- Member Since 2nd May, 2014
- offline last seen Yesterday
The Chronicler
An archiver of the Equestrian Multiverse - a silent observer and sometimes concerned third party. Welcome to my tower.
The Chronicler
Joined 2nd May, 2014 ·
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Very well done. The writing style doesn't personally fit what I like to read, BUT it is incredibly well done. Thumbs up and keep the good work coming.
Best of luck with the story.
Very descriptive and pretty interesting, got my attention enough to fav and like.
Strangely it seems a little too descriptive, but that just might be my personal preferences talking 
Anyways, I would be happy to pre-read, I don't know how much I could help but I do know how to tell if something starts to drag on and tell you if anything seems to become redundant or too wordy. I won't be much help with grammatical problems though, that be for editors to work out 
I'd like to where this goes now.
Not bad at all.
Allow me to help you spread this story a little.
Take out the thing for zebras that pinkie said. Pinkie Pie didn't even know what a zebra WAS at this point in time.
The writing is pretty good, but I couldn't help but be bored throught the entire chapter. It might be because the chapter is just a rehash of canon events with a few original splashes mixed in, as well as the Living Darkness stuff, but regardless it was still a long and drawn out repeat of the first and second episode.
5307831 Don't worry, next chapter should deviate quite a bit and provide a bit of the reason for the gore tag
The reason I only referred to Deathweaver as the "Living Darkness" for most of the chapter was because I wanted to wait until I finally revealed him until I give him a true name. I thought it would be more ominous 
.
5315829
Dude, that was a damn nice synapse on the 'cover'. Can't wait to read this.
I don't know why this makes me cringe, but it does. Anyways, very nice chapter! Looking fowards for more!
6100727 Thanks for the support! I'm trying to give Twilight a bit of a more mature characterization in this story while still retaining her naivety and ignorance regarding legitimate non-political friendships . After all, she's being groomed by the immortal "sun goddess" to eventually be a powerful figure. I wanted Spike and Twilight's relationship to have more meaning that him being her "number one assistant", so I was left with a sister-brother or a mother-son relationship. I chose the latter for the characterization I'm aiming for.
this looks really good
This is very good! Onwards!
i don't remember whats happening
7857564 That's understandable. While I don't ever plan on canceling the story, as this has so much potential to me, it will probably never have a stable update schedule since I have other priorities right now. Thus the "hiatus" tag.
To recap, though...
"Lord Deathweaver" and his wonderfully psychotic henchman "Nightgaunt" have appeared to hitch a ride with Nightmare Moon to Equestria - or at least use her entrance to sneak in. He proceeded to "liberate" a pack of diamond dogs, resurrect them for labourers and scouts, snoop around Twilight's head for relevant information about the region and time period, and is now renovating the Castle of the Royal Sisters in the Everfree (dubbed Circadia Castle, bonus points for anyone who figures out why I called it that) to act as his base.
Meanwhile, Twilight is coming to terms with her decision to remain in Ponyville. Trixie is excited for the return of Princess Luna. Shining Armor is grumpy that Celestia kept him in the dark. Finally, Luna is abruptly become comatose with some malady.
Hope that helps!
7857668 OH MY GOD THANK YOU SO MUCH...
Sorry for shouting I just got excited
7857668 Sun and Moon represent the daily Circadian Rhythm?
7859044 This is a little late, but congratulations! You get a cookie!
As for everyone else, I worked on chapter five a bit over the weekend. So don't think that this story is dead. It's just very hard to work up the initiative to write for an extended period of time. There will be a total of six scenes in the chapter. I've written the draft for the first three and have started the fourth.
Some things to expect...
What happened to Luna?
Nightgaunt goes hunting
Deathweaver's first adversary
Trixie continues her journey
Twilight explores Ponyville
I am greatly annoyed at how Fimfiction ruined the verse organization I had for that prophecy...
Edit: Fixed it! Apologies if you received a false updated.
Loved the action scene man, keep it up!
Farcry 5!
9145494
I've only played one of the Farcry games, and only then very briefly. I am curious what made you think of it.
9240826
I don't remember anymore.... Somehow one part of you're story made me think of farcry 5. Maybe one of the lines what The father said in the game...
For any new readers that stumble upon this... I am in the process of doing extensive revisions on existing chapters and writing new ones. My goal right now is to finish the book on my end, unpublish all existing chapters, and then republish the revised and new ones on a weekly basis.