!
You: Please! Girls! Don't Fire!
The Mane 6 Power Down as they can't bring themselves to hurt a filly
Discord Begins to laugh in triumph, until Night Shade brings out your can of WD-40 and sprays it in Discord's eye
Discord: OW OW OW OW OW!!!!
He drops Night Shade and she runs to your arms.
You: That's my girl (you smile at her)
The girls recharge and shot their Friendship Rainbow death weapon at Discord
Discord: Oh you little...Uh-Oh! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!! (Stoned)
Then start cheering to the heavens with everyone else that you lucked out and won.
I'm gonna say Transformers, any of them, but especially the first since it hit all the right buttons of pissing me off
Oh you've got these sentient robots with genuine emotions and feelings? Well screw that, let's focus on our "Relatable" character Shia LeBoof and watch him, his annoying parents and other annoying humans run around being annoying!
Hell, the movie is 75 percent focused on him. It's Shia LeBeof the movie with guest stars the Transformers.
What makes it worse is that it could of been a decent movie if they just removed all those annoying characters and focused on the AutoBots and the Human Soldiers since they can understand what the friggen Autobots are going through and be more relatable.
Anyway, I guess what I'm saying is Screw Michael Bay!
Also, here's a more awesome video for the Outro. Same Song, just better to look at
Discord has you pinned and says "Its about time we put our differences aside and become friends." Discord is about to put a claw on your head when. A cutlass stops it an inch away from your face. "What?" discord exclaims
An old pony with a grey coat, white mane and beard is holding the cutlass in his magic. Rounded glasses on his face but you can't see his eyes do to the sun reflecting off his glasses.
"Who are you?" Nightshade asks, your to stunned to say anything.
"No one, just someone passing through, and saw this." He wave a hoof in the air. "thought I'd stop by." His voise is old and wise. You being on the ground he towers over you, his brown overclock is billowing in the wind and in his matching saddlebags you can see duck tape? and other bobs and ends. But the strangest thing is on his cloak it is the same symbol you have on yours.
"Stop by?" Discord asks
"Yeah, and help."
Discord puts his hands on his hips "Help... who?"
"You'll see" The old pony grins as he pulls out (from his saddle bag) a lighter duck taped to a paint can, and firers. A furry of flames erupts from the can. Discord snaps and teleports behind the pony. A giant sword(That looks WAY to big for him to life) in his grip and swings downwards. The stranger rolls out the way, then sweeps at Discords legs.
Discord jumps and lands on the blade of the cutlass, using it as a trampoline and does a forward spin attack. The stranger doges but a corner of his clock getting cut off.
You can no larger watch the battle the do to a candy can colored vine sprouts out of the ground forcing your head to the ground. And through the sounds of crossing blades you hear discord yell. "H.O. NO SCREEN CHEATING!"
'looks like Discords having fun...' you think as he laughs and says stuff like. "Have at thee!" or "Un-guard!" You roll your eyes- and see the girls. and the have there elements!
[You can fill in the rest]
Discords stone, and you see the brown fabric(From the strangers clock) you see him walking away. "Hey! WAIT!" you run up to him as fast as you can. "You forgot something." you huff(He walked really far)
"Keep it. it might give you luck. and you need all you can get" he laughs
(*+1 Fabric from Stranger's clock - give you +7 luck*)
You tie the fabric around your hoof
"Yeah..." You rub the back you your neck. "So who are you anyway?" You go to look him in the eyes but there a pure white... still
He looks at you and says simple. "A friend."
(*+1 Fabric from Stranger/friend's clock - gives you +7 luck*)
"Huh?" You ask dumbly
He begins to walk away you walk after him but he says "Don't you need to check on your daughter."
You eyes widen "BUCK! your right." and you speed off.
Worst movie was definitely Frozen. How can people actually fall for the marketing hype? It's stupid. "Our daughter has powers, so let's lock her away." "Hi I'm a random talking snowman with a moose that will stop at nothing to eat my nose." Have we really fallen that far?
4991199 so... Basicaly discords not getting any MK2 AI assistance next chapter? Works for me.
I don't know about anyone else but I just really wanna see nightshade do the finishing blow
the worst movie ever made is sharknado
4991573
Having fun yet?
Shut up!
We're not supposed to win this! We're just buying time! For whatever reason, he likes me. I'm stepping in again.
No! You're weak! You're pathetic!
And you're insane!
I hate you so much!
Awww, I thought I was your friend?
Excuse me, do you two need a moment to kiss and make up?
What?
Who dares?!
Hm. Who do you know that can bend reality to his will? You zoned out on me again, and I just thought I would listen in. I do offer relationship counseling on Thursdays if you two are interested. Lover's quarrels are my specialty!
You cur! Your soul shall burn for that!
Wow. Is that how Rainbow Dash and Applejack feel when I talk about them? I'm a jerk, huh?
DFV suddenly jumps out of Bugze like N00b from Pony Kombat. This catches Discord off guard and she tackles him through the ground and he reappears in the air. Combo with falcon punch to launch him high into the air, then teleport above him and launch him into the ground with meteor impact.
One last idea because I haven't seen it yet. Nightshade ran off when the three tails came out, right? She returns leading the Mane 6 with the Elements.
4991930
Sorry. Didn't realize it happened. Stupid computer
4993255 soon to be Shark NATO!
Your physical body starts ripping apart from the sheer amount of energy inside you. You are becoming the Nightmare Cloak.
(After the battle)
Ponyville is devastated, though there were no casualties.
You hover next to Nightshade and sing in your synthetic voice "Nightshade... Is it just you and me in the wreckage of the world?
That must be so confusing for a little girl.
And I know you're going to need me here with you,
But I'm losing myself and I'm afraid you're going to lose me too.
This magic keeps me alive, but it's making me crazy!
And I need to save you, but who's going to save me?
Please forgive me for whatever I do... When I don't remember you."
A light brown pony trots up to you. "I think I may be able to help you with that."
All hail the true Queen of Equestria, for she has finally unlocked the power of pissed the f@#$ off at the person who threatens her child!